#so he was naive and thought maybe someone finally didnt hate him for his powers and then oops!

[moeblob]

Because his inner monologues really are just. So long. And I think it's important to show how much this guy thinks in order to say "not quite".

[low-budget-korra]

Lets talk about Korra

Today I will speak of her, which in my opinion is one of the greatest characters everr : Avatar Korra.

 At first we see a 17 year old girl who probably had her first contact with a lot of things. First contact with a big city, first crush, first handful of responsibilities, first threat...

It is worth mentioning that since day one, Korra has embraced the role of Avatar with all strength and love. She felt proud of her position and willing to do her job as the Avatar

(look at this precious little thing)

Remember that she spent her entire life locked in a training center, without contact with the rest of the world, so her knowledge of everything beyond the gates where she lived was new.

Right in the beginning  we see her dealing with some Equalists Protestants, which she does not take seriously. And only when she witnesses the power of the leader of this movement, she begins to take the threat very seriously and also, to fear this man more than everything in her life until then.

What does Amon represents for Korra?

I think this question can be easily answered by Korra's simple argument of love being the Avatar. And at least in the beginning of the book one they hinted that her life was just about that, Being the Avatar.

We are not introduced to any friends of Korra, except for Naga, or past boyfriend / girlfriend. Nothing. We only know that this girl is the Avatar. And I would not be surprised if that was the only way she saw herself.

Maybe that's why fight in pro-bending was so important. Not only as a means of socialization, after all it was thanks to the pro-bending that she met her friends, but also as a training and more important, search for identity. I think part of the journey of Korra in the first two books is a lot about that: search for identity.

Then, answering the question, Amon is the only person who can destroy that image, which can destroy Korra. He can destroy it without even needing to kill it. And that's exactly what he does.

In episode 4, we have, in my opinion, the darkest episode of the entire Avatar series. To be honest, I'm sure that if TLOK were a live action series for example, we may have a scene of sexual assault or an explicit threat of this there , because of the power struggle there between those two characters, no, power abyss and the way Amon touch her, her face, without her consent . Some people felt some kind of sexual tension there, no wonder there are people who shiped Amorra (Korra and Amon) back in the day.

That scene is powerful because Amon did not have to sexually touch Korra to violate her. At least, this whole situation served for her to open up with Tenzin over her fears and consequently learn how to deal with them, because I'm sure Korra did not get over what happened there so fast.

Still about Power Dispute we have another character who exemplifies this: Tarrlok. Tarrlok is a rising politician who uses  Korra as a pawn in his goal to seize the power of Republic City. Amon also uses the same trick, after all, the moment he defeats the Avatar, the city would be his.

So we have this young woman who will stop right in the middle of a political power dispute.

Tarrlok also serves as a comparative. While Amon wants to dominate and destroy the avatar figure, not caring about who she is, Tarrlok wants to dominate and use Korra. And this makes me think that, that metal box was made exclusively for her. Like if that shit was for Amon, he didnt know Amon was a bender so an simples cell would be good. I think Tarrlok knew that Korra may ruin his plans so he had that as his plan B.

In the end Korra lost the physical battle but won the ethical battle against both. But at what price? Amon was able to remove the bends of the Avatar. And without them, how could she be the Avatar?

I also strongly believe that one of the final scenes of the season, when Korra is facing a cliff, I believe she might be thinking about taking her life. After all, everything she was, everything she'd trained so hard for, had been destroyed in minutes.

She, with the help of Aang and the other avatars, recovered her bends and with the help of everyone, including her then boyfriend Mako, she "moved on."

In the next one, I used to hate the first half of book 2, but then I came to see with different eyes.

In that first half, Korra is unbearable. Everything she learned in Book 1 how to be more mature, less spoiled and all, was thrown in the trash and she was the same "child" of the book one only worse.

Until I stopped and realized that I was also unbearable and childish like this when I had my bad phases of anxiety and depression, as defense mechanism and keep people away. Returning to Korra, and if this way of acting of her was nothing more than this defense mechanism?

Whether or not she was betrayed by her own Uncle. Imagine, shortly after having your life turned upside down, when you are recovering, trying to recover your image as Avatar and suddenly your own uncle betrays you? Yeah.

"Oh, but she should not have stayed on his side against her father"

Yes, but remember that our, still young avatar, has fallen into the trap of believing and trusting someone just because that person says everything she want it to hear.

In the end, Korra again goes through a traumatic moment when she has her connection with past lives destroyed. We see how it affected her when she apologizes to Tenzin, through tears. And Tenzin, as the excellent master he is, tries to motivate her to face Vaatu again (now merged with Unalaq, her uncle) and so she is able to beat him and secure another 10 thousand years of Light to the world.

In the final moments, we see the (somewhat innocent) decision to reconnect the world of spirits and the world of men. And we also see Korra and Mako permanently end their turbulent relationship, which I will speak more ahead.

Book 3 begins in a more mature, we see all the characters being presented in a more mature way and it seems that Korra, now, has overcome everything that has passed. We have the relationship between Korra and Asami deepening as well, and I will also comment further on.

In Book 3, called "Change" we have a great sacrifice from Korra. Her life goes down a notch when she decides to save the new airbenders from Zaheer and the Red Lotus, the strongest villain she's ever faced.

Zaheer, unlike the other villains, who had not explicitly intended to kill Korra, had as goal just to kill the Avatar. And he almost succeeded.

Not only that, Korra was physically and psychologically defeated. She won the battle but not the war, we can say so.

So book 4 begins and we only come across Korra in the final minutes and she is unrecognizable. We see that, once proud and courageous avatar, in someone depressed and cowed.

I think it's visible that Korra is afraid of being the Avatar again, Toph even tells her that  during the season. And I think it's totally plausible.

Korra's fight against PTSD is one of the most honest and realistic things I've ever seen. Do you think that after a violent battle and almost die, even winning in the end, the hero returns home and everything is okay? I think not.

Not only what happened in the end of book 3 , but i believe that she also has having flashs or thoughts about all her fights and all the traumatic shit that she passed 

Another thing I think is worth quoting is that Korra took 3 years to feel safer and re-embrace her duties as Avatar. It was not 3 weeks or 3 months, it was 3 years. And anyone who suffers from some mental illness knows very well the stigma that is, the fight that is, because everyone wants you to be well in 6 months when the truth is that many times you spend years fighting against this. And this is a pressure that falls on you.

Imagine, seeing all your friends moving forward while you continue "stock in the same place"?

Only after Korra confronts Zaheer, I think that was a way to show her coping with the trauma, she improves to the point of returning to be the great Avatar we know. The once "monster Zaheer" who almost kill her now is some dude in chains who fail at his plans and created an big problem and needed Korra to solve it

One of the quotes that struck with me most was in that filler episode thats a summary of all what happened in the show , and in the part narrated by Korra she says "I was so naive" and the way Janet delivered that line..., with some pain and I know the sadness but at the same time, stronger and more mature ... I think it means a lot.

here in tumblr I think, I saw a phrase that until today marks me that is :

 "The Last Airbender is a story of a boy who becomes a god. The Legend of Korra is the story of a goddess who becomes a girl "

This is strong!

And I get very angry when someone comes to downgrade my baby Korra because she is such an incredible heroine and her journey is also incredible.

The story of how life can be hard and unfair, how it can hurt and paralyze, but there is always a reason to move on. We should always move on.

Korra is definitely not weak, quite the opposite, she is one of the if not the strongest heroine I have ever seen. Korra inspires overcoming.

Now l will let to talk about the relationships tomorrow. I promise 

[tumblunni]

Wow i had such a weird dream?? The story itself wasnt too unusual, just an emotional moment of an anime that doesnt exist, but the way the dream delivered it was really confusing!

The plot of this apparant anime was that there was some sort of ragtag group of monster people wandering the earth looking for a place they could belong without being hated. And i got the feeling here that they'd just found a place where things were going good, but the show's recurring villains appeared and revealed their secret to the town and now they had to flee again as everyone they thought was a friend took up pitchforks against them.

And the main focus character was really interesting? I dont think he was actually the protagonist but he got the focal role in this episode. Cos the monsters had to disguise themselves as humans to live in this town, and this was the youngest monster who didnt know how to do that yet. He had a really emotional struggle of pushing himself so hard to try and master this skill, because he was actually unique amoung the group for being a monster that was actually once human. So it was a combination of frustration at being a burden to his new friends, with desperation to finally see his own face in the mirror again.

