#say hi to the internet Tesla

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The US Copyright Office frees the McFlurry

I'll be in TUCSON, AZ from November 8-10: I'm the GUEST OF HONOR at the TUSCON SCIENCE FICTION CONVENTION.

I have spent a quarter century obsessed with the weirdest corner of the weirdest section of the worst internet law on the US statute books: Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, the 1998 law that makes it a felony to help someone change how their own computer works so it serves them, rather than a distant corporation.

Under DMCA 1201, giving someone a tool to "bypass an access control for a copyrighted work" is a felony punishable by a 5-year prison sentence and a $500k fine – for a first offense. This law can refer to access controls for traditional copyrighted works, like movies. Under DMCA 1201, if you help someone with photosensitive epilepsy add a plug-in to the Netflix player in their browser that blocks strobing pictures that can trigger seizures, you're a felon:

https://lists.w3.org/Archives/Public/public-html-media/2017Jul/0005.html

But software is a copyrighted work, and everything from printer cartridges to car-engine parts have software in them. If the manufacturer puts an "access control" on that software, they can send their customers (and competitors) to prison for passing around tools to help them fix their cars or use third-party ink.

Now, even though the DMCA is a copyright law (that's what the "C" in DMCA stands for, after all); and even though blocking video strobes, using third party ink, and fixing your car are not copyright violations, the DMCA can still send you to prison, for a long-ass time for doing these things, provided the manufacturer designs their product so that using it the way that suits you best involves getting around an "access control."

As you might expect, this is quite a tempting proposition for any manufacturer hoping to enshittify their products, because they know you can't legally disenshittify them. These access controls have metastasized into every kind of device imaginable.

Garage-door openers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/09/lead-me-not-into-temptation/#chamberlain

Refrigerators:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/12/digital-feudalism/#filtergate

Dishwashers:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/03/cassette-rewinder/#disher-bob

Treadmills:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/22/vapescreen/#jane-get-me-off-this-crazy-thing

Tractors:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/23/reputation-laundry/#deere-john

Cars:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world

Printers:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/07/inky-wretches/#epson-salty

And even printer paper:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/16/unauthorized-paper/#dymo-550

DMCA 1201 is the brainchild of Bruce Lehmann, Bill Clinton's Copyright Czar, who was repeatedly warned that cancerous proliferation this was the foreseeable, inevitable outcome of his pet policy. As a sop to his critics, Lehman added a largely ornamental safety valve to his law, ordering the US Copyright Office to invite submissions every three years petitioning for "use exemptions" to the blanket ban on circumventing access-controls.

I call this "ornamental" because if the Copyright Office thinks that, say, it should be legal for you to bypass an access control to use third-party ink in your printer, or a third-party app store in your phone, all they can do under DMCA 1201 is grant you the right to use a circumvention tool. But they can't give you the right to acquire that tool.

I know that sounds confusing, but that's only because it's very, very stupid. How stupid? Well, in 2001, the US Trade Representative arm-twisted the EU into adopting its own version of this law (Article 6 of the EUCD), and in 2003, Norway added the law to its lawbooks. On the eve of that addition, I traveled to Oslo to debate the minister involved:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/28/clintons-ghost/#felony-contempt-of-business-model

The minister praised his law, explaining that it gave blind people the right to bypass access controls on ebooks so that they could feed them to screen readers, Braille printers, and other assistive tools. OK, I said, but how do they get the software that jailbreaks their ebooks so they can make use of this exemption? Am I allowed to give them that tool?

No, the minister said, you're not allowed to do that, that would be a crime.

Is the Norwegian government allowed to give them that tool? No. How about a blind rights advocacy group? No, not them either. A university computer science department? Nope. A commercial vendor? Certainly not.

No, the minister explained, under his law, a blind person would be expected to personally reverse engineer a program like Adobe E-Reader, in hopes of discovering a defect that they could exploit by writing a program to extract the ebook text.

Oh, I said. But if a blind person did manage to do this, could they supply that tool to other blind people?

Well, no, the minister said. Each and every blind person must personally – without any help from anyone else – figure out how to reverse-engineer the ebook program, and then individually author their own alternative reader program that worked with the text of their ebooks.

That is what is meant by a use exemption without a tools exemption. It's useless. A sick joke, even.

The US Copyright Office has been valiantly holding exemptions proceedings every three years since the start of this century, and they've granted many sensible exemptions, including ones to benefit people with disabilities, or to let you jailbreak your phone, or let media professors extract video clips from DVDs, and so on. Tens of thousands of person-hours have been flushed into this pointless exercise, generating a long list of things you are now technically allowed to do, but only if you are a reverse-engineering specialist type of computer programmer who can manage the process from beginning to end in total isolation and secrecy.

But there is one kind of use exception the Copyright Office can grant that is potentially game-changing: an exemption for decoding diagnostic codes.

You see, DMCA 1201 has been a critical weapon for the corporate anti-repair movement. By scrambling error codes in cars, tractors, appliances, insulin pumps, phones and other devices, manufacturers can wage war on independent repair, depriving third-party technicians of the diagnostic information they need to figure out how to fix your stuff and keep it going.

This is bad enough in normal times, but during the acute phase of the covid pandemic, hospitals found themselves unable to maintain their ventilators because of access controls. Nearly all ventilators come from a single med-tech monopolist, Medtronic, which charges hospitals hundreds of dollars to dispatch their own repair technicians to fix its products. But when covid ended nearly all travel, Medtronic could no longer provide on-site calls. Thankfully, an anonymous hacker started building homemade (illegal) circumvention devices to let hospital technicians fix the ventilators themselves, improvising housings for them from old clock radios, guitar pedals and whatever else was to hand, then mailing them anonymously to hospitals:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/10/flintstone-delano-roosevelt/#medtronic-again

Once a manufacturer monopolizes repair in this way, they can force you to use their official service depots, charging you as much as they'd like; requiring you to use their official, expensive replacement parts; and dictating when your gadget is "too broken to fix," forcing you to buy a new one. That's bad enough when we're talking about refusing to fix a phone so you buy a new one – but imagine having a spinal injury and relying on a $100,000 exoskeleton to get from place to place and prevent muscle wasting, clots, and other immobility-related conditions, only to have the manufacturer decide that the gadget is too old to fix and refusing to give you the technical assistance to replace a watch battery so that you can get around again:

https://www.theverge.com/2024/9/26/24255074/former-jockey-michael-straight-exoskeleton-repair-battery

When the US Copyright Office grants a use exemption for extracting diagnostic codes from a busted device, they empower repair advocates to put that gadget up on a workbench and torture it into giving up those codes. The codes can then be integrated into an unofficial diagnostic tool, one that can make sense of the scrambled, obfuscated error codes that a device sends when it breaks – without having to unscramble them. In other words, only the company that makes the diagnostic tool has to bypass an access control, but the people who use that tool later do not violate DMCA 1201.

This is all relevant this month because the US Copyright Office just released the latest batch of 1201 exemptions, and among them is the right to circumvent access controls "allowing for repair of retail-level food preparation equipment":

https://publicknowledge.org/public-knowledge-ifixit-free-the-mcflurry-win-copyright-office-dmca-exemption-for-ice-cream-machines/

While this covers all kinds of food prep gear, the exemption request – filed by Public Knowledge and Ifixit – was inspired by the bizarre war over the tragically fragile McFlurry machine. These machines – which extrude soft-serve frozen desserts – are notoriously failure-prone, with 5-16% of them broken at any given time. Taylor, the giant kitchen tech company that makes the machines, charges franchisees a fortune to repair them, producing a steady stream of profits for the company.

This sleazy business prompted some ice-cream hackers to found a startup called Kytch, a high-powered automation and diagnostic tool that was hugely popular with McDonald's franchisees (the gadget was partially designed by the legendary hardware hacker Andrew "bunnie" Huang!).

In response, Taylor played dirty, making a less-capable clone of the Kytch, trying to buy Kytch out, and teaming up with McDonald's corporate to bombard franchisees with legal scare-stories about the dangers of using a Kytch to keep their soft-serve flowing, thanks to DMCA 1201:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/20/euthanize-rentier-enablers/#cold-war

Kytch isn't the only beneficiary of the new exemption: all kinds of industrial kitchen equipment is covered. In upholding the Right to Repair, the Copyright Office overruled objections of some of its closest historical allies, the Entertainment Software Association, Motion Picture Association, and Recording Industry Association of America, who all sided with Taylor and McDonald's and opposed the exemption:

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2024/10/us-copyright-office-frees-the-mcflurry-allowing-repair-of-ice-cream-machines/

This is literally the only useful kind of DMCA 1201 exemption the Copyright Office can grant, and the fact that they granted it (along with a similar exemption for medical devices) is a welcome bright spot. But make no mistake, the fact that we finally found a narrow way in which DMCA 1201 can be made slightly less stupid does not redeem this outrageous law. It should still be repealed and condemned to the scrapheap of history.

Tor Books as just published two new, free LITTLE BROTHER stories: VIGILANT, about creepy surveillance in distance education; and SPILL, about oil pipelines and indigenous landback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/10/28/mcbroken/#my-milkshake-brings-all-the-lawyers-to-the-yard

Image: Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg

CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en

[dostoyevsky-official]

The child sextortion group 764 and the global collective of loosely associated groups known as “The Com” are using tools and techniques normally used for financially motivated cybercrime tactics — such as SIM swapping, IP grabbing and social engineering — to commit violent crimes, according to exclusive law enforcement and intelligence reports reviewed by CyberScoop.  The reports offer insight into the underbelly of the global network, showing how they are using traditional cybercriminal tools to identify, target, groom, extort, and cause physical and psychological harm to victims as young as 10. They were shared with police nationwide and in some cases, with foreign-allied governments. [...] The group “appears to be situated at the nexus of communities of users who share gore material, [Racially or Ethnically Motivated Violent Extremist-White Supremacist] adherents such as M.K.U. and child exploitation actors like 764.” M.K.U., it says, is a neo-Nazi group with a presence in Russia and Ukraine. [...] The groups use methods to trick children into sending sexually explicit photos of themselves, threaten to make the photos public unless they harm themselves, and kill or harm animals, among other crimes. The group’s members have coerced children into attempting suicide, harming themselves, siblings and animals. (x)

///

Wired reported this week that a 19-year-old working for Elon Musk‘s so-called Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) was given access to sensitive US government systems even though his past association with cybercrime communities should have precluded him from gaining the necessary security clearances to do so. As today’s story explores, the DOGE teen is a former denizen of ‘The Com,’ an archipelago of Discord and Telegram chat channels that function as a kind of distributed cybercriminal social network for facilitating instant collaboration. [...] Internet routing records show that Coristine runs an Internet service provider called Packetware (AS400495). Also known as “DiamondCDN,” Packetware currently hosts tesla[.]sexy and diamondcdn[.]com, among other domains. DiamondCDN was advertised and claimed by someone who used the nickname “Rivage” on several Com-based Discord channels over the years. A review of chat logs from some of those channels show other members frequently referred to Rivage as “Edward.” From late 2020 to late 2024, Rivage’s conversations would show up in multiple Com chat servers that are closely monitored by security companies. In November 2022, Rivage could be seen requesting recommendations for a reliable and powerful DDoS-for-hire service. Rivage made that request in the cybercrime channel “Dstat,” a core Com hub where users could buy and sell attack services. Dstat’s website dstat[.]cc was seized in 2024 as part of “Operation PowerOFF,” an international law enforcement action against DDoS services. (x)

DOGE teen is a pedophile cybercriminal involved in a neonazi CSA-producing cybergang. and he has access to your SSN.

