#sasappis get behind me!!!!

[isabellaofparma]

okay cbs ghosts writers another virgin joke and i'm going to start killing people

[roanofarcc]

'TILL DEATH DO WE PART (KIND OF)

pairing. sasappis x ghost-bride!reader

summary. the afterlife wouldn’t have been too bad if you hadn’t accidentally killed yourself along with your no-good husband. now you were stuck with a bitter taste in your mouth and his voice in your ear. luckily, the band of ghosts at woodstone favored you over him. 

warnings. dead!reader, mention of murder, toxic previous relationship, the patriarchy :(

word count. 1k || masterlist

“Watch the wine. Don’t let the women near the glasses,” Matthew said, his words low and drawn out to make his point. You rolled your eyes, itching to kill him all over again. 

It wasn’t that you believed murder was a good solution to one issue. You, all of your life, had prided yourself on your good morals and ladylike ways of the time. But when your parents forced marriage upon you with a rich, horribly ill-mannered, terrible man, murder seemed like the only viable solution. Without a husband, you’d go nowhere in society, but as a newlywed window, you garner the sympathy of the town along with funds that your father would gain due to the terms and agreements of the marriage. He, while a stern man, certainly would have set you up for life with the inheritance and you could have lived the rest of your days reading in a garden happily. 

Unfortunately, you had forgotten which glass you had poisoned and poured some into your own, thinking it was his. When everyone toasted at your wedding, you and him took your final breath and joined the odd group of the fellow deceased at Woodstone. Fate had forced you into an afterlife listening to Matthew bitch and moan at every given opportunity. If you could kill him again, you would. 

“They seem rather in love,” you said, hands locked together on your lap. “I doubt we’ll have anyone else join us tonight.” 

When a wedding was thrown at the mansion, you felt bitter at the happy matrimonies. You understood that times changed and progression was a wonderful thing, but you wished for the ability to marry of your own choice back when you were alive. You would have lived longer, no doubt, and maybe even found someone who loved you beyond a business arrangement.  

“You know, you don’t have to be here,” Trevor said to Matthew, annoyance clear in his tone. 

Matthew shrugged and tossed you a dirty look. “I simply want to observe what I did not get, thanks to my wife.” The way he said the title made your skin crawl; he dangled it over your head, and talked about how that meant - even in the afterlife - that he owned you. 

Sam, the lovely modern woman she was, had dispelled that notion and told you that marriage was not about ownership but partnership. Even if it wasn’t legal, you had denounced your marriage to Matthew and it was known between all of the ghosts and Sam that you were not his wife in the afterlife. 

“Not your wife,” Sasappis muttered, seated at your side with his arms crossed over his chest. He often did that, defended you. You found it sweet. 

“Legally-” Matthew began but was swiftly cut off by Thor. 

“No law,” he said. “Only ghost-rules.” 

Alberta hummed in agreement. “As per ghost-rules, your sorry ass is divorced.” 

With a roll of his eyes, Matthew made himself comfortable in his seat, forever dressed in his tux that you hated but his mother had picked out. “Ghost rules,” he scoffed. “You all are horribly pathetic.” 

“And you’re a-” 

You swiftly cut off Hetty before she insulted him; not that you didn’t want that, but Matthew was not the kind to ever leave an argument be, blowing it way out of sorts. You simply didn’t have the energy for his nonsense anymore. It was easier to ignore him than humor him, you had found. 

“Until the ceremony, I’ll be in the garden. If you need me,” you looked around until your eyes fell on Matthew. “Don’t.” With that, you headed toward the backyard, where Sam and Jay had started to restore a small garden. 

The train of your dress tailed behind you and the strap on your heels forever pinched your ankle. You had gotten a say in your dress, which you were thankful for in the afterlife since you were stuck in it. At least it made you feel beautiful. 

“Wait,” Sass called from behind you, hurrying to your side. 

You furrowed your brows. “Yes?” 

He twisted his hands together in front of him, a coy smile on his lips. “Do you want some company?” 

From him, always. You hadn’t known many men in your life who listened to you the way he did. His attention made you feel like a person, real and important. Unlike Matthew, Sass enjoyed listening to you, even about the most trivial of things. And you enjoyed every aspect of him. 

