#reptile rants

[reptile-rants]

Shoutout to the Arabian Sand Boa, worlds derpiest snake

Fun fact: They're one of only two species of boas who lay eggs instead of giving live birth!

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

It's always so weird to come down from the biology heavens to see what the average person believes about animals, plants, ecosystems, just the world around them. I don't even mean things that one simply doesn't know because they've never been told or things that are confusing, I'm talking about people who genuinely do not see insects as animals. What are you saying. Every time I see a crawling or fluttering little guy I know that little guy has motivations and drive to fulfill those motivations. There are gears turning in their head! They are perceiving this world and they are drawing conclusions, they are conscious. And yet it's still a whole thing if various bugs of the world feel pain or if they are simply Instinct Machines that are Not Truly Aware of Anything At All????? Help!!!!!! How can you look at a little guy and think he is just the macroscopic animal version of a virus

[yume-joshi]

Gamgin's H-Scene!!

people wanted it, sooo I deliver!!! ;3 again, just send an ask if you want another one transcribed!! SMUT BELOW THE CUT!

ASK: Anonymous says, "YES PLEASE do Gamigin's one next please please please please please"

NOTES: if there is any text which differs slightly from the game, just ignore it!! OCR's do not do well with the mass amount of whb punctuation..

WARNINGS: smut with a little but of funny character interactions, dragon-fucking, shower sex, double penetration

EXTRA: want the visual? scroll to the bottom and click on the link!

Descending the endlessly repeating staircase was as much of a struggle as climbing it. Despite the structure being reversed, it was still called a 'tower,' so there should be a top... meaning an end, but you couldn't tell when it would finally come.

MC: Hah... hah... hah...

Foras: MC, are you alright? Your breathing is pretty heavy... Would you like to get on my back?

MC: I'm... fine... They say it's harder going downhill than uphill... and it's really true..

As you continued descending the spiral staircase, you started to feel a little dizzy. Meanwhile, Leviathan had confidently said, "I'll go ahead and scout," and quickly disappeared down below.

MC: (Right, we're not here for fun, right? Ineed to pul myself together or I'll holdback the devils...)

Just then, while your mind briefly wandered, your foot slipped, causing you to lose your balance.

MC: Ah...?!

But instead of the sound of a fall, you heard a pleasant jingling sound, like a bell.

Gamigin: Are you okay, MC?

With a pure, boyish look in his eyes, Gamigin, now fully in his grown body, pulled you into a hug from behind and asked. In that moment, a cool breeze, like a refreshing northern wind on a summer day, blew from behind, and your peripheral vision was filled with his blue hair and clear, sharp features. Though it was just a few seconds, you felt that fleeting moment as if it were in slow motion.

Thump, thump, thump...!

With Gamigin holding you from behind, his broad chest pressed against your back. You hurriedly tried to hide your flushed ears and quickly expressed your thanks.

MC: Mmm, thanks, Gamigin. If it weren't for you, I would've fallen over!

Gamigin: I knew it! I was just waiting to see when you'd trip!

MC: Ah... I see... Anyway, I owe you one. I'm alive because of you.

Gamigin: Saving people? That's my job.

At the perfect moment, the sound of a bell ringing softly blended with his smile, as if it was echoing in tune with him.

MC: (Wow.. he's really handsome..)

From any angle, whether up close or from afar, this flawless young man was a bundle of charm, and his easygoing nature only made him more perfect.

MC: (I wonder.. does even someone like Gamigin have any weaknesses?)

As you idly thought that, your group started moving again after briefly pausing when you stopped.

Barbatos: Does anyone know how far we've come down?

Glasyal La Bolas: You should ask that devil who moonlights as a debt collector. He must be used to counting and calculating things.

Bimet: What did you say? Are you saying there's another devil like me?

Glasyal La Bolas: I mean you, of course. The chancellor of Tartaros.

Bimet, realizing that Glasyal La Bolas had been mocking him, shot aterrifying glare at him.

Bimet: I don't have any hobbies related to counting things that aren't money.

Glasyal La Bolas: Oh, really? What a shame.

Bimet: All I know is that we've probably descended about 34,280 steps so far.

Glasyal La Bolas: ...You said you didn't have any hobbies?

Glasyal La Bolas reacts with a look of disbelief, releasing a long sigh as if theair itself had been deflated from him.

Buer: To be exact, since I joined, we've descended 34,000 steps, plus another 13. Counting the steps we're on right now, that's 14, 15..16 more.

Glasyal La Bolas: ...Are all Tartaros devils like this?

Valefor: Hopefully not.

