#putting him in a glue trap immediately

[harrenhalyuri]

Ok tonight's last marzipost I don't have the screenshot on hand rn but during the first feast when he's lost in bloodlust and he comes up real close to the RT and leans in to say "are you pleased with me 🥺" that part just kills me a thousand times

[moth--blood]

Tino screencaps but its my design and he's SO stupid<3

[micksture]

🦉 STOLAS REDESIGN 🌓

oh where do i even START. there is no metric or scale on this world that can adequately measure the sheer velocity of my eyeballs rolling into the back of my skull in contempt whenever Stolass the cringe ass nae nae baby comes on screen during the already painful watch of Helluva Boss. this goddamn piździelec is the bane of my existence. not only is he my least favorite Helluva Boss character, but my least favorite Hellaverse character in general. the narrative treats this pompous chicken drumstick as if he has the right to act like the victim, when all he’s ever done is put Blitzø in uncomfortable situations where Blitzø had to have sex with him to obtain the Grimoire, knowing full well that Blitz needed it to keep his business running. AND he keeps on neglecting Octavia, his DAUGHTER, to continue being weird towards/about Blitz. now, that in itself DOES make him an interesting character, but the problem is in the way he’s shown to us – as someone to be pitied. why is he treated like a good guy in the show, i will never understand. nerf the whiny bird and quit justifying his actions before I draw him stuck in a glue trap hitting the Peter Griffin death pose 🌞

Letting up on that hate-filled rant, let’s talk business!! Stolas is a self-centered manipulator with a victim complex that is blind to other people’s feelings in my rework. He blames everyone but himself for his actions and despises when things don’t go his way. In his eyes, it’s all Stella’s fault that he turned into a cheater (as if she wasn’t also forced into their loveless marriage like he was…). He was distant and cold from the start, and when Stella stopped trying to make their relationship work and quit taking his bullshit, he became even worse. His daughter isn’t exempt from his coldness either. As much as he swears up and down that he loves her, he still silently views Octavia as a nuisance, an obstacle that is firmly placed in the way of true freedom and peace that he could have been living, if not for his obligation to raise an heir. He feels entitled to being the way he is, since he’s never been treated all that well by life either. He very clearly feels trapped, but that doesn’t erase all of his faults.

I do like the idea of Stolas being a villain. A multifaceted character that has been wronged, but a villain nonetheless. And he is treated like one! He would NOT be the main focus of the show, however — the lights would be on I.M.P. tbh I’d rather go for a more episodic approach to the story, where each episode is about a different client of I.M.P. and we get to see the main characters actually doing their jobs as paid assassins and facing some wacky setbacks they have to overcome, rather than seeing the constant back and forth between Blitz and Stolas that the official show seems to revolve around now. So yes, Stolas wouldn’t be featured nearly as often! In fact, I feel like he’d usually get the most screentime in the heavy episodes: for example ones that would tackle his relationship with Blitz, or ones that would showcase his immediate family and how they all pretty much hate each other.

Now onto the design!! In all honesty, I don’t mind his official one, but I couldn’t help myself from hitting him with the redesigning-beam too. POW 💥

• He has gained quite a bit of feathers, especially around the neck. Also, instead of the weird hat-crown (???) with eyes situation he has in the official design, I just gave him a floating crown with one eye AND plumicorns – the ear-like feathers that owls commonly possess!

• I kept the astrology theme because it’s AWESOME. Every high ranking member of the Ars Goetia family has a different set of chores that they do to ‘regulate’ Hell. Stolas is the one in charge of the night sky in every Ring!! He studies galaxies, constellations and asteroids, among other things cosmos-related. he can also create galactic matter at will, hence the two nebula orbs he’s holding and the galaxy cape 🌌 (fun fact: you can phase your hand through his cape and it’ll be covered in star dust!)

• His cape is fastened with an Asmodean crystal. Why is that important? Well, an Asmodean crystal can work as an inter-dimensional transportation device just as well as the Grimoire. He knows what that kind of crystal looks like. Blitzø does not (Asmodean crystals are anything but obtainable for the common demons. Most have no idea what they look like). Also, Stolas has a lot of those crystals stored in the castle, thrown around forgotten chests and left unused. See where I’m going with this? Stolas purposefully retains this information and tells Blitz that he only has the Grimoire to spare, for which Blitz has to go to bed with him each month (as their agreement states), when he could’ve given Blitz one Asmodean crystal and part ways with him long ago. But he’s too selfish to let go of the imaginary relationship he created and continues the same cycle that leaves both of them more and more divided.

I think that’s it for now. This post is long enough as it is. Thank you for reading it though <3

[wormswurld]

| artrick as wrestlers 🤼 | blurb turned accidental oneshot (?) | 1.4k words | mwah! 🌟 |

art is the new kid to the team and everyone (including patrick) underestimates him.. one time patrick watches art absolutely lay out a guy twice his size and has an “oh shit this guy is actually good moment” but he lets his superiority complex get in the way and makes it his duty to provoke art so he can wrestle him & prove to his team “hey i’m still the best player!”…

cut to the locker rooms and pat is eyeing the shit out of art, thinking of what he’s gonna say to art to essentially have him “back down” and maybe even quit the team cuz patrick is ‘so’ strong and intimidating… “hey donaldson!” and art just turns around, hair still wet from his shower, towel hanging on his hips, looking as unfazed as everrrr “i know you think you’re hot shit ‘cuz of practice, but you have nothing on me or this team..” and patrick makes the nastiest face he can to try and get his point across, puffing out his chest and widening his stance (looking like an idiot)… and art just sees right through him, making his way over to pat, expressionless face, yet patrick could tell there was something in his eyes.. “you’re no threat to me…” art presses closer to patrick’s face, making sure patrick can feel his warm breath, “zweig..” perfectly pronouncing patrick’s last name (which is a shock and a turn on to him) before forcefully brushing shoulders with him as he grabs his stuff to go get ready in another part of the locker room

now cut to art’s first match with the team and patrick is dreading potentially looking like an idiot in front of his teammates & whole school but all he can do is shake his head trying to rid himself of his thoughts, and in the corner of his eye he sees art staring at him like hawk… okay fuck now patrick is sweating a little because why do you mean this pretty-face piece-of-shit- donaldson is looking at him but all art does is mouth “good luck” before their coach puts his hand on patrick’s shoulder and asks “are you ready to get in there?” and pat just quickly nods as a way of reassuring himself “yeah yeah i was born ready” and the coach just laughs “that’s what i like to hear, now get your ass in there” blah blah blah wrestling stuff blah blah patrick is wrestling some guy, doing a pretty good job to be honest, but the guy he’s s with starts to realize fuck i don’t have a chance of winning so he does some sort of an illegal move (idfk just walk with me) and he immediately gets disqualified…

and patrick’s cocky ass just stands up and starts celebrating like he just won the lottery or some shit but his coach quickly stops him and motions to art on the bench “donaldson, in, boys finish this out” quadruple major fuck cuz patrick is actually going to wrestle art but he can’t let his thoughts take over, let’s not act like a little bitch now… and once the coach says go art is immediately on patrick, pinning him down by his arms, letting all his weight fall onto his legs rendering patrick stuck like a rat in a glue trap… now patrick’s starting to get nervous because he’s supposed to be pinning art down + he can feel art’s dick press into his leg and he really really doesn’t need this right now but he somehow ends up getting art into a headlock for a good couple of seconds…

continuing the headlock patrick and his big mouth does what it does best: shit talk; “what happened blondie, get too scared? gonna give up?” and art just laughs up in patrick’s face as he does some magician shit and has his legs hooked around patrick’s (as if they are scissoring…..sorrrryyyy) and art just smiles, sweat trickling down his shaped nose as he now laughs at patrick, somehow still finding some room/flexibility to get closer to patrick art places his arm above patrick’s shoulder, looking down at the flushed, furrowed browed brunette under him…

at this point patrick feels like he’s in hell because not only is he losing to the new guy, he’s doing it in front of the whole school, while being wildly turned on by the fact he’s being pinned down by said new guy… and god art is all sweaty and he can smell his musk from his armpit which is right by his head, fuck he’s dizzy.. “what happened to being mr. tough guy? didn’t know you enjoyed being pinned down by… such hot shit, isn’t that right pat?” and art sees patrick’s eyes roll back momentarily before he hears their coach shout “time!”… and before patrick knows is art is off of him, leaving him sweaty, panting, and hard in his uniform on the mat.. slowly patrick cranes his head over to see him being awarded a medal and congratulated by their team….

