#so getting to the end and discovering this is immensely frustrating

[countthelions]

Discovering the sweater you've been working on for almost two months isn't fitting as it should is the Worst feeling. I'm so close to the end though :((((

[hoiststowline]

_bluestreak x reader

aside from the usual quiet sighs of relief shared among friends when someone returns to base unharmed, Bluestreak can't recall a time when anyone was so outwardly excited to see him. it’s a reaction that brings him to his knees, patience forced to stand firm as you meet him halfway, even if he’d rather have you in his arms ten minutes ago. 

it’s an intoxicating feeling, especially when his arrival is more of a surprise than a pre-planned date, not that he isn’t counting down the minutes himself. for someone better described as a chatterbox, it’s no easy feat to keep such a secret, sincerely always wanting you to be untroubled. 

“Was that a yawn?” it takes immense effort to even scrounge the question, knowing the moment he acknowledged it, he’d have to put his foot down. “It’s pretty late, y/n. Maybe we should call it for the night.” 

it had been a decent stretch of time since the two of you last saw each other, tugged apart by unfair schedules and unrehearsed changes to once concrete plans. phone calls were even far and few inbetween, and just as soon as it started, in the blink of an eye three hours had already passed the both of you by. 

“No,” you insist, but it’s overruled by another stifled yawn. 

Bluestreak wants you to know that he always misses you, just as much as you miss him, and somehow even more, if that's humanly possible. you always retaliate, never quite concluding the conversation even if you begrudgingly admit there's some work you need to complete. you definitely miss him more, and while it may or may not be true, he always concedes to your jovial affection. 

every chance he gets, messages always conclude the same way: I miss you. 

it doesn’t feel right to end an exchange any other way, as likely the only time messages are swapped is when the two of you have been apart for longer than usual. he’d rather be physically present with you, but texting sufficed until it didn’t, mostly when he was being dragged along to his responsibilities.

“You’re lying,” Bluestreak laughs, in a teasing manner. “C’mon, I know you need your sleep. We can pick this up tomorrow.”

there’s never a guarantee as to why he never makes promises he doesn’t intend to keep. he’d go out of his way every single time if it meant speaking with you for five minutes on the phone, but such precious time was never ascertained. schedules change, rapidly at that, and as much as he wishes he could promise you the simplest thing, he couldn’t bear to have to break such trust. largely because somewhere in the back of his processor, he knew he’d break a lot of promises if he became too overzealous to make them so easily. 

“Only four more days to get through.” he adds, hoping to cheer you up some and lessen the hardship in saying goodbye for the evening. 

something twinges in his chassis at your groan of frustration, and he can practically picture you rolling over in bed and screaming into a nearby pillow. “Four days too many.” 

“Y’know…” he starts, but knows better than to propose such a bad idea. 

“I do, I know.” you mumble, curling up atop your sheets underneath a blanket or two. “M’sorry, Bluestreak.” 

Bluestreak stumbles over his words, talking far too fast to try and revise what he truly meant. “No, I didn’t- I didn’t mean it like that. I was going to suggest something stupid. You have every right to feel however you want to feel, and I feel the same way.”

sitting up, your heart skips a beat, finding something in his words that had you wondering just what he truly intended. “What were you going to say?” 

“It’s a bad idea, y/n.” but it’s on the edge of his glossa, even more now that you’re seemingly onboard with little coaxing and having no idea of what he’s truly asking. 

he had discovered some unexpected spare time before the next day, but imploring such would mean you would have to give up your much needed rest, required to be prepared for tomorrow's tasks. it remains undoubtedly selfish to even have considered it, but his desire to just see your face, if only for a little while, overpowers that notion. 

Bluestreak has yet to find a compromise to that problem. there is likely nothing that will ever satisfy that desire, so when a wedge like this is forced upon the two of you, it's difficult but circumstantially manageable. it’s not impossible, he’s trudged through it before, but it doesn’t mean that it’s automatically easy. it’s hard to not see someone you simply adore for superficially torturous amounts of time. 

it’s taken at face value, he often has to remind himself. something he has to accept for the time being, until a more agreeable solution can be uncovered. he doesn’t know when that will happen, if it ever will, but with all things considered, he can adhere to wishful thinking. 

“Can I hear it?” you entreat in a small voice, and at that Bluestreak knows he’s all but lost this stalemate. part of him wonders if he subconsciously extended such sentiments because he knew this would happen, even if he also understood you needed your rest. 

perhaps he could satiate both wants, simultaneously. 

he can’t describe the expression you make, it’s a mixture of elation and reassurance, relieved to shake the concern that’s had you wound up throughout the past month. it’s unyielding, and this time he swears there’s a glassiness in your eyes that was never there before. 

nothing takes very long to be set in motion, as the self-restraint Bluestreak once had is tossed aside the moment his hands make contact with your sides. there’s hardly any coherent words exchanged, your whispers of “I missed you so much,” dissolve into ticklish laughter, unable to suppress it as he kisses every inch he can possibly reach.

though he wishes to cater to you and ensure your happiness holds firm, Bluestreak will never turn down your sincere gestures, small fingers finding his cheeks as you place kisses all along his face. his thumbs run over your stomach, soft, gentle motions as if to remind himself that you are here, present in the moment and he hasn’t conjured this one up on false pretenses. 

“This wasn’t a bad idea.” your lips are so soft, ghosting over his cheek as you mumble sentences that have his spark doing summersaults. “You never have bad ideas, Blue.”

one hand cups your back, holding you in place against the crook of his neck. his other hand relaxes behind his helm, now nestled in his berth as you fight the urge to completely crash. it’s increasing in complexity, as his thumb now draws lazy circles over the top of your thigh, turning inward every now and then to kiss the crown of your head. 

“I wouldn’t say that.” he faintly laughs, melting as somehow you dip deeper into his touch. “This one was pretty good, though.”

after such a reunion, Bluestreak insisted you get straight to bed, murmuring that you’ve certainly had enough excitement for this hour of the day. in the morning, he’d fix the mess he assuredly created, but for now, he could be at full ease. every ounce of energy he previously had was drawn from him, joints settling as he heavily acknowledged the perfectness in such an observation. 

he stops trying to steal glances your way upon taking into account your evened out breathing, fingers halting their dancing over his plating. your cheek has smushed happily against his, and he concludes his mindless touches against your velvety clothes. 

“Good night,” Bluestreak was never a good whisperer, but this tenderness arrives without a second thought. “Sleep well, y/n.”

[leonstoenailunderhisbed]

You’ve bewitched me

Summary: A war lasting three years became heavy on the front lines. Many people died and lost their homes from the actions of one kingdom. But to end the war, both kingdoms agreed to seal an alliance through an arranged marriage. Caught in a loveless marriage with the crown prince, a whirlwind of emotions blasts through foreign land as you try to make your life in the enemy kingdom bearable.

Warnings: slow-burn. Leon is a piece of dick in the beginning. angst. eventual smut. arranged marriage. reader is a princess and Leon is the crown prince. enemies to lovers (i think?). inaccurate historical information. READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION

Word Count: 11,222

A/N: sorry for not posting in a while, life’s been a bit tough but I’m back better than ever. I want to make this a mini serious (like probably three chapters) but I’ll see how this goes.

[pt.2][pt.3]

“I just can’t say goodnight” — Cosmic, Red Velvet

The Three-Year War was the start of a new era. An era in which two rival kingdoms finally join together in an allegiance. But the memory of how the war began was one that all too many remembered deeply.

It started with a small fight between the two kings over a land of territory that was unowned to either kingdom. Your father, the king of the Kingdom of the Coast, had found a mine in which gold was discovered. Immense amounts of gold hidden beneath the layers of rock called for his attention, which also called the attention of another king.

The Kingdom of the West noticed some strange activity in between the borders of both kingdoms, and the king sent a small army to figure out what was going on. Much to his surprise, the soldiers found citizens of the kingdom of the coast roaming close to the border that separated the two kingdoms and were immediately drawn to the defensive. The two kingdoms hated each other, although not a surprising fact. Both sides argued about who gets to own the mine, debates and meetings sparked between both kings, both claiming the mine was their right.

You didn’t know the full story, as princess of your kingdom, your duty didn’t lie with politics and war. Your duties were much different. When the king left the castle to join in on the war, you sat by the window hopelessly waiting for his return, and he did return, he came back with news of marriage.

And so here you are, on a carriage ride to the Kingdom of the West, foreign lands filled the view of the carriage window but that wasn’t what you focused on. Your thoughts circled back to when your father came back and broke the news of your sudden engagement.

“You are to not argue with the king!” your father said as he slammed his fists against his desk in frustration, “You will get married to the Crown Prince of the West Kingdom whether you like it or not. It is not your duty to argue, it is your duty to obey.”

Even though you knew you had no say in the marriage, you still sought freedom in choosing who to be wedded to. Mother has told you stories about how she had the chance to choose her husband among many suitors, and for years you believed you’d go through the same thing. Only for your hopes to be crushed in the midst of a war.

Upon arriving at the castle of the West Kingdom, you felt a bit unnerved. You were an enemy on foreign land, you had the disadvantage, one that you believed would make you suffer.

“Your Royal Highness, we’ve arrived,” said the servant driving the carriage. As you stepped out of the carriage, you saw a line of servants and maids lined up on the sides of the entrance, along with the royal family.

“Ah, you’re here,” said the king of the West Kingdom as he bowed at you, “Welcome, I hope the journey was not too tiring.”

You knew he only spoke out of respect but there was an underlying emotion that made you believe he didn’t mean it, “Your Majesty,” you said as you curtsied the king, right before you turned your attention to the young man next to him, his son.

His son stood tall, eyes boring into yours with judgment and even resentment. But he didn’t say anything, only bowing along with his father. His icy blue eyes held hatred, one that he had no shame in hiding. His blonde hair was neatly slicked back as his attire screamed rich and royal.

“This is my son, Crown Prince Leon,” the king said before he snapped his fingers and a maid came up to help you with your bags, “Come right in, my servants will show you to your chambers and then we’ll attend dinner.”

The king turned around to leave, wasting no second in going back inside the palace, all while his son glared at you before he followed right behind his father. For a welcome, it definitely went better than you had thought.

Your chambers were exquisite and quite extravagant, very different from home. Curtains hung from the ceiling over the bed, the very big bed. The windows were big enough to see just outside the gardens and training grounds. The room itself was like any other royal room, excessive decorations adorned the walls but it wasn’t something you weren’t used to.

“Your Royal Highness, we are your ladies-in-waiting, it is our honor to make your acquaintance,” a woman said as she bowed her head at you, followed by two other women behind her. You simply nodded and returned the bow, “Pleasured to make your acquaintance,” you replied softly.

“Let us help you prepare for dinner, the king does not like waiting,” she said right before the three of them started to work diligently on helping you into new clothes.

-

Dinner with the king and his son was a bit awkward. The table was silent, a contrast to how your family ate during dinner. Maybe it was because it was just Leon and the king, but even then it was too quiet.

“So, princess,” the king started as he sipped from his wine cup, “how are you liking the palace?”

“It’s beautiful, Your Majesty,” you replied.

The king chuckled, almost as if he knew his castle was beautiful, “Yes, yes, quite the vision for a foreigner,” he said.

“An enemy,” Leon suddenly spoke up for the first time today, “She’s not a foreigner, she’s the enemy,” his tone was bitter and cold. His hands gripping his silverware tight enough to turn his knuckles white. The king stiffened slightly before he downed his wine and set the cup back down, all while staring into the abyss.

“Son,” the king said in a quiet mutter but loud enough for you to hear, “the war is over. She’s going to be your wife, show some respect.”

But Leon didn’t like that. He slammed his silverware down against the table, servants turning their heads to look at Leon as he glared at you, “She’s anything but my wife. She’s a murderer and an enemy. I will not show my respect,” he said right before he stood up and stormed out of the dining hall. The king sighed after the doors slammed closed and you could only stare down at your plate.

“I apologize for my son–he,” the king said as he tried to come up with an excuse for his son’s behavior, only to not be able to say anything else for the remainder of dinner. It was clear that feelings of hatred still lingered from the war even though the war allegedly ended.

“Have a goodnight, princess,” he muttered before he stood up and also left the dining hall, leaving you alone with your half eaten plate.

This was your life from now on. A loveless marriage in a castle where you’re hated by everyone.

-

Months passed after your first day in the palace and not one had it been an easy one for you. Leon avoided you altogether and wouldn’t dare be in the same room as you, he wanted you to know his hatred for you and your kingdom. It became pointless trying to talk to him when you saw him in the halls as he’d turn around and walk in the direction he came from. Or if he was feeling bold, he’d walk right past you without acknowledging you. He loathed you.

Leon’s schedule was busy, as the heir of the throne and son of the current king, he had to manage some of the duties that came with that role. However, he wasn’t always busy, he only locked himself in his study and stuffed himself in tomorrow’s work to avoid you. His hatred ran deep and rooted in a dark place at the bottom of his heart. But he did have an outlet; sword training.

Many days and many nights he’d spend his time outside in the training grounds to let out all his pent up anger. And this only made you feel more alone.

When it was the day of the wedding, both families met together in a church. It was supposed to be a good day for you, weddings were supposed to be a blessing, but this one seemed like a curse. Both kings were delighted as this meant that they were now allies. It was a bit weird seeing your father and Leon’s father get along like childhood friends but there was nothing you could do. Both kingdoms were now united and the war has officially been declared to be over.

Leon, however, didn’t kiss you on the altar. He only gave you a nod, but hey, it was something different from the usual glares.

So now, here you were, in your shared chambers sitting on your vanity stool as you brushed your hair. It was nighttime and Leon had yet to come to bed. He’s always done this. Even though you were now husband and wife, he did everything he could to establish a barrier with you. He’d sleep on the couch near the fireplace as you slept alone on the bed, he’d purposefully wake up earlier as to not greet you in the morning, and he’d come back late at night to not see you awake.

He was a cruel and cold man who wanted nothing with you. You were just about to make your way to the bed when the door suddenly opened. Leon didn’t even spare a glance at you as he made his way to the couch, sitting down and ruffling his hair as he sighed heavily. You stared at him from the reflection of your vanity mirror, watching as he closed his eyes and leaned back against the backrest of the couch. He looked exhausted and if you were in any other circumstances, you’d ask what was wrong. But unfortunately, you knew it would be useless.

The man hated you and there was nothing you could do to change his mind.

“I heard you were making plans to change the garden,” he suddenly said, his eyes still closed as he spoke to you in his distant tone. You turned around on your stool to face him, “Yes, I wanted to replace a few flowers,” you replied softly.

Leon let out a dry scoff before he opened his eyes and looked at you, “And you didn’t consult me about it?” he asked coldly. He stood up to his full height and walked over to you, standing at a distance as he also loathed the idea of touching you.

“You think you can go behind my back and change the place however you want?” he asked lowly as he glared down at you, “I am the Crown Prince, I don’t care if the gardens lie under your duties, you consult me first. Do you understand?”

“Yes but–”

“Do not defy me,” he muttered as he took a step closer to you, “You think you can waltz in here and change everything without ever checking with me?” he then scoffed humorlessly and smirked in a mocking manner, “That’s what your people ever seem to do. You take and you take until you’re full, and forget about everyone else, don’t you?”

“Well, let me tell you something, princess,” he said your title out of spite, “You’re nothing but my wife here. You may be the future queen but you still have to obey me first. Whatever I say goes, and if I want the damn garden to stay that way then it will stay that way,” he muttered with an edge of threat in his tone.

He continued to glare at you, eyes boring into yours with so much resentment. And all you could was nod at him, “Yes, Your Highness,” you replied weakly in a whisper. Leon stared at you for a few seconds longer before he scoffed and walked back to the couch, not wanting to be bothered by you anymore.

-

The next day was busy for you, as future queen of the kingdom, there were a few things you needed to learn about the West Kingdom.

“Again,” the teacher said in a neutral tone as you sat in the library with books stacked on the table, “It’s not too hard to understand.”

You sighed frustratingly, you’ve been reading the same chapter for thirty minutes and you couldn't understand, “Easy for you to say, you’ve been living here your whole life. I’ve been here for three months and I still don’t understand how this kingdom works.”

“Princess, if I may be so bold,” he said as he looked at you, “you’re a smart lady, you understood everything thus far, what’s preventing you from understanding this minor detail?”

You knew what the teacher was insinuating, he thinks you’re distracted. And you know how he feels about distractions, with another sigh you spoke in a much quieter tone, “I just… I just have a lot on my mind, that’s all.

“Do you now?” he asked quietly as he seemed to be observing and analyzing your behavior.

“Yes, I do,” you replied a bit more firmly, even though you didn’t mean to come off as defensive, you couldn’t help but feel that way. It was as if Leon had conditioned you to stay that way during your stay.

Everyone in the palace, the servants and the maids, were well aware of Leon’s mistreatment towards you. He wasn’t one to shy away from letting everyone of his hatred for you. Some pitied you but they wouldn’t dare go against Leon as he was the crown prince.

“It’s the crown prince, isn’t he?” The teacher said bluntly and almost unimpressed. You, however, felt a bit surprised. Were you that obvious?

“How do you know?” You muttered softly as you narrowed your eyes at him.

“Who doesn’t know? All you two ever do is argue, well it’s mostly him, but you get my point.

Shame is what you felt upon his answer. Was that how everyone saw the relationship between you and Leon? You were supposed to be husband and wife, a beacon of peace between two kingdoms and yet, you were more apart than the Atlantic sea.

“I just—I don’t know,” you muttered, “it’s like everything I do angers him. I tried to be kind to him and show respect but all he does is shut me down and pretend I don’t even exist.”

