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redtail-hero · 5 years ago

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Tags: @meganshinsou-tm @bakugoukatsukiswife @simplybakugou @gr0vndz3ro @goldenbarbie90210 @gallickingun

Rating: MATURE. 18+

Pairing: Bakugou x Reader x Kirishima

I tried really hard to make the reader gender neutral, so anyone can insert themselves in the story. Ultimately this is my time trying to do this. In my head the reader is female and I might switch over by accident. I apologize in advance if I do that.

Tasty Pt 4: Tight

Bakugou was used to the silent hallways of the school in the morning. He was usually the first person in the building as his morning routine had him up way before anyone else on campus. However, silence is not what met his ears as he approached the classroom. The sound of light gasps and moans could be heard from the open doorway. He was unsure if he should enter or not, he really didn't need to see someone getting it on against one of the desks.

After a short moment of debating he decided that it's their own fault if they get embarrassed because they can't keep their pants on. As he entered the room he was slightly surprised to see you sitting at your desk. The small suggestive sounds passed your lips as it seemed like you were in pain as you rubbed your shoulders. He was about to take his seat when you let out a particularly loud moan. He froze, his whole body seized up at the sound while his knees felt weak. Not a second layer he found your eyes suddenly locked with his.

Katsuki caught the way your face flushed in embarrassment as you mumbled an awkward excuse about being sore from training the previous day. He caught the name of that Icy Hot Bastard passing your lips as you talked about a massage.

"... That workout Mr. Aizawa gave us yesterday was definitely a bigger load than normal."

He choked on your choice of words as his mind was halfway in the gutter from your previous suggestive moans. He cleared his throat as he placed his books down. "That Icy Hot bastard probably wouldn't have done it right anyway." He placed his books down before making his way to you. He reached in his pocket and pulled out two pain relief tablets. "Here, Ponytail asked me to give this to you." She didn't but you didn't need to know that.

There was a moment in which you stared at the medication before staring back at him. Bakugou felt anxious and opened his water bottle, taking a drink before addressing you again. Did you think it was poison or something? "Well, are you going to take them or not?"

"Oh, I don't have a drink to-"

You didn't need to say anything else, his brain on autopilot passed his water to you. "Here, you can borrow mine."

Bakugou watched as your lips pressed against the opening of his water bottle, the same bottle he just sipped from. That simple thought didn't even seem to cross your mind as you handed the bottle back to him.

"Thank you Katsuki." A shiver hit his spine, still grateful that he gave you the option to call him by his first name after being your sparring partner the past two years. "Do you think it will help with the knot?"

He grabbed the bottle you passed to him and took another sip. Were you wearing chapstick? He could swear he could taste a small hint of cherry on his lips. "You have a knot?" He licked his lips catching the cherry taste again as you nodded his head.

"It probably won't do much. You'll want to work it out a little."

Katsuki looked at the clock when you groaned and seemed disappointed with his answer. There was plenty of time before the start of class. He was more than willing to help you out and this opportunity was dangling on a string in front of him. He decided to grab it.

"Which side?"

Your eyes snapped up to his quickly he thought you were going to give yourself whiplash. You looked so confused but hopeful at the same time.

"Do you want my help or not? Which side?" He probably should have asked a little nicer but it didn't seem to bother you in the least bit.

"Oh, um left side."

He moved to the back of your chair. "Take the jacket off, it's going to be in the way." Was that too forward? " Unless you're uncomfortable that way."

"Oh, no I'm - that's a good idea." You disposed of your jacket quickly, the fresh scent of your soap greeted him as the air moved around.

"Just try to relax." Bakugou placed his hands on your shoulders, he could feel the heat of your skin through your shirt. He moved his thumbs in a circular motion with a slight amount of force. A sudden but loud gasp fell past your lips. 'Shit, too much.' He frowned at the thought that he hurt you. "Too hard?"

"No, it was the perfect amount of pressure."

Katsuki felt rather pleased with your answer and started moving his thumbs again. The fabric of the shirt wasn't letting him do the best job but he wasn't sure if you'd be willing to start stripping your top for him. "This might work better if I go under your shirt." The words spilled out before he could even stop them.

"Ohh… that's fine with me." He was having a little trouble processing your moan and the fact that your fingers were unbuttoning the top buttons of your school dress shirt. He swallowed hard as his fingers touched your skin.

Damn your flesh was soft. He has to concentrate on remembering the task at hand, making you feel better. He noted that you began to relax against your seat, your eyes sliding shut as your bottom lip found purchase in between your teeth.

Bakugou, couldn't help but smile, knowing that he was the source of your pleasure. His thumbs work in circles, the warmth of your skin spread through his fingers and up his arm. He couldn't believe how soft and silky your hair was as he something hand into it. He massaged gently at the base of your neck, closing his eyes as he enjoyed this moment. A small but noticeable knot could be felt under his thumb.

You jolted and moaned loudly, the sound causing his pants to tighten. He wondered if you'd do it again. He swiped over the same spot, though this time you didn't moan instead the small whimper that passed your lips made him feel hot. "Damn princess you really have a good one here." He spoke softly as you moaned, slowly relaxing again.

"Mmmm, 'Suki."

He could take you right there on the table, the moaning and shorten nickname driving him insane.

A forced a small chuckle as you moan again. "Does this feel good?" He asked as he moved against the knot again. He just had to calm himself, keep control and all would be well.

"Oh, yes right there." You collapsed against the chair.

Katsuki was incredibly turned on, his pants did little to hide the giant tent that had grown. If you were making these noises just over a massage he could help but wonder what would escape your lips if he was fucking you against the desk, hips snapping up and diving deep into you. He was practically drooling at the mental image.

'Fuck!' He was practically panting, his chest rapidly moving as his breathing increased. His hips rocked forward, desperately trying to find relief for his aching cock.

His eyes snapped open at the sound of someone clearing their throat and your body ripped forward away from his hands.

Kirishima was standing in the door way looking down at the floor. "Sorry to interrupt…" the red head looked back up at him and gave a knowing look.

He lost control for a moment and Shitty Hair just had to catch him in the act. He was thankful for his friend killing the mood before he did something he would regret.

"Katsuki, it's been 20 minutes!" You panicked and started to face him but before you could turn your body completely around to see his hard on he grabbed your shoulders. He faced your body forward and pulled you back against the seat. "Sit back, just another moment…" The knot was almost gone but also he needed a moment to calm down.

He gave Kirishima a look that told the boy to distract you. The red head smirked and moved over to the front of your desk. "A knot, huh?"

Another moan went straight to his cock as it passed your lips. He didn't care to listen to your conversation with his friend instead he thought of anything that didn't relate to you. The throbbing in his pants faded slowly as the muscle in your shoulder was significantly looser than before.

Kirishima looked at him. This was bad. Katsuki knew it. The two of them had little to no control when it came to you.

He allowed his fingers to slip away from your shoulders, the cross of a whimper and a moan slipped your lips.

"You look happy." Kirishima grinned at you and Bakugou couldn't feel more relieved his friend was here, he needed to escape the room without it being to awkward.

"Thank you Katsuki." Your voice was thick, laced with sleepiness as you started to fix your top buttons.

Eijirou looked impressed and Katsuki couldn't help the smug smile he gave. He did that. He made you feel that good. "It was nothing. Just make sure you use hot and cold compresses tonight." He stated as he turned toward the door. "And I don't mean that Icy Hot bastard." He added as a after thought.

"Hey, if you need another massage tonight, I can offer my services." Eijirou stated suggestively.

"I might take you up on that offer."

The thought didn't bother Bakugou, he didn't mind sharing with his best friend if he had too. He shook the thought immediately. "Be back in a few." With that he headed to the bathroom with full intentions of taking care of the problem in his pants.

*****

Thoughts?

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou imagine #bnha #mha x reader #my hero academia #kirishima eijirou x reader #eijiro kirishima #tasty series

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tvmblrdothailey · 5 years ago

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Bnha x trans woman reader

A/N: I decided to write an x reader where the reader is a trans woman. To any trans woman reading this I just want you to know thAT I FŪCKING LOVE YOU💙💖🤍💖💙🥰😘🥰😘🥰😘 YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I WILL LITERALLY FIGHT ANYONE WHO HURTS YOU.

Warning: Cursing, Transphobia, mentions of Sex Reassignment Surgery, Gender Dysphoria. Karen

(Y/N): Your name

(D/N): Your dead name

Summary: It took a while for your parents to accept you for who you are, you just hoped your classmates and teachers would accept you as well.

- Before the first day, you had recieved your school uniform, but it turned out to be a mens uniform. To which you had to “politely” ask them to send you the correct uniform.

- Once you made it to class you were immediently introduced to a green haired male who you’d later find out was named Izuku. Then you met Uraraka, Iida, Asui, etc.

- Eveything was going well until your teacher showed up and immediently had you all sent to change into P.E uniforms.

- It wasn’t the uniform that was the problem, it was the fact that none of them knew you were trans and had to share a changing room with other woman. And even though they seemed friendly at first, you still were unsure how’d they react.

- In the past you had to learn the hard way that a smile can really hide someones true colors and that not all people are willing to accept you for who you are and not what you are.

- It’s worth noting that you havent had Sex Reassignment Surgery yet, because you couldnt afford it. (You did take medication though)

- And even though you were generally confident about your Gender, you still had your moments where you started to doubt yourself abd even questioned if you were a real woman (WHICH YOU FRICKING ARE OKAY!!! 😤💙🤍💖)

- Once you were in the womans lockerroom, you tried your best to find a place where you could change without any of them seeing you. So far it was going good until Uraraka came looking for you. She blushed and in a panic you told her you were a trans woman.

- You froze for a few seconds before hearing Uraraka’s voice “Oh...okay, well just so you know, I think you’re a very beautiful woman!” My god you had to hold back from giving Uraraka a hug right then and there.

- Later down the line you had come out to the rest of the girls as a Trans woman, to which they all responded with hugs and affection.

- “We don’t care if you’re trans, you’re still the same (Y/N) we know and love.” -Hagakure

- “It doesnt matter whats in your pants, if you identify as a woman, then you’re a woman.” - Jirou

- “I am literally pink, and you think I’d judge you because of your gender? Hell nah, get over here and let me love you!” - Mina

- “If anyone tells you otherwise you come to me and I will have a “friendly” chat with them.” -Momo

- “Ribbit, You’ll always be our friend (Y/N), no matter what.” -Tsu

- They would die for you

- With the help of the other girls, you eventually came out to Aizawa, and he promised that you would be treated the same just as any other student. And if anyone gives you any problems you bring it to him for him to deal with. (Protective dad tm)

- Eventually the entire class knew and you felt the biggest weight fall of your shoulders.

- “It does’nt matter, you’re still (L/N) (Y/N). And we all care about you. 💚” -Izuku

- “I don’t give a damn about your gender! So stop it with that self-concious shit.” -Bakugo. Although his words may seem harsh, he really cares about you and is willing to blow up any wall, building or mountain to chase away any Dysphoria you may have.

- You had to exaplain it a couple of times for Todoroki since he was never educated about that kind of stuff, but once he got it he immediently replied “I didn’t know people could do that. Thank you for telling me, and I’ll do everything I can to support you.” 🤍❤️

- Of cource there were going to be some students who felt the need to belittle you...

- One time in the Caffiteria, Monoma had walked up to your table and desided that today would be the day he would be the biggest dick in the world

- “It’s shocking how people say Class 1A is one of the hardest courses to get into, yet they let someone like you in.” He said

- You looked at him “Excuse me?”

- “I’m just saying when you think about it scientifically, you’re still a man no m- “ Monoma didn’t get to finish his sentence before Kendo slapped him, knocking him out cold.

- “Hey, sorry about him (Y/N). I knew he was low but I didn’t think he was that low.” She then smiled at you “Don’t listen to him, he’s just desperate to finding ways to make his class seem better because of some imaginary rivalry that’s only exist in his head. Anyway, I need to take him to Recovery girl to get his brains checked, but I’ll see you later!”

- Kendo was the best, and she made sure that Monoma got a stern lecture from Vlad later that day.

- Then there was the Mall incident, when the class was going on a trip to the mall to buy supplies for Summer training camp, but then you ran into an Ex friend.

- Emphasis on the word EX

- “(D/N)?” They said. To which you froze, you recgonized that voice anywhere and you could already tell that this conversation wasn’t going to be friendly.

- You slowly turned around “Hey Karen...” She didnt look that diffrent, fake nails, fake jewlery, fake personality...what?

- “Why are you dressed like a woman?” She said.

- You groaned before responding “Because I am a woman, Karen.” You tried to walk away from her in order to avoid confrontation, the last thing you needed were hundreds of eyes on you. You made a note to yourself to come back tommorow when you would’nt have to deal with her. But you’re taken out of your thoughts as you feel someone grab your shoulder and spin you around.

- “Do you think it’s funny? To make fun of mental illness?” She said.

- There was a point in time when Karens words didnt offend you anymore, they just frustrated you because of how dumb and ignorant she sounded.

- “Karen, I have told you multiple times that I am a woman, I am not mentally ill, I am human. I get that it might be confusing for you but it’s not for me. I am happy the way I am okay?”

- “You’re the one that’s confused. You think you’re a girl but you’re a boy no matter what? That’s just how the human body works.” She shot back. At this point multiple eyes were already on you two. Some looked uncomftorable, others look confused and then there were a few that looked disgusted. Just a few people had the power to send Dysphoria crawling back into your mind.

- You started to hear fast footsteps before hearing “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY YOU BOOTLEG BARBIE BITCH?!”

- Oh hey bakugo (we’re gonna pretend him, Kiri and Shoto came along aight)

- “Bakugo, It is unacceptable to call a woman by such a deragatory term! Even though she was being rude to (Y/N) there are better ways to-“ Iida was cut off by Bakugo

- “SHUT THE HELL UP FOUR EYES!” Kiri then had to hold bakugo back while Todoroki and Uraraka steped in between you and Karen.

- “Don’t ever talk to our friend like that, she is more of a woman than you’ll ever be. I’d suggest that you walk away right now, our friend can only hold back Bakugo for so long.” Todoroki said

- Uraraka helped calm your nerves and whispered to you “Don’t listen to her, she’s just jealous because you can wear a dress better than her.”

- AIGHT, now the training camp.

- During the training camp, Tiger had not only helped you get stronger, but also helped scare away any Gender Dysphoria that remained inside your head.

- “Don’t ever let peoples harsh words get to you! You are doing this for yourself and that’s what matters!” He said

- When it was time to take a bath, you didn’t hesitate to get into the hot springs. The encouraging words Tiger gave you along with the constant support of your friends had made you feel safe and happy. You could’nt ask for better friends.

Bonus:

* IF YOU DO NOT PLAN ON HAVING SEX REASSIGNMENT SURGERY THEN YOU CAN IGNORE THIS PART

- One moment that stuck out was when momo dropped the question “Hey (Y/N), you dont have to awnser this but I was wondering, why have’nt you gone through Sex Reassignment Surgery? Are you not comftorble with it or...?”

- “Oh, I just dont have the money for it.” You responded

-Way way later on.

- your birthday was finally around the corner

- On the big day you woke up to your friends Uraraka and Midoriya at your door and they dragged you to the main room where the rest of the class along with Mr. Aizawa were.

- You noticed a large envelope on the coffe table and they looked at you before Hagakure urged you to open it.

- When you did you found two gifts, one was a shirt

- And the other was a smaller envelope with the words Class 1A written on the back. You opened the envelope and pulled out a card and opened it to which a small keychain fell out that said “trans woman are real woman” and if that wasn’t wholesome enough...

- You looked inside the card but before you could begin reading Aizawa interupted and asked you to read it outloud.

- “Dear (Y/N), words can not describe how wonderful you are, how brave, how strong, or how amazing of a person and classmate you are. We all love you! When you came out to us as a transwoman, we all immediently wanted to make sure you knew you were valid and loved. It’s come to our attention that you haven’t had sex reassignment surgery because you are unable to afford it. So we banded together and decided we would help pay for your surgery-“ you couldn’t finish as you were allready in tears and you looked at Aizawa and the rest of the class to confirm that they were not messing with you.

- “I’ve already talked with your parents all you have to do is set up an appointment and all that fun stuff.” Aizawa said.

- Your tears turned into water falls and your classmates all went to give you hugs and affection. You thanked each of them through your tears of joy and hiccups.

- Definitely a Birthday that would be remembered.

TUMBLR DESITED TO DELETE 65% OF THIS POST THAT I POURED MY HEART AND SOUL INTO 😭

#bnha #mha #bnha x reader headcanons #bnha x reader #bnha x you #class 1a #class 1a x reader #bnha x trans woman reader #boku no hero academia #boku no hero headcanons #my hero academia #my hero academia x reader

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #396

“every time i leave, you say you won’t be there, & you’re always there”

