#sarg lore!!

[sargeantsarmy]

9 People to Get to Know Better

Heyy, thanks for the tag @ghostradiodylan!!

1. Three ships: Omg omg omg Rylan<333 they mean the whole damn world to me rn. Also Nick/Salim ough, so underrated and deserve more. And also, a classic, Nomad/Firebreak from the Call of Duty: Black Ops series. they are soo !!! (actually really funny that my cod hyperfixation didn’t infect my Tumblr)

2. First ever ship: hard to remember, but it was probably Puppet/Golden Freddy from Fnaf💀💀

3. Last song: the idea of you - revisited by Mxmtoon (dude fuck it’s so good)

4. Last film: I’m gonna say Nimona and that was so damn long ago. I don’t watch movies every often

5. Currently reading: Nothing. Ever. Only fanfiction, sorry.

6. Currently watching: UHM OK That that reality tv show Playing it Straight, but I’m watching it ironically istg😭

7. Currently consuming: Hot chocolate :)

8. Currently craving: Pickles and cottage cheese please please please

Tagging @blubaryboy @imahyperfixatedbitch @unhingedlesbear @boom-ovaries-gone @potato-lord-but-not bro bro I don’t have 9 um ok no pressure btw!!

[sargeantsarmy]

Listen I

I didn’t think I was THAT MUCH like him… until the whole ‘I felt awkward in an uncomfortable social situation’ part and realized, oh shit. that’s so me wait wtf. I went to theater camp earlier this year before I completed the game, and let’s just say I, ahem, overcompensated by telling a bunch of jokes the entire time. Like, I even knew people there(it was even worse my first year) and I still was trying to make people laugh and smile, and I was hiding behind jokes. Also was desperately trying to push down any and all anxiety throughout camp(like someone I know), but also almost had a panic attack playing zip zap zop lmfao

hello the quarry tumblr i come bearing gifts (a uquiz) (you should do it)

[ibetittering]

The washing machine one has more than one meaning if yk what I mean, anyways just learned my great grandma had ties to the mafia

(Part 13)

[heartsmourne]

re: lrb, i am also eating salsa and chips which is NOT HELPING

[correctrvbquotes]

Cut to the Reds in the cave, with Grif shaking off the effects of having been forcibly unconscious

Sarge: Shake it off, you big orange baby, what happened to you?

Donut: He's been chasing the dragon.

Simmons: Donut, shut up, he was drugged just like me.

Donut: That's what I'm saying! He fell off the wagon, and shook hands with the Devil!

Simmons: Shut up!

Donut: He's been ridin' the wave, and trippin' the technicolor dreamscape. Far out, man. Druggie loser.

Simmons: Will. You. Stop, Donut?! All you're doing with your stupid anti-drug lingo is making me actually want to try drugs.

Donut: Choose life, Simmons. Choose it.

Simmons: Yeah, that sounds like fun.

Sarge: Who knocked you out, Grif? Was it those dirty Blues?

Grif: No, some kind of bat-person.

Sarge: Bat-person!?

Simmons: Sarge, I'm not sure Grif knows what he's talkin' about.

Sarge: Grif doesn't know what he's talkin' about, eh? Stop the fuckin' presses.

Simmons: No. I mean specifically right now. Whatever chemical they used to knock us out may be affecting his perception or his memory.

Donut: And it could cause undue stress to his family, and seriously impair his ability to operate a me-

Simmons: SHUT UP, DONUT!

Grif: I wasn't hallucinating. There was some kinda crazy bat thing, and another guy, and they were talkin' about a kid. And a sword. Some kinda deal they made.

Donut: Hokay wait, is this a joke? This is a prank on me, right? You guys found my Harry Potter fan fiction.

Grif: This has nothing to do with you, Donut.

Donut: Hokay, right, sure. Well if the bat person turns out to be a sailor, and the guy turns out to be a bartender, and the sword turns out- well, let's just say this all sounds a little too familiar.

Grif: I'm telling the truth! This really happened.

Sarge: Sure, we believe you buddy! Note to Simmons, Grif has gone mad. Need to kill him ASAP.

Grif: I'm not crazy!

Sarge: Second note to Simmons, Grif has developed super hearing. Possibly acquired from the bat people! Post-note: original plan still applies.

Grif: Wait a second- I can prove I'm not crazy, 'cause of the bomb, the bomb!

