#powerpoint workshop
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bittscollege · 5 months ago
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Are you looking to enhance your digital skills and work more efficiently? Join our Free MS Office Workshop and optimize your productivity! As a student, professional, or business owner, learning MS Word, Excel, and PowerPoint can actually make your workflow much better.
📌 Workshop Details:
✔️ Date: March 8, 2025 ✔️ Time: 10:00 AM - 11:00 AM ✔️ Mode: Online, Virtual Classroom
In this one-hour workshop, you will discover useful tools, tips, and tricks to work smarter, not harder. Excel users will discover how to use formulas, functions, and data management techniques effectively. PowerPoint enthusiasts will gain insights into creating visually compelling and impactful presentations. Word users will explore formatting, templates, and advanced editing features to streamline document creation. https://bitts.college/workshop-registration
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warpweighted · 2 months ago
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this is pure haterism so it's not going in the tag and it's not gonna b searchable but the more I learn about Broadway H*destown the less I like it what do you MEAN they put Promises before Word To The Wise and His Kiss The Riot what do you MEANNNNNNNN the whole POINT of Promises is now that Hades has decided to let them go theyd better hash out their shit here and now but in bway Hades hasnt even DECIDED yet its gonna take him TWO MORE SONGS and it BREAKS THE FLOW what do you MEANNNNNNNNNN
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funkle420 · 3 months ago
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dude i was feeling so great before a pathetic cis man once again questioned my intelligence
#and then 2 days later i see his project so far and its so sad and pathetic#dude went on a trip to nyc with his coworkers and was lonely so he wrote an 8 minute song about it and out it over sad clips of nyc#so WHY DO I STILL FEEL STUPID???#this dude assumed i didn't know what secondary action in animation is#on the day of our workshop on the 12 principles of animation#for which i made the whole animation demo#after be had presumably seen the animations I'd posted in the class discord server#this dude is so lame and im letting him make me feel like shit#he's repeatedly spoken to me like he assumes I'm the stupidest person in the room#i think it's cause im so clockable#misogynist cis men who usually treat women this way also treat trans men this way if we dont pass enough#idk man that's gotta be it#cause i may be stupid but im a little smarter than average i think#im as smart as an art student with adhd (and the other one that i dont wanna name bc of recent usa events) can be#but dude he ruined my whole fucking week with that#my spirit was crushed#i even complemented his powerpoint even though it was bare bones and ripped from wikipedia#and he didn't complement my demo or even comment on it#other than during it he did it along with the other students and when i encouraged him he was all#yeah gonna see if this actually works#HUH??#buddy it's just a pendulum exercise it's not rocket science#do you doubt my ability to animate a pendulum?#fuck you dude#the way he talks to me is like those men who ask women wearing band tees to name 1 song by the band#no wonder your coworkers didn't wanna hang out with you dog you suck#when he 2nd guessed if i knew what 2ndary animation is#i like shared a glance with a classmate and she seemed just as incredulous abt that comment as i was#so at least i know im not crazy
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daforged · 6 months ago
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god i fucking hate group work. tell me why i'm in a group who despite me CONSTANTLY pushing at them to move on because we only have 25 minutes for this stupid ass project decides to linger and hem and haw over bullshit we already have an answer for instead of trying to actually fucking finish what we've been assigned
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getoutofthisplace · 1 year ago
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Dear Gus & Magnus,
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to make an early flight to Cleveland for the Content Entrepreneur Expo, which is the first conference I've been to as an attendee since 2018, I think. Among other things I want to get out of the conference, I'm hoping to figure out how to implement artificial intelligence into my workday so that I can have more time to do more things. Today was a four-hour pre-conference workshop to kick things off. The technology is advancing so fast that it's going to take some work to stay on top of it, but I sincerely feel like my future professional success depends upon my ability to adapt to it. Stay tuned.
Dad.
Cleveland, Ohio. 5.5.2024 - 1.21pm.
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bittscanada001 · 5 months ago
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Unlock MS Office Mastery: Boost Your Productivity!
Want to take your productivity to the next level? Join our MS Office Workshop and learn how to work smarter, not harder! Whether it's mastering Excel formulas, creating impactful PowerPoints, or streamlining your work in Word, we've got you covered.
Learn essential tools, tips, and tricks that will transform your workflow.
Date: March 8, 2025
Time: 10:00 am to 11:00 am
Mode of Instruction: Online, Virtual classroom
Sign up today and start working more efficiently tomorrow!
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jatanshahskill · 8 months ago
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Jatan Shah Reviews | PowerPoint to formulate
Start designing now for PowerPoint to formulate what your ideas would bring into visual forms in mere minutes!
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faebriel · 1 year ago
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keep going Man this teacher shit is easy when no one responds to my fucking emails however after doing it part time for a term i Am reaching my ready to kill someone limit
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thevtuberlestat · 3 months ago
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went to that special occasion trial play that the theatre de vampires put on and i gotta say the storyline was wayyy more convoluted than their other stuff. yeah man i didn't really get why the murder was a big deal if the guy's fine. powerpoint coulda been cut down. uh-huh yeah i think the two guys were gay or something. no i didn't really get what they were going for with it or what the second girl was doing there. yeah the special effects were fun. coulda workshopped it a little more, i'm glad they're back to their usual stuff now. what do you mean baby lu isn't coming back
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solxamber · 5 months ago
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Mission: Emotionally Compromised || Jamil Viper
Jamil’s greatest failure as a spy? Falling head over heels for the person he was meant to destroy.
this one is for @chocolatebearstrawberry who made the divider i use here!! i love you <3
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As the CEO of one of the most powerful tech companies in the world, you’ve always prided yourself on two things: your razor-sharp business acumen and your ability to sniff out deception from a mile away.
Your competitors, on the other hand, have prided themselves on one thing: trying (and failing) to steal your technology.
For years, you’ve played a high-stakes game of corporate cat and mouse, batting away industrial spies like a bored housecat knocking expensive wine glasses off the counter. You’ve watched billion-dollar corporations sink millions into elaborate heists, only for their agents to fail spectacularly. Frankly, it's getting a little embarrassing for them.