“I would love some,” you said, smiling sweetly at the sparkle in his eyes. The outdoors suited him nicely, and he had a vast pool of knowledge that you were kept from as a little girl. He spoke eloquently of the swaying trees and budding flowers; you were happy to spend eternity with him, along with the other ghosts that inhabited Woodstone, aside from your ex-husband. You suppose you had gotten lucky there, that you weren’t alone with him in the afterlife. 

You looped your arm with his before you both began a quiet evening stroll, leaving behind the wedding preparation occurring inside the mansion.

“What he says, it doesn’t get to you, right?” Sass asked, a few minutes into your stroll.

“No, not as much as it once did.” When you were freshly dead, upset over the tragedy of your plan gone wrong, anything he said you to crash-landed, wounding your spirit form. But over time you gained friends with the ghosts and then in Sam. Now when Matthew spewed his hateful words, they rolled off of you. 

“Good,” he said, his arm comfortably pressed against yours. “Because he’s an idiot.” 

You laughed, warmly, leaning your head onto his shoulder. Something about Sass made you feel whole; whatever damage Matthew had done, Sass had filled the space with his presence that resembled a breath of fresh air after a winter trapped inside. It didn’t matter what had been, only what could be in your newfound life in the afterlife.

[victoria-dreamer4]

Sasappis x female new ghost reader

Friends and more.

This is my first romance fanfiction so please go easy on me I only choose this character because there's not a lot of him. I also like to say I have dyslexia so if there is this misspelling or phrase is weird. I will fix it later thank you. Also it's going to be short this is more of me trying to do more romantic fanfiction.

(y/n) was a new ghost in woodstone being one of the new recent ghosts. All the ghosts are friendly most of them were one intended to avoid (y/n).

Sasappis was friendly but he avoided the most almost as if he didn't want to talk or was too shy. The other would say something about him acting weird or not acting as itself. So one night when all it ghosts and Sam and jay where sit watch tv. (Y/n) Wanting to join them. Sasappis got up and left without a word "did I do something to make him dislike me" say (y/n). Sam looks at (y/n) " no he's just ummm how do I put it" she looks at hay as if he had a answer.

Jay trying to help his wife say " he's just nervous around pretty girls" Sam looks at him as if he just told a secret. " What Jay is trying to say is. Sasappis thinks you're cute and well the last ghost he thought was cute"

Isaac sighs as he said" stamped on his heart" Alberta looks at Isaac " way to lay it on thing" and she shakes her head.

Albert looks at (y/n) "Sasappis just don't want his heart broken again. He is the only one out of us all to not actually have a partner in life"

Sam nods her head " exactly you see he doesn't hate you it just he doesn't know what to do " jay nod " guy has it ruff."

(y/n) nods her head "alright thank you. It helps that someone told me what was going on." She smiled walking away.

Later that day as everyone was going to bed. (Y/n) Reach out grabbing Sasappis are "can we talk please" (y/n) say softly. Sasappis nod " yeah what's up" he says looking up the stairs then at (y/n). He takes a deep breath as he looks at her.

(y/n) looks at him and says " I was told by the others you find me cute. Well I want to say I do as well but they also told me you're scared of getting your heart broken. So I was thinking we start by maybe talking and seeing where things go" she telts her head to the side waiting for his answer " you don't have to answer now but I will like to get to know you" she smiled

Sasappis looks a taken back he rubs the back of his neck as he smiles " I actually would like that. Um how about tomorrow we go on a walk around woodstone property. Chat about whatever we want " he looks at (y/n).

(y/n) smile and nodded there head " I would like that a lot actually. What time" she clap her hand behind her back. Sasappis thinks" well jay making pancakes tomorrow and I do love the smell of those so um sometime after breakfast " he said

"perfect " say (y/n) waving him as they go to there room. One out of sight Sasappis smile as he walks upstairs feeling like he just won big time.

[originalwinnercheesecake]

Who from the ghosts pasts would it be fun to meet

We get some good episodes of ghosts (Metaphorical or literal) from the main 8's past coming back. We have met some... interesting characters, and there are some more it would still be cool to meet. So I thought I would make a list of the ghosts and who from their pasts it would be fun meet. Note I do not necessarily know how this person/ghost would come back, I just think it would be fun to see them.