“He hasn’t even said a single kind word to me,” you continued as the teacher remained silent, “I know he didn’t ask for this, but I also didn’t. I just wish he could understand *me*.”

There was a silence that overtook between you and the teacher, as if he was contemplating what to say, “The crown prince has been through a lot,” he said after a few moments of silence, “all he needs is time and he’ll come around, eventually.”

“Eventually,” you repeated under your breath. It may have only been three months but you’d hoped that he would at least be a bit kinder to you. Much to your dismay, you knew that wouldn’t happen anytime soon.

After your studies, you roamed around the castle, trying to familiarize yourself with the structure. It was a bid castle, bigger than your own castle back home. Oh how you missed home.

You missed your bed, your friends, your family, the food they’d serve—you missed everything. Here, you were alone with a husband who hates you.

As you were about to make turn around the corner of the hall, someone’s hand suddenly covered your mouth as you felt them move you to pin you against the wall. It was a knight.

Your eyes widened but the knight held you firmly in place with one hand on your mouth and the other on your waist. Your heart was beating fast and your chest heaved up and down. Your maids walked on without you.

“Shh, princess,” the knight murmured in a sultry tone, “we don’t want to cause a scene, now do we?” You quickly shook your head ‘no’ terrified that he would do something to you.

The knight smirked and held you firmly in place against the wall, loving how scared of him you looked.

“Such a pretty thing…” His hand on your waist started to wander, his fingers brushing over your corset.

“I’ve wanted you for a while now….”

He moved closer to speak into your ear, his hand on your mouth moving to your hair to hold a fistful of it, while the other hand continued to wander.

“Let me go,” you whispered and closed your eyes tightly shut as you felt him hold your hair in a fist, ruining your hairstyle while his other hand roamed your corset.

Your hands gripped the wall, you were beyond terrified. How dare he lay his hands on a married woman—a married princess.

The knight didn’t listen to your pleas, continuing to keep you pinned against the wall, his hands now grabbing your hips.

“Shhh,” he murmured, his lips now against your neck, “I want you all to myself.”

The knight started to undo some of the laces at the back of your corset. Your eyes widened slightly as you your hands quickly traveled to hold your corset up against your breasts to ensure that it wouldn’t fall.

“What are you doing—stop,” you ordered the knight.

The knight continued to undo the laces, the smirk on his face only growing as you tried to hold your corset up.

“Shh, don’t be like that, princess,” He murmured, his lips still against your neck as his hand moved to your wrists, “Let me do this…”

He started to loosen your corset, his hand then moving to squeeze your hip. He was too busy to notice Leon and the king, who were walking down the other side of the hall.

The laces of your corset were fully undone, the strings hanging down your back as you held the material up your chest, “My husband is the heir to the throne, he’ll have you decapitated if he sees you,” you threatened.

But you didn’t know if Leon would even do that for you. Leon hated you, he despised you to the point where he ignored your existence on a daily basis.

The knight simply smirked against your neck, his hands starting to wander and exploring your body.

“I doubt the crown prince would care,” he replied huskily, his hand cupping your breast through the fabric, “He doesn’t love you.”

As the king and Leon continued down the hall, Leon suddenly froze, a look of anger immediately appearing on his face. His anger grew as he saw you in the knight’s embrace. His father had no reaction, but Leon was pissed.

He walked down the hall quickly to you and the knight, staring at you with a hard glare. Leon’s jaw clenched as his eyes flicked to all the loose laces of your corset.

“What is the meaning of this?!” The king angrily exclaimed as he and Leon walked over to the knight.

You looked over at the King and Leon from behind the knight and felt even more worse. You felt embarrassed and ashamed of being seen like this. So you directed your attention to the floor as you tried not to cry.

The knight froze when he heard the king and Leon’s footsteps and voices, his hands freezing and the smirk on his face falling.

He quickly removed his hands from you, stepping away and quickly bowing in the king’s presence.

“Your majesty,” he said in a hurry, sweat forming on his forehead.

Leon stood behind his father, his eyes locked on you, taking in your appearance. His mind was a mixture of anger and disgust, seeing you with your laces undone and your corset askew.

When the knight took his hands off of you and took a step back, you fell down to the floor and held your corset up as to not expose yourself further.

You still avoided all their gazes, it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t want any of this to happen to you.

“What were you thinking?!” The king started to reprimand the knight, “How dare you disrespect the lady of the house like that?!”

Leon’s eyes were locked on your face. He was angry. No. Enraged. Furious. Watching the knight touch you, the man’s hands on your body, groping you, made his blood boil.

He hated you. He hated you so much. But no one could touch you like that. You’re his wife. His property.

The king continued to yell at the knight, while Leon walked over to you and knelt down in front of you.

“Once we go back home, I’ll make sure you to punish you,” the king said the knight in a harsh tone, “Let’s go.”

He then looked down at you and Leon before he started to walk away with his knight trailing behind him. The moment it was just Leon and you in the hall, you could practically feel the anger rolling off of him. He clenched his fists at his sides, his jaw clenched and teeth gritted.

He couldn’t believe it. The sight of the knight’s hands on you, his lips on your neck, his hands cupping your breast… it made him see red.

He hated you. He despised you. But you were his. His wife. No one else was supposed to touch you like that.

Your maids were frantically looking for you and then they found you on the floor with Leon kneeling in front of you.

“My Lady,” one of them said as they ran over to both of you. They slowly helped you up, covering you body as they held you corset up, “Oh my,” another said under her breath.

My maids looked at Leon and bowed at him, “Excuse us, Your Highness,” one said before they started to drag you to your shared chambers. Leon stood up and watched as your maids hurried over to you, their eyes widening at your appearance.

For a moment, he considered whether or not to have the knight killed for what he did. He hated you. But you were his, and he wanted to make sure you knew that. He wouldn’t ever let another man touch you like that. But he also wouldn’t ever let anyone disrespect him like that.

The maids took you to your shared quarters where they helped you out of your dress and into your nightdress, getting you ready for sleep since it was already quite dark outside. Once you were dressed for the night, your maids left your quarters.

It was late at night. Leon went to his study to finish up some paperwork, before finally heading to yours and his shared quarters.

He was still enraged over what happened. The thought of the knight touching you, his hands on your body… it had Leon seeing red.

But why? Why did it anger him so much? It was because you were his wife and no one else was allowed to touch you. Not because he loved you, or even cared for you. Because you were his property.

When he was done with his paperwork, Leon entered the quarters, and immediately spotted you at the vanity desk. He still couldn’t get the sight of your appearance from what happened. Seeing you with your laces undone and your corset askew, the knight’s hands all over your body… it angered him for some unknown reason.

He slammed the door behind him, the sound echoing in the room as he stalked over to you. Your eyes widened and you visibly flinched when he suddenly slammed the door behind him.

“What happened,” he asked coldly, his voice low and harsh as he continued to approach you.

“What?” You muttered under your breath in mild shock.

But then you realized what he wanted, he wanted you to explain the whole thing. You swallowed dryly as you looked up at him, “I was walking with my maids until someone pulled me back and…” you muttered. Even talking about it made you uncomfortable.

Leon’s anger towards you made me uncomfortable, especially because you didn’t understand why he was so angry. His kingdom won the war yet he still saw you as his enemy, “But I tried to fight him off and I told him to stop. I even said you’d decapitate him but he didn’t listen.”

Leon’s anger only grew as he heard you recall what happened, that knight’s hands all over you while you tried to fight him off. The thought of it only made him even more enraged. How dare he touch you like that, and in the halls like that.

“Stupid woman,” he said scathingly, his deep voice full of disdain for you, “Of course he didn’t listen, he clearly didn’t care about what I’d do to him.”

You furrowed my brows and parted your lips as he called you that, Stupid woman.

It repeated in your mind several times, which caused your eyes to water. Did he think you enjoyed being harassed like that? You looked down at the floor, what else would you expect from Leon if it wasn’t going to be harsh words.

Leon’s eyes darkened at the sight of your watery eyes. He didn’t care if he offended or hurt you, as he saw you as nothing more than an obstacle.

“Clearly he thought you were some whore,” he continued, his words harsh and cold, “What else would he think? It’s not the first time something like this has happened, after all.”

He looked at you, a scornful look in his eyes. He hated you, but the thought of another man’s hands on you, it ignited a fire within him.

You looked back up at him in shock, did he just call you a whore? You were a princess, born and raised to be graceful and elegant and he reduces you to a whore? You felt disrespected.

“It is the first time a man has laid their hands on me,” you quickly argued back as you stood up, a tear rolling down your cheek, you’ve had enough of him, “You won’t even touch me. We haven’t even tried for an heir like your father wanted!”

Leon clenched his jaw, his eyes narrowing as you spoke. You had a point, a very valid point. But he wouldn’t admit that.

“Don’t expect me to actually want to touch you,” he sneered, his voice dripping with disgust, “You’re just the price I had to pay to stop the war. I’ll have heirs, but they won’t be yours. I’ll never allow my children to share your blood.”

He took a step closer to you, his eyes cold and hard. A scoff escaped your lips, “You’re calling me a whore when you just admitted you’d have heirs with other women?” You said in disbelief.

“You are a selfish bastard, your heart is brittle and rotten,” you whispered harshly to him as another tear rolled down.

Leon’s eyes darkened at your words. Selfish bastard. He knew that’s what you thought of him, but hearing you actually admit it angered him. But not as much as the thought of having heirs with you.

“You’re the one who’s delusional,” he spat, “You’re not worthy enough to have my heirs or the title of queen. That’s the only reason I’ll be lying with other women.”

He took another step closer, his jaw clenching. He loathed you. Hated you.

Him admitting that hurt you beyond belief. It was like something in you and you gave up. Hearing him not just say that he’ll lay with other women but that you were useless as well hurt.

You looked at him with pain in your eyes, your jaw clenched as you tried to hold back your tears, “Fine,” you whispered in a resigned tone.

“Go ahead. Sleep around with other women,” you muttered, “Just don’t complain when your name gets brought up in a brothel for being their number one customer.”

You gave up. He hated you beyond repair and nothing you could do could change that. So you simply just decided to stop. The mere thought of him being with other women hurt more than you thought it would. All my life you’ve been taught and raised to be the fitting queen by his side. What purpose did you have now?

Leon was caught off guard by your resigned tone and the look in your eyes. He wasn’t expecting you to give up like this. He expected more of a fight from you.

“I will,” he said firmly, his eyes still cold and hard, “In fact, I’ll start tonight.”

His words stung. He wanted heirs, but not from his “arranged” wife, you. He could only imagine the children you could raise together, but he could never allow himself to even think about it.

Your heart broke even more. Tonight? Your mouth gaped open but you quickly closed it and remained silent as your eyes watered. You couldn’t do anything.

“Alright,” you whispered, “Go on. I won’t stop you,” you turned around and went over to your bed.

You sat down on the edge, taking off your shoes. Then you blew out your candle and laid down on the bed, bringing the covers up to your chin and closed your eyes. You did not want to cry but why does it feel like you are?

Leon could simply only watch you. He expected you to get angry and lash out at him, but instead, you simply accepted it.

The sight of you on the bed, pulling the covers up to your chin with tears in your eyes, stirred something in him. But he forced it down. He hated you. He’d always hate you.

“I won’t be coming back here tonight,” he said coldly, his voice harsh and emotionless, as he turned and headed for the door.

Leon could hear your soft whimpers as he headed towards the door, but he ignored them. He didn’t care if you were crying or not. He didn’t care how hurt you were because of him. All he cared about was himself.

Even though he felt something stir in him when he saw you on the bed, crying and upset, he forced it down. He continued to ignore it as he opened the door and left. He wouldn’t come back tonight. He was going to find a woman he actually liked. One that wasn’t you.

Leon walked away from the quarters. He headed out of the palace and out into the town.

Tonight, he was going to visit the taverns to find a woman to spend the night with. The thought of you was still in the back of his mind, but he pushed it down, determined to have a distraction from the thoughts of you crying in bed alone.

He could have a woman or two in a tavern, and that would distract him. Perhaps when he returned, you’d be asleep and he wouldn’t have to think about you at all.

The nearest tavern was full of women lingering around in skimpy gowns, obviously known as the hookers that attracted attention to the business.

But amidst all the women, could he really just forget about you? The hurt in you eyes, your bottom lip slightly trembling whenever you’d cry, or the way your eyes would look like a wounded puppy? Could he really find a distraction from that gnawing feeling at his chest with a woman who’d forget him next thing in the morning?

He was the crown prince, everyone wanted a piece of him, but no one dared. The women looked at him, but didn’t approach him. In their eyes, he too high up in the ranks. Leon could feel the eyes of the women in the tavern on him as he entered.

But he couldn’t have you, even though you were his wife. That was the problem. He could be with any woman, but he would never allow himself to allow you to get close to him because he hated you.

But as he continued to look around, Leon began to falter. He began to grow frustrated. Because every woman he looked at, he found himself comparing to you.

The women were no match for you, and as much as he hated to admit it, he knew it was true. You were beautiful and gracious, and the women in the tavern could never compare.

He grew frustrated by this realization. He was the crown prince. He could have any woman he wanted, yet no one here seemed worthy of him. He let out a frustrated sigh, his eyes still scanning the crowd of drunken soldiers and whores. None of them compared to you, and he hated knowing that.

Leon had spent hours in the tavern, but he found no one who could compare to you. It was infuriating. No matter who he looked at, you were the one he kept thinking about.

As the night continued to drag on, Leon began to think it was time to return to the castle. It was getting late, and the longer he was away, the more he would think about you. With a grumble, he left the tavern and headed back towards the castle.

Leon entered the castle, still feeling frustrated and annoyed. He had wasted hours at the tavern, only to come back to the castle empty-handed.

The halls were quiet as he made his way down, heading to the quarters he shared with you. He knew you were asleep this late, and the thought of you being fast asleep in bed annoyed him, but not as much as the thought of seeing you crying.

When he pushed open the door to your shared quarters, his eyes landed on you. You were asleep, your hair fanned out over the pillow, looking beautiful even in your sleep. He mentally cursed himself for thinking you were attractive.

Leon shut the door behind him, watching you sleep for a few moments. He couldn't deny how beautiful you looked, even in your sleep. Your hair was spread out on the pillow, and the way the moonlight hit your face, it was beautiful.

But Leon quickly squashed that thought. He hated you, he despised you. He could never find anything about you beautiful or attractive, no matter what.

He walked over to the bed, looking down at you as you slept soundly, unbothered by his arrival. Leon couldn't help but watch you as you shifted in your sleep, rolling onto your back. You looked beautiful, even with tear stains on your cheeks, presumably from crying after he left for the tavern.

He should've been thinking about the women he met at the tavern. He should've been comparing them to you, wanting to hurt you by going on about how much more beautiful they were. But Leon found himself unable to do that. He couldn't compare you to the tavern whores. In his eyes, none of them came close to your beauty.

He hated you, but not even he could deny that you were the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. Leon let out a quiet sigh, looking to the couch by the fireplace. He would be on the couch, and nothing more. He would never sleep in the bed with you.

When morning rolled up, your maids came into the room to help get ready for the day. All while you didn’t spare Leon a glance. His words deeply hurt you and you had given up on him.

He was free to do what he wanted, not like you had a say in the first place, his servants came into the room to help get dressed for the day as well.

“Your Highness,” one of your maids said as she started to do your hair as you sat on your vanity stool, “The gardener is here to help you renovate the garden.”

“Ah,” you replied to her, “I forgot to cancel the renovation plans. I’ll meet him downstairs,” The maid nodded and continued with your hair. When she was done helping you, you made your way out of the room and towards the lobby of the castle.

Once you reached downstairs with your maids behind you, you spoke French to the gardener since he was French, “Bonjour, je suis désolé mais j’ai peur de devoir annuler les plans pour le jardin.”

Leon’s servants, once he was dressed, started to follow him downstairs as he also had business to do. Or maybe training. Who knew what his schedule was.

The French gardener looked at you in surprise as you spoke to him in perfect French. He didn't expect you to speak the language, but it was a pleasant surprise nevertheless. Your maids were also quite surprised to hear you were fluent in another language, you must’ve learned foreign languages back home.

"Ah, Bonjour," he replied with a smile, "Ce n’est pas grave, Votre Altesse, je pourrais toujours vous donner mes conseils pour l’avenir si vous le souhaitez.”

Leon's servants followed him as he made his way downstairs, his ears perked and listening to the conversation between you and the gardener. He wasn’t aware you could speak another language so fluently.

You nodded, figuring that some advice wouldn’t hurt anyone. You started to walk towards the gardens with your maids behind you as the gardener walked next to you.

Once you reached outside, you spoke to the gardener, in French, about how you wanted to change some of the flowers and replace them with better ones.

“My Lord,” one of his servants said to Leon, “the grounds are ready for you to practice sword fighting, Your instructor is waiting.”

He grunted in response to his servant, "Very well. I shall head there now," He was about to turn and walk away when he suddenly changed his mind.

"Actually," he said to the servant, "I shall go outside first," The servant's brow furrowed in confusion, but Leon ignored him. He began walking outside instead, heading towards the garden area, seemingly wanting to follow you.

As Leon walked towards the garden area, his servants followed behind him. Some were confused and others surprised at the sudden change of plans.

“Je veux me débarrasser des tournesols, ils bloquent les roses de l'autre côté du buisson,” you said to the gardener, unaware of Leon approaching the garden area, “Pouvez-vous remplacer les tournesols par des pivoines?”

The French gardener nodded at your suggestion, "Bien sûr. Nous pouvons certainement remplacer les tournesols par des pivoines. Elles seront de bien meilleures plantes en cette période de l'année."

