#rantcore

[joyswonderland1108]

I Was Gonna Be Quiet… But the BTS Poly Agenda and Loud Baby Armies Said “No 💅”

So I’ve been debating for a while whether I should write this post about the BTS poly agenda and my thoughts on some baby Armies—SOME, calm down—not the cute ones who cry over Bangtan’s laughter. I’ve had this convo with my friends too many times, and since a few of y’all showed some interest in my unhinged opinion, here I am. I will be sending a bill after this post. PayPal info will be attached. 😌💸

Now listen. I know this whole “BTS are in a poly relationship” nonsense has been floating around for a while—like an expired balloon nobody asked for—but just like every other delulu thing, it got extra legs, a jetpack, and a Red Bull in recent years.

And OF COURSE, people always bring this mess up especially when it comes to Jikook. And we both know why. We ALL know why. Let’s not lie.

Now I’m not gonna sit here pretending I live in a cave. I know poly relationships exist. I know open relationships, queerplatonic partnerships, roommate soulmate situations—all that exists. And if that’s your thing? Cool. Live your truth. But don’t hand me a pamphlet claiming that 7 fully grown, emotionally complex men all have the exact same level of bond with each other. No. That’s ✨math that doesn’t math✨.

Ever heard “there’s always a duo in a trio”? Yup. There’s also always a bestie in a group chat. Someone you accidentally FaceTime at 2am. Someone you tell more secrets to. Someone who knows which meme will make you ugly laugh. That’s real life. So don’t come at me acting like BTS are just in a never-ending 7-way romantic circle when they can’t even group chat in peace without Yoongi disappearing and Jin sending blurry screenshots of alpacas.

I’m Jikook biased. Obviously. So if you ask ME, I’ll tell you straight-up that Jimin and Jungkook have the closest bond in the group. Not even putting on the tinfoil hat for that—this is just from using my two eyes and two ears and the one braincell that survived 2020. The members have told us. The staff have told us. The footage tells us. The atmosphere tells us. The magnetic field around them shifts when they breathe near each other.

But okay, let’s pretend I’m “neutral” for a second. Even then—you CANNOT tell me that Taejoon is the same as Namgi. That Minimoni is the same as 2Seok. That Hopeminkook gives the same energy as Jinjikook. Please be serious. You sound like an Instagram astrology reel.

Do you treat every single one of your friends exactly the same? You tell all of them the same secrets? Share the same inside jokes? Have the same connection? LIES. I see you. I see your best friend ranking list in your Notes app. You’re not slick.

So why do some ARMYs insist on flattening BTS’s relationships to some weird polyfication of emotional intimacy, as if they’re Sims on free will mode? No babes. They’re close. But they’re not a Google Doc that seven people are editing at once.

Also, can we talk about the logic here? Taehyung’s friendship with the Wooga Squad is WELL documented, right? He’s close with them. Deep bond. Does that mean he's in a poly relationship with Peakboy, Hyungshik, and the gang now too? No? Oh so now y’all go blind, deaf, and mute? Interesting.

Now onto the baby Armies. Again: some. Not all. I love baby Armies. Some of you are adorable little confused ducklings and I want to protect you. I saw someone ask on Twitter “have BTS always been this chaotic on live?” and it was honestly so sweet. Like, welcome. Here’s your starter pack. Get ready to cry over group hugs from 2015.

But some of y’all… OH. Some of y’all graduated from Tk University with honors and a minor in selective blindness.

You remember that Sophia? Sophie, whatever girl on Twitter? Homegirl watched a full OT7 live and came out of it with the revolutionary discovery that JK was touching Tae the whole time. That’s all she got. The whole group could’ve turned into Care Bears and formed a heart circle and she still would’ve been like “wait… was that a Tk wink?” People (rightfully) called her out for ignoring the existence of the other five members and what does she do? Cries. “Oh no people are being so mean to an innocent baby Army.”

BABY? She was born 5 business days ago and is already spewing delulu sh*t with the confidence of a 2018 stan war general. Innocent where? She’s writing fanfiction in her Twitter drafts and acting brand new.

