#qbranchprompts

[dartier]

Headcanon — If you can't beat ‘em, bribe ‘em

James Bond has 534 tried and true methods for extricating Q from his Branch.

But when the full-on smoulder goes unsnarked, the ear nibble with scruff nets him a distracted swat, the perfect cup of tea placed precisely within reach merits not even a deep inhale, let alone a sip, let it never be said that James Bond won't call in reinforcements when the straits are truly dire.

He just bribes Q’s cats to doze on Q’s keyboard and then he pulls out his never fail tricks.

He throws Q over his shoulder and launches himself through the door, so R can lockdown Q’s office. (Don't worry, the cats have special doors. Can you imagine cats redesigning pneumatic tube delivery systems though.)

((James is much too smugly pleased with himself to notice his Boffin’s smirk and jaunty wave to his Branch from his elevated sprawl.))

And then James spends the rest of the night making it up to Q.

Kitty Photo Prompt by QB-G3 @bluebellofbakerstreet

[boffin1710]

I’m utterly miffed about the spy game now. Lost the plot.  It was so much easier when I was an agent, dodgy thing now a days.

During the cold war we knew who was who... 

Who the enemy was... 

Who to trust…

and who now to trust.   

But today… it is a young man’s game I suppose.

But then the call came from the agency, the Quartermaster himself. Bollocks I told him, but he proved he was who he said.  

Yes, I was in Vladivostok in 1874 when then US President Gerald Ford met with Leonid Brezhnev during the signing of the Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty. Would I speak with him and the current Chief of Staff about a mission I participated in at that time.  

They would like to hear what I remember about the events. Bloody hell… that was going on 48 years ago… well who am I to say no.

So here I sit… in a pub waiting for the Quartermaster, who sounded way too young for his position on the phone, and the agency Chief of Staff.  In a pub of all places… openly, going to have a “chat” about what I remember.   Definitely not protocol when I was in the game.

The least they can do is buy me a pint and Fisherman’s pie for my willingness to serve Queen and Country once more.  Bloody spies…

[dartier]

QB-E1 Project Proposal <~> Stealthflora {Headcanon}

Disguised as a fitness app (since those nosy bastards can't keep their agenty mitts to themselves).

Smart notification mode alerts a nearby Minion (or our Blessed Overlord) to their close proximity to an unmarked location of collateral damage.

Your mission is to appropriately mark the location in a floral fashion. This may be a bouquet, a single flower (consider expanding your horizons beyond red carnations) surreptitiously dropped in a zebra crossing, a flower bed, a floral crown cast into the sea at a particular set of coordinates. Just, keep it appropriate to the location.

Extra: "He did that flower thing again."

£500 prize to whomeverst picks the closest time (without surpassing) 007 cluelessly reporting "He did that flower thing again" to another agent after stalking Q like we all knows he does.

^For the poor bastards who didn’t deserve it.

^^Not to be confused with the banned yet extremely popular and HIGHLY recommended Piss On Their Grave app for the utter bastards who absolutely did.

Thanks to @dassandre-00qpidsarrow QB-V4 for the photo prompt.