And I feel like maybe before he became a monster he was bigoted against them and scared of them? Within the dream i recalled watching that other episode some other day, and apparantly it was super emotional. It started off just seeming like another 'we find the town of the day along our journey and meet some friends and/or solve a conflict' type thing. And this kid was mostly antagonistic through the episode, a dumb naive kid who believed everything negative about monsters and now struggled with the situation of being the only one who knew the truth that these guys are monsters but also now theyre doubting whether they should reveal it because these people seem so..normal?? And scared?? Starts to doubt whether all the other monsters executed by the corrupt church in their town were fully sentient too, and every time the 'nice' priest was teaching them how to spot liars he was really teaching them how to kill innocent monster people who were just as scared as the humans are of them. But the roots of gaslighting and abuse from this priest ran deep, so the kid struggled with the choice and ultimately made the wrong decision. Also i think maybe theres a reveal that the priest was actually their biological dad too, just for even more levels of why theyd make that wrong decision. And more reasons why its horrifying that the priest dad just treats his kid like shit once they outlived their usefulness. Im thinking something like the kid tries to make up for their mistake and save the protagonists but they get captured by their dad and like.. Ok holy fuck this dude is outright willing to murder his son and he's eminantly aware that these monster people are 100% sentiebt because he's using the threat of killing his son as a way to get them to lay down their weapons and agree to be recaptured. And then i think there was something super messed up when it was revealed all the monster attacks that happened to the town to get them so scared and paranoid were actually orchestrated by the priest as a form of control over his citizens. He had some sort of Ominous Doom Science to both turn people into monsters and control them to do his bidding. And like the predictable asshole he is, even after the protagonists gave up in order to save the kid he still killed him anyway. And after snapping his neck he threw him down into the prison cell with the protagonists and was like 'lets torment them by making them fight the kid they wanted to save'. Because it turned out he'd been doping the kid with a special dose of the monster formula ever since birth, and he was his 'secret weapon' all along without knowing it. Ultra super mega concentrated doom form of the artifical monsters he uses in his army, activated upon the moment of the kid's death. But then it turns out the ultimate experiment was too much for him to control and the kid was able to keep their mind in their new form, and turn against him to save their new friends. But when they realized what had happened to them, they broke down in fear. And everything was super depressing cos the protagonists knew this poor kid was now doomed to share their fate as monsters, and theyd have to take them away fron everythung theyd ever known in order to keep them safe. But also heartwarming at the same time because the kid had never known a truly loving family before, and as they passed out in the arms of main protagonist mom friend werewolf they felt like maybe this is what having a real family is like...

So anyway that led to a bit of an angsty team dynamic with this new recruit? The kid was obviously all new to monsterness and terrified of everything. But also even now they were struggling with that 'what if my abusive dad is right' instinct drilled into them from all those years. They still struggled with really believing that monsters arent evil, and like 'no i must have only disobeyed him because i was infected and i didnt know it, monsters are evil and i became one because i'm evil too'. Unwilling to believe that their dad did that to them and trying to find excuses where it would be their own fault. Maybe the kid was even tricked by another villain at some point who lied about having a cure? Like even whenthey became more able to trust their new monster friends they were still like 'theyd be happier if they became normal right?' Lots of angst and messing up and this poor kid feeling not only weak and useless to the team but also outright toxic to them.

So all of this led to this situation where disguising yourself as a human is a skill all the other team members already mastered and this kid is struggling real hard to accomplish it in order to save the day. Ans its extra depressing cos they havent seen their original human face in months, and theyre trying to cling onto the memories but scared they migjt forget what it was like to be human. And then i cant really recall all the details but i feel like the writing and cinematography were just super amazing emotional on this scene of the kid struggling to Do The Thing in time to save their friends, and like.. Atone for all their mistakes.

Also i think like the kid had this big super kaiju ultimate chimera form which was what their dad designed them to be, but also most of the time they were poofed into a tiny mascot sized version of that. And theycd never actually managed to control their powers enough to turn into their battle form willingly until now. Just this super depressing and also uplifting scene of this fuckin tiny monster kid being pinned to the ground underneath the villain's heel, trying desperately to turn human again to save their friends. And i think it was an awesome moment where they did manage to regain their old face for just a few seconds, but instead of actually learning to master the human transformation they learned to master their battle form instead. Like, accepting that that old face isnt who they are anymore, and it wont help like they thought it would. What they really need now is their REAL face! Some sort of dramatic badass speech about this that cuts the villain's philosophy right in half, and then a badass scene of tiny kid finally being able to control (and not be scared of!) their beast form, and fight the whole damn army singlehandedly to save their friends!

Also i think there was an extra emotional moment somewhere along the way where one of yhe villain generals was like 'no, stop, i want to see if they can do this', and actually started motivating the kid. Like i think they were a brainwashed soldier of the old priest bastatd who was sent to kill these monsters supposedly to avenge the priest's dead kid but they were actually starting to have doubts when this terrifying monster that 'killed them' seemed to act so much like a child. So this was the big moment of them finall believing the kid, and getting to see proof it really was them and the priest really was a manipulative evil bastard all along. So i think they switched sides and joined super powered up kiddo in fighting their fellow knights, giving them the keys to go free their friends. And possibly this knight person also joined the team after this and was the first proper human ally theyd ever had? And probably had loads of emotional plots of atoning

ANYWAY that was the cool really engaging story of my dream that i wish i could watch a real anime about!

But the weird part was that this was all delivered really fragmented cos of how little sleep ive had lately. I was seeing it in the form of (for some reason) laying down on the stairs at my abusive father's old house, listening to it playing on the tiny tv he had in his room. And you may have noticed i kept mixing up the kid's pronouns, thats because everyone in the dream was represented visually by a character from some other franchise and it was REALLY confusing! The kid was like an amalgamation of all the dudes from Wolf's Rain which i guess is where the concept of wandering monsters in human illusion came from. (Tho they werent all reverse werewolves like in that show) It was weird cos i knew this character was meant to be a child but they looked like five ripped teenagers smooshed together? Cos i havent seen that show in ages and couldnt even remember the protagonist's name. (Was someone called Hide or is that a guy from tokyo ghoul? I think they had the outfit of the tokyo ghoul guy.) And then predictably the evil priest dad was cornello from full metal alchemist mixed with my old doctor who had the same name. But less predictably the redeemed villain holy paladin knight guy was replica riku from kingdom hearts?? Ans specifically his medal from the app game, like he came with a floating medal attatched to his waist like a mermaid who was also a coffee table.

Also it just ended with a floating box of hair dye that turned to face the camera and it was actually coffee in a hair dye package. Like an exact replica of the blonding bleach i usually use, right down to every detail, but all the text was replaced with coffee info. I..i dont know what that has to do with anything else that just happened...

Oh also i think maybe one of the other teammates was a big cuddly 50-something circus ringleader type guy? He was the friendly comic relief but actually deep downn the most tormented of all of them. He'd been imprisoned as a circus attraction for most of his entire life and dressing up like a ringleader now he was free was kinda a way of coping? But yeh i think he bonded well with the kid cos they both didnt have much experience with being free and everything seemed new and scary. This guy also didnt have much experience of monster society either cos he'd been enslaved since he was a child. Man this anime sounds so fuckin intense and dark and emotional but also full of powerful friendship!! Why cant i watch any more episodes!! give me a sequel dream!!

[comicteaparty]

January 14th-January 20th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from January 13th, 2019 to January 20th, 2019.  The chat focused on Sunstrike and Bluemist: An Origin Story by ShaRose49.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Sunstrike and Bluemist: An Origin Story by ShaRose49~! (http://sunstrikeandbluemist.thecomicseries.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until January 20th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 3. Who do you think Kairo being a double agent for and for what reason? What are the organization’s goals? How does Kat and Evan’s training factor into the organization’s goals to the point it’s an advantage?

QUESTION 4. Do you feel the secret police are a force for good or a force for evil? How might Kat’s dad’s return to investigations play a role in the story, especially considering he’s investigating super-human traffickers?

DeNay

Kat is definitely my favourite character. Hey what's not to love? She's fiery, driven, sweet, and wild. And she has green hair... I love that she doesn't let anything stop her. Not the prosthetic leg, not the challenges of being a mutant, not anyone else's fears. She courageously stands up for what she believes is right.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. Why do you think Evan wants to keep his true self hidden, even from Kat? Do you think Evan will open up more as time goes on? How might his work for the secret police help or hurt him where this is concerned?

ShaRose49

I’m encouraged that some people really like Kat. She’s a real outlet for me

These are really interesting questions, some of them I haven’t really thought of

Idk if I’m allowed to answer a question since I’m the author, but I think my favourite scene so far is the scene in the bedroom

DeNay

I think Evan has a lot of pain and scars and he's afraid to open up and create attachments because he might lose them. To me he seems equally scared of getting hurt and hurting others. That's a theory anyhow.