So, is it gif with a hard G or soft G? I used to say "jif," but now I pronounce it as "gif." If you use libraries, what is the largest overdue fine you’ve ever had? *shrug* Do you ever borrow things other than books from the library? I remember back in the day, they used to offer educational computer games, and I bought a dinosaur one as a kid that I was madly obsessed with. Are there still any movie rental places left where you live? Just Redbox things outside of some stores. Do you ever buy secondhand books (or DVDs, video games, CDs)? Yeah; Ebay is my friend. Or do you prefer them to be brand new? I mean yeah, but it's not a massive deal to me so long the thing is operational or not falling apart. Do you ever write fanfic? Of what? Nah. Do you ever READ fanfic? Of what? Also nah. Do you have a favorite classical composer? No. Have you ever had multicolored/rainbow hair? No, but I would LOVE to. What kind of hats, if any, do you like to wear? I don't wear hats. What is your #1 deal-breaker with friendships? If you're manipulative, byyyyyeeeee~ Who is your favorite character on Bob’s Burgers and why? (If you watch it) I've seen some episodes, but I don't actually watch it. Have you ever had a retro celebrity crush? Like a crush on an “old” celebrity who was most famous a long time ago or is long dead? Audrey Hepburn, for one, is drop-dead GORGEOUS. When you buy/receive new clothes, do you instantly wear them or wash first? It depends on what I bought and where it's from. What’s the weirdest item you’ve seen for sale on Ebay? Idk. Are parents to blame for what their kids do on the Internet? No; kids make their own choices. I do, however, believe the parents should monitor what they do until they reach a certain degree of maturity, as well as the child's history with what they've done on the Internet. Do you use acronyms to remember things? Sometimes. Do you take pills like Tylenol for the littlest aches and pains? No. Only if I'm really in pain will I take Ibuprofen/Advil. Don’t you think Crocs are ugly? Big time. I don't know why they're in vogue now when they used to be so widely hated. When was the last time you went roller skating? Oh, it's been years. Who was your favorite Ninja Turtle? I was never into the franchise. Horror flicks make you: laugh, scream, or squirm? I prefer the ones that make you uneasy. I'm not a big fan of the nasty ones, and I want to feel on edge when I'm watching a horror film, but it's EXTREMELY rare I become legitimately scared. If you could become a doctor, what would you specialize in? Uhhhh. Maybe genetic disorders. What’s the cutest thing a little kid has ever said to/in front of you? I'm sure it was something my niece or nephew said, but I'm unsure of what. They've said many adorable things. Did any characters from TV shows scare you as a kid? Which one(s)? FUCKING KING RAMSES FROM COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG. FUCK he gave me nightmares. What’s the saddest thing you’ve heard on the news recently? I was very saddened to hear about the giraffe that died giving birth. Do you believe that acupuncture works? I'm not educated enough on this subject. Have you ever been hypnotized? No, and I don't believe it's possible to be. What’s the first food you can smell when you enter the mall? The soft pretzels, omg. That little stand is my favorite part of our local mall. They make DELICIOUS pretzels. What is the worst hurt you’ve ever experienced? Jason leaving. Are huge muscles gross or sexy? Like serious body builders, it's gross to me. I prefer a natural musculature. Have you ever fished and caught something weird? I know I have, but what isn't coming to mind. Do you use an umbrella when it rains? Unless it is absolutely pouring, no. Do you like getting caught in the rain? No. What is the hardest part of cleaning for you? It requires physical exertion and I am INCREDIBLY weak with non-existent stamina. Do you have any fake flowers in your room? No. Do you own any succulents? No. What is your favorite thing about spring? The only thing I like about spring are all the flowers. What is something you find hard to draw? HANDS. UGH. Was it sunny for your senior prom pictures? Sigh. It was a beautiful sunset. I REALLY wish I didn't delete all those pictures from existence. Have you ever seen a double rainbow? I've seen like, a triple rainbow. What’s one thing you want to learn how to make? Your ordinary meals. I really want to be able to cook my own food from scratch. Do you have stomach issues? Maybe TMI, but it's been questioned but not fully examined that I may have IBS. My stomach is very sensitive. When was the last time you apologized and didn’t mean it? I'm not sure. Do you prefer to be the “talker” or the “listener” in a conversation? The listener. What’s a movie that you think everyone should see? Johnny Got His Gun. If you could have any hair color, what color would you want? Either pastel pink or light creamsicle orange. When was the last time you saw your “first love”? February of 2017. Who’s the smartest person you know personally? My best guy friend Girt. What makes them so smart? He's just very intelligent. Book-smart. Are there any bands/artists that get you all emotional? Ozzy. He and his music are so important to me. What’s your favourite aunt or uncle’s first name? Robert. Have you ever done a first aid course? No. What time do you generally wake up in the morning? It varies from like, 6:00-8:30ish. If you could have one superpower, what would it be? Definitely shapeshifting. I'd love to be a druid, man. Do you ever make surveys? If so, are they long or short? No, but I combine them because I don't like surveys that are too short by my standards. When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? Honestly, probably never. I love my current hairstyle, but I most certainly plan on dyeing it maaaany more times. As a child, what was your favorite game to play? I was hooked on the first three Spyro games. I would play 'em over and over. Do any of your siblings have significant others? Do you like them? My older sister is married, and I am NOT a fan of her husband. He's WAY too conservative and bigoted and racist and misogynistic, etc. etc. He's wonderful as a dad, like holy shit he loves his kids, but his beliefs are abhorrent. Dad's daughter is also married, and her husband is awesome. Mom's eldest daughter is also married, and her husband seems cool. My brother has a fiancee that I've never met. Do you believe in the concept of global warming? No fucking shit I do. It's impossible to logically deny, especially as the years go on. When was the last time you took a picture of something? Was it yourself? I took some pictures of this beautiful hydrangea bush outside the TMS office a few days ago. When drinking soda, do you prefer bottles or cans or poured in a glass? Cans, because it stays colder. Do you wear deodorant? Um, yes? If you had a pet pig, what would you name it? Probably something very unoriginal, like Wilbur. Do you like Led Zeppelin? I LOVE "Kashmir." "Stairway to Heaven" was madly important to me, but yeah... I can't listen to it anymore. Like seriously, I haven't in years. Do you like hugs? I do. Have you read the Constitution of the United States of America? Only the Bill of Rights for school. Do you have your own computer or use a family one? I have my own laptop. Do you take out the trash? Sometimes. Is there a calendar in the room you’re in? Outdated meerkat ones. What is your best friend’s name? Sara Jane. :') Have you ever seen a real-life cop chase? Maybe? What is your favorite shape? Circles. Are pigs adorable or dirty? They're precious! And pigs are actually a lot cleaner than people think, if they're not muddy. Anything moldy in your house? Not to my knowledge. Our old house had a serious mold problem, though, which is the primary reason we had to move. Especially with Mom having cancer at the time, she needed to be in the most sterile environment possible. Have you ever been in an earthquake? No. Do you enjoy history? No. Are you watching TV right now? No, but rather GameGrumps on YT. Could you ever be a mortician? True shit, it actually doesn't seem THAT bad. Can you solve a Rubik’s cube? Never seriously tried. How many pets do you have? Just two right now. Are you more close with your mom or dad? My mom. Who is the person that has impacted your life the most? Jason. Or Mom. Have you ever had a pet fish? Yeah. Poor things, they had terrible husbandry. I've learned a hell of a lot from a YouTuber/streamer that is like obsessed with fish about just how misinformed people are on how to take care of various fish. Your goldfish in that little bowl died for a reason, you know. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Do you prefer tea or coffee? Both suck. Have you ever vaped? No. How did your parents meet? They were co-workers. What was your first word? "Dada." Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? ... I mighta lmao. When was the last time you had Nutella? A long time ago. It reeeeaaaally needs to stay out of my house, because I will eat it straight out of the jar. Name someone with a sexy sounding voice. So I don't know where this was, but Mark was once credited in something as "if chocolate had a voice" and I was like YOU FUCKIN BET YOUR SWEET ASS.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''jet city woman'' by queensryche

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godblessthecactusess · 5 years ago

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hello and welcome to a reaction post of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. s7 ep...9?

(Warning I might have sworn a lot whoops)

This was such a good episode jeez

As I Have Always Been:

- Couldn’t imagine sleeping in a chamber like that omg chlostrophobia

- SOUSA STAYED ASLEEP NEXT TO HER

- what the heck did Sousa just say

- very marvelly time thing (like it fits the marvel aesthetic nicely)

- honestly babes same (edit: I cannot remember what line this was for?)

- “bugsy”

- BLINDED BY THE LIGHT

- “I’m fine” the heck you are

- time drive is buffering guess it runs on virgin media

- did they just die

- I guess they did huh

- “21st century slang for its working normally” got it

- she’s so SCARED and honestly I would be too

- this is so exciting omg

- notice on rewatch: they did the title card twice, clever

- “oh well that’s fun”

- Simmons is so fucking done

- and here we go again

- it’s like a horrible nightmare

- “i dIeD!!”

- I love Clark Gregg, Coulson is going crazy and is hysterical and I love the way he’s acting it, it’s funny

- jEsUs this is giving me so much stress

- sassy exasperated Coulson is (one of) the best Coulsons

- 10 minutes in and my brain is fried

- I feel like she’s gonna remember something really bad

- she’s dying

- shit

- Dekey baby nO don’t be so sad

- “what a pain in the ass”

- did Coulson do it

- IS THERE A STOWAWAY

- oh look we decided to bring Sousa back in

- she don’t remember what

- IS FITZ ON THE ZEPHYR

- was it may?!!

- THAT LOOK DEKE AND ENOCH OMG

- smart move Mack nice

- “son of a bI-“

- I love Sousa

- WAIT NO

- WTF

- HAPPENED

- I think it’s Coulson

- Maybe he just doesn’t realise it

- This ep is really Coulson and Daisy centered and it reminds me of the good old days

- eNoCh?!

- gasp

- Enoch and his friends I love it

- bloody hell

- I kinda hoped it would be Fitz tbh

- did she just kill Enoch

- nope

- “oh dear” WHAT A MOOD

- how many times do you reckon Chloe hit her head on that thing getting out

- I LOVE SOUSA HOLY SHIT

- “sorry”

- I WANNA KNOW WHAT THEY TOLD HIM WHAT WAS THE IRONY

- this is fucking mental wow

- LOOK AT THEM ALL WITH THEIR SCARY FACES

- notice on rewatch: “deke’s very dead” “very” “do we need to be sad about that?” “we do not” these guys are so FUCKING DONE with This Bullshit (TM)

- how the hell are we going to get to the end of this episode huh

- I have mixed feelings about daisysous and I hate it like I would die for peggysous but the writers are making it really hard to not love daisysous

- JUST KISS HOLY SHIT

- sorry self control

- holy shit this is incredible

- DONT STOP FOR CONVERSATION DAISY

- FUCK THEY DID IT I WASNT READY I SQUEAKED

- oh for fucks sake is nothing ever easy

- IS FITZ DEAD WTF

- what hAs she done?!

- dramatic slightly melancholy music

- Enoch my baby I don’t want him to go but I feel like he won’t hesitate to save the team

- talk faster daisy jeez

- what did I fucking tell you

- he won’t hesitate bitch

- deke just looks so amazed that someone would do something like that

- oh no Enoch

- why does it look like an arc reactor

- Joel Stoffer is so good

- “I am feeling, as you might expect, some anxiety now” me before my exams next year

- Getting philosophical about death and imma cry

- or should I say PHIL-osophical

- I’m sorry it’s the wrong time I’ll use that joke another time

- the team won’t survive?

- someone’s gonna get left behind in the past (i.e. they’ll survive but it’ll split the team)

- I have this feeling it’ll be daisy and daniel and they’ll stay in the past and have beautiful babies

- OR what if Daniel gets left behind and he finds Peggy and they live happily ever after like I always wANTED

- but even if that happened something’s still going to happen to the rest of the team

- tears in my fucking eyes

- AS I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN IT MAKES SENSE FUCK

- THE CUPS LIKE DAISY

- nice parallel lads

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coolcoolkerberos · 5 years ago

Text

Rating Side’s Playlists: Janus

Aka I say Vibes 30 times, these aren’t in order

- Come Little Children by Erutan

Disney villain vibes

Evil motherly song, guiding through the dark

“It must be this way” MY FUCKING FEELINGS

Haunting, I love it

7/10, get’s kinda repetitive

- You’re a Cad by the bird and a bee

Oh boy I’ve been hearing this one is about Virgil

First lyric screams “betrayal”

JAZZ VIBES YESSSSSS

A sort of ‘they’ll see through your lies’

“I should be better, but I’m worse” JANUS MISSES VIRGIL MY HEART

“You’re reckless with my heart, still I wait by the fire, I won’t ever get smart”

10/10 I added it to my playlist

- Denial by the Vaccines

Oooo dark vibes

“I know the world is in your hands” Janus calling out someone’s power?

“Please do my turn the light out, oh I don’t think the conversations over” Major SvS Redux vibes

Chill beats

The song is like someone speaking from your head and saying you’re denying your head from information

“I know where you want to go, oh I do, but do you?”

9/10, meaningful

- Mandy Goes To Med School by the Dresden Dolls

OOOOO MORE JAZZ VIBES

I love the piano in this song

I don’t even know what this song is about, I just think it’s neat

Her voice gets a bit annoying but then it gets good

“I’ve been dying to find out the hard way” idk but this lyric SLAPS

“I’ll burn that bridge when I get to it” (KILLER PIANO ENTERS)

8/10 to my playlist thing song goes

- Razzle Dazzle from Chicago

I’ve never listened to Chicago so here we go

Janus loves Jazz TM

“How can they see with sequence in their eyes?” ooooo

“Razzle Dazzle them and they’ll beg ya for more”

why does this seem like Janus telling Virgil he’s tricking everyone else with a friendly disguise?

I’m pretty sure this song is about prostitution

I know this song is supposed to be about disguising bland things with stupid amounts of show, but it gives off the vibe Janus is horny

6/10 just because I thought the song was SUPER repetitive

- Into the Unknown by the Blasting Company

I see over the garden wall (but I never watched it)

Same vibes as Come Little Children

“All that is lost is revealed” OOOO

Singer has rich voice I love it

7/10 I wanted more

- Don’t Tell Mama from Cabaret

Why do I get poor unfortunate souls vibes?

Song about lying about where you are (What Janus thinks Virgil is thinking?)

“I'm breaking every promise that I gave her, so won't you kindly do a girl a great big favor?” Major betrayal vibes

Lying to eachother is a big theme in this song

9/10 TO MY PLAYLIST YOU GO

- It Seemed The Better Way by Leonard Cohen

Again: evil vibes

DEEP VOICES

“Sounded like the truth, seemed the better way. Sounded like tha truth, but it’s not the truth today.” DAMN

This is more on the lying side of Janus

Violins are GOD TIER

7/10 I love the OoooOOOoooo-ing

- Talking at the Same Time by Tom Waits

Jazz Boys Assemble

Subtle trumpets, good beat

Again: MAJOR SvS REDUX VIBES

Kind of silent drunk ranting vibes

“You got to build your nest high enough to ride out the flood”

8/10 voice is annoying at points but it works well

- Anywhere by the Scarring Party

MORE JAZZ!!!! (Kind of Hadestown vibes)

I can’t understand the singer but it’s fun

Lots of dramas and flair

5/10 I couldn’t understand, but the music slapped

- Change by Lana Del Rey

I’ve never listened to a single Lana Del Rey song so this will be fun

Angst-y

“I’ve been thinking it’s just someone else’s job to care, but who am I? To try?” JANUS STOP BREAKING MY HEART

“Change is a powerful thing, I feel a coming in me.”

Janus would most likely try learning this song on piano

ABSOLUTELY HEARTBREAKING HOLY SHIT

9/10 Haunting, and I love it

- As Far as I Can See by Phantogram

Jazz/Techo? Hell yeah.

I really can’t tell if my phone is glitching of if it’s this song

“As far as I can see, nobody loves me. As far as I can tell, nobody loves you either.” OOP

“As far as I can see, nobody’s listening. As far as I can tell, nobody’s listening to me” SvS VIBES

7/10 confusing but catchy

- I Put a Spell On You by Nina Simone

afsgafafsha JANUS IS A HOCAS POCUS FAN

Jazz Vibes, I love her voice

“You know I can’t stand it, you’re running around” VIRGIL ANGST

6/10 I NEED MORE

- All the Good Girls Go to Hell by Billie Ellish

Fun Fact: I thought Billie was a male white 33 year old country singer until I heard this song a couple of months ago

“Once you get inside em, got friends but can’t invite em.” JANUS AND REMUS BEING CAST AWAY BY EVERY OTHER SIDE

“When the water starts to rise, and heaven’s out of sight, she’ll want the devil on her team” SvS REDUX VIBESSSSSS

“You’re cover up, is caving in, man is such a fool why are we saving him? Poisioning themselves now. Begging for our help? Wow.” I JUST ASDFGHJKL

10/10 I love this song for Janus, and I just love this song in general

- Evil Night Together by Jill Tracy

Man Janus just loves those jazz songs

Evil voices? We love it

“Let sway away the hours, let’s spend an evil night together” Janus, I just- I- why is he horny

“Who’s gonna make you a hero? Who’s gonna blow you away?” BETRAYAL VIBES

I just LOVE HOW THE MUSIC BUILDS TENSION

7/10 gets repetitive at the end, but I love this song

- Bladk Hole Sun from Scott Brandlee’s Post Modern Jukebox

Oooo is this jazz or classical

It’s jazz

Her voice is so beautiful

“Black Hole Sun, won’t you come, and wash away the rain?”

More major keys then other songs

INSTRAMENTAL SLAPS

10/10 I have no criticisms

- When the Chips are Down from Hadestown

Asdfashdhahesksksk I KNEW HADESTOWN WOULD BE HERE

Very different from the broadway version in voices, but I think it works for Janus

PIANO BREAK (jams)

“Aim for the heart, shoot to kill, if you don’t do it then the other one will” VIRGIL

“The first shall be first, and the last shall be last. Cast your eyes to heaven: you get a knife in the BACK”

8/10 I love this song but the voices don’t do it for me

- Devil in the Details by Bright Eyes

The voice? SLAPS

“Now you have your cake, don’t hesitate. Come on just do it.”

“There’s no backing out. This is gonna be reality, you can never dream it down.” DAMN

The strings? SLAPS

Angst TM

The guitar? SLAPS

“If there’s still time to turn around, I’m going too” SvS REDUX!!! VIBES!!!

Another 10/10

- Criminal by Fiona Apple

Evil jazzzzzzzz

“When a girl will break a boy just because she can”

Her voice is amazing, and it works well with the tone

“I got a lot to loose, and I’m betting high, so I’m begging you.” SvS vibes!!! (Not redux tho)

I really think Thomas, Joan, and Tayln knew what the fuck they were doing with this song and causing chaos with the Janus and Virgil shippers (yes they exist)

7/10 the ending wanted to be a fade out but it didn’t really work

- Trust in Me from the Jungle Book

Oh Jesus

Ooo opening just BURSTS through the door

Scarlett Johansson didn’t have to go this smooth but she did and I love her for it

MORE EVIL JAZZ

I like this take on the song, gives it more evil mom energy

10/10 I just- amazing

And that’s the end, Janus’ playlist overall is a 8/10

#sanderssides #deciet sanders #janus sanders #janus sanders sides #deciet sanders sides #janus’ playlist #SvS #svs part two

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mamashitty · 6 years ago

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zimbits and 23? 💛💛

Title: “Just tell me why you did it!”Fandom: Check, Please!Word Count: 2,926Ship: ZimbitsFind it on my AO3 & pillowfort!Blurb: Eric has a boyfriend and Jack? He is fine with that. Totally and completely and absolutely fiiiineeee. Hey, stop looking at him like that. This takes place in an AU where the Graduation Kiss(TM?) never happened. Jack is in his second season with the Falconers and Bitty is in his senior year at Samwell and, of course, Captain of the hockey team. The prompt was: “Just tell me why you did it!” “Because I’m in love with you, okay!”I did change the punctuation a bit with the first half because it just fit better for the tone. I hope y’all enjoy!

Eric had a boyfriend.

And Jack? Jack was okay with that. He was even happy for his friend. Because that was what he and Bittle were, friends. And next to Shitty, Bittle was probably Jack’s best friend. Their relati—err… friendship might have started off a little rocky and Jack knew now with the aid of hindsight that it had all been on him, that rockiness, but they had grown past that. He wished, sometimes, that he could pinpoint the exact moment they became something like friends and not just teammates who barely spoke. He wished sometimes, that he could mark that day on a calendar, and just celebrate it by remembering. But, it had been a thing that had grown gradually, and that itself was special, Jack knew.

Their friendship was special, special enough that Jack could and would ignore that strange feeling he felt in his stomach at the fact Bittle had a boyfriend. He could also handle Bittle and that boyfriend (Doug. The boyfriend’s name was Doug (but honestly, what kind of name was Doug?)) staying the night at his place. Because that was precisely what he and Bittle were discussing right now.

“Lardo can’t make it to the game,” Jack was saying, as he attempted to get comfortable on his couch, only to give up and stand up to begin pacing around his apartment. Talking about Bittle and Doug, gave Jack a nervous kind of energy. “You and Doug can stay in my guest room and Shitty will likely end up in my bed.” Because without a warm body to cuddle, he knew where Shitty would end up.

“Or he might end up in bed with me and Doug,” Bittle said, with his honeyed laughter.

“Euh, I’ll make sure he ends up in my bed, just for you, Bud,” Jack said, even while a mental image of Shitty spooning the mysterious Doug and ruining whatever private moments could be shared between Bitty and Doug danced in his head. He did feel guilty about that thought, honest and he knew he would be dragging Shitty to his own room in order to prevent what he had just pictured from happening. Because Bittle was his friend and that was what friends do.

“Ain’t you just a sweetie pie, Jack. Thank you,” Bitty said, all soft and sweet and why did his voice make Jack just melt?

A friend’s voice probably should not do that.

“JACKABELLE, BRING THAT BEAUTEOUS ASS OVER HERE!” Shitty exclaimed loudly, his arms wide and expectant.

Jack, laughter bubbling out of lips, closed the gap between him and Shitty. He all but melted into the embrace, hugging him back tighter than was probably warranted. He missed this, hugs and being held. Living on his own, Jack was sometimes acutely aware of how touch starved he could be. He missed waking up in the middle of the night to an armful of Shitty. He missed the constant noises of the Haus. It had been two years, and he thought that he might have begun to miss it the place and the people a little less—but, no. With an armful of Shitty, he realized, how much he desperately missed it all.

“Jack,” and there behind Shitty was Bitty. Jack let his gaze linger on his friend.

“Bits,” Jack said as he disentangled himself from Shitty’s grasp. Then Bitty was launching at him, and Jack scooped him up in a hug.

“That was a great game you played,” Bitty said, his voice slightly muffled. Jack smiled, bigger than he had in days, before letting Bitty down. Suddenly, all too aware of another guy standing back, hovering awkwardly near Shitty. It dawned on Jack that that man was probably Doug.

Objectively, Doug was attractive. Tall with dark hair and light eyes. He looked like he worked out but not as much as say, a professional athlete or collegiate athlete might. He was wearing a Falconers’ shirt and Jack supposed he should appreciate the support. He also supposed that he should let go of Bittle, eh? So he did, and Bitty, laughing a little breathlessly, moved away from Jack to grab a hold of one of Doug’s arms, and tug him gently forward.

“Jack, this is Doug. Doug, this is Jack.”

Jack reached out his hand and shook Doug’s. Doug had a decent grip, Jack supposed.

“Nice to meet you, Doug.” Jack said, and then, “want to meet the rest of the guys?”

Doug looked absolutely terrified of the prospect and Jack maybe felt a little too happy about that.

—

“How are you feeling, brah?” Shitty asked as he rolled onto his side to look at Jack. Jack, he was laying on his back and staring up at his ceiling, willing his ears not to pick up any stray noises from the guest bedroom next door. Shitty was speaking at a low volume, and Jack raised an eyebrow before turning his head to look more fully at his friend. Concern was etched on Shits’ face and Jack frowned.

“I am feeling great, Shits. I played a good game of hockey and I have my best friends here to celebrate.” Jack said, deflecting even if he was not quite certain just what he was deflecting.

“Even if one of your best friends is totally spooning another dude in the room next door?” Shitty asked, and Jack rolled his eyes. He appreciated Shitty’s concern, he did. He just did not want it right now. He was not ready to talk about… that. And what that did with his heart.

