#select post from queue order by time desc limit 1;

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@morganbritton132's tags: #Hopper is out there somewhere developing a headache#Steve: I’m fine really. it’s just that I feel like there’s a wall of glass between me and the rest of the world#and nothing matters because I’m a fake person with fake emotions#Eddie: yeah that’s called depression babe#Eddie rightfully realizing that Steve wouldn’t take pity well and made it seem like he’s doing him a favor

Eddie suddenly becoming really interested in everything Steve has to say and isn’t even calling him a dumb jock anymore. Steve, weirded out, is finally like, “Dude, what’s going on with you?”

“Don’t know if you’re aware of this, Harrington,” Eddie answers easily. “The vibe you’re putting out there is of a man that’s about to off himself.”

“So….youre being nice to me because you think I’m going to hurt myself?”

“Oh, god no,” Eddie shakes his head. “I’m doing this for selfish reasons. I can’t have everyone in this school mourning in black. I’ll look like a conformist.”

That… that actually makes Steve laugh for the first time in months.

Eddie beams at the accomplishment and tells him, “Make my life easier and eat lunch at my table. Don’t wanna have to shout at you from across the cafeteria.”

“You love shouting across the cafeteria.”

“True, but do it anyways.”

Steve, still kinda laughing, nods, “Deal.”

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Last Line Tag Game

Rules: Share the last line you wrote, then tag as many ppl as there are words.

Tagged by @asexualasshat

"Did I hear that right when we were talking about psychic powers?”

12 people to tag:

@cranberrymoons, @strangersteddierthings, @anonymousdandelion, @matchingbatbites

@vampsiltonpitch, @emitowrites, @puppy-steve, @pukner

@kedreeva, @stevebabey, @weronlystardust, @momotonescreaming

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Friend of a friend on facebook posted a picture with a caption “Someone in my smithing group got a free crate of high quality steel today in the form of "used casting molds"... I am at a loss for words.”

It’s dicks. A big box of metal dicks. Dildo molds. Just, hundreds of them.

And I can’t share it because I have family on facebook. And I’m not sure if I should repost it here because ... they’re not my metal dicks. 

But you should all know that there exists a big box of metal dicks that are probably going to be melted down into, I would hope, one giant metal dick. 

(No, probably not. But I can dream, can’t I?)

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They bring back Nate’s poor dead kid a lot with the flashback shot but then all he has to do is say “Sam would’ve been 13 this year” and I’m like “shit...” and tearing up again. 

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grandprev tag presevation: #Billy frequently leaves hate comments#He’s been reported by fans who don’t know he’s related to max and had his account banned countless times but he keeps making new ones#Eddie eventually does ask Steve’s kids to join a campaign and they absolutely terrorise him but it’s great content#Fans start writing Steddie fanfics and they pretend to not know about them but then Robbin exposes their chat where they share recs#Then there’s the one time Steve’s doing a live stream and Eddie kicks down the door like listen to this shit Stevie I would never say this#Eddie secretly writes a few himself because he knows his will be more accurate but he does it anonymously#No one’s caught him but one of them is Steve’s favourite

Modern AU where the party have a famous paranormal investigation and unsolved mysteries youtube channel. Steve is in the background of their first ghost hunting video because he wasn't going to let them go and stay overnight in an abandoned building without supervision. Their audience finds Steve's sarcastic comments and parental attitude towards the kids really compelling and most of the comments on that video are begging for him to become a regular in their on location videos. Before long, Steve is a reoccurring presence in their videos playing the skeptic/concerned parent role.

For example:

Dustin: I’ve connected the dots guys. This must be the work of a demon.

Steve: You didn’t connect shit. It's just an old creaky building.

Dustin: I’ve connected them.

—————————————

In an abandoned hospital.

Max: Hey this giant metal door has some kind of engraving on it.

Lucas: Oh cool, it looks like old graffiti.

Steve: Yeah that’s great, do you know what else it looks like? Rusty as shit. Now get back here and don’t touch anything because your parents are gonna be so pissed if they find out you had to get tetanus shots at 2am on a Saturday because I let you wander around an abandoned hospital with a bunch of shady ass camera men. No offense.

Camera man: None taken.

Mike (from the doorway): Guys! Will, El and Dustin found an operating theatre and there are a bunch of old scalpels and needles and stuff in there.

Max: Awesome, let’s go.

Steve: No! No! Let’s not go! Let’s stay as far away as possible from the room full of potential infections. Where are Dustin, El and Will? They didn’t go inside the room, did they?

Mike: See, I could answer that, but I don’t think you’re gonna like it.

—————————————

While exploring a ‘haunted’ hotel:

Mike: Hey look, all of Steve’s bitches are in this room.