flash forward to the dreaded locker room patrick is showering in the last stall (he can’t bear to see nor hear his teammates congratulate art and hit him with the “better luck next time zweig”) “hey zweig” patrick wants to die. preferably right now. patrick slightly turns to art, continuing to wash his body, just waiting for art to insult him and his big ego and leave him alone to sulk… and probably jerk off,, “you put up a good fight out there, y’know, with the headlock and everything?” art drawls, leaning himself on the half wall of the shower, smugly grinning at patrick… “just fuck off alright, i know what you’re here for donaldson” patrick spits of, turning his back to art as he starts to lather his head with shampoo…

silently making his way to the shower beside patrick, art places his lips just shy away from patrick’s ear, “and just what would that be?” and stupidly, patrick slightly jumps with surprise, art’s warmth breath returning on his skin makes him embarrassingly hard (again)… unable to open his eyes patrick just tries his best to speed run his shower, washing the heaps of shampoo out of his hair before art starts to fuck with him even more… “because, if you think about it, i think you actually like me being here…talking to you as you try to hide how hard your dick is from me..” patrick quickly wipes his eyes, which then begin to sting, as he opens his mouth to respond “ah- no talking, you did enough of that out there patrick, it’s time for me to do the talking, can you handle that for once?”

“fuck, please just-" patrick starts, before getting cut off by art once again, slowly leaning in to turn off patrick’s running shower head “just what? leave you the fuck alone? what makes you think i’ll do that, it’s not like you’ve given me that pleasure since i’ve joined huh? i see the way you look at me zweig, don’t try to hide it now” backing himself into the wall patrick rolls his eyes, this is fucking stupid, so fucking stupid.. “look man-” he gets up from the wall, sizing art up, with his dick out and everything… “i’m not a fucking pansy okay, now just fuck right the fuck off before we have a problem” art just grins, a big cheshire cat-like grin, self-satisfied by how wound up he’s got the boy before him… “problem? you talk as if you’re gonna do something, i think the problem is that you might be scared of you dick filling up when i’m on top of you” and patrick just turns his head away, blush creeping down his neck as art stares at his naked body…“look, it’s even doing it now..” art whispers, humiliating patrick further,, his dick heavily resting on the tuft of black hair on his naval…

“fuck you, j-just touch me alright, get it over with..” patrick groans as art makes his hand down his chest, tracing over every freckle, making sure to push on his nipple in the process… “oh patrick,” art coos “come on now, we both know you want this… been wanting this for awhile now” and patrick’s breath hitches as he rolls his head to the side, quickly grabbing his length art applies more pressure getting another strained groaned out of patrick “answer me pat, don’t take all day” and patrick just mumbles out a series of yeah’s as art starts to stroke him, their heavy breathing filling up the empty, foggy, locker room…

fin.

-

some moots i thought of while writing this: @judeable-brainrot @ghostgirl-22 @cairngorm-ard 💖

[kasssscali]

May i kindly request a Jax x reader who both knew each other in, much to the readers dismay at his usually annoyingly sarcastic attitude, in the real world before they both get trapped in a digital circus around the same time oddly enough with Jax being the first one to get trapped before the reader. The two forget the fact that they knew each other in the digital world but the dynamic between the two being the reader being able to keep Jax in check a of his attitude. Maybe a small sprinkle of romance blossoming?

Before you and Jax got yourselves stuck in the digital world, you knew each other

you weren’t friends, you would never consider yourself even close to being friends when it came to Jax

when you guys first met, he made it very clear and very well known that he was an asshole

his nickname for you would be “Angel” and he wasn’t doing that to be sweet, he was doing that to be sarcastic

there have been times where you would have to get his ass out of trouble more than once

you always questioned yourself why you would stick your neck out for him when he never did anything in return

you could never find an answer to that question

but one day… Jax vanished (what a mystery lmao)

you felt your heart sink when you couldn’t find him, people who knew him didn’t know where he was either, and assumed you would know since you two where seen together a lot

the disappearance kept you up at night, you would be lying if you said you got decent sleep worrying about him

You needed a distraction, everyone around you was commenting on how tired and anxious you were all the time

and it came to your senses that you needed a break from your thoughts

and what better way to do that than put on this mysterious headset and open up this strange website called ‘Digital Circus’

Believe it or not it did work… you forgot what you were worried about, but you also forgot everything about you before you arrived in the Digital World

Caine got you acquainted with everyone, but that one purple rabbit… was his name Jax? Something about him pissed you off constantly that it made you see red

but also something about him seemed so endearing

and so familiar

its a shame that you could never figure out what it was

you took an instant liking to the other members of the cast, especially Ragatha. Definitely not Jax though, he was an asshole

you took it upon yourself to protect others from Jax’s “jokes”

occasionally you would check in on him time to time, see what he is doing, see what he is up too

again that irritating feeling of something familiar seemed to never leave you alone

and the same goes for Jax as well, not just you

Jax would never say anything about it to you, but you seemed so familiar

something about you made him feel alive, and made him want to be near you

it has gotten to the point, where you didn’t even need to check on him he was pratically glues to your side

”don’t you have someone else to bother?”

”whaaaaat? You don’t like my company? Kinda rude you know~”

“Good”.

”I would say your an Angel, but I would be lyin’ at this point”.

you froze hearing the nickname ‘Angel’, you immediately stopped what you where dong and just stood there

Jax waved a hand in front of your face, and when that didn’t work he began tapping your head

The feeling of something familiar was now a lot stronger than it was, it made your head and your heart pound

you didn’t mind Jax’s company after that small incident

[enjoyjellime]

Basically as I was playing Miitopia I had this idea in my head that made me want to draw a short comic, but then I realized that I write better than I draw, so you're getting writing instead lol. Enjoy!

Waking up to a fuchsia pink sky was definitely the first hint that he wasn't where he was supposed to be. Also grass shouldn't be striped. Neither should trees.

Where the hell was he?

He tries to sit up, to roll over, to turn his head at least, but his muscles seem to not want to listen to him just yet, sprawled flat on his back as if he was stuck to some kind of glue trap from how fatigued he felt, so instead he takes the moment to scratch his brain for a reminder of what could have possibly led him to be transported to.... Wherever this was.

The only visual that plays within his staticky mind is a scene of trees zooming past, a flash of familiar brown beside him, a shadow chasing close behind, a flash of bright light in front of him, and then.... and....then....?

...Then what?

This, he guesses.

A shuffle of the grass above his head snaps him out of his thoughts immediately, his body tensing in high alert as the form of someone blocks the sun from his eyes.

"You okay there? You both seem to be in pretty bad shape, the Breads and Running Noses do tend to be pretty rampant around these parts."

