#reaction to it is a quite visceral repulsion

[steelycunt]

genuinely think it would significantly change my life for the better if i could find the slightest bit of value in edm that would allow me to enjoy it even a little bit. unfortunately every time i hear it i am like wow this is the worst fucking thing ive ever heard

[llilyrose]

llilyrose spends her time analyzing aroace stuff. yay.

isat spoilers afoot

what i especially like about the way adrienne wrote mira's orientation is the lack of room for interpretation. yes they snuck aroace talk into fantasy france, but just stop and think for a minute. what would happen if mira just said "i'm aroace" or "i don't feel love the same way" instead of all the nuance we got to her character in the friend quest convo?

we know she's sex repulsed, we know she's romance repulsed. we know she loves fiction that has those things in it, loves interpreting fictional characters that way, but can't bare to see herself in that situation. it makes a lot of sense with regards to her location (vaugarde, a very sex-positive and romance-adamant country) and also with regards to herself (the way she feels about her environment). Of course she wouldn't blame other folk around her for engaging with their religion the "correct" way, of course she'd internalize all her feelings of being outcast and turn it back on herself.

The fandom respects this! Nobody ships her romantically, or sexually, because we know she's not into that. We know she would never and i know a bunch of people who would punch you for even thinking it!

Now what if Adrienne hadn't put this in the game? What if they had just said on their tumblr one day, "mira's aroace," or something. where would we be now? aspec shipping discourse would definitely take the reins. we'd have people shipping her in all kinds of different ways, bending the aroace character to the best of their ability because they could still be into sex, or romance, or whatever. this is TRUE, it's POSSIBLE, but there's no nuance. We wouldn't know the way Mira really feels about these things unless Adrienne told us, so a lot of people would either ignore/"work around" her identity or just wouldn't even know about it to begin with!

Introducing mira's orientation in the way adrienne did leaves no room for discourse. we know if she's sex-positive, sex-negative, how she reacted to finding out she was, etc. It provides so much more representation than a simple "I'm aroace" ever could. It's such a wide label, so finally having CONCRETE information about a canonical aroace's experiences with their orientation is so, so freeing and honestly quite refreshing. and it's worked into the story seamlessly!!!

She's not an emotionless carcass with no capacity for love, she's not outwardly detesting sex or romance at every possible moment, she's simply a well-rounded character who happens to be aroace. You have time to warm up to her before ever even finding out about her orientation! Or having any clue at all (barring maybe the suspicious sketches)!!!!! Aroace people are real!!! We're so real!!!!

Speaking of the suspicious sketches! We know siffrin's alloace (from, like, one line of dialogue), but we don't know if he's sex-repulsed. Adrienne's gone on record to say "aces can still have sex" in reference to siffrin, so I'm inclined to believe he has at least some sort of libido.

When looking at the sketches, both him and mira have a repulsed reaction. I think there are three possible reasons for Siffrin here!

Siffrin is sex-repulsed and has a visceral reaction to them because he thinks it's gross.

Siffrin has no libido because the stress overrides everything in his system. That combined with his ace identity would probably lead to a distaste for the papers.

Some people would NOT GET THE MEMO from the act 3 friendquest. Sometimes when you're writing you have to account for the gamers being really really dense. Some people didn't even understand the Isa friendquest was him coming out as trans basically. Since Ace characters are hard to "prove" unless they explicitly state they dislike sex, this line of dialogue might've just been there to drill it in that Siffrin is ace because the only other place we see that implication is one line in the friendquest. It could even have no tie to his relationship with sex, who knows?

one of these options is not like the others! /silly

I couldn't tell you which one of those it is, but i think at least one of them had to have hit the mark. It's a lot harder to decode siffrin's sexuality when we only get like 5 lines of dialogue total that vaguely even reference it

With this we come back to the issue from earlier: He could be demi, he could be ace, he could be sex-repulsed, he could not! Most people write them sex-repulsed and I'm personally on that bandwagon, but interpreting them a different way isn't any less correct unless you completely ignore the fact they're ace in the first place.

Even sex-positive aces have complicated relationships with sex. Some do it for the gratification, some simply have higher libido and can't think of a different way to get it out, and others only do it to please their partner.

I think writing an ace character as sex-positive should be seen as a character study instead of an excuse to ship two characters together. Is this character the type to even enjoy it in the first place? How often? How do they interact with it? Etc. Which I think is what Adrienne was talking about when she said "aces can still have sex." We don't know about siffrin's identity, we don't have a grasp on the nuance, but we do know he's ace and that he experiences love differently from the way mirabelle does, and the way isabeau does, and the way odile does, and what have you.

I love love love the representation we get in isat. An aroace, an alloace, and someone that a lot of fans headcanon as aroallo though it's unconfirmed. Even if Odile's not aro, we still get that line of dialogue about not finding romance suitable for her at the moment, which speaks true to a different experience altogether. No two characters experience love, experience life the same in isat. That's why i get to make a tumblr text post that's a bit too long exploring the different avenues adrienne took when writing the characters lol :')

[wisteria-winter]

Greetings all!

Just want to start by informing that I am AroAce, on the repulsed side of things with no drive at all, and I'd think that Alastor is quite the same (or I guess that is more my head cannon of things). So, I'm quite curious if there are any fanfics that explores that?

Or more specifically, if there are any that really go into how uncomfortable he'd be when it comes to things regarding romance and intimacy. Like, is there any writing in which Alastor is asked to hold hands and all he wants to do in response is to stab his hand with a pair of scissors? Or one in which he's offered a kiss and just wants to peel the top layer of his tongue of?

We all haven't forgotten he's a murderer, right?

So, wouldn't it be interesting if his visceral reactions were quite gruesome? He might not act on them, for he is a gentleman after all, but that doesn't change fact that they exist.

Just imagen, one thinks of flowers and sunsets, while the other thinks of blood and broken bones. I think it would be a really fun read.

Like ideas for things that could happen are endless! Just imagen someone asking for his hand and that's all he gives them. He just cuts of his hand and hands it over to them.

"Here you go my dear, though I can hardly see what use you'd have for it."

Which I feel could be a part of why he likes cannibal town. For if they ask for his hand and he gives it, they actually appreciate the gesture. All others just seem to throw it to the side in horror. He does find joy in that reaction too, but it's nice when people actually mean what they say.

