#so much all the time and i have PTSD and i need to just like. come to terms with the fact that there's shit i'm just not going to understan

[scrapyardboyfriends]

24 June 2025

[Keepers Cottage with Victoria, Fauxbert and Robert]

FAUXBERT: *Creepy Unnecessarily Overprotective Big Brother Mode Activated* Hey Vic. You look terrible. Have you gotten rid of our brother yet so that my marriage can be saved? Yes, it’s all about me. But you’ve got to be careful about all these violent psychos about-

VICTORIA: **Plot Victim Mode Temporarily Suspended** Hey, leave Robert alone. He’s got #Trauma and I’m going to support him. If you were the big hero you claim to be you’d want to do so too. Stop being such a #Problem

FAUXBERT: I am a hero thank you. To show you how much, let me get you some cream for that bruising. I mean he could have blinded you! #OverreactionAlert What about next time?! I hope there’s a next time so I can have a chance to save you. I haven’t gotten to do that yet. 

ROBERT: Uh there won’t be a next time. I’m sure this was just a single Plot point to show how damaged I am. I mean…we’re talking therapy here and I agreed. #Growth

FAUXBERT: No there won’t be a next time because you’re packing your bags and leaving so that my marriage can be saved! #CoupleGoals #DeadInTheWater 

ROBERT: I think you’ll find that’s my sister’s decision. She’s just been allowed by the Plot to care about me. I don’t think that will be revoked yet. So…suck it little brother. #TakingTheWin

VICTORIA: Yeah John, you’re just insecure because your marriage is already crumbling. But the Plot made Aaron choose you. Don’t you turn around and make me choose cause I’m firmly #TeamRobert today. He needs our help!#ILoveNotBeingAPlotVictim 

FAUXBERT: Help? #LetMeBeYourHero Vic, if you ever feel unsafe you just call me and I’ll be there. #ICanBeYourHeroBaby 

VICTORIA: *Eyeroll* *I Hate His Unnecessarily Overprotective Big Brother Mode Today Face*

ROBERT: *Who The Fuck Does This Guy Think He Is Face* #RedFlag 

[The Shop with Robert and Plotron]

ROBERT: *Caught off guard by the presence of my soulmate Face* Oh…hey. I wondered if the Plot was keeping us apart on purpose. #AreWeBackTogetherYet 

PLOTRON: *Restrained by the Plot Mode Activated* Hey I heard about your Plot with Vic the other day. #AreWeBackTogetherYet 

ROBERT: Oh yeah, I bet John couldn’t wait to fill you in on that. #RedFlag 

PLOTRON: The Plot wants me to believe that it’s because he’s worried about her but I feel like this is my Plot Blindness flaring up again. Sorry. #PlotVictim #PlotAnti But what happened? #LetMeBeConcerned 

ROBERT: The Plot is finally letting me have a PTSD story now that it sent me to prison for 6 years. Isn’t that great? I mean not great for Vic cause she’s got a black eye but you know what it’s like. You had a prison Plot. #SearchingForConnection 

PLOTRON: *Yes I do but I’m not allowed to really show you yet Face* I do get it Robert. I wish I could show it more but I’m not allowed to. Is Vic okay? 

ROBERT: I feel awful about it but she says it doesn’t hurt. 

PLOTRON: *Soft Robert Voice* And what about you? Are you okay? #ForTheFans 

ROBERT: *Still getting used to this whole emotionally vulnerable thing Face* No, I’m really not. 

PLOTRON: *God I wish I could hug you or something but the Plot has me in a straightjacket Face*

ROBERT: *Robert puts his foot in it…Shocker Mode Activated* I think it would really help for me to talk to someone who has also had a PTSD prison Plot. #AreWeBackTogetherYet #WannaBeMyTherapist 

PLOTRON: So…me? 

ROBERT: Well you do still know me better than anyone else. The Plot has made sure of that over the years. 

PLOTRON: See I would like to, love to be that person for you but for one thing, the Plot won’t let me and also if I let this emotionally vulnerable version of you back in at all, I will cave. And if I cave and I lose you again, I’ll literally die this time. So until the Plot lets learn to accept that risk again, this can’t be happening. I really wish you wouldn’t even bring it up because now I have to be mean to you and I hate being mean to you. 

ROBERT: But I’m really struggling here. The Plot has given me all these new traumas to deal with and now it’s taking my support system too? #PlotAnti 

PLOTRON: Don’t say that. I can’t hear that because now I’m gonna hate being mean to you even more. But Plot needs must. Now I have to break up with you again and tell you to leave the village you’ve lived in since before I was even born. Will that hurt you enough? #PlotAnti #PlotVictim 

ROBERT: Yeah that’ll twist the knife good. #Wounded I think I’m going to have to go have a random hook up to manage my pain and make you jealous now that the Plot has made you reject me so thoroughly again. 

PLOTRON: Oh great, I’ll start working on my *I don’t care about seeing my soulmate with someone else Face* now shall I? 

ROBERT: Perfect. The Hide later? #AreWeBackTogetherYet 

PLOTRON: See you there? #AreWeBackTogetherYet 

[The Hide with Victoria, Robert, Not!Aaron, Plotron and Fauxbert]

VICTORIA: *Protective Sister Mode Activated* I’ve been looking up therapists for you. I’m so glad the Plot has decided you can get therapy. #PlotFan

ROBERT: *I’m Broke Face* Well the Plot also saw fit to take all of my money away so now I’m poor and can’t afford it. #IMissMoney #NotMoreThanIMissAaron 

VICTORIA: I can help. The Plot lets me have some money. 

ROBERT: No, Vic. I have to be stubborn and do this on my own. Plus I can’t risk the Plot making you turn on me again. I like having my sister back. #SiblingGoals

VICTORIA: Me too. The Plot finally remembered that I love you. #SiblingGoals 

ROBERT: Oh hey look it’s my date, Not!Aaron. #SluttySummer 

VICTORIA: Is that a good idea? #MotherHen

ROBERT: It’s the best idea I’ve come up with to make Aaron jealous and move this Plot along. #AreWeBackTogetherYet 

**Awkward 6 years out of practice flirting Alert**

FAUXBERT: Hey Aaron, my creepy murder van has a flat, the Plot would like you to come here and fix it for #Reasons #UnwittingPlotAgent

**Awkward 6 years out of practice flirting Alert**

FAUXBERT: *Is that what Aaron and I look like together Face* #NoChemistry 

**Awkward 6 years out of practice flirting Alert**

VICTORIA: *Protective Sister Mode* Just checking in to see if you’re doing all right on your random hook up with this Not!Aaron person, Robert. I’m not worried at all I promise. #WhatIsThePlotUpTo 

**Awkward 6 years out of practice flirting Alert**

NOT!AARON: We could take this back to mine? 

***ROBERT ON A DATE PLOT SIREN CALL***

**PLOTRON APPEARS**

ROBERT: *Aaron’s watching Face* *Time to kiss this tall Not!Aaron person*  #HandsyKiss #RobronReunionPractice 

PLOTRON: *Not bothered by this at all Face* That’s tragic. The Plot really thought this would make me jealous? Hey John let me tell you how not bothered by this I am by pointing out that I told Robert to leave again because he tried to have an emotional conversation with me and I was two seconds away from having my way with him right there in the shop but the Plot had to go and intervene. 

