#reference to one of my earlier posts lol
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gallusgremlin · 1 month ago
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i just had a stupid thought. "mr. orange" sounds like one of those quirky alcoholic drinks. do with this as you will
the noise behind the blender
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should he drink it
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seaofreverie · 9 months ago
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NEW CONCERT ON THE HORIZON..... Going to see Franz Ferdinand next year !!!
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true-blue-sonic · 2 years ago
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What do you think of Silver’s social skills? It’s assumed he doesn’t know how to interact with others because there were no people in his bad future but he actually mentions other people pointing him to the flames in Sonic 06 even if we don’t see them.
I feel that Silver's "poor" social skills can be traced back to his black-and-white mindset and clear-cut honest directness. Starting with whether there were people around: indeed, even if we do not see them in '06, Silver himself mentions in his intro cutscene that there are other people. He furthermore says he talks to them, where I would even say it can be taken as if he's almost badgering them for more information ("How did this happen? No-one will answer me directly. But they always point... to the flames." With 'always', he could just mean every person he asks, but it can also be that he asks the same persons repeatedly and that is their response every time.). And bios state he accepted Blaze for who she was while other people were teasing her for her flames, though the canonicity of the bios is a bit shaky since various ones contain information proven false by the game itself. As for after '06 erased itself from the timeline, we move to Rivals 1, where Eggman Nega is implied to have stolen the camera from someone else (also this information can potentially be contradicted by Silver calling it "his [Eggman Nega's] camera, though). That would indicate that also that future is not an empty one people-wise. Rivals 2 seems to have a bad future that got undone through stopping the release of the Ifrit ("I hope the new future is a happy one." says Silver at the end of the game), which moves to Colours DS where he says everybody's got a smile. So, good future or bad, Silver's era is not a people-devoid wasteland, I think we can safely conclude!
And then secondly, I think Silver's social skills are poor because of the honesty that I've mentioned before. For example, in his Sonic Channel story (not the Isekai, those before that), he travels to Soleanna to warn the officials there that a giant bridge is about to collapse... using as argument that he knows that because he is from the future, thus making nobody believe him. He's right, of course! But his honesty gets him into trouble in the way that nobody sees he's speaking the truth, because the truth is just so unbelievably. Similarly, in Rivals 2, Knuckles mocks him for thinking the Chao can help stop the destruction of the world, which makes Silver lose his temper. And also there, he is right... but in an unbelievable way for anyone locked out of the loop, and thus he is not listened to. At least in TSR everyone immediately accepts Silver's statements that Eggman and Dodon Pa are working together, but honestly, considering everything Eggman has pulled over the years it'd be strange if they suddenly trusted this time he was playing nice, haha.
I have not played '06 myself (I should look into downloading P-06 on my laptop), but if I am not mistaken, Silver goes around there asking people in the past about the Iblis Trigger. Thus, he is clearly not afraid to go up to others and ask them for information. But I believe not many people are able to help him? So generally, I think Silver's social skills can come off poorly because of his honesty, which can work against him in situations where being more vague would have been better (e.g. telling the officials that people are worried about the bridge stability, or that he's gone there and it seems as if it'll break, or something like that). Similarly, especially in the Rivals games, any slight against his mission and questioning/mocking of what he says tends to make him angry, which also does not further communication. But it does not seem as if he cannot interact with people at all: he's not afraid to go up to others in '06 and the Rivals games (he got the jump on Espio there too, lol) and ask them for things or information that will bring him further along with his mission. And in Colours DS, Generations, Forces, and TSR he's plenty amiable towards Sonic and co., who also similarly treat him as someone they like having around and someone who is worth listening to. So interacting with people is not the issue, it's his honesty that's getting him into trouble and makes it difficult for Silver to get people to listen to him, I think. But it seems that once people get to know him better, they learn he always tells the truth, so that makes it easier for them to listen.
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hyuckiefluff · 4 months ago
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call out my name | lee jeno
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pairing: stepbrother! lee jeno x fem reader genre + wc: smut / enemies to lovers-ish | 17k+ summary: your stepbrother suddenly starts acting a bit different after fixing your laptop, and you wonder if it has anything to do with the endless posts you’ve made about wanting him to fuck you brainless. content warning: stepcest, voyeurism, masturbation, cheating, smoking and brief mentions of drug use, unprotected sex, hard dom jeno, oral (fem receiving), face riding weee, semi-public sex, multiple orgasms, jeno is a bit mean (but like in a hot way), lmk if i missed any! a/n: haven’t written for jeno in soooo long and my body needed it. also, beatbox era jeno still has me in a chokehold, so i imagined him looking exactly like that while writing this. that mullet-undercut combo was LETHAL i need him to reheat his own nachos expeditiously. also the lowercase is back too, i'm still trying to figure out if i like this more lol ps: if u catch the twilight reference you’ll get a kiss from me :p
jeno stomped into your room, hands shoved deep into his hoodie pocket, jaw tight with irritation. your voice still echoed in his head.
‘fix my laptop and i won’t tell your dad you’ve been skipping almost every class since the semester started.’
fix it? he wasn’t a damn IT guy. and how the hell did you even know he’d been skipping? what were you, a stalker?
seriously, it wasn’t his fault you couldn’t take care of your stuff. and why couldn’t you just take the damn thing to a repair shop?
“i need it for college work,’ you’d said.
yeah, right. like he didn’t hear you at night. his room was right next to yours, and those walls were way too thin. not only were you loud, but you also needed headphones, because he could hear exactly what kind of videos you watched.
he exhaled sharply through his nose, stepping up to your desk. the laptop sat there, taunting him in its sickly sweet pink case covered in hello kitty stickers.
“god, what a child,” he muttered, dragging a hand down his face before plopping onto your chair. the cushion was still warm from you sitting there earlier. he flipped the laptop open, and a password prompt appeared.
he tried your birthday first. denied.
with a sigh, he scanned your desk. you were forgetful, he was sure you had the password written somewhere. his eyes landed on a cluster of polaroids, mostly of you and your boyfriend. he grabbed one and flipped it over. sure enough, there was a scribbled note in your messy handwriting.
‘happy anniversary, my baby ❤️’ and a date.
jeno scoffed but typed it in anyway. the screen unlocked with a soft chime.
the moment your desktop loaded, he was met with a picture of you sprawled out on a beach towel, skin sun-kissed, in a tiny white bikini that barely covered anything. jeno swallowed.
several seconds passed before he snapped himself out of it, shaking his head and forcing his attention elsewhere.
your laptop was a disaster. it was clogged with files, random downloads, and so many pop-ups it was a miracle the thing still functioned. he clicked around, deleting error files and clearing out junk.
then a notification popped up from a browser window that was open in the background.
he opened the tab out of habit, not expecting anything interesting, but then the page loaded and he had to blink twice to make sure he was seeing right.
it was a blog called ‘horny antidotes.’
"what the hell is this?" he snorted.
he scrolled, thumb hovering before tapping on a section labeled confessions. a list of posts loaded, the oldest ones stretching back to the beginning of last year. against his better judgment, he clicked the most recent entries.
i tried it again tonight. used my fingers since the new toys i got don’t really feel good either. i think my boyfriend’s starting to suspect something. it’s kinda weird that i barely get wet when he touches me (╥_╥) we even try watching porn together, but it does nothing for me. we just scroll through hundreds of videos and i feel nothing, while he gets hard so easily. so i end up sucking him off.
jeno’s brows lifted. jesus.
i get more turned on looking at pictures of LJN. but i can’t touch myself to him… it feels wrong. so i gotta find an alternative. any tips? (>д<)
LJN?
his lips parted. those were initials. your boyfriend’s? no… his.
L. J. N.
lee jeno.
his pulse jumped. before he could think better of it, his fingers typed LJN into the blog’s search bar.
hundreds of posts popped up.
he let out a soft, disbelieving laugh.
no fucking way.
today LJN helped me with my homework. he looked like he hated every second of it. it was hard to focus when he sat so close… his cologne makes me feel so… hot (/ω\).
jeno dragged a hand down his face. he’s not imagining all this? right?
my boyfriend and i broke up again (kinda) (μ_μ). same reason as always… our sex life sucks. he thinks i’m not into him, but that’s not true. he tries… i just… anyway, LJN knocked on my door today. he was only wearing a towel. i almost dropped to my knees right there and then. how does someone get abs like that? god, those arms… veiny and strong… maybe i should call my boyfriend and try again…
a slow smirk stretched across jeno’s lips. so your boyfriend can’t get you off, but i make you wet that easily? he thought.
his gaze drifted to your bed. the sheets were a tangled mess, barely clinging to the mattress. did you write that post after touching yourself last night? thinking about him?
he exhaled through his nose, head shaking like he couldn’t believe it. but god, his stomach clenched at the thought of you squirming with his name in your head.
sure, he knew people found him attractive. girls threw themselves at him all the time. but you? who argued with him over stupid shit, called him an asshole just this morning while throwing a sock at his head?
you wanted him. wanted him so bad you spilled it online for strangers to read.
his gaze flicked back to the screen, to the words where you described his cologne driving you crazy.
he should’ve stopped reading but instead, he clicked on another post.
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the next morning, you woke up to find your laptop working perfectly. no note, no sarcastic comment scribbled on a post-it, nothing. just fixed.
weird.
you headed downstairs, fully expecting jeno to be in his usual morning mood, grumbling about chores, throwing half-hearted jabs just to rile you up. but when you found him on the couch, he was… quiet.
"hey," you said, grabbing a drink from the fridge. "so… thanks for fixing my laptop."
he barely glanced up, his gaze flickering over your bare legs for a heartbeat before settling back on his phone.
"yeah, no problem."
...that’s it?
you waited. no snark about your messy folders? no whining about how you owed him now?
your brows knit. "you okay?"
jeno stretched his legs, shorts riding up just enough to show more of his muscular thighs. "yeah, why wouldn’t i be?"
"i dunno," you said, eyeing him. "you’re acting weird."
he chuckled, head tilting as he shot you a lazy grin. "i’m always like this in the mornings. maybe you just don’t pay enough attention to me."
"trust me," you muttered, taking a sip from your drink, "i pay plenty of attention to you."
jeno’s lips twitched almost into a smirk.
then he hummed.
"yeah, i know."
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the next few days, jeno turned it over in his mind—how to play this.
sure, the whole thing was entertaining, but you were still his stepsister. technically. your parents weren’t married, but they’d been together for about four years, and you’d been living under the same roof since last year.
not that you and jeno were close. you barely crossed paths, always out with friends or holed up in your room when you were home. plus, he found you immature. spoiled. maybe it was the three-year age gap, or maybe it was how quickly you’d settled in and made this place your own. his dad had asked him to be patient with you—“it’s a big change for her”—but if you were struggling, you hid it well.
especially with how you put on that perfect little act for your parents. sweet and responsible. as if you weren’t sneaking your boyfriend in through the window at night. or slipping out when you thought no one noticed. jeno noticed.
he just never cared enough to call you out. but the hypocrisy definitely grated on him. pretending to be miss goody-two-shoes when, by your own confession, you were getting railed by a guy who couldn’t even get you off?
the irony wasn’t lost on him. neither was the opportunity.
he could confront you. he’d definitely enjoy to watch you squirm, see that spark of defiance flicker into panic. tempting.
but maybe… maybe he’d keep this to himself a little longer.
drag it out and see just how much fun he could have before you caught on.
the perfect opportunity presented itself only a few days later when your parents announced their trip to italy for valentine’s day. conveniently their anniversary was also coming up, so they’d be gone for two whole weeks.
“we’ll be back next sunday,” jeno’s dad said, ruffling your hair. “don’t do anything stupid while we’re gone.”
you rolled your eyes, half-smiling, but then his tone shifted as he turned to jeno.
“jeno, take care of her. don’t let her get into any trouble. no parties or anything reckless.”
jeno nodded without a word, eyes flicking toward you before he turned back to your dad with a forced grin. “got it.”
you mom stepped forward, kissing your cheek, her hand lingering on your shoulder a moment longer. “be good, okay? we’re trusting you.” her gaze softened but held an unmistakable warning beneath it.
you knew exactly why. after all, it wasn’t like you had a spotless record. just three months ago, you had come home drunk after sneaking out to a friend’s party. what was supposed to be "just a few drinks" had turned into you singing on top of the table and someone posting it to their story. your parents found out the next morning, thanks to your neighbor, of all people, who’d seen the video. it hadn’t even been that scandalous, except for the fact that you were obviously drunk and under 21 at the time.
the hangover was bad, but the lecture was worse. "you’re lucky jeno was there to drag you home," your mom had said, shooting you a disappointed look. jeno had played the responsible older kid that night, carrying you out before things got worse. but that didn’t stop your parents from being more protective now. especially of you.
still, it annoyed you that all the warnings were directed your way while jeno stood there looking like a saint, when you knew he was anything but. sure, he hadn’t gotten wasted like you, but he was at the same party smoking weed on the back porch, making out with some girl whose name he probably didn’t even know, and encouraging shots like he was the party host. he was just lucky none of that was caught on camera, unlike you.
when the front door closed behind them, a strange silence settled over the house. you watched through the window as they loaded their luggage into the car and drove off. two weeks alone with jeno. what could possibly go wrong?
“guess it’s just us now,” you muttered.
jeno’s lips twitched into a small smile. "looks like it."
his gaze flickered over your body while you were distracted. this will be so much fun, he thought.
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the house felt bigger without your parents around. normally, you’d take full advantage by inviting friends over, staying out late, and enjoying in the freedom. but something about being alone with jeno had you on edge.
not uncomfortable, just… wary.
he’d been acting strange lately. not openly, but enough that you noticed. it was in the way he looked at you now, like he knew something you didn’t.
you were scrolling through your phone in the kitchen that night when he strolled in.
"big plans while they’re gone?" he asked, pulling open the fridge.
"nothing crazy," you said, thumb still flicking at your screen. "just enjoying the peace and quiet."
he let out a low hum, the kind that sounded like he was holding back a laugh. "right. because you’re such a quiet, well-behaved girl."
your scrolling stopped. your gaze snapped up to him. "where’s that coming from?"
jeno didn’t answer immediately. instead, he stepped closer reaching past you for a glass in the cabinet overhead. the movement brought him close enough that his cologne hit you warm, musky, annoyingly good.
"you know," he murmured, voice just above a whisper, "you might fool them. but not me."
your heart skipped. "i have no idea what you’re talking about."
he dipped his head slightly, eyes flickering to your cleavage.
"sure you don’t."
then he was gone, leaving you in the kitchen with your pulse pounding and a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.
the weekend arrived quicker than expected, and despite jeno’s weirdness lately, nothing out of the ordinary happened.
until saturday.
jeno was sprawled on the couch, mindlessly tapping his fingers against his knee. his gaze drifted up just as you wandered into the living room, barefoot and still in your sleepwear—a thin tank top and shorts that barely covered your ass. you didn’t even glance his way, too focused on your phone as you padded toward the kitchen.
it was almost funny, how careless you were around him. clueless, really.
jeno bit back a smirk.
"you’re up early," he said, breaking the quiet.
you glanced over your shoulder while pouring cereal into a bowl. "uh… yeah?"
he shrugged. "figured you’d be catching up on sleep after sneaking out last night."
your hand faltered for half a second. it was subtle but enough for him to notice.
his grin widened as he leaned back against the couch cushions, arms draping lazily over the backrest. "right."
you set the cereal down with a little more force than necessary and turned to face him, arms crossed. "okay, what’s going on with you?”
"me?" he feigned innocence, eyebrows raising. "nothing, just making conversation."
your eyes narrowed, studying him. when he offered nothing else, you scoffed and turned back to the counter, muttering under your breath.
he’d never cared before. never commented on where you went or what you did. why was he suddenly so interested in you?
jeno used to treat you like background noise, a mild inconvenience at worst. now his gaze lingered longer whenever you walked into the room, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make your skin prickle in ways you didn’t want to think about.
later that evening, you curled up on the couch with your laptop, half-heartedly scrolling through an assignment you had no intention of finishing. jeno sat across from you, phone in hand, occasionally flicking through something with the tv playing low in the background. it was peaceful enough… until he spoke.
"you know…" he stretched, shirt riding up just enough to expose the waistband of his boxers. "your boyfriend kinda sucks."
your fingers froze mid-typing.
"what?" you asked, tone clipped. you didn’t look up, but your jaw tightened on instinct.
he hummed, "if i were sneaking out every night, i’d hope it was worth it."
you shut the laptop with a snap. "why do you even care?"
jeno grinned, clearly satisfied that he’d gotten under your skin. "i don’t."
you stood abruptly, blood buzzing with irritation. "whatever. i’m going to bed."
he chuckled under his breath as you turned to leave, but the sound grated on you. it echoed in your head as you stalked halfway down the hall before…no. screw that.
you spun on your heel, storming back into the living room. "you don’t know shit," you bit out.
jeno glanced up, unconcerned. "about what?"
"me. my boyfriend."
that finally got his full attention. he set his phone down and tilted his head, eyes gleaming. "oh, you mean the boyfriend who keeps getting dumped and crawling back like a stray?"
your nostrils flared. "fuck you."
"i’m just saying—"
"no, you’re not ‘just saying’ anything," you cut him off, stepping closer. "you think you know everything about me just because we share a roof?"
"you’d be surprised," he shot back, annoyingly calm.
your fists clenched. "you don’t know what i need. so stop acting like you do."
for a split second, something flickered in his expression, gone too fast to name. then his usual smirk slid back into place.
"i don’t need to know what you need." he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "i already know what you want."
your breath hitched. you hated that, hated the way your pulse jumped at his words, at the confidence in his voice. what the hell did that even mean?
"you’re an asshole," you snapped. "i don’t owe you an explanation."
jeno nodded, like he agreed. "then why are you still standing here?"
your face burned with frustration, but you bit your tongue. there was nothing you could say that wouldn’t make this worse. so you did the next best thing, you turned on your heel and walked away, slamming your bedroom door behind you.
and yet, lying in bed later, the back of your mind replayed his words on a loop. you still felt like you’d lost.
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hours passed and you were still pissed.
your whole body ached with it, hot and restless, like something crawling under your skin. jeno’s words sunk in deep, wrapping around you like barbed wire, too sharp, too true.
‘your boyfriend kinda sucks’ his voice rang in your ears.
no, your boyfriend was nearly perfect. he had all the right looks, the right voice, the right everything and yet… somehow, even after months of trying, of letting him touch you, of trying to want it—
you never got turned on with him. not the way you were now after a simple argument with jeno.
your hand moved before you could think, fingers slipping under the waistband of your shorts, finding that sticky warmth between your thighs. a shaky breath left you, head tipping back against the pillows. it wasn’t enough. god, it wasn’t nearly enough. you needed—fuck, you didn’t even know what you needed. just more. something to fill the ache, to drown out the way his voice echoed in your head. i don’t need to know what you need. i already know what you want.
stop.
you squeezed your eyes shut, forcing yourself to picture your boyfriend, to think about the way he kissed you, the way he whispered your name, the way he touched you.
but your body rejected it. the images blurred, twisted, morphed.
and suddenly it wasn’t his hands you were thinking about.
It was jeno’s slender fingers.
your fingertips grazed that sensitive spot, slick and throbbing, pulling a broken sound from your lips. your hips rolled up into your hand, chasing any semblance of relief. you let out a quiet, shuddering breath as your stomach clenched, your pulse kicking up as you fought it, fought him, fought the way his image took over.
but it was useless.
your body didn’t listen. it latched onto the memory of him. the way his pretty lips curled right before he was about to say something you knew would piss you off, the way his voice dipped when he was toying with you, the way his hands always fidgeted, tapping against his thigh, against his lips, always doing something.
your lips parted as your fingers moved faster, your other hand slid up your stomach, pushing up your shirt as your breath stuttered.
would he keep his rings on while touching you?
the thought sent a sharp pulse of arousal through you, your body tightening, the wetness between your thighs growing slicker.
you imagined his long fingers and the coolness of the rings against your skin. would he drag them over your stomach, trace your thighs, tease you with them first? or would he shove them inside right away?
you bit your lip, your fingers pressing down harder, teasing yourself the way he would, the way he might if he ever—
a moan slipped from your lips before you could stop it. “jeno…”
outside your door, jeno’s world fucking stopped. his body was tight, his breath stuck in his throat as he pressed himself against the wood.
he shouldn’t be here. he shouldn’t be standing outside your room, shouldn’t be looking through the small crack where the door hadn’t shut all the way.
but fuck.
fuck, you were so loud. did you even realize?
did you know how needy you sounded? the way your voice cracked, the way your breathing hitched, the way you whimpered when you…
jeno exhaled sharply, gripping the doorframe, trying to keep himself in check. but his mind was already too far gone. because if you were touching yourself to him, and if you were so desperate you couldn’t even keep quiet or make sure the the door was closed all the way… then maybe you wanted to get caught.
maybe you wanted him to see.
his breath came out slow and measured as he peeked through the crack, his body heating at the sight before him. the dim glow of your bedside lamp cast soft shadows over your skin, your legs spread wide, fingers buried deep inside yourself. the slick sounds of your movements, the rise and fall of your chest, the way your lips parted as you moaned his name. fuck, it was too much.
he felt himself throbbing painfully against his sweats, already aching from just watching you. his cock was so fucking hard it hurt.
he pulled himself out, his fingers wrapping around the thick length, hot and pulsing in his palm. he let out a sharp breath as he started stroking himself, matching his pace to the rhythm of your fingers slipping in and out of your pretty cunt.
he wanted to be the one touching you.
he imagined it, his fingers stretching you open, pumping in and out, his thumb circling your clit until you were shaking, whimpering against his mouth. would you let him fuck you raw the first time? god, you’d feel so good around him, so tight, clenching down on him like you never wanted him to pull out. he let out a quiet groan, biting his lip to keep himself from making any noise, even though part of him wanted you to hear him, wanted you to know exactly what you were doing to him.
your moans were getting louder, your breaths coming faster, more frantic. you were close, he could tell, your body was begging for release, and he wished, more than anything, that he could be the one to push you over the edge.
he knew that no one else could make you feel like this. not even your boyfriend, the one you pretended was enough for you. that idiot had the privilege of touching you, of being inside you, and still you weren’t getting off on thoughts of him. no, it was jeno’s name spilling from your lips as you fucked yourself.
his hand tightened around his cock, his strokes quickening. "cum for me, baby," he whispered under his breath, his forehead pressing harder against the doorframe.
maybe you heard him, maybe you didn’t, but your moans pitched higher, your fingers moving faster, your body trembling on the other side of the door. fuck—you were close, so fucking close, and he was right there with you. his jaw went slack, his breaths coming in ragged pants as the pleasure slammed into him, hot and heavy. his cock pulsed, his body shaking, cum spilling over his fingers in thick streaks as he saw you falling apart in your bed at the same time.
his body tensed, every nerve sparking as he milked himself through the high, swallowing back the urge to moan out your name. he barely had the presence of mind to tuck himself back into his sweats before he started dripping onto the carpet. that would’ve been a dead giveaway. but even as he came down from it, the heat in his chest didn’t fade. because now he knew just how badly you wanted him.
and he wasn’t going to just let it go.
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so, he was back outside your room the following night.
your door was closed all the way this time. he swallowed hard, his pulse hammering as he curled his fingers around the doorknob, testing it. it turned just a fraction before stopping. it was locked. he expected this. he had the feeling you suspected he’d seen you or at least heard you last night because you were unusually fidgety around him earlier today.
he exhaled slowly, lowering himself down until his face was level with the keyhole, his breath shallow as he listened. the obscene sounds of your fingers working between your thighs were unmistakable, each wet stroke sending another pulse of heat straight to his cock. he knew you were thinking about him again. your boyfriend wasn’t here, who the fuck else would you be touching yourself to?
he let his hand trail down, palming himself over his sweats, but this time, it wasn’t enough. he needed more.
his fingers drifted down to his pocket, curling around the small, thin tool he’d stolen from mark’s junk drawer earlier. jeno wasn’t an idiot, he knew to be prepared this time. hearing wouldn’t do it for him, he needed to see you again.
he slid the tool into the keyhole, his other hand steadying the knob as he worked it. it wasn’t his first time picking a lock. he’d done it plenty of times as a teen, sneaking into forbidden rooms at school, usually to make out with random girls. but this was different. he was breaking into his stepsister’s room so he could watch her touch herself. his hands itched, his whole body thrumming with a dangerous kind of thrill.
the lock gave a quiet click and he held his breath trying to listen for any indication that you noticed. after he thought it was safe, he twisted the handle and pushed the door just enough to crack it open.
and fuck, what a sight it was.
you were sprawled on your bed, your legs were in a butterfly position this time, your skin glistening with sweat. your shirt was hiked up all the way giving him the perfect sight of your tits. your panties were pushed down completely and he could see the way your fingers disappeared inside you. his name started slipping from your lips again, breathy, ruined. he clenched his jaw, his cock started to throb painfully at the sight.
you were so fucking beautiful like this. needy, desperate, chasing a high that only he could truly give you.
he licked his lips, watching the way your back arched, your fingers curling inside you as you edged yourself closer. his own hand slipped into his sweats, wrapping around his length, stroking slow, lazy, savoring the moment. he should leave. should close the door and pretend this never happened. but instead, he kept watching, his lips parting in a silent exhale as he imagined once again what it would be like to replace your fingers with his own.
or better yet, his cock.
you had no idea he was here. no idea you were putting on a show just for him.
there was no way in hell he was going to stop now.
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you’d been locking your door more often now. you weren’t sure why. it didn’t make sense, but the feeling just wouldn’t go away. the feeling that you were being watched.
maybe it was the fact that you thought you heard a moan outside your door the other night. or maybe the fact that your panties had mysteriously gone missing from the laundry basket. and there was only one other person living with you at the moment. you tried to tell yourself it was paranoia. after all, why would jeno do something like that? he didn’t have fantasies like you, right?
still, something felt different when he was around. especially when you bumped into him in the kitchen or living room. the tension was so thick as if the space between you was charged, waiting for something, or someone, to cross the line.
you tried to distract yourself, flicking through jersey shore reruns with half your mind still on him. but as soon as you heard footsteps approaching, your pulse spiked. your body clearly not knowing the difference between riding a roller coaster, and your stepbrother entering the room.
you glanced up, trying to force a bored expression. the moment your eyes landed on him, however, everything in you froze. his damp hair stuck to his forehead, a towel draped loosely around his neck. his sweatpants hung low on his hips, his boxers peeking, and the way his white shirt clung to his chest made it feel like the room was closing in around you.
you swallowed hard.
he caught your gaze, and for a split second, it felt like he saw right through you. like he knew what you were thinking, what you were feeling. but he didn’t say anything. he just walked over, sitting close enough that his leg brushed against yours. the space between you was so small, but it felt like a chasm, a void that you couldn’t bridge. you couldn’t move. not when your body was so painfully aware of him.
“you like this trash?” his voice was casual, but his eyes were anything but. they were on you, studying you.
you blinked, the question throwing you off guard. you hadn’t even realized he was talking about the show until he nodded toward it. “uh... yeah. it’s... entertaining,” you stammered, your voice sounding foreign in your own ears. you wanted to say more, to defend it, but the words wouldn’t come. your mind was fixated on him.
you tried to focus on the screen, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. his towel slipping from his shoulders, water droplets sliding down his neck and disappearing beneath the collar of his shirt. you could feel that familiar flutter in your lower stomach.
your fingers twitched, desperate to do something, anything, to alleviate the tightness.
jeno tilted his head slightly, his lips pulling into that almost imperceptible smirk, the one that made you want to either scream or crawl into him.
“what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice soft, but there was something dangerous underneath. “you look tense.”
you didn’t answer immediately. instead, you shifted uncomfortably, your pulse hammering in your ears. he didn’t push, but the way he was looking at you made you feel exposed, like he had you cornered.
suddenly, the doorbell rang, and you shot up from the couch like you’d been electrocuted. your pulse was still racing, your thoughts tangled in knots you didn’t want to acknowledge. this was good. maybe whoever was at the door would shake you out of this haze.
but the second you opened it, you almost wished you hadn’t.
your boyfriend…or ex? you didn’t even know anymore, stood there holding a single rose in one hand and a bag of snacks in the other.
“happy valentine’s day,” he greeted, flashing that charming smile he knew melted you.
your eyes widened. you’d been so distracted you totally forgot the date. damn you, lee jeno.
“i’m sorry i didn’t call in advance,” he pushed the rose into your hand and leaned to kiss you “and i know we agreed to take a break… still, i couldn't just not come today…”
he lifted the bag on his other hand. “movie?”
you forced a smile, your stomach twisting guiltily for a second. even though your relationship was a bit unstable as of late, valentine’s wasn’t something you ever wanted to half-ass so it was a good thing you’d planned ahead.
you bought his gift the previous week, carefully wrapping the box yourself because you wanted it to feel special. a pair of shoes he’d been eyeing for months, a new band for his apple watch since his favorite one had broken recently, and a handwritten letter tucked inside, detailing how much you appreciated him, how much you loved him. You even spent extra time decorating the envelope, adding little doodles and stickers just to make him smile.
you should've felt some kind of relief, his presence should distract you from the wild thoughts swirling in your head. but as you stepped aside to let him in, that sense of relief never came.
because the moment you turned back, you remembered jeno was still there on the couch. you silently willed him with your mind to go to his room, maybe leave altogether.
but of course he didn’t.
“oh. hey, dude” your boyfriend said as he finally noticed him. “didn’t know your brother was here.”
you winced. that word. brother. your tongue itched to correct him, but what was the point? he knew you weren’t really siblings. he just chose to say it anyway.
jeno let the word hang in the air before he finally stood up, stretching his arms over his head before settling into a straighter posture. he never stood that straight, but he was making sure to show that he was at least two inches taller than your boyfriend. It was a subtle move, but you saw it for what it was. a challenge.
you almost scoffed at the sheer pettiness of it.
“ah, hello…” jeno drawled. “sorry, remind me of your name again?”
your boyfriend told him, his tone polite but slightly stiff.
“right,” jeno said, half-smiling. “didn’t know we’d be having visitors today…”
your boyfriend cleared his throat. “ah, that’s my bad. i didn’t tell her I was coming since I wanted to surprise her for Valentine’s”
“hm,” Jeno hummed. “well... as long as you two keep it in the living room, should be fine. gotta look out for my little sister while the parents are out, you know?”
you squeezed your eyes shut for half a second, inhaling slowly, forcing yourself to stay calm. he never called you that. also, who did he think he was playing house police all of a sudden?
“sit down, babe,” you said, your tone so sweet it sounded forced.
jeno scoffed under his breath, soft enough that only you heard it.
you ignored it, settling onto the couch as he disappeared into the kitchen. your boyfriend sat beside you, oblivious, scrolling through movies, while you shoved a chip into your mouth just to distract your mind.
suddenly, you heard clattering from the kitchen followed by a curse.
“uh, y/n… can you come help me real quick?”
you squeezed your eyes shut.
“what did you break now?” you called, already exasperated.
"your mom’s china," he called back. "think i broke like two plates. maybe three. hard to say. pretty sure she’ll notice, though."
shit. you were on your feet before you could think, muttering a quick, “sorry, i’ll be right back,” as you hurried toward the kitchen.
the moment you stepped inside, irritation flared hotter in your chest.