...

Bread? Runny noses? What the hell are they talking about? He doesn't have time to dwell on it as a sudden onslaught of golden glitter starts raining down onto his face and clothes, yelling out curses on reflex to whoever was attacking him until a violent cough racks his body as it enters his windpipe.

It seemed to be doing something to him though. As the weariness begins to fade away, his arms shoot up to block any more of the irritant as he rolls onto his side, sputtering and gasping for breath.

"Oh....uh, what are you doing? You're not supposed to eat it."

The audacity to make him look ridiculous when they're the ones attacking him.

"But that should do it.... Can you stand?"

Immediately he's on his feet like a bolt, and in brisk, deliberate strides he stands before them, jabbing a finger out, ready to give this brown-haired perp a piece of his mind.

"That was highly illegal y'know. Who the hell do you think you are, attacking a for-"

His complaint fizzles out in his throat at the sight of the person wilting away from the cat claw protruding from a paw attached to his hand. Where were his hands?!

"Hey, fuzzy. Put that fuckin paw away, you tryna kill us with cuteness or somethin?"

"E-EJ!"

Nevermind the harsh statement, he's now fully aware of sensations he shouldn't be having. The shifting of ears now on top of his head, the twitching of whiskers protruding from his cheeks, the flicking of a tail thumping the ground behind him.

"What? Jellie, it's a man-cat in a suit. That's weirdly adorable."

"Or is it a cat....man? He has a human face..."

Mashita blocks out the droning blows to his ego, glaring down at cushiony pink paw pads as if they'd melt if he waited long enough. Just what kind of nightmare had he woken up to?

One that wasn't chasing him through a haunted forest, for a change.

Putting his paws into his coat pockets and turning his head away slightly, he clicks his tongue at the strangers, attempting to give off an air of indifference despite the heat slowly creeping up his neck.

"Nevermind that, I'm Mashita Satoru, a private detective that was cursed into a cat during an investigation. ("God it sounds even dumber out loud, but it should be believable enough.")

A shorter stature enters his view and he turns, the person from earlier peering up at him with droopy green eyes on their sloth-like face.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I was trying to heal you. I'm Jellie by the way." They hold up a bottle for him to see, still a quarter full of the golden glitter. Mashita nods and leans in slightly, inspecting a label on the front with the words "HP Sprinkles" written on it.

HP? Great....he was in some videogame world bullshit.

Another presence makes itself known as he straightens up again, only to glance up a bit higher at a vibrantly pink individual. Pink hair, pink eyes, pink...clown nose? Alright, so he wasn't the only ridiculous looking one here. That made him feel better....slightly.

"You already heard my name called earlier, but it's EJ. Nice to meetcha, Fuzzy." She ends with a charismatic wink, shifting a strawberry biscuit stick between grinning teeth. He can feel his eye twitch at the nickname.

A tapping on his arm has him looking back at the former, eyebrows quirking upwards at a knowing glint shining within their tired eyes.

"I can tell you two aren't from around here. This world, I mean."

Oh? So they might know a way to send him back home. Wait... Two?

His heart drops into his stomach.

Yashiki.

"Yashiki. Whe-"

A raucous cough and flapping bat wings catch the three of them off guard, whipping around to a scraggly man shot upright in the grass, wine red eyes wide in startled alarm before shifting back into a cool obsidian as he lethargically tries to make sense of his surroundings, stumbling slightly as he tries to get up onto shaky legs.

Nevermind. There he is.

Yashiki finally seems to notice he's not alone, stubbornly trying to make his way over despite his tipsy movements. Just as he's about to trip over his own legs, Mashita reaches out, catching him mid-fall, and lifts him back up to rest his thin face upon his shoulder as the other two people in the group surround them.

"Woah, a vampire! Thatsa first time seein one for me!"

"He's not looking too good... But the ability is a plus..."

"Ability?" Mashita questions, deciding to push for more info on what could be ailing him as Yashiki's breath heavily fans along his skin. Jellie stops mid-hp shake to look up at him.

"Ah yeah.... Vampires have the ability to revive themselves if they get knocked out.... Although it leaves them at one hp afterwards, so it's good to get them healed as quickly as possible...."

That's. Pretty useful, actually. If only that was possible in the real world...

He doesn't miss the feeling of lips licking close to his neck. His whiskers twitch. "A vampire, eh?" He shifts Yashiki in his hold, his head rolling wearily away with a pitiful whine, and he just can't help the amused exhale that escapes him. Just as he thought, his mouth was parted slightly, the tips of pale fangs glinting just within sight.

"No biting, or you're going to get sprinkled."

"Oh, I was about to do that anyway..... He's not going to get mad at me too, is he?"

"I'LL DO IT!!"

EJ immediately grabs the shaker before Jellie can react with anything other than slow blinks as she aggressively shakes it above his head. Suddenly Mashita finds it a lot harder to keep a hold on him as he gains energy back, floundering within his grip as he lets out a yelp at the sudden onslaught. He wraps his new tail around him for extra support without thinking.

When the last few flecks of gold drift away, EJ places the shaker back into Jellie's open palm as they all check to make sure he's not too rattled.

"Hey.....um...Yashiki, was it? How are you feeling...?"

Yashiki blinks a few times, as if trying to make sense of his situation; not that he can blame him, there's a lot that feels far from normal right now.

"Uh... different, I think? But...otherwise better than I was a moment ago. Do either of you know where I am?"

("Well fuck him, I guess. He's taking this far better than I thought.") Mashita digs his claws deeper into his shoulders, a quick intake of breath escaping the older man's lips as his muscles stiffen in shock.

"Oi, I'm also here, Yashiki. Or do you just like it when people hold you?"

Yashiki floats upwards out of his arms, his own flailing slightly at the unexpected movement before softly landing, turning around to fully face him. He doesn't comment on the way his fingers twitch as he glances up at his new ears then back down to meet his eye. His tail thumps the ground once more.

Needlepoint fangs peek out with the fond smile that stretches across his lips, eyes turning soft at what he hoped was about him being alive and not these stupid cat features.

"I knew it was you Mashita, I'm just glad I'm not alone in a strange world, is all."

He's practically glowing as he says it, and all Mashita can think about is if it's because he's in the sun? Or wait...no, vampires catch fire in the sun, don't they? Or are the laws of this universe just entirely different? Why was he trying to figure out the semantics of vampires in a world that already didn't make sense? How tiring....

Sluggishly glancing behind Yashiki, his eyes widen slightly at the knowing look the two acquaintances are throwing his way, EJ waggling her eyebrows as Jellie sends him a positive thumbs up. Gritting his teeth, he steps closer to Yashiki, tail swishing back and forth as he pulls him closer, wrapping his arms around the taller man, said man reciprocating the hug automatically with a confused tilt of his head.

From behind his back, Mashita flips off the pair, his ears folding back as EJ lets out a cackle, trying to catch her breath at the sight of Mashita holding Yashiki's head in place when he tries to see what's so funny.