As Glasyal La Bolas glances at Valefor, who now seems to radiate an aura of normalcy, his previously frustrated expression softens.

Glasyal La Bolas: How long has it been since you moved to Paradise Lost, and yet you're still acting like a Tartaros devil?

Buer: Hmm.. It's been about.. today marks roughly..

Glasyal La Bolas: No, no. That's not what lasked for.

Gamigin: Well, since Paradise Lost doesn't really have any specific rules, I suppose it's hard to shake off habits from where you came from, right?

Gamigin, stil walking closely beside you, interjects with his calm voice. At that, Barbatos lights up with curiosity.

Barbatos: No rules? What do you mean by that?

Gamigin: Exactly what I said! We're here because we like Lucifer Hyung, nothing more. There's no real set of rules.

Gamigin: Well, of course, there are the nine virtues you need to follow when greeting Lucifer Hyung, the thirteen unwritten rules for meeting him, and of course, the thirty-six taboos in his room... And then...

Bimet: ...I thought you said no rules? What do you mean by that?

Bimet hesitantly asked the exact same question Barbatos had asked earlier, but Gamigin brushed it off with a light laugh.

Because he was walking so closely, you could feel his laughter and the slight tremor in his body, both pleasant and comforting.

Buer: Many of the devils in Paradise Lost are from different lands. Each of them has their own circumstances, and since they've been in their original countries for so long, we tend to avoid touching on those things.

Gamigin: Exactly! That's why Buer still counts prescriptions like money!

Buer: Gamigin, stop saying things you're not asked to.

Gamigin: Sure thing, Buer!

Gamigin nodded eagerly, like an obedient dog with sparkling eyes. However, it didn't take more than a few seconds before he stared intently at Buer with a look that screamed, "I'm dying to say something!

Buer: ...If it's really necessary, then speak... I swear, how does His Majesty Lucifer put up with you...

Gamigin: MC looks like she's about to die!

Buer: What?

Foras: What did you just say?

The sudden and dramatic declaration stopped everyone in their tracks. You were just as shocked as the others.

MC: No, I'm just... Hahhh... I'm a bit winded... feeling dizzy, that's all...

Gamigin: No, it's not that. There's something you're missing right now, MC. Something really crucial.

Foras: Ah...! Could it be that you're running low on demonic energy...?

At Foras' words, the other devils' faces shifted into expressions of realization. Even Buer and Gamigin, who had no clue what was going on, paused for a moment to listen to Foras' explanation before their faces mirrored the same understanding. As if on cue, every devil in the room simultaneously had a sharp glint in their eyes.

Foras: I think it would be best for someone experienced to help you, MC. So come here...

Glasyal La Bolas: Experienced, huh? You're not the only one, Foras. Trying to make it sound like you're the only one who knows what's going on... You really are a sly one, aren't you? Just like your looks.

Barbatos: That's true! I can help MC anytime. It may not be our secret garden, but if it's to lift the mood, I'm more than wiling...

As the devils from Hades continued to chatter, Bimet and Valefor exchanged an incredulous glance.

Bimet: They have no idea they've already lost.

Valefor: Well, maybe it's better that way.

Buer: I'd rather they keep fussing like this until those two get back.

Buer quietly glanced back. The stairs they'd already passed were swallowed by the deep darkness. And 'those two' were now climbing back up against the shadows. As the Hades devils continued their meaningless argument, you had already leapt into Gamigin's arms, quickly escaping the scene. The place you arrived at was one of the 'lounge' Kesi had mentioned earlier.

[FLASHBACK]

Kesi: [We couldn't go too far down, but still, this place and I have set up some conveniences here and there to make it our base. Feel free to use them if you need.]

[CURRENT]

MC: (I didn't think I'd actually end up using it.!)

You swallowed nervously as you eyed the neatly prepared shower room inside.

MC: So.. Gamigin, why did you bring me here?

Gamigin: For a patient, cleanliness is crucial. If you wash well, eat well, and sleep well, you'll get better. That's the basic rule.

MC: ???? Huh???? Wait, hold on. I'm not that kind of patient...?!

Despite your confusion, Gamigin, clearly unwiling to bend on his healing philosophy, turned on the water and adjusted the temperature. Soon, the shower room was filled with thick steam.

Gamigin: MC, come here.

His large hand gestured toward you. The thick, cold steam filled the room, making his figure seem almost otherworldly, even though he was just a few steps away.

As if under a spell, you walked toward him, only to suddenly realize something crucial.

MC: ...Aren't you going to leave?

Gamigin: I was taught that a responsible healer should never leave their patient's side, from beginning to end.

His clear eyes, free from any hidden agenda, made you feel guilty for doubting him earlier.