“are you kidding me? what were you even doing near those? my mom explicitly said—” you voiced trailed off when you saw there was no broken china. no mess. nothing.
just jeno, standing there with his arms crossed, watching you with a smirk so infuriating you wanted to slap it off his face.
your hands curled into fists. “what are you doing?”
“really?” he ignored your glare, tilting his head mockingly. “he brought snacks and a single rose?” he let out a dry chuckle. “it’s valentine’s day for god’s sake, he could’ve at least tried.”
“i like simple things,” you shot back. “i don’t need a big fucking production”
jeno took a step closer making your breath get stuck in your throat. he wasn’t touching you, wasn’t even crowding you, but fuck he might as well have been, with the way your body tensed.
his voice dropped lower. “are you trying to convince me or yourself?”
he clearly wanted to get a reaction out of you and you refused to give it to him.
his gaze flicked down to your lips, pursed at him, and yet so pretty. he could still remember them parting and gasping his name last night.
"bet it gets tiring to pretend so much” he leaned in slightly.
you took a sharp step back.
“just… get out of my business,” you snapped, breath uneven.
jeno’s lips curled. “sure thing.” his eyes glinted with dark amusement. “hope you have fun with mr. buzzkill.”
your jaw clenched as you spun on your heel, storming back to the living room. who the hell did he think he was? since when did he have an opinion on your love life? he’d never cared before, never questioned, never even acknowledged it. so why now?
he kept pushing, prodding, playing with you.
and the worst part was that you were letting him. you knew you should ignore him. his opinion didn’t matter anyways.
so why couldn’t you stop paying attention to him?
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you decided to push jeno out of your mind, and what better way than by surrounding yourself with people you actually liked?
a pool party seemed like the perfect distraction. it was nothing too crazy, just a few close friends from college. the weather had been unusually nice all week, the kind of warmth that made everything feel a little hazy, the sun kissing your skin as you lay stretched out on a lounge chair, still damp from your swim. it was the perfect excuse to bask in the sun, let the tension ease from your body, and pretend jeno didn’t exist.
jenny, lying beside you on her stomach, propped herself up on her elbows and let out an exaggerated sigh. “by the way, where’s your hot brother?”
you sighed, not even bothering to open your eyes. “stop calling him that. people might actually think i'm related to that jerk.”
“honestly, though,” natty chimed in, rubbing tanning oil on her arms. “how have you not jumped his bones yet? he’s so fine.”
you scoffed, finally cracking an eye open to glare at her. “he’s really not all that. if you guys lived with him, you wouldn’t think like this.”
jenny turned onto her side, her smirk downright sinful. “girl, if i lived with him i'd let him do unspeakable things to me every night.”
you fingers tightened around your drink as something hot and unwanted curled low in your stomach. if only they knew the things you did thinking about him late at night.
belle made a face from where she sat at the edge of the pool. “you guys are gross.”
jenny just shrugged, a sly smile tugging at her lips. “why? they’re not even related.”
belle wrinkled her nose. “yes, but they live together. it’s still weird.”
jenny hummed, resting her chin on her shoulder as she eyed you knowingly. “whatever, i meant what i said.”
“does he have a girlfriend?” natty asked, stretching her legs out as she adjusted her sunglasses.
you shrugged, taking another sip of your piña colada. “i don’t know. i mean, he barely leaves the house. i doubt he has much of a social life… probably the most socially inept guy i’ve ever met.” the words left your mouth lazily, but the moment they did, a shadow loomed over you, blocking out the sun.
you didn’t need to look up to know who it was.
you tilted your head back after a few seconds of silently cursing your big mouth. your heart did a million backflips as you locked eyes with jeno, who was now standing directly behind your chair. his head was tilted just slightly, a slow smirk playing at his lips.
you gulped slowly, and wished the chair would just swallow you whole. did he hear what you just said?
his gaze flickered over you, amused, but there was something heavier in the way his eyes traced over your bikini-clad figure. and then you realized he wasn’t in his usual hoodie and sweatpants. instead, he wore a fitted jean jacket over a graphic tee from a band you didn’t recognize, paired with tight black jeans. even his hair was styled, it looked like he got a fresh undercut, even added some designs on the side. he felt like an entirely different person. he looked good. too good.
“hello, ladies,” he greeted smoothly, his voice deep.
your friends giggled, but you barely registered them because jeno’s attention was back on you in a second.
“does dad know you’re having a party?” he asked, his voice had a teasing lilt to it, but there was something slightly patronizing underneath.
you rolled your eyes. “it’s just a few people.” get off my ass, you almost added but bit your tongue.
his smirk didn’t falter. “mhm… hope so, ‘cause he can see everything through those.” he pointed toward the security cameras, and something about the way he said it made irritation prickle at your skin.
he had the audacity to call your boyfriend a buzzkill, yet here he was, trying to kill any potential fun you could have.
“anyway,” he continued, “this socially inept guy is heading out.”
you breath caught in your throat. so he did hear you.
his eyes flickered over your body once more, and before you could respond, his hand brushed over your shoulder in a touch so fleeting, so meaningless, it shouldn’t have made your entire body lock up the way it did.
“call me if there’s an emergency,” he said. “be good, yeah?”
the second he was out of earshot, the giggles started back up, hushed and scandalized. your skin still burned where his touch had ghosted over you, and you hated that you wanted to turn your head, watch him leave, memorize the way he looked just now.
you swallowed hard, pressing your cold glass against your lips and forcing yourself to pretend that none of it affected you.
after several minutes of listening to your friends gush about jeno, how good he looked, how he smelled like expensive cologne, blah blah blah, you decided you’d had enough. you pushed yourself up from the lounge chair and made your way inside with the excuse of refilling your drink.
as you passed through the living room, a flicker of movement outside caught your eye. jeno was still there, standing near the edge of the sidewalk. his fingers dipped into his pocket, retrieving something small, and curiosity got the better of you. you squinted, trying to make out what he was holding.
despite knowing better, you grabbed a lightweight cover-up dress from the hook by the door and slipped it over your shoulders before stepping outside. the afternoon air carried the scent of chlorine and the faintest trace of citrus from the trees lining the house.
“since when do you smoke?” you asked, approaching him cautiously.
jeno turned his head slightly. the corner of his lips curled in that maddening way of his. without breaking eye contact, he placed the cigarette between his lips, the unlit end resting against the soft curve of his mouth.
“i don’t,” he said dismissively but then, he struck a match against his finger and the tiny flame came to life. the sight of it held your attention for just a second too long. probably because you’d never seen anyone light a match like that, or the fact that he was gaslighting you so casually.
“i thought you said you were going to hang out with friends,” you pressed, crossing your arms as you watched the flame kiss the tip of the cigarette.
“i said i was going to hang out,” he corrected, taking a slow drag before exhaling it in your direction, the smoke curling between you. “i didn't say with friends.”
you barely resisted the urge to cough, your throat tightening at the thick scent of tobacco. before you could call him out on this, the low rumble of an engine broke through the silence.
a black jeep screeched to a stop at the foot of your driveway, tires skidding slightly against the pavement. you instinctively took a step back as the vehicle came to a jarring halt. the tinted window rolled down, revealing a girl with jet-black hair that framed her face in glossy waves. he lips, painted a deep cherry red, curved into a smile that was just a little too perfect.
“sorry, i’m late!” she said, her voice airy, with a sing-song quality that immediately set your teeth on edge “there was so much traffic.”
“sure you didn’t just get pulled over for reckless driving?” jeno chuckled before taking another slow drag from his cigarette.
“mo, silly!” she giggled, her voice turning annoyingly flirtatious as she leaned a little closer over the window. “did you doll up just for me?”
“sure,” jeno replied casually. you didn’t catch the way his eyes flicked to you for just a split second because you were busy trying to mask the seething annoyance that was threatening to show in your expression. you didn’t even know this girl, and yet, the way she was acting was irritating you deeply.
“let me drive,” jeno said, pulling the door open for her to step out. you noticed the way she purposely wobbled slightly to fall directly into his arms.
“careful,” he said, his voice deep and resonant as he steadied her, the sound of it sending a heavy vibration through your chest.
“if your wet blanket of a boyfriend shows up later,” he continued once inside the car, his words laced with a hint of condescension, “just try not to fuck around in the pool, okay? remember, someone’s always watching.” the way he said that left a strange, uneasy knot in your stomach, the implication of his words lingering far too long.
before you could even muster a response, he slammed the jeep into gear and drove off.
it was around 9 pm when you decided to call it a night. your boyfriend hadn’t even shown up. he claimed he had to help his dad with “stuff” but you hadn’t really paid attention to the details. you weren’t interested in hearing excuses anyway.
your friends pouted, complaining that you should let them stay and have a sleepover, but you weren’t in the mood. they only left after you promised to do it another time.
you wandered upstairs, feeling the fatigue from the evening settle in your bones. the water from the shower was almost too hot, but you welcomed the burn as it stripped the chlorine from your skin. you lingered under the steam, savoring the quiet of the house.
once you were done, you meticulously moisturized your skin with extra attention to the dryness that clung to your arms after the pool and the heat of the shower. you threw on your usual pjs, a loose tank top and shorts. you thought of the way jeno’s dark eyes followed you whenever you wore them.
you made your way to the living room and sank onto the couch to watch tv, hyper aware of the ticking sound of the clock. the hands crept closer to 11 p.m. and you found your thoughts drifting despite your best attempts to focus. jeno’s face floated into your mind, his dark eyes flickering with amusement whenever he saw you. you tried to push it away but your mind kept returning to him and that girl with jet-black hair.
the sting of your nails digging into the palsn of your hands is what snapped you out of it. the thought of him with her… doing what? it didn’t even matter. why should it matter?
you decided to go to bed after realizing it was stupid to wait for him to come back.
it was around 2 am when you were jerked awake by the sound of shuffling outside your door. you heard a giggle followed by a hushed voice right before your door creaked open, and you quickly squeezed your eyes shut again.
"shit, wrong room," you heard jeno whisper, and your breath caught in your throat. you opened one eye just enough to see him standing in the doorway, the girl with jet-black hair practically draped around his neck.
she pulled him down into a kiss, and you watched, frozen, as they made out right there in front of your door. her soft moans echoed through the space along with the sounds of their hands fondling each other’s bodies.
they continued, oblivious to the fact that you were very much awake, until jeno finally pulled the door closed behind him, muffling the noises just enough for you to breathe again.
the anger hit you immediately, and the indignation that followed was almost comical in its intensity. with what face had he told you not to "mess around" at home because your parents were always watching, only to go and do this? right in front of your room, no less?
you heard the shuffle of movement in his room next door, and a chilling realization sank in.
they were about to have sex, and you’d hear every damn second of it.
it wasn’t like you’d never snuck your boyfriend in late at night before. But all you ever did was suck him off or let him finger you. you never actually had proper sex. not for lack of trying, but rather the issues you’d been having getting… aroused with him.
the moans started, soft at first, then louder. each sound felt like a needle, digging deeper into the pit of your stomach. you squeezed your eyes shut again, wishing, begging to be anywhere but within earshot of the noise that now felt like it was tearing your insides apart.
you could hear everything. the soft thuds of their clothes hitting the floor, the creak of the mattress as they fell onto it. jeno’s rough groans, the breathless whimpers he tried and failed to suppress. the wet, obscene sounds of him moving inside her. the desperate gasps, the frantic whisper of his name from her lips. their mouths meeting over and over again, the muffled, needy sounds of them colliding filling the space.
every movement, every noise, was painfully clear, as if you were right there in the room with them.
you wanted to disappear. crawl under your bed. evaporate into the walls. oh, the walls. the godforsaken, paper-thin walls that some sadistic architect clearly designed just to ruin your life.
you pressed a pillow over your head, begging for the sounds to stop, but it was useless. they only grew louder.
“jeno… i’m close,” she whimpered, voice high and shaking.
“cum for me…” he responded, breathless.
and suddenly, amidst the debauchery of sounds, you heard it.
your name.
spoken in a broken moan.
your breath stilled. for a second, you thought you must have imagined it, that your mind was playing a cruel trick on you. but then—
you heard it again. louder. needier.
jeno was calling your name as he came.
a paralyzing shock shot through you, pinning you to the mattress. your pulse hammering so hard you thought your heart might bruise your chest cavity. you stared at the ceiling, unblinking, as his moans settled over you like a suffocating weight.
silence followed, broken only by their uneven breaths. then you heard the rustle of sheets as they untangled from each other.
“can i stay the night?” the girl asked, her voice still heavy with satisfaction.
“no,” jeno said, voice oddly cold and detached. “my parents are gonna be here in the morning.”
that was a lie. your parents weren’t coming back until the following weekend.
you were still too shocked to move, too shaken to process what had just happened. but as you listened to her gather her things, to the sound of jeno walking her to the door without so much as an ounce of warmth in his tone, one thing became terrifyingly clear...
he hadn’t just used her. he’d been thinking about you while doing so.
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you didn’t sleep. not for a single minute.
the shadows in your room shifted as the hours crawled by. it felt impossible to close your eyes without hearing it all over again. your name on his lips.
when your phone screen finally read 6:00 a.m, you gave up on sleep entirely, throwing off the sheets and slipping out of bed like a ghost.
you tiptoed down the stairs and into the kitchen, fingers numb as you grabbed a glass and filled it to the brim. the cold water slid down your throat in greedy gulps, but it did nothing to cool yourself.
then, a breathless laugh tore from your lips, unhinged and bitter. the sheer absurdity of it all crashed into you at once, like a sick joke the universe decided to play on you. jeno had been inside another girl, and yet, it was your name that spilled out of his lips.
the laughter bubbled up harder. it must have been loud enough to wake him, because a few moments later, footsteps padded into the kitchen.
jeno stood in the doorway, eyes heavy with sleep, brows pinched together as he took in the sight of you, your back was turned to him, shoulders trembling with laughter that didn’t seem to belong to you.
“the hell is wrong with you?” his voice was groggy.
you stopped, forcing the manic grin off your face before turning slightly away, shielding yourself from his scrutiny. god, if he saw the way you were smiling right now, he really would think you lost your mind.
“are you high?” he asked, a little more forcefully this time.
you let out a dry chuckle, shaking your head. i wish. maybe if you were high, this wouldn’t feel so real. maybe you wouldn’t still hear his voice in your head from the night before, broken and desperate, calling for you.
a shiver ran down your spine when you felt jeno move closer behind you. you could feel the heat radiating off his bare chest, the faint smell of sleep and last night’s scent clinging to him. his hand clamped down on your shoulder, turning you around with an impatient tug.
“no, seriously.” his voice was lower now, forcing you to meet his gaze. “did you do drugs last night?”
your breath hitched when his chest brushed against yours, and that’s when you remembered you weren’t wearing a bra. the thin fabric of your tank top did nothing to hide the way your nipples hardened at the contact.
you saw the flicker in his expression, the brief second of realization when his gaze dropped.
“what do you care?” you shot back instead, tilting your chin up defiantly.
you liked the way his jaw ticked when you pushed him.
his grip on your chin was sudden, firm, tilting your face until your eyes locked with his. his fingers were rough and the touch sent something dark and electric crackling under your skin.
you ripped yourself from his grasp, grimacing. “don’t touch me. i know where that hand has been.”
jeno laughed, a rich sound that made your throat close.
“oh, so you heard.”
you scoffed. “of course i heard. it was impossible not to when you were being so loud.”
his smirk deepened. “then you know my struggle.”
he stepped forward, pressed you further against the counter until there was barely any air between your bodies. this was the closest you had ever been to him.
your heart slammed against your ribs, but you refused to shrink away. if anything, it only made you glare harder, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing you falter.
“i hear everything you do in your room too.”
he paused, letting his finger curl around a stray hair falling over your face.
“every night.”
your lips parted, but nothing came out except a sharp inhale.
his eyes fluttered across your features, lingering on your lips, still wet from the water you just drank.
“wh-what…”
“yeah.” his grin grew sharper, his perfect teeth peeking out to tug at his lower lip. “every time you sneak your dumbass boyfriend in.”
his fingers brushed against the counter beside you, caging you in completely.
“every time you touch yourself…”
you swallowed, looking between his neck and shoulder, unable to meet his dark eyes.
“and you do that a lot lately.”
you gulped to soothe your dry throat, wishing he couldn’t somehow smell how aroused you were getting. you hated the way your body reacted to him, how your thighs pressed together on instinct. he noticed. the bastard always noticed everything.
he was still pressed so close you could feel the steady rise and fall of his hard chest against yours, the heat of his skin bleeding into yours like fire licking at gasoline.
“i—” you started, but your voice cracked.
jeno tilted his head, “what?” his voice was a murmur meant for just the two of you. his lips curved, but the smile wasn’t kind, it was wicked. “got nothing to say now?”
you clenched your jaw, forcing yourself to hold his gaze even as your stomach twisted into knots. “fuck you.”
his smile widened. “i mean, that’s what you always think about, isn’t it?” he murmured.
your breath caught in your throat. he leaned in, his lips so close to your ear that you felt the ghost of them graze your skin.
“you touch yourself thinking about me.”
a wave of heat crawled up your neck. you shouldn’t be reacting this way. shouldn’t be giving yourself away this easily.
you inhaled sharply, gathering every ounce of strength left in your body before shoving at his chest, pushing him away. he let you, barely stumbling back.
“go to hell, jeno.”
you turned on your heel, ready to storm out, to get as far away from him as possible—
but you barely made it two steps before his hand shot out, grabbing your wrist. he yanked you back against him, spinning you around so fast that you barely had time to register the shift before your back was against the counter again, his body crowding yours.
his grip tightened, but not enough to hurt just enough to hold you there.
"what are you doing?" you demanded, pressing a hand to his chest. "i have a boyfriend."
he laughed bitterly "oh, please. we both know he doesn’t even make you wet."
“how do you—?” you swallowed, barely able to get the words out.
the realization suddenly settled like lead in your gut. he read it. your blog. the one you used to vent frustrations you couldn’t say out loud, the one that held every unspoken insecurity, every late-night confession you never meant for anyone to see. every filthy thought about him.
and jeno of all people had gotten his hands on it. that’s why he’d been acting so strange lately.
your fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, not pulling him closer, but gripping like you needed something to hold onto before you lost your mind.
his smirk deepened as he saw the expression of horror in your face.
“you should really clear your browser history,” he mused, tilting his head slightly. “or, better yet…maybe don’t keep the tabs open on a laptop you asked me to fix.”
the bastard wasn’t even sorry for invading your privacy.
your pulse roared in your ears as you tried to school your expression, trying to make it seem like you weren't two seconds away from spiraling.
“i don’t—” you started, but the words wouldn’t come.
he leaned in, voice dipping lower. “oh don’t quit on me now. you had plenty to say in that little blog of yours.”
his fingers traced your jaw softly.
“especially about me.”
he grinned, teeth grazing his bottom lip as he watched your reaction unfold in real time. “what was it you said?” he pretended to think. “oh, right. he pisses me off more than anyone else, but i bet he fucks like a god.’”
you shoved him again but he barely stumbled, just let out a low chuckle like he was thrilled by your anger.
“what’s wrong?” he taunted. “embarrassed?”
“shut up.”
“aww, c’mon, don’t be shy now. i read the whole thing, you’ve definitely thought about this exact moment before.”
you wanted to die. right there on the kitchen floor. just disintegrate and never have to endure the smug, self-satisfied look on his face ever again.
but worse than the embarrassment? worse than the rage twisting inside you like a coil ready to snap?
was the terrifying, undeniable truth.
he knew you wanted him.
jeno moved closer, and you instinctively backed into the counter, your hands gripping the cool edge.
his smirk was insufferable. giddy, almost.
“god, you should see your face right now,” he murmured, tilting his head. “all pink and flustered. just like i imagined.”
your eyes darted across his face in shock.
“oh yeah,” he continued, watching the realization flicker in your eyes. “you’re not the only one who’s fantasized about this, baby”
“i don’t fantasize,” you said quickly, hoping to salvage some dignity.
jeno just laughed. “save it.”
he reached up, tucking another stray strand of hair behind your ear, the way someone might handle something delicate, except the glint in his eye was anything but soft.
“i said i read everything,” he reminded you, voice dripping with satisfaction. “i even memorized that one post, the one where you talk about my fingers—”
“don’t,” you interrupted, slapping a hand over his mouth before he could finish that sentence.
bad move. because now his lips were pressed against your palm, his breath hot against your skin. and he didn’t pull away.
instead, his dark eyes locked onto yours making your pulse stutter. he reached up, prying your hand away from his mouth, but instead of letting it go, he brought it lower flat against his bare chest, over the steady thump of his heartbeat.
“i like knowing your secrets,” he murmured. “i like knowing what gets in that pretty little head of yours late at night.”
your stomach flipped.
“and you know what i like the most?” he dipped his head, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. “i like knowing that no matter how much you fight me on this,” he whispered, “you’ve already given yourself to me.”
his lips brushed from your ear down to the corner of your mouth, until finally, they met yours. you barely registered how easily your lips parted for him until his tongue slid in, claiming you. a groan slipped out before you could stop it.
you knew you should push him away. you should. but the thought barely even formed before it was gone, lost in the heat of his mouth.
"aren’t you gonna stop me?" he murmured, pulling back just enough to make you chase his lips.
you didn’t move, didn’t shove him away, didn’t say a damn thing.
his lips curled. "didn’t think so.”
then he kissed you harder, rougher. his fingers cradling your face while his other hand slid lower, gripping a handful of your ass. you gasped, and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, pulling you flush against him.
his knee pressed between your legs, shifting just right, and you moaned. his lips curved against yours. "there’s my good girl."
heat flared up your spine, equal parts humiliation and arousal. some semblance of reason came over you and you pushed at his chest, but he caught your wrist, pinning it against the counter.
"you wrote about how bad you wanted me to take you right here in this kitchen," he murmured, his breath warm against your lips. "want me to remind you?"
"shut up," you groaned, twisting your wrist free and shoving at him properly this time.
he didn’t budge. he only laughed, nipping at your lower lip before angling your face up, kissing you deep and slow, like he had all the time in the world. his hand slid from your ass to your thigh, hiking it higher around his hip.
the new angle made you feel him, every inch of his hard length pressing right against your core, and you gasped. he thrust against you and the groan he let out sent a pulse of heat straight to your stomach.
"fuck," he rasped, pressing his forehead to yours, his hips rolling again. "you feel that?"
your fingers curled into his shirt, whimpers spilling out of you as he kept humping you.
jeno’s grip tightened on your thigh, fingers digging into your skin as he rocked against you, his breath hot against your lips. “look at you,” he murmured, voice thick with amusement and something darker. “clinging to me like this when you were just pretending to hate me a few minutes ago.”
you opened your mouth to argue, to deny, but all that came out was a sharp gasp as his hands slid under your tank top, fingers tracing lazy patterns up your ribs until they found your perked nipple. his knee pressed more insistently between your legs.
“jen—”
“shh.” he breathed against your lips. “you don’t have to say anything. your body’s already telling me everything i need to know.”
the way his lips ghosted over your jaw, then down your throat, made your breath hitch. you felt like you were drowning in the way he touched you, just enough to drive you crazy but not enough to give you what you really wanted.
“you’ve thought about this,” he mused, voice laced with satisfaction as he pressed a slow, open-mouthed kiss just below your ear. “haven’t you? late at night, when you’re all alone…”
your nails dug into his shoulders as he ground against you again, harder this time. he was right. and that infuriated you.
“jeno,” you hissed, half warning, half plea.
“say it,” he murmured against your skin, hands slipping lower. “say you want me.”
you couldn’t do that. you still wanted to cling to some semblance of dignity. but then his fingers slipped inside your shorts, and the illusion that you ever stood a chance shattered.
your gasp turned into a strangled moan as his fingers dipped between your soaked folds, tracing slow circles, teasing you with featherlight strokes that had you melting against him. his breath was hot against your temple.
“if you don’t want this,” he murmured, “then maybe we should stop.”
and just like that, he started to retreat, his touch vanishing like a cruel tease.
“no,” you choked out, your hand gripping his wrist before he could pull away completely. “don’t stop… please.”
he tilted his head, savoring every ounce of your desperation. “you sure?” he mused, feigning innocence even as his lips, swollen and slick, curled into something devilish. “because if you think this is wrong, we really should stop.”
the bastard was toying with you, and worst of all, you found it maddeningly hot.
your nails dug into his arm, your body thrumming with frustration and need. “jeno,” you warned, voice dangerously low. “if you don’t touch me right now, i’ll go upstairs and do it myself.”
you saw the moment his pupils dilated, a dark, almost feral hunger flashing in his eyes.
“oh, princess,” he crooned, his hand slipping back into your shorts in an instant, fingers resuming their torment with renewed urgency. “you really shouldn’t have said that.”
but instead of touching you like you needed, he yanked your shorts down, your panties dragging along with them in one swift motion. before you could form a single word, he hoisted you onto the counter with ease, the hard surface pressing into the backs of your thighs. your legs instinctively tried to close, but his grip tightened, keeping you open for him.
and then he dropped to his knees.
your stomach plummeted, anticipation coiling so tightly inside you that you felt dizzy. he looked up at you from beneath his thick lashes, eyes heavy-lidded, pupils blown wide with hunger. his hands dragged slowly up the inside of your thighs, spreading them further. his tongue darted out, wetting his lips like he was about to devour the best meal ever.
your walls clenched around nothing.
“jeno—” his name came out in a broken gasp.
“you’re shaking,” his breath ghosted over your core, making you jolt, making you ache. "what’s wrong, baby? nervous?"
the way his voice curled around the word baby, sent a fresh wave of heat straight between your legs. but you didn’t get the chance to answer.
because then he dove between your thighs.
the first stroke of his tongue had you gasping, hands flying to his hair as your head snapped back against the cabinets. the heat of his mouth had your body jerking before you could stop yourself, pleasure so intense it almost hurt.
his hands flexed against your thighs, spreading you wider, keeping you still as he licked deep into you. and when he groaned you nearly lost it. the vibration shot straight through you, your stomach clenching, your thighs twitching against his grip.
“jeno—” his name was barely a breath, a desperate sound that made him hum against you, pleased. he pulled back just enough for his lips to brush over your skin.
“god, you taste even better than i imagined” he rasped.
and then he was back on you, tongue working faster, fingers digging into your thighs like he needed this, like he was getting off on the way you gasped, the way your body trembled under his mouth.
he wasn’t just eating you out. he was devouring you.
his tongue moved in slow strokes, drawing out every whimper that spilled from your lips. you tugged at his hair, grinding down harder, but he just chuckled against you. cocky bastard.
“needy, huh?” he murmured between licks. “thought you could handle it.”
you barely registered his words, too caught up in the way he worked you open. but then he pulled away, making you gasp at the loss.
“jeno—” you started to protest, but he was already grabbing you by the waist.
“quit whining,” he smirked, hoisting you up easily. you yelped, legs locking around his hips as he strode toward the stairs. “you wanted this, didn’t you?”
your back hit the mattress a second later. you barely caught your breath before he tugged his pants down, the outline of his dick straining against his boxers.
jeno climbed onto the bed, gaze flicking over you with heat. you expected him to take you right then but he leaned back instead, hands behind his head.
“ride my face,” he said.
you froze, thinking he was joking for a second, but then you saw his his eyes and realized he was being completely serious. panic came over you, you’d never done this before, your boyfriend had never even eaten your out before, only fingered you. this was way more than that though.
“jeno—”
he raised a brow. “what, shy now?” his hands shot out, dragging you toward him. “c’mon, don’t start getting all sweet on me now.”
he positioned you right above his face. you swallowed, “jeno… i-i don’t know—“
“don’t worry baby, trust me”
and then he was spreading your legs further apart so you sank on his face slowly. his nose nuzzled between your folds first, the sharp line of it pushing against your core and making a guttural moan escape you.
his tongue followed, licking up and down, and prodding your entrance with insistence.
“oh, fuck—me” you whimpered, his hands on your hips guided you to press even harder against his face and even in your pleasure you worried he would drown in your cunt.
but when you looked down, there was nothing but pure bliss on his face, his eyes rolling back and his brows furrowed as he lapped relentlessly. it looked like he was enjoying this as much as you.
as your orgasm approached again, you couldn’t help but roll your hips against his face. the movement made his nose press further as his tongue continued licking long greedy strips against your clit.
“jeno—i...i’m—“ you moaned,
and your orgasm crashed over you with such a violent force it made you lean forward barely catching yourself with your arms before you could actually suffocate the boy under you.
you crawled down his body, your breath hitching as you took in the sight of his face glistening with your juices. his tongue swept out as he licked up every trace, dark eyes fixed on you.
his hands remained anchored on your hips, fingers flexing just enough to press you down against his body. you could feel him hard and burning through the thin fabric of his sweats. the instinctive grind of your hips had him exhaling a low chuckle. you wanted this, he wanted this, but something held you back. if you crossed this line… would you really be able to turn back?
you didn’t have time to find out because the sound of the doorbell ringing snapped you both out of your daze.
jeno blinked, looking toward the bedroom door. “seriously...?”
“shit—” you scrambled off him, tripping over your own limbs in the process.
“i’ll get it,” he offered, starting to sit up.
“no!” you shoved at his chest, pushing him back down. “your face, jeno— it’s covered in my—just—go wash it off!”
he grinned lazily. “didn’t hear you complaining a minute ago.”
“not the time!” you hissed, picking up your discarded clothes and putting them on.
jeno started, “i read somewhere that cum is really good for your skin—”
you didn’t dignify that with a response, slamming the door shut on your way out. your reflection in the living room mirror was a disaster: hair tousled, lips kiss-swollen, fresh marks blooming along your neck. you tugged your collar up and plastered on what you hoped passed for a normal expression before opening the door.
and promptly felt the ground vanish under you when you saw who was standing outside.
“hey, beautiful” your boyfriend said.
your mouth went dry. “oh. wow. hi—”
he held up a bouquet. “i realized we didn’t really do anything special for valentine’s, and you were so thoughtful with your gifts…” his other hand revealed a small box.
your heart twisted at the sight.
“figured you deserved something nice after everything you’ve done for me.” he opened the box to reveal a delicate necklace, your initial glinting in tiny diamonds. “also, i wanna take you out today”
you swallowed. “it’s... beautiful, thanks.”
“here.” he stepped forward, gently brushing your hair aside to fasten it around your neck. his fingers grazed your skin then stopped.
“you’ve got a mark,” he said, frowning. his thumb skimmed over the hickey, sending your pulse into overdrive.
“mosquito bite,” you blurted.
he raised an eyebrow. “looks... aggressive.”
“it was a big mosquito,” you managed with a nervous laugh.
“massive, actually” came jeno’s voice.
you turned just as he was descending the stairs, towel-drying his face and now dressed in…god help you, only sweatpants. fresh hickeys also peppered his collarbone and chest.
your boyfriend’s smile tightened. “hi, man. hope i didn’t wake you.”
jeno shrugged. “nah, i was just eating a delicious meal.” his gaze flicked to you with something too close to amusement.
you fought the urge to kick him in the balls. “so! you said something about... going out?” you blurted, trying to shift the topic.
“uh... yeah. a new amusement park opened up nearby. thought we could check it out.”
“sounds amazing! i’m in!” anything to get out of this situation.
