#shrimp has religious trauma

[shrimpothy]

[demontouched]

i really like that fantasy high isn't six* people entering brennan's world. it's seven people working to build and establish a world, and brennan was just the start. he had an idea, he shared it with friends, and said "join me, let's make this something beautiful together."

(*for the people who saw this before the typo fix, i'm sorry 😭 i didn't even realize. i'm very bad at typing.)

[andromeda-collective]

Hey can you yap more about your guy please. I wanna read more of you talking about him

YAY OKAY hmmm where do i start

because of the changes to his eyes with the whole experiment thing he cant see certain color wavelengths anymore! (and that part is actually canon!!! when he talks about the blacklight he says that he cant tell if it works or not because its ultraviolet light!) and i like to think he can see random ass shrimp colors now (since he IS a shrimp) and painter is probably annoyed taht sebastian just has access to a completely new range of colors now

he also has definitely has eaten the corpses of expendables. and he probably hates himsefl for it becuase its either cannibalism (bad) OR hes so far from being human that it doesnt count as "eating the same species" anymore (worse!) the scent of blood doesnt get to him TOO much typically (it cant permeate through air as well as water) but if hes anywhere near it he does definitely start feeling a bit feral.

and in a slightly similar vein, hes DEFINITELY malnourished. SEVERELY so. its the only reason hes so thin. hes part BLUE WHALE afterall and those guys arent SUPPOSED to be lean.

he's also definitely bitten his tongue and lip(s) before on multiple occasions and it sucked complete ass. its bad enough when humans do it but he has SHARK TEETH now. honestly im surprised he even still HAS a tongue. i also think he chewed on his fingers a lot just for the hell of it (projecting) and now he REALLY cant do that lol maybe thats why he doesnt have a fourth arm /j

also anglerfish lures dont need to be tugged on like a lamp to turn on so sebastian is doing it ENTIRELY for the bit. hes doing it to be silly and whimsical and most expendables dont know much about marine biology so they just never question it.

also as much as i love the sebastian designs where he is just a fucking CREATURE i think he would still look goofy as hell. like hes still a terrifying leviathan whos existance defies the laws of nature and that can open massive metal doors like theyre merely inconviniently heavy with a gun constantly onhand but. those eyes.. that curly bracket ass smile.. he just looks like such a dork. (affectionately)

i also like to think hes nervous around rabbits. maybe its a phobia maybe he got bit once and is just cautious something with rabbits but that only applies to ACTUAL rabbits. the deep sea bunnies (which are big ass slugs without claws or sharp teeth) are PERFECTLY fine with him. and he loves them :3

he also defintiely gets some form of rugburn from having those belts around his tail (the thing he uses to move around). LIKE THERE IS NO WAY THAT ISNT PAINFUL. and speaking of pain, with how sensitive his eyes are to light now (being a deep sea fish and all) the light from his own lure probably would give him a headache. he doesnt have it on by default, he ONLY turns it on when expendables (humans with worse eyesight) show up. he also probably doesnt like bright lights due to the trauma of the experiments. hospitals and operating rooms arent exactly known for being dark, yknow.

and ive already said this in a post before but im saying it again :3 sebastian did the t-rex hands thing ALL THE TIME before urbanshade because he never knew where to put his hands so he just holds them there. but he eventually came up with the idea of holding his hands clasped together to fix the problem! and then the fish thing happened, and he has a third arm, so hes back to doing the trex thing. just look at it. tell me that im wrong. i dare you /j /silly

also he definitely was a nightcore fan. hes confirmed to like rock (and metallica specifically) and i refuse to believe he didnt listen to nightcore versions of those songs religiously. (i actually looked up the origin of nightcore for this one lmao it first became a thing in 2001 but became popular and more mainstream around 2011 and sebastian was taken by urbanshade in 2013 so he COULDVE FEASIBLY LISTENED TO IT >:3)

thank you for letting me talk more about my guy #myguy

[ukyou-kuonji]

I'm not sure how much sense it makes when viewed through a chronological lens, but when reading the series in published order there's this one thread that really stuck out to me. Partially because I'm so frustrated I kinda was doubting Mothy's ability to get me emotionally invested again, but here I am.

But one thing that is making me feel shrimp emotions is like. Elluka Clockworker multiple times wrote off Eve Moonlit as a woman who was "broken a long time ago," calling her crazy on several occasions and just generally blaming her for the Original Sin and writing her off as someone well past the point of saving.

And then, in the Wrath novel we see her with her memories as Levia restored, and when confronted with Nemesis, who Allen describes in the same way she-as-Elluka described Eve, she pushes back. She rejects his very premise, saying “…I don’t care much for putting it that way. You shouldn’t be using a word like ‘broken’ to refer to a human being” before choosing to sit and attempt to understand Nemesis' actions, reasoning, and psychological state.

And then she sits down and comes to understand the life story of Nemesis, who was abandoned by her mother, grew up in the forest under Michaela's watch, taken advantage of by a man in the government, Gallerian, and lost the person dearest to her. All of which literally happened to Eve, down to her mother arguably being the same person as Eve's mother apt (I think), and Gallerian directly contracting with Adam, who used his position in the government to use Eve for his own ends as well.

And I know the reveal is going to be that Nemesis and Levia are also the same person in different lives again. So when read in chronological order it feels like the series is slowly disputing the premise many readers accepted very easily, that Eve is crazy and broken and nothing can save her. The narrative, very late in the game, rejects the concept that some people are beyond help. Then Levia learns more about a broken woman it slowly becomes clear she experienced the same things, and she doesn't give up on her. And these things Levia comes to understand herself as having gone through, are THE EXACT THINGS that "broke" Eve. And, from what I understand of the rest of the series, Levia has to work to stop the events she's put in motion and learns to understand herself better. To me it suggests that Eve is not beyond help, but rather continually abandoned and abused by everyone around her, most notably the people she is stuck with in the end (Irina and Adam).

