#rather difficult to see things will get easier when I've been stuck in this shit for years

[poetic-emptiness-fanfic]

Rant in the tags, I don’t bother to write it in a post bc why would I

[icebrooding]

Honestly even though I didn’t have the same negative reaction that much of the online gw2 community did, I do kinda appreciate some of the learnings for story they outlined in the retrospective 😅

I agree completely. I personally loved Secrets of the Obscure, I rate it very highly while acknowledging that it definitely had flaws. Handling as many new characters and lore topics was going to be difficult, and I understand the frustration of people who felt that things felt a bit underwhelming or glossed over, I really do. I feel it myself.

Personally, however, I think those things affected me less because I've always been rather focused towards story, and digging as much out of it as I can in a rather aggressive way, in almost everything I enjoy, and that allows me a different (not necessarily deeper) level of enjoyment. Sometimes I may come to conclusions or thoughts that may not be there actually, or may not have been the intent, but the enjoyable thing is that art is subjective, and if nothing comes out to specifically say 'this reading is wrong', I can satisfy myself with those interpretations.

Why else do you think I can sit here and write essays on 'here's why X character makes me think they're like Y based on one throwaway line or an implication in a piece of lore in a book I found on the overworld' :P

This is definitely how SotO appealed to me, because there was a lot there that I could dig into personally and get my mental cogs ticking. But on the same note, I get why people want more concrete answers, more time spent on developing new threads. I would have loved SotO to be longer, myself, because I truly enjoyed the world and characters it brought to the table. That's what Wildflowers will be for--

Gameplay, I think could have definitely been improved. While I wasn't particularly fussed with the first or last Nayos release, the middle one is where I felt the impact hardest. But I do enjoy things like Rift Hunting, Convergences, etc, I just pace my time. I know that's easier for me though since I only started playing in '22.

I appreciate the transparency on this front, in all honesty. I've only dabbled into game dev myself in times long past (I feel old, but I'm really not), and can understand the need to push out an excuse for why x or y didn't turn out as expected, but I can respect flat-out saying 'we tried to do too much, and we failed to achieve what we set out to'.

And with the certain extreme-level volatile reactions in other sections of this player base, I think recognising that treating the places where SotO tripped over itself as something not done maliciously is important. Not saying that criticism isn't deserved, but I have seen some genuinely horrific things said that make me feel ashamed to be part of this community.

All in all, I'm going to hold my faith in the next expansion and am greatly looking forward to it, and seeing how these lessons take. I've stuck through way worse in other MMOs, so one expac that struggled to handle everything it set out to do is barely a blip on my radar.

And I feel this is the best moment to bring up my general blog's attitude: it's no secret how horribly negative this playerbase can be, to the point I've had to turn off map chat a number of times because the negativity is so constant it is genuinely bad for my mental health. I have fairly severe depression, I do not need to sit here and wallow in even more negativity. I think too much of the world as it is right now thrives off of negativity and hating things and not being happy, so when I talk about story beats or characters, etc, I always try to do so in a positive way. I'm just here to enjoy something that's come to mean a lot to me, not to sit here and hear for the eightieth time about why X is a shit character or Y is the worst thing that ever happened or Z blah blah blah.

[jaskiersvalley]

Oh my god im the anon with the cuckoowitcher ask. I've been running around all day trying to have a few quiet Moments to read! I really loved it thank you so much. I've been reading all your lovely Storys but I have to say I have a Soft Spot for cuckoo Jas. Thank you for responding and writing something so sweet. Still love your writing and it still helps a hell a lot! Lots of love! Hope to see much more

Some people get stuck in my head and you, cuckoo Jaskier Nonnie, are one of those people because you’re always so polite and sweet. So while I may not have more cuckoo Jaskier stories at the moment, I wonder whether you’d like something else. There’s a lot of warlord Geralt going around, with Jaskier offered up as a tribute. But has anybody ever considered warlord Jaskier before?

It had started off as a side gig, Jaskier would always be adamant about that. He had wanted to be a bard. Sing songs, witness adventures and maybe be adored by the masses, that was his grand plan for life. Unfortunately, being a travelling bard didn’t pay well and people weren’t as quick to laud him as Jaskier had hoped. However, according to Redanian Secret Services, he was in the unique position to help them gather intelligence. So, on the side as Jaskier collected materials for his greatest works yet, he also picked up intel on armies, prisoners, relationships between factions, species and kingdoms. It was quite eye opening.

The only problem with it all was that Jaskier wasn’t stupid. He could see where wars were brewing, what allegiances were being forged. And, really, Jaskier thought he could do so much better. The information he was returning back to Redania wasn’t being used in the best way possible. So Jaskier started tailoring the information to ‘help’ them along. He had also managed to make friends with a few of the other intelligence officers, namely Valdo and Priscilla. Between the three of them, they had quite a spread of information and spent many a drunken night gossiping over maps, discussing how they would solve the problems of the continent.

One thing led to another and suddenly Jaskier had more than two fellow spies at his beck and call. Somehow he’d ended up with the loyalty of the dwarves, Zoltan and his crew being quite helpful. Then Filavandrel and his elves entered a truce with Jaskier, followed by Triss Merigold and a handful of sorceresses. It was haphazard at best but word travelled. And suddenly Jaskier was being approached by the Redanian Secret Service not as a spy but as an equal. They wanted to trade information and Jaskier almost laughed. Except, after Redania came Nilfgaard, offering riches in exchange for information and good relations. Not like Jaskier had an army or lands or anything like that. Did he? The dwarves and elves had their own regions, Redania was trying to save face that their own officers had done a better job of keeping the peace. Well, there was no harm in keeping on good terms with Nilfgaard, they had been the thorn in the continent’s side for a while. Maybe by being friendly, Jaskier and co could actually help settle issues.

When Temeria took umbrage at Jaskier’s meddling, it was one hell of an awkward moment because Redania, Nilfgaard, elves, dwarves and even Aedirn joined forces to quiet the unrest. Which was a turning point of sorts. Suddenly, every kingdom great or small came knocking on Jaskier’s door. He’d returned to Lettenhove because home was home. The steady stream of well wishers and ambassadors was, frankly, embarrassing. Jaskier had a hard time keeping up with everything.

Then there was the matter of Kaedwen. They were trying to be fiercely independent and up in arms. It just wasn’t going to do and, for the first time in his life, Jaskier asked his newfound allies if anyone was willing to raise arms against the threat. Unsurprisingly, Nilfgaard was down for a battle or two but they were joined by the elves. Redania offered medical assistance while the dwarves and trolls helped with supplies. It was all rather anticlimactic, an army marching to Kaedwen, only to be greeted by a white flag.

Not all battles were so easy though, sometimes factions arose, Cintra was being a royal twit and the war fought with them and Skellige was brutal. In the end though, they were defeated, Queen Calanthe had to admit defeat. Despite this, they weren’t prepared to roll over and play nice. In an attempt to display might and dignity, they sent the most extravagant offerings to Lettenhove. It wasn’t riches, no silks, no finery or gold. Instead, they had captured the most difficult of offerings. A witcher.

He was trussed up in his own silver chains. Silver for monsters as witchers had been known to say. It was a warning from Cintra, they had caught the most feared of beasts, the monster designed to kill all monsters. They wouldn’t bow down to a warlord, no matter what the kingdoms thought and did. The witcher was tied to a horse and made to walk behind it though a shuffle was a more apt description.

Jaskier stood in the hall of Lettenhove and watched as the half starved wretch was shoved to his knees in front of him. A hungry witcher was a weak one, much easier to subdue and manage.

“A gift, from Cintra,” the messenger had declared and stepped away with a bow.

Approaching the witcher, Jaskier ignored how every eye seemed trained on him, hands on swords and prepared to leap to his protection. Rather than pay them any attention, Jaskier sank to his knees in front of the witcher.

“Hello,” he offered. There was no response, the witcher’s head was bowed, whole body tense, trying to exude disdain and an air of threat. Up close, Jaskier could see the fine tremors through muscles though. He stood up. “Please pass my thanks to Cintra, I accept your fealty and this offering. Though I would request no more live tributes. Or dead ones! Gold, silks, food and shared knowledge is more than enough. Court dismissed.”

Nobody moved for a moment. “Everyone out!”

Jaskier stood next to the witcher who hadn’t moved throughout the exchange. As soon as they were alone, he was crouching down, tugging at the silver chains.

“You poor thing, how could they treat you like that.” Gradually, the witcher was freed from his bonds and as soon as he could, he had Jaskier’s own dagger at Jaskier’s throat. “Harsh,” Jaskier observed, “but fair. Can we save the killing for after dinner though? I have always found having a full stomach helped with most decisions.”

He didn’t expect the witcher to waver, the dagger fall from his hands and for him to collapse on the ground in a dead faint. It seemed that springing on Jaskier had really been the last of his energy. What a waste.

Needless to say, there was no killing after dinner. Jaskier learned that the witcher was called Geralt, he’d been to Cintra to collect his child surprise but Queen Calanthe had different ideas. Trapped, Geralt had been helpless to do anything which was how he’d ended up becoming an offering to a warlord.