Thorfinn: I do not want anybody else from Thor's past. The arc with Bjorn was sweet, and I do want it revisited in season four. But seriously Thor's old crew were jerks who left him behind. Thor hasn't once mentioned Bjorn's mother (Thor's wife???) and given that he has canonically had at least three serious relationships since becoming a ghost, it is pretty clear he has moved on from her. if hey had to they could maybe do an episode where Bjorn is able to bring his deceased wife back for a day, and introduce her to Thor. That would maybe be fun since it forces Thor to be pleasant to a danish person.... But I also think it is pretty fun that Bjorn is with Judy (50's Hetty) now, and she has expressed that she is not cool with poly life... Hopefully one day would not upset her enough to break up with Bjorn.

Sasappis: Okay anyone who we meet from Sass's life needs to be in a situation like him and Shiki, i.e. haunting some part of the Hutson sally for 500 and something years. Because otherwise 1.) It has been pointed out to me that Lenape Native Americans of their time did not speak English, so we would not be able to understand them. 2.) Dragging one of his people back from the afterlife to show them how completely settlers paved over their homes and wiped out their culture would be to cruel a thing to do.

Oh bonus because I thought of it after making my Season 4 wish list. If travel based ghost powers can be extended to other ghosts, then I would like Pete to take Sass to see Shiki again, and for afterwards Sass to return the favor by taking Pete inside of Jay's dreams and all three of them to shoot some hoops together.

Issac: I really really want to meet someone from when Issac was a living. He also curently has the most options of the ghosts. Beatrice, of course. We see in the season 2 Christmas special how great a person she was and how much she and Issac meant to each other, regardless of their less than ideal circumstances. Also given that in season 4 Issac will have to once again come to terms with a failed romantic relationship (Nigel), and a female friend whom he wronged/hurt (Patience). Well Beatrice is implied to view him with no ill will, so it could be really therapeutic for him to reconnect and further reconcile with her. If she told him she did not view Issac as a bad man, then that would help him not see himself as a bad man

In addition to Beatrice, I would also like to meet Issac's best friend Edmund. The unnamed brother Issac mentioned who had a wife and at least 5 sons, at least 2 of which died as children. We do not know if Issac was ever a father, but I imagine he was a really caring uncle. Hamilton! Please, please, can we get an episode where Hamilton's ghost shows up for a night and Issac is once again faced with his more successful rival. Bonus points if Hamilton does not know who Issac is, or have any recollection of ever meeting him.

Hetty: So far every time a new ghost has shown up for 1 episode it has been one Hetty knew. Which I guess is understandable since the house is her families, and a lot of the old junk in it belong to people she knew. But honestly episodes of them are hit or miss. The two episodes we got of Elias were one to many, and he does not need another episode. I know some fans really liked the episode with the maid; but I did not like her trying to blame Hetty for things that went down between her and Elias. It is clearly implied that she and her husband were Elias's employees and that they were hooking up before Elias and Hetty's marriage. Also it seems like the pair where hooking up many years, so why wasn't her son grown up?

For People from Hetty's life that we haven't met yet, but could meet in the future: I would really like to meet her sister, Margret. Show me what their relationship was like. How did Margret's life turn out? How did she react to Hetty's death? It also would be really cool to meet that stable boy that she and Issac both found hot. In that case though he has to be bisexual, or maybe just gay. I said in another post I wanted Thomas to have become a ghost after dying at a neighbors. But that I also wanted him to turn out to be as dumb and childlike as Lenny from "oMaM". Basically please only introduce Thomas if their is going to be a distinct difference between him and Elias. If he is just a gay version of his Hellish father, than there is no point.