"I'm just glad you're here too, Yashiki."

~~~~

Bonus:

Leaning up against the side of the Inn's wall, Mashita was planning on getting some fresh air to sort out his thoughts when a certain clown decided to make her appearance, sidling up beside him and matching his stance; arms crossed and one foot propped on the wall behind her. For a while they stand like that, not saying anything to each other, but he could feel it, like a balloon that was about ready to pop.

This eyesore of a clown wanted to talk, and all he wanted was to walk away, to hiss, threaten to scratch, anything to be left alone, but from the little bit he was able to gleam personality-wise of the colourful cast he had the "pleasure" of meeting back inside, he knew he wouldn't be able to escape without carnage in the form of a headache he could already feel blossoming. With an audible sigh, he backs down.

"God I could really use a smoke right about now..."

"Oh, ya smoke? Here I gotcha covered."

His ears perk up at the peace offering, holding out his outstretched paw while remaining forward. He's thankful for the vice, but the last thing he needs is this tooth-rotting clown to feel like she's getting somewhere with their affiliation.

Once he feels the small stick brush over his paw, he nods in quiet thanks, about to bring it closer to his lips before pausing, blinking a few times at it as he finally registers just what the hell he's holding.

"The hell? This is just a biscuit sti-"

He rubs his paw against his tired face. He was literally hanging out with a clown, he should've known better than to think anything serious would come of this. Finally glancing over to said clown with annoyance clearly visible, he can only stare in confusion when she pulls a biscuit stick of her own from her lips, blowing a puff of strawberry scented smoke into the air around them, the stick itself looking completely normal, no lit end, nothing.

"Hey man, don't let it go to waste."

He really needs to grab Yashiki and get the hell out of here.

~~~~

Thank you for reading! :D

[sidesteppostinghours]

VOTE BLAZE FOR FHR TUMBLR SEXYMAN

now why on earth would i, a humble man, ask the people to vote for blaze over ricardo? what basis could i possibly have to convince you to consider him over (arguably) los diablos most eligible bachelor?? friends, i come to you with two simple arguments:

1. blaze shows a surprising amount of depth when you dive under the flashy exterior

2. i cannot stress enough how funny it would be to watch ortega lose in the first round

blaze is undeniably a suave, arrogant asshole who desperately needs somebody to kick his ass. hes a little prick to the puppet (if theyre male, if theyre female he switches his tune Damn Quick) and he somehow managed to fumble chen??? which is frankly embarrassing for him.

However. however. hes shown in both very small interactions when you meet him and during the actual fight to be a competent, strategic hero who cares about the people. as step points out, when the puppet stumbles over him his immediate reaction is to treat them like somebody who needed help. during the fight, he first takes the time to strategize, making sure to dial back his powers to make sure nobody gets hurt– to the point that he hinders himself. even chen says that blaze always had careful control, to the point where if you fry him in the meeting room, chen suspects somethings up.

hes also surprisingly reasonable about step, giving serious thought to what they say and do regardless of how cruel of a villain they are. yeah ok ortega has the 'sympathetic' villain relationship status but does that really do anything about his perceptions of them??? he still readily calls them a monster during the villain reveal. meanwhile it takes one(1) conversation with blaze to get him questioning his bosses, and it literally does not matter how many people youve killed, he ends up pestering alvarez about it anyway. i firmly believe that hes put a lot more thought about the problems in the system he works under, even if he puts more faith in it than he should.

anyway thats enough serious propaganda, heres the sillier ones: hes such a loser. like 24/7 nonstop. this man is utterly pathetic. i know i talked about how good he is as a hero but listen to me. he gets all dismissive about a step that has less than 55 infamy, but i have 9 steps (though i only talk about 4). i have lost to him by accident Once. i have to codedive so i can lose to him On Purpose for the achievement it is so bad. it is so funny watching all the ways he can eat shit during that fight. truly the pinnacle of bisexual failboy.

I ALMOST FORGOT THAT HE ACCIDENTALLY KINDA OUTS HIS CONNECTION WITH CHEN BECAUSE HE WAS BEING SALTY??? LIKE

POV YOU KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MARSHAL OF LOS DIABLOS SECRET FOR MONTHS ONLY TO POTENTIALLY EXPOSE IT TO A RANDO BCAUSE YOU WERE MAD ABOUT BEING EXES.

it has also come to my attention via @allens-chocolate-dreams that rat king can become his fan if step falls out the window again and this is extremely important to me.

can rat king be a fan of ortega??? no, because ortega is a loser whos immune to telepathy. very clear whos superior here imo. oh and im probably legally required to say that he has fire powers which makes him objectively hotter than ortega.

finally and most importantly,

if blaze wins i will draw ric dying in a glue trap.

[lottiecrabie]

begging linecook!matty to meet u at a halloween party bc ur Drunk even tho he said he didn’t wanna go and would just link up with you after. he gets there and sees u in ur slutty costume and just loses it because that’s pretty unlike you

ofc the linecook halloween blurbs immediately say Slutty

you hold yourself up with a shoulder on the wall, but the world still spins around you. the hallway to the bathroom seems to zigzag ahead, and you can’t be arsed to make sense of the maze right now. applause by lady gaga rings behind you, with the resonating off-key screams of your friends chewing through the lyrics. light flashes up your face. you sway on your spot.

Hey

Hi

What are you wearing

Haha that’s a joke

Unless?

I miss yoh

Why couldn’t you have gone out with us we could be fucking in a bathroom right now:(

Your thumbs linger over the screen. You ready to tap out some new nonsensical stream of consciousness, but Matty’s speech bubble appears. You gasp. It surprises you, somehow, that he’s seeing these, like you had assumed his number was a speed dial to the void.

how drunk are you

You scoff. Why do you assume I’m drunk?

believe it or not i am literate. i can fkg read it

The last three shots of The Darling’s cheapest and strongest booze does haze your brain, humming pleasantly through your limbs. Narrowing to that needy center of yours, the one that always begs for him and never seems to be satisfied. You bite your lip, giggling as you send; Will you come join me if I show yoh my tits

jesus christ.

No?

i’m on my way A grin splits your face. You send him a string of emojis even you can’t decipher the meaning of, laughing to yourself as you get swallowed by the dancing crowd again.

Fifteen minutes later and Matty’s hand is at your shoulder, fishing you out of the dancefloor. You gasp, turning around to hook your arms behind his neck. “Matty!” You reach up on your tiptoes, pressing kisses all over his face. The faint remainder of your red lipstick glues to him in the shape of your lips. You laugh, wiping the one on his cheek. “I’m so glad you came.”

Matty nods, checking behind himself for the quickest exit. His hand tugs you along, and you let yourself be puppeteered away for a minute before you freeze, eyes wide. “I have to show you my tits!” You let go of his hand, bunching up the hem of your shirt.

“Fucking—” He clutches your hands, trapping them, preventing you from flashing him and half the bar. “No.”

“I made a promise,” you pout, but let him pull your fingers far away from your shirt. “My father always says a person is only as good as their word.”

“I’ll see them soon, princess.”

You smirk, licking your lips. “Oh yeah? Gonna have your way with me?”

“When you’re not fucking wasted.”

You frown. “‘M not.”

He snorts. “Sure.”

“I’m not!” The words come out high-pitched and whiney, completely contradicting you.

“You can barely stand straight,” he says, looking you up and down. His body freezes. His gaze licks up your body, taking in the heels, the black shorts, the tight little shirt your breasts practically fall out of. “What are you wearing?”

“It’s my costume,” you say, grinning proud. Your square your shoulders, straightening your back to show it all off. “You like?”

Matty swallows thickly. “What are you even supposed to be?”

You roll your eyes, pointing to the pair of ears sticking out of your hair. “A cat.”

“Fuck,” he mutters to himself, gaze fixed down on your tits. You bet he regrets not letting you show them off now. “What are you doing wearing this when I’m not there?”

You huff, crossing your arms. “Well I asked you to be, didn’t I?”

“And when I said we’d see each other after, you should’ve put on a fucking sheet over yourself and gone as a ghost.” He pulls up on the neckline of your shirt, trying to cover your breasts up, but it only makes it ride up your stomach instead. Matty makes a low sound in the back of his throat.