“i’ll just… shower real quick,” you said, stepping back.
“i’ll put the flowers in water,” your boyfriend offered, heading toward the kitchen.
as soon as he disappeared, you turned to jeno and hissed, “are you insane?”
he chuckled. “i didn’t even do anything.”
“you’re standing there shirtless covered in hickeys i don’t even remember giving you!” you whisper-yelled.
“yeah you went a little crazy, who knew you wanted me this bad?”
you shot him a glare. “this isn’t funny.”
“it’s a little funny.”
you let out an exasperated sigh, rubbing your face. “god, you’re impossible.”
jeno leaned in just enough for you to feel the warmth of him. “wouldn’t be nearly as fun if i wasn’t.”
you shook your head and darted upstairs, pulse still racing. what the hell was your life right now?
you gave yourself only twenty minutes to get ready, worried about leaving your boyfriend alone with jeno for too long. god only knew what kind of things jeno might say if left unchecked. you quickly threw on a pair of high-waisted jeans and a knitted sweater, keeping it simple with just a swipe of lip gloss and a touch of mascara.
when you came downstairs, you found them sitting at opposite ends of the couch. jeno was scrolling through his phone, legs spread out, a bored look on his face. your boyfriend was leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees, glancing around as if searching for a conversation topic that didn’t involve glaring across the room.
“i’m ready,” you announced, trying to break the awkward tension hanging in the air. both boys looked up.
you noticed Jeno had changed into fitted jeans and a black t-shirt.
“i hope you don’t mind,” your boyfriend said, his smile too stiff to be genuine, “but i invited jeno to come with us.”
“what?” your head snapped to jeno, who didn’t even have the decency to look guilty.
“yeah,” jeno said, casually running a hand through his hair. “a few of my friends are heading there too, so i figured we could all hang out.”
“oh… how nice,” you muttered through clenched teeth. jeno just smirked, waiting for you to snap in front of your boyfriend but you held back, drawing in a calming breath and turning toward the door instead.
outside, your boyfriend wiped a tiny smudge off the driver’s side door of his car with meticulous care. jeno scoffed audibly.
your boyfriend paused, glancing over his shoulder. “jeno, do you have a car... or do you wanna ride with us?”
“my car’s in the shop,” Jeno replied without missing a beat.
“oh yeah? what do you drive?”
“a ’69 mustang fastback,” jeno said smoothly, shoving his hands in his pockets.
your boyfriend’s lips parted slightly. you knew he was impressed—he loved cars—and even if he tried to play it cool, the way his eyes widened gave him away. “that’s a classic. was it your dad’s?”
“nope.” jeno grinned. “saved up since high school and bought it myself at the barrett-jackson auction last year.”
your boyfriend’s eyebrows shot up. “that’s... actually really impressive.”
yeah, jeno thought, satisfaction bubbling in his chest. he lived for moments like this, when people looked at him like he was something special. he just couldn’t let it slip that his dad had footed most of the bill for the car’s custom work. it wasn’t like he asked for that help, but there was no way he was turning it down either. and he sure as hell wasn’t about to admit that in front of your boyfriend. not when the guy was looking at him with something close to respect. honestly, jeno kind of liked having that edge over him.
you could practically see the mental competition unfolding in front of you. jeno stood there like he’d just scored a point, while your boyfriend’s jaw tightened, clearly thinking of how to reclaim the upper hand.
“are you guys done with the dick-measuring contest, or should i grab a ruler?” you asked, arms crossed.
jeno laughed under his breath. your boyfriend glanced away, muttering, “yeah, yeah, let’s go.”
the ride was somehow worse than you expected. normally, when you’d ride with your boyfriend, the car was filled with pleasant conversation. he’d ask about your day and tell you about his… but now, with jeno in the backseat, the air felt suffocating. not even the faint music playing on the radio could ease your discomfort.
“were you sleeping before i came?” your boyfriend asked, glancing at you briefly before focusing back on the road.
you tensed. sleeping? far from it. you’d most definitely come before he arrived, and now your face burned with the memory. you shot a quick look over your shoulder at jeno, hoping to gauge if he was going to say something incriminating. he was scrolling through his phone, but the corner of his mouth curled up in that stupid smirk of his.
“uh… no,” you said, clearing your throat. ��i couldn’t sleep very well last night, so i just had an early breakfast.”
“ah,” your boyfriend hummed. “and your parents are back sunday, right?”
“yeah,” you replied, grateful for the change in subject.
the silence that followed wasn’t comfortable. your boyfriend tapped the steering wheel rhythmically, occasionally glancing at you like he was expecting conversation but you were too busy trying not to spontaneously combust from how tense everything felt.
he reached over and turned on the car’s bluetooth. “let’s put on some music,” he muttered, scrolling through his playlist. he settled on a song, and you relaxed until you recognized the beat a split second before the lyrics started.
"thoughts of you keep me up at night..."
heat immediately started creeping up your neck. of all the songs... and of all the lyrics to play right now.
"i think about all of the ways you turn me on... and my bed gets lonely whenever you’re gone..."
you stiffened, eyes wide as you stared out the window. you could feel jeno’s gaze burning into the side of your face, and when you dared to glance back, you saw his eyes fixed on you, an eyebrow raised like this was the funniest thing to ever happen. your boyfriend, oblivious to the lyrical implications, simply tapped along to the beat.
you reached for the phone. “let’s put something else—”
“what? you don’t like this song?” your boyfriend asked, glancing at you with a smile.
“it’s… just—” you floundered. jeno chuckled under his breath.
“leave it,” Jeno said. “I think it’s pretty relatable.”
your boyfriend shot him a look through the rearview mirror probably wondering what he meant.
you squeezed your eyes shut, praying for the ground to swallow you whole. why did the drive feel like it was taking forever?
when you arrived at the amusement park, you were pleasantly surprised to see jenny and natty waiting near the entrance, drinks already in hand.
“we’re the masterminds behind this whole thing, by the way” jenny grinned, looping her arm through yours when you reached her.
“yeah,” Natty added, slipping in on your other side. “we told him he was an idiot for not doing something nice for you on saturday, so this is his redemption, and we’re here as the judges.”
the revelation should’ve surprised you—maybe even disappointed you—but it didn’t. things with your boyfriend had been...off lately. neither of you was really trying, and you couldn’t blame him for that when you weren’t putting in much effort yourself.
still, you plastered on a smile. this is supposed to be fun, you reminded yourself. and it was, you went on nearly every ride. your boyfriend, though, wasn’t a big fan of fast rides due to his motion sickness, and you didn’t miss the way jeno scoffed every time he turned down your suggestions to ride together.
you were heading toward the food stalls when something caught your eye. “ooh! let’s do that one!” you pointed to a shabby building draped in fake cobwebs and flickering lights. a crooked sign above the entrance read bloody encounter in dripping red letters.
jenny made a face. “why would you willingly do that to yourself?”
“come on,” you urged, tugging her arm. “it’ll be fun! i saw a video of it on instagram! it looks insane.”
“that’s exactly why i don’t want to go,” jenny shot back, glancing warily at the entrance.
natty, wide-eyed, whispered, “have you seen that movie where a group of friends goes into a haunted house, and there’s an actual killer inside?”
“that’s literally a movie,” you said, but your attempt at sounding confident fell flat when natty added, “it was based on real-life events.”
you rolled your eyes but glanced over your shoulder at your boyfriend trailing behind. he looked at the ride and grimaced.
“eh... i don’t know, babe,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “you know i hate this kind of stuff.”
you visibly deflated and before you could respond, another voice cut in. “i’ll go with you,” jeno said, stepping forward, hands stuffed into his pockets.
“I—” you started to object, nerves twisting in your stomach. jeno? alone? no way. that felt like walking into a trap. “weren’t you going to meet up with your friends?” you tried, hoping to backpedal.
“they texted that they got a flat on the way here, so it’ll be a while before they arrive” he shrugged.
“you two have fun,” jenny said, already pulling natty away. “we’ll grab food in the meantime.” natty threw you a look that screamed good luck before disappearing into the crowd.
your boyfriend lingered. “you sure you’re gonna be okay?” he asked, eyes darting to jeno, whose expression remained unreadable except for the subtle roll of his eyes.
“yeah,” you lied, forcing a reassuring smile. “i’ll be fine. see you in a bit.”
stepping through the entrance, you were swallowed by darkness. the air was thick with the artificial scent of fog machines and that weird plasticky smell of cheap props. distorted laughter and screams echoed through the narrow halls, looping over speakers that crackled with static.
beside you, jeno looked about as thrilled as someone waiting in line at the dmv. he glanced around, gaze skimming lazily over the walls. "spooky," he deadpanned.
"wow, you're really committing to the whole fun-hater thing," you shot back, glancing over your shoulder. you knew something was about to jump out, it was just a matter of when. "if you hate this so much, why'd you come?"
“figured your dumbass boyfriend wouldn’t,” he shrugged, mouth quirking into something between a smirk and a sneer. "someone had to make sure you didn’t cry."
“excuse me—”
BANG!
a hidden panel to your left slammed open and a clown with cracked white paint on its face and red bulging eyes lunged out, blaring a horn right in your face. your soul practically left your body as you screamed and instinctively grabbed onto the nearest thing which, unfortunately, was jeno.
he didn’t even flinch, his arm simply went around your shoulders, comforting you even as your heart tried to beat out of your chest. you looked up, breath catching when you met his gaze. his eyes flicked down to where you were clutching his hoodie before lifting back to yours.
you pushed away, but his hand didn’t fall away immediately. it trailed from your shoulder down to the small of your back, you felt his warmth seep through the fabric of your sweater.
"so," he drawled, "should i hold your hand for the rest of this?"
“i swear to god…”
“—because i don’t mind”
“keep talking and i’ll feed you to the next clown,” you shot back.
he snorted. "like you’d make it through this without me."
you flipped him off without looking back, which earned a low chuckle in response. you stalked ahead, determined to focus on not tripping over the uneven floor, but his footsteps stayed close behind. annoyingly close.
the mirror maze was where things went downhill. everywhere you turned, warped reflections of you and jeno stretched and twisted in the glass. dark shapes flickered just out of sight, and the speakers just made everything worse by echoing whispers that felt like they were breathing down your neck.
your reflection twisted, making your head look three times too big. jeno snorted. “look, they got your good side.”
“bite me” you said, peering around a corner. your reflection multiplied into a dozen versions of you, all looking equally pissed.
“tempting,” he muttered, mostly to himself.
jeno’s fingers suddenly wrapped around your wrist and he tugged you in the opposite direction.
“it’s this way,” he said.
“how would you know?”
“we’ve been stuck in here for like ten minutes,” he cut in. “you’re clearly not the best guide.”
you bit your tongue, resisting the urge to snap back.
jeno pointed at a door partially concealed by a tangle of fake cobwebs. “that’s gotta be the exit.”
“that looks deliberately hidden,” you said, eyeing it warily. something about it seemed off.
“well,” he shrugged, “either we try that or we keep wandering in circles. your call.”
fine. you followed him, trusting—against better judgment—that his instincts were better than yours.
they weren’t.
the door creaked open to reveal a forgotten section of the attraction with dust-covered boxes, broken props tossed in corners, and walls lined with peeling fake blood. the air smelled like damp cardboard and stale fog machine fluid.
“...okay,” he said, unfazed. “so not the exit.”
“wow. color me shocked.”
he shot you a look. “didn’t hear you coming up with better options.”
you rolled your eyes and turned back to the door. “whatever, let’s just—”
it didn’t budge. frowning, you tried again, putting more weight into it. nothing.
your pulse quickened. “uh... jeno?”
“what?”
“the door’s stuck.”
“just turn the handle—”
“i am!” frustration and panic crept into your voice. “i know how to open a damn door!”
“move.” he gently nudged you aside, grabbing the handle. he twisted while shoving his shoulder into it but the door held firm “...shit.”
your stomach dropped. this wasn’t funny anymore. “no, no, no… this can’t be happening.” you raked a hand through your hair.
jeno stepped back, scanning the room like there might be another way out. “it’s gotta be part of the attraction… like some escape room or…”
“yeah? you really think they’d make a whole escape room and hide it behind a side door that was clearly not supposed to be opened?” your voice cracked, breath coming quicker now.
he glanced at you, expression shifting. “hey.” his tone dropped, calmer. “don’t freak out.”
easy for him to say. your brain was already spiraling. you were locked in some creepy back room of a haunted house... with him.
you leaned back against the door, shutting your eyes as you tried to calm your racing heart.
“do you have your phone?” you asked, voice tight as you pushed away from the door and walked toward him.
he patted his back pocket and pulled out his phone, holding it up before showing the dead screen. “no battery.”
you let out a frustrated sigh, rubbing your temples. “of course.”
“the staff will probably notice we never came out,” he said, glancing around the dimly lit room. “they’ll be looking for us soon.”
“i didn’t even see anyone else besides that clown,” you muttered. “this is what i get for coming in here with you.”
“what’s that supposed to mean?” his voice dropped a note lower, and when you looked up, he’d stepped closer. your back nearly hit the door again, tension sparking between you like static electricity.
“you’ve clearly upset some kind of energy around me, and that’s why all these things keep happening,” you snapped, trying to push away the sudden awareness of how little space there was between your bodies.
“are you being for real right now?” he chucked bitterly, dark eyes flicking to your lips for a fraction of a second before meeting your eyes again. “you’ve been writing dirty fantasies about me for months but i’m the one somehow upsetting your energy?”
heat surged to your face, both from anger and embarrassment. “and that’s all they were! fantasies!” you shot back, voice rising. “i never wanted you to read those.” your breath came quicker. his proximity was messing with your ability to think straight.
“yeah?” he leaned in, close enough that you could feel the warmth of his breath. the playful glint in his eyes burned away, leaving something far more dangerous. “you say that like you didn’t mean every goddamn word.”
your fingers curled into fists at your sides. "is now really the time for this?"
“how come my presence didn't bother you when my mouth was between your legs?” he growled.
your hand shot up, ready to shove him away but he caught your wrist, pinning it above your head. your heart kicked into overdrive.
“not here,” you breathed, but it was weak, barely convincing.
“nobody’s around,” he rasped, chest flush against yours. “and you don’t really want me to stop.”
his lips dragged along your neck greedily, teeth scraping your skin before his tongue soothed the sting. your knees nearly gave out.
“jeno—fuck—we can’t,” you gasped, even as your hips arched toward him, desperate for friction.
“i’m sure i can make you cum before anyone shows up,” he promised, voice like rough velvet.
then he grabbed your thigh, hauling your leg around his waist and shoving his hips against you. the contact had you gasping, heat blooming everywhere at once. his grip was bruising, grounding you and shattering you all at once.
“you have no idea—” his breath was ragged, words spoken between gritted teeth, “—how fucking hard it was to sit back and watch you with him. i wanted to drag you away and remind you exactly whose tongue had you shaking mere hours ago.”
that snapped something inside you. your fingers twisted in his hair, pulling him in as his mouth crashed against yours. his hips rolled, grinding against you in rough motions that stole every coherent thought from your brain.
you should stop. you should care about where you were or the fact that your boyfriend was waiting for you outside, but the way he was touching you, kissing you, claiming you.
he pressed you hard against the wall, hands pulling at your sweater with urgency. the second it was off, his mouth was on you, sucking against the lace of your bra. his groan was barely controlled.
“fuck, so fucking perfect,” he muttered, his words shaky. his gaze was hungry as he tore your bra off, his lips tracing the curve of your chest.
his mouth found your nipple, sucking hard. your back arched and a gasp slipped from you.
“god, perfect tits,” he growled. his hands were shaking now, and there was no control in his voice, just raw need.
without warning, he pulled your pants off, almost knocking you off balance. you barely steadied yourself before he turned you around, shoving you forward. Your hands gripped the wall for support, and you felt him push his erection against your ass.
“fuck, gonna make you feel so good. better than your fingers ever could. let me fill you up” he groaned, his voice desperate. you could feel how hard he was even through his jeans.
you bit your lip, refusing to let him have the satisfaction of knowing just how much you wanted him. before you could look back, his hand was on your jaw, turning your head to face forward.
“be good and i’ll let you look,” he growled, his breath hot against your ear.
he pulled your panties aside, the fabric stretching tight against you. it felt like it might snap any second, but before the thought could even settle, his finger was buried in your folds. the cool touch of his rings against your heat made you gasp, your body shuddering in response.
“oh god,” you mewled.
if your mind was clear enough to process anything, you’d laugh at how absurd this was. your fantasies, the ones you’d written about in your blog, were unfolding before your eyes, all within a day.
“barely even touched you, and you’re already dripping like this?” his voice was laced with amusement, though there was a growl beneath it.
“jeno, please don’t… tease me.” the words barely left your mouth, a plea you couldn’t hold back.
he smirked, his thumb brushing over your sensitive spot as he circled your clit. “i thought you were the one who didn’t want to do this here,” he taunted.
“please,” you whispered, barely able to form a coherent thought.
he chuckled, drawing another slow circle, teasing you, making you ache. every motion of his finger made your body respond, pushing your hips back instinctively. “so eager,” he muttered, his mouth hot against your shoulder.
his finger plunged inside you, and before you could adjust, another joined. he pulled them out slowly, spreading the slickness of your folds across your skin, making you squirm in desperation. you felt the pressure of his cock growing against your ass, and you clenched around his fingers, your walls yearning for more.
“ready for me, baby?” his voice was low, dark, almost a growl, and you nodded, mind too fogged to say anything.
he spread your legs wider, forcing you open for him, giving him better access. you felt the tip of his cock swipe against your folds, teasing the entrance, and you couldn’t help but steal a glance down. his pre-cum smeared against you, mixing with your slickness.
“when i’m done with you, you won’t even remember who came before me…” his words were gruff, hot against your hair.
and then, just like that, he thrust inside. you heard him inhale sharply as your gummy walls welcomed him, stretching around him, pulling him deeper. he felt thick, too thick, and you weren’t sure if he was all the way in, but the fullness was overwhelming. his body pushed against yours, your legs trembling under the weight of him, but he wasn’t stopping.
one hand snaked around your waist, pulling you closer as jeno continued to push deeper. your moans grew louder, and with each thrust your inhibition was slipping away. it felt too good to care about being caught, to think about anything else but the feeling of being so full.
but then, just as you were losing yourself completely, the sound of footsteps and distant voices jerked you back to reality.
“guys, they probably already came out,” you recognized jenny’s voice, and you froze.
“y/n isn’t picking up her phone,” your boyfriend’s voice followed, too close, so close you could practically feel him in the room.
you pushed weakly against jeno, trying to make him pull out, but he wasn’t paying attention. instead, he thrust into you again, harder, his cock pressing into you so deeply that you bit your tongue to hold back the moan threatening to slip out.
“that’s cause i have it,” natty’s voice rang out, innocently. “she gave it to me when she went on the roller coaster earlier.”
jeno’s hand moved to cover your mouth, muffling the sounds you couldn’t stop from escaping. he continued to pound into you, relentless, while pulling you flush against his chest, his pace steady but punishing. panic clawed at your throat as your breath quickened.
“when were you gonna tell us that...?” jenny’s voice sounded sharp, you could even picture the scowl that came with it.
“did you try jeno?” your boyfriend asked, the concern in his tone making the situation even more unbearable.
“we don’t have his phone number,” natty replied casually.
“i do,” Jenny said, her voice almost sheepish.
jeno’s hips stuttered for a brief moment, the pace slowing as he briefly pulled away from you. you thought he was stopping but before you could even react, he spun you around, forcing you to face him. his forehead glistened with sweat, his lips swollen from how hard he’d bitten them, his breath labored.
“what? since when?” natty asked, her voice sounding confused but amused.
“i stole it from y/n’s phone,” jenny muttered quickly. “don’t tell her, though.”
before you could even process her words, jeno thrust back into you, pressing you into the wall with each brutal stroke. the wall rattled violently with every movement and you could barely form the words to warn him.
“j-jeno, stop… they… they’re gonna hear us,” you gasped. your whole body felt like it was being torn apart in the best way, but the fear of being caught made it impossible to enjoy it fully.
“let them,” he growled against your ear, his grip tightening on your waist. “let your boyfriend know i’m the only one who can make you cum.”
you couldn’t help the loud whimper that came out when he said that.
“did you guys hear that?” your boyfriend’s voice rang out, sharp with suspicion.
your eyes widened in sheer panic, your body stiffening around jeno. but instead of stopping, he only smirked, still buried deep inside you. the bastard was enjoying this.
his hand trailed down, fingers finding your clit, and the second he started rubbing tight circles, your head lolled back involuntarily. another strangled whimper escaped before you could stop it. the feeling of his fingers working you over while he continued driving into you relentlessly had you seeing white.
“what?” natty asked, her voice tinged with unease.
jeno didn’t stop, his movements staying controlled except for the way his breath hitched when your walls fluttered around him. his lips parted slightly, a muscle in his jaw twitching as he fought to keep from moaning out loud.
“it sounded like… a person?” your boyfriend said, his voice closer now.
your head snapped up in terror, eyes locking onto jeno’s, silently pleading with him to stop. but he wasn’t even looking at you. his teeth were digging into his lower lip, dark eyes fixed on where your bodies were joined, watching the way he disappeared inside you over and over again.
“it’s probably just the scary audio replaying on the speakers,” Jenny suggested.
“and that rattling sound?”
jeno’s eyes flicked up at that, finally registering your panic. without pulling out, he wrapped an arm around your waist and lifted you off the wall effortlessly, carrying you a few paces away before pressing you down onto an old, dusty table.
before you could even think to protest, he shoved your knees up and entered you again, deeper this time, making you arch off the surface with a muffled cry. your teeth sank into the flesh of your hand to keep the noises in.
the table creaked with each sharp thrust, dust kicking up into the air around you. tears pricked your eyes, whether from pleasure, mortification, or both, you weren’t sure.
“maybe rats or something,” jenny suggested, her voice fading as she moved further away. “who cares? let’s just go. they’re not here anymore.”
the moment the voices started retreating, jeno leaned over you.
“we almost got caught,” he whispered, his teeth grazing your earlobe “...and you’re still fucking dripping around me.”
you didn't even get to feel embarrassed by his words because soon he was already moving again harder, deeper, like he needed to make up for the interruption. the table kept creaking under the force of his thrusts, and your fingers scrambled for something to hold onto.
when you looked down, your breath hitched at the sight of his cock drilling into you over and over, slick coating both of you in a wet mess. you were mesmerized by the sharpness of his hip bones, the way his veins bulged with every flex of his muscles.
you wanted to touch. you needed to.
your fingers twitched with the urge. why is he still so covered? you’d seen him shirtless before, had spent far too long secretly admiring the cut of his abs, but seeing and feeling were entirely different. you wanted to feel them ripple under your hands, to feel the heat of his skin against your palms.
driven by that need, you pushed up on your elbows, reaching for the hem of his shirt. he didn’t stop you, just watched with dark eyes and parted lips as you dragged the fabric up, exposing smooth skin and the taut muscles beneath. your fingers splayed over his stomach, feeling how hard he was clenching, how his body responded to you.
jeno tensed the moment your hands made contact with his skin, a sharp inhale hissing through his teeth. his hips faltered for a second before slamming back into you with even more force. your breath stuttered, and when you looked up, his eyes were already locked onto yours, pupils blown wide with something wild.
suddenly, he leaned forward and his lips crashed into yours, all-consuming. a deep grunt rumbled from his chest as he licked into your mouth, greedy and desperate, sucking at your tongue like he couldn’t get enough of your taste. you gasped, clutching at his shoulders, your fingers digging into the sweaty skin under his shirt.
he groaned against your lips, voice ragged. “you—” another thrust, deeper this time, knocking the air from your lungs. “—are driving me fucking crazy.”
you felt your orgasm building fast, your breath catching as pleasure coiled tight in your stomach. words tumbled out of your mouth, barely coherent, dissolving into soft gasps as your body clenched around him. jeno moaned against your lips, his hand sliding back to your chest, fingers toying with your nipple. his hips didn’t slow, driving into you with almost manic thrusts that had your head spinning.
“fuck, i’m close,” he breathed out, voice rough in your ear. “where do you want it?”
you blinked through the pleasure, brain too sluggish to register the question. when it did, warmth flooded your cheeks. you were on the pill and the thought of him stuffing you up with his cum, just like you’d written about, made your walls flutter instinctively. “inside,” you said, voice barely above a whisper.
jeno’s jaw flexed, his gaze darkening. “yeah?” his pace quickened, rougher now, his lips brushing against your neck. “couldn’t wait for me to fill you up, hm?” his words melted into a groan when you clenched around him.
“jeno—i—” the rest of the sentence dissolved into a cry as your orgasm crashed over you violently. your body arched into him, trembling.
he wasn’t far behind. you felt his rhythm stutter before warmth flooded you, his hips pressing deep as he let out a low, drawn-out moan. his lips found yours again, kissing you slowly, even as both of you tried to catch your breath.
when he finally pulled back, his gaze held yours for a while. you wanted to ask what he was thinking, but the words stuck in your throat.
you felt him slip out of you along with the slow drip of hia cum trailing down your thighs. he reached for your discarded underwear, swiping it between your legs with surprising gentleness before, without hesitation, tucking it into his back pocket.
“hey—” you started to protest, but the look he shot you shut you up fast. apparently, those were his now.
a few quiet minutes passed, both of you fixing your clothes, when the door groaned open. you flinched as an older staff member peeked in, eyes widening upon spotting you two.
“what on earth are you two doing in here?”
you quickly stepped forward, feigning wide-eyed innocence. “so sorry, sir! we got lost trying to find the exit, and then the door jammed. thank you for helping us”
“yeah. where’s the way out?” jeno added, right behind you.
“just head left twice. you’ll see the exit sign.” the man shook his head, muttering something under his breath as he waved you off.
“thanks again!” you called, already pulling jeno with you. once outside, the cool night air hit your flushed skin, and you wrapped your arms around yourself with a shiver.
“if we’d followed my directions,” you said, glancing sideways at him, “we would’ve been out a while ago.”
jeno’s jacket appeared over your shoulders before you could argue further. “yeah,” he smirked, eyes glinting under the neon lights. “but then we wouldn’t’ve had all that fun, would we?”
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likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated <3 my inbox is always open for any feedback about the fic or if you just wanna talk
support me here if you want (´。• ᵕ •。`) ♡
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skrunksthatwunk · 2 years ago
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good news: next piece is a saejima cat-related comic
bad news: i uh. i don't know how to draw cats skull emoji
#good news: it's going well actually#i am getting better and looking at references and so on#and i actually feel really happy with how this one's looking stylistically which is good#i've been feeling a bit down on my art for the past uh. idk like 2 years now lol#you know how it is when you get good enough at art that your progress slows down because there's less room for dramatic growth?#yeah. that#also i just wasn't able to do art nearly as often which meant i always was/felt rusty etc#but i'm rocking with this one at the moment!! yippee#anyway i'm just trying to be happy that i've been doing art at all since that wasn't really an option much this past year#and simply drawing a lot makes you better so like. might as well#no it's not the intensive summer studying i was hoping for but tbh that was a strange expectation to have in the first place so like. nya#might just substitute nya for whatever as a thought terminator. we'll see.#anyway yeah me when i'm positive me when i'm feeling good#me when i'm also probably going to be hella tired around my visiting relatives today bc i pulled an all nighter oops lol#i actually feel similarly good about that gor omi piece i posted earlier that got flagged for no reason <3#like. ok the leather stuff wasn't amazing but it wasn't awful either! relatively speaking! so yeah maybe it's just a good week for my art :#but i'm not joking when i say most of my understanding of how to draw cats is from. how to draw warrior cats apps from like 2014#so i'm fighting for my life out here basically. but also you would be surprised how much that helps tbh
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awrkive · 5 months ago
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NEIGHBOR BLUNDER, pt. 4 — JJK
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in hindsight, you should have seen it coming. had always known your luck – or lack of it, thereof – and the universe's meticulous plan of your downfall made it easy for you to get tangled up in a series of unfortunate events, which presents itself as the neighbor that lives across from you, jeon jungkook.
PAIRING jungkook x (fem) reader
GENRE r18+ (fluff, angst, smut) MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
CHAPTER WORD COUNT 17.1K words
CHAPTER WARNINGS/MISC neighbor!jk, bsf!jimin, accountant!oc software engineer!jk, jk and jimin are chaebols lol, minjoon boyfriends <<<<3, mature language, alcohol consumption, misogyny 🫤, club fight... but also lots of screaming into your pillow moments part 2, oc goes twenty different emptions in like..one hour (my babyy😖) and uhhhhhh the biggest warning of them all: jungkook pov and the ending😖
NOTES pls pretend you didnt see that post earlier,, it was a testament to my failure lets forget about it anyway WE ARE SOOOO SOO BACK!! hope you guys enjoy this one and as usual, let me know what you think and lets chat!!
[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] // [ MAIN MASTERLIST ]
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“I’m coming home!” Were Jimin’s first words as soon as you answer his facetime invite. 
With eyes barely open, you push your face deeper in the plush of your pillows, groaning. 
“Jimin, it’s six am.” 
“And?” Jimin dismisses. “We ought to celebrate!” 
“I’m not even up yet.”
“So, you hate me.” 
You let out a grumble, this time snapping your eyes fully open to see Jimin’s brow arched your way, his attitude reaching you even when you're a thousand miles apart. Classic Jimin. 
“You’re a drama queen, and for the record, I got everything covered. Octagon, VIP area, 1 am. Dress slutty. Have fun, loosen up. Go crazy.” 
“O– kay ,” Jimin says, chuckling in amusement at your flat tone with your deadpanned face. “God, I just can’t wait to go back. You will not believe all of the shit I’ll be telling you once I get there.” 
You prop your phone on your nightstand and begin to stretch on your bed. “You better tell me you have Italian men’s IGs to refer to me.” you joke. Sleep is slowly starting to fade away from your system. Glancing at the wall clock from across the room, you take note it’s almost time to get ready for work.w
“Please,” he rolls his eyes. “As if you’re gonna respond when they do send you a DM.” 
That earns an abrupt laugh from you. “I do respond, though.” you giggle. You stand up from the bed, carrying the phone with you as you head to the living room to prepare your breakfast. 
“Babe, you’ve responded to two out of ten men I referred to you, and you ghosted two, by the way.” 
You look at him in shock. “What, you supported me!” 
“Still, though… ugh, the Wooseok guy still asks about you, by the way. It was literally so awkward when we met at that– I forgot, but it was a party.” 
You cringe internally, and it probably translates to your face because you hear Jimin laughing from the other side of the line. Shaking your head, you tell Jimin, “Nope– not gonna feel sorry. He was weird as fuck, and I genuinely think – still to this day – that he’s a fury.” 
Jimin’s expression morphs into distaste. “Yeah, no, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was true based on the stories you told me but I swear to you he felt like a normal person to me when we first met.” You and Jimin both gave each other a knowing smile; pursed lips and a scrunched nose, already getting where both your heads are at. But Jimin swerves to the next subject smoothly, “Anyway, I see your apartment’s all fixed, considering you’re there.” 
You light up at the mention and nod. Looking around, you can’t help the smile that spreads over your lips, thinking that finally, it’s all okay now. Like nothing even happened.
