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This line. God, this line! It has been eating me up inside for 2 days now, because let's not forget, this line isn't about love, it's about trust. And that has implications that make me want to scream.
It's a direct reference to this moment earlier in the episode:
At the start of this discussion, Style and Fadel still have a kind of playful air about their conversation:
Style: Oh? Not even me? Fadel: You're at 80% at best. I feel like you're hiding something from me in the 20%.
In this exchange, though, there's a sense that Fadel is issuing a challenge, like there's something specific which Style can do to gain Fadel's full trust. And while Style knows there are things he cannot (yet) reveal to Fadel, I think a part of him is determined to be as honest as he can be, which is why he issues a challenge of his own by asking for more specificity:
Style: What do I have to do to gain your complete trust?
Part of this question is a simultaneously inquisitive and deflective - What (and why) do you think I'm hiding (something) from you? - but there's also a moment after Style finishes speaking where he stills and goes quiet that feels... genuine, weighty. Or, as @airenyah has pointed out in her meta on Style in episode 4, the "grounded[ness]" in Style's demeanour is a signal that Style means what he's saying in the moment. Maybe about his own desire to be worthy of Fadel's trust, maybe about how he genuinely does want this relationship to be real in whatever way that matters to Fadel.
I think Fadel sensed that too, because the moment looses all the lightheartedness it had before. Fadel pauses, and then gets a look on his face that just... breaks my heart. There's a sombreness there, like he knows he's going to have to say something that makes him sad. Fadel looks away, and then down, before he seems to steel himself and says:
Fadel: It'll never happen. No matter how much you love someone, I just don't believe that you can completely lay yourself bare in front of them.
Fadel says this like it's fact. Like what he's expressing is something foundational and true and irrefutable. It's not even about his doubt in Style's honesty, because this statement has no qualifiers or conditions put on it to connect it to Style. Rather this is what Fadel fundamentally believes about relationships and trust: he finds the very concept of being fully known and still accepted an impossibility.
Sure, maybe this is because of the falling out (or betrayal or disappearance) associated with the former lover; but I also think it might be because Fadel is acutely aware not only that he's hiding a rather big and dark secret (not to mince words, but: actual literal premeditated murder), but also about what it implies about Fadel. Because being able to kill another human, coldly and clinically and without remorse, takes a certain type of person. Because, yes, Fadel has lived through an absolutely harrowing and traumatising event (his parents' murder), but it's also undeniable that it changed him. Because there's something about Fadel that twisted dark and which he never quite got back. There's an anger, a hurt that colours every moment of his life; that enables him to look a man in the eyes, smile politely, and pull a trigger.
And at this point in their relationship, Fadel's understanding of Style is that he's... well, kind of innocent. Especially in comparison to Fadel and Bison, and even Kant.
Style, who easily reveals facts about his life which Fadel already knows (winning a car tuning competition), making Fadel doubt his own instincts about Style hiding secrets. Style, who also reveals the things Fadel doesn't know, like the tender and secret pain of a mother lost to cancer (which, now that I think about it, Fadel may also know) and his worries about a father who "lost his bearings for a bit" (which he probably doesn't). Style, who tries to comfort Fadel in his own loss by offering a safe space and a sympathetic ear.
Style, who doesn't just see Fadel for his tragedy, but is asking to be given the chance to accept all of Fadel as a person. Style, who not only wants but has the capacity, to be the only person Fadel needs to rely on. Style who, despite the sea of differences between them, understands Fadel on a level that is so very foundational.
I'm going to slightly segue and mention something that may not resonate with everyone, but really hit me in the gut this episode: because I lost my father when I was 16 after he battled cancer for 2 painful years. And this revelation about Style has totally shifted and coloured everything Style has done in a new light for me. Because not only does this totally explain Style's sometimes almost stubbornly childish demeanour (it's common in adults who've had to 'grow up' too early), but also why Style shows seemingly random flashes of insight and maturity when they are most crucial. Notably, Style has this almost instinctive sense of when he needs to back off a sore point with Fadel that I couldn't quite put my finger on until this episode.
I've seen a few jokes about Style's awkward subject change, but I've actually got a friend who I hold very dear to my heart who was one of the only people to give me a sense of normalcy and comfort when my dad was on his last few days and then at his funeral. And part of that was the instinctive way she would know when I needed to just. Not be a grieving daughter for a few minutes. To get a small respite from the overwhelming hopelessness and sense of impending loss. To get a moment to breathe and gather my strength, because knowing I was never going to see my dad again, or hear his voice, or hold his hand was tearing me apart back then. Sometimes she'd talk to me about college drama, sometimes she'd introduce a new kpop video to me, sometimes she'd just ask me what I wanted to eat and take me to go have a meal with her. And sometimes there really just isn't anything else to say other than "I'm sorry." Nothing you say - nothing you can say - is going to ever, ever make this grief go away, and in most cases, it was better when people (especially those who couldn't really understand) didn't try.