Which is such a beautiful way to slowly unpack the concept of a religiously derided woman is simply evil and beyond help, especially after slowly unpacking the ways she has been abused and the trauma she's been through for the whole series.

But idk from what I know of the OSS novels it doesn't look like Mothy is going in that direction, so maybe the way I'm interpreting the themes is just wrong.

[threeyuu]

Three yuuson

Name: Viola Other name: Sea Rabbit (Floyd), Plum (Vil), Violet/Saintpaulia (Inna), Lemming (Leona), Reine des fluers (Rook) Age: 20 years Birthday: 16.05 Height: 5' 4" Dorm: ramshackle Class: 1-А, student 26 Club: Board games (in the second year) Dominant hand: Left Best Subject: Astrology Favorite food: mushroom soup; something spicy Least favorite food: seafood, mostly fish Hobbies: writing short stories/poems in a notebook; infiltrating octovinelle at night and scaring Azul to a heart attack with questions about Merfolks; reading. Talent: luck; to disappear unnoticed from sight. The name Unique Magic: The backstage of a fairy tale. Unique Magic: with the help of touch, it penetrates into someone else's consciousness and can see the memories of the owner. She can also be a "connecting link" of several people, merging people's minds into a single whole.

Name: Anais Other name: Shrimp (Floyd); Pineapple (Vil); Mademoiselle Dompteur (Rook), Mammal (Leona). Age: 20 years Birthday: 31.12 Height: 5' 8" Dorm: ramshackle Class: 1-А, student 27 Club: Equestrian Club (in the second year) Dominant hand: right Best Subject: Alchemy Favorite food: coffee and energy drinks (she survives on them) Least favorite food: no Hobbies: video games, gardening Talent: can stay awake for several days; scare ghosts; can make an impassive face, even if scared.

Name: Inna Other name: Crazy (Leona), clown fish (Floyd), Trickster (Rook), Sweet Potato (Vil). Age: 18 years Birthday: 14.02 Height: 6' 2" Dorm: ramshackle Class: 1-А, student 23 Club: Film Studies Club (in the second year) Dominant hand: right Best Subject: Flying Favorite food: omnivorous, literally ate sand as a child. Least favorite food: something spicy Hobbies: reads Issekai novels; plays otome; simp villains Talent: Acting skills.

They came into this world together, in one coffin, because they were together at that moment.

Anais has a younger sister and a religious trauma from the fact that she was once almost sent to a Catholic school.

Inna will not tolerate a bad attitude towards her friends and can get into a fight on this basis.

Viola is able to attract attention and find a common language with others, but she does not realize it herself.

Inna, as a fan of romantic pieces, calls Viola the "main character" and often jokes about this topic.

Due to the fact that Grim spends a lot of time with Viola, he was considered her familiar even before she revealed her magical abilities.

Despite the fact that Anais is an ordinary person with no abilities, Grim is very afraid of her (but does not admit it).

Anais is paranoid and a control freak.

Viola has a serious phobia of fire, which she got in her early years when she was almost burned by the bullers.

Viola also has an unshakeable faith in people, which makes it easy for people to get in touch with her.

For the first time, Viola used her magic on Azul. As a result, she saw all his memories, and he saw hers.

At school, Inna was part of the drama club, but mostly all her roles were those of villains.

Inna is a late child of her parents.

Anais' parents divorced, after which her mother remarried after a while. Her sister was born in their mother's second marriage.

Viola has a very close relationship with her mother, but at the same time with her father they are just as strained.

The reason why Viola's magical abilities awoke is quite simple: her great-grandmother, Clarissa, a fairy from the Valley of thorns, was a scientist and once during an experiment she moved to another world, but she could not return back.

Anais is the only completely heterosexual girl in their group, but at the same time it is she who is most often dressed up in men's outfits and it is girls who fall in love with her (look at Eliza).

Initially, Vil called Inna "potato", as well as Ace and Deuce, but at the end of the Pomefiore chapter, he began to call her "Sweet Potato".

Viola has the magic of light, as well as Silver, Kalim and Rook.

Crowley realized from day one that the easiest way to get girls to do his errands was to give them to Viola. Inna and Anais can refuse, but if their friend gets involved, they drag themselves to help her.

Anais is a cowardly person, but she knows how to make a fearless face and at the same time manages to intimidate others in this way.

Anais and Azul have the dynamics of a divorced couple who still can't share a child. This child is Viola.

Information will be added!!

[dacreaturez]

[Made - 2/Jul/25]

Welcome to my page♡!

[Who am i?!]

SUPPORT SMALL ARTISTS & BABY FANDOMS!

*Call me Dee or Creature / Creaturez! I use [He/Him/They/It - any male or ALT pronouns as long as it isn't fem sounding] turning 20 this year...BOORING. I'm also PuertoRican🇵🇷! [VIVA PR PUÑETA!]

BACK OFF IM MARRIED FOR 8 YEARS! (≧□≦)

F*CK AI IMAGES, PICK A PENCIL CARAJÓ.

I don't do commissions yet. I plan to, but not now.

Lol I am Pansexual and very loud about it.

#1 - simp for hot anime guys

I have a vtuber model on the works so give them some love and support when I debut officially one day! But for now follow me over on (MY SOCIALS)

Chronically ONLINE FREAK, I am open about mental health and my life and whatnot.