You get up on your tiptoes, whispering in his ear, “Don’t worry. Your view when I take it off is gonna be even better.” Your hand circle his wrist, making him lazily grope one of your tits. He groans. You grin, grazing your lips down his jaw, lingering over his mouth. “Matty, take me home and fuck me.”

He makes a frustrated noise, conflicted. Then drops his hand from your breast, disentangling from you, shaking his head. “You’re trouble,” he swears, catching your shoulders and driving you through the crowd, one respectful arm-length distance away.

You pout, dragging your feet. Matty shakes his head, promising lowly. “Tomorrow.” You grin, Halloween cheer coming back to you.

“Promise?”

“Of course,” Matty starts, cheeky. “A person is only as good as their word.”

[xbellaxcarolinax]

Hi, congratulations on 2K! 🥳

Can I ask for HCs for Marc Spector in a Zombie Apocalypse AU? 👀

Marc Spector x f!reader

Warnings: Language, violence, mentions of blood, weapons such as guns and blades, implied reader is younger, BUT OF AGE OKAY? Smut, p in v, nothing too crazy.

Thank you for participating babe <3 No mention of Steven or Jake in this one! I’m sorry :( Also, this isn’t very good Again, I’m sorry! But I did have fun, so there’s that!

NSFW (Idk how that happened, it wasn’t the original intention lmfao)

MDNI

Marc was built for the times 

Didn’t mean he enjoyed it

His time in the Marines proved useful, his instincts sharp and always ready for a fight, his skills with a gun and blade invaluable 

Comes home with blood on his hands almost every night

Lost count of the lives he’s taken, both human and zombie (didn’t matter anymore)

A lone wolf—survived the outbreak all on his own

That was the good thing about lacking loved ones, he had no one to worry about but himself

And he wanted to keep it that way

Or so he thought until you stumbled into his chaotic life 

It was an accident, really

You broke in through the window of his flat in the dead of night, your old chucks squeaking against the worn-out wooden floor

He had a blade to your neck within seconds, the sharpened edge pressed firmly against your delicate skin

“Who the fuck are you? How’d you get up here?” He spat, grabbing your frayed t-shirt caught in his fist by the neckline

How you managed to climb the fire escape up six flights without making a sound was beyond him

“Wait, wait, wait, I’m sorry, I thought this place was abandoned and I needed to get away.” You pleaded, your eyes wide and your hands curling around his wrist in an attempt to loosen his hold.

Marc grunted, shoving you to the side.

“Get out.”

“Sure, can that wait till morning?”

“No.” The last thing he needed was a liability. 

“Please,” you begged, “they’re everywhere tonight. Just-just let me leave in the morning, they hate sunlight, you should know this. I promise I’ll be gone.”

He could’ve said no, should’ve. Something about your eyes stopped him. You were a young thing to him, a pretty girl with pretty eyes that spoke volumes

You’ve suffered just as he had

“I want you gone by sunrise, got it?” He bristled, pointing his blade at you, “And I better not catch you here again.”

“Got it.”

But when did things ever go as planned? 

You were back again and again and again.

You traded food and in return, he provided you with simple weapons he’d put together—a tiny blade, an old wine opener, a shitty pistol. 

That led to you crashing over his flat.

That was two years ago, and now, you were stuck to Marc like glue

But you weren’t useless. You were extremely stealthy, a good trapper, always bringing food home for dinner. Sometimes it wasn’t much—a simple trout or a small squirrel to fill your bellies till the next time you fetched a meal, but it was enough 

Marc never said it, but he was glad you had stumbled into his flat those years ago

Too stubborn to admit you were a welcomed companion 

Even more stubborn to admit he was falling for you

But that didn’t matter. The world was fucked and there wasn’t any time for that

One day you’d gone out to check your squirrel traps at the park (really, it was a forest now) not far from the flat.

Marc accompanied you as usual, seeing as he was the protector.

He’d gotten distracted. Found a Zippo lighter tossed carelessly over the grass. Still had oil in it.

It’d been so quick he almost missed it. Some guy had you pressed up against a tree, his thick hand wrapped around your throat as he lifted you up with ease.

Marc saw red.

Immediately grabbed his gun from the back pocket of his worn denim, aimed, and fired.

He never missed a shot. 

The only thing he could really recall from that day was the fear in your eyes, the red splattered over your pretty face.

“Could’ve been worse,” you chuckled shakily, wiping your face free of blood, “could’ve been a nightcrawler, right?”

Marc didn’t laugh

He shoved the dead man away from you, grabbing you in a tight hug

You hugged him back, burying your face in his chest, your body trembling like a leaf in his arms

God, he was falling for you and there was definitely no time for it

But you made the time

One night you kissed him, soft and sweet, unlike anything he’d felt in a long time

You were pressed up against him, savoring his warmth in the chill of the flat

He returned it eagerly, unaware of how touch-starved he’d been, his fingers pawing at every part of you he could

Marc fucked you that night, nice and slow on his old bed, his dark curls drenched in sweat despite the cold

“You feel so good.” He whispered in your ear as you whimpered, coating his length in your juices.

“M-Marc, feel s-so full,��� you moaned as you held him close, his thrusts growing sloppier the closer he got 

You came, gushing over him with a silent cry. He followed not long after, pulling out from your pulsating cunt and spilling over the bare skin of your abdomen

He surged forward to kiss you, tongue tangling with yours as your fingers weaved through his sweat-slick hair

Your eyes, always so pretty, pulled at his heartstrings, just as they did the first time he met you

And he was never gonna let you go

[illarian-rambling]

From the OC Torture Ask Game!

7. Who do you put most into stressful situations or other drama?

I mean, is all of them an answer lol? No oc of mine is spared Situations. To answer for one in particular though, Faalgun is definitely up there.

To start with the basic premise of his existence, Faalgun is a ghost bound to the exploratory vessel known as the R.S. Starbreaker. In life, he was a pilot in the Flying City navy, sailing voidskiffs (wooden spacecraft) to protect merchant vessels, until he got in deep with his gambling addiction, got dishonorably discharged because of it, lost his house, his friends, and all of his money, until a loanshark finally had him beaten to death for failing to repay his debts. And then he went to the goddess of exploration's hell for being a failed pilot. So... uh... strong start.

Now, he's a part of the undead crew of the R.S. Starbreaker, having been summoned by human mages who wish to explore space but who haven't figured out space suits yet. Nominally, he's the captain of the ship, but that's a title he rejects, as he feels he doesn't deserve it. Since then, he has:

Almost fallen off the ship immediately

Had to break up a fight between the crew

Fought a giant alien worm monster over a notebook

Had to do a spacewalk tied to a rope in order to retrieve another crew member who did fall off the ship

Got brought to a casino where he fell back into his old habits, much to his incredible guilt

Had to retrieve his ship when it was stolen and got spears thrown at him

Passed out from the cold after landing on an ice planet

Had to deal with his crew deciding to skinny dip on said ice planet rather than get their one pair of clothes dirty and treating him like a prude for wanting to keep his pants on

Getting catapulted through an alien subway line and broke his spine on impact (he's dead, so he got better)

Got stuck in an alien glue trap

To finally cement the image, you must know that Faalgun is a 3'5" lizard man, like a dnd kobold except blue and wearing a filthy, ragged military uniform. Everyone on the crew thinks he's utterly adorable.

Thanks for the ask!