MC: ...I understand. But... are you really sure you know what kind of 'treatment' I need?

Despite being one of the 72 devils, Gamigin was certainly hundreds of years older than you— an experienced and wise figure. Yet, his innocent expression and youthful behavior made you wonder if he truly understood the complexities of adult matters.

MC: If you're not sure, I can always bring someone else in to help..

Gamigin: MC, you don't know anything about me.

His words could've sounded sharp, but the gleam in his eyes, paired with the playful curve of his lips, seemed almost like an invitation to a secret, unspoken game.

Swahhh—

In the tense silence between you two, unable to make a move or speak, Gamigin took a step forward as if to demonstrate, boldly walking into the stream of water.

In an instant, his entire body was drenched, from head to toe, the water dripping off him, and once again, his large hand reached out toward you, compelling you closer.

Gamigin: MC, come here.

Ding—

A delicate, almost ethereal chime seemed to echo in the distance, like the sound of a bell ringing somewhere far away, as everything around you started to blur.

The overwhelming presence of Gamigin and his handsome face consumed your senses, making everything else fade into the background. You were left with only him, his energy, and the magnetic pull he exerted. The sound of the shower's water, once so crisp, began to fade, and the thick steam that filled the room slowly cleared. The walls, floor, and ceiling seemed to disappear as if erased by an invisible hand. Leaving only Gamigin standing in the center.

Gamigin: Ah, so you really are human, after all..

His voice held a faint trace of self-reproach. You tilted your head in confusion, unable to grasp the meaning behind his words.

Swahhh—!

The sound of the rushing water grew louder, and suddenly everything snapped back into focus— the sound, the steam, the surroundings— everything was once again vivid.

MC: ...Wait, what was that just now...?

Gamigin: Sorry, I got a bit too... 'eager' with my words.

He apologized in a way that seemed almost flippant, puling you closer. Before you even realized it, your hand had instinctively reached out and rested on his.

MC: (When did I...?)

Pulling you so close that your toes almost touched, Gamigin couldn't help but laugh mischievously, taking in the sight of you, drenched from head to toe just like him.

Gamigin: If you keep those wet clothes on, you're going to catch a cold, MC.

MC: Haha,nI didn't get wet on my own! You're the one who dragged me here andnmade me like this. I haven't even taken my clothes off yet.

Gamigin: True, I did get you into this situation. So, I'm the one who should help, right?

MC: (I thought he wouldn't know about adult matters.. How could I have everbmistaken him for someone innocent...?)

He skillfully created an arousing situation and reached out to your waist without hesitation. Soon, his large hands invaded your clothes.

Gamigin: Raise your arms, MC.

Maybe it was because he was wearing a blazer that reminded you of a school uniform, but Gamigin's skillful attitude and actual age clearly showed that he was much older, but somehow you couldn't shake the feeling that you were being manipulated by a younger man.

MC: (Of course, that in itself made you get turned on!)

You obediently raised both your arms as he told you to. He rolled up your wet top from the bottom.

Whenever your waist, belly button, upper stomach, chest, and collarbonebwere exposed one by one, Gamigin looked at the exposed skin as if he was going to warm it. It was clear that the dizziness and shortness of breath were no longer due to poor condition or the heat of the steam.

MC: I hope you don't catch a cold either.

Gamigin: ...How kind of you.

When Gamigin, who had stopped for a moment, opened his mouth, the voice that had been refreshing before came out, but instead it was an unfamiliar voice that had become husky and feverish.

MC: (...Just now, the bottom is definitely wet. It's already soaking wet, so it won't show..)

With his permission, you started to take off Gamigin's clothes just like how he did. Taking off clothes that were heavy from soaking up water wasn't as easy asyou thought, but your hands were just as skilled as Gamigin's.

When you came to your senses, Gamigin's upper body was already soaking wet without a single shirt on.

MC: (Wow... The skin soaked in water... It's so beautiful, like it's wrapped in transparent cloth...)

Who said that a man's body is expressed as a straight line and a woman's body as a curve! Gamigin's body muscles were firm but soft and flexible, so it was hard to resist the urge to touch them and lean against them. The water streams flowing down between his split abs were clearly just regular shower water, but if you licked them, it felt like your life would increase.

Gamigin: Now, you should take them off too. Are you going to catch a cold?

You smiled slightly because Gamigin was still cute complaining about his cold, but as soon as you realized that his expression wasn't cute at all, you had to bite your lip to keep your pounding heart from jumping out. Finally, the clothes that had risen up to your neck and chin were caught in your nose, and your eyes were about to be covered next.