[tomorrowusa]

Musk may have torpedoed the original House bipartisan continuing resolution last week because it would have regulated his business dealings in China.

House Democrats Jim McGovern of Massachusetts and Rosa DeLauro of Connecticut say their Republican colleagues in Congress caved to the demands of Elon Musk, sinking a bipartisan government funding bill that would have regulated U.S. investments in China. Congress passed a separate stopgap funding bill over the weekend, averting a government shutdown. In a series of posts on X, McGovern said more could have been accomplished. The scrapped provision “would have made it easier to keep cutting-edge AI and quantum computing tech — as well as jobs — in America,” he wrote. “But Elon had a problem.” Tesla, run by Musk, is the only foreign automaker to operate a factory in China without a local joint venture. Tesla also built a battery plant down the street from its Shanghai car factory this year, and aims to develop and sell self-driving vehicle technology in China. “His bottom line depends on staying in China’s good graces,” McGovern wrote about Musk. “He wants to build an AI data center there too — which could endanger U.S. security. He’s been bending over backwards to ingratiate himself with Chinese leaders.” SpaceX, Musk’s aerospace and defense contractor, has reportedly withheld its Starlink satellite internet service over Taiwan at the request of Chinese and Russian leaders. Taiwan is a self-ruling democracy that Beijing claims as its territory. Taiwan’s status is one of the biggest flashpoints in U.S.-China relations.

There's an obvious conflict of interest here. Musk doesn't want to offend China because he's worried that it may hurt his bottom line.

Musk contributed $277 million to the Trump campaign and other Republican causes during the 2024 cycle, according to Federal Election Commission filings. Since the election in November, Musk has become a nearly constant presence at Trump’s side, including in meetings with foreign leaders. Trump appointed Musk to co-lead a group that’s not yet formed, but will be tasked with finding ways to cut regulations, personnel and budgets.

At least part of the reason Musk contributed heavily to Trump and other Republicans may be to get them to go soft on China for the sake of his business interests.

[mariacallous]

I can’t believe that Elon Musk is leaving Doge, the government department he named after a tired and basic meme that most of the internet had moved on from around a decade ago. “As my scheduled time as a Special Government Employee comes to an end,” Musk wrote this week (capital letters: model’s own), “I would like to thank President @realDonaldTrump for the opportunity to reduce wasteful government spending.” Oh man. “Thank you for the opportunity”?! At some level you have to salute Donald Trump’s ability to turn even the world’s richest man into an Apprentice candidate who leaves in week four after completely wiping out in the hotdog stand task.

Musk arrived in government promising to slash spending by $2tn. He leaves it a mere $1.86tn short of that target, even by his own estimations. Meanwhile, the president’s new tax bill is set to add $2.3tn to the deficit. I imagine Musk thought his government finale would be a spectacular extravaganza – “you’re welcome, Washington!” – involving 2,000 chainsaw-wielding chorus girls. Instead, it’s a tweet. And yes – we DO all still call them tweets.

Ironically, the thing that Musk has been most stunningly effective at slashing is his own reputation. Think about it. He arrived in Trump’s orbit as a somewhat mysterious man, widely regarded as a tech genius, and a titan of the age. He leaves it with vast numbers of people woken up to the fact he’s a weird and creepy breeding fetishist, who desperately pretends to be good at video games, and wasn’t remotely as key to SpaceX or Tesla’s engineering prowess as they’d vaguely thought. Also, with a number of them apparently convinced he had a botched penile implant. Rightly or wrongly convinced – sure. I’m just asking questions.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

dave whammond

* * * *

Shocking disclosures regarding a data breach at the National Labor Relations Board suggest illegal conduct by DOGE members

Over the weekend, NPR published a lengthy story about a potential major data breach at the National Labor Relations Board. At first blush, the story sounds like it is in 45th place on the list of the most horrible things that Trump and DOGE have done in the first 86 days of his administration.

But you must pay attention to this story. It is a national scandal that suggests DOGE has intentionally exposed confidential US government information to foreign adversaries.

I will give a very brief summary, but urge you to read, listen to, or watch one of the sources I cite below.

In short, a whistleblower from the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) claims the following:

DOGE gained access to the NLRB's most sensitive information, which included labor complaints, identity of whistleblowers, identity of private employees engaged in union organizing, and enforcement actions against private companies (like Tesla and SpaceX).

DOGE turned off log files that would record their actions.

DOGE set up a “black box” inside the NLRB network so that NLRB IT personnel could not monitor what was happening.

DOGE disabled security protections, thereby exposing the NLRB’s sensitive information to the internet.

Within 15 minutes of the firewall protections being disabled, someone using an IP address in Russia used a username and password for a DOGE team member to attempt to access the NLRB information.

NLRB IT members witnessed a massive spike in information being downloaded from the NLRB servers.

A DOGE team member set up a file that was briefly visible on a public forum; the filename suggested that it was a “backdoor” download program for an NLRB-specific database.

The NLRB IT staff asked the federal Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency (CISA) security team to help launch an investigation, but the CISA investigation was peremptorily shut down without explanation.

The employee who asked CISA to begin the investigation received a typed note on his residence door which warned the employee to drop the request for CISA assistance and included personal details about the employee known only from government files. The note also included a drone photo of the employee walking his dog on a public street.

A spokesperson for the NLRB issued a statement claiming that DOGE never visited the NLRB and did not gain access to NLRB data—a statement that seems to a blatant, easily disprovable lie.

I have not done justice to the details of the story. There are three ways you can educate yourself about this story.

First, the lengthy NPR article is here: NPR, Whistleblower details how DOGE may have taken sensitive NLRB data.

Second, the NPR report has a seven-minute audio summary embedded in the article. It is an accessible entry point into the article.

Finally, Rachel Maddow did an excellent job of explaining the whistleblower allegations on Tuesday evening. I have excerpted the 20-minute segment of her show that includes an interview with the whistleblower and his attorney. See The Rachel Maddow Show, Whistleblower Excerpt, April 15, 2025.

As a personal favor to me (and you), I urge you to watch the Rachel Maddow segment. It will bring you up to speed on this scandal, which will be around for a long time and may be the undoing of DOGE.

If you watch the Rachel Maddow show, you will meet the whistleblower--Daniel Berulis—who is a loyal employee of the federal government who says that he “hopes he is wrong” in believing that DOGE exposed sensitive information to someone in Russia who was using a DOGE username and password.

At this very moment, there are hundreds or thousands of Daniel Berulises in the federal government who have not come forward. Daniel Berulis’s example should encourage them to come forward to describe other instances of DOGE misconduct or carelessness that may have harmed America’s interests.

If Berulis’s allegations are true, it is difficult to see how the conduct by at least one DOGE member does not rise to the level of a felony. We need to know more and must be open to the facts, including denials of the allegations. But the allegations are truly shocking and suggest that DOGE may have inflicted grievous injury on the US by exposing confidential information.

CODA: As shocking as the above allegations are, we have reasonable grounds for believing misconduct by Trump administration officials in seeking to conceal their unlawful actions.

Remember Signalgate? You may recall that CIA Director John Ratcliffe participated in chats on an non-secure commercial application. Congress has asked that all such communications be turned over for review.

Well, it might not shock you to learn that the CIA’s information technology team has informed Congress that none of John Ratcliff’s communications on Signal are recoverable. See MSNBC, Missing Signal messages from CIA director’s phone raise cover-up concerns.

Remember after the January 6 insurrection when most of the Secret Service’s texts were mysteriously deleted and therefore unavailable for review by the January 6 Committee? See PBS News, Government watchdog says Secret Service agents deleted Jan. 6 text messages.

Once is a mistake. Twice is a suspicious coincidence. Three times is a damning pattern. Secret Service. Signalgate. DOGE. It appears that actors within the Trump administration believe that destroying communications is an acceptable way to avoid accountability. It is up to Congress and the courts to get to the bottom of the DOGE NLRB incident and Signalgate as quickly as possible—before more evidence goes missing.

[Robert B. Hubbell Newsletter]

[godmadeaterribleerror]

Just Your Time - No Love Lost Bonus Chapter

Series Masterlist

Read on A03!

Author's Note: Silly, silly fluff. Title from ordinary things by Ariana Grande.

Word Count: 1.5k

Summary/Warnings: You give Ben internet lessons. Takes place in Chapter 14, Usual warnings.

Tags: Soldier Boy/Supe!Female Reader, canon divergence, fluff

“There are three major platforms. Instagram, TikTok, and facebook. We’re going to go one by one.” You glance up at Ben, who’s scowling down at his phone like it’s just made a very personal insult about his mother. “Why are you making your grump face.”

His glare turns to you. “I don’t make a fucking grump face.”

“You do. You get all pouty, and the lines here,” you reach up, tapping a finger between his brows. “Get deeper.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Tell me why you’re being a baby.”

“I am not being a goddamn baby-“

“Benjamin.”

“This is fucking stupid.” He snaps, glower returning to the phone. “I don’t need to know about Instagran or tiktak-“

“Tiktok,” you grin at him. “And Instagran was a big Freudian slip, Pretty Boy. It’s Instagram.”

“I don’t fucking care what they’re called, this is fucking pointless shit for shallow pussies-“

“Oh, fuck off, I’ve seen you flexing in the bathroom mirrors, Ben.”

“That’s different. You fucking love it, and it’s to make I haven’t lost any fucking muscle-“

“You are biologically incapable of losing muscle. And this is shallow,” you shrug. “But it’s fun. And you promised you’d do it.” 

He scowls. “Fine.”

“Can I get a little more enthusiasm-“

“No. Start talking.”

You wrinkle your nose at him, scooting closer to reach over his arm, pointing to the apps as you speak. “Instagram. TikTok, Facebook. There’s also YouTube, but that will have to be a whole other thing, and Snapchat, but you’d hate that-“

“Why.”

“Have you ever wanted to have all your messages instantly deleted and look like a puppy dog in the camera?”

“No, that sounds dumb as fucking balls.”

“Then no Snapchat. That’s Twitter, but-“

“Says X on it.” Ben drawls your name, giving you a smug look, and you sigh.

“Well, that’s why we’re not talking about it. If I tell you about Elon Musk and Tesla, you’ll have an aneurysm and that would just be huge bummer for me.”

“Aw, Sunshine,” he leans down, bumping your nose with his. “Would you fucking miss me? Get all damn sad if I died?”

It’s very difficult to hold your ground. Ben’s hand has moved to your thigh, and his mouth keeps brushing yours, and you feel his hunger running from his body into yours. But you manage to raise a hand and push his face backwards with a scoff, sticking your tongue and ignoring how to hunger flashes in his chest. 

“You know I would, don’t be a cunt.”

“Brat.”

“Uh huh,” you tap the phone, still in his hand, and don’t allow yourself to meet his eyes. If you meet Ben’s eyes you’ll start climbing on top of him, and you’ll lose. “Pay attention.”

Ben scoffs, but falls silent, waiting for you to continue. 

“No Twitter. Just these three.” You risk a glance up at him. He’s still distractingly handsome—the world didn’t like you enough to change that—but glowering at the phone, and you nudge his shoulder with yours. “Tell me their names.”

“Instagram,” he grunts, raising a finger to point at them one by one. “TikTok, and…” His eyes narrow, and he pauses for long enough that you’re not sure he’s going to figure out that the names are right there on the display. 

“Ben-“

“Facebook.” He looks up at you with a smirk. “Fucking nailed it.”