Simmons: Yeah, that's a good way to prove you aren't insane. Just start screaming "the bomb, the bomb."

Grif: The bomb was there! That's how I could understand what was being said. They needed him to translate.

Sarge: The bomb? You mean that loud-mouth guy?

Grif: Yeah, the enormous ball that's always ready to explode.

Donut: Hokay seriously, there's coincidence, and then there's outright plagiarism. I'm gonna have to sue somebody.

[karvviie]

would actually do anything to hear more about ur arcane rvb thoughts, who are the pilties who are the zaunites i need to knoww

wait okay i haven’t thought this AU out super thoroughly yet but here are my thoughts on what each character would be so far:

church - piltie who moved to zaun because of amnesia reasons. if we’re going along with rvb lore then he is possibly some kinda fucked up clone as a result of dr leonard church experimenting with the arcane.

caboose - zaunite, probably a relatively well known person in the community. known for fixing stuff for people but also breaking stuff.

tucker - zaunite, close to caboose. hangs out at kai’s club/bar a lot. they meet church in zaun and they all sorta just stick together.

tex - zaunite (allison was also a zaunite while leonard was a piltovan) maybe also a fucked up arcane clone of sorts?

wash - low-class piltovan who was an enforcer that got fucked over by the system and had to move to zaun. he becomes disillusioned with piltover. carolina was his CO at one point.

carolina - piltovan. former enforcer mainly because her dad wanted her to be one. similar to rvb lore she goes into hiding in zaun after a bunch of fucked up stuff happens and then she tries to go back and kill leonard with the help of the reds and blues which she meets through wash in zaun.

sarge - former enforcer who was discharged for various mental health reasons. possibly not native to either piltover or zaun so he dgaf about being loyal to either he’s just an enforcer bc being in the military is all he knows. but he ends up staying in zaun after he was forced to quit being an enforcer.

simmons - piltie who got disowned by his father (or possibly exiled) so he moved down to zaun. maybe a former student at piltover academy who got expelled for doing some stupid science shit.

grif - zaunite, lives with his sister in the club/bar that she owns in the lanes. simmons probably moves in with them after getting kicked out bc grif saves his ass from getting mugged and then simmons returns the favour by fixing a bunch of broken stuff at the bar or whatever. also yes grif and simmons still do the organ sharing/cyborg stuff in this AU.

donut - ok i’m actually not sure about him. i feel like he could work as either zaunite or piltovan but i think maybe he could be a firefly

doc - piltovan medic who wants to help less privileged areas in zaun so he often goes between cities trying to provide medical aid

[tuckersno1defender]

another thing that gets me about RVB is that we get all these small pieces of lore about characters scattered here and there but then they never expand on it or use it to flesh out these characters developments?

Like wdym North and Souths parents were the ones who put them in the Freelancer program? Why? Did they know that one of their kid was gonna have a fucking computer program implanted into his head???

And what about Kaikaina accidently burning down the family home and having su!cidal tendencies and unhealthy coping mechanisms because of it as well as her and Grif's unstable upbringing

How did Caboose and Sarge get to be basically prodigies when it came to robots/machines like Sarge made Simmons a cyborg and Simmons was able to still function normally still?

Also Caboose was able to give Church different bodies??? LIKE HE CAN BE TRUSTED WITH THAT BUT NOT WITH HIS OWN GUN????

What about the other freelancers?? Like we heard that story of York and Carolina meeting at the bar so they knew each other before rhe project?

Also what about Tuckers family? The fact that his mom died was said in the middle of a conversation like it was throw away fact but thay clearly something that played a huge role in impacting him and built onto his self depreciation that he masks with this "funny/idiot" persona when he's clearly so much more than that

Idk maybe some of this has been explained in other content that I haven't seen yet but there's so much unexplored with everyone it would've been nice to see things get explained upon a bit more

[flatstarcarcosa]

only useful thing to come out of the finale is that sarge is dying in the au now. i'd never considered it or thought of it before, despite coming up w some decent serious lore for him i stupidly did not copy paste but i digress.

i don't have the where/when/how/why yet but it WILL involve sarge having always said if he begins conversion simmons is duty bound to shoot him "before i forget how much i hate grif!"

except it ends up being sarge and grif when it happens and sarge tells him he always loved him like a son and then shoots himself so no one else has to do it.

rvb finale sure was a thing huh

[greg1sd0ingstuff]

Dropping this Steven Universe AU because I was too scared to post it before 🌝 (I'm pulling lore out of my asscrack for the sake of this AU, ur welcome.)