“Plenty of my friends spoon other dudes, Shits. Some even fork them.” Jack deadpanned.

Shitty guffawed and punched him lightly in the arm. Jack retaliated by thwacking him across the face with his pillow. A wrestling match ensued, and soon both men were out of breath and laughing. Jack, smiling so big that his face hurt. He was happy, really. Even if there was the slightest of pangs in his heart when he did hear some muffled noises from the room next door.

“Jacko, I’ll be big spoon tonight,” Shitty said, opening his arms and Jack rolled into them. “And if you decide you are ready to talk, I’m here for you.” Shits added, barely above a whisper.

“Thanks, Shitty,” Jack said replied, just as quiet, like if they both spoke quiet enough everything could just stay unsaid even longer. Jack knew that eventually, he would have to talk to someone but for tonight, he was prepared to ignore whatever feelings were trying to wriggle their way to the forefront.

—

“Jack?”

The voice on the other end of the line was unfamiliar. Just as unfamiliar as the number. Jack had regretted answering the phone as soon as he had, his mind not really focused on what was going on. He was exhausted from a roadie and just wanted to sleep in his bed, but he had to shower still and eat something before then.

“Yes, who is this?” Jack grunted, knowing that maybe he ought to be friendlier.

“Oh! Um, Doug. Bitty’s boyfriend?” He said the last bit like a question like he was not sure he actually he was Bittle’s boyfriend. Jack rolled his eyes and then felt distinctly unkind for that action even though Doug could not see it.

“Hi, Doug,” Jack said, trying to keep his impatience out of his voice. “Did you need anything?”

“Yeah! So, Bitty and I are coming up on our six month anniversary…” and Jack knew all about that. He and Bittle had just had a conversation about that. Bitty all lovesick and Jack too, he had realized. It had hit him hard and he had finally given names to the emotions swirling within him as he heard Bittle talk, on and on, about his relationship. Jealousy and hurt and disappointment. Dash of happiness too, because even if Jack was hurting, Bittle was not. Bittle was happy and that made Jack happy—which made him realize that he probably loved Eric. And… well, at least Shitty had been able to answer his phone call right away.

Jack tried to focus on what Doug was prattling on and on about.

“So, do you think you can help me out, Jack? I know it is a lot to ask.”

What? Help out with what? Jack stared at his wall like a deer caught in headlights. “Euh… sure, but let’s go over that plan one more time, eh?” Jack stammered, and Doug was silent for a moment before he let out a breath of relief and once again began to prattle—Jack for his part, forced himself to listen and did his best to ignore the crumbling of his heart. Shitty would definitely be getting another phone call tonight.

—

It was a couple of weeks later and Jack was lounging on his bed, a rare Friday night off with no travel or games. He had had the sudden urge to hop into his truck and drive to Samwell, but he had fought that urge. The boys did not have a game going on either, and nothing going on for Saturday morning, that it was really good a kegster was being thrown at the Haus. Jack was not sure he had it in him to deal with the crowds at the party without Shitty, and Shitty was drowning in school work at Harvard. He was reaching for a book when his phone rang, and he knew it was Bitty.

Jack answered immediately, feeling concerned.

“Bits?” He asked as he answered.

“Jack,” Bitty breathed, and Jack heard rustling on the other end. He pictured Bitty laying in his own bed, and he willed his imagination to not supply Bitty in those short shorts he tended to sleep in.

“What’s up? I’m surprised you aren’t having a party tonight,” Jack said, surprised but happy he added to himself.

“Oh, the boys are throwing one. I’m just not in a partying mood, and I can’t bake in the kitchen because the Haus is full,” Bitty explained.

“Bits, what’s wrong?” Jack asked, definitely concerned now.

“I think I need to break up with Doug,” Bitty said, after a moment or two of silence. Jack was not certain he had heard Bittle correctly.

“What? Last week you were telling me that you thought you might-…” Jack did not want to say those next words out loud, so he changed track. “What happened? What did Doug do?” Because if Doug hurt Bittle… well, Jack was not entirely certain what he would do. He would be there to pick up the pieces, that much he knew, but he felt anger boiling in him that he tried to tamper down. He had to get the story first.

“Oh, honey. Doug did nothing. He’s as sweet as ever. I think he’s planning something really special for our six months… and, oh Lord I’m a monster.” Bitty said, and Jack could hear the quiver in his voice like he was fighting back tears. Jack also knew all about Doug’s plans for the six month anniversary. He was supposed to be helping Doug pull off the surprise. Jack latched, instead, on the monster part.

“Bitty, you aren’t a monster…” Jack protested.

Bitty laughed and it was bitter. A sound that Jack was not used to coming from Bitty, and it struck something in him. It made his heartache, hearing that. “Bits…”

“Jack, I lied. I lied about how much I like Doug. He’s a sweet boy, but… I’m lying. I don’t—I can’t—…” Bittle trailed off, and Jack felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. It felt like they were on the edge of something. He needed to know why Bitty would lie about that to himself, to Jack, and he supposed even to Doug, though that was more of an afterthought than anything.

“Just tell me why you did it,” Jack said, quietly. Maybe too quiet because he was unsure if Bitty had actually heard the question or not. Finally, though, he heard an intake of breath from the other line.

“Because I’m in love with you, okay! And… and I know you’ll never—… fuck. Doug, did you hear all of that?”

On the other line, Jack can hear another voice now. Then suddenly, the line was dead. Jack stared at the phone in his hand for a moment. Bitty’s words replaying, over and over in his head. They had been said with such sadness and certainty. Especially the never part that Bittle did not get to finish before being interrupted. Jack was on his feet and off the bed before he gave much thought to it

—

It had begun to rain about halfway to the Haus, but Jack continued to drive. It hardly registered when he parked the car a few blocks away. He had the foresight to grab a hat to pull low over his eyes, and a light jacket that he always left in his car was pulled on before he stepped out of the car and headed to the Haus at a jog. The kegster was still going on when he approached it, music thrumming loudly. He entered the Haus and was grateful when no one paid him any mind. He kept his head low, and went towards the kitchen first—but there was no Bittle.

He reached in his pocket for his phone, only to realize he must have left it back at home. Jack’s gaze went up towards the ceiling, and he left the kitchen, careful not to bump into anyone. He did not have a plan, really. He just knew that he had needed to see Bitty after that confession. That… Bitty… he loved… and Jack. Jack needed to see Bitty, and so he had driven all the way from Providence to do that. And.. then what? Jack tried to shut his thoughts off as he went up the stairs and approached Bitty’s closed door.

He stared at the door for a full minute. Then he knocked.

“M’not in the mood for company,” came Btty’s muffled voice and Jack felt his heart crumble. Instinctively, he went to open the door but found it locked. He wondered if Bitty had heard that or not, so he knocked once more on the door.

“Lord, leave me alone, please.” Bitty pleaded.

“Bits… It’s me…” Jack called, a little louder than he would have liked but he wanted to make sure Bittle heard him. He heard movement on the other side of the door and suddenly, there was Bitty, just standing there. His eyes were red-rimmed from crying, his cheeks puffy and wet. Jack was dimly aware of the rumpled Samwell Men’s Hockey shirt he was wearing and the pajama pants. His gaze mostly focused on Bittle’s face. Absolutely beautiful and broken looking with the tears.

“Jack…”

“Because I’m in love with you, okay?” Jack said, repeating what Bittle had said over the phone less than an hour before. Bitty opened his mouth to say something, his face etched with confusion. Jack, not much for words but getting better all the time with them thanks to Shitty, his psychiatrist, and Bittle himself, decided to let his body do the talking. He stepped into Bittle’s room and reached out to gently cup his face, before leaning down to kiss him.

He felt Bitty tense and Jack tensed himself until suddenly, Bittle was kissing him back.

—

Jack was mindlessly tracing shapes with his finger, up and down Bitty’s back. Bitty’s head was on Jack’s chest, and there was a comfort to the weight of Bitty on him. Jack sighed, content and Bitty craned his head up, tilting until he could press a chaste kiss to Jack’s chin. Jack smiled.

“I feel so bad about Doug,” Bitty spoke up, quiet. Jack instinctively tightened his grip on Bitty.

“He is going to be okay, Bud,” Jack said, and he wondered if he ought to feel more guilty than he did, with how everything seemed to be playing out. Except, he was far too content holding Bitty right now. He mostly disliked the fact that Bitty felt bad and guilty.

“I should not have dated him as long as I did,” Bitty continued. “I just kept hoping that eventually… those feelings I was faking for him, would turn true, you know? That eventually I would be able to get over you. But lord was I wrong and foolish. The longer I was with him… well, nothing worked. I kept wishing harder he was you.” Bitty finished, and he hid his face against Jack’s neck and Jack shivered at feeling Bitty’s breath there.

“I kept wishing I was him too,” Jack said, quietly.

And he had wished that he were in Doug’s position hundreds of times over the past few months. Bitty looked up at him, an eyebrow raised.

“Doug said you were helping with his plans for our anniversary,” Bitty said, his voice neutral to Jack’s ears.

“I was going to help,” Jack began, bringing his hand up to play with Bitty’s hair. “I figured… if I couldn’t be with you then… euh I wanted to—..” Jack paused, trying to collect his thoughts. “If Doug made you happy then I wanted to help him make you happy.”

“Oh Jack,” Bitty said, quiet and sweet. Then they were kissing again, and well… Jack could get used to that. He knew they had a lot more to discuss but for now, he would enjoy their pockets of conversation and kisses between those.

#omgcp #zimbits #eric bittle #jack zimmermann #shitty knight #omgcp fic #a.shitty writes #a.shitty fics #a.shitty fills a prompt

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eponymous-rose · 6 years ago

Text

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E72

Don’t forget: this week’s episode of Critical Role will air on Friday, August 2nd (instead of Thursday) at 5 PM Pacific---that’s two hours earlier than usual!

Tonight’s guests are Taliesin Jaffe and Travis Willingham!

Announcements: Taliesin’s Call of Cthulhu one-shot is available right now on Twitch and will be on YouTube tomorrow morning! The third season of Between the Sheets will debut with Amanda Palmer’s episode on Monday, August 5th at 7PM Pacific, and will air monthly from then on! Congrats to Chris (TM and CR audio engineer) on his engagement!

Episode 72: Clay and Dust

Stats for this week’s episode: Caduceus has cast Commune three times. Fjord has dealt 48 damage to himself, 28 of which happened in this episode. The last spell Fjord cast from his pact with Uk’otoa (Uk’otoa) was Minor Illusion to show Jester an image of Vandran, and the last time Fjord cast Scorching Ray was episode 10.

The check-in with Vandran was “the first domino in that whole thing”. Travis emphasizes that this was definitely not the plan, but that the conversation with Vandran and seeing Jester’s confidence helped pave the way.

Taliesin has been really pleased with the effect Caduceus has had on the group. “Not heroes, exactly, but definitely something. Good anti-heroes.”

Taliesin was quite pleased with what Caduceus found with the Dusts, although he’s wary of a build-up to some sort of disappointment with the Stones. “Matt took what I gave him and definitely built it up very nicely, and hit a few things I was hoping he would hit.” Brian: “We’re talking about the game, right?”

Would Fjord have really sacrificed himself to get free of Uk’otoa? “No. He was bluffing. He was totally bluffing." It was an attempt to turn the hostage situation around. “He wants to live. He definitely wants to live, very much so.” If he hadn’t been surrounded by all this recent stuff from Caduceus and Jester, he “probably would have left”. Taliesin: “When the Old Ones start gaslighting you, man...”

Caduceus was “really hoping” that the rest of his family would be there. “He’s not big on hope. It’s not really where his spiritual energy comes from. He’s not a hopeful person, he’s a faithful person. It’s rare for him to have a desire, in that sense, so the disappointment was definitely there.” Expanding on the “not hopeful” thing: “If something’s difficult, it’s meant to be difficult. If something’s easy, it’s meant to be easy.” This is also the longest he’s been without his family: “The company is helping. A lot.”

Travis started realizing that he didn’t really know why Fjord was still keeping up the guise. “If you’re really going to be with these people, who the fuck are you lying to?” There’s a sense of building, world-altering plots brewing. On all the dramatic moves recently: “It was a natural evolution, and just time for a change.”

Taliesin got a message from Ashly at Comic Con when she was next to a Mollymauk cosplayer on the train. “Have they noticed you? ‘They have not IDed me as the murderer yet.’“

Caduceus is coping with being away from his family in part because of the company he’s keeping---“There’s nothing more calming than other people’s problems.”---and especially after nearly dying, he’s tripling down on the notion of being on a mission from the Wildmother, and “realizing that if all this gets taken care of, everything goes back to normal. There’s no other way to get to normality than to keep pushing forward.”

Cosplay of the Week: Caleb! (on Twitter: ivoreivet, photo by pearlbaecosplay).

Taliesin was impressed with and surprised by Fjord destroying his pact weapon. “Percy’s going like, ‘No, you’re going to need that later!’” Travis was thinking the same thing.

Travis on having Fjord decide to wake up Caduceus: “I was standing there bleeding, the break-up was done, and I really needed to talk to him” because the Wildmother was the only deity that had shown an interest. He apologized to Caleb and Jester, Caleb because he’d called him out on it earlier, Jester because they’d talked about a way forward and then he’d just made the decision. “I meant what I said in the game. Caduceus is very inspiring. He doesn’t know how things are going to go, but he has faith. I think I want to learn how to try to do that.” For Caduceus, hearing Fjord say that was more proof that he’s been on the right path.

Taliesin points out that Nature as a deity’s domain has a whole lot of options. “It’s not like there’s going to be a lot of overlap” between Caduceus and Fjord’s approaches moving forward. Travis mentions that Fjord’s never been comfortable leading and is looking forward to being able to learn from Caduceus “and just go, learn, watch-- oh god, those were all Uk’otoa words.” Fjord’s not sure if the Wildmother is going to be as involved/interested now that the main threat has been neutralized.

Taliesin on Summer’s Dance getting destroyed: “Molly would’ve given no fucks about the sword. None.” Fjord sees it as emblematic of a new start, which he thinks Molly would’ve appreciated.

Caduceus felt that Fjord’s accent-dropping was unimportant. “You’re going to pour out a lot of things that you think were important, and that’s fine. None of this is interesting.” Caduceus actually didn’t know beforehand that it was an act; just that Fjord was “in a bad relationship. It was all going to come pouring out at some point.”

Fan Art of the Week: Fjord, Caduceus, and the Wildmother! (on Twitter: leiaboeke).

Before this episode, the accent-dropping was “in moments when [Fjord] wasn’t thinking, moments of intensity or where he thought he was alone or the situation was reactionary, or something like that”.

When Whitestone came up, Taliesin and Travis both really wanted to go. Taliesin: “Can I cast Commute? Laura and I were freaking out pretty hard.” Taliesin has friends playing in CR-based campaigns who occasionally send him messages asking questions about Whitestone.

Everyone offering Fjord their weapons hit hard: “I think he was just trying to humbly express that he couldn’t do as much for the group as he did before. [...] That was just great. It wasn’t the words, and it wasn’t anyone trying to blow sunshine up your ass, because the truth of the matter is, yeah, everyone’s going to miss that shit. But instead going like, okay, that’s the scenario, here’s our solve.” Taliesin: “Your shitty girlfriend was in a really popular band, but that’s not why we were hanging out with you.”

Clay yeeting the residuum dust into the forge was him getting irritated by “everyone trying to logic out an act of faith. Watching everyone trying to figure out exactly what the rules were, when he knew it wasn’t the rules. This is not a system to game. You either act with the faith, or you don’t: okay, no, this is stupid, this is either going to work or it isn’t.”

Brian kills a fly with his iPad.

Caduceus has found the Kiln “recharging as hell”, to the point where it’ll be a little hard to leave again, although knowing they’ll probably wind up heading back there definitely helps.

Travis has no idea what’s happening with Fjord’s class right now. Matt’s only response thus far has been “You don’t know.”

Travis: “What happens if we TPK in front of a live audience?”

And we’re off to Gen Con!

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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a-kayy47 · 6 years ago

Text

Learning to live:Chapter 2

So what brings you and the rugrats to Charming?" Tig asked. I knew he wasn't really intrested, he just wanted to know if I was going to be trouble, I won't but my ex might be. "Well, I got tired of my kids sperm donor cheating on me and being a junkie. After 7 years of it, it gets old" I said looking down at my feet and taking deep drags of my cigarette. "Why didn't you leave sooner lass?" Brit's ol'man asked.

"Honestly, I didn't think I deserved better or would ever find anyone who would ever want me." I answered still looking down.

"Fuck that prick! You deserve better babe. You're a damn good momma, you work every fucking day and never do anything for yourself, shit whens the last time you've actually had fun?" Brit asked me.

"Umm...Like real fun? Probably the last party I went to at Uncle Tom's clubhouse when I got arrested." I said looking up with a shit eating grin on my face.

"I wouldn't say getting arrested is fun." A bigger guy with glasses piped in as he walked up to us.

"That's because you've never been arrested with this bitch!" Brit said. "I remember it like it was yesterday. We was 16 and ate shrooms for the first time. And for some reason we thought it would be fun to get payback at some fucking blonde bitch for calling us biker whores and shit so we stole her car and pushed it into the lake!" Britni said laughing reminiscing on the memory. "You pushed a car in a lake and didnt get jail time?" The bigger guy asked again. "Oh that's not why we got arrested!" I said laughing. "Miss let's sneak into the local bar and dance naked on the bar is what got us arrested!" Britni told them still laughing uncontrollably at the memory.

"Yeah, I got public indecency and underage intoxication." I told them "You also tried to blow the cop to get him to let you go!" Britni reminded me. "Fuck, I forgot about that! Hey, at least he was attractive!" I said laughing "Dude he was twice your age!" She replied.

"We used to have so much fun. I miss it so much, all these fuckers want to do is drink till they pass out or bury their face in pussy!" Brit said putting her arm over my shoulder and squeezing.

"Well I haven't had sex since I got pregnant with Rayne and I haven't drank till I passed out since I was 18 so I'm not much fun anymore."

"Well we'll just have to change that! You're a hot peice of ass babe! You gotta get laid!" Brit said smacking my ass.

"Wait, did you just say you haven't had sex since you got pregnant with your girl..shes what like 5?" Tig asked with wide eyes.

"Yepp, she'll be 6 in September."

"But, you're like super hot!" The bigger guy said.

"Well thanks, I'm sorry I didnt catch your name."

"Phil." He told me.

"Well thank you Phil. But a lot of people dont think so, including myself. I still have baby weight to loose and it's been almost 6 years so." I said with a little chuckle.

•Happy's POV•

This chick was crazy! Staying with a dude for 7 years getting cheated on all because she didnt think anybody would want her! And not having sex in 5 years but knowing her boyfriend was out fucking anything with two sets of lips. She deserved better! The sparkle in her eye and the way she laughed while remembering all the fun her and Britni used to have warmed my heart even though I'd never tell anyone that. Everyone deserves to blow off some steam every now and then. Hell if I didnt get too I'd loose my fucking mind! And what the hell was she talking about no one wanting her, fuck I'd take her to my dorm and have my way with her right now! She was perfect! Beautiful face, tattoos lining her arms and hands, long thick black hair that I wanted to wrap my hands in, nice full chest that you could definitely tell was real the way they bounced when she laughed. Light skin with a slight olive undertone, a nice waist with a little belly from having kids, wide child bearing hips with a nice plump ass to match. She was bigger than the girls around here but shit that's what I liked something I could be rough with in bed and not worrying about breaking her. She may be bigger but you could tell she worked out, her ass was nice and firm but still had that fantastic bounce when she walked I could only imagine what it would look like bouncing on my dick. I wanted to find the fucker that ever treated her wrong and make him regret every single time he put his hands on her.

I remembered seeing her at the gas station and couldn't get those beautiful green eyes and plump lips out of his head then to see her pull up her and find out she's staying. By the time it was all said in done I'd have this women and she'd never remember that prick.

●○●○

"Shut the hell up girl! I know you workout everyday!" Brit said pushing my shoulder. "Not everyday, and now I wont be able to since I don't have anywhere to keep up my boxing lessons." I said looking over to check on the kids.

"Happy boxes, he could teach ya a little." Tig said grinning at Happy.

"I'm sure he's busy with other things. I'll just have to stick to walking or jogging then the kids can tag along."I said shrugging it off.

"Be out here tomorrow morning at 8." Happy said which shocked all of us.

"I'll be there, Thanks." I said shyly.

"Alright let's go get you and the kids settled in. I'm sure you have a busy day tomorrow." Britni said breaking the conversation.

"God yes, I have to get the kids enrolled in school and look for a salon and see if they're hiring." I said exhausted just thinking about it.