Gamigin: Turn around, MC.

MC: ..!

As soon as your eyes were covered, his order was given. Your eyes were covered by wet clothes, and as you groped your way around you ended up facing the other way. Then, as if he had been waiting, two large hands grabbed your waist and pulled you tightly.

MC: (It, touched... it's touching...)

A hard thing that you could tell was pressing against your butt without even looking.

MC: G, Gamigin?

Gamigin: Yeah. I'll take the rest off.

MC: (That wasn't what I meant?!)

Gamigin said calmly and took off your bottom and lowered it. When the wet, heavy clothes got caught around your ankles, they felt like shackles that Gamigin had given you.

Thuuud—

As Gamigin's excitement rubbed hard against your very thin, even wet, meaningless underwear, you felt your strength draining from your body due to the excitement that had been transferred to you. As you were staggering, unable to hold on, you bent down and barely held on by supporting yourself on both knees, you heard the sound of Gamigin's pants buckle coming off behind you. And a moment later, your wet butt no, your panties were rubbed by a surprisingly hot, firm, huge pillar. You glanced back and looked at Gamigin. And immediately, you regretted it. Even without that, you were lying face down in the heat, so blood was rushing to your face, but because of his appearance, you really thought you would get a nose bleed. He leaned his back against the cold tile wall, thrusting his waist toward your butt and moving back and forth slightly.

MC: (How can he make such an expression...?!)

Gamigin, who exuded a masculine aura, frowned slightly as he felt his excitement rising. The tight, manly muscles that were covered by his slightly loose clothes swelled up solidly as if showing his excitement.

Gamigin: Haa.. MC, the sound of the water falling on your body, the water droplets splashing everywhere, it's so erotic that I can't stand it...

Now that you look at it, Gamigin's penis, which was rubbing against your butt, was feeling the ticklish, continuous stimulation from where the water was falling the strongest.

MC: (Ah, is this Gamigin's fetish?)

Only then did you realize why Gamigin had brought you to the shower room, and you secretly reached behind him with one hand and turned the water on harder.

Swishhh—!

The water stream grew stronger and immediately hit Gamigin's pillar so hard that it hurt a little.

Gamigin: K, kagh...!

MC: Do you like getting wet or getting hit more?

As you secretly moved your waist back and forth and bumped your body against his center, Gamigin lifted his chin and tilted his head back as if he couldn't hold it in any longer.

Then, a shiny and foreign part of his neck, different from the rest of his skin, was clearly revealed.

MC: ...Scale?

The moment you muttered, Gamigin lowered his head, which he had been tilting down, and smirked at you with slightly creepy eyes.

Gamigin: Did I get caught?

MC: .......?!

You didn't even know what he meant, but just because of Gamigin's scary sexy expression, you got goosebumps.

Wooosh—!

Gamigin's pillar slowly began to enter your wet panties, finding its place.

MC: Agh...?! Gami...gin...! W-wait...! This position...!

Gamigin: MC, I just found out about a very important weakness of yours.

Gamigin: What should I do about this?Gamigin continued to ruthlessly dig inside you while talking nonsense. Soon, even the place you thought you couldn't go in anymore was filled with his stuff.

MC: No... don't... ugh..

In this position.. you're going too deep...!

Gamigin: That's what I wanted.

Gamigin grabbed your waist while you were lying face down and started to move slowly. He moved very slowly, whether to give you a way out or to be considerate. But even so, because of the volume and pleasure that filled your stomach, you felt as if your whole body and internal organs were moving together with his waist movements. Your skin, which was already feeling a sting from the strong water stream that continued to hit them, became more and more sensitive, and everytime your soaking wet skin hit each other, a dirty sound of slapping echoed in the shower room.

MC: No, no, no, this is too much...! Haghh...

Gamigin: That thing on my neck that you found. It's called the dragon's 'reverse scale'.

MC: ...Dragon, then are you really...? Agh...!

When the tip of Gamigin's glans kissed your deepest part once again, you couldn't continue your question properly. No matter how much you curled your toes, you couldn't disperse the pleasure that dully pushed up your inner wall and lower abdomen, so your face, where the blood was rushing to you, felt like it was going to burst from excitement.

Gamigin: Yes, I'm a dragon. A mysterious being called a god in some worlds. It's an open secret. But right now, I'm definitely [Gamigin]. You couldn't understand what Gamigin was saying. All you could tell was that he could make you orgasm right away with just a few slow, intense piston strokes. You flinched like a child because of the dull, enormous pleasure that made your body tremble every time he pressed.