____

There is also the idea that Rosie might have, in the beginning, tried to gauge if he had any interest in her. Just a way to figure out his possible motives. Which would then be the reason for how she can be so sure that he's (Aro)Ace.

One fun thing might also be that she sees his tail and comments on how adorable it is, and him being him, just rips it off.

"Well, that makes one of us." He says giving it to her. "So, you can have it my dear."

The best part would then be that she'd invite him for dinner and have it as a centrepiece, making a great meal with the theme of adorable.

"Isn’t this adorable?" She'd ask with a smile.

"You've quite outdone yourself, my dear Rosie." He'd say with a sigh, putting his cutlery down. "Yes, it's very adorable." To which she would be quite delighted, and he'd just smile at her reaction, she's a good friend.

____

And if he does have a drive, what if he dislikes it?

Like in his mind he has rules that should be followed and if his body decides to break those rules, then there will be consequences. One might be to bite the arm, creating a sensation that is far more prominent, a distraction of sort.

Then if the arm 'accidentally' comes of, the only logical choice is to use it for dinner. (Though it could also be eaten as is, I'd guess)

____

All this to ask, Does anyone know a story of that sort?

Honestly, it doesn't even have to be from Hazbin.

If there exists a repulsed AroAce character whose response to any advances are thoughts of the gruesome kind, then I’d be really delighted to read that ᵔᵜᵔ

I just feel that it falls very nicely into Alastor’s character to have that sort of response, (while still remaining composed, of course).

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Responding to that formerly-asexual 18yo, I'm kind of the 12 years older version - I ID'd as asexual before and a little after I figured out I was trans (when I was 17). All through my teenage years I couldn't imagine wanting to have sex with anyone because I kept trying to imagine it as if I were a woman (and specifically, as a cis woman as the receptive partner during sex with cis men, which disgusted me).

It wasn't until I figured out I was trans and expanded my understanding of what sex could look like for me (anal sex, topping with toys, topping with your own dick after bottom surgery) that I was able to move past that kneejerk revulsion and actually want to have sex with anyone.

At this point, I still have a very low drive towards having sex with other people and the range of people I'm attracted to is quite narrow, so part of what I was identifying when I was identifying as ace wasn't "wrong" (i.e., I'm not attracted to a LOT of people, and I mostly don't want to have sex with them). BUT, the sex repulsion I felt - the visceral "yuck" reaction I had at the thought of having sex with other people - WAS because of my bottom dysphoria.

Obviously we're all different etc etc, but from a 30yo trans man who went through the same experience, his is not unheard-of.

this is super great to hear from someone else who has lived it! I hope this is heartening to hear for the earlier anon and anyone else who might be feeling this way.

[vulpinesaint]

hi bracken 8 28 34 hehe

hi reid!!!!!! yay questions :D

8. any reacquiring dreams?

assuming that the original poster meant reoccurring dreams. little enamoured with the possibility of what a reacquiring dream might be. honestly though i do not dream that much!!! the last dream i remember having was like,,, god, upwards of three months ago? over winter break? when i had a really devastating dream about having a kid and taking my baby boy everywhere with me and looking down at him and realizing that he had my eyes and my freckles and then like. waking up. just fucking wrecked at the realization that i didn't have my child anymore. terrible.

accidentally deleted a whole paragraph just now i hate it here... anyway! 😭 definitely have repeating elements in my dreams. i've had a bunch where i am being chased and can't manage to run quite fast enough to get away from whatever's chasing me. i've had a few dreams where i can fly, too :) i wake up from a lot of dreams with a really strong sense of deja vu, and there's the whole thing where like. you are always dreaming once you hit rem or whatever it's just that you don't remember it, so there is the possibility of many more reoccurring dreams that i just do not remember...

28. do you collect anything?

not on purpose haha. don't rlly have the space for it atm and i'm not really a collecting guy even though i really enjoy having stuff :) if anything! books and weapon-themed jewelry. it's me and all my sword and knife shaped necklaces and earrings and rings

34. any pet peeves?

i am the pet peeves guy of all time. the hater ever even. not gonna say i have misophonia as a medical diagnosis or anything lmao but chewing and breathing sounds make me like. god. i try not to be an asshole about it but it is So Bad for me. whole body shudders just at the thought of it it makes me Viscerally upset/angry/disgusted and i have like Physical Reactions to it 😭 very sensitive to small noises in general; can't sleep if there's small inconsistent noises happening that i don't control. gotta be silent or white noise or music or smth haha. if i can hear the sound of someone breathing i Will Not be able to sleep to the point where i get so angryfrustrated over it that i cry real actual tears. being aromantic is actually not just a romantic orientation to me it's a defense mechanism against the possibility of being expected to share a bed with someone for the rest of my life lmao

sometimes it's just the sound of someone's voice too which is the WORST cause none of this is anyone's fault but when the sound of my mother's singing voice in church makes me like. sit there clenching and unclenching my fists and my jaw with repulsion just because Something about it grates (she is a professional singer and i have listened to her sing my entire life it's not a rational or reasonable response) it feels so shitty 😭 anyway... other pet peeve is people leaving stuff out in shared spaces haha

ty for sending little numbers i adore you <3

questions I think would be fun to be asked

[shaythoven]

I'm really quite vanilla by internet standards and so I forget that internet standards differ so greatly from people who simply do not interact with people outside their immediate circles online. Like of course I know the average non-online person doesn't know about ABO and mpreg and shit like that but surely the average person still runs into things they are averse to on the internet, right? The average person, when not looking for gay porn, for example, may still stumble across gay porn on Twitter. Anyway, I think this, but I every once in a while I remember watching the first season of white lotus with my mom and my sister and we got to the episode with the gay sex/rimming scene and my family is HORRIFIED. Like they did not know this sex act existed before this moment. And they have visceral reactions and I suddenly realize that I basically didn't react to it and that might be suspicious. So I belatedly also act horrified so they don't know that I come across graphic gay fanfiction and fan art on the daily (sometimes even on purpose) and I, a sex repulsed asexual, know about sex acts that would literally make them spontaneously combust. Anyway.

[thorntonkrell-blog-blog]

Welcome back to Riversend.

We have a tenet and a motto, now we need a slogan.

Our slogan comes from an ancient Aramaic idiom whose origin goes back to the very emergence of homo sapiens. The slogan became partially back in vernacular with the Three Stooges and was most championed by Curly who famously said the shortened version, "Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk."

