#so ummmm... this post got away from me..

[captaincrazycreative]

Litteraly everyone in this podcast knows WAY more than they're letting on and it's driving me insane

[astonmartinii]

day five: santa community service | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem single mum!reader

max swore in a press conference and now he's a mall santa with an itchy beard

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 893,092 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: don't swear kids.... on a serious note, i had so much fun meeting the amazing kids of amsterdam (and delivering some gifts)

view all comments

user2: ummmmmm who is that woman ????

user3: that's what you've taken away from FOUR TIME WORLD CHAMPION MAX VERSTAPPEN BEING A MALL SANTA IN PUNISHMENT FOR SAYING FUCK

user4: ummmm yeah she's snug as a bug in a rug in the back of max's car that's REAL FUCKING INTERESTING

landonorris: why no picture of you as santa... pussy

maxverstappen1: gotta leave some girls for you haven't i mate?

landonorris: well by the looks of the third slide you've already got a girl so it's free range for me right?

maxverstappen1: third slide?

maxverstappen1: OH FUCK

maxverstappen1: she's never going to speak to me again now

landonorris: well you've just sworn again so maybe you'll get more community service and meet her again

maxverstappen1: i'm not dumb i got her number but like now she's going to see this and think i'm a freak :(

landonorris: you'll have to whip out that max verstappen charm again i guess

maxverstappen1: life is a prison

user5: NO ONE POST THE PICTURES OF MAX WITH THE KIDS IT WILL DO IRREPARABLE DAMAGE TO MY OVARIES

user6: i need dad max more than air at this point

danielricciardo: what is this depression session in the comment section maximus - you're a catch even with the creepy instagram etiquette

maxverstappen1: i had to do so much work to convince i wasn't a dork while in a FULL SANTA COSTUME and now i'm not even at step one i'm at step minus 100000000

danielricciardo: that's not very christmas spirit of you maxie

maxverstappen1: life is unfortunately not a hallmark movie so like she'll be a normal person, see that i've posted a pic of her sleeping to my 13 million followers and run for the hills

danielricciardo: okay humble brag

maxverstappen1: DANIEL HELP

danielricciardo: i think you'll be just fine

maxverstappen1: well thanks for nothing - USELESS

user7: oh so max gets generational headloss in all settings

user8: he's so real for that tho

user9: if this doesn't sort itself out i pray for george russell

georgerussell63: ???

user10: he is going to take it out on you ❤️

georgerussell63: oh fuck

maxverstappen1: @fia get him

yourusername

liked by landonorris, user11 and 2,457 others

yourusername: went for the mall santa and met her hero, how will i ever top this now?

view all comments

user12: FOUND YOU

yourusername: this is very creepy who are you

user12: oh i'm just a humble f1 fan who watched max verstappen crash out over thinking he fumbled you

yourusername: fumbling me? has he seen himself