MC: Secret, I'l keep it, I'l keep it, ugh, ugh...! Hagh...! No, rather! If it's an open secret, then it's not really a secret, righ-right hagh...?!

You refuted as your faint sense of reason shouted, but you were startled when Gamigin's waist started moving a little faster, and you changed your words.

MC: Secret, I'l keep it, I'll keep it...! Hagh...!Gamigin: Really? Everyone tells me not to trust humans.

MC: Really, I me-mean it, ugh, hagh, I-I promis...! Hagh...!

Gamigin: Hmm.. Isn't it too risky to silence someone with just a verbal promise? Somehow, you felt a chill down your spine, and when you were about to turn around, Gamigin gently covered your eyes with his large palm and turned his head away again.

MC: ????

Gamigin: It would be better not to see it.

The laughter, tinged with excitement, felt oddly unsettling. At that moment, just as your hole was finally getting used to Gamigin... a familiar sensation of discomfort came from the hole above it.

MC: (......??????? A finger...? No, no. This is too big to call it a finger...)

Your instincts blared a deafening alarm, but the moment you heard the creaking sound of the hole widening, that warning signal abruptly stopped, as if it had broken down.

MC: Ga, Mi... Ugh... What is this...?

Gamigin: Remember, MC. Even if I can't block your upper mouth, I can block your lower mouth without any gaps.

The next moment, it was clearly not a finger, but a hot and hard pillar that was almost the same as the one that already filled your hole and inner walls, squeezing into the narrow hole that only knew how to spit out.

MC: Haghh...!

You trembled, your body stiffening as if you had been pierced by a skewer.

Gamigin: Hahh... it's so hot... inside of you...

Gamigin paused for a moment and let out a hot sigh of satisfaction. On the other hand, you were trembling with your whole body filled with his. If you spoke, it felt like one of his things would pop out of your mouth through your throat.

MC: How, how can this...?

Gamigin: Dragons, we have two of them.

MC: ......?!

He whispered sweetly and started to move as if he had waited long enough. A pitiful uncontrollable moan and scream flowed out of your mouth thatyou couldn't stop.

MC: Ahh, haghh, ahh, agh...

Gamigin: This isn't a threat, ha... It's a request to keep a secret, MC.

MC: (What are you talking about...! It's completely a threat!)

You screamed inwardly, feeling the pressure that made you suffocate. However, after Gamigin bent down exactly three more times, you completely changed that thought.

MC: (I feel like I'm going to die...! Ahh...! Down there...! It feels like it's going to melt... burn... and disappear...!)

The two penises he was thrusting into were definitely different from those of ordinary devils. They filled your insides flexibly as if they had a will, and then hardened at the crucial spot, making you dizzy. And after two of them, you were so ecstatic that you couldn't come to your senses, and you almost screamed. The hole and the inner wall that were tight at first, as if they would tear apart, were now completely loose and sucking in his things on their own. Gamigin, who didn't miss that change, gradually increased his speed. The sound of the water splashing became faster and more urgent, and Gamigin's low moans flowed thicker and clearer. Gamigin: If you don't keep the secret, this is what's going to happen from now on...

MC: Eeeeek...! I'll keep it, absolutely, definitely, I'l keep it...!! Please, keep going...!! Keep going, keep going like this...!! Don't stop...!!

You couldn't wait for Gamigin to speak and started crying, pleading first. Then Gamigin laughed and caressed the hollow part of your back and waist in a creepy way.

Gamigin: Yes, it's a secret and promise between the two of us?

Even though your mouth was clearly empty, you couldn't speak because ofthe pressure that felt like even that hole was full, so you nodded like crazy.

At that moment, you felt Gamigin's lower abdomen tightening more than before. In your vision that had already turned white from excessive excitement, like shooting stars were flashing, but you could feel that the 'real thing' was coming soon.

Gamigin: Ah... Now that I think about it... Can I come inside... I'm not a devil, so if l get you pregnant with this...

The moment he muttered to himself, you squeezed your insides as if you were squeezing them and thrust your butt back!

MC: If you don't give it all to me... I won't forgive you...!

Gamigin: ..........!! Kagh....?!

As Gamigin's tip was thrust deep inside, somewhere deeper, embarrassment and excitement that he couldn't hide burst out from his mouth. On the other hand, you were shaking with your mouth and eyes wide open due to the violent pleasure that was more intense than you had expected.

MC: Ah......Ahhhh.....!!!

Woosh, whoosh, woosh......!!

More than twice the usual amount of semen poured out inside you. The feeling of your lower abdomen bulging was strange, but you were satisfied when you thought that it was all because of Gamigin's spilling out.

Tskk......

