#refuse to rewatch to see if I’m misremembering

[10moonymhrivertam]

Also remember how literally everything Sherlock talked himself through in the near-death-dream got subverted for Mary’s actual death? So there was a not insignificant chunk of people expecting her to come back again?

I mentioned this in the tags but yknow what I’m bringing it up to the body so forgive me repeating myself

Remember how 4.3 aired early somewhere (German dub? Russian?) and tumblr was kinda dead set that it was a red herring episode? Silly Internet this way everyone knows it’s not a real leak cuz it’s just so bad-type attitude. And then we got the same thing in English. And there was STILL a conspiracy theory about a fourth episode?

Also. Was gonna put this in the tags but nah it goes in the body too.

Can’t believe you didn’t even mention John beating Sherlock up in 4.2. That felt so brutal to me. But I guess it was controversial at the time whether that was in-character or fucked up? That with the grief and the repressed frustration of their whole friendship it made sense? Idk I just hated it being pained as fine as a whump-enjoyer who never got emotional resolution on the s3 torture. And. Yknow. That recent bullet wound thing.

John’s grief was really controversial in general. I know my bestie and I were. Very Unkind about Martin’s choice of noise to express John’s grief. Like I know irl grief happens all kinds of ways. But my dude. You had to choose that mooing noise? On top of the direct textual contradictions to Sherlock’s near death, it made it incredibly hard to take seriously.

Every so often, I remember that like 80% of Tumblr (myself included) was completely enraptured by a show where the big twist was that the main character forgot his childhood friend was murdered by his sister, and for some reason only remembers his childhood friend ever existing as a dog.

[thelunarbar]

Back to my rewatching(was waiting for DVDs to show up bc I got tired of watching it in my phone)

Ah the classic forgot where I parked the car thing. We’ve all been there

Why was his first thought to run over the cars??? I mean ig it took less time and maybe he wanted the noise but it seems very unnecessary

Distractions i.e. Allison

Liar. and point proven literally ten seconds later. God I hate him he’s so annoying

Oh good more cringey teenage make outs 🤮 and it never ends wtf

Ha cockblocked

I refuse to believe she wouldn’t need Kate to spell Gevaudon(probably misspelled that which I think proves my point quite well)

Tyler posey is not a great actor

Seriously enough with the super dim lighting already 😭

Love the sitting in the dark waiting for Scott thing that Derek does

Liar. Why do people lie so much in this show??? Just be freaking honest with people. And if they aren’t lying they’re being vague and cryptic Oi with the poodles already

Scott has no right being annoyed at stiles for being upset with him

Stiles is me. I am stiles. We are one. Wanna use the silent treatment but someone has to tell my friends they’re dumbasses

I feel like she wouldn’t have been able to find a book on some random French fairytale that easily but maybe that’s just me

Eyyyyy Star Wars reference love it

This feels so like smth teenage boys would do so props to the writers for that. Ofc normal boys would tie up their friend and chuck lacrosse balls at them for fun with no ulterior motive but still

This is so gross why did they have to show him retching like that???

I’m used to being special and now I’m not is literally Jackson’s whole argument for why he’s an ass to Scott and like buddy grow up the world doesn’t revolve around you

Why is Allison not commenting on the fact that he kinda looks like he’s dying rn?

I love stiles rolling his eyes when Allison says maybe she can bring Scott’s grade up 😂 I’m with stiles on that

Coach is probably my favorite character

Ik stiles intelligence gets talked about quite a bit but imo it can always be talked about more

Ofc then he does smth dumb like scratch up so dudes truck and then makes the guy think it was Scott that did it and gets him beat up by like four grown men sooooooo still a teenage boy

I mean at least chem teacher stopped the beating up of Scott but I still hate him

I fucking love Derek’s car

How did he afford it tho??? And like where does he park it when he goes to his house bc it’s never there when he is

Don’t we find out deaton has known the hales for a long time? Why are he and Derek acting like they’ve never met before? Maybe I’m misremembering

Wow and moving right on to tying him up

I feel like they totally change what/who deaton is to the plot later on bc none of this makes sense with what I remember happening later on

Ahhhh love stiles jeep too

See I remember the going to the school and Scott howling through the PA system but I did not remember deaton being tied up in the back of Derek’s car

Scott’s first attempt at howling is horrifying and hilarious at the same time

And Derek’s “you’ve gotta be kidding me”

And then stiles “like a cat being choked to death Scott”

Sour wolf

Gross. I really didn’t need to see all the blood pouring from Derek’s mouth

Also is that what Peter looks like as the alpha always or does that change later bc he doesn’t look how I remember? My memory of this show isn’t great tho

[marley-manson]

Finally rewatched GFA and lmao I wildly overestimated how much screen time was dedicated to BJ and Hawkeye’s relationship, oops. I think it’s bc 90% of what they did get was dysfunctional, and they got the Final Goodbye of Greatest Emotional Importance, so it stuck out in my mind.

This time around I still loved Hawkeye’s plot for the most part. Had my take that once he remembers he’s fine talking about it confirmed with the casual way he asks if it’s couch time when Sidney approaches during his letter-writing, as well as him bringing it up later on multiple times, jokingly and not jokingly with Sidney. His reluctance to talk about the bus and his deflection was clearly intended to be a major Something’s Really Wrong Here signal, satisfyingly righted after the revelation with his more casual, in-character willingness to admit to and talk about his mental breakdown.

I am not a huge fan of Sidney’s method of throwing people back into the traumatic war zone asap lmao, I actually misremembered that as the army’s doing, but nope it’s Sidney. I know that’s the psychological theory they’re working with so I take it in the spirit intended, but thematically it kinda sucks and uhhhhh Hawkeye quits surgery anyway so they failed to make it seem successful even if he did operate a few times first.