I tend to cuss alot [duh]

Currently living in poverty. (((・・;)

I'm dyslexic as f*ck so my bad if some stuff is badly misspelled~!! Also i have, AUDHD [Autistic + ADHD] - I'm also Hypers*xual. (I know how to control myself and going to therapy for it) damn imagine craving physical touch but also hate physical touch....yikes (；´_ゝ`)

Chronic sleeper & coffee addict (jk)

Slightly schizophrenic...I also probably have double personality disorder [Dpd] but it's undiagnosed so I can't say just yet.

Night owl with crow mentality >:3

I do cosplay but i don't show it online. Yes, I'm a furry too.

FEMBOY [not in a s*xual manner but as in a guy that wants to be pretty. You pervs...]

Multifandom Veteran. [Internet survivor since 2012]

Currently writing a book but it's on hiatus now. ヽ(●´ε｀●)ノ

I accept DMs as long as you aren't a freak, a bot, a scammer. I also don't mind OC art or shipping with my OCs or any sort of collab :)

Open Q/As about my OCs or about myself are ok! Any question is a good question.

[Just credit me bruh.]

My style is...Emo, goth, wizardcore, demoncore, Scene kid, overdecora, traumacore, weirdkid, metalist, facelesscore, dogcore, gurokawaii, cute horror, nursecore, weirdcore, zombiecore, nerdcore, anime culture [200s specifically], chaoscore, adamsandler style [lmao].

MY TOP 5 FAV GAMES: 1) cult of the lamb, 2) stardew valley, 3)animal crossing, 4)Doom eternal, 5) all of legend of Zelda games

[RELIGIOUS?]

Satanic & Atheist...I dunno how that works tbh...I have too much religious trauma I don't belive in this version of God, I don't mind on what you belive just don't try to force it on others...be respectful and keep to yourself. Not everyone has the same perspective. Love your neighbor, love and help eachother as it was intended to be. Don't use religion as a shield for your homophobic or extreme views.

[Fav food?!]

Mofongo

Arroz con habichuelas

Tostones

Mangú

Shrimps

Pasta [any]

Chocolate [except choco mint because wtf is that flavor Y'ALL NASTY...lol]

Lasagna

Burgers [no tomatoes, mustard or pickles!!]

Tuna [other fishes are just bland or nasty for me]

[Art style?!]

Sketch, anime, toon, lazy, doodle, fanart, shipping, venting [expressing mental health or what's going on in my life], self portraits & odd drawings with or without symbolism

[MY SOCIALS?!]

*Tiktok - @/ dacreaturez

*Discord - @/ dacreaturerawr

*Insta - @/ dee_does_art_oficial

[My VTUBERs socials.]

*Tumblr - @/deevilish-indievtuber

*Tiktok - @/Deevilvtuber

*REALITY - @/Deevilish

*TWITCH - @/deevilishindievtuber

*Threads - @/Deevilishindievtuber

[FINAL THOUGHTS]

STOP HURTING MY ISLAND YOU PIGS!

Stop hurting my precious COQUÍ, STOP BURNING DOWN SMALL BUSINESS, STOP SUPPORTING TRUMP!! HE DOESN'T DO JACK SHIT FOR AMERICANS OR OTHER RACES AND HES A FELON A CREEPY PIG OF A FELON AND YOU STILL SUPPORT HIM, I HOPE YOU REGRET WHAT YOU'VE DONE. STOP CHANGING OUR ISLAND AND DESTROYING OUR BEACHES! STOP MAKING US HAWAII 2.0 YOU ARE NOTHING BUT IGNORANTS F*CK RACISM, STOP BEING SO IGNORANT AND OPEN YOUR EYES BY LEARNING OUT CULTURE FIRST. LEARN OUR HISTORY SO WE DONT REPEAT THE SAME MISTAKES.

DÉJANOS EN PAZ PUÑETA Y APRENDAN DE UNA VEZ QUE NO VAMOS A QUEDAR COMO HAWAII NUNCA NOS VAN A CONQUISTAR. VIVA PUERTORICO, VIVA MI ISLA, VIVA MI BANDERA! DEJA EL COQUI EN PAZ! DEJA NUESTRA GENTE EN PAZ! NO SEAN IGNORANTES Y PUERCOS! 🇵🇷🇵🇷🇵🇷🇵🇷

[Fav music]

[asiansatire]