Gamigin slowly turned of the shower. After a long time, only your and Gamigin's heavy breathing echoed in the quiet place. Soon, with a hug, the two pillars that had filled you slowly withdrew. Then, like a spilled saucepan with the lid open, his semen flowed out inside уоu. As the part connected to him withdrew, your body, which had barely held on while supporting his weight, swayed once again. But this time, Gamigin held you securely and hugged you. But...

MC: ...? Why are you making that face?

Gamigin: ...Were you scared?

MC: (After everything he's done, he asks this now?! Ugh...! This dragon definitely knows...! He knows that the more shameless he acts, the more unbearably adorable I find him...!)

You reached out and gently ruffled Gamigin's damp hair. Even though you were still trembling slightly from the lingering rush, you managed to push through the embarrassment.

MC: ...I wasn't scared. (Though it was so overwhelming, it might as well have been fear.) But it does feel a little unfair that you don't trust me. (Not that I'd trade it for missing out on that incredible moment.) From now on, try trusting me more, okay? (And keep those moments coming!)

You carefully navigated your words, making sure not to let your inner thoughts slip through. Gamigin's expression brightened again, his usual dazzling smile spreading across his face.

Gamigin: Got it! I'll trust you, MC!

MC: Ugh.. If you're going to smile like that, looking so good, could you at least do it from a little farther away?

You squeezed your eyes shut, half-worried that his striking looks might drain all the strength you'd just managed to recover.

And so, one day, after some time had passed, Gamigin and Buer found themselves alone together.

Buer: ...? W-What? What did you say MC found out?

Gamigin: That I'm a dragon! And even that my reverse scale is right here, near my neck!

Buer: No, no. Everyone among the 72 Devils knows you're a dragon! And honestly, anyone with eyes could spot the reverse scale on your neck!

Gamigin: Hmm? Really? As expected of you, Buer- you're so smart!

Buer: That's not the point...! What's shocking is... that you have two of those.

At that moment, someone called out, "Gamigin." Lucifer's voice interrupted Buer. A few steps away, Lucifer gestured toward Gamigin, signaling that he had something to say. Gamigin gave Buer a cheerful wave.

Buer: ...Honestly... Does that dragon really not understand what's supposed to be a secret?

Buer scratched the back of his head a few times, muttering to himself, before quietly walking away. Unseen, Gamigin glanced back at the now-empty spot and narrowed his eyes, a sly grin spreading across his face.

Gamigin: (Whatever the case, what matters most is that MC and I now share a secret.)

The playful young dragon, who wasn't as innocent as he seemed, harbored a mischievous thought.

[END]

[archeryenthusiast]

okay but i need to vent, people DON'T KNOW that birds are REPTILES???? like HOW? like i understand if you weren't taught it, but how can you not OBSERVE IT??? birds are literally SCALY, i mean, sure, feathers ARE a type of scale, but birds have SCALY LEGS BITCH!!!!! also, come on, everyone knows dinosaurs are reptiles, and how can you NOT know that birds are dinosaurs??? even if your image of dinosaurs is the Jurassic Park T.rex, birds are still VERY CLEARLY extremely similar to theropods!! seriously how can people not know this????

w-wait what? b-big sis why aren't you paying attention! hey! no, i won't swallow, you didn't listen to me!

[da-v1sha-1]

Ughh i hate THOSE kind of 'animal lovers' who only love fluffy animals.

I mean that especially when it comes to owning reptiles, people can be sooo cruel. "I hope your [reptile] dies" ???

The amount of times i read that under tiktok reptile keeping posts

What the fuck did they do to you ☠��☠️

You are NOT an animal lover if you only love cute and fluffy animals

[faytelumos]

Sometimes, specific knowledge in a field can be such a burden.

I'm trying to redesign my dragon faces/heads, but all of the designs look stupid!

And I don't mean the design itself looks stupid. I mean the structure of the dragon's head is such that its brain is relatively small for its body size, ergo, the dragon is of basic reptilian intelligence.

Which is not what I want. I want dragons who can have a conversation about philosophy.

So because I know too much about taxonomy, I can't come up with a dragon design! D:<

[synnamonroll666]

Syzoth Didn't Move On Right Away

Gotta make a post about this. I see so many people say that Syzoth just completely got over his wife and son dying, just because he got with Ashrah. I also see a lot of people say that they got together right after the story mode or in it.

First off, they didn't. The intro dialogues have to be AT LEAST a year after the tower endings. It's not possible for all that happened in them to happen within some months, because stuff like building the Shira Ryu, building cybors for the Lin Kuei, Kung Lao literally turning Shujinko into some type of God/Villain takes A LOT of time. And in the intro dialogues, it seems as if their relationship is fairly new. I understand some people think that getting with someone a year after losing a spouse is crazy, but some people wait just months before dating again.