And I think if you look at Fadel very closely, there's a moment of genuine surprise (Fadel wasn't expecting the subject change at all) and then... something that looks like fondness mixed with exhausted relief. Because I don't think Fadel was ready to talk about his parents yet. This was honesty he wasn't ready to give Style, mostly prompted because Style himself had willingly been so vulnerable that a part of Fadel wanted to reciprocate. But further down that path lies not only his darkest memories, but also the connection to the part of his life he is not willing to share with Style yet. So this subject change is a relief, it's a blessing, but it's also Style knowing when he shouldn't push any further with Fadel's fragile heart.
Which brings me back to how well the episode's theme of trust (both deserved and undeserved) was woven in this episode. This is true on multiple levels and characters but I'm not even going to attempt to touch Kant in this post because... Lord, that is beyond me at the moment. Someone else needs to do that, pretty please, so I can reblog it and scream.
It starts, somewhat unexpectedly, with Fadel asking for entrance into the intimate spaces of Style's life.
So, this episode was not about Fadel's fear of his own feelings, desires, or even affection for Style - that appears to be fully addressed in episode 4. I think that's why we see Fadel be so physically affectionate and indulgent of Style in this episode. He's come to terms with his lust for Style's body (hence his comfort in initiating sex), he's accepted Style as his boyfriend and so can enjoy Style's playful teasing (still reluctantly, but Fadel is still an introvert even if he's mostly enjoying Style's rambunctious nature), and give into Style's (and Bison's and Kant's) cajoling with relatively little fuss.
He's even comfortable toying with the edges of revealing his darker and more sinister side by reminding Style implicitly about how violent Fadel has the potential to be. Recall that Fadel knows Style knows some of his capacity for violence; he just doesn't know how very thoroughly Style is aware of the full scale of this truth. It does help that Style evidences no actual fear and, in fact, looks positively euphoric. Like, buddy, pal, dearest one... please control yourself.
And yet something very, very telling is the way the show makes it a point to depict Fadel very deliberately getting drunk during the double date. Even before the date has started, Fadel looks to be about half a beer in and we see him constantly drinking, drinking, drinking during the whole date. From the conversation about trust he has with Style while Kant and Bison are being off key and adorable about it, to after Kant leaves and Bison gets worried. And we've seen Fadel cope with emotional and mental distress with alcohol before, so we know that Fadel is internally fighting some kind of very intense battle even as he is also very clearly enjoying moments with Style on this date (most notably when they're dancing by the bowling lanes and when Style asks him to go home with him).
So here's my take: rather than being about love, this is about Fadel fighting to hold onto his own philosophy on relationships and trust. Because as much as I do believe Fadel believes he's telling the truth when he tells Style that 100% trust is "impossible", I think it's clear that's not what he wants.
What he wants is to finish this last job so that the only thing he can't be honest about with Style will finally stop being a factor in his life. What he wants is to fully and completely reciprocate the openness Style seems to be giving Fadel. What he wants is to switch off his brain and let his heart lead for once, to stop fighting a battle he has no desire to win anymore, only he can't. Trust (not love) is Fadel's final frontier, and one which he can't quite give up in spite of himself.
Which is why I think Fadel intentionally gets himself drunk here. Because he wants to let his guard down around Style. He wants to open himself fully, he wants to "lay himself bare" for Style, he wants Style to know the full truth and accept him anyway - and he gets so close, but can't quite get there - because he doesn't know that Style already has.
When Style says this, Fadel thinks it's empty words, not knowing that Style has long passed the bar Fadel thinks is insurmountable. And just like Style was able to offer safety and reassurance to the vulnerability Fadel was showing in episode 4, Style instinctively gets to the core of Fadel's darkest fears again:
Style: One day, I'll be your 100%.
This isn't (just) a promise that Style will wear Fadel's stubbornness down, or that Style will be worthy of Fadel's 100% (which, already, has me in tears, ngl). Beyond that, this is Style promising Fadel isn't ruined for this; that it isn't too late, that whatever hurts and wounds Fadel has can be made whole again. That the kind of honest and all-encompassing and unconditional trust which Fadel says is impossible can, in fact, be his. That Fadel still has the capacity to trust and be trusted the way he so desperately, painfully longs for.
I know a lot of people have said Style in this episode is writing cheques he has no ability to honour, but I think it's more layered than that. Because in a very significant and profound way, Style is wholly deserving of Fadel's trust. Because in all the ways that Fadel has ever known he should want, Style actually IS worthy of his trust. Style knows the truth Fadel is hiding, knows what this man is capable of, knows the danger of being in his arms, knows the likely nonexistent future Fadel has to offer him -- and wants him anyway. Style is a man who would stare into Fadel’s darkness and reach out first. Strip away the complication of Kant being blackmailed and dragging Style into his mission, and Style is literally perfect for Fadel. He is exactly what Fadel wants (and possibly has wanted for a very long time). He is, in fact, exactly what Fadel needs to ever experience anything beyond the shadow of a life he's had so far.