“Yeah, you’re a genius.” You mutter, but still smile at him. Something warm grows in your gut, and you have to stop meeting his eyes again. “Facebook is probably the least important one, but you would like it-“

“Why would I-“

“Because it’s for old people.” You grin at him, and Ben rolls his eyes. 

“Shut the fuck up.”

“No. I think we’ll do Instagram today, because TikTok will break your brain and I’m not ready to explain the Minions to you yet.”

“What the fuck is a minion-“

“Nope. Not today.” You lean over him, opening Instagram. “And remember, the less of a little bitch you are about this, the faster we finish and the sooner we can do something else.”

“We could just do something else right fucking now, no one’s damn making us do this-“

You give him a flat look. “I am, Benjamin. Eyes on the phone.”

He gives you one last glare, and turns back to the phone. “What the fuck am I looking at.”

“Instagram,” you sigh, hanging over Ben’s arm to frown at the screen. “Essentially, it’s a photo sharing app. People post about their lives, pets, memes-“

“What the fuck is a meme.”

“It’s like a funny photo or Internet joke. We’ll have to talk about it later as well. There’s a lot of business accounts, celebrity accounts, celebrity fan accounts-“

“What-“

“It’s an account that posts a bunch of photos and news and videos about one specific celebrity.” You tilt your head at the phone. “There are probably some for you, actually.”

“For me?” Ben blinks at you. “The fuck are they doing on them?”

“Posting photos of you.”

“How did they get fucking photos of me-“

“The internet, Ben.” You grin at him. “Believe it or not, there are photos of you on the internet.”

He pauses, frowning between you and the screen. “Are they good photos?”

Every photo of him is a good photo. Ben has a stupid, amazing face that looks like it was carved by Michelangelo, and every photo of him is a good photo. He doesn’t get to know that.

“They’re fine.”

“Just fucking fine?! The hell did all the good ones go-“

“Jesus, Benjamin, they’re good.” You give him a flat look. “Who’s shallow now?”

“You’d be worried about how you look if your face had to be fucking everywhere,” he snaps your name, but it’s fake anger. You can feel his amusement, and any annoyance is coated in a layer of complete comfort that makes you a little dizzy. “My job was my damn face. I’m not a vain pussy, I’m a business man-”

You snort. “You are not a fucking business man, Pretty Boy.”

“Fuck you, Sunshine, I made millions-“

“I’m sure you did,” you pat his arm, and Ben glares at you. “Are you going to keep being a huge baby, or can I keep talking?”

“Whatever.”

“That’s the spirit.” You take the phone from his hand, and start to swipe through the app, talking Ben through the what turned out to be the many nuances of Instagram. You’d—incorrectly—thought this would take twenty minutes, but Ben wouldn’t stop asking questions. You made the mistake of showing him a Soldier Boy fanpage, and that alone took ten minutes to explain and move on from. By the time you hit livestreams, Ben looked like he might start throwing something—what the fuck is the point of this shit, I don’t care about what these pussies have to say about fucking nothing—so you called it. He knew how the explore page worked, not to answer strange DMs, and if someone promised him hot MILFs in his area that it was probably a lie.

“I’m not an idiot,” he grumbles your name, closing the app. “And I don’t even know what a fucking MILF is-“

“Mother I’d Like to Fuck.” You grin at him. “But you might be more into GILFs.”

He frowns. “The fuck’s a GILF.”

“If MILF is an acronym, I think you can figure out GILF yourself.”

It takes a second of Ben glaring at you—the gears of his brain slowly turning to find the answer—and you can see the moment he gets it, because he rolls his eyes and a flash of indigence runs through him. “Brat.”

“I don’t know what you could possibly be referring to-“

Your words die in your throat as Ben tosses his phone somewhere across the room and hauls you onto his lap, burying his face in your neck and grumbling against your skin.

“You’re fucking stuck with me, beautiful, no damn GILF on the internet is taking me away.”

You hum. “What if they’re horny, and in your area?”

“Only old lady in my area is Mallory, and I’d rather cut off my goddamn dick than fuck her.”

“That’s not very nice, Benjamin-“ Your word turn into a long, breathless sound as he starts to leave open, wet kisses along your shoulder, and he’s so hungry, and it’s all fucking on purpose. YYour heart is racing as his hands tangle in your hair, and words start to feel a little far away, and you can feel how smug he is about it. “Cunt-“

“We’re done with the internet shit today.”

Not a question, but his muscles flex around you as he pulls you closer, so you don’t argue. “Yeah.”

“Good.” Ben flips you over in one, smooth movement, moving up to your mouth and smirking as you moan. “Next time, we’re doing this shit first. I don’t give a fuck about the internet,” he lets out a low groan as you tug at his hair. “But I can get the fuck on board if this is how we start.”

You answer a little too fast to be dignified, but he’s dropped back down to your neck, and you feel a little high. “Deal.”

“Deal.” Ben looks up at you, grinning as you start to try and tug him back to your mouth. “Let’s get started on it right fucking now.”

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[project2028]

The Dilemma Bulletin: Tuesday April 1st, 2025

Keeping you informed about the daily events of the Trump Administration

The Wisconsin Supreme Court election is today between Susan Crawford and Brad Schimel which could tell the very definite response to Donald Trump’s first two months in office. If you are in Wisconsin or know a Wisconsin voter, let them know to vote!

Two Florida house races are in contention today. Florida’s 1st Congressional district and Florida’s 6th Congressional district. If you know anyone in these Florida districts, please urge them to vote. If you are in these districts, please vote!

Elon Musk continues to use illegal tactics to sway the Wisconsin Supreme Court race by bribing votes with money. The Wisconsin Attorney General plans to take legal action against Elon Musk.

The Trump administration acknowledged in a court filing Monday that it had kidnapped a Maryland father with protected legal status (married to a US citizen and is the father to a 5 year old disabled child) and mistakenly deported him to El Salvador and their maximum security prison. Even though they acknowledge this mistake, they refuse to ask El Salvador for his return. Vice President JD Vance has doubled down on lies on social media about the deportations.

China, Japan and South Korea plan to announce an economic partnership in response to Trump’s tariffs.

The Trump administration has also mistakenly deported a Venezuelan barber that filed for asylum to an El Salvadoran prison after mistaking his tattoos for the tattoos of the “Tren El Aragua” gang. They also refuse to ask El Salvador for his return.

Donald Trump does not rule out running for a 3rd term when asked by the media. (Trump cannot run for a third term via the 22nd amendment in the Constitution strictly forbidding this)

Trump said in an NBC interview that he does not care if automakers raise their prices.

Trump invites Kid Rock to the White House. Kid Rock did not wear a suit to the Oval Office despite MAGA criticizing Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy for not wearing one upon his visit last month.

Elon Musk’s 4th baby mother and social media personality Ashley St. Claire sells her Tesla after Elon Musk refuses to pay child support. Elon claims that he doesn’t know if the child is his. Ashley says Elon has refused to take a paternity test on multiple occasions and has slandered her name on the internet.

[themisinformer]

Donald Trump’s First 100 Days in Office Summarized

As President Donald Trump celebrates his self proclaimed “100 Days of Greatness,” The Misinformer takes a deep dive into everything the Commander in Chief did during his first 100 days of his second term.

Day 1:

Sworn in as President.

Walks into the White House kitchen and proclaims, “Guess who’s back, bitches?!”

Signs a record breaking 26 executive orders during his first day back in office. Accidentally eliminates 26 states in the process

Day 2:

Immediately regrets assigning RFK Jr. as Health Secretary after he throws out all the junk food in the pantry.

Starts the process of deporting all vehicles with the exception of Teslas back to Japan and Germany.

Day 5:

Signs executive order to begin construction of a border wall in between the infamous America-Greenland border to keep out all the “eskimo crime.”

Knocks down Jenga set Eric and Don Jr. were playing with while shouting, “HULK SMASH!”

Day 9:

Corrects Justin Trudeau by saying “there weren’t any fruit” when Trudeau claimed that had a “fruitful conversation.”

Day 12:

Removes any mention of Barack Obama from the White House website, simply citing “DEI.”

Day 17:

The Department of Basic Human Empathy is cut as a part of the DOGE cuts.

Day 20:

First weekend trip to Mar-a-Lago. Puts more dedication into his golfing than anything he did during his first 20 days as President.

Day 26:

Trump figures enough time has passed for him to make that COVID joke he’s been meaning to tell.

Issues a public complaint about the White House cooking staff not being as good as they were during his first term.

Day 30:

Even Trump begins to wonder what the fuck Elon is doing here.

Day 36:

Hits JD Vance with the classic “Wet Willy” prank.

Day 42:

Accidentally cuts the presidency during DOGE cuts. Figures that means he doesn’t have to follow the constitution anymore.

Day 49:

States, “Why can’t we just hold hands and sing Kumbaya?” when Canada refuses to become 51st state.

Day 53:

Asks Zelenskyy why he can’t just be the better person and let Putin annihilate all of Ukraine.

Day 61:

Declares the “greatest first 100 days in history,” despite it being only his 61st day in office.

Day 69:

Trump tries to include the number “69” in every conversation he has.

Day 72:

Signs bill allowing internet providers to sell your browsing data. Immediately regrets it when he starts seeing ads for KEEPS Hair Loss Formula.

Day 76:

Implements new policy requiring all operators a part of the National Sexual Assault Hotline to hang up the phone whenever someone mentions Donald Trump.

Day 98:

Ruins the viral “100 men vs 1 gorilla” question for everyone by claiming that he could take down 100 gorillas all by himself.

Day 99:

Accuses Canada of not of not caring about their freedom very much by democratically electing a Liberal candidate.

Day 100:

Celebrates 100 days in office by declaring himself president for life. “There’s many more 100 days to come,” he was quoted as saying.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The impoverished imagination of neoliberal climate “solutions

This morning (Oct 31) at 10hPT, the Internet Archive is livestreaming my presentation on my recent book, The Internet Con.

There is only one planet in the known universe capable of sustaining human life, and it is rapidly becoming uninhabitable by humans. Clearly, this warrants bold action – but which bold action should we take?

After half a century of denial and disinformation, the business lobby has seemingly found climate religion and has joined the choir, but they have their own unique hymn: this crisis is so dire, they say, that we don't have the luxury of choosing between different ways of addressing the emergency. We have to do "all of the above" – every possible solution must be tried.

In his new book Dark PR, Grant Ennis explains that this "all of the above" strategy doesn't represent a change of heart by big business. Rather, it's part of the denial playbook that's been used to sell tobacco-cancer doubt and climate disinformation:

https://darajapress.com/publication/dark-pr-how-corporate-disinformation-harms-our-health-and-the-environment

The point of "all of the above" isn't muscular, immediate action – rather, it's a delaying tactic that creates space for "solutions" that won't work, but will generate profits. Think of how the tobacco industry used "all of the above" to sell "light" cigarettes, snuff, snus, and vaping – and delay tobacco bans, sin taxes, and business-euthanizing litigation. Today, the same playbook is used to sell EVs as an answer to the destructive legacy of the personal automobile – to the exclusion of mass transit, bikes, and 15-minute cities:

https://thewaroncars.org/2023/10/24/113-dark-pr-with-grant-ennis/

As the tobacco and car examples show, "all of the above" is never really all of the above. Pursuing "light" cigarettes to reduce cancer is incompatible with simply banning tobacco; giving everyone a personal EV is incompatible with remaking our cities for transit, cycling and walking.

When it comes to the climate emergency, "all of the above" means trying "market-based" solutions to the exclusion of directly regulating emissions, despite the poor performance of these "solutions."