And never once is it stated that he "moved on and didn't grieve". In many intro dialogues, he showed a lot of anger and hurt towards the subject of his wife and son. He still wants revenge and still misses them.

I see a lot of posts on this and I'm tired of explaining it each time, so I decided to make a post. Even after all this, remember that it is a game, guys. They probably just wrote that in there as an easter egg, because he literally said about his wife and son dying in specific to Scorpion.

[alicelairds]

anyways, i'm upset at this. my boys deserve the world

[murruspins]

when your owner/partner/mate goes to school but you’re homeschooled

"What am I supposed to do all day while you’re at school? >;("

"I dunno, what do you normally do when I’m gone?"

"Wait for you to get back :["

audio for context can be found here

[onegianthotmess]

MK1 Rants:

💚🐍Syzoth’s Hissing Habit🐍💚

MY SWEET BABIE BOY SYZOTH, I HAVE FINALLY WRITTEN A RANT FOR HIM!!!

OKAY! OKAY! SO-

You know how Syzoth hisses? Like in his intro dialogues when he’s irked or angered and all that?

Well, my little wormy brain did some thinking and thought about it. What if Syzoth’s hissing was purely out of instinct or habit? Like he hisses when irked or angered, emotions like that.

So, and hear me out on this, I think that Syzoth also hisses at things he finds threatening or dangerous at a first glance. Now big threats like people trying to kill those he cares about or destroy the realms are a no-brainer, but what about normal Earthrealm things?

Like, you brought Syzoth to Earthrealm because he had a day off and he wanted to see where you came from. And you just spent the day in your house just chilling and explaining what a T.V. was and how, no, a dead little girl wasn’t going to crawl out of it like in The Ring, why in the damn Jesus take the wheel fuck did Johnny show you that movie, sweetie-?

Babie boy isn’t a fan of horror films-

And when you start to get hungry for a snack, you ask Syzoth if he wants some fruit. He nods and politely waits for you on the couch while you go to the kitchen to grab some watermelon for you two to share. So you got a big bowl, put some watermelon you already cut up in it, and grabbed two forks before walking back out into the living room.

You set the bowl of watermelon down on the coffee table and held out one of the forks to Syzoth and-

*HISSSSSSSSS!*

The-

The fuck-?

You looked over at Syzoth to see him backed away a bit, glaring at the fork in your hand like it had committed fucking genocide. Was he okay?

You tried to hand him the fork again and-

*HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!*

He-

He hissed at the fork again and backed away even more, still glaring at the utensil.

It took a second, but you eventually put two and two together and started laughing your ass off. And this made Syzoth very confused.

Why were you laughing when there was something dangerous in your hand? Something that could very easily hurt you or him!

What in the name of Argus were you holding anyway? It didn’t matter because it looked like AN EXTREMELY DANGEROUS WEAPON!

After you stopped laughing, you explained to him what a fork was. Even after your explanation, Syzoth still didn’t trust the fork, so you just showed him how a fork was used by using it to pick up a piece of watermelon and eat it.

Syzoth didn’t really trust the fork until you tricked him into opening his mouth long enough and wide enough so that you could feed him some watermelon with the fork. Needless to say, it shut him up and got him to trust the fork. You did have to teach him how to use it a bit, but he was pretty good at using it, despite having hardly ever needing utensils to eat in his life.

My mans literally has a long ass tongue to snatch bugs up from the air, hands-free mode-

But seriously, imagine Syzoth hissing at every normal Earthrealm thing like it’s plotting against him.

It’d be so cute and funny-

Syzoth is seriously one of my favorite MK1 boys! He’s so traumatized, yet so adorable and wholesome; my favorite kind of boy! Also the gif I used, which is my favorite Syzoth gif I’ve ever seen, is perfect for this, fucking prove me wrong 😑

[hidingoutbackstage]

This Reptile mask is killing me because that is 100% a Minecraft creeper texture covering his nose you cannot convince me otherwise

[yumenosakiacademy]

[queen-of-reptiles]

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JUST A PSA

If someone's requests are closed please don't send requests in and then get annoyed when they are not written lickety split !

My requests are CLOSED just so we are all aware - and as much as I appreciate people enjoying my writing and wanting part 2's and their own requests done, they will not be finished until I have properly got through the pervious 11 requests I have plus my own wants.

Also, please don't send hate to people because they don't reply to your inbox asks as anons, I am under no obligation to reply to any requests or anything else.