But now, thanks to the untimely departure of your longtime secretary (who swears their early retirement has nothing to do with being bribed into luxury exile), you suddenly have a vacancy.
And judging by the pile of applicants currently waiting in the lobby, every single one of them is a spy.
The Parade of Intelligence Failures™:
First up is Agent Steve (probably not his real name), whose résumé is written in Comic Sans and lists "lockpicking" under "special skills." When you ask him about his previous administrative experience, he stares at you blankly for three full seconds before blurting out, "I can type… very fast?"
Next is Ms. Definitely-Not-Wearing-a-Wire, who keeps touching her ear like she’s communicating with someone. Midway through the interview, you distinctly hear a whisper from her earpiece: "Ask about the security systems."
Then there’s Tech Bro #5, who brings a USB drive and, while maintaining full eye contact with you, tries to plug it into your computer. Your computer. The one sitting on your desk. Right in front of you.
By the time Mr. Fake-ID Falls Out of His Wallet stumbles in, you’re fighting the overwhelming urge to launch yourself out the nearest window.
This is getting pathetic.
You’ve sat through twenty interviews of barely competent corporate espionage, and you’re ready to set up a PowerPoint presentation titled, "How To Spy Without Immediately Getting Caught: A Workshop For Morons."
Do they think you built a billion-dollar empire by being stupid? Do they think your years of fending off corporate espionage haven’t honed your bullshit detector into a finely tuned death laser?
You start debating whether to just hire a golden retriever and call it a day—at least dogs have loyalty.
And then he walks in.
Enter: Jamil Viper.
The moment he steps into your office, you know this one is different.
For one thing, his résumé isn’t riddled with typos or hilariously obvious red flags. His credentials? Flawless. His demeanor? Polished and professional, with just the right amount of charm—not so much that it feels like he’s trying to butter you up, but just enough that you actually want to keep talking to him.
And his entrance exam? He aces it. Perfectly.
Too perfectly.
There is no way in hell that someone this competent just happens to be looking for a secretary position. You know he’s a spy.
But unlike the human disasters before him, Jamil Viper is actually good at his job.
And if someone is going to try and infiltrate your company, wouldn’t you rather it be someone who at least has the decency to be competent about it?
You lean back in your chair, watching him carefully as he sits across from you, his expression unreadable. You wonder how many layers of deception he’s hiding behind that composed facade.
Slowly, a smile creeps onto your lips.
This could be fun.
Because if Jamil Viper thinks he’s going to outmaneuver you, then clearly, no one has warned him that you love playing with fire.
You slide the contract across the desk, extending your hand.
"Congratulations, Mr. Viper," you say, amusement dancing in your voice. "Welcome to the company."
His fingers are warm when they clasp yours in a firm shake. His gaze, sharp and assessing, lingers for just a second too long.
And just like that, you hire a spy to be your personal assistant.
This is either the smartest or the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.
And honestly? You can’t wait to find out which.
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Jamil has never questioned his assignments before. His role has always been straightforward—he is given a task, he completes it with precision, and he collects his payment. There is no room for personal involvement, no need for unnecessary complications.
This particular job should have been no different. His directive was clear: infiltrate one of the most formidable tech companies in the industry, assume the role of a secretary, gain the CEO’s trust, retrieve the necessary proprietary data, and exit without raising suspicion.
A simple, methodical process. He estimated it would take no more than a month, perhaps two if the CEO proved particularly cautious.
However, the moment he steps into your office, Jamil recognizes that this assignment will not proceed according to the standard operational model.
You are perceptive. That much is clear from the outset. Your interview questions are sharp, carefully constructed to gauge more than just his administrative skills. You are watching him—not just listening, but studying, assessing. There is a calculating glint in your eyes that suggests you have already categorized him in some way, and he does not yet know whether that categorization is in his favor.
Then comes the moment that shifts the trajectory of his expectations entirely.
You lean back in your chair, fingers steepled as you regard him with an almost amused expression. "So, Mr. Viper," you say, voice laced with something close to mischief, "are you a spy?"
The question is absurd in its directness, yet the casual way you pose it makes it clear that you are not expecting a confession—you are testing him. A lesser operative might have faltered, might have hesitated for the fraction of a second that would betray uncertainty. Jamil, however, meets your gaze evenly, offering a measured smile.
"If I were," he replies smoothly, "would I admit it?"
You laugh—not a dismissive scoff, but an actual, entertained laugh, as if you are thoroughly enjoying this game. And that is what makes Jamil's stomach twist slightly. Because he is beginning to suspect that you already know.
The contract slides across the desk, a silent challenge. He watches as you extend your hand, the motion deliberate, expectant.
He has been in the industry long enough to recognize a trap when he sees one. And yet, despite every internal alarm warning him to be cautious, he shakes your hand.
He has taken on countless assignments in his career, but this time is different.
This time, he is not just infiltrating a company. He is stepping into a game.
And for the first time in his life, Jamil wonders if he is the one being played.
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Jamil Viper is, quite frankly, the best thing that has ever happened to you.
You have run this company for years, clawed your way to the top with sheer wit and willpower, and in all that time, you have never known peace. Your life has been a never-ending cycle of fires to put out, idiotic employees making mistakes, and backstabbing business partners who think “compromise” means “stealing your ideas and pretending it was a collaborative effort.”
But then Jamil arrives.
Jamil, with his quiet efficiency and terrifying competence. Jamil, who doesn’t ask you to repeat yourself because he actually listens the first time. Jamil, who doesn’t need reminders because he remembers everything, down to how you like your coffee and which pens mysteriously go missing when your CFO visits.
For the first time in your career, you are leaving work at a reasonable hour.
You actually saw the sunset yesterday. The sunset. Do you know how long it’s been since you’ve seen anything but the dim glow of your office lights at midnight? You don’t. You’re afraid to check.
Your skin? Clear.