[collectorcookie]

@rebelscythe123 this is for u <3

Loooots and lots of spoilers for everything caiowe for anyone reading this btw

Ok so a lot of cain's roles in the narrative focuses on him sacrificing himself. He's a knight so he should put his life in danger to protect others. He's a sage's wizard so he should, again, put himself in life-threatening danger to save the world. He is arthur's personal knight so, you guessed it, he should protect arthur at all costs, including himself. He's so kind and sweet and he made being a shield to others his meaning of life <3. This isn't a good thing, duh. He has no sense for self preservation and is very suicidal, maybe not in the depressed way, but in the extremely willing to throw his life away way. Like, in central ballad, he immediately puts himself between akira and oz throwing a rampage KNOWING ozzy can instant kill him, accidentally or not. And in central prelude, he also just throws himself at a beast with no consideration for his own safety.

Now, owen. Owen is the complete opposite of cain. If cain is generally puppy sunshine who's willing to die for anyone, then owen is depressed and thorny and puts his own survival above anyone and anything else.

Owen is the first person in cain's life that DOESN'T require cain to sacrifice anything for him. If anything, owen is the first person to offer cain something. Freedom. Cain, up until that point, had to keep himself hidden away. Now of course, owen defeating cain and stealing his eyeball was very traumatizing for cain, but it ends up in a net positive development for him because he doesn't have to hide anymore. I think cain even thanks him for it eventually. And another thing owen offers cain is a goal to strive towards. Now that owen has defeated him, cain has to work hard and train himself to become a better wizard. Wait i have two screenshots from anni2 that kinda

Just. Them. Ugh.

Now back onto owen, obviously everyone knows that owen latched himself onto cain because baby owen was locked up in a basement with nothing but a picture book with a knight. And cain is number one picture perfect knight. But another thing to consider about owen's character is that....kizu owen isn't owen himself, he isn't the real owen, he is just a trauma holder for owen's past memories. Wait holup i have more screenshots somewhere surely.

Yeah like in north ballad, owen wants to cure his injury because he wants to stay as himself. He's no longer the helpless small child calling out for anyone to save him, he crawled outta that hell himself, he saved himself, he's strong now. I don't like the way people treat kizu owen as the "real owen" or whatever because that kid just straight up isn't, i like the idea of the real self of a traumatized character is the self that overcame the trauma, not the one haunted by it.

And for kizu owen, anyone could have been kizu owen's knight in shining armor, as we see in ms2, where he sticks to oz like glue instead of cain. This fucks up cain severely. Because the reason why cain stuck to owen is because of his kizu self. Because his kizu self straight up says things like "save me" and "don't leave me alone" and what could a knight like cain do but respond? Yeah sure there's this other real owen that's a brutal murderer but let's ignore that for now because see! There's this other him calling out for help! And all of cain's identity is helping others despite the risks so trying to help kizu owen in spite of real owen potentially hurting him is such a cain thing to do.

But kizu owen will stick to anyone willing to respond. He's not a person. He's doesn't form bonds. He doesn't learn. He's just a trauma holder. In ms1, even when cain shows him over and over again that the door is open and it isn't locked and you can literally open the door, you aren't trapped, i wouldn't do that to you, kizu owen still ends up scratching and hitting at the door because he👏doesn't👏learn👏or👏move👏on. That's his thing. It doesn't matter to him if it's cain who is protecting him or if it's oz, he wants anyone.

And now cain is feeling like shit because arthur doesn't need him, owen doesn't need him, his knights don't need him, nobody needs or chooses specifically cain for anything, he has no space to exist. This is why he changes himself 180 degrees in ms2 because in his mind it's "well manipulating people is something only i can do so i will sacrifice myself and all of my morals for it." Are you. Are you seeing it yet?

BUT who does end up choosing cain specifically, over and over again? Owen. The real owen. He goes and fetches arthur aaaaall the way from central country to check up on cain. And ms2 isn't the only instance for this. He teaches cain magic and then later also prays his name in anni1. Owen ends up helping cain even when oz gave up on him in the knights event. Hell, even in central prelude, the only reason cain is alive is because owen's eyeball protected him. I don't remember where but i think there was once a convo between owen and mithra where mithra was like "that guy will take a 1000 years before he gets on your level" and owen was like "i'll wait". Owen WANTS to see cain grow, he wants to see him succeed.

Owen is the only character in the narrative that pushes cain to grow, cain is the only character in the narrative that pushes owen to see the world for what it is instead of the traumatized version he is holding onto.

All in all, caiowe is an EXTREMELY HEALTHY relationship, they literally make each other better, they just need a lot of communication, and they deserve each other, and i love them <3

[lulublack90]

Prompt 11 - Zonko's Joke Shop

@wolfstarmicrofic November 11, word count 775

Previous part First part

The room was pitch black when Sirius and Remus finally got their breaths back. Sirius shakily got to his feet. All these trials were exhausting him. He wondered how many more they would have to do. He’d thought for a moment that this was his mother’s doing, and she’d put them into an endless hell loop, but then he remembered what Dorcas had said and guessed this was the path to helping Remus.

He walked forward and instantly tripped over a box. He summoned his hellfire and immediately banished it. The room they were in was full of fireworks. One loose flame and they’d go up. He had spied a door a few steps away. Surely it couldn’t be this easy? He reached out and opened it. 

The door led into a shop; they were in the store room. Remus followed him into the dark shop. Sirius looked around; there was a lot of stock on the walls and on shelves. He went over to the nearest and picked up a rubber chicken. He squeezed it, and it let out a strangled honking noise as it refilled with air. There was a door leading outside, illuminated by a yellow streetlight on the street. Sirius went over to it and tried the handle. It didn’t budge. He put his weight behind it and nothing. He even tried breaking the glass, right where it proclaimed ‘Zonko’s Joke Shop’, but he didn’t even scratch it. He tried everything before slumping to the floor, all his energy spent. 

“Any ideas?” He asked Remus, who had been watching him intently. Remus stood, his large paws thudding against the wood floor as he moved forward. Remus sniffed at the lock and then wandered up and down the aisles, nose to the ground. 

Sirius drew his knees up, rested his arms on them and let his head hang down. He was so damn tired he just wanted to go to sleep. His eyes had only just closed when Remus let out a deep, booming bark. Sirius jolted awake and went to see what the problem was. 

Remus was at the far end of one of the rows of shelves and as Sirius approached he began to whine, swinging his paw towards a display of toy clowns. Sirius shuddered, he hated clowns. He looked closer though, as Remus became insistent. One of the dolls was holding the key to the door. He reached out to get it, but the clown jumped. Sirius yelped and the clown disappeared under the nearest set of shelves. “Little shit, bring that back!” Sirius barked, flinging himself on the ground and shoving his hand and arm into the narrow space between the unit and the floor. “Ouch!” He cried as he pulled his hand back. “It bit me,” He complained, but he tried again. “Keep on his Remus, don’t let him get away,” 

The problem was the clown could run up and down the entire aisle and dart across the floor and under another set of shelves before Sirius could get anywhere near him. “We need a better plan than this.” Sirius huffed as he looked around to see what could be of use in the shop. His eyes landed on an elaborate display of glass bottles. ‘Tempest in a Bottle’ they read with the image of a huge wave about to crash down. Sirius grabbed the lot. He also found some extra sticky glue. He went to the front of the store and began painting the windows, the door and the surrounding floor with the glue, the entire time the clown cackled gleefully at them from its hiding place. Sirius ushered Remus back into the store cupboard and set up the bottles. He knocked them all over and slammed the storeroom door shut. 

The sound of the wind and water on top of the darkness made it feel like they were trapped on a ship in the middle of a terrible storm. Sirius clung to Remus and prayed to Lucifer that this would work. Soon the wind died down and the sound of crashing waves dissipated and Sirius braved the shop once more. 