BJ really is a mess of a character lol, I honestly have no idea what they were doing with him in the finale other than scrambling to find something for him to do, and like half of what he does is let Hawkeye down one last time. Also the reason BJ didn’t leave a note is because he chose to be pressed for time so he could land in San Francisco instead of Seattle, which was Klinger’s first suggestion for his travel itinerary. Plus his refusal to say goodbye functionally states the reason he didn’t leave a note, ie his emotional constipation, which is a very pointed flaw in this episode especially so I don’t think having more time would’ve made a difference.

Also relatedly BJ’s “I just thought there might be something we wanted to say to each other” came across even worse this time around because Hawkeye’s “Look, I know how tough it is for you to say goodbye, so I’ll say it,” calls back to it. It really genuinely was BJ demonstrating his inability to emotionally connect with Hawkeye without Hawkeye doing it first and wanting Hawkeye to read his mind and offer a heartfelt outpouring of emotion without knowing he’s leaving and while in a cell in a mental hospital and right after BJ, who should have more sense than to talk about babies in front of him since he was purportedly on that bus too, triggered him. Evil evil scene for BJ. Also probably my favourite scene in the ep, because I love Hawkeye’s rant so much.

“Would you hold me in your arms or would you let me lie there and bleed?” still works as a commentary on their whole dynamic, but lmao it really does come completely out of left field in the scene itself, Hawkeye went from 0 to 100 in like 2 seconds. It makes sense as an extension of the way BJ left the hospital and then left without a note too, as Hawkeye expressing how he feels about that after stewing for a while, but yeah the actual scene still made me go ‘well that escalated quickly.’ And BJ’s “you don’t even have a cold” response, just totally and probably willfully missing the point, gj guy.

BJ getting drunk and joking about running off with someone during the goodbye party is a bizarre choice lol, and I can see why people want to take it as an oblique confession re Hawkeye because at least it’s meaningful that way and not just making BJ’s scene there a dumb awkward joke. The other way it’s meaningful is if it’s a Sign of BJ’s impending domestic doom ofc, though I’m on the fence about intent there.

Hawkeye’s “I can’t say I loved you all either... but I loved as many of you as I could,” is such a good Hawkeye summation lol, in the jokey, flirty way intended, in the non-gendered way that’s probably unintended, and in a true-on-a-deeper-level way too.

Soon Lee was disappointing honestly. I thought she might have more personality here than in the last ep, but nah. The only moment she had where she showed any kind of personality was her line about wanting to see Klinger in a dress. That was a great joke though lol. I’m curious what she’s like in AfterMASH, but not enough to watch any of it. I do love Klinger staying in Korea for the irony, and I LOVE that it really is the same wedding dress from season 3.

Charles and Margaret were more entertaining than I remembered, I really enjoyed them rehashing old arguments here. I totally forgot that Margaret mentioned wanting to work in a stateside hospital at the very start of the episode before getting all the letters from her father. Definitely doubling down on my belief that she’s not retiring from the military at all, but rather just working at a military hospital. Love her speech to the nurses best.

Mixed feelings on the Charles and musicians plot. It’s fitting, but perhaps not solely in the way intended lol, in that it’s always always always Charles finding sympathy and attachment to someone only after they appeal to one of his pet interests or the sympathies he already has. He really doesn’t change that much - he gets friendlier with some of the other characters, and he reveals more complex and endearing sides of himself, but he doesn’t really grow lol, and once you notice that he only ever starts to care after he projects his interests on someone those moments get a little less endearing. I think he’s still a fantastically written, fun, and genuinely pretty interesting character, but he never quite achieves likeability on a personal level. But hey, maybe that is intended.

Mulcahy’s plot was honestly a little annoying lol, like, dude you made it worse by refusing medical help and keeping it a secret for the sake of like... one more week with the orphans? I do think it was appropriate that he managed to keep his hearing loss hidden though, because it mirrors the way he tended to miss jokes and references throughout the show, and I dig that angle. Also I love his little crisis of faith and the implication that there is no greater purpose or reason, shit just happens in a war zone.

What else... idk lightning round:

- loved everyone cheering for Hawkeye after he drives the tank to the garbage heap except everyone who was in the OR with him who are all concerned.

- also loved Hawkeye driving a tank into a garbage pile just as a piece of symbolism

- love everyone going back to work after peace is declared, that just sums up the show right there, perfect note

- still fucking hate that salute for Potter. it’s fitting, I understand why it’s there, it’s the most appropriate goodbye for Potter, I still hate it.

- that said I do love the like, 20 minutes worth of goodbyes lol. it honestly worked great, pacing, order, each individual exchange, the goodbye party speeches, all pretty damn solid.

- I did not remember that BJ got that motorcycle bc he just took it when the Chinese musicians surrendered lmao. love him driving Hawkeye up to the helicopter pad in it though as a call back to Yalu Brick Road and Blood and Guts w/ Hawkeye acquiescing for once.

- I think it was a mistake to include the forest fire. I know it happened irl, hence why they incorporated it, but like it adds absolutely nothing but an awkward continuity error where it switches from night to afternoon even though they should’ve been bugging out before that, and a melancholy moment where Potter looks at the burned up support poles, which sucks because that’s not a fond home for them. Like come on, if the 4077 burned down in season 3 the MCs would’ve roasted hot dogs over the coals. Also the military march verson of the theme playing during the bug out scene... yeesh.

- but yeah overall solid finale, pretty much what you need after 11 seasons, gj everyone.

[variousqueerthings]

When i was writing it i also kept think about blindfolded Hawkeye, all evidence really does point towards him loving it...

He really does get lead and pushed around so often, I'd love to see someone's take on how it contrasts with his control and responsibilities as chief surgeon. Even outside of surgery, the contrast of him being with someone and then having a nurse or doctor coming in to ask for help or giving him an update on a patient and how he can swap between both mindsets ect.

I firmly believe that Hawkeye would valiantly try to be had by all of the nurses if given the time and opportunity. And any attention is good attention is the sort of mindset that Hawkeye would take and then promptly act like a terror until he got the attention he wants. I feel like he wouldnt have to do this with bj as much as others but he does anyways just to be a problem.