This was an abbreviated form of our slogan "Nyukamyum."

"n" has always been used to denote "don't" which is to express a kind of warning.

"Don't yukamyyum."

It's important to differentiate phonetically. The onomatopoeic words "yeech," "yuck," and "yuk" are all used to express disgust or distaste, but they might carry slightly different nuances in different contexts or for different speakers.

Yeech is often used to convey a strong sense of disgust or revulsion. It might imply a more visceral reaction, as if something is particularly repulsive or nauseating and imitates the sound of gagging.

Yuck: is a more versatile term used to express distaste or dislike for something but it can also be used in a more playful or light-hearted manner compared to "yeech." A child might say "yuck" to express dislike for certain foods.

Yuk:" is also used to express disgust or distaste, but it can sometimes carry a sense of amusement or mockery along with it. It's often used in response to something or unpleasant, but with a hint of oxymoronic humor.

"Yum" is quite different from the previously mentioned words. While "yeech," "yuck," and "yuk" express disgust or distaste, "yum" expresses pleasure or enjoyment, particularly related to taste, opinion or activity. When someone says "yum," they are usually expressing that they find something tasty or enjoyable. It's essentially the opposite of the other words, conveying a sense of satisfaction or delight rather than disgust.

Thus we arrive at our ancient idiomatic slogan: don't yuk on my yum" Nyukamyum which essentially means "Don't spoil my enjoyment or excitement." It's often used to tell someone not to criticize or belittle something that another person finds enjoyable or appealing. The slogan suggests that everyone has their own preferences and tastes, and it's important to respect that diversity on the thirteenth floor in Riverend rather than dismissing or criticizing others' choices. Overall, it's a playful way of asking one another not to rain on our parade or kill our buzz.

Yeah, the river flows…..nyyukamyum.

And I pledge to nyukayayum.

We all in this together.

Time for another rivulet.

Let's start with a question. Whaddya call the the folks who finished last and second last in their med school?

Doctor and Doctor.

Two Docs

A paradox (groan)

Yeah Paradox.

A paradox is a statement or situation that seems contradictory or absurd but may actually be true or contain some truth. Paradoxes often challenge our understanding of logic or reality, presenting ideas that defy common sense or intuition. They can occur in various fields such as philosophy, mathematics, literature, and everyday life. Paradoxes often prompt deeper thought and reflection on the nature of truth, perception, and the limitations of human understanding.

Sounds a lot like religion to me.

This is why Riversend is based on our tenet, "If you're asking my opinion, don't take my advice."

In terms of religion, Paradox often serve to deepen believers' understanding of their faith. Paradox challenges believers to contemplate the mysteries and complexities of their religion, fostering a deeper spiritual insight.

Christianity: The Trinity: The concept of the Trinity, which asserts that God is three persons in one essence (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit), presents a paradoxical notion of unity and plurality within the divine nature. Incarnation: The belief that Jesus Christ is fully human and fully divine simultaneously presents a paradoxical union of humanity and divinity.

Islamic theology includes the belief in predestination (qadar), yet humans are also granted free will.

Judaism teaches the concept of the Jewish people being chosen by God, yet also emphasizes the universal moral obligations for all humanity.

Buddhism asserts that all phenomena lack inherent existence, yet this realization is considered essential for attaining enlightenment.

Hinduism posits the ultimate reality, Brahman, as the all-encompassing, impersonal cosmic force, while also recognizing the individual soul (atman) as a manifestation of Brahman, presenting a paradox of unity and multiplicity.

Karma and Reincarnation: The concepts of karma (action) and reincarnation (samsara) suggest that individuals reap the consequences of their actions across multiple lifetimes, yet also provide opportunities for spiritual liberation (moksha).

As we delve further into Riversend, we will discover further elements of paradox, particularly tomorrow when we will offer suggestions towards universal benefit which may appear contradictory to our basic tenet.

Stay tuned.

In the meantime…The River flows.

Nyukamayum.

What's up docs?

Like if you like.

Before moving forward here's another fabulous paradox: I am a liar.

Think that one over a minute.

Here's today's rivulet.

We are a transactional faith which means we actively accept suggestions from our brothers and sisters who have been inspired and inspire in turn.

We stay away from commandments as they often become a dogma eats dogma situation.

Suggestions you can take or ignore.

Here's some suggestions from sister Kathy that are in accordance with the spirit of Riversend.

Ask forgiveness from those you have wronged.

Do even more for those you have helped.

Understand those you have neglected

Thank those who have helped you.

We also have our secrets. Here's an essential secret which leads to a state of perpetual grace and perfect happiness. All you have to do is follow these six rules:

a) never gamble more than you can stand to lose

b) defer judgment while brainstorming

c) history not only repeats itself but it rhymes and it also rhymes with mystery.

d) the love you take is equal to the love you make

e) Never tell anyone everything that you know about anything.

Shoutout to Sister Kathy for dropping some wisdom on us: In other words;

If you messed up, own it and ask for forgiveness. Helped someone out? Keep that kindness train rolling. Don't forget about the folks you might've unintentionally ghosted. And hey, don't forget to thank those who got your back.

I'll be back Monday and once again I've asked Thornton to summarize the rivulets of this week tomorrow.

Like if you like.

Nyukamyum

[e-louise-bates]

I watched the preview. It’s appalling. I don’t care if her family approved it, it’s repulsive—I mean that quite literally, my visceral reaction was to throw my phone as far away from me as possible.

Not only that, it’s RUBBISH. It’s this garbled jumble of stuff from her books and her autobiography and her notebooks and the Detection Club and it’s not Agatha Christie at all (“the most important thing in my books is lots of bodies”—that is said tongue-in-cheek, not as an actual statement of fact you numpties).

If you really want to learn writing from Agatha Christie, read her books. Dissect them. Pick them apart and put them back together. Do not, for the love of Poirot, take this sick excuse for a “master class.”

If ever I become as successful as Agatha Christie, after I'm dead don't let BBC Maestro make a masterclass video series that we can all pretend was hosted by me, using an AI version of my face.

[piratesofthedarkwidesea]

So I’m just re-watching episode 3 and... I really love the scenes between Louis and Jonah and.. it just occurred to me how extremely human these scenes make Louis look? Like his accent getting all strong makes total sense in the context of him talking to someone from his youth, someone who is a Black man as well.