And I think he will open up more, especially with someone like Kat around.

As for secret police..I think it will force him out of his comfort zone, and that's probably in and of itself going to be very good for him...can't wait to see where it all goes.(edited)

snuffysam

Favorite scene was the fight with the mugger. It was a great showcase of the two's powers, and also the mugger was kind of funny.

my favorite is dad. he's not perfect, but he tries his hardest, and i love him for it

ShaRose49

Awwwwww! That is so cool @snuffysam!

Usually people like the teens best so it’s refreshing to hear a different perspective but you’re totally right

@DeNay well you’re not wrong, but hiding your true self is probably more fear of what others will think if they knew his true self

@DeNay And yeah, his comfort zone is like a cage

RebelVampire

QUESTION 6. Do you think working for the secret police will be everything Kat dreamed of? What unfortunate obstacles do you think might interrupt Kat’s dreams of living openly as herself?

RebelVampire

1) my favorite scene is probably the bedroom scenes. if only cause shallow-ly, i really loved evan just walking through the damn wall. hes so dang casual about it that i can help but admire how normalized the powers are to them in comparison to other ppls reactions. 2) the dad because he walks that fine line between looking out for the kids' safety and acknowledging that they are ppl who need room to grow and become their own ppl. that honestly a really rare depiction that i feel we dont get to see enough of in comics. 3) i want to assume its for an agency that is trying to disstablize the use of things like secret police. and the advantage comes in that if they can show the secret police are dangerous and have super powered ppl working for them, they can convince others to shut it down. 4) i have mixed feelings on the secret police. i assume its a bit of both. the little guys just want to do good things for the world. but the larger entity has probably slowly corrupted or something. become riddled with office politics. something like that. i feel the dad returning to investigations is significant to the story since hes probably gonna find leads the kiddos are gonna follow. 5) i think evan wants to keep his true self hidden cause he doesnt trust anyone and kind of hates everyone secretly cause he hates himself. i actually think working for the secret police is gonna hurt with him opening up. cause i feel hes always gonna get into trouble doing with kat wants instead of developing as his own person and its gonna get overwhelming. 6) i dont think the secret police will be everything kat dreamed of XD cause i think kat is gonna find when an organization doesnt have huge oversight, bad things tend to happen. not to mention, i feel like she has this delusion shell suddenly be accepted with open arms by the world when more likely theres gonna be some levels of discrimination.

ShaRose49

I love how in thought out these answers are

Thought out I meant

snuffysam

yeah i think the secret police aren't going to be as rosy as kat expects. there's levels of bureaucracy, or she isn't allowed to be open the way she wants, or something...

ShaRose49

Well I guess we’ll see. I do think @RebelVampire is the most accurate when describing Evan’s internal struggle so far. And I love how many people favour the dad, Derek. And it sounds kind of like you guys think the Secret Police is like S.H.I.E.L.D. or something lol

And yes, while Kat is a beautiful gem she is too accepting to the point where she is naive and even clueless. But what else would you expect from someone who’s grown up kind of in hiding with no or few friends? It’s actually amazing that Evan is more cautious and less trusting, but to be fair he’s had some traumatic experiences with people, much more so than Kat, but I won’t spoil it

I didn’t expect people to think so highly of Derek I thought I was better at writing younger characters so thanks you guys🥳

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. In general, what tasks do you think Kat and Evan will be doing for the secret police? Do you think Kat and Evan will run into other people with abilities? Do you believe the two will be able to handle it, or will they be outmatched?

DeNay

Hmm that's an interesting question...

I'm not really sure what they'll all be up to, but I'm definitely curious to see. I'm guessing they will run into some other mutants down the road...although I can't really see them fighting one of their "kind."

ShaRose49

Oh reaaaally?

You can’t imagine the, fighting, say, a mutant SUPERVILLAIN??

I’m not saying that’s gonna happen this episode, but keep in mind this story has superhero themes

As for other mutants showing up this episode...let’s just say there may be a cameo

DeNay

Well, maybe I could imagine that... Sounds pretty awesome.

snuffysam

I'm not sure what the secret police will be willing to let Kat & Evan do at first. Because even though they are supermutants, they're also children. Maybe they'll be sent to deal with parking violations at first?

Delphina

Whoo, finally caught up with work, so I can read comics again! I'm really enjoying the family dynamic in this one and probably like Kat the most. She's very earnest and energetic about her goals, and I'm looking forward to seeing if the secret police will encourage that or just add layers of moral grey.

I'm assuming Evan's parents died in a tragic mutant-power-related accident that he blames himself for and he was trying to attempt suicide back there before Kat called out to help with her prosthetic leg. I would hope he learns how to overcome his feelings of guilt and shame, but that seems like a long road and I could also see him giving in to those dark feelings and becoming an antagonist. Too early in the story to really tell!

(The banner at the top with Kairo and Kat in the foreground and Evan's eyes menacingly in the background indicates the latter from a design choice standpoint though. )(edited)

ShaRose49

@snuffysam Parking violations XD I’m dying

@Delphina wow you are perceptive. Not 100% right but you’ve noticed a lot of subtle details

You’re really good at examining Evan

@Delphina and yeah, work’s been a little nuts for me too recently

RebelVampire

lol parking violations. XD somehow i dont think being children will make them go easy on them. cause they already didnt care about the children fact when they hired them. and if them being kids bugged them all that much thats probably when they wouldve decided it wasnt a good idea.

ShaRose49

I think you’re sorta right

ShaRose49

But technically they’re not hired yet they’re just in training

RebelVampire

QUESTION 8. How exactly do you believe Kairo ends up working with Kat and Evan, and what is the mess he supposedly gets them into? Do you believe they’ll manage to get out of it?

(the archive for the chat on MoonSlayer is now available~! https://comicteaparty.com/post/182104413735/january-7th-january-13th-2019-ctp-archive)

RebelVampire

7) i assume theyre going to be handling super powered ppl and perhaps other situations where the situation is easily solved with their powers. like evan's walk through wall ability could come in really handy for doing the sneaky sneaks. but i assume super villains cause this is why you get ppl with superpowers, to fight the super villains that regular civilians cant. as for their ability to handle it, they are 1000% going to be outmatched i think for a while. mostly because youth breeds arrogance and cavalier attitudes while their inexperience breeds clumsiness for lack of a better word. not the best combo. 8) i assume kairo specifically requested it, and im going to guess that the situation is them having to fight a super powered bad guy or something. cause for kids just starting out in the secret police, thats not a situation youd want to be involved in right off the bat. i assume theyll manage to get out of it though. just cause if they dont the comic ends cause everybody be dead.

ShaRose49

Yeah everyone dies XD

People who weren’t familiar with anime kept asking me why Kairo had no eyes on that one panel. It was a little hard to explain lol

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. Overall, how do you think being “superheroes” will change Kat and Evan, both in regards to their own personalities and their views of the world?

Delphina

Kat's been strong-willed and taking risks and doing things she's not supposed to because she feels it's right, so I expect that'll get her into a fair bit of trouble when going after bad guys is her job. Evan is less risk-averse, but also prone to being pulled into trouble by Kat. I expect their problems are going to get a little more complex working with double agents and sides may become more difficult to choose, but I'm curious where becoming less sheltered and open to the world about their powers will take them, since we haven't seen many other examples of how people with powers are treated in society. Is it an X-Men "everyone knows they're around and hates them" thing or a Superman "superpowers are rare and letting people know my secret will be a huge hassle for me"?

ShaRose49

It’s probably more like X-Men

And yeah, Kay and Evan have a lot to learn, but I think they really balance each other out, or they will eventually

Kat stupid autocorrect

snuffysam

i think both good things and bad things will happen to kat & evan due to be more open with their powers. but it'll end up with kat seeing the good side of people being helped by them, and evan will focus on all the people who look at them funny.

ShaRose49

Haha!! That’s so sweet

@Delphina Were you the one who came up with the Evan turning evil theory? I spent a few seconds scribbling doodles based on this. I think I scared myself

ShaRose49

I think it’s the last day, so I just wanted to thank everyone who took the time to read this comic and for chatting about it (and listening to me geek out). I also wanna thank Comic Tea Party for hosting this!

snuffysam

'bout 26 hours left, yeah. Thanks for offering your comic up! Discussing stuff has been really fun so far!