"Well the school thing I can help with, Tara, Jax' ol'lady can help with that she just enrolled Thomas their youngest. And as for a salon there is only one and it's a barber shop most women go to Oakland to get their hair done but he's a good friend and with some talking to should give you a booth. I know the ladies would love a hairstylist closer home." Britni said filling me in.

●○●○●

After about a 10-minute drive from the TM we arrived at Britni's apartment. The kids were beyond excited to get settled in somewhere for more than a night, and I couldn’t blame them in all honesty I was too. Brit pulled her Camaro into the garage and I parked by the sidewalk that lead to her�� “apartment” as she called it, to me it was just a small house. She walked up to the car and immediately started helping me get things out. The kids had already jumped out and were sitting on the steps that lead up to the porch.

“Just get what ya’ll need tonight and I’ll send someone over tomorrow to help you unload the rest?” She stated opening the back hatch.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that I can get it. I packed it myself.” I replied with a chuckle.

“Don’t argue! Anyways if I didn’t send someone to help Gemma would have my head.” She said with an eye roll.

“Is someone afraid of this Gemma?” I asked with a smirk.

“We all are.” She answered flatly. “Wait till YOU meet her! I’m sure you’ll give her a run for her money!” She said with that smirk of hers that I knew meant trouble.

“Great! Can’t wait!” I said sarcastically grabbing the kids’ bags.

Brit grabbed my bag and led me to the door, unlocking it and entering the house. She had a nice place. As soon as you walked in the door you entered the living room, which she had painted a dark gray with a black leather couch and recliner on one side and a big flat screen TV on the other. The living room led into the kitchen, which had a small island in the middle of both rooms, it was simple black and gray just like Brit. I noticed that there was a door on each side of the living room, which I was guessing was the two bedrooms.

The kids hurried inside and stretched out on the couch and turned on the TV making them selves a home right away. I followed Brit to the door that was on the right side of the living room.

“It’s not much but its better than where you was.” Brit said as she walked in the room and flipped on the light.

“Anything was better than that! I’ll never be able to repay you, you know that right!” I told her in all seriousness.

“Shut your mouth, you and those babies are all the family I have left, if something would have happened to you I would of lost my mind. I just wish I could have got you out sooner, before the beatings started.” She said low.

“How did you know about that?” I asked looking down at my feet.

“Let’s just say Jamie called me every time you was in the hospital.” She told me.

That boy, I swear he might be quit and keep to himself but he never misses a thing.

“Annie, why didn’t you call me sooner? I would have got you out. I have a whole MC that would have backed me!” She said grabbing me by the shoulders and making me look her in the eyes.

“I was scared, you don’t know how many times I tried, I tried so fucking hard but I could never do it.” I said starting to cry.

“After the last time he put me in the hospital I was done. He really did a number on me that time.” I said lifting up the bottom of my shorts and showing her a scar that went 8 inches across my upper thigh.

“What the fuck Annie!” She asked running her fingers across the scar.

“My shorts were to short for a “Fat Bitch” to wear so he decided that he need to make a permanent mark to show me that my shorts had to be below that line.”

“This is the first time I’ve wore shorts in two years.”

I told her still looking at my feet.

“Babe you are worth so much more than that. Why didn’t you tell me what was happening?” She asked me again.

“I was embarrassed. I was such a strong person before I got with him I didn’t take shit from anyone let alone a man. Then I got with him and it was like I was trapped. I was scared to leave because if he ever found me I was sure he would kill me, and I couldn’t do that to the kids. That’s why I came here, I knew if he finds me here and kills me at least they had you to protect them. I cant let him get my babies..he would destroy them. They’re so innocent and sweet and have such a big heart and he’s so evil he would ruin them.” I rambled to her.

“I’m so sorry Annie, but know you are safe here YOU and those kids. Neither the MC nor me will let anything happen to you. And I promise you we will get the old Annie back! Now lets get you all settled in, you have a busy day tomorrow.” Britni said giving me a longing hug.

We walked out to the living room to see both kids passed out on the couch. I grabbed their blankets from their bag and cover both of them up and them a kiss on the forehead before I went to get ready to go to sleep myself. Britt went over and locked the door “Don’t worry only people that has a key is Chibs and Happy and they shouldn’t be by tonight.” She reassured me. I gave her a nod and told her good night. I went to my room and took off my clothes to change into a big-oversized Harley Davidson shirt and pair panties. I checked my purse for the 9mm that I picked up before we left West Virginia from an old friend. I made sure the mag was filled and out of the gun and laid both in the draw in the nightstand by the bed. The only thing that was going to help me sleep at night is knowing I had something to protect my babies! I laid in bed thinking about everything I had to do tomorrow and drifted off to sleep.

#sons of anarchy fanfiction #sons of anarchy #happy lowman #chibs telford #happy lowman x oc

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incorrect-ikevamp-quotes · 5 years ago

Note

pls scream about Leo a lil bit cause my love for that man is neverending and i live for you guys' blog,,, and ur comte love fuels me??? head empty except for those two pureblood clowns

HNGNGNG I hope that both you and everyone that reads my shenanigans knows how utterly understood I feel when I see anyone stan Comte, if not both of those idiot purebloods bc good lord...I live for two tired fossil men that just want DOMESTIC BLISS. Literally they have no brain cells beyond respect women and we love that for us, it’s spectacular!!

Under a cut bc I went off and is long:

That being said I’d be happy to yell abt Leo!! Where do I even begin, this man was the reason I got into Ikevamp in the first place, and I’ve read just about every single one of his events at this point. He just makes me so TENDER!!!!!! For whatever reason the first thing that came to mind was this one time he lies about being jealous and MC is lolol u a fool if you think I can’t tell when you lie to me. And he’s so fuckiNG SHOOK?????? It’s even funnier because she’s internally like [I’m not 100% sure but for a second there he almost looked mad...time to test this theory even if it’s just A GAME T H E O R Y] And he’s so fucking pikachu meme that shit sends me. I can’t handle the fact that he’s so used to people just assuming he’s fine, that he can handle himself. That he’s lived for so long without really anyone noticing at all. (Comte absolutely notices and will lightly roast him, but doesn’t really push him about it or wants to overstep). And so when MC just actively pays attention and is so gentle with him he’s just floored???

God I’m crying now, but I will just never forget the funeral scene in his fucking rt. This asshole, this absolute moron, straight up tries to come at us with “yOu GeT uSeD tO iT aFtEr HaLf A mIlLeNiUm, i’M nOt SaD”. Like are you serious. Come here and let me hold you before I throttle you. Absolute clown. He’s just always trying so hard to get by on his own and it breaks my heart. How long...how long has he lived just getting by, nursing his own wounds and dragging himself up all by himself. HE LEFT HOME AT LIKE 14 (whatever the fuCK SOME TOO YOUNG AGE) AND RAN STRAIGHT INTO THE HANDS OF PEOPLE THAT HATED HIM FOR HIS TALENT. HE REMEMBERS HIS MENTORS DESTROYING HIS UTENSILS WHILE TRYING TO ESCAPE PARENTS THAT WHOLEHEARTEDLY REJECTED ANY EXPRESSION OF LOVE OR COMPASSION FOR HUMANITY THAT HE CHERISHED SO DEEPLY. I DON’T NEED SLEEP I NEED TO HUG HIM IMMEDIATELY FUCKING HELL.

Like.........there’s just........I don’t know how to explain it, but I once saw it explained so well in a post. It was basically talking about Castlevania, and how in that show Dracula sees humanity’s folly and develops so much hatred he just goes straight to murder rage. And while in some ways I understand that, I understand even more deeply Trevor’s response to humanity’s fear and violence. He says that he knows they’re short-sighted, that maybe we all just don’t deserve saving...but that he’s going to do it anyway. Leonardo just so much gives me that energy of knowing there’s so much pain in the world, but all we can do is keep walking--keep trying, even if we have to claw our way forward. Because if you only see the awfulness in front of you, you forget the way that strangers make silly faces at babies to make them laugh on the train, how a friend will put everything down to race over to someone and comfort them with some ice cream--do anything they can to distract them from the hurt. How the sight of a child crying will prompt careful cooing from a stranger as to their bravery, an offering of cool water, the gentle placement of a bandaid. How a pair of teenagers will spot a lost child in milliseconds and help them seek out their parents protectively. There is so much wretchedness, but also so much beauty in it all, and the older I get the more I see myself wanting to believe in the latter. I want to be hopeful, and easily impressed, and full of love. To be bitter and jaded accomplishes nothing, and only becomes a worsening self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you seek negativity, the more you will find it; and worse, create it.

I also scream a little bit bc like. I’ve gone on and on about how Comte is very obviously in love with MC all the time, and sure that may be true. But...I really don’t think Leo is exempt from that either if I’m honest lmfao. Only because what does Leonardo do when it isn’t his route? He almost never shows up. Once in a while he might appear for a split second in a scene, but he almost never converses with MC beyond those short moments. While Comte is the one to pine openly, I’d wager Leo is the opposite. He pines in absolute silence, because he knows that if he gets any closer--he’s going to fall. He’s going to enjoy it too much, going to keep seeking out more before he can stop himself. And losing another person he loves...he just can’t do it anymore. In his first meeting story he talks about seeing MC’s eyes and feeling like he’d known them all his life, and even in his MS he speaks to just being completely fascinated by and enamored of her. She doesn’t hesitate, always does her best, meets people head-on and without much hesitation. After a lifetime of people that are probably just immediately interested in him for his talents, or always seeking out his company for the novelty, this is someone that doesn’t give a single fuck if he’s Leonardo da Vinci. Sure she’s aware, and sure she’s impressed to some extent, but her respect--her attraction and admiration--is something that has to be earned.

There’s something so refreshing about how their love was written. Sure it’s the whole fake marriage to a real relationship, but it’s also a kind of subtle enemies to lovers pulled off masterfully. MC is 100% minding her own business, just wants to do what she must in order to get home, tries to focus on her work to keep from thinking about how much she misses her old life. She doesn’t rely on anyone, doesn’t talk about how hard it is or how scary it is or how confusing. And even Leonardo forgets in his curiosity, is just chillin and also just trying to do the bare minimum to keep from getting too attached--figures he can admire her from a distance. And then he sees her staring at the hourglass. And suddenly, he can’t just watch her do that herself. Just wait for the hard times to pass, just sit with her own loneliness--that hollowing silence. There’s something so moving about it because he reaches out precisely because he knows that feeling to his fucking marrow, and literally just cannot watch somebody else do that to themselves. Sure he’s been dealing with it for three hundred years, BUT THIS GOOD BABIE CHILD DOES NOT DESERVE THIS. SHE WORKS HARD AND DESERVES NICE THINGS!!!!!!!! And so he drives her crazy as he races ahead of her, intercepting any attempt for her to preserve that silence and hide. She doesn’t see any pattern to it, and that’s just how he likes it--he doesn’t want her to worry about the how or why.

Like I fully remembering playing in Japanese and being like oh my fucking god this is hilarious, this man is just a wild fucker and I love this. I was enjoying myself, mostly laughing and shaking my head. But then it just gets so, so serious. I was having so much fun that I, like a fool, forgot the anime effect. If you’re having fun, it’s going to come crashing down without mercy soon enough. And it does. He helps a little girl without any hope play her violin again, and maybe I’m just too English major but I was fucking FLOORED when I realized I didn’t see that that was straight foreshadowing. That little girl without hope? That was MC (and by extension depending on how you play, us). Though the metaphor isn’t quite so easily mapped without a physical space, the connection is clear when you think about it. With his careful social awareness, he makes a place for MC to exist in the mansion so naturally--as though she was meant to be there from the start, crafts a positive impression of her presence with each of the residents. And he does it with zero expectation of anything in return; he’s just happy to see her not stressing herself out anymore or trying to do everything alone. MC doesn’t fall in love with him despite their differences, she falls in love with him because they are the same in a singular and all-encompassing way that matters; they both care about other people so deeply, to the point where they will forego any personal needs in order to make that person’s life easier. Whether it be muting their own hardship, or working to involve another person in a new space (or opening up to the point of self-destruction to keep a person from feeling alone), they go above and beyond what anybody asks of them--perhaps strong to the point of their own detriment, in some cases.

It’s why I always laugh when he says to Sebastian “That cara mia, she has a good heart.” Of course she does, Leonardo; it certainly takes one to know one.

And because I literally have no brain cells beyond being in fucking love with Leonardo THE LAKE SCENE IS AN AFFRONT TO MY DIGNITY AND SELF-CONTROL. HOW DARE YOU, SIGNORE. HOW DARE YOU ASK ME TO SIT THERE AND WATCH YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO ME AND NOT BAWL MY EYES OUT AND TRY TO KISS YOU ALL AT THE SAME TIME. SIGNORE “hAhA yOu’Re So SmAlL yOu LoOk LiKe YoU’rE DrOwNiNg In My CoAt.” I WOULD DROWN AND DIE HAPPY--BITCH I TELL YOU THAT.

Like. I can’t think of another route I’ve ever done where I spent a good amount of time like “lmfao this guy is so wild im gonna punch him” to just be in a whirlpool of my own tears, regretting my entire fucking LIFE days later. Like Leonardo’s cultural impact???? Fucking immeasurable, I wish every white man disaster I ever met had a hidden heart of gold in all of his boyish dumbassery, an ICONIC himbo of our time.

Also because I remembered it before posting and I am Dying^TM. The event where MC was a pureblood and he was human. That entire fucking event. I literally can’t think about it without screaming and crying. Her just so flustered at his reaction to her like “oh look, free real estate” as he plops her in his lap, absolutely no fear, treating her like a princess because of her noble title despite NO NECESSITY BEYOND PLAYFULNESS BUT ALSO STILL MEANING IT IN AN EARNEST WAY, being charming to no END just to see her laugh or look away shyly.

WHEN HE SAID. WHEN HE SAID “...Can’t leave you alone, or you might go off someplace I can’t follow.” I. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU STRIPPED DEVOTION DOWN TO ITS BARE ESSENTIALS!!!!!! GAH HOW MC HERSELF SAYS “I would tell him the truth but...he’s much too generous for a human. I know he would offer his life without a moment’s hesitation.” How Leo describes the aftermath of her biting him: “Lucky for you, I’m a true gentleman, Unlike my principessa, who took me like a storm” HELLO??????? H E L L O ???????????????????????? ARE WE JUST GOING TO SLEEP ON THE FACT THAT HE LOST HIS ENTIRE SOUL WHEN SHE BIT HIM???? I--

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

(Also as much as I love him the cigarillos have got to go at some point, boy do you have any idea the shit secondhand smoke does good lordt)

#asks #ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp comte #can you feel me going through 800 different emotions in the course of writing this #fucking hell #he absolutely kills me i love him so much #would do ANYTHING for him #if you listen v closely you can hear the soft sound of me grabbing tissues #god i was just rewatching some of his events and i just #THE SHEER WARMTH OF HIS PRESENCE HOW IT WASHES OVER YOU WHILE READING #IM SHAKING AND CRYING I LOVE HIM SO MUCH #SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#like leo is just one of those routes where its like 'my life was before and after this moment'#otome is honestly destroying my standards OTL #he just makes me feel So Much my coherence disappears #brain cells???? don't know her only Leo tiddy #in conclusion: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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vvatchword · 2 years ago

Text

ROFL THE DISCOURSE BEGINS

I rub my eensy-teensy fly hands with glee.

So there are four purposes to this essay and why I blazed it.

First, I wanted to break the toxic feedback loop in our fandom. I want to talk about BioShock Infinite, not treat it as some kind of leper, and by doing so, open up the fandom to more discourse and enjoyable experiences. Right now the fandom feels judgy, prickly, and cold--like you have to walk on eggshells--and that ain’t no way to live.

Second, I wanted to give some ammunition to other people who like the game. You aren’t wrong. It’s a good game. It grapples with heavy shit. I love it for that. It deserves love for that. It’s okay to be called a racist if you’ve critically examined your own behavior and know it not to be true. Talking about racism is how we learn to deal with it and overcome it. (Come over here and talk to me. Become my friend. I want BSI friends. plz)

Third, I kept accidentally running into the insufferable crowd. They’re fucking everywhere. I’d be floating along having a great ol’ time and suddenly BAM some snide commentary. I used my block function responsibly, sure, but they were fucking everywhere, and never where I expected them besides. So I wanted them to do my work for me and remove themselves from my orbit. AND THEY HAVE BEEN. I AM FREEEEE. FOR A MERE $11 YOU TOO CAN REMOVE THE INSUFFERABLE FOREVER. Have any of you tried this it’s the best fucking idea I’ve ever had

Fourth, I wanted to shine a light on this behavior. Because it’s what makes being in fandom the ABSOLUTE FUCKING WORST. This is not my first rodeo: back on Facebook, I had joined a number of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle groups. I noticed early on that they seemed to lean hard toward 1987, the original cartoon, as well as the original live-action films, and that the majority of fans seemed to be old white cis het bros. That didn’t bother me very much--Facebook’s population does skew older and whiter. But eventually I realized that every time any other iteration of TMNT was posted, some asshole would be in the comment section giving the OP shit, and OP would inevitably quietly leave and stop posting. The groups were literally SELF-SELECTING for 1987 and the og live-action films as well as old white cis het bros. Here on Tumblr, we have the exact same dynamic, except it's The Youths (TM). And if you think that it’s okay to make an exclusive environment where you viciously attack other members for attempting to discuss shit that literally requires honest conversation to unpack, you’re a motherfucker.

Anyway. I reblog with this commentary because a recent commenter pointedly mentioned how BioShock Infinite is the Most Racist Game ever and “you are a racist if you don’t see it”, and that this “”“critique””” is “harmful”

Harmful to what? Harmful how? In what concrete manner? Can you list BioShock Infinite’s victims? How did they die or are they still in the hospital? In what condition? What are the social effects of BioShock Infinite? Got any graphs? Show me man, I’m here for it.

Oh, the contortions I’m about to see, my friends in christ. First, I’ll see the argument that racist works endanger minority populations, and that by supporting a racist narrative, you support hurting those populations. Is this true? Absolutely! However, while it is true that racist behaviors start with jokes, suppositions, stereotypes, and the like, they’re also usually uncritical, flat assumptions about how the world works. That’s not what BioShock Infinite was doing. Remember: for this argument to land, you’ll have to prove that BioShock Infinite was uncritically and destructively racist. You cannot skip this point. If you skip this point and fly straight into the above argument I will laugh at you.

Did you really go through BioShock Infinite thinking it supported racist belief systems? It was clearly attempting not to. Does author intent matter? YES! “Death of the author” my ass, you will always understand a piece better if you understand where the author is coming from. Was it presented in that smug, disgusting, centrist white boy way? Also yes, but if it helps, my actual centrist friend (who watched me play the game) was equally disgusted by the Fitzroy and Vox-Populi-violence plot points. Neither make sense by any metric.

In any case, a self-avowed racist would not play that game and go, “Ah yes, this aligns with my worldview.” They’d probably protest that they were being misunderstood. Theeeey would neeeeever tie up a Chineeese maaaan and sic raaaavens on him. Theeeey wooooould neeeever support a gheeeetto. Theeeey juuuust supppoooorrt whiiiiite heeeeritage and hiisssstorrryyy. They might try to roleplay the game in a way that soothed their prejudice, and support Infinite’s false-equivalency message against the Vox Populi. Is that enough to make the game “racist” full-stop, though? The Founders’ violence was fully explored, and it was vile, and it was inexcusable, and it was the fucking truth. I’ve been tempted several times to call it a caricature, but I originated from those circles. You don’t want to know how those people talk in private. Hell, they’re doing it in public now, they’ve just learned how to put on costumes and use dog whistles.

Speaking of false equivalency, the arguers will perform the next number of psychological backflips:

They will ignore all the ways we agree, present points I clearly support (in-text, no less), and then pretend I don’t support them. This way they can misrepresent me to their already allied friends, who don’t have to read what I wrote to form an opinion. Because it’ll hurt to read what I wrote, so they’re not going to want to hear it from me. They will trust those they know. Plus, it’ll be hard to think about what I wrote because they’re so pissed. Ask me how I know lol

They feel hurt and angry and mistake that for reason, they probably don’t know how to separate their feelings from their logic (I mean, fair, neither do I) and this subject is going to trigger a lot of bad feelings besides. They will find reasons to support their feelings with arguments. Our feelings lie to us constantly, friendos. I used to be terrified of gay people for christ’s sakes do you think that made any fucking sense

A number of extremely anal points will be trotted out. I will be blamed for not exploring the entire rainbow of human experience, defining every concept, touching on every possible point, and every single omission will be regarded as a separate sin. Now, I will gladly accept contradictory readings and corrections, but just because my reading doesn’t include every point under the sun, that doesn’t mean it’s nessarily incorrect. An essay--and a piece of art, for that matter--MUST have a narrow framing device by virtue of its nature. I can absolutely talk for hundreds of thousands of words, but nobody wants that, and let’s face it, this is just a form of sea-lioning. As I hope you understand, THIS IS MADNESS.