But oh, the cruel narrative means that Style is also, simultaneously, painfully undeserving of Fadel's trust; and this is something Style is very much aware of. I think that's why he's trying so very hard to be worthy in all the other ways he can be. Style's awareness of what Fadel is hiding enables Style to (counterintuitively) be completely honest about his feelings for and about Fadel even as he cannot reveal his motivations. So he gives Fadel as much honesty as he can: offers the vulnerability of his own pain and hurts; the comfort of his true understanding and acceptance.
And just as Fadel's vulnerability in the abandoned factory was met with Style choosing a form of physical connection that prioritised Fadel's pleasure (it's made very clear that Style is jerking Fadel off and that all his focus in that moment was on Fadel, not his own pleasure), so too is this moment met with Style very intentionally choosing to worship Fadel's body with all the tenderness and genuine emotional weight that Style wanted Fadel to have in their first time in the storeroom.
Because, crucially, this was Style giving Fadel the chance to lay himself at least physically bare. This is the closest either of them can get to full honesty with the secrets they both are keeping. It's why Style tries so very hard to show the care and adoration and genuine feelings he has for Fadel. Why he makes sure that the vulnerability of Fadel getting himself as drunk and as relaxed and as trusting as Fadel can allow himself to be is tied only to gentleness and tenderness and pleasure.
Because Style actually knows that Fadel can't (and shouldn't) trust him in the way Fadel truly wishes to.
And as much as I believe that Style genuinely means this from the bottom of his heart, the horrifying full truth is that it is Style that has the metaphorical knife hovering over Fadel's chest. He is the one with the capacity to actually give Fadel a new scar that would truly matter. He is, in fact, the only one Fadel wants to fully trust -- and this, along with Style's compromised heart, makes it so that the circumstances will doom them both.
#this episode broke me in ways i wasn't ready for because of style's backstory so fair warning there's no level of objectivity whatsoever#i'm sure much as already been said about this line and this moment and i'm sorry if i'm just repeating someone else (please let me know!)#i haven't had the time or physical OR emotional capacity to actually read any meta on episode 5#so i apologise in advance if i screwed up anything but these are just my (somewhat disjointed and very emotionally driven) thoughts#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#fadelstyle#style sattawat#fadel#thk ep 5#thk meta#hui talks thk#hui talks thai bl#i understand why dunk said this scene was so hard and weighty and was his favourite now#(or at least i think this was the one he means?? I vaguely remember an interview where dunk talked about them talking#before they have sex and how emotionally charged it was)#i'll have to go through my tags and see if i talked about it#but either way our boys both did such excellent jobs this episode#as they have been doing every episode but each time i really am just... newly awed by their talent and my adoration for them grows <3#joongdunk#joong archen#dunk natachai
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one of those days
#*mine#mona rambles#tolkien#silm#maedhros#the silmarillion#i did warn I'd end up making one for him too. quick everyone act shocked <3#blaming withy for this one tho like#as if reading the shibboleth wasn't bad enough she literally just attacked me in the gc#''remember that maedhros dialogue in morgoth's ring'' WELL NOW I DO#withy tag
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“Seen a lot of people talk about this SCP. Looks cool.” I said. “I’m pretty desensitized to horror and fucked up shit at this point. Can’t be that bad.” I said…
Spoiler alert: It wasn’t that bad. It was actually way fucking worse than I could have ever imagined.

#My ass was NOT prepared#Remember to always look at the content warnings everyone#But no seriously I have never read something so perfectly disgusting and dreadful#How anyone can say modern scp is bad is beyond me. Props to the talented authors in a lot of these later entries fr#meme#shitpost#scp 8980#< Write it down. Bookmark it. Whatever. If you can stomach it? It's a must read#scp#scp foundation
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July 19 2015, Davepeta first appears on a mspaintadventures page. and now, almost 10 years later... you have one week left.
#homestuck#davepetasprite#davepeta#doodle tag#i meant this as an invitation to make fanart or something for their birthday but i couldn't think of anything so its like. a warning.#you have 1 week. remember them.#gif#eye strain#idk if the gif is bad on the eyes... but ask me to tag if... i like crappy effects.#also if youre reading this im dead. bye. sorry.#im just back because 10 years...i have to do something.#💚🧡
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MERSKELES PART 3!
Definitely not mermay anymore but here's the last 3 sirens I wanted to do
and some explanation on why I choose what I did under the cut
(little warning for parasites on fresh's section)
So from left to right
Dream is a golden colored koi carp fish, I picked it because they are very pretty and they represent a lot of positive things like luck and fortune, some people even wish on them to make their dreams come true :> I also thought of the legend where a golden koi fish climbs a large waterfall to turn into a dragon, so they have some mythical legends as well. In terms of the actual fish, Koi are very sociable and sturdy, they also live for quite awhile.