ShaRose49

@snuffysam Aw, thanks!! Yeah I’ve had so much fun too

Also, as for whether or not Evan turns evil...that depends on what you define as evil

khkddn

welp i showed up to this discussion late but nevertheless i have things to say that are pretty similar to what others have said

first off my favorite character is kat. i decided this when she was like "by the way, you disgust me :)" to that criminal in the beginning of the story. great moment! i also like her design a lot, and the comic's use of bright colors in general

kat and evan view their role in the world v differently and i don't think they'll change easily. maybe evan will come around to accepting that it's okay to be in the spotlight, but i think it's more likely he'll keep wanting to hide away and that'll interfere with their work. even if he doesn't become a full on villain i think he'll at least want to do his own thing

as for kat, i'm worried for her, because i always worry about upbeat characters lol. what if being a Hero isn't what she expected huh, what if it sucks at first? i think evan would handle a reality shock better than kat since he isn't that enthusiastic about it to begin with. but kat might end up being really disappointed until she can adjust.

i really hope evan doesn't turn evil (or, like... evil adjacent?). then turn into a sibling vs sibling fight and ahhh oh no ;_;

Beef Liver

I hope being super heroes won't change Kat and Evan TO much... I really love who they are!

@ShaRose49 Thanks for writing the comic so we could discuss it!

RebelVampire

QUESTION 10. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

RebelVampire

9) i think for kat she's going to learn that doing the right thing is less black & white than she wants to believe. and that sometimes ppl do bad things with good intentions. so playing superhero is complicated and not just this 100% awesome thing. and i think shes really going to have to come to terms with the fact powers dont make her invincible and that ppl can get hurt as bystanders. as for her personality, i think overall itll mature her and make her more conscious of how her actions affect others at the end of the day. as for evan, i think hes gonna have an internal conflict about his personal feelings on his powers vs. the world showing him he can make a positive impact. and so while not evil, i think its gonna make him super angst for a while until eventually he chills out and learns to care about himself. i also think hell learn some independence and that he doesnt just have to follow kat everywhere. 10) im actually most looking forward to more world-building. seeing things like how the secret police are generally regarded, how powers are regarded, who kairo might be working for, etc. i think these are some elements thatll really set the stage for the future for kat and evan.

ShaRose49

@Beef Liver My pleasure!

@khkddn I’m so glad you like the bright colours!:

@RebelVampire You’ll See more world building soon! Kim looking forward to it as well. And as for Kat and Evan changing, @Beef Liver don’t worry, they won’t change drastically right away. However I think they both need to change, perhaps especially Evan. We’ll see why later on

EhNeli

Evan is my favorite. I'm sorry I'm not very good at elaborating (I did terrible in high school english class xl )

snuffysam

One thing I'm really looking forward to is Kat & Evan's first day at the secret police. Just seeing how various people there react to their powers and stuff.

ShaRose49

@EhNeli no worries mate.

I guess I’m looking forward to drawing more of the awesome sibling relationship and going into depth with Kairo. If he doesn’t seem like an important character yet get ready...

@snuffysam I’m really looking forward to that too. I don’t think it will be too long from now (I less it takes me ages to draw cause of work or something)

*unless

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Sunstrike and Bluemist: An Origin Story this week! Please also give a special thank you to ShaRose49 for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Sunstrike and Bluemist: An Origin Story, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://sunstrikeandbluemist.thecomicseries.com/

ShaRose49’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/KadachSharon

[night-springs]

MARY idk if uve talked abt this before but what was violets relationship w/ julius like?? im super curious

KDSFHSDKF MICAH im so excited to talk abt this oh my god tysm….. also im so fucking sorry this took so long, i had way too much to say about it… ok so for context, violets canon playthrough order is vice kings > carnales > rollerz

…also, since its super obvious when reading this, i always wanted julius’ seemingly blatant distaste for johnny to have come into play in some form at like… any point in the series really. but since volition never went anywhere with it im taking it into my own lil gremlin hands

(background to this interpretation of julius)

in a word it was.. complicated. they were never close. when they met, julius was just looking for more recruits, the saints needed all the help they could get, but he thought he saw something in that skinny, terrified kid when him and troy saved her from being caught in the middle of a turf war. plus the kid owed him a life debt, and that aint a bad thing to have in his position. but, to violet… sure his speech about taking back the city to “save lives” was nice and all, but its not why she joined. she was homeless, starving, had nowhere to go and no options. she didnt even really have to think about the offer, becoming a saint just made sense. it was a step towards something, even if she didnt know exactly what it was, and so violet showed up in the churchyard the very next morning

from julius’ pov, violet took to fighting like a fish to water. capable, willing to do whatever it took, never talked back or questioned orders, and owed him their loyalty? to be honest she was basically the perfect little soldier. he thought this kid had a serious chance of being one of their key members… and he wasnt wrong. but in truth violet was terrified. when troy took her to buy a gun and had her kill someone for the first time with it, she managed to keep it together until she dropped him off and he was just out of sight. then she vomited all over the passengers seat of the car. the constant terror made it hard for her to sleep at night. a broken nose, bloody bandages over cuts from close calls with stray bullets, too many bruises to count and it didnt take long for her knuckles to become more scars than skin. for a while she was arguably more of a wreck than she was before she joined up

but at the same time, joining up improved things for violet. before this shed been sleeping in an alleyway, but now at night she could sleep in the church, and the other saints were friendly to her. then, when she got her first share of money? she went and bought herself a full meal and almost cried on the spot. soon, after pocketing as much cash as she could from dead rival gangsters wallets, she saved enough to get a loft right in saints row, and it was a shitty one, but she didnt fucking care. she loved that loft. from her point of view, julius was giving her the chance to save her own life. all she had to do in return was kill people for him. and she rationalized it to herself that way. if she had to kill other people to survive, then so be it

….and then violet began to realize how much of an adrenaline junkie she is, and holy fuck did she love to fight. if she had an opportunity to ditch the gun and just go in with a bat or even just her fists, she took it. the rush of risking her life became something she thought was fun. plus the respect she got as a saint? people were afraid of her, and she had anyone wearing purple on her side. the thrill, the power, the money, the loyalty… without her even really realizing it, running with gangs went from a means to an end to something that she enjoyed. but this change happens slowly, over the course of taking over stilwater. in truth, julius’ betrayal was what finally tipped her all the way

julius starts to hate her before they even finish off the vice kings. hed assigned her to helping out gat first, thinking even if dex was overseeing everything, their youngest lieutenant would need someone who could handle it if one of his crazy plans went south. but the trail of carnage and destruction violet and johnny left behind was the exact opposite of what julius wanted. he thought itd be over once the VKs were finished and he could assign violet to working with another (more stable) lieutenant, but after gat had taken that shotgun blast to the knee to help the kid escape and shed gone in alone to save him, the two were practically attached at the hip. the kid would follow gat around like a lost puppy, and the only person johnny spent more time with than violet was his girlfriend. then, once tanya was dead, he overhears a rumor that the supposedly mute kid could not only talk, but she would only speak to johnny or aisha. apparently gat had gone asking around if the kid had spoken to anyone else before him, and thats how everyone found out (gat was slightly offended when he found out violet spoke to aisha first, long before vi made that horrible hepatitis joke to him, and aisha had been keeping it a secret for her)

julius had never liked gat, he didnt care about ending the gang wars and was only there because he was bloodthirsty and lived for violence. and now he and the kid julius was becoming increasingly cautious of were feeding off of each others recklessness. not only were those two a volatile mix, but it seemed like julius was losing control of playa because of it… and that was bad news for him

johnnys sidelined, and banned from helping with any moves against the carnales and rollerz. julius told him it was because of his injury, which they both knew was a bullshit reason; hed been fucking up the vice kings just fine even with his messed up knee. gat did not take it well, and there was a shouting match that violet walked in on. vi was upset of course, her and gat were friends now and she liked running missions with him, but she wasnt going to argue. even if playa didnt understand julius’ decision, she didnt question him, but there was a lot of tension between johnny and julius after that, especially when it seemed like julius was actively trying to keep vi and johnny away from each other. anytime theyd hang out at the church, if julius saw them together you could feel the tension fill up the room, and more often than not hed just send violet out with some bullshit orders. the two quickly learned to hang out away from the church after that

by the time the carnales are history and theyre gunning for the rollerz, julius knows how badly he fucked up. thinking he could start a new gang, and control it? he was naive. theyd taken over almost all of stilwater, but at what cost? how much of the city had they destroyed along the way? and at the center of all that carnage was violet. the more of the city they take over because of her, the more disgusted she makes julius. he needed to stop the saints, stop her, but he has to do it carefully. if anyone realized it, or that he was trying to get playa killed, the gang would turn on him in an instant. the rest of the saints idolize playa, and they all know shes a big part of the reason for their success. if anything happened to julius, the gang would rally around violet, and he knows it

