#recovery is possible

[s1rawb3rry]

happy one year ED-anorexia recovery to me <3

[sweetpotatough]

Its insane to me how people just... eat. No thoughts about calories, no worries about weight, no tracking, no noise, no obsessing over your next meal. Food just being food.

[maxiglow]

hot girls nourish their bodies ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

[mauvelsy]

recovering doesn't mean not having urges to relapse, recovering means fighting those urges 🤍

[pessimistperfection]

A recovery win

Today I looked in a mirror, and instead of feeling a complete and overwhelming disgust for what i saw, I felt happy. I looked at myself, and I genuinely felt pretty. 4 years of an eating disorder that I thought would free me from hating my body when i was "sick", or "skinny" enough, and when I begin to gain weight I start to love myself. Its scary how much an ED can warp our view on ourselves.

Recovery is worth it, you are worth it.

[azialways]

feel absolutely free to ignore if this subject is too tender, but could you write something with ronin seeing his partners self scars, something soft and comforting?

sorry if there are mistakes, English is not my first 😊

Heal with me

ronin x sh!recovering reader

cw: mentions of sh, scars, addiction, mental health struggles

YOUR MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS! PLEASE SEEK HELP IF YOURE STRUGGLING! DMS ARE ALWAYS OPEN <3

You were insecure about your scars. For the longest time you were, even when you were a teenager and you first took the blade to your skin, it felt wrong. You struggled as a teenager with depression and anxiety, and you used self harm as a coping mechanism, albeit not a good one, but you didn’t have anywhere else to go. Your story was nothing short of a tragedy, but that wasn’t important. At least, you didn’t think it was important until one night, you and Ronin got drunk and the two of you spilled your life’s secrets and struggles. Luckily he was so shitfaced he didn’t remember you bringing up your old self harm habits, but part of you felt bad for lying. The truth is, self harm was a part of who you were when you were younger; you were the cutter at school, your home life wasn’t great yet your parents still had the time to make fun of you for it. You didn’t have many friends at school or out, because news spreads like wildfire in small towns. Nobody wanted to be friends with the cutter and the suicidal kid, so you moved out as soon as humanly possible. You were addicted to drugs for a while, constantly reliant and needing, but since you quit, your life turned around quick.

You did the therapy, you did the psych ward stays, and now here you are. You made it past your 18th birthday, and then your 21st, and now here you are, still alive past it. And you were happy you were, because you were in love with this man who was actually a serial killer. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you first joined the server, but you chose to stay, and then you fell in love. Sure, he was a serial killer, but he was mostly killing people that deserved it, so you could get behind it. You and Ronin weren’t the most intimate couple, because you were always so anxious about him seeing your scars. You feared his disapproval, his love dying because of your history with issues. You didn’t want him thinking you were going to be a problem, especially when you finally recovered. People had left you for much less, and you didn’t need him leaving too.

You always felt there was a big elephant in the room whenever you didn’t have a coat on, and it broke so many friendships and relationships. Your family would always stare, your friends always stared, even if they already knew, they’d always stare. Everyone is almost always noticing that instead of you you are, and that constant judgement always makes you feel even shittier about yourself. You already had low self esteem because of it, sometimes you’d look at your arms and think of just how ugly they were, and how it was all your fault. You didn’t want the only person who loved you to think less of you because of it. Sure, he should love you regardless, but you didn’t want him to feel awkward because of it.

But one day, he walked in on you taking your hoodie, and the conversation was completely inevitable.

“Oh shit-my bad-Darling?” You quickly realized and shoved your hoodie back on. He walked in, gently approaching you. He approached you like he knew how to talk to you, and it made you feel slightly reassured.

“Baby…is that why you don’t wanna wear short sleeves?” He asked, joining you on the bed. And you just nodded, and he offered his hands out to hold you. You agreed, cuddling up against him. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to your head.

“Wanna talk about it?” He offered, and you nodded your head.

“You have questions, I can tell.”

“I do, but you don’t have to answer them. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I’ll answer them, Ro.” You muttered into his shoulder.

“Why didn’t you tell me…? Darling, I have scars too. From my surgeries, nasty ones…I know what it’s like to feel insecure about them.”