I will not be given the credit of a doubt. I will have attempted evil from the beginning. I clearly hunger for sinister things. Every -ism and -phobia that can be thought of will be thought of. All humans are evil from the beginning, and how can that exclude me? The only way to remove evil is to curl inward further and further and further, pushing out the outside world. Calvinism sure affects us in the strangest goddamn ways eh

I will go ahead and acknowledge the two elephants in the room since I didn’t speak much on them:

The racist fridging of Daisy Fitzroy. How it’s racist: For those who don’t know, a common racist trope throughout art has been the POC who, rather than being a fully-formed human being, acts more as a Macguffin or learning experience for a white character. Think Dances with Wolves, think the black guy who runs up to Robinson Crusoe and offers to become his slave, think The Green Mile (hey, if we want to talk about art that is good despite its problematic elements...). Is it wrong? Yes. Indubitably. There you go. May I remove a racist point now How it’s fridging: “fridging” refers to the act of using a character, usually a woman, to spur a main character into action. It’s named for a comic book trope where a girlfriend or wife is murdered to propel a protagonist (named specifically for a story where the aforementioned partner was stuffed in a fridge). What makes it notable is the kind of person chosen for fridging: almost always a woman, almost never an individual in her own right, used as a Macguffin. How it worked: Daisy Fitzroy died so Elizabeth could have character growth and she did it in the most hamfisted dumbfuck way possible.

The attempt to paint the Vox Populi’s violence as somehow equal to the Founders’. It was the Founders who formed an extreme environment that could only be responded to with equally extreme action. Early in drafting this essay, I was tempted to include a small YouTube video above this point; it would have been of a black man sweeping on a dock. When you approach him, he murmurs that you shouldn’t be seen talking to him; that it’s best for both of you if you leave now. I think that sums it up best. If Levine had intended for the Vox Populi to be presented as equally vile, there should have been other creative decisions made to represent them that way. Clearly he meant to make an analogy to current-day left/right fighting, but this absolutely does not land, because if you wouldn’t fight back against a group that can starve you with impunity, I mean...

All this ends up coming back to one point: censorship in the name of the invisible minority, which is the left’s version of “think of the children.” It’s the idea that there are some ideas that are too terrible to face. Such people believe it’s dangerous to attempt explicating such arguments because you might do it wrong, so let’s not do it at all. It produces art with no edges and Puritans, and both of these may go straight to Hell.

I’m here to tell you, friends. I know being called a racist hurts. Nobody wants that. Nobody wants to hurt anyone else or be perceived as hurting someone else. But you don’t have to worry about these people as long as you always critically question yourself--accepting that you might be wrong--and try to be good to others, which includes listening to them and their experiences, especially if those experiences are outside your wheelhouse.

Let go of the weight. Yeah, it sucks to do something racist or sexist or homophobic, especially if you didn’t mean to, especially if it’s something you did in your past that can never be undone. It really does. But you’ve got to be able to acknowledge when you’ve fucked up, because you WILL fuck up. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It just means you’re a person and you’re still learning. You’re only a bad person if you double-down on bad behavior. Apologize, ask for clarification, learn from it, move on. You don’t have to perform self-flagellation. Self-flagellation helps no one and turns into (sigh) moral performatism. Yeah, you might lose good relationships by fucking up. That’s what you’ve earned. Everything dies. You will cross lines you can never uncross. That’s just life. Apologize. Ask for clarification or research the subject. Learn from it. Move on.

The criticism you’re going to see come up again and again in response to my essay is that ideas are going to fucking hurt you. That there’s thought crime. There are things we can’t talk about unless they’re talked about perfectly and in such a way that they please everyone in the room. First of all, have you ever tried to please a room full of people? You won’t. Second of all, we must be able to discuss these things frankly to see any kind of improvement in the subjects that truly matter. Third, if you only attempt to create art that’s perfect, you will never create art at all--or worse, you’ll end up with the artistic equivalent of drywall paste: perfect worlds with perfect people and no difficult subjects to drive tension or active questions. A perfect, unthinking, pure white wall, meaningless, uncritical, uninteresting. I nearly starved to death considering that wall. Don’t you do it too.

Think what this does to artists--the horrible crushing weight of feeling that if you tackle a theme incorrectly, you will be expelled from the known universe and sent to fucking hell, FOREVER. In my opinion, that’s far worse than accidentally racist fiction. Why? Because it steals our ability to converse about the subject, and we HAVE to be able to discuss it to understand it. Otherwise it becomes a mysterious, frightening thing far larger than it has any right to be. We have to give people room to make mistakes. And when they make an effort in good faith, they should be recognized for that. Reward the behavior you want to see.

I love the idea that a fucked-up piece of art is enough to destroy us. Well, if it is, then maybe we deserve to be destroyed. We are a bunch of dumb motherfuckers, aren’t we? That’s how we’re going to go out. Somebody’s gonna light a copy of BioShock Infinite in the center of the United States and set off the Yellowstone Supervolcano.

Heeeeyyy, I think I had an idea for a scientific experiment lol. Better go buy a plane ticket.

In Defense of BioShock Infinite

Although I had preordered BioShock Infinite with all its bells and whistles, I did not actually play it until January 2023. And lordy, I had me another Experience with a capital E. How the hell a bunch of urban Yanks could capture my experience as a queer democratic-socialist atheist struggling with her roots as a rural evangelical-cum-fascist is kinda magical, honestly. As to the game itself, it didn’t hurt how good it looked—the kickass skyhook gun battles—that novel setting—the complex characters—that delicious historical setting—that bloodthirsty critique of America—and to top it all off, they had pulled yet another Cassandra. Hell, speaking of which—not only was the game fun, it was fucking smart. It was intelligent, memorable, and meaningful in a way I hadn’t experienced in video games for years.

Now, back in 2013, when I had realized that I would be spoiled for Infinite, I left the BioShock fandom. After completing the game, I headed to Tumblr to re-engage, wagging my whole body like an excitable golden retriever, only to discover that BioShock Infinite was remarkably absent, and when mentioned, brutally derided.

“I hate BioShock Infinite and all my friends do, too,” someone said in the tags under a post.

I was utterly befuddled and deeply sad. I wanted to talk about BioShock Infinite! I wanted to dig into it, uncover unexpected ideas, learn new things, talk shit, make new friends—the full fandom experience. And instead I kept stumbling into hateful diatribes and super-charged disgust.

Obviously, I first looked at myself and my own judgment. Had I missed some obvious problem or misread some theme or dialogue? This wouldn’t be the first time I’d snapped down on a hook. But the more I thought about it, the angrier I got.

Keep reading

#bioshock #bioshock infinite #essays #video games #vvatchword #vvbsreceipts

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madamhatter · 7 years ago

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am i valid for url meme...

Send Me A URL and I’ll Respond With My Opinions… / accepting

Roleplaying/Writing

My favorite muse(s) of theirs and why: Bamboo Rice will have a special place in my heart because I love big ol’ dorks whO WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THE PEOPLE/THINGS THEY LOVE. And Bamboo was really the one I got to know and we were able to somewhat extend conversation about him :’D.

My favorite interaction/thread of theirs: Any time Xander literally opens his mouth and everyone else has to reply like “NO” and he’s like “YES.” I really just love how your general interactions can literally terrorize multiple blogs/fandoms in one successful swoop, no matter which character it is. I only know so few of your characters but I can tell this is something that has happened frequently with the others.My thoughts on their unique characterization/interpretation of their muse(s): what do you mean tsun isn’t Bamboo’s writer? And Boston Lobster’s? And Xander’s? Why am I being fed these lies? However, there was one thing I noticed that I adored and that was the fact you really brought in actual and plausible headcanons that make sense in relation to the character’s upbringing and what they have and may not have experienced. IE: I remember Bamboo being mentioned (by you) to be illiterate due to their surroundings and being deep in the forest. As strange as it sounds, people really don’t go that far down into detail and I appreciate it. My thoughts on their writing style as a whole: You know that meme where Gordon Ramsey says “finally, some good fucking food”? That’s literally me when I see any of Tsun’s posts, IC or OOC. I just like reading their stuff and being intimated by the writing in a way that pushes to me to go back to my more serious writing times. Also don’t get me started on their meme ANSWERS, IM HONESTLY RECOVERING FROM SEVERAL ON XANDER’S BLOGS, DON’T @ ME IT READS LIKE POETRY - Situation(s)/Plot(s) I’d love to see their muse(s) in: HMMM… I would like to see Xander in an AU where he properly is a king of a land, even if it is through questionable means (which may be slightly OOC); I do think your Sengoku M. muses will have a god damn fun time in a deity-based AU. Lmao, and if you have doubles, you can always mimick the Evillous Chronicles series with like twins (Daughter of Evil, Servant of Evil, Regret Message, etc.) because those are fun times :3ccccSomeone else I love seeing them interact with: @box-of-characters and @cirocchio ; no questions about that. No matter which character, it IS THE FUNNIEST THING TO ME. Anything else I want to say about their roleplaying: So how the hell does a gem like you stay hidden for so long? What’s your secret? Why keep hidden?? I’m going to have to hold you high in the air for folks to realize the quality that is you as a writer.

If We Know Eachother

What I Think Are Their Best Qualities: Can deal with my bullshit, has the shitty sense of humor like me, and doesn’t find me annoying. Tsun just really knows how to get the dash working and chat with others, making a whole group experience that doesn’t exclude anyone. Tsun also takes heavy consideration and stuff when writing for characters and trying not to insert his midwestern twang in otherwise very regal mouths. Seriouly, though, I think his best qualities will alwas be the way they’re able to frame their characters’ emotions and always involve movement with them, making a whole scene play out. It isn’t stagnant, it’s always flowing, like a river.What I Think Are Their Strengths: Can laugh and tolerate my horrible fucking puns. It’s just super easy and comfortable to talk to you and get to know you! I say that not only are you an amiable personality, I really do say that at the end of the day, you care for your fellow roleplayers much more than writing partners and more as friends. This is beyond writing that I’ll consistently gush about but, I get that you’re an all around package who brings your A+ game and only deserves the best. A Memorable OOC Interaction Of Ours: How…how do I choose one?? I usually send him very cursed things over Tumblr IMs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=120HFjKPuJ4) and we’ve explored the realm of what strange things seiyuus sing. Every OOC interaction is memorable! Why Others Should RP With Them: It’s really hard nowadays to find roleplayers that really care for their characters but also know when to mess around and not take them as seriously. With the addition in being dedicated to building their characters and open to new and exciting ways to interact, I don’t why why you aren’t following yet. Also, he helps me cope with the stupid and long novella replies with eveN BETTER ONES SO, YOU GOT THAT BONUS. How Others Should Approach Them: Maybe it’s me and I see that it’s really easy to message people like a moron like “he-hewwo??” But, I always say drop into Tsun’s messages and drop a hello! I always say it’s better to drop in to meet the person first rather than their writing. It helps build bonds! Other Roleplayers I’d Recommend To Them: @vacuitas ; I think both of your multimuse blogs will greatly mesh well together and with Kat’s blog backstory and OCs should really be explored and you got some interesting personalities on both of your blogs that can either get along or hate very much! Anything else I want to say about them: how you haven’t gotten tired of me yet and the weird things I’ve sent you is beyond me– But, Tsun, you’re a real sweetheart and know how to bring a smile to my face without realizing it ;v; <3

If We Have/Plan To Interact

A plot I’d like to write with them: ANYTHING. ANYTHING. just honestly throw me ideas about AUs and I’m like butter, easy to melt and get into things. *steeples hands* If there’s any way I can make a character suffer at the expense of one of mine getting hurt or being mean, lmk :eyes:. Maybe hm… “Asselin you’re not a demon and those horns are totally fake - what the bloody hell. No I’m not going to stop pulling these horns these are NO way real ” AU. A muse I want to introduce to them: Natsume from Enstars. Just trust me, just trust me you will love that little shit and he’ll fit in with your crowd and he curses people like a fucking moron please I LOVE HIM… Since you like characters in trashbags, but I want you to have a variety, I can also bleed in some of my Mogeko charas like Shirogane (a scaredy cat wolf) and Battler Ushiromiya from Umineko (he’s a man who defies meta to solve the murders of his family that fateful October 4th, 1986). Also Phantom from Maplestory, I …love him to bits, he’s amazing. He’s gorgeous, he’s powerful, tends to not take things seriously is a phantom thief but I …oh god I love him so much : ‘ ) A ship/broship I’d like to propose to them: Xander/Sophie’s dynamic is amazing, I love when the bourgeois and the peasants argue. I’m also glad that their relationship can translate on different levels but there’s always that call-back to bickering yet support. If I can propose another, uhh– I really like Bamboo/Spam as a friendship and Boston/Spam as a mix of plato/romo (not too sure but I really liked their differences, i can see it as a “grey” area). UHHHH… Asselin/Sophie looks like it could be a god damn trip :tm: bc a servant of satan of a witch sounds all sorts of chaos :3c. A thread with them I’m excited about: CHISANA THREAD, CHISANA THREAD! GIANT ASS DRAGON INDEBT TO WITCH AND HE REGRETS TURNING HUMAN BUT THEN HE REGRETS TURNING BACK AND … YEAH. Anything else I want to say: God has forsaken you since you’re my friend and I hope you realize the path you’re now down wnjdfksnfdsj/.

#[ you're valid but your muses arent ]#rulerborn #( ooc related )#( checkbooks inquiries and much ; answered asks )#[ eDIT: TAGGING THIS BC IT GOT LONG NFSKJDF ]#long post tw /#long post tw //#long post tw #[ also i fucking remembered the lobUCK THING .. ]#[ I DESERVE CREDIT FOR THAT NAME - \

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scarromanoff · 7 years ago

Text

I was tagged by @tht-lesbian-fangirl (thanks bro!)

Rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

— what was your last…

1. Drink: Water and Jolly Rancher Soda, Watermelon edition 2. Phone call: my father 3. Text message: one of my close friends 4. Song you listened to: probably something from Hamilton 5. Time you cried: my last Tech Week Meltdown TM

— have you ever…

6. Dated someone twice: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: yes, I'd say so 10. Been depressed: oh, yeah, without a doubt 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no, I don't really drink, just the occasional (said later)

— favourite colours

12. black 13. blue 14. purple

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: yes 16. Fallen out of love: yes 17. Laughed until you cried: yeah, probably 18. Found out someone was talking about you: yes 19. Met someone who changed you: definitely 20. Found out who your friends are: ...? I like to think I'm a good judge of character... 21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: I don't have facebook.

— general

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: I don't have facebook 23. Do you have any pets: 2 cats and a dog 24. Do you want to change your name: idk, sometimes 25. What did you do for your last birthday: did work on the set for a show 26. What time did you wake up today: ...11 am... 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching the second to last episode of OITNB S5 and squealing as my tiny gay heart burst 28. What is something you can’t wait for: leaving this hellhole of a house and leading my own life 30. What are you listening to right now: self-hating thoughts... 31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: does Tommy count? 32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: my father, and the StraightsTM 33. Most visited website: ...tumblr 34. Hair colour: light brown 35. Long or short hair: long, but kind of want to cut it really short 36. Do you have a crush on someone: maybe... 37. What do you like about yourself: my intelligence and resilience 38. Want any piercings: yeah, lip or upper ear 39. Blood type: ? Maybe O? 40. Nicknames: Mattie 41. Relationship status: single 42. Sign: aries 43. Pronouns: she/they 44. Favourite tv show: idk, I love all the gay, but can Carmilla count? 45. Tattoos: I wish 46. Right or left handed: right 47. Ever had surgery: sort of? 48. Piercings: earrings 49. Sport: tae kwon do 50. Vacation: London, then train to Oxford, and then to Cambridge 51. Trainers: I wear a lot of converse if we're talking those.

— more general

52. Eating: anything and everything 53. Drinking: shit ton of water 54. I'm about to watch: nothing, because I'm a dumbass who forgot about summer assignments, but probs OITNB S6 55. Waiting for: uni, where I can start following my dreams 56. Want: to do what I want with my life 57. Get married: idk, maybe. Might end up in a green card marriage... 58. Career: preferably in film, most likely in mathematics

— which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: 100% hugs 60. Lips or eyes: eyes 61. Shorter or taller: um, I'm 5'3"... 62. Older or younger: I'm pretty young, so doesn't really matter much 63. Nice arms or stomach: idk, either? How about both? 64. Hookup or relationships: relationships 65. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

— have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: nope, but I've hugged one 67. Drank hard liquor: nope, just wine, champagne, and a little beer once or twice 68. Turned someone down: yes... 69. Sex on first date: nope 70. Broken someone’s heart: I don't think so? Or at least I hope not 71. Had your heart broken: no 72. Been arrested: nope 73. Cried when someone died: um, maybe? 74. Fallen for a friend: I'm really fucking gay...

— do you believe in

75. Yourself: sometimes, but when I do, it's do or die. I go hard for myself when I care 76. Miracles: meh 77. Love at first sight: no 78. Santa Clause: no, but I get more presents if I do, so... 79. Angels: can a person be considered one? Cause if so, yes, and she's my older sister.

— misc

80. Eye colour: blue/grey 81. Best friend’s name: Maddie 82. Favourite film: oh, that's hard. I'm going to go the safe route and say Carmilla Movie, though I do love a good action film/ super hero film 83. Favourite actor: oh, goodness, so many. Natasha Negovanlis, Elise Bauman, Katie McGrath, Alicia Vikander, and so many more 84. Favourite cartoon: definitely Avatar the Last Airbender

There aren't going to be 20, and some have definitely been tagged before, but here we go. @assbuttplaid @theavengershavethephonebox @oh-thats-satans-girl @stennnn06 @team-mcgrath @killedbylenaluthor @gay-and-loyal @fandommember @mr-alex-unofficially @vausevausevause. Yep, 10 will do. Feel free to ignore.

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sceptilemasterr · 4 years ago

Text

Well, it took me long enough to get around to this one. But better late than never for a SceptileMasterr Quotey Review(TM), right?

Two paragraphs in and I'm already sad. (Not gonna bother quoting them since they're above the 'read more.') Aww, Liv...

Michael hadn’t seemed to notice that his special big cousin wasn’t much fun anymore… certainly Lucas, Benny and Georgie didn’t see the appeal. It made Liv ache. She’d been the fun one once, the one the younger kids were drawn to like moths to a flame. She was goofy and full of energy– ‘was’ in the past tense. But Michael still loved her.

You've written Liv's depression very well, here. It's heartbreaking to read about but that only goes to show how accurately you've captured it. Nice job!

Ah, okay, I know where we're at in the timeline now. I do remember this one, pretty sure!

She didn’t want to be this person. She hated this person. All of her. Especially the parts that frightened her… those she’d yet to share with anyone.

Personally, having grappled with depression in the past myself... this part in particular hit really close to home. I honestly had to stop reading for a bit, but that's a good thing in my opinion! 'Tis a testament to your writing skills. No worries!

What she needed wasn’t to be alone. More than anything, Liv had wanted to talk to her Tio Diego. Maybe this was her chance?

“Tio,” she muttered under her breath, “come walk with me?”

Thankfully for Liv, Diego was fairly switched on to when someone needed a friend. And he was sensitive enough to know to offer that support without a big fuss.

Tio Diego to the rescue! Of all people, he's probably one of the best for her to talk with. Glad she worked up the courage to open up to him!

Liv had considered taking her confession to Uncle Raj; after all, he was asexual himself. But it was different. Liv might have had no desire to have sex, but she was also an utter romantic. Uncle Raj wouldn’t understand, just like her friends at school giggling about sex wouldn’t understand.

Gotta say, I've always headcanoned Raj as aro-ace myself, so this was especially neat to read. Great minds think alike and all that!

I really, REALLY love Diego. Always have. Always will. He is wonderful.

“I definitely wouldn’t say that,” Diego said, after a moment to gather his thoughts. “I think that probably there’s a lot more people who feel like that than you realise. For a lot of people, sex is great, but it’s not the only thing. If you’re honest, no one’s being led on. And that goes for a lot of things. When you’re intimate with someone, like emotionally, or anything else, it helps to share with the other person what your needs are.”

DIEGO IS WONDERFUL. I SHALL SHOUT IT TO THE HEAVENS!

Diego blew out a heavy breath in sympathy. “Yeah. It really can be shit. Especially if you’re lonely… loneliness hits a whole lot harder when everyone’s out there shouting about togetherness and joy. After my parents kicked me out, I dreaded it. It’s hard not to be at least a little bit resentful.”