The big one here is carbon offsets, which allows companies to make money by promising not to emit carbon that they would otherwise emit. The idea here is that creating a new asset class will unleash the incredible creativity of markets by harnessing the greed of elite sociopaths to the project of decarbonization, rather of the prudence of democratically accountable lawmakers.

Carbon offsets have not worked: they have been plagued by absolutely foreseeable problems that have not lessened, despite repeated attempts to mitigate them.

For starters, carbon offsets are a classic market for lemons. The cheapest way to make a carbon offset is to promise not to emit carbon you were never going to emit anyway, as when fake charities like the Nature Conservancy make millions by promising not to log forests that can't be logged because they are wildlife preserves:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/03/18/greshams-carbon-law/#papal-indulgences

Then there's the problem of monitoring carbon offsetting activity. Like, what happens when the forest you promise not to log burns down? If you're a carbon trader, the answer is "nothing." That burned-down forest can still be sold as if it were sequestering carbon, rather than venting it to the atmosphere in an out-of-control blaze:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/07/26/aggregate-demand/#murder-offsets

When you bought a plane ticket and ticked the "offset the carbon on my flight" box and paid an extra $10, I bet you thought that you were contributing to a market that incentivized a reduction in discretionary, socially useless carbon-intensive activity. But without those carbon offsets, SUVs would have all but disappeared from American roads. Carbon offsets for Tesla cars generated billions in carbon offsets for Elon Musk, and allowed SUVs to escape regulations that would otherwise have seen them pulled from the market:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/11/24/no-puedo-pagar-no-pagara/#Rat

What's more, Tesla figured out how to get double the offsets they were entitled to by pretending that they had a working battery-swap technology. This directly translated to even more SUVs on the road:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_of_Tesla,_Inc.#Misuse_of_government_subsidies

Harnessing the profit motive to the planet's survivability might sound like a good idea, but it assumes that corporations can self-regulate their way to a better climate future. They cannot. Think of how Canada's logging industry was allowed to clearcut old-growth forests and replace them with "pines in lines" – evenly spaced, highly flammable, commercially useful tree-farms that now turn into raging forest fires every year:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/16/murder-offsets/#pulped-and-papered

The idea of "market-based" climate solutions is that certain harmful conduct should be disincentivized through taxes, rather than banned. This makes carbon offsets into a kind of modern Papal indulgence, which let you continue to sin, for a price. As the outstanding short video Murder Offsets so ably demonstrates, this is an inadequate, unserious and immoral response to the urgency of the issue:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/14/for-sale-green-indulgences/#killer-analogy

Offsets and other market-based climate measures aren't "all of the above" – they exclude other measures that have better track-records and lower costs, because those measures cut against the interests of the business lobby. Writing for the Law and Political Economy Project, Yale Law's Douglas Kysar gives some pointed examples:

https://lpeproject.org/blog/climate-change-and-the-neoliberal-imagination/

For example: carbon offsets rely on a notion called "contrafactual carbon," this being the imaginary carbon that might be omitted by a company if it wasn't participating in offsets. The number of credits a company gets is determined by the difference between its contrafactual emissions and its actual emissions.

But the "contrafactual" here comes from a business-as-usual world, one where the only limit on carbon emissions comes from corporate executives' voluntary actions – and not from regulation, direct action, or other limits on corporate conduct.

Kysar asks us to imagine a contrafactual that depends on "carbon upsets," rather than offsets – one where the limits on carbon come from "lawsuits, referenda, protests, boycotts, civil disobedience":

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/cif-green/2010/aug/29/carbon-upsets-offsets-cap-and-trade

If we're really committed to "all of the above" as baseline for calculating offsets, why not imagine a carbon world grounded in foreseeable, evidence-based reality, like the situation in Louisiana, where a planned petrochemical plant was canceled after a lawsuit over its 13.6m tons of annual carbon emissions?

https://earthjustice.org/press/2022/louisiana-court-vacates-air-permits-for-formosas-massive-petrochemical-complex-in-cancer-alley

Rather than a tradeable market in carbon offsets, we could harness the market to reward upsets. If your group wins a lawsuit that prevents 13.6m tons of carbon emissions every year, it will get 13.6 million credits for every year that plant would have run. That would certainly drive the commercial imaginations of many otherwise disinterested parties to find carbon-reduction measures. If we're going to revive dubious medieval practices like indulgences, why not champerty, too?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Champerty_and_maintenance

That is, if every path to a survivable planet must run through Goldman-Sachs, why not turn their devious minds to figuring out ways to make billions in tradeable credits by suing the pants off oil companies?

There are any number of measures that rise to the flimsy standards of evidence in support of offsets. Like, we're giving away $85/ton in free public money for carbon capture technologies, despite the lack of any credible path to these making a serious dent in the climate situation:

https://www.spglobal.com/commodityinsights/en/market-insights/latest-news/energy-transition/072523-ira-turbocharged-carbon-capture-tax-credit-but-challenges-persist-experts

If we're willing to fund untested longshots like carbon capture, why not measures that have far better track-records? For example, there's a pretty solid correlation between the presence of women in legislatures and on corporate boards and overall reductions in carbon. I'm the last person to suggest that the problems of capitalism can be replaced by replacing half of the old white men who run the world with women, PoCs and queers – but if we're willing to hand billions to ferkakte scheme like carbon capture, why not subsidize companies that pack their boards with women, or provide campaign subsidies to women running for office? It's quite a longshot (putting Liz Truss or Marjorie Taylor-Greene on your board or in your legislature is no way to save the planet), but it's got a better evidentiary basis than carbon capture.

There's also good evidence that correlates inequality with carbon emissions, though the causal relationship is unclear. Maybe inequality lets the wealthy control policy outcomes and tilt them towards permitting high-emission/high-profit activities. Maybe inequality reduces the social cohesion needed to make decarbonization work. Maybe inequality makes it harder for green tech to find customers. Maybe inequality leads to rich people chasing status-enhancing goods (think: private jet rides) that are extremely carbon-intensive.

Whatever the reason, there's a pretty good case that radical wealth redistribution would speed up decarbonization – any "all of the above" strategy should certainly consider this one.

Kysar's written a paper on this, entitled "Ways Not to Think About Climate Change":

https://political-theory.org/resources/Documents/Kysar.Ways%20Not%20to%20Think%20About%20Climate%20Change.pdf

It's been accepted for the upcoming American Society for Political and Legal Philosophy conference on climate change:

https://political-theory.org/13257256

It's quite a bracing read! The next time someone tells you we should hand Elon Musk billions to in exchange for making it possible to legally manufacture vast fleets of SUVs because we need to try "all of the above," send them a copy of this paper.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/31/carbon-upsets/#big-tradeoff

[imaginesbymk]

MARSTON. ━︎━︎ ZSAKUVA STRICT PROFESSOR !

chapter eight - ❝office hours.❞

← previous chapter: chapter seven - "the forbidden-ness of a fruit." next chapter: chapter nine - "professor green-eyed monster." →

fanfic info / read it on wattpad

SYNOPSIS — In order to get a proper grade for their mended assignment, Y/N has to visit Professor Marston at his office for a more "private" setting.

──────── ✧ ────────

A N D R E W

MY LAST CLASS for the week was over, and I grew irritated for a moment in that lecture. I refused to let it defeat me, but it stuck with me for some reason until I realized the phenomena of modern technology. Is it ever so standardized that students started to grow less invested in their studies each year? It's got to be some kind of shift in society, or it's just the stress university had tolled upon these students?

I trailed off in my sentence about Francesco Petrarca when I saw a couple of students doing the one thing that annoyed most educators.

"The only screen that you all should be looking at right now is the projector behind me. Unless it's for educational purposes, phones off and out of sight," I said. "Now."

The students quickly stashed them away.

Though they are useful in modern society, I don't like to give in to such gadgets. But they're everywhere. I have a phone, and I use it when it's necessary. But today I learned that Chris got a smart watch, and I watched him reply to anyone by speaking into his wrist like he was an secret agent spy. I am in a complete void but also in fascination over how this world became so technological over the years. It's easy to learn about the Bubonic Plague. All you have to do is Google it, but in a time and place where there wasn't a professor and a projector in front of you to learn about it otherwise.

The realization took me when I became a professor at twenty-one. That was when wireless earbuds became a big thing. If he's out there working under a big company that does shady business on the side, I can picture my brother in a Tesla, and I highly doubt the maths professor would invest in one, whereas I would be sitting here with the faint taps of my laptop. If I was handed something more advanced than a smart watch, I doubt I would accept it. This generation wouldn't.

If a student pulled out their phone to record one of my lectures on voice memo, they'd also catch audio of something I'd say off topic, or I'd slip out something problematic or embarrassing. They could pull out their phones and film me without my consent if they wanted to. Hell, they could post it online somewhere for others to see. Comments would be hybrid: my appearance, my teaching, whatever I could be doing in that video is set out there on the Internet - and it stays there. 

It's not the modern technology, but the consequences of how we use them. And I'm directly and indirectly contributing to it. That's exactly what I'm worried about. Being caught and capturing it all on a little black screen. 

What could I possibly do that'll be caught on camera or audio? My views on a controversial topic perhaps? Or maybe me watching Y/N while they worked at their seat. I can't just dismiss the incidents - or events - like it was nothing. I say that with plurality. I kissed Y/N a week ago, they snuck into my office the week before. Whatever was going on through my head was just out of impulse, and something had ticked for me to breach the ethics of a professor and a student relationship. 

I do recall what I had told them just minutes before I let them go. "If you think something will come from this, you're mistaken. This was purely... an overflow of desire. Nothing more." I gave them a week to re-edit their assignment, to remove what they wrote that changed my perspective on them even more, or at least enhanced it.

I checked the time.

"Damn." The department was expecting a email from me by the latest. I quickly clicked the 'compose' tab, adding all the recipients until something popped up on the side of the menu. It was happening again. The email. I reported it as junk last week, but I never thought that they would keep contacting me. Whoever wrote it from my brother's email, it wasn't written like a spam, or bot-like. 

Andrew

Don't ignore me. Don't throw out this one shot.

I began to type:

Whoever you are-

I hit the backspace button until the words were taken back and disappeared. I couldn't. I would either be feeding into whatever this person wanted and falling into their trap once I hit them with a response, or I would actually be answering to my brother. I wouldn't know how he would be behaving after all these years. Unless he decided to form a reunion, one of us would get hurt or blackmailed. I know very well it wouldn't be him. 

Five knocks on the door, and I cleared my throat and continued typing out the email for the literature department.

"Come in."

──────── ✧ ────────

Y / N

PROFESSOR MARSTON looks at me through his odd but stylish choice of chained glasses. He had good posture all the while he must be sitting at his desk for hours in between his lectures or after office hours. Whenever I had my independent tutorials with him or came to him for office hours, he'd be sitting right there, and he'd get up from his desk a couple times to stretch or walk around. But when I allowed myself in, he was already sitting at his desk, typing away.

I see his eyes avert a bit at the clock. "Hm. Right on time. If I'd known any better, I'd say you were a bit too eager. Were you waiting outside the door?"

For an eager person, yes. "Maybe."

He chuckled under his breath. "I assume you've brought your amended assignment?" I nodded. He held out his hand. "Give it here." I quickly walked over and handed it over to him. "I'll read it now while you're here."

I stopped. "Now?"

"What? You have more pressing matters to tend to?" 

Kind of? I wanted to tell him. Brittany and I go out for dinner almost every Friday. 