It was utter chaos. They had destroyed the entire shop, though the door and windows were still intact. Sirius scanned the debris for the clown and the key. He found it still clinging to the key, its colourful body stuck fast to the front door. It took more effort than Sirius expected to prise the key from its hand, but he got it in the end and shoved it in the lock, turning it with a satisfying clunk and exiting the trashed joke shop.  

Next part

[peachesgaeass]

MHA Spider Man Au

So.

I just had a hyperfixation research high on spiders, and had the idea to write an MHA Spiderman Au.

This is basically a brain dump at this point

Spider Man Au

Shinsou Hitoshi/Midoriya Izuku

Izuku doesn’t get a quirk but still wants to be a hero. He gets bitten by a radioactive spider.

Izuku might be trans male.

He goes to UA.

Maybe EraserMic adoption. Dunno yet.

1. spider's don't have bones=Izuku having really flexible bones(sorta like rubber)- it gives structure to hold up his body while playing with the idea of bones.

2. Maybe have fangs-even if their small- with venom that could have an effect on the person they bite

3. Has blue blood- just thinking it would be cool(the spiders haemoglobin also produces copper, causing the oxygen to oxidise the copper giving it it's blue colour)

4. And since spiders communicate through vibrations in the ground, he could be able to feel people coming, but also communicate with spiders to get Intel(could possibly train them to be an army)

5. He could also have low iron as spiders haemoglobin doesn't produce iron like humans but copper( could also decide to make it so the iron production is slowed down)–If this is to be the case the blood would be purple if you also choose for the blue blood option as there would have to be a higher concentration of copper in his blood.

6. Depending on what the base of the radioactive spider is it could stunt his hight or cause him to grow( I like short Izuku, or at least Hitoshi being taller)

7. His hero name could be spithra, the Old English word 'spider' derived from, meaning spinner.

8. Some spiders have up to seven types of silk glands, each creating a different type of silk—such as smooth, sticky, dry, or stretchy. This could allow Izuku to choose what type of silk he wants to make for whatever purpose it's used for.

9. As some male spiders give dead flies to the females as presents, could lead to Izuku having a tendency to gift tiny things to people he cares about– like rocks, bones, etc.

10. If the spider's base is a jumping spider(tiny Izuku), as they can leap up to 40 times their own body length. Meaning they would be able to jump over 230 feet, as that is what a human would be able to if they could jump 40x their height.

11. Scientists found that a spider's silk contains vitamin K, which helps reduce bleeding. So this might help Izuku if he was to perform immediate first aid.

12. Some species of jumping spiders can see light spectrums that humans cannot. Some can see both UVA and UVB light– this would just be a fun little bit or Izuku to find out.

13.Different drugs affect the way spiders spin their webs. For example, spiders on LSD spin beautiful webs, while spiders on caffeine spin terrible webs. So if Izuku deducts this then he sadly can't be a caffeine addict. 😿

14. As this sounds like something Izuku would know I'm joimg to put it in–Spider webs are not passive traps. Instead, because of electrically conducive glue spread across their surface, webs spring towards their prey. Scientists also found that the glue spirals on the web distort Earth’s electric field within a few millimeters of the web– just a little fun fact.

Critique is welcome. I wanna hear your guys thoughts and if you would be interested in reading it.

Izuku's fist interaction with Eraserhead

[skatermusic]

There was no mistaking Semeru's favourite colour. The floor, his bedding, even the.....pet bed? in the room was blue.

Semeru looked up from the weapon he was sharpening. "Hermione, always a pleasure to see you. Please, come in."

Hermione happily swam into the shark's room. "How has your day been?"

Semeru put his polishing materials down as he spoke. "Other than taking my third night patrol in a row and whipping the new recruits into shape, uneventful, so don't take it personally if I fall asleep during your visit. Yours?"

"Oh, y'know, donated some stuff to the museum, bought another cow, ran some errands for people, fished for a few hours, and now I'm here."

Semeru beamed. "Always a pleasure to see you. I've just realized you've learned so much about my world, but I barely know anything about yours."

Hermione began with basic differences, sprinkling her own experiences in. Semeru listened intently, only politely interrupting to ask for clarification, which the farmer happily provided, even if it meant having to compare their worlds. Halfway through a story about her childhood dog, she just had to ask:

"Quick question, Semeru."

"Of course."

"Is that a pet bed?" Hermione asked, pointing to the tiny bed in Semeru's room.

"Yes, for my lobster, Poseidon. He ran off some time ago."

Hermione's heart broke. When her dog, Dusty, had run away, she was crushed. "Oh no, I'm so sorry. I hope you find him."

"Thank you, I hope so too."

To change the depressing subject, Hermione told Semeru about her family-growing up the only girl in a house full of boys, her parents, and cherished memories. "How about you?"

"Remember when you saved that seahorse fry from a plastic bottle?"

"Oh, so that's what baby seahorses were called! How could I forget?" The bastard who threw the bottle out hadn't bothered to close it, and the poor baby was trapped. Hermione had wanted to free the baby with her scythe, but Semeru immediately stopped her. The dagger he used instead hung on the wall.

Semeru sighed. "Seeing that family of seahorses in the coral reef reminded me of my own family. They weren't particularly nurturing."

Hermione raised a confused eyebrow. The entire family had come to hug the baby after it was freed.

Semeru immediately cleared up the confusion. "My family, I mean. I don't know where they were. After I was hatched, I was pretty much on my own."

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked. She didn't like the implications of Semeru's statement but allowed him to explain.

"When I hatched, I didn't have the luxury of a loving family waiting for me. No warm welcomes, no guiding fins. I was alone in that vast ocean, but it toughened me up real quick. I guess you could say the sea was my first teacher."

What the actual fuck? How could Semeru just casually admit something so heartbreaking? No wonder he cried when the seahorse family reunited! Hermione swore to the Goddess that if she ever met Semeru's parents, she would lure them into a glue trap and feed them to an orca. But, she knew she had to mask her anger. If Semeru picked up on it, the shark may never open up to her again.

Thunder rumbled overhead, startling the farmer. Hermione supposed the meteorologist had been right that morning.

Semeru paused, as if considering whether or not to say what was on his mind. "Tell anyone, and I'll deny it, but...." he sighed. "I can sing. Calmed Poseidon down all the time on stormy nights."

Semeru could sing? Hermione definitely didn't see that coming. "Awww, was the poor thing scared?"

Semeru nodded. Come to think of it, Hermione remembered Macy making a throwaway comment at the last beach clean up about her pet lobster Stephen being afraid of storms. Coincidence?

Neither were quite sure how it happened, but they eventually ended up sitting on the floor in a tender embrace, with Semeru gently taking Hermione's backpack off and burying his face into her neck.

"Semeru, are you falling asleep?" Hermione whispered.

Semeru used the last of his strength to nod. Hermione was sure he was trying to remind her not to take his exhaustion personally, but instead, what could only be called "word soup" came out of his mouth.

Hermione hugged the shark tighter and began to rub his back. "Shhh, just relax. Sleep if you need it, sweetheart." Hermione hadn't meant for the same pet name she had given the seahorse fry to slip out, but there was no taking it back now.

As if needing the farmer's permission, Semeru drifted off to sleep, gentle snores filling Hermione's ears.

°°°°

Until it happened to her, Hermione never would have guessed that tails went numb like legs, but here she was. The only movement Hermione allowed herself other than breathing was rubbing the sleeping captain's back, occasionally switching arms once one became exhausted.

Hermione sighed. She knew it would be a pot-meet-kettle situation if she were to call him out for overworking since she was running off of 2 hours of sleep, leftover pizza, and enough caffeine to give an elephant a heart attack, but taking every night patrol offered without rest, on top of training the new recruits? No wonder Semeru had dozed off in her arms.