My asks are always open for a chat and ect. but at the moment my requests are closed and I am sorry, but ya girl is busy and has a full time job and is trying her hardest.

Please respect people on here and their time because ya'll don't pay us for our work - we do this for free.

Anyways, I am hoping to speed my writing up (idk if i will tho sorry) and try and get everything out.

I understand if you want a request to send in - but just please be aware it may not be written quick AT ALL.

all my love xxx

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[epicwafflepie]

I hate people who jokes and talks about wanting to kill someone's pet because it's scary to them. The way certain reptiles and tarantula owners gets treated is fucking horrendous. Yeah tarantulas may be scary to you but to someone who owns one or collects them they genuinely love and care for their tarantulas. How would you feel if someone threatened to kill your dog or cat? Yeah you wouldn't like it so why are you doing it to someone just because you see their pet as terrifying. Grow up.

[passivenightmaresans]

Reptile rant

I have had numerous issues when interacting with other reptile keepers; especially in streamer chats. I will not mention the streamers just yet, unless it escalates and they promote animal disregard. I have experienced something like this very recently; in a streamers show and tell, where I was looking in the discord, just to see a juvenile or subadult bearded dragon in an 80gallon (not sure of exact measurements) with repticarpet, a hammock, that hadn't been cleaned on the surface level. I did not mean to come off aggressive to this person, however, they disregarded my advice (they gave me the greenlight to DM them about it) and pushed it off as having more experience with reptiles; probably meaning 'I know better because i've worked with them for longer' which is absolutely incorrect. I lightheartedly mentioned this person in streamer chat, but my tone was taken as aggressive even though I wasn't being judgemental. I got scolded by the streamer, and when another streamer who was allied or collabing with the streamer I was currently watching, called me out and said it was clearly happy and I didn't know the enclosure size off of a picture; they were more coming off as aggressive than me. I reply nicely, saying that if they want to, they can come in my DMS and discuss this, but get scolded again for continuing the conversation even though I was replying and they'd say they would time me out? Seems like a case of infantilisation too. The other streamer had said they were going to study herpetology but didn't in the end, I won't judge on that since I don't know what that was supposed to add, if it was supposed to make them sound smarter or not? This morning, I sent a careguide for bearded dragons that was up to current standards and mentioned a few sources with the correct lighting, enclosure sizes, coverage, etc - such as Reptifiles, HappyDragons, etc. If anything in these are wrong, please tell me and I'd be glad to recheck my research! I'm always open to criticism as long as it isn't aggressive! I have not heard a reply back but maybe I will update with a response. Sorry if this is a controversial thing on my page, it was just a really strong itch. Here's my skink in compensation for this stressful rant.

[iztarshi]

The shells in tmnt 2012 really bother me. Like. Okay. There is a problem with ninjas with non-flexible shells that's sort of baked into the franchise.

03 and 87 both do a rigid carapace, flexible plastron, vestigial/non-existent bridge thing. This manages to look okay! I think because, talking as someone who grew up with tortoises, you at least don't see their plastrons so much. So plastrons flexing doesn't get the visceral "oh that is so wrong" that carapaces do. It makes them going into their shells look weird, though. 03 turtles just don't do that, 87 go with looking weird (the artists clearly did not have a reference sheet for this).

tmnt vs batman does this surprisingly well, actually. They also do the rigid carapace, flexible plastron, non-existent bridge. And if you look closely the bridge sort of closes up when they go into their shells, their carapace and plastron meeting and making them a bit flatter. If you don't look closely you wouldn't notice they've cheated and the turtles look good in their shells.

Rise does the fully enclosing accurate turtle shells (well, accurate for everyone except Donnie, who ought to have a vestigial bridge and a vestigial plastron as a softshell). And they do flex. And aside from one highly disturbing time when they definitely did that on purpose as a joke (Leo stretches his shell complete with spine crunching noise) they get away with it. It helps a lot that they live in a flexible world. Laptops flex. Phones flex. Walls flex if you hit them right. Sure, shells flex, it's probably not real flexing just flexible vibes.

12 runs into a few problems which mostly boil down to being 3D. The fully enclosing shells look really nice in 2D or even in still 3D images. But as is the nature of 3D it's not a case of someone drawing this out and deciding when to flex the shell to make something work, the shell has been modelled as flexible. Once you notice it you notice the shell flexing in scenes where it wouldn't have made a difference if the shell had been rigid. The carapace twists slightly over the hips as they run, bends at the waist when a turtle looks back over his shoulder, dents slightly when they go into their turtley crouch on all fours on anything but a level surface.

These guys have shells the consistency of a wellington boot.