Nightmare is a coelacanth, he should probably be an octopus considering he has tentacles, but I really wanted to make him a coelacanth because I think they are neat. Coelacanth's are very old with the latest fossils being over 400 million years old, they were thought to be extinct until one was found in 1938, grandpa nightmare. They are also nocturnal, sleeping in caves during the day, they live deep in the ocean as well.
Fresh is actually a two in one, he is a rainbow parrotfish with a tongue-eating louse in his mouth. Out of alI the bright fish I did a parrotfish because I really like their gradients, and I think the magenta fins fit his jacket. He's a parasite inside of a Sans body, so I picked a fish parasite to go along with the fish half of his body. I chose the tongue-eating louse, a type of parasite that replaces a fish's tongue. It first severs the blood vessels to the tongue and once it falls off takes its place. feeding on nutrients and acting as a new tongue for the rest of the fish's life, very cool and terrifying.
#parasite#No irl photos or anything but warning for describing how the parasite invades a fish#Tongue eating louse dont affect parrotfish Im pretty sure but Im ignoring that for fantasy#Fresh was also a combo between the Rainbow and bicolor parrot fish for the colors I put rainbow on the sheet because it sounds cooler#I love coelacanths sm they are like one of the neatest fish#I remember really liking relicanth as a pokemon and then realizing it was actually a real animal???? Phenomenal#Also someone requested dust If youre reading this I think he would be an eel of some sort#maybe a Gulper eel?#Angler fish would be cool too but only the females have the classic light lure on their heads#The dragon koi legend Im pretty sure is the inspiration for magicarp and its golden shiny#I would say im done with fish for now but im not I love fish Ill probably do something else aquatic related at some point lmao#Mermay#its july :''')#my art#my utmv art#utmv#fresh sans#nightmare sans#dream sans#dreamtale#utau#undertale au#sans au#siren#mermaid
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Palestinian Campaigns Compilation
Hello everyone, we've gotten a lot of asks over the past week, and since there's been a lot of them, I decided to put them all in one post, which will include previous campaigns. I've done my best to pay attention to the ones that have been vetted.
All numbers are as of August 5, 2024
The Alanqar Family - €44,710 / €49,000
Mohammed Hijazi - €5,947 / €20,000
Jad Al-Haq's Family - $6,295 / $40,000
Doaa Jadalhaq's Family - kr68,784 / kr300,000
Safaa's Family - $5,120 / $75,000 goal
Mahmoud Alkhaldi's Family - $5,680 / $50,000 goal
Wafaa's Family - €13,340 / €100,000 goal
Youssef Al-Habeel's Family - £7,527 / £20,000 goal
Ghazi Younis's Family - $1,880 / $50,000 goal
Sohaip and Mohammed's Family - £202 / £6,000 goal
Abdul's Family / Paypal - $23,975 / $78,000
Please read their stories, all of which are written in their campaign pages as well as images and some videos. I will be linking this post to our pinned in case anyone wants to use this as a reference.
#I'm sorry. I wish I could do more.#For those reading‚ please keep talking about Palestine. No one is just a number.#It is also more than just Palestine.#Warning for graphic imagery in some of these campaign pages. But they are important stories if you will open them to read.#If not‚ remember that you can always just donate or share campaign posts.#I do not own a credit card‚ so online donations are difficult on my end.#Therefore I have been focusing more on local efforts for Palestine in my country instead that involve other mode of payment.#From Kurapika#Also please watch out for scams. We recently got sent a scam campaign and it was incredibly disheartening.#Just never ever let it make you lose hope. I hope it just fills you with determination instead.#Palestine#Free Palestine#Campaigns#Not Funnier As a Fictive
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please don’t be sad little sprout, you are loved 🌱 🖤
🌱
#🌱Thank you<33🌱#I guess my latest vent art post made some of you guys worried. I'm sorry ;;n;; )#but I'm alright. well.. kind of? Like I haven't done anything to myself kind of alright?#maybe I should explain bit about my situation but at the same time I don't feel comfortable to open up too much#but simply said it's about doing art as a job and mental health#Things haven't been going well but I am getting help for my mental health#This is all what I will say for now about my situation#I apologize again that I made you guys worried#but I do warn that I might post more vent art if I get enough energy to draw#this is just one way how I deal with my emotions#but if you don't like vent art I suggest to block the words vent and vent art#I remember tumblr has this option somewhere??#and uhh.. I don't really know how to end this post but thank you everyone who has been sending support<33#I might not know how to reply to them but I have read them all and I'm very thankful for all the support what you guys have given me🌱#Thank you🌱#ask#anon#me talking
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Saga, do you have any romance recs where the love interest is the beast/monster and the fmc is human? Possibly remains human? I hope this is ok to ask sonce Ik ppl have different preferences regarding these
I LOVE monsters mated to humans 🥰
But this actually had me wracking my brain for a lil bit sjxjjxjjc.