Alberta: Well if Thomas is a ghost she deserves to get to rip into him for poisoning her. On that note please bring Earl back for one day so she can do the same to him. Forgetting the fact that he cheated on her with the guy that went on to murder her. It is cannon that Earl cheated on Alberta multiple times and she knew it. But he was her manager, and she could not break up with him without being dropped, so she felt she had to keep looking the other way and forgiving him. But that is not true now, and Alberta deserves a chance to tell him off like Hetty did to Elias in his debut episode. On a nicer note it would be sweet if they could resurrect Alberta's father. She could tell him about how people are still listening to her songs to this day, and he could maybe recite some recipes for Sam to write down, and Jay to start cooking for visitors. As far as Alberta's sister, well the only thing I have ever wondered about her was if Thomas ever did anything to hurt her too, since she was Earl's next girlfriend. If we see Alberta's x-times great niece again she had better be a successful web singer, taking a trip to where she first got the inspiration to follow in Alberta's foot steps.

Flower: I do want to see her brother Robby, and her ex Ira, who are still livings. If Robby has children/grand children they should come too. For ghosts she has other brothers who we do not knows current status, also if possible it would be cool to meet someone else whom she maybe knew during her time in the cult and the commune. It'd be weird to bring Michael back, since she is trying to move on from him with Thor. I have considered the ghost of the bear that killed her. The issues with a apex predator would be wild, but also I am not sure how you would wrap that up, and it would need to be wrapped up. Where do you go with a ghost bear guys?

Pete: Please no more people from Pete's past. Carol sucked. Jerry sucked. Pete's dad sucked. He is implied to have been an only child. I do not know why Laura and little Pete would ever want to again visit the place where both her parents/ his grandparents died. Lastly I found it cruel and disgusting that Sam and Jay brought over one of Pete's former scouts and made her recount watching a trusted adult die the way Pete did. All because Pete wasn't willing to suck it up and help Sam&Jay the way he told Flower to. No more people Pete used to know. He can visit Laura and Petey himself off screen.

Trevor: So it seems like everyone from Trevor's life is still alive. Okay He died young, and has only been dead for 20 years. We have met Arty and learned about their Friend group: except for Pinkus they all sucked. I want to to hold off on meeting Pinkus again though, because I largely suspect Trevor will be sucked off after that and I am not ready to lose him. In season 1 Trevor mentioned a Nicki Fisher, a friend with benefits he had then , who he kinda wanted to be in an actual exclusive relationship with (Like he wanted with Hetty). But, later in that same episode, we learned she had a baby with another guy she had been hooking up with at the same time, so he likely would not have gotten what he wanted with her. No need for us to meet Nicki. I have seen some people suggest that Jeremy could come back and work on the lightening at Woodstone/Jays restaurant. One person even suggested he could meet Bela. I have no objections to either of those. One final thing I was thinking is that maybe one of Trevor's parents got engaged again, and want to have their wedding at the B&B. Then we could explore Trevor going through his feelings on one of his parents finding love again, and trying to come to terms with it to support them at their wedding... Maybe we could even have Hetty offer to attend with him as friends. If it is Trevor's mom I want both her boys to walk her down the isle.

Crash, Nigel, Nancy, Stephanie: If a secondary ghost has someone from their past show up it will almost certainly end in them being sucked off. Crash is more a seasonal gag than a character, and while the show can certainly get by without him, it would be really cheep to tease a character getting sucked off again and for it to just be Crash. Especially after pulling the same stint with Ralph in the season 2 finale-season three. With Nigel I have admitted in other posts that he is my least favorite character. He is a cheater, a gas-lighter, and an asshole. But I also know he and Issac are endgame. This split between them is temporary: they need to grow as people, and will eventually (season 5 hopefully) get back together and (again hopefully) have a healthier, more equal, and caring relationship the next time around. That's what is being set up. So give Nigel the improvement he needs and do not touch him otherwise. For Nancy 1.) I would hate to lose her. She is the best secondary ghost on the show. 2.) before we get into people from her past we need to learn more about her relationships with the other basement ghosts.

Stephanie is different though. She was just a teenager when she died. The fact that she needs to sleep most of the year means she can rarely take part in house shenanigans. All the other ghosts are way older than her, and largely ignore her when she is awake. While most of the other ghosts are revealed to have had really depressing lives as livings and it could be argued ghost-hood is their second chance; Stephanie potentially had a fun life and has a lonely and really depressing afterlife. If her boyfriend from when she was alive, or maybe somehow her mom, came back and took her with them to the afterlife... well that sounds like one of the more heartwarming stories of the show

[a-roguish-gambit]

More ghost au thoughts

Sasappis watching rogue and Gambit in the kitchen from a distance and pete approaches him.