“Oh, yeah. It actually is.” you say, enthusiasm apparent in your voice.
“You know you could’ve stayed at my place, right?”
You give him a dismissive wave of your hand, despite smiling still, appreciating the offer regardless. You know you could’ve and that he wouldn’t have minded, but, “Yeah, no, I didn’t want to impose.”
That earns an instant eye roll from Jimin, followed by a scoff, “You’re literally my blood sister.”
“I know! But remember when I had to stay over at your place for three days earlier this year because of some gas leak…” you bring it up, “I swear this complex is out to get me.”
“You need to move out.”
The impassive look you give him is almost warranted.
“And you need to give me a new job for that.” 
Jimin snickers. “... which would be quite ironic because I don’t even have one in the first place.” 
You know it’s a bummer subject but since he mentioned it, anyway, you decide to ask, “How’s the training going, by the way? Pretty sure Ms. Lim has blown up your phone over the course of your absence.” Ms. Lim is the PR head of their company, and Jimin instantly sours at the mention of her name. 
With a grimace, he completely shuts down the subject. “I don’t even wanna talk about it.” 
You give him a sympathizing smile before Jimin picks up the conversation with a more not-so-bummer subject. He asked you how work has been, and he told you all about the places he and Namjoon went to in Italy. He asked about your thing with Taemu, and you could only give him a sheepish smile, one that he chastised you for because “how dare you keep slutty information from me!” . You almost feel bad because it wasn’t that at all, but because you didn’t want to dig deeper into your own grave, you decided to change the topic and talked about how you two are going to spend the night later on when you meet, and soon, you had to end the call so you can catch your bus. 
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Jimin has always told you you’re a bad liar. You couldn’t lie even if your life depended on it. But you do it, anyway, even though many instances have already proved the notion right, and one of them presents itself now.
“Sol, I have a question.” You feel bad for your lip as you have to nibble on it for what seemed to be the nth time for the day, treading on your thoughts lightly as Sol turns to look at your side to acknowledge you.
She casts one last glance on her computer before saying, “Is it controversial?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, ask Junhwi,” that earns an eye roll from you instantly, making Sol snicker a quiet laughter. “Kidding. What is it?” 
You’re currently on your lunch break, and what’s the harm in talking about a few things in your head that’s been keeping you up all night these past few days?
“Okay…” you begin, making sure to look around and confirm nobody’s listening. They probably are not and couldn’t care less either. “So this happened to a friend.” you say, as if putting out a disclaimer, gauging Sol’s face for a reaction. 
There wasn’t much. She just raised an intrigued brow, “Uh-huh.”  
How do you even begin? 
“So… she’s kind of talking to this guy,” you start, furrowing your brows, actively thinking about your choice of words. Your friend hums and you continue, “Then one time, this guy sort of like– she’s not exactly sure, but he kind of… tried to kiss her?” You didn’t mean for that to sound so unsure.
With the way Sol’s brow has arched way more at that, you imagine she’s noticing your hesitance in speaking about this in the first place.
“How do you kind of try to kiss a person?”
“Like, they were hugging. Or whatever–” you try to not let yourself be too descriptive, but in the process of that, pictures of that night come flashing in your head. Against your better judgement, there’s heat that creeps up in your cheeks when you get your next words out, “The guy just, uh, swooped down for a kiss. I mean, he was supposed to go for a kiss. But then the girl– my friend– dodged it. So basically, nothing happened.” 
“Why? She doesn’t like him?” 
“That…” Sol probably didn’t mean to but she definitely catches your tongue with the question. You lean back, blinking at her. “I… hah . That’s the… thing. I think… she likes him. But she’s not sure. I think she’s having second thoughts… but to be honest I think she has a crush on the guy but she’s trying to pull herself away from it but then she can’t do it because things are starting to feel a little different.” You let out one heavy puff after you spit the monologue out in one breathing. If Sol was already looking at you weird a few seconds ago, you’re now convinced you’ve unknowingly grown another head behind you. But you continue anyway. “... what does all of that mean?”   
“O… kay,” She says, sounding a little uncertain. She turns her body to you now completely. With the way she scoots her chair closer to you, leaning forward and hunching to be in your earshot, you realize she’s actually just become more invested. “Babe, you have to walk me through this like I’m five. So you and this guy are talking, you have a crush on him, and then he tried to kiss you, but you dodged it. Right?”
“Yeah! Something like that–” and upon realizing that you walked into a trap without even that much effort coming from her, your eyes widen while your friend just grins at you like she knew that was coming. You shake your head vehemently. “Wait, no, no, no. It’s not me.” 
Sol rolls her eyes. Your shoulders deflate. 
You see, Jimin is always right about everything. When he told you you suck ass at lying and you should never try it, he was just looking out for you. And why are you so surprised when these past few weeks, all your lies have blown up right in your face? And at the most inconvenient times and places too, at that – if seeing Jungkook at Jimin’s mom’s birthday party and seeing him in your company’s elevator is anything to go by.
“Alright, it’s me.” you say with a defeated tone. 
Sol stares at you with her squinted eyes. “You whore. Who’s the guy?”
And how are you supposed to say it’s Jeon Jungkook, the one who’s like seven floors above you, the son of the president of the very company you’re currently working in right now, and the interim CTO as of the moment and then expect her to believe you? 
So you shrug, shaking your head. “It’s not anyone you know.”
“Well, thank god! I don’t know anyone who’s decent enough to date any of my friends!” You’re about to thank the heavens when you thought she wouldn’t dig too much into that, but then she adds, “Show me a pic.” She excitedly huddles closer to you, looking right at your phone on your desk.
Well, no. 
“Nah, that’s not relevant to the issue at hand. And… the whole thing’s not even serious–” A blatant lie, but you carry through, “And the… almost-kiss happened, like, two days ago and I’m still–” you cut yourself off with a pained groan, which makes Sol look at you with concern. You purse your lips into a thin line, then. “We were actually drinking at his place together. So we were both kind of drunk? Though that was me mostly. I’m thinking, maybe, I misjudged the whole thing or worse, I just imagined it.” 
“Don’t be ridiculous. That’s way too elaborate and your feelings about this feels way too real to just come from an imagination. You said he tried to kiss you, right?” She grazes you with a gentle nudge on the arm. 
“Maybe?” 
“What do you mean, maybe?”
“I don’t know. It was just weird. I swear he tried to kiss me, but I could be wrong. I couldn’t think of reasons for him to try to do that. And I don’t even know why I avoided it in the first place.” You say with a frown, and then sighing when you realize your own thought process doesn’t make any sense.
“Well, what happened after?” 
You grimace. “I told him we should probably sleep,” You remember him carrying you to his bedroom – and as per your shameless request, at that. You intentionally leave that out because even you cannot comprehend what it meant. Why did Jungkook do all that? And did he , really? Or you just somehow deluded yourself into thinking that there is more to his actions rather than what they really are on the surface? “He was just like… he laughed it off, then that was the last of it. I slept in his room alone, and the morning after, I went out because he wasn’t there anymore. Went to work early.”
Sol gasps. “Oh brother…”
Your heart begins to hammer at her tone.
“What.”
“He hasn’t reached out after that night?” 
You wince, and not because of what she thinks it’s for.
“He actually did,” Sol looks at you in question, rightfully so. You nibble on your bottom lip before elaborating, “So a few days before that happened, he bought me a couch cushion. And then he texted me if I wanted it because I didn’t bring it with me when I left his apartment.” 
You can see Sol’s confusion beginning to draw on her face. “I’m sorry, he bought you a what?”
“A cushion.”
It takes her a few seconds to form a response. “You know what, I’m not even gonna ask why. But you know what I’m very certain of right now?” 
“... what?”
“You should’ve married him on the spot.”
“What?”
Sol snickers an overjoyed laugh, clearly pleased with herself at your incredulous reaction. “No, it totally makes sense, trust me. But okay. Then what happened after? What did you say to his text?” You stare at each other for awhile, with Sol smiling brightly, obviously expecting you to say something good. You grind your teeth to avoid cringing as you brace yourself for what’s to come, and as if realizing that from your face, Sol frowns. “Oh my god, don’t tell me you haven’t replied to him!”
You can’t help but wince. “Would you hate me if I confirm that?”
“Oh my god.”
“Yeah…”
“Well, damn. I can’t help you.”
“Ugh…” You groan, bringing your palms to your cheeks, pouting at her, feeling sort of defeated at this point. 
Sol dramatically holds one hand out, giving it an upward flick as if to tell you you’re being ridiculous for not seeing a point so clearly soon. “Obviously, this guy likes you! That man wants to fuck you ten ways to Sunday but also wants to wife you up and pay your mortgage in straight cash as well as your water and electricity bills. And he’d most likely set up your nonexistent kids’ trust funds the first month into the marriage because he just wants to make sure.”
Your jaw drops. “Okay…? Now you’re doing too much.”
She rolls her eyes in response, as if what she said is a totally normal response.
“You’re dense, it’s crazy. You couldn’t think of a reason why he tried to kiss you? Listen, why would you want to kiss someone? Because you like them. Of course he likes you! And he asked you about the cushion because he probably didn’t want to bombard you with questions about what happened the previous night. It shows he still wants to keep whatever it is you have going on.”
You sigh, seeing her point. “I… know.”
“You don’t wanna make a move? I mean, you seem to really like him.” Sol says, looking at your face. You give her a slight nod, feeling that there’s no use denying that. 
But…
“I can’t, though.” you say, pursing your lips. 
Frowning, Sol tilts her head in genuine confusion. “Why?”
“Because he’s…” you try to think of any adjectives to describe Jungkook. He’s… charming. Kind. Smart. Funny, in his own little way. So down to earth. Handsome. Pretty. Tall. Really… big– muscly in all the right ways. But those things are not helpful to justify your case on why you don’t want to pursue… whatever it is you two have going on. Because as much as the sole memory of him holding your waist while he leaned down to your face caressing your cheeks in the way he softly did, his cologne wafting your senses into dysfunction, he’s still someone that you just can’t get involved with. “He’s just really out of my league.”
A few beats. Then, Sol raises her eyebrow.
“That’s it?” Sol asks, “That’s the big reveal?” 
“... Yeah?”
“Honey, a man can never be out of any woman’s league.” 
“I–” you crack a chuckle, rolling your eyes but smiling anyway. “I know what you mean. But he’s genuinely really out of an average person’s league, I’m telling you.”
“What, does he have a Nobel prize or something?”
You laugh, nudging Sol. She mirrors your laughter.
When you settle down into silence again, you tell her, “He’s a… he’s really nice and sweet, though he doesn’t have a Nobel prize–” you roll your eyes playfully when Sol laughs again. “But yeah, I don’t know. I’m still… confused about my own feelings. I’ve always had a crush on him ever since I first met him, and I just always kind of shrugged it off? But ever since that night… I’ve been feeling weird. And I haven’t talked to him, haven’t replied to any of his texts yet. You know how non confrontational I am and it gets really bad, but I just genuinely don’t know how to approach this. The whole thing is confusing.”
Sol gives you a sympathetic smile. “I get that.”
Nodding, you continue speaking your thoughts, “You know the thing about nice guys… it’s that, they’re so nice that you can’t figure out if you just put yourself into a deep psychosis where they care about you more than they do with other people. And it’s like, yeah, it’s nice that he’s sweet, but what if he’s just like that with everybody?”
“You mean you think he also tries to kiss everybody?” Sol quips.
You chuckle. She got you there. “Come on.”
“Okay, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it!” Giving you a gentle pat on the shoulder, Sol gently says. “I think what you need to do right now is just be honest to yourself first. Really try to figure out if you like this guy romantically or not.”
“That’s the thing, I just genuinely don’t know. I like the idea, maybe?” 
She nods. “Then just enjoy the flow for the meantime? I do think there’s something in there, though.” 
“Really?” you didn’t mean to perk up at that but you did, anyway, making Sol smile, even though she doesn’t point that out.  
“Of course I won’t know completely. Unless you show me this guy…” 
You laugh, shaking your head. “I’m sorry about this gossip turned into bummer stuff. I know it’s depressing.” 
“I don’t mind,” She shrugs coolly. “You listen to my boy problems all the time. And Jimin can suck on my plastic dick but you’re my best friend too.” 
Your laughter becomes louder, but you tone it down just as instantly, slapping Sol lightly. 
“Anyway, speaking of the devil, he actually invited you to come along later. We’re going for drinks at the Octagon.”
“Ohh,” Sol says in intrigue. But then she pouts sadly. “I wanna go. But Junhwi and I have a thing later,” You’re quiet for a while. When Sol sees your expression– your very bad attempt at a neutral expression– she rolls her eyes, knowing what you’re probably thinking. “Don’t even start.”
“What! I didn’t even say anything.” 
“It’s a work thing.” 
“Sure.” 
“I don’t like the way you’re looking at me.” 
You laugh. “Whatever, Sol.” 
She rolls her eyes again. “Whatever, too. Drink your hearts out, by the way.” 
You shrug. “Nah, I’m probably not gonna drink that much.”
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“Jimin, I’m starting to feel dizzy”
Jimin laughs, stepping closer to you while still swaying his body to the music playing in the club. He looks at the tequila in your hand – your third one for the night in the span of an hour… and thirty minutes? He tried to stop you from getting it, but you swore you can handle it and you can, you know you can, but maybe you’re not too sure about that anymore as you’re beginning to feel a little light on your feet.
“What happened to you saying you weren’t in the mood for drinking tonight?” He arches a brow. 
You groan, sounding more like a whine. “What’s up with these tequilas! If I get alcohol poisoning, is the club going to pay for it?” 
“They won’t. I’ll have to haul your ass to the ER myself.” 
“You can’t even do that because I know you’re three drinks away from tripping on your face.” 
Jimin rolls his eyes playfully. “No, I’m not. Unlike you I don’t have the tolerance of a freshman college girl,” He gets a hold of you when he’s closer, linking your arms together to guide you to your table, where you left Namjoon as per his insistence for you to enjoy yourselves on the dancefloor and catch up. Jimin said his boyfriend is actually leaving soon the next two days, so they’re making it count every hour, you guess. “Come on, I need to introduce you to someone. I’m pretty sure he’s arrived now.” 
You halt on your steps and look at Jimin alarmingly. “Who is it? I told you I’m hitting it off with Taemu these days.” The lie sits heavy on your tongue but Jimin calls bullshit right away.
“Is the hitting it off in the room with us when you just told me you literally do not care like just awhile ago?” 
You let yourself follow Jimin’s steps as you mumble, “Fine.”
Maybe the tequila had let your tongue slip that information. Great. Now you can’t use Taemu as a shield when Jimin asks about your lovelife.
But anyway, it’d be good, right? Meeting other people tonight? It’s been long since you dated somebody. And it would definitely be good for you if you talk to them as soon as now to forget certain things. Certain things like a certain somebody with the long, fluffy, brunette hair whose eyes speak the language of the moon and whose smile gives you the feeling of seeing ten puppies and twenty kittens all at once but at the same time makes you want to whip all your hair out because he casually does things like make your heart hammer in your chest at an abnormal pace by one, brief touch and then try to kiss you and laughs it off when you dodge it and tell him you’re sleepy. Like he doesn’t mind that you may want things to go… slow.    
But fuck. You’re supposed to avoid thinking about him. Not tonight. Not when Jimin’s apparently introducing you to somebody.
You’re not into rebounds or shit like that, and you’re not cruel to use somebody to move on from someone else – but maybe it’s only a matter of time before you dig your own grave too deep by prisoning yourself in the specific thoughts of a certain someone and you’d find it too late to move on.
So, yeah, it’d definitely be a good thing to meet and talk to other people right now.
And you’re sure whoever Jimin is having you meet with tonight is nice, anyway. 
From afar, you can see your table and the familiar figure of Namjoon’s figure facing towards your direction. You’re about to wave so he can see you and Jimin approaching but you notice another frame across his seat. Namjoon and the unknown person (who is judging from the back is definitely a man) is presumably the one Jimin is meaning to introduce you to, and your best friend mentions it right away beside you. 
“Oh, that’s him!” Jimin yelps, excitement filling his words. You look at him and before you realize it, you’re already near the table. You’re just about to ask who it is, forgetting to do so during your walk, when Namjoon suddenly gestures to you both in recognition; dimples showing even in the dim lighting as he smiles at you two. He glances back at the guy in front of him, who as a result, turns his body to look in your direction.
And what. The. Actual. Fuck.
How many times – how many fucking times are you going to see Jeon Jungkook in the most inconvenient places? 
Can you somehow make yourself disappear at the speed of light? Did Einstein ever figure that out and the US government just fabricated a lie that he implied that very act was contrary to the law of Physics so people don’t attempt it? 
Because as of now, you could have used that trick. 
Jungkook looks stricken in his seat for a solid beat until Jimin comes crashing into him, greeting the man enthusiastically.
“Jeon Jungkook, the man himself!” Jimin says, spreading open his arms, grinning widely. You can see Namjoon smiling at both of them, and you watch as Jungkook stands up from the couch to meet Jimin’s half-hug. Jimin pulls back a little. “I thought you wouldn’t make it tonight.” 
Jungkook chuckles, giving Jimin a light pat on the back. “Nah,” he says with a grin. “I wanted to make time to see you.” You try not to linger on the way his biceps subtly flex under the slim long-sleeve tee he’s wearing, its sleeves pushed up to his elbows, revealing a hint of the veins tracing his forearms. It draws your attention to your ensemble – a sparkly cropped halter top that leaves much of your midriff exposed, paired with a mini skirt. You’ve seen each other in towels before, sure, but somehow, being around each other like this feels different… no?
“This is __,” Jimin says, gesturing to you and looping an arm through yours to pull you closer. “You know her.” 
Your eyebrow shoots up, and you instantly look at Jimin in quiet surprise. Before you can say anything, Jungkook lets out a deep chuckle. The sound drawls your gaze back to him, and for a second, your eyes meet. 
“I’m Jungkook, by the way,” he extends a hand towards you. His voice is… quite charming when he adds, “I heard a lot about you.”
You hesitate for a moment before taking his hand, unsure if it’s just the alcohol coursing through your system or something else entirely, but the second his sizable hand engulfs yours; a warmth shoots straight to your cheeks. His grip is firm yet gentle.
You swear the handshake lingers a beat too long. 
“Good things, I hope?” you quip, managing a small smile despite the odd flutter in your chest. 
“Lots of good things.” Jungkook replies with a nod, his gaze steady. 
“Yeah?”
His eyes don’t waver, and somehow, you find yourself holding his stare longer than you intended until he arches a brow slightly, the subtle expression earning a small, involuntary tug on your lips. Jungkook doesn’t miss that and mirrors the gesture just as indiscreetly, head dipping in a barely-there nod to respond to you. 
“Yeah.”
“I’m glad, then,” You turn to look at Jimin to avoid letting the moment stretch further, unintentionally picking your voice up an octave higher – a small nervous habit because there was something that flashed on Jimin’s face witnessing both your and Jungkook’s interaction. “Anyway, I’m so glad we finally met! Jimin’s always mentioned you to me and all that stuff. Hey, Jimin, this is great! Joon, you guys know each other?” You say, desperate to divert the attention and glancing at Namjoon. 
He nods with an easy-going smile. “Yeah, we went to the same post-grad uni together in Cali.” 
Jimin perks up and slides over beside Namjoon, who immediately drapes an arm around him in a half-hug, letting him lean against his shoulder. “Jungkook’s actually the one who introduced us.” Jimin says, glancing fondly at Namjoon.
You blink in surprise. “Really?” Awkward as you may feel about the whole thing, you’re also genuinely surprised about the new information. You think you remember Jimin saying somebody introduced someone to him when he and Namjoon started, but you didn’t think it was his cousin.
“Yep,” Jimin nods, and Namjoon chuckles softly beside him.
The two of them are now comfortably seated on the couch, leaving the only open spot directly across from them. Before you can decide whether to sit or keep standing, Jungkook gestures subtly toward the available seat, his expression unreadable. You step forward hesitantly, only to realize he’s following right behind you.
Suddenly, you’re hyper-aware of his proximity. Fuck. Even though he isn’t sitting that close, the scent of his cologne – clean, warm, and annoyingly alluring – wraps around you like a second presence. Why does he always have to smell good? You try not to fidget as you glance back at Jimin.
Your best friend grins as he leans on his elbows, looking between you and Jungkook. “I’ve always wanted you two to meet, you know? This is perfect! I was trying to keep it a surprise.” 
“Oh, it’s a surprise alright.” you mutter, forcing a laugh. 
“Pleasantly surprised.” Jungkook adds, his tone light, though the way his lips quirked upward makes your heart race.
Jimin laughs and there’s a tinge of evilness to it, and you know full well he did this intentionally.  Why, you don’t even know. He’s just like that for no reason. You’re gonna kill him. 
“You’re still staying at Hannam, right, Jungkook?” Jimin asks suddenly.
You freeze on the spot, and you hope no one notices.
Jungkook takes a moment before answering, his voice calm and casual. “Yes, still there. Why?” 
Wait… what?
Jimin nods. “Surprised you’re managing there. Thought you wouldn’t last a month.” 
Namjoon laughs. “Yeah, Yoongi hates that place.”
Beside you, Jungkook lets out a soft laugh. “Nah, it’s fine for now.”
You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, trying not to let your surprise show. He’s lying – and you know you told him straight up to not tell Jimin about you two knowing each other yet, but you didn’t know he’d make good on his promise. It’s a small thing, but it makes your chest tighten in ways you’re not ready to unpack.
Surprisingly, the conversation starts to flow easily among the four of you. Jungkook asks Namjoon about his work in Italy, and at first, you find it hard to engage in it casually because you can’t shrug off the fact that you’re in such a casual setting with your co-worker– and not just a regular co-worker at that, but an executive at your company; but the relaxed atmosphere starts to chip away at your tension. Jimin cracks a joke, breaking any unease, and soon you’re laughing along, listening as he shares his own experiences in Italy as well. Jungkook jumps in with his own joke you can’t even recall now, and the sound of his laugh is infectious enough to make you smile.
Switching between fruit punch and water helps ease the lingering buzz of tequila in your system, though it doesn’t fully clear your head.
“Fuck,” Jimin suddenly hisses, grabbing everyone’s reaction. “Need to go to the bathroom.”
The words feel like confetti in your ears; the sun is up again, and the gates of heaven open upon you.
“I’ll come with you!” You blurt out, sounding overly enthusiastic. You feel the stares of Jungkook and Namjoon but you choose to ignore them, focusing on Jimin instead. 
Your best friend sends you a suspicious look, but after a pointed stare and a forced smile on your end, he relents. “Alright.” 
When you stand up, you make a misstep and you stumble a little on your feet. 
Concerned sounds erupt from both Namjoon and Jimin, but before they can do anything, an arm shoots up around your waist, with another one wrapping around your wrist to steady you. 
It’s Jungkook. The warmth that suddenly surrounds your skin is Jungkook – seated by the edge of the same couch you’re on, he managed to quickly catch you mid-fall.
“Here.” He murmurs, almost a whisper, helping you stand up straight. 
You blink, stunned at the warmth that envelopes you at that moment.
“T-thanks.” you stammer when he lets go, the sudden absence of his touch leaving your skin colder than you expected. You shake off the feeling, glancing at Namjoon and Jimin to gauge their reactions, but they just look like usual when they see you’re okay. 
“It’s fine,” Jungkook smiles gently, sipping from his drink. A non-alcoholic beer, you suppose. He gestures to the cleared space in front of him, and you awkwardly stand up, taking a few steps while trying not to graze him. He’s polite enough to avert his gaze, sparing you further embarrassment when you quite literally have the front of your body going all up on his face while you maneuver past the table. 
“Careful next time!” Jimin teases lightheartedly, interlocking his arms around you when you get near him. “We’ll be right back.” he adds, glancing at the guys as you both walk away.
Once you’re out of earshot, you pull Jimin at a corner and grab his arm tightly.  “Oh my god, Jimin,” You start, looking around one more time. “That was my freaking boss!” 
As if not understanding the weight of the situation, Jimin rolls his eyes. “He’s not your boss, he’s just some guy.” 
“Some guy who happens to be an executive at the company I work in? This is the most awkward night of my life!” 
“Babe, I know that. But just try not to think so much about it. It’s just Jungkook – we’re all out here as friends. You and he didn’t meet here as coworkers or whatever. It’s not a big deal.”
“To you , but to me this is just… not…” you trail off, fishing for the right word. “.... appropriate.” 
A groan escapes Jimin’s mouth at that, and you know your wording was a bit exaggerated but you can’t help it. This whole thing is insane. You can’t believe you’re meeting and you’re hanging out with Jungkook in the presence of his cousin who also happens to be your best friend. 
“Okay, you know what? Try to think about it like this: that guy right there–” he points to the general direction of your table, then looks at you seriously in the eyes. “That’s not your interim CTO. That’s just a guy I grew up with very closely who I used to order around when he was a baby.” 
“Jimin.” you roll your eyes at him.
He insists. “No, really, that’s true! Just think of him as some sort of friend, please? I’ve been really wanting for you guys to meet and anyway, it seems like you like him and he likes you! Why worry about anything?” He takes your wrists and gives you the best puppy eyes ever he always sports when he wants something, and this time you let out a defeated sigh.
Thinking of Jungkook as Jimin’s younger cousin does help put things into perspective– it’s a bit of mental gymnastics, sure, but it works. Suddenly, the idea of meeting him in a nightclub doesn’t seem so strange. And you really do appreciate Jimin’s excitement about your meeting. After all, as he put it, having his Favorite Person On Earth (which, according to a very reliable source: you) and his Favorite Cousin meet is a big deal for him.  
“Okay, fine. But just know if this happens to you – like imagine meeting up with Ms. Lim at a nightclub – I’ll be laughing at your damn face.” 
Jimin snickers a laugh, and you both continue your way to the restroom. 
“But you know what I think?” he suddenly says, breaking the silence.
You raise a brow at him in curiosity. “What?”
He grins mischievously. “What you said earlier – it’s inappropriate but hear me out. Jungkook is exactly your type.”
“Excuse me, what? ”
“No, okay, listen!” He raises his palms as if to plead his case and begins listing every trait that apparently aligns Jungkook with your type. “He’s a tech guy. He would usually wear glasses – and don’t even try to deny again that you don’t have a thing for it, girl – and he’s objectively attractive, as far as straight men go.” 
With every word, your jaw drops a little more.
“What are you even talking about?” You ask, utterly dumbfounded.
Jimin squints at you, feigning suspicion. “He has my genes, __, you don’t think he’s attractive?” 
“First off,” you start, rolling your eyes, “that would mean I find you attractive, which is gross and absolutely not true. You’re like my brother,” Jimin only laughs, clearly entertained, so you double down. “Second I don’t exclusively date tech guys, okay? Jesus Christ. And I definitely don’t have a thing for men in eyeglasses. What is wrong with you.” 
Jimin just stands there, squinting his eyes more at you with that infuriatingly inquisitive expression. You do your best to hold a neutral face under his scrutiny.
“You got that pondering look,” Jimin concludes with a victorious smirk. “You’re totally thinking about it!”  
You gasp, scandalized. “You’re unbelievable, Jimin. That’s your cousin and my boss!–”
He bursts out into laughter. “I’d say something about how defensive you’re getting, but I’m too drunk and really need to pee.”
You swat at his arm, following his steps anyway. “You’re such a bitch sometimes, you know that?” 
Your best friend throws you a teasing glance. “For the record, Jungkook’s only thirty. Not that old, in case you were wondering.”
“Oh my god, for the last time, I am not thinking about your cousin!” You swear you’re gonna kill him, and then yourself. 
“Boohoo. What, you can’t date your friend’s relatives?” Jimin muses with a teasing tone.
“Yes, Jimin, it’s called boundaries,” you snap. Jimin still wouldn’t drop the malicious gaze, making you groan. Just how far is the restroom here? “Seriously, that’s completely unethical. I would never date any relative of yours, let alone if they’re my boss.”
Jimin starts cackling, clearly enjoying how worked up you are. “ Unethical ? Come on, you’re gonna get punished for premarital sex, anyway. Might as well date your boss while you’re at it.”
You hate that he’s so damn funny, even when he’s being a complete pain. Despite yourself, you can’t help but laugh at his ridiculous retort.
“Fuck off. I hope your bladder explodes.” you mutter.
Jimin’s laughter echoes around you, but finally, the restroom comes into view.
“Relax,” he says between chuckles. “I’m only joking. Jungkook h—”
Before he can finish, someone barrels into you – quite hard that you almost fall on your feet.
Instinctively, you let out a hurried, “Oh! I’m so sorry—” 
“Watch where you’re fucking going, bitch.”
The words take a second to register. Your shoulder throbs where they collided with you, but before you can react, Jimin steps forward.
“Excuse me?” your best friend snaps, his tone sharp.
The stranger doesn’t miss a beat, sneering as he looks you up and down. His gaze lingers far too long on your chest, making your stomach churn. 
“I said what I said.” he replies, completely unapologetic.
“Hey, that’s not cool, man. Just apologize to her, you hit her pretty hard.” Jimin says, positioning himself slightly in front of you as though to shield you from the man.
“What are you, her boyfriend?” The man scoffs. “The little princess slut needs her knight and shining armor—” 
Your patience snaps. “What the hell did you just call me?” You demand, stepping around Jimin.
The man smirks and takes a step closer. “What are you gonna do about it, slut?”
Jimin grabs your arm, trying to hold you back.
“Back off, man. I’m calling security.”
The tension in the air crackles, and you can feel the adrenaline surging in your veins. “Let go, Jimin,” you mutter, pulling free from his grip. You take a step forward, looking the man dead in the eye. “You think I’m scared? You get all up in our personal space calling me names and you think we’ll run for our lives after, huh?”
You watch as the smugness gets wiped out of his face instantly. He doesn’t form a response right away, just gawks at you as if he can’t believe you’re facing him off. Your brows shoots up at him.
This is the problem with assholes. They think they can intimidate you, especially men, but when confronted, they go back to their shells looking dumb as fuck. 
“You slut. Do you know who I am?” The man raises his hand, shoving your shoulder hard enough to make you stagger.
At this point, you’re fuming. What the fuck is this guy’s problem? 
Before you can retaliate, Jimin lunges forward, pushing the man back, just as he forceful as he did to you. “Don’t fucking touch her!” Jimin yells, his voice rising above the growing murmur of the crowd. “This is straight-up harassment and you can fuck off when the security kicks you out of here. Fuckin’ pussy.” With that, Jimin tugs your arm, already turning on his heel to go to the opposite reaction, ready to leave. But all of a sudden, the other guy goes for a punch, and it lands right on Jimin’s cheek. 
You gasp audibly.
Onlookers get more intrigued, and you don’t have it in you to think straight when your brain decides to go in between two men fighting. In the hopes of getting Jimin out of the way, you step in only to get elbowed on the jaw by the stranger when your best friend swings at the guy back; your reflexes not fast enough to avoid it
You can’t focus on the pain when panic arises upon the growing scene before you.  
“Jimin, stop!” You exclaim, trying to grab the back of his shirt. But the stranger only retaliates, and the whole thing is starting to blow out of proportion. 
“Hey! What is going on here?” 