Primal Possession by Katie Reus is a shifter romance, and I think one of the first ones I ever read. I think this series/author has other human mates, but I may be mistaking it for something else.....
Mine to Possess by Nalini Sing is also a shifter romance, although there's a bit of lore that may be difficult to get used to if you're not comfortable with romantasy flash info-dumps. The main character stays human, but she has some non-human qualities she receives.
The Vampire Who Loved Me by Teresa Medieros also has a stays-human heroine. This is histrom, so your mileage may vary.
I'm sure if you're a romance reader you've already heard of Lothaire by Kresely Cole but I'll toss that one in too. Ellie starts off very human, and that is in fact one of the plot driving forces in the book. She does not stay human though, unfortunately 😔
If anyone else has any recs, pls let me know 🤲
#primal possession was the first romance novel I got the physical book for sjdjxjjc#warning for general Alpha Male jackassery for all of these#they are not what I would consider Modern Era Romances#still solid reads though <3#I /think/ I remember a couple others but I'm having a hard time remembering#I will let you know if they are#saga speaks
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OK I know last time I said this everyone told me to read the books (AND I WILL) but hear me out. I gotta get this brainworm outta my head.
I just so desperately need MB and Gurathin to both interact more, and also MB to have to pretend to be a human in a larger scale context. Like idk the team have to travel offworld somewhere, maybe they gotta get back into Port Free Commerce or somewhere else of similar nature to do something Import and and when they get picked up they're like "Oh fuck we gotta do something about the whole SecUnit situation" and I know this is riddled with plot holes but that's not the point. Hear me out. It's not about it being realistic it's about putting characters into situations.
They decide best course of action is to get MB to pose as a human they picked up, maybe from DeltFall or they fabricate personnel records and make up a fake profile or identity theft. They go make it some custom clothes, they're fussing around ensuring the inbuilt arm lasers are appropriately covered so no one notices, but so if shit hits the fan it can easily (and safely) still access them without setting itself on fire. They find some creative way to cover the access port. They make it a cap so it can more comfortably hide its gaze by lowering it's head more and hiding under it. It's all a hand-tailored process.
They sneak it past whatever security there is to get it onboard, they're now full scale espionage, no one expects the funny space hippies to be capable. It's able to help them bypass things and sneak itself onboard avoiding being noticed. Gurathin gets dumped to be it's handler/direct escort because it'd be funny seeing them get frustrated at one and other (and being augmented he can actually help it blend in better under the same guise and cover story).
Do you see my vision. Do you see it.
#I need to see if do an awfull job of trying to blend in#with gurathin nit picking its physical body language and mannerisms every 2 secconds#yes I'm aware of the irony! thats the neat part!#they have to train it how to walk like a person does#someone elboes it during a group conversation because it completely missed a social cue from a stranger and they're like HEY BUD REMEMBER#WE WARNED YOU ABOUT THIS#shy talks#not art#murderbot#DON'T#TELL ME TO READ#THE BOOKS AGAIN I STG
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There's this one fanfic centering around Alberu, it's called something like...silence of the sea? Silent sea? I remember the title having 'silence' and 'sea' ? I don't know, it's been very long since I've read it. But I LOVED LOVED LOVED that fanfic. It's a hurt no comfort, and God, that fanfic inspired me to actually write a scene in one of my fanfic. Like, the original fanfiction is so angsty. And just so heart breaking. The language. The metaphor. I like how the sense of identity was portrayed, because gosh, I've never read something like that. I loved Alberu so much (the author uses Alver, I believe) and just wanted to hug him,my poor baby. I can't explain how it felt while reading it. Like, my senses where overwhelmed, and I couldn't cry, because I didn't want to, but I felt so suffocated. The fic did a deep dive into Alberu's character, and gosh. And then there was Tasha, poor lady got a scare of her life. And in the end, it should've been sad, it was sad. But I couldn't help but feel satisfied when Cale got his karma. There's no romance in this fanfiction, it was rated mature (i think?) not for smut or anything, but like, suicidal thoughts? If anybody ever reads it, they should look through the warnings. It's very sad, dark, and just spiraling thoughts and standing at the edge, and just...I don't know. It had an open ending as far as I remember? Anyway, it's an amazing fanfiction. I don't remember the author's name, but it remains one of my favorite fanfiction centering around Alberu, along with cookie fairy.
#ao3#tcf#trash of the counts family#alberu crossman#alver crossman#warning tags#i suppose tgere are stuff that might trigger others#so if you’re reading#read at your own risk#but it is a masterpiece#i love love love it#still don't remember the author's name#or the fic name#but it was awesome#alberu centric fanfiction#cale#tasha#raon#they were also there#one if my favorite fics#ao3 fanfic#one of my fav fanfics
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anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??