Pete: seriously? You really went into her dreams last night? I told you that was wrong!

Sasappis: relax its not like I'm forcing her to do anything, just giving her light suggestions. Besides what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

Rogue to Gambit: sugah do any of the ghosts have the ability to mess with people's heads?

Sasappis: *freezes* wait what did she just say

Gambit: *confused with what she said* ah mean Flower can make people high. Why?

Rogue: well ya see ah keep havin this same native man appearin in mah dreams over n over again demandin a pizza oven and then ah remebered you gotta ghost who keeps askin for one right?

Sasappis: oh crap I forgot she's really smart.

Gambit:... You tink Sas might be able to walk in yo dreams?

Rogue: yes and he's trying to influence me to convince you to get a pizza oven by interruptin mah dreams. Please let him know iffin he does that again I will intentionally try to walk into him when hes in the same room as me for a week at least.

Sasappis: oh fuck fuck fuck fuck

Pete: told you this was a bad idea.

Sasappis: *ducks behind pete as gambit looks up and makes eye contact with him while twirling a blank recipe card in his fingers* ok you were right now hide me!!

Gambit: Gambit tinks he might have a conversation of his own wit him first.... *charges card between his fingers and lets it disintegrated into sparks*

Sasappis: shit shit shit fuck *bolts through the wall*

Pete: I was not involved in this I swear! In fact I told him it was a terrible idea!

Gambit: *ignores pete and chases after sasappis*

[fiona-pfeiffer-caulfield]

!!! intro post !!!

hello there folks!! this is just a silly lil sideblog for posts and asks about my cbs ghosts oc, fiona pfeiffer-caulfield :3

feel free to ask questions about fiona!! just nothing nsfw please, as me (the mod) and fiona are both asexual, and i am also a minor!

please specify whether you want me to answer the questions as myself or in character as fiona! if you do not specify, i will try and figure it out myself, which i don't mind at all! but i might get it wrong.

you may request to do a roleplay, but i might turn the offer down, depending on the situation. if i accept your offer, and you want to use your own oc, please let me know a bit about them first so im not going in clueless!!

character info, full character design, mod info, and faq are all under the cut!

!!! about the character !!!

22

libra (sept. 29th)

5'6"

left-handed

biromantic

asexual

demigirl

she/her

was a dj in life

listens to pop, 80's dance, new wave, and emo

can control any audio that's playing (from a phone, a tv, etc) to change it to the music she wants to hear

can also play music without manipulating audio, but it's a lot more work and she doesn't much like to do it that way

froze to death. she was going to visit a friend when her car broke down, there was no cell service out there so she couldn't call for help, and the only person in the mansion at the time was sam's great-aunt sophie, who couldn't hear her, so she ended up passing out and dying on the property

is good friends with alberta! though they do disagree on a lot of things when it comes to music

doesn't like trevor much

she died with her phone in her pocket, so she still has it now, she tells the other ghosts it's dead though so they don't ask her to do stuff all the time

!!! full design !!!

this is the uncropped version of the picture used for this blog's pfp! it was made by me (the mod) using ibispaint! it was made over the course of four days, with fifteen and a half total hours of work put in.

!!! mod info !!!

@pretty-girls-make-gravez

andie/buffy/loki/lazuli/cobain/other names!

he/she/they/it/xe + neos

cbs ghosts is comfort show <3

15yrs old

favorite ghosts are sasappis, hetty, and flower (alberta and thor aren't far behind though)

!!! FAQ !!!

(will be added later once more asks start coming in!)

[kremblor]

I read a fic recently that had a brief mention where the ghosts took turns checking Flowers room, as she has issues after her death. And honestly I really like that idea.

Thor would weird his ax all "I shall destroy any bear in these walls" and turns it into a hunting game. I would say sings her the lullaby as well but Hetty doesn't hear it for awhile obviously so either when he does she isnt in her room or she somehow misses it.