You whip around to see Namjoon striding toward the commotion, his expression a mix of concern and frustration. Relief floods through you as he reaches you just in time to pull Jimin away. Two security guards arrive on the scene, stepping between Jimin and the man to break up the fight.
“What is your problem, man?” Namjoon scowls at the guy, wrapping his arm around Jimin. You hurry to them and help him assist your best friend, holding his shoulder.  
“Ask him and that fucking girlfriend of his. It’s that bitch’s fault! Do you even fucking know who I am?” 
Your eyes widen at the accusation. 
You gape at him, incredulous. “Are you kidding me? You ran into me, started cussing me out, shoved me two times and punched my frie—” 
“Enough!” one of the security guards cuts in, his tone firm. He turns to the man. “Mr. Yang, please step aside so we can sort this out.”
Jungkook appears just then, his gaze scanning the scene with confusion. “What the hell happened here?”
“Jungkook.” you sigh at the sight of him, getting a second rush of relief upon seeing both him and Namjoon here.
Jungkook steps closer to you, looks at your state, and instinctively hovers an arm around your waist, concern growing on his face. “Are you okay?” 
“I’m fine,” you say quickly, glancing at Jimin. “But he’s not.”
“Jimin got into a fight,” Namjoon explains, his voice tight. “I’m taking him to the hospital. Can you handle this?”
Jimin groans in Namjoon’s arms. “Oh my god, Joon, I’m literally fine—” Jimin rolls his eyes when his boyfriend only looks at him with a deepened frown. 
Namjoon looks at Jungkook again. “Can you take care of this for me, Kook? I’ll drive both of us to a hospital nearby. __, I’ll take Jimin there first before driving you home. Is that okay?” 
Although not unusual, your eyes widen at the offer. You quickly shake your head to decline. 
“Oh, no. It’s fine. I’ll grab a taxi or something… just please take Jimin to the hospital first.” 
“Don’t be silly, it’s dangerous–” Before Jimin could say the words, Jungkook speaks.
“I’ll take her,” All three of you look at him and he doesn’t even faze. “I took my car and I didn’t drink tonight so I’m okay to drive. __, just tell me your address.” 
Your head shakes vehemently. You’ve already been a big nuisance thanks to that asshole back there who’s talking with security.
“It’s okay, Jungkook. I really don’t want to bother–” 
“It’s not safe for you to be alone right now, __,” he says with a frown, and he sounds so sincere that it makes you bite your lip to prevent saying any protest again. He does have a point. “Joon, you can go. We’ll talk it out with security in the meantime.” 
“Alright, thanks, man.” Namjoon pats his shoulder. “Take care of her, okay? She drank a lot.” He informs Jungkook who just nods. And then off they go after Namjoon talked for a while with the other security.
You want to face-palm yourself. 
Soon, a man in uniform approaches you and Jungkook. As if in reflex, Jungkook steps closer to you. 
“Mr. Yang said you said some – what he called, “abusive language” – to him, Miss. Is that true?” 
Your eyebrows crease in confusion as you look at “Mr. Yang” in disbelief. 
“No, I didn’t. He was the one who started calling me names and swung at my friend first.” You defend, upset.
The security just looks over at you impassively with an almost monotonous voice, as if talking to you is a nuisance and taking too much of his time. “He said your friend threw the first punch. Mr. Yang is a valued customer—” 
“I’m sorry, but aren’t I and my friend customers too? We–”
“There’s no going around it, miss. Your friend started a fight and you initiated a commotion which is prohibited in this place, especially in the VIP area. Mr. Yang is currently talking to his lawyers to press charges against you and your friend.” 
Press what now?
“Press charges?” Jungkook can’t help but butt in. He changes his stance beside you and you see exactly how the security backs off a little, the boredom on his face while talking to you seconds ago slipping when Jungkook continues to say, “Did you hear what she said? Mr. Yang started the fight with verbal intimidation and made it physical. The other guy, her friend, just retaliated. How are you purposefully glossing over that detail?”
“Sir, Mr. Yang just told the story–” 
“You mean his side of the story. Aren’t you supposed to ensure everyone’s safety here? Or does being a valued customer excuse harassment and violence?”
The security completely falters under Jungkook’s stare and words.
And you grow livid. 
“Excuse me, sir,” You start, stepping out to get closer to him. You keep your voice leveled when you speak further, “I’m gonna tell you this more time. He, Mr. Yan or whatever his name is, started the whole thing. He bumped into me hard and I have the shoulder pain to prove you that. I said sorry, even though he should’ve said it too, but then he didn’t and started to cuss me out instead and called me names . My friend stepped in because he was trying to intimidate me physically and verbally. He threw the first punch, and my friend just retaliated,” you said with conviction, not shaking even once. When the security opens his mouth to say something, you beat him to it. “And tell your valued customer that if he wants to press charges, I’ll be speaking to my lawyer, too. And I’ll be filing a complaint against this establishment for failing to handle the situation appropriately.”
You don’t look back as you turn on your heel and head straight to your table. Jungkook’s footsteps follow closely behind, and you hear him call your name, but you don’t acknowledge it. Instead, you grab your purse and head toward the stairs leading to the ground floor, your mind set on leaving.
It’s been a long time since you felt so blatantly underestimated by a man. It happens at work occasionally, but having a woman supervisor helps that situation a bit. Still, though, you can’t help but be bitter whenever it happens. No matter how vocal you are, no matter how often you advocate for yourself, there’s a grim inevitability to it. They’ll still see you as less, as though your words carry less weight, your stance holds less power.
The thought burns at you, frustration rising like a heat wave under your skin, and there’s a dull sense of helplessness that settles heavily in your chest.
“__, hey. Stop walking so fast.” You hear Jungkook say behind you but despite his words, he still manages to catch up. 
“You can go, Jungkook. I’m calling a taxi.” You say, voice leveled. You know it’s irrational but you can’t get out of your head the image of the security backing off when Jungkook began speaking to him. As if his opinion matters more than yours. The anger is misplaced, you know, but you just need a little bit of space. 
“I told Jimin I’ll take you home, so I’ll take you home.” Jungkook insists and his voice is firm as well, but there’s softness around the edges. You feel it in the way he gently takes ahold of your wrist to halt you from walking. At this point, you’re already outside the establishment. 
“I don’t want your help.” 
He physically recoils, and you feel instantly bad just right after you say it.
Okay, maybe that was too much of an overreaction. 
Still, though, while Jungkook lets go of your hand, he doesn’t relent. 
“I’m not trying to be insistent for no reason, __. I want to take you home because you’re drunk and I don’t know if you’re safe especially when a guy just harassed you back there.” 
Pressing your lips into a thin line, you turn your gaze away, feeling the telltale tremble in your body that comes right before tears. Your eyes sting faintly at the corners, but you force a sharp, steady breath into your lungs. As much as it stings to admit it, Jungkook has a point.
You’re surprised you’ve managed this far with your mind clouded by too much tequila. And while you keep telling yourself you’re not afraid of that jerk back there, the thought of walking out alone at this hour leaves a knot of unease in your chest.
Turning on your heel, you avoid Jungkook’s eyes when you look at his general direction and say, “Okay.” 
“Okay,” he repeats, gauging your face. “My car is right there.” He says, pointing toward the opposite direction. 
The walk to the parking lot is quiet and tense, so to speak. You avoid walking beside Jungkook and he may have understood that you want space in the meantime, as he lets himself walk ahead of you, only looking back occasionally to check if you’re still following. 
When you get inside the car, Jungkook begins the engine as soon as you both settle yourselves in your seats.
“I’m sorry.” He suddenly says in the middle of the road. 
You look at him, eyebrows furrowed. “For what?” 
“I’m just sorry.” 
You let out a sigh.
He’s just trying to be there for you, for some reason. He doesn’t need to, but somehow he does.
You look away, fixing your gaze at the scene on the window pane. “I’m just… I just feel angry. That asshole was calling me all sorts of uninspired, misogynistic names and even pushed me twice. And then the security came to me with that bored expression and impassive tone telling me all about that guy pressing charges, not even bothering to hear me out, completely negating me, then you stepped in and suddenly he’s scared? Apparently, your words matter more than mine, and all because I don’t have a fucking penis. How fucking stupid,” You say in one breathing frustration reeking. You take a sharp breath again and massage your temple. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean– it’s not your fault, Jungkook. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I’m… being mean and taking everything out on you. I just… the whole thing was just really fucked up and men irritate me.” 
Jungkook glances at you and back at the road again. “I… understand. I’m still sorry for stepping in. I didn’t mean for it to look like I was… doing things for you. I was just really surprised when he said the guy is pressing charges.” 
You throw your head back on the seat. “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t… think you were trying to be a hero or anything. It’s just really annoying when men only listen to men. It’s fucked up.” 
He hums. “Do you wanna press charges? You can also file a lawsuit. You could.”
“A lawsuit? We’re gonna end up in civil court and I’m most probably going to lose. When I said earlier I’m talking to my lawyers, that means all the law students I barely know of in my department,” you think that was funny, but Jungkook just looks at you for awhile with furrowed brows.
Okay, well, no that was not really funny. It was quite depressing.
“If you want, and I don’t want you to take this the wrong way– I can help you with it. Get you a lawyer or something. He also assaulted Jimin, so you definitely have a case.” Jungkook says as if he’s offering you some street food along a store you passed by randomly. You notice the caution in his voice though, the way he worded his suggestion, completely putting it out as if it’s up to your choice. 
You appreciate that. You don’t like it when people step in for you, fight your battles for you . You have a backbone of your own and you can defend yourself in most circumstances – and you believe Jungkook’s pure intentions of just… offering some kind of… genuine help. Because he’s your friend and you would do this to a friend as well.
It’s not charity, you tell yourself.   
“Thanks… I’ll tell you when… I want it.” You offer him a small smile. 
“You sure?” You nod your head. Jungkook doesn’t look like he’s entirely convinced, but he drops the subject anyway. “Alright.” 
The car ride was as quiet as it could be, and the stillness of dawn makes you think about the turn of events earlier. It wasn’t ideal, the way everything turned out. You don’t feel any ounce of remorse about what you said to that asshole because he deserved it for being a dick unprovoked, but too much alcohol clouded your judgment and you and Jimin could’ve acted… entirely differently in the situation.
As you rest your head on the window again, you feel a pang of regret. 
It’s always so… hard to deal with the consequences of your actions. There’s a part of you who wishes you didn’t throw more wood into the flame leading to the fight. Some part is guilty of bringing Jimin into a physical fight. Then, there’s embarrassment. 
You’re not a violent person and you try to stray away from violence overall if you can help it. While Jimin has always been protective over you especially when you go out at night for obvious reasons, you rarely get into physical fights. It didn’t help that Namjoon was there, too. As well as Jungkook. The two knew you both drank a lot, especially you. Jungkook was there beside you when you were flatly getting negated by the security, getting threatened by pressed charges for being unruly. 
It was embarrassing. And even more so when you snapped at him moments ago, despite him doing nothing wrong.
You feel like absolute shit. 
“Sorry you had to deal with… all of that.” You murmur, swallowing the lump in your throat.
Jungkook’s voice, laced with genuine confusion, cuts through your thoughts. “What?”
“For everything, I guess,” you continue, forcing a smile that feels off. “Bet you didn’t expect to drive a drunk woman home after she and her best friend got into a fight.” It sounds like a joke, but it’s a hollow one. Every moment with him tonight feels like you’ve just embarrassed yourself over and over.
You hadn’t realized how close you were to your complex until Jungkook suddenly stopped in the familiar parking lot. You’re about to unbuckle your seatbelt, but your head’s a little dizzy, and you fumble with it a little. Just as you start to move again, Jungkook speaks.
“I don’t mind doing anything for you, __. I hope you know that by now.”
The words stop you mid-motion, and you glance up at him, regretting it immediately. His gaze is intense, and no matter how much you will yourself to look away, you can’t. He lowers his eyes to your hands before leaning in slightly, unbuckling your seatbelt from your waist down with ease. His scent fills the air, making your breath catch in the briefest of moments. “Wait for me.”
You’re a little confused but stay still as Jungkook gets out of the car and walks around. When he opens the passenger door, he offers you his hand. “Can you walk just fine?
You don’t know how you manage to form an answer somehow. “I– yeah. Sure,” you stand up from your seat and get out of his car, but despite your words, you feel the gentle pressure of Jungkook’s hand on your lower back, guiding you. Nibbling on your bottom lip, you mumble a soft, “Thanks.” 
He hums in response. 
The walk to your apartment isn’t long, but it felt like it dragged on forever with Jungkook so close by your side. The chilly air didn’t help either when you’re not exactly dressed for it. When a gust of strong wind blew, you felt yourself shiver, and Jungkook must have noticed because, without a second thought, his arm moved closer, closing the hairsbreadth gap of his skin and yours, now wrapping around your waist to shield you from the cold. 
You didn’t expect it, and neither did he. 
He makes a move to pull away, about to put distance between you, but when you glance at him, maybe with a hint of alarm or desperation, he seems to understand. Jungkook keeps his arm around you as you both continue walking.
Did your face scream “Please don’t take your hands off me” ? Because even now, as you’ve arrived at your apartment, taking the steps towards your apartment units, he still doesn’t let go.
Even when you reach your porch, his arm is still there, holding you close.
“We’re here,” you say to break the silence. You look up at him, and you spent the entirety of the last five minutes or so trying to avoid looking in his direction that you just now discovered he’s been sporting an easy-going look on his face, as if the whole thing is as… natural as it gets. “T-thanks for driving me home, Jungkook.”
He nods, “You’re welcome.” 
You take a step back, and just as the distance grows between you, you feel a strange hesitation, as though part of you doesn’t want the moment to end. Jungkook’s hand lingers for a second longer on your back, like he doesn’t want to let go either.
You give him a small, reluctant smile, and he returns it just as gently, looking so serene with his casual fit and his soft hair, hands now buried in the pockets of his jeans. His presence feels magnetic like neither of you is ready to say goodbye yet.
“Good night,” you say, giving a timid wave.
“Sweet dreams, __.” He smiles, and the sound of his chuckle makes your heart flutter. It’s so light, so easy – like everything feels right in this moment. Like everything that happened earlier was merely not part of reality. He makes you feel so… safe and warm. 
God, have you seriously deluded yourself into thinking you didn’t like this man in a very non-platonic way? 
You turn, about to reach for your keys, but then you hear his voice again, calling your name. You almost spin around too quickly, feeling a bit embarrassed by the sudden motion.
It’s like you were completely expecting him to just call you.
Your eyes meet his in a gentle stare, his voice soft and warm like honey when he asks, “Can I come inside?”
Jungkook asks, letting the words slip out before he can second-guess them. He’s been bothered since the car ride – by the way your jaw flexed, the way your fingers kept pressing into your shoulder like it ached. You never said anything, of course. You wouldn’t. 
Of course you wouldn’t. Jungkook knows by now that you don’t particularly like it when you’re being… doted on.
But still. It’s late – around 3 a.m. and creeping into morning – and he doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep knowing you’re the least bit comfortable.
He just wants to know if you’re okay.
You open your mouth to speak, but then suddenly, a clink echoes in the quiet of the dawn over the complex.
“Wha– aw!” You wince as your keys slip through your fingers, landing directly on your foot with a dull thud.
“Hey,” Jungkook automatically sinks down on one knee to pick up the keys, arm shooting right up around your waist to keep you grounded when he saw you were about to trip. His brows knit together as he looks up at you, wincing in discomfort. “You okay?” 
You lift your foot slightly, balancing yourself against his shoulder. “Yeah, I’m fine— just buzzed. Sorry,” you mumble, but the words slur together. Jungkook had noticed you’d been drinking way before he arrived at the club, but now he realizes just how hard you’d been fighting off the dizziness. “I need to get out of these shoes.”
Jungkook stands back up on his feet, handing you the keys. He stays close, keeping his arm around you, hovering just enough to catch you if you fall out of balance again. 
He watches as you try to unlock the door, but your fingers fumble over the keys, switching between them absentmindedly. With each failed attempt, your frustration grows, your huffs becoming more pronounced. Jungkook waits patiently, standing beside you, until he hears it—
A sob. 
“I’m sorry,” your voice trembles. “I–I can’t find my keys,” you try to get the words out in between your silent cry, and Jungkook is so surprised to see the tears dropping down your cheeks that he doesn’t fully process the whole thing together. “And— and my jaw and my shoulder and my toes hurt. And I’m drunk. I don’t know. I’m really—” you’re interrupted by another snob, so you quickly wipe away at your eyes, turning away from Jungkook. “I’m really drunk.” 
Jungkook gently calls your name, and he doesn’t know what comes over him. It almost felt like reflex when he reached for your face, cupping your cheeks; your tears wetting the palm of his hands. Jungkook catches them with his thumbs before more of them even fall, your skin warm beneath his touch. When you look up at him, your glassy eyes reflect the soft glow of the streetlights, and you look so heartbreakingly sad that Jungkook feels an almost physical pain to his gut. 
“It’s okay,” he murmurs. “Let’s get you inside, yeah? I’ll take care of the rest. Do you want me to do it for you?” He doesn’t expect it, but you nod your head, quietly sniffing when Jungkook continues to wipe your tears with his thumbs, soothing you in the best possible way he knows he can. 
You hand him the keys, and his fingers linger against your cheek just a second longer before he turns to the door, finding the right key with ease. He doesn’t say anything about your tears, doesn’t press you to explain. You wouldn’t want to tell him things right now, not when you’re obviously feeling quite… vulnerable. He doesn’t know if it’s just all your mixed up feelings dwindling down into sadness – because you did go through a lot tonight. 
Jungkook has never seen you cry before, but when he saw the tears falling from your eyes, it left a dull ache that settled deep within his chest. You’re always so full of life, so quick to smile, to joke, to fill the space around you with something bright and wonderful. Seeing you like this, shaken and unguarded, stirs something deep in him. Something instinctive.
So he knows by now you don’t like getting taken care of, in a way, but Jungkook lets himself act on the want  and need to do it, anyway. Even if you pull back away from him again the next day. At least he gets to be sure you’re okay. 
He unlocks the door and looks back at you.
“Thank you, Jungkook.” Your voice is steadier now, in Jungkook’s relief, but your tear-streaked cheeks still twist something inside him.
“It’s fine,” Jungkook says softly and keeps a careful arm around your waist when you push open the door, seeing that you’re still walking a little wobbly. He watches you closely, especially your shoulders and face. “Your body still hurts?”
You give him a small, tired smile. “Uhm, I think it’ll go away soon. But I need to ice my jaw.”
When you cross over the threshold, you pause, hesitating.
Jungkook was just about to ask you if you really want to let him in because you didn’t explicitly say he could – but when you turn back to look at him, your eyes are clouded with worry. “Please don’t judge me if my place is messy and if I pass out because again, I’m really drunk. It’s not super obvious right now but I already cried in front of you for no particular reason and I’m embarrassed about that so if you want to, you can totally just leave and I won’t bother you ever again. I’m sorry that you had to do all this. This all seems like a huge bother and I’m taking so much of your time—”
Jungkook blinks.
“__.” 
The way you jumped from one thing to another, the way your eyes darted everywhere but his – it’s a dead giveaway. Drunk you is a whole rollercoaster, and Jungkook doesn’t even try to fight the small, exasperated smile tugging at his lips.
God, he just… he just wants to hold you through it all.
“It’s okay,” his voice is warm. “Don’t be sorry, hm?” 
You bite your lip and it takes you a while to respond before you say, “... Okay.” 
The living room welcomes you both and Jungkook takes a quick look, smiling at the sight.
“You have a nice place.” 
“I know,” your voice is thick with the remnants of the night, your steps slightly uneven as you move towards the couch. “It was even nicer before, but they had to repair it a week ago because of the…” you trail off, distracted, your fingers fumbling with the strap of your heel as you settle down.  
Jungkook nods understandingly, quietly watching. He sees you maneuvering your legs to better see your shoes, and the action makes your skirt ride up, catching his attention for a split second. He decides to redirect his focus. 
“You have ice?”
“Freezer,” You murmur, lips pressed into a thin line and brows furrowed in frustration. You let out a small hiss when the strap doesn’t successfully come off your ankle. Jungkook can tell you’re distracted, even when you add, “Oh, you don’t have to ice me, by the way, I can just—” 
Before you can finish, Jungkook walks over to your direction. In one swift motion, he kneels before you, his hands effortlessly replacing yours. His fingers are warm as they brush against your ankle, and he feels your breath hitching when he unfastens the strap and slides your heels off.
“What did I say, __?” He keeps his voice quiet and firm, “I don’t mind doing things for you.” He gently sets both your feet down then places your shoes next to it neatly. “I know you don’t need my help. But just this one night, okay? Can you let me do that for you?”
The weight of his sincerity presses against your chest, rendering you momentarily speechless. His eyes hold something deep, something unspoken, something that makes warmth bloom low in your stomach.
You blink at him. 
“Oh. Uh… okay.” you breathe, looking up at him slowly as he rises to his feet. “Sorry.”
It sounds sheepish and Jungkook feels the sudden urge to… he doesn’t even know now. He’s never been in the position of feeling so many different things all at once. He felt a little piece of his heart get shattered when he saw you cry earlier but now it’s warm again at the sight of you so… soft. And kind of small. 
Jungkook exhales softly, the corner of his lips quirking as his palm finds your cheek. It was maybe some sort of self-indulgence when he leans down and strokes your skin, thumb tracing delicate circles. He watches as your lashes flutter under his touch. “No saying sorry. Let me take care of you.”
He lets go of you, a slight feeling of disappointment washing through him when he had to break away from the physical contact, but your body hurts and he wants to help soothe it a little bit. 
Moving toward the kitchen, he doesn’t take too long going through your freezer and returns back shortly with an ice bag and a glass of water in hand. He offers the latter first, waiting patiently as you drink before settling beside you on the couch.
“Where does it hurt?” Jungkook asks. You move a little to the side to give him room, and he doesn’t really think too much about it when he drapes his free arm around the backrest of the couch, unconsciously crowding you in.
“H-here.” You tilt your face slightly, pointing to the right side of your jaw. Jungkook hums in acknowledgment before pressing the ice against your skin with meticulous care. You flinch at the initial cold, and he murmurs a soft apology, adjusting his touch until the chill soothes rather than shocks.
“Thank you,” you whisper.
The silence between you lingers, but it isn’t awkward – it’s something softer, something unspoken that settles comfortably between you both. And it gives Jungkook the perfect excuse to take you in wholly.
From this proximity, every delicate feature of yours demands his attention. The way your long lashes flutter under the glow of the fluorescent light, casting faint shadows against your flushed cheeks. He notices the subtle scatter of glitter on your skin, remnants of your makeup catching the light just right, making you look like you’re glowing – no, like you’re shining. Ethereal.
Then, his gaze traces the gentle slope of your nose, following its path down to the perfect dip of your cupid’s bow – sharp, delicate, almost frustratingly beautiful. And then, of course, there’s your mouth. Jungkook has always been drawn to it. The soft, glossy curve of your lips, the way they pout ever so slightly even when you aren’t speaking. They look inviting, almost begging to be kissed, and for a brief, reckless second, he wonders what it would be like to be the one to answer that silent call.
God, you’re so pretty. It almost hurts.
Jungkook swallows hard. He shouldn’t be thinking about that. Not now.
“Jimin tells me I’m either an annoying or quiet drunk,” you suddenly say, snapping Jungkook out of his trance. “I think I’m being a little bit of both tonight.” 
He finds himself chuckling at your words. “I’m alright with both.” 
You let out a quiet huff, and he readjusts the ice, noticing the slight tension in your shoulders.
“Your shoulder still hurts?” Jungkook asks, his fingers hovering just above your bare skin.
You nod, and when he gestures to the ice bag, you take it without hesitation, pressing it back to your jaw. There's a quiet curiosity in your eyes as you glance at him, but you don’t say anything. Jungkook shifts beside you, sitting more upright.
“Lean in for me,” you scoot closer. Jungkook guides you against him, settling you between his arms. You’re unusually quiet, pliant in a way that makes something stir in his chest. “This okay?” he murmurs into your hair, trying – failing – not to focus on the warmth of you against him, or the way your scent lingers in the air between you.
You hum in response, a soft, content sound.
Jungkook smiles against your head.
”Let me know if this hurts or not, alright?” You nod against him, and Jungkook lets his fingers trace over the curve of your shoulder, searching for the tension. The neckline of your top makes it easy for his hand to settle against your skin. “Here?” he murmurs, pressing gently.
The soft gasp you let out catches him off guard. It’s barely a sound, but he feels it – feels the way your body reacts beneath his touch. His breath hitches for just a second before he swallows, grounding himself.
“There,” You sigh softly. Jungkook watches as you close your eyes, indulging in the feeling of him hitting the right spot. 
He watches, almost entranced, as your face softens with relief.
Massaging sore muscles is nothing new to him – he’s done it for himself countless times after boxing, approaching it with the same methodical precision every time. But this? This feels different. The quiet sounds you make, the way you lean into his touch, like it’s the most natural thing in the world – he has a feeling they’ll linger in his mind far longer than they should.
He steadies his voice. “No swelling or bruising, so that’s good,” he murmurs, fingers working over your shoulder, relieved to find that himself.
You may not have wanted his help tonight, but Jungkook can’t shake the thought that the stranger at the bar deserves consequences. Maybe he should talk to Jimin about it.
He files the thought away – until your voice pulls him back.
“Where’d you learn this?” you ask, your tone lighter now. “It feels good. And I think you’re actually making me feel better.”
Then you grin at him – soft, a little dazed – and Jungkook just melts.
How you always get him to feel twenty emotions at once. 
“I box sometimes. My trainer taught me this.” Jungkook tells you, something he realized he hasn’t shared with you yet. Which he loves doing. 
“Oh. You box?” You inquire, craning your neck to look at him with curious eyes. 
Jungkook smiles down at you and nods. “Sometimes. It’s just a little hobby I picked up a while ago.” 
“Ohhh. That’s really cool.” Then you yawn, shifting even closer. “I envy people like you. I ran a 5k once and couldn’t move for two days.”
“I like moving,” Jungkook responds truthfully. Absent-mindedly, he also lets himself fall back on the couch until you’re both very lax against the sofa. “I sit a lot with my job. So I feel the need to balance it out.”
“I guess that makes—” It’s drowned with another yawn. Jungkook looks down at you as you curl up against him. “Sorry.” You smile at him, prompting Jungkook to chuckle before taking the ice bag from your hand. His hand travels from your shoulder to your waist as he stretches his other hand out to place the bag on the coffee table across from you.
“You’re sleepy.” 
“I’m so drunk.” 
“You’re a sleepy drunk,” Jungkook grins when you don’t argue. “Your shoulder okay now?” 
You jut your bottom lip out. “I think you need to massage it a little bit more…” 
Jungkook takes note of the playful tone lacing your words, finding himself chuckling at the thought of you just liking the massage. He doesn’t really mind.
“Alright. But don’t sleep on me just yet.” Jungkook says, resuming his rubbing on your shoulder joint. He knows that soon, you have to change out of your clothes, remove your make-up, whatever women do before going to bed. 
“I know…” you trail off.
As minutes pass, Jungkook forgets all about the massage, his hands alternating between gentle caresses and light squeezes over your shoulder. His touch grows slower, more absentminded, and at some point, he realizes the weight against his chest has shifted— you’ve fallen asleep on him.
He stills for a moment, absorbing the warmth of you pressed against him. It’s… nice. More than nice. A quiet contentment settles over him as he carefully brushes his fingers through your hair. When a few strands fall across your face, he instinctively tucks them away, only for you to stir slightly at the movement. Jungkook freezes, but instead of waking, you burrow deeper into him, your face pressing against his chest, your breath warm through the fabric of his shirt.
A small smile tugs at his lips. He takes a moment just to look at you – your peaceful expression, the way your lips part slightly in sleep, the soft rise and fall of your breathing. You’re not new to falling asleep on him; it happened just last week at his place. And just like then, he thinks you look impossibly adorable. Mostly pretty. Even prettier now. He isn’t sure how that’s possible, but somehow, you make it look effortless.
Jungkook exhales, shaking his head lightly. You have no idea, do you?
He lingers a second longer before deciding he should move you somewhere more comfortable. He doubts you’d want to wake up on the couch, still in your clothes from the club, make-up untouched. You didn’t exactly give him permission to enter your bedroom, but he figures you’d prefer that over being left out here without a blanket.
Carefully, he lifts you into his arms, cradling you effortlessly as he navigates your apartment. The layout is similar to his, but everything feels distinctly you – cozy, warm, lived-in. He nudges your bedroom door open with his foot, relieved to find it unlocked, and gently lays you down on the soft mattress. He debates for a second whether he should help you change into something more comfortable but quickly dismisses the thought. Boundaries.
Instead, he simply pulls the green comforter over you, tucking you in with quiet care. He’s just about to step back when you shift slightly, a small murmur escaping your lips.
“Kook?”
Your voice is faint, laced with sleep, and Jungkook immediately moves closer, sitting at the edge of your bed. He doesn’t expect it when your hand reaches out, fingers grazing his cheek before resting there, your touch warm and featherlight.
“Are you real?” you ask, voice barely above a whisper, dazed and dreamy.
Jungkook’s heart stumbles. He swallows, then gently takes your hand in his, pressing it against his skin. “I am.”
You hum in satisfaction. “Good.” Then, in a move that completely disarms him, you squeeze his jaw slightly, fingertips lingering in something almost like admiration. Your gaze, still hazy with sleep, flickers over his features before you breathe, awed, “You’re so pretty… how?”
Jungkook exhales a quiet laugh, shaking his head at your sleepy honesty. Because this isn’t the first time. You’d said the same thing that night at his place, too.
Does that mean you really think so? Or is it just a drunken habit of yours?
But none of that really matters when he finds himself murmuring, with quiet certainty, “You don’t know how it feels looking at you, __.”
There’s no response, and when Jungkook glances down, he realizes you’ve already drifted back into sleep. He stays there just a moment longer, taking in the peaceful sight of you, the way the dim light makes your features look even softer.
You look like a dream. And Jungkook isn’t sure if he ever wants to wake up from this.
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There’s a thundering ache in your head when you start gaining consciousness after you wake up, eyes squinting at the light coming through the windows. 
You pat around for your phone and turn it on when you find it somewhere nestled between the tangled sheets, seeing Jimin’s texts on the lockscreen. 
cuntress #1 [8:00am]: did u get home safe cuntress #1 [8:05am]: i got discharged from the hospital btw joon was just being dramatic i only got cuts  cuntress #1 [3:10pm]: i trust that jungkook drove u home well and alive but if u dont respond in the next 30mins i’ll send a raid team
“Jesus,” you said after reading Jimin’s last text. You glance at the time and see it’s 3:20pm. “Fuck.” Slapping a hand on your forehead, you realize just how much you slept. 
Before agonizing over that, you reply to Jimin first before he actually sends a raid team. You don’t ever know when he’s serious.
You [3:21pm]: dont send a raid team what the fuck
You open the camera app to snap a picture of yourself, but you nearly doubled over when you saw your reflection. That’s why your face felt so sticky, because you still have your make-up and clothes on from last night. 
You groan but take a quick picture to send Jimin anyway. 
Throwing away your phone on the mattress, you throw your feet over the floor to initially go straight to the bathroom, but then your eyes catch sight of the glass of water with a pill of Advil beside it. 