Your inbox? Organized.
Your sleep schedule? Still questionable, but at least now it’s due to personal choices and not business emergencies.
You are so overcome with gratitude that you nearly burst into tears when you realize you no longer have to threaten your vendors personally because Jamil handles it all with a few well-placed emails.
He is better than any assistant you have ever had. Possibly better than some of your business partners. Hell, at this rate, you wouldn't be surprised if he could run the company better than you.
Which is exactly why you can’t afford to let him go.
You know why he’s here. You are not naïve. He is undoubtedly a spy, sent to steal your technology, your secrets, your life's work. But the problem is that he is too good. You cannot afford to lose him.
So, you make a decision.
You will convert him to your side.
It’s not just about protecting your company anymore. No, this has become personal. Jamil Viper is yours now. He just doesn’t know it yet.
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The numbers didn’t make sense.
You were good at numbers. Numbers were the only thing in this world that didn’t lie. Numbers were solid, unyielding, completely immune to human deception. And yet.
Your CFO had to be skimming. You’d suspected it for a while—no one bought that many first-class flights for “business conferences” that didn’t exist—but now that you finally had the time to actually dig into the company’s finances, you could feel it in your bones. There was money missing. Not a lot at once, just enough that a lazier CEO wouldn’t notice.
But you noticed. And now, sitting in your dark office, practically feral with frustration, you were going to find it.
Jamil peeks into your office, and you see his brows furrow in irritation. He steps inside without invitation, eyes flicking to your desk, to the stacks of papers, to you, hunched over and pulling at your hair like a mad scientist on the brink of discovery.
“…Why are you still here?” His voice is level, but you detect the judgment beneath it. “I made sure your schedule was clear. You should have been home by five.”
You make a vague, distressed sound—somewhere between a whimper and the dying gasp of an overworked CEO. “I have a mouse to hunt,” you say, still frantically flipping through documents. “A very cunning mouse.”
Jamil, to his credit, does not roll his eyes. He does, however, step forward and pluck the file from your grasp before you can protest. His sharp eyes scan the pages, his fingers flipping through them with practiced ease.
You watch as his expression shifts into something thoughtful, his lips pursing slightly, his brows furrowing in deep concentration. You can see his mind working.
Jamil is infuriatingly intelligent. He always has been. You knew it the moment he walked into your office for his interview and answered every question with precision so perfect it was almost suspicious.
But this—this is something else. His eyes flick from one line to another, scanning, calculating, searching.
And then it hits you.
His hair.
His stupidly perfect, annoyingly silky, meticulously styled hair.
The way it’s always just slightly different every day. Some days it’s neater, tied back with care. Some days it’s looser, like he didn’t have time to properly tame it. Some days it’s so perfect it looks effortless, which means it probably took him ages to get it like that.
Your brain connects the dots.
Your CFO’s expenses had fluctuations that made no sense at first glance. But what if—what if the embezzlement wasn’t consistent? What if he only siphoned money on certain days—days when he needed to make the numbers look normal, like a fluctuation in operational costs?
Like how Jamil’s hair was slightly different depending on how rushed he was in the morning.
Your eyes widen. You grab Jamil’s arm.
“It’s the payroll processing days,” you say, the revelation clicking together. “The numbers don’t match on payroll weeks because he’s hiding them within the irregular adjustments! He’s only stealing when payroll is being processed because that’s when the accounts fluctuate naturally.”
Jamil blinks, then looks back at the files, and you see it—the exact moment he finds the irregularity, the way his eyes sharpen, the way the corner of his lips twitch in mild irritation.
“…Huh,” he says, flipping back to double-check.
You beam at him. “Jamil, I could kiss you.”
He does not react, but his ears turn slightly red. He hands the file back. “Don’t. Just fire your CFO.”
“Oh, I will.” You grin, stretching your arms behind your head. “And then I’m going to have so much fun ruining his career.”
Jamil gives you a look. You pretend not to see it.
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Jamil has worked for a lot of powerful people before. He’s seen how they act—detached, ruthless, calculating. People who don’t say thank you unless there’s an audience, people who treat loyalty as a transaction rather than a virtue, people who see their employees as numbers on a spreadsheet rather than human beings.
And then there’s you.
You, who smile at every single employee as if they’re the most interesting person in the world.
You, who face betrayals with an easy grin, as if it’s just another puzzle to solve.
You, who refuse to be jaded, as if the sheer weight of your responsibilities isn’t trying to crush you every single day.
Jamil has worked as a secretary before, long enough to know that this is not normal. It’s not normal for a CEO to approve leave requests without question, to cover all medical expenses without a fight, to sit down at the employee cafeteria and listen to people’s grievances like a normal person.
It’s definitely not normal for you to turn to him at the end of a long, grueling day—after uncovering a massive embezzlement scandal in your own company—and say, “Let’s get dinner. My treat.”
Jamil expects a high-end restaurant. The kind of place where the portions are offensively small, the food is questionably pretentious, and the bill alone could sustain an entire household for a month. The kind of place where people like you—people with power, people with money—go to flaunt their superiority.
Instead, you take him to a tiny, hole-in-the-wall restaurant run by an elderly couple who clearly know you on a first-name basis.
“Ah, welcome back!” the old woman greets you warmly, eyes flicking to Jamil with curiosity. “And who’s this? A date?”
Jamil chokes on air.
You laugh—loudly—and wave off the comment. “Nah, just my secretary! He helped me catch a mouse today.”
Jamil doesn’t bother correcting you.
The menu is scrawled in barely legible handwriting on a whiteboard near the counter. You order the greasiest, most artery-clogging meal he’s ever seen in his life. Jamil orders something safer, something that won’t take five years off his lifespan.
When the food arrives, you practically vibrate in your seat, taking a bite with the enthusiasm of a child eating their first piece of candy.
Jamil stares at you in mild horror. “You eat this every day?”
You grin, already halfway through your meal. “Yeah.”