Isaac performs the duty like a military inspection but also gets caught up in himself and talking to Flower he sometimes forgets to check certain areas (the fic had it where he never looked out the windows and honestly I can see Isaac just "why would a bear be in a closet?" As he does all this)

Sasappis is similar to Thor only weapon less and makes it more a join him thing. "See, look Flower, nothing behind this door"

Alberta hums as she does it. Every single time and its more the humming that calms Flower than the actual checking, but it works.

Pete will walk down the hallway with her to the room and ensure the whole area is clear "inside and out, see no danger"

Hetty huffs the first time she has to do it. Honestly, monsters and bears in Woodstone Manor, she would never allow such. But after the first few times she tends to do it more often than the others (again another thing from the fic with the "benefits me as she sleeps next to me" reasoning and honestly very her) and she will not only check everything but ensure Flower is actually laying down and comfortable before leaving the room.

The times Flower paces and goes on and on about things at night is when the search doesn't help and/or didnt happen (usually do to some drama or the ghosts all thought Hetty was despite it being their night as she was still not up in her room yet).

I kinda like there being little rituals like this for each other. I found one that had Isaac, Thor, and Hetty together during a thunderstorm and it became a ritual during every storm. Just ... can see there being different little help each other moments like this but they all come up with different ways for it or excuses why they do it.

[https-hunter]

Part two to this post because I’m never not thinking about ghosts

More things I’d like to see in future episodes of ghosts

Nigel backstory!! What was his life like before the war? What’s his family like? Was it difficult for him to travel across the ocean and leave his old life behind? Why is it that he’s more open about his queerness than Isaac is? When did he start to develop feelings for Isaac? Ghost power??

More. Sasappis. Plots

Hetty and Flower as roommates. I need to know how this works out for them

Jay’s restaurant!! I can’t wait to see how it develops. I hope he gets all the customers in the world

It’s not high on my list, but it would be funny if Sam did a DNA test and finds out that the Woodstones are Irish. Hetty is devastated

More vault material objects the ghosts can interact with!! Like in that one Halloween fic I wrote with the Ouija board

Farnsby drama. You’re telling me you have a mean 50 housewife, a thousand-year-old Viking, and a horny puritan living together and no drama?

Jay gets to see the ghosts, if only just once

Pete gets into stranger things. In a similar spirit, Jay mentions the star wars prequels, which reminds Trevor of a certain movie that came out the year before he died, and Pete loses his mind. The three of them spend like a whole episode marathonning every Star Wars movie

Sam’s family lore!! How is she related to the Woodstones, exactly? Her mom, her dad? Who IS Sam’s dad? There’s so much potential here

[higgintoothsblog]

The Horrors at Woodstone

This is a Ghosts CBS Horror/Spooky AU fic, enjoy! :D

Trigger Warning/TW: mention of blood, mythological creatures, far from canonical

Chapter I: Home Sweet Home

When Sam awoke from her coma, and once she finished all her evaluations, her and Jay were finally allowed to go home. They drove back to the manor, but Sam noticed something strange.

“Who are you?” Sam screamed, as the ghosts looked around in shock, all except Isaac who looked amused. “Well since you asked, I am Isaac Higgintoot, I haunt the premises as a vampire..” Isaac continued to talk about himself for two whole minutes before Sam walked up to another ghost, in the figure of a dog. 

“How’d this dog get in here? You sure you didn’t leave the door open?” Sam asked, looking over at Jay, which sent the room into silence. “I don’t see a dog honey…” Jay said, fiddling with a pair of dice in his hand. Sam looks back over as the dog is running towards Trevor, and before she could respond to her husband, the dog and Trevor merge into one being. Sam jumps back in shock, to which the room fills more. Ghosts, one abnormally tall, and many others drenched in blood.

Another ghost enters the room, he’s slightly different, showing very little blood, only a stab wound on his stomach, staining his white dress shirt, to which Sam stares for a while. “Oh!… Hello…” He stammers as he starts to realize she can see him. “The names Elias, Elias Woodstone, you must be my descendant I’ve heard all about.” Elias said, putting out his hand for her to shake. Sam doesn’t take his hand but rather standing there in shock to which Elias notices.