S1 vs S2+ (I cut sarge out of the last one because he kinda looks ass)

I will make more fusions btw, trust 🙏

[codename-sleuth]

Agent file: 24601. "Sleuth". (Character sheet!)

Name: [CLASSIFIED]

Codenames and Nicknames: Sleuth, Detective, Recon, 24601, Agent 24601, Intelligence, Bing bong clock mother******, Chestnut (by [REDACTED]), Rogue Agent (by Sarge), Charmer (by ???), Anomaly 24601, Clockhead (by Evren). Motives: Protecting the anomalies. Goals: ???

Gender: Male, He/him Species: Unstable hybrid (Human & ???)

Sexuality: Unsure

Religion: Unsure.

Age: 28 (2017). Born July 24th, 1989.

Height: 5 feet 10 inches.

Weight. 138 lbs.

Physical Appearance: Caucasian, messy brown hair, clock mask pointing to exactly 2:00, Wirey, good posture. His left arm seems to be withered and gray, almost like that of a corpse.

Disorders and Mental illnesses: PTSD, severe anxiety, retrograde amnesia + anterograde amnesia [both fluctuate], survivor's guilt, avoidant attachment, depression, hypervigilance, codependency, suicidal ideation, night terrors, sleep paralysis, insomnia, dissociative flashbacks.

Complexes: Savior Complex [he feels like he needs to protect the people he cares about no matter what].

Physical Disorders: Space-time phasing, chronic pain in left arm, traumatic brain injury.

Dominant hand: Ambidextrous. Blood color: Purple.

Positive personality traits: Protective, caring, smart, generous, loyal, emotionally intelligent. Negative personality traits: Anxious, distrustful, cowardly, antisocial, indecisive. 

Alignment: Lawful neutral. Vague backstory: Sleuth used to want to be a historian, However, due to a severe blow to the head, he developed a serious disability that affected his ability to remember certain facts and events. Instead, he became an operative for a mercenary unit employed by Anomalous Occult Foundation, serving as reconnaissance. This is where he earned the codename Sleuth. He was a very skilled operative and was utilized quite frequently as his memories containing classified information were relatively easy to suppress. He knows he’s done bad things. On one of his missions, an anomaly resulting in the death of his entire troop, including his romantic partner, left him stranded on a remote island. [He has more lore, but where’s the fun in revealing it all here?]

Job: “Private Investigator”, Inventor.

Languages: English, Spanish, ASL, French, German, Russian, Greek, Portuguese [One of the things he can consistently remember!]

Loves: [REDACTED]

Likes: Small spaces, handshakes, physical touch, clear instructions, being considered friends, anomalies, contingency plans, feeling safe.

Indifferent with: People who make him feel threatened.

Dislikes: Words of affirmation, being handed things, narcissism, lying people, foods with slimy textures, american football, organized religion.

Hates: “Sarge”, himself, murder, A.O.F.

Obsessions: Contingency planning. Addictions: Self harm.

Powers: Multiversal phasing, Lifesteal touch, Flash step, Bullet time, Precognition, Blindsight/Echolocation, Enhanced reaction time, slightly enhanced speed, enhanced perception, Regenerative abilities (VERY slow). Skills: Survival, combat, intelligence, deduction, investigation, engineering. Weaknesses: Normal human weaknesses, dying, his own contingency plan, memory, [REDACTED]

Flaws: Anxiety, memory problems, stubborn. When confronted with something he hasn’t planned for his fight or flight response will freeze for a second out of pure anxiety. Prone to panic attacks.

Favorite places: His apartment, Heaven, Daisy’s attic, his crate, His office. Favorite foods: Chinese takeout, anything he can make. Favorite Flower: Dandelions.

Scent: Petrichor. Favorite color: Dark red. Hobbies: Puzzles, listening to music, singing and playing guitar, tinkering with watches and small mechanical objects, listening to radio shows, journaling, reading, inventing machinery. Comfort objects: Pocket watch, mask, dogtags. Stims: Rubbing index and middle finger together, bouncing leg, pacing. Awareness: VERY aware. [EFFECT: ???] Fears: Not being able to trust anyone, people hating/leaving him, doctors, hospitals, therapists, failing everyone.