Poor Diego. He is so wonderfully empathetic though. The perfect person for Olivia to confide in right now. And he deserves all of the hugs, just saying.

“Whenever you’re ready, okay?” He smirked and gave her a little jab with the elbow. “Though your Mama Taylor is going to be devastated that she doesn’t have enough time to knit an ace flag sweater for you for Christmas.”

Liv laughed. “Oh, god! She would!” Then she just couldn’t stop laughing. Where did that even come from? Maybe… maybe there was a trail– faint, but present– out of this dark fog after all.

And a wonderful touch of humor to round out the ending! Now I'm picturing a frantic Taylor trying to knit an ace sweater at 823756 miles an hour while Estela frantically tries to make sure she gets enough food and sleep. (Art suggestion?) Nice job on this story, it was a very emotional read and hit a bit close to home for me, but very, very well written! Looking forward to Part 2!

Blue, Blue Christmas: Part One

Main Pairings: Estela x (f)MC

Summary: It's Christmas on La Huerta, and for once, Liv isn't in any kind of festive spirit.

Word Count: 3660

Chronology: set several months after 'All That Matters'

Warnings: mental illness, depression coming out (asexual)

Tagging: @saivilo, @edgydepressedchoicesthot, @sceptilemasterr

______________________________

La Huerta, 2039

Liv shivered and huddled deeper into her heavy quilt, her face buried. It being an expensive hotel, the Elysian’s rooms had excellent sound-proofing, but even they couldn’t completely drown out the sounds of excitable children storming the halls on the morning of Christmas Eve. For three of them, she knew, the day prior had been their first time seeing snow, and the lure of a winter wonderland beyond the lodge’s front doors had the little ones rising with the sun.

Not Liv, though. If she left her bed, Michael would be hanging off her in minutes. And her moms would valiantly attempt to get a conversation out of her. ‘How’d you sleep?’ Stupid question. Sleep was about all Liv was good for these days. ‘Think you might go skiing with us this afternoon?’ She just wanted to be alone….

Things were supposed to get better when she got here. They always had. But, Liv was discovering, depression was a bitch. A bitch that didn’t care for the romantic notion that old family traditions could bring the same happiness, the same relief just because they’d done so time and time again in years past. It was hard for anything to help when Liv herself couldn’t picture what ‘help’ could even look like. She was desperately lonely and wanted to be alone. She missed being fit and active, and hated the idea of crawling out of her bed. She knew she should probably take better care of herself-- shower more than her one reluctant attempt per week-- but who was she prettying herself up for anyway? It wasn’t as if a few strokes of a hairbrush would make her suddenly worthy of love… desirable.

She closed her eyes, and by the time she awoke, the sun was high in the sky and pouring through the windows.

Liv groaned. It was quiet now. Probably, the kids were out playing in the snow. So, she dragged herself out of bed.

The Elysian was a busy place this Christmas. Usually, it would just be her moms and tio abuelo, her Uncle Aleister, Auntie Grace and their kids, and Tio Diego and Uncle Varyyn coming together for Christmas. In the past, there had been occasions when one or more of the other Catalysts would join them, but for the most part, they had families elsewhere. This time, Jake and Sean would be spending Christmas with their La Huerta family-- and introducing their newly adopted trio of children to the wonders of the island. Michael, their son whom Taylor had carried as a surrogate some five years ago, was bouncing off the walls with the excitement of introducing his new siblings to his special place. But that wasn’t enough him to totally distract him from his big special cousin. Michael hadn’t seemed to notice that his special big cousin wasn’t much fun anymore… certainly Lucas, Benny and Georgie didn’t see the appeal. It made Liv ache. She’d been the fun one once, the one the younger kids were drawn to like moths to a flame. She was goofy and full of energy-- ‘was’ in the past tense. But Michael still loved her. Maybe he was waiting for her to be the same cousin she’d been before… or maybe he just wanted to love her back to happiness. Liv didn’t really like to be touched by anyone these days… but Michael was the exception; it would be a cold day in hell before she didn’t let that kid hug her. Resigned as she was to keeping up the role of favourite cousin, Liv couldn’t face that the second she left the safety of her room.

It had started in the summer, this depression. She’d had a bad fall when out hiking, leaving her resting at home and dealing with what had turned out to be post-concussion syndrome. That had been a problem. The usually constantly-on-the-go Liv was stopped in her tracks, with little to do but retreat into herself… and find herself with all too much time to dwell on every fear that had ever troubled her. Once she let herself venture into that dark place, she’d found herself helplessly trapped there. It was difficult to tell where the concussion ended and the depression began-- a lot of the effects could so easily have been either or, if it even mattered. But Liv couldn’t concentrate. She barely had the energy to get through a day, let alone claw back any semblance of what her life had been just months prior. She was low, and she would snap at the drop of the hat. At least the headaches had finally stopped…. So, maybe what was left wasn’t directly related to the head injury. Maybe this was just who Liv was now….?

She didn’t want to be this person. She hated this person. All of her. Especially the parts that frightened her… those she’d yet to share with anyone.

Peace and quiet lasted all the time it took Liv to pick at her breakfast. She winced and put her free hand over an ear as the younger ones charged in from the snow.

“Liiiv!” Michael cried as he stampeded over, arms open wide.

Even as her body became tense, Liv didn’t want to hurt the kid’s feelings. She loved that kid.

“Good morning, Michael,” she grunted, dodging a flailing hand. “Look, I’ll give you a hug, just calm down a little, okay?”

Michael’s two brothers, Lucas and Benny, held back. They were only little-- seven and five-- and she was, in their eyes, basically a grown-up, and a rather frowny one at that. They were shy anyway… but that rejection made it quite clear to Liv that she had officially grown out of the Catalyst kid gang. Even the older, far taller Reggie seemed to be more readily accepted; most likely, Liv determined, because he was associated with his younger sisters, Erin and Immy. Erin had quickly latched onto the three newcomers, and so the Hall children had easily formed a merged group with Jake and Sean’s little clan of four. Liv was on the outside. Too brooding and serious and bad-tempered to belong.

“Livi,” Michael jabbered, “we’re gonna make Christmas cookies! In Christmas shapes! Erin is gonna do the making, and we can do decorating. Do you know we have candy canes to go on cookies? And red and green M&Ms!”

“That’s really cool, Michael,” Liv replied, painfully aware of how quiet Lucas and Benny had become the moment they rounded the doorway and saw her there.

How could she be so lonely when all she wanted was to be left alone?

Reggie took charge of supervising the kids in the kitchen, while Sean hovered in the background. Immy, Liv guessed, was joining in the rather childish activity because she couldn’t bear for her twin to be eating sweets without her. With Liv retreating toward the door, the excitement returned to Michael’s brothers’ faces. This sad new Liv wasn’t welcome, however much her old friends might try to reach out to her. So, she left.

“I’m going for a walk,” she announced sharply as she strode through the front foyer.

Maybe if it was just her… just her and La Huerta… it would all come back. Old Liv. The dauntless, vigorous adventurer. The effervescent spirit, the giver of cuddles, gymnast, eater of cake. However much Michael might miss that person, it was a drop in the ocean compared to the vast hollow feeling in Liv’s heart where her old self used to be.

Her eyebrows furrowed, Estela looked up from the fireplace, where she’d been lighting some kindling.

“I take it you’ve got your phone on you?”

Liv scowled. She knew the drill by now. And her mom knew that she knew the drill. “No, I’m going stumbling deep into yeti territory without means of contact. I’m not going far anyway.”

She never went far these days. Not since the fall.

Estela uttered a soft sigh. “I know, mija. Stupid question. Just don’t be too late, okay? Our Christmas starts at sundown.”

‘Their Christmas’. Always on Christmas Eve, every Christmas Eve. Just Liv and her moms, with her tio abuelo flitting in. It was quiet, and warm, and a reaffirmation of their bond as a family; a tradition passed on by Estela’s own mother from her childhood in Colombia. Liv didn’t want to bake Christmas cookies, she didn’t want to plaster on a fake smile for the kids and get excited over the work of an imaginary gift-giver, and she sure as fuck didn’t want to pull a shitting Christmas cracker… but to her, their Christmas Eve tradition was Christmas. And it meant the world to her mamas. All she could do was pray that piece of happiness wouldn’t be lost to her now like so many others.

Her hard expression faltered and softened. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

And she walked out into the snow. Barely had she gotten a few steps beyond the door when she found herself smack-bang in the path of Diego and Varyyn as they arrived at the Elysian.

“Argh! Sorry, Livi,” Diego gushed as he narrowly avoided crashing into her.

Liv grunted a ‘no worries’, ready to carry on her way. But then she hesitated. What she needed wasn’t to be alone. More than anything, Liv had wanted to talk to her Tio Diego. Maybe this was her chance?

“Tio,” she muttered under her breath, “come walk with me?”

Thankfully for Liv, Diego was fairly switched on to when someone needed a friend. And he was sensitive enough to know to offer that support without a big fuss.

He shrugged-- perhaps too nonchalant, but Liv appreciated it. “Sure.”

Varyyn caught on quickly. “I will let you go. It will be nice for you to catch up.” A little smile came to his face. “I did tell you, my beloved, to wear many warm clothes.”

“Ha, just as well. Save me a spot by the fire; I think I’m gonna need it.”

La Huerta was as it had always been; wild and beautiful. Breathing in its air, Liv felt something. Just a flicker. So much of her old self refused to come rushing back, even as she walked the land of her true home, but La Huerta stirred in her a swell of courage. She could do it. She could open up.

Liv felt a stab of guilt as they headed out towards the snowy ridge, her and her Tio Diego. Would her moms see this as a rejection? They’d been trying so hard to reach her… for months… but she just kept pushing them away. Then, she let Diego in just like that? On a split-second spur-of-the-moment whim? It wasn’t exactly fair.

The thing was, Diego always seemed to know what to say. After Liv’s moms, it was him that she came out to first when she knew for certain that she had romantic feelings towards girls. This time, he was first on the list. Liv had considered taking her confession to Uncle Raj; after all, he was asexual himself. But it was different. Liv might have had no desire to have sex, but she was also an utter romantic. Uncle Raj wouldn’t understand, just like her friends at school giggling about sex wouldn’t understand. Her Tio Diego might not really get it either, but he felt so safe. If she had to talk to someone… it had to be him.

He just walked with her, trudging through the snow. Not forcing conversation, just being there. Letting her know that when she was ready, he’d listen. He knew she wasn’t okay. He’d known for months. Liv was pretty sure he’d been her Mama Taylor’s sounding board as she fretted over getting her on the right anti-depressant and into the office of the right therapist. He’d reached out to her, across all those miles between them, but she hadn’t been ready. Now… now, she thought she was.

“Tio?” Then Liv stopped herself. Her heart was pounding-- could he hear it, even over the wind? Did she look as scared as she felt? She knew in her heart that he would never reject her, not for anything… so why was she so scared? Was it herself she was afraid to be honest to?

He looked at her, his expression kind. He’d be patient.

“Tio, um….” She took a deep breath. Just keep it hypothetical. “I guess I’ve been thinking about relationships a lot.” She paused. Another deep, trembling breath. Hopefully it just looked like she was shivering with the cold. “Would it be like… a terrible thing if you wanted to kiss someone, to be romantic with them; even… even if you don’t want to have sex? Would that be like… leading someone on? Sex is why everyone does all that shit in the first place, right? That’s the goal.”

There was an immediate dawning in Diego’s eyes, and Liv flushed fiercely. Congrats, me, you just came out as ace.

“Okay… okay….” Obviously, he knows we’re talking about me. Even still, Liv didn’t want to say it. Not quite yet. “So… um….” She was eternally grateful for his patience with her as she laboriously organised her thoughts. His expression was always kind, full of love for her, and not a trace of judgement.

“It’s just like…,” she said at last, “everyone goes on like it’s the best thing ever, and you’re like ‘eh, maybe I’ll try it someday, but I just don’t care enough to want it’. But it’s all anyone ever wants to talk about. It’s what they see when they look at you. And you just… you just want to love someone, without having to worry about any of that.”

“And that,” Diego ventured gently, “that’s how you feel?”

Liv took a moment, then nodded stiffly. “When… you were at school, and all the other boys just wanted to talk about having sex with girls… did you feel like that?”

“Hoo boy. That’s going back. But, yeah. That sounds really familiar. I tried faking it, going along with whatever it was the other guys would laugh about, but it never felt right.”

Liv breathed a big sigh of relief. It was different-- of course it was-- but her tio understood. That ‘otherness’. And he didn’t see her as an ‘other’, just as Liv.

“Why do teenagers have to be so fucking horny?”

Diego coughed and spluttered. “It’s all pretty new and exciting, I guess,” he managed at last. “Personally, I was too busy frantically trying to hide who I actually was for any of those inner thoughts to be publicly broadcast. And more than anything, I was caught up in this distant dream of holding the hand of a boy I liked, who liked me back… and just walking down the street, not even caring.”

“I’d like to hold someone’s hand like that.”

“Yeah?”

Liv nodded. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry…. “Yeah.”

For a little while, there was silence between them. Liv’s heart was still pounding a tattoo against her chest, now more exhilaration than nerves. She’d done it; said it out loud. It was thrilling, but she might just choke herself trying not to cry.

“I… don’t feel like me anymore,” she at last managed to force out.

“Since the fall?”

“...yeah. Since the fall.”

They settled down at the edge of the snowy outcrop overlooking the valley in which the Elysian was nestled. Liv looked out, seeing her cousins-- both those by blood and those by heart-- playing together beneath the perfect clear sky. She was so apart from it…. From her family.

“Christmas is shit,” she spat. “Because some baby is supposedly born thousands of years ago, we’re meant to plaster on smiles and be all singing and laughing and be fucking happy… but actually, you end up watching everyone else being fucking happy, and it feels like you’re broken.”

Down in the valley, Reggie was pulling Michael and Benny around on a little wooden sled while they shrieked with laughter. Liv didn’t imagine how she’d even begin to find her way back into that kind of carefree fun. Would her friends still be waiting for her when she did?

“You’re not alone, okay?” Diego said gently. “Whenever you feel ready to talk to your moms about all this, I’m pretty sure that if you want her to, your Mama Tay’s gonna be able to hook you up with people who are a lot like you. This sort of thing is basically her specialty.”

“Yeah… I know.” Liv stared straight ahead, shame creeping up on her. It was becoming a near-constant companion. “I think that’s… um, part of the reason why I didn’t want to talk to my moms. Mama Taylor’s whole job is to help people like me who aren’t okay; I feel like it’s really bumming her out that she can’t stop her own daughter from being depressed.”

Diego went to hug Liv, but hesitated. He knew that these days, she preferred not to be touched. But Liv closed the gap between the two of them herself, leaning against his chest, seeking comfort.

That respect meant the world.

“It’s okay,” she said, shakily. “I… I’d really like a hug right now.”

Liv exhaled as her tio put his arms gently around her. How long had it been since she’d let anyone, bar little Michael, hug her? Months, for sure. Did she want to be hugged? Had she just been punishing herself all that time? She didn’t know anymore… but she knew she wanted her tio to keep on holding her. Making her safe.

“You know, she’s your mom. She’s probably been beating herself up over every grazed knee and every time you’ve come home crying from school, since you were born. But she’d rather feel bad that you’re hurting and know about it, than feel like she can’t be there for you. Your moms love you so much; they wanna be in your corner.”

Liv realised how truly lucky she was to have love like that; unconditional. Her tio hadn't had that.

“I’ve been a kind of an asshole to them recently.” Again, her cheeks flushed red. She imagined she must be this obvious glowing beacon in the snowy landscape. “But I’m guessing you already know that.”

“Oh, yes. Mama Taylor’s got to vent somewhere, and that’s pretty much always been my job. Anyway, I can guess they’ve been pissy with you right back.”

Liv gave a sad little chuckle. “Well, yeah. I can tell they’re trying not to react, but sometimes I manage to hit the wrong buttons. They always apologise afterwards… makes me feel like even more of a jerk.”

“You’re not a jerk, Livita. You’re struggling. It’s hard to be all sunshine and roses when it feels false.”

She breathed deep. It was okay. She was still her… still Liv. A Liv who was lost in a dark fog, but still wanted, still loved.

Diego kissed her forehead. “They’re just worried about you. It can be crazy frustrating when someone you love is obviously not okay, but you can’t seem to help them.”

“It’s hard… sometimes,” Liv said softly. “They’re all in love, and it’s great and all-- happy family and all that jazz. But I’m so terrified no one’s ever gonna love me like that… because of the way I am. I don’t mean to take it out on my moms, like I’m this horrible, bitter person, but sometimes it just comes out. And I hate myself for it.” Aaaand I’m just even more certain no one could ever love me. Tears prickled her eyes, and before she could stop herself, she was weeping. Goddammit!

Diego rocked her in his arms, and she cried there.

“You’re a pretty amazing person, mija. Not in spite of all the things about you that you think are weird-- because of those things. You’re great because you’re unapologetically you. That’s scary; I know it’s scary. But someday, probably when you least expect it, someone’s gonna see all that-- all of you-- and just love you to bits. If you’re anything like me, it’ll happen when you’re at your very loneliest point… so you can’t give up hope. Something-- someone-- special might be waiting right there if you just brave one more day.”

She didn’t feel brave. She felt lonely. But there with her tio, she felt it just a little less.

“I love you, Tio,” Liv sniffed.

“I love you too. And I’m always here for you. In your corner.”

“I, er, I think I wanna tell my moms. Like, I feel better after talking to you. Maybe I’ll feel better again. I think I will.”

Liv laughed. “Oh, god! She would!” Then she just couldn’t stop laughing. Where did that even come from? Maybe… maybe there was a trail-- faint, but present-- out of this dark fog after all.

#endless summer fanfiction #choices endless summer #csyp #fanfic #not mine #marmolady #estela montoya #estela x mc #liv montoya #wlw #diego soto #diego x varyyn #tio diego is the best #FACT

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sopewriters · 8 years ago

Text

First and Last | 01

Pairing: Jung Hoseok | J-Hope X Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst; Business!AU

Word Count: 7.3K

Warning(s): Min Yoongi; public sex, thigh-fucking, exhibitionism, slight praise kink, clothed sex, dirty talk, slight degradation

Note: This is the first time in a long time that I’ve written a fic, especially one that passes 3k haha. There should be a second (and maybe third) part, to conclude, so look out for that, I guess. I hope you enjoy reading this tho :)

Even with the light filtering through your window, your apartment looks bleak. Shades of grey coloring every inch of your space, crowding you in when you look for even a sliver of color. Perhaps it’s symbolic of your mood, your worst fears come to life. Perhaps, it’s a sign. A sign that you need to move on, look for a new palette to color your life.

You clutch your blankets closer to yourself, unwilling to part with perhaps the only thing that’s keeping you grounded. Eyes squeezed shut, you inhale deeply, hearing nothing but the sound of your steadily thumping heart. A sign that you’re alive, even after everything that’s happened.

You still remember the day that changed it all. The day that led you down this path…

“Y/N,” Your boss sits behind his desk, mouth in a firm line, “I hope you understand that this is the chance of a lifetime. Other reporters would be falling over themselves for this, but I’m entrusting you with it.”

“I understand, sir.” You nod nervously, forcing yourself not to fidget on the spot, “I’ll try my best.”

“’Trying’ isn’t going to cut it, this time.” He interrupts, dark eyes boring into yours, “You cannot mess this up, understood?”

Your boss looks terrifying at that moment, stern face highlighted in the lavender lighting of his room. You nod once again, before quickly turning tail and leaving the room. You’ve noticed, from experience, that it’s best never to cross the man, or his judgment; not unless you plan on losing your job.

By the time you get back to your desk, you see your friend’s anxious eyes peering at you from the top of the separation of your cubicles. You roll your eyes, knowing that he thinks you’ve been screwed over which, in a way, you have been.

“Well?” He asks you finally, as you nonchalantly work in silence, “What’d he say?”

One brief glance at his wide, worried eyes changes your mind, and you sigh tiredly, before giving him a tight smile.

“Don’t worry, Jimin.” You say reassuringly—or, at least, you hope you do—but Jimin’s expression doesn’t falter in the slightest, “I just got a new project to work on.”

“Really?” He perks up rather adorably, in a way that most of your co-workers would call ‘endearing’, and slouches in obvious relief, “So, what is it then?”

You steel yourself, taking in a deep breath.

“I need to get into the Midsummer Gala. Undercover.”

There’s a brief silence, between the two of you, that makes your skin prickle uncomfortably. Two beats later, you hear a loud, agitated cackle: Jimin, with his hands running through his fire-truck red hair.