#okay incoming rant about this series#i read the first book when i was 10 or 11 and i was absolutely obssessed with it. i read it so many times i had the entire story memorized#the issue was that i could not find the rest of the series anywhere. it was either sold out or out of stock#and then i found out that only the first 3 books had been translated into my first language so at that point i kinda gave up on them#anyway#flashforward to a couple of weeks ago#i was re organizing my bookshelf and on the back i found LYKY (is this how y'all are abreviating it??)#and remembred how much i loved it#and since i'm now fluent in english and was stuck at home recovering from a surgery i decided to download the entire series and read it#to find out what the fuck happened afterwards#long story short i read all six books in 4 or 5 days#and i haven't stopped thinking about them since#it's actually so funny how little information we have in the first book#i went all of these years thinking it was mostly a silly series about a boarding school for spies when actually SO MUCH happens afterwards#i can't believe i went all of these years unaware of zach goode's existence#truly character of all time#but also i can't stop thinking about how interesting it would have been if zach had come to hate the circle and his mom during the series#rather than before#make it a true enemies to lovers#and have us witness that portion of his character developement in real time instead of being told about it#like him slowly realizing through cammie and his time at gallagher that maybe what they were doing is wrong#i think it would have been very interesting to read#although let's be real it took me until halfway through book four to trust him and he was fully one of the good guys so..#but yeah i have a lot more to say but these tags are long enough#gallagher girls#okay i just want to add another funny anecdote about my experience with this series#my copy of LYKY has an age warning in the back recomending that readers should be above 13 yo to read it#and i distinctly remember finishing it and thinking the warning was kind of dumb bcs besides a few mentions of death and other heavier topi#nothing really happened#and now i realize it was a warning for the rest of the series not just the first book because jesus fucking chirst everything after
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//suggestive images
Made these cuz uhm. Uhm. Im not sure actually. For funsies or something. Eroticisim of the machine or something idk im new here
God i am SO CRINGE but i am... Free?
#Ughhh do i tag this as nsfw. Everyone is clothed yet i feel like im treading such a FINE LINE#Okay if someone asks me to tag it like that i will...#Posting this im like 'oh my god what if ppl think im weird and i get killed for this'#Then i remember im on Tumblr. Ill be fine. I think#ALSO if u literally click on the read mroe and get mad at seeing. This. Then that's ur own fault ok. Or maybe i didn't actually give a clea#Enough warning idk#Ill probably delete this later if it flops 😭😭😭#ultrakill oc#gabriel ultrakill#V1sona#Oc: V5#oc x canon#Urghhhh this stuff looks so bad BUT WHATEVER#Look at my yaoi or whatever#art#artists on tumblr#artwork#digital art#digital illustration#digital drawing#ultrakill#digital doodle#my art#my ocs#oc art#// suggestive
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I'm missing the many Tim and Damian Sketches I made from my old tablet so here's all the sketches i've made of Tim on my new one. Also the absolute laziest Cass and Steph Doodles I made after reading a Batgirl comic .3.
A cameo from my oc, DCU!Poodle :3
I like these two. I like these two alot.
Assume any Costumes to be very wrong. I refuse to use any ref images. I go off pure memory and my memory is really bad.
Anyways, um. I like these sillies.
#doodles#sketches#digital art#tim drake#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#robin#red robin#robin fanart#dc robin fanart#batgirl#batgirl fanart#I don't remember which one was batgirl in the comic i read but it was cass centric so i'm gonna guess her.#spoiler fanart#spoiler dc#wait how do spoiler warnings work in this fandom. uh oh.#tim drake fanart#cassandra cain fanart#stephanie brown fanart#batman is like. the fandom right? should i put batman fanart despite not drawing The Batman? I don't know...#I like tims hair :3#fanart#dcu#dcu fanart
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The people in the break room probably looking at me annotating my copy of Tevinter Nights like “damn okay. go off you little weirdo.”
#i’d say there’s a reason for it but i don’t remember what it was#but i’ve committed to the bit#dragon age#dragon age tevinter nights#tevinter nights#datv#dai#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age inquisition#da2#dao#dragon age 2#dragon age origins#yapping#books#also no one warned me how THICK this book is#like yeah i’ve read thicker#*glances at the sands of arawiya on my shelf*#but DAMN—
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Volo's friendship story in the Trainer's Lodge is so interesting to me because it seemingly contradicts his usual way of thinking. He asks to take a commemorative photo with you in the event that the world disappears, obviously referring to what he wants to eventually accomplish in the future.