El: There is nobody in there.

Mike: Exactly.

He turns to look directly into the camera with a sly grin and the others start laughing.

Steve: Yeah, yeah. You’ll be laughing when I drive home without you.

—————————————

At the same hotel.

Steve: Dustin. Your little light box thing is broken, it’s been flashing on and off for the past five minutes.

Dustin: Oh my God, Steve! That means it can sense a spirit. Why didn’t you say anything?! Did you not listen to my long and detailed explanation of how the equipment works?

Steve: I’m gonna be so honest with you. No, I didn’t.

—————————————

On their Mothman episode trip to point pleasant.

Steve, staring at the statue (we all know which one): Ok, but why is he kinda…

Lucas: Please stop talking.

Dustin: No sexualising the cryptids please, Steve.

Steve: If they didn’t want anyone to sexualise Mothman, then why would they give his statue such a defined ass and abs?

Max: I mean, he’s not wrong.

—————————————

Eventually, Steve gets peer pressured by the comments into starting his own channel. And since he still has no idea what he wants to do with his life, he decides to go ahead and do it.

At first his audience are super confused because his content is a hard pivot from the supernatural and unsolved mysteries content people are used to seeing him in. He mainly reacts to DIY haircare videos and gives tips on how to do what the people in the videos were trying to do properly without risking ending up bald.

He also makes wholesome baking videos, and has a side podcast with Robin, where they talk shit for 3 hours about anything they want - usually celebrities and assholes on the internet - as well as having a segment where Robin makes Steve watch a movie he's never seen and they review it. People who came from the paranormal channel still love his content because he’s funny and sassy and his videos are surprisingly helpful at times. He’s soon catching up to his friends in subscriber numbers.

Eddie and his band have a channel where they upload music videos, live performances and backstage/tour vlogs. They also make the occassional song covers where they take requests in the comments for metal versions of pop songs. Eddie also has a side channel where he runs D&D campaigns with other influencers (he hates that word).

One day he’s doing a Q&A and when someone asks which influencers he’d like to invite for his next campaign, he mentions Steve and says he’s been secretly watching his videos for a while and they’re kind of a guilty pleasure. He’s even tried some of Steve’s hair care tips because his hair was looking a bit frazzled under the heat of the lights on stage and it was getting in his way during performances. Now he swears by them because his hair has never looked or felt better.

Steve’s never seen any of Eddie’s videos but he starts watching them after that, he particularly likes the metal versions of pop songs because it makes the genre more accessible to him. Sometimes he makes joke song suggestions in the comments. Every single time, the song he suggested gets covered.

The boys are all insanely jealous of this new development because they’ve been fans of Eddie’s channels for years and have been bringing up references to some of his campaigns in their videos to try and get him to consider them for the next one, but so far have had no luck. Meanwhile, Steve, who doesn’t even know the first thing about D&D has his full attention. Steve was going to ask Eddie to consider asking them out of the kindness of his heart, but after they’ve given him a little too much attitude over it, he decides he’s gonna join the campaign instead just to spite them.

Cue Steve going from completely clueless to kind of a decent player and the two of them going from fascinated with each other to constantly flirting and appearing in each other’s videos.

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Reading a fic..

Last lines of chapter 13 are “Everything’s perfect.”

There are 23 chapters.

Oh, fuck.

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I really like the militia guy punching Eliot and hurting himself doing so.

Eliot barely flinches.

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“Guess I’ll go pull someone else out of hell and start another epic love story with them, then.”

Professional Couple Only just keeps getting better and funnier as I read it. I don’t know how but damn. 

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more of this fic in @unpretty's tags: #original#ficblogging#i'm thinking of failed comedians who become political grifters except with murder#the man sets up with a CHANGE MY MIND table and here comes a man in a cape swinging into frame to kick him in the head#he wants to do the funny back and forth so bad. he wants there to be clipworthy banter. and instead he just gets decked.#and he wants to claim the intellectual victory but he can't. because that shit was funny and he knows it.#he can't try to claim batman has lost the moral high ground because that's a man dressed like a bat#it's like the uno reverse of making fun of someone for trying to engage with a clown. batman HAS to be the one to engage.#but he just keeps fucking punching him#he can never top batman's commitment to the bit and he doesn't even know it#because he doesn't know that this is a billionaire with an open invitation to retire on bondage lesbian island#and he's spending his time in sadsack city getting shot at and sulking instead

idea: the joker, compelled even against his own interests to do whatever he thinks would be funniest. the joker may be a sadist with a really shitty sense of humor but even he knows a high-quality punchline when he sees one. his obsession with batman is rooted in batman’s unfailing ability to trick the joker into a better gag that gets him captured. the joker gets chased into a room with plenty of really great hiding places and escape routes, but also a slender pole in the middle of the room. he has to hide behind the fucking pole. he’s gotta. how can he not go for the hiding behind a pole gag. there’s three doors but there’s also a joker-shaped hole in the wall that will make it look like he broke through the wall. it’s a four-story drop into a bakery dumpster full of pies. the joker is obsessed with batman because deep in his heart he knows that batman is actually funnier than he is but instead he spends his time standing on rooftops in the rain being a stoic piece of shit. the joker is salieri, and batman is a mozart that decided to go into carpentry.

