#sheep thoughts

[idksheepthoughts]

So this Happen live on stream it wasn't insanely awkward at all. (Pink: Ex Friend/Grey: Me)

Well its been some time since I've used this account This happen 3/25/25. So I've been very suicidal ideation since 2025, and at the end of January I was heavily considering it. But when I get like that and drunk my subconscious tends to reach out to people... in a venting matter. I guess my venting and then forgetting to reach back out for over a month pissed this now ex-friend of I'm not even sure how long. probably 9 or 10 years? A long time so I guess I reached out as I had helped him in some similar dark times. However in my drunken stupor I must have forgotten to reach back out and say "hey I'm alive sorry" because he had disappeared for no reason on me before too... and honestly... I wouldn't even consider what I vented to him in DM's a "suicide note" just... venting suicidal ideation and hopelessness. But everyone has their own interpretation I suppose. So basically I've been on a nightly blackout drunk bender from 12/21/24 until 3/22/25. I had drunkenly messaged this person on 1/31/25 in a very dark place. And honestly just forgot to reach back out, not the best move that's 100% on me. But I've also had this person disappear and not talk to me for literal months when he was in a dark place... you would think he would understand that... but nah fuck me. Drag all this shit out into my public live stream rather than either message me on discord or Re-Add me to discord and message me there. Nah air your grievances in twitch chat. I mean I get it, I'm a mess of a person, I'm not the easiest person to deal with, I've been in this cycle of poor mental health with no treatment and self medication through substance abuse for majority of my life. So it's fair to abandon me for my behavior... but kind of not great to do this during my actual public online area. Its like having an argument in the walmart parking lot... except online. Whatever people come and go I'm used to that at this point, just wish people understood how fucking difficult it is to be alive like this with all these brain debuffs constantly. I'll try not to vent to online friends anymore. I ruin everything yet again and apparently forgetting to reach back out to someone after something I don't even remember having the conversation via blackout despite the same person disappearing on me for months or just straight up not talking to me for very long period of time makes me the asshole. Because in the last message I think he wanted to insult me but he probably realized "hey this is a fucking live stream... maybe this isn't the place for this" ... could have sent me a twitch whisper, could have readded me to discord, could have done anything other than that... oh well.

[making-friendos]

Sheep yuri…ewe-ri

[tadpole-apocalypse]

Perils of dating a Wild Magic Sorcerer while trying to have a dramatic moment on your grave.

[andminnequin]

PRIDE MONTH’S ALMOST OVER AND I JUST REMEMBERED I HAD TO DO THIS

SPEEDRUNS IT

[rhapsoddity]

what a hefty unit of a sheep,,,,

[tsukii0002]

Okay, I've been thinking that Mc is the person who best handles the subject of facing death, ironically. Being human and mortal, they know very well what the final stop is and has somehow made peace with that fate, just as all humans do to live day to day. But the brothers, angels, demons and others do not believe that Mc can face the concept of death so easily, even Solomon thinks that death can overwhelm them, because he, being immortal, has stopped thinking like an ordinary human.

Death is a concept that overwhelms beings so long-lived, almost immortal or immortal (except for Thirteen), so everyone believes that for Mc is much worse.

So imagine the situation, a famous witch who has managed to extend her life several hundred years has died and because of her relevance her funeral is crowded and angels and demons are invited. She was a good person, she did a lot of good to the human world and helped a great number of humans, demons, angels and magical creatures. So his departure has been a great loss to the three realms.

Now, imagine Luke super worried, asking Simeon and Lucifer to go comfort Mc, that he is too touched to “be able to give peace to Mc's fragile human heart”, it's normal, he is a child, so the adults nod and go to find Mc willing to calm them down and take their mind off the heavy burden that must be the certainty of death.

However Mc is in front of the open casket, the only one who has been able to approach (Most do not understand why the mortal remains have been exposed in that way), in the world funerals are diverse and in the region of the deceased, that should be the procedure. To Lucifer and Simeon's surprise, Mc has a serene, even tender expression as they leave a white flower between the deceased's hands.

“I wonder if she would remember her mother in her last days, if she lived life as she wished”

They both looked at each other in confusion, but Mc simply turned and smiled at them.

“In the end all that counts is what you've lived, that's what you take away…I hope when it's my turn I can be as satiated as she looks”

There they understood, that unlike demons and angels, humans, Mc, lived with death, despite the fear, despite the sadness, despite everything, they had to go on living with it. At that moment they could only think that Mc was much stronger than any of those present.

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A little reflection on death in the universe of obey me!, although I'm not quite sure I could have managed to express things as I wanted to 😐.

Thanks for reading 🩷 .

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[maive-the-sheep]

As someone officially diagnosed with aspd.

I don't get the problem people have with self diagnosers.

Aspd on record means if go to jail get a worse sentence.

Aspd on record means many therapist in their ableism will refuse to help with any problem.

I knew i had no guilt or shame or affective empathy or feelings of compassion from earliest memories. I didn't suddenly lose those feelings when i got diagnosed.

And there is genetic evidence for aspd.

And there are psychologists that view it more like a neurodevelopmental disorder.

"Well the dsm 5"...was written by people who used studies only on prisoners for their results so it became more action focused over internal as a way to reinforce the prisoner claim.

And it's a work in progress authority...that you are blindly obeying and believing? Now that's a trait that doesn't fit aspd.

Reflect on actual symptoms like problems with boredom. Lower, missing, or weirdly selective care for feelings of compassion, affective empathy, guilt, shame, care. Things viewed differently for you then norm. Urges. Response to things. Having rules need to be explained to make sense and not just accepted in their own right. Etc.

Knowing a spectrum and if fit enough, fit enough.

And then if fit do the best to use how different for best way forward. Like i use my selfishness for long term prisoners dilema as a motivation for me to do good. I turned my high anger into motivation. I found beauty in various things as an alleviation for boredom. Etc.

Tl;dr those "with aspd" trying to fake claim others cause no official diagnoses...are the ones most likely to not have aspd.

[valdrift]

single dad isaac 🐑🐺

[sheepwater]

Lil animal heartslabyul I made out of paper :D

[melrosing]

tullys 🐟!

[clumsypuppy]

(guy who has never played cotl) haha au time

[tendermorbid]

[afraidofbee]

Did you see the news about the game?

I can’t describe how upset I am, i can’t even putting in words

[jhoca]

aides-de-camp, dog version

Someone requested Laurens with a dog(s), which I've actually been wanting to do for a very long time (even before you asked me - it's on my to-do list!), but I ended up turning the aides into dogs instead lmao - compare them to their human versions :)

[spacesheeeeeep]

Actually so tired that people mainly focus on the bdsm when they talk about La Pianiste when we literally have this dynamic right here. Like, that's insane.

What if you were a little girl in her 40's who couldn't grow up because of your mother-wife who made you sleep in her bed and forced you to repress every sexual desires and thoughts of becoming your own person just to keep you close to her ? What if you fought back and yearned for dangerous things out of her reach ? But also, what if you let her because it's all you've ever known and been taught to want ?

[canisalbus]

I tried to draw sheep Machete and goat Vasco (but I am not good at drawing goats, at all)

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