And I can only wonder why he does this. His exact words afterwards are, "Please remember me as you've seen me during our time together." He plans on erasing the world to build a better one, as per is goal in P:LA but the idea that he would want you to remember him as you knew him, someone who was simply friendly and nice to you, goes against how he views relationships with people. There's no transactional value to taking this photo with you nor is there for him wanting you to remember him fondly.
Volo is overly nice to people to get what he wants out of them, that's kind of his thing. You see it with the protag in P:LA, you see it with Jacq and Trevor, and later with Lear in the Mysterious Stones chapter. He likes to get in people's good books so that he might get something out of it later. But what does he want out of you in this interaction? What is he hoping to gain by telling you to remember him the way he is now? He plans on destroying the world and so... he asks to take a photo with you? I can only imagine that he wants it for himself since if the world disappears, you won't even be there to remember him in the first place. He plans on destroying the world and you won't even be there and yet, he still asks you to remember him.
I don't think Volo necessarily lied when he said, "It's just a matter of using them before they use you." Those were thoughts inside his head, he has no one to lie to there; that's what he truly believes. However, I do think there's a disconnect between the kind of person Volo is and the kind of person Volo believes himself to be.
I think maybe he does love his Pokemon, maybe he even wants to be your friend. I don't think he knows that though. His genuine view of himself is that he feels no love or care for others and relationships are just a means to an end and that is mostly how he comes across when showing his true colors. But he has moments that don't quite line up with that. He wants you to remember him fondly. He considers Pokemon tools and yet, there's that photo of him and Togepi. It's these two moments that make me question things. He looks after Togepi and in return, Togepi sticks by his side; that's their trade-off, what they both get out of their relationship. But the photo is what throws me off. If there wasn't even a little bit of love for Togepi, why does that photo exist? Why did he take it? Volo in this same conversation says, "Photos are wonderful things! They allow you to capture and isolate the best moments!" Why take a photo with something you don't love? Why consider that one of your "best moments?"
Volo honestly believes that he doesn't love his Pokemon and that he's no one's friend. That isn't a mask he's putting on, that's who he thinks he is and I can only assume that the reason for this is due to whatever event happened in his past that set him down this road to begin with. But he has these small moments that contradict that view of himself. Volo does have a capacity to care for his Pokemon, to have friends. I just don't think he realizes that. He's incapable of recognizing if he loves or even likes someone in a genuine way; so caught up in viewing every relationship like it's a barter or a trade that he has no idea that he can care and that maybe, at some points, does.
#hi these tags are long as fuck so just warning you#pokemon#pokemon volo#this friendship storyline gave me so many thoughts#these are not the words of someone who doesn't like you at least a little bit#what do you mean he wants us to remember him like that?#why? we won't even be there for it#and i'm reading a little too much into this so that's why this is in the tags#but it almost feels like an apology of sorts?#he knows he's going to reveal himself to be not as kind and helpful as he leads everyone to believe#and that will obviously be upsetting#but why is he telling us that that's going to happen? why give us a hint towards his true nature?#also the least important thing about this i just thought it was fun#it reminded me of the end of the pacifist route in undertale#when asriel asks frisk to remember him as the friend he was to them in that moment#and not the horrible monster he was and would eventually become again#so yeah not very important to anything i just wanted to get that thought out
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Why Jason Grace is The Most Tragic Character in the Riordanverse
*in no way is this trying to dial down Nico's own suffering, I'm just stating my case for Jason because godsdamn SOMEBODY needs to say it!*
@most-tragic-character-tournament here's propoganda i came out guns ablazing
List of why fans are saying Nico:
Lost his mother
lost years of his life
found out he was a demigod at age 10
lost sister at 10
rough relationship with his dad
closeted gay
crush is madly in love with somebody else
forced to come out
List of why Jason is more tragic:
Lost his mom to alcoholism/mental decline
Lost his ENTIRE FUCKING CHILDHOOD because Said Mom gave him up to Juno to be raised by a PACK OF WOLVES who would've EATEN HIM if he was WEAK FOR EVEN A SECOND - AS A FUCKING TWO YEAR OLD
Was a trained demigod FROM THE GET-GO (again, TWO YEARS OLD)
Because of previously stated separation, was TAKEN FROM HIS SISTER WHO LOVED HIM SO MUCH SHE RAN AWAY BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T TAKE THE GUILT AND FEAR AND RAGE THAT FILLED HER AT HIS ABSENCE
Was set up into a "perfect" relationship by Juno/Hera WHILE HAVING HIS MEMORIES TAKEN
Jason may not have had the awful forced outting Nico had to go through, but...that's not really his fault? Nobody has any control over their sexual identity, and Jason? Well. He never really got to explore it. Because that was taken from him too.