at first he was just sending her into risky situations because of the faith he had in her, but for a while now hed been sending her on straight up suicidal tasks on purpose, hoping someone would finally just take her out before she caused any more harm or became even more of a problem. but she just keeps coming back. doesnt matter if its just her against an entire stronghold of god knows how many seasoned gang members, shell walk out only a little worse for wear. julius starts to wonder just how terrifying this kid is, and all the while violet never even notices that julius is doing this, shes just doing what shes told. hes all praise whenever they speak, trying to keep her placated. troy notices the risks julius always seems to take with violet, but he just thinks julius is putting too much faith in the kid and driving her too hard. he starts trying to look after vi in his own ways to make up for it (thats how they become friends) but he never realizes julius’ true intentions until its far too late

vi and lin are flying solo now, with almost no help from the other lieutenants. julius makes it look like hes putting more faith in violet, no more kid gloves. of course vi and lin get in over their heads like that, and when lin gets killed and vi ends up in the hospital, julius wishes to god that she had just drowned in the river with lin

and then, soon after, its done. the vice kings, the carnales, the rollerz, theyre all a memory. the saints own the whole damn city, or whatevers left of it. and then julius gets arrested, and he finds out troy is a cop, and julius knows its all over…. but troy offers him a deal: get johnny and playa out, and he can walk. he gets the idea right there, to kill violet himself. theres no way shes going to stop, and julius knows it

violet knew driving over to the dock that she was walking into a trap, but if it was to get julius back, it didnt really matter. shed already murdered a major public figure and the chief of police trying to get him back, shooting her way out of another situation almost seemed pretty fuckin mild at that point. so it doesnt surprise her when hughes’ men surround her; no, what does surprise her is the sudden loud beeping, the confused look on hughes face, and something in her gut screaming at her to run. whether it was the wall of henchmen between her and the explosion, or the split second before the bomb went off that she used to rush forward and leap just over the railing that saved her life there, shes never sure. maybe it was both. either way, the burns scarring her back for the rest of her life show she didnt get off scot-free

five years later, and within 24 hours of waking up and breaking out of prison, shes already visited the police station and listened to the tapes. and once shes heard them, violet is seething. she did EVERYTHING for julius, became a murderer, risked her life, followed all his orders without question! and he took five years of her life away! tried to take all of it away! something in her just snaps, and she sets up the meeting with dex that same night

julius thought hed be meeting up with dex, but in truth he isnt surprised to see violet instead; hed been dreading the possibility of this day since he first learned that shed survived the explosion. but even so, even after what he did, it quickly becomes obvious that julius genuinely doesnt believe that violet will follow through with payback. and violet is livid, feels like somebody hollowed her insides out and theres nothing but anger under her skin anymore. despite everything he doesnt know her at all, still thinks shes this loyal little teenager who will do whatever shes told. a dog on a leash, because he never learned that she could be more than that, that she was more than that

and then, hearing him hold himself over her? violet knows who she is and whats she done, shes under no illusions about that. but hearing julius somehow think hes the good guy, that hes morally better than her after everything he did, everything he ordered her to do… it adds a whole new level of hatred. not to even mention how he tries to leverage saving her life over her again, after shed MORE than paid back that debt. thats the last straw, and she kills him. never regrets that choice for a single second for the rest of her life

after that, violets just… angry. shes like that for years. julius took everything good she ever had away from her, and every person she kills is another “fuck you” to his memory. gang member, cop, civilian, she doesnt care anymore. julius wanted to save the city from her? good. shell burn the whole fucking thing down just to spite him

she doesnt get over that for a long time

[foreverbettie]

Because: Meth.

For four years he had been my drug of choice. For two months I hadn’t seen him. I hadn’t heard his voice.

Oh, how I ached for him. Being away from him was no further from wrapping a noose around my own heart but I knew I had to run then. If I hadn’t, he was sure to drop the board from under my feet. My heart was dying everyday, begging him to show me a twinkle of love. Everyday, he denied me. Everyday, I came closer to taking my own life. I had plans in everyway you could think of. I swore to myself I would find a way for my kids to be taken care of. I was sure of it, as long as I didnt have to bear the heartache anymore. My son would live with his father and my daughter would stay with him. He didnt love me. He didnt need me. He didnt want me. I was merely there to care for the children while he fed his addiction. Without me, it was just the two of them and that sounded so much more like the life what he wanted.

I hated the thought of him there. With no one on the outside to talk to. No visitors. No money on his books. No money on his phone. He sat there with bare minimum. The longer he was there, the more my brain twitched and told me to save him. You did this to him, it would say. You left. You put him there. You took away the only things in his life that could truly save him. NO! I would counter back. He did this. He hurt me. He hurt us.  He hurt ALL of us and never did anything to help himself. He did this. I kept pushing that other voice down further into my stomach to dissolve anything that spewed a hint of of second guessing.

He wasn’t free, which in itself is a sad idea. From a birds eye view, to be locked in a cage without means to escape is nearly animalistic. Put into a much closer perspective however, he was more free than he could have ever been on the outside. The devil wasn’t able to walk so closely beside him. There was nearly no whispering left nor taunting of evil in his face. Freedom (as pretty as it sounds) in the hands of a broken spirit, turns privilege into power of self destruction.

Each day that passed I twisted inside knowing that he was the only man I had ever fallen in love with with every single part of my heart. All others failed to come close to anything that gave my heart exactly what it wanted. I thought I loved them but I always questioned. There was always a part of me that was unsure. Not with him. There wasnt a single cell inside of me that ever once denied it. So each day I was frantically sending messages from my head hoping they would travel through some magic beam passed the jail walls like: How long do you think I can keep this up? Why did you make me put this mask on? Why do I have to pretend I’m someone Im not? Why do I have to hide that Im missing you? Please, know that I love you. Please, know that I want you to come home. I hope youre sitting there thinking about me. I hope you’re missing everything you had that you never worked for. You were supposed to be my Knight. She misses you daddy. She doesnt want daddy to be sick anymore. She says ‘Daddy get better. Dont be sick anymore. Come home daddy.’ Choose us this time. Please please please…choose us. And each day I had to frantically remind myself… Because: Meth.

Little boxes of pseudoephedrine, Coleman, instant cold packs, lithium batteries, 2 liter bottles, paper towels, tubing, etc. Yeah I know how to make meth. Never tried it but I know how its done. In the beginning, I was naive. I never knew just how awful it was. I was the dealer’s girl and people assumed that I used too. It just makes sense that way but I was always clean. He jumped at anyone who would offer it to me and did anything possible to encourage me to never do it.

After the years went by though, I was so sick of it. In my head I was screaming vulgarities at the top of my lungs, digging my fingers into people’s shoulders and rattling their heads to the point of concussion. What are you doing? Stop! Please stop! Even if I had, no one would’ve looked up. Not even a blink. Theyd just pass the pipe and light the torch like the words I shouted were nonexistent. I was the television at volume 87 and the remote was stuck on mute. I had seen, touched and smelled more dope in my life then I could bear to stand. I had seen more people tweaking and doing the most selfish, hurtful, obnoxious and annoying things than I ever wanted to see. I didnt want to see ot anymore. Not even for one more day.

In there he was safe and his mind was free. Those were the two things that convinced my heart that he was at least okay. My head though, was still playing tug of war with itself. Until the time finally came when I said, I cant go on like this. I could never love another man.  I need her to see her daddy. I need to see my knight.

That Thursday came in like a flash. You would have thought I was going out on a first date. I wanted to look gorgeous for him. Give him a little reminder of what he’d been missing out on longer than just the couple months hed been away. A reminder of who hed turned away for years. I had to be careful though. Yes, I would look pretty but I had to be careful not to let him sway me into his trap. He could be so manipulative- a good side effect from using.

I stood in the elevator shaking, stomach in knots, trying not to puke all over my dolled up self. I stood there not wanting to love him, thinking about how every time that I had chosen him, he chose the devil. I didnt want it to feel so easy for him, to think I would simply just come back to him. I wanted to stick to my guns, to let him know that I stood firm in my choice to walk away. I told myself lies that I was only visiting him for my daughter’s sake. Maybe if I told it to myself, maybe he would believe it too.

If we could have sat there without speaking, my craving for him still would have been satisfied. I just wanted to look at him, to just stare at him and take in his presence that make me complete. But of course, he spoke.

He smiled at me the most joyful smile that I had ever seen cross his face. As if all the beautiful things inside himself that were lost in his addiction (aside from his plump cheeks) were returned. I cringed inside afraid I was going to break my character. Still, I forced myself to only half smile and try to look as if I felt indifferent to see him. That thick ugly glass between us, thank goodness for it. I would have kissed him and clobbered him right in the jaw at the same time.