Trump & "No Kings" Day

TRUMP IS NOT A KING—AND NEITHER ARE YOU, LINDA: A Nation Screams into a Latte

By America’s Last Non-Doomscrolled Journalist Published by SpinTaxi, where monarchy is just a sex role in San Francisco Every morning across Brooklyn, a million progressive mouths whisper the sacred mantra, “Trump is not a king,” before opening Instagram to post a picture of a foam leaf in their $9 oat milk latte. Meanwhile, at UC Berkeley, a professor in "Post-Colonial Interpretive Yoga" opens her lecture by sighing, “We do not bow to orange fascists,” while her third husband, Todd, practices transcendental gluten-banning at home. Let’s get one thing clear: Trump is not a king. And also—nobody thought he was. Except, apparently, every single Resistance podcast host with a Harry Potter reference tattoo. The “Not My King” Movement: A Parade of Slogan Scarves and Anxiety Diagnoses There’s an entire segment of the left that thinks democracy lives and dies based on whether Trump thinks he’s Louis XIV or just a guy who accidentally spray-tanned himself into a cult. Protesters now arrive to every demonstration wearing T-shirts that read “NO THRONE FOR THE CHEETO” while holding signs that say “We Overthrew One King in 1776. We Can Do It Again (If Starbucks Has a Drive-Thru).” A CNN analyst recently called Trump “a monarch in disguise,” as if he was smuggling divine right into the State of the Union inside his gut. But here’s the real story: Trump can’t even organize a lunch without someone flipping. His assistant flipped. His body man flipped. His ex-wife flipped—literally, in a golf cart. Imaginary Monarchy: When You LARP the Fall of Rome in Your Apartment The Left has become addicted to fantasy monarchy cosplay. Everything Trump does is interpreted through the lens of Game of Thrones. Executive order? “It’s a royal decree.” Rally? “It’s a coronation.” Third indictment? “Proof that the crown is made of subpoenas.” In one Brooklyn bookstore, a section titled Tyrants & Trauma features “The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump,” “How to Survive a Despot,” and a children’s picture book called “Little Donnie Tries to Seize the Senate.” There are also YouTube channels that edit his rallies with Vikings music in the background, followed by long videos explaining how "we’re in the early stages of dictatorship," based entirely on the fact that Trump once called someone a “dog” on Twitter. Expert Warning: “He’s Just a Guy with a Fan Base and a Legal Tab” We spoke with political scientist Dr. Eliza Ramshank, whose latest book, Despot Daddy: How Authoritarianism Sounds in a New Jersey Accent, claims Trump is “98% vibes, 2% policy.” “People keep yelling ‘He’s not a king!’ like he has a scepter. Trump’s only scepter is a selfie stick,” said Ramshank. “He doesn’t rule over America—he barely rules over dinner reservations.” Indeed, Trump is a man whose idea of war strategy is Truth Social threats followed by all-you-can-eat shrimp cocktail. If he’s a monarch, then QAnon is the royal guard, and Marjorie Taylor Greene is the jester who forgot she’s in costume. But the Left Demands a Crown—So They Can Burn It The phrase “Trump is not a king” is less a political critique and more a religious chant performed before brunch. And like all good cult chants, it means the opposite of what it says. “We fear a dictator,” said progressive influencer Sage Evergreen (@WokeAndFlammable). “So we have to pretend he already is one—just in case.” You see, if Trump is just a guy who yells and loses elections, then the people yelling at him lose their sense of moral grandeur. You can’t be the Resistance if the Empire’s dead and living in Florida. So instead of letting him fade, they re-inflate him as a Caesar so they can cosplay revolution over cocktails. Evidence He’s Not a King (But Please, Keep Pretending) No Royal Succession: Eric and Don Jr. couldn’t inherit a lemonade stand without HR violations. No Palace Intrigue: Mar-a-Lago leaks more than a colander in a CIA sauna. No Loyalty: Half his cabinet wrote memoirs titled “I Tried to Warn You.” No Lawsuits Against Comedians: If Trump were a real king, Alec Baldwin would’ve been hanged in 2017. No Magical Powers: Unless you count making people cry on MSNBC. Even actual kings—like Charles III—have more modest inauguration outfits. Trump wore a red tie long enough to trip over on an escalator. What the Funny People Are Saying “Trump’s not a king. Kings get parades. Trump gets arraigned.” —Ron White “You know he’s not royalty—he actually pays for women to like him.” —Jerry Seinfeld “If he’s a king, then his horse is a golf cart with ‘MAGA’ spray paint.” —Sarah Silverman “We’re not in a monarchy. If we were, CNN would’ve been shut down by now, not just ignored.” —Bill Burr “He can’t even make Mike Pence follow him. How’s he gonna make a nation bow?” —Larry David The Royal Court of MSNBC Cable news, still mourning Hillary’s coronation, now spins every Trump story with medieval gravitas. Rachel Maddow once said, “He seeks unchecked power,” while a graphic showed him golfing with “Authoritarian Slide: Day 823” stamped over it. It’s gotten so bad, one D.C. think tank launched a seminar titled “Modern Kingship and the Death of the Senate,” hosted by a man who thinks the filibuster is a magical incantation. This was followed by a wine and cheese mixer with the subtitle: “Bring Your Own Guillotine.” Twitter Threads with Revolutionary Vibes The “Trump is not a king” crowd thrives on Twitter, where every Trump news drop is met with: “This is fascism, plain and simple.” “History will not be kind to this king.” “We are the peasants, and I’m proud to plow!” These same people then log off and go to Trader Joe’s, muttering to themselves about the fall of the republic while buying gluten-free fig snacks. One user even posted: “We must dethrone this tyrant before it’s too late.” His profile picture? A golden retriever wearing a Beto O’Rourke T-shirt. Trump’s Reign: A Timeline of Failed Royal Acts 2017: Tried to repeal Obamacare. Failed. 2018: Shut down the government over a wall. Still no wall. 2019: Declared love for Kim Jong Un. Got ghosted. 2020: Lost the election. Denied it. Still lost. 2021: Banned from Twitter. Not very kingly. 2023: Launched NFTs. Real kings don’t sell clipart of themselves in capes. If this is monarchy, it’s monarchy run out of a strip mall. What’s Really Behind the Slogan? The Left needs Trump to be a king because it justifies their royal behavior. Think about it: they don’t want to debate—they want to depose. They don’t want to vote—they want to exile. Every time someone disagrees, it’s not disagreement���it’s “fascist encroachment.” “Trump’s threat level must remain at ‘looming doom,’ or else brunch becomes awkward,” noted pundit Malika Sporns of The Espresso Resistance Review. That’s the secret—Trump isn’t a king, but for liberals, he’s a cosplay villain that makes them feel like the protagonists of history. If Trump’s a Monarch, Where’s His Nobility? His most loyal subjects are conspiracy guys with liver spots and “Don’t Tread on Me” tramp stamps. His royal advisors? Diamond and Silk. His foreign policy? Whatever Putin was tweeting that day. The man knighted Kanye. KNIGHTED KANYE. Let’s be clear: Trump is not a king. He’s a Florida uncle with 5G paranoia and a loyalty punch card at Arby’s. But don’t tell that to anyone who owns a “Nevertheless, She Persisted” coffee mug. They’ll say you are enabling tyranny because you didn’t use the word “authoritarian” in a sentence today. The Resistance Crowned Him, So They Could Slay Him The truth is painfully simple: Trump is not a monarch. He’s a former president who refuses to leave the group chat. But the Left won’t stop screaming about his non-existent throne because they built the castle for him—and now they need to feel heroic breaking down the walls. Like toddlers pretending the couch is lava, they’ve crafted a fantasy where everything Trump does is treason—and everything they do is a moral crusade. Even when it’s posting TikToks about the Constitution from a Whole Foods parking lot.