But it it also occurred to me this is the first (and only?!) time we really see Louis flirting? Like we’ve never seen him have this kind of confidence before? He was very much denying and fighting his homosexuality when he meets Lestat (you can see it quite explicitly in a couple of scenes, also him concluding this could never happen again after having sex with Lestat for the first time). But Jonah is somebody he is familiar with, someone he knows is also queer, plus it is already established there is some mutual attraction which is being rekindled. But it is Louis actively flirting with him. Asking if he remembers their shared youth [and their “early fumbles”], which is in part due to Lestat watching them, I guess, getting even with him in a way, calling him out on his “of course”. 

But but BUT what I really wanted to say (sorry for getting off track a bit there ahsdhoas) is... there is no vampire moves to it. There is no indication he’s reading his mind, influencing him in any way with his newly won powers (which he is also still rejecting to a degree at this point). Just some very human “do you remember” and “look at my cool car” (aiosdadhs Louis I can’t even 😂😂😂). It’s just so abusrdly cute and very deeply human in a way? 

And I do kinda see how Lestat is jealous here, because Louis has never been flirting with him like this. And he keeps telling Louis (and us) how much he wants Louis to explicitly say / show he loves him? 

I mean of course it is on the other hand very obvious how Louis wasn’t like that with Lestat when he met him. One part being him struggling a lot more with his sexuality and his shame about it there. But also Lestat is being very active in pursuing Louis. Louis describes it as being hunted (we’re gonna ignore the unreliable narrator level here bc I don’t wanna go this deep here - and also bc I do believe it in general terms, I guess). Like there are parts where we see Lestat taking it kinda slow, including Lilly there to ease Louis into it. But also then getting very insistent, basically jumping a distraught Louis who is in shock over the death of his brother (with he witnessed first hand, his mother blaming him for it etc.), not leaving him alone... But then here on the other hand also Louis isn’t being only passive here. I love how it is very clearly him initiating the kiss with Lestat after Lilly is out of the picture. All these nuances and complexities really are what makes their relationship so compelling I think!

And uh... I guess I also have some thoughts about Lestat courting Louis and Vampire Moves tbh (bc I introduced the absence of them in Louis flirting with Jonah) but this post is already so long 🙈 What it does probably boil down to though (not 100% sure bc I haven’t really thought this through yet). But, in my view, he isn’t even using his Vampire Moves much? Like yeah he is in Louis’ mind and showing some tricks but... more in a showing off way than in a manipulative way? Like whatever Louis is trying to tell us here, he is just really attracted to that French guy. He may also be repulsed by him in some ways (or maybe more by his visceral reaction(s) to him, hm, Louis?) but damn he wants to fuck that guy so bad it makes him look stupid. 

And yeah you might raise the argument that Lestat does use his Vampire Moves when he’s in Louis’ head, pestering him about how he is not gonna be ignored  right after Paul died. But he first walked up to him when the family were on their way to the cemetery and.. was pestering him in quite mundane ways there, you know? Like him being in his mind was driving it to a head a bit more quickly and dramatically maybe but... knowing Lestat he would probably also have been able to be an absolute pest, just showing up again and again, not taking no for an answer (and he basically does so in ep 6, doesn’t he?). So yeah Louis is talking about vampire bonds and mind gifts but... he attracted to him. Big time. I ain’t buying your angle here, Louis.

(Only that of course I kinda do, bc Lestat is a narcissistic manipulative shit in certain ways as well. And doesn’t take no for an answer. Neither in ep 1 nor in ep 6. But then ep 7... weeelll... layers and all 😅😂 But I hope you still get my point.) 

[missingn000]

tpg character mini-analysis: hajime kashimo + honor

i wanted to talk a bit about one of kashimo's defining traits that no other tpg character has: honor. after gojo meets them, he trudges away thinking kashimo has no moral structure, but this isn't...quite true. this quality shapes how hajime views the world as they evaluate others' actions based on a certain standard of conduct.

take a look at this line of theirs:

“What [the sorcerers] did back then in order to execute [Sukuna]…I can’t think of anything else so honorless. It doesn’t matter how many sorcerers he took down. There are some things you just don’t do.”

sukuna's yet-unrevealed backstory is incredibly devastating and tragic. in most people, it would evoke intense feelings of sympathy, sorrow, and anger on sukuna's behalf. others would say the people who did That to sukuna were heartless.

but instead kashimo says it was honorless. to them, this is the equivalent of the visceral reaction other people would've had. it's about perspective and priorities.

more below cut!

hajime continues to say:

They shake their head. “If the stories of what the sorcerers did to him back then are true...as far as I’m concerned, they deserved it.”

they deserved it. they DESERVED it? even mahito says he's surprised hajime would take sukuna's side. i'll say this conclusively about sukuna's backstory: the myth that after his failed execution, he wiped out an entire prefecture upon becoming a curse is true.

but hajime still thinks that punishment was deserved. what the sorcerers did to execute sukuna was so far beyond their rigid standard of conduct that such a fate was an appropriate punishment to them.

further, something that significantly annoys them about mahito is that he kills people who can't fight back. tpg 37 got long as hell, so i cut a few things, including this short snippet:

It’s not the violence that repulses them; that’d be illogical for someone whose body count is in the triple-digits. But there’s no honor in it, just slaughtering people who can’t even put up a fight. Kashimo’s fought more than their fair share of unsatisfying, ultimately one-sided battles, but that’s what they were: battles. Reciprocated killing intention. Of course weaklings deserve to die, but that’s a retroactive punishment.

they're repulsed at the idea of killing someone who's done nothing at all for no reason. killing the storehouse guards had a purpose: those people were in the way of their goals and actively fought back to try to stop them. but mahito frequently kills innocent people just for fun, which is completely honorless to them.

four hundred years ago, when sorcery was all about duels and death matches, honor existed in the place of laws or a legal structure. since death was a permitted end to a fight, there had to be something to keep sorcerers from just going around slaughtering people. honor is a form of social currency that earns respect and dignity within a community. conducting actions that fall outside its definition result in being hated and shunned.

however, despite mahito's misgivings, mahito is still rapidly becoming someone important to them -- the first person ever to be important to them. this does not fit in their current moral structure. take a look at what kashimo says when gojo is surprised they'd lay down their life to protect mahito:

Hajime flinches. “I made a promise,” they try. The glow beneath their eyes flickers, a store sign that can’t decide if it’s open or closed. “Breaking it would be honorless. I’d rather die than not be able to live with myself.”