Jamil doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
But he eats. He eats, and he listens to you ramble about ridiculous workplace rumors, and he watches you laugh so hard you snort when you make a terrible joke.
And somewhere in the middle of all that, Jamil finds himself laughing too.
Not because your joke is funny—because it isn’t. It’s awful, actually.
But maybe because your eyes shine too brightly in the dim light.
Maybe because you seem so human right now, so painfully, vividly human.
Maybe because he knows he’ll have to leave you behind soon, and yet here he is, eating unhealthy food and smiling at you.
Jamil has never questioned his jobs before. He gets paid, he gets the work done. Simple.
So why does it feel so different this time?
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Jamil has worked for some eccentric people before. Billionaires with more money than sense, CEOs who thought meditation on top of a glass skyscraper would give them divine insight, a director who once insisted that his morning coffee had to be stirred exactly 72 times counterclockwise or the stock market would crash. He’s seen it all. Or so he thought.
And then there was you.
You were a genius, of course. No one could deny that. You had single-handedly revolutionized an entire industry and kept your technology locked down so tightly that even the best corporate spies had walked away empty-handed.
But you were also—how to put this nicely?—completely, utterly unhinged. Eccentric was too mild a word. You were like a mad scientist and a particularly stubborn golden retriever had been fused together in a tragic yet strangely effective laboratory accident.
Jamil has had a front-row seat to your absurdity for months now, but today? Today takes the cake.
He enters the office expecting chaos, but he still isn't prepared to see a bouncy castle taking up the center of the room. It is massive. Garish. A primary-colored monstrosity that clashes violently with the sleek, modern aesthetic of your office. It is also, for some reason, fully inflated.
Jamil watches as you bounce in deep concentration, your tie undone, your shoes discarded somewhere in the corner. Your movements are precise, like each jump is a carefully calibrated equation.
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Dare I ask?”
You pause mid-bounce, floating for a second in the air like some kind of enlightened acrobat before landing gracefully and turning to him with a grin. “I needed to think.”
“…So naturally, you brought a bouncy castle.”
“Of course.” You wave a hand, as if this should be obvious. “Sometimes, when my brain gets stuck, I just need a little kinetic stimulation. You know, shake up the neurons.” You jump again, flailing slightly before catching yourself. “It’s like—have you ever had a word on the tip of your tongue, and then you do something completely different and suddenly it comes to you? Same concept. Except instead of drinking water or taking a walk, I jump on an inflatable castle like a responsible adult.”
Jamil stares. His headache is already forming. “You’re going to break your neck.”
“Nope! Tested the weight limits. We’re good.” You bounce again, then stop abruptly, eyes widening. Your entire posture shifts, shoulders straightening, expression sharpening. You scramble off the castle, grab a nearby notebook, and start writing furiously.
Jamil watches, baffled, as you tear through an entire page with equations and diagrams, the kind of thing that would take a normal person weeks to conceptualize. And then you stop, beaming like a kid who just cracked open a piñata full of gold.
“I GOT IT,” you declare, spinning the notebook around as if Jamil has the clearance—or the desire—to understand whatever ridiculous breakthrough you just had. “This is going to make everything ten times more efficient! Jamil, this is genius.”
Jamil, who has not slept properly in three days because of this mission, who has already accepted that this job is going to either kill him or make him reconsider every life decision he has ever made, just sighs. “Great. So was the bouncy castle necessary?”
You turn back to him, eyes bright, smile wider than he’s ever seen. “Absolutely.”
And the worst part? The part that truly makes him question if he’s losing his mind?
He almost believes you.
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Meetings like this made you wonder if you could get away with legally replacing the entire board with three possums in a trench coat. These relics in overpriced suits had two working brain cells between them, and one was currently occupied with nursing last night’s hangover.
They thought that their decades of mismanaging money somehow gave them wisdom. You would almost find it impressive, the way they clung to their illusion of relevance, if it weren’t so unbearably tedious.
You could fire them all, of course. You could clear this room in five minutes, clean house with a snap of your fingers, but you had held back out of sheer pity. They were close to retirement—one foot in the grave and the other on a luxury cruise.
Let them ride out their last few years clutching their outdated business strategies and egos. It wasn’t like they actually did anything.
But today? Today, you were at your limit.
Jamil was standing behind you, stone-faced, but you could tell he wanted to be anywhere else. His exhaustion mirrored your own. You’d been sitting here for an hour while they droned on about numbers they clearly didn’t understand.
Internally, you begged for something—anything—to spontaneously combust just so you’d have an excuse to leave. A small fire? A sudden, mysterious blackout? A divine intervention from the heavens themselves?
And then, as if the universe had heard you and decided to throw you a different kind of entertainment, one of them made a mistake. A grave mistake.
“—not that it matters to someone like you,” one of the old fossils sneered, voice soaked in condescension. “You just sit there and look pretty. Maybe that’s why you keep your secretary around—eye candy to brighten your day, hm?”
Silence.
Jamil felt the shift before he saw it. The room, which had been filled with the usual underhanded comments and the shuffling of papers, went utterly still. The air thickened, tension snapping tight like a bowstring.
You moved, slow and deliberate, sitting up from your languid position and resting your elbows on the table. Then, with a sharp crack that echoed through the room, you slammed your hand against the polished wood. Jamil was pretty sure he saw the surface splinter.
And then, you smiled.
“Say,” you said, your voice honey-sweet, “how’s your son’s wedding prep going?”
The man blinked, startled by the sudden shift in topic. “Uh—fine?”
“That’s wonderful.” You laced your fingers together, tilting your head like a benevolent ruler addressing a particularly stupid peasant. “I hope he has a strong savings account. And you, too, for that matter.”
His confusion deepened. “Why would—?”
“Because as of right now, every single one of you is fired.”
The silence that followed was deafening.
You stood, straightening your sleeves, your expression as calm as if you’d just commented on the weather. The rest of the board gaped at you, struggling to process what had just happened.
“Pack your things,” you continued, tone still sickeningly pleasant. “Security will escort you out. Your pensions will remain untouched—I’m not a monster—but your presence is no longer required. Effective immediately.”