That had Jaskier laughing. He wasn’t a warlord. If anything, Jaskier was a failed bard and a very bad intelligence officer because he thought he could do better than those he worked for. It wasn’t his fault people were pledging their allegiances to him or that he had to ask if anyone was willing to help deal with a threat to the peace that he was bringing to the continent. No, Jaskier wasn’t a warlord because he helped bring new rules to kingdoms and enforced them. Oh shit. He was a warlord. His parents were going to be so pissed off when they found out.

“I think they already know,” Geralt had interrupted Jaskier’s internal panic. “You might have been the last person on the continent to find out.”

“But I didn’t mean to become one.”

“I didn’t mean to become a witcher. Destiny is a bitch.” Geralt had shrugged. “At least you get to choose who you will speak to from different kingdoms. Is Emhyr over the fact you won’t talk to him yet? That you picked some general of his army as a representative”

Jaskier rubbed the back of his neck with an awkward grin. “I mean, I just figured the Emperor of Nilfgaard himself wouldn’t want to deal with me. So I picked someone who would and who I liked. Then I heard of what Emhyr’s like and just decided I liked my pick better.”

Over the course of a week, Geralt ate and rested, gaining back his strength and resilience. Jaskier admired from afar, astounded by how quickly his witcher seemed to bounce back. Not his witcher. Geralt didn’t belong to anyone. Even if Jaskier quite fancied the idea.

“You’re free to come and go. I’ve set out a new law that’s making its way round the lands. Witchers are to be lauded and appreciated for their hard work,” Jaskier said as he stood, facing Geralt by the stables. His witcher was ready to head out on the Path again, hopefully it was going to be a little easier for him from now on.

“Thank you.” The thing was, Geralt sounded so earnestly genuine. “I was wondering, could you keep something safe for me until I return?”

An unusual request but Jaskier would help if he could.

“You’ve been a wonderful guest, even if your arrival wasn’t the most wholesome one. I’ll keep anything safe for you.”

He didn’t anticipate Geralt leaning in to kiss him chastely. “Keep my heart safe. I’m leaving it in your good care.”

The bastard then had the gall to hop onto his horse and ride off without a backwards glance. Jaskier was going to tell him exactly what he thought of that tactic when he came back. Until then, he would treasure Geralt’s heart, even if he didn’t have time to officially give his own in return.

[fairycosmos]

i hate grief bc i've wanted to die my whole life and thinking about the person i lost never wanted to make me stay but now that they are the ones who died i'm angry as fuck every day and feel trapped but i know that if it had been me the one to die it would have been ok and i wouldnt even have worried about it/hurting ppl with my death. like every day i do H and get drunk and i dont care about dying you know? but i lost someone and it makes me angry that THEY didnt care. do you get what i mean?

i am really really sorry for your loss. yeah. i know what you mean, at least to an extent. everyone’s grief and suffering is unique to them and the relationship they had with the one who passed, but i can relate so much to being trapped and mad and out of my mind. i think a lot of people can. it seems like so many of us are walking around half disillusioned by this existence and half completely done with it because of the shit we’ve been through. every day i feel a form of anger (most of the time it is cold and numbing) when i think about how my sister died. i have gone round and round in my head about why she did the things she did. because even if it wasn’t fully preventable, it wasn’t cancer or a car crash or anything like that. when i found out what she had in her system. god. i can not explain to you what that moment was like. it fucking choked me. all i remember is i felt my heart beating somewhere in my head, and i was PISSED. i thought i was going to pass out. because it’s like you said - she didn’t care, and that was almost like proof. she went to sleep thinking nothing of anything. mindless. after weeks of lecturing her, after her constant presence in my life, all that time. after years of her fucking around w other drugs and finally finding stability only to slip for less than a month bc of some fucking man, only to lose her entire life to a mistake - it’s inexplicable. i can sit here and write to you about it but i still cant’t fathom it. how she didn’t give a fuck, or she couldn’t see the situation clearly enough to. and now i’m living this forever without her. now i have to take care of my mother alone. now i’ve lost my best friend. and she lost everything. she was a whole person, she would’ve had years left and she deserved to. and the only reason she didn’t is because she couldn’t fuckin accept how much she was worth, how much life was worth so she gambled w death. what i’m saying is i understand that in a way, maybe a selfish way, i don’t know -  it almost feels mocking. because we’ll never know if they realize what they’ve done. after she died that’s all i could repeat out loud in the shower. i kept saying: you don’t know what you’ve done. idiot, stupid girl. shit like that. every time i tried to talk to her, it was a lecture. so yeah. it is very very normal to be pissed off and bitter dude. it is not easy or fair to be left behind. it’s all a normal part of grief. losing it entirely is the whole thing because honestly what else can you do.

i could be wrong but. unfortunately i think all of these emotions, in the context of you, stem from the fact that it is easier to care for others than it is to care about yourself. you’re not bothered about yourself dying because you don’t have the same love for yourself that you had for the one who passed. you don’t see yourself as important in that way. i don’t know what happened to make you feel like that. maybe whatever it was lead you to use drugs n alcohol to escape in the first place. maybe you think you not mattering is some sort of universal truth, but it’s not. it’s a belief you constructed either out of pain or as a trauma response that you’ve clung onto so much that you’ve convinced yourself it’s reality. it’s clear you’re going through an insurmountably difficult time, and i know words on a screen aren’t going to change that. i wont pretend to get it first hand. i just want you to know that the same way you wish your friend had realized the worth in their life before it was too late, that same anger born from frustration and sadness - that’s how a lot of people likely feel about you. and i know you don’t care about hurting them w your death because you don’t care about anything. your friend didn’t care, why should you, right? but that’s how the cycle perpetuates. and you’re the one who has to live with this all now, stuck here or not. try to periodically and consciously recognize how fucked up and permanent grief is. you don’t want to be the one to cause it. not really. not when you can see it for what it is and you have the option to prevent it. you are here no matter how much you wish not to be. you do deserve to find substantial peace, stability and good health while you still can. that’s non negotiable. even if it takes a fucking life time getting there.

i completely understand that it is all far easier said than done. that you have to be the one who is willing to reach out for help and to really stick w a plan but. i guess i just hope you know that the option will always be waiting for you when you are willing to seek it out. whether it’s through a hotline, rehab, your doctor, your friends and family, 2 hours without using or drinking. any step in the right direction is commendable. you are absolutely more resilient than you realize. more in general than you realize. you’ve had to deal with so much, just the most unimaginable things, and you’re still here. i know that’s because you feel you have no real choice in the matter, back to being trapped here. but nonetheless you’re making it. you can learn to treat yourself w the same regard that you treated your friend. you can learn to care about what happens to you. you can slowly make a home out of what you currently see as a jail.  through talking, through implementing healthier coping mechanisms into your daily life, through building a support system, through confronting and processing how much it hurts, through finding the clarity that comes with progress. all the things your brain wants you to write off. addiction and mental illness are genuine health concerns that require long lasting therapy and treatment just like any other ailment. and maybe the point is to learn to live with them, rather than to cure them entirely. but they are not a death sentence (and that is a good thing), and they are not the entirety of you. you are just currently very overwhelmed by them, understandably so.  excuse me if this is all sounds like naïve bullshit, but maybe some day you will be able to take some of it on board if you can’t right now. anyway, it sounds cliche as fuck, but every day that you’re alive you’re keeping your friend’s influence on this world alive too. you were shaped by them, in more ways than you realize. and they’re here in more ways than we realize too. not necessarily ghosts, at least imo. but just around. and in your head, in the universe. i am rooting for you so much and i hope you can accept that even if it all feels like lies, it’s ok to treat yourself w kindness. any attempt is good enough. sending a lot of love your way. please take care of yourself as much as possible. please consider your needs and your well being while you still have the choice to. sorry to go all 90s drug prevention ad on you btw, but u know me. i’m incapable of shutting up and minding my business abt this sort of thing lol

[punkrock-writer]

Space Cowboy- part 5

Never Fight a Man With a Perm

Pairing- Din Djarin x F!OC 

Warnings- Swearing, Mentions Blood, Canon Typical Violence. The Gang from Chapter 6 are dicks. 

A/N- Howdy!! I’m so sorry this took so long to come out. I had a bad case of brain rot this past week and did not want to type, but it’s here and I hope ya’ll like it! I’m kind of nervous about this chapter because this was the situation that inspired the entire story, so please let me know what you think! 

I’m going to try to have the next chapter out quicker! Put who knows, I got worms in my brain! 

Masterlist AO3 

After almost taking another roll around the ship — thanks to Din's lack of a warning — Sedona was now aware of what hyperspace felt like. It was actually rather calm, quiet, and still. She wished she could see it, but she didn't really know if she should attempt to enter the cockpit. Instead, turning to face her bags, she figured it was a good time to get some real clothes on. The child cooed sadly when she set him down in the sleeping compartment, and though she hated to, she ignored him and knelt by her suitcase. Searching for something somewhat warm through the clothes that were packed for Florida was proving difficult. She settled on black leggings, an old grey Ron Jon Surf Shop hoodie, and a pair of soft crew socks. A sports bra and a fresh pair of underwear completed the 'look' and she gathered her things and headed to the shower room.

Not before quickly turning back and grabbing her deodorant, because, yuck.

With a deep breath, she decided it was finally time to look at herself.