Honor? No one has done anything strictly for honor in hundreds of years. “Is that really what you’re worried about?”

“Of course it is,” Hajime replies, after a delay too long to be entirely convincing. “I have no interest in forming bonds with others, least of all him.”

they're still pretty in denial regarding caring about mahito, so they're trying to convince themself it's about honor, because they can tie that to their existing values. since caring about someone is new, it's far more grounding to sort it into a value structure they already possess rather than face the horrifying ordeal of creating a new one that goes against their current worldview.

in that quote, they say they'd rather die than not be able to live with themself. honor is so important to them that the idea of acting without it is worse than death; they couldn't sleep at night. extreme, right? but i actually got this idea from canon.

take a look at this panel from hakari vs kashimo:

this. why did no one talk about this?? kashimo is someone who exists for fighting strong opponents. they let kenjaku brutally mutilate their body into a cursed object to incarnate four centuries into the future with the sole purpose of fighting sukuna. if hakari killed them here, that goal would not happen.

and yet.

they ask him to kill them. or rather, they think hakari should kill them. it was a fair fight. a fair loss of which they accept the outcome. therefore, they believe it is hakari's right to kill them. that's so, so interesting to me, and it really stands out against the backdrop of their otherwise shallow personality, so i just couldn't resist expanding on it.

their character will continue to develop throughout the story, so stay tuned. thanks for reading!

[outofangband]

Can you talk a bit about how Maedhros' five senses have been changed by his captivity?

Oh absolutely! I actually had a five part fic thing about that plus some bonus senses but this is a great idea to both compile things I previously said and add new ones

Angband World Building and Aftermath of Captivity Masterlist

CW: ableism/stigma towards survivors, assigning morality to symptoms, affects of torture

As always please feel free to ask more! I wrote this in between breaks at work so I hope it’s ok!

Sight/Light/Dark/Eyes

This and touch are probably what I’ve talked about the most

Maedhros suffers damage to one eye during his captivity from a venom. The damage to his vision mostly heals though the scar remains and he has some lingering headaches and occasional issues with depth perception

More troubling for him and others is the photosensitivity he experiences for awhile after his rescue. Maedhros seems repulsed, pained by the light. It makes sense of course. In Angband, he’s kept in darkness, dim chambers, clouded heights, often pitch black cells where the only light is from distant torches for so long not to mention the light he’s exposed to after his rescue is completely unfamiliar to him.

Maedhros strongly dislikes the Sun, shies away from it, has an almost visceral reaction to the curtains being opened (as seen in the wonderful illustration @ekalita-blr did for me ☀️☀️☀️☀️)

This of course adds to the speculation and rumors around him. Even from those who are aware of the physical reasons for his reaction, who understand the consequences of going from a dark, dim environment to open daylight, can be caught up in the unfortunate political and cultural implications of shying away from the light.

Even in the years after when the more physical affects have lessened, Maedhros never fully becomes used to sunlight and the stories of the Noldorin king then prince who longed for the dark he was rescued from never quite leave him either

His eyes unsurprisingly become more attuned to the darkness and he becomes well adept at navigating without sight.

We can also go into other potential modifications.

Hearing/Quiet/Balance/Vestibular

Maedhros’s physical ability to hear is largely unaffected but a lot of his hyper vigilance manifests in increased sensitivity to sound, awareness and detection of noise and dislike of loud noises. Conversely, he is also often unsettled by quiet.

Maedhros does suffer ringing headaches and some difficulties with balance in the first few years after his rescue. This in in part due to damage to his vestibular system as well as muscular damage that affects aspects of mobility in general.

Smell and taste

Like hearing, it’s largely unaffected physically but there are a number of olfactory triggers caused by Angband and many elicit a very physical reaction including gagging or even retching

Touch

Definitely the area I’ve talked about most. I’ve largely focused on the psychological aspects in other posts though so here’s more physical.

Maedhros suffers extensive muscular, nerve and tissue damage in Angband that affects his sensations. His legs have large areas around his thighs and calves for example that have all but lost sensation though occasionally get pins and needles or stinging sensations.

Two fingertips on his left hand have also lost sensation.

The psychological aspects I’ve gone into before but I’m always happy to talk more if anyone wants to ask 🍃

This is from a variety of forms of abuse and neglect including deliberate damage and extended enforced immobility

I talked about temperature perception here!

Proprioception

This one is rather complicated because I personally have neurological issues that affect my proprioception so it’s very hard for me to describe in others.

I think that it is heavily damaged for Maedhros though in both physical and psychological ways. Extreme dissociation can manifest as difficulties with proprioception and I think this comes up a lot. Related to balance/vestibular as well, Maedhros has waves of vertigo that often come with severe lack of orientation

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

Aminata may be in love with Baru, Exhibit C. We're focusing on just one passage now, which come right after they've been properly reunited. Aminata has just observed Baru make a great effort to be honest with her, embraced her, and then felt a sad sort of longing when Baru let go. Baru then reunited with her lover Ulyu Xe, and this was Aminata's reaction:

It felt weird to watch her friend kiss a woman. Not good weird. But weird like eating cantaloupe, which Aminata hated. You could see, theoretically, why someone else liked it.

The construction of this passage is excellently ambiguous, suggesting two contradictory interpretations, depending on what specifically is making Aminata feel "weird". The most straightforward interpretation is that Aminata is straight, and having grown up in a society that condemns queerness, is uncomfortable seeing her friend openly express her queerness. The other interpretation is that Aminata is uncomfortable watching Baru kiss a woman because it makes Aminata think about the possibility of Baru kissing her. I normally go for the answer that requires the fewest assumptions, but in this case I have a few things that make me find the first explanation insufficient.

Firstly, Aminata is aware of Baru's lesbianism and has contemplated it bluntly before without any hint of discomfort or revulsion. You could argue that this is an example of someone's private morality not quite lining up with their instantaneous reactions on the real world, but I think if the author wanted us to draw the conclusion that Aminata was viscerally repulsed, in spite of being ethically/intellectually unbothered, he would have seeded that discomfort somewhere else to make this feel like a natural outgrowth of Aminata's internal monologue. He didn't. What he seeded instead, mere sentences before this, was that Aminata was upset because Baru had stopped touching her.