Elias then tries to explain their situation, and Sam starts to understand.

“Well don’t worry, I will help you navigate your new life style. Seeing the dead while walking amongst the living is something we both can relate to! I myself am dead, but every once in a while livings can see me. It’s also mighty impressive that you can do that, something that we can use to our advantages, you me both.” Elias says, as the room empties. Sam spends a moment to calm down after a stressful first encounter, as the ghosts gather in another room. All except for Elias who was going toward the lake.

“Hello Henrietta, haunting the lake as per usual?” Elias says as he’s walking up behind her, startling her. “Oh yes, the place I drowned, what is it that you wanted dear?” Hetty says, in a slightly sarcastic tone, looking over at him with her empty eyes. “Im hosting a meeting with the ghosts about the new livings that moved in, you must come!” Elias exclaims, forcibly grabbing her arm and dragging her toward the manor.

In the manor, Hetty takes her seat alongside Isaac and Sasappis. “Alright, we must discuss our situation with these livings, and I can say we all, without a second thought want them out of here!” Elias says, and despite his devilish horns clearly showing, majority of the ghosts seem onboard with his idea, except for Pete, who raises his very disfigured hand into the air. “Yes Peter?” Elias mumbled, clearly annoyed by the question. “Why do we want the livings to leave? You just said that and never said a reason why.” Pete argued, to which Isaac looks over and gasps. “Did you not see them earlier Peter, they completely ignored me!” Isaac shouts, as Pete mumbles an apology then gets quiet. “The problem is that we tried to  haunt them out, and it didn’t work. Bucky and I even tried to kill her and she and her husband still haven’t left” Trevor grumbled as Bucky went from a growl to putting his head on Trevor’s legs to comfort him. “Alright fine, if we can’t haunt her out then we must resort to the final option…”

[wromwood]

Oop, it’s Thursday. Let’s see what this week’s episode of CBS Ghosts is like. Now, this is something I can get excited about: “D&D”

- Oh, hey, we open in 1777! We watch Isaac unveil something that legit surprised me: he’s introducing a musket with a skyglass attached. He’s calling it an “Eyesaac.” I didn’t expect him to have invented a sniper rifle.

aaaaand he’s using it to spy on a British officer shaving in his shirt.

Aaaand there’s a silence while his troops find it awkward. I feel like this moment could have been done better or more subtly.

- Technically, we didn’t see Isaac’s death there, but we DID see his attitude that led to his death: he scoffs at the idea of regular handwashing to keep away dysentery.

- Jay is trying to play D&D over video chat with the rest of his party, who live in NYC. However, his internet connection is really bad and his friends are moving on without him, both in game and IRL. They even want to kill Jay’s character to fill in his role with the new friend of their group! JEEZ. No wonder Jay’s an ass sometimes when he’s got friends like that.

- WOAH! REDCOATS! IN THE SHED! INCLUDING THE ONE THAT ISAAC WAS SPYING ON!

Now THIS is interesting. These British soldiers from the American Revolution mostly stick in the shed among themselves and only visit the house once a year with complaints.

- Jay’s D&D character is called “Hitch.” Pete (who LOVED D&D when he was alive) had a character named Gelvin Monkspear.

- Awww, Jay’s actually really hyped to play with Pete and vice versa! But Sam is being really uncool about it. As we learn later, she really doesn’t like D&D.

- .... Jay, stop GUILTING HER! JUST ASK! FUCK!

Ok, an explanation for that note. Once Sam starts hinting that she doesn’t want to help them play DnD, Jay IMMEDIATELY starts passive-aggressively guilting her about how his friends don’t want to play with him, and how he’s so lonely, and how she has so many ghost friends. And it’s CLEARLY passive-aggressive guilt tripping. This can’t be confused for anything else. Which just makes me mad at Jay for not negotiating or asking out right like a goddamn adult.

Man, I miss Mike.

- The lead redcoat and the soldier that Isaac has a crush on is named Lieutenant Colonel Nigel Chessum.

- .... HIGGINTOOT?! Isaac’s last name is freaking Higgintoot? ... did I know this already?