Nothing was exciting or truly different to note about the person reflected back to her in the foggy mirror. It was the same girl, blue eyes, short brown hair, but now there was a brand new massive bruise on her left temple. Her dark circles were deeper, and her eyes were tired. But other than the wound there was nothing new. She discarded her pajamas, and slipped into the clean clothes, she never thought it would feel this good to be fully covered. Her arms all the way to her toes now concealed in comfortable fabric, and she was grateful. She quickly put her hair into a folded bun, and set to her second task, putting that extra bacta patch on her head.

Peli made it look much easier. Whatever it was, was slimy and hard to get a grip on, but once it was placed, it stuck. So now she had a slightly lopsided, oversized band-aid on her head. And she knew it was going to hurt like a bitch to yank out of her hair. Taking one last look in the mirror, she sighed.

Honestly, she looked like she was about to go take a plane trip back home, and it tugged her heart a little bit.

Shaking her head she picked her things back up and opened the door to exit into the hull. A shiny helmet of beskar startled her, he must've just jumped down from the cockpit, as he was facing her through the ladder. She tried not to think too much about the way he stared for a bit too long, most likely just assessing her change in appearance. Before she could say anything he turned sharply, stepping over to where the child pouted in the sleeping compartment. She scooted by them, heading to put her things back in her bag. And when she straightened up to see what he was doing, he was already halfway up the ladder, taking the child with him.

Sedona tried not to dwell on it too much, it's not like he knew her, he barely even trusted her. He didn't owe her any more kindness than he was already giving her. But it really didn't help when she felt like she knew him. She needed to get that idea out of her head, she didn't know jack shit about what went through his head. Seeing someone on screen is so much different than actually being around them, and Sedona had to make sure she didn't get too comfortable too fast— she couldn't afford any slip-ups. So for now she would take it slow, tiptoe around the Crest, and do what she needed to do when called.

In pursuit of being quiet, she decided now might be a good time to check her phone. She settled herself in the sleeping compartment, purse in her lap, and plucked it from the bag. The time read 10:34 am, and obviously, there was no way of telling if that was right. Her calendar read two days since she had been ripped from her hotel room, and she was pretty sure that would be reliable. As long as she had some way of knowing how long she'd been here, she could keep herself grounded.

It didn't even cross her mind that she should try to find some way to get back home.

Sedona dozed off after a while, curled around her purse in the sleeping compartment. Her circadian rhythm was thrown off, or maybe it was like some kind of space-sickness. She was just tired, and she didn't know what else to do. The plot was getting scrambled in her head, and until Din jogged her mind in some way, she wasn't going to risk getting a headache thinking about it.

So she slept, the soft hum of hyperspace lulling her into relaxation, no matter how uncomfortable the bed was.

~o~o~o~

That was how Din found her a few hours later. Curled like a lothcat around one of her smaller bags. The child gurgled in happiness at the sight of her— he was the reason they were down there, wailing incessantly at the ladder. He didn't understand why he liked her so much, but if he trusted anyone, it was the child. So he set him down next to her knees, a position they had just recently been in. The child began climbing up her legs, and Din could only look on in amusement as she grumbled something incoherent.

The toddler reached his intended destination, her shoulder, and began to tap his tiny hands on her cheek. Din couldn't stop a small smile from breaking his features, thankful for the helmet once again. Her eyes popped open, panic clear on her features as she turned to look at what was tapping her face, and a smile overtook her.

"Hey little guy, how'd you get up there." Din pretended not to notice the roughness of her voice or the sleepy smile that turned to face him. "Oh I see now, you had an accomplice."

She slowly sat up, taking care to hold the child steady. She folded her legs in front of her, setting him in her lap. The child smiled up at him, and before he could stop himself, a gloved hand reached out and stroked his ear. Din wasn't used to showing affection in front of others, especially people he didn't fully trust. But the atmosphere was so relaxed, and it seems his body reacted before his mind could stop it.

"Did we stop somewhere?" Her quiet voice broke him out of his trance, his head snapped back up to meet hers. She looked worried, her eyes searched the helmet, and her teeth caught her bottom lip. Din told himself he was just observing a possible threat, analyzing her tells.

Subconsciously, that was a different story.

"No," he paused to clear his throat when it came out in a whisper. "I've picked up a job, I'm changing our course, and we'll be there in an hour... I just—" well Din didn't really know why exactly he felt the need to warn her. "I just wanted to know if you had... anything to tell me." Right, just trying to get information. Her eyes seemed to light up in recognition, her brow furrowed in concentration.

"Who- or what is the job exactly." She looked confused still, her eyes zoned in on something in the distance, deep in thought.

"It's with an old... acquaintance of mine." His voice was rougher than he intended, still not really enjoying the idea of the job. But by the way her eyes darkened, he knew it was probably going to be a big mistake.

~o~o~o~

Sedona's mind instantly hooked onto the information and dragged it from the depths of the scramble. This situation, she knew well. This episode, she had watched, many times. For the plot... not for the way the red lights danced off beskar or the amazingly hot fight scenes.

No for the plot.

She knew what she needed to do.

"They betray you, they're going to try and shove you in a cell and leave you there... and a droid tries to shoot the baby— and they're all massive dicks, every one of them." Okay. That sounded crazy, she didn't mean for everything to tumble out like that. According to the way Din suddenly stood straight and alert, she probably didn't say the right things. "Wait... but you get out of it, no one gets hurt— except for the assholes— but they deserved it a-and you get money."

He just stood there, still as a rock. She couldn't imagine how all of that sounded to him. He probably didn't even know what the mission was supposed to be, and she had already informed him it was doomed from the start.

Yeah, I gotta work on the info delivery.

He let out a long sigh. His fingers twitched at his side, he probably would've rubbed his forehead in frustration if he could. She could feel herself shrinking in the silence, she unconsciously held onto the baby in her lap a little tighter. He cooed at her, seemingly sensing her anxiety. His little 3 clawed hands tapped at hers that held his waist.

"Well... like I said, an hour." He then turned and quickly made his way to the ladder. Climbing into the cockpit in almost record time. Sedona let a long sigh escape her, bringing one hand up to rub her eyes. She wasn't tired anymore, anxiety had squandered that quickly.

She had to either, A. Figure out some way to keep Din from being tricked and captured. Or B. Make sure Grogu doesn't alert the droid of his presence. For some reason, the situation felt wrong. She knew this mission was on course to go sour, but there was a bad feeling whispering at the edges of her mind.

Everything was feeling super, extra, bad and it was making her stomach hurt.

Or maybe she was just fucking starving.

Sedona realized she had never eaten the 'bar' Peli had given her. And an all-liquid diet the day before probably wasn't helping her whole, situation. Moving the child from her lap, she placed her feet on the ground. Thankful for her socks as the cold of the metal seeped through the fabric. She walked over to her suitcase— not really remembering where she had put the food— the entire evening leading up to her fight with Toro was a blur. When she didn't find it in her purse, she searched through her suitcase. Her hands touched the foil wrapping, and suddenly there was another presence at her side.

The little green gremlin was a bloodhound for food, it was like he read her mind and teleported to her. Letting out an excited squeal when she brought the bar into view, Sedona couldn't help but laugh with him. Sitting cross-legged in front of her suitcase she invited him to sit with her. And with more adorable grunts and snorts he sat down in between her legs, eyes never leaving the bar.

"Okay we can share, but don't tell your dad" she whispered, he made a soft coo in response. The bar looked like someone had put a granola bar through a grinder, and then reformed it back into a bar. Not exactly the most appetizing thing, but food was food, and the little guy seemed excited. She broke off a small piece— yes she had witnessed the child swallow a frog whole— but he was so little in front of her, so she went by baby rules and gave him something small. He grabbed it in his little hands, and then she broke off a piece for herself.

It was dry, and tasted kind of like a protein bar, but not at all like a protein bar. It was just different, but with the way the child inhaled it, she knew it was probably worth eating. They carried on like this till it was gone, Grogu munching happily, not minding the crumbs that fell into his lap. She was able to choke it down with the assistance of the water bottle that still sat in her purse. But eating didn't seem to help the way her stomach twisted in worry. When she wasn't distracting herself by watching the child, her mind wandered dangerously.

She couldn't tell if the walls her mind had put up the moment she dropped on the Crest were finally crumbling. Or if something was actually wrong. Her head was starting to hurt again, and now with a stomach ache, she felt like she was starting to break down. She needed another distraction.

Crumbling up the wrapper she turned to her suitcase. The child babbled a little, probably wondering if she had more food. Instead, she was just looking for anything; she moved through everything in the bag, toiletries, bras, a journal. And then she felt something solid. Her boots! She had honestly figured she didn't have any shoes here. Those had been the first thing to come out of her suitcase when she got to her hotel. But now, pulling her work boots from the depths, it was the first time she had actually been excited to see them. They were beat up hiking boots, with the perfect amount of ankle support and non-slip bottom to make it in space.

"Well, are you gonna let me put these on or what?" She said to the child in her lap, he tilted his head with a coo. She slowly started to straighten her legs, he made a squeal and then started to wiggle away from her. She laughed, helping him get off her lap and setting him to the side. He grunted, loudly, instantly very mad at her. She chuckled again, trying not to notice the way her hands shook as she began to lace up her boots.

Grogu toddled over to the ladder, reaching his arms up toward the cockpit. She couldn't help the smile, she finished tying her boots, standing, and headed over to the child. He was hanging from the 3rd rung of the ladder, obviously getting his speed from his father, she was able to catch him just as his 3 fingers slid off the metal. She rose and looked up with anticipation, obviously he wanted to go up there, and that meant she would have to... talk to Din.