Lives in: Brooklyn, NY. (2017) Weapons: Anything he can find. He usually carries a gun (Interference), Knife, and Smoke bomb. Themes: 

Calm theme: Mackay - Ren

Combat theme: Snakes (From Arcane) - PVRIS, MIYAVI

Voice claim: Sam Porter Bridges - Death Stranding

Relations: (% Represents how much he trusts a person, not how much he likes them!)

Family: ???

Friends: Cosmic!! (65%), Aculia (40%), Daisy (65%), Kriston (35%), Jonah (20%), February (20%), Dan (20%), Clover (20%) Zandeee (30%), Marcid (35%).

Acquaintances: Cookie Star (10%), Jessa (20%), Radio (0%), Grat (10%), Cosmo (30%).

Frenemies: None.

Enemies: Sarge (1%), Maviel (0.1%), XXE (0%), Vini (0%).

Partners: None.

Pets: None.

Boss: Sarge (Ex-boss) (1%), Ebrofour (Current) (30%).

Alters (In Order of Emergence):

Acheron Hamilton/Chestnut.

Acheron Pythius.

The Boxer.

[REDACTED].

Agent 24601/Charmer.

The Decayed.

Sleuth/Anomaly 24601/Clockhead (Host).

[pokemonribbonsnleagues]

I’m back I finally finished ruckus’s lil character sheet!

So lore

Ruckus was a failed shiny hatch for a show Pokémon breeder his mama was a mightyena but his poppa was a lycanroc, which is why cosmetically ruckus appears more canid like than hyena or aardwolf.

Ruckus was caught by Ripley while traveling with Brid in Hoenn. Ruckus was very hyperactive and obsessed with sarge and duchess and thought they were his parents for a while.

He took to house training very easily and just seemed excited to be in so many new places and to be on a team for the first time!

After an incident in Alola, Ripley went home to continue his recovery. He’d start working out and get intense training from sarge who later on had a mild episode where due to stress devolved. Ruckus would step in to help Ripley after this.

It took a while but the two were in perfect sync when it came to training and doing proper exams to get Ruckus fully certified as a service Pokémon to assist Ripley in day to day life.

He’s very good at keeping paparazzi away with his intimidation ability which he uses to make sure ripley has space if he is on the verge of blacking out or going into shock. He also helps Ripley with balance due to an injury that damaged the inner ear

[sargeantsarmy]

Hiii! Totally hypothetical question that is No Suspicious At All; what genre of fanfic do you prefer to read? Angst? Crack? Fluff????

have a nice day :)

🤨

Not suspicious my ass

I'm honestly cool with anything other than heavy angst, hurt/no comfort, etc etc. Tooth-rotting fluff with hurt/comfort and smut at the end is where its at

[turkwriter]

Reds and Blues, D&D Style

Simmons: Chthonic Tiefling Wizard with a Scribe background and Evoker subclass

Caboose: Cloud Giant Goliath Wizard with a Hermit background and Necromancer subclass

Grif: Hill Dwarf Bard with an Entertainer background and College of Lore subclass

Sarge: Rock Gnome Barbarian with a Sailor background and Path of the Berserker Subclass

Tucker: Blue Dragonborn Fighter with a Guard background and Champion subclass

Church: Aasimar Sorcerer with a Sage background and Clockwork Sorcery (Alpha)/Aberrant Sorcery (Epsilon) subclasses

Donut: Lightfoot Halfling Warlock with a Farmer background and Great Old One Patron subclass

Wash: Elf Rogue with a Wayfarer background and Soulknife subclass

Doc: Human Cleric with an Acolyte background and Life Domain subclass for himself, but a Charlatan background and Trickery Domain subclass for O'Malley

Lopez: Human Druid with an Artisan background and Circle of the Stars subclass

Tex: Half-Orc Ranger with a Soldier background and Hunter subclass

Carolina: Half-Elf Monk with a Noble background and Warrior of the Open Hand subclass

Locus: Orc Paladin with a Criminal background and Oath of Vengeance subclass (changes to the Oath of Devotion after his Heel Face Turn)

Sister: Hill Dwarf Bard with an Entertainer background and College of Dance subclass

[fishfingersalad]

Rvb bbc ghosts x buzzfeed unsolved au Leonard “Alpha” Church III and his older sister Carolina Church inherit a creepy manor in the middle of nowhere halfway across the country after their great grandfather Leonard “Epsilon” Church dies of old age (yes Epsilon being their great grandfather is odd, it's for lore reasons).