Margaret's a strange one bc it would make sense considering her personality and Hawkeye's interest but like, idk. I think its too much of a contrast in my head from his refusal to show her respect as a major, their relationship in the later seasons (in my head) hinges so much on their views of each other as equals and i think the power dynamics would be a mess.

Its kind of funny how they have Hawkeye acknowledge how sexist some of his actions were when i feel like i always remember there being more women in those earlier seasons. I might be misremembering but i feel like if theyre going to do that they could at least make female characters more core. Like not every woman has to be plot relevant to be featured.

Aro Hawkeye my beloved <3<3 I get him, he loves his friends so much it hurts and also is so so horny. He deserves to be held gently and then absolutely railed and then held again.

-majoranon

(listen okay sometimes I get worried that an ask is too personal or inappropriate so i hold off sending my name with it but the fact that you knew it was me is so funny. What tipped you of?)

Alright, post the first out of... maybe three (maybe four)! (the others of which will be about women in MASH and much shorter I think + blindfold Hawkeye + some more aro talks beyond this + idk, sometimes you’ve just got to see where the typing takes you)

THE FIRST THING I DO IS APOLOGISE FOR THE RAMBLES AND THE FACT THAT I COULD WRITE THIS BETTER AND MORE SOURCED IF MY BRAIN WAS WORKING AND I HAD TIME... I don’t, I’m sad....

I’d originally put your message into bits and was answering them one at a time, but then everything started being about a few of the same things, SO

trust me this all comes from your message 😂 

This post: aro Hawkeye 🤝 aro Margaret and my actual dream relationship on the show (or, you’ll never guess where this meta/headcanon is going, or maybe you will, idk)

ALSO KNOWN AS: I make the argument that Hawkeye and Margaret are already in an aromantic life-partnership and so her occasionally topping him is really just a part of the benefits for both of them (but also I barely make the latter half of that argument, I’m sorry, I go all over the place with this one)

I think (and I mentioned that in another post) that Hawkeye being chief surgeon and Very Good at his high-stress job is a feature in this entire (somewhat jokey, but also haha kidding... unless... you know?) headcanon -- lots of people with those kinds of jobs want to get to shut off any decision-making/responsibilities outside of that space and we see that a lot with Hawkeye (in a non-sexual sense). He really really hates being in charge when it’s not about the job 

I just rewatched Carry On, Hawkeye and I love how there’s that scene where Margaret is like “I should be in charge now” and Hawkeye basically goes “absolutely, have at it,” but because she’s so used to him being contrarian and bitchy with her, she thinks he’s arguing that she shouldn’t 

and it gives us this interesting line:

and then in the same episode having just given Margaret the reports she needed, if we’re going for the “Hawkeye and strong women/Hawkeye and I’m just a little guy/Hawkeye and putting himself on the table” well...

literally.... on the table....

(Margaret if you’re in charge you have to get used to a lanky weirdo lying about on your desk, that’s just who he is)

and then of course:

S I R (mr alan alda, you cannot tell me this guy has never been topped by a woman (we leave domming out of the discussion for today kids, but youknow.. it’s Margaret, she of the riding crop and vibrator))

Anyway this takes us neatly into “Margaret and Hawkeye” territory... 

*

1. first there’s all this stuff around sexuality and gender and romance and relationships happening between those two -- Margaret and “sir” and incorrect womanhood leading her relationships to not work and being openly sexual (and highly suggested dominating), Hawkeye and calling himself “aunt” and being a motherhen and all the being pregnant jokes, and being stepped on jokes, and “joking” about being married to men, etcetcetc -- 

of course the crux of which is that amazing conversation they have in “Stars and Stripes” in which it’s made textual how similar they are in their ideas about relationships. One of the main reasons I like to hc them as aro is that the way they phrase it is so... vague.... they can’t pinpoint why it never works out for them, time and time again, other than “they can’t change who they are,” and they’re looking for a “custom fit,” but at least with Hawkeye he’s been shown to “fall in love” with people very fast (Erika, Kyung Soon, Inga, etc) and (due to the nature of syndication) get over those relationships again/fall in love with someone new just as fast -- and a note on Erika is that he’s literally suggesting marriage and she’s the one to shut him down (in an also very aro way)

not to mention Carlye whom he proposes to have been in love with for years/never gotten over, but when given the chance for a do-over doesn’t leap at the chance... again because of vague “you choose your job over romantic relationships” reasons (any aromantic who can relate to that reasoning/has literally scoured for historical people who were described that way, raise your hands) 

with Margaret you do get the sense that she’d wanted these relationships/that she invests in them, but that the men can never accept her as she is (which Hawkeye does -- and he doesn’t even do it on purpose, to begin with they’re scratching and clawing at each other as we all know), so you see, she’d love to be in a romantic relationship if only she were a completely different person, but alas she can’t be and so she’ll never be a correct woman (again, any aro who’s felt that connection between brokenness and incorrect gender and aroness raise your hands...) and to stretch that one even further, the imagery in “Dreams” of her in the wedding dress with those bodies of men in her bed and the miscarriage-looking blood-stain, it’s all... very evocative of that same incorrect/broken woman, who will never get those things that society promises are what brings happiness that she won’t have and maybe doesn’t even want, but what’s the alternative being offered here? 

dead bodies and a lifetime of being alone?

*

2.  I think it’s interesting that you said that because Margaret’s and Hawkeye’s later relationship hinges on them being equals that the power dynamics would be a mess, when that respect is actually the very thing that makes me think of them being perfect for each other in this scenario – there’s a lot of trust and vulnerability that goes into that, especially considering aforementioned gendered expectations and the ways they both already fuck around with them, and how well they know each other at that point. And if I’m gonna take “Inga” at face value, Hawkeye isn’t as out about his (in this headcanon) preferences as one might have thought, so being vulnerable with a stranger? Or someone who isn’t as under his skin as Margaret is?  

What I do wonder about is whether later seasons Hawkeye is… all that interested in sex? Overall? Comparatively? Sure, there’s the occasional “Hawkeye has a date” or “Hawkeye does some flirting (with friends),” but – I will go more into this in my next post about women in MASH – when he talks to Marina in opening s10 about how he’s not treated women right in the past + has seen too much to ever be wide-eyed again, it is both good reasons to blow her off, and also something I definitely read at face value.