She swallowed, but the baby in her arms let out an impatient squeal, reaching his arms up. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Um... D-Mando" she called, catching herself on the name quickly. "G-The kid wants to come up, i-is it alright if I bring him up." She hated the way she was stumbling through this, it shouldn't be that difficult to ask, but she almost shaking in fear at the prospect of being dropped off on the next planet. Her subconscious was telling her the Din she knew wouldn't do that, but this wasn't the Din she 'knew', this was a stranger. God, why did this have to be so complicated?

There was a long daunting pause. "Just don't touch anything." She let out a sigh of relief, and quickly attempted the climb to the cockpit. Proving to be much trickier with one hand. Her head breached the hole, and in front of her was something amazing. The cockpit of the Razor Crest lit up with the blue streaks of hyperspace. She stopped, awestruck at all of the buttons and levers, all of the details laid out before her. She didn't even notice the child wiggling out of her grasp.

It was beautiful, but also so terrifying. She watched the expanse of space whiz by, something her mind could've never been able to comprehend. And as she stared, she didn't notice when the pilot's chair slowly turned.

"You can come inside." She jumped at his voice, eyes meeting the helmet she didn't know was facing her. She quickly shut her mouth, just now realizing Grogu had made his way to Din's lap. Slowly, she finished the climb up the ladder and found herself at the door to the cockpit. Tentatively she stepped inside, eyes still wide in wonder, and made her way to the chair behind Din's left shoulder. He turned back to the controls, or more back to making sure the child didn't touch anything. She sat down slowly, still not entirely certain this was all real.

Swirling blue was constantly moving above and before her, it was mesmerizing, she felt herself getting lost in it. She could probably look at it for the rest of her life. It was the perfect distraction. Or until someone broke her from her daze, but she didn't expect that to happen anytime soon. Instead, she sat quietly, trying to take up as little space in the room as she could. Her thoughts were pushed to the back of her mind, she was allowed this brief moment of peace.

Sedona had held it together surprisingly well, though it was more likely she was in shock. Numb is what she would call it, seeing everything moving around her, but she didn't really feel it. A mild form of disassociation is probably what a therapist would tell her, her body was in survival mode while her brain just followed, screaming from the shadows. But at this current moment, her mind was quiet, the rolling blue was enough.

Comfortable silence, the baby sleeping, his snores being the only thing breaking through the hum of hyperspace. The pair sat quietly for what seemed to be a long time. It was the first moments of calm both had experienced at the same time, hopefully, it wouldn't be the last. In the past, the silence would have irked her, gnawed at her stomach. She probably would've started a conversation with anyone in the room. But now, it felt okay, her mind felt at ease for the first time since she'd got here. She ignored the voice that whispered, maybe it's him.

A sudden beeping broke through the serene atmosphere, Sedona jumped, while Din only moved his helmet. His hands reached out to flick some switches and punch some buttons.

She secretly wished she might be able to figure out what it all meant, but she wasn't going to get her hopes up.

"We're dropping out of hyperspace, hold on." It was an off-hand comment she realized because she didn't even have time to straighten in her spine when the ship seemed to lurch forward. Her hands flew to her sides, gripping the seat quickly. With the sudden movement, all of her anxieties flew into her throat. And as another giant space ship came into view, another emotion came forward.

Rage.

"Oh, those fuckers." The words were growled out before she even knew her mouth was open. Her eyes widening in surprise as a T-shaped visor snapped to face her. She could only shrug in response, it was the truth. Deep down, she was glad to know her shock-induced state hadn't taken everything from her, she could still talk some smack.

That was going to cause problems.

"You're staying on the ship, with the child." He had turned back to the controls, grasping the handles with gloved hands. The child in question had just woken up, cooing curiously at the scene change. "Make sure he doesn't cause any trouble, or whatever you said happens." She heard him and understood. But she was focused on trying to figure out how the hell she was going to hold her tongue when she knew what was about to happen. Din seemed to notice her unease, his helmet shifted slightly toward her, most likely confused by the white-knuckle grip she still had on the seat.

"You're going to have to gag me." The realization came suddenly, it was the only way, she did not trust herself to keep quiet. Din fully spun to face her now, even without seeing his face she could tell he was surprised and mad. She aimed for his eyes beneath the black visor, "It's the only way to shut me up." He let out a long sigh, that ended more in a frustrated growl.

"Are you serious?" His voice was sharp, serious disbelief. She nodded, it was ridiculous she knew, but with all the choice words swirling in her head, and the way she didn't have full control of herself, it really was the only way. With another growl-sigh he leaned down, ripping off a strip of material from his cape, and handed it to her, then he more or less shoved the child in her lap. "Just go— take him to the sleeping compartment, and... do it yourself."

She stood and left quickly, not wanting to anger him further. She staggered her way down the ladder, Grogu laughing at her struggles. She was panicking, her eyes darted over everything quickly, setting the child in the compartment she went over to her things. She zipped her suitcase closed, then hooked the handle to one of the nets that hung on the wall, hoping that would keep it out of way. Then with her purse, she made her way over to Grogu and climbed in after him. He babbled excitedly, not picking up on the frazzled emotions that were rolling off her in waves.

"We are going to have a totally chill time in here." She said to the child, though it was also mostly to herself. She adjusted till her back was against the wall, and allowed Grogu to clamber onto her lap. "It's gonna be totally cool and nothing bad is going to happen, alright?" Her voice had risen multiple octaves, and it seemed the gremlin had finally caught on to her panic. He tilted his head at her, making a much smaller, almost sadder sound. She instantly felt bad; making shushing noises, she rubbed his little back as he pouted up at her. The ship started to wobble, Din was maneuvering it into the bigger space ship, she held onto the little creature. And with a big thump, they were stopped.

Sedona let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Grogu's ears seemed to perk up at that, he settled down onto her lap. Listening carefully to the noises above her, she could hear Din moving around before steps began to descend on the ladder. He paused in front of the compartment, carefully observing the situation. Sedona could only stare back, doing her best not to let him know how scared she was, but he probably had a fear sensor on his helmet. Before he could turn away her voice betrayed her again.

"Di-Mando... could I have a weapon." It was a whisper, she was doing the best she could to hold herself together. But this was becoming more and more real by the second. He stared at her for much longer than she wanted, even Grogu made a small whine at the atmosphere. Then his hand moved to his wrist, tapping something, and a compartment opened adjacent to the one she was in. She peaked around the corner, eyes widening at all of the weapons laid out. And she almost laughed at the sight of her pink taser, placed there among all of the space gadgets. He grabbed that, setting it in front of her.

Without a word, he turned, fingers working at his wrist again. Almost simultaneously, the weapons doors and the door to her compartment shut. While the side ship door opened. She and Grogu were alone in the dimly lit compartment. He turned to look at her, head tilting in confusion. And she could only shrug in response.

There was silence on the ship for what felt like hours. Sedona and Grogu sat quietly, only the child breaking the silence with his babbles. She would shush him quickly; not really knowing when the crew would be joining the ship, and she didn't want their cover blown sooner than it needed to be. When his fussing became a bit more persistent, she gave him her keys that were still tucked in her purse. His big eyes widened further, entranced by the shiny metal and jingles.

Because how else do you calm a baby you don't know what to do with, you give it your keys. Fuck.

A heavy sigh passed through her as she leaned her head back against the wall. She's trying desperately to keep her emotions under control, obviously, Grogu could sense them, so if she was calm, he was calm. And that was most important right now. Her mind was constantly on edge, just waiting for something to happen. She didn't want to tie her mouth yet, fearing it would startle the child. Instead, she chewed on her lip, distracted by the soft tinkling of her keys.

The wait was soon over.

Metallic footsteps were making their way up the ramp. Thinking fast she tied the strip of fabric around her mouth, then held the child close. He cooed, moving his head up to face her before his ears flicked up in surprise. She tried to give him a smile.

It definitely looked absolutely horrifying.

His little features contorted into a frown, and a whimper was heard before the footsteps on the ship drew closer. They both snapped their heads to stare at the unmoving compartment door. Ears perked, listening closely as she heard someone ascend to the cockpit. There were noises outside of the ship, people were gathering, she felt her heart rate increase sharply. She squeezed them further into the corner of the compartment. The mattress creaked so loudly in the silence, but thankfully the noises coming from above them seemed to drown it out.

Her brain had ceased its flow of information. She wasn't sure who entered the ship first, it could be Din for all she knew. But she knew there were about to be a lot more people, and then shit was going to go down. Her mouth had gone dry thanks to the fabric, and the child had started to whine. She tried to shush him, but it came out more in weird hissing sounds. His eyes bugged out as he looked at her in fear, pushing his arms against her chest. She moved to set him down behind her, pretending her heart didn't break at the sight. She maneuvered herself more to the front of the compartment, leaving the keys behind for him.

She almost didn't notice the grumbling that followed the metallic clink of someone leaving the ship. The person was complaining, aggressively, but the voice was definitely not human.

Of course. That shitty droid.

The one emotion that had been hardest to keep at bay was rising up again. It coiled in her throat, sharpening her tongue with nasty thoughts. She hated this group, and all the shit they say to Din and the violent betrayal. She didn't know how she was going to be able to handle it if it happens right in front of her— the fabric in her mouth was going to be her saving grace. She really did not want to risk making this even worse for Din than it already would be.