There were new lights and doors and levels I was trying to build. New rooms with locks and codes. All of which in one visit, realized they were built with an unsteady frame. I could feel the laborers in my chest hoisting the wrecking ball up with the crane. They were prepared for demolition. Behind them were protesters. They chanted and held signs that read- Because: Lies! Because: Deceit! Because: Meth! The crowd was large and had some unpeaceful participants but the working machines were much louder.

When I reached the door to step outside, I felt the swing of the crane bring rubble to the site. The walls were going to come down and there wasnt a protester in sight that could stop it.

Because: Sobriety.

#meth #addiction #sobriety

[moriartysgrimmfairytales]

Post s4 feelings, and what to do with them

So, it’s been a week or so of hiatus. And I have feelings that I don’t know what to do with. So I decided to put them in a post, to maybe try and work through them. For anyone who cares, read more under the cut (fair warning, it gets long and rambly). 

I’ve been holding off on writing this post, writing about how I feel about s4, and TFP in particular. I’m still feeling a bit mindfucked, not only from the TFP, but from series 4 in its entirety. I’ve needed quite a bit of time to work through it all, mostly by talking to others and reading (both positive and negative) reactions and metas. 

During the last week, I’ve seen a lot of unreasonable negativity, and even hate, directed both at the episode and the writers. I don’t want to contribute to negativity in any way. That’s not where I’m coming from. I don’t hate this show, or TFP. I don’t feel angry at the writers, and I don’t think they owe me anything. I’m in complete understanding that this is their story and that they’re entirely entitled to take it in whatever direction they want to. I still respect Moffat and Gatiss as writers, and I’m still grateful to them for creating the only show and characters that’s been able to capture my interest to this extent. So sincerely, a big thanks to Mofftiss for making this show.

That being said, series 4, and TFP, has left me feeling bereft, wanting and a bit disillusioned. More surprisingly, I feel more than a little indifferent to it. I was, naively probably, hopeful that this series, and this episode, would finally provide me with some highly anticipated closure, wrapping up of loose threads and resolution of plotlines. It didn’t. It just didn’t give me what I needed as a viewer, and I’m a bit sad about that, for my own sake. The fact that it was loved by others, and provided them with what they needed is great. Well earned after the ride we’ve had.

What I did like about TFP and s4 So, Mofftiss decided they were going to do an “origins” story, showing us how Sherlock became the man he is when we meet him in ASiP, and his journey from a “great” man to a “good” man. That is actually one of the things I like about s4 and the episode; watching Sherlock’s progression from a “great” man to a “good” one. Getting to the stage where he’s finally able to embrace emotions as good and healthy, allowing himself to love, and have a family and friends.

I liked that in the end, it’s his ability to show emotions like compassion and love that’s key to solving the final problem. His newfound understanding of emotional context and insight into Eurus’ emotions is what makes him realize that threatening to shoot himself is the only way to get her to stop her game. The same way his own ability to show her compassion allows him to save John. I also liked that the show gave Eurus, the-villain-who-isn’t-really-a-villain, the best resolution she could get; the attention and love she obviously didn’t have as a child. And I really appreciated that Sherlock is able to give her life some sort of meaning by visiting her and playing the violin with her, now that she is ‘beyond words’.

Outside of Sherlock’s own growth, I enjoyed the new information and the insight we got into Mycroft’s character, a look behind the Iceman façade. And finally, the way the relationship between the Holmes brothers evolved, that was probably my favourite part of the episode, actually.

My problems with TFP On to the problems I have with this episode. Which are many… So while I liked the theme and the underlying message of the episode, I just can’t bring myself to appreciate and accept the wrapping it came in. No matter how much I want to. I feel that TFP kept tossing new plot points at me and didn’t allow me time to connect with the characters. It made the entire episode seem so rushed, so hectic, that most of all it just left me numb and unable to care about it the way I probably should (and I see others do).

First off, I’m not really a big fan of horror movies and dark, psychological thrillers. Which is what this episode feels like for me, most of all. I feel like we got off on the wrong foot, TFP and I. From the opening sequence and the set-up of Mycroft, complete with a scary clown and a little girl in pig tails, via the dismissal of TLD’s cliffhanger with a single sentence, to the point where Sherlock, John and Mycroft escaped an explosion unscathed - none of that even resembles any sort of reality I am willing to, or able to, accept. So already within 2 minutes I was shaking my head, frowining and going “wtf am I watching?”

See, I’ve no trouble accepting that this show is larger-than-life and that the characters’ actions and abilities are beyond real life. But I’ve still always thought of it as a form of “heightened reality”, somewhere at least close to what could happen in real life. That was part of the fascination with it, it felt “almost real.” Unfortunately, too much about this episode was too unbelievable, too fantastic, and exceeded my tolerance level for suspension of disbelief (I think maybe I used it all up when I had to accept Mary being faster than a bullet back in T6T…?).

My biggest issue when it comes to suspending dibelief, is that Eurus is made out to be something resembling a comic-book super villain. Her abilities are nearly magic and the Sherrinford facility is practically Azkaban. (The setting is another thing that made me feel disconnected from the show I know and love. I miss London!) That  being said, I know that most of the questions my brain keeps hurling at me about improbabilities and plot holes and -developments, can be answered quite simply. What’s happening is possible because Eurus wants it to happen. Because Eurus can make it happen. Because the writers decided that Eurus can do all those things. 

I’m just really struggling to feel any sort of attachment to Eurus as a character. To me, the fact that Eurus wasn’t even the lest bit foreshadowed, except for the cryptic “you know what happened to the other one” remark in HLV, made her feel like a random add-on. I couldn’t, and didn’t have time to, relate to her. In making her a full-blown psychotic, who veers between high-functioning enough to sneek out and play dress up with John and Sherlock and breaking down completely as the game comes to an end, it’s hard for me to deal with her like a real person and connect with her on any level.

I think a part of the problem is they didnt’ dedicate enough time to show me how Eurus did what she did. Mind control, manipulation and suggestion are of course real things, I don’t doubt that. But this set-up demands of me to accept that Eurus is so intelligent that she can do all of these things just by a short conversation with someone. And her abilities are so great that she has the whole facility reprogrammed, to the point where not a single person at any time is able to raise the alarm. Moreover, I’m struggling to get a grip on how exactly Eurus got those abilities? And how does a five-six year old girl become so evil that she tortures her brother and kills his best friend? That’s just too close to a horror movie to me. 

At least Jim Moriarty’s games always seemed within the realm of human abilities, because we know he spent years and years of his life building a vast criminal empire, making himself the spider at the centre of it, pulling the strings. Eurus apparently climbed out of the womb as an “incandescent, era-defining genious, beyond Newton”, because after being sent away from early childhood, I have to believe they didn’t supply her with access to an education, books, electronical gadgets etc? She’s spent all her life on an isolated prisoner island, her cell stripped, but still she appears to have endless resources. Again; I just have to accept she can use her almost magical, superhuman skills, because she can. I just wish the writers would have helped me along by showing me at least a little of how she does it, instead of just telling me she can.

The suspension of disbelief part aside, I think I would have been able to accept the secret sister scenario as plausible in this larger-than-life universe, if there had been some sort of build-up to the reveal of her existence. Honestly, I need more than a five minute set-up for the the reveal that Sherlock has a secret, forgotten, dangerous, revenge-seeking sister, who is smarter than her brothers combined. 

Since we didn’t have any hint of anything amiss until Mycroft’s cryptic “you know what happened to the other one” comment in HLV, I didn’t have any emotional connection to Eurus when she finally showed up right at the end of TLD. And show me a little more of Sherlock’s motional response to finding out his entire personality as a grown up is caused by a childhood trauma, show me a little bit of coming to terms with it before rushing off to Sherrinford. The lack of build up and reaction to the Eurus reveal makes the episode feel rushed. I think if the characters had been allowed to react and respond to the plot, the plot itself would have felt more plausible. 

Then there is the attempt to tie Eurus into Jim’s game, or him to her game. That seemed a bit forced to me. Jim was set up from episode 1 as Sherlock’s arch-nemesis (as he also is in ACD canon), and killing him off already at the end of s2 never made sense to me. I think the writers always planned for him to die in TRF, but then realized too late they should have saved it for later. So now Eurus feels like an attempt to fill in the gap he left behind. And it might even have worked, if there had been at least a few hints of a presence even bigger than Jim from the beginning. 

But there were no hints of foreshadowing. And to me, the way they retconned Eurus into Jim’s story only amounted to diminish the best baddie they ever created on this show. And the way they did it, they turned him into something of a bizarre fun house effect? I love the beach scene and his combination of power play, not having any fucks to give and amusing himself – but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to watch those pre-recorded messages without physically cringing. (With the exception of the last one: “Holmes killing Holmes. This is where I get off.” That one works, because it’s a genuine message to Sherlock.) Those messages seemed too cartoonish, too random, and drew my attention away from what were supposed to be tense situations of life and death. The real drama came from what was going on in whatever room they were in, not from Jim’s “tick tick tick”s or “choo choo”s. They weren’t even directly linked to the tasks Eurus set. I’ll never understand why the writers felt this was a good way to go. But hey, that’s just me. 