It also goes into something someone said on a post (I’m sorry I cannot remember where) about how later seasons had less sex, but also less homoeroticism hand-in-hand with that, but also that it’s just that the tone is overall – for Hawkeye more than any other character (he frequently gets The Narrative end of the stick, while everyone else is having a bit of a laugh) – less light-hearted at that point, and also it may have had to do with how they wanted to write the women who did come on the show (again, for next post). My point is that it all adds up to make him seem both Really Really Tired and Much Less Interested In Sex, and then as a consequence gives it a fun read of maybe he's less interested in sex, because he’s so damn tired?

In that scenario is he looking for an occasional fun time with his good friend Margaret Houlihan who maybe would step on him wearing heels (a thing he has canonically lamented her not doing at one point on the show) if he asked nicely and called her sir? Or is it that by the time they become good enough friends that he might trust her and she might trust him with these sexual and gender transgressions, he’s not in a place to try and make anything like this happen at all, because he’s just… tired?

But overall, I do think out of anyone at the 4077th… except for maybe Klinger (and also Sid, if we’re going beyond-but-adjacent), Margaret is the person who might be able to accommodate for Hawkeye the best, and Hawkeye might be able to give Margaret something she doesn’t entirely know how to balance with other men (the one downside is that technically Margaret would wanna be doing something like this with a guy like Trapper – bigger/more traditionally outwardly masculine, but it’s not like she doesn’t find Hawkeye attractive/I don’t think it would be a total dealbreaker – anyway, also smthinsmthin Hawkeye and Margaret are often attracted to the same kinda guy… as for women, I think Hawkeye is pretty broad, while Margaret likes Strong Women (similar to the men))

Meanwhile Margaret, it feels like, has prepared herself for this lifetime of loneliness, except she’s got this family all around her and maybe this guy who’s also not looking for normative relationship structures and is also Not Correct in vague, unspoken (queer) ways. But maybe, again, around the time where it could conceivably be going on, neither of them are in that headspace or maybe they can get each other out of the more tragedy-filled-careening-towards-the-end-of-the-narrative headspace, I can’t say for sure until I’ve finished the show

and speaking of that unknowable space...

What about after the show then?

*

3. So here’s some stuff I can’t know until I’ve finished it -- I don’t know where Hawkeye ends up and I don’t know where Margaret ends up (or anyone else for that matter), but I do think they’re the two characters who are the most conflicted at this point and likely will be right through to the end 

Margaret has made a choice to not get into a romantic relationship with anyone unless they understand her as she is, and so to all intents and purposes has practically sworn off romantic relationships -- this is also framed as her putting her career first, although not entirely. It’s more like she’s putting herself first, but also… there’s something there that doesn’t quite fit. It’s certainly more possible for her to stick with the military than to conform to a housewife ideal, because she’s been with the military her whole life, but she also no longer idealizes what it is and stands for. I really do wonder where she’ll be by the end and I sort of assume she’ll stay with the military, but I also read that somewhat through the lens of disappointing, but expected romances.

Because she’s changed a lot. I don’t think the military really is her home, but I don’t think she knows of anywhere else to go. So I wouldn’t be surprised if she stays with it – I think it would be in character – I just think it would be bittersweet. Better than a marriage, but also not as good as she could do if she could unpack some more of those vague ideas that niggle in her brain (it’s queerness, but not just that, but this read of her is based around that aromanticism in particular).

And meanwhile Hawkeye is just a mess. Idk, I can’t see that changing. I also can’t see where I’d place him after the war, because I can’t see him as okay in that movie-lotr Frodo Baggins Can Never Go Home way. I can’t see anyone as technically “okay,” but I don’t think he has anyplace where he could go to attempt what people call “resuming a normal life.” Hell, I’m not even entirely sure I could see him continuing as a surgeon (that episode with the surgeon who completely breaks down is uh… well, it’s not there for nothing). Similar to Margaret, but with added PTSD, there’s all that Vagueness niggling at his brain, which maybe angers him, because he already knows he’s a big ol bisexual who falls for married men, so what gives? And he doesn’t even have a fallback like the army. At best he might simply be a surgeon or a general practitioner, but you know… The Horrors. I can’t see him as anything but haunted for the rest of his life

And so thinking of a dream scenario where they both somehow make it and it’s not just “trying to get by (trying to get by in the army, trying to get by back in Maine, trying to remember what “home” is supposed to be)” I’m like… what if they just moved in together and tried to deal with the Vagueness together, same as they’ve done multiple times on the show? 

(And sidenote I maybe should’ve gotten into earlier, it’s so interesting that their romantic travails are shared with one another more than any other character -- Hawkeye is the person who knows the most about what was going on with her and Frank/Don/Sully, and she knows about him and Kyung Soon, and the aforementioned Big Conversation about The Revolving Heart Of Korea, which is said by Margaret, but is really the both of them)

(sidenote: Hawkeye is consistently the person who makes her smile like this the most)

(other other sidenote: “double-solitaire” ought to be codeword for queerplatonic aro partnership?????)

(other other other sidenote: literally just watched “Birthday Girls” in which Margaret rails against getting sympathy, but in this one she accepts it so readily from Hawkeye, and has done multiple times ever since the episode with the dog)

Margaret is the woman (maybe even the person) that Hawkeye knows best/has Hawkeye’s number and has done from very early on (but now she’s incredibly fond of that nr), Hawkeye is at least 10% of Margaret’s perfect man, it would be a great beard for the both of them, and they’d be able to draw a lot of comfort from each other.