**PLOTRON LEAVES**

PLOTRON: *Keeping my head held high so he can’t tell that I hate every second of this Face* #AreWeBackTogetherYet 

ROBERT: *Well that plan failed Face*

NOT!AARON: So…ready to go? #ReadTheRoomMate #TheresBeenAHeartbreak 

ROBERT: *I only want to be faithful to Aaron even when it doesn’t count Face* Actually no. It’s not you, it’s me. I promise. The Plot led me to believe that I could make my soulmate jealous by kissing you but that plan backfired and now I have no use for you. Thanks anyway, I’ll pay. #AtLeastIHavePlotMoneyForDates 

NOT!AARON: *Serial Date Rapist Face* Let me just use my handy pocket roofie the Plot supplied. *drugs Robert’s beer*

FAUXBERT: *Creepy Van Lurking Alert* *How can I use this to my advantage Face* #HoldingOutForAHero

***Time passes enough for Robert to be unconscious***

NOT!AARON: *Carries unconscious Robert to his own murder van* #EveryoneGetsAMurderVan 

FAUXBERT: *I’m a hero Face* Hey! I didn’t stop you from drugging him cause I wanted him unconscious but I’m here to do the absolute bare minimum here and stop you from date raping him. #BrotherBrowniePoints #TheBarIsSoLowItsInHell #NotAHero 

NOT!AARON: I don’t know what you’re on about mate. #ThePlotMadeMeDoIt 

FAUXBERT: Look I literally don’t care about you, so I’m going to let you go and continue your date raping ways because I like your taste in murder vans. #VanLife 

**NOT!AARON LEAVES**

FAUXBERT: *Puts Unconscious Robert into his own murder van* #VillainMonologue 

BILLY: Hey…the Plot wanted me to interrupt you. #NotPartOfThisPlot 

FAUXBERT: *How dare you interrupt my villain monologuing Face*

BILLY: Hey I want nothing to do with this Plot. So uhh..bye. FAUXBERT: *Continues monologuing* *Drives off* *Radio plays…All my clothes are brown. And my wedding beige*

UNCONSCIOUS!ROBERT: *Is Unconscious* #PlotAnti #RobertsNoGoodVeryBadWeek #SaveMe #NotYouJohn 

[maxdibert]

It’s been a minute since i read the books but didn’t the Marauders used illegal spells on their victims, there’s the guy that almost died because they increased or inflated his head too much. The only difference between illegal and unforgivable that I can think is that illegal has a way to be reversed, which doesn’t make it better! The marauders still used nasty magic to bully people but the double standards and their fan’s hypocrisy are never ending

And so is their illiteracy

The whole point of SWM is to set the tone for the seven years we didn’t see. It’s not a matter of perception or Snape’s biased pov. That’s exactly what the marauders were, why their fans never stop to think that if the assault was an isolated incident then the crowd would be in shock, or Lily would be surprised by James asking-bribing her to go out with him?

I mean, as if Rowling hadn’t made it crystal fucking clear that the Marauders were bullies. And not just because of what they did to Severus —which is already bad enough— but because Remus and Sirius themselves tell Harry straight up that James used to hex people in the hallways just because he felt like it. Like it was a casual hobby or something. And then, on top of that, we have official records —not biased memories, not Snape’s “perception”— actual school records stating that Sirius and James used an illegal spell on a guy called Bertrand Aubrey. Illegal. Not “questionable,” not “borderline,” not “a cheeky prank.” Fucking illegal. And if it’s illegal, it’s because it’s dangerous as hell. But of course, since they were the golden boys, the pretty ones, the teacher’s pets, they got away with everything. Always.

And the worst part? It’s the same goddamn pattern every time: two against one. Always ganging up. Always with numbers. Always with power. They knew nothing would happen to them, that no one would hold them accountable, so they just did whatever the hell they wanted. And still, even with all that evidence, people are out here saying it’s just “Snape’s biased perspective”? Are you kidding me? So what, Filch was sharing Snape’s hallucinations? Sirius and Remus just made it all up too? The school records were forged during one of Snape’s PTSD episodes? Come on. They just can’t handle the fact that the romanticized image they built around the Marauders falls apart when you actually read the damn books.

Honestly, these people either haven’t read anything properly or they’re so used to being spoon-fed by YA novels written like the audience has the cognitive level of a toddler that they can’t handle any subtlety in storytelling. It’s the literary version of the Nolan Syndrome: unless you explain something 40 times with dramatic music and a slow zoom, they just don’t get it. They don’t know how to read between the lines, they miss the tone, they completely overlook the fact that Harry’s horror when he watches that memory is the emotional core of that entire scene. They can’t seem to grasp that Rowling chose that specific moment not because it was an outlier, but because it was the norm. That wasn’t a “bad day.” That was the usual shit Snape had to endure. It was systemic.

So no, it’s not “in Snape’s head.” It’s on the damn page. It’s in the words of the very characters you worship. It’s in the school’s official records. It’s in Harry’s reaction. It’s embedded in the very structure of the narrative. But no, they can’t accept it. It kills them to admit their faves were the aggressors. That their beloved Marauders were entitled little bastards with way too much impunity and absolutely no self-awareness. But hey, if you need gifs and bullet points to understand basic storytelling, maybe the problem isn’t Snape. Maybe you just don’t know how to read.

[dept-of-monster-affairs]

Past, Present, Future

???!merfolk (Ko'loch) x f!reader

Word Count: 4968

Sequel to A Sea-Gift

Contains: pregnancy, intrauterine cannibalism, loss, potential triggered PTSD, talk of genocide, implied loss of pregnancy, murder, giving birth, transformation

The eggs grow inside of you, you learn of Ko'loch's past, and the sea provides a future for you both. (It gets dark, but I swear it has a happy ending!)

You sat in a shallow tidal pool, munching on starfruit and guava. The water helped to take the pressure off your gravid stomach. It had only been one moon since Ko’loch had laid his clutch in you, and the fertilized eggs would enter the larvae stage around the next new moon. Already, the unfertilized eggs had been absorbed by your body for nutrition. You didn’t know much about merfolk reproduction, but you did know that not all of the eggs inside of you would be born as fry. In fact, barely any would.

Similar to some shark pups, merfolk larvae would fight for survival in the womb. They ate the unhatched eggs and each other for energy until only two or three remained. It was one of those facts you learned when you were young that stuck with you. Ko’loch had confirmed it with excitement. Of course, only the strongest fry could be born; the sea was a dangerous place.

It was something that would have horrified you before this - a fight to the death within your womb. Yet, ever since being pumped full of eggs by Ko’loch, something had changed within you. You only noticed these differences within yourself when you were alone, reflecting on the past, and even then, they only came in brief shimmers of realization. There and gone in a flash like a darting fish. But after mating with Ko’loch, everything about merfolk and your situation just seemed normal, natural, like it was always meant to be this way.