- Aww, Isaac and Nigel BOTH have a crush on each other. That’s kinda cute! Their flirting is actually sweet. It’s not super clever, but there’s nice music behind it and everything. I actually want to see this develop.

- Sasappis and Alberta join Pete’s party. (Pete’s new character is Gelvin Monkspear II)

- Jay doesn’t know that D&D games happen over several sessions? This is your husband’s hobby, Sam, and it’s clear that he plays regularly. I guess she could have assumed that every session was just one game, but even so, that means she really didn’t pay attention to any of it.

- OK, Isaac says he has a secret he’s been keeping from Nigel all these years and that while saying it will release an immense burden, he feels it’ll hurt Nigel’s feelings. I wonder what it could be...

- Aw, after playing with him, Jay feels Pete is great! (They also bond over 80s basketball) Jay wants to play with Pete a few times per week now. It’s nice to see him learn about certain ghosts’ personalities and form friendships with them.

- WOAH SAM. YOU’RE SAYING THAT THE GHOSTS DON’T WANT TO PLAY IN FRONT OF PETE. PETE!!!! SAM, STOP FUCKING LYING!

Sorry, I felt I should preserve the caps lock of my original note. Once Jay says that he’d like to play with Pete and the other ghosts a few times a week, Sam decides to straight up lie. And in front of Pete, no less, who is in the room. She says that the ghosts decided that they didn’t like playing D&D, so Jay should just pack it up for good.

This was really confusing to me. I know that Sam has to learn a sitcom lesson at the end, but she typically wants to help the ghosts all the time... until now?! I guess she doesn’t like D&D that much. But even so, I think it’d be more in character for Sam to at least try to limit the D&D sessions first, not lie outright and make the ghosts super sad.

.... also she’s lying to her husband. Which isn’t good.

- .... and Isaac’s secret to Nigel is that he killed him. (Accidentally; Isaac sneezed while spying on Nigel through his Eyesaac rifle) Of course, Nigel didn’t expect the honest news to be THIS, and storms out. (I think Nigel is more honest about his feelings with himself than Isaac is.)

- Yes! We have a return of writing in mirror steam. (I always liked the idea of this ever since it popped up in the BBC show) And it actually works! “SHE LIED”

- Finally, Sam admits that she really didn’t like playing D&D. And Jay admits that he liked playing with the ghosts because it made him feel like part of the gang, even though he can’t see or hear them. I’m glad to hear them say these things, but I hate why they had to say it.

- Heh. The ghosts’ battling each other is essentially a slap fight. That’s really funny.

- It just occurred to me. Nigel was shot in the chest, but there’s no visible wound like with Thomas. Or if there is, his ruffly shirt hides it well.

- At first, Pete proposes that the redcoats and the house ghosts fight using D&D as a medium. Jay says, “I am happy to resolve all ghost conflicts this way.” And honestly, it’s a really fun idea!

.... too bad it’s abandoned after a MINUTE. Nigel and Isaac immediately think that the game is boring.

- One of the redcoats (I can’t remember which one was specified) chose to play a Tielfing bard.

- Awww, now Isaac and Nigel are flirting again after Isaac honestly apologizes.

- OK, I just have to say that I love how Nigel makes his redcoat fifer Baxter play him out when he leaves.

- Awww, Isaac and Nigel are going on a lil date together. (Walking through the grounds) And Baxter’s not invited.

- At least Sam agrees to continue playing D&D at the end. And while Jay is snarky and guilt-trippy, he brings up a good point: he’s joined Sam’s activities in the past to make her happy, so their relationship should have mutual effort. I feel like this should’ve been established earlier so that his mentioning it would have been an actual part of the lesson instead of just a snarkly throwaway line.

- Pfft. Sasappis made Trevor write “MAKE PIZZA” in the steam, prompting Jay to shout “This is not the new system!” Legit funny joke.

All right! That was D&D. It was equal parts fun and frustrating. I was happy to see the addition of new ghosts to the dead cast AND I like the cute romantic tension between Isaac and Nigel. However, my frustration at how Sam and Jay act in this episode keep me from calling it a total win.

Let me know what you guys thought of this episode!