Church’s college roommate Tucker has a ghost hunting youtube channel (Church edits his videos for him) and decides the manor seems spooky so he tags along to check it out with his co host (Kai) and camera/audio guy (Caboose) as well as Junior. Tex (Churches on again off again gf) comes along to bully them for getting scared, whenever she ends up on the show their views go up so they don’t complain. Carolina doesn’t wanna be stuck alone with Church’s friends so she invites her workout buddy Wash.

Unbeknownst to them, Tuckers “rival” youtube channel (the reds, Simmons is video and editing, Grif is audio, Lopez is in charge of their other equipment) catch wind of their plan to investigate the manor (Kai told Grif who accidentally let slip to Sarge) and they (literally just Sarge) take it as a challenge and they decide (are forced by Sarge) to follow the others to the manor to do their own investigation (Donut flirts with Locus the gas station attendant. This is important to me for some reason). Doc is unofficially part of the red team crew as first aid aka he follows them around bc he's worried about them going to all these abandoned buildings with no medical knowledge

Cw: talk of deaths in some detail, especially fires.

The Manor is actually haunted, by fifteen different ghosts:

Wyoming: 1840’s, fell out a window onto a weathervane

Florida: 1960’s, aspirin overdose 

York: 1980’s, car crash, has poltergeist abilities

North: 1850s, arsenic poisoning

South: 1850s, arsenic poisoning

Maine: 1910s, hunting accident, can sometimes be seen as a looming shadow in the dark

Ct: 1940s, military spy, shot

479er: 1960s, pilot, small aircraft crash

AI: 1920s, Children of a rich man who burned his house down while his wife was away with their youngest son, Leonard “Epsilon” Church (age 2 at the time). Delta (17), Theta (7), Eta (11), and Iota(11) died from smoke inhalation,  Gamma (15) and Omega (14) were burned,  Sigma (18) escaped the fire but succumbed to infection while still on the manor grounds. All of the ai ghosts carry a smell of smoke wherever they go (I have a drawing of them somewhere)

The only ones who can see the ghosts without outside influence (cameras, sensors, that stuff) are Church, Carolina, Wash, Donut, and Caboose, due to all five of them having near death experiences in their pasts, and later Doc after he’s possessed by Omega. Junior is also able to see ghosts though no one is sure why. 

Most of the au’s “story” is just silly interactions with the ghosts pranking the youtubers and various shenanigans. Wash deadpan pretends there are no ghosts to annoy both York and Tucker. Junior befriends Theta, Eta, and Iota, which concerns Tucker to no end especially since he tends to act like a horror movie child, all “Daddy, the lady with the hole in her head is in the corner again, daddy my friends with no faces wanna go play outside”. Sarge has a holy water super soaker that he carries everywhere incase of “ghouls”. South takes great joy in tormenting Simmons specifically. York follows the youtubers around and throws things at them, he only uses his poltergeist abilities for mischief. Ct finds a secret joy in sneaking up on Church to make him jump. Donut keeps telling his friends that the ghosts are there and real but none of them really believe him despite York pelting them with random objects. Wash finds a stray kitten and the ghosts are all immediately infatuated and begin following it around. Florida and Donut gossip together. Doc has to figure out how to deal with a rage fueled fourteen year old taking over his body. Tex punches Tucker on camera and it becomes their most popular video to date. Their second most popular video includes Tucker being attacked by Sarge with his holy water super soaker.

I just have so many little silly ideas about them...

[karvviie]

out of curiosity? What do you think Simmons's, Donut's and Sarge's ages were in Blood Gulch season 1. also the Blues too if you don't mind.

okay under the cut are my headcanons for the ages of rvb characters at the start of season 1, with some of my reasons:

Grif, 24

I hc that he joined the unsc when he felt that Kai was independent enough to take care of herself. This was probably to get away from his responsibilities and home life/work/college situation, in the hopes of a more structured and uncomplicated lifestyle. He has mentioned going to college (but likely dropped out to join the army). He was also stationed at a different colony before being transferred to project freelancer (possibly due to the massacre of his entire unit)

Kai, 18

She probably joined the military immediately once turning 18 to follow Grif. It has been implied that Kai legally cannot drink, and possibly “too young” to join the military

Simmons, 25

I hc that he studied for a few years before deciding to join the military, mainly to get away from his father while also doing something that would allow him to prove himself. He probably spent a lot of time retaking exams because he kept performing badly due to his anxiety etc. He has mentioned being stationed somewhere else before getting transferred to project freelancer.