Thinks he LOST LEO VALDEZ, ONE OF HIS ACTUAL FIRST FRIENDS, WHO LIKED HIM FOR HIM AND NOT BECAUSE OF HIS STATUS
FORCED TO COMPLY TO A DEMANDING SOCIETY THAT EXALTED HIM FROM DAY 1 BECAUSE HIS DAD IS THE OH-SO-IMPORTANT JUPITER (*cough victim of nepotism cough*)
AND WHEN HE TRIES TO COMBAT THAT NEPOTISM HE KEEPS GETTING PUSHBACK UNTIL HE FALTERS
then. then his girlfriend breaks up with him - not because of any drama, or even a disagreement, but over a very valid point
their relationship didn't exactly start out very...honestly. Jason had been mind-wiped of all memories and Piper had fake ones implanted into her to make her think she liked Jason as more than a friend. sure. they had a pretty nice relationship, but when everything slowed down and they took a look at their lives?
Piper's the one who sees it first, and makes the decision. Jason is heartbroken, but understands - he even, dare I say, agrees that they should end the relationship. it was built on fake memories - you could say it was built on lies.
and now Jason has this opportunity to step back and analyze who he is and what he wants.
what he finds is depressing. everything he's had, everything's he's been up till now...
it's not him.
he never wanted to be raised by Lupa and her wolves.
he never wanted to be Jupiter's son
he never wanted to be the exalted leader Camp Jupiter praised him for
From day 1 his life was somebody else's. his first steps were under the tutelage of a wolf, not of the loving eyes of his sister
Camp Jupiter only ever saw him as the demigod to be praised and turn to above all others, even before he became praetor.
Jason's life...was never his own.
and now that he's away from all that pressure and expectation...he doesn't know who he is.
Son of Jupiter?
Champion of Juno?
Praetor of the Twelfth Legion?
Member of the Prophesized Seven?
Hero of Olympus?
no. he was never himself under these names.
he was never...Jason.
but maybe now he could start navigating his own life. without some god intervening for once. this would be good for him, and for Piper, to find their own way.
but then. then they talk to Herophile...and find out one of them will die. And Jason? Well, he's not going to let Piper be taken from the life she deserves. he may not be her boyfriend, her knight in shining armor, but he sure as HELL loves her - especially as a friend. And if there's one thing you should know about Jason? It's that he loves his friends.
so what does he do? He sacrifices himself. He duels Caligula himself, and urges Piper, Meg, and Apollo to Go, save yourselves! and -
he's stabbed. through the chest. the only thing he can do? Look to Apollo, to the blue gaze so much like his own drenched in horror, and ask; Remember. because he didn't get to live the life he wished, but maybe Apollo could - no, Apollo can, he can make the difference Jason wanted. Because he trusts Apollo.
Jason doesn't regret his sacrifice. he saved Piper from the prophecy, after all. He saved Apollo & Meg's lives too.
in fact, Jason didn't really mind dying. Because he didn't have much of a life either. And a life like that? shrug It's worth sacrificing for those who deserve theirs.
and as icing on the cake, remember who Jason's father is? The almighty, all-powerful Jupiter himself, King of the Gods?
he doesn't do a damn thing to help Jason. Not a single. Thing.
because Jupiter/Zeus doesn't care about his children. Especially his sons.
Zeus saved Thalia. But he didn't even try to save Jason.
Trying would have at least lessened the pain...
People like to claim Jason is a bland, boring character who's never suffered a minute in his life. That he's a golden retriever with no flaws.
Well.
Take a look up there and ask yourself - it that the life of a boy who knows no suffering?
Because it sure as hell don't look that way to me.
To me, it looks like Jason was a used, depressed young man who never got to choose his own path. Who's father abandoned him first to his wife's mercy, then to a cruel emperor's.
Jason Grace suffered.
and he never got to live that happy life he saw within the Fates.
Never got to get that family, those grandchildren he saw himself telling the story of the Argo II to.
Because The Fall of Jason Grace is a true, utter tragedy.
#jason grace#i have feeeeelings#remember when people complained about jason being “boring” and then rick was like “okay he's dead now” and then those same people screamed#about never reading toa because “how could rick do that!!! jason was supposed to marry piper and have kids!!!! :(((”#well my friends you DO remember the first page of the lightning thief don't you?#“look i didn't want to be a half-blood”#being a half-blood is dangerous#sometimes it can get you killed in painful nasty ways#~don't say i didn't warn you#- percy jackson#rick warned us at the very beginning#in greek mythology...there's triumph and victory#but the one thing greece is known for in theater?#it's tragedy#and rick perfectly displays it with the fall of jason grace#life's not all sunshine and rainbows#it's not going to be “they all lived happily ever after the end”#it wouldn't be a greek story without tragedy#and really...how many of you ~actually~ cared about jason until he died#hmm?#i'm not judging#i ~was~ one of those people#he wasn't my favorite but i was more...eh about him#he existed for me#until i took a step back and looked at his life and went...#oh.#he's not who i thought he was#and he's not who you think he is either#thank you for coming to my tedtalk#the burning maze
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