After this episode finally laid to rest the question of whether Jim’s dead or not, it feels like his character has been continually used as a plot device for future episodes. The writers have included him to tease the audience that they may bring him back, and to use people’s interest in him, without actually having any intention of brining him back. Ever since they killed him off in s2, they’ve tried to fill in the gap with villains that Sherlock every time claims to be even worse and more scary than the last. The problem is, I don’t have any of the emotional connection to them, nothing to make them as interesting as he was? To play around with the idea that maybe he’s not dead after all, keeping him in the story in various ways, only to confirm that yes, he’s been dead for real all along…? I was confused and saddened by how they chose to solve this plotline. 

I think the retcon they chose to go with for TFP lessens Jim’s impact and importance. In some ways, I’d actually rather they’d left him out of TFP completely. I mean, they’ve even said in interviews “…it only occured to us late on that we could do that.” So it was clearly not a part of a grand plan from the beginning. And now they’ve tampered with my ability to enjoy my favourite episode. Whenever they’re on that rooftop, I’ll be thinking of the fact that in some near past, Jim’s been at Sherrinford, talking to Eurus for five minutes, recorded some weird video messages for her and set in motion a whole other game. It just somehow diminishes the effect of that scene for me. I’m gutted about that. 

I know most of the big names in the fandom feel like it’s the best thing for Jim, and for the story, that he’s dead. I partly agree, and partly don’t. Because yes, Jim was always sad, desolate and lonely, and probably didn’t intend to live to reach old age. But on a very personal note for me, I want to and need to believe that even for Jim Moriarty there are things in life that make his pain bearable, things that are valuable enough to go on. I’m of course talking about his connection with Sherlock. I want Jim Moriarty to have some human closeness in his life (I won’t go on and on, I already did that in excess in another post). If anyone thinks holding this view means I’m doing Jim Moriarty and his arc a gross injustice, or that I don’t understand him at all, go ahead. I respect other people’s right to interpret his character and his motivations the way they see fit, and I’ll allow myself to interpret him the way I do.   

Okay, moving on from Jim (oh, how I wish that was truly possible…) The murder rooms scenario, the game Eurus sets up for her brothers and John. I just can’t (not on first viewing, not on second or third) get emotionally attached to it. At no point since the girl on the plane was introduced did I ever think she would survive (and haha, clever plot twist, turned out she wasn’t even real), and to be honest I couldn’t even care much about what happend to her, no more than I could care about the three Garridebs brothers being dropped into the water.

To me, Sherlock, John and Mycroft all seem too willing to just accept the rules of the game. That just doesn’t sit right with me, given how straight from the beginning it’s clear that Eurus won’t follow the rules of her own game. For god’s sake Sherlock, didn’t you learn anything on that rooftop? Villains don’t play by the rules. And Mycroft at least, who’s very aware of Eurus’ abilities when it comes to playing mind games, should have suspected that the girl on the plane was fake. But he didn’t, and so the three of them moved through the rooms as ordered by Eurus. The problem is, I didn’t really feel too worried about the outcome. The only scenario I felt slightly emotional about, was the one with Molly. Brilliant acting by Loo. 

So by the time they get to the last room, the “Holmes killing Holmes” scenario, my brain couldn’t stop screaming at me that they should all know that they have no real reason to keep playing Eurus’ game. I kept waiting for Sherlock and Mycroft to at least try to use their “deduction thing” to figuring out a way to get all of them out of the situation alive. There was literally not a single cell in my body believing Sherlock would kill anyone in that room. That lack of emotion got in the way of fully appreciating Mycroft’s heartrendering sacrifice, his efforts to minimize Sherlock’s pain in making an impossible choice. I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t feel what I was supposed to feel by this point in the story. And the fact that it’s set on a dysmal, isolated prison island also kept it from feeling real. I missed the backdrop of London, the presence of the other characters I’ve grown to care about in this final showdown. 

Summing up, I just didn’t feel the sort of connetction to the events unfolding or even to the characters that I should have. I had trouble accepting the premise, the plot developements and the characters’ (lack of) reactions in this episode. I wish I could say otherwise, and I hope that it might change in time. 

My problem with the show after s4 To me, the foundation of the series as a whole is starting to crumble after wathcing s4. After three series where they never really resolved plotlines, they’re still doing it. They’re still not giving me any of the answers I want. I get that this is a convenient way for the the writers to move on quickly, rather than spend time on resolving problems and half-told stories from earlier. It’s just that it doesn’t really work for me as a viewer. I am too attached to stories told, characters loved to just breeze by them and move on. 

There are still plotlines left hanging up in the air, half-explained, or that are dismissed and solved in ways that feel cheap. How was the scheme on the rooftop in TRF carried out, what happened to Jim’s body, what was Mycroft’s role in what happened, the circumstances around Sherlock’s return, how did he fake his own death, the too easy resolution of how he gets off after killing someone, his ability to just shake his drug habit whenever he sees fit, the reasons behind Mary shooting Sherlock, Mary’s death, John’s cheating, the connection between Eurus and CS, Eurus’ goal in playing dress-up with Sherlock and John, and finally the whole Victor Trevor thing… I feel like I’m forced to accept that they’ll keep throwing new plotlines at me, more fantastic than the last ones, to make me forget about the ones that still aren’t resolved or don’t make sense. That leaves me more than a little bit disappointed and exhausted. The more plotlines they toss up in the air, the faster they just keep pushing forward without resolving things, the more disconnected I feel.

The difference from before s4, is that I used to firmly believed the show would eventually address the unresolved plotlines and give me some resolution. S4 and TFP finally drove home the message for me. No, the writers aren’t going to wrap up thing’s I’ve been wondering about for so long. That’s not how they want to write this show, and I’m just going to have to make do with those half-explanations (if even that) I’ve been given and move on to the new plotlines. I know the writers can’t hold my hand every step of the way and that I have to fill in some of the blanks myself. It’s just that some of the leaps I have to make to move on feel too great. Mofftiss keeps setting up complex, tense, interesting situations, and then ends up doing nothing with them. As the writers seem a lot more interested in the next big plot-twist or rug pull, my emotional attachment doesn’t pay off in the end. 

So here we are, at the end of the road. Who knows if there will be a s5? My biggest problem is that at this point I’m not even sure I care if there is a s5 anymore. I’m still struggling to reconcile myself to my post s4 feelings. I’m a little worried that what I’m feeling most of all is indiffenrence. (She says, with a straight face, after writing a thesis). But I’m wondering, if this may in fact be where I get off. In loving memory of my beloved show. My beloved Mary. My beloved Jim.  

Time will show, I guess. In either case, I’m grateful to Mofftiss for creating this show. I enjoyed the ride for as long as it lasted.  

[destressjournal]

Ranking all (109?) DCOMS

Yes! It will be a challenge but I already ranked all 58 Disney animated movies, and once I complete more rankings, maybe I’ll start a blog/podcast about that. Who knows.

The easy part about ranking the Disney films was that each film was unique. The Disney channel films....many of them are pretty similar so I have to remember what each film was about. And this blog can be my way of writing those thoughts down!

So here are my rankings for the 10 first ever Disney channel films!

10. You Lucky Dog

I never heard of this film before i decided to watch all of these in order. And I think there’s a reason. It’s fucking weird. Someone must have been high or something when coming up for the premise of this movie. Like I thought it was supposed to be a movie like Beethoven or Air Bud, just a cute little dog movie about a wacky dog that turns a family up-side down. But no, it’s a dog...therapist??? That had the ability to channel a dog’s mind when he was 14, yet built an entire business based on that ability that he LOST and never got back....and people bought into it??? It’s just the weirdest movie and I really didn’t enjoy a grown man acting and talking like a dog throughout like half the movie. It was weird. I liked the dog. But the rest I didn’t like.

9. Genius

This movie was also weird....but it was better than You Lucky Dog. The logic and the plot points of the story just didn’t line up for me, and the main character was extremely cringey. I had to pause every 10-15 minutes because I literally couldn’t take it. His acting was great! But the lines he was given aren’t good. The story is also really weird, like he was lying about his identity, enrolled himself in middle school while being a college student, faking an entire personality and purposely failed most of his classes, tried everything he could to be in two places at once throughout the whole movie, almost killed everyone in the ice rink due to his negligence of his machine, all to impress some girl. None of the characters I thought were believable, not because of their acting but because of the dialogue and the story, it just doesnt make any sense. But at least it’s about a kid genius and NOT a dog therapist, lol.