Then, without waiting for a response, you turned on your heel and strolled out of the room.
Jamil took a moment to savor the stunned expressions, the way the old man who had made the comment looked like he was trying to compute his own downfall in real time. He had seen you be cunning, eccentric, absurd, even, but this was the first time he had seen you wield your power properly. It was—
Well.
He wasn’t about to admit it was impressive.
Or flattering.
Not even as he followed you out the door, suppressing the smallest, most insufferable urge to smile.
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You’re good at reading people. That’s what makes you such a good CEO. You can tell when a business partner is about to backstab you. You can spot a bad deal from a mile away. You figured out your CFO was embezzling money based on a hunch and a particularly sleepless night.
So why the hell can’t you figure out what’s going on with Jamil right now?
Your day is over. Your work is done. You’re walking out of the building, feeling suspiciously well-rested for once, because Jamil is the best damn secretary you’ve ever had.
And there he is.
Standing near the exit, very much still here, despite having clocked out hours ago.
You stop. Blink. “Jamil? What are you doing here?”
He startles like you caught him committing a felony.
Which, honestly, makes you even more confused.
Jamil is the picture of composure in any situation. He could talk his way out of a hostage negotiation, probably. He could charm a boardroom full of old, corporate sharks into agreeing with his terms.
And yet, right now, he looks like he wants to evaporate.
You tilt your head. “What’s up? You good?”
Jamil scowls like you’ve offended his ancestors. And then, without meeting your gaze, he thrusts a box at you.
"Eat properly," he grumbles. "Heaven knows you can afford it."
And then he turns on his heel and almost sprints out of the building.
You stare at his retreating figure. Then you stare at the box in your hands.
What just happened.
You consider yourself a genius. You built an empire with your own two hands. You have patents worth billions. You have business rivals who would kill to know what goes on in your head.
And yet, this one interaction has you completely, utterly lost.
It’s only when you get home that you actually open the box.
Inside is a clearly homemade meal. Balanced, nutritious, and suspiciously catered to your exact tastes.
You crouch down. Laugh a little.
And then you pull out your phone.
You: thank you <3
Meanwhile, In Jamil’s car:
He hears the message notification. Opens it. Sees your text.
And immediately slams his forehead into the steering wheel.
The honk that follows is so obnoxiously loud that a street cat outside lets out an ungodly scream and scrambles away like it just witnessed a murder.
Jamil exhales sharply. He grips the wheel like it personally wronged him.
You’re going to be the death of him.
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Jamil does not get sick.
It is a fact as ironclad as his ability to keep a secret, as certain as the sun rising in the east and setting behind your ridiculous office where you concoct new ways to stress him out.
Jamil does not get sick because sickness is a weakness—an opening in his otherwise airtight, bulletproof existence.
And yet.
Here he is.
Dying. Absolutely, irredeemably, spectacularly dying.
His body betrays him completely, weighed down by a fever that could probably fry an egg on his forehead. Every muscle aches as if he has been tossed into a meat grinder, his throat is raw, and his head is a battlefield of pain and regret.
He barely manages to lift his phone and call you, the only person who needs to know why he’s breaking protocol and skipping work for the first time in his entire life.
The phone rings. Once. Twice.
And then—
“Jamil! What’s up?”
Too loud. Why are you always so loud? He winces, nearly drops his phone on his face.
“I… I can’t come in today.” His voice is hoarse, unrecognizable. Disgusting. He clears his throat, which only makes it worse. “I’m sick.”
There is a long, stunned silence.
Then, very, very slowly—
“You’re what?”
Jamil closes his eyes. He does not have the strength for this conversation.
“Sick,” he repeats, barely suppressing the urge to just fade out of existence right then and there.
Another pause. Then, in a tone that is so soft he almost doesn’t recognize it coming from you—
“…Oh.”
Something about the way you say it makes his stomach twist—though that could also be the fever.
“Take care of yourself, okay?” you say, genuinely concerned. “Rest, drink water, and if you need anything—”
He does not hear the rest.
Because he blacks out.
Jamil is sick.
Jamil, your unshakable, hyper-competent, borderline immortal assistant—the man who somehow pulls miracles out of thin air while looking vaguely unimpressed—is sick.
You expected betrayals, corporate espionage, elaborate counter-strategies in your ongoing war to get him on your side.
You did not expect this.
And worse—he sounded awful.
Not just tired. Not just mildly inconvenienced.
You sit at your desk for approximately three minutes, trying to convince yourself that it’s fine, that Jamil is a grown man who can take care of himself.
Then you Google “how to care for a sick employee” and make the deeply logical decision to immediately drop everything and go check on him yourself.
Which is how you end up outside his apartment, ringing the doorbell like a maniac.
There is no response.
You ring again. And again.
Nothing.
A small, horrible thought creeps in. What if he passed out? What if he hit his head? What if he—
Just as you're about to kick down the door in a move that would absolutely get you arrested, it creaks open.
And Jamil is standing there.
Barely.
He looks terrible.
His usual sharp, careful composure? Gone. His hair is an absolute wreck, his eyes are dazed, and his entire body is actively betraying him by swaying on his feet like a tragic willow in a storm.
You are horrified.
“Oh my god,” you whisper, stepping forward before he can literally collapse. “Jamil, you look—”
Like death. Like the very concept of suffering incarnate.
But you do not say this out loud, because you are a good person.
Instead, you step into his space and grab him before he keels over.
“You’re burning up,” you mutter, steadying him. “When was the last time you ate?”
Jamil blinks at you very slowly, like his brain is buffering at dial-up speeds.
“…Food?”
That is not an answer.
You curse under your breath and haul him back inside, which is a feat of great strength because he is all lean muscle and fever deadweight.
How did this happen? Why did this happen? Who let this happen?
Oh. Right. Him.
Jamil is going to die.
Not from the fever, no. That would be merciful.