The researchers at DoMA would probably say Ko’loch had cast a spell on you or that the eggs or aphrodisiac had rewired your brain. But what did it matter? There had been no sign of rescue for moons, just the occasional beach trash at the new moon. When you dove into the water, had you not given up on the possibility of returning to the human world? Had you not accepted Ko’loch’s claim over you? This island was your home now, protected and provided for by your merfolk mate.

Even so, you still kept track of how long it had been. Something deep inside of you, a shred of the person you were before this, needed to know how many suns and moons it had been since your arrival. When had you begun to think of days and months as suns and moons? When had you judged the time of day by the tide or position of the sun and abandoned translating them to hours? When had you forgotten minutes and seconds altogether? 

When did you stop thinking like a human?

“Sea-gift!” And like that, the shimmer of realization was gone.

With a mighty leap, Ko’loch launched himself from the sea across the rocks to the tidal pool, which was just big enough for him to fit. Pulling you into his arms, Ko’loch nuzzled your neck affectionately, pressing his lips to the scales that developed around your mating scar, his hands stroking your swollen stomach. “How are you feeling today, my treasure? Is the clutch giving you any trouble?”

“They’re excited today. I can feel them twitch more often than usual; they are getting strong.” You leaned back against Ko’loch, enjoying his gentle touch. Inside of you, you felt the small sparks of movement as the babes twitched inside their eggs. Ko’loch’s grip tightened as he felt the slight electrical pulses of their movements. He made his pleasured clicking noise, his tail splashing the water in excitement.

Affection swelled in your chest. Ko’loch was so happy to be a parent. He deserved to be happy after being alone for so long. Yet, there was that question again. One you had wondered for moons. Why? Why had Ko’loch been alone?

“Ko’loch,” you said quietly, knowing that this was a sensitive topic for him. Perhaps it would be better to start with a different question. “Is this your first time having children?”

He stilled. A long, silent moment passed before he replied. “No.” 

As he answered, his grip tightened on you, his claws digging ever so slightly into your skin. Reaching down, you placed your hand over his comfortingly. “What--”

“Please,” he interrupted, his grip becoming desperate. “Do not ask.”

You ignored the pain his strength caused and looked up at him. He was staring out at the waves at something long gone in the past. Reaching out, you touched his cheek. “Ko’loch, my protector, my mate, it is okay.”

He looked down at you. A hurricane of fear, sadness, and regret stormed within his eyes. His gills flared rapidly, his body shivering with panic. “Yes, I will protect you. I must protect you all.”

Gently, you turned in his arms, sitting up, keeping his hands on your chest and stomach. “I am here. Our children are safe. You have been my saviour. My steady rock. My safe shallows.”

Leaning in, you touched your forehead to his, holding his eyes with yours. “I see the storm within you, the chaotic waves in your heart. Let me be your shore. Allow those waves to break upon me and know I will still be there afterward for you to rest upon.”

Breathing in and out slowly, you held Ko’loch’s gaze until his body relaxed and his breathing matched yours. “You are magic,” he said with quiet awe.

You smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “I am your sea gift, right? The answers to your prayers. The sea gave me to you, so trust me, please. If I know, it will help me protect myself and our children.”

Another long moment passed before Ko’loch finally gave a nod. “I wanted to protect you from this knowledge, but you are correct, you should know. It is difficult for me still…”

“Take your time,” you told him, running your hands along his scales comfortingly. Sitting in silence for several minutes, you let Ko’loch work up the courage and means by which he wanted to tell you. Given his reaction, you knew whatever happened was traumatic for him, so you did not rush him. You merely lay there in the water with him, keeping in physical contact.

Finally, Ko’loch spoke. “It was countless cycles ago, when I was the size of a dolphin. My shoal was small and lived in these waters in harmony with the humans of this island. My mate and I had two children, six cycles old…I was carrying my mate’s once more…”

Ko’loch’s hand moved to his lower stomach, pain and sorrow crossed his face, before moving back to rest upon yours. “One sun, great canoes came; they were larger than whales, like a floating island that harnessed the clouds to move. The humans in them had shells that shone like mojarra. We were cautious but curious; the humans had heard tales from other islands about these great canoes. Sometimes, they brought strange gifts and sought to trade, while at other times, they left destruction in their wake. These ones seemed friendly. They had gifts for us and the humans. They said they were looking for medicine. Their chief across the deep waters was ill, and they had traveled all this way because they heard of the merfolk’s ability to heal anything.”

The moment that Ko’loch had mentioned sailing ships, your stomach had dropped - Europeans. You did not say anything, though, hoping he would find some semblance of peace by letting it come out naturally.

“We gave them some medicine from the depths that cures most illnesses, but it was not what they wanted…they…they wanted…”

“They wanted your tears,” you finished.

“More than that, they wanted us. To use whatever they could from us. They took the children first. They knew that meant we would not flee into the depths, that we would try to rescue them…but their weapons, wands of burning thunder and hooks that stripped magic from us.”

Guns and wrought iron. Your eyes glanced down at Ko’loch’s body. How had you not recognized some of these scars? A gunshot scar on his shoulder. Unnatural linear breaks in the scales from hooks being torn from flesh.

“They…there was so much blood…the sharks frenzied. They…” Ko’loch stopped speaking. His body shook, and he breathed rapidly once more as the memories and trauma took him away. You held on to him, letting him use you as an anchor to the present. 

“It is the past. They can’t hurt you anymore,” you reminded him gently as his claws dug into your skin in an unneeded attempt to keep you with him. Finally, his panic passed, and his grip loosened. “You don’t need to continue, I understand now. I am sorry I made you recall that.”

“No. No. I need to finish now. Stories must be completed once they begin.” Even with the statement, Ko’loch still had to take a few moments to work up the courage to restart.

“I do not remember most of the battle. Those of us who escaped retreated to plan a second assault. My mate…my mate had been captured rescuing me from the hooks. We could hear their cries coming from the canoes. Before we had time to rest and plan, the canoes summoned their clouds and fled. We were forced to give chase.”

Ko’loch’s grip tightened just a hair. “At first, we were able to keep up. Then they began dropping bodies into the water…our kin. The adults. Their fins were cut off. Unable to swim, sinking to the depths…I had my mate in my arms…but we were underwater, and our tears…there was no time to bring my mate to the surface…So, I gave my mate to the depths.”

A few tears ran from Ko’loch’s eyes, falling into the water and transforming into beautiful blue but useless stones. “But I still had my children to save. We caught one canoe…the others boarded, but I could hear my children crying out on another…the clouds pulled the canoes too fast…I swam for days, but I lost the trail…I failed them…”

Ko’loch stopped again. He was not panicking, lost in the trauma, but overcome with sorrow. He stroked your hair and body as a reminder that you were there with him. “By the time I returned, the others of my shoal were gone. The ship they had boarded was on the ocean floor, but they were nowhere to be found…I tried to find them…but the other shoals turned me away. They said I cursed because of what happened…So, I came back here and waited for anyone to return…hoping…and then the sea gave you to me after all of these cycles.”

He smiled down at you, a mixture of sorrow and happiness in his eyes. “And I will not let anything bad happen to you or our children. I swear it.”