“I know but that’s different.”

“Scars are just signs of our battles, baby.” He spoke softly, stroking your hair. “And you’re the strongest person i’ve ever fuckin seen. I mean dealing with me? Takes a soldier.”

“God you’re so corny.” You mumbled, and he just laughed.

“Alas. it’s true though, you don’t gotta hide from me…I won’t ever think any less of you, okay?”

“I know but…it’s me too.”

“Why, do you think I'll think differently? self esteem? talk to me.” He asked, genuinely wanting to hear what you say.

“Bit of both.” You responded.

“I promise you, I think you’re the hottest, most amazing person, scarred or not. And for the record, I think scars are sexy, so how about that?”

“God you’re so unserious.” You laughed, genuinely laughing at his stupidity. He was an idiot, an unserious one, but your idiot nonetheless. You loved him, you loved him more than anything, and the fact he still saw you as beautiful even with your scars made you see him in a whole other light. He was truly a sweet guy under the whole “devil” persona he put up. He honestly wasn’t that devilish, even if he had his moments. He was a supportive boyfriend, one who loved you like you were the most holy thing ever. He loved you like he loved murder, like he loved his crowbar. He worshipped you, treated you like you were the most precious, like you were only to be loved by him. And you loved that about him, you needed that soft love, the gentle and slow love. Sure, you could go into the deeper, more intimate parts, but you also loved this type of love. You didn’t feel the need to rush things, because you were just getting back into dating for the first time since you were in recovery.

So for now, baby steps. One foot in front of the other, and it’ll all work out in the end. It did before, and it will now.

[sweetpotatough]

Going to get ICECREAM and I'm gonna ENJOY MYSELF and NOT CARE ABT WHAT MOM SAYS OR EATS💪💪💪💪

[azzy-inwonderland]

I just used this and I thought it would be helpful.

I was hungry but nothing sounded good and I didn’t have an appetite so I decided to have one of my childhood favorites, Annie’s Mac and cheese. I added broccoli and corn to it to make it have more nutrients and I blended the cheese powder with cottage cheese to add more protein. Add don’t restrict.

[mauvelsy]

hey, i've just started my recovery journey today. i've spent about 3 months undereating and trying to lose unnecessary w8. i know it's not a lot and people struggle with this disorder for years (makes me feel really unvalid) i noticed how much i lost, i don't even have the energy to play my favourite sport as i used to. my parents noticed and worry about it, my mom is sad because she thinks i dont like the way she cooks. i was never sent to an 3d recovery center or had any bigger body problems (unvalid) i started to notice how scared i am of food, which literally keeps me alive. i'm very young, i'm turning 14 in february, this made me realize that i don't want to waste my life worrying and feeling the way i feel right now. i spent a lot of time on the wrong side of tumblr and i came here, hoping it'll motivate me and support me 🩷

[marionmabelle]

“coquette aesthetic” but it’s just a photo of a thigh gap and bony hands 🤨

[s1rawb3rry]

tw: eating disorder recovery

whenever i find old photos of myself when i was drowning in my ed, it just breaks my heart...

i deserved better.

and so do you.

[intothetwilight]

Clothes come in bigger sizes for a reason.

Because bodies come in bigger, smaller, rounder, taller, and all variations in between.

Coming to terms with the fact that I am not 17 anymore, and this is just how my body wants to look has been the hardest part of recovery. Sometimes it's hard to remember that I am almost 40, and that even if I starved myself to rail thin I still would not look like I looked at 17, and I'm holding onto an image of a person who hasn't existed for a very long time.

It's OKAY to change and GROW. Whether you're almost 40 or still in your 20's. It's okay to be okay with a bigger body. You're not ugly, you're not disgusting, you are YOU.

Imperfection is beauty.

[azzy-inwonderland]

Can pro Ana accounts stop following me💀

[sweetpotatough]

Me when talking to someone about how I'm feeling actually helps

[mauvelsy]

this disorder makes me feel that i'm recovering too fast and struggling too less and that i should keep on recovering but never fully recover because otherwise i was faking it all the way through, i was not valid and i can't claim i was 4norexic.