Final Word from the Royal Therapist

We sat down with Dr. Kevin Shanks, a licensed political trauma counselor in Portland who runs a support group called “Democracy Is Still Alive (Probably).” He told us: “It’s common for people to inflate enemies during moments of collective anxiety. But let’s be real—if Trump is a king, I’m the Queen of Denmark.” He then offered free coloring books to anyone still calling Trump “His Orange Highness” in June 2025.

TRUMP IS NOT A KING - AND NEITHER ARE YOU, LINDA A Nation Screams into a Latte Disclaimer: This satire is the result of a completely human collaboration between the world’s oldest tenured professor and a philosophy major turned dairy farmer. Any resemblance to actual royalty, revolutions, or resistance influencers is purely the result of Wi-Fi poisoning and too much MSNBC. Long live common sense. Auf Wiedersehen. Read the full article

[genuineformality]

I am not, when it comes to it, a particularly "woo" person. My religious sensibilities are informed heavily by a Jewish-come-cult-member parent (who, over the course of my childhood, joined 2.5 cults in a desperate attempt to find belonging) and a catholic-come-wiccan other parent, and all of the various and varied religious trauma that came from that upbringing*.

For various reasons and through various mechanisms, I started reading tarot** and discovered that I'm both pretty good at doing readings for other people and also that I find a certain amount of meaning in reading for myself - not as a fortune telling mechanism, but as a method of stepping outside myself and getting some additional perspective.

Because of that, I started collecting novel tarot decks, backing interesting looking decks on kickstarter and indiegogo, and occasionally frequenting little headshops where one might peruse and acquire more and more weird decks. My current collection numbers around 70ish decks and I bought a little bookshelf just for them.

I don't often admit this to people I know socially, because when people hear that you're into tarot, they will make certain assumptions about you that, in my case, are so far from the truth as to be laughable, but I live in terror that a certain type of Woo Person will learn that I'm into tarot and I will regret ever letting anyone know that.

ANYWAY.

One of the things that I find tarot useful for is as part of a mindfulness/journaling practice to get my brain out of its current (very difficult, problematic) ruts.*** Having little flash cards with cool art that hits Some Archetypes to contemplate is good for making Good Brain Chemicals and Brain go BRR-BRR over outside stimuli that isn't just How Angry I Am About a Situation.

I've had a number of favorite decks that I tend to go back to, but for this current situation, I wanted something I hadn't really worked with before. So I cracked open my Fifth Spirit Tarot Deck (backed on kickstarter awhile ago) which is super fucking queer, ethnically diverse, has a bunch of disabled rep - and is the most gently direct deck I think I've ever worked with. It's a deck that says, "Hey, you're not okay. But maybe you could be?" with the loveliest, kindest, most direct tone. It reminds me of the best therapist I ever had.

I'm not terribly woo. I don't vibe with a lot of woo stuff. I'm not about a Deep Connection to My Inner Goddess or whatever. I'm really here to get some extra perspective. I'm sure this deck would probably be good for nonbinary woo people. It's probably not for everyone. It's probably not for most people.

But gosh, this is a good deck for me, right now, in all my woo-less, nonbinary, needing perspective-ness. Thanks Charlie Claire Burgess. You're helping this queer, jewish, atheist enby a lot right now.

-=-=-=-=-

*If I were to describe my current religious tendencies, I would describe myself as a Jewish atheist who has a chavurah and davens on friday nights only, throws a rager of a party for passover, tolerates a lot of christmas, likes yule, and occasionally remembers when the other holidays are, while eating pork and shrimp, preferably together. So... take that with as many grains of salt as you like.

**It was for a LARP. And then, like many LARP related things, went wildly out of control.

***I am actively mad at how well my brain responds to this. I had stopped journaling for awhile because I was in a good spot, then was in a Very Bad spot for a bit, and when my therapist asked, "how's your self care routine going?" I was like, FINE. I'LL START DOING MY STUPID JOURNAL AGAIN. And then within two days my brain stopped being an asshole to me. What the fuck.

[asimovsideburns]

Heaven’s Rim session summary 4, which I have put off almost a full week because I was so head full afterwards I could not think and am only now recovering

We open in initiative again, but not in battle. Shrimp has just killed the ankheg with an eldritch blast + get stuck in combo, but they get the feeling that not all is right, so they continue exploring

They were correct! Two more ankhegs lurk in the campsite here, which they dispatch promptly (and luckily manage to avoid fighting at the same time).

After that, they play a little hot-and-cold with a sense of impending bad luck and discover, in the crumbling fireplace of a torn down cabin, buried beneath the ashes, a string of thirteen tiny stick figures, dipped in (now dried) drake’s blood, with lightning bolts etched into them. They do some checks and realize that

1) these were placed here intentionally, and hidden in a way that they wouldn’t be found

2) these are religious in nature but not from a humanoid religion

3) the purpose of these is to draw bad luck to a place and those who reside nearby

4) which is probably why these ankhegs are chilling despite being migratory hunters instead of ambush predators

What do they do? Well, they need to destroy them, so Shrimp grabs the string of figures, runs off, and uses his alchemical burst to explode with cold damage and flash freeze the sticks so they explode into splinters. Immediately everyone feels better and the last ankheg (waiting underneath the floorboards of the intact cabin) tunnels away into the forest.