And sure, she knows they get their due karma in the end. But the nagging pit in her stomach, the feeling of wrong, was eating her alive. She reached for the taser that sat at the front of the compartment and maneuvered her back to Grogu. If that compartment opens, she was going to fight like hell.

And that's how she waited.

And waited.

Back turned to the child as he jangled her keys around. She waited as voices crept closer to the Crest. As someone made their way up the ramp, then another. Until something was set down with a heavy thump, and a murmur of voices filled the hull. No one was really saying anything of importance, just fighting about who got to sit where. Sedona turned her head back to the child, who was now also listening attentively. His ears perked, owlish eyes met hers, the keys now forgotten in his little hands. He made a small 'ooo' sound and pointed to the compartment door, and she shrugged, holding her finger up to her mouth in a shushing motion.

Then there was the sound of the hatch closing, her head snapped back to the door. Trying to picture the scene behind the metal. She heard someone climbing the ladder, and then there was more grumbling. It wasn't long after, the ship began to move, she braced her hands behind her back as the compartment rocked. She looked back at the child, who was now back to jangling the keys around, she tried not to cringe at the sound, hoping they couldn't hear it.

She couldn't help thinking how insane this was. She was sitting in a space ship with a little green alien, gagged, and listening to other aliens argue. Her breath had started to quicken, and she could feel her pulse thumping in her neck.

This is so fucked up. What the hell am I even doing here. I'm going crazy-

Her spiraling thoughts were cut off when she felt a small hand on her back. She turned, blinking away a tear that had formed in her eye. Grogu made a tiny coo, his eyes wide. She instantly felt bad, he could sense her distress and it was making him feel bad. But she almost let out a sob when the little creature leaned forward, setting both his arms on her back in a tiny hug. A strangled noise tore through her throat, lifting one of her hands to pat his wrinkled little head. He made a snorting noise, one of the cutest things in the world, before plopping down and playing with the keys again. The interaction so small, but it had immediately calmed her down.

God, I can see why everyone loves this little shit.

She felt the atmosphere speed up, and the telltale feeling of hyperspace overtook the ship. A sound she recognized made her snap her head back to the door. The weapons hold adjacent to the sleeping compartment was open. She hadn't even heard their earlier conversations, too entranced by the little guy. She couldn't remember who had opened the door, but from the grumbling, it sounded like the one she hated most. Everything was happening much faster, but it felt as if time had slowed. She distantly registered the thump of someone jumping down the ladder, then the doors closing, and someone immediately hitting them.

"Hey, hey, hey. Okay. Okay. Okay, I get it. I'm a little particular about my personal space too." That voice, God she knew that voice. Her blood boiled as she listened further. "So let's just do this job. We get in, we get out, and you don't have to see our faces anymore."

How ironic, she almost rolled her eyes.

"Someone tell me why we even need a Mandalorian." The voice was much closer than she wanted it to be.

"Well, apparently they're the greatest warriors in the galaxy." There was a pause, Sedona gritted her teeth around the cloth. "So they say"

"Then why are they all dead"

And there was laughter. She heard a sharp giggle, the kind that makes your lip curl. And she felt herself shaking— she wanted to say something so fucking bad. She didn't know how Din could just take all of this.

"Well, you flew with him, Xi'an— Is he as good as they say?"

"Ask him about the job on Alzoc 111." Their voices grated her ears. Subconsciously she really did want to know what happened on Alzoc 111"

"I did what I had to." But this voice, with his calculated roughness, broke her heart. She didn't know how much more she could take before words started leaving her mouth. She heard a female voice, and her hands curled into fists behind her. She could hear what they were saying, but it wasn't fully registering anymore. Her ears rung with rage, the feeling of the child still leaning against her back was the only thing keeping her from ripping off the gag and screaming.  

Her eyes narrowed at the continued jeering and insults. She tried to blink away the tears of anger that burned her eyes. Pressing all of her weight into her arms, her muscles tense. Ready for what was coming next.

The ringing in her ears didn't stop, even as a fistfight took place outside her door.

Only when she was suddenly faced by the people she did not want to see, did everything come crashing back to the surface.

The trio looked at her in shock, Din out of her view. She sees Mayfield's mouth moving as he walks closer to her, but she only picked up the last of his sentence.

"— you get lonely up here buddy? Huh." He stepped up to the compartment, Xi'an sauntered after him. Sedona tried not to focus on the way the other woman's gaze twisted into disgust. She turned her head to meet all 3 of their eyes, Burg looking even more devil-like up close.

"Why do you have your bed warmer tied up like that huh?" Din didn't answer Mayfield, she couldn't even see him, but with the way Burg had his arm locked out of view, he was probably being held back. "Is that how he kept you, huh, Xi'an? Is that how he likes 'em?" The woman in question hissed in response, and she settled herself against the door. Knife still held loosely in her hand.

"Didn't take you for the type." She snarled at Din, her eyes predatory as they shifted away from Sedona. "Maybe that code of yours has made you soft."

And suddenly there was another voice. Though not really a voice, instead it's sounded like an angry cat in the other room. Muffled, and full of rage.

It wasn't till she noticed the others were just staring at her in silence, that she realized it was her. She was snarling like a rabid dog, her mouth has developed a mind of its own. Thankfully all the words were swallowed by the cloth.

"Well let's see what she has to say," Xi'an said with a sickening smile, sharpened yellow teeth on full display. The next actions happened so quickly, Sedona honestly didn't realize what transpired. There was a flash of metal, as Xi'an's hand darted out like a snake. A searing pain appeared on her left cheek, and the cloth holding her words in fell away. She felt herself gasp, her hand instantly flying up to cradle her cheek. And then there was laughing, the trio laughed at her pain, and it only made her angrier.

"I said," She placed her hand, now sticky with blood, behind her back. Bracing herself. "I've got a penchant for smokes and kicking douches in the mouth. Sadly for you, my last cigarette's gone out."

And with that statement, her right foot flew out. Connecting with Burg's jaw, a sickening crack rang through the hull.

Then there was chaos.

The Devaronian stumbled back, his own hand coming up to clutch his jaw with a growl. Mayfield and Xi'an jumped for their weapons. But before anyone else could cross the threshold of the sleeping compartment, there was a blaster shot— and the metal door collapsed shut. Din had shot the control panel to the door, no one could get in, or get out without the use of his fancy wrist control. There was aggressive banging on the door, Sedona feared it might dent. She could hear swearing and shouting from the other side, but she wasn't done. She sat up on her knees, slamming her hands against the metal a few times. If Din wasn't going to say it, she would.

"Fuck you Xi'an! I wanted to be your friend so bad!" She could hear an aggressive snarl over the other commotion. Burg roared, and then there was a particularly loud thump against the door.

"Fuck you, Burg! Your breath fucking reeks!" Her voice had a heavy growl in it, all of the rage she could muster put behind her words.

"And fuck you, Mayfield! Prison is going to make you it's bitch!" Her voice had risen to a scream to counteract the noise. And with a few more slaps against the metal, she sat back down. Her hand coming up to the cut on her cheek. Xi'an's blades were so sharp, they cut deep and thin. A perfect slice, that was going to leave a nasty scar. It was then she realized the other creature in the room.

Grogu let out soft whimpers at the commotion, he was trying to hide behind her purse. Her stomach dropped at the sight, instantly letting out a soft coo of her own, she reached her hand out to him, trying to let him know it would be okay. But another voice broke through the pandemonium.

"Dropping out of hyperspace now." She scooped up Grogu, and he let out a small cry of protest. But she knew what was coming next. The ship lurched foreword suddenly. "Commencing final approach now."

"Cloaking signal now" Grogu let out a scream as they were suddenly airborne. Sedona's head crashed against the ceiling of the compartment with a thump. They slammed back down, the wind getting knocked out of her lungs. Trying to catch her breath she glanced down at the child, who was relatively fine. Just panicking by the way his massive eyes stared up at her. The ship stopped with a heavy crash, and she heard the droid speaking again. But she was far more distracted by the little green hand straining to reach her cheek.

"I'll be okay buddy" she whispered, bringing her hand up to gently grab his. He frowned, babbling urgently at her. She gave him as much of a smile she could muster, hoping he accepted it. "You don't have to heal me, I'm all right." Truthfully, she wasn't really all right. Her cheek was burning, and from what she could feel, the cut ran from just under her jaw bone, all the way up to her cheekbone. A neat slice, that was still steadily leaking blood. She set Grogu to the side and reached for her purse, fishing out the travel pack of tissues, and holding one to the cut. It wasn't stitches or magical healing space goo, but she hoped it would at least stop her from bleeding all over Din's bed. A loud smack interrupted their tentative peace. Mayfield's voice followed.

"Don't think we forgot about you girl, we'll be back for you!" There was laughing, and for the first time since the door had opened, the wrongness flooded back to her stomach. She focused on taking deep even breaths, for the sake of the child who whimpered beside her. She heard a fast beeping, and then someone jumping from the ship. They were leaving, and her heart only seemed to race faster. She waited till she heard the particularly loud thump of Burg.

"Din," she cleared her throat, voice coming out raw. "Don't let them capture you." She wasn't sure if she was just talking to an empty hull, or if the Mandalorian could even hear her raspy voice. 