Secondly, that last sentence contains an unusual amount of hedging and depersonalization for Aminata's inner monologue. Aminata's thoughts are usually very blunt, shaped by her conviction in duty, her self-consciousness about how she is perceived, and the justifiable rage that accompanies that self-consciousness. She rarely attaches so many qualifiers to her thoughts. The "theoretically" especially stands out to me as a shield against her own desires. It reminds me strongly of the "theoretical" scenarios I would construct in the early days of approaching the idea that I might not be straight. It reads to me like Aminata projecting to protect her own image of herself as a straight woman definitely not in love with her best and oldest friend that she can't quite be sure is trustworthy.

None of this is conclusive, but I'm having a great time with this reading of Aminata as a woman who is very insistently not in romantic bisexual love with her best friend haha what are you talking about haha two girls? ew!!!

I can't wait to see what else jumps out at me through this lens

[kindness-ricochets]

I’ve been seeing a lot of thoughts and hc of autistic wylan lately and you seem to also be a fan of the concept. May I ask why? Exactly? I could definitely kinda see it but wanna hear you thoughts you’re always so eloquent

Hey there anon! Sorry for the delay—I’m guessing you already found an answer to this elsewhere while I was off Tumblr for a bit, but just in case, here are my thoughts. This will be heavily personal, but… well, you can’t very well ask an autistic person about autism and expect neutrality!

Autism is different for everyone and can be difficult to pin down, so while Wylan is arguably autistic, he misses several beats that for me would have made him definitively and undeniably autistic. For example, when the bells start to ring, triggering black protocol—I work in a place with a lot of bells and am frequently caught too close to one and normally press my hands over my ears until it’s over because that sound is like shrapnel raking across my insides. All of them. Not just the ear and brain parts. Wylan doesn’t have that sort of visceral reaction, but that may just mean he doesn’t have the same sensitivities that I do, or to the same level. He also never, that I recall, eats meat—as weird as that might sound, eating meat is incredibly complicated with heightened sensitivities to taste and texture. I’m not sure how old I was when I realized it was strange to get up from the table to spit out my food because it viscerally repulsed me. So it might be that Wylan is autistic and has different experiences than I do. Those are things I would include in a story as major indicators of a character being autistic. This might also mean that his father’s way of raising him taught him to hide unusual reactions and stimming behaviors. It’s not that much of a reach to assume a man who tried to abuse the dyslexia out of his son would take the same approach to autism. (More on autism and abuse later.)

So while I’m going to lay out why I read Wylan as autistic, that’s why I think it’s valid to read him as not being autistic as well. Both are valid.

A final caveat, I am well overdue for a reread of the books, so I likely left something out or could have found better examples. Take this as a few of my reasons for a personal headcanon. Anyone who feels differently, that's fine! We can each read things our own way :)

1 - Hyperfixation: The way Wylan loves music

Most of the Crows’ backgrounds color how they see the world: Kaz’s shrewdness, Matthias’s tactical thinking and superstition, Inej’s faith and Suli wisdom, etc. That’s a sign of good character writing. But very little of Wylan’s upbringing seems to have influenced how he sees the world. It comes closest when he thinks about how his father would scorn his new friends, but we never see that scorn from Wylan.

The way a hyperfixation feels, it’s like you’ve always lived in a close parallel world, never fully been a part of the other one where it seems like everyone else lives, but suddenly there’s this bright shining piece of your soul laced through the other world. It lets you connect, it lets you exist in their realm, and you can’t help but filter everything new through that lens because it’s the brightest, most wonderful thing. (I had been between hyperfixations for a while when I started a new job; six months into that work, I read Crooked Kingdom. One of my coworkers thought I had fallen in love, it was that marked a difference.)

So, combining these: Wylan never really acts like he was part of his father’s world, and indeed is in some ways separate from the other Crows, but he parses everything through music, his hyperfixation. He sets words to music to remember them, like he does with the contract. Even his own anxiety is made sense of through music, when in his first narrated chapter, he sets it to music: what am I doing here what am I doing here…. When he’s overwhelmed, his thoughts are “a jangle of misplayed chords”. The Crows have backgrounds that influence how they react to the world, but Wylan’s hyperfixation is his means of experiencing and understanding the world.

2 - Literal thinking: Wylan responds to exact words

In this post, I went into detail on the line where Wylan suggested waking up men to kill them. Wylan is generally unsupportive of killing people—Oomen, Smeet’s clerk, his father… he advocates not-murder in each of these situations. Accepting his aversion to murder, his suggestion to wake men up and kill them seems like a genuine reaction to Jesper saying he doesn’t want to kill unconscious men. Wylan takes things literally.

This happens the most with Jesper, probably because Jesper talks to Wylan the most. Nina and Matthias don’t really register him past how he might be useful, Inej is usually quite direct, and Kaz is very deliberate when he speaks with Wylan. This really interests me because Kaz tends to vary his speech more than the others do, he adapts more to being around other people. He jokes a little with Jesper, spars with Nina, speaks more openly and more sharply with Inej, and he’s precise with Wylan. Kaz may not know what autism is, but he recognizes what’s effective with Wylan.

Another example is when Wylan is sketching the Ice Court plans and Jesper says it looks like a cake. There are plenty of valid responses here: pointing out that concentric circles look like lots of things, that it’s just a sketch, telling Jesper to stop looking over his shoulder. Instead, Wylan says that the Ice Court is sort of like a cake. That… doesn’t sound like something Wylan would normally say. He’s not addressing the whole situation, he’s addressing the specific words Jesper said.

One of the most heartbreaking examples of this (to me, anyway) is with Marya. Wylan does the same thing with his mother, when she asks if he’s there for her money and says she hasn’t got any, and his response is, “I don’t either.” We understand as readers that what Marya is communicating here is that she is so accustomed to being utterly ignored unless she is being used, and if she told Wylan that no one visited but to take advantage and she assumed he was here for the same reason, he would say it wasn’t the case. But he just responds to the immediate statement.

There are a lot of examples of this.

3 — 0% perception, 100% creativity

Wylan can identify things that don’t make sense or that he doesn’t understand, but at the beginning of the series he can’t make leaps, only ask questions. On the Ferolind, he wonders about the source of water at the Ice Court; though Kaz doesn’t say as much, he was clearly wondering, too, because he eventually figured out the underground river. There’s an interesting parallel here where, in the beginning of Crooked Kingdom, Wylan asks a question about how they’ll break into Smeet’s and Kaz tells him to use his eyes instead of running his mouth—at which point Wylan is able to figure it out. I don’t think this is because he never tried before, though, but because no one ever bothered to teach him. Kaz can be harsh but he gives harsh corrections rather than harsh rejections and Wylan learns from him.