“I know, you are the best mate I could ever want,” you told him, reaching up and giving him a gentle kiss. “Thank you for telling me, I know it was difficult, but it helps me understand you better.”

There were still questions you had. What happened to the eggs he had been carrying during the attack? What happened to the humans of the island? Where were the other merfolk shoals? But you knew now wasn’t the time to ask those questions. Ko’loch looked emotionally drained, and you didn’t want to push him too far. Now that he had opened up, you hoped he would again.

Nodding, Ko’loch reached into his net bag and pulled out a large snapper, already gutted. “Our children need more than fruit, Sea-gift,” he told you, offering you the fish.

“Of course,” you told him with a smile, taking the meal. “You take such good care of me, Ko’loch.” 

You bit into the meaty stomach of the snapper, your teeth tearing through the scales and raw flesh with ease. Cooking the fish didn’t even cross your mind anymore. 

The full moon was high in the sky. The larvae within your womb were restless. They weren’t letting you sleep tonight. In one more moon cycle, they would be born. You rubbed your taut belly, humming comfortingly to the larvae inside, hoping they would calm. Ever since they hatched at the New Moon, you had felt every battle they had within your womb. It was hard to tell how many were left, but for now, your stomach had shrunk. It would grow again over the next month as the surviving larvae grew; at least it was currently easier for you to walk around.

Perhaps a walk would calm them down. Carefully getting up, you waddled out of your shelter to the beach. The waves lapped at your feet as you walked along the beach, the moonlight letting you see in front of you with ease. 

After a few minutes, you heard a familiar large splash in the water. “Is something wrong, Sea-gift,” Ko’loch asked, leaping onto shore.

“Yes, the children are just restless,” you told him, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You did not,” he assured you, reaching out and touching your stomach. “I was gathering moon coral for the nursery. Would you like to see it?”

“I would love to. I think a swim would calm them down even more than a walk.”

Heading into the water, you wrapped your arms around Ko’loch, just as you had months ago when he took you to see the dolphins. He swam slowly so as not to upset the larvae in your womb. The journey was not too far up the coast, though. Then he dove down a good twenty feet before entering a small opening between some rocks hidden behind seaweed. It was just big enough for you and him to fit at the same time. Even so, he had to use his arms to pull forward through the tunnel instead of moving his tail.

After half a minute, the tunnel opened up into a large room. Ko’loch had decorated it with the glowing moon coral, providing light. There were also patches of fire seaweed that warmed the nursery water. The floor was littered with other corals, stones, shells, and more for the fry to play with and learn. 

Carved into the wall of the cave were images. Old images from the time of Ko’loch’s shoal. The largest of them all was a massive multiheaded merdragon at the back, surrounded by waves and glowing orbs. Compared to the other carvings, this one had been freshly restored. The carving had an almost religious appearance. Ko’loch saw your eyes on the carving.

“That is the sea,” Ko’loch told you, “The sea demands strength, but it gives the strong a bounty in return. Embrace the deep, and it embraces you. What you give to the depths will be gifted back in time…I know these to be truths. The sea gave me you.”

Ko’loch had given his last mate to the depths, and cycles later, he had a new mate that turned up in the middle of the sea. What else could you be besides the sea, gifting him a new mate? Ko’loch’s insistence that you were Sea-gift suddenly made sense. But of course, he was correct. You were his Sea-gift. Your life before this had all led to you leaping into the Rift to be with your mate.

Wait…that wasn’t…

A sudden jolt in your womb, and the shimmer of realization was pushed away. Taking Ko’loch’s hand, you pressed it against your stomach with a smile. He clicked with contentment. The clicks bounced around the cave, and you could feel the rhythm resonate in your flesh. Within you, the larvae squirmed some more. You released a small bubble of air as they thrashed excitedly.

Seeing your discomfort, Ko’loch began to sing. A most beautiful sound, long, eerie notes like a whale, but with a distinctly human tone. The wriggling in your womb ceased as the larvae calmed. 

Ko’loch pulled you against him in a gentle embrace. He held you like that for a long moment before guiding you onto his back. Returning to shore, Ko’loch hefted himself onto the beach to speak with you. “Did you like the nursery?”

“It was lovely, you have decorated it beautifully.” A smile came to your face before falling. The nursery. The safe spot in an underwater cavern that Ko’loch’s shoal had used and that he was restoring for your fry to live. A place you could not easily get to by yourself. 

“I recognize that expression. Why are you sad, Sea-gift?” Ko’loch lifted your chin and caressed your cheek lovingly.

“It is…Well, I feel sad that I will not be able to easily visit the children there. That swim is too difficult for me.”

Ko’loch smiled and stroked your hair. “Do not worry, Sea-gift. You will be able to see them whenever you desire. Trust me. Trust the sea.”

You were still unsure, but you supposed that was a trial for later. Besides, the children would grow large enough in size to leave the nursery after a few months. Everything would be fine.

You watched from the beach as the sun dipped below the horizon. Ko’loch was finishing the very last preparations in the nursery.

It was high sun the day after the new moon; at the full moon, your children would be born. Your stomach had swollen some more as the children grew, but it was still possible for you to walk around. Swimming was easier than walking, though, so just as you had in the early days when eggs were inside you, you spent much of your time lounging in tide pools.

Today was also the day that the Rift opened and new treasures from the human world were given to the sea. It had only been a few moons, but you had worked out what appeared to be the logic of that Rift. The location it opened was random in the human world, but it always opened in the same place here. Sometimes it was in the middle of the ocean, like with you, sometimes on a beach, sometimes in the middle of the jungle…but you were the only person it had ever delivered.

You used your nail to pry open a clam and sucked out the flesh inside while singing softly to your larvae. Then you heard something strange on the wind. A cry. A familiar call, but the words were unintelligible.

Pushing off the side of the tide pool, you sank behind an outcropping of rocks, staring down the beach. “¡Auxilio!”

Curiously, you watched as a two-legged creature stumbled along the beach. It was wearing cloth…clothes…how could you forget what clothes were? The person, that’s right, this was a human. How did you forget what a human looked like? Wait…you were human. Why were you thinking about humans as a foreign species?

“¿Hay alguien aquí? Hello!!”

Was this human a threat, though? It…she…she looked lost. You continued to watch her. What was she doing here? Had she come across the Rift? Was she another sea gift? No, no. She couldn’t be. She continued down the beach and saw the pile of food you had gathered. She ran forward and knelt beside the pile of mangos, guava, and clams. 

“Fuck yes,” she began to stuff her face with the fruit. Your mind flicked back to the pile of oysters Ko’loch had left you on the beach before you met. Stealing could ensure your survival; this person just wanted to survive.

“Hello,” you finally called out, still half hidden behind the rock.

The woman screamed and scrambled back. Your food fell into the tidepool. But the woman didn’t run; she stared at you in terror. A guava floated next to you. Picking it up, you held it out to her. “Are you still hungry? You do not need to steal my food.”

“You…you speak my language,” she asked curiously.

You raised an eyebrow. “Yes. Did you come through the Rift?”

“Oh my gods! Yes! I was jet skiing just off San Salvador with my boyfriend, and then like ploof! I was somewhere else. A Rift that makes so much sense! Girl…wait, did that happen to you too?!”