And then there are the “loud and wrong” baby Armies. I saw one tweet saying that JK isn’t part of the “chronically offline” line because “he’s always been active.” Huh??? That’s because you showed up when he was lonely and waiting for his solo to drop, going live like a sleepy golden retriever who missed his pack. You don’t know the history. You don’t know the droughts. You didn’t live through Bon Voyage silence. Respect your elders.

And honestly, it’s okay to be new. You don’t have to know everything. But don’t walk into the fandom acting like a senior professor when you’ve only seen 3 TikToks and a Tk edit from TKlive channel on YouTube. Try watching actual BTS content first. Try watching Run BTS. Try Bon Voyage. In The Soop. Bangtan Bombs. Try that one awkward-ass 2013 interview where they looked like unpaid interns.

Learn about all 7 members. Not just the two that looked hot in your first fan edit. You might even end up with a bias that surprises you. But PLEASE, for the love of Namjoon’s patience, form your own opinions—not one made of recycled Twitter delusions and Tumblr tag wars from 2019.

Because if you don’t, you're just gonna end up being one of those baby ARMYs who graduate into solos, antis, and chaos goblins that make the fandom insufferable.

Whew. That was a lot of yappa yappa. But I had to say it. I feel cleansed.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m putting my Jikook tinfoil hat back on. Screw the BTS poly agenda. Jikook are married. That’s the post.

[smalltownsylph]

Okay so guys!! just got my first post out of the way! Ieeeeee omg that was that

Anywaysss now we’re getting into the real deal.

If ur seeing this and you’re still here (that’s honestly iconic of you), just know:

questions? advice? trauma bonding? petty gossip? always welcome.

Even if I give *mean girl energy* sometimes. I don’t bite (unless you’re weird).

So ask me anything, fr. I’m nosy and wise.

Now that we got THAT out of the way…

The question I wanna ask y’all is:

do you want me to start doing weekly/daily/random lore drops

of my extremely cursed, weirdly dramatic life growing up in this boring town that somehow feels like a deleted Euphoria episode??

Cuz like… when I was 15 my EX stabbed my BEST FRIEND??

(he literally went to jail. like babe be serious.)

Let me knowww

and even if no one does I’ll probably do it anyway bc the internet deserves to know.

Don’t forget: sylphette loves herself so you should too.

kisses to my 3 followers lol

Xo sylphette

[effectedfoxx]

God how I HATE -cores.

WHY do you have to be glittery-heavenly-Goddess-whose-also-a-Gremlin-core. WHY do you have to be purple-punk-high heeled-fashionista-from-the-forest-core. WHY does dark-gothic-MAGA-core need to exist. Why cant you dress however the fuck you please and then just BE that

Just because you like wearing green a bit that doesn't mean you have to hunt down a forest-gremlin-mushroom-core to be a part of. You are your own damn person with your own damn sense of style and you should allow yourself to just have that without trying to jam it into 400 different boxes. Not everything needs a name, not everything needs to be categorized, not everything needs a marketable hashtag and a moodboard. Your sense of style is unique, so fucking treat it like that.

Your style is yours, it doesn't belong to a pinterest board or a dictionaries worth of titles, so please for the love of God stop focusing on trying to make it fit into whatever cute little box you want it to, and just focus on wearing what makes you happy

[unfilteredbipolarwitch]

I wonder what you’re doing right now.

No actually it doesn’t matter.

I’m over it?

lol that was funny, wasn’t it

[xxmashaalibekxx]

I get mean when I’m nervous like a bad dog.

cop car by mitski

[derpycon]

Introducing our next community guest for DerpyCon 2025, Uncle Yo!!

Karl “Uncle Yo” Custer is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Anime Therapist working out of New York City. Since 2008, he has performed his rantcore-style of geek-specific stand-up comedy at anime, comic book, and video game conventions across the USA. He has emceed Cosplay Masquerade, Cosplay ProWrestling, Cosplay Burlesques, and presented over 300 fan-driven comic panels. Previously a podcaster, playwright, puppeteer, and creator of both YouTube’s “Dungeon Crawlers” puppet series and the “Chroniclers of Darkness” series, Custer now presents lectures driven to mental health awareness, including “Adolescent Trauma Recovery & Naruto” and “Billionaire vs Social Worker: Batman Vs Just Us.”