8. Brink!

When I first saw this movie I thought it was fine, and then I sat with it for a bit and it got further down my list. There are parts of the story that don’t make sense to me, like don’t you have to compete in the invitational to compete in the championship? Cuz the main characters didn’t even show up and they’re still able to enroll their team in the finals?? And it’s supposed to be a national event of the best teams in the country, and these kids literally just stroll in out of nowhere with their dinky dog groomer shirts, can just sign up, and then beat all the professional sponsored teams?? So yeah, this movie loses points because the logic doesn’t line up. But I think the lesson is good, that who you are is different than what you do, and that your value shouldn’t be determined by how productive you are at something. The execution of that lesson is a little iffy though.

7. Under Wraps

The first ever DCOM and it shows. DCOMs will never be like this ever again! It was more mature and dark than anything we have today on Disney channel. That alone gives it some points. However, as a movie, it’s missing the connection you make with the characters. I just personally didn’t think any of them were interesting. The mummy was cute and funny at times, but sometimes the slapstick jokes and gags were a little over the top. Also, I just kept hearing Patrick from spongebob every time the mummy made any noise, and that ruined it a little for me. I know it’s the same voice actor lol. But I do like the touch that the main character’s mom’s bf are the same actor, making the connection between them a little easier. And at least the logic (pretty much) lined up for this movie. I might watch every Halloween, we’ll see.

6. Can of Worms

This movie was only SLIGHTLY better than Under Wraps. And that’s only because I felt a good connection with the main character, Mike. You can tell because I actually remembered his name. He’s a relatable character to me and his acting was very good. I have personally met people that talk and act exactly like Mike, and I honestly think his character represents someone on the autism spectrum very well (I’m autistic too so don’t get mad at me stereotyping). I’m not saying he represents everybody, or even me, just that I’ve met people like him before. His desire to fit in and be normal, and then later his desire to get off earth, was I think the most powerful part of the movie. He truly believed he was an alien from outer space because it made more sense in his mind than believing he was just different, because there was no possible way he could be the same species if everything he says and does is considered “weird”. I related SO hard to this, because it’s exactly what being autistic can be like. I was really into the first half of the movie, and then....the second half with the aliens was just dumb. It became a generic alien monster movie, with some tiny good parts sprinkled in. But the ending just didn’t make sense....mike still plays football at the end even though he’s not good and doesn’t like it....? Like he’s still trying to force it because he thinks “this is where he belongs”. Like you could have easily showed him building robots with new friends in robotics club (something that he’s good at and likes) and then hanging out with the rest of his friends after to send that message home. That you can usually find a place where you belong. So anyway, this movie is stuck in the middle for me.

5. Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century

Now we’re gonna get into the more popular ones. I think I would have enjoyed this so much more as a kid, but I didn’t grow up with it. This was my first ever viewing. The movie itself is pretty good, and it’s so interesting to see what people in the late 90’s thought about what the future would be like. Flying cars, computers you can hold in your hand, taking commercial flights to space, etc. but it was all still based on 90’s technology at the same time, it was really interesting. The biggest aspect of the movie that makes it lose points for me, is Zenon as a character. I like her, don’t get me wrong! But she hardly changes throughout the movie. Yes she learns to like earth but then at the end of the movie she’s happy to be back in space and that’s it. Now, I haven’t seen the sequels yet, but JUST based on this movie alone, I think it would have been more valuable to show her traveling back and forth, or say “Hey Greg, wanna see each other next week?” Just something to show that she likes earth now. But even then, that’s the only aspect of her that changed. All the antics she got in were justifiable, she was right the whole time. It was on everyone else to change to see her perspective. And I just don’t like when movies do this. I need characters to have reasonable flaws and learn to either accept them or change them depending on the situation. Also, this is just a little nit pick, but WOW that song at the end was so bad yet it’s STILL stuck in my head...they call this a rock and roll song yet I didn’t hear any guitar or bass. Even the drums were just kicks and pops made on the computer, that doesn’t sound like what an actual drum sounds like...It’s just a pop song. Call it for what it is people! The lyrics were good tho.

4. Halloweentown

I’ll probably get some hate for putting this at number 4, but when I was watching another review on a YouTube channel, they pointed out how annoying Marnie was, and now I see it. She’s not unbearably annoying, but enough to be like “wow, this kid is a bit of a brat. I would never talk to my mom like that.” On one hand, I see how she matured throughout the movie, so I think it makes sense for her to be a little obnoxious and naive, she’s just a kid. On the other hand, you’re supposed to like your main character and root for them, which doesn’t help if you think they’re a brat. I didn’t grow up with this movie either, so maybe that’s why I didnt immediately put it as number 1, cuz there’s no nostalgia factor. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t like it. It’s still a good movie that I will watch every halloween! I liked the characters and the story, and things seemed to flow together pretty well. The only reason it lost points for me, were the over-the-top gags. I get it, the movie is made for kids, and I always keep that in mind when I watch these, but sometimes it gets a little too silly for a movie about a dark overlord who wants to get rid of humans. Idk. Still like it though!

3. The Thirteenth Year

Okay, I admit it. This one is a guilty pleasure for me. I’m sorry. I feel like Halloweentown should be at 3 and this one at 4 if I want to be truly objective, but I have too many nostalgia feels for this movie. And I like that the tone is more serious and there aren’t any silly over-the-top gags. But that doesn’t mean this movie is perfect, it’s at number 3 for a reason. The last few times I watched this were when I was a kid in the early 2000’s, so as a kid I loved this movie. And I was also obsessed with mermaids and I wanted to be one so bad. This movie kind of fulfilled this dream for me, and other movies like Aquamarine and The Little mermaid. But anyway, after watching this as an adult, it doesn’t exactly hold up. Sam is kind of an annoying character who doesn’t add much to the movie. She’s just the popular girl, and another reason for Cody to stay with the popular crowd. She gives him a picture of herself as a birthday gift...? I think it would be an okay anniversary gift for adults who are dating, not kids. It just rubs me the wrong way. Also, the kid who plays Cody is not a very good actor...he’s just okay. Everything else about the movie, still love!!

2. Smart House

I grew up with this one too, and again, they try to imagine what a futuristic house would look like in the 90’s. And half that stuff actually came true with things like Siri and alexa, which is pretty neat to see almost 30 years after this movie came out. Still what kid wouldn’t want to have a giant screen on their wall showing something like a music video, the beach, or a basketball game. Every kid wanted to live in that smart house back then. The movie still holds up pretty well today, not because of the technology but because of the message and the characters. All of the actors and actresses were wonderful! The story is so sad but believable. I’ve never gone through a parent death, but I’ve had friends that have, and it’s such a weird dynamic when the other parent starts dating for the first time after. I can’t imagine what effect that can have on a young child. At least when my friends went through it they were at least in high school, if not, college. So they had a bit more understanding/maturity about it. But yeah, the kid who plays Ben rocked his part. Some tiny nitpicks include the house itself being somewhat outdated now, and the side characters presence in the film. They don’t have much significance, idk. The movie really tugs at your emotions, and is definitely the movie that got me closest to crying so far.

1. Johnny Tsunami

This was my first viewing, as I didn’t grow up with this one either. Compared to Smart House, which is honestly just an emotional roller coaster, this is just a good movie imo. It was more epic, it had more diversity, great acting, and a plot that made sense thematically. There wasn’t over-the-top slapstick gags, and I think it teaches good lessons about life. I honestly thought the grandpa was gonna die because that’s usually what happens to old wise mentors, but I’m glad it stayed away from that trope and actually brought him back for the end of the movie. I thought that was an interesting touch. Basically, while I was watching these I was thinking “okay this can be done better” “I don’t like this” “this feels too forced”, but with this one, I was just watching a movie most of the time. I honestly don’t know how it could be much better. It’s still not the best Disney channel movie ever (I’m guessing), and it still has some flaws. For example, the girl character was being such a flip flop throughout the whole movie and was being a little too mean to Johnny. Another tiny nitpick is when johnny’s parents are like “yeah we’re moving to Vermont” I was expecting a little more pushback from Johnny but he’s like “awww okay” and idk what to think about it because it could be considered out of character. Otherwise, this is a great unique movie that I will definitely rewatch in the future.

For every movie that I watch, I’m going to review it separately and that’s how I’ll keep track of my thoughts as I go through each film. But this is where I stand for the first 10 DCOMs. Unlike the Disney animated classics, I don’t know what my number one film is. Right now it’s Johnny Tsunami but that is definitely going to change. I can’t wait to see what my personal favorite will be! It may come down to several.