You nodded. “I was on vacation, then I was pulled through.”

“OMGs. I swear I thought you were a monster. Your hair is a mess. How long have you been here? Like, can I come in the water too? This looks soooo slippin’ I could totally see a swimsuit shoot here for my Nimbus!”

Without waiting for confirmation of her question, she entered the water. She swam out to you, clinging to the other side of the rock. “Yeesh, girl, I can tell you’ve been out here for a while. Your skin is awful! It looks like it is covered in scales!”

Tilting your head with curiosity, you touched your face. Scales? Your face had always felt like this…hadn’t it? 

“Ugh, and your nails, like girl, seriously, once the interdimensional rescue teams find us, I am going to treat you to a spa day. I know, don’t thank me. We are like totally besties now - trauma bonding, am I right?”

Leaving? You couldn’t leave. You had to take care of your children. You had Ko’loch. The woman kept talking. “But, you never answered my question, how long have you been here?”

You thought of the tree you had kept track of time…the project had been abandoned a while ago. But it was three and a half moons before you and Ko’loch mated, then it would take three moons for the larvae to be born. “Six moons.”

“Moons? Like months, you mean? Oh well, I guess you don’t have a calendar. But that’s a long time. How did you survive? OMGs, girl, you are gonna get your own movie from this! My parents know a guy who knows an enby who works under a filmographer in Atlanta. I’ll make sure it happens!”

“I can’t go back,” you told her. Something was rising within you; the larvae thrashed inside your womb. Protect. Protect your larvae. Protect Ko’loch. You could not leave Ko’loch. The waves were drowning out her words as she looked at you, confused. Then the confusion turned to horror as you swam out from behind the rock.

The woman stared at your distended belly. She stared at Ko’loch’s love for you with disgust and horror. A monster. She thought you a monster. You were not a monster but a mother.

With unexpected speed, you launched yourself at her. She was trying to take you away from Ko’loch. You wouldn’t let that happen. You belonged to Ko’loch. The sea gave you to him, and the sea gave you him. Now, you must give the sea something in return.

Your hardened nails and fingers, strong enough to pry open oysters, gripped her legs. You pulled yourself on top of her, pushing her underwater, a fearsome animalistic expression on your face. Your lips twisted, displaying your sharp teeth. Opening your mouth, you sank your teeth into her neck, tearing through skin just like you would a fresh fish.

Red bloomed in the water, and the coppery taste of blood filled your mouth. The larvae swirled excitedly within you. It was as though they could sense the blood and knew it was spilled for them.

The woman fought, her nails digging into your exposed skin. Your claws dug into her in return, slicing through her meat. More blood in the water, but the water was still. Her struggles ceased. You held her down for a while longer before letting go. Grabbing her by the hair, you pulled her to the edge of the tidal pool. Pushing her over the edge of the rocks, you rolled her body into the sea. With unblinking eyes, you watched the waves crash upon the human, then the body slowly sank. 

The sea had accepted your offering.

The full moon was nearly at its peak in the sky. You stood on the beach waiting for Ko’loch. He had just been putting the final touches on the nursery by gathering some food. He said he would see you soon. It was nearly time, though. You could feel the larvae inside of you waiting to leave.

Then you heard it…or was it felt? A low song that vibrated your body. Not Ko’loch’s voice. Something old, ancient. Bottomless. An abyss. It knew you. And you knew it. Dark Mother. Protective Father. Unknowable cradle of life. Silent graveyard of bones. The sea.

The sea called to you.

As a human, you should not have recognized its call. But Ko’loch and your children had seen to that. The unfertilized eggs and the blood of the fallen larvae had been absorbed by your body. The essence of the merfolk had changed you. Improved you beyond mere human.

Walking into the crashing waves, you felt the eddies of the tides ripple across your flesh, pulling you deeper. Gliding into the water, the moonlight sparkled off the scales that had developed along your backside. Diving below the surface, your now webbed hands pulled you through the water. Inside your womb, the larvae were swirling as though they knew that the time was almost upon them. Tension began to build, not quite pain yet.

The full moon light illuminated the water. You could see the sprawling coral bed before you as you swam toward the nursery. Even without the light, you would be able to find the path. Nursery, yes, but as a shrine as well, you realized. It was a magnetic tug along your spine that compelled you to follow. As you swam, the tension turned to pressure and then released. A contraction. A short burst of pain. But you kept swimming, you had to.

You passed through the opening to the nursery. Ko’loch was inside waiting. He knew you would come. He knew you had to make the journey by yourself. You had to prove your strength.

Ko’loch took you into his arms and brushed his lips against yours. “This will be painful, my treasure, but you have the strength. I know you do.”

The smile on your face turned to a look of pain as another contraction rippled through you. Working quickly, Ko’loch secured your ankles and arms with seaweed rope that was anchored to the wall. You would not have to worry about buoyancy now. Ko’loch hovered behind you, supporting your back and letting you squeeze his hands.

Another contraction. Pain began to radiate up your back and spread across your body. Another contraction. Your body acted on instinct. Human and whatever it was you were now. You began to push.

It was a boon, at least, that merfolk fry were smaller than human babies upon birth, but it didn’t mean that this wasn’t going to be a trial. You were strong, though. Your larvae, soon to be fry, were strong. And the strongest was coming out first.

Hormones flooded your body as the fry wriggled out of you. You gritted your teeth and screamed from your throat to keep your breath inside. Suddenly, soft, high-pitched clicks filled the nursery. Opening your eyes, you saw a small fry swimming around you. It was just a bit bigger than one of Ko’loch’s hands.

But you didn’t have time to appreciate it even as it nuzzled against you. Its sibling was coming. A small bubble of air leaked from your mouth as you grunted. You squeezed Ko’loch’s hands, your nails digging in as you pushed some more. Pain was radiating down your arms and legs, and your neck and ears were throbbing. Another set of clicks joined the noise of the nursery.

Even more contractions. More grunts, more pain. A third set of clicks.

“Good job, Sea-gift,” Ko’loch told you, utter thrill in his voice. “Three healthy fry. You can relax now.” 

He swam down and began to untie the bindings even as you shook your head. The contractions were still coming. Even more pain. You screamed, bubbles pouring from your mouth as a fourth fry freed itself. 

Your head fell back. The carving of the personified sea towered in your vision. The sound of blood rushing in your ears. No. Not blood. The sea. Your lungs burned. Empty of air. Your body reacted instinctively. Your diaphragm extended as you breathed in, water filling your lungs. 

There was no panic in you. The pain across your body began to fade. Water rushed across your sides. Your chest expanded again, filling your lungs with water. Water rushed across your sides as it filtered over your newly formed gills.

Ko’loch rushed up, grabbing your face, ready to press a life-saving kiss to your lips. Then he saw the transformations that the sea had granted you. A reward. For your offering of the human? For bringing new merfolk into this world? For something else? Both of you could only guess. Nevertheless, Ko’loch kissed you, not in a desperate attempt to save your life but in ecstatic joy.

“Four! We are very lucky!”