The gardener began to think, "Peut-être devrions-nous aussi semer des jacinthes pour ajouter un peu de variété."

As the gardener spoke, Leon continued to walk towards the garden area. His eyes narrowed as he heard the sound of you and the gardener speaking in French. He was feeling suspicious.

“My Lord,” one of Leon’s servants followed behind him, “Shall we introduce you to the gardener? He came all this way from France.”

Leon grunted in response to his servant, his gaze still focused on you and the gardener. The way you smiled at the gardener made his blood boil.

As you both continued to speak in French, his servants looked at each other, some looking confused while others looked amused. They knew of his hatred for you, and they could tell that he was irritated by you speaking to the gardener.

Finally, Leon came to a stop a few feet behind you, his arms crossed over his chest. He remained silent, listening to the conversation between you and the gardener.

You hadn’t noticed Leon behind you but your maids, however, did notice and they glanced at the servants with a nervous expression, one that said ‘what is he doing here?’. It seemed that Leon’s irritation and anger was evident.

“Your Highness,” your maids said as they curtsied. The greeting making you a bit stiff as you turned and noticed Leon. You looked up at him, confused and a bit surprised. But the pain in your heart was still present. You followed after your maids, also curtsying Leon.

Leon's expression darkened as you both turned around to face him. His eyes were hard as they met yours, the irritation and anger written all over his face.

His servants stood quietly behind him, their eyes flickering between Leon and you, unsure of what to do. They could feel the tension in the air, and they could sense their master's anger.

"What are you doing?" Leon asked, his voice low and cold. He glanced at the gardener before looking back at you, his gaze unwavering.

You knew Leon was angry, everyone could tell, even the French gardener. It was as if anger just radiated off of him, “I was just seeking advice,” you said as you looked up at Leon.

“This is Augustus,” you said to Leon, “He’s a good friend of my brother who’s well-versed in gardening. I called for him to help,” you explained in a gentle voice. You would’ve sent him back to France but Leon didn’t really give you time to cancel plans so suddenly.

Leon's eyes narrowed as you explained why you called the gardener. His jaw clenched tightly, and his servants could see his hands balling into fists at his sides.

"Why did you not consult me before calling for this gardener?" he asked, his voice laced with irritation. His eyes flicked to the gardener, Augustus, before returning to you, “I thought I told you to consult me before you went off and made choices of your own.”

"What other plans do you have for the garden?" he continued, his gaze never leaving yours.

You glanced at my maids, seeing their nervous expression before you looked back at Leon. You could already feel the argument coming tonight.

“I wanted to get rid of the sunflowers as well as the weeds and replace them with peonies and hyacinths,” you replied.

“Some of your gardeners have been having trouble taming the weeds so I thought I could help find the root of the problem,” you mumbled softly.

As you spoke, Leon's jaw clenched even tighter. He couldn't believe you hadn't asked for his permission before making plans to change the garden.

"And you thought it was appropriate to invite a friend of your brother's to help without consulting me?" he snapped, his tone cold and biting. His eyes narrowed again as you continued, "What makes you think the problem can be solved so easily? You think you know better than my gardeners?"

Your eyes widened slightly as he snapped at you. You furrowed your brow and opened your mouth to defend yourself but ultimately decided against it. No matter what you say, he’ll just get more mad.

So, in resignation, you sighed and shook your head before you lowered your head, “No, Your Highness,” you said.

Leon's eyes narrowed further as you lowered your head, your submission fueling his anger. He loathed the fact that you so easily backed down, but he couldn't help but feel a twinge of satisfaction at your compliance.

"Exactly," he sneered, "You know nothing about gardening. Leave it to the professionals. And next time you plan something, consult me first."

Leon glanced at the gardener, who had been listening in awkwardly. He felt a pang of annoyance at the man's presence.

“My lord,” one of Leon’s servants stood next to him, “we should go back. The instructor is waiting,” he kindly reminded Leon of his sword practice. Leon's eyes flicked over to his servant, a flicker of annoyance passing through them. He wasn't finished speaking to you, but the reminder about his practice session couldn't be ignored.

He gave his servant a terse nod before turning back to you, his expression hardening once more, "This conversation isn't over," he said, his voice low and cold. He shot one final glare at the gardener before turning and walking away, his servants following behind him. He knew the argument was going to continue later.

You knew the conversation was far from over, hell, you even thought he’d make you pay for it. And that was something you dreaded. Once he was gone, you turned to look at your maids.

“Escort the young boy to his carriage,” you said before you looked at the gardener, “Je m'excuse pour ce que vous avez vu, ce fut un plaisir de vous avoir ici.”

The gardener nodded at you, a sympathetic expression on his face. He had seen plenty of couple's disagreements before, but this one seemed particularly intense.

"Ce n'tait pas de votre faute," he said, his voice soft, "Je suis tout de même heureux de vous avoir rencontrée."

You felt bad that about the whole thing. You glanced at your maids and nodded at them, signaling them to take the young gardener away while you remained on the garden.

As Leon practiced on the training ground, his mind was still on the incident in the garden. Your insistence on changing the garden, your lack of asking him for permission, and the way you had spoken to the gardener all boiled his blood.

He couldn't believe that you had invited the gardener without telling him first. Who did you think you were? And the way you had looked so timid, lowering your head in submission like that. It made his blood boil even more.

He swung his sword harder, channeling his anger into his training.

Later. Later, he would deal with you.

For the rest of the day, you spent your time in the library reading and learning about Leon’s kingdom. There was so little that you could do now that Leon was angry at you yet again.

As you sat on a table near a window, you could see Leon practicing on the tracking grounds with other soldiers. The sun was beaming down on them, the sounds of their swords clanking being heard even from the second floor where you were.

You sighed, why did he have to be so rude to you? His kingdom won the war. Shouldn’t that make him happy? But you didn’t want to think about it. You redirected your gaze down towards your book and continued reading.

Some of the soldiers were sitting down, taking a break from their training as they watched Leon train with another soldier.

“Don’t he look more…tense?” One soldier said to the other. The other narrowed his eyes and tried to study Leon before he shook his head, “Huh…I don’t see it.”

“My lord—“ said the soldier Leon was training with, “We must take a break, you’ll hurt yourself.”

Leon ignored the soldier's pleas, his eyes focused on the sword in his hand.

"I don't need a break," he snapped, his voice harsh. No matter how hard he trained, he couldn't shake his annoyance with you. He lunged forward with his sword, aiming a blow at the soldier, who quickly blocked it. The clash of steel on steel echoed through the training grounds.

“Wait,” said the other soldier, “No, yeah, he’s tense,” the two soldiers sitting down nodded as they observed Leon going all out on his training.

The soldier started to block Leon’s blows but did not aim any at Leon. It was dangerous training with someone with so much anger. And that was until the soldier’s sword flew out of his hands and fell on the floor, a victory for Leon.

The two soldiers on the bench clapped and cheered for Leon, “Good work, my lord,” one said. The soldiers of his castle were good friends with Leon. Sometimes they’d go out for drinks after winning a battle.

Leon panted heavily as he stood over the soldier whose sword had been knocked out of his hand. His eyes were still hard and anger burned in them. He wiped the sweat off his forehead with his arm before glancing at the two soldiers who had been watching. He grunted in acknowledgment of their praise but didn’t smile. He dropped his own sword on the ground with a clatter and started walking towards the side of the training grounds. He needed a break.

One of the soldiers tossed Leon a water pouch as the other spoke to the soldier on the floor, “For a rookie, you did pretty good. Not amazing. But good,” he said with a smug smirk.

“Oh shut it, Andrews,” the rookie soldier said as Andrews simply laughed, his laugh echoing out on the training grounds. Andrews was a much older and experienced soldier, the guy next to him, Kyle, was also experienced. But they were both loyal.

Leon stopped for a moment, lifting the water pouch to his lips and taking a long drink. The water cooled his body, but it didn’t do anything to cool his anger.

His eyes flickered up to the castle, seeing your figure sitting at the window. He gritted his teeth, his gaze turning cold. You were the reason he was so angry in the first place.

He handed the water pouch back to the soldiers before turning and walking towards the castle, striding with purpose.

It was time to confront you.

Leon walked angrily through the halls of the castle, his boots thudding loudly against the marble floor. The servants who walked past him quickly scurried out of his way, intimidated by his intense glare. He didn't bother making eye contact with them as he walked.

He made his way towards the library, his mind set on confronting you. You couldn’t just go around making decisions on your own. He was the king, and he would show you your place. Without knocking, he pushed open the door to the library.

You looked up at the sound of the doors being slammed opened and saw Leon. You quickly put your pencil down and stood up, “My lord,” you said in a surprised tone as your eyes widened slightly.

You started fixing your dress as it reached the floor. The dress was a simple yellow dress that was tight from your waist and chest. It wasn’t a corset but the dress did hug your breasts nicely. The sleeves reached your elbows and the fabric was made of silk. Then you walked to stand in front of him with the table behind you. Your hands clasped together in front of you as you looked up at him.

Even in heels, he stood taller than you. But now wasn’t the time to think about that. He hated you and his words from last night still lingered in your mind. Of how he’d rather sleep with other women and have heirs with them than with you.

Leon stalked towards you, his eyes fixed on you with a mixture of anger and annoyance. He looked at your dress, taking in your form, his gaze lingering a beat too long on your chest before he met your eyes again. He could feel himself getting more annoyed just from looking at you. He wanted to yell at you, to reprimand you, to make you understand your place as his wife.

“We need to talk,” he said, his voice tense and low.

You nodded slowly, “Alright,” you muttered, “what do you want to talk about?”

Leon clenched his fists at his sides, trying to control his anger, "You had no right to invite that gardener to the castle without my permission. Who do you think you are, making decisions like that without consulting me?"

“I didn’t mean to offend you like that,” you tried to defend yourself, your tone quiet and timid, “I thought I could make my own choices since the gardens fall under my duties as lady of the house.”

He took a step closer, his voice low and menacing, "You need to learn your place, princess. You're my wife, nothing more. You don't make decisions here, I do."

You looked up at him as he stepped closer. His reminder once again being cruel. You were nothing else than just a pawn to him. Something to help get closer to the crown so he’d be king.

He paused for a moment, his eyes scanning over your form again, before he continued, "And another thing...”

“What other thing, my lord,” you muttered and furrowed your brows confused. But, something in you took control and you were getting angry as well, “Did you find a whore last night?” You suddenly asked.

Leon stiffened, his eyes narrowing at your words. He hadn't expected you to bring up the topic of his nighttime activities.

"Yes, I did," he lied, his voice hard, "Why do you ask?"

There was a bitter undertone to his words. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he hadn't been able to go through with his plans to find a woman at the tavern. Every woman he saw paled in comparison to you, and the thought of bedding someone else left a sour taste in his mouth.

“Because whatever you do also affects me,” you muttered and looked up at him with a firm expression.

“Your actions have consequences and I do not want you to squander my reputation. I am a noble lady, not the wife of a man who won’t stop sharing himself to the whores of the night,” you said through gritted teeth. You hated his words. You hated *him.*

Leon's expression darkened at your words, his jaw clenching at being reprimanded by you.

"You have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do," he snapped, "I'll do as I please, and who I please. And it is none of your concern."

He took another step closer, his height towering over you, "You're my wife, that's all. You don't have the right to make decisions, and you certainly don't have the right to shame me for pursuing other...pleasures."

“Don’t you realize what might happen if your father knows that you’ve been having sex with random women and that you bring home an illegitimate son into your family?” You said as you looked up at him with furrowed brows, how could he be so selfish?

“I will not shame you and I am not telling you what to do. Just do things with the consequences in mind,” you muttered as your gaze slowly fell down.

Leon rolled his eyes at your words, his irritation only growing.

"I'm not stupid," he snapped, "I know what the consequences could be to my actions, but I also know that I am a grown man who can make his own decisions. And what would you know about consequences? You've never had to make a hard decision in your life."

He took another step closer, his chest almost touching yours as he leaned in, his voice low, "I'd watch your tone if I were you. Remember your place."

You watched as he took a step closer, his chest so close to yours but you didn’t focus on that. You held my ground, looking up at him.

“Why?” You muttered, “What are you going to do if I don’t watch my tone? I’m only trying to look out after you. After us.”

He may hate you, and he may have a reason why. But you didn’t want his actions to drag you down as well.

"I appreciate your concern," he said, his voice sarcastic, "But I don't need you to look out for me. I can handle myself."

He took a step closer, so close that you could feel his breath on your skin, "And if you don't start watching your tone, you might find yourself with a sore arse."

You furrowed your brow and stared in disbelief and fear. Was he seriously going to put his hands on you?

“A sore arse? Do you hear yourself?” You mumbled. He was getting too close. For a moment you were confused because he’d never touch you and yet here he was. Telling you he was going to spank you.

“You dare lay your hands on me?” You muttered, “What would the people think if they found out that you…that you…”

You inhaled and looked at him, “Your people will be displeased if they hear that you lay your hands on your wife,” you muttered.

Leon's expression darkened as you challenged him, his jaw clenching. He didn't like being threatened by you, not one bit.

"And who do you think the people would believe?" he asked, his voice low and dangerous, "Me, the future king, or you, the useless princess who serves no purpose other than to warm my bed at night."

You narrowed your eyes at him, to hear that words come from his mouth was hurting. Especially since he’s been treating you as if you were nothing.

“I won’t bother you,” you whispered, it seemed that no matter what you say he’d still find something to be angry at you about. It was pointless talking to him.

Leon's expression softened slightly as he saw the pain in your eyes, but he quickly steeled himself, refusing to show any signs of compassion.

"Good," he said coldly, "Because you're already a nuisance as it is."

He took a step back, putting some distance between you and him, his arms crossing over his chest.

"Just stay out of my way," he said, his voice still cold, "And try not to make my life even more difficult than it already is."

You nodded and curtsied before you took my books from the table and left the library. You didn’t want him to see you cry, not after last night and not after this morning. It seemed as if he only ever made you cry.

You walked the halls of the castle with your books in your arms, your heels echoing in the air as you maneuvered to your shared quarters. Tears blurred your vision.

Once you entered our room, you closed the door behind you and put your books on your vanity desk before you plopped down on your bed. The bed that only you slept in. You stuffed your face in one of the pillows and just let it all out.

Curse this kingdom. Curse the war. Curse your father for giving you to Leon, a heartless man. You hated everything.

Leon watched you as you walked away, a pang of guilt in his chest at the sight of your tears as the library door closed behind you. He knew that he was being harsh with you, but he had to be. He couldn't let himself get close to you, no matter how much the part of him that wanted to comfort you grew.

He clenched his jaw and pushed down the guilt, reminding himself of the pain that you represented. The pain of the war, the pain of their families' deaths.

He turned and walked away, heading back towards the training fields.

As he entered the training grounds, Andrews noticed Leon’s conflicted expression, “Now that’s a face I haven’t seen since the war,” he pointed out as he blocked one of Leon’s attacks with his sword.

Leon grunted as Andrews blocked his attack, his expression hardening once again as he lunged forward with a flurry of attacks.

"Shut up," he said through gritted teeth, "I'm just a bit distracted, that's all."

He slashed at Andrews with his sword, the blade narrowly missing the other man's shoulder. Leon's moves were a bit more sloppy than usual, his mind still occupied with thoughts of you. Andrews, being one of Leon’s most loyal friends, knew something else was wrong with Leon. But he wasn’t going to spell it out for him.

“If you say so,” he muttered before he blocked another one of Leon’s attacks, followed by a strike against Leon’s side. Andrews was very good at fighting, being older and the captain of the castle’s defense allowed him to be the best.

Leon hissed as Andrews' sword hit his side, the impact knocking the air out of him. He stumbled back, his hand going to his side as he regained his breath, annoyance replacing the guilt he had been feeling.

"You bastard," he muttered, his eyes narrowing as he looked at Andrews. He lunged forward once again, this time going on the offensive as he swung his sword towards Andrews' chest.

Andrews raised a brow and moved to the side before he swiped his leg under Leon’s feet, watching as he fell down on the floor.

Then, Andrews knelt down and offered him a hand to stand up, “You fight with too much emotion. What’s going on?” He spoke firmly. He pulled Leon up on his feet, walking back towards the side bench and tossed Leon a water pouch.

Leon grumbled as he caught the water pouch and taking a deep draught from it. He sat down on the bench next to Andrews, his hands resting on his knees as he looked at the ground.

"It's... complicated," he said finally, his voice low.

He paused, not wanting to admit what he was feeling, but he knew Andrews wouldn't give up that easily. He was a stubborn bastard.

After taking a swig from his own water pouch, Andrews rested his forearms on his knees, leaning forward as he glanced at Leon.

“Complicated?” he muttered as he straightened up and took another swig. He then put his pouch down on the bench and looked back at Leon.

“It’s only complicated if you give it too much thought,” Andrews said.

Leon let out a scoff, rolling his eyes.

"Easy for you to say," he muttered, "You're not the one who married someone you're supposed to hate."

He clenched his jaw, his hands gripping his knees tightly. The memory of your tear-streaked face came back to him, and he felt that damn pang of guilt again.

"You don't know what it's like," he said, his voice low and bitter.

Andrews hummed and nodded slowly, “Supposed to,” he repeated in a mutter before he turned his head to look at the other soldiers sparring.

“I don’t know what it’s like to be married to someone I hate,” Andrews spoke after a few seconds of silence, “but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t understand what it’s like to see it.”

“The lady…” he spoke slowly, “I’ve only ever met her once back when she first moved in,” Andrews chuckled at the memory, “Poor lady was lost roaming around the castle she ended up here and nearly got her head caught off.”