And you know... they See Each Other and don’t expect the other person to change the core of themselves to fit, and they could challenge one another to become their most truthful selves better than anyone else could 

*

SO IN CONCLUSION WOULD MARGARET DOM HAWKEYE (is barely the question that’s been answered in this long fucking post): IT DEPENDS 

early seasons Hawkeye would have been SO up for it, but Margaret would not + it wouldn’t have been great for either of them I think? Although, sometimes they got along, even then, so maybe off the back of an episode like that... (but I do think it matters that they never canonically have sex until “Comrade in Arms”)

later seasons Hawkeye may have been too depressed for sexual frolicking and Margaret was going through an identity crisis, so idk, somewhere in between all of that somewhere? 

POST seasons Hawkeye and Margaret... maybe? depending on where you puttem? if they get to spend time together?

would they at the very least have fantasized about it? Oh yeah, absolutely!

I leave you with this image:

[midnightsconspiracy]

Recollection

Recollection - @midnightsconspiracy

Summary: A drunk night ends with you in your bosses bed, but he won’t admit to it until someone else makes a move

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1248

Requested: Yes!!

‘The reader is new to the unit and Hank and the reader went to Molly’s one thing land to another and the reader wakes up in Hanks bed naked. She and Hank both decide not to talk about it but once Hank sees other males hitting on the reader he cannot hold back his attraction to the reader.'

A/N: Started rewatching Chicago Fire so want to start writing about them soon after I get through my current requests

Masterlist

Being new to the unit was a scary thing, everyone watching you, judging you, monitoring you to see whether you fit in or not. It was like have a bunch of spies lurking in the darkness watching and waiting for you to mess up just a little bit. You had bought it down to the fact they didn’t trust you yet, having only worked there for a few days so far, and you understood that completely, you’d been the same to newbies when you had worked in the narcotics unit. But, today you had finally proven yourself, having covered for Ruzek against an offender who had managed to get a one up on him, showing them that you could be a trusted member of the unit. That had led you to receive an invitation to the prestigious Molly’s for a couple of drinks with the rest of your colleagues, even being told that on this rare occasion the Sergeant would be joining you as well. This was a huge success in your eyes not only were you gaining the trust of your fellow detectives but potentially the sergeant too, having not really had any interactions with him since joining. His reputation was one you had always heard, through whispers of other officers and detectives, telling you of his dangerous antics and dirty tactics. But of what you had witnessed, he seemed like a decent man, always doing things with the intention of protecting himself and the unit which you admired, despite it not always being the most morally correct way. So as you entered the bar, settling down in the booth with the rest of the team, you tried to strike up a conversation with the man, wondering if his reputation really proceeded him. But he seemed to reject your small talk, instead turning to Olinsky and Lindsay smiling and laughing with them, leaving you to converse with the rest. None of them really seemed interested though, wanting to talk to those they already knew instead of you. So the only way around the problem that you could think of was to drink. And so that’s what you did, order drink after drink, the others joining in, deciding that maybe you were a fun person after all. Halfway through the night, even Voight had decided maybe you weren’t that bad, not only discussing your past job and life but making each other laugh.

At some point during the evening, things started to become blurry, the alcohol finally getting to your brain, your recollection of events starting to develop holes in it. You could vaguely picture moving over to the bar in order to get yourself another beer, being joined by your Sergeant after placing your order with Hermann. You had stayed there for what you assumed was a couple of hours, the previously friendly conversation turning riskier by the second. But it hadn’t made you uncomfortable that your boss was flirting with you, in fact, it was the opposite, you had embraced it thinking highly of the man. He was handsome in your eyes, with a friendly personality which you had found out that he only exposed once he had warmed up to you, something that you had apparently done during the span of that one evening. The last thing you could remember was walking to his car, for what you thought would be to take you home, but obviously, that was one part of the evening you had misremembered.

Because now you were in an unfamiliar bed, naked, with a figure facing away from you. How you had got there was unknown, the time between the car and now currently a black hole, absolutely nothing coming to mind when you thought about it. But one of the questions was answered, as the unknown person turned around, pulling you into them further from the hand that was now clutched around your waist. Your features struck with confusion as the person hugging you tightly was your boss, Hank bloody Voight. You froze, staring at him, not knowing how to react to the situation you were in, choosing to try and escape back to your apartment. Wiggling your body out from beneath his arms, you fumbled around the room, trying to remain as quiet as possible as you retrieved all of the missing clothes that were thrown around.

That day you went to work as normal, you tried to think back to what had happened the previous night, hoping that seeing your other colleagues would encourage your other memories to appear. But that route seemed to be a bust, still coming up empty of what exactly had happened. The only thing that did come back were snippets of your and Hank's sexual escapade, all coming back in small increments at inconvenient times during your workday. One thing that did remain consistent throughout the day, was that you and the Sergeant were both refusing to talk about it, completely avoiding each other and the subject. However the others acted as if nothing had changed, well because to them nothing had, so they went about their days, solving crime and joking with all the team. However, one new thing from last night was Detective Halstead’s ‘friendliness’ towards you. Any time you were in the break room or had a free five minutes he would come up to you, flirting in front of everyone, not caring about anyone else hearing, despite the no in house dating rules set in place. He was relentless to the point where you were wondering if this was a dare or not, making you very uneasy in the process.

You weren’t the only one who it was making uncomfortable. In his office, Voight was seething, Jay was not only acting out of line with the unit’s rules but also the fact that his detective liked you. He had originally planned to talk to you about what had happened last night, but he couldn’t stop the anger he felt from acting out in that moment. Shouting you into his office, he slammed the door as you entered, getting you to take a seat as he prepared himself for the talk he was about to have.

“I wanted to talk to you about last night,” he started, refusing to look you in the eye. Nervous about what he was saying, but still keeping his tough exterior.

“Ok?” You answered unsure whether he wanted more or less following your interaction previously.

“I don’t appreciate you leaving my bed without me knowing Y/N,” he stated, sounding harsh but the flirty glimmer in his eye gave him away completely.

“I'm sorry I didn’t realise you thought it was more than a one-night thing.” By this point, you’d guessed what he wanted, both his words and demeanour telling you. But confusion still took over, why out of all the females at that bar last night had he chosen you?