“You’re kidding, right?!” He asks you hysterically, panic-stricken smile frozen firmly on his face slowly melting into a desperate, teary look, “Tell me you’re kidding. Please.”

“I wish.” You smile sadly at him, trying to keep your own panicked thoughts away, “I always used to joke around about being a journalist undercover, but now that it’s actually happening…”

You look down at your hands, wringing them anxiously, “It’s terrifying.”

Jimin continues to look at you with his sad brown eyes; almost like he’s already seeing you on your death bed.

“Can you cut the staring, though?” You finally snap at him, before flushing guiltily at his hurt expression, “It’s just… I don’t feel great about this, and your sad eyes are making it worse.”

He cracks a small smile at that, raising an eyebrow, “Sad eyes?”

“Sad EyesTM,” You say, grinning back, though the words don’t alleviate the weight in your chest, “Actually.”

“Okay, okay, so let me get this straight.” Jimin paces in front of you, as you’re perched on your bed, back at your apartment. The sun is setting, though it still manages to cast a pretty glow on his soft features.

“Go ahead.” You interrupt his self-monologue lazily, stretching, though every part of you is tense.

He glares at you for a brief moment, before his eyes soften, and he exhales heavily.

“You basically need to get into the Midsummer Gala: only the biggest and, not to mention, most well-protected celebrity event in the country?”

“Yep.”

“Add to that the fact that you aren’t receiving any external assistance; the Boss said no?”

“Mm-hm.”

“So, basically,” He concludes then, flopping onto the bed with you, “You’re totally fucked. Do you even have a dress for the thing? You know it’s only next week, and you’re gonna need a pretty expensive dress.”

“Oh shit.” You breath out in horror, sitting up straight, “I totally forgot!”

“Oh, so now she panics.” Jimin mutters to himself, before sitting up with you, “Did the Boss say why you’re going in?”

“Oh, he wants me to get an interview or something with the CEO of Jung & Co.” You release, “Or, at the very least, a report of the general happenings. Celebrity gossip. You know the deal.”

“I thought you wanted to be an editorial writer, not a…” Jimin’s mouth scrunches as he bites out, “A gossip columnist.”

“What can I do?” You complain somberly, flopping back onto the bed, “I’ve got to work my way up, Jimin.”

“Yeah, I’m much happier in the Music section.” Jimin counters, “I’ll look around for someone to help you. I don’t care what our boss says: this would be a suicide mission otherwise.”

“Thank you.” You whisper gratefully, before throwing your arm around your friend’s warm body, “Thank you so, so much.”

“You owe me.” He grumbles, but you can hear the smile in his voice even so.

It turns out that Jimin manages to find you someone who can get you in.

“You realize,” You say slowly, after he tells you the news giddily, “That all this time…you could have gotten in if you wanted to?”

“And do what?” Jimin scoffs, nose upturned haughtily, “I’m already living a lavish life.”

The two of you stare at each other for a moment, and start guffawing helplessly, to the point that tears spring into your eyes. It’s not even really that funny; it’s just that…it’s been so long since you’ve been able to relax even the slightest bit.

“Oh man,” You wipe your eyes quickly, still giggling, “Don’t pull that on me ever again, Park Jimin.”

“Pull what?” He looks at you innocently, making you cuff him at his neck, “OW! Okay, okay, I get it!”

“That’s what I thought.” You huff, before there’s a lull in conversation, “The party is on Friday night, and today’s…”

“Tuesday.” Jimin supplies helpfully, “Meaning you’ve got roughly two-and-a-half days to find the right dress and everything.”

“I think you mean ‘to get money for it’.” You groan, “Shouldn’t the company be paying for this?”

“I think he just wants to fire you.” Jimin says solemnly, and you toss a pillow at him for his efforts, “What, it’s true!”

“Shut up, you aren’t helping.” Rolling your eyes, you stand up and crack your fingers, “I need to start earning some money on the side for this.”

“And,” You continue, startling Jimin when your hands land heavily on his shoulders, “If I don’t get a pay raise when all this is over, I’m going to fuck some bitches up.”

The moment is entirely ruined, of course, when Jimin cracks up.

Your boss, luckily, grants you leave for the next few days, much to your relief. It means you can take on a couple of extra jobs on to buy a suitable dress. With the way things are going, the money you currently have in your account—all from your actual job—is barely enough to buy an acceptable dress. And, if you don’t fit in with the crowd, you’re basically busted from the first step.

Plus, you’ll lose your job, so there’s that.

You work hard, day and night, grinding your weary bones to their limit. You’re honestly done, and a part of you tells you not to do this, to look for another job if need be, but the company you’re at is prestigious, even if the Boss is a slave driver. You have your sights set on this rich, midnight blue gown you saw in a store near your workplace. It’s actually high-end, which is why you need to earn so much. And, gosh, is it hard.

But all your hard work pays off, of course it does. You finally earn enough to safely get that dress, and the elation bubbling in your chest as you leave the store, wallet decidedly empty but arms full, makes you feel happy. Jubilant. Exuberant.

“I did it, Jimin!” You crow excitedly into the phone, arm secure around the package containing your dress, “I…I can’t believe it myself, but I did it!”

“Seriously?” Jimin sounds nearly as excited as you—and why wouldn’t he be? —as he undoubtedly jumps around in happiness, “Everything paid off in the end, didn’t it Y/N?”

“Yeah, it did.” You stand under the store roof’s shade as you smile softly, “You were right, Jimin.”

“Of course, I was.” There’s a pause, before he speaks again, “You know what, we need to celebrate. I’ll come over to your place around 8 and we can—”

“Binge on TV shows?” You cut in eagerly, “Or, oh! Movie marathon!”

“…Yeah, that’s fine.” He sounds amused, “Talk to you later then. Bye.”

There’s still a couple of hours before Jimin comes over, so you decide to stall going home for a bit. Cracking a wide yawn, you aimlessly amble down the street, package tucked securely under your arm again, until you reach your favorite café.

You don’t get to go there as often, now, but you used to be a regular customer. Their caramel macchiato was to die for, and you’re sure it still must be as amazing. And, while you could go to regular coffee joints, you’ll always hold this one close to your heart.

The doors open with a gentle tinkle at your push, and you feel gratified that there isn’t much of a rush today. The café looks just as you remembered, you muse, as you walk. It’s airy and spacious, with lots of windows filtering in the sunlight in order to cast the room in a pleasant glow. There are some new additions, of course; a couple of pictures hung up on the wall, here and there. An odd vase of flowers placed on a table.

Since you’re busy seeing all of this you, obviously, have walk smack into someone. The world spins dizzyingly, as your butt makes a hard contact with the ground, pain spiking up your spine at the impact. Which would be fine, you know, if whoever you crashed into didn’t have coffee. Which is boiling hot, and currently splashed all over your package.

“No!” You cry in dismay, still on the ground. Fumbling fingers hastily tear open the wrapping, and, much to your horror, find that the coffee has soaked through. In essence, there’s a huge, brown spot decorating your beautiful, expensive dress.

“YOU!” You cry, attracting the stare of the few customers standing around; the guy in question, who was trying to leave, suddenly freezes up, and turns around with narrowed eyes, “Look what you did!”

The man is wearing an expensive-looking suit—probably worth your entire paycheck—and has charcoal hair to contrast his white pallor. His dark eyes scream of authority, and judgment: two things you are normally deathly afraid of. But, right now, you feel as if your life has been ripped away from you. By him.

“Excuse me?” He inquires in polite disinterest, though his eyes flash in distaste at the sight of you on the ground, “What did I do? You should have watched where you were going.”

“Watched where—” You laugh hysterically, cutting yourself off, “Are you for real?! This dress is worth more than my normal paycheck and you just ruined it!”

“Just get it dry cleaned, for Christ’s sake.” The man mutters, turning around again, but something overcomes you, and you grasp onto his sleeve with all your strength as you get up.

“I don’t have the time to do that!” You press your lips into a thin line, “I need it by tomorrow!”

Today is Thursday. Tomorrow is Friday: Gala day. And the dry-cleaners would only be able to get it to you by Monday. You are so screwed.

What you do next is something you aren’t proud of (but Jimin is, when you tell him about it). You burst into tears.

The man is clearly taken aback by this, eyes widening in poorly concealed shock. He can hear the murmur of the other customers too, all about the poor girl, she doesn’t deserve this. Hence why he decides to take care of it before it can become a bigger mess.

“Jesus Christ, fine.” He grits out, taking out an expensive looking phone, and tapping away at it, before holding it to his ear.

You watch him, still sniffling, as you struggle to wipe the tears from your eyes and hold your ruined dress at the same time.

“Yeah, I need you to do something for me.” You hear the man mutter into the phone, “I need you to buy a dress…no, I don’t have a fucking girlfriend…measurements?”

He stares at you pensively, making you squirm uncomfortably, before he looks back.

“I’ll send you a picture, yeah.” He finishes, “Thanks, Hobi.”

He looks at his phone for a brief second, before meeting your confused eyes.

“I need to take a picture of you for the measurements. And I’ll need your address as well.”

“Measurements?” You ask in alarm, “Address?”

“Yes, for your new dress.” He rolls his eyes, “I can’t deal with a crying woman, right now.”

“New…dress?” You stutter to yourself, and only react when the man is putting his phone down, picture already taken, “Hey!”

“Relax.” He rolls his eyes, “Address?”

“How am I supposed to trust you?” Your heart thumps in fear, “What if you’re some kind of creep?”

He looks like he’s seriously pondering that, before he reaches his hand into his suit pocket and pulling something out: a business card.

It’s got some fancy sort of embroidery, and you look at it:

Jung & Co.

Min Yoongi

Director of Finances

Phone Number: +82-9-873-XXXX

Jung & Co…? It sounds familiar, and your eyes grow wide when you realize that this is the company that you’re supposed to interview tomorrow. Min Yoongi doesn’t seem to care as you gawk uselessly at the card, and only raises an eyebrow at you.

“Are you going to stand there all day?”

“Uh, right.” You clear your throat nervously, and recite your address, which he taps into his sleek phone with quick fingers.

“You’ll get it by tomorrow morning, at the latest.” He tells you, continuing his way out.

You don’t get to say anything in response, only left staring at the formidable man’s back with a coffee-stained dress in hand, until he disappears.

“You met Min Yoongi?!” Jimin shrieks in excitement when you tell him about everything, that night, “The Min Yoongi?”

“Yeah, he’s a director in Jung & Co.” You say sadly, staring at Kat Dennings’ frozen face on TV, “I hope he doesn’t turn up tomorrow.”

“Why wouldn’t he turn up?!” Jimin’s eyes grow wide with shock, “Y/N, he’s CEO Jung’s oldest son!”

“…What?” You question blankly, unable to process those words.

“I can’t believe this.” Jimin mutters to himself, before raising his voice, “Y/N, the CEO has three sons: Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok and Jung Jungkook.”

“Why do they have different surnames?” Your face twists in confusion, and he sighs.

“He had two wives. Jungkook and Yoongi have the same mother, but Yoongi chose to take on his mother’s maiden name.”

“Yikes.” You scrunch your nose in distaste, “I should…probably research more about the company, before tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” He looks at you, eyes piercing, “You should. The marathon can wait.”

“Yeah.”

Your conviction lasts for all of two seconds, before you flop back.

“What the hell, just press play!”

“I can do this.” You chant to yourself, as you stare at the large, sprawling mansion in front of you, “Damn it, I should have done my research.”

Then, your mind flashes back to last night, and you giggle lightly to yourself. Never mind, you don’t regret it.

You’re currently standing at the entrance to the party venue, having gotten through security with some help from Jimin’s godsend (“Kim Taehyung, at your service!”). You’re draped in a beautiful purple dress that shimmers wonderfully in the light, which undoubtedly costs more than your midnight dress did.

You remember nearly choking on your spit when you took the garment out of its package, in the morning. It was…not a very delightful experience, needless to say. But the dress truly is beautiful: it was then, and it is now.

“I could’ve done with a partner, for this thing.” You murmur to yourself, as you walk in through the grandiose entrance. However, there’s no time to complain further, nor is it possible, because your breath is taken away, just one step in.

“Holy shit.” You breathe out, “Holy shit.”

It is the epitome of all things expensive. Of everything you’ve seen in the movies; a wide, arching ceiling, with golden-white chandeliers hanging from them, a bubbling fountain as a centerpiece, decorated with pearls. The party guests, of course, wearing their fancy dresses and suits, with polite chatter mingling in the air.

You feel very out of place, but you are a woman on a mission. You’ve got work to do.

You manage to dodge most of the people standing in groups, polite smile affixed to your face. You’re looking for someone in specific; a Mr. Jung, in fact. As you walk, though, you notice people’s eyes drifting towards you, something akin to grudging respect in their eyes. But, why would they do that?

You have no idea, nor do you wish to find out.

You startle, though, when you feel icy cold fingers circling your wrist, and bite your lip so that you don’t scream; instead, you turn around with a stiff smile, wanting to get it over with so that you could find the CEO of Jung & Co, interview him, and go home.

“Yes…?” You trail off, eyes widening with shock when you see the same man from yesterday: Min Yoongi, “Oh no.”

“You’re not supposed to be here.” He deduces correctly, raising an eyebrow, “It’s interesting that this is what you wanted this dress for.”

“Yeah, well.” You flush uncomfortably under his gaze, and are only really saved when someone else enters your conversation.

“Hyung!” They call softly, and your eyes drift to them, taking in a lean man with soft brown hair and gorgeous, bronze skin in pure breathlessness, “Father’s looking for you.”

There’s something akin to sadness in his hazel brown eyes, when they mention their dad, and you see a similar sight in Yoongi’s usually expressionless eyes, before even that disappears.

“Right.” He turns his piercing gaze back to you, prompting the other man to look at you as well, “I’ll be back. Don’t go anywhere.”

“What?” You stutter in disbelief, “I—you can’t tell me what to do—!”

“Hoseok, stay with her.” Yoongi tells the other man—Hoseok, the second son—before sneering at you menacingly and leaving.

Hoseok rolls his eyes, but smiles softly at you, extending his hand for you to shake.

“I’m Jung Hoseok.” He introduces himself, “Are you Yoongi’s girlfriend?”

You took his hand to shake it but, at the question, drop it immediately, mouth literally hanging open.

“Y-Yoongi’s…girlfriend?!” You splutter in poorly disguised shock, “N-No way! And, uh, I’m Y/N.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.” He shrugs, heart-shaped smile still on his lips, “It’s just that he never talks to anyone, especially not girls.”

“Unfortunate circumstances caused us to meet.” You let out, though that’s all you plan to say. Because, an idea is forming in your head…

Your boss told you that if you can’t get an interview with CEO Jung, to do an article on the party in general. You don’t really feel like doing all of that, but you do have a much better option right now.

“I see.” Hoseok is saying, eyes soft, “Yoongi told me to stay with you, though, so we’ll have to stick together.”

“Wonderful.” You frown, “Do I really need to listen to him?”

“Aw, why so sad?” He looks down at you with a warm gaze that causes you to flush lightly and, when you try for a twitch of the lips to counter it, chuckles, “There you go. You look much more beautiful with a smile.”

You’re sure your face must be beet red by now, but Hoseok thankfully doesn’t comment on it.

“C’mon,” He holds out his hand for you, and he makes a pretty picture—decked out in a royal blue suit, with cheeks flushed and a beatific smile—like that, “Let’s get away from this mess, shall we?”

“Okay.” You beam at him and take the proffered hand—everything is falling into place, “Where to?”

He just flashes you a secretive grin, and tugs you along.

It turns out there’s some sort of secret garden or something in the secluded corner of the mansion—and it is stunning.

“Oh my god.” You gawk at it, before turning to meet Hoseok’s amused gaze, “I know I said I hate walking, but it was worth coming all the way over here!”

“You like it?” He asks you, eyebrow quirked up, and at your happy nod, continues, “Then you won’t mind if I brought this along?”

He raises his fist, which is closed around a bottle of champagne. You stare at it for a bit, a voice in your head screaming at you to not drink on the job, but really, your bored. And besides, this could even help you along.

“Bring it on.” You smirk at him with fake confidence, “I bet I can outdrink you.”

“Oh?” A skeptical smile plays across his lips, “I’d like to see that.”

You aren’t sure how many gulps later…maybe six? Or seven? In any case, Hoseok still looks infuriatingly put together, while you start to lose your shit, vision dimming mockingly.

“I-I don’t want to lose my job!” You hiccup sadly, as Hoseok pats your back reassuringly, “I’m already broke, and this just would make it so much worse!”

“How’d you get in here, if you’re so broke, then?” He asks in curiosity, but you’ve got your wits about you enough to dodge that question.

“D-Doesn’t matter!” You say sternly, and he shrugs. There’s only silence, after that, where the two of you are left looking up at the stars.

You grow bored of doing that, though, and turn to eye Hoseok instead, breath catching in your throat. He looks really beautiful like that, face tilted upward, eyes full of the stars. The moonlight catching on his bronze skin makes him look ethereal, and makes you to move closer to him.

“What is i-it?” He turns to face you, only to stutter at the sudden proximity, “W-Wait, Y/N, what’re you—?”

“You look really pretty like this.” You murmur, and the hitch in his breath prompts you to lean forward, eyes fluttering shut.

The soft press of his lips against yours feels perfect. There are no firecrackers, nothing like the books describe…but it’s soft and warm and wonderful. He’s frozen in shock, as your fingers tangle in his hair, and his hands come to push you away, but no, you want the warmth back.

“Y/N, you’re drunk.” The flush on his cheeks makes him look even more irresistible, even as he stutters and looks away, “Y-You don’t know what you’re d-doing.”

You lunge at him, making him gasp in surprise as the he tumbles onto the grass, with you landing perfectly on top of him. You’re lucky your dress isn’t skin-tight or anything, or things would be very different.

“You talk too much.” You giggle lightly, before leaning down and kissing him again, harder and more fervently this time, and ah, there are the fireworks. When Hoseok actually starts to respond, soft lips moving desperately against your own, a thrill runs up your spine. Maybe it’s the alcohol that’s lowered your inhibitions, but you want more, and your unhesitant of showing it.

“Y/N!” He gasps sharply, when you roll your hips against his; his hands scrabble to find purchase at your waist, “You’ll regret this tomorrow, stop!”

“Why don’t you make me?” You question, core steadily dampening, “Jung Hoseok.”

“I…I…” He looks conflicted, before a nip to his exposed throat, and a well-timed roll of your hips, makes his eyes roll back, “Oh fuck!”

“I’d like that.” You purr, meeting his lips with yours again, “Aren’t you interested?”

He freezes, before slumping.

“Alright, fine.” He bites out, and the world spins as he flips you over easily, staring down at you with dark, lusty eyes, “But it’s on my terms.”

You nod eagerly, willing to give anything to just feel more of him. The champagne really must have done a number on you, because you aren’t normally like this…especially not on the job. But right now, it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters, except for the feel of his skin against yours.

“Good.” He says, and an unexpected warmth flushes through you at the praise, but you don’t dwell on it much longer as he hikes the skirts of your dress up, exposing your legs to the chilly air. You shiver at the cold, but it does nothing to deter you.

You realize that Hoseok is hunched over you, with your dress spread all around you, cheeks equally as pink as yours. You realize that anyone could walk in on this, on him giving you everything. And you just throb at that, giddiness overcoming you at the thrill of that happening.

“What’s this?” Hoseok’s fingers brush against your damp panties, with an amused glint in his eye at your stuttered breath, “I didn’t think you’d be this excited.”

“Damn it, Hoseok.” You groan, pushing down slightly to prompt him to just touch, touch and don’t leave anything behind, “Just do it, please!”

“Do what?” He obligingly pulls your underwear aside, to press gently at your dribbling slit, “This?”

“You know what I mean.” You growl, though his sly innocence makes an unbearable heat pool between your legs, “Please.”

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” He smiles at you, “I better treat the princess with care, hm?”

And your mouth opens in a breathy moan when he slides a finger inside you, the slight burn of the stretch making it all the better. He just uses that one finger, though, pumping it steadily in and out of you, but it’s not enough, not even close, and he knows it.

You whine embarrassingly, but he seems to find it pleasurable, because he considerately slips in another finger, scissoring you with a steady hand. Two becomes three, and you nearly sob in relief when he twists them just right, to brush against your g-spot, making stars explode behind your closed eyelids.

“Yes, there!” You struggle to keep your voice down, just in case someone might overhear, and it makes Hoseok move even closer to you, mouth brushing against the lobe of your ear.

“You like this?” His voice shouldn’t ever be this husky, but you can’t focus on anything but the slow, meaningful movements of his fingers, rubbing against that one spot, and his dark, dirty words.