Leon couldn’t help but chuckle slightly at the memory as well. He himself hadn’t been there when you had wandered into the training grounds, but he had heard all about it from the knights.

“Yeah, she’s not exactly the most observant,” he muttered, his voice laced with a hint of affection, though he quickly bit down on his tongue to stop himself. He looked up at Andrews, his expression turning slightly bitter again.

"What are you getting at?" he asked, his voice guarded.

Andrews sighed and looked at Leon, “What I’m trying to say is,” he muttered softly, “the princess came from far away, ripped from her home and she obviously doesn’t know things about this place.”

“You can’t expect her to know everything. She’s…alone,” he muttered and looked back at the knights sparring, “Put yourself in her shoes. You’re being wedded to someone from the enemy kingdom and you’re being sent to foreign terrain where you know absolutely nothing about. And turns out your partner hates you and you don’t even know why, see what I’m trying to say?”

“She didn’t start the war but she helped you finish it. That’s a sacrifice not many are willing to make,” Andrews said before he took a swig of his water pouch.

Leon's jaw clenched as he listened to Andrews.

He knew what he was saying was true, but it was easier said than done. His resentment towards you ran deep, and even though he knew you weren't responsible for the war, he couldn't help but feel resentment towards you by association.

"I know," he mumbled, his voice low, "But it's not that simple. It's not just about the war. It's about everything."

He paused, his grip on his knees tightening, "It's about our families. The people we lost. It's all...complicated."

“And no one says it’ll ever be easy,” Andrews continued, “but you haven’t given her a chance to adapt. She doesn’t have anyone. She’s alone in a place where she’s hated, it’s a surprise she’s made it this long without begging her father to go back home.”

Andrews sighed and looked at Leon, “No one is telling you to forgive and forget. The war was scarring and many lives were lost. But to blame it all on the lady who doesn’t know a thing about swords seems very wrong to me.”

He then put his hand on Leon’s shoulder in a friendly manner, “At the end of the day, she isn’t your enemy. She never will be and she can’t. She’s here.”

Leon let out a heavy sigh, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He knew, deep down, that Andrews was right. You hadn't started the war, and you had no control over the actions of the king. But the feelings of anger and resentment towards you were still there, rooted deep within him. He couldn't just turn them off, no matter how much he wanted to.

He looked over at Andrews, his expression conflicted, "What do you want me to do?" he asked, his voice low.

Andrews hummed, it wasn’t easy to just get rid of your anger overnight. It wasn’t possible but it also didn’t mean that you’d never get rid of it.

“Do what’s right. Start by seeing her for who she is and not just a person from her kingdom. She’s her own person just like how you are more than just the crown prince,” Andrews said, he was always a good friend. Wise and always knew what to say to Leon.

“It won’t be easy,” Andrews said before he stood up and stretched, “it takes time but it’ll be worth it.”

Leon clenched his jaw, his eyes staring down at the ground as Andrews spoke. He knew his friend was right, but it was easier said than done.

"I'll try," he mumbled finally, his voice strained.

He stood up, his shoulders feeling heavy with the weight of his thoughts. He knew he needed to push down those negative feelings and start seeing you for who you were.

As Andrews stretched, Leon looked at him, "Thanks, Andrews," he muttered, "For always being a pain in my ass."

Andrews chuckled and gently bumped Leon’s shoulder, “The price to pay when you’re friends with me, eh?”

For the rest of the evening, training went well. The sun had started to set, and you were walking around the halls of the castle by yourself, admiring the paintings on the walls.

It wouldn’t be easy, like Andrews said, but it was better to start seeing you in your own light instead of just generalizing you. You didn’t know a thing about swords and fighting, much less about war.

[the-crustation-sensation]

How i think arcane s2 fumbled Viktor. Coming from a disabled person

Not proofread we die like all my favorite characters

As previously mentioned, I struggle with chronic pain. I have POTs and probably EDS now that I think about it, and I use a cane on bad days since at times walking long distances is very painful

I started watching arcane shortly after discovering my own disability and I was SO happy to see a well represented disabled character, guess who my favorite character is (hard mode)

Anytime there’s someone with a physical disability represented in modern media, they’re never allowed to just… be disabled, casually. Yes disability massively affects and changes one’s live immensely, but it’s not the only all-encompassing trait of their personality. A lot of the time when I see a disabled character, they’re just there to be disabled. They don’t get a character arc outside of their disability… or much of a personality either (9 times out of 10 their usually always paralyzed in a wheelchair too, but that’s a different conversation)

And sometimes having a characters arc revolve around a disability is acceptable, but it’s not ok to have a token disabled character and do nothing else with their plot line. Disability is allowed to be a part of their story, but it doesn’t have to be the whole story. Make your disabled characters people with a disability, not a blank slate token character.

And that’s why I was so pleased with Viktor in season one. He exists With his disability, not despite it. It was very refreshing to a character have a very defined personality and purpose outside being a token disabled character. Yes of course his disability is a huge part of his story, but it’s not the entire story.

Now how did s2 fumble?

In s1 I think viktors descent into illness was well written, I was kind of expecting his disability to be a big part of his overall character arc in the first place (as it so often is) but in s2 I feels like the writers almost forgot that Viktor was dying of cancer … not trying to perfect himself

I was so excited to see what s2 did with his character arc, and I just ended up.. disappointed. On surface level i loved Jesus!viktor just as much as the next fan, but when you dig deeper into his story it felt so icky

Whenever a disabled person is represented, not only does their character arc revolve around disability, it has to revolve around “fixing” said disability. And a big pattern I see is many character arcs having an undertone of radical acceptance. I.e “you where never broken, you just needed to accept yourself” “you just need to love your disability as a part of you”

No… you don’t have to love the part of you that’s actively causing you pain and lowering your quality of life, or actively killing you like Viktors terminal illness.

Self acceptance with disability is all fine and dandy, but it is SO overplayed and overwritten. You’re allowed to be frustrated with your disability, and learn to move past it.

The big point is Viktor was never trying to “perfect” himself in s1, he was trying to live.

In s2 they took the idea of Viktor working to cure his terminal illness and ran with it. They blew his arc so wildly out of proportion until he literally became a god obsessed with “perfecting” all of humanity.

And that just felt.. icky. It didn’t feel like Viktor. The Viktor in s1 had a dream of helping his people, of using his creations to uplift everyone! He never would have wanted to force all of humanity into “evolving” without their consent. And do not even get me STARTED on how he completely lost his autonomy to the hexcore, and in turn took it from so many people. That deserves a post on its own

I was so excited for the arcane writers to do something creative with his character arc, but no. Once again a disabled character fell victim to their entire arc being about fixing their disability, only to end with radical self love and acceptance

And the thing is I could get behind an arc of Viktor healing! He deserves to heal and live his life happy and healthy, but to me and him all of a sudden obsessed with “perfection” felt completely out of left field

I think my biggest problem with season 2 overall is that it lost sight of the entire theme of the show. Season one was a beautiful statement about classism, segregation, and how differently it affects people. It was representing real world problems on a scale we could understand. And the best part about s1 was that everyone on the main cast was relatively morally grey, they were humans who had realistic flaws, and made mistakes.

Nobody was shoved into a traditional “good guy/bad guy” box, and that made the show feel so much more real.

S2 was rushed, and for some reason the writers said “actually never mind, we’re going to bend everyone’s morals out of proportion so we can have a big bad villian we all fight at the end”

It had an overwhelming undertone of “forgive your oppressors so we can come together against a common enemy” which felt like a massive slap in the face to everyone who’s actually experience the classism and poverty that arcane represented in s1

I think so many of the problems with s2 could have been fixed or at least explained in detail if we got a s3. I understand as a writer myself that would have been a long, and expensive process that the arcane producers weren’t willing to go through. But I can’t help but mourn the story we could have had if the writers were just allowed to spend more time on it.

Overall, I could write an essay picking apart every tiny detail of arcane in general, so I’ll stop here. I just needed to get this rant out in writing and out of my head, I’m so insanely disappointed and mildly insulted with how the arcane writers treated Viktor, who had such potential

Feel free to share your opinions or completely disagree with me in the comments, please be kind as this is just my humble analysis and opinion.

[drdemonprince]

Hi Dr. Price,

I’m a huge fan of your work and I’ve found it immensely helpful in figuring out who I am.

In recent years I’ve discovered I am both AuDHD and Bi. My partner is also Bi and very supportive. However we have been together for over a decade and I’m struggling a lot lately with the fact that I’ve never actually been with anyone else. I’ve been spending a lot of time in queer spaces online and finding myself wishing I could at least experience some of what they do.

I love her more than anything and would never do anything to hurt her. She’s not interested in opening things up in any way, which I completely respect and to be fair I’m not even sure that’s truly something I would want either.

I guess I’m just asking if you have any advice on these overwhelming feelings of missing out on aspects of life I never knew I even missed? Other than using porn to get it out of my mind as I’m worried that’s affecting our relationship sexually, which is another issue. Should I find a dating sim game or something to push all of these thoughts on to? It’s kind of messed up but I feel like if I was allowed to flirt online and not actually act on it that might satisfy me? I don’t know.

If nothing else thank you so much for your work and giving me a space to get this off my chest. ❤️

Because I am of the mind that most longings for queer expression/recognition/community cannot and should not be met with media consumption, I'm not going to tell you that there is any kind of game that can simulate queer erotic contact in a way that will be remotely satisfying for you.

You and your partner's desires for your relationship and its boundaries are important and matter, but alongside that, I would also encourage you to listen to that urge that tells you that you'd love to flirt online with a sexy queer stranger as a way to let a little of the steam off.

The wants you are feeling are real, and when disregarded or left unattended they can spiral out in all kinds of unpleasant ways, from just regular garden variety frustration, to resentment, to conducting years long emotional affairs with agoraphobic instagram thot boys you met online (not that I know anything about that).

You want to be recognized by another queer person as a sexually desirable, available person, you want to feel the rush of a developing romance, you want the future to be filled with possibility and excitement, you want to know that your life is not over and that there's still more to learn about yourself and more experiences to enjoy -- these are all good things. These are important things, and I promise you that it is very unlikely that you won't get to experience more desire, attraction, sexual contact, romance, and heartbreak in the years to come.

Most relationships end. Those that last more than a couple of years undergo dramatic shifts over the course of their tenure. And so, it is very likely that you and your partner will either eventually split, or your various desires and capacities will become incompatible in certain ways, and you will contemplate some kind of change to the relationship dynamic (or someone will fail to communicate this and cheat. hopefully not that one. But if it does happen, well. It's very common and not the end of the world or even necessarily the end of the bond).

How does it feel to confront this information? That in all likelihood, this relationship will either end, open up in some way, change dramatically in its dynamic, or be marked by one or both parties stepping out in some way, however small, be it an online flirtation or a kiss at a party or a sexual affair? I think your feelings in response to that information is important too. And that regardless of what you and your partner decide for the time being, it is an important series of potentialities to reflect on and emotionally prepare oneself for. Also worth asking: are these potential futures ones that you can speak to your partner about? One of them will likely be headed for you in time, not through any fault of your own or due to lack of love, but simply because people change and relationships develop, just like a person develops. Whether or not these are subjects that can be broached is itself valuable information, too.

Now personally, I am very biased, but I think there is very little harm in having some virtual sex with a consenting stranger, roleplaying sexy interactions online, even getting on a dating or cruising app and posting a few anonymized photos and seeing what kind of attention you get and enjoying the rush. I think that kind of thing is all within the realm of the harmless and forgivable, but hey, my sister just ended an engagement over her fiance doing that kind of thing, so not everyone agrees with me clearly.

But I think it is worth at least contemplating the full, long continuum of infidelity that exists, from having a whole secret other marriage and family and keeping a partner in the dark about it on one end, say, and making bedroom eyes with a cute person at the bar and fantasizing about what if what if what if, on the other. If your partner did anything along that whole continuum, you might be hurt, and likewise they might be if you do.

You say you love your partner more than anything and would never do anything to hurt her. But you can't really promise yourself that. Every partner hurts one another in some way or another, sometimes even intentionally, over the course of a long relationship. But hurting one another in a relationship is, also, not the end of the world. We all make mistakes, say things we regret, lose control of our faculties at times, or are simply forced to reconcile that what we need conflicts with what another person does. And sometimes we put our needs first, even though it's uncomfortable.

I don't regret the times I cheated. I regret the lack of communication and cowardice that brought me to that half-formed, unarticulated decision. But I don't regret ever having chosen to listen to needs that had been powerfully screaming inside of me, typically for years before I attended to them.

I think you and your partner should continue having very frank conversations about these topics, and do your best to regulate your own anxieties and feelings of relationship threat when the other party brings up an activity or an idea that makes the other feel scared. The choice isn't to remain monogamous or to become fully polyamorous with no hierarchy. There are a lot of activities you can both decide are either okay or not okay, and conditions under which you will engage in them.

Even what counts as "monogamy" is subject to fierce debate, that's part of why so many jealous straight people destroy one another so easily. Is texting someone you think is cute in a flirtatious but ultimately just friendly way cheating? Is dancing with someone else cheating? What kind of dancing is okay and is not? Is cuddling on the couch? Working on erotica together? Kissing? Is watching porn with someone else cheating? Is masturbating to a video they sent you?

You might have a very visceral response to these questions, but those are just like, your opinions. They are not set in stone and you can easily find another monogamous person who is just as adamant about completely opposing rules and definitions of what monogamy means to them. And so, it's worth talking with your partner and really being honest with yourself about what it is you want to do, what is decidedly off the table, and what the hell it even is that you two are talking about when you discuss your relationship and its limits.

If it were me, and if I could wave a wand and make you and your partner feel okay about and agree to a set of relationship limits, I think you should consider flirting with actual queer people online. But I can't control other people's behavior or emotions, as much as I have tried. But you can at least contemplate (and then discuss) alternate ways of getting the kind of attention that you desire.

There are lots of things you can do to scratch your itch that are not having sex or dating someone else: LARPing (there is larping that has a sexual or romantic component!). Tabletop games. Acting or improv that incorporates romantic or sexual elements. Going to a sex party and just WATCHING people do stuff. Going to a gay bar and just hanging out and socializing. Going to a cruising bar and watching people fuck. Going to a dungeon for a class or a demo. Going on gay speed dating but secretly agreeing that you're not actually going to take anybody home, you're just gonna see how it feels. Wearing a slutty outfit to pride and waving and winking at people. Exchanging heartfelt letters with a queer friend who you have chemistry with but who respects your relationship.

These are just some ideas, but the possibilities are limitless. One day, you and your partner might agree that you are open to having sex with other people, or flirting, but not to them having other lasting relationships. maybe you'll have threesomes together or one partner will watch the other fuck casual hook-ups. Or maybe you'll just break up. Who knows what the future holds! No matter what it is, you can figure it out with both love and commitment to your partner, but also the courage to name what you are feeling and to honor your desires. None of those things have to be incompatible, and monogamy doesn't have to be incompatible with getting a little thrill here and there either.

Good luck!

[kikyoupdates]

Changing Plotlines ⭑˚💞⭑ 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑑𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟

yandere!ocs x f!reader

yandere, reverse harem, yandere reverse harem, original characters x fem!reader, slowburn, isekai

A desperate cry on your deathbed leads to you being given a fresh start at life. You're overjoyed at having finally obtained a healthy body and a real chance at living normally, only to discover that you've been transported into a yandere game, where danger lurks at every corner. Determined to protect your new life at any cost, you vow to stay as far away from the major characters of the game as possible. But things don't always go as planned.

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“Honestly, I thought you would’ve given up by now,” Sergei sighed.

“What? Of course not,” you frowned. “I’ll have you know I’m very serious about this. Look, I’ve even been practicing!”

You proceeded to swing your wooden sword with visible enthusiasm, making cutting motions left, right, and center.

Needless to say, he wasn’t impressed.

Today marked the second day of your lessons with the kind-hearted knight who ended up meeting a gruesome fate. Naturally, you had no intention of getting ahead of yourself. It wasn’t as if you expected to become some sort of prodigy overnight. But every effort counted, and the more you practiced, the better equipped you were to defend yourself if something went awry. After stupidly letting your guard down and helping out Flora, you needed to keep up with your training, now more than ever.

“So?” you huffed, wiping the sweat off your forehead. “What do you think?”

Sergei’s brows were creased. He looked like he was searching for the right words to say.

“I think that you have absolutely no talent with a sword.”

Okay, well he clearly hadn’t found the right words, because ouch.

“You’re so mean,” you whined. “This is only our second lesson! Don’t you think it’s too early to jump to conclusions? Of course I’m not going to be great right off the bat. I’m only a beginner. Were you immensely talented from the get-go?”

“Yes,” Sergei said calmly. “My talent is the whole reason I decided to become a knight.”

“Ugh. Okay, that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to say is that someone can suck at something at the beginning, but that doesn’t mean they can’t improve one day.”

“I agree with that,” Sergei acknowledged. “I’m not saying that you can’t learn, but from what I’ve seen, it’s already quite clear that this isn’t the sort of activity that will come naturally to you. Everyone has different types of skills. Why not take up a hobby that you might be better suited towards? It could save you a lot of frustration, and sword-fighting really isn’t the sort of thing a lady like you will ever have any use for...”

But I can’t learn something else. It’s not like I’m doing this for fun. I need to make sure I’ll have some way of protecting myself.

Obviously, you couldn’t tell him that for you, learning to use a sword was absolutely essential. So, you did what you did best. You lied.

“As I’ve told you before, I am a very prudent woman,” you said.

Sergei snorted. Okay, rude.

“Lately, I keep having nightmares of criminals attacking me in the middle of the night, and I can’t do anything but quiver helplessly. I refuse to be helpless,” you frowned. “I never want to end up in the sort of situation where I just cower in fear and hope for the best. I want to take charge of my life and fight until the very end.”