“Of course it was, I don’t do one night stands” he assured before continuing on,

“There’s just something about you that I’ve noticed since you walked in, but I just couldn’t pinpoint it until last night,” he smirked, knowing you were probably flustered from his declaration considering you were his employee and one who had just joined at that. Keeping the air of mysteriousness around him, he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, before leaning down and whispering the words,

“That's the last time I want you leaving my bed without me knowing alright?”

----------

Taglist: @mileika @Redpoodlern @ohitshanksgirlxo @Chazubagi@scarletsoldierrr @cindydoll2

Want to join my taglist? Click Here

[mego42]

207 Discussion Q’s

shout out and thank you to @pynkhues for putting these together even though she wasn’t gonna be here this week

1. What was your favourite scene of the episode? Tell us why!

obvs the dubby but underrated fav is Ruby and Jane in the closet, idk exactly why but I am starved for the families interacting with each other content (screw the timeline, the most unrealistic aspect of this show is that they aren’t constantly in and out of each other’s houses with ben and sara continually being called on to babysit) so this little snippet makes me levitate

2. Was there any scene that missed the mark for you? And if so, how?

the annie and noah scenes for sure. I mostly feel betrayed bc I really liked them the first time I watched (i have a lot of built in affection for sam huntington let me live) and now I’m like BEGONE FOUL BETRAYER and feel pre-emptive fatigue over annie’s taste in men and how that’s not going to get better any time soon

3. I know time does not exist in the Good Girls universe (or in reality anymore), but let’s start with a timeline question! The implication of the opening montage is that a bit of time has past since Beth strongarmed the partnership with Rio at the end of 2.06. How long do you think it’s been? And more importantly, what do you think these early days of their partnership looked like?

I tend to lean towards at least 2 months, maybe more based on:

the number of shoeboxes and how many times Beth’s shown making a closet deposit

how lived in their annoyance over Beth’s dividing her time and Rio pushing back feels

the implication (at least how i read it) that Rio’s annoyance stems from having to track Beth down which presumably implies they’d grumbled their way into a semi-functional working relationship prior (supported by their ease with each other in 208) and if the montage has only been a month, that would be a maximum of 4 meetings and I don’t particularly think that’s enough time for them to get over being extremely prickly with each other

the fact that Beth goes to Rio for help when Jane’s missing (again, to me implies a longer period of time to get over some of their antagonism than a max of 4 meets)

I imagine their initial partnership went something like Beth being a smug brat about forcing her way in, Rio being deliberately unhelpful and trying to force her to admit she’s in over her head (while still keeping enough of an eye on things that his money isn’t jeopardized), Beth stubbornly refusing to and finding ways to rise to the occasion, Rio being grudgingly impressed, Beth being annoyed with herself for how pleased she is over that. Lather, rinse, repeat until they’ve worn a cantankerous but bizarrely comfortable groove into each other.

meanwhile, Mick, Annie and Ruby are absolutely disgusted by everything happening in front of their eyes.

4. The first scene between Ruby and Turner in this episode is a really dynamic one! It’s pretty clear that Ruby’s afraid of Turner, but what do you think Turner thinks of Ruby?

I think he sees a big cartoon canister labeled "Beth Boland Bait"

5. Taking the kids to the drop was a pretty big mistake! What do you think Beth should’ve done in this instance? Do you think saying no again to Rio was an option?

CALLED BEN OR SARA FOR A BABYSITTING ASSIST. For fucks’ sake.

And yeah, I think she could’ve said no to Rio but he would’ve kept her cut of that drop and, even worse, would’ve been able to hold the fact that she didn’t deliver that one time over her head forever more.

6. The krav maga teacher offers some sage advice telling Dean to not order the hit and instead just divorce his wife, haha. Do you think that he thought the baby hitmen would come through for Dean? Or do you think he was deliberately setting Dean up to get robbed?

I choose to believe the krav maga teacher knew exactly what kind of an idiot Dean was and set him up because the dude clearly had at least two brain cells to rub together and anyone with two brain cells to rub together would never get tangled up in a murder plot with Dean standing on the street corner telling random bystanders in detail how he wants to kill the guy that fucked his wife what do you mean established means and motive Boland.

7. During Ben and Annie’s tense conversation, Ben tells Annie that she’s hard to keep track of - she’s parent mom, cool mom, sketchy mom. In a lot of ways, this feels like a parallel to Ruby talking to Beth in the last episode and calling her ‘drug Beth, gun Beth, human trafficking Beth’. What do you make of this? And how do you think it relates to the show’s themes?

I defer to @foxmagpie’s answer because I like it a lot. 

8. The scene with the girls in the house! Tell me all your thoughts please!!!

I love this scene a lot

Beth’s channeling Rio in general but also specifically in 201 you will never ever change my mind

Sometimes I lie awake at night wishing Rio had seen it

Prayer circle that he sees a version of it in s4

Can you imagine the nightmare level of boner he would get? The sheer narcissism!!

Ruby’s obvious wish for new friends is The Most Valid

I really love the main drug den guy, I love Blake Shields’s energy, it makes the scene crackle, and I wish they’d bring him back purely bc he’s gr9

9. Annie meets Noah in this episode! What do you think of their introduction to one another? And how would you rate Noah on the scale of ‘Garbage Annie Love Interests’?

at least he’s not her therapist I guess

10. Beth has two pivotal and emotionally revealing fights this episode - one with Dean and the other with Rio. How do these fights compare? And what do you think they tell us about her respective relationship with them?