She just hoped desperately if he had, he would listen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taglist- 

I’ve never done this before! But please message me if you’d like to be tagged, and I’ll try to figure it out along the way! 

@thekingofthegoats @cosmicbreathe @daddydjarinxx @gallowsjoker 

[aks3raao1]

I'm using these videos as an excuse to talk about my character <3

So lately, I've been thinking of changing my oc (MHA Axel/Akusera Riam)'s character song to smth by one by my ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE BAND, SLEEPING WITH SIRENS HAHEUEU WBWJZIOWDPKENEKWOEOWORKW

Srsly, their songs have been stuck in my head for almost a week now and its srsly becoming a problem that idc about

Anyway, I was thinking of choosing between these two, Kick Me (see 1st vid) and Break Me Down (see 2nd vid). I have chosen Break Me Down bc it's more on her personal side in my perspective, whereas Kick Me feels more like it's only falling on her exterior. I will explain each verse in Break Me Down bc I want to and then you can compare it to the other song if you want to and see what I'm talking about (also, pls just listen to both of these songs, they are a blessing on the ears).

"You won't break me down

I'm not afraid to try and feel something that's real

I'm not ashamed, you won't break me down"

^^ I think this really explains how much Axel values her emotions and how unashamed she is to show them. That is...if they don't unintentionally hurt others. Axel is a very extroverted and expressive character but she's also one of those that will keep up a fake smile so that she doesn't become a "burden" on other people. She's not afraid to feel. She actually thinks it's necessary. But she doesn't like showing it if her feelings are negative. In other words, she's not ashamed to have feelings and people can't break her down bc of the walls she puts up. In actuality, barely anyone knows that she's struggling (as much as I hate to admit this, think of her as Nagito Komeada when it comes to that ig) bc the front she puts up is that good. But slowly, she's learning that it's better to open up sometimes and she's more willing to do that if it means her sister will open up to her too

"The last two years of my life are so filled with regret

Try to fool myself, but I'll never forget

The time I've lost, the pain I've found

But when it's time to fight, you need to stand your ground"

^^ As much as she makes it not seem like it, she's been through a lot of s h i t. Absolute cow shit. Almost her entire life is filled with regret and after she makes it to UA and finds her long lost sister, that makes itself extremely evident to her. She'll never forget the pain she's been through (even with amnesia) but bc of that, she tries to fool herself. She entertains herself with the lie of *coughs in epic character spoil* but she still has some doubt. She doubted the facts for years and after gaining some hope, she doubted them less. But she still can't help but feel that what happened to her family was her fault.

That and the time that she's lost. She has amnesia and can barely remember anything. She can't remember her father's face, how her sister used to look, her sister's real name or HER OWN real name (Akusera). She can't remember anything properly other than the fateful incident of her house burning down and whatever else after turning 7. She's lost a lot of time, not only in her memory, but also with the only real family member that she lost at age 4 (or rather. The only real family member that she knew of at the time). She has a bit of a problem of wanting to make up for all the lost time but her sister is always so awfully busy that there's barely any time for it. She tries to stay positive by saying things like "I can't let this get to me" even tho she's slowly crumbling (hence the lyric, "But when it's time to fight, you need to stand your ground").

"Smoke in my lungs

There's a fire in my heart (fire in my heart)

And when it's all said and done

You won't break me"

^^ Despite everything, she's not willing to give up so easily. Even with all the voices in her head telling her that death would be easier, she's not willing to give up just like that. She has a goal to reach. And she refuses to drop dead before she gets to it. No matter how fucking difficult

"...When all hope is gone, I'm stronger than I've been before..."

^^ This is pretty much self explanatory. Whenever she feels like giving up, her only choice is to come back strong

"All the drugs and the fame don't matter at all

So I swim in the bottle that makes me feel small

To drown out my demons, I still hear them call

On and on and on, my backs against the wall

I'm just being honest

I'm trying my best (I'm trying my best)

And when it's all said and done

You won't break me"

^^ My character is an alcoholic (and is not of the legal age to drink). Usually, she'll take a few swigs of vodka (her favourite) for fun - bc her half brother is a bad influence - but she won't get drunk. Now it's a whole different story when she's drinking and depressed. Usually when that happens, she's locked up in her dorm room or house, going crazy with the music and drinking bottles at a time bc she found it as an easy way to drown; to get it all out and then not remember it in the morning. Even so, her demons still manage to scrape at the back of her mind and fill her with thoughts she never wanted nor needed. She knows that drinking won't save her from her problems, but she thinks "at least I can cry for one night without an actual care." (Note that I do not promote drinking. What my character does is very unhealthy, please don't do this.)

For the 2nd verse, she's trying her best to keep things under control and to fix what she deems broken but she has no idea how to properly do it so her methods turn...plain toxic. And she'd probably get no character development if it weren't for 2 very important characters (her sister and Bakugo Katsuki; yes, he is doing his job as a good bf)

The rest of the song is a repeat of lyrics so I can stop here. But yeah, that's pretty much my character ig. Hope you enjoyed. If you want more context, go read @travalerray 's fan fic, Grim Reaper: Vigilante Hack on wattpad and/or Ao3

Also, @travalerray PLS LISTEN TO THESE SONGS BEFORE I COMMIT ARSON SKWNJEIEKDI2OEI2HRJ2JROEDIIE

[vickypoochoices]

ABC Fluffs.

Thank you to @krsnlove for requesting this. It’s been sat untouched in my drafts for a while, so I thought I’d finally get around to satisfying your needs!

I’ll make this ZigxLyla because she’s my most recent MC so I guess she’s still fresh in everyone’s mind. I'm gonna refer to events in Partner In Crime quite a lot so if you haven't read it and are confused, give it a read [HERE].

The L ove confession answer is a little segment taken from an NSFW chapter of PIC. I promise it's tame, I wanted to keep this clean, but consider this your warning. (I don't think it even counts but i just want to make sure no one gets upset at a slightly suggestive piece!) Apart from that, I think it's all cute and fluffy!

Also, I started writing this from Zig's perspective and it just kind of stuck.

Tagging: @zigortega4life @emerald-bijou @littlegreenmoo (I fear the fluff may kill you off, but it feels wrong not tagging you!) @krsnlove @itsalliepg @choicesthot @hustacks

If you want to be tagged/untagged in any of my future stuff, let me know.

[MASTERLIST.]

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them? We literally spend every spare second of the day together! I guess things aren't too different to how they were before. As best friends (and roomies) we always used to be around each other the majority of the time anyway, and as we share the same friend group, hanging out with them has always been something we've done together. We're still the same excitable big kids that chase each other around the apartment half naked. But I have somehow managed to persuade Lyla to join me at this new dance class once a week. She's got two left feet and hates every second of it, but my girl drives a hard bargain. I'm stuck with all the jobs she hates doing taking the garbage out and she's demanding a full body massage as well. I know she loves to moan about it, but I'm sure deep down she's happy to be doing it with me. Maybe.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them? Everything! Every single inch of her is perfect. From her fluffy bedhead hair first thing in the morning to the tiny little scar on her ankle left from when she had chicken pox as a kid. I think what has always drawn me to Lyla though is her sense of humour. We have this banter together that I've never really experienced with anyone else and it's kind of a huge turn on for me.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.? I'm not exactly an extravagant person, and it's not like I have the money to do anything over the top. For me, it's all about the little things. I know Lyla well enough by now to determine what's going to cut it, and whatever it is, I'll do it. I'll run a hot bubble bath or make a last minute dash to the shop for chocolate/ice cream/wine. And making her favourite meal is always going to be a winner. But sometimes patience and understanding is all you need. If that means holding my girl for an hour whilst she smears make up all over my top and let's it all out, then that's what I'll do.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o? In a slightly bigger apartment for starters! Don't get me wrong, we both love our little space, but I guess we both know one day in the future it's not going to be the most practical. Obviously both our mothers have already brought up the subject of grandchildren daily. I'm sure that will all come one day, but for now our dreams have only stretched to getting a pet together. Apparently Lyla is a hundred percent a cat person, but I'm hoping I can work some magic and persuade her that dogs are awesome too. I think that basically sums us up. We haven't planned out what we want to do with our lives or what career paths to take, but our biggest goal is to have a dog pet together!

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive? I wouldn't say either of us are like overbearingly dominant or anything, but if I had to give you a name, i'd say Lyla just about has the edge over me. I'm not saying she walks all over me or that she wears the trousers or anything like that. But sometimes I'll just go along with something for an easy life.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting? If you ignore the little disagreement about what pet we should get and all the shit that went down with Dean, we really don't ever fight. Don't get me wrong, Lyla is stubborn as hell! But I learnt a few things growing up with a house full of sisters, so I'm more likely to let things slide. The only thing I struggle with is when the green eyed monster comes out in Lyla.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them? I know this is so cliche and people always say how lucky they are to call their other half their best friend, but I genuinely can say that. Everything is just so easy with us and Lyla knows me like the back of her hand. There's this other side to her that no one else ever gets to see and I love that it's reserved for me. Just doing simple things like walking around holding hands, showing my girl off to the world, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world that she feels the same way about me. Author's Note: We all know Lyla has every reason to be grateful for the absolute sweetheart that she's bagged herself, despite fucking him in a closet and then running away to her controlling fiance, then telling him to stay away. You sure you're grateful Zig?