They explore said cabin and find Tibor Wester, administrator of the logging camp, who has been barricaded in one room for three days without food or water. They interrogate him as to what happened (when the ankhegs attacked, he ran away and hid while the loggers fought back and died), Adva exploded at him for abandoning the people he was supposedly friends with, Chantry is like “hey, what the fuck is wrong with you, this dude has just been through A Trauma,” and they have, mm, religious differences of opinion. Or differences of religious opinion. Not sure which is the more accurate phrasing here.

Mason gets Tibor’s signature so that if he dies on the way back to town they can still get paid, since they need that to prove they brought the supplies to him.

The party decides to spend a night here at the logger camp before swinging by Falcon’s hunting lodge tomorrow and hopefully leaving Tibor with him so they can go check on Big Al over at Butterskull Ranch (their other quest).

You know what long rest means—watch schedule time. We end up doing Mason on first watch, Nim on second and third, Shrimp on watch 1.5 (the last hour of Mason’s 2 hour watch and the first hour of Nim’s 4 hour watch), and Adva and Chantry together on fourth watch.

I truly, absolutely, sincerely cannot do justice to this long rest / watch rp scene. I wish that it was preserved in amber so that I could experience it over and over again.

First is Mason, who does some breathing exercises to combat anxiety while doing absolutely no mental exercises to combat anxiety.

Then Shrimp joins her, and Mason asks some burning questions about goblin culture and anatomy, which leads to the revelation that, on a natural 2 minus two for a zero medicine check, Shrimp doesn’t know what bones are. Let alone if she has any.

Mason’s attempts to explain what bones are are… not successful. In case you’re wondering where the title for that musical piece “I have teeth in the shape of my limbs” came from.

Mason has to go to bed. Mason has more questions than she did before she talked to Shrimp.

Next is Shrimp and Nim! Shrimp and Nim of “bury your feelings where the sun can’t touch them until something new grows over them” fame! They discuss bones (still unclear on whether Shrimp has bones or not after this), Shrimp asks Nim whether they miss their husband (answer: inconclusive with an “I liked him, so I suppose I must?”), and then they talk about emotions. I will paraphrase the interaction.

Nim says, “hey shrimp, I noticed you have a lot of emotions!”

Shrimp says, “boy, do I!”

Nim says, “why don’t you just not have them anymore? it seems like they bother you.”

Shrimp says, “hey, bestie. what?”

Nim says, “why don’t you just like stop experiencing your emotions of they’re so much?”

Shrimp says, “I cannot do that! Can you do that?”

Nim says, “yes?”

Shrimp says, “wow! okay!”

Shrimp goes to bed

Nim spends the next three hours thinking about this

FOURTH WATCH!!

Adva and Chantry are on watch together, after their earlier difference of opinion. They decide to talk it out—a win for healthy working relationships!! Adva explains that she knows that people don’t take her star-based religion seriously, but it’s still not okay to use it against her. Chantry explains that he didn’t mean to do that, and asks her to tell him more about her religion so that he doesn’t accidentally do that again. Adva happily does so, doing a palm reading. Chantry also talks a bit about his life. He mentions that he has a wife, and Adva tells him not to abandon her, both of them accidentally standing on one of each others’ emotional landmines again. Adva is crying, talking first to Chantry and then herself about how people aren’t supposed to abandon each other, that “he” (different person than Chantry) wasn’t supposed to abandon her. Chantry is talking about religion in an attempt to comfort her, making a reference to stars and candles and how he navigates by the stars as a Sailor—Adva says wait. You’re a Sailor? He says yeah? She says do you know Aalin? He does!

Aalin has heterochromia, one blue eye and one brown, like Adva but with the positions switched. He became a Sailor, but he still visited her (not something you’re supposed to do when you become a Sailor, Chantry knows—you’re supposed to leave your old life behind) until a little while ago, when he dropped out of contact completely. Chantry doesn’t know a lot about Aalin, but he can ask some Sailor contacts—the ones who still like him—back in the Port what they know.

Morning comes, everybody wakes up and breaks camp, and Mason decides to ask Adva if Shrimp has bones. Adva makes a check. Adva doesn’t actually know if Shrimp has bones! Adva asks the stars (casts Augury) and receives the answer “Weal and Woe”. Hey what the fuck does THAT mean? I’ll never tell! Every single person in the party proceeds to make checks to see if they know if goblins have bones.

Nobody passes.

[neilbutterfield-blog]

In our Ethics class we were asked to share our views on Morality. I just want to share mine here.

I basically grew up in a church. A Sunday school kid, attended every religious camps, became a youth leader, became Sunday School teacher, became a worship/song leader—they even call me ‘pastor’ at that.

But, after 19 years I figured out that religions do not make sense to me anymore. Well, it did not happen overnight. It took me years of doubt and research and a lot of emotional scars and trauma—religious trauma.

It all goes down to existential and identity crisis, questions on morality, and the hypocrisy of some church goers (also the questionable credibility, mistranslations, and the inconsistency of the bible).

I used to believe that without God I am just evil and misguided and as they say: I will go to hell. But is that right? That we cannot be a good person if we don’t worship and recognize a higher entity? Picture this: Japan is one of the countries in the world that has the highest number of atheist citizens but has the lowest crime rate. So, is it really religion that makes us ethically and morally correct? I think not and also the numbers tell otherwise. (see: https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/most- atheist-countries)

I do believe that over the millions of years that the human evolved to have a consciousness, we have also acquired the ability, the instinct, to examine how right or wrong an action is. Right and wrong is very different from good and evil. In a scenario that an action is done for the right reason but with the wrong action cannot be determined using the religious based perspective because there is no in- between; there is no scale.