UUUNNNNNFFFFFFFF

I L O V E how hard the show goes on Dean’s obsession with Beth and Rio as the primary source of his angst

the fact that he’s trying to rope Stan into murder while looking for Jane who isn’t even MISSING but Dean had NO IDEA bc instead of giving a shit he went straight to HOW CAN THIS BE THAT GUY’S FAULT

I love how clearly they delineate that it isn’t about Beth but specifically about someone else ~*~taking~*~ Beth from him and how emasculated that makes him feel (something something something the storyline opens with the krav maga guy choking him out and then telling him to divorce her and Dean being like I reject your rational and logical solution bc it doesn’t punish the man who touched my property, idk i have a half baked thought there but i can’t pull it out of my brain)

and then it’s all underscored how little Dean’s worried about Beth and her safety by him bringing her work up specifically as a gotcha (which, unless I’m forgetting something, is p much the only context Dean ever brings it up in besides maybe the sit down fight but that’s again, about Beth acting out vs genuine concern)

Meanwhile, this is contrasted with:

Beth flipping tf out at the mere suggestion Rio would ever hurt her children, showing how deeply and instinctively she trusts him in regards to her children aka what’s been established as her Most Important Priority over and over (in the same breath that she rips into Dean for losing Jane in the first place)

which is doubled down on her immediately going to Rio for help

and he is FURIOUS at her, but the thing he leans hard on isn’t how she could have jeopardized the business deal (aka his money, what’s been established as his Most Important Priority over and over) but how she jeopardized herself and how badly she can fuck up if she doesn’t take this seriously

putting himself in a vulnerable position (presumably burning a connect, letting on that Beth means something to him beyond business) to look out for Beth’s emotional well-being

And then, just to drive it home a little further, @sothischickshe pointed out the Beth and Rio fight over Beth’s self preservation is directly paralleled with Stan freaking out at Ruby over the IA stuff because he’s worried about her and I had to go and stare at a blank wall for a few minutes to calm down.

anyway, draw your own conclusions.

11. Ruby takes Jane being missing as an opportunity to try and find evidence on Beth for Turner and, in the process, finds Jane too. How do you think this scene captures Ruby’s moral dilemma? And do you think it’s a satisfying turning point in the Ruby-Turner arc?

I struggle a lot with the Turner and Ruby plot specifically because I HATE that Turner’s ruthlessly leaning on Ruby as the weak link but I’m also ferociously attracted to him so I’m less bothered by it than I feel like I should be so mostly I just try not to think about any of it.

Idk, I see it in some ways as a continuation of Ruby’s fight with Beth and Annie in s1 where Annie said she isn’t blood. They put Ruby on the outside but when push comes to shove, Ruby still puts the two of them above her own family. As far as I’m concerned, Annie still owes Ruby a massive apology for that. Beth I let off the hook a little because by the end of the season she’s ready to turn herself in to make it all go away for all of them (I think, unless I’m misremembering, which is entirely possible bc I don’t think I’ve ever rewatched all of 213)

12. RIO GETS BETH THE DUBBY!! That’s it, that’s the question. Please discuss.

I think a lot about how the gesture is so baldly honest neither one of them can face it either at all (Rio) or without taking a shot first (Beth) which, now that I’ve typed it out, is also an interesting flip of their general MO bc under normal circumstances I’d put Rio down as the one that, of the two of them, is more willing to face stuff whereas Beth’s the one that hides from it.

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 5x11 Swan Song

Wow. Selling your kids into slavery, just wow!

Wait, how did Rumple get the wavy sword. Is that the wavy sword?

I can’t wait for Emma to stop being the Dark One, oh my God.

Wait, why is Zelena so sure the Dark Ones won’t attack her?

Robin, that pointy arrow isn’t gonna do anything against the Dark Ones. 

Why doesn’t Regina just teleport them away??

Aaah! Get away from Snowing!

Henry, run!

Why can’t they just stay away from the ferry?

This was really freaking awful of Dark Hook. I mean, even Rumple would never try to kill all his loved ones as the Dark One. What the hell?! He tried to Orphan Emma and baby Neal and kill Henry, who’s a freaking child!! This was a step too far. I don’t know what the writers were thinking here. The very fact that he tried to kill Emma’s son seems irredeemable. I don’t think a season 1-season 3 Emma would ever forgive that. I don’t even think season 4 Emma would. It’s just unrealistic that anyone would forgive their lover for trying to kill their child and parents, consumed by darkness or not. Step too far.

I think fire and brimstone is worse than the Underworld, unless you’re to be tortured like Hook. Why did Hades torture Hook so much, anyway?

Is that the only time Regina calls him Killian?

They missed such a huge opportunity, not having Regina face her victims in the underworld. It had a good possibility for growth.

It’s weird seeing Hook have power over Regina like that. 

Didn’t Colin say they did it in that carriage? Or am I misremembering? Ah well, I like to think of them having had a few sexual encounters as canon. He totally did it with Cora too.

Oh God, this is horrible!! Her whole damn family! This was beyond cruel to all those involved.

Oh yeah. When Rumple went out back to get Excalibur, didn’t he tether it to himself or something. In that moment he made the decision to become the Dark One again, I think.

How the heck did she know how to find his father? And how mean, making it part of the deal that he kill a parent too. Maybe it made her feel better that way. Wouldn’t it have been easier to control one of her guards via their heart and force them to kill her mother? Or even to control Hook with his heart?

Zelena, baby, you can’t call your kid Pistachio!! Omg. I’m headcanoning Robin Jr.’s middle name to be Pistachio!

Regina really doesn’t like those name options lol.

“The withered knob of that sad old man.” Oh my God!! I’m screaming!!!!

BULLCRAP!! No your memory does not freaking serve because you have to use dark freaking magic to control that wand and your magic wasn’t dark enough!! It’s nothing to do with power or believing in yourself, what the hell?! Regina must have done some dark crap recently to get that thing to work.

Zelena, just teleport away!

Zelena, noooo! Gonna miss her! She made this arc bearable! 

Killian, for God’s sake. Do something! Reverse it somehow!

How does he know that’s not Liam? I guess the straight hair?

He left more than a century ago. Killian is over one hundred years old at this point! I worked it out with the help of Baelfire arriving in Victorian England after Big Ben was created and Killian is at the very least 130 years old at this point in time! The timeline this season has been horrendous!

It’s very weird that that nurse ‘fell in love’ with a sleeping patient she’s never even communicated with and kissed him.

All this for freaking revenge. Leave the Charming’s alone!

I’m sorry? He doesn’t wanna hurt her?? He doesn’t wanna hurt her?? He wants to kill her entire freaking family! How is that not going to hurt her?