Suddenly, yet another round of contractions hit you. You doubled over in pain, and Ko’loch hurriedly swam down in utter shock. “Five! Come! The sea has granted a miracle! You are almost there, little one! Fight!”

With a mighty push, the fifth and final fry was born. “Five,” you tiredly muttered before chuckling. “Five.”

The five fry swarmed you, chirping and clicking, as they pressed against your skin. As soon as Ko’loch freed your arms, you swept the fry up in an embrace. Your attention was on them, and you barely registered the fins that had sprouted on your forearms. Ko’loch wrapped his arms around you and your fry, holding you all close. Once more, he had a shoal. You were family, and the sea had greatly blessed you all.

There were six new merfolk in the sea. Five fry and one former human.

I went back and forth on merfolk babies being larvae/fry or pups (pups are for live births) - I decided with larvae/fry since it is fishier! Fry is unique to fish, whereas pup is also and mainly used for certain species of mammals.

Also, I guess merfolk are a bit eldritch now haha. May have been inspired by Innsmouth just a bit.

Comments and reblogs appreciated!

Find more stories in my Masterlist

[wsancho]

YESSSS!! Let the juices flow! 👀

I don't think Sabin's reaction is out of character, but the heat of the moment is missable. He just finished fighting off someone who was close to him and was trying to kill him. Normalcy is jarring right after you've been in a setting where your survival is threatened. It takes time, space and mindfulness to readjust (soldiers get PTSD because they don't get none of that. I heard that the Roman Empire had a ritual of several days specifically meant to bring their soldiers back from "combat mode" before sending them home. Makes sense). This moment with Vargas is treated as if Sabin just stepped on a bug, but I take it as one of those things where all the emotional charge get lost due to lack of expressions and dialogue. It also makes it make sense when he overreacts with Ultros. I don't like his reaction but I see where it comes from.

Also I doubt the brothers have an inner narrative where the other is casting judgment (condemnation). But when you love someone to death and at the same time you witness them doing things that you utterly disagree with; you'll give them tough love, not treats or kudos (Sabin saying that he feared Figaro turning into a puppet state isn't exactly praising Edgar's work). I think of Sabin's reaction to seeing Edgar as that of a parent who sees their kid choosing a dangerous career path, as in "I love you and let you make your own decision, but as long as you go down this path I don't wanna hear a fucking thing about it". He asks Edgar what he's doing in Mount Kolts, but may be anticipating a very unsatisfying answer.

They let the other be his own self and they still trust each other blindly because at the core it's the same pure heart that drives both. That unconditional love is always there, untouched. But they take opposite extremes about how to solve the problem at hand, which undeniably causes conflict, but it doesn't break them apart. ❤️😤

I have theories about the unknowns you mentioned 🫡

The twins' shared flashback ends with the coin toss. There are some logistics afterwards that are never shown (because the flashback is about the twins' bond, not about logistics), mainly:

Sabin leaving. I think he leaves immediately, considering that he doesn't wanna deal with the people in the castle. Were there obstacles for him leaving? Not great obstacles, in my opinion. I think Edgar telling the priestess to leave them alone (and her understanding it as "get everyone to leave us alone") granted them enough privacy for Sabin to silently get out and people just taking it as "he's being emotional, he needs some time alone and he'll come back to his senses in the morning". I know of kids "escaping home" only to come back hours later because they didn't figure out the next step. 🫤

Revealing the decision to the other politicians. Edgar would tell them only after Sabin was out of reach. After this reveal it could get difficult for Sabin to make any move. There's the semi-canon Figaroan belief that twin monarchs are a good omen so the commoners, more than anyone else, would object to having only one twin ruling. I'm thinking that the politicians have their preference too, either for the one who behaves more like them (Edgar), or for the one who seems more simple-minded and easy to puppeteer (Sabin).

King's funeral. By Sabin's reaction of denial, I get that he didn't see his dad's corpse (and wouldn't wanna see it). If the show Six Feet Under taught me anything, it's that funerals are for the living, to give them closure and facilitate detachment. Sabin not taking part in the funerary rituals could contribute to this boy not being over his daddy issues ten years and lots of meditation later.

Edgar's coronation. Again, I don't see Sabin sticking around for this. At this point it's settled, whether Figaro likes it or not, there's only one heir, and it's much easier to get them to accept this if there's no other choice available. There's a fanfic that brushes on some Figaroan rumors of Edgar exiling Sabin to take the throne for himself. Awfully unfair and typical in these circumstances. 😞👌🏼

Sabin getting Duncan to take him in. In the flashback Sabin is just finding out about his dad and then that leads to him wanting to leave the place and expecting Edgar to come along:

Seems that Sabin wanted to be with his brother, nothing more. And he didn't realize Edgar had been preparing for his dad's passing. Sabin wasn't planning to go to Duncan's and bring Edgar along, he wasn't planning for his dad to get murdered and run away to train to avenge dad's death, or train to fight the Empire just because. My take is that in this moment he felt more pressured than ever and considered that this was the perfect moment to go for what they really wanted. I think Sabin's "plan" goes something like this:

Phase 1: Collect underpants. Escape.

Phase 2: ❓

Phase 3: Profit. Happiness.

He proposes the same thing that these fools did (probably would get the exact same result):

If you haven't seen this, it's a great film. It sucks.

There may have been a vague idea of that idyllic life, but not a real roadmap: spending most time in nature, answering to no one, doing only the the things they're passionate about; and since Gestahl started some shit, maybe one fateful day they'd be going to knock on Gestahl's door to kick his ass or something. Good stuff! Good wishful thinking stuff. 🥲

Wishful thinking, or rather the ability to take the mind outside the boundaries of linear thinking and logic is what I believe allowed Sabin to become mind-blowingly skilled and off-the-charts strong. He did not follow the predictable trajectory he was on (as a prince and as a sickly child), and once off the beaten path, anything was possible. This is one of Sabin's most important strengths, it contrasts Edgar's mind-blowingly strategic thinking and off-the-charts foresight. But in order to succeed they still dip their feet in the other's field: Edgar is not only doing diplomacy, he's secretly arming his nation. Sabin didn't go on a 10-year vacation, he devotes himself to a real life project after leaving the castle. I think Sabin only realizes the need to do something about the Empire after cooling down, away from the castle drama, dwelling in the loss of his family.

Sabin knows what Edgar is trying to do. He knows Edgar knows what's right and fair and just. Both boys think they know where the other's approach is lacking as they lack the ability to fully grasp what the other can achieve. But they do have enough respect to let the other do his thing while in disagreement.

Meeting again and being in agreement was unexpected but not a coincidence. Each went and perfected himself without the other's influence only to come back together in a moment when Edgar took an uncharacteristically dangerous stance while Sabin had been uncharacteristically subduing his eagerness in favor of his martial arts roadmap and to let Edgar's strategy play out. As all paths lead to Rome, whatever these boys do leads them to each other because the opposite life choices are external things, but on the inside, they're one and the same. ❤️‍🔥

And in the end they get to live how they want to; not for a season or a few years, but for the rest of their lives. Sabin's idyllic life (which both twins desire) can only be secured after both decide to play the long game. Edgar may have known this pretty early, but it'd take Sabin some time to see the full picture. 💪🏼👑

Figaro Twins’ Coulda, Woulda, Shouldas

On a previous post I wondered if the twins could have maintained communication during their 10-year separation. My guess is that they didn’t, given that the High Priestess doesn’t know what Sabin’s been up to; Edgar doesn’t seem to know either, and he’s surprised to find out where he’s been living and who he’s been hanging out with.