It’s hard to understand the world for people with autism. The world is designed and run by and for people whose minds are fundamentally different from ours, whose thoughts and experiences are unlike ours. Imagine trying to learn English or Spanish or Mandarin or any other spoken language if your first language was olfactory. That’s sort of what it’s like for someone with autism to just get dropped into the world and expected to figure this out.

This can be attributed to Wylan’s upbringing, but I disagree with that because none of the others were brought up in the Barrel, either, and Wylan doesn’t understand trade or politics with any special skill. Kaz wasn’t born in the Barrel, but he managed to go from “stealing is wrong” to “wrong isn’t my concern” real quick; Colm Fahey didn’t raise his son on gambling and firefights; the Ghafas never expected their daughter to be away from the family. Only Nina has relevant training—and even that’s precious little, she left school way too early. The others figured it out; Wylan needed a bit more help. He also seems surprised by the way his father conducts business. Wylan takes things on face value—like the time he’s surprised someone would do something, simply because it’s unlawful. This is something he expresses to a group of gangsters. He’s never been taught the way of any world and these things are not intuitive to him.

But Wylan isn’t stupid.

He doesn’t know how to understand the world, but he does understand how things go together. Given a pointy diamond, a handle, and a screw, he cut through Grisha glass. He carries flashbangs and magic napalm, he recreates military hardware—Wylan understands how to make things interact for a specific result. But to me the most telling thing isn’t just that he puts together chemical pieces, it’s that he figured out Jesper controlled bullets. He saw the pieces and put them together.

Wylan can understand when things don’t make sense, but he can’t make sense of them—yet when he understands things at their basic level, he understands them without preconception, for what they are. This is a very autistic way of thinking about things, it goes back to the literalism. He can’t make the leaps of logic other people can, but he also doesn’t make the assumptions they do—“I’ve never heard of a bullet Grisha, so that’s not a thing” vs “Well Jesper’s an almost impossibly good shot and he controls metal and bullets are metal, so why not?”

4 - Broken brain/body connection

Wylan’s great at chemistry and drawing and playing flute or piano—but he’s something of a disaster other times. This is in particular contrast to the other characters, all of whom are physically adept. Meanwhile it’s a challenge for Wylan to climb a rope ladder and he spends a full paragraph trying to figure out what to do with his hands. It’s easy to say, well, he’s used to a sedentary lifestyle, but at this point he’s not. He’s worked in the tannery for months. He’s just physically awkward.

I have less to say on this point only because it’s about something I don’t fully understand myself. I don’t really understand what it would be like to have a body that just… does things? Like normal stuff? Without tics and stims. No idea. Only that Wylan’s discomfort in and seeming lack of mastery of his own body feels very relatable to me.

5 - Abuse

One of the most familiar things about Wylan is how he has been so thoroughly abused and broken down that he’s afraid to do or say much of anything. Again, this is a place his background can be an obscuring factor. Of course Wylan didn’t think to blow up the walls when the first met the parem-juiced jurda and got trapped, he’s a spoiled rich kid! Except, he also startled when Jesper said his name later. Wylan didn’t hesitate because he was spoiled, he hesitated because he had no confidence.

He also thinks Kaz would laugh at him for playing music at his mother’s grave. Now, personally, I can’t see Kaz laughing at Wylan—being indifferent, thinking it’s pointless sentimentality, shaking his head, maybe commenting sharply that they need to go if they don’t have the time. But not laughing. Kaz is a snarky, sharp-edged jerk sometimes, but he doesn’t go out of his way to criticize, he just lets people know when they inconvenience him.

Wylan has been trained to identify attention as negative by an overbearing abusive father who literally saw him as less favorable than a demon. Now, that may have been hyperbole, but Jan criticized everything he could about Wylan—art, music, emotion—and made clear that he was worthless and competent to nothing. (Jan Van Eck can suck a rotten donkey dick but that’s neither here nor there.)

A lot of people with autism experience levels of bullying that have similar impacts. Or as the kids these days are calling it: we go to school. We go to school where we are weird. Where we look weird and move weird and talk about weird things and there’s a whole little bevy of asswipes to makes sure we know it. I got teased more for playing Pokemon and sitting alone reading than the kid who pissed himself onstage at assembly. (This was before Pokemon was cool. I’m old.) And that is not unusual for autistic kids. It’s also not unusual for this to be compounded by relatives or even parents who may be trying to help but don’t understand and can make things even harder.

So we can’t read social cues and we’re taught at a vicious age that everything that comes naturally to us is wrong. Imagine trying to interact in society with that background. There is no guide and most advice from neurotypical people isn’t actually what they mean. It breaks you down.

Wylan’s anxiety isn’t definitive of autism, but isn’t something that was incredibly familiar as someone whose neurodivergent experiences created a strong level of anxiety.

6 — High Compassion, Low Social Competence

Wylan isn’t very good at making friends. In fact, none of the Crows likes him much in the beginning, and only some of them soften toward him by the end. (Matthias and Nina come to respect his skills as a chemist but neither seems to particularly like him.) But you can see throughout the books that Wylan wants to connect with them and be one of them, he just… isn’t. He’s off-beat. He’s weird. He asks questions and mimics behaviors (trying to be cool and tough like Jesper, saying “mission” like Matthias does, imitating Kaz’s scheming face) but he doesn’t quite get how to adapt.

But he still cares about people. Not just them. Everyone. He cares about the people they leave in the ditch outside the prison wagon, he cares about Hanna Smeet, he cares about Alys. He cares about the people who’ll take a hit from Kaz’s sugar caper.

Wylan’s awkward social skills have undeniable big autism energy. I posit his compassion does as well. This is simply who Wylan is, and that means being someone who cares about everyone. I have nothing to back up that this is related to autism. I can say that it’s like me. (Not to brag.) I can’t turn off the part of my brain that says everyone matters. Individuals can opt out of that compassion, but they have it by default. There’s a certain agony in feeling a pull toward and love for just about everyone and yet an inability to develop meaningful connections with them, and that keen loneliness… it just burns.

Again, it’s not definitive of autism, but it’s very similar to an autistic experience.