He is going to die from sheer embarrassment because you—his boss, his greatest headache, his most infuriating problem—are here, in his apartment, fussing over him like some kind of divine punishment.
He barely registers you pulling out a thermometer and shoving it into his mouth with all the grace of someone who has never done this before.
The numbers blink back at you ominously.
“You’re burning up,” you mutter. “Okay, I’m ordering soup. And you are not moving until you eat something.”
Jamil tries to protest. He does.
But then you press a cool towel against his forehead, and—
Oh.
Oh, that is nice.
His body betrays him once again by relaxing into your touch.
By the time the soup arrives, he is too weak to even lift the spoon properly.
So you—without hesitation, without a single ounce of normal human shame—just feed him.
Like a child.
Like he is some helpless, pathetic creature.
Which, okay, maybe right now, he is.
But still. This is humiliating.
It is also the best soup he has ever had in his life.
Jamil finally falls back asleep.
And you sit there, staring at his peaceful, fever-flushed face, wondering how the hell this became your life.
You were supposed to be running a company, not playing nurse to your best-paid spy.
You should not care this much.
And yet.
You check his temperature again. Still high, but better.
You sigh, raking a hand through your hair, and grab your phone.
“Okay,” you mutter into the receiver, pacing the room. “But what do I do if he wakes up and refuses to rest?”
A pause.
Your voice drops, quieter. “Yeah, I know. I just don’t want him to push himself again.”
Behind you, Jamil shifts.
You do not notice.
But he notices you.
Your hair is mussed, your usual sharp, teasing grin replaced with something softer.
You look worried. For him.
Jamil stares, something twisting in his chest.
Oh.
Oh, he is so incredibly doomed.
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You always knew Jamil was a spy. That much was obvious.
The way he answered every question perfectly in his interview? Suspicious.
The way he executed his tasks with military precision? Suspicious.
The way he didn’t try to subtly flirt with you or brown-nose like all the other incompetent spies before him? Extremely suspicious.
But he was competent. So stupidly, ridiculously competent. And you’d rather keep an enemy that made your life easier than deal with another incompetent fool.
Besides, you like playing with fire. So you decided to see how far you could push him.
So tonight, you left your office unlocked. Oh no. What a terrible mistake. If only someone didn’t sneak in and steal your files.
And to make things more interesting, you left some semi-important files open on your computer. Documents that looked serious enough to be tempting but wouldn’t actually do much damage if leaked.
Right before you left, you made sure to sigh dramatically in front of Jamil and say, “Ugh, these files have been keeping me up at night. I sure hope they don’t get leaked or anything.”
Then, you went to your surveillance setup, made yourself some popcorn, and watched.
Because of course Jamil was going to take the bait.
And sure enough, there he was.
You watch as he sits down at your desk. Silent. Focused. The very picture of efficiency.
You lean forward as he navigates to the files. Click. Click. Scroll. His fingers hover over the copy button.
And then—
He just… stops.
Your eyebrows shoot up. Oh?
Jamil stares at the screen like it personally insulted his honor. His fingers twitch over the keyboard, hesitating.
Your interest piques. He should’ve copied them by now. He’s supposed to be a professional, isn’t he?
He clicks out of the important files.
Your jaw nearly drops. What.
He clicks out. He clicks out. He actively chooses not to take anything of worth.
Instead, you watch as he scrolls past all the confidential reports—
—bypasses all the juicy, corporate secrets—
—ignores all the schematics—
—and copies a single folder labeled “raccoons_for_a_rainy_day.zip.”
You almost choke on your popcorn.
Jamil pauses. Stares at the screen for a long, long moment.
Then, as if committing a terrible crime, he ejects the USB, tucks it away, and swiftly leaves your office.
You sit there, stunned.
Because out of everything in your company’s database, out of all the valuable information he could’ve stolen—
He took your emergency raccoon meme collection.
You blink. Once. Twice.
And then, slowly, a grin spreads across your face.
Oh. Oh, this is delightful.
You knew you were converting him to your side, but this? This is proof.
Jamil, the competent, efficient, dangerously intelligent spy, had a perfect chance to complete his mission. And instead of betraying you, he chose to betray his employer instead.
For you.
How flattering.
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You had dealt with a lot of strange things in your life. A lot. But this? This was definitely one of the stupidest.
Your old secretary—the one who took a bribe and fled like a rat from a sinking ship—was currently sitting in front of you, begging for her job back. Why? Who the hell knew. You had been certain that the bribe she took would have lasted her a few years, maybe even bought her a cute little vacation somewhere far away, but apparently, money couldn’t buy wisdom. Or, in her case, common sense.
You leaned back in your chair, fingers steepled together, watching her ramble through increasingly desperate justifications. I’ve changed. I’ve grown. I’ve learned from my mistakes. You doubted it.
Jamil stood beside you, completely unreadable, but you knew him well enough by now to recognize the signs of his barely contained fury. His shoulders were stiff, his posture rigid, and—most damning of all—his fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles had turned white.
Oh, interesting.
Obviously, you weren’t rehiring her. She wasn’t even ten percent as competent as Jamil, and unlike her, Jamil wasn’t stupid enough to take a bribe when you were the one offering him far more than money. But this? This was a perfect opportunity to test something.
So you sighed, long and dramatic, before rubbing your temples as if this decision physically pained you. “I’ll consider it,” you said finally. “I’ll call you back once I’ve made my decision.”
Her face lit up, all eager gratitude, and she left the office with a bounce in her step.
The moment the door clicked shut behind her, you stood, intending to grab a file from your cabinet—but you didn’t get far.
Because Jamil blocked your path.
You blinked at him, more amused than anything, but your amusement flickered into something softer when you saw his face.
He looked wrecked.
Not in an angry way, not even in a controlled, simmering fury. No—this was something else entirely. His eyes searched yours like he was trying to find some sort of answer, his breath slightly uneven, his expression utterly betrayed. He looked like you had punched him in the gut.