I do believe that morality is subjective, but the Christians believe otherwise. Their argument is that you can’t just decide whether an action is morally correct or wrong. In an argument I had, they presented the idea that if drugs make them feel good that does not make it morally correct. So, they need a written law to guide them—the bible.

There are moral values that are deemed right by our ancestors but what were also their basis? How reliable are their scales of morality before establishing those values? What gives us guarantee that the old moral values are the must-have values we should possess right now. There's none. A moral value is a concept that covers the all the good for everyone. So, if you say you do drugs just because you like it and it feels good, well that refutes being moral because that's a catalyst to your own physical degradation. You’re a terrible caretaker of your own body.

Moreover, the bible does not give a clear view on morality. I was a Sunday School teacher, so I know a lot about what the bible says. It says there that we should disregard the laws of the Old Testament because we must follow the teachings of Jesus in the New Testament but still people are cherry picking laws from the Old Testament to justify their hatred among several group of people. We can’t just ignore

the law about not eating fish or shrimp but implement the others, that’s hypocrisy. There are numerous opposing statements in the bible and a lot of mistranslated words. One of the most famous is the word “homosexuality” in the bible. The word “arsenokoitai” means child molester, a phedophile, but in 1946 they changed it to homosexual. And they used it to shame the LGBT community up to this day and that’s not very morally correct at all. (see: https://um-insight.net/perspectives/has- %E2%80%9Chomosexual%E2%80%9D-always-been-in-the-bible/)

Those are just some of my reasons why I left the church and disagree to their teachings in morality (I still have a lot). The bottom-line is, it’s okay and your right to have a moral independence. My religion made me feel bad about myself and made me want to end my existence because of my sexual orientation and has caused me irreversible religious trauma because of their incorrect teachings in morality and that the idea of me going to hell shoving down to my throat made me question the things they implanted in my childhood. There 4,300 religions and 2,407,650 known and worshipped gods in the world, how sure are you that the one you are born in is the right one?

With all that being said, I believe that morality is being morally and ethically free.

[fangedfaefreak]

TW: Going to rant about Christianity for a hot second, fyi. I will be quoting verses. I just don’t want to put this on my main in case the guy I argued with sends his buddies after that account bc I really shouldn’t have argued but I did, so🤷🏻 Call me a chicken for blocking them, but I am already triggered and on edge and I’m not about to make it 20x worse. Religion is sooo fucky for us and I really don’t need to keep surrounding myself in that pile of garbage. Putting a read more bc I definitely get blasphemous and I know some religious trauma folks follow our sys account and could see this AND some Christians follow us there too. (I love you, I know you’re not like the ones that hurt us.) This post is made by Vivian, btw. Duh, it’s my account lol.

Got in an argument on main with a Christian🙄

“My book of fables that I often take as absolute truth and completely out of context despite it being written and mistranslated so many times it’s not funny AND I will only use the parts that will further MY agenda and ignore the rest. So here you go: witches are evil.”

Okay. But you wear cotton blend shirts, I’m sure? And have eaten shrimp?

And man, I sure know that Christians enjoy ritual prostitution! That’s literally considered ritually offensive! (Kings 14:23) Doesn’t stop them though! :))) Because why would it?

Not to mention in Christianity it literally says that the Old Testament, while it should still be considered, should not be followed. Rather, the New Testament should be followed. That’s why Christianity has the New Testament rather than just the Old like Jewish folks.

“But Vivi! The New Testament talks about witches too!”

Yeah, they sure do.

In Revelations 22:15 it says that witches will not receive eternal life. (Which…why the fuck would they care about the Christian eternal life anyway lmfao) “Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.”

Weird, I sure know a lot of Christians who fall under that category^^ And yet they still preach and use their religion to get what they want. Fucking disgusting!

And this is not bashing on every single Christian ever, there are a lot of good Christians that don’t use their religion to push their own agenda, but it’s just so gross to see these people on tumblr of all places, especially since they tagged their original post as witchcraft rather than fucking Christian tags. Like I’m sorry I don’t wanna see that on my dash, you’re not going to magically convert me by calling me a heathen and saying I’m going to hell and that I have daddy issues.🙄 Get a grip on your fucking ego holy shit.

I can cherry-pick verses too. Easy peasy. We studied the Bible obsessively for years. Then we realized how fucked it all was and how much hatefulness comes from people misusing it. No thank you.

Gonna try to tag the religious trauma tags and tw tags but I’m turning off reblogs in case any assholes try to clown on this vent post.

-Vivi

[succorcreek]