“I bet you’d like it if someone walked in on us.” He whispers to you, hot breath hitting the sensitive skin of your neck in spurts, “You’d like that too, right? You’d like for them to see me fucking you, owning your dirty little cunt.”

You can’t breathe, heart hammering wildly against your chest as he speaks to you in the same hushed tone, fingers doing their part inside you. It’s like you can’t bring yourself to move, just lie there and let him take and take and take. And, the worst part?

You love it.

“You want my cock, baby?” He asks you, smirking, and gods, he should be illegal, “Want me to open you right up?”

“Or would you be okay with anyone, hm?” He pulls back his fingers, so that they’re barely inside you, “Look at your little hole, clenching around my fingers like that. You’re desperate, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” You moan, eyes wide and frantic as you try to get your bearings right, “Let me cum, please.”

“I didn’t even need to ask.” His red lips curl up, and his dark eyes bore into yours, “You really are a slut.”

“N-No—” You try to defend yourself, shuddering through your arousal, but Hoseok cuts you off.

“How about a little test?” He challenges you, fingers unmoving, “If you want to cum so badly, then why don’t you fuck yourself on my fingers like a good little doll? Or, if you’d prefer not to, I could just leave you here.”

He moves his lips closer to yours, “You can try to find your own release, staying. Right. Here. Someone might even find you, help you out to get their dicks wet. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

At the frantic shake of your head, he laughs, “then why don’t you get to it, before I lose my patience?”

It’s humiliating, but your juices continue to leak out of you, as you grind against his fingers helplessly. No matter how you angle your hips, they don’t strike the right spot, and it’s so frustrating.

“Why’re you crying?” He asks you, eyes showing only the barest hint of alarm, and you shake your head.

“I w-want to cum.” You choke out in desperation, “But I c-can’t!”

“C’mere.” He pulls his fingers out, before tugging you up and seating you comfortably on his lap. He hikes the skirts of your dress up, so that your dripping core is completely exposed to anyone who might be coming by, and pushes the digits back in.

“Is this better?” He asks you, but chuckles when your walls clench around him, “Figures.”

He makes quick work of you then, pumping his fingers in and out of you steadily. You can feel his bulge pressing against the cleft of your ass, and can’t help but grind against it, making him stiffen imperceptibly. It feels so good, lying there and letting him do what he wants, just putty in his skilled hands. At this point, you don’t care if anyone really comes and sees, because you’re entirely focused on chasing the pain-pleasure-pain-pleasure that he promises.

“You’re close, right?” He groans into your ear, “I can feel your pussy squeezing around me, so you must be. And you’re getting my fingers all dirty, you little slut.”

“S-Sorry.” You can’t help but squeeze out, “Oh G-od!”

“That’s it,” He coaxes you closer to your climax, pushing you to the brink, “Come for me, baby.”

And it’s like a switch turns on, at the sound of his voice, and with one final gasp, your vision swims white, legs trembling erratically as your core squeezes lustily around his fingers. You’re lost, swimming in everything that’s him, and you don’t ever want to leave.

Your mouth parts instinctively for his fingers, and you tiredly suck around them like he suggests, knowing that your cleaning your own juices off the slender digits.

“Good girl.” He praises you headily, before your back is on the grass, “I think it’s only fair for me to get my share too, right?”

A faint sense of alarm is triggered in your brain, and Hoseok seems to know what you’re thinking, because he pushes you back, with a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry, I won’t fuck you.” He nips at your throat, “We can save that for another time, babe. Instead…”

You hear the sound of a zipper and take the chance, looking at the stars above instead of what Hoseok is doing. The grass isn’t prickly, and the weather is pleasant; it’s making you grow increasingly sleepier.

The drag of Hoseok’s fingers across your sensitive clit has you mewling, and he pauses, before pressing against it firmly. Your legs jerk, and you instinctively whimper at the overstimulation.

“Relax, babe.” He says, collecting more of your juices on his fingers, “Just let me take care of you.”

So, you stay quiet, something in you telling you that you can trust him. Call it a reporter’s instinct, but Hoseok just screams of trustworthiness.

Your eyes widen, though, when you see his slather his cock with it, mouth going dry at the size. You know he said he won’t fuck you, but…

He slides his cock close to your pussy, grazing against it, but never quite entering you.

“Close your thighs.” He instructs you, warm hands pushing your legs together, so that your thighs enclose his throbbing length, “That’s a good girl.”

You grow flustered at the praise, and your arousal spikes again, dribbling more onto his cock, much to his delight.

“You like that?” His fingers card through your hair, as he begins to rut against your thighs, “L-Like me praising you? Telling you what a good little bitch you are for me?”

“Y-Yes!” You cry, as his member rubs against your swollen clit, “Oh, please!”

“That’s it.” He pins you down, fucking into your thighs with renewed vigor, “Next time, I’ll fuck you properly. You’ll be begging for more, by the end of it, even when everything in you screams for it to stop.”

“You’ll grow addicted to my cock, won’t you?” He sucks harshly into your collar bone, “My good little slut.”

“Yes, oh God!” This is a situation spiraling out of control, but you can’t find it in you to try and stop—the pleasure, it’s addicting, and it feels so, so right, “Hoseok—!”

“I’ve got you.”

Only the moon is a witness to your passion that night, when the two of you curl around each other, and Hoseok sprays the inside of your thighs with white. It drips onto the grass, and you’re worried it might have gotten on your dress, but the brunette takes out a handkerchief to wipe you off gently.

It feels nice, the soothing rub of his cloth-covered fingers against your skin, and you find yourself drifting off in almost no time at all…

You wake up to a soft warmth, and sigh, snuggling into it. Your eyelids feel heavy, crusted, so you don’t bother opening them, instead trying to get back to sleep. Unfortunately, that’s when you realize that nothing in your bed has ever been this soft, and your eyes snap open.

Immediately recoiling at the sudden intensity of the light, you groan and try to get off the bed: a bad idea when your vision is so limited. You end up tripping on your gown—you forgot you were even wearing it—but manage to find purchase with a wall. You stand there, for a few seconds, until your sight finally adjusts.

Your jaw drops, because this most certainly is not your room.

The room is decorated in shades of beige and brown—warm colors—with the giant, king-sized bed clearly serving as the centerpiece. There’s a desk in the corner, your phone and purse placed on it, with an ornately carved chair to match, and there are two doors adjacent to each other.

Of course, none of this really matters to you when the door creaks open and nearly gives you a heart attack. You stare at it with wide eyes, as a brunette man walks in, eyes soft and cheeks…pink?

“W-What’s going on?” You ask defensively, instinctively huddling against the wall, “Why am I here?”

He looks at you with surprise coating his features.

“Don’t you remember?” He asks, hazel eyes wide with surprise, “I’m Hoseok.”

“Hoseok…?” You mutter to yourself, and everything hits you at once, making you flush from your head to your toe, “Oh no.”

“Oh, so you do remember.” Hoseok chuckles awkwardly, eyes cast on the floor, “I, um, was going to ask if you wanted me to get you some clothes or something, from one of the maids…”

“Uh,” You look down at your dress, before murmuring quietly, “Yeah, that’d be nice, thank you.”

“Alright.” He pauses hesitantly, and you watch him with wide eyes, “Could we…talk about this when you’re done?”

“Yeah, sure.” You say, though it lacks enthusiasm. He seems to agree, but nods at you before quickly walking out.

You flop on the bed, taking your head in your hands. You cannot believe this is happening. This is not happening.

“Why am I such an idiot?” You groan quietly into the silence, “Why did I drink?”

You can’t hold your liquor too well, and the fact that it was champagne yesterday…well, it got you drunk faster than ever before. You made a bad decision yesterday, and you know it.

“And what am I supposed to write for the article?” You whine quietly to yourself, before startling and nearly falling off the bed when the door swings open.

A middle-aged woman with auburn hair walks in, entirely dressed in white. She’s carrying some things in her hands—namely, clothes, much to your relief.

“Here you go, Miss.” She sets the garments on the bed gently, before turning to you, “The Young Master wanted me to inform you that the bathroom is fully stocked with any essentials you might need.”

“He would also like for you to use this,” She hands over a small looking remote, with a single red button, “To call for him once you’re finished.”

“Oh, thank you.” You blush, though you’re not quite sure why. You curse yourself for showing this kind of weakness.

She gives you a polite smile, before stepping out the room, door shutting as she goes. You stare at the door for a couple of seconds, before quickly locking it and rushing to grab your phone on the table. You need to call Jimin.

Picking up your phone, you hurriedly press the home button, only to blanche when the screen doesn’t light up. A couple of tries later, your fears are confirmed.

Your phone’s dead. Wonderful.

Seeing no other choice, you decide to go use the bathroom, and get dressed as quickly as you can. The faster you do that, the faster you can get home, simple as.

You stop short when you actually see the bathroom.

“This is beautiful.” You whisper reverently, “Beautiful.”

Your bath, needless to say, takes longer than planned.

“So.” Hoseok takes a seat from across you, looking literally everywhere but at you, “We need to talk, I guess.”

“Uh, yeah.” You muttered, blush taking over your cheeks as your mind flashes back to the previous night, “But, um, first: are we at your place?”

“Kind of?” He gives a half-nod, so you take it at face value, “I mean, you sort of passed out last night, so—”

“Wait, did you carry me all the way to your house?” You interrupt, eyes wide, “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry—”

“No, no!” He rushes to say, smiling slightly, “It was just a couple of floors, and most of the guests were gone by then, so it wasn’t a big deal.”

“Oh.” You say, pondering in silence, before your mind finally connects the dots, “Wait, the mansion is yours?!”

“Well, it’s not exactly mine, it’s more my Father’s…” He grimaces, but at your annoyed expression, hurriedly acquiesces, “Uh, yeah, I guess you could say that?”

“Oh my gosh.” You murmur faintly, gripping the arm of your chair for support, “Oh my gosh.”

“It’s not that big a deal.” He looks confused and you shake your head.

“You basically fucked me, and carried me up here after I passed out and gave me a bunch of luxuries I can only ever dream of.”

You usually hate your lack of filter sometimes, especially considering your occupation, but not this time; not when Hoseok literally turns beet red and chokes on his own spit.

“I…You didn’t—!” He stutters, “I didn’t actually do it, we just, kind of…”

He makes vague motions with his hands, and you need to bite your lip to hold back your laughter.

“Jung Hoseok, embarrassed of this?” You smirk at him, even as he stares at the ground guiltily, “After all that filth you said yesterday—”

“Oh god, you remember?” He groans, head dropping into his hands, but you go on coolly.

“After all that filth you said yesterday, you’re embarrassed to say we almost had sex?” You finally laugh, “Jung Hoseok: shy on the streets, sly in the sheets.”

“Oh my god.” He groans, even though a smile pulls at his lips, and that’s when the door slams open, startling the two of you to near death.

“We need to talk.” Min Yoongi stands in the doorway, eyes cold and dead.

“Why is that a common theme here?” You mutter, stomach sinking, even as Hoseok waves him in.

The discussion with Yoongi goes as well as expected. Which is to say: not at all.

“So, care to explain to me why you were at the party yesterday?”

Yoongi sits across from you, next to Hoseok, with his arms crossed. Both of you ignore Hoseok’s confused glances, only looking at each other.

“I didn’t want to come, I had no choice.” You say petulantly, though a part of you quakes in fear.

“Even so, you’re clearly not on the guest list.” Yoongi muses, tapping a finger against his armrest, “And I’ve never heard of you, so that leaves…”

“Are you from the press?” Hoseok blurts out, and you struggle to meet his eyes, which are swirling with confusion…and hurt, “You came undercover?”

“Yeah.” You admit, knowing there’s no escape, and Yoongi’s stare grows sharper, “I did. I had no choice, my boss would’ve fired me otherwise—!”

“That’s none of our problem.” Yoongi interrupts, anger flashing in his dark eyes, “In fact, I think we should—”

“Wait, hyung!” Hoseok interrupts, making the raven-haired man freeze in surprise, obviously not used to being cut through, “What did you need to do for your boss?”

His face still screams of pain and sadness, and you swallow the guilty sob that threatens to escape you as you whisper:

“He wanted me to get an interview from Jung & Co.”

Hoseok’s eyes shimmer slightly, then, and you can’t help the tears that spring into your own eyes as you hurry to explain, “He also said that if it isn’t possible, he’d be okay with a general write-up, and that’s what I was going to do, I swear—!”

“Get out.” It’s Yoongi who speaks, fists tightening, and Hoseok refuses to meet your eyes as your throat turns dry in anxiety, “Get the fuck out.”

Almost on cue, armed men in suits walk into the room, and you struggle lightly as they begin to pull you away.

“Hoseok, I’m sorry!” You yell desperately, through your tears, even as he looks away, hurt still visible on his soft features, “Hoseok, please!”

The last you see of him, is his head burrowed into Yoongi’s stiff embrace.

Written By: Midnight

Next Part: 02

#kkreationsnet #btssunshinenet #bangtan bookclub #BangtanWriters-Net #kreativewritersnet #bts smut #hoseok smut #hoseok angst #hoseok fluff #bts hoseok #bts jung hoseok #bts jung hoseok smut #bts series #jhope #bts jhope #bts jhope smut

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mrsirishboru · 8 years ago

Text

Hell On Wheels Ch1

Your life was a constant struggle deciding to forget about your past or make it a part of your future. One day you would leave it where it belonged in the past then the next you'd be back in Charming running around with The Sons of Anarchy. From the day you were born life had been full of death and heartache, for you. Mother dead at 7, Father dead at 13.

You stayed with the only people who would take you in. In Charming, California the urban legends were true Charming kills everything you love, but when it's the only place you have you saddled up and get ready for the ride.

'Welcome to Charming, our name says it all' you read the familiar sign as you passed it, it had been 4 years since you'd been back inside of Charming city limits. The last time you were here things weren't good with the club, that's why you left not because you were scared but because of all the death. You were sick of it everyone around you was dropping like flies and you were done with the heartache of it all.

Entering downtown Charming there was already a roadblock setup, rolling your eyes you came to a stop in front of the patrol cars that were blocking the road. You rolled down the window when you saw an officer approaching, you were about to get your ID out of your wallet when he started talking.

"No need Miss Teller, I know who you are" he smiled at you,

"Of course you do" you replied obviously not being surprised

"Name is Lieutenant Roosevelt with the San Joaquin Sheriffs Department"

"What brings you back to Charming after all these years?" he questioned,

"Family, what else?"

"No high detailed security?" he questioned again

"No, can I go?" You asked clearly angry with his questions

"Absolutely, keep in mind things aren't like they used to be around here" He smiled as he backed away from the truck and motioned for the other officers to move the patrol cars.

Once the cars were moved you took off to the clubhouse.

---

Pulling into the lot of TM, you found an empty spot for customer parking and quickly pulled in. Stepping out you looked around at the place it was the same as it was when you left, except the fenced-in playground that had a few children inside playing.

Grabbing your purse you got out and headed into the office. Reaching the office Gemma was hard at work concentrating on paperwork.

"Excuse me, I've been waiting for 10 minutes for an oil change," You said trying to sound as stuck up as some of the customers you've seen here before.

She looked up from the papers ready to tell someone off but a smile quickly formed on her face.

"(Y/N) baby, you're back" she yelled as she stood from her desk and made her way towards you. Embracing each other in a hug, she pulled you back with her hands on your shoulders and looked at you.

"Still as gorgeous as the day you left," she said as she looked you up down.

You were never good with compliments so you just smiled in response.

"The guys won't be out until tomorrow," she said as she took a seat back at her desk.

"Out?" you questioned her

"Been inside for 14 months" she replied, you wondered why she never told you but you didn't exactly keep your number after your left

"Oh damn, any way you think I could grab a bay to do some work on my truck?" you questioned, you were obviously not going to have a lot to do today since the majority of the club was gone.

"Yeah, Chibs is due for a break anyway" she smiled as she started back on the paperwork.

Exiting the office into the garage you spotted Chibs working on a car in the 3rd bay.

Walking over to him, you casually rested your arms on the car he was working on.

"Ay lass, it's been a while" he smiled at you once he looked up and saw you there

"Yes it has" you smiled back

"How long ye back for?" he questioned as he turned his attention back to the car.

"Not sure, just want to enjoy it while I'm here",

you said as you watched him work on the car.

After a few minutes, he was finished and was getting ready to back the car out.

"Take your break, I'm gonna work on my truck" you shot him a smile as you headed out of the bay to your truck.

Getting inside and backing it out, he pulled the customer's car in the spot your truck had just been.

Parking your truck on the lift inside the bay, you shut off the ignition and got out.

Chibs passed you as he was walking towards the office,

"Want the prospects to bring your stuff in?" He asked

"That would be great" You nodded. He laughed and walked towards the clubhouse.

The next day Gemma walked right into your room and took your blankets and threw water on you. She had been yelling at you for 3 hours to get up but you refused, you wanted to cherish not sleeping on the bus and be woken every few hours from people.

Getting out of the bed you headed right for the bathroom for a hot shower since you were soaked in cold water from Gemma. After 15 minutes of hot water and a good wash, you stepped out and got ready. Pulling a pair of ripped skinny jeans from one of your bags you squeezed into those and found a random black and white stripe tee shirt and threw it on. Throwing your hair into a cute braid on top with a ponytail rocking your natural curls you pulled on a pair of basic black converse, with a pair of Ray Bans shades. Walking out of the room you could smell all the food that Gemma had already made. As you walked into the kitchen she was walking out with a plate full of food, she handed it to you.

"Hurry, they'll be here soon," She said as she went back into the kitchen.

Setting your plate down on the bar you took a seat and started eating your 'breakfast' even though it was way past that time of day.

The other old ladies and croweaters were in and out of the clubhouse all afternoon trying to get things ready.

As you finished your plate and got up to take it to the kitchen Gemma came out in a hurry,

"Let's go," she said as she took your plate and practically threw it in the sink from across the room.

Grabbing your arm she drug you outside where everyone else was waiting, you soon walked over towards the edge of the crowd and waited it didn't take long before the roar of 10 Harley's could be heard several streets away.

Once they came to a stop and turned off the engines they scattered, you were greeted by Bobby first, then Tig.

Then you saw him, the way he walked, the way he greeted everyone, the way he wore his kutte, the white reaper crew T-shirt on, the tattoos covering his arms, and my god that smile, that smile he gave when he greeted Gemma.

You never wanted to be with anyone from the club it just wasn't you, they weren't exactly your type but something about him had you hooked.

"Absolutely not," Jax said stepping into your line of sight, you had been busted.

"why not" you pouted you had no reason to try and act like you didn't know what he was talking about because he had caught you red handed

"cause I said so" he raised his eyebrows as a smile crept upon his face.

"just a little taste?" you begged, using your best puppy dog face you could pull off.

He just rolled his eyes laughing at you, and sighing as he turned around.

"Yo Hap, come here" he yelled across all the people still hugging and kissing.

He walked over to Jax like he didn't have a care in the world.

"This is (Y/N), the famous Teller girl. She wants to fuck you" he smiled as he told him who you were. You never said you wanted to do that but if the offer was on the table you weren't going to leave it laying around.

"fucking jackass, I didn't say that" you were blushing and you knew it, Jax and his mysterious friend noticed it.

"well, I'll leave the two of you alone" his smile getting even bigger knowing he was irritating you.

"Bastard" You muttered loud enough for him to hear, but he continued walking.

"Say something else" He looked down at you, he wasn't asking he was demanding

"What for?" You questioned

"You're not from Charming are you?" he asked, you were right on the edge of asking why but then you realized you still had your thick Southern accent.

"No, from Georgia. I get it, it's the accent" You laughed, everyone always had to stop and stare when you would be out on the town.

"saw you staring at me" he spoke after a moment of silence.

"whoops" you chuckled,

"See anything you liked?" he questioned, damn was he a cocky son of a bitch.

"Maybe?"

"My rooms the one with all the smiley faces on it if you want to see more" He winked, as he played with the toothpick in his mouth.

Before you could respond Clay announced 'Chapel in 5'

All of the members filled inside the clubhouse, Gemma made her way over to you.

"see you made a new friend?" she tried to hide the smile on her face

"Sure did, you jealous old lady?" you laughed at her

"Not one bit, but that blonde over there watching us might be?" your head snapped in the direction that Gemma had pointed, sure enough, a blonde with almost nothing on standing there hands on her hips watching you like a hawk.

"hmm, it's too bad I don't give a shit" you stated, as you shrugged your shoulders.

The two of you made your way inside the clubhouse, the guys were already in Church. All the old lady's and crow eaters were either at the bar or sitting at a table talking to one another.

#sons of anarchy #happy lowman #david labrava #jax teller #charlie hunnam #gemma teller #chibs telford

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