“This seems to be an ongoing concern of yours,” he remarked, looking a touch concerned. “Being cautious is all well and good, but there is such a thing as worrying too much. If you’re really so afraid, why don’t you just make sure to take a personal guard when you go out in public?”

“Yes, I can do that.”

“So, then...”

“But if they fail to protect me, then I’m right back to square one.”

Sergei shook his head in disbelief. “Alright, alright. If training with a sword will really help to put your worries to rest, then I suppose it’s the least I can do for you. But you really should know that the odds of you getting hurt, especially if you aren’t on your own, are remarkably slim. Infinitesimal, even.”

Ha. You’d be surprised.

“Yes, I know,” you said, mustering a smile. “But this really does make me feel better about the whole thing. I feel powerful, even though I realize I’m far from it yet. And now I have the added challenge of becoming so good that you’ll be forced to eat your words. Hehe.”

“At the very least, your enthusiasm is certainly admirable,” Sergei chuckled.

Right. That was all you had, really. Enthusiasm. And fear. Fear for your life. With such emotions driving you forward, you were certain that you could somehow compensate for your lack of athletic abilities.

As proof of your readiness to train your butt off, you swung your sword several times in quick succession, building up a noticeable burn in your arms. Sergei wasn’t saying anything, just watching you in silence. It didn’t matter if you sucked. Hell, you knew you sucked, but that still wasn’t going to change the fact that you were going to do this, no matter what.

“Lady [Name], please stop,” he eventually said.

You looked back at him in confusion. “Yes? Am I doing something wrong?”

“You’re doing many things wrong, but that’s not what I was getting at. How would you like to try using a real sword today, just to get a feel for it?”

You could hardly contain the grin that burst across your lips. “Really?!”

“It would be good to try,” he nodded. “If the point is to protect yourself, a wooden sword won’t do much to achieve that. It was just to get you a bit familiar with the length and girth of the weapon you’ll be holding. Keep in mind that the real thing will be quite a good deal heavier, though. It will be difficult to adjust to at first.”

“That’s totally fine!” you babbled, eager to finally try out the real thing. You’d never held a sword before. It was difficult to even find swords back in your previous world. All of this was to learn how to protect yourself, but it was still so exciting!

Sergei bit back a smile. “It’s not that amazing. But I have to admit that it’s quite amusing to watch you react so expressively.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re amused. C’mon, gimme!”

“You certainly don’t speak like a noblewoman, though... anyways, here you are. Be careful. Don’t move too suddenly with it.”

He gently placed the hilt of the sword in your hands, with the blade pointed downwards. You couldn’t feel the full weight of it yet, not while Sergei was still gripping it as well.

But then he let go. And the sword fell to the ground.

“Ouchie!” you squealed, frantically shaking your wrist. “My hand nearly broke!”

Sergei clamped a palm over his mouth. “Pfft... n-no, you’re just exaggerating. I did warn you, my lady. Perhaps you were just surprised. Care to try again?”

You grimaced, cheeks glowing bright red. Okay, maybe you were exaggerating just a bit, but that thing was heavy as all hell! In the interest of staying as safe as possible, you knew wielding a sword was practically crucial, but you were slowly realizing that it was an even bigger obstacle than you’d once presumed.

“I can do it,” you huffed, crouching down to pick the sword back up. “It’s okay. I have muscles. Weak, underused ones... but they’re still muscles!”

Sergei was trying not to laugh at you—and failing horribly, at that.

But by some miracle, you managed to pick the sword up. Granted, you had to hold onto it with both hands, and the strain it was placing on your wrists was enough to make your arms shake, but you were actually holding a sword. God, you felt like such a badass!

“I-I’m amazing,” you said, grimacing in between breaths. “Showstopping, incredible, phenomenal. S-Super epic... ugh, I just can’t anymore!”

You dropped the sword once again, sighing in relief. Okay, so it was a work in progress. Strengthening your wrists would likely be crucial. Maybe you could practice by repeatedly opening jars.

“Good effort,” Sergei mused, flashing you a thumbs-up. “It was—pfft! —very entertaining."

“Well, I’m glad one of us enjoyed it,” you eye-rolled.

“Weren’t you going on earlier about how you’d make me eat my words? Surely the weight of the sword isn’t enough to make you quit?”

“I have no intention of quitting,” you reassured. “That being said... is it all possible to make my own sword? One that’s a bit lighter? I’m not as tall or strong as you. I can have one personally customized to better suit me, right?”

Sergei nodded. “Yes, you can have one made by a blacksmith. If you provide him with the rough dimensions of the sword, and what sort of materials you’d like to have used, I’m sure he can craft one that’s more comfortable for you to use. It still won’t be too light, not if you want it to be sturdy enough to deal damage, but you can figure out the details and strike a good balance between what you’d like to achieve.”

“Is there a particular blacksmith you recommend?”

“As a matter of fact, there is. Remind me to write down his name and some other details for you later.”

“Alright. In that case...” You picked up the wooden sword instead of the real one, smiling sheepishly. “Um. Until I have my personal sword made, I’d like to stick with this one, if that’s okay...”

Sergei was clearly holding back the urge to laugh again. “Whatever you say, Lady [Name].”

“Back to training I go,” you hummed. “Watch this! Consecutive wooden sword slashes, but at a dizzying speed. Hyah!”

“Again with the battle cries...”

Even if you were still a noob in the purest sense of the word, over time, your body was bound to adapt. You were intent on getting by through muscle memory alone. Besides, as far as you knew, only two of the yanderes were proficient sword-fighters themselves—namely, Triston and Friedrich. So long as you were armed, and they weren’t, you would probably stand a chance.

Point being, it was best not to skimp on your training. Even if you probably looked like a fool flailing around all over the place.

Still, it was certainly tiring swinging a heavy wooden sword continuously. With every motion, you could feel your arms progressively turning to jelly. Coupled with the fact that it was so hot out, you were really starting to break a sweat.

“Time out,” you groaned, throwing your sword down. You tried to fan yourself off with your hand, but it wasn’t doing much good. This goddamn tunic was making you burn up. It needed to go.

So, you proceeded to get rid of it, stripping your outermost layer and exposing the thin camisole you had underneath. The relief was almost immediate. Granted, it was still hot as hell, but your skin could finally breathe now.

“L-Lady [Name]!” came the horrified splutter. You turned to find Sergei gaping at you in disbelief, several shades redder than he’d been a few seconds ago.

“Yes?” you frowned.

“You can’t just get undressed like that all of a sudden! Please remember that you are in public!”

He looked away in a hurry, and you had to admit, it was kind of cute. In the game, Sergei made every effort to act the part of a knight. He was sometimes guilty of being too serious, although he eventually came to let his guard down around Flora, after falling for her gentleness. From what you recalled, he’d never been much of a joker, yet in the few interactions he’d had with you, you’d already gotten to see him laugh it up plenty of times at your expense. And now he was even blushing. It was refreshing to see such different sides to a character you liked.

But honestly, you didn’t really get what the big deal was. The camisole was pretty thin, sure, but it wasn’t all that revealing. A tiny bit of cleavage and bare shoulders, but that was about it. Back in your world, people showed plenty of skin, so you definitely weren’t used to such an innocent reaction. Your case especially was rather unique. Countless doctors and nurses had seen you butt naked before, so something like this hardly fazed you.

Watching Sergei get increasingly flustered was rather amusing, though.

“You can drop the title, you know,” you chuckled, still fanning yourself off. “Just [Name] is fine.”

“No, I really mustn’t,” he insisted. His face was buried in his palms, and it almost seemed like he was itching to move them out of the way and steal another peek, but his willpower remained undaunted. “This is already quite improper... and you allow me to speak to you so casually in the first place. Now, please, will you get dressed?”

“Aw. But it’s way too hot out. I’d rather keep practicing like this.”

“Lady [Name], what you have on leaves almost nothing to the imagination. Please, for my sake, I’ll ask that you cover up again.”

“Prude,” you muttered under your breath. Alright, alright. You could sort of understand that this was set in a different time period, with different standards and all that, but you were really struggling to feel modest given your previous lived experiences. Guess that was yet another thing you’d have to get used to here.

With a great deal of reluctance, you put your tunic back on, cursing the fact that they didn’t even have air conditioning in this world.

“You can look now,” you announced. “Rest assured that my breasts are back in their rightful place.”

Sergei gritted his teeth, still red as a tomato. “In the name of all that is holy, I am literally begging you to stop.”

“Hehe.”

“Don't hehe me!”

It was safe to say that Sergei was too embarrassed to look you in the eye for the rest of your training session.

Cedric Lightsteel, huh?

You stared down at the piece of paper in your hand. It was the name of the blacksmith Sergei had personally recommended to you. Sergei spoke very highly of him, so you didn’t doubt that he’d be able to craft you the perfect sword. Once you’d obtained a weapon tailored to suit your needs, you were confident that your skills would improve astronomically.

Anyways, things were looking good. As expected, it felt good to plan everything out in the event that you got caught up in something dangerous. Based on the natural progression of the plot, you still had plenty of time until the yanderes began exhibiting their dangerous tendencies—not that you planned on ever seeing any of them again.

There had been a little hiccup with Flora, sure, but you’d ignored her letter. By now, you were confident that she would’ve gotten the message. Even if you did feel really shitty about it.

“Man, I’m pooped,” you yawned, stretching your arms out. Living in a healthy body really was incredible. You’d worked your butt off today, and you were definitely tired, but it still didn’t even come close to the fatigue you experienced every single day back in your old life. Even with minimal activity, you’d been in a perpetual state of exhaustion back then. You slept just about always, lied around doing very little when you were awake, and your body struggled to do even that much.

It almost made you want to cry. The fact that you actually got to live like this now. That was why you needed to hold onto it with all your strength.

You decided to unwind by taking a nice, hot bath. Modern day luxuries were certainly missing in this world, but that just meant that you had more time to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. You could even feel some of your vigor returning to you as you soaked in the delightful bubbly water. You’d trained for hours, but with this body, it felt like you’d be good to do the whole thing all over again after just a little bit of rest.

Sighing happily, you eventually decided that you were squeaky clean and stepped out of the tub, wrapping a towel around your body.

Then, you walked back into your bedroom.

Only to find a strange man sitting on the bed.

“Ah,” he smiled upon locking eyes with you. “Did you have a nice bath? I was waiting for you to finish. Come, let’s have a chat."

Unsurprisingly, you screamed.

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[starsfic]

The Deer Prince

Summary:

Prince Qi Xiaotian finds a beautiful scarlet deer on Flower Fruit Mountain while Prince Red of the Demon Bull Clan goes missing.

Once upon a time, there were two kingdoms.

One was the Demon Bull Kingdom, ruled by the Demon Bull King and his beautiful wife, Princess Iron Fan. DBK had inherited a small kingdom and turned it into a vast empire, sending more and more soldiers out to take more and more land and even more wealth. Often, he himself led the charge, swinging his mighty battle axe to cut his enemies down. She, with her own fierce strength and power over the wind, was left to defend their capital as well as their most prized possession- their son, Red Boy. They wished to rule over the world, as well as give their son everything he ever wanted.

The other was Mount Huaguo, also known as Flower Fruit Mountain, ruled by the legendary Monkey King Sun Wukong. Sun Wukong had started as nothing more than a simple monkey, born from stone. However, through learning and cultivating his magic, as well as some stealing, Sun Wukong had become immortal, powerful beyond anyone’s wildest expectations, and his desire for more was frightening. His fear of death was more frightening. Slowly, though, thanks to a pilgrimage he had to take with a band of loyal friends, his desire for more power faded. It came to an end when he discovered that, in his absence, the mountain had produced another little monkey. Sun Wukong took the little one in as his child, dubbing them Qi Xiaotian, and his worries about death faded.

In the beginning, Sun Wukong and the Demon Bull King were good friends, sworn brothers in arms, and even lovers for a short while. However, a distance grew between them. It did not help that, in all his conquests, the empire that DBK had built was starting to fall apart.

Years of war had left his army exhausted and his treasury running close to empty. Slowly, battles began to be lost, and DBK found himself pushed back more and more, pressure growing when the edges of his empire took advantage of the distance revolted. Princess Iron Fan found herself having to deal with riots as taxes on the people increased. In all of this, Red Boy grew into a young man proud of his heritage but frustrated by his parents’ refusal to let him help. His only method of aid was building robotic soldiers and servants for his parents, a staff, and an army that would never tire.

Eventually, DBK swallowed his pride. He took Red Son with him to Flower Fruit Mountain to ask Sun Wukong for help. Over the years, Qi Xiaotian had grown, turning into a lovely and powerful young man. Surely, DBK reasoned, a marriage between the two would be beneficial to their kingdoms, with the wealth of the mountain and Red Son’s knowledge. Sun Wukong had tried to reach out to repair their brotherhood, after all.

Much to their shock- DBK, Red Son, and even Qi Xiaotian watching the meeting in secret- Sun Wukong refused. Qi Xiaotian was the most precious thing to him, after all, and he did not want his son to live on the edge of poverty, much less in civil war. Stunned and angry, Red Son decided to find another way to fix his family’s fortune…

“So he said no, just like that?”

“Just like that! And I can get why, but it’s…” Qi Xiaotian sighed, staring up at the blue sky. “I don’t know.”

A head rested next to his. “What did you think of the prince?” Long Xiaojiao asked. She had been Qi Xiaotian’s best friend since they came out of the egg. She knew him best.

“He was…really handsome,” Xiaotian admitted, face growing warm at the memory. Prince Red had hair like fire, scarlet embers glowing in the warm sunlight. Like his father, he was a bull, smaller and shorter but still visibly strong. Xiaotian, watching from the window, had been immensely drawn to the sight of him. His first thought had honestly been I wonder if he could pick me up. He was willing to bet the answer was yes, since he was smaller than him. “He had big biceps.”

“Ah, yes, biceps,” Xiaojiao said, nodding. “You and your fascination with them.” Xiaotian flicked his tail against her head. She didn’t understand it, but he didn’t get her fascination with long legs, so they were equal. “So, did he say anything?”

“I think he brought some of his inventions to show what he could provide, but he didn’t get very far down the list.” It was enough to show that he was smart, way smarter than Xiaotian could say for himself. “He did have a nice voice.” And very nice horns-

"Um, your Highness?"

His thoughts about the horns stopped. "Yes?" Xiaotian sat up at the sight of the nervous-looking servant, one wearing a massive shiner. "What happened?!"

"Well, there's a strange animal acting strange, and some of us tried to catch it to see if it was alright." Made sense, his father protected all of Flower Fruit Mountain, including the animals. Any signs of disease were quickly caught and treated. "But it's lashing out, and your father and the generals are in a meeting. It's in your private grotto, and we were hoping you could-"

"I'm already on my way," Xiaotian scrambled to his feet, reaching a hand back to help Xiaojiao. "Show us this animal."

The servant wasted no time in leading them out of the garden and down the path, splitting away from the main path down a small side path. As they rushed down it, Xiaotian could hear cries and yells.

"What kind of deer is this?!"

"Run for your life!"

"Duck!"

"AH!"

The servant shoved some bushes aside, revealing one of his private groves, and Xiaotian felt himself come to a stop at the scene.

First, there were several monkeys, all nursing cuts and bruises. One even had an arm twisted the wrong way. Not all of them wore servants' or guards' uniforms. Some wore simple clothes. Baskets of fruit had been scattered around in the chaos, peaches smashed beyond recognition.

And there was the deer.

It was unlike any buck Xiaotian had seen before. For one thing, its horns were strangely thick, to the point that it had to be hurting the poor thing despite its large size. Another thing was that its eyes were strangely intelligent, fiercely flashing as it kicked and bucked. And, the last thing, its fur was a deep scarlet red, not unlike the hair of the prince who had recently come to visit.

Xiaotian shook his head. He couldn't get distracted by thoughts of Prince Red, not now. Instead, he rushed forward, coming between the buck and a servant. "STAND DOWN!" he yelled to the guards, forcing them to lower their weapons.

The buck came to a stop.

Xiaotian blinked and slowly held up his hands, showing that he had no weapons. He and his father shared the staff that could move mountains, and it was currently with Sun Wukong in his meeting. "It's okay," he said to the deer, keepng his voice soft and pleasant. "It's okay. We don't want to hurt you. We just want to make sure you're okay." He raised a hand up, dropping his eyes to the scarlet coat.

Slowly, he felt the deer lean forward until the softness of its forehead pressed against his palm. Xiaotian allowed his other hand to move forward, gently running his hand over the coat, feeling a happy laugh escape him at the feeling. He had never been able to pet a deer, despite the lovely deer that frolicked on the mountain.

He pulled his hands away once he felt the deer relax. Xiaotian carefully raised his hands to his head and pulled off the scarlet ribbon that tied his hair back. "Xiaojiao," he called to his best friend. He hear the rasp of her jade sword settling back into its sheath. "Can you run to the stables and ask them to prepare a stable for my little friend here?"

"Uh, sure. Do you want me to get the vet too?"

"That'll be great!" Xiaotian was more focused on gently wrapping the ribbon around the buck's neck, making a leash out of his ribbon. He expected the deer to kick and bite, but it remained still, excluding a small, impatient stomp. Once it was done, he had a leashed deer who gently followed behind him.

He left his grove silent, his subjects gaping after him.

The stables had a small stall set up by the time Xiaotian arrived. The deer looked a little nervous as they stepped inside, and Xiaotian couldn't blame him. The stables were full of horses- at least three were stolen from Heaven when Sun Wukong served as the bimawen, while the other five were either gifts or horses that the Monkey King had wrangled himself. Second to the monkeys, these were Sun Wukong's favorite creatures, and he made sure they were well-kept. "Uh, here, my prince," the stable master said, leading Xiaotian to the stall at the end.