Donut, 19

I hc that he joined the military thinking he would be able to explore the wider universe, meet new people and have a greater purpose since he grew up working on his family’s farm, most likely a bit sheltered and isolated. Very rookie.

Sarge, 45

This is a rough estimate, I think he could be anywhere between 40-50 tbh. It’s usually assumed that he’s decently older than everyone else. Most people retire from the military after 40, so to me it would make sense that sarge gets recruited to be a simulation trooper once he’s reached the age where the unsc would see him as expendable (also due to his mental health)

Carolina, 29

Canonically born in 2523, Carolina would have been around 29 years old during season 1. By estimating the years of when events happen, she would be about 33 when we first meet her in season 8, and around 26 when the Alpha started getting fragmented. She probably enlisted young and climbed the ranks fast.

Wash, 33

According to the rvb wiki which compares the halo timeline to the rvb ultimate fan guide: “Wash did his basic training in the Leonis Minoris system before the system's implied destruction. Leonis Minoris is an actual star system in Halo that was all but destroyed in 2537 by the Covenant. Assuming this is the same system, Wash enlisted at 18 and he completed training in the same year as the system's destruction, this would make his birth year 2519.” This means he would be around 34 years old when we first meet him during Recovery One, and about 30 when the Alpha started getting fragmented. He also enlisted during the Great War, became a corporal, and was moved around multiple different systems before the events that lead to him joining PFL. Despite evidence showing that this is his canon age, I still perceive him to be a few years younger than this, closer to Carolina’s age.

Tucker, 22

The way that he acts in the first few seasons feels quite juvenile to me, so I perceive him as being younger than Grif and Simmons. This assumption is based on how Captain Flowers talks to him as well as some of his early lines where he seeks approval from Church.

Caboose, 19 (?)

I honestly have no idea what age he would be but since he’s written as a fresh rookie he’s probably young. Or he could even be older than the others. who knows.

also some extra timeline info based on the fan guide and other estimates on how events line up with halo lore:

Season 1 starts around the year 2552, and assuming season 19 did not retcon the previous seasons, season 17 ends around 2558.

Season 18 (zero) where the reds and blues are mostly retired, most likely happens somewhere between 2560-2564.

Season 13 ends in the year 2557, meaning the season 19 finale probably also takes place in 2557 or 2778.

[uinferno]

If I got to write the final season of RvB I think I'd really lean into the theme of letting go. That's always what the story was about, at least post after season 5, but that was predominantly about letting go of people. For this hypothetical ending, I'd say it's letting go of Duty.

Think about it, at the end of every season so far, even casual endings, the Reds and Blues still wear their armor. Yeah, it's because it's all filmed in Halo and nobody wants a face reveal, but on a watsonian level they keep returning to "bases." Never "homes." Sarge always wanted to die in battle. Carolina, even when presumed dead, enlisted as a foot soldier. Washington stuck with PFL or was in jail. Hell, even those less invested like Grif stuck with it in spite of his complaints. Why? Why do they keep going back? Or in other words, "why are they here?"

In some way, they can't let go of this duty. They can't return to civilian life. Even when told they were simulation troopers in a fake war the entire time they refuse to give up. So, just like I think they learned to let go of Allison, Tex, Church, the Freelancers, and others, they also need to let go of this life.

I would have tied the villain in with this inability. Maybe make them the UNSC. The show had been progressively building them up as such. First PFL, the Charon, the Blues and Reds. They all tie back to the UNSC.

In Halo Lore, the Spartans were first used to quell insurgents. Not Aliens. Other humans. PFL was built to fight the covenant, but they were turned on insurgents. I think a UNSC after the Human Covenant War, now no longer faced with extinction, begins to crack. That bottomless pit of defense spending? Gone. No longer can they throw money at rounding up boot camp flunkies and dumping them in a box canyon in the middle of nowhere. Or manipulating genocidal civil wars. And they can't let it go.

That's what I would have done, at least.