"I want to make sure that what you've written is appropriate for your grade. I don't want to have the same conversation I've had with you before, although it was the most... memorable, that's for sure." He gestures. "Take a seat."

I sat down, almost rapidly drumming my nails against the arm of the chair.

"Stop fidgeting," Professor Marston said looking up from my paper. I quickly stopped. "Pace around if you really need to I can't stand the tapping."

I might as well to ease the tension. I got up from my seat and began to walk around. I knew Professor Marston's eyes were down at my paper, but I felt them follow me as I started looking at his bookshelves and walls. The last time I was in here, I gave him a gift and saw that sketchy-looking email pop up on his laptop screen. I wonder if he ever got through to it.

"You won something?" I pointed at the award mounted on the wall.

"Hm? The award?"

I nodded.

He replied, still flipping through my paper while grading. "I won the Wolfson History prize a couple of years ago. Soon after graduating university, I published a book on Alastair Crowley. He was quite a... prolific man."

"For best historical writing?" I read.

"History in general has always been a passion of mine," he explains. "Before computers, books gave us knowledge, and when a book is destroyed its knowledge disappears along with it and so does its history. There were times when entire libraries were set on fire to hide the truth - truth that can't be recovered with an undo or refresh. There's something oddly finite about that type of literature." 

"I mean, nothing wrong with what we have now," I suggested. 

"Of course computers and Internet makes things a lot more easier to store and share, it's one of the reasons why I ask all students to submit their assignments on paper. I think it's an art that will die soon enough along with books."

I walked back to my seat as soon as he lined my papers together, taking out a red pen from his holder and circling the giant 93% written on the last page where the rubric sided. "Okay, you amended what I told you to. Good. I expect that something like that doesn't happen again. If the department head caught wind of what you wrote, I would be the one investigated, you do realize that? It does you no favours."

I sheepishly smiled. "Yeah, you're right. My bad."

"Well your mission was to get my attention. I suppose you succeeded more than you thought you would considering the look you had on your face when you left my class a week ago. I assume that still runs through your mind doesn't it? I haven't been able to forget it." He sets my paper at the front of the desk and got up, approaching me slowly. "When I became a professor, I did it to educate, to give back what my teachers gave to me. I never entertained the thought of being caught up in such a mess with you."

I raised my brows. "Me?"

He hummed. "Only you. I've heard rumours and conversations of other students who find me... attractive. Little remarks here and there whispered behind corners. It happens and it's my duty to ignore their stares." I remembered the first time seeing Professor Marston. He was walking down the west hallway on the second floor, and he was right when he said everyone stares at him. He paid no mind to them. I don't blame them, he really was an attractive young guy. There was no way this guy was faculty, I thought. 

I was still figuring out where my classes were. As soon as I found the lecture hall I walked in, and there he was, still settling down at the front, but where the professors were supposed to be. He looked up at me and gave me a studied look. We were both five minutes early. 

"In a few years time they'll probably look back and think of it as nothing but an embarrassing crush they'll tell during a game of truth or dare. It can't be helped but I can't add more fuel to the fire. I can't give them hope. You on the other hand have proved a challenge. I admit that when I read your statement for the first time, I hardly believed it. But there it was, plain as day. I thought it was a prank at first until we had our... talk. Did you keep it to yourself?"

I nodded. I've lied to so many professors, strictly based on assignments when it's often half-assed. I could lie to Professor Marston, but of course, there wasn't any point in doing that. I didn't mention that afternoon talk to Brittany. She was always ahead of herself and tells the first person she sees. 

"Good, you know how quickly rumours spread, and I doubt you want to get caught in the middle of them. You started all of this, after all. Do you not regret it?"

I pressed myself against his chest and lifted my height just a bit to reach his lips. He obliged.

Unless this man has kissed other students that I do not about, (and if I ever knew about it, I'm spilling his tea on his laptop) I have him for now. And no, I do not regret a single fucking thing.

Professor Marston chuckles a bit. "I guess not. I'll be honest: I don't, either."

I was glad we were both on the same page. 

Professor Marston walked over to lock the door. "My teaching hours are finished now. Why do you think I asked you to come at this time? Your class finished over an hour ago, the students who needed to come here have. So now, it's just you and I. I'll reply to any emails at a later point. For now, only you have my attention. I remember what I said before and believe me, I understand what you're feeling because I share it too."

"Tell me, then."

"You don't want to know what I feel."

"After all I've done? I feel like I deserve to know at this point."

"Are you sure?" 

I nodded. 

"Fine. When I saw you for the first time I knew there was something different there. I just couldn't quite work it out, so truthfully I had an interest in you from the very beginning." 

That gave me a boost of hope. I always had a feeling Professor Marston did think about me from time to time, but there were others who wanted the same thing as me. I give myself credit for overdoing the attention giving than the rest of the students here. Plus I gave him his favourite chocolates. I guess I do win.

"I always thought you were a gifted student. You made it past the first year unscathed. You've had so much potential."

He wasn't wrong, but something wasn't quite right about that statement. I did make it past the first year, and first year always starts off with either calm waters or an absolute shit-storm. My best way to describe is my brain being like a TV constantly fixated on multiple channels, as much as I try to lower the volume, close all of them or even just try to fixate on one program, I can't find the remote. It's either in a tornado, and another day it doesn't acknowledge or process what I want to process and then I'm overwhelmed. I'm lucky I was fuelled enough to not fail a class.

It's that, plus my idealized and internalized anger towards this world. Professor Marston just so happens to distract me from that, even though that was not his job.

"I guess," I shrugged.

"You were always one of the first to come into class and one of the last to leave. Soon enough I found my gaze following, studying, how you dressed on certain days depending on weather or colour or accessories. You know when to stand out and when to hide. It wasn't until after I kept you behind last week that I realized what it really was. Perhaps it wasn't purely desire but infatuation. You have a light that your peers don't. You carry it in your eyes. They're rather beautiful, actually. So clear, focused. They could have been looking at any other person. I should have known but I ignored it. I assumed the essay was a last ditch effort to get my attention... and it worked." Other than the gift, it really was. He leans in and kisses me, almost like the first time we did that it felt so powerful. 

"There's no classes I have to teach today. So, it all depends on how much time you're willing to give me-"

"All of it," I shrug. 

Professor laughed. I twitched a bit when he brushes his hand over mine. "All of it is a little, uh, excessive though I admire your candor. So the marks I promised I'd give - have you prepared yourself for them?" He sat back down at his desk.

I look at him puzzled. "O-oh?"

"What sort of marks did you think I meant?" 

I gave him a look. He did say he "won't hold back the marks he'd give" me. I thought about a completely different thing...

"Ah such an interesting mind you have. I'm glad you picked up on it, though you should know that there's not much I can do to sate your imagination. Come, what is it you want? Speak plainly." 

"I want you to kiss me again." I walk over to him where he sat.

"Hmm... well that is plain, isn't it? You hardly manage to take the last ones, you think you'll be able to now?" He really was trying to tease me. I nodded slowly. "You really have been waiting patiently, haven't you? Your eyes are glazed over already. Then lean down." 

If I were to be more naive, I wouldn't have done so. But I'm not. Slowly, I felt him pulling me closer to him. 

"I can already feel you trembling a little. Are you trying to hold yourself back? Well some of the others on this floor don't go home until at least eight and right now it's," he glances at his watch. "Just gone six. And two hours is a long time to wait. I don't think you want me as a partner. Even though this is a university and legally there's no laws against it, it's unethical. It's not that I don't want things to continue, all I want to do right now is kiss you more. But there are boundaries to consider."

I never imagined I'd be caught up in such a scandal with this guy. But not that anyone needed to know... 

"I know," I tell him.

"We give in to whatever this is and then what?" He says to me. "Keep meeting in secret in my office? Where is that going to end up? Thinking of what the future will be is redundant. Enjoy the present and what fruit it bears, and right now, you are what has been given... and I shall gladly take it."

He gladly took it. But does he want me? What do I want? To have this man all to myself to selfishly boast that other students couldn't have him? It wasn't like he was put here up for grabs. He's here to teach and grade, I'm here to learn and move on when I graduate. 

"Lean into me if you can't stand."

I did so, and he pulls me closer to him, but never held me when we kissed again. I should tell Brittany some day some how. She's never kept anything from me, ever. I can't do that. She would find out. I've walked in on her making out with someone before, and it was a student possibly in their final year. It turned out they didn't graduate on time. And it turned out it was someone I knew.

"As much as I want to hear your voice," he whispers against my lips. "You have to hold it in." 

We kept kissing. Even though nothing was wrong, my ears felt like they were ringing. My brain was starting to fog up, and I couldn't imagine this office as an office anymore. It felt like a placeholder for something sinister out that door. I pull away. I hear Professor Marston say something to me, but it was muffled and I clearly couldn't process it. I didn't know what it was that just happened, but if I continued, I'd black out.

I got up as he straightens his posture. "I'll send over your assignment grade over the weekend, and I'm warning you now: if you pull another stunt with your next assignment, I'm failing you without question. But if you do need to discuss some theories, then you know where to find me. After hours... and when you are ready. Understood?" 

I nodded. "Got it."

"Good."

I grabbed my bag from the chair and turned to the door. 

"Your extra credit will be considered," I hear him say from his desk. "Get home safe."

I exhaled long enough that my chest didn't feel as heavy but lifeless, something I realized I haven't done much of it to ease my breathing after being with that man for a bit, and kissing him for what seemed like a rush of dopamine to sudden dissociation. 

I closed the door and rushed home for dinner, thinking about Brittany.

──────── ✧ ────────

[mariacallous]

On a sunny April afternoon in Seattle, around 40 activists gathered at the Pine Box, a beer and pizza bar in the sometimes scruffy Capitol Hill neighborhood. The group had reserved a side room attached to the outside patio; before remarks began, attendees flowed in and out, enjoying the warm day. Someone set up a sound system. Then the activists settled in, straining their ears as the streamed call crackled through less-than-perfect speakers.

In more than a decade of climate organizing, it was the first time Emily Johnston, one of the group’s leaders, had attended a happy hour to listen to a company’s quarterly earnings call. Also the first time a local TV station showed up to cover such a happy hour. “This whole campaign has been just a magnet for attention,” she says.

The group, officially called the Troublemakers, was rewarded right away. Tesla CEO Elon Musk started the investors’ call for the first quarter of 2025 with a sideways acknowledgement of exactly the work the group had been doing for the past two months. He called out the nationwide backlash to the so-called Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE, an effort to cut government spending staffed by young tech enthusiasts and Musk company alumni, named—with typical Muskian internet-brained flourish—for an early 2010s meme.

“Now, the protests you’ll see out there, they’re very organized, they’re paid for,” Musk told listeners. For weeks, thousands of people—including the Troublemakers—had camped outside Tesla showrooms, service centers, and charging stations. Musk suggested that not only were they paid for their time, they were only interested in his work because they had once received “wasteful largesse” from the federal government. Musk had presented the theory and sharpened it on his social media platform X for weeks. Now, he argued, the protesters were off the dole—and furious.

Musk offered no proof of his assertions; to a person, every protester who spoke to WIRED insisted that they are not being paid and are exactly what they appear to be: people who are angry at Elon Musk. They call their movement the “Tesla Takedown.”

Before Musk got on the call to speak to investors, Tesla, which arguably kicked off a now multitrillion-dollar effort to transition global autos to electricity, had presented them with one of the company’s worst quarterly financial reports in years. Net income was down 71 percent year over year; revenue fell more than $2 billion short of Wall Street’s expectations.