You had seen Jamil irritated, seen him exasperated, seen him indulge in rare moments of smugness when his plans went exactly as intended. But this? This raw emotion spilling out of him like a dam breaking—this was new. And you couldn’t stop the way your heartbeat stuttered at the sight.
“Why?” His voice came out hoarse, like he barely trusted himself to speak. “Why would you… Why would you even consider hiring her back?”
You tilted your head, keeping your voice light. “Why does it bother you so much?”
Jamil’s mouth opened—then snapped shut. You could practically see his thoughts racing, running too fast for him to catch up, but something cracked inside of him, because once he started speaking, he couldn’t stop.
“Did I mess up?” he demanded, voice sharper than he probably intended. “Was I not good enough? Did I do something wrong? Why would you—” He cut himself off, exhaling shakily, his hands twitching at his sides like he desperately wanted to reach for you. “You know she isn’t competent. You know she isn’t better than me.”
You hummed, tilting your head in faux thoughtfulness. “Of course, I’ll give you a different position,” you mused. “No need to worry about job security.”
Jamil broke.
Before you could even register the movement, he grabbed you.
His hands found your face, his fingers curling against your skin like he needed to ground himself, like he needed to prove something—and then, he kissed you.
It wasn’t careful. It wasn’t polite. It was desperate, burning with frustration and something deeper, something so much more vulnerable than you had ever expected from him.
And then, hypothesis proven, you kissed him back.
For a moment, you simply blinked.
Jamil pulls away like he just touched something scalding, his breath uneven, his eyes wide with something close to terror. You watch as realization sets in—his own actions hitting him all at once, like a dam finally bursting and drowning him in the consequences of his own emotions.
“I—” His voice is hoarse, almost shaky, but he’s trying to regain control, trying to salvage something, anything. “I’m not who you think I am.” He says it like a confession, like a last-ditch effort to make you see reason, to make you step back and realize that you shouldn’t want him, that you shouldn’t choose him. “I was hired to—”
“My dear, sweet spy,” you interrupt, voice dripping with amused affection, “won’t you be mine?”
Jamil freezes.
You can see the exact second it dawns on him. The way his expression shifts from confused horror to pure, unfiltered disbelief. You knew. You always knew. Of course you did. He should’ve realized it sooner. You were too sharp, too perceptive, too you to have been in the dark about something so crucial.
And yet, here you were. Choosing him anyway.
His lips twitch. His shoulders shake. And then, he laughs.
Not a small chuckle, not a bitter scoff, but a real laugh, something rare and unguarded, something so genuinely light that it catches even him off guard. He laughs so hard that he nearly doubles over, his forehead dropping against yours as he exhales shakily, trying to regain some semblance of composure.
You feel his breath ghost against your skin, feel the warmth of him so close, and yet, there is no hesitation anymore, no careful, measured distance.
He shakes his head, still breathless from laughing, and when he finally meets your gaze, his expression is something unreadable, something painfully soft.
And this time, when he kisses you, there’s no fear left.
“…Fine,” he murmurs, his voice quieter now, more vulnerable than you’ve ever heard it. “I’m yours.”
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You wake up to the warmth of an arm draped over your waist, the steady rise and fall of a familiar chest behind you. It’s a rare thing—to wake before Jamil. He’s always been the early riser between you, slipping out of bed before the sun has even had the chance to settle into the sky. But today, for the first time in two years, you’re the one watching him sleep.
Two years since his terrified confession. Two years since you pulled him into the kind of love neither of you had ever expected to find. Two years of whispered promises, stolen kisses, and a loyalty that runs deeper than any mission, deeper than any past betrayal.
The early morning light filters in through the curtains, soft and golden, catching on the matching rings on your fingers. A quiet proof of what you’ve built together. The sight makes something tender settle in your chest, and you press a kiss to his forehead, gentle and lingering.
Jamil stirs, brow furrowing for just a moment before he instinctively pulls you closer, his grip tightening around your waist. He buries his face into the crook of your neck, voice thick with sleep as he murmurs, “Why’re you awake so early…?”
You smile, carding your fingers through his hair as you whisper, “Go back to sleep.”
And as the warmth of him lulls you back into slumber, a thought drifts lazily through your mind—
"You sleep too," he grumbles, but it’s lazy, half-hearted. You can already feel his breath evening out, his body relaxing against yours once more. You keep stroking his hair, slow and rhythmic, feeling the last bits of tension melt from his frame.
Maybe playing with fire was the smartest move you ever made.
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Masterlist
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ohcorny · 4 months ago
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Oh actually I do have a followup if it hasn't been asked, what went into the pitch packet? Did you end up making like a slide deck for it as well? Were there any other comic pages or was it kind of more exploratory? How finished would you say it was? I'm always interested in the back-end kind of stuff where it's in-between concept and production
is slide deck what we're calling powerpoint presentations now. am i so out of touch. anyway no i never made anything like that. what my agent submitted to publishers was a full outline of the planned story, and a sample of 14 finished pages from the beginning of the book, and her own pitch for what makes it so great that they have to give me money to make it.
what i submitted to my agent (after she saw 4 pages on twitter during a pitching event and expressed interest) was 9 pages and a complete outline. the extra 5 we sent to publishers were at her suggestion after we'd workshopped a little bit.
the pages were always completely finished, and them being the opening of the story was always stressed to me as What You Do, rather than, as you might imagine, a vertical slice of one of the cool moments. publishers want to know you can hook someone in, i suppose.
anyway here, have the original pitch pages of hunger's bite. the pacing and tone of the story changed a fair bit between these and the final version, but there's a few ideas that remained. i believe the pages before "and so say all of us" were completed in 2020-21, and the deck scene was done half a year or so later at my agent's request. i sure am glad i got better at coloring than this. can you imagine trying to print those purples and oranges.
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bittscollege · 5 months ago
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ruinix · 4 months ago
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quinn with glasses gives off teaching assistant in a requirement comp sci class and his workshops are actually where students learn bc the prof sucks and he’s doing all the work beyond grading basically and is stressed af in all timelines no matter what profession hockey or not lol
OH MY GOD. He is definitely giving of an extremely competent and overworked TA. Thank you for all your workshops, TA Quinn Hughes.