Oh. 
Ohhh. Right. Jungkook was here last night… he asked if he could come inside your apartment and you must’ve said yes because you can remember him sitting on your couch, icing your jaw, then massaging your pained shoulder for a little while before… 
That’s when your memory doesn’t serve you well. 
You don’t know how you got into this bed at all. 
You take the glass of water and Advil, anyway, popping the pill into your mouth and drinking. You were just standing up when your doorbell rings. 
Confused, you wonder who it might be. You aren’t expecting any visitors, that’s for sure. But then you remember Jimin’s words and suddenly grow nervous that he might have actually had a raid team come your way. Whatever the hell that meant.
As you step in front of your door, you hesitantly twist it open, only to be met with none other than… Jungkook. 
“Thank god,” you let out a sigh of relief. Jungkook raises a brow, rightfully confused. You give him a dismissive wave. “I thought you were Jimin’s raid team.” 
“A what?” Jungkook asks, obviously baffled. 
“Don’t worry about it,” you say as you take a look at him. He’s in his white button down minus the tie and trousers. It’s funny though because he’s wearing his sliders… so you assume he probably just got back home from the office. It’s only then that you notice the pot in between his hands. “What’s that?” 
Jungkook glances down. “Porridge. Thought it’d help with the hangover.” 
Your eyes widen at the mention.
“Oh, that’s really thoughtful. You didn’t have to…” you trail off but Jungkook only smiles and extends it to you.
When you take it in your hands, Jungkook says, “It’s still hot, so be careful.” 
What you wanted to ask was if he cooked it himself – which looked like he did, but what came out was: “You just, uh, got back from the office?”
He nods.
Then, you stand there for awhile, finding yourself a little awkward just waiting for the other to say something until you both speak at the same time. 
“I’ll get going, then—”
“Do you want to come in—”
You both stop speaking, looking at each other in surprise until Jungkook chuckles. 
“You were saying?” He asks.
You shake your head. “I asked if you wanted to come inside but you must be busy. Thank you for the porridge, though. I really appreciate it.” 
“I’m not doing a lot today,” Jungkook says with a dashing smile, inserting his hands in his pockets. “Are you inviting me over?” He adds with a teasing lilt to his voice.
You shy from his gaze. “If you want to… we can share?” You raise the pot in your hands, giving him a timid smile. 
“I’d love to.” 
Basically, it’s the second time Jungkook will be inside your home. But you weren’t completely sober a few hours ago when he did it for the first time, so technically, it did not count. Now that you’re free from the daze of alcohol, though, with a raging hangover as a testament to that, you’re nervous as you lead Jungkook along the way.
“You woke up just now?” Jungkook asks.
“Yeah…” You place the pot on the dining table and realize for the second time you’re still wearing the clothes from last night, probably looking like a mess right now. You’re thankful Jungkook doesn't mention it. You saw your smudged makeup earlier while taking a picture for Jimin, and you definitely don’t look your best. “Sorry, I just need to change out of these clothes first. Please sit here.” You gesture toward the chair you pulled out, which Jungkook gladly came towards. When he sits, you offer him a small smile before heading to your bedroom.
In swift motion, you strip yourself off the skimpy outfit you’ve been in since the last twelve hours or so, hastily removing your make-up with a quick wipe and rinse, pulling your hair in the neatest ponytail you can manage and finally change into the first decent shirt you find in your closet and paired it with some denim shorts.
When you return to the dining area, you see Jungkook setting down some bowls on the table. You head toward him, about to express your thanks, but he turns around and, with a slightly surprised tone, says, “You’re wearing my shirt.”
It doesn’t sound accusatory, in fact, Jungkook is smiling at you, eliciting a warm feeling within your chest. 
His words don’t register as quickly as they should have, but when you glance over at the shirt you’re wearing, it’s indeed his. It occurs to you it was the shirt he lent you awhile ago when you stayed over at his place. It must’ve ended in your bag when you were packing up for your return to your own place.
Heat rises to your cheeks as embarrassment sets in. You remember saying you’d return it ASAP, but here you are, casually wearing it at home. “Oh, I'm sorry. I didn’t even notice— I'll go change—”
“It’s fine, __. You can keep it, or not, if you don’t want to,” Jungkook muses. “You don’t have to change out of it.” 
His casual response only makes you feel more flustered under his gaze.
“... Thanks,” you manage to say. After a pregnant pause, you clear your throat and gesture at the food on the table. “Should we eat? Or… I mean, do you even want to eat right now? I know it’s only, like, three pm…”
“I didn’t eat for lunch, so this will do. I make a really good hangover porridge.” Jungkook says with a chuckle. 
“I can’t thank you enough.” 
Jungkook hums softly, and a comfortable silence settles between you as the sound of your spoons clinking against the glassware fills the air. After your first bite, you can't help but compliment him on the porridge – it’s definitely the best hangover cure you’ve ever had. You can't help but think that he's just good at everything, like always.
It’s as if he doesn’t not know how to do something. You almost fear he's getting close to being perfect, and what’s even more surprising is that he does all of this for you without you ever having to ask. And when you mention it, he acts like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
And that kind of freaks you out.
But, at the same time, it also makes you feel guilty.
“I’m really sorry about last night…” you start. You don’t remember every detail, of course, but you can vaguely remember the fight that broke out and how Namjoon had to interfere with the security. And because you were drunk, Jungkook had to drive you home and take you inside your own home because you probably were so wasted. It’s not your proudest moment, and the apology is something from your heart when you continue, “Jimin and I pregamed at his place before we went to the club, so even before you came to our table we were already drunk off tequila that time. Not a good reason, of course. So I’m really sorry for causing you a lot of… inconvenience— anyway, did I uh— say or did something last night?” you turn meek under his gaze, nerves wracking. Jungkook’s brow shoots up, and when he doesn’t instantly say no, you sigh. “Oh my god, I did.” 
“No, you didn’t,” Jungkook quickly denies, interrupting the impending spiraling thoughts in your head. The only vivid pictures in your head right now were the events in the club, even the moment when Jungkook drove you home is blurry, and you could only tie fragments together poorly. “Don’t worry about it. You were drunk and you fell asleep on me when I helped you with your shoulders. I brought you to your bedroom.” 
You stare at him, trying to see if he’s purposefully missing out on some detail. But Jungkook’s expression is as neutral as it gets, just looks at you like how he usually does. Soft, fond. Something like that. You can’t even pinpoint it. 
“Well, I’m still sorry anyway,” you let out a heavy breath. “Jimin tells me I’m a super annoying drunk and he’s right and he should’ve really stopped you from volunteering to take me back home.” 
“You really like saying sorry, don’t you?” Jungkook teases, but there’s something to his tone that says he’s being half-serious. “I really don’t mind. I wanted to take you home, and we’re neighbors, anyway.” He shrugs. 
You nod your head. “Why… I don’t remember much about last night but why did you lie back there? To Jimin? When you said you’re still staying at Hannam.” 
Jungkook halts from eating and silence stretches out until he says, “I had a feeling you wanted me to.” 
You purse your lips. “I can’t even say I didn’t because I really did want you to,” you sigh again. There were so many things you did last night that you kind of regret now. It’s really just endless favors from Jungkook now, huh? You hate feeling… indebted. And you hate that you feel like you’re bothering him so much. “Things got so hectic and I didn’t have time to tell him about, uh, how we know each other and all that and I… I still haven’t told him, you see.”
“You know,” Jungkook starts, and you adjust yourself on your seat because he sounds serious this time, not like the usual easy-going, lighthearted tone he always uses with you. “I’m okay with whatever you wanna do. It’s your call. But I’m not sure why you’re trying to hide it from him. I don’t think he’s going to care that much that we already knew each other even way before he introduced us.” 
You swallow the lump in your throat. 
The thing is, you know Jimin is not gonna care – you know that well. But Jungkook also doesn’t know that you already told Jimin about him the very first day you met him. Jungkook doesn’t know that you told Jimin about this crush that you have on this new neighbor. And you’re not ready to tell Jimin that guy – the neighbor, unit 446, was actually his cousin. 
Maybe you’re overcomplicating things too much, but you’ve always been afraid of confrontation unless you have a solid, fool-proof plan backing you up. You’re gonna tell Jimin eventually, just not now. But…
“I feel bad about it. Sorry– if you wanna tell him, you can—”
“Hey, I’m not doing anything you don’t want me to do.” Jungkook cuts you off, looking at you sincerely.
You frown. He’s way too nice.
“You’re so…” you trail off, realizing that you don’t really know what to follow it up with. Jungkook is so… nothing. Blank. You come up with a blank. And not because you feel that way about him – it’s mostly because there’s so many things to describe him with. 
And all you can think of is that you have the urge to come up to him and wrap your arms around him and thank him for being this patient even though you don’t feel like you deserve it. 
Jungkook leans in, a playful smile tugging at his lips. “I’m so what?” 
It’s just going to be a friendly hug. You think to yourself. Yep. Just a friendly hug and nothing more. Friends can hug, right? Like, no malice whatsoever. Jungkook is not gonna think you’re trying to make a move on him; it’ll just be you expressing your gratitude. 
So you go for it, throwing your inhibitions away.
Who even cares at this point.
“Can I hug you?” you blurt out, nervously staring at Jungkook, feeling your cheeks heat up at the way he’s looking at you right now.
His smile widens, and you don’t fully expect it when he responds with a simple, “Yes.” 
You stand up from your seat and round the table to go over Jungkook who pulls himself back and stands, arms opening up to welcome you when you unceremoniously wrap your own around his waist. 
“Sorry,” you say when you bump roughly against him, but Jungkook only chuckles, and you feel the vibration through his chest when he does. His arms circle around your shoulders, making you snuggle against his chest. Probably self-indulgence at this point because his chest is so… big and warm and he smells good and he’s actually letting you hug him so… why not? “This is nice.” you say after awhile.
Truthfully, you initially planned the hug to be just a quick one, but it feels way too tight to let go. And you really don’t want to break away… and by the way Jungkook doesn’t say anything against it, you assume he’s just as into this as you. Probably. 
“I know.” 
You hide your smile against the fabric of his dress shirt. 
And somehow, you stay like that for longer than what… thirty seconds? Just hugging in the middle of your dining table without saying anything. 
You tighten your arms around Jungkook, and you almost let out a sigh of relief when Jungkook begins caressing your back.
“You’re really small.” Jungkook says suddenly. 
“Can you not ruin this moment, please.” 
He chuckles, and you feel him resting his head against the crown of your head. 
And the moment suddenly feels way too familiar…
“Jungkook,”
“__,”
Jungkook chuckles against your hair, squeezing a little on your shoulder. 
“You first.” 
You shake your head. “No, you first.”
“Ladies first.” 
You frown, even though he can’t really see it. “Really?” you deadpan.
“Really.” 
The lightheartedness of the moment doesn’t really deter you from the sudden melancholy that washes over you.
Truthfully, you feel conflicted. You have been for a while now. You don’t know exactly what you feel about him, and Jungkook’s actions don’t help. Sometimes, it feels like you can’t breathe whenever he’s near because you’re so mesmerized, but there are also times – a lot of times in fact – that you feel like he’s your safe space. Like right now. It sounds deluded even in your head but you think his arms feel a little too… home-y. Like you belong right there. 
Then there’s the guilt of being this… way. You’re so confused you don’t even know what you’re doing at this point. You push and pull. He almost kissed you and you swerved just in time to make up some lame excuse about being sleepy. He took you home because you were drunk and brought you hangover porridge right after he got out of work because… because what? 
“Why?” you whisper, the sound barely there. Like you didn’t even mean to let it out. 
“What do you mean, why?”
You shut your eyes close. “Why do you… why do you do this?” 
The question feels weighted, and it is. You can’t see Jungkook, and maybe you’re thankful for that because there’s vulnerability in your uncertainty that you don’t want to show him. 
You feel him pulling up his chin from the crown of your head, and when he lets go of your shoulders, you only tighten your hold around him. Partly because if he breaks away from the hug, he’ll look at you and see you. 
“You do these… things. You’re so nice. And you’re so sweet. You take care of me as if–” you stop yourself. “I don’t know, Jungkook. You confuse me. Why? Why do you do this?”
“__, can—” Jungkook tries to let go again, eager to make you look at him. 
“No. Listen, it’s taking everything in me to be calm right now. I’m embarrassed and I don’t want you to see my face.” 
You hear Jungkook letting out a sigh. 
“Why do you think so?” He says after awhile, finally setting his arms around you again. But this time, the other one is around your waist, and you try to not think too much about how he’s gently rubbing your waist right now.
You really don’t like the fact that you like it too much when he does that. Even hate it more that he himself seems to like doing that. 
“I can think of a few reasons.” you tell him.
“What are those?” 
Thank god you’re having this conversation without seeing each other’s faces. You’ll combust if it was the other way around.
“Well, maybe… you’re just inherently kind and you just like helping people.” You lamely say, and even you don’t believe that. 
Jungkook lets out a chuckle anyway, disbelief painting his voice when he responds, “You think I do this to everybody?” 
“I wouldn’t know.” 
“It’s nice you think of me like that. But no. I don’t do this to everybody, __. I don’t offer my place when someone’s apartment gets flooded, and I don’t cook them hangover porridge right after I get off work.”
You bite your lip. “Okay… then you’re just a really good friend, then.” 
Jungkook stops rubbing your waist. And you feel him freezing.
His tone is almost incredulous when he says. “You think it’s because you’re my friend.”
That makes you break away from the hug quickly. You take offense at the disbelief on his face, and you make sure to glare at him for that. 
“What do you mean by that? Are you being a snob when we’re literally hugging—”
“No, __, god—” Jungkook cuts you off. He grabs you closer again. Gentle. Putting his hands on your waist, he looks into your eyes with a deep sense of sincerity and eagerness. “You really think I do things like this to my friends?” 
You try to look away, but Jungkook’s hand travels from your waist to your cheek, making you look at him. You feel trapped, but there’s no feeling of suffocation from it. You like it, in fact.
“Well. Jimin would let me stay at his place whenever. Just not in his bedroom, though.” 
“Fair,” Jungkook says. His eyes cast their gaze down from your eyes to your lips. And you’ve been in this position before, but unlike last time, you don’t particularly feel like running away. “I’m glad you’re my friend. But I was thinking that… by now you must’ve realized I don’t only see you as that.” 
Maybe somewhere in your heart and mind, you expected that. Maybe you didn’t. Maybe you can still play dumb right now and tell him you don’t know what that means but for the record you’re not playing dumb, you are just this dumb and you don’t even mean that in a self-deprecating way. Just self-aware. 
But Jungkook’s words couldn’t be clearer. 
He likes you – is what he meant.
“Is it weird that we’ve only really known each other for a month… but I can already see the wheels turning in your head,” Jungkook muses when you don’t say anything. A small smile tugs at his lips, then, “You don’t have to say anything soon. If you’re not comfortable with this, I can stop. You just have to tell me.” 
You open your mouth. “I— I…”
But you find yourself drawing a blank.
“I like you, __, if it’s still not obvious.” Jungkook reiterates, more explicitly this time.  
Oh my god. 
You open and close your mouth like a fish in a tank, finding words to be unavailable in your head at the moment.
You feel Jungkook shift on his feet. “You can think about it. I’m not gonna push… but I’ll be here if you want me to.” 
“Jungkook.” You finally say his name, but it feels like the air has thickened around you.
Your fingers instinctively bunch the fabric of his collar, pulling him just a little closer. It’s not enough to throw him off, though; he remains steady, his gaze locked on yours, patient as always.
Always so patient. It makes your chest tighten.
“Yeah?”
The words are there, swirling inside you, desperate to break free. You know exactly what you want to say to his confession – you’ve imagined it, thought about it. It would be so easy, so fucking easy to say it. To tell him you feel the same way, to let him know you want this just as much. The words are right there on the tip of your tongue, practically begging to spill out.
But all that comes out is a soft, unsure, “Can you wait for me?”
It’s not what you wanted to say. It’s not enough. But it’s all you can manage.
Because even though it feels easy, even though you can almost taste the possibility of it, you know deep down that you’re not ready. Not for this. Not for the weight of it all – a relationship, a commitment you’re not sure will work. 
It’s like standing on the edge of a cliff, nature pulling you in for a dive, the wind howling in your ears. You can feel the adrenaline, the rush, the pull to just jump. But you’re unprepared, no harness to catch you, no guarantees. You know that falling means you’ll crash. You’ll hurt.
“I will.”
Jungkook’s voice is calm, almost too calm, and he smiles at you. It’s gentle, the kind of smile that makes everything feel... safe. And for some reason, despite the fear swirling in your chest, you believe him.
You decide, against everything in you that’s scared shitless, to trust him. To trust that maybe, just maybe, he’ll be there when you’re ready just like he promised.
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yeoldenews · 1 year ago
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While we’re on the subject of names, is there an explanation for how traditional nicknames came about that are seemingly unrelated to, or have little in common with, the original name?
ie- John/Jack, Richard/Dick, Henry/Harry/Hank, Charles/Chuck, Margaret/Peggy/Daisy, Sarah/Sally, Mary/Molly, Anne/Nan, etc
I am actually over a week into researching a huge follow-up post (probably more than one if I’m being honest) about the history of nickname usage, so I will be going into this in much, much more detail at a hopefully not-so-later date - if I have not lost my mind. (Two days ago I spent three hours chasing down a source lead that turned out to be a typographical error from 1727 that was then quoted in source after source for the next 150 years.)
As a preview though, here’s some info about the names you mentioned:
The origins of a good portion of common English nicknames come down to the simple fact that people really, really like rhyming things. Will 🠞Bill, Rob🠞Bob, Rick🠞Dick, Meg🠞Peg.
It may seem like a weird reason, but how many of you have known an Anna/Hannah-Banana? I exclusively refer to my Mom’s cat as Toes even though her name is Moe (Moesie-Toesies 🠞 Toesies 🠞 Toes).
Jack likely evolved from the use of the Middle English diminutive suffix “-chen” - pronounced (and often spelled) “-kyn” or “kin”. The use of -chen as a diminutive suffix still endures in modern German - as in “liebchen” = sweetheart (lieb “love” + -chen).
John (Jan) 🠞 Jankin 🠞 Jackin 🠞 Jack.
Hank was also originally a nickname for John from the same source. I and J were not distinct letters in English until the 17th Century. “Iankin” would have been nearly indistinguishable in pronunciation from “Hankin” due to H-dropping. It’s believed to have switched over to being a nickname for Henry in early Colonial America due to the English being exposed to the Dutch nickname for Henrik - “Henk”.
Harry is thought to be a remnant of how Henry was pronounced up until the early modern era. The name was introduced to England during the Norman conquest as the French Henri (On-REE). The already muted nasal n was dropped in the English pronunciation. With a lack of standardized spelling, the two names were used interchangeably in records throughout the middle ages. So all the early English King Henrys would have written their name Henry and pronounced it Harry.
Sally and Molly likely developed simply because little kids can’t say R’s or L’s. Mary 🠞 Mawy 🠞 Molly. Sary 🠞 Sawy 🠞 Sally.
Daisy became a nickname for Margaret because in French garden daisies are called marguerites.
Nan for Anne is an example of a very cool linguistic process called rebracketing, where two words that are often said/written together transfer letters/morphemes over time. The English use of “an” instead of “a” before words beginning with vowels is a common cause of rebracketing. For example: the Middle English “an eute” became “a newt”, and “a napron” became “an apron”. In the case of nicknames the use of the archaic possessive “mine” is often the culprit. “Mine Anne” over time became “My Nan” as “mine” fell out of use. Ned and Nell have the same origin.
Oddly enough the word “nickname” is itself a result of rebracketing, from the Middle English “an eke (meaning additional) name”.
I realized earlier this week that my cat (Toe’s sister) also has a rebracketing nickname. Her name is Mina, but I call her Nom Nom - formed by me being very annoying and saying her name a bunch of time in a row - miNAMiNAMiNAM.
Chuck is a very modern (20th century) nickname which I’ll have to get back to you on as I started my research in the 16th century and am only up to the 1810s so far lol.
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crescenthistory · 8 months ago
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Hi I really love your fics and was hoping to send in a request! I was thinking a fem!reader who’s also a swan animagus, and partners with any or all of the marauders (minus Pete). She’s a very clumsy person, constantly stubbing her toes and bumbing into corners and walls, so when the boys find out that her animagus form is something so graceful they’re just baffled. That’s all I got really, so with that as you please if you please ❤️
this was such a sweet request darling, thank you so much<3 i made this into a general view of what her animagus process looked like + the boys' reactions to what she became
Words: 3.5k
Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, remus' pov, loads of anxiety and fearing for safety of a loved one, post-hogwarts with references to oncoming political turmoil but it is not canon compliant, reader is regulus' best friend, flirty bullying lol, mostly fluff and some hurt/comfort
Note: this is my first official poly!marauders fic, and i absolutely adore writing their dynamic
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When you began your animagus journey, Remus was unsure of what to expect.
Back when James, Sirius and Peter did it, none of their animagus figures came as a surprise, the picturesque manifestations of the personalities Remus had come to love. Sirius, the loyal guard dog, looming and intimidating in your periphery or on the battlefield, but playful and loving by the fire in his own home. James, the noble and brave Head Boy turned stag, equal parts beautiful and fierce, able to balance out and maintain the worst and best in the rest of the boys. Peter, the quiet and mousy dry-humoured boy they came to love much in the same way you love your pet rat, slippery and smart, able to wield what he has to his advantage. All of it made sense to Remus, which provided a balm for the anxiety that settled in his chest at the thought of the lengths his friends and partners were willing to go for him.
With you though, nothing seemed to make sense. Never really had, it was just right somehow.
You came in later in the Gryffindor friend group, a year younger than the rest of them and best friends with Regulus. It was seemingly a buy one, get two deal when Regulus was finally able to escape the Black household and join Sirius at Potter Manor at last. He refused to leave you behind, knowing all too well what it felt like. Neither Sirius nor James could argue with that, and Remus quickly found he didn't want them to.
No, because when you were integrated into the friend group, hesitant for a mere second – mostly out of respect for Regulus it seemed – before allowing your full personality to prosper at its natural breadwidth, Remus was infatuated. You weasled your way into his heart, knocking against every surface on the way there, leaving him breathless.
He was beyond relieved to look at his two boys – his two lovely boys – and see the same longing in their eyes.
In a relationship that already housed a half-blood half-breed, a disgraced son of a most ancient and noble house and a blood-traitor himbo-jock, Remus had not fathomed there would be room for one more. Until that one was you in all your clumsy-bodied warm-hearted glory – then suddenly, it was unfathomable not to have you.
Despite his shock, Remus found himself quite pleased when finally sat in your shared flat a year after Hogwarts, with you held securely in his arms while Sirius and James were commuting home together from their apprenticeships as aurors at the Ministry. The picture of domesticity. The life he never dared imagine. With your scent filling his nose and your cheek pressed against the skin of Remus' throat, he was sure there was nothing else he could ask for.
"I did something today," you murmured absentmindedly then, trailing patterns on his arm, careful not to snag him with the edge of your nail that broke a few hours earlier that he had not bothered filing down yet.
"Mhm, and what was that, dove?" he replied in the same tone, only half-paying attention as he drowsed in the warmth of you.
"I applied to become an animagus."
Suddenly, Remus was no longer tired nor warm nor comfortable nor nuzzled into your hair as he jerked back to look at you in shock.
"You did what?" His voice somehow didn't convey his immediate turmoil, but he's sure his eyes did as you bit your lip sheepishly.
"I applied with the Ministry to become an animagus," you restated as if it was the simplest thing in the world. "Dumbledore's suggestion. Though if one person in our household is properly registered, it could be easier to avoid any suspicion should the order need you to utilise it more often."
The rest of the night was spent with you explaining what was surely a sound and reasonable plan, but that still lit Remus' veins alight with fire. As was the next few weeks, awaiting the pending response, spent with you and James – who quickly jumped onboard, eager to support you – reassuring Remus and in part Sirius that the plan was sound and reasonable and you would be fine.
"Honestly, I'm beginning to think you have zero faith in me," you joked one evening when you were all cuddled up on the sofa.
"It's not that I don't trust you, dovey," Remus began despondently.
Sirius preferred to cut to the chase with a deadpan. “We just prefer for our darling girl who has never once gone a day without a single bruise to not be undertaking dangerous magical transformations that largely depend upon precision.”
"I have gone a day," you muttered petulantly at that, to which James began rubbing your arms up and down whispering something in your ear about "pick battles we can win, angel".
Remus smiled a bit hesitantly at the sight of his two loves sat opposite him, while he himself was currently held in Sirius' arms and unable to see his face. He could, however, feel the tension in his grip though, likely at the thought of all that could go wrong.
"I understand why it has to be done," Remus started. "And you know I support you always, dove. I just can't help but worry."
You cooed at what Remus was sure was a slight pout on his face before leaning forward out of James' arms to kiss it off him. At that, a genuine smile spread across his lips and into your kiss, breathing you in as a sign of defeat.
"I may stumble, but I can do difficult things, my love," you whispered, brushing your thumbs over his cheekbones. "And with you here, I'll always be alright, won't I?"
"I suppose," Remus faux grumbled, to which James leaned forward to ruffle his hair.
"You are so cute," James all but exclaimed. "So, so cute."
"Alright Jamie, that's enough of that," Remus tried but James kept on playing with his hair, though with slower movements.
"Look at you caring for our little clutz." You let out an undignified "hey" at that. "With big Moony on watch, we will never have to worry."
"And big Padfoot!" Sirius exclaimed from behind Remus, causing the latter to roll his eyes fondly at the boy's not-so-fake fear of missing out.
James caught it too with a hearty laugh, slipping off the sofa to slide to the floor beside Sirius with a soft "of course, baby" before littering his face with a sickening amount of kisses.
As Remus watched you giggle, he pulled you closer. Sickening indeed he thought as he stared down at you with overwhelming love in his throat.
The cycle of worry and reassurance continued well into the animagus process when your application was approved, which Remus suspected Dumbledore also had a hand in. Though, for these, you often couldn't reassure him as much with your words, with the mandrake leaf and everything, but James was your perfect advocate, speech ready on his lips, and your hand never strayed far from Remus' body, keeping his anxiety at bay.
When you fell down the stairs one day or when you ran into doors, Remus' breath caught in his throat like never before, the implications of your clumsiness far more prominent than ever before. You were always alright, and Remus knew he just had kept telling himself that until it was over.
You're alright, you're alright, you're alright. A mantra, a prayer.
"She will be alright, right Siri?" A broken sob into his lover's chest on nights you were away to complete the process.
"Always, always, always." A murmured response that weighed a tonne in his chest.
He never did tell you about those nights, he knew you didn't deserve the guilt or the fretting that would overtake you at the knowledge, not when you were doing something to support your loves, your family, your cause. He could never tell you that while you, in all your clumsy chaos, was being brave, he was being a coward.
And you never did tell him that you knew, that you saw, but you held him closer the nights following them.
While one the precipice of oncoming political collapse, one is rarely allowed full reprieve from anxiety, but Remus found himself washed with immeasurable relief and calm when the front door opened on the final night and he heard two sets of boots and laughter as you and James walked into your flat.
The lightning storm in the background required for the final night of the process was still raging outside, but your flat might as well be on another planet for all Remus cared because you were inside, you were alright and you were laughing. 
Only James could follow you to it, as you had to go through the very final bit alone and Sirius convinced Remus you should be surrounded with calm and reassurance before you took those last steps alone. He agreed, always wanting what was best for you, but it did not help his roaring fears to not be able to go with you.
Thus, the homebound boys immediately shot up at the sound from where they had been anxiously perched on each their chair in the living room, running towards the front door. The latter placed his hand pacifyingly on Remus' shoulder, a silent I'm here, it's alright, she’s alright.
You were.
You were alright.
You were also being laughed at, they now realised.
Chucking off your boots, drenched to the core with hair plastered to your face, you looked awfully displeased with James who - equally as drenched but thrice as enthusiastic - was bent over against the wall, face scrunched up with delight. Remus supposed some of the water drops trailing down his face were actually tears of laughter.
"It's not that funny, James," you grumbled, but the twitch in your lips gave away that perhaps it was.
Ignoring whatever petty squabble for half a minute, Sirius swept you up in a hug and twirled you around, the squelch of your clothes and your own giggle filling the room. "My love!" he exclaimed with glee. "Oh you did it my darling, you did it."
Remus walked towards your embrace with reverence, laughing a bit wetly with relief. You looked at him with so much love in your eyes he wasn't sure if he could take it – and then you opened your arm to invite him into your hug, and he knew he couldn't.
With a shaky breath, Remus let himself fall into you with a few tears rolling down his face and an immense smile across his lips. He murmured some sweet nothings into your hairline that not even he could quite make out.
Pulling back just enough to see your now-wide grin, he kissed you searingly in the exact way he had dreamed of doing on this day.
Safe in his arms, at last.
At the thought, he could almost hear you whisper back that you always were.
"Thank you," Remus whispers against your lips. "Thank you."
"What for?" you laugh back into him.
He opens his eyes to gaze warmly into yours. "For being okay. For being brave."
A soft cooing sound escaped you as you gave him another lingering kiss that seemed to promise you always will be. He felt Sirius' lips drift between each of your foreheads, an eternal comfort in all of Remus' worry, even when he had his own.
"Is this the part where you lie to me and say you knew I could always do it?" you tease as you look between the two boys pressed up against you.
At the same time, Sirius gives you a resounding "yes" while Remus shakes his head at you with a laugh.
"It's not a lie," he begins, continuing despite your light scoff. "I always knew you could, you can do anything you set your mind to. I just love you too much not to freak out about the what ifs."
"You absolute sap," Sirius laughs at him, resulting in you slapping his arm lightly in defence of Remus.
"Do you disagree with him?" you question with a raised brow, challenging smile tugging at your lips.
Sirius' humour was washed away to be replaced with soft fondness. "Of course not, doll."
Behind you, James cleared his throat.
The three of you turned around to see your final boy leaning against the wall, admiration written clearly across his face as he took in the picture before him with heart eyes. It didn't escape Remus, though, that you tensed in his arms beside him nor that James had one of his most mischievous smiles across his face.
"Yeah, angel, we are all super duper proud of you now and forever and always." James says it in a way that makes Remus suspicious he has already told you as much a hundred times over while you were out together. "Now can we skip to the fun bit?"
You groan, throwing your head back against Sirius' shoulder – who whispered a petulant ow! – and promptly pulled out of their grasp. Remus tried to focus on whatever bit was about to come from James to ignore the feeling of loss.
"Fine, but I am going to need so much flattery from you after this relentless bullying, Mister." You threatened as you pointed your wand at James, first in replacement of an accusatory finger, and then to vanish the water from his person. You did yourself the same favour, then grabbed Remus' hand to direct your boys to the living room and its wonderful fireplace that Sirius kept alive for you while you were gone.
"You know I will, baby!" James called after you as he grabbed some water bottles from the fridge on the way to follow you, handing one to you unprompted.
"Now? What's so funny?" Sirius asked impatiently as he perched himself on the end of the sofa, directly in front of where you and Remus stood before the fire.
James' grin came back in full force as he looked at you devilishly. "Can I be the one to tell them?" At least he had the decency to ask you.