Now, in Seattle, just the first few minutes of Musk’s remarks left the partygoers, many veterans of the climate movement, giddy. Someone close to the staticky speakers repeated the best parts to the small crowd: “I think starting probably next month, May, my time allocation to DOGE will drop significantly,” Musk said. Under a spinning disco ball, people whooped and clapped. Someone held up a snapshot of Tesla’s stock performance over the past year, a jagged but falling black line.

“If you ever wanted to know that protest matters, here’s your proof,” Johnston recalled weeks later.

The Tesla Takedown, an effort to hit back at Musk and his wealth where it hurts, seems to have appeared at just the right time. Tesla skeptics have argued for years that the company, which has the highest market capitalization of any automaker, is overvalued. They contend that the company’s CEO has been able to distract from flawed fundamentals—an aging vehicle lineup, a Cybertruck sales flop, the much-delayed introduction of self-driving technology—with bluster and showmanship.

Musk’s interest in politics, which kicked into a new and more expensive gear when he went all in for Donald Trump during the 2024 election, was always going to invite more scrutiny for his business empire. But the grassroots movement, which began as a post on Bluesky, has become a boisterous, ragtag, and visible locus of, sorry to use the word, resistance against Musk and Trump. It’s hard to pin market moves on any one thing, but Tesla’s stock price is down some 33 percent since its end-of-2024 high.

Tesla Takedown points to a uniquely screwed-up moment in American politics. Down is up; up is down. A man who made a fortune sounding the alarm about the evils of the fossil fuel industry joined with it to spend hundreds of millions in support of a right-wing presidential candidate and became embedded in an administration with a slash-and-burn approach to environmental regulation. (This isn’t good for electric cars.) The same guy, once extolled as the real-life Tony Stark—he made a cameo in Iron Man 2!—has become for some a real-life comic book villain, his skulduggery enough to bring together a coalition of climate activists, freaked-out and laid-off federal workers, immigrant rights champions, union groups, PhDs deeply concerned about the future of American science, Ukraine partisans, liberal retirees sick of watching cable news, progressive parents hoping to show their kids how to stick up for their values, LGBTQ+ rights advocates, despondent veterans, and car and tech nerds who have been crying foul on Musk’s fantastical technology claims for years now.

To meet the moment, then, the Takedown uses a unique form of protest logic: Boycott and protest the electric car company not because the movement disagrees with its logic or mission—quite the opposite, even!—but because it might be the only way to materially affect the unelected, un-beholden-to-the-public guy at its head. And then hope the oft-irrational stock market catches on.

So for weeks, across cities like New York; Berkeley and Palo Alto, California; Meridian, Idaho; Ann Arbor, Michigan; Raleigh, North Carolina; South Salt Lake, Utah; and Austin, Texas, the thousands of people who make up the Takedown movement have been been stationed outside of Tesla showrooms, making it a little bit uncomfortable to test drive one of Musk’s electric rides, or even just drive past in one.

When Shua Sanchez graduated from college in 2013, there was about a week, he remembers, when he was convinced that the most important thing he could do was work for Tesla. He had a degree in physics; he knew all about climate change and what was at stake. He felt called to causes, had been protesting since George W. Bush invaded Iraq when he was in middle school. Maybe his life’s work would be helping the world’s premier electric carmaker convince drivers that there was a cleaner and more beautiful life after fossil fuel.

In the end, though, Sanchez opted for a doctorate program focusing on the quantum properties of super-conducting and magnetic materials. (“I shoot frozen magnets with lasers all day,” he jokes.) So he felt thankful for his choice a few years later when he read media reports about Tesla’s efforts to tamp down unionizing efforts at its factories. He felt more thankful when, in 2017, Musk signed on to two of Trump’s presidential advisory councils. (The CEO publicly departed them months later, after the administration pulled out of the Paris climate agreement.) Even more thankful in 2022, when Musk acquired Twitter with the near-express purpose of opening it up to extreme right-wing speech. More thankful still by the summer of 2024, after Musk officially endorsed Trump’s presidential bid.

By the time Musk appeared onstage at a rally following Trump’s inauguration in January 2025 and threw out what appeared to be a Nazi salute—Musk has denied that was what it was—Sanchez, now in a postdoctorate fellowship at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, was ready to do something about it besides not taking a job at Tesla. A few days later, as reports of DOGE’s work began to leak out of Washington, a friend sent him a February 8 Bluesky post from a Boston-based disinformation scholar named Joan Donovan.

“If Musk thinks he can speed run through DC downloading personal data, we can certainly bang some pots and pans on the sidewalks in front of Tesla dealerships,” Donovan posted on the platform, already an online refuge for those looking for an alternative to Musk’s X. “Bring your friends and make a little noise. Organize locally, act globally.” She added a link to a list of Tesla locations, and a GIF of the Swedish Chef playing the drums on some vegetables with wooden spoons. Crucially, she appended the hashtag #TeslaTakeover. Later, the internet would coalesce around a different rallying cry: #TeslaTakedown.

The post did not go viral. To date, it has only 175 likes. But it did catch the attention of actor and filmmaker Alex Winter. Winter shot to prominence in 1989’s Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure—he was Bill—and has more recently produced multiple documentaries focusing on online culture, piracy, and the power of social media. He and Donovan had bonded a few years earlier over activism and punk rock, and the actor, who has a larger social media following, asked the scholar if he could create a website to centralize the burgeoning movement. “I do think we’re at a point where people need to stick their necks up out of the foxhole en masse, or we’re simply not going to get through,” he tells WIRED. In the website’s first 12 hours of existence, he says, thousands of people registered to take part in the Takedown.

Donovan’s Bluesky post brought Sanchez to the Boston Back Bay Tesla showroom on Boylston Street the next Saturday, where 30 people had gathered with signs. For Sanchez, the whole thing felt personal. “Elon Musk started a PhD at Stanford in my field. He quit after two days and then went and became a tech bro, but he presents that he’s one of us,” he says. With Musk’s new visibility—and plans to slash government research dollars while promoting right-wing ideology—Sanchez was ready to push back.

Sanchez has been outside the showroom during weekly protests throughout the Boston winter, megaphone in hand, leading chants: “It ain’t fun. It ain’t funny. Elon Musk is stealing your money.” “We don’t want your Nazi cars. Take a one-way trip to Mars.”

“We make it fun, so a lot of people come back,” Sanchez says. Someone slapped Musk’s face on one of the inflatable tube guys you often see outside of car dealerships; he whipped around at several protests. A popular bubble-themed routine—“Tesla is a bubble”—saw protesters toss around a giant, transparent ball as others blew bubbles around it. Then the ball popped, loudly, during a protest—a sign? At some of Boston’s biggest actions, hundreds of people have shown up to demonstrate against Tesla, Musk, and Trump, Sanchez says.

Donovan envisioned the protests as potent, visible responses to Musk’s slashing of government programs and jobs. But she also knew that social movements are a critical release valve in times of upheaval. “People need to relieve the pressure that they feel when the government is not doing the right thing,” she tells WIRED. “If you let that pressure build up too much, obviously it can turn very dangerous.”

In some ways, she’s right. In at least four incidents across four states, people have been charged by the federal government with various crimes including defacing, shooting at, throwing Molotov cocktails toward, and setting fire to Tesla showrooms and charging stations. In a move that has worried civil liberties experts, the Trump administration has treated these attacks against the president’s richest backer’s car company as “domestic terrorism,” granting federal authorities greater latitude and resources to track down alleged perpetrators and threatening them with up to 20 years in prison.

In posts on X and in public appearances, Musk and other federal officials have seemed to conflate the actions of a few allegedly violent people with the wider protests against Tesla, implying that both are funded by shadowy “generals.” “Firing bullets into showrooms and burning down cars is unacceptable,” Musk said at an event last month in which he appeared remotely on video, his face looming over the stage. “Those people will go to prison, and the people that funded them and organized them will also go to prison. Don’t worry.” He looked into the camera and pointed his finger at the audience. “We’re coming for you.”

Tesla Takedown participants and leaders have repeatedly said that the movement is nonviolent. “Authoritarian regimes have a long history of equating peaceful protest with violence. The #TeslaTakedown movement has always been and will remain nonviolent,” Dallas volunteer Stephanie Frizzell wrote in an email. What violence has occurred at protests themselves seems limited to on-site spats that mostly target protesters.

Donovan herself skipped some protests after receiving death threats and hearing a rumor that she was on a government list targeting disinformation researchers. On X, prominent right-wing accounts harassed her and other Takedown leaders; she says people have contacted her colleagues to try to get her fired.

Then, on the afternoon of March 6, Boston University ecology professor Nathan Phillips was in his office on campus when he received a panicked message from his wife. She said that two people claiming to represent the FBI visited their home. “I was just stunned,” Phillips says. “We both had a feeling of disbelief, that this must be some kind of hoax or a joke or something like that.”

Phillips had attended a Tesla Takedown event weeks earlier, but he wasn’t sure whether the visit was related to the protests or his previous climate activism. So after sitting shocked in his office for an hour, he called his local FBI field office. Someone picked up and asked for his information, he remembers, and then asked why he was calling. Phillips explained what had happened. “They just abruptly hung up on me,” he says.

Phillips never had additional contact from the FBI, but he knows of at least five other climate activists who were visited by men claiming to be from the agency on March 6.

The FBI tells WIRED that it “cannot confirm or deny the allegations” that two agents visited Phillips’ home. Tesla did not respond to WIRED’s questions about the Tesla Takedown movement or Musk’s allegations of coordinated violence against the company.

After the incident, Phillips began searching online for mentions of his name, and he found posts on X from an account that also tagged Joan Donovan and FBI director Kash Patel.

Phillips says that the FBI visit has had the opposite of a chilling effect. “If anything, it’s further radicalized me,” he says. “People having my back and the expression of support makes me feel very confident that it was the right thing to do to speak out about this.”

Mike had attended a few protests in the past but didn’t know how to organize one. He has a wife, three small kids, a house in the suburbs, and a health issue that can sometimes make it hard to think. So by his own admission, his first attempt in February was a mixed bag. It was the San Francisco Bay Area–based Department of Labor employee’s first day back in the office after the Trump administration, spurred by DOGE, had demanded all workers return full-time. He was horrified by the fast-moving job cuts, program changes, and straight-up animus he had already seen flow from the White House down to his small corner of the federal government.

“Attacks on federal workers are an attack on the Constitution,” Mike says. Maybe, he figured, if he could keep people from buying Teslas, that would hurt Elon Musk’s bottom line, and the CEO would lay off DOGE altogether.

Mike, who WIRED is referring to using a pseudonym because he fears retaliation, saw that a Tesla showroom was just a 20-minute walk from his office, and he hoped to convince some coworkers to convene there, a symbolic stand against DOGE and Musk. So he taped a few flyers on light poles. He didn’t have social media, but he posted on Reddit. “I was really worried,” he says, “about the Hatch Act,” a law that limits the political activities of federal employees.

In the end, three federal workers—the person sitting next to him at the office and a US Department of Veterans Affairs nurse they ran into on the street—posted up outside of the Tesla showroom on Van Ness Avenue in downtown San Francisco holding “Save Federal Workers” signs.

Then Mike discovered the #TeslaTakedown website that Alex Winter had built. (Because of a quirk in the sign-up process, the site is now putatively operated by the Seattle Troublemakers.) It turned out a bunch of other people had thought that Tesla showrooms were the right places to air their grievances with Trump, Musk, and DOGE. Mike posted his event there. Now the SF Save Federal Workers protest, which happens every Monday afternoon, draws 20 to 40 people.