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Sherlock has a superhero on his roof. I like him. 

They bring him down to the kitchen and Joan makes him a drink. 

Sherlock does that Sherlock-thing where he determines where the superhero comes from based on all the things, then demands the dude takes off the mask. Joan says “please” because Joan is great.

When the dude takes the mask off, he asks “How did he do that?” and gets the reply “I was bitten by a radioactive detective” because Sherlock is hilarious.

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The team walking through the smoke like intimidating action heroes. Excellent. I just need something exploding behind them. 

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WIP Weekend Game

Inspired by @hellsfireclub, @momotonescreaming, and @scoops-stevie who have already posts things.

I'm going to be traveling a bit this weekend so I don't know how much I'll get to, but I wouldn't mind participating in the WIP Weekend Game when I get my downtime. Launching off of @kedreeva's Wednesday post and my last reblog of it here, restating the rules:

Here’s how it works:

In a reblog (or new post w/ rules attached), post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to post!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. If you tag me in your post, I will send you an ask request!

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.

Files

I only list 5 files but anything on the chart is up for requests.

Crown of Thorns

Nightswimming working doc (Steddie Bigbang)

Time Travel

The Prophetic D&D Game

Cat's in the Cradle

Chart for progress

Snippet and taglist below the cut:

Snippet from Nightswimming. Have some Carol and Steve interactions.

She rolled her eyes. “Well, at least the little freshmen still respect you,” she said. “But they’re so young. They don’t know any better.” 

“So true,” Steve said. “Where are you headed?” 

“Are you walking me to class, Harrington? Really?”

“I’m bored,” he said. “I thought we could catch up.”

“I’m actually headed to the library,” Carol said. She shoved her books at him, and he caught them reflexively. “You can carry my stuff, slugger. It’ll drive Tommy bonkers when he finds out.” 

“Oh, can I, Perky? You’re so generous.” 

“Ugh, don’t call me that,” she said. “You know how long it took me to get Tommy to stop it with that stupid nickname? I’m not putting up with it from you.” 

“Wait, he actually stopped?” He tutted. “That’s when you should’ve known something was up.” 

“God, shut up,” she said. She brushed her hair out of her face. “I hate that you’re right. Anyway, what are you doing for spring break?” 

Steve gave her a side-eye. “Nothing exciting,” he said. “Why?”

Taglist

@2btheanswertothequestion, @artaxlivs, @anonymousdandelion, @anzelsilver, @atmilliways, @corrodedcoughin, @disastardly, @fiore-della-valle, @greenbergsays, @greenlikethesea, @inairbinad, @lady-lostmind, @nburkhardt, @outpastthebrakers, @patchworkgargoyle, @qprstobin, @riality-check, @scarcrossdlvrs, @sidekick-hero, @spacebarrette, @spicysix, @stargyles, @starryeyedjanai, @steddierthings, @steves-strapcollection, @stobinesque, @weronlystardust

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Preserving @dodger-chan's tags: #i kept trying to have this conversation with darling spouse when we watched season two of daredevil#because splinter would have been such a better mentor than stick#(i am definitely not writing fanfic where matt runs away from the orphanage to get taken in by splinter)#(the kid knows there's something weird about his new brothers but he would not guess turtles)

if I was matt murdock and I found out the same chemical spill that blinded me and lit the world on “fire” turned a bunch of turtles into pizza loving ninjas I would lose it actually

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“Did you fight a crocodile for this?”

“No, George not fight. Crocodile have toothache. George pull.” 

George is my hero. I love him.

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"I think me and Sam are uber boned." "Sure you're not uber boning?" Dean mumbled. "Oh, please, Dean. If me and your brother were doing the do, you would know. Bit loud." "Oh, ew. Okay. Forget I said anything."

...

Dean can dish it out but he can’t take it. (Phrasing). 

He’s not going to learn, either. 

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I like it when the bad guys gloat over Eliot and call him “The Great Eliot Spencer” like ... dude, you know why he’s known and you’re nobody? Because he actually is. Like, if you know his name why aren’t you already running? Dumb asses.