Sweet new hay had been set up, with a trough full of grass and a small thing of salt. Xiaotian settled into the hay and the deer followed, sweetly settling next to him and setting his head in his lap. "Wow!" Xiaojiao said from the doorway. "He's nothing like before. What did you do?"

“I don’t know,” Xiaotian admitted. He paused his pets, and the deer butted his hand, forcing him to start the gentle movements again. “I just told him to stop, and he did.” He turned his smile to the deer. “You’re just a scared little sweetie, aren’t you?” he cooed.

It might’ve been his imagination, but the deer seemed to roll its eyes.

-_-

Xiaotian loved his new pet.

As it turned out, the deer was not sweet. The stable master had made the mistake of trying to feed him, still amazed by its appearance, and the deer had bit him. Any stable boys were promptly kicked and bit until Xiaotian had arrived. At the very sound of his voice, the deer had calmed.

So, it was agreed. Xiaotian was the only one allowed to approach the deer. He didn’t mind. The buck was nice to him, even though he felt sassy to the point of brattiness sometimes. Still, he allowed him to brush out his fur, feed him, and take him out on walks. (He had tried to take some of his father’s horses out, but the deer had stomped its foot until the stable master took the reins. Xiaojiao had tried to join, but one attempted kick from the deer was enough.) Xiaotian had found a lovely meadow next to a waterfall, and there he grazed the deer.

Out there, alone with nothing but the deer and his thoughts, Xiaotian found himself talking to the deer. 

At first, it was nothing but notes on drawing his new pet. “You’re so energetic!” he said, scratching the deer’s head. “You’re giving me lots of practice for dynamic poses.” For the next few minutes, it felt like the deer was posing, allowing him to scrawl out the weird horns (the vet had no explanation for the horns) and the buck’s large chest.

Slowly, though, more thoughts came out. Some were just kingdom gossip that his father told him during dinner. Some were his own thoughts, mostly around his rejected engagement. “I wished I could’ve drawn him,” he admitted as the buck rested against him. “He was beautiful. Not like you-” The deer snorted with a vain little flick of his head. “Definitely not like you. You don’t have his eyes.”

Those amber eyes had seared into his skin, matching the warmth of the flames he so easily wielded. Xiaotian could imagine those amber eyes staring into his own, studying him with every inch. He sighed, shutting the book. “But, hey, at least I have you.”

It might’ve been his imagination again, but the buck looked sad.

That night, at dinner, his baba seemed… weird. Uneasy. He picked more at his food than ate it, and considering his appetite, Xiaotian had to ask. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Oh, well…” Sun Wukong looked around as if expecting to see someone eavesdropping. Most of the monkeys were in the dining hall, eating their food or talking with each other, the din rendering any attempts at eavesdropping moot. “Red Son is getting married.”

Xiaotian’s heart did a weird thing, a mix between a squeeze and an ache. “Really,” he said, trying to sound calm. “Who to?”

“Some noblewoman named Ivory Lady. The issue is that Red disappeared the day after I rejected his courtship of you,” Wukong stared at his bowl, his brows furrowed tight. “Apparently, he went on a quest for some way to reverse his family’s fortune. And then suddenly, he appeared out of nowhere with this random older woman?” Wukong picked up a slice of peach and bit into it almost savagely. “Maybe it’s just me…” He didn’t explain why he was concerned.

Xiaotian’s heart was busy doing that weird ache-squeeze.

He found himself not touching his dinner either, excusing himself as soon as he could. Xiaojiao was back home, visiting her great-uncle, so he found himself stumbling to the stable.

He shouldn’t have been surprised. DBK had been desperate to set Red up with a good match. And with things as poor as they were in the bull clan, Red would, of course, go looking for a match of his own. He just hadn’t expected it so soon, barely a month after his baba’s rejection.

The deer looked up with a mouth full of sweet cud as Xiaotian stumbled in, collapsing to his knees. The deer wasted no time snuggling up, looking up at him with those big dark eyes. It took a drop of water landing on the red fur to realize tears were rolling down his cheeks.

“I mean…of course, he would just try again with someone else…” Xiaotian sniffled, letting the tears roll down. “I wasn’t anyone special to him. We barely…barely knew each other…” Gods, he was crying over a guy he had only seen up close once. “I’m being ridiculous…”

The deer rose up, nuzzling his face. Xiaotian couldn’t help but laugh at the sweetness of the gesture.

“Yeah, I’m being stupid. Who cares if Red is getting married?” The deer’s eyes went wide. “I mean, I have plenty of opportunities- Where are you going?” The deer had stood up, looking around frantically. “Wait, hang on-” Before he could grab the collar, the deer had somehow managed to jump over the stall door. It wasn’t a full jump, leaving the deer struggling on its stomach on top of the door. In front of Xiaotian’s horrified gaze, the deer somehow managed to shimmy to the other side.

The moment he got his feet under him, the buck took off at a run.

Xiaotian scrambled past him, following the deer as fast as he could. Several screams and cries, like the first time he had been called to handle the deer, led him to the stone manor. The doors had been thrown open, and several monkeys were huddling around, clearly terrified. Xiaotian wished he could stop and comfort them, but he had to get his pet.

He finally caught up at the doors to the throne room, reaching in time to see the deer throw his head, throwing the doors open. Sun Wukong, talking with his marshals and generals, looked up, startled.

"WAIT!"

Xiaotian threw himself forward. It was the stupidest idea, but he had to try. He buried his fingers in the soft fur he had just been petting a few minutes ago and yanked down. The deer went stumbling head over heels, coming to a stop in front of Wukong.

"Sorry, baba!" Xiaotian said, desperately trying to keep the deer from moving. He hadn't bucked him off yet, which was a blessing. "He just started to freak out, I don't know what's wrong-"

"Red?"

"Huh?" Xiaotian looked up, realizing his father's eyes were glowing gold. On a guess, he looked down and allowed his gold vision to activate. (He honestly kept forgetting he had that.)

The next second he was scrambling off.

Instead of a deer, a bull demon was hunched on the floor. Those warm amber eyes, that scarlet fur...Prince Red stared up at him desperately. "...I've been keeping a prince in the stables," he managed out. There were several other issues, but that was the first he was focusing on.

Wukong's brows furrowed together. "Well, if he was in the stables, who's the Red getting married?" he asked. Red's face scrunched up in a furious look and if Xiaotian wasn't so embarrassed, he would be swooning.

“I have no idea.”

-_-

"I OBJECT!"

The wedding- sparsely but lovingly decorated- fell silent. Xiaotian's face burned, but he ignored it, focused on the couple mid-bow. The bride appeared to be an older but still beautiful woman, her features full of icy beauty. The groom was Red Son, prince of the Demon Bull King.

At least, he appeared to be.

"What is going on here?!" The Demon Bull King bellowed. He rose up, eyes narrowing on Xiaotian and his father. "Sun Wukong! You dare to interrupt! You already snubbed my son-"

"Yes, but I'm here on behalf of your son." It had taken a lot of work to figure out how to get Red here, but he trotted in, allowing Xiaotian to bury his fingers in his fur. "What appeared to be a simple but extraordinary deer caught the eye of my son. I looked upon him with my vision of truth." His voice rolled through the hall. "Do you want to know what I saw?"

Silence fell as everyone turned to stare at the frozen couple. The man pretending to be the prince was sweating while the bride just looked annoyed, especially when there was an awkward "Uh..."

'Red' squeaked as he went poof, revealing a scrawny man with big glasses and blue hair. The entire hall went silent. The woman, Ivory Lady or whatever, yanked her hands away with a disgusted noise. "I can see destiny refuses to let me walk this path," she sighed.

Red lunged forward, antlers clearly ready to gore, and she disappeared in a flash of cold blue. The man yelped, jumping off the stage just in time to avoid being gored. Two guards were immediately at his side, yanking him off his feet and away despite his protests.

The hall fell silent as people awkwardly, without much of a word, got up and shuffled out after the false groom. DBK didn't seem to care, rushing over to help Red get his antlers out of the wall. Princess Iron Fan trailed behind, looking surprisingly calm.

"How do we fix him?!" DBK demanded, hugging Red as best as he could. "I need my son back!"

"Well...uh, I don't know, we just found him like this...!"

As the argument continued to grow, Xiaotian slipped over to Red. The transformed prince nuzzled against his face. He sighed, scratching him in that spot he liked. “It's okay, Red,” No, it wasn't okay, but Xiaotian had to believe this could be fixed. “We’ll find a way. I promise.” He leaned forward and kissed Red right between his horns, sealing his promise.

Poof.

Xiaotian blinked at the sudden smoke, feeling heat crawl up his face. Instead of a soft deer, he was face to face with muscle. He dared to look up, feeling the heat grow even hotter as his legs went weak.

Red blinked, and suddenly, his hands were around his waist, keeping him steady. Xiaotian stared at him, wide-eyed, and that heat was just growing worse as Red grinned before his feet left off the ground as the taller prince scooped him up fully in his arms as he spun, holding him tight.

He had never been so thankful for being picked up.

"Thank you," Red said, his voice low before he moved forward. The kiss was soft and pleasant, sending an electric shock up Xiaotian's spine. He pulled away, and Xiaotian wasted no time, grabbing Red's collar and hauling him close for another kiss.

At least, he tried.

"Okay, okay, make som room for Buddha!" His father shoved their faces apart, looking like he had just come to the realization that Xiaotian and Red had technically been alone for weeks. "Red has some explaining to do."

"What happened?" DBK was the first to ask, which was reasonable. "Where did you go?! Your mother and I were so worried!"

Red managed a cough. "I went to the neighboring kingdom," he said. "I heard that the king there was interested in servants that never tired." He gestured. "I was hoping that we could arrange a deal, since we've made a way to mass-produce the bull clones." Those must've been the never-tiring servants he had created. "She...I met her first. She was his advisor, but she wanted the bull clones to serve her. I refused, because I didn't trust her."

"And she turned you into a deer," Xiaotian said, slotting the pieces together. "She must've figured marrying at least someone who claimed to be you was the best way to get her soldiers."

Wukong sighed. "Well, glad we could get that solved. C'mon, Xiaotian-"

"Nope." Red started walking in the other direction, still holding him close. Xiaotian couldn't, wouldn't protest. "I made a promise to myself that I would keep him, so..."

"Wait, HANG ON-!"

Red broke into a run, leaving Wukong to scramble after him. Xiaotian didn't protest, snuggling close.

He would miss his deer. But he was happy to have his prince.

[marzonomy]

Rick Prime x Reader

AN; I have been hyperfixated on rick and morty for the past several days/weeks/i lost track of time, so now i write for rick sanchez. I finally ended up caving and, out of curiousity, searched rick prime x reader only to discover there is a severe lack, so now I'm making the world a worse place by adding to the small handful of prime rick x reader fanfiction. Also, he's not a cold unfeeling monster in this which is ooc, but there is an explanation for it.

Rick never thought in a billion years this could happen.

He erased a woman from existence in every universe to prove a point that these feelings were stupid.

Yet here he was, absolutely head over heels. He didn't like it.

He felt weak. Vulnerable. This wasn't supposed to happen.

So, he tried to kill you. But he just couldn't bring himself to do it.

He didn't understand. You were C-137's lover, he should hate you just as he hates your boyfriend. He should want you dead.

Eventually, he figured he could just pretend to only want you to spite C-137, to steal you away since clearly murdering his last woman didn't work (and because he CAN'T kill you).

He figured, 'fake it til you make it', that if he convinced himself this was the case it eventually would be.

But you shot down each and every one of his advances, quite violently and maliciously as well.

This frustrated him immensely.

And then, frustration turned into obsession.

He found himself unable to get you out of his head. Found himself wanting you more and more.

He needed to have you. He was going to have you.

He hardly even devised a plan, just opened a portal into your room one night and straight up kidnapped you.

You were going to be his, whether you liked it or not.

If it came down to it, he would not hesitate to make you love him against your will. Remember when C-137 made that oxytocin thing for Morty? Yeah.

Of course he would use a milder form, he doesn't want you to get all clingy and fucked up like Jessica did, that would be obnoxious, and it wouldn't be you.

He kept you in some kind of underground sci-fi bunker, and at first he treated you as a pet. A prized possession.

But he eventually developed compassion for you.

Over time, he began treating you like a princess. He'd absolutely spoil you, give you everything you could ever want and more. Not just because you're the first person he's ever loved and he'd do anything for you, but also he'd do anything to keep you from leaving him.

He even let you outside under the condition that he would always be there with you, and even took you on dates sometimes!

So long as you behaved, he would keep treating you unusually nicely for someone like him.

[galeorderbride]

Intimacy Prompt: #43!

43: falling asleep with their head in your lap

Thank you sm for the prompt request!!

I like the idea of post game Professor!Gale when he first starts teaching. Maybe full of self doubt over whether he’s a good teacher, feeling frustrated that his pupils aren’t understanding concepts right away (mostly blaming himself). And Tav just comforting him at their home. 

A shortie ft. Gale x tav (uses she/her pronouns but no physical descriptions). Fluffy cuteness, comfort and nothing more 😊 

Rating: T

Count: 1337 

…

Gale was always a man to pour over documents with immense detail, but tonight, he seemed to be studying the same page on repeat. Pen scratching against the paper to the point of tearing, the sound of him mumbling to himself. Gale usually took so much pleasure in hours of research, absorbed in the material, but not this time. He mumbled, perturbed by his own work as he’d scold himself under his breath. 

For the first few hours, Tav left him to his work, knowing he wouldn’t feel better until he completed the task. Until he missed dinner, even when she called for him. No matter how much work he had to do, he’d made a habit of joining Tav at the table. She watched the clock tick, waiting for his steps down the stairs as the plate of chicken and vegetable stew grew colder. She should’ve checked on him already, but ever the people pleaser, she didn’t wish to bother him while in focus. 

Finally, she got up from the table and took his bowl in hand, travelling up the narrow stairwell. If he didn’t come out to eat, she would go to him. 

The wooden door was closed tight, but unlocked. Tav knocked a few times before entering, saying, “Gale, my love, are you alright? Your soup is getting cold. I know my cooking isn’t quite as good as yours, but it can’t be that scary.” 

He replied through the door, voice muffled but obviously exhausted, “Sorry, Tav, would you mind putting it away for me and I can reheat it later? Forgive me, dear, I have more to do than I anticipated.” 

Unsatisfied with his response, Tav sighed and entered his study. His back faced her, seated at his desk by a large window, fresh snow tapping against the glass as the evening turned to night. Candlelight illuminated piles of parchment around him, dotted with ink smudges and overlapping line edits. A mug of green tea sat on the end, untouched and cold. At the centre of it all was Gale, her loving fiance, slumped over the cherrywood surface with his head in his hands. 

Tav approached him, standing behind his chair as she placed the bowl on the desk and brought her hands to his shoulders. Velveteen fabric softened against her touch, lowering herself down to kiss the crane of his neck. The tension in his muscles was palpable, yielding even to the lightest rub. His tired eyes met hers, nothing but tenderness in those dark, chestnut eyes in desperate need of nutrients. 

“Gale, what’s wrong? You look as though you’ve just discovered the darkest secret of Nessus,” Tav asked. 

“Perhaps I’d feel a little better if I did,” he said, voice husky from tiredness. “At least then I’d provide a bit of value somewhere.” 

Tav looked over at his work, deciphering the multiple revisions to see he wasn’t doing research, he was strategizing classroom discussion. Private tutoring sessions, patterns of abbreviations for illusory spells, even planned workshops focusing on specific incantations. All the ideas were scratched out, or little comments written on them like ‘stupid’, ‘no’ and ‘absolutely not’.

“Are you doing lesson plans?” She asked, unable to conceal the confusion in her voice. 

“Failing lesson plans,” he said. “My students aren’t responding well to my current teaching style. They aren’t understanding concepts, their spell performance is mediocre at best, and I can see their eyes glazing over when I give my lectures on the ethics of phantasmal casting.” 

Riveting stuff, truly. His fixations on magical concepts that could get him going for hours if one wasn’t careful. Part of why Tav fell so deeply in love with him, rare to find such passion for subjects. She remembered nights at camp, taking peace in listening to his current fascination at the time. The only solace to such a deadly adventure. But perhaps a bunch of young apprentices weren’t as rose-coloured. 

“Well, you’ve only just begun teaching, love. Maybe you just need to get to know your students a little more, see what they want to get out of the class before you write the next manual on workshopping,” Tav said. 

“Perhaps I’m just not as good a teacher as I thought,” he said, voice lowering into a sombre tone as he sighed, throwing the quill pen across the desk. 

Tav ran her hands from his shoulders up to the nape of his neck, beginning to play with his hair. She gave a cheeky grin,“Last time we talked about students, I recall you thinking it was all their fault for not understanding.” 

He chuckled, “I blame you. Showing me love and humility. Now all I can do is think I’m the problem.” 

“I’ll venture to feed your ego more,” she joked, “Come, let’s take a rest for a moment.” 

Hand-in-hand, Gale followed her to their shared bedroom. A warm fire crackled in the hearth, the scent of balsam and mint enlivening the room from a scented candle on the mantle. Snow fell harder now, forming into a windy current that would surely become a blizzard by bedtime. A perfect environment for calming comfort, as Tav helped Gale remove his shirt, leaving him in nothing but lounge pants. After Tav put her own nightgown on, they crawled into bed. 