Through the weekly convening, Mike has met volunteers from the Federal Unionists Network, who represent public unions; the San Francisco Labor Council, a local affiliate of the national AFL-CIO; and the East Bay chapter of the Democratic Socialists of America. As in any amicable custody arrangement, Mike’s group shares the strip of sidewalk outside of the San Francisco Tesla showroom with a local chapter of the progressive group Indivisible, which holds bigger protests on Saturdays. “I’m trying to build connections, meet other community groups,” Mike says. “My next step is broadening the coalition.”

About half of the people coordinating Takedown protests are like Mike, says Evan Sutton, who is part of the national team: They haven’t organized a protest before. “I’ve been in politics professionally for almost 20 years,” Sutton says. “It is genuinely the most grassroots thing that I’ve seen.”

Well into the spring, Tesla Takedown organizers nationwide had held hundreds of events across the US and even the globe, and the movement has gained a patina of professionalism. Tesla Takedown sends press releases to reporters. The movement has buy-in from Indivisible, a progressive network that dates back to the first Trump administration, with local chapters hosting their own protests. At least one Democratic congressional campaign has promoted a local #TeslaTakedown event.

Beyond the showrooms, Tesla sales are down by half in Europe compared to last year and have taken a hit in California, the US’s biggest EV market. Celebrities including Sheryl Crow and Jason Bateman have publicly ditched their Teslas. A Hawaii-based artist named Matthew Hiller started selling “I Bought This Before Elon Went Crazy” car decals in 2023; he estimates he has sold 70,000 anti-Musk and anti-Tesla stickers since then. (There was a “Space X-size explosion of sales after his infamous salute,” Hiller says.) In Seattle, the Troublemakers regularly hold “de-badging” events, where small handfuls of sheepish owners come by to have the T emblems drilled off their cars.

In Portland, Oregon, on a recent May Saturday, Ed Niedermeyer was once again sweating through his shark costume as he hopped along the sidewalk in front of the local Tesla showroom. His sign exhibited the DOGE meme, an alert Shiba Inu, with the caption “Heckin’ fascism.” (You’d get it if you spent too much time on the internet in 2013.) Honks rang out. The shark tends to get a good reaction from drivers going by, he said. About 100 people had shown up to this Takedown protest, in front of a Tesla showroom that sits kitty-corner to a US Immigration and Customs Enforcement office.

Niedermeyer is a car writer and has spent a lot of time thinking about Elon Musk since 2015, when he discovered that Tesla wasn’t actually operating a battery swapping station like it said it did. Since then, he has written a book, Ludicrous: The Unvarnished Story of Tesla Motors, and documented many of what he claims to be Musk’s and the automaker’s half-truths on their way to the top.

Niedermeyer acknowledges that Musk and Tesla have proven difficult to touch, even by nationwide protests literally outside their doors.

Despite the Seattle cheers during Tesla’s last quarterly earnings call, the automaker’s stock price gained steam through the spring and rose on the news that its CEO would no longer officially work for the federal government. Musk has said investors should value Tesla not as a carmaker but as an AI and robotics company. At the end of this month, after years of delays, Tesla says it will launch a robotaxi service. According to Wall Street analysts’ research notes, they believe him.

Even a public fight with the president—one that devolved into name-calling on Musk’s and Trump’s respective social platforms—was not enough to pop the Tesla bubble.

“For me, watching Musk and watching our inability to stop him and create consequences for this snowballing hype and power has really reinforced that we need a stronger government to protect people from people like him,” says Niedermeyer.

Still, Tesla Takedown organizers take credit for the cracks in the Musk-Trump alliance—and say the protests will continue. The movement has also incorporated a more cerebral strategy, organizing local efforts to convince cities, states, and municipalities to divest from Musk’s companies. They already had a breakthrough in May, when Lehigh County, Pennsylvania, became the first US public pension fund to say it wouldn’t purchase new Tesla stocks for its managed investment accounts.

The movement's goals may be lofty, but Niedermeyer argues that despite Tesla’s apparent resilience, Musk is still America’s most vulnerable billionaire. And sure, Musk, the CEO of an electric car company, the guy who made himself the figurehead for his automaker and fired his PR team to make sure it would stick, the one who alienated the electric car company’s customer base through a headlong plunge not only into political spending but the delicate mechanics of government itself—he did a lot of it on his own.

Now Niedermeyer, and everyone involved in Tesla Takedown, and probably everyone in the whole world, really, can only do what they can. So here he is, in a shark costume on the side of the road, maintaining the legally mandated distance from the car showroom behind him.

[eugenedebs1920]

Trust me! There’s so very little I’d want to share similarities with when it comes to maga. I also have faith in the institutions that serve as the bedrock of our democracy. What I do not have faith in is Donald Trump’s integrity, honesty, or willingness to play by the rules. This is the 3rd article I’ve ran across that seemed credible. I checked the site, small independent journalism, no red flags when checking on its credibility. I’m not saying the election was rigged! While at the same time I’m not saying it wasn’t.

The thing is… We all saw that train wreck of a campaign. We all saw the apparent cognitive decline. We saw Trump ostracize, alienate, and discriminate against SO MANY different voting blocks. Saying, “They’re eating the cats, they’re eating the dogs, they’re eating the pets!”. He was called out on, and we saw and heard, him echo words of that German dictator from WWII, Mussolini and Stalin. We heard the promises to be a dictator on day one. His heavy lean towards authoritarianism. Him calling for the licenses of CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC, The Washington Post, The NY Times, pretty much everyone except OAN, Newsmax and Fox News. His calls for across the board tariffs were labeled as detrimental, and recession bound, by nearly every major economic think tank. He got DESTROYED during the debate. We saw hundreds of prominent Republican figures come out in opposition to Trump. Whole movements to ensure his defeat. Almost every single person in his previous administration say they wouldn’t support him, including, for good reasons, his own vice president.

The man’s an American traitor! We all saw the lead up to Jan 6th, then what occurred. I made it my life’s goal, as well as many others, on many platforms to remind everyone of it, and the fake electors scheme, and the theft and retention of classified documents, long after he knew he had last the election. The phone calls with Putin. The sending of vital pandemic relief supplies to Putin in the hype of the epidemic. All the f*ckin Russian ties. I know a lot of Americans ain’t that bright but. Really!? No one else put that together!?

Put on top of that his pressuring of Brad Raffensperger to “find 11,780 votes” and all the conspiring behind that. Not to mention the rape and definition charges. Not to mention his company being convicted of fraud. Not to mention HIM being convicted of fraud and a convicted felon because of it.

Add to that the strange bromance with Elon Musk the owner of Tesla. Trump HATES renewable anything!! He would go off about batteries and sharks habitually! Windmills!! Hates em! Talking all kinds of sh*t on electric cars, saying they would just run out of power, that there wasn’t any charging stations, then if there was you’d be there for hours, that the army wanted electric tanks, typical Trump fabrications. Just ALL the sudden him and the richest man in the world, who just happens to be in constant contact with Putin, who just happened to call for Ukraine to surrender, who just happened to buy a major social media platform, again or whatever. Musk who just happens to own Starlink, who just happens to offer free internet service in nearly every swing state.

On top of all that the numbers just don’t add up. You’re saying that 400,000 people, went in the voting booth, ONLY voted Trump and just walked out? Didn’t vote for the Republican senator, didn’t vote for the Republican representative, didn’t vote on any of the referendums or bills? Just “bullet” voted trump? Even dumbass Tommy Tuberville said in an interview, trying to accuse the left of fuckery, “It’s just weird how, the Democratic candidate, in a state Trump won, would be elected to congress”. Yea! Sure is “weird”, Tommy!

Then, the cocky statements from Trump and the right. I was watching this sh*t like, ‘these MFers are up to something’. Then, Him saying numerous times, he doesn’t need the votes. His “little secret” with Mike Johnson. The straight arrogance from Kevin Roberts, not only in publishing project 2025 but in his statements like, “there’s a second American revolution coming” leading to “and it will be bloodless, if the left allows it to be”. Then, there’s Joe Rogan, who lets it slip on his pod that Elon had an app on his phone where he knew the election results 4 hours before anyone else. Then why did he tell Tucker Carlson he would end up in jail?

You’re telling me, that guy, running that “prestigious” a campaign, with all the shinanigans after and during his first administration, a felon, hated by his own party, that fuckin guy won all 7 swing states, which hasn’t been done by anyone in 40 fuckin years, that guy, who literally said at a town hall, “no more questions, who wants to hear anymore damn questions” then proceeded to sway on stage for 40 mins to tunes, that guy won the popular vote too!? The popular vote that a Republican has only one once since Reagan!? That fuckin guy won all 7 swing states and the popular!? I don’t know if I can buy that.

I guess what I’m getting at is, forensic audits and hand recounts in the swing states would put all that unease to rest. It should be done, and soon! Trump has cheated at everything he’s done in the past, why would that change now?

[heypax]

ive been feeing many emotions about the watcher announcement, mainly that while i understand their wish to break free from youtube the way this was handled was pretty terrible. hyping this up for ages basically to say youre gonna have to pay now! with no kind of like indication to their audience before? i understand wanting to not be reliant on ads, but for fans who cant directly support them economically watching videos with ads is the way to go.

and once again, this is just not the way to do the announcement. they could have angled for a more we need to this for the companies sake version, or try and do a streamer site with a free tier with ads ? i cant say i know enough ahout the business part to really say.

but i also feel watcher is gonna see how quickly the internet can turn on people. before today ive almost never seen anyone mention they steven drives a tesla, and his podcast comments from 2020 seemed mostly forgotten, but ive seen both of this get brought up multiple times since the announcement. and as someone who loves their content and have economically supported them its really crazy to see.

[veenus-flowertrap]

Stellar Association (aster yang)

This took waaaaayyy longer to get out than I anticipated!! Definitely not because I procrastinated too long and when I actually wanted to do it the power went out so I had to live without internet for days... (tag rq: @chronicler-of-narrative)

Overview ⭐

Name: Aster Yang (Full Name: Astraeus Erwin Nokianvirtanen) Age: 1 (Pre-HSR/Hi3), 13 (HSR) Sex/Gender: Male (He/Him) Species: Synthetic Human World: Earth (Hi3) Faction(s): Story-Seekers, Masked Fools (formerly; temporary alliance) Path: Nihility Voice Claim: Mizuki Okiura (AI: The Somnium Files)

Aster is a member of the Story-Seekers and the son of Welt Yang and Void Archives. He ran away from home shortly after his 13th birthday. Prior to joining the Story-Seekers, Aster placed his trust in the Masked Fools, who had promised to help him find what he was looking for.

Lore ⭐

Introduction

“ A star that has strayed far from its original cluster. Will he make his way back? Or find himself at home in a completely different place? Are stars meant to live long after they've burnt out? ”

Appearance

Aster is a young boy with fair skin, blonde hair and reddish-brown eyes. His hair is somewhat messy and styled into a short jellyfish cut.

He wears a cropped blue jacket with a white hoodie and cuffs and a yellow star in the back. It has a pink and yellow stripe tie instead of a drawstring. He wears denim shorts with white stitch details shaped like stars. Underneath it all is a black, skintight unitard.

His shoes are blue, orange, white and pink and are akin to sketchers. They have a Valkyrie wing on one side.

Character Stories

Character Details

The result of Welt Yang and Void Archives' DNA being combined into one human being. A quiet young boy, who keeps his emotions under lock and key. Aster doesn't know why he's needed by the Story-Seekers, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy their company.