"You're the one who thinks it's so bloody funny, so you ought to." Remus chuckled at you, pulling you closer into his side, protecting you from James for once.
"So we all know that your lovely, lovely girl here does not have the best track record when it comes to, you know, general spatial awareness?"
Sirius barked a laugh at that and Remus had to pull you back from kicking his shin, resulting in you stumbling slightly. You shot him a half-hearted glare that seemed to scream don't prove his point!
"Yeah," Remus agreed readily, shooting you a smug smile at the betrayal.
"I have yet to meet a table she can outsmart." Sirius nodded solemnly.
This all seemed to excite James even further. "Right! Or a cart she can't run over her foot, or a door handle she can't smash against her hip, or a staircase that won't make her eat-"
"Okay, okay!" You threw your hands up in defeat. "We get your point, Jamie, gods."
James' smile almost turned rueful, but your cute expression was not really helping your case here. Remus couldn't blame him as James reached out to pinch at your chin.
"And we love you all the more for it, angel, really."
"Yeah, yeah," you grumbled, waving his hand away and placing more weight against Remus. "Get to it, Potter."
"Moony, Pads," James said, looking at them with levity, as if he was about to disclose serious news. "Our beautiful little klutz is a swan animagus."
There was silence for two seconds, as Sirius' jaw fell on the floor and Remus' eyes widened. Remus regretted to disclose that he was the first to break it as he snorted a laugh, prompting Sirius to immediately match James' previous hysterics, clapping his hands together.
"No way!" he laughed as you crossed your arms in further petulance.
"A swan?" Remus questioned with mirth to no one in particular.
"A swan!" James confirmed excitedly.
"And what about it?" you grumbled, stepping back so you could more easily glare at all three boyfriends at once. "What's so so funny about it?"
"It's nothing, dove, it's just-" Remus' placating was undercut by him laughing through it "- swans are know to be, like, elegant."
"I can be elegant!" you retorted. Sirius just snorted at you. "I can be!" you continued, nodding your head in that endearing way you do when you try to insist.
"You certainly look elegant," James relented. "But, my absolute love, you are anything but."
"Again, stairs." Sirius said it as if the word "stairs" in and of itself was an argument. Knowing your past, it most certainly was.
"Grace and elegance are often considered opposites of clumsiness and incoordination, dovey," Remus explained.
"I know that," you seethed in response, but the fight was already running out of you.
"It's just a tad bit ironic, isn't it?" James fought to calm his laughter.
Sirius did no such thing. "Understatement of the year, Prongs."
"Maybe the grace my animagus refers to has something to do with my inner grace in handling you lot," you grumbled, to which James cooed – effectively not helping his case. "And they represent wisdom and understanding, not to mention that they bite so you watch yourselves now." Your glare was withering as you couldn't help but laugh a little at your own joke.
With another breath of laughter, Sirius rose from his seat to reach for you in a hug, but you stepped out of the way. "No hugs for rude boys," you said simply.
"Oh, come on dollface, let me appreciate our little swan." You put up little effort as Sirius tucked you under his chin, chest still rumbling with laughter. “I just cannot believe you're a swan, baby."
"I can," Remus said, letting affection take over the humour in his voice once more. "They represent love too, you know."
James' face scrunched up in laughter as he roughly pulled the wolf into his arms, squeezing him tightly. "You're killing me, Moons, you can't say stuff like that."
"Why the hell not?" Remus grumbled all the while holding James tighter, eyes trained on you and Sirius.
"Because I’ll love you too much." At that, Remus laughed, kissing James' cheek softly.
"Regardless of any humour and irony, you did something incredibly difficult, dove. We're so proud of you." This was not just placation, Remus believed it with his whole chest. You could evidently tell as you almost shied into Sirius' chest.
James walked his embrace with Remus towards you and Sirius, so you were all standing close to one another in front of the sparkling fire.
"Is it okay to say I'm really proud of myself too?" you asked then with a slight self-conscious smile.
Sirius shut down any insecurity with the searing kiss he pressed to your forehead. "Of course, baby. It would be a tragedy if you weren't."
Remus could feel James tilt his head in thought. He couldn't help but pry. "What is it, Prongs?"
"Just that," James began. "Because of our animagi, I'm Prongs and Sirius is Padfoot. But you've always called Y/N dove just because – and now she is a bird, so should we all call her that now? It's not the same bird, but close?"
"No," Remus and you said quickly and shared a small smile. "Dove is mine, you lot can find your own bird-name for her," he teased.
James just laughed. "The possessive streak runs deep in this wolf, huh?"
"What nicknames can be derived from a swan then?" Sirius wondered out loud. "White Wing sounds too much like a superhero name."
"We are not calling me White Wing." You laughed, leaning your head on Sirius' shoulder. "I quite like what you've always called me. If we need a codename later we can come up with it then."
Remus was sure his irises could melt from how soft his gaze on you felt. "Sure thing, dovey. Tonight we just do whatever you want to celebrate."
Your smile was relaxed in that domestic, beautiful way that Remus felt the urge to frame. "We're already doing it. Just being with you three."
"Sap," Sirius whispered in your ear, accidentally tickling you, causing you to giggle and twist in his arms.
As Remus' body shook with both his and James' laughter, he knew that you had once again gone and done everything he never expected. If he was lucky, you would do that for the rest of his life – and that is what would make it good.
"Oh, I have to go tell Regulus!" Sirius exclaimed, running off - with you hot on his heel.
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astralis-ortus · 1 year ago
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sunday, sunday, sunday
✱ husband!bc × fem!reader
— now, and every sundays to ever come. i want to spend them all with you.
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w.count → 1.1k genre → fluff, fluff, fluff. just tooth rotting fluff. warnings → very minor cussing (just once)(atp cussing is a given lol), kissing, time jump (twice), chan referred to as chris a.n → blame the man for putting the idea in my head like what can i do??? his insta post??? hello??? not to mention his song recommendation while i was writing this??? laufey's like the movies??? what??? he wants me dead atp<////3 ⋆ see masterlist
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it’s sunday.
to be fair, it has been sunday since the moment chris’ eyes flew open a few hours ago. it’s sunday when he got ready, it’s sunday when he got his light makeup and hair settled, it is sunday when he finally wore the crisp tailored suit that has been turning his heart into the loudest marching band ensemble he’d ever known.
but to be fair,
it’s not just any sunday.
“bring those shoulders down, hyung. you’re gonna get cramps at this point.”
“oh shut up,” chris groaned, feeling more embarrassed about the fact that he got caught more than the fact that his nerves are firing non-stop at an untraceable rate. “just take the pictures, felix.”
albeit rolling his eyes at chris’ rather feisty comment, it was proven impossible to wipe the cheeky grin off the younger’s clearly ecstatic face. after all, it’s a monumental day in chris’ life—and he’s very honored the older trusted his (and technically hyunjin’s) skills to capture the day’s earlier moments.
“see? that’s already all better,” felix cheerily quipped, snapping several pictures as soon as he caught a glimpse of chris fixing his posture. besides, a little movement here and there does make the picture come out a lot more natural, which was the one thing you repeatedly told him (and hyunjin) as something you wanted to see most in the final cuts.
you.
the mere thought of you was enough to melt the remaining stillness present in chris’ face.
it has been a wild few months; meetings after meetings, fittings after fittings, testing, changes in plans, some other minor revisions, checklist, checklist, checklist. chris was justifiably spent, and so were you. there were arguments (you refused to call them fights, knock on wood), there were a couple of shed tears (out of frustration, of course), there were a few hours of leaving each other on read (justifiably so, considering both of you are quite the stubborn pair), but there were also a lot of make-up dates, plenty of exchanged giggles of excitement, and bountiful of prayers for the days to come.
those days have been wild, and this sunday will begin to prove that every second of it was worthwhile.
“chris hyung!”
woken up from his trance, the glint on chris’ eyes finally returned as he found hyunjin’s head peeking from inside the room—the one he’d been waiting on for the past 10 minutes while his head was busy creating bits and pieces for his life montage.
“ready to see your bride?” asked the younger, grin replicating the ones felix is sporting behind his lenses.
am i ready?
palms running over the fabric of his carefully crafted suit, ones you finally chose after debating over a dozen others you deem was ‘not grand enough for someone about to spend the rest of my life with’, chris took one final breath.
“ready.”
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it’s sunday.
it’s been exactly a week since your wedding day, and you finally got your hand on the stack of developed pictures courtesy to your now-husband’s talented teammates. originally, you wanted to take part in picking the films, but the duo was pretty convincing when they said waiting for their pick would make a good little surprise to enjoy on your honeymoon trip.
“come on,” chris beckoned, curls framing his beautiful face while his hand motioned to the empty spot next to him on the bed; one you just left after a call from the front desk informing you about the tiny package under your husband’s name. “let’s see how hyunjin did at taking your pictures.”
“and felix at yours,” you added with a grin, swiftly claiming your throne while your fingers were busy ripping open the brown envelope. “i want to see my husband as much as you wanted to see your wife, you know. not to mention, that suit was absolutely perfect on you.”
“not again,” his defeated giggles has been chris’ way to answer to your every compliment on his look since the day of your wedding. “you need to stop that before my head blows up to the size of a hot air balloon, my love.”
“well,” you shrugged, finally getting your hand on the stack of pictures before then snuggling right into the warmth of chris’ arms, “have you ever thought about trying not to be so hot all the da-“
and of course, stealing kisses has also been his alternative should you continue to run your mouth and try to turn him into a blushing mess.
as if that’s not exactly the reason why you kept up with the praises.
“can we start looking at the pictures,” he muttered over your lips, evidently smiling as his lips brushed against yours, “or do i still need to shut you up?”
you hummed, letting the warmth of his skin hover over your face before your lips captured his in a quick peck, “pictures. need to see my cool husband.”
the way his laugh reverberates against his chest never fails to warm you up.
“okay, picture it is then.”
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it’s sunday.
you didn’t expect moving to be this hard—sure, you’ve been living together with chris even before you two got married, but had you really been accumulating that many stuffs?
“fuck—i think it’s not the right screw,” your husband’s mutters forces your line of sight to gravitate towards his hunched figure, still hovering over the half-built shelf on the floor of your living room.
“you reckon it should still stick out this much?” he questioned, beckoning you to look at the silver piece, sticking out like a sore thumb. “no, right?”
“think not,” you huffed, crouching next to chris to look at the scattered pieces around him, “was this all? did they send the wrong one?”
chris groaned in defeat, deciding to lean onto your warmth instead of voicing his answer. maybe building your own furniture was not exactly a good idea to spend your first weekend home after your honeymoon trip.
treading your fingers through his soft curls, you then came up with a suggestion, “i’ll get you a pineapple juice then we’ll figure it out together, yeah?”
and it sure perked him right up.
looking at you with sparkles lighting up in his eyes, it felt right—it felt like even through the worst sundays, chris would still be the there to welcome you home.
“thank you,” he grinned—the boyish kind. the one that made you feel like a swarm of butterflies, one that gets you blushing like a schoolgirl in front of her first ever crush. his lips then found its home on the bare of your thigh, printing a quick kiss on the surface, “you’re the best.”
“mm, i know,” you answered with a giggle, feeling the warmth breaking through your skin before returning the kiss on his plump lips while feigning ignorance to the way your heartbeat grew louder by the second.
“you’re still the bestest of the best, though. can’t beat you.”
©️ astralisortus, 2024. | likes and reblogs are highly appreciated♡
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grunckle · 1 year ago
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On stars, guardians, and Rain World’s cosmology.
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One aspect of Rain World lore that’s asked about quite a lot but normally never gets satisfying answers is the topic or Rain World’s space/universe/cosmology. Despite first impressions though, there’s a lot more it than meets the eye, so I thought I would compile most everything we know about it.
For one, to get it out of the way, Rain World isn’t on a planet, and its universe is fundamentally different from our own. This is something Joar has talked about on occasion.
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He also said on an earlier dev log how Rain World functions more like a fantasy world where it doesn’t hold much relevance than a real sci-fi like planet.
“Oh, another thing - Rain World isn't a planet lol Cheesy Or I guess it might probably be on a planet, just as Lord of The Rings, Sex And The City, Zelda and Frankenstein's Monster are probably technically on a planet, but just as in those examples the planet aspect isn't really relevant at all. Rain World is more of a fantasy world or a dream world, not somewhere you can go in a space ship ~”
But even if it’s not incredibly relevant, it’s clear a lot of thought was put into Rain Worlds fictional cosmology, this was even mentioned by James.
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So, that being said here's what we know about Rain World's cosmology in game.
The biggest indicator of Rain World's unique cosmology is that the Farm Arrays deep pink pearl just mentions celestial spheres, which are aspects of older cosmological models.
"This one is just plain text. I will read it to you. "On regards of the (by spiritual splendor eternally graced) people of the Congregation of Never Dwindling Righteousness, we Wish to congratulate (o so thankfully) this Facility on its Loyal and Relished services, and to Offer our Hopes and Aspirations that the Fruitful and Mutually Satisfactory Cooperation may continue, for as long as the Stars stay fixed on their Celestial Spheres and/or the Cooperation continues to be Fruitful and Mutually Satisfactory." ...May Not as long as the Stars stay fixed on their Celestial Spheres Grey Hand, Impure Blood, Inheritable Corruption, Parasites, or malfunction settle in Your establishment."
More subtly, there's also a mention of the ground colliding with the sky.
"If you leave a stone on the ground, and come back some time later, it's covered in dust. This happens everywhere, and over several lifetimes of creatures such as you, the ground slowly builds upwards. So why doesn't the ground collide with the sky? Because far down, under the very very old layers of the earth, the rock is being dissolved or removed. The entity which does this is known as the Void Sea."
You could chalk this line up to flowery language, but considering the presentation of the rest of the dialogue, it sounds more like an actual aspect of this world.
We know from the Chimney Canopy echo that the sun rises.
"From within my vessel of flesh, I would perch upon this spot to observe the rising of the sun."
And from the top of The Wall we can see the moon and stars (confirmed to be stars by Joar in the previous screenshot, instead of satellites or something else) , which are green!
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So, what does this all mean? I think we can entail a few things with what they've given us.
For one, the mention of the ground colliding with the sky implies some sort of firmament, which isn't an unusual concept in the general realm of celestial spheres.
But on the topic of celestial spheres, the pearl actually isn't the only place we see the concept. Guardian halos are very similar to depictions of celestial spheres, and also astrological clocks.
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You can make of this as you will, perhaps the astrological references being tied to guardians could hint at the nature of karma, but there isn't much to really delve into that idea.
For what it's worth, celestial spheres are also core concepts in Gnosticism, which Rain World is heavily inspired by. I explain it more in this post about Void Worms, but for a quick synopsis in Gnosticism there are seven planetary spheres, and an eighth above them; the planets and stars are fixed to their spheres. These things just further cement the fact that celestial spheres seem to be a key aspect of Rain World's cosmology, and it would also likely imply it's universe follows a geocentric model.
For a bit of a more out-there theory, people have pointed out how the view atop the wall stretches really far, going far beyond what we could see on a spherical planet like Earth, which has led some to theorize that the world is also flat.
But what is probably the most important aspect of Rain World's cosmology is the nature of dust. Dust builds up, and the bedrock of the world is eaten away at by the Void Sea. Civilizations rise and fall into the sea as new ones are built above it. Many, including myself, believe that the world exists in a sort of state of equilibrium. The world is dissolved from the bottom, then that falls back on the world as dust; even in the final moments of the game we see dust suspended in the void sea depths.
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And hey, even void worms are described as being star-like.
"Oh, interesting. This is a diary entry of a pre-Iterator era laborer during the construction of the subterranean transit system south of here. In it they describe restless nights filled with disturbing dreams, where millions glowing stars move menacingly in the distance."
Cyclical, recursive, something else entirely? We can never really pin down the true nature of Rain World's cosmology, but the things we do get hint at something strange and unique. It's such an interesting aspect of the lore, and it seems like Videocult will continue to make mysterious cosmologies in their future projects...
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sylus-doll · 3 months ago
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Synopsis: Sometimes, when spending time with him, you feel like he owes you something. You decide to tell him about it one day.
Warnings: References to Sylus's Myth.
Author's note: Was gonna post this earlier but I got sick and my period hit me real bad LOL. Comments and reblogs are appreciated, enjoy! <3
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You loved spending time with Sylus. It's the most fun you'll have, no matter how ridiculous your ideas may be. He always finds a way to make it work. With him, the word “limits” has erased itself from your dictionary. Instead, you ask yourself just how far Sylus is willing to go for your sake. But the answer is simple, really. His resources and time seem to be unending when you are the focal point of the picture. Ask for the moon, and he will bring back the stars along with it.
Even if the two of you aren't going out, choosing to stay in and bask in each other's company. These domestically intimate moments are just as— if not more— precious. Just like now. You've dragged Sylus into his bathroom, an assortment of skincare products you wanted to try already sitting on the sink countertop. Grabbing a tub of facial mask, you twist open the lid, scooping some of it with two fingers.
“Bend down. And close your eyes.” Your words come out more demanding than you wanted it to.
“My... So bossy, sweetie. No magic words to sweeten the deal?” But Sylus doesn't even try to act like he's reluctant to do so.
Spreading the clay mask on his face, you take the time to admire his features. Tracing your fingers along his strong eyebrows, down the bump of his nose, over his prominent cupid's bow lips. For someone not blessed by the gods, he sure looks like one. Sylus is the kind of beauty that makes artists weep. One that you cannot capture within a still painting, a muse no one has the skill to recreate. So devastatingly beautiful, it aches.
“Are you applying a mask, or sculpting my face, kitten?” The deep timber of Sylus's voice breaks you out of your trance.
Looking away, you place a finger on his lips.
“Shush. It's a clay mask, you'll crack it.”
He hates when you do that. Looking away from him, avoiding his eyes— pulling away from him. Sylus doesn't understand where he went wrong. You were perfectly fine up until recently. The growing distance of your bond claws at him. Did he do something? He wants to know, needs you to tell him how he can mend whatever damage he made. He could not live shunned in your silence or knowing he hurt you in some way.
How tempting it is to give in. To want to surrender and melt in your lover's embrace. Yet still, you look away. It's something you have felt since the two of you first met, back when Sylus still gazed at you with disdain. You never understood it. Why you were consumed by the need to devour him. Something that, for some inexplicable reason, you knew bone-deep that this desire is something only he can fulfill.
Two fingers; pointer and thumb, take your chin. Sylus tilts your face toward him. An emotion you could not decipher simmering in his brilliant, scarlet eyes. His brows furrow, lips opening and closing again. He wants to ask you— the questions on the tip of his tongue ready to spill out. But he doesn't know if that will scare you away more. So he hesitates, wondering if understanding your recent behaviour is out of his reach.
“...Sy? Can I tell you something?” You ask, a little unsure. You aren't stupid, the tension is clear. You know he wants answers. And you won't let him live in doubt of your relationship.
Sylus's eyes widen a fraction. Only for a split second before masking with his usual suaveness. You want to talk, that's good.
“Of course, sweetie. What is it?”
Reaching out, you cradle the right side of his face, thumb just below his right eye. You don't miss the way he shudders, gaze following your touch. His lips tremble when you begin to stroke your thumb on his cheek. Such a sensitive man, always so attuned to your touch. Like your warmth is a hearth, like your hands are a shelter from the cold. One of his hands cup your own, making you linger on his face.
“Lately... When I look at your right eye, it feels like I want it. It's scary. I don't want to hurt you. But something in me gnaws desperately to take from you like it belongs to me.” There. The full, honest truth.
Sylus is stunned. He expected anything else. A problem with him, something to change— about himself or otherwise. Perhaps even you wanting to leave him. But no. Sweet, lovely you. What you were so worried about is a centuries-old desire of yours. A desire for him that you couldn't understand. Albeit, you don't know that, yet it still brings him relief. It seems you are the same soul he fell in love with ages ago, even if you will never remember it.
He leans closer, palms now cradling your face. “Have I not taught you to be greedy with me? If you simply wanted more of me, just say that.”
Although Sylus yearns to tell you what this truly means, he understands that you wouldn't believe him. And that's okay. He will wait however long he needs to until you come to terms with yourself or remember your past. Rest assured that you will never be alone in your journey. Sylus will help you clear the path, guide you along the way even if it may be deceitful of him. He just wants his beloved to come back home.
“Don't you understand that all I am is yours? There is nothing you could do to hurt me if I allowed it in the first place. Take whatever you want from me— take me. I am nothing if not yours to love, entirely, my beloved.”
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levandright · 7 months ago
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And oh, how I'd love to go Paris again
pairing : jake x f!reader ୨ৎ content / warning(s) : non-idol au, love at first sight, fluff, strangers to friends to lovers(not stated but heavily implied), tension, they're in love your honor, fate reference/mention, can be read as either hs or uni au its up to you ୨ৎ word count : 5.9k
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synopsis. you're overwhelmed with your school finals close by, while you are taking a short break from your studying, you couldn't help but reminisce about your precious memories in the city of love when a song that reminds you of your time in paris play. ୨ৎ lev notes : the class trip may not be 100% accurate but its for the plot okay... i had to make it inspired by the 1975 cause i love them too much not to do so + it fits with how i literally have them as my top artist this year :3 (i started writing this days earlier before spotify wrapped lol) also i literally had paris on loop for like 7 hours in total while writing this... anyways hope y'all like this cause it took a lot of brain power to write it, trust i will post what the heart wants as soon as i finish a surprise fic im working on rn ꒰⠀for @sugarikiz event 'ʏᴏᴜʀ ℰ𝓎ℯ𝓈 ᴏɴʟʏ ☁︎.𖥔 ' ꒱
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you're at your school's library, cramming for your upcoming finals. with a little over a week to prepare for months' worth of lessons across multiple subjects, the pressure is taking quite a toll on you. two cups of coffee sit beside your laptop, one already empty. even though you've been studying for less than 40 minutes, you already feel the urge to down all the caffeine left in front of you just to keep from dozing off again.
sigh, 'just gotta finish this whole powerpoint. then, i can finally relax for a bit' you silently hype yourself out. with the reward of a break for an hour of studying, you quickly go through the entire lesson in a flash.
grabbing the not empty cup of coffee, you take a much needed sip to keep yourself awake for more hours of studying.
a while later, you're stretching in your seat after having finished with that specific powerpoint. 'finally i can take a break' you think to yourself
as you sit, and stare at your laptop's screen. contimplating on what to do to pass time, you decide to play music to relax yourself.
clicking the shuffle button on your playlist. you put your headphones on and rest your head on your arms, as the familiar tune of paris by the 1975 play.
the music pulls you into a memory, that unforgettable class trip to paris.
꒰ and oh, how i'd love to go paris again ꒱
you’re on the bus, the city outside the window slowly coming to life. everyone in your class is chatting excitedly, pointing out landmarks and planning what to do when you finally get off. the eiffel tower is getting closer, its towering frame making your heart race with excitement.
“can you believe we’re actually here?” keeho says, leaning over to nudge your shoulder. his energy is infectious, and you can’t help but smile.
hyunjin, sitting across the aisle, snaps a quick photo through the window. “this already feels unreal,” he says, grinning. “i’m going to fill my camera roll today.”
the bus comes to a stop, and your teacher announces a short break to explore the area. the three of you quickly stick together as everyone spills out onto the cobblestone street. paris feels alive—the air smells like fresh bread and coffee, and the chatter of locals blends with the hum of passing cars.
“we need food. let’s find a café!” keeho declares, already marching toward a row of cozy-looking places with outdoor seating.
you follow, laughing as hyunjin drags you by the wrist to keep up. he’s scanning every building, taking quick snapshots of anything that catches his eye. “wait, stand here,” he says suddenly, pulling out his phone to snap a candid photo of you and keeho in front of a flower shop.
“are you going to take pictures the whole trip?” you tease.
“obviously,” hyunjin replies, unbothered. “someone has to document how good we look in paris.”
eventually, the three of you settle at a small café. the waiter brings over menus, and you all take a moment to soak it all in. keeho orders a slice of cake, hyunjin gets a croissant and coffee, and you decide on a simple baguette sandwich.
“okay, this is officially the best food i’ve ever had,” keeho says after his first bite.
“it’s just cake,” hyunjin says, rolling his eyes but stealing a forkful anyway.
you laugh as they bicker, feeling a warmth settle in your chest. sitting there with your best friends, surrounded by the magic of paris, everything feels perfect.
after finishing your meals, you and your friends head back to the bus to regroup with your class. the energy is buzzing as everyone talks about their plans for the rest of the day. your teacher announces that the next stop is a famous museum nearby.
the museum is grand, with high ceilings and beautiful architecture that makes you feel small in the best way. inside, it’s quieter, with your classmates dispersing into smaller groups.
hyunjin immediately pulls out his camera again. “this lighting is perfect,” he mutters, snapping a photo of a sculpture in the corner.
keeho rolls his eyes with a smirk. “he’s gonna be like this the whole time.”
“he’s consistent, at least,” you joke, earning a laugh from keeho as the two of you start wandering through the exhibits together.
the artwork is stunning—paintings that feel alive, sculptures that seem to breathe. you and keeho take your time strolling through the halls, sharing your thoughts on each piece.
“i don’t get this one,” keeho says, staring at an abstract painting.
“it’s open to interpretation,” you reply.
“so… the artist spilled paint everywhere?”
you nudge his arm. “be serious!”
keeho grins but then glances around. “hey, i’m gonna find the bathroom real quick. don’t get lost.”
“sure, sure,” you say, waving him off.
as he walks away, you wander aimlessly, letting your feet carry you through the museum’s winding halls. you stop to admire a large painting of a serene countryside when, out of nowhere, you bump into someone.
“oh, i’m so sorry!” you blurt out, taking a step back.
the stranger turns to you, and your words catch in your throat. he’s tall, with warm eyes and a gentle smile. his presence feels calm, yet somehow magnetic.
“no worries,” he says, his voice warm and calm, with a hint of an australian accent you catch right away. “are you okay?”
you nod quickly, feeling your cheeks heat up. “y-yeah, i wasn’t looking where i was going.”
he chuckles lightly, brushing it off. “happens to the best of us.”
he pauses for a moment, as if waiting to see if you’ll say anything else. you manage a small smile. “thanks for being so nice about it. i’m—uh…” before you can finish, keeho’s voice rings out from somewhere nearby.
“hey, y/n! where’d you go?”
the spell is broken, and you glance over your shoulder to see keeho waving at you. turning back to the stranger, you offer an apologetic smile. “that’s my friend. i should go.”
“of course,” he says, still smiling. “take care.”
you hurry off toward keeho, your heart still racing. as you rejoin your friends, you glance back briefly to see the stranger walking away. something about the moment lingers, a small spark you can’t quite explain.
after regrouping with keeho and hyunjin, the three of you continue exploring the museum. hyunjin has finally tucked his camera away, much to keeho’s relief.
“didn’t think i’d ever see the day you’d stop taking pictures,” keeho teases.
“i’m just saving space for later,” hyunjin retorts, grinning. “besides, i want to actually enjoy this.”
the three of you move through the museum, pausing at different exhibits. keeho offers more of his hilarious “critiques,” while hyunjin points out details you might’ve missed. for a while, it feels like time doesn’t exist, just the three of you soaking in the beauty of parisian art.
after some time, you excuse yourself to find the restroom. as you leave, keeho calls after you, “don’t get lost again!”
“i won’t!” you call back with a laugh, shaking your head.
once you step out of the restroom, you turn a corner and nearly bump into someone again.
“oh—sorry!” you start, looking up. and there he is.
the boy from earlier.
“you again,” he says with a warm smile, his eyes lighting up with recognition.
“yeah, me again,” you reply, feeling your face heat up.
“i guess we’re just destined to keep running into each other,” he jokes, his tone light and teasing.
you laugh softly. “seems like it. i never got your name earlier.”
“jake,” he says, extending his hand. “and you?”
“y/n,” you say, shaking his hand. his grip is gentle but firm, and you feel your heart skip a beat.
“nice to officially meet you, y/n,” jake says, his smile widening.
the two of you start chatting, the conversation flowing easily. he tells you he’s here with his own group, visiting from another school all the way from australia, and you share a little about your own trip. his voice is calm and steady, and his subtle humor keeps making you giggle.
at one point, he gestures toward a nearby painting. “what do you think of this one? please don’t say the artist spilled paint everywhere.”
you burst into laughter, shaking your head. “no, no, that’s keeho’s specialty. i actually think it’s kind of beautiful, in a chaotic way.”
“good answer,” jake says, grinning.
before you know it, the sound of footsteps and familiar voices echo down the hall. “y/n! where are you?” keeho calls, his voice unmistakable.
you glance in the direction of the sound, then back at jake, your smile faltering slightly. “that’s my friends. i should go.”
jake nods, his expression soft. “of course. it was nice talking to you, y/n.”
“you too, jake,” you say, stepping away reluctantly. as you walk toward your friends, you can’t help but glance back once. jake is still standing there, giving you a small wave.
you rejoin keeho and hyunjin, who immediately start teasing you for taking so long. but as the three of you continue exploring the museum, you can’t stop thinking about jake. and though you don’t say it out loud, you quietly hope that fate will bring you together again.
it’s been a day since the museum, but your thoughts keep circling back to jake. his kind smile, the way he made you laugh, and that unmistakable australian accent—it’s all stuck in your head.
after dinner with your classmates at the hotel, the buzz of chatter feels overwhelming. you decide to step outside for some fresh air, hoping a quiet walk will help clear your mind.
the streets of paris are calmer at this hour, bathed in a soft, golden glow from the streetlights. a small park just down the road catches your eye, and you wander toward it, settling onto a bench beneath a tree.
you sit there for a while, letting your thoughts drift. the cool breeze carries the faint scent of flowers, and the distant hum of city life feels oddly soothing.
suddenly, you feel someone sit down beside you. you glance over, and your heart skips a beat.
it’s him.
jake.
the boy you couldn’t stop thinking about.
he notices your surprise and gives you that same warm smile. “hey,” he says casually. “fancy seeing you here.”
you blink, struggling to process the coincidence. “jake? what are you doing here?”
“could ask you the same thing,” he says with a light chuckle, leaning back against the bench. “i was out for a walk, saw this park, and thought i’d sit for a bit. didn’t expect to run into you again.”
you laugh softly, shaking your head. “paris must be smaller than we think.”
“or fate has a funny way of working,” he says, his tone teasing but his eyes sincere.
the conversation flows naturally from there. he asks about your class trip, and you tell him about your visit to the museum and all the places your group plans to see next. he shares stories about his own class, laughing about his friends’ antics and the moments that make the trip memorable.
“you’re telling me someone actually fell asleep in front of the mona lisa?” you ask, barely holding back laughter.
“yup. full-on snoring,” jake replies, grinning. “the security guard didn’t know whether to wake him or leave him there.”
the two of you laugh together, the sound blending into the quiet of the park.
after a while, jake stands up. “wait here,” he says, his tone playful but mysterious.
“where are you going?” you ask, watching him walk toward a nearby food stand.