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything? I'm making a point now of not keeping anything from Lyla after that spectacularly backfired on me with the whole Cherry thing! Safe to say I've learnt my lesson! I want to protect her with every fiber or my being, but I know a relationship is nothing without honesty and trust.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems? I guess you'd have to ask Lyla about this one for her. I know things were a little crazy with Dick Dean, and I'd like to think I helped her as best I could through all of that during the aftermath. For me though, going through it all pushed me to realise just how much I need Lyla. I depend on her more than I ever thought possible. I was this empty shell of a man that didn't want to get out of bed when she left. I know, I know. It sounds a bit over the top, but it really is true what they say; You don't know what you have until it's gone. And I plan on holding on tight to my girl from now on, and never letting go.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it? I'm not gonna lie, it sucks when I catch a guy checking Lyla out. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna be a dick about it. Knowing I'm the one that gets to take her home to our apartment to sleep in our bed makes things a little easier too. I think she's completely oblivious to any male attention anyway. And as for Lyla, she does have a touch of the green eyed monster from time to time. It's difficult sometimes, especially knowing how strongly I feel for her, and I hope I do a good job of showing her that on a daily basis. But I know that's the kind of thing we have to talk about, instead of letting it blow out of proportion like last time.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like? A reminder of how their first kiss went;

And then their lips collided in a frenzy, neither of them sure who made the first move, past the point of caring. Zig’s nose squished against hers repeatedly as their lips smacked together messily, Lyla’s kisses quickly intensifying, her tongue insistently pleading with his, desperate for permission to continue.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o? Again, a reminder of how that went down;

“I can’t do this when you’ve been drinking. I can’t take advantage.”

“Take advantage? It makes no difference if i’ve had a drink or not. I’ll still love you when I wake up in the morning.”

Zig shook his head sadly, hating the stab of hope he felt inside at the words she’d just said. “And I’ll still love you. Partner in crime, right?”

Lyla pulled back, tearing herself away from his neck. She looked him straight in the eye, hers wide and serious as she spoke. “You’re not listening to me. I’m in love with you Zig. And I’ll be in love with you even when the bubbles are gone and the hangover wears off. I...”

He crushes his lips against hers, walking her backwards and pinning her against the wall, his hands tangling in her hair which had come loose at some point. He pressed his body firmly against her, letting Lyla feel the full affect she had on him. Her hand drifted downwards, fingers stroking his full length through his suit trousers. Zig groaned, before slamming his lips against hers once more, leaving her breathless.

“Tell me again.” He hissed, pressing sloppy kisses down her jawline.

"I’m in love with you Zig.”

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like? It's not something we've talked about but there's no doubt in my mind, Lyla is the love of my life and there's nothing I want more than for her to become Mrs Ortega. One day though. There's no rush right now, despite what our Mum's might want from us. I want to do it right. After all that shit with that sham of a wedding to Dean, Lyla deserves to have the perfect day. I'm not saying i've thought much about how exactly I'd propose, but I do know it would be in the apartment. Regardless of if we still live there or not, that's where it's happening. Candles can make anything look beautiful right? As for the wedding, it can be whatever Lyla wants. We could get married in a castle, church, hotel, barn, even the middle of a mall if thats what makes her happy. As long as our friends and family are there and it's Lyla saying 'I Do', that's all I need.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o? Damn Aaron and his catchy nicknames! Lyla has taken to calling me Ziggypop since I let slip how much I kinda actually hate it. And she's a fan of rolling out my full name from time to time. As for me, I guess I'm kind of boring. I stick to babe/baby. And let's not forget beautiful, because I love how that still makes her smile every time I say it.

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings? Well judging by how I reacted after our brief time apart, I'm a miserable prick without Lyla, so I'd say it was pretty obvious for others just how much I love her. I don't really know how to answer that one about what I'm like when I'm in love because it feels like I fell hard for Lyla the minute I laid eyes on her. I've spent years clutching on to those feelings, and hoping people didn't cotton on. We're both guilty of expressing those pent up feelings freely, now that we can.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching? We're definitely that couple that everyone hates. I love Lyla, and I don't care if we're in a room alone or surrounded by people. If I want to kiss my girl then nothing and no one will stop me. And it's not like Lyla holds back either!

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship. I think I'm quite good at reading people, females in particular. Definitely a benefit from growing up in a house full of girls! Nothing really scares me or surprises me now with the opposite sex.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative? What wouldn't I do to make Lyla happy? I've sat through every soppy chick flick known to man with Lyla and I know I'd do the lot. Kissing in the rain, the iconic lift in the water, some sexy pottery making...Seriously though, I know I might joke about it, but all I really want is to see my girl smile, and to be the one making her smile. Whatever she wants, it's done. I might not be full of amazing romantic gestures, but I'll still try my hardest all the same.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them? Lyla will rule the world one day I'm sure of it. I mean, if that's what she wants to do. She's been stressing out recently because she doesn't have her whole life figured out yet, but I'm doing my best to convince her she doesn't have to. She's amazingly smart, and she can pick things up quickly. Whatever she eventually decides on, I'll be there to support her the whole way. Lyla has this awful saying that apparently all of the cool kids say 'Live your best life' that she constantly says to wind me up. And annoyingly it seems to do the trick. I'm planning a few more dance classes just for starters, so she might end up regretting those words of encouragement.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine? Spice up our relationship? That makes me cringe, I hope we never get to that point! Lyla is all about routine in everything. I've watched her do the same things day in, day out for the last three years. And now we're together I'm here to shake things up a little bit. I said shake, not spice! I'm not really making her try out new things forget about those dance classes. I just think life could still be fun if instead of getting up an hour early for work to eat breakfast and slap make up on, she spent that time in bed with me instead. She's too beautiful to hide behind make up, and obviously I wouldn't say no to an extra hour in bed with my girl.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic? Pretty good. I know that Lyla's favourite coffee is a salted caramel machiato with a heart drizzle on top but she doesn't even know that herself. I know she bought a load of cakes in the first time she met my Mum because she wanted to make a good impression, and ended up telling her she'd baked them all herself. The lie still lives on, and Lyla has to fill the sink with dishes everytime Mum visits! And I know that she got her stubborn streak from her father, which explains a lot!

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life? There is no comparison. Aside from my family, Lyla is the single most important thing to me. That question is like asking a fish how important water is to them, that's what she is for me. I don't just love her, I need her.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

"Babe, have you seen my jacket?"

Zig stopped in his tracks, his mouth falling open and his eyes widening in disbelief as he drank in the sight of Lyla.

The shiny black leather was a stark contrast against her pale skin, a touch of pink barely visible as it crept along the exposed flesh of her neck, her long hair twisted to one side.

She stood with her back to him, head cocked to the side as she peered at him from over one shoulder. Her teeth sank in to her full bottom lip in an attempt to suppress a giggle.

Zig swallowed hard as his eyes slowly lowered. Past her small shoulders, the excess material bunching up and hanging off of her. His tongue slowly traced around his lips as his gaze lowered further still, finding her hands bunching up a fistful of leather, the curve of her bare ass now visible. Her hips swayed seductively from side to side, her voice vibrating in her throat as she let out a low purr "This one?"

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle? I think the problem with us has always been that we're too affectionate. Not that I'm complaining! When I hold Lyla it's like I've got the whole entire world just sat there in my arms and I never want to let go. The fact that I can hold her all night long and kiss her sweet lips until we need to come up for air is just an added bonus! So glad we're out of the friend zone!

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of? Something like spending close to every waking minute of the day for weeks on end trying to find a way out of an unwanted marriage for her? Or is that too specific? I would do anything and everything for Lyla. Nothing is too much for the woman I love.

[jiwonsssi]

— stress relief, pt. 1

The difference with dealing with that stress is that he smokes, and she cries.

Warnings: smoking, swearing.

Characters: Eun Jiwon/Sandara Park.

Jiwon thinks that all these fashion events are so fucked up. He has been there for two hours and he's already exhausted like hell.

Eyes are blurry from all the of cameras that are everywhere. Everyone has that fucking thing. And everyone thinks that it's their own proud duty to stuck it in his face.

It is his first time attending these kind of meetings and the last. He doesn't even remember why he agreed. Maybe it wasn't even Jiwon who did that; there are too many people who can say 'yes' for him without asking his opinion in the first place.

He suddenly goes back to old days; Jiwon hates it. It was all fun being famous until they started being slaves for a shitty company. And it's nothing different.

He pulls out a pack of Marlboro and sighs.

There is no way he can quit smoking; otherwise he might kill someone out of nerves. He already has that reputation, it's enough fame of being crazy for one person. Although he likes it. It's so much easier that way.

Lightning a cigarette, he leans on a wall not caring about expensive designed jacket. It's just an ordinary black suit. He has something around ten of them. He's even sure that if he would change that one with one that he has at home - nobody would ever notice. And that's the most annoying shit about everyone whos out there trying to make themselves experts.

Fake.

Feeling how the smoke is going down the throat, Jiwon puts his hand in a pocket and looks at the nights skies. He just wants to get home and sleep. Moral exhaustion is taking all the good from him; he's not even tired physically.

Only God knows how much he abhors days like this.

Trying to make himself better in front of people he doesn't even know. It's his work, right?