Character Story: Part I

He didn't have much in terms of talent. Though he was exceptionally smart, much like his two older siblings, Aster never really did anything with it. He vaguely recalls being put in various recreational classes throughout his childhood, only to drop out of them not even a week later.

The only one that truly stuck with him had been violin.

"You're improving a lot quicker than I expected. That's good. I bet you'll be able to play expert-level songs in no time." "I guess." "You don't sound too happy about it. Do you not like playing violin?" "No, I do. A little bit." "Just a little?" "..." "Aster, if you don't want to keep playing, that's fine. We won't force you."

It's true. Nobody was forcing him to do this, or any of the things he does. But he does it anyway.

Character Story: Part II

Every now and then, he'd get to visit St. Freya alongside Joey. Neither of them actually attended the school — Joey had skipped his junior and senior year of high school so he could start helping out at the Headquarters, while Aster was homeschooled.

He had only tried going to a normal school once, and once was enough. So Aster didn't really have friends. Ein and Tesla had tried and failed to set him up on playdates as a child. Every kid would always say the same thing.

"He's too quiet. I even thought he was mute." "It's like he's in his own little world most of the time." "Is he really Joey's brother? They're so... different."

He had already lost hope at that point, but his sister was quick to assure him that this wasn't the end.

"One day, you're going to find what you're looking for."

Character Story: Part III

"You wanna play a game?"

The Fool hung from the tree branch upside-down like a resting bat. Aster knew that if he did that, he would surely pass out in just a few minutes once all the blood rushed into his head.

"What kind of game?" "Pshh — I dunno, any game! Any game you like to play!" "..." "You've got nothin'? Nothing at all? How boring are you that you've never played a game before?" "It's not that, I just—" "I'll pick, then! Hide-and-Seek! Do I need to explain the rules to you?" "No, I know how to play." "Alright! You seek, I'll hide."

He didn't think much of it. They were just playing a game. Aster counted to ten and went looking for him. He looked, and looked, only to find that the forest was completely empty.

"He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who trusts others is the most foolish."

Character Story: Part IV

"You look lost."

He, like any other kid, was always taught not to talk to strangers. Especially not ones that look like your average drunk hobo. But something about this guy felt... safe. In a way Aster couldn't quite describe.

"I kind of am." "Yeah? Need help?"

He wasn't sure whether or not he should accept this man's offer. He could very well be another person looking to exploit his naivete. The question is: would Aster let him?

"...What would you get out of helping me?" "What would I get? Jeez... I don't look that desperate, do I?" "You do." "...Well, at least you're honest about it. I don't want anything. I just wanna help."

How easily he wouldn't believed that a few months ago...

"Okay." "Okay?" "I'll accept your help. But I don't trust you." "Eh? But how does that-?" "Just help me before I change my mind.."

The man shrugs.

"Alright then. What's your name, kid?" “I’m not telling you that.” “Fine, then. Guess I’ll call you Stray Cat, for now.”

Voice-Overs ⭐

First Meeting: “Um... Hey. The name’s Aster. That drunk guy that follows me around is Gallagher. He’s, like, my guard dog or something.”

Greeting: “I’m no good at simple small talk… Just tell me if you’re fine, or whatever.”

Parting: “Leaving? …Okay, then. Have fun.”

About Self - Sleeping Habits: “My sister always used to complain that I sleep too little or sleep too much with no in between. I haven’t had this problem ever since I’ve started sleeping in a starship. Something about being surrounded by all those distant, fleeting lights prevents my insomnia, while Titor’s constant nagging prevents me from sleeping in.”

About Self - Clothes: “It does get pretty hot at times, but that doesn’t stop me from wearing the unitard. Why do I wear it? …I get uncomfortable when I don’t. Let’s leave it at that.”

Chat - Destiny: “I don’t really believe in that sort of thing. I mean… wouldn’t every choice we make be pointless if it was always going to happen? Does fighting mean anything if one is destined to lose? The Story-Seekers are against Fate.”

Hobbies: “I like to read manga when I have the time. Besides that? I sleep. What kind of manga…? I’d rather not say.”

Annoyances: “Journalists are a curious bunch, aren’t they? The moment they find something about you worth writing about, they hound you down until they get their story. Even in space, you’ll find news channels broadcasting people’s personal lives like it’s theirs to see.”

Something to Share: “I never went to school. I have a family full of geniuses that taught me everything I need to know.”

Knowledge: “Not everyone knows which Path they follow. I certainly don’t. In the future, according to Titor, Paths of any kind will cease to exist except for one.”

About Welt: “He’s my father. That’s all I know.”

About Gallagher: “I know he doesn’t seem like the responsible type — ‘cause he isn’t. But he cares. And you can feel it once you get to know him.”

About Galen: “I have a feeling that they weren’t always like that. There’s still a part of them that’s kind and well-meaning, but it’s buried deep under all that... bitterness. Grief can change a person in ways you can't even imagine.”

About J. Titor: “I’d like to consider myself a skeptical person. If you had asked me a year ago if I believed in time travel, the answer would be a firm and honest, “No.” But Titor has a way of changing other people’s minds. He can see right through your words, as if he’s had this same conversation with you before.”

About Mystia: “I don’t know what her deal is. She carries around that Tome of Anamnesis like it’s her actual heart. She’s show-y and talks like a Shakespeare play. She didn’t give it a second thought when ditching her comrades, but got all pissy when it happened to her. Safe to say, she and I don’t get along very well.”

God, y'all have no idea how pissed off I am as i'm writing this rn. tumblr keeps fucking with me and deleting parts of this draft and i am this 👌close to crashing tf out. and the worst part? this 'lore summary' isn't even a FULL summary bc i haven't even mentioned the fact that aster was born in a lab under st. fountain that belonged to dr mobius, or how aster basically embodies preteen/teenage struggles and i'm too sleep deprived to write it down let alone make sense of it 🤦

[levyfiles]

Yeah I have an issue with this launch but honestly I have more of an issue with Steven's entitled sounding IG post. I get what he was going for but driving a tesla while posting about all your celeb pals and then dismissing the little people who supported you from day one feels gross.

Tesla's are not that much more pricey than your average other car anymore and he bought his--not off the pockets of patrons or subscribers but on his own consistent work over the years prior to Watcher. Also for the last time, did we all miss when he went Cadillac? lol

Sponsors on Youtube and the internet in general have been power-hungry art-killing thieves for over a decade now. AI artistic gaming, get-rich-quick for free labour schemes, and cheapy made fast-product peddling thieves. When he says that the two audiences are different; he's giving us a lot more credit than the average user unable to understand that we're all cogs in the wheel of capitalism and that for every thing we hem and haw at, there's six other things we contribute to by way of acting in the system to hurt "The Little People".

The whole point of this move is to give the people who support them an opportunity to pivot to supporting what they really want to make, not edited down advertisements for Mistplay or those knives that don't actually cut anything.

[vague-humanoid]

Debunking conspiracy theories takes time away from recovery efforts

As rescue work continues and authorities try to separate fact from fiction, the conspiracy theories are not helping. Elected leaders from both parties have had to set the record straight and urge people not to give into fear and rumor.

“If everyone could maybe please put aside the hate for a bit and pitch in to help, that would be great,” posted Glenn Jacobs, the retired professional wrestler known as Kane, who is now the Republican mayor of Knox County, Tennessee. Jacobs’ post was intended to rebut rumors that workers from the Federal Emergency Management Agency were seizing relief supplies from private citizens.

Many of the conspiracy theories focus on hard-hit North Carolina, a state key to winning the White House. Rumors circulated that FEMA was raiding storm donations and withholding body bags, forcing local hospitals to stack the bodies of victims. One claim suggested federal authorities would condemn the entire town of Chimney Rock and prohibit resettlement in order to commandeer a valuable lithium mine nearby.

False claims of blocked relief flights and aid withheld from Republicans

Elon Musk, the owner of Tesla, X and SpaceX, posted that private relief flights to North Carolina were being blocked by the Federal Aviation Administration, a claim dismissed as false by Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg.

Despite the tradition of Democrats and Republicans putting aside politics for disaster response, many conspiracy theories suggest Democrats such as President Joe Biden or North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper are intentionally withholding aid from Republicans. Trump has pushed the claim, as has North Carolina’s lieutenant governor, Mark Robinson, the embattled GOP nominee for governor.

“They’re being treated very badly in the Republican areas,” Trump told Fox News, ignoring reports and photo and video evidence of recovery efforts underway throughout the region. “They’re not getting water, they’re not getting anything.”

Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones endorsed Trump’s fact-free allegation. Jones, the founder of InfoWars, popularized the idea that the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in Connecticut that killed 20 children in 2012 was faked. “Exclusive: Victims of Hurricane Helene Confirm The Federal Government is Purposely Blocking Rescuers and Stealing Aid In an Attempt to Keep Deep Red Areas From Voting,” Jones posted Thursday on X.

Disinformation campaigns by China and Russia amplify the misleading claims

State-run media and disinformation campaigns run by China and Russia have amplified false and misleading claims about the response to the storm. Both countries have used social media and state news stories to criticize responses to past U.S. natural disasters, part of a larger effort to stoke division and distrust among Americans.

State and local officials from both parties have condemned the conspiracy theories as rumors, saying the focus should be on recovery, not political division and hearsay. Responding to the hoaxes is taking up time that should go toward assisting victims, said North Carolina state Sen. Kevin Corbin, a Republican who urged his constituents not to give into hoaxes.

“Friends can I ask a small favor?” Corbin posted Thursday on Facebook. “Will you all help STOP this conspiracy theory junk that is floating all over Facebook and the internet... Please don’t let these crazy stories consume you.”

After Robinson, the GOP candidate for North Carolina governor, posted that state officials had not prepared for the storm, a spokesman for the governor accused Robinson of mounting “an online disinformation campaign.” North Carolina officials say the response to Helene is the largest in state history, including thousands of members of the National Guard and other recovery workers, millions of meals, dozens of aircraft and more than 1,000 chainsaws.

Trump has tried to tie the hurricane’s aftermath to immigration, a leading issue of his campaign. He falsely claimed that FEMA had run out of money because all of it had gone to programs for undocumented immigrants.

The agency’s funding for disaster aid is stretched, but that is because of the many parts of the country dealing with the effects of hurricanes, wildfires and other calamities. Disaster aid is funded separately from other Department of Homeland Security programs that support immigration-related spending.

Far-out tales of space lasers, fake snow and weather control technology

Bizarre stories proposing that the government used weather control technology to aim the hurricane at Republican voters quickly racked up millions of views on X and other platforms.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga., endorsed the idea, posting Wednesday on X: “Yes they can control the weather. It’s ridiculous for anyone to lie and say it can’t be done.”

Far-out tales of space lasers, fake snow and weather control technology -- sometimes tinged with antisemitism — have spread after recent natural disasters, including a snowstorm in Texas and last year’s wildfire in Maui.

Experts who study conspiracy theories say big events like disasters — or the Sept. 11 attacks or the COVID-19 pandemic — create perfect conditions for conspiracy theories to spread because large numbers of anxious people are eager to find explanations for shocking events.

Responding to the volume of false claims about Helene, the Red Cross urged people to consult trustworthy sources of information and to think twice before reposting conspiracy theories.

“Sharing rumors online without first vetting the source and verifying facts ultimately hurts people — people who have just lost their homes, neighborhoods, and, in some cases, loved ones,” the organization wrote in a public plea.