Gale rested his head on Tav’s lap, tracing his fingertips across the bare skin of her legs. Meanwhile, her hands ran through his hair again, brushing through the fine strands of beautiful, brown hair speckled with streaks of grey. Tav nestled in the pleasant bliss of hearing his even breath, calming with every stroke across the side of his head. The beat of his heart against her skin, so gloriously alive. There was once a time when he was willing to let that human beat expire, and how far he’d come, now absorbed in her embrace, filled with endless love and compassion. Even if that meant there wasn’t much power. There was no need for it in a caring household like this. 

Little kisses tickled the top of her thighs, mixed with the graze of his beard sending her into a sleepy comfort. She could play with his hair all night if he asked, such a simple, delicate pastime that reminded her of just how much she adored him. 

“Hmm, if you keep doing that, I may just fall asleep, my love,” he said, voice already trailing. His words slowed every time he was fighting sleep, mind always on overdrive but his body couldn’t always keep up. 

“Rest on me, Gale. I don’t mind,” she said, in a gentle whisper. 

He adjusted his position, wrapping his arms around the leg he rested on as if her thigh was a teddy bear. Her other leg crossed over his bare back, their bodies tangled within each other. Tav hummed a light lullaby, her voice like medicine to Gale’s ears as all his stress washed away. All that remained was the sensation of smooth skin, her nurturing voice, and the peace of being enveloped in the embrace of his greatest, most cherished love. 

As she sang, his eyes grew heavy, muscles loosening to the magic of her compassionate hands. That irresistible weightlessness began to overtake him, every thought of self doubt beginning to fade to a tiny smile. The lure of her song was so strong, she might’ve been one of the harpies they encountered back at the Emerald Grove. Their life had changed so much since then. His personal songstress caressing him in their queen sized bed, downy sheets and feather pillows as their shelter rather than tents and rocky ground.  

“Tav…I love you,” he said, lulling slowly into a peaceful sleep. The tapping of snow against the window, the snap of flame, her voice, all sending him into a comforting slumber. 

“I love you Gale Dekarios,” she said, moving a final piece of hair behind his ears before he fell into a deep sleep, making her laugh as he let out a small, adorable snore.

[stargildedskies]

Hiiii I just recently discovered your blog and omg your writing is so good?? Damn I’m impressed

Idk if you’re taking requests, if not just take this as a general ask, but I’m obsessed with the idea of Silco and a reader who is like a mother to Jinx after I read that “soft” (i think that was the name?) fic… and I was wondering, how do you think it would get to that point? Surely it must’ve been hard for Silco to accept that this woman would just come into the last drop demanding to see his little devil of a daughter and taking care of her… enemies to lovers much? Anyway… just wanted to hear what are your thoughts in how they would come around to become a couple

Ooooh, thank you so much for reaching out, my darling anon!! I appreciate your sweet compliment so much. It made me smile so much during my crappy week 💜

I’d love to write a longer piece about this (and I absolutely will), so I’ll just leave you with a few thoughts for now!

Here's a link to the Soft fic mentioned in the ask! (it is absolutely NSFW, be warned) If you'd like to be added to my taglist for when I post the full thing, click here

Pairing: Silco x fem!reader

Warnings: None, really. This is SFW with the barest hint of suggestive content at the end

At some point, Silco realizes that he either needs to eliminate everyone from Jinx's past life or he needs to use them to connect with her. This strange, incredibly vexing woman is the strongest link to Jinx's past that she still has.

I'm sure that Jinx has a very hard time in the first few weeks after Silco's takeover. It's a struggle to get her to eat, bathe, and just generally take care of herself. She opens up to Silco some, but to his immense frustration that damned woman just keeps showing up and Jinx instantly calms for her.

Silco still has that choice to make. He can forbid the woman from returning (which she's very unlikely to agree to without force), outright get rid of her, or he can just accept her help and try to manage her involvement in Jinx's life.

I think Silco mulls it over quite a bit, especially when Jinx inevitably shuts him out, and he can't connect with her in any way. Killing the woman would be relatively simple, and maybe Jinx could move past the devastating loss, but he can't stop thinking about how his new daughter curls up in her arms.

Silco tells himself he's just being practical, and maybe he is, but the softness with which the woman holds Jinx is the first small chip in his armor towards her.

She does annoy the hell out of him, though, as the only person who can seemingly defy the most feared kingpin in the undercity. He also finds this more attractive than he'd care to admit, which makes him even more sour about the whole thing.

Meanwhile, the woman continues to just show up unannounced to The Last Drop. In an attempt to gain some form of control, Silco finally just snaps and tells her to come on two specific days of the week. Jinx cheers, the woman smiles at him, and Silco instantly realizes that was probably her plan all along. Damnit.

Continuing on with the soup idea from the fic, I think she and Jinx bake together a lot. Silco may have a hard time getting Jinx to eat at every other time, but the little girl absolutely devours anything the woman makes her.

She always leaves out a plate for Silco, which he doesn't eat after that first night. The first reason is because he's petty and still doesn't want to like the woman, and the second is because Jinx will eat the leftovers.

Sevika absolutely loves her, and so do the rest of Silco's staff because the woman has bribed gifted them all with homemade food. They all know her as a woman with a heart of gold who is fiercely protective of Jinx. She's not a threat Silco couldn't handle if he had to, but Sevika does derive some secret pleasure from how badly the incredibly lovely woman vexes her boss.

The first time Silco loses his temper at her in front of Jinx, the little girl cries, and the woman immediately brandishes a rolling pin at him. The sight makes Jinx break out into a small fit of giggles, and Silco just freezes and walks away, muttering under his breath.

Silco can't stop thinking about her, which frustrates him to no end. She's kind but will stand up to a drug kingpin with a fucking rolling pin, she loves his daughter like her own, and she's annoyingly good at cooking. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she stayed.....

I absolutely do think the more Silco realizes he actually likes the woman, the nastier he behaves towards her. He finds some way to rationalize it, but the truth is that he's trying to manufacture a reason to hate her.

I think it all comes to a breaking point one night after the woman puts Jinx to bed. Maybe the woman tries to make some gesture of goodwill towards Silco before she leaves, but he lashes out at her. It starts a yelling match between the two, and they start getting closer together as the argument grows more heated.......

And this is where I'll leave you ;)

[eventhorizon081]

As someone who fell hard for Xiangli Yao, I have to say -- words cannot articulate how let down I was by the Moonchase Act IV story, oh my gods. Spoilers below:

In the span of twenty minutes, I went from thinking "maybe wuwa can actually write a story" to so immensely frustrated. I read Xiangli Yao's character stories and I thought this was going to be something about how it isn't worth it to burn yourself away for the sake of pursuing more knowledge but NO they just turned it into some type of fairy tale everyone gets what they wanted in the end story. I thought Pascal was being built up to be a contrast to Xiangli Yao with the whole "I should give up everything for research" belief, while XLY believes in pacing himself and not burning up just to reach higher heights.

It's so immensely frustrating that wuwa's writers got halfway there, and then completely dropped the ball. First off, Abby fully killed the mood in the "circle of doors" room (but that's more of a personal gripe, and not really all that significant). Then, the whole "corruption" in the second half of the sonoro sphere journey was just so underexplained and badly done. I think the story had so much potential, with Pascal and the other researchers finally burning out when their research results yielded nothing. And then...there was nothing more that the quest had to say after that -- at least, nothing that wasn't incredibly muddled. Everyone's looking to Xiangli Yao to save them -- but why? We, as the readers, have zero context beyond "Xiangli Yao is a genius," and I think this scene in particular could have been done better if there was more of a clear invitation from the other researchers to Xiangli Yao -- an invitation to burn himself up in pursuit of research along with them. Yes, subtlety is good, but not in this case.

I'm also really conflicted about whether they should've written Pascal's work as so successful. I think it works, but the way they did it was completely wrong, because it actually teaches the opposite lesson: that we *should* burn ourselves out, because our work will have a legacy beyond us. I think that's a fine lesson to tell, but given that it goes against everything the writers were building up up to this point, it feels a little odd. They probably should've picked one side, instead of trying to do nuance in such a ham-handed way. Also, the lack of build-up to Pascal's big old confessional really felt like lazy storytelling. We went from "it's right to do anything to discover the knowledge I need" to "I was completely wrong and I should've backed off". And yes, I know, time and boss fights and all, but it was jarring to me, at least.

Also, can we fucking talk about Xiangli Yao *defending* Pascal's ideals during the boss fight? I'm actually going to throw hands, because it seems SO out-of-character for Xiangli Yao not to be concerned about Pascal's behavior at ANY POINT in that quest, and while I do think Xiangli Yao would defend Pascal's memory, I think he also wouldn't look up to Pascal as a role model of any sorts, given that they clearly had that fundamental rift in ideals.

Overall, super pissed about that quest because I can personally relate a lot to Xiangli Yao's conflicts (at least in his character stories), and I thought I was going to get a wonderful story where those conflicts were explored. I loved the lighthearted dating sim-esque parts of the moonchase quest, but I was seriously excited when I figured we were finally going to get an insight into XLY's character. Sadly, it was a bit of a letdown. Hoping that this isn't the last we see of Yao, though, because his character stories contain some JUICY facts about the worldbuiling of wuwa as a whole.

[gingerdusk]

I’ve noticed that a lot of people have some problems with the Totk narrative and was wondering what you thought about it! I’m personally pretty neutral but I can see why people don’t like it. Have a wonderful day!

Okay so controversial opinion here from me:

TotK > BotW

WITH A CAVEAT

I enjoy games IMMENSELY more when I'm not spoiled on them. Skyrim mesmerized me because I flat out was not expecting an actual execution in the first five minutes. I love exploring things for myself.

I went into TotK with ZERO proper spoilers, on purpose. All I had was my own speculation from my trailer breakdowns, and the barest glimpse of Sonia from a leak. The world fascinated me. The physics engine was insanely fun to play with. I got super excited with the return of caves and dozens of collectables. I loved discovering new recipes. I LIVED in the Depths. And the slow horror of figuring out what exactly Zelda did to herself—I saw Tear 3, felt a sinking feeling of dread, rushed into the Depths of the castle to break down that last mural, then panicked as I raced around Hyrule trying to get the rest of the memories. I got the final memory, and I stood on top of Zelda's head for half an hour in shock.

BotW, on the other hand, I spoiled myself on, and was let down by in terms of what I expected out of it. I think the story would have captivated me had I stayed off of Youtube and actually bought the game (was broke at the time, didn't get it until 2019) and experienced it as intended. But I KNEW all the cutscenes, so I didn't have a drive to chase them. Which left the mechanics of the game on their own for me to get used to; I liked cooking, I loved getting a house. I hated how few enemy types there were, I missed my pieces of heart and secret caves and collectables. It's a secret to everybody? Wrong. 85000 shrines.

I started Zelda with Twilight Princess. That's been the bar for me since the beginning. If lighting two unlit torches doesn't give me a secret chest, or beating a challenging minigame doesn't give me a better quiver, it doesn't feel like Zelda to me.

Everything in BotW felt samey because I'd taken the narrative out of its natural habitat and experienced it as a movie rather than as a game, and the most variation enemies really had was a color or elemental difference. No Redeads in the desert, no Toadpoli in the lake, no Freezards in the ice. Also the bosses had no individuality.

Now, I 100% understand why people who love BotW don't love TotK. A lot of what was set up in BotW was undercut in favor of telling the story of Ocarina of Time again. There's no moving past the cycle like BotW implied there would be, and the refusal of the devs to so much as show the ruins of the last game's pivotal pieces feels like they didn't want to commit to anything. It's like if Four Swords and Four Swords Adventures were said to be direct sequels; they've got the same flavor, the same mechanics, but why does NOTHING have continuity?

(I've kind of microdosed on this frustration myself in regards to the timeline; all that effort to say BotW was at the end of all three timelines and do away with the mess they released in Hyrule Historia, and they add Zonai tech in on top of the Sheikah tech with no continuity??? Rauru and Sonia vs Skyward Zel??? Rito existed at the dawn of time. What)

As a continuation of BotW's narrative, it fails. Not egregiously enough for fans to be able to disconnect them and call them their own stories, but badly enough that the overall story feels like it was meant to be two, not one. That's a frustrating point to be in; too much is intertwined between them to break them off and create for them separately, but it's also not intertwined enough that you can't see that it's fraying at the edges.

Anyways...

I liked it. A lot. I think the whole dragon plotline and worldbuilding is fascinating. I have my gripes with dialogue, as one always does with Nintendo games, but you know.

[crazy-ache]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

Thank you @littedidyouknow for tagging me! Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going!

(If you're in my answers consider yourself tagged if you'd like to play!!)

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024? 311,253

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

15 completed!

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

I have 3 in progress/ongoing fics from this year! I started Divine Punishments (lol oops), have my ongoing drabble fic Choke on Desire, and am currently working on Treacherous Waters.

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

This is such a hard question to answer. But while it was a long time ago now, I am going to go with Separate My Body From My Soul. This was the first piece where I really felt like I found my stamina and voice as a fic writer. It feels very quintessential crazy-ache writing.

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

The most experimental was writing Dear Lucien, Dear Elain with @zenkindoflove. Epistolary writing isn't all that common in fanfiction, and then to write each one as a series of letters with another author (our own chapters serving as true, authentic reactions to what we read) made the writing experience feel so alive and rich. It was incredibly fun and creatively fulfilling. I cherish those memories so much!

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

I did not expect Animal Instincts to cause a little riot. I made new friends, got the funniest anons, and had people really invested with each update. The chapters flew out of me because they were a blast. Both the writing process and the reception shocked me.

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

I personally loved my oneshot for Lucien Week this year, The Fox Hunt. I was quite proud of the quality of my writing and take on a small historical AU. It had rakish, Fae Lucien and scandalized human Elain which is one of my favorite combos.

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

@jadedbug @works-of-heart @bonecarversbestie @fierling @olenvasynyt Are all artists that greatly inspire me - from their kindness, to their talent, to the way they feed fandom with their amazing content!

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

@zenkindoflove inspires me daily! I couldn't have done all that I did this year without her encouragement, her accountability, her brain to pick...she's been my writing rock since we started chatting at the beginning of this year.

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

@sapphiresandgold @jsmelodies @clarafae @fortheloveofbanksy @the-darkestminds @starsreminisce @olenvasynyt You are all so talented and I've loved reading your works!

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

@zenkindoflove It all started because we talk too much and share a brain. Just as simple as a..."hey what if we...." And then we just jumped into a Google Doc. We hope to do another collab next year!

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

Finishing ACOWAR (Elucien's Version). It's my longest fic and first completed long fic. I basically rewrote the entire ACOWAR fic which was no easy task, but one I enjoyed immensely.

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

The more you write the better you get. It seems intuitive enough, but when I first started writing fanfic again more consistently, I was frustrated how slow I felt. But the more I wrote, the faster I got. You start to get your groove and know your skills. Now cranking out 10k isn't so much an insurmountable task to do in a week. Ideas, plots, characters, world building...all of that got easier too. Practice really does make you better. So don't get frustrated if you're starting out and not seeing or feeling like you're at your best.

14. Any advice you’d like to share with new or aspiring writers?

This is a community. Fanfiction got a lot more fun to write the more friends I had to share it with - comment, share, kudo, reach out to people via DMs...it really is worth the experience.

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

I'm going to finish up Treacherous Waters and then shift my focus to my Body Swap AU. I also want to explore some original writing in my free time.

Tagging (no pressure): @zenkindoflove @clarafae @sapphiresandgold @jsmelodies @shadowqueenjude @starsreminisce @bonecarversbestie @the-darkestminds @olenvasynyt

[mochifiction]

Finally finished the new Earthspark episodes and I’ll definitely voice my thoughts on it soon. However, there have been a few complaints I’ve seen on here that genuinely confuse me pertaining to how this fandom interprets this show regarding plot, pacing, character arcs, and target audiences. I saw one user already dislike the fact that the Maltos are the weakest point of this show mostly because of the more slice-of-life episodes that lack that TRANSFORMERS vibe such as conflicts with the war and its lore, consequences of these conflicts, and more. This person rightfully acknowledges that ES was not meant for people their age, and that right there is the point. This entire season was in of itself exposition, to put it in literary terms. It laid the foundations for future conflict, purpose, and development. If you think about it in a timeline of our episodes, we only just met Nightshade, Hashtag, and Jawbreaker not that long ago. It was only JUST NOW that Jawbreaker got an alt-mode. This show is partially if not majorly about growth. The audience grows up with these characters in an initially healthy learning and family environment. The Terrans are discovering the world we as an older audience on this app know already. They were also initially heavily protected to keep them away from Ghost. That healthy and secluded environment leads to discovery and family development. It is only later that this bubble starts to burst, and the more they are exposed to the war’s consequences, the further they stray from childhood innocence. Innocence that we as the audience believes deserves to be protected, but won’t be. It’s easy to be frustrated or bored with the more casual episodes. The amount of secondhand embarrassment I got watching the Terrans break boundaries or go about things I wouldn’t is immense. However, quite frankly, that’s the point. They’re children. Those around them attempted to protect them from consequences of a war that did not involve them. Unfortunately, they fail by the end of the season, which goes into my second point.