But Sabin’s initial reaction to seeing Edgar felt off. Too casual and carefree for someone who sees his beloved big brother for the first time in a decade. Even if they had maintained communication, this still feels off, impersonal and unaffected.

The brothers shoulda hugged and celebrated seeing each other but they didn’t. With the characters being who they are and without putting blame on the devs, how could this make sense for these boys? Like, WHY WOULDN’T THEY HUG, GODDAMNIT?! 😖🥺

When Sabin first saw Gerad he didn’t react much either. We can blame it on the good ol’ “platform limitations” and “time restrictions”, but I like to take canon as is and figure out how it could work in service of my personal, self-indulgent narrative that makes me happy 🧐

So my theory is that, as much as Sabin looks up to Edgar emotionally and intellectually, he doesn’t really expect Edgar’s diplomatic approach to work.

Before leaving Figaro, Sabin wanted to avenge his dad, but his rage completely deflates when Edgar puts the focus on politics, like everyone else in the castle. Sabin may have convinced himself that he’d have to do this alone, even against Edgar’s established diplomacy. Not only does Sabin know Figaro’s situation before Kefka’s attack, he knows of the Returners hideout (some gamers interpret this as “the Returners not being great at hiding”, but one can know, for example, that Edward Snowden is in Russia or that Osama Bin Laden was in Afghanistan; but finding them requires slightly more knowledge than that. Sabin knows exactly where the Returners hide). I don’t think he had direct contact with them, but seems he had been actively looking for the information, not just learning whatever came his way.

Sabin loves his big brother and wouldn’t go against him, which is why he waited for diplomatic efforts to fall apart, as they did. But until then, Edgar’s decisions are very much the same of those who let his father perish. Sabin might have mixed feelings about Edgar because they had been on opposite ideological sides (imagine if Edgar had replied “We're climbing this mountain to meet up with my guest Kefka and escort him to the castle” Yuck! 😒).

Edgar had been reacting a little more to hearing about Sabin and to seeing him again, but I believe he prevents himself from showing too much and tries to keep his cool at all times. Also, after seeing so little reaction from Sabin, he might have gotten the impression that Sabin isn’t as comfortable with him as he used to be, so Edgar keeps his distance and accepts whatever Sabin chooses to express; after all, he set Sabin free in all possible ways. He’s not conflicted about Sabin and is not trying to maintain the distance, he’s just respectfully passive.

Of course Sabin trusts Edgar’s intentions. I think he’s having a bit of “emotional jet lag” (like he just learned that his surrogate dad got murdered by his surrogate brother and then tried to kill him too, or something 🤔), but as soon as Edgar tells him that diplomacy went to shit and they’re getting ready to strike back, Sabin is onboard, driven and even excited; if there were any doubts, all dispel once he finds himself on the same team as his bro.

Then there’s the part where Sabin jumps into the river to fight Ultros. It rubs me the wrong way that he pushes Edgar aside and jumps anyway. Sabin is not listening to reason and he’s not really a team player here. He’s trying to protect Terra from Ultros, but it’s very much an overreaction and I think it has to do with his need to prove himself and his disfavor for Edgar’s more passive methods (and with Sabin not having been part of a team ever before).

Sabin coulda listened and stay put, but I think his detour helps build his character. Sure, he meets and brings along new people and new information about what’s going on in the world, and all those are very important things for the plot; but I see a subtle mellowing down of his temper. He’s separated from the group and can’t help to constantly wonder if his brother is safe (the English translation makes it about the group, but in the original he’s worried about Edgar). I think he knows he kinda fucked up. Things worked out fine, but he seems less impulsive afterwards and more willing to listen.

Knowing that Edgar cares and worries about Sabin as much as he always did, I can see why it’s a little jarring when Edgar doesn’t try to save him after the encounter with Ultros, especially because recently the FF6 Rom Hack, Divergent Paths, was brought to my attention (thanks @monk-of-figaro ❤️) and it had me thinking whether Edgar woulda jumped in like “any sane brother would”, to quote the mod. And well… I don’t think Edgar is a “sane brother”. He’s a righteous king and there’s nothing sane about that 🤷🏻‍♀️

Seeing Sabin float away hurts my feelings way more than the devs intended to, and I’m sure Edgar would fear for his little bro, like he probably feared for him for an entire decade (Sabin was a sickly and overly emotional teenager leaving home for the first time to go who knows where). But if there’s one thing that distinguishes Edgar’s way of ruling is that he makes the hard choices:

Observes his father’s poor health knowing that he’ll soon die an untimely and unnatural death. Edgar makes the hard choice of seeing his own powerlessness for what it is and accepting that all he can do is witness his dad’s decay. Someone sane would have been in denial of this and focused on finding the culprit and avenging his father. Instead, he went through the same emotional turmoil as Sabin, but quietly, alone, and in the course of weeks or months as his father’s death came closer. And this is how Figaro was spared from becoming another Doma.

Witnesses Sabin’s meltdown after the king’s death and makes the hard choice of giving him the freedom to remove himself from the toxic environment. Someone sane would have escaped with him or tried to talk him into staying, and Sabin would have probably agreed to it if Edgar guilt-tripped him or simply told him “I want you by my side”. But Edgar wouldn’t sway Sabin in any way, no matter how badly he wanted him around. Sabin was too attached to Edgar and could never define his individuality if he kept doing whatever Edgar did or told him to do.

And when Sabin gets his ass beat by Ultros and is at risk of getting drowned or found by the Empire and killed, Edgar chooses to stick with the program. A sane brother would have gone after him, but the mission was to keep Banon alive and getting him to Narshe for negotiations. It’s not only “game over” because you fail the minigame, it’s game over because Edgar has been a double agent for a decade and the resistance can’t fully trust him like they do Banon. For the rebels to be on his side, Edgar depends on having Banon’s trust (this isn’t stated anywhere, but it’s only logical). Terra was not a Returner then, she was still doubtful and Edgar never wanted to force his ideas on her (like Banon), so leaving this to her was not an option either. Losing Banon is losing all chances of saving Figaro, while losing Sabin would cause Edgar to lose his mind, an entire nation would still survive. The right choice is the hardest of choices and Edgar’s judgment is on point; as it has been since his adolescence.

Hell, even when Edgar proposes his idea to Banon and gets rejected, it happens to be exactly what they end up doing (in the English translation he proposes “to make magical weapons” but in the original he talks only about “acquiring magic of their own”). Who knows what Banon’s plan was before meeting Terra. After meeting her, I believe his plan goes something like this:

Phase 1: Collect underpants. Talk to Espers.

Phase 2: ❓

Phase 3: Profit. Peace.