“you’ll see,” he calls back over his shoulder.
a few minutes later, he returns, holding two neatly wrapped chocolate crepes. he hands one to you with a grin. “figured this would make the moment even better.”
you take it, smiling at his thoughtfulness. “thanks, jake. this is perfect.”
as you both sit there, enjoying the crepes and chatting under the parisian sky, you can’t help but feel like this moment is something straight out of a dream.
the days in paris pass like a blur, filled with sightseeing, laughter, and the magic of simply being in the city. but the most unexpected highlight of your trip that osn’t on the schedule—is jake.
you can’t quite explain it, but somehow, you keep running into him. these little moments have become the thing you secretly look forward to the most.
────୨ৎ────
you’re standing at the counter of a small café, debating between ordering a croissant or a pain au chocolat. the decision feels monumental, and you’re entirely lost in thought when a voice interrupts you.
“go for the pain au chocolat,” jake says, appearing beside you with an easy smile.
you blink, startled at first, before breaking into a grin. “jake? what are you doing here?”
“getting breakfast,” he says, holding up a cup of coffee and a bag. “didn’t think i’d see you again so soon.”
“neither did i,” you reply, chuckling. “are you always this lucky, or is paris just this small?”
“maybe both,” he teases. “need help deciding?”
“i was leaning toward the croissant, but now i feel like i have to trust your judgment.”
“always trust the chocolate,” he says, nodding sagely.
you laugh and order the pain au chocolat. as you wait, the two of you chat, his humor making the simple café feel like the best spot in paris.
────୨ৎ────
a couple of days later, you’re wandering through a mall with keeho and hyunjin, trying to find souvenirs to take back home. keeho is busy debating between two scarves for his mom, and hyunjin is glued to his phone, looking up recommendations.
you drift toward a small kiosk filled with handmade trinkets, running your fingers over delicate keychains.
“don’t tell me you’re buying one of those cheesy eiffel tower keychains,” a familiar voice says behind you.
you spin around, your heart skipping a beat. “jake!”
he’s holding a bag of his own, filled with souvenirs. “fancy meeting you here.”
“again,” you add with a laugh.
keeho spots jake and gives you a knowing look, while hyunjin just raises an eyebrow before wandering off. you try to ignore them and focus on jake instead.
“what’s in the bag?” you ask, nodding toward his purchases.
“just some stuff for my family,” he says. “and maybe a keychain or two.”
you laugh. “i thought you were against cheesy keychains.”
“only when other people buy them,” he says, his grin mischievous.
────୨ৎ────
the park has become your little escape, a quiet place to think and reflect. you’re sitting on the same bench as before, lost in thought, when you hear footsteps approach.
“do you have a permanent spot here, or are you waiting for me?” jake’s voice breaks through your daydream.
you turn, smiling as he sits down beside you. “maybe both.”
“lucky me, then,” he says, leaning back and looking up at the sky. “so, what’s on your mind today?”
you hesitate for a moment, then decide to be honest. “just… thinking about how much i’ve enjoyed this trip. and how strange it’ll feel to leave.”
jake nods, his expression softening. “yeah, i get that. it’s been a lot, hasn’t it?”
“yeah,” you say quietly, and for a moment, the two of you sit in comfortable silence.
that evening. your teacher gathers the entire class in the lobby of the hotel to deliver the news.
“you’ve got two days left to enjoy paris before we head back home,” she says. “make sure you start packing your things and grab any last-minute souvenirs.”
the room fills with murmurs of excitement and relief. most of your classmates are thrilled to return to canada, and part of you is, too. but as you head back to your room, a bittersweet feeling settles in your chest.
two more days. that’s all the time you have left before you have to say goodbye to jake.
you don’t know why the thought stings so much, but it does. and now, more than ever, you hope for one more chance to see him.
────୨ৎ────
the second-to-last day in paris feels like a blur of excitement and nostalgia. you, keeho, and hyunjin make it a mission to visit as many places as possible, squeezing every last drop out of your remaining time in the city.
as the three of you step into the vintage store, you're greeted by the faint smell of aged leather and a mix of retro music playing softly in the background. the shop is packed with everything from old records to racks of vintage clothes and shelves lined with random knick-knacks.
“okay,” keeho announces, clapping his hands together. “this is the place to find hidden gems.”
hyunjin raises an eyebrow. “hidden gems or overpriced junk?”
“you just don’t have the vision,” keeho shoots back, already digging through a rack of jackets.
you wander toward a glass display case near the counter, something catching your eye—a vintage digicam. it’s small, sleek, and looks like it’s been well cared for. you kneel to get a closer look, curiosity piqued.
“hey, what’d you find?” keeho asks, appearing beside you with a leopard-print scarf draped around his neck.
you point to the camera. “a digicam. looks pretty cool, doesn’t it?”
keeho leans in, inspecting it. “very cool. are you gonna get it?”
you hesitate. “i don’t know… do you think it still works?”
“only one way to find out,” hyunjin says, suddenly appearing on your other side. he gestures to the shop owner, a kind-looking older man, who unlocks the case and hands you the camera.
you examine it closely, turning it over in your hands. the lens looks clean, and the buttons feel intact.
“how much?” you ask the shop owner.
“twenty euros,” he replies with a smile.
keeho gasps dramatically. “a steal! you have to get it.”
“yeah, before someone else does,” hyunjin agrees, casually flipping through a rack of shirts.
you laugh at their enthusiasm and decide to go for it. “alright, fine. i’m buying it.”
as you hand over the cash, keeho strikes another pose with the scarf. “what do you think? parisian chic, or should i stick to my usual?”
“stick to your usual,” hyunjin says without looking up.
keeho sighs, draping the scarf back onto the rack. “you two have no appreciation for drama.”
you test out the digicam, snapping a quick photo of keeho mid-pout. the image pops up on the tiny screen, surprisingly crisp for something so old.
“perfect,” you say, showing him the photo.
keeho grins. “okay, maybe you do have an eye for the dramatic.”
hyunjin wanders over with an oversized sweater, holding it up against himself. “thoughts?”
keeho wrinkles his nose. “are you auditioning for a grandpa role?”
“i like it,” you say, defending hyunjin’s choice.
“thank you,” hyunjin replies, smugly tossing the sweater over his arm.
the three of you spend a bit longer in the shop, goofing around and trying on random hats, sunglasses, and jackets. you snap more photos with your new camera—keeho wearing an old captain’s hat, hyunjin attempting to look cool in aviator sunglasses, and a candid shot of the two of them laughing together.
by the time you leave, the bag with your new camera swings lightly at your side, and your heart feels full. the memory of this moment—just you and your friends being unapologetically yourselves—already feels like a keepsake all its own.
at a small crêperie, hyunjin’s crêpe is covered in whipped cream and chocolate drizzle.
“how are you even holding that without it falling apart?” you ask, staring at the overloaded treat in wonder.
hyunjin shrugs. “skill,” he says simply before taking an enormous bite.
keeho watches in horror. “that’s going to end up all over your shirt, and i am not letting you borrow mine.”
“you sound like my mom,” hyunjin says through a mouthful of crêpe.
by the seine river, you take turns with the digicam, capturing moments that feel like they belong in a movie. keeho makes exaggerated poses on the bridge, while hyunjin tries (and fails) to look mysterious.
when it’s your turn to hold the camera, you take a candid shot of the two of them mid-laugh. it’s perfect—pure and genuine, a reminder of how much these moments mean to you.
“alright, photographer extraordinaire,” keeho says, pointing dramatically at the eiffel tower in the distance. “get my good side.”
“you don’t have one,” hyunjin jokes, earning a glare from keeho.
as the day winds down, you find yourself lingering outside the hotel while keeho and hyunjin head inside.
“we’ll be in the lobby if you need us,” keeho calls over his shoulder, giving you a knowing look.
once they’re gone, you make your way to the park. the same bench, the same tree, and this time, jake is already there, waiting.
he stands when he sees you, his smile soft but bright. “hey.”
“hey,” you reply, walking up to him. “beat me here this time, huh?”
“had a feeling you’d come,” he says, shrugging.
you sit down beside him, the quiet of the park wrapping around you like a blanket.
“you’ve been busy,” jake comments. “i saw you earlier near the seine with your friends. looked like fun.”
“it was,” you say, smiling at the memory. “trying to cram everything into one day, you know? time feels so short now.”
jake’s expression shifts, just slightly, and you know he understands what you mean.
“speaking of time…” you begin, hesitating. “we’re leaving tomorrow. my class is flying back home.”
jake nods slowly, his gaze dropping to his hands. “i figured it was coming. my group leaves the day after.”
there’s a pause, the kind that feels heavy but not uncomfortable.
“do you think we’ll meet again?” you ask softly, not daring to look at him.
“i hope we do,” he replies, his voice quiet but firm.
the weight of his words lingers between you, saying everything that neither of you can.
you pull out your digicam, breaking the tension with a small smile. “can i take some pictures? you know, to remember this?”
jake’s face brightens slightly. “of course.”
you snap a few shots—some posed, some candid. jake laughing at something you said, jake looking off into the distance, and finally, one of the two of you together, taken with his help.
as the night deepens, you know it’s time to go. you stand, reluctantly. “i should get back before my friends come looking for me.”
jake nods but doesn’t move. instead, he reaches out, gently taking your wrist.
“wait.”
you turn, surprised, as he pulls something from his jacket pocket—a pair of silver rings, simple and elegant.
“for you,” he says softly, slipping the smaller one onto your right hand’s ring finger. the fit is perfect.
your heart races, words failing you as he looks at you, his gaze full of unspoken meaning. then, he leans forward, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.
“goodbye, y/n,” he murmurs, stepping back.
it takes you a moment to find your voice. “goodbye, jake.”
as you walk back to the hotel, your mind replays the moment over and over, the cool metal of the ring on your finger grounding you in the surrealness of it all. that night, lying in bed, you can’t help but wonder if the universe will bring you and jake together again someday.
꒰ paris again, and again, and again, and again, and again ꒱
a tap on your shoulder pulls you out of your thoughts, and you lift your head groggily. you blink, trying to focus on the person standing in front of you. it’s keeho, grinning mischievously, while hyunjin stands behind him, sipping his americano with a slightly amused expression.
“y/n, what are you doing?” keeho asks, leaning in and waving his hand in front of your face.
you yawn, rubbing your eyes. “i’m taking a break. i can’t even keep my eyes open for more than a minute.”
hyunjin raises an eyebrow. “yeah, we can tell. you’re practically sleeping at your desk.” he leans against the back of your chair, his voice cool but teasing. “how about you stop pretending to study and actually join us for once?”
keeho’s grin widens as he jumps into the conversation. “we’re heading to a café to study, and you’re coming with us. you need a change of scenery.”
you groan, feeling your body resist the idea of leaving the comforting quiet of the library, but deep down, you know you’ve been at it for too long. a change of pace might be exactly what you need.
“come on, y/n,” keeho insists, his voice full of that playful energy you can’t ignore. “we’ll make it more fun. you can’t study like this. plus, you’ll probably get more done with us around.”
you hesitate for a moment, your mind torn between the need for a proper break and the looming pressure of your exams. still, you can’t deny how much you need a little distraction. “fine,” you sigh, finally giving in. “but if we end up just talking the entire time, i’m leaving.”
hyunjin chuckles, giving you a knowing look. “i think you’ll be okay. we’ll actually study this time. promise.”
keeho grabs your arm, pulling you up from your seat with a playful tug. “good, because you need us to keep you sane. now, let’s get out of here.”
as the three of you leave the library, you let out one last sigh, knowing that even though you might not get as much studying done as you hope, you could definitely use the company.
the café is warm and inviting, the soft hum of background chatter mixing with the aroma of fresh coffee and baked goods. it’s a stark contrast to the quiet, studious atmosphere of the library, and you find yourself breathing a little easier as you step inside.
you find a small corner table and set your laptop down, letting out a contented sigh as you settle in. keeho and hyunjin head to the counter to order, leaving you to fidget with your feet, trying to shake off the weight of the past few hours spent studying.
your eyes flicker to the window, watching people pass by as you idly tap your fingers against your coffee cup. eventually, you stop, catching sight of the ring on your right hand.
you pause, fingers tracing the smooth metal, your mind drifting back to paris. “it’s been three years since that time in paris,” you think to yourself, a wave of nostalgia washing over you. the memory feels distant now, like a dream you’re not quite sure was real.
you wonder if jake still remembers you, if he thinks about you at all. you’d been so wrapped up in the magic of those moments, so caught up in the fleeting connection between the two of you, that you’d completely forgotten to exchange socials, to keep in touch.
a soft laugh escapes you, tinged with frustration. you can still picture your past self—so carefree, so caught up in the magic of the moment, never once thinking about the things you should have done. and now, years later, it stings.
the photos you took back then are all you have left—memories frozen in time, but still, you find yourself wishing you had more. a way to bridge the gap between then and now, something more than a ring on your finger that’s become a quiet reminder of what you left behind.
a soft laugh from keeho breaks you from your thoughts, and you glance up to see him and hyunjin walking toward the table, their arms full of coffee cups and pastries. keeho places your cup down in front of you, his expression softening when he notices the faraway look in your eyes.
“you okay?” he asks, settling into his chair across from you.
you smile faintly. “yeah, just… thinking about paris.”
hyunjin raises an eyebrow but doesn’t push. he simply places a croissant in front of you and nods. “we’ll make it through these finals. paris will still be there when you’re done.”
you nod, but the bittersweet smile remains on your face, the question still lingering in the back of your mind. will you ever see jake again?
you manage to get some work done, but there’s plenty of laughter and light-hearted banter between you guys. hyunjin and keeho constantly bicker over the most ridiculous things—whether iced coffee is better than hot coffee, or if studying with background music is productive.
“you’re seriously telling me you don’t like the classics?” keeho says, shaking his head dramatically. “what kind of music do you even listen to, hyunjin?”
“i listen to music that doesn’t make my brain want to shut down,” hyunjin replies with a smirk, taking a sip from his americano. “but hey, if you need classical music to study, you do you.”
you laugh at their back-and-forth, shaking your head at their silly rivalry. the sound of their bickering is strangely comforting, distracting you from the pressure building up inside your mind. you feel a little lighter, even if it’s just for a moment.
after a while, you excuse yourself and head to the bathroom inside the café, needing a quick break from the endless cycle of notes and coffee. the place is busy, but the hum of quiet conversations and the scent of freshly brewed coffee make it feel comforting.
you take your time, refreshing yourself and letting your thoughts wander for a few moments. when you finally finish and head back out, you’re not paying attention to where you’re going, still lost in your thoughts.
and then—bam.
you collide with someone, the force making you stumble slightly. your reflexes kick in, and you immediately start bowing in apology, your words rushing out in a flurry of embarrassment.
“i’m so sorry! i didn’t mean—”
but before you can finish, you hear a familiar voice, soft and warm, with that unmistakable australian accent.
“y/n?”
you freeze, and the world seems to stop for a moment. you slowly lift your head, and there, standing in front of you, is none other than jake. in the flesh.
for a split second, all your words get caught in your throat. your heart races, and your brain scrambles to process the unexpected reunion. this can’t be real. is this a dream?
jake’s brows furrow slightly as he looks at you with concern, his voice softening. “are you okay?” he asks, stepping a little closer to you, clearly worried about your sudden silence.
you blink, feeling your heart thumping louder in your chest as you try to find your words, but they’re nowhere to be found. you stand there, staring at him, completely at a loss for what to say.
he leans in slightly, just enough to make sure you’re okay, his face showing that familiar concern. “y/n?” he gently says your name, and your body snaps back to reality.
“i—uh… sorry, i just—didn’t expect to see you.” you feel the heat rush to your cheeks, embarrassment flushing your face. "i thought… i thought i was imagining things."
jake chuckles softly, his expression softening with a smile that makes your heart flutter. “i didn’t expect to run into you here either.” his tone is light, playful, but there’s something in his eyes—something that makes the air feel a little thicker.
you both stand there for a moment, awkward silence hanging between you. the familiarity of this moment feels surreal, but there’s no denying the warmth that spreads through you at the sight of him.
“so, uh,” you start, finally finding your voice, “what are you doing here? i didn’t expect to run into you… again.”
jake’s lips curl into that familiar, soft smile. he shrugs nonchalantly, but there’s a glint in his eyes, something unspoken. “guess it’s just fate.” he says, his tone playful but there’s a layer of sincerity underneath it, one you can’t quite ignore.
you chuckle lightly, but the tension between you both is palpable now, thickening the air around you. there’s an undeniable pull between you, something that neither of you have fully acknowledged, but it’s there, lingering in the space between your words. you feel the heat of his gaze, and the sudden awareness of how close you both are makes your heart beat just a little faster.
“so… how’ve you been?” you ask, needing to break the moment but also curious, wanting to know everything about him since that last time you saw him.
jake rubs the back of his neck with a small, shy smile, a gesture you remember well. “i’ve been good… just been busy, you know. but i’ve been thinking about our time in paris a lot.” his voice is casual, but his eyes hold something deeper, a hint of vulnerability that you weren’t expecting.
you nod, understanding exactly what he means. you’ve been thinking about paris too. every memory feels like a treasure, something you’ve carefully tucked away, not wanting to forget any part of it. you wish you had more time to ask him about the things he’s been up to, to know if he’s felt the same pull that you have, the connection that neither of you can explain.
you glance down at your hand absentmindedly, and that’s when you see it—the ring he gave you in the park, so simple yet so meaningful. the silver band glints in the soft café lighting, and your heart does a little flip.
jake notices too, his gaze dropping to your hand. his smile softens, almost imperceptibly, but you notice it. there’s a quiet understanding between you two that you don’t need to speak aloud.
“i see you’re still wearing it,” he murmurs, his voice low, almost tender.
you look up at him, meeting his eyes, and for a moment, everything else fades away. you feel like you’re back in paris, standing in that park, with everything still ahead of you, full of hope and possibility.
“i didn’t want to take it off,” you say quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.
jake doesn’t say anything at first, his eyes locked on yours. then, without warning, he reaches out slowly, his fingers brushing lightly over your hand, and he gently presses a kiss to your right hand, right where the ring rests. the simple gesture feels like it speaks volumes, and you can’t help but feel a surge of warmth spread through you.
“i’m glad,” he says softly, his voice just above a murmur. “i’m glad you kept it.”
for a moment, neither of you speaks. the world feels like it’s holding its breath. the space between you feels charged, but neither of you is in a rush to break the silence. it’s as if this moment, this small, quiet exchange, is enough.
you blink, still a little stunned by the gesture, your heart racing, but a smile tugs at the corners of your lips. you can’t help but feel the warmth in your chest, the way his simple action makes you feel seen, valued, even though you never really said all the things you wanted to say.
when you finally speak, your voice is soft but steady. “i didn’t think i’d see you again.”
jake takes a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. “i didn’t either, but i’m glad i did.”
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winterdaphne2 · 1 year ago
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Favorite Johnlock Fics (BBC Sherlock)
I went on a bit of a fic-reading spree this spring, and this list of favorites is the result! There are many other fics that I’ve enjoyed reading, but these are the ones that I’ve really loved for one reason or another.
I’ve tagged the authors whose tumblrs I could find. If that’s you, thank you so much for sharing your writing with us. If your work is on here, you wrote something that I really treasure.
1. A River Without Banks, by Chryse. E, 203,286 words. Starts right after Season 3. A mix of Sherlock’s perspective, John’s perspective, and the perspectives of other characters. Sherlock-focused for the first half.
Author’s summary: “‘You love this, being Sherlock Holmes.’ He had once. When had it all gone so wrong?”
This is my absolute favorite. The author’s characterization of Sherlock is amazingly accurate, and Sherlock’s character development over the course of the story is breathtakingly executed and moving. The plot is fantastic and takes you on a page-turning emotional roller coaster, especially for about the first half of the story. I was also continually impressed by how many details from the show and references to earlier parts of the fic the author was able to weave in throughout while still keeping the story creative and original. Most importantly, though, I love this fic for the message that it sends about Sherlock and John’s love, which is a far more positive message than the one that the actual show settled upon in the end. I’m grateful that we have this version of their love story, and, personally, I like to pretend that this was Season 4 and how the show ended.
2. Another Country, by Chryse. E, 67,414 words. Starts right after the end of TAB. Sherlock’s perspective.
Sherlock spends one month and three days under house arrest in 221B, trying to get clean from the drugs, track down the new Moriarty, and figure out what the hell is going on between him and John.
Another fantastic work by Chryse. This author really gets Sherlock’s character, and once again the characterization of Sherlock is spot-on and convincing. There are a few other elements that also make this a compelling story, including smart use of minor characters, a solid central mystery, and a complicated relationship between Sherlock and John that includes a pretty convincing post-Season-3 version of John. Excellent.
3. walk through ghosts, by @augustbird. M, 6,125 words. Written between Seasons 2 and 3. Sherlock’s perspective.
Author’s summary: “The thing is: Sherlock thought that the two of them would have forever to figure it out.”
This is the saddest fic I have ever read, and so beautifully written. The author captures Season 2 Sherlock’s character perfectly; the fact that this story feels so real is what makes it devastating. The day after I read this, I couldn’t stop thinking about it and walked around with my heart physically aching in my chest.
4. Nature and Nurture, by @earlgreytea68. M, 203,273 words. Set sometime after Season 2. Alternates between John’s and Sherlock’s perspectives, but mostly told from John’s.
The British government clones Sherlock. He and John decide to raise the baby.
A true fandom classic. The premise sounds super cracky, but somehow it really works. This fic is surprisingly serious at times, but overall it is the cutest and funniest thing I have ever read in my life. Basically 200,000+ words of Sherlock and John being adorable gay fathers together and working through some feelings, with line-by-line some of the most hilarious dialogue ever. The five accompanying ficlets that the author wrote as short follow-ups are also worth checking out; my favorites were School (T, 4,753 words) and The Radovljica Apicultural Museum (T, 4,540 words).
5. To a Friend Who Sent Me Roses, by @algyswinburne. E, 16,147 words. Set sometime after Season 4 (but ignores TFP, as we all should lol). Sherlock’s perspective.
Author’s summary: “Five times Sherlock is mistaken for John’s partner and Rosie’s father, and one time it isn’t a mistake.”
This fic is sad, sweet, and hot by turns. Absolutely lovely to read in so many ways, and with so many great details and lines. I think this story offers convincing portrayals of what Sherlock’s and John’s characters might be like after it all and how they might finally get together. This and A River Without Banks are my favorite alternate endings to the show. Beautiful!
6. for all that bitter delights will sour, by @darcylindbergh. E, 9,585 words. Set sometime after Season 3. Sherlock’s perspective.
John initiates a sexually and emotionally abusive relationship with Sherlock.
The second saddest fic I have read. I would never want what happens in this fic to happen to Sherlock and John, so I don’t exactly recommend it as a Johnlock fic. But as a short story, this is a gem, full of absolutely gorgeous and incredibly moving writing. It depicts difficult themes very deftly, in lines and paragraphs that I had to stop to read over and over. I appreciate this as an emotionally powerful and thought-provoking piece of writing inspired by Sherlock, so for that reason I think it deserves to be on this list.
7. The Ground Beneath Your Feet, by Chryse. E, 68,803 words. Set after Season 3, but as if the last two minutes of HLV never happened. “The plane went on to Eastern Europe, and this is what came after.” John’s perspective.
This fic is pretty dark; the author describes it as “a PTSD story in which John was wholly devoted to Sherlock.” I don’t love it quite as much as the other two fics by Chryse that I’ve listed here, but that’s mostly because those two are just so amazing! I still really enjoyed this one. It was wonderful to see a kind and caring version of John emerge out of Season 3, and the story had several memorable moments, including one particularly nail-biting scene. I also really liked seeing John and Mycroft become friends as they bonded over their shared concern for Sherlock.
8. The Adventures of a Single Girl in London (Plus a Consulting Detective), by @earlgreytea68. M, 32,913 words. Set soon after Season 3. Alternates between different characters’ perspectives.
Bored with life at her new cottage in Sussex, Janine returns to London and moves in with Sherlock at 221B. Hilarity, heartbreak, and eventual Johnlock ensue.
This is a Season 3 fix-it fic that features an absolutely lovely friendship between Sherlock and Janine and the best version of Janine that I’ve come across in a fic. Sherlock is vulnerable and sweet, John is an absolute idiot, Janine is perfect, and the last two chapters just make me scream. Great stuff.
And that’s it for now! If you know of any other fics that I might like based on the above, I’d be happy to hear about them, so drop me a line!
Happy reading 😊
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stress-doodlez · 14 days ago
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So for JRWJUNE Day 12, I couldn't decide what my favorite JRWI fic was. So here's four of them! (spoilers ahead for these fics (also most of them are PD fics))
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Misfit Toys - Whiskey_With_Patron
This one's based on the PD Oneshot where the boys are villains and as of now is unfinished. I really like how Wight is written and the dialogue between Vyncent and The Greats. The scene I drew gave me chills when I read it!
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how long has it been? - losingallchill
This fic places Chip as a vampire hunter, with Reuben as his brother, and Gillion as a vampire. Right now, it's unfinished. Gillion tearing up every image of himself in the house just makes me feel some kinda way.
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i know i've kissed you before (can i try again?) - underscorespider
This is a Ghostknife college au where both Vyncent and William are active superheroes, but neither knows the other is a hero. It's such a sweet fic with so many moments that made it hard to put it down. It's finished with 13 chapters.
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Cotard's Solution - Anonymous
If I absolutely had to pick a favorite, this one would be it. This fic is an AU where William survives the fall and goes to work at Belltech as David's assistant while Ashe takes William's spot in the Prime Defenders. The way William's inner monologue is written traps the reader in his thoughts and is a perfect representation of what it's like to be an overthinker (something I can relate to lol). But it's interspersed with funny PD shenanigans that make it so not everything is heavy all the time. This fic makes me feel uncomfortable in the best way possible and I love it!!! It isn't finished yet, but I absolutely cannot wait for the next update. Also I love that the title is a Will Wood reference.
Honorable Mentions
I Find One Weak Spot And I Start Unraveling - valeovalairs
An Apotheosis AU where Elena is introduced to the group a lot earlier in the adventure. Rumi then leads a double life as both themself and Elena while they fall more and more in love with Peter. I love how the author writes Peter!
I'm not saying you're killing me, BUT there is a flower in my lungs - emotionaloof
Another Ghostknife AU where Vyncent goes off to college by himself and develops hanahaki disease - Only he doesn't know who he's in love with. The way Vyncent's desire to protect PD from the truth is written really hits me in the feels.
I think fanfiction is really cool and, while I don't think I could write it myself, I still really appreciate the hard work that's put into it. I wanted to make this as an appreciation post for some of the fics that I've really enjoyed as a way to say thank you! Also to encourage people to give them a read or maybe even inspire them to write their own.
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wlwanakin · 16 days ago
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i thought your anakin gender post was soo rad i'd love to hear more of your thoughts !!
(i don't think we've ever actually interacted before so kind of scared to send off anon but. it really resonated i would <3 to chat)
disclaimer to begin with that i will be he/himming anakin for most of this because that is how he is canonically referred to and i’m mainly talking about the text itself and public perception here. constant conundrum when i write these kinds of posts unfortunately
a huge part of why i wanna talk about this headcanon in excruciating detail all the time is that i feel like a lot of people love doing the “he’s a woman to me” shtick (and its many variations) without any actual interest in exploring how that character would feel about gender or how their transness would interact with their arc and the narrative and i just find that to be a bit of a bummer. especially with a character like anakin! because there’s nothing super obvious or intentional (that’s particularly interesting at least) about how these characters relate to gender in the movies but there’s this two-fold thing going on with anakin where so much of his arc is narrowly missing at getting what he wants (the most monumental miss being missing out on living publicly and happily with his wife who he’s not allowed to have because of his religion mind you) and on a meta level people responded to his character with visceral hatred bc of how he failed to live up to their expectations of masculinity for a male protagonist. a trans reading kind of writes itself honestly. and anakin is also a character with a pretty broken sense of self to boot, a character whose entire arc in the prequels culminates in him taking on a name he didn’t even choose and becoming unrecognizable to even himself and generally being completely hollowed out for the next two decades. but even before that he kinda lives entirely for other people and grounds who he is in relation to them and is afraid of himself and that’s what makes it so easy for him to be able to get to the point where he ends up to begin with. his one harbor that allows him to be truly fully himself is his relationship with padmé, and that’s a relationship that has to be repressed and can only flourish in the shadows and whose long-term survival rested on afters and maybes. and all-in-all this makes anakin feel like someone who never fully self-actualized because he never got the chance and when i see all that i just cannot help but relate it back to what it feels like to deny or repress your own queerness but way more specifically your own transness.
and like i said earlier it’s also very interesting in a meta way because of how much of the initial negative response to anakin as a character was weirdly informed by homophobia and misogyny despite this character being a Straight Dude. like, the clone wars’s whole approach to making him more likable was literally just making him more traditionally masculine (even superficially! the character model looks nothing like hayden christensen whose features are quite soft). so these movies aren’t trying to tell you that anakin is failing miserably at being a man but when the public perception was Like That for so long it’s really hard for that to be a non-factor in how he’s perceived. and it’s not thee reason for any headcanon or even an important one but it certainly becomes part of it. especially because just in general anakin in the films comes off as viscerally uncomfortable existing and why can’t gender be a part of that. we don’t know! she probably doesn’t know! she’s busy!
but anyway i’m so happy you resonated with my post about it and i definitely don’t intend for that to be the last one. and feel free to come off anon or even to dm me bc i’d love to chat more!! i love talking to people on here and i also love talking about this (CLEARLY. i didn’t think this post would be so long lol).
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scotchiegirl · 7 months ago
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"He's remembering the realization he had when Eliot was shot and for that half a minute Nate was convinced that infecting these people with morals had killed one of them."
When was Eliot shot and Nate was briefly convinced that he'd gotten him killed? The show is a bit of a blur since I saw it all way too fast and I lost track of the timeline 😅
Lol, I'm not surprised! Leverage is an easy show to binge and I'm referencing an earlier post I made here which references a second or two blip of time in The Beantown Bailout Job. In the final confrontation in that episode, Eliot gets caught eavesdropping (after they've found out that the banker is the one running the operation, not the mob) and hauled in in front of the boss and Nate, who's trying hard not to blow his own cover. In order to flip the con and frame the mob guy for working with the cops instead of the bank manager, Nate offers to "search" Eliot and pretends to find a Marshal badge in Eliot's pocket. The bank manager demands someone just kill Eliot and while they're arguing over killing him and who's gonna do it, suddenly there's a bang and Eliot has a red spot and he just kind of stares blankly at Nate for a second in his chair and the camera cuts to Nate and you can see just raw panic on his face (in Nate fashion, which means he's frozen with slightly buggy eyes.) (And to make the emotions worse, when Nate was searching him, Eliot whispered that he hoped Nate knew what he was doing.) Then there's two more "shots", Eliot falls out of his chair, and Nate turns around to see Sophie there holding the gun. And since Sophie's in on it and would never hurt anyone, especially on the team, it must be okay, but Nate has to just ... Take that on faith for a minute.
And yeah I kind of extrapolated that that was the moment Nate realized that truly, if anything happened to these guys, it's Nate's fault for introducing them to helping people. So that's what I was referencing in my other post :D
Thanks for the ask! Remind me to do a post on The Beantown Bailout Job and how The Maltese Falcon Job mirrors it in the same way that The Long Goodbye Job mirrors The Nigerian Job ;)
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