A lot of people think some character encounters or developments here were too rushed, but this goes back to my statements about the plot pyramid. This was intentional because it is the exposition. If anyone remembers their elementary school English lessons, they would remember exposition introduces characters, conflict, setting, etc. That was the purpose of this season. We have hints and undertones that were not answered this season, but if all of the conflict was resolved in the first few chapters of a book, it wouldn’t be so entertaining now would it? The things that were not resolved or touched upon this season are likely going to be in the future. Starscream’s time to shine was brief, which a lot of people disliked apparently, but there are clear indications his hatred and resistance against Megatron persist. A lot if not all of the Decepticons heavily loathe Megatron and view him as a traitor. They came to help the Maltos at the end of the season to help save their kind, NOT to resolve this conflict with Megatron. Thrash even in this new chunk of episodes is clearly frustrated that they inherited a war that had nothing to do with them, and this is not the first time he’s said it. That wasn’t resolved this season. We finally got Orion Pax lore! That didn’t get developed this season. All of these things are obviously going to reappear in the seasons to come. That’s how plot works. We got the exposition of a brand new show with new concepts and new takes on old ones. To cram deeply fleshed ideas, arcs, and attempts to satisfy everyone while still catering to kids on Nickelodeon is HARD.

You may be asking where I think these loose ends will go. I think we will probably get more inner Cybertronian conflict next season. With the fallout of Mandroid and Ghost as an organization, humans as the antagonists may potentially shift away from focus. The dust had settled and left Autobots and Decepticons, who still heavily disagree, all together. There is clear resentment from the Decepticons to Megatron, but there is also open hatred between them and Optimus who, to their knowledge, orchestrated and justified their imprisonments. Not only that, but the classic Autobot vs. Decepticon hatred by affiliation remains. I believe the war will be discussed more in the next season along with inner Cybertronian conflict. While this season covered a lot of hatred to the Terrans from people outside of their species, it is possible it will also cover the struggle of receiving hatred or judgement from people you would hope to find kinship with. This will probably be where that childhood innocence dissipates and more individual growing up amidst war aftermath takes place. I’m not sure, but what I’m trying to say is a lot of you are impatient and are asking a whole lot from a show’s first season and then getting upset or irritated when things don’t happen right away. It’s called patience. We are in the exposition. Let them cook for Christ’s sake.

[ncisfranchise-source]

Will they? Won't they? Almost.

The season 1 finale of NCIS: Origins made some major progress in the romantic situation between Gibbs (Austin Stowell) and Lala (Mariel Molino), including a steamy near-kiss in a swimming pool (one derailed by Gibbs' confession about giving Lara Macy (Claire Berger) his rifle).

By episode's end, it's not even clear whether Lala is still alive. So why couldn't creators David J. North and Gina Lucita Monreal do us a solid and let them have that one intimate moment?

"We did have funny conversations about that kiss," says Monreal. "We only filmed it that way. That's the way it was written. And that's the decision that we made."

"We felt it was the right decision for the characters," she continues. "They both really wanted to [kiss] in this moment, but it wouldn't have been right for Gibbs to let that happen because he had this immense news to tell her. It just wouldn't have been truthful in that moment. So he pulls away and tells her the truth."

The kiss wasn't the only big moment of the finale. In addition to all of Gibbs' drama with Lara Macy, the episode saw Mike Franks (Kyle Schmid) finally discover that all of the mysterious phone calls he was getting were from his brother, Bernard "Randy" Randolf (Caleb Foote) asking for a desk job, Mary Jo (Tyla Abercrumbie) laying down some hard truths, and Gibbs crossing paths with Diane (Kathleen Kenny), who will become his second wife, for the first time.

We called up Monreal and North to ask them about all of the finale's major reveals — and what they might mean for season 2.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: On the Franks side of things, is Tish gone for good?

DAVID J. NORTH: The difficult thing with Franks and Tish is that he really is the love of her life. But unfortunately, life is difficult and the way things were going and the decisions Franks felt he had to make with her attacker, put them in a place where they couldn't go back, at least for the time being. But in the future, only time will tell. 

Lala is confronted with the misogyny and the racism that she has to put up with at every turn. Whether that's Macy's reminder about how much they protect the people they work with to Barrett's (Toby Huss) gross implications about why they hired her. How much do those reminders weigh on all of these decisions she makes? 

GINA LUCITA MONREAL: It's a huge part of who she is, but at the end of the day, she doesn't let that define who she is. That all goes into that confrontation and conversation that she has with Franks. She's saying all of these things — I've shown up every day, and still, you doubt me — but she never lets that change the person that she wants to be. She just pushes ahead, and she does what she thinks is right and doesn't let that other stuff define who she is. And she does that until the end of this episode.

Does any part of Franks actually believe Lala has it in her to betray them?

MONREAL: Franks thinks exactly what he said. He thinks that maybe she didn't mean to, and this was her friend, and she maybe had a couple glasses of wine. They trade information, and she may have mentioned something in passing that got Laura Macy curious. But no, I don't think that he thinks she ever maliciously would turn Gibbs over and put him in danger.

NORTH: I've always felt like even the part of him that thinks, "Well, she probably would never be that careless," that's overwhelmed in this moment by the frustration of what's happening and the powerlessness he's feeling. He's looking to take out his frustration somewhere. And unfortunately, that place is often Lala.

Both Franks and Lala really stressed to Gibbs that confessing doesn't just implicate him, it involves them too. So why do you think he goes ahead and gives Lara the rifle?

NORTH: It's who he is, ultimately. Gibbs is someone that wants to try to stand up and do the right thing. I don't think that means he always does do the right thing. He felt he was doing what was honorable. And I love the way coming out of the pool that Lala puts him in his place, that spin from such an intimate moment to "Screw you, dude. There's other people involved, and this wasn't your call to make."

MONREAL: And when he does turn over that the rifle and he says, "Leave my team out of it," he is believing that Macy will remain true to her word and just go after him. He knows that he is the main target here, and if she takes him down, she'll get what she wants. She doesn't really want to take down the rest of the team. And when Lala does say that in the pool, that, "What you do affects other people," to me, she's saying it on an emotional level that "if you do this to yourself, it's affecting me," because she is in love with him.

Mary Jo is the one to identify that Lala is struggling with her feelings for Gibbs. Is it fair to say that that conversation is what provokes Lala to confront Macy? Or is it something else? 

MONREAL: Yes, it's that conversation with Mary Jo and her coming to terms with her feelings. But also in that moment realizing that she might have another card to play with Barrett because she knows that she can use that relationship and the way he's talked to her to her advantage. So, she goes armed with that idea to Macy. As far as the character of Lala in that moment, Mary Jo is helping her come to terms the fact that she really does love this man. In that moment, she's realizing what she's willing to do for him. So it is a pivotal turning moment for the Lala character.

Lala makes a decision as impulsively as Gibbs. Is there any sense that she would eat her words or any realization on her part that she's doing something that affects other people too? 

NORTH: Well, what's so great is they really have so much in common, these two characters. It's one of those things where it creates so much electricity between them, but at the same time, they both do have some impulsive qualities. In this situation, Lala really saw what she was doing as entirely selfless. Seeing that she had no other option, this was the only way to save Gibbs — to say that she was there with him, to put her friend, Lara Macy, in a situation where she had no other recourse other than to essentially take Lala's freedom from her.

MONREAL: She really does think she's saving him in that moment. But it's funny that you bring that up because it is the push and pull between Gibbs and Lala. And when she says, "Well, we can't tell Randy." And Gibbs says, "Well, to be fair, this is what made you so angry at me." It's true that they do both do the same thing, but they see it in different ways.

Lara Macy has a long journey ahead of her before we meet her in the mothership. Might we see her on the show again? 

MONREAL: We never say never. She's in our world now, so could be. 

Franks' brother calls him up to talk about Vietnam. Does that mean we're going to see him in season 2? Can you tell us about what that might open up? 

MONREAL: The plan is to fill out that story with Franks' brother Mason in season 2. We had always planned on going deeper into that story, but didn't have the real estate in season 1. So we're excited to play that out in season 2. There's one line of dialogue in the mothership where Frank talks about having a brother, and that's really one of the only mentions of it. So, it really is a wide open area for us to explore. 

Randy wants a desk job. Where is that ask going to lead him in season 2?

NORTH: Randy's had so many different close calls and he's thinking about Randy Junior and his family. But I don't know that Randy, once he's stuck to a desk, would find that as appealing as he thinks. So we'll see where it takes us.

Gibbs, as he says, collides with his future a bit in these final moments. His real estate agent is Diane, who viewerrs know is Gibbs' eventual second wife. Will we see more of her in season 2? 

MONREAL: We definitely will stick to canon. We're very aware of Gibbs' relationships that have been established on the show and are excited to figure how to portray them in Origins. It's an interesting challenge, and one we're definitely up for.

We get to see the moment that Lala realizes her feelings for Gibbs, but then in voiceover he says, "I loved her all along and still do so." That's older Gibbs reflecting. How long did it take him to realize? Was there any part of him that would've tried to tell her prior to this point? 

NORTH: Gibbs has been knowing and fighting these feelings. It's such a difficult time in their lives, with him having just lost Shannon and Lala coming out of a relationship. But the electricity has been palpable between them, and I'm sure he's had moments where he's thought about it. But that moment in the pool was where everything came to a head.

[goldensunset]

it’s breath of the wild’s 7th anniversary can i get sappy and vulnerable on main real quick cuz it completely changed my life

so it was christmas 2017 when my brother received a nintendo switch and breath of the wild. i remembered watching him play a bit the day he got it and funny enough my first thought back then upon seeing the opening cutscene was ‘wow this animation is janky’ because i thought we were watching an animated movie. the moment i realized it was a video game i was shook. bc for a game WOW how beautiful. anyway i watched him mess around and die horribly and it was funny but i didn’t think much about it

flash forward a few months later. in april of 2018- a nice spring day, must’ve been a weekend or some other time i had time off bc my friend was over- my brother came home from college and brought his nintendo switch and this game over. he had me make a file and i didn’t know what i was doing at all because i was not only unfamiliar with the game and console, but largely unfamiliar with the concept of this type of video game at all

see, i was not a gamer at all. i had played mario kart/party and some random stuff on the ds but nothing resembling an action adventure game aside from super mario 64 ds. and i never got past like the first level or so on that game bc i was bad at it as a kid and also like.. scared? of games? like a game in which you had to fight enemies and could take damage and die. even something really simple like a goomba was actively stressful to me somehow. (to this day i still kind of have the hyper-empathy mindset where letting the video game player die feels like letting a real person die i have to treat a fun work of fiction like a real life-or-death situation so i just prefer not to get into danger when i can avoid it. all that’s changed is i have the skill to face danger and accumulate ways to protect myself now lol)

soooo i don’t know what manner of madness convinced me to even try a game like breath of the wild, which is immensely more complicated and difficult than super mario 64 ds. but maybe it’s bc i was older then or bc my friend was over to help me and we were like trading the console? but you get what i’m saying. as one might expect, i was pressing the wrong buttons, getting overwhelmed by basic enemies, falling off cliffs bc i lacked precision skills in my motion, etc.

and as one might expect, i eventually got frustrated and bored. i remembered my brother asking me what my long-term strategy or plan was for playing the game, and that question sort of overwhelmed me because i was thinking ‘do i really intend to keep playing at all?’. when i put the game aside that day (after having only reached/fallen off the great plateau tower, i mean) i wasn’t really interested in continuing, and i figured i could probably never be good at it anyway.

but for some reason, and i wish i remembered why, i picked it back up again not long after. me, who had never been willing to commit to a game. maybe it was my desire to correct my failures and figure out what i was at last doing. i felt ready for a good challenge and i got the sense this was the sort of game that was more skill than luck. maybe it was the beautiful scenery and ambience. maybe it was that sense of peaceful melancholy. maybe it was because i could see so much on the horizon, so many mysteries around me, that i just had to be able to reach someday. in such a massive open world in which the plot wasn’t spoonfed to me but i had to discover it, my interest had been piqued.

or maybe it was because i was bored and depressed. i was close to the end of freshman year in high school, which had been pure misery. difficult to understate just how awful life was for me during that point in time (but it was just the terrifying cocoon stage of becoming a butterfly). so yeah, why not pick up a new piece of media? why not dive into this world? i think we all know just how powerful it is to develop a new interest when going through a rough patch- it can turn absolutely everything around. (even if it ends up distracting you from the work you need to do lol. but in my case i consider that a necessary tradeoff for giving me the serotonin my brain doesn't naturally produce enough of)

and i think there's something to be said about the medium of a video game, which was basically new to me at the time- i think it's something about the ability to have control over what's happening. in tv shows things just happen. in real life i felt like i had no control over anything. so i was suddenly able to express myself in a way that i had never gotten to before, and it was powerful. especially in an open-world game with so much to do and discover. (something something the adhd-er's wild fantasy of being able to complete tasks and make progress).

i quickly became addicted- i could play for hours on end and barely put a dent in the smallest section of the map. i couldn't believe how genuinely massive the world was and i just wanted to explore more and more, but without skipping anything i came across. i still remember in my mind exactly where i was in my house when reaching many of those early-game checkpoint places, curled up in a chair in the corner, listening to my mom make dinner in the other room... etc. the definition of nostalgia. (which is something i only have so much of given how most of my interests i didn't get into until significantly later in life. i was 15 when this was happening whereas most people's childhood nostalgia type stories are from when they were like 5 to 8. but this was such a foundational time in my life y'know?)

i remember hours of getting lost in the wilderness (i truly had the worst habit of either not getting the maps or not heeding them) and never going on the clearly marked roads bc i was convinced i could take a shortcut by just taking a straight line to my destination. which often involved attempting to scale a ridiculously steep and tall mountain with like one and a half wheels of stamina. live and learn, right?

i remember the way it took absolutely forever to reach zora's domain (the fact that i didn't get the tower map beforehand probably significantly contributed to that) so the absolute joy and relief i felt when i got there and was safe at last. i adore all the champions so much but mipha is for sure the one that messes up my heart the most to this day, as both the first one i got and the one with objectively the most emotional story. something about water levels has always unsettled me- no matter what, to me they're always associated with being cold, wet, and uncomfortable, even if it's supposed to be beautiful (and vah ruta sure wasn't meant to be for obvious reasons). especially if the player has to swim- whether there's limited breath or not, i can't help but imagine how stressful it would be to dive deep and be under pressure like that. but on the flip side, once you're finally done with those levels and back on dry land, it feels comforting. warm, dry and stable again- sort of like how you feel after you're finished crying. you had to endure the drowning and the suffering and now you're safe. that's how the vah ruta quest feels to me.

each new ruin, or quiet little settlement, really just lodged its way into my heart, but i think the location that makes me the most emotional is the flight range- its beautiful broken melody, the howling wind and snow, its position in the middle of the wilderness like a little safe haven in the mountains, the faint memory of revali... i used to just go there and sit for hours. it's just gorgeous and it hits so hard. once again, it's all about that quiet, solemn peace after a tragedy has occurred- the sadness lingers, but you learn to live again. botw just excels at this in pretty much every aspect, enough said

which comes to the central conflict of the premise- our titular heroine, zelda, and her struggles to complete her duty, her guilt complex, the pressure and loneliness she felt, etc. i have identified so closely with her for the entire time i've known her. (done a fair amount of projecting too but listen. listen) the way she felt weak and powerless and just wanted to find a way to make people happy, especially her overbearing father who didn't care enough for her happiness... that hit so hard as an emotionally volatile teenager with similar issues. to this day my dad only talks to me to nag me about something important i need to do but he's never cared about my personal interests. he acts more like my manager than my parent. throughout high school especially i just kept falling back to zelda's story every time my dad was being awful and i needed to escape him, listening to him call me lazy, behind the ball, etc when i was clearly going through severe depression that would have never even occurred to him. and while unlike zelda i still have my mom she's always been incredibly emotionally distant so there was no looking to her either. i blamed myself for everything that went wrong even though i never could've done anything without the kind of help i needed, similar to zelda

for me personally the theme of failing to succeed in the role other people were pressuring her into resonated with me and my undiagnosed... whatever it is. i am positive i am not neurotypical. i've always more or less self-identified as adhd (my parents would laugh if i suggested that) and i've never received support or treatment or anything. that plus the undiagnosed and untreated depression. the way zelda just couldn't do something that she had no idea how to even begin trying to do, the way going through the rituals that worked for other people did nothing for her... that hit hard as someone just barely trying to stay alive in high school, who always felt alienated from others and never could understand exactly why, who was bad at a lot of things... but my dad only cared about results

and in turn. the emotional catharsis of her finally unlocking the latent power she'd been struggling to reach inside her. it's never been established exactly what it was that was wrong with her that prevented her from unlocking it but i think we all know it had something to do with her heart not being free until the moment she had the courage to do something brave, dangerous, and important through her own free will- going against the grain, standing up for someone she loved, etc. that's an essay for another time tho. to me that's what makes it so powerful- yeah this (back)story is still a tragedy, but there's hope. she found her own path. she still had to undergo lots of suffering afterwards but she had what she needed to succeed. and she got her happy ending in the end. i probably don't need to explain why that's so meaningful to me as someone who loves her so much and relates too hard. also her dad died (i am NOT wishing that upon my dad to be clear). i mean for her that's a bad thing bc he did regret his actions and never get to apologize to her and she wishes she had gotten to see him again but also that's in the fantasy world where one could reasonably expect their father to change. i've kind of given up on that but maybe someday after we've gotten some distance... idk

in short. botw hits me like a truck with the way it brings you so, so low, in the pits of despair, and then brings you back up. not everything is fixed and perfect at the end, the characters who died stay dead, but they finally get to pass on and rest in peace. we free zelda. we bring back the most significant parts of link's memory. we watch the broken and scattered world begin to grow and breathe again. perfectly cathartic and hopeful and powerful for someone going through such awful things. i'm not out of the woods yet with all my ten thousand problems but i'm in a much better place now. i've typed way too many words here and it's still like not enough to express just how much this game means to me. i could go on forever and ever about the things i find objectively good about this game but this ramble was meant to focus on the subjective meanings i've found within it. breath of the wild has been nothing short of a blessing for me. thank you nintendo, truly.