Thank Goddess she had finally ditched that bulky wetsuit. Not only would she never have to worry about running out of air again, but now she could hold Semeru properly, actually feel his skin. Having a tail was definitely taking some getting used to, though, as happy as her inner 6 year old was when she finally earned it.

Hermione covered Semeru's ears to prevent the knock on his doorframe from waking him up. She greeted Deno with a nod, then explained her situation by pointing downward. The farmer watched Deno visibly relax, then pull his blanket back. Working together, the girls put him to bed.

Hermione muffled her giggles, her anger at Semeru's backstory temporarily forgotten at the sight of a stuffed lobster on his nightstand. She tucked it into Semeru's arms, waved Deno goodbye, then left the barracks.

That afternoon, as an outlet for her rage, Hermione completed her Band of Smiles initiation in an hour, blowing Mark's record out of the water.

[jgabriel1920]

I need an Alastor rut fic x Lucifer immediately

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚄𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚜.

𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭! 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐠𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐈 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨... 𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐢𝐭!

Screams echoed through the city. Not an uncommon thing to hear in the depths of hell, since suffering was the norm, however, today was the day all dreaded, a day of misery and/or pleasure.

It was a Rut day.

Nobody knew who the hell the idea to put "Alphas and Omega" in hell of all places like a badly made fan fiction, however, it did make the place a thousand times worse and more complicated since even the great overlords could suffer from lowly fates. Special such as animalistic ones.

Alastor stayed in his broadcasting room, trapped by chairs and a table barricading the door. The pain that he felt made it impossible to use his tentacles, in fact, it made it impossible even to think straight. All he could do was lay on the ground whimpering in heat, the friction of his thighs trying to seek pleasure even if he fought against it.

He was beyond this, the great radio demon couldn't be brought back by such horrible desires. He would rather burn alive than let anyone close to him, but it seems his body was trying to do that by itself, as sweat made his clothes glue in his skin. He breathed rapidly, Spit running down his mouth to the floor as he coughed like a smoker. The smell too didn't help, as sex was covering the room like a blanket, impossible to get rid of like blood on clothes.

His hand moved without his control, stoking his clothed cock through his pants. Why had he had such a big penis? It was useless and harmful in situations like this, nothing more than to worsen his state. He wished he could chop it off and throw it out of the window.

His pupils became normal at the idea, even for a second, the only thing able to save him from this occasion. He crawled his way to the main desk, his body grinding against the floor trying to get him to release, to fail. He wasn't going to lose.

At the table, he held it for help but failed as he fell back down face-first. He decided to just yank one of the drawers, the piece of wood falling on the ground with a loud bang.

In it was his savior, a combat knife. His combat knife. The same he cut so many throats and ripped so many guts out, his only True friend. He grabbed it with a vice grip, Finally dropping his pants to let his cock breathe. It throbbed In the air like a stuck vermin, one that he was ready to remove like a cancer. With trembling hands, he held the base and Inched the knife closer, it touched like It was one of his victims, one that he held no love for.

However, he jolts out of his member and directs it to the door as it bursts open, sending the chairs and table flying to the small room. He hoped he could kill the bastard by sending a knife through his skull but it seemed God was furious that he sent one of his sons.

Lucifer looked around stressed, eyes running around the room. "Alastor are you all... Right..." Eventually, he looked at Alastor's downed form, trembling and ruined as his cock began to pre cum.

"Alastor... I had no idea-"

"Go Away." His smile was more similar to a snarl as he continued to aim his knife at the snake.

Lucifer raised his hands, looking at him with a rather pitiful expression, he walked to the room with care. "Look... This won't go away this way. it gonna get just worse."

"I Know." Alastor gripped his dick, trying to keep it still and not thrust into his hand. His lips trembled as more whines came out of him, not being able to concentrate on Lucifer. Lucifer began to get near with watchful steps until he could finally hug his back. Alastor tried slashing at him but was unable to enough strength.

"What Are You Doing." His voice was breaking as he tried to compose himself.

"This moment doesn't need exactly the sex... Just the warmth of another body is enough." Lucifer ran his hand through Alastor's body with care, making sure not to touch anywhere that was too much. Alastor would fight back, but he felt his urges calming, ever so slightly. It ran through him and went to the other, like the fire that ate the wood and itself, slowly lowering and coming to its end.

It must have been minutes, felt like hours, and looked like years until Alastor's body went numb and just slightly moved as he slept deeply in Lucifer's arms, even purring slightly as his hand moved through the other hair and deer ears.

For even just a moment, the screams seemed to stop.

[thebluestbluewords]

You want a Descendants restaurant au? I could probably put one together easily. Is there anything you especially want, like pairings, scenes? It might not turn out exactly how you envision (since I'm gonna put my own things in, of course), but let me know. I could stand to write in Descendants a bit more this year.

oh my goodness, yes??? I would LOVE to read a Descendants restaurant AU if the idea is sparking your creative fancy! 

Obviously ymmv, but when I think Descendants restaurants, my immediate thought is either front of house/back of house fake rivalry with the AKs/VKs, or rival restaurants competing in some sort of....over the top challenge where the younger generation of the villain's restaurant have to work together with the children of the Auradon restaurant owners to stop their parents from rigging the competition somehow. (but that one is more a full blown AU with plot, and probably not the thoughts you are interested in hearing!) 

SO the short version! 

It is absolutely essential to me that Mal is one of the feral line cooks who claims to hate everyone, sleeps on a mattress on the floor of her friend's apartment, and owns a $1000 knife that is only used for cutting fish. 

The only other option for her is that she's the absolute worst hostess ever. Her mom owns the restaurant, so she doesn't care how her beloved daughter treats the customers. 

Jay would be so good and so charming if he was allowed to work in the front. He is not allowed to do this. The last time they set him loose on the customers, they didn't see him again for three hours, and when they found him he was shirtless inside the dumpster. 

Evie is the genuinely competent pastry chef who was actually tutored in her craft instead of dumped into the dish room with a shiny new work permit the second she was old enough to be on payroll. 

Carlos doesn't actually work there, he just shows up every so often to fix the perpetually broken hobart and flirt with the dish guy. 

I don't have any plot here, only vibes. 

The pirates also work at a restaurant, they're part of this rivalry probably. 

Uma's mother died under mysterious circumstances and left her daughter full ownership of the chip shop. 

(oh my god, is this some sort of boardwalk restaurant rivalry??? Uma and her pirates working the chip shop, Mal and Jay working some sort of rival fried food place, and Evie as the fancy upscale pasty restaurant across the way??? And they all have to unite against the kids from the resort restaurant??) 

I don't have a plot, I don't have a plot. 

Anything you write with feral line cooks would be amazing. 

I've never actually worked in a restaurant kitchen, but I did work dining service at two different summer camps, and met my fiance because he was the head chef at the second camp I worked at. We bonded over the time we found a dead mouse in our hobart. The machine would turn on and get through about two cycles before it shut down, which we eventually realized was because the mouse corpse in the wiring box was wet enough to conduct a charge for about two cycles before the electricity dried it out too much to continue.

I'm so sorry about the mouse story. We worked in a kitchen in the woods. We had to keep our trash in a broken chest freezer to avoid issues with the bears. 

I don't think the Descendants kids have to deal with bears. 

But they might have a particularly new kid ask what to do with the live mouse they found in the glue trap one morning. 

"should I just kill it with a fork??" 

There's a reason I don't work in kitchens anymore lmao

To actually answer your question, I’m always a sucker for Malvie?