Life of an Assistant
TA!Quinn thoughts. It's just Quinn (not Q x Reader).⬇️
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We just know he got a comprehensive handouts/supplementary materials for every topic. He even has a video that he uploaded on YT in a private playlist for the students.
He definitely got his emails open 24/7—totally fucking up his personal time—because he wants to help out the students who are suffering from the good-for-nothing prof. He never minds the students emails, but hell, if that stupid prof emails him to prepare another PowerPoint presentation, he will crash out. For a minute. Maybe for a full fucking hour.
He probably drinks heavily on the weekends. Just him sitting on the bar counter, ordering one shot after one another, and pondering his life. Making plans to be the prof after he finishes his graduate studies. When he receives an email asking for help while he's out, he is ordering a harder liquor, before diligently answering in perfect grammar like he isn't drunk. Not a single typo on sight.
If he's not out, he is drowning himself in coffee. Mug after mug. Hands shaking from the caffeine. Head aching when he doesn't have his fifth cup. His hand will ache from every paper he grades. His eyes would burn from hours of looking at his laptop screen for every submission, while he also does his own course load.
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He is definitely the overworked. Dehydrated. Emotionally and physically dying. Poor lil Quintin. We must kiss him.
-> more thoughts? List. Want to be notified? Join my taglist!
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dashcon-two · 6 months ago
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An Important Notice for Panel and Vendor Applications!
We’re very excited for Panel Applications to open tomorrow, and wanted to share some more information about the application process! 
Panel applications open February 10th, 9 am EST, and will close February 15th, 9 pm EST. Shortlisted panellists will be contacted to arrange an interview and discuss further details at a later time. Shortlisting is not a guarantee that you will run a panel. 
For those unaware, panels kinda like convention breakout rooms. They’re typically lecture-style presentations to a small audience of guests! Think ‘powerpoint night where I yap about my hyperfixation’ but on a larger scale, with topics ranging from professional artists giving advice, to in-depth breakdowns of specific media. There’s a lot of diversity, and panels can take forms beyond what we’ve outlined: a trivia show, an art trade, a skill-building workshop, et cetera. We’re open to all your wildest and whackiest ideas!
Initial applications are pretty basic: all you need is a description. Tell us about your panel idea in 1-2 paragraphs at most, and how long you’ll need to run it. A maximum of 7 people are permitted to panel together, but 1-2 people are standard. Applicants may discuss their qualifications or attach a partial or completed slideshow to their application, but these are both optional. 
Our guidelines for panel content are available on the Panel Applications of our website. All panelists will also have to follow our Convention Policies. Please know that DashCon 2 will not permit 18+/Adult content to be discussed or presented during panels. Any violation of these rules will result in the immediate cancellation of a panel, and the offending panelist’s pass being revoked. 
Panelists will not have to pay for a convention pass, but we encourage all applicants to purchase tickets on February 22nd as we cannot guarantee spots in advance. Panelists who have purchased a ticket will be offered a refund. Unfortunately, DashCon 2 cannot refund the processing fees taken by Simpli Events nor those of their transaction processing service Stripe. We do not offer compensation for travel or other expenses occurred as a result of volunteering for DashCon 2. 
Since panellists are considered volunteers, they are free to explore the convention outside the bounds of their panel. However, panellists are expected to have signed in and to be on-call 30 minutes before and after their scheduled panel time. Panellists who do not check in before or show up to their panel will have their pass revoked.
Vendor Applications Will Close Soon!
This a reminder that Vendor applications are still open!! Thank you to everyone who applied to be a vendor, we’re really excited to host so many incredible artists. We’ve decided to close applications on Wednesday, February 12th at 9PM EST. We will be contacting successful applicants before the 22nd, so others will still have the option to buy tickets!
As always, you can find more at www.dashcontwo.com, or subscribe to our mailing list over on substack!
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rueclfer · 6 months ago
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Touya is always in the workshop. Always.
It's not uncommon to find him sleeping hunched up against a workbench.
He works best at three in the morning, which means he's constantly getting into arguments with his classmates over tools and equipment because he never puts anything back and they constantly have to snatch stuff from his work desk
He can and will throw a fit if you have to get your gear repaired by someone else "I'm right here!" Type of vibes
Touya is a shameless flirter who only knows how to use pick up lines and cheesy compliments he is a dork inside and that will never change
He's terrible with technology. It's kind of hilarious. Like when you catch him yelling at a hologram screen because it's refusing to do what he wants. Don't even get me started on his inability to make a decent PowerPoint. It's just those shitty preset themes and a bunch of word vomit or a bunch of pics no in between
He does have a inferiority complex low-key because you're everything he wanted to be
He's a caffeine fiend and you're pretty sure he runs on coffee, energy drinks, and spite the school is funded personally by his money in the vending machines
It's not uncommon for him to pull all-nighters, then go to class without taking a single break
All bets are off when he hits that "I've been awake for thirty plus hours" sweet spot he's having heart palpitations smelling colors but holy shit he just had the best idea on a support item and then he crashes and forgets it all by time he wakes up
And don't expect any sympathy when he gets sick. Seriously, he complains more than a hormonal fourteen year old. hell drag himself to the workshop and whine the whole time but fight tooth and nail if anyone tries to drag him out
Keigo bothers him shamelessly strutting into the workshop and leaning on the desk accidentally hitting something off the desk with his wings and Touya strangles him before a teacher gets involved
Rei couldn't be prouder and comes to all his events and he tries to be nonchalant about it but he's bouncing up and down
Always ALWAYS has oil under his nails and some sort of grease on him
And to finish it off Touya in a white tank top 🤤🎃
FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
if nothign gets me through this 8 hour shift just know that this^ will
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bedlamsbard · 5 months ago
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so I'm putting together this powerpoint for a writing workshop tomorrow and powerpoint designer is giving me, uh. options.
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SET
READ
BE
MAKE
KILL
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