I am a man of constant sorrow. http://bit.ly/2QfIzv1 A story: A note to friend G: I did have a mom, though it was in days per year. Most of the time, she was in her ptsd stuff, crazy as you or I could be, gone. When she was there, a kindness felt like a gift from heaven: a home baked cheesecake, a short talk of her interests and hobbies, something in a book she was reading she wanted to show me..... I learned a lot about what my cats do: those not alpha, when around, me, feel empowered to biff back at the bullies, if they get near me, they're empowered not there other times, to take on the bully with a scissor attack. It could be to protect me, in their minds, or it could be dealing with a bully attach from alpha (at worst, a full wrestling embrace with no release, and deep bites.....damn, as cats do). Often, it means little Scooter does some scything of the air, but Frank has been scratched. In the car, on many trips, she'd be so pent up with bully control by dad, that she'd let loose, and go on full time attacks. She always apologized, but kept it up. She said things she didn't feel strong enough to say with him alone. He'd just ratchet up some bully controls: cut back her gas money, silent treatments throughout day, leaving home without telling even overnight fishing, rebuking her actions or a brand of item bought, or giving a mother's day gift for under $1 or other cheapness to make her feel worthless (the trip to get said item, would often be a trip where motorcycle or fishing parts ("necessities") would be purchased usually around $100 a trip for him. At her death, she wanted nothing to do with funerals. So, the fam, sans me, planned a month after Irish wake. This meant food and booze. Rick's then wife set up a table of pix of her, sans anybody else’s items. Me, I walked naively into this, not knowing what that an Irish wake was really and Irish wake. Seeing nobody would mention here name, I took the reins. I was still fresh in grief. I knew was memorials were about: grief. I opened up just an inquiry, sharing one of my fond memories. Others, knowing it was a wake, and watching Doug, Rick, Tami, and Dad, for their disapproval of this, added odd joking comments, trying to add their funny Irish Wake comments. I couldn’t understand it when Aunt X said she had good olfactory senses, and her Brother said she was pretty "fucked up in her life". All the while, I was oblivious to the Joker's Minions behind me. But, I did what was proper. But, my dad had a full other take on the Wake. It was the Irish part of the wake that was booze: he could drink with others approving drunkenness "for his grief", though it was just a time to drink expensive booze at the bar all laid out. And, there were goodies, snacks and full foods, because at a wedding and a wake like this, others wouldn't the expense: there were crab cakes, shrimp dips: it was the seafood buffet. Now, I think about it, my dad was there as if going to the Seafood Buffet at the Sizzler, it was that self-narcissist "for Me" buffet, and unlimited booze.....with no rules.....and he was always the one to serve his open appetites, of all types. (When we take trips, about 1/3 of the focus of the day with dad is him getting his gourmet delights, coffees, sweets, snacks.....all day long). As a child, I remember going to restaurants and others having burgers, but he's always load on shrimp cocktail, largest salad available, biggest T-bone....he'd often be sick that night and the next day....it was the Romans without the vomitorium. So, for him, the Wake was NOT about mom, it was about him, and his entitlement, pleasure, and food delights. Now, this is the beginning of the end for me with my Fam. The Wake. I did not eat or drink, as grief doesn't need that. But, the fam then saw me as violating family "rules", and pushing my own "psychotherapist new age counselor rules", though I was actually born with all my values and they've never changed. But, I violated the Rules. I was forever on Dad's shit list since then: on any trip: he treats me like I'm mom he then took possession of my Grandma's house, and then sold to Doug for a final bill of 15,000. Greg, at night the other day, I remember one time you helped me move, and you and my dad were in a Haul truck, at my grandma's house 2501 N. 20. Forever since then, I was a non-person. My plans to remodel the home, which I lived in 6 years and made significant changes to, upkeep, for my Grandma and partly pay for rent....were ignored. Not seen, literally, in his mind, and in his brain as a Narcissist, it registered not: any conversation, piece of paper.....any true emotion shared. (Recent research on psychopathy and narcissism validated this lack of mental processing and memory: their brains don't accept the info and don't retain it on a brain bio basis: that region of the brain is deficient in all ways. ......it's so gone that when I remind him of any of this, mom, the house, etc. he'll kick me out of his house. Fuck Off. Other times, in old age conversation, he’ll launch into one of the success stories he tells others often about, the successes which are the “norm” for his life: And, I had a good event: I sold my eldest son Doug a home on N. 20th and Hill, for less and market value. (the pride: he just happened to have an extra home, and out of his beneficence, he passed this on to the eldest with a token cost. So, it’s that date, it all became clear. Now, I was in this role Always. There were a million stories of this from all ages, from Doug gets new fishing reel but Chuckie is sublimated with a hot fudge sundae from Dairy Queen (and the story is: we’re going there just for you….though Bert set it up all along, with a “be good in Boise and you’ll get that hot fudge sundae with a cherry from Dairy Queen”. Really, he wanted the Sunday and sold me the story that it was Just for Special me. So, it’s that date, 2001, two weeks after 911, that it became CLEARER. Of course, it took a few years to the clarity to solidify. But, on that day, the gift from God of clarity continued. Grief with my mom was complex, taking a decade to sort out the awful PTSD behavior, and the loving behavior. Very complex. Now, I think much grief is over, but: 1. Being marginalized in a society, then having it reinforced by the State of Idaho, the locals, and the GOP has made reminders ever present…… 2. I do remember mama…. 3. I do gift my non-alpha cats some leeway to get back at Frank, but intervene if I can…..try to bring calm and peace…..but cats are cats and it works 90% of the time. Sorrow though, it deep. Grief can be tackled, but sorrow catches you at the wrong moments, and lingers often without you knowing why. Sorrow has always been the catalyst to my eating: which is not a food addiction per se, but a treatment, without knowing why, to try to elevate myself out of sorrow states. There are interventions, though you’re in a stuck state and don’t see those fast enough: you often stay there for 3 days or 3 weeks before something kicks in or kicks you and you recognize it and come out of the Sleep. What is the sorrow? Mom Marginalized No father Gay and no gay life until 28, missing all those growing things No parents as role models Breaking family rules meant kicked out for good, and only groveling would change, which I’d not do Really, since perhaps age 6, a life of sorrow. It’s constantly there, just like …. What does it take to get a “philosophy” to understand sorrow? Future stories from Parabola: Wendego and Fear Hanuman gets courage to jump to Sri Lanka the Healing Altar Hey, don't whine that you have to sign your name to see these in Pinterest. It's free and you should have been posting ideas, creativity, and DIY there....you bum..... http://bit.ly/2YDxUgE Healing altars, formal, informal, religious or not: it's You: altars therapeutic and self healing, brain damage of ptsd and lack of trauma validation, constant sorrow http://bit.ly/2wblEId