He’s doing this to get revenge on Rumple or Emma? Both? He’s saying he owes Emma, well then why doesn’t he just kill Rumple? Revenge achieved! He didn’t have to bring her family into this.

Killian: “And now because of that you get to watch everyone you live die.” Back the hell off!! Rumple had the darkness for years and he never would have killed Belle’s loved ones to spite her! Sure he would have killed her father but never out of spite for the person he loves!

Dark cs is so freaking toxic.

Killian: “Enjoy the time you have left with your family.” Get the hell out! Beyond evil! Nothing angers me like this episode! This was the final nail in the coffin for my love for cs. There was just no coming back from this in my opinion, especially because he acted perfectly normal before he remembered he was the Dark One.

Oh no!

How does Robin know the fairies will take Neal. What if no one thinks to look in the diner and he starves!!

Tbh I need to read an au where Emma raises her brother due to all this, though it will hurt like hell!

Henry: “So this is really it.” Hook (smiling): “I’m afraid it is, lad.” I am going to swear!! This is so unforgivable!

It is kinda out of order that he called his third son Liam after what he did to the first. It does kinda seem like he’s replacing him. 

That felt unnecessary. He just orphaned his little brother! He could have at least have made sure he was taken care of. How did Liam II age so much, anyway? I guess he wasn’t affected by the curse and wasn’t under Cora’s time freezing bubble somehow.

He should have absorbed the Dark One’s into the sword in the freaking first place!!

He did a 180 so fast.

How you gonna kiss him after he just tried to kill your whole family??! This was the first step in their relationship where they would just forgive each other for anything, no matter how toxic and would put their relationship above absolutely everything else, to the detriment of relationships with family. Like, he could quite literally kill her son and she’d probably forgive him.

Thank God! Emma got rid of that ridiculous outfit and hairstyle!! I am gonna cry happy tears for days!!

Aww. Henry called Belle!

Belle to Rumple: “you lied to me again! *makes out with him*. For the first time you were truly selfless.” Wtf Belle?! Did you not outright refuse to leave Storybrooke so you could get killed by a giant bear the other day because it was the ‘brave thing to do’, but then when your friends were in danger it was okay for Rumple to lie to you and tell you to leave? That makes no sense! This is kinda ooc and unrealistic. But then, is it ooc? It’s certainly the quickest she’s had a change of heart. And didn’t you just say you had to protect your heart from him like yesterday? I will never understand this woman. What a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle. Is she on drugs?

She can still hear the dagger!

I don’t get it. Didn’t Excalibur crumble? 

Rumple, why??

That small vile of magic was hella convenient!

Rumple has Emma’s power as well as every other Dark One’s. Wow! 

They are all bananas going to the underworld. Leaving their babies without parents for what could be forever! And taking Henry (a child!) to the freaking underworld where they might never come back and Rumple literally just said it was a place worse than hell, where you’d beg for death!

Fun family trip to hell!

Their feet are gonna get wet.

Emma, you’re still talking like that! Please, I beg of you, stap it!

Hell no. You do not get to take “I will always find you.”!

Thank God this arc is over!! At least the next one’s a little better, I think.

[rescue-ram]

So I just got done rewatching Yuri on Ice with my friend and oh my god??? Oh my GOD. It absolutely holds up in the rewatch, I was DYING and emotional and I feel so cleansed and healed and happy. Good show, good show, and hearing my friend absolutely losing his mind was good to me.

In some ways, it was actually better the second time? I’m thinking of the finale here. I was vaguely disappointed the first time I saw the last episode, and I think, in rewatching, it was because I didn’t particularly like Yuri Plisetsky on my first watch through and was very invested in Yuuri and his relationship with Victor. However, I have totally fallen in love with my rageson, and have gotten SUPER INVESTED in his relationship with Yuuri, and seeing him perform FOR him in his final skate, and aaaaaaaaah. AAAAAAAH.

I also realized I had misremembered the outcome of the GPF for the better part of a month- Otabek and JJ look similar, especially from a distance, so I got confused in my memory and thought Otabek had won third? Especially since in his introduction he’s shown winning third at Worlds so I think my brain just mushed that together and refused to accept JJ placing third.

It’s a little confusing, because the scoring system for skating IS rather esoteric, and I don’t have any background knowledge for it, so I’m just going off what I ‘see’, and when they make a point of showing JJ screw up almost every jump, and Chris (who placed 2nd in the GPF last year so we know he’s good) only makes like two mistakes, or Otabek, does excellently, place lower than him I’m just??? Very confused, haha.

Although as my friend and I were ranting about this, it occured to me this may be in keeping thematically with the show? Because a big theme of the show is love, and how loving other people makes you a better person, and JJ seems to be egocentric but in his heart he’s skating for his family and his fiancee, so maybe the narrative is ‘rewarding’ his love theme by having him place? Yurio is also ‘rewarded’ by beating Yuuri after he expresses his love (agape) for him by skating his heart out to keep him from retiring... IDK.

Also, lol, I’m sorry if anyone following me likes him but I somehow care EVEN LESS about Otabek the second time... I think the first time the “mystery” of who he was made an impression but now that I’m not surprised by him I just... I feel about him the same way I do Emil Nekola or Lee Seung-Gil? They were there, they were fine, they had a couple scenes I liked or that made an impression, but I just... don’t really care about them? And HONESTLY in someways I care MORE about Emil or Seung-Gil, because I have more of a sense of their personality. With Otabek I don’t have a real sense of him other than stoic, patriotic, and admires Yuri Plisetsky.

It’s hard, because I’ve just developed so many Feels about Yuri, and I want to read fic for him, but it seems like it’s literally all Yuri/Otabek, which... Like, I’m mostly fine with, in an abstract way at least, but OH MY GOD, I just don’t care about it on a personal level at all and it’s rapidly becoming a NOTP just through sheer exhaustion, lol.

In conclusion, CHRIS DESERVED BETTER TBH!!! And he’s still adorable in glasses lol