Anyway, I’ve always wanted to see more interaction between the FF6 cast (still do 🥲). Fanworks do a great job filling in the blanks, as I’m sure the devs intended, but self-indulgence is a tradeoff that prevents from discovering character traits that are easy to overlook and can be difficult to make sense of, especially for characters who operate in a state of maturity or conditioning or emotional strain that is difficult for us to access or even begin to understand.

I love that Sabin is such a lively, honest and self-motivated dude, that he grows and learns exclusively by doing. He does, he fucks up, he learns. And he laughs out loud while at it 😁❤️ Ultimately that’s how true wisdom is acquired, only by experience (there’s no such thing as acquiring wisdom from others’ experiences, you only remember the wisdom your soul already possesses by learning about how others articulate and express theirs).

On the other extreme it’s heartbreaking that Edgar is so freaking talented that he can see where the system fails, and having both talent and power, it’s up to him and him alone to come up with real solutions. No other character in this entire cast could pull off any of this shit as smoothly. To paraphrase La Femme Nikita: “[...] because when you lead, we survive.” And Edgar knows this 😕

This is unfathomable for most of us. I’m nobody, so I get to sit on my ass and talk about what the politicians should do, and what the sports coaches should do, and what the movie directors should do. I also get to make mistakes and fuck up my health and my finances and my career and my relationships and my home, but no one else’s. And because I’ve got this luxury it’s easy for me to say what would have been. If the FF6 devs did things my way it would have been not the masterpiece that it is. Heartbreaking as it is, it tells the stories of these (fictional) people organically and faithfully.

[briony-tallis]

i did not care for josh/donna.

[wttcsms]

horribly short summary of what im trying to accomplish here, but if you were to read a fic featuring character, a soldier honorably discharged and is officially off the battlefield and yet he can’t seem to shake off the war from clinging to his body, and he’s basically a bit of a mess and feels incapable of returning to ordinary life and there’s you, the sweetest thing in the whole world, and he keeps trying to tell you he’s no good and you’re there to help him with everything (and it kills him a bit, to see you wasting your time to help him, and it kills him because he feels like he shouldn’t be the type of person who needs help) and !! just slowburn and falling in love and just read the tags for the vibe ok, who would it be for

[wackywatchdotcom]

woke up like 40 mins ago at like 4:30 unable to fall back alseep so im once again thinking about ragatha and pomni as The Ocd Havers. its everything to me. oh whoops i ran out of tags on this post

[ambyandony]

every time I draw pannacotta fugo in sketches he’s always just holdin papers n shit 😭

[clowningaroundmars]

i still cannot get over The Twins like.

imagine.

you have another version of you out there arguably living a life just as difficult as yours, if not more, that you can talk to at literally Any Time! and they're You so you basically already have half a convo down anytime you decide to pop on over via a portal

1610 and 42 stepping out of their respective portals side-by-side just to stroll out of an alleyway like nothin happened just going:

1610: LOUD SIGH

42: rough day too huh?

1610, brushing debris off of his shoulder: yeeep. another run-in with the rhino. again.

42: you didn't lock his dumb ass up like, last month? how'd he get out?

1610: don't know, don't care. so done with this week, i just wanna... i dunno. hibernate til spring 😮‍💨

42: man, what a mood.

1610: what happened to you? you look like you had a rougher day than me!

42, covered in visible bruises and cuts along with his bandages: mannnn... rougher week more like. well... rougher life. but. anyways.

they both nod at each other in Understanding

[milo-is-rambling]

I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?

[andragoras-in-vanity]

i know veilgaurd is absolutely incredible for gender reasons, and that it doesnt just let me have top scars but actually lets me acknowledge im trans in conversation like with taash and then when flirting with davrin (still dont know if im gonna romance him or lucanis yes, but asaan did cockblock me?????) but i do wish i could have gotten healing spells....although thinking about it now, because i wish i could have also given my rook my chronic pain/cfs, it makes sense i wouldnt be able to take healing spells, this is my new canon....(like either i get healing spells bevause i know pain and want to limit it for myself and others OR disability is disabling and im incapable of using healing spells since just like real life nothing eases this) anyway..

I like to headcanon that my rook DOES have chronic fatigue or minor pain because im an elf, but im also a mourn watcher, and it feels weird and wrong and unnatural to me for an elf to be living in the nevarra necropolis. i really love that being a mourn watcher has made me weird in conversation and just absolutely ready to let emmerich know how i want to be treated after i die, but nevarra is so dark and dusty, i have to wonder if as an elf being so close to spirits and so far from nature would effect me? so yeah, rook is screaming at all times and loves his home in the necropolis, myrna and vorgoth, the dead and the spirits, but leaving after the war of the banners helped him feel whole once he saw the forests for the first time, connected to his elven lineage (lmfao sorry bro), then he met varric who helped him get his top surgery. but it was the spirits and their lack of genders that helped him realize he also needed to do away with gender tho. i just really love my rook and this is the first time ive played a da game and not felt like i needed to run through it a few times to get everything out of it because i had to choose between male or female. also hes freaking adorable as hell.

[wackywatchdotcom]

realizing just how LONG its been since ive posted a ragatha comic. i need to do that again its been too long despite the fact that i think most of my best work wrt tadc has been my ragatha stuff...

hey wait wtf i posted this and tumblr deleted like the last 12 tags. what the hell . that sucks. maybe i hit tag limit and it just didnt tell me or stop me from adding more tags...

[impossible-rat-babies]

stormblood js once again the expansion I love 2 rotate in my head

[10moonymhrivertam]

Also remember how literally everything Sherlock talked himself through in the near-death-dream got subverted for Mary’s actual death? So there was a not insignificant chunk of people expecting her to come back again?

I mentioned this in the tags but yknow what I’m bringing it up to the body so forgive me repeating myself

Remember how 4.3 aired early somewhere (German dub? Russian?) and tumblr was kinda dead set that it was a red herring episode? Silly Internet this way everyone knows it’s not a real leak cuz it’s just so bad-type attitude. And then we got the same thing in English. And there was STILL a conspiracy theory about a fourth episode?

Also. Was gonna put this in the tags but nah it goes in the body too.

Can’t believe you didn’t even mention John beating Sherlock up in 4.2. That felt so brutal to me. But I guess it was controversial at the time whether that was in-character or fucked up? That with the grief and the repressed frustration of their whole friendship it made sense? Idk I just hated it being pained as fine as a whump-enjoyer who never got emotional resolution on the s3 torture. And. Yknow. That recent bullet wound thing.

John’s grief was really controversial in general. I know my bestie and I were. Very Unkind about Martin’s choice of noise to express John’s grief. Like I know irl grief happens all kinds of ways. But my dude. You had to choose that mooing noise? On top of the direct textual contradictions to Sherlock’s near death, it made it incredibly hard to take seriously.

Every so often, I remember that like 80% of Tumblr (myself included) was completely enraptured by a show where the big twist was that the main character forgot his childhood friend was murdered by his sister, and for some reason only remembers his childhood friend ever existing as a dog.

[ourceliumnetwork]

good news: the noises i keep hearing outside are NOT intermittent fireworks!

not as good news: the noises i keep hearing outside are RIGHT outside because it's the neighbors doing stuff again because it's the weekend