I said in the beginning that I didn’t think Wylan certainly had autism and I stand by that, but he is a powerfully honest reflection of many people who do. So he can be understood to have autism, and that’s part of the reason some people have that headcanon.

[guardsbian]

5 for Seer, 30 for Ukemochi!

Seer —

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Generally, Seer is always exceptionally prepared- he's never short on pockets, partially because when it comes to actually smithing it's easier to have all his supplies be accessible, but also because it suits his style and sensibilities. Absolutely imperative to carry is his cane, a staple of navigation in Lantern's Light for blind dragons like himself and sighted dragons alike, and a constant collect of rings and coins for any trading he might need to do. Though he's not especially confident in combat, a knife is usually a safe bet too, but he'd rather travel with a friend or boyfriend who's better versed than himself.

Otherwise, extremely simple rations, a box of matches, a bit of cording, a roll of bandages, and a limited multitool make for quite the prepared dragon. Some may call it overkill, but one never knows who they may need to help in the streets of Lantern's Light, and Seer would rather be safe than sorry.

Ukemochi —

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

In terms of purely physical things (as in, not moral, because that feels too elaborate to describe aside from the obvious things she'd find repulsive), Ukemochi has a fairly high tolerance for general filth and decay, though she still prefers to avoid it when unnecessary. Even carcasses and the rot they invite is largely innocuous to her, considering how closely she's had to work with it in cultivating her magic.

However, the same insensitivity has never carried over to draconic or beastly bodies. She's unsettled even without bloodshed, finding herself deeply uncomfortable with any body that could look alive, but especially can't bring herself to look at noticeably wounded or rotted corpses. She supposes it might be that she can almost feel life draining from a body- even if it's too late by the time she sees it, there's just a terrible, familiar emptiness that's nothing short of gut-wrenching to feel in combination with something that once had so much intelligent life and magic within it.

Some might criticize her for having such a visceral reaction in a Flight that's built around the necessity of death, or even call her a hypocrite for using death to fuel her magic in one area while feeling repulsed by it in another. But it's not as if Ukemochi has always been the ideal Plague dragon, anyways.

[minniepetals]

I'm so freaking excited for Hobi to get to explicitly love her again. You can see it in the way he is still protective of her that he never stopped loving her. The way you write their intimacy is so lovely. I love seeing intimacy that isn't strictly sexual because I feel like a lot of people forget about romantic intimacy. I'll be so happy when she allows herself to fall back into him again. I'm assuming the physical affection aspect is the reason I relate so strongly to y/n and the way you write the distance wholeheartedly makes me crave them getting to literally brush hands. I'm curious if you think it'll cause tension between Hobi and the boys when she let's him in again? I feel like it might remind tae, kookie, and jimin how much they cared for her and probably start to feel guilty. Kookie especially after the brief way he reacted to vaguely hearing about what these other men had done to her. But not quite sure about yoongi or jin. Although the repulsion on Joons behalf I feel absolutely viscerally. Which I feel is because he always saw her as someone who was powerless in a way. Not necessarily demeaning, but she quite literally got traded as a token and he didn't seem to ever fully grasp how powerful she could be until he broke everything. I'm just curious on how you might approach the boys' reactions to y/n being okay with Hobi. ~🫀 sorry that got long 😚

i feel like when she finally lets hoseok in, it'll be after they realize their mistakes and have already come to regret things. so even if it'll hurt them, they'll also understand -- how can they not? everyone including bangtan knows hoseok was the only one to never give up on her so if it's anyone that deserves her love then they know it's him and solely him. it'll be something they expect but expectation doesn't mean being relieved from pain. they'll definitely envy him and it'll create tension but they'll be understanding because overall they'll respect her and her decisions.

though honestly i can already see the tension between hoseok and the boys (from the moment y/n returned). hoseok loves them, obviously, but he also resents them for doing what they did to his precious girl. his monologue will be touched on in chapter 14 and you'll get an insight to his thoughts a little more. overall the boys' reactions to y/n being okay with hoseok will be understanding. i don't want to make them petty and more hateful. they're going to have to own up to their mistakes and they're going to feel the consequences. what they put y/n through is much worst than what they'll feel when she only lets hoseok in -- and they'll understand that.

(also i never mind reading long paragraphs, i actually prefer them over the short ones)

[thorntonkrell-blog-blog]

What's good y'all?

Welcome back to Riversend.

We have a tenet and a motto, now we need a slogan.

Our slogan comes from an ancient Aramaic idiom whose origin goes back to the very emergence of homo sapiens. The slogan became partially back in vernacular with the Three Stooges and was most championed by Curly who famously said the shortened version, "Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk."

This was an abbreviated form of our slogan "Nyukamyum."

"n" has always been used to denote "don't" which is to express a kind of warning.

"Don't yukamyyum."

It's important to differentiate phonetically. The onomatopoeic words "yeech," "yuck," and "yuk" are all used to express disgust or distaste, but they might carry slightly different nuances in different contexts or for different speakers.

Yeech is often used to convey a strong sense of disgust or revulsion. It might imply a more visceral reaction, as if something is particularly repulsive or nauseating and imitates the sound of gagging.

Yuck: is a more versatile term used to express distaste or dislike for something but it can also be used in a more playful or light-hearted manner compared to "yeech." A child might say "yuck" to express dislike for certain foods.

Yuk:" is also used to express disgust or distaste, but it can sometimes carry a sense of amusement or mockery along with it. It's often used in response to something or unpleasant, but with a hint of oxymoronic humor.

"Yum" is quite different from the previously mentioned words. While "yeech," "yuck," and "yuk" express disgust or distaste, "yum" expresses pleasure or enjoyment, particularly related to taste, opinion or activity. When someone says "yum," they are usually expressing that they find something tasty or enjoyable. It's essentially the opposite of the other words, conveying a sense of satisfaction or delight rather than disgust.

Thus we arrive at our ancient idiomatic slogan: don't yuk on my yum" Nyukamyum which essentially means "Don't spoil my enjoyment or excitement." It's often used to tell someone not to criticize or belittle something that another person finds enjoyable or appealing. The slogan suggests that everyone has their own preferences and tastes, and it's important to respect that diversity on the thirteenth floor in Riverend rather than dismissing or criticizing others' choices. Overall, it's a playful way of asking one another not to rain on our parade or kill our buzz.

Yeah, the river flows.....nyyukamyum.

And I pledge to nyukayayum.

We all in this together.