The music from the afterparty that is still goes on suddenly becomes loud and he looks to the back door in front of him, being a little bit curious. At the end it's not even a place to smoke, he just found the most empty place which happen to be behind fire escape door. Jiwon just got prepare to bicker with anyone who would try to kick him out.

To what he wasn't prepared is for seeing crying woman appearing and then disappearing after noticing him right at that particular door.

His brain proceeds information slowly at first; he even forgets to exhale the smoke and when he coughs a few times, realisation becomes clear - that was Sandara Park and he's in rather, how to say, difficult situation at that exact moment; he's fucked up.

Jiwon hates seeing people cry. It's not about women, but in general. What should he do now? Go after her? Or stay here? Or.. what? She clearly went here to not to 'breath some fresh air', she wanted to be alone. Just like him.

Though she was in tears and that is the most tricky part about the whole thing.

Jiwon curses under his breath and throws unfinished cigarette at the concrete floor. Of course he would follow her. Like hell he would.

He clearly has a soft spot for her.

Just when his hand touches a door knob, metal cracks open, filling almost complete night silence with muffled music. And her sobs.

Jiwon tries his best to not panic. What should he do now? Saying 'wazzup hows it going' is not really a way to go, but he doesn't want to disturb her with that pathetic 'what's wrong? Can I help you?'. The struggle is written on his face when Dara passes him and stops a few meters away.

He should leave her alone. He would more of a disaster than a help. And so he does. Ignoring the increase of her sobs right after he closes the door behind him.

And than Jiwon is standing inside the crowded bar, filled with kind of music that makes him want to throw up with a persistent thought that he hates that place. Everything about it. All that chatting that has zero sense that goes on a loop around him; all the loud fucking music that gives him head-aches; all the people who only cares about image. It's sick.

There is one way for him and he's willing to follow it. Free bar. He's here to enjoy the alcohol and to get wasted. So he guides himself to the holy place when his brain proceeds better than him.

- Can I have a glass of water? And tissues.

He can't let her cry there all alone. Right? Jiwon doesn't think that he would be able to calm Dara down, but offering her some help is a reasonable act of being a nice man.

Jiwon receives what he asked for and goes straight to the back door, passing security guy who gives him a suspicious look and opens that door that now is more like hell-gates again.

- Hey, I..

He stops mid-sentence, seeing her on her hunkers with face covered by palms, while her bare shoulders are shaking violently. He doesn't even hear her sobs at this point; she's just shaking and.. it breaks his heart.

Putting a glass on the floor and tissues in a pocket, Jiwon is beside her in a second, getting down as well.

- Are you in pain? Sandara, come on, stand up, I'll help you, - he's not even sure if he can call her by her name. She reacts quickly with putting her hand in palm that he offered to help her ro stand up.

He really though that she was crying because she was hurt. But now, when he can see her trying to wipe her tears, he realises that she, in fact, isn't. Dara is exhausted. Again, just like him.

The difference with dealing with it is that he smokes, and she cries.

- I'm okay, - voice turns out to be crooked and unstable. Somehow Jiwon sees her in a perfectly new way now.

He doesn't like her crying, of course, he's not that kind of crazy. Jiwon remembers her as smiling and always hyped-up woman who invited him to one of the best dates he had ever been. It was so distant for him - thinking, that she really likes him and his hobbys just as they truly are. They, other women, always try to change him; his life-style and interests. So when she planned the perfect food and activities for him, he was.. more than impressed. Touched, even. And she enjoyed it as much as he did. Jiwon would never forget how happy she was.

And now he sees her crying her heart out because of stress. It breaks his heart as well.

Basically that is the thing that he finds the most troublesome.

- If you say so, - persuasion is not going to end well and so it's better to stuck with keeping a distance right now. He doesn't want to invade her space more than he already did.

- I'm sorry, I.. I didn't know you were here and thank you also, I just.. - she even tries to bow to him and Jiwon stops her immediately, being as gentle as he can let himself to be, putting his hands on her shoulders. Touching her now might be really offensive. Crying people - really hates it.

- It's alright, no worries. I've got you something, - he goes for a glass that he left on a floor and puts it right in her hand, making sure it won't slip, - You look like you are going to have a badass photoshoot with all that mascara situation on your face..

Jiwon finds it funny and adorable. Dara doesn't.

And so the glass she was holding of course slips out of her fingers and with a loud crack it breaks, water splashes, Jiwon curses and Dara closes her face with hands and cries again. Just ten times harder.

- I'm sorry, oh my fucking God, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, please, I'm an idiot, please, - he continues to repeat the same things over and over again and he's panicking. He looks like a monkey now, desperately trying to make her look at him without touching her hands. He's in a scariest panic he had ever been for a past few years.

He's in a full panic mode, yes, but he didn't want anybody to interrupt them. Jiwon is not sure how to accept that he wants to deal with it only by himself now.

- Come on, I've got tissues if you didn't like the glass, - he pulls out some and steps on broken pieces, - See? Bad glass. Never gonna give you any glasses anymore.

He does it again a few times and she softly giggles through sobs and did that feel like a heart attack? Because he surely had one.

- Yeah, glass was kinda gross, - she jokes back and he doesn't bother to hide his smile. He's happy for no reason and it right after he made a woman cry. Crazy one, indeed.

Dara calms down just a little and then takes tissues out of his palm and he clearly can see tears streaming down her face.

He's so used to see her smiling. Jiwon just hasn't ever had an idea that she can be sad too.

- I didn't want to hurt you, for real. I'm sorry, - Jiwon feels bad. He really does. It's even funny how he nearly shitted his pants when she continued crying after his stupid joke.

- It's not you, it's okay, - she wipes her face carefully trying not to ruin that was left from make up that she had and Jiwon traces all of her movements, feeling like he's under some spell. It's almost soothing, - I just thought about how it's funny that I was trying to talk to you the whole event and end up ugly crying right in front of you.

Her smile is so sad and Jiwon is just silent. He doesn't know what to do, nor say. There is emptiness in his head and he tries to inhale fresh air deeper to make his brain work already.

He takes one of the tissues and slowly puts her hands down, with that strange dazing feeling inside still being present. Like all the smoke is now moved to his head.

Carefully wiping her cheeks, he follows now his fingers with a gaze and his main mistake is giving zero fucks about how shaking is she.

And she's going crazy.

- You look stunning, - he looks her in the eyes to finally realise that one of his hands is on the side of her neck, pressing firmly against now warm skin and with the other he tries to wipe mascara from her face.

And she blushes so fucking hard, he doesn't know what to do with himself.

Jiwon has enough experience to say that that's where the kiss is happening. But judging by expression on Dara's face if he would even try to do it, she would fain.

First of all, he finds it shitless cute.

Second of all, what the fuck he's even thinking about?

Because he's suddenly not exhausted anymore. He forgot when he stopped thinking about himself and started caring about her.

- Thank you, - her tone is high-pitched and Jiwon smiles like crazy looking at her chin, nodding, silently saying that is no need to be thankful. It's an absolute truth.

Another tuth needs to be relieved - Jiwon is a sucker for moments like this. Yet he stopped paying attention to relationships quite a time ago, so now that long forgotten sensation is impossible to ignore.

He feels twenty years younger. And he was wild during that time.

- How can you still look attractive while crying? - making her blush is basically his favorite thing now. It's natural to be attracted to someone like her.

- Don't say that, oh my God, - Jiwon laughs when she turns her head on the side to not to look at him and smiles just so brightly, yet shy and.. happy. After seeing her drowning in tears, it feels amazing. And his hand still on her soft skin; her heart beat is erratic. Violent. Because of him.

Another heart attack for him.

- It's true tho, - she looks perfect. She was shining in front all that lights before; in front of everyone. It's not about expensive dress or make up. He knows that it's about her attitude. She's naturally beautiful. From the inside, as they like to describe it.

- You too, - she turns again to look at him and her lips are slightly pursed and.. He's going to die, how can a woman be looking that hot, stunning and pure at the same time? And she cried, like, two minutes before and now not even in her best state, - You also is very handsome today. I know that you don't like hearing it, but.. I'm..

She's panicking and Jiwon, being his bastard self, doesn't want to help her. Even tho he feels like his hands are getting colder like he's some teenager.

- You..? - he looks directly in her eyes, stepping a little bit closer, so close he can feel her breath on his skin; now looking at her with curiosity and open adoration. Jiwon adores her. And he didn't even drink today to have that type of feeling.

- I didn't mean that you look nice only today, you always do! - her embarrassment is written on confused flushing red face. Has he squeaked? Hopefully not.

- Okay, - smirk spreads by it's own will and he licks his lips, not caring about what's going on. Or how it looks. The only thing that's important for now is how she looks at him; he can swear no other woman had never had that pure interest in him in her eyes.

He's gone for. Thoroughly.

- Want me to give you a ride? - he proceeds what he said just after a moment she understands what he had just, in fact, said and now it's his turn to be in panic, - Fuck, no! Oh God.. home. I want to drive you home.

Or not.

Oh, God.

Dara giggles after a moment of silence and wide open shocked eyes; the next thing he feels is her tiny hand on top of his. Her delicate touch got him growling inside and he feels something that he wasn't actually physically ready to feel.

- I'd love to, - and she's elegant all of sudden. Dara plans a murderous assault on him or what? It's illegal, - Ask me that question again when we get home.

Because now she's gone for.