See more here: Derpycon.com/guests

[smalltownsylph]

first post!!,!OMGG

okay sooo

i’m sylphette. stuck in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do except spiral and talk shit.

this blog is literally just me being insane on main because my life is a soap opera and no one here gets it.

like, why is everything in this town so cursed?? why is everyone so fake??? why is the drama better than netflix???

i swear i’m not even trying and chaos still follows me around like it’s obsessed.

anyway. i made this so i can post my rants, my dumb thoughts, random pics, weird dreams, hot takes, and whatever else my brain cooks up at 2am.

it’s messy. it’s loud. it’s a little toxic but in a fun way.

not trying to be deep or inspiring or whatever. just vibing and waiting for the day i can run away to the city and never look back lol

follow if you want. or don’t. i’ll still be here being iconic and unhinged.

Xo sylphette

[derpycon]

Our next guest is Uncle Yo!

Karl “Uncle Yo” Custer is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Anime Therapist working out of New York City. Since 2008, he has performed his rantcore-style of geek-specific stand-up comedy at anime, comic book, and video games across the USA. He has emceed Cosplay masquerade, Cosplay ProWrestling, Cosplay Burlesque, and presented over 300 fan-driven, comic panels.Previously a podcaster, playwright and puppeteer and creator of both Youtube’s “Dungeon Crawlers” puppet series and the “Chroniclers of Darkness” series, Custer now presents lectures driven to mental health awareness including “Adolescent Trauma Recovery & Naruto” and “Billionaire vs Social Worker: Batman Vs Just Us.”

https://derpycon.com/guests/

[tora-con]

🧡 Two fan favorites are back: EmpathP and Uncle Yo! 🧡 EmpathP (otherwise known as Aki Glancy) is an American musician, illustrator, and Producer. Specializing in the creation of original VOCALOID works, her credits include illustrating the Celtic English VOCALOID “AVANNA” and voice-providing for the American English VOCALOID “DAINA”. Currently she is the manager and sponsor of VOCAMERICA. Uncle Yo returns to the stage with his signature brand of humor. Panel leader, emcee, playwright, storyteller, puppeteer, podcaster, solar wizard, and more, he combines long-form stories with motivational rhyming couplets as part of his signature "rantcore" style and leaves his audiences laughing. ✨Full information at toracon.org/guests-2019 ✨

[xxmashaalibekxx]

This is what happens when people try to harass me online, which means that I was offended by them… Even on Instagram, people seriously treated me really badly and I got easily offended by those people on Instagram, even back in 2021.

i can defeat all the computer people >:3

[holynerdypodcast]

New episode this Wednesday with returning special guest Eddie Medina

[xxmashaalibekxx]

The online advertising on YouTube is literally so fucking bad that it pisses me off, and I think there might be some more research to do on online ads or something, good god

[xxmashaalibekxx]

HOW DO YOU DO IT?!

Someone please call the ambulance, because my brain just shut down. It couldn’t handle all of this madness.

Last time I checked I had about 10-15 followers I think? Now I have 60+!! Jan and Berry started following me, now PaletteSwap!! I call madness, madness I say!!

[xxmashaalibekxx]

Yes, this is a vent.

Also, this drawing made me feel a tiny bit better.

Thank you, @elizachangreaves, for drawing this.

Enjoy ;u;

"My poor child... How someone could betray you like that..?"

(I think this is the best illustration I did)

[unfilteredbipolarwitch]

Our Nature's I used to think we were against each other's nature, but now I realize it goes much deeper than that. You were born in the light and I, darkness but the dark felt very much like a home to you & I appreciate all the effort you put into me. But even when the light abandons you, the dark is not your home. I don't say this to hurt you, no in fact, it hurts me more. I know it does. I wanted the dark to be your home too, like it was mine but you rejected everything I knew until you finally rejected me. Now here we are, in this middle space. I can look out the window of my home & see you there, killing anything that stands in your way, but I can't kill for I am weak & it hurts my heart. You hurt my heart. I wanted to scream so you would hear me but you snuffed me out. Now I'm supposed to lead the pursuit? One that's practically a fantasy, made up in my head?

(P.S I also don't want your crush to murder me, be so foreal she hated me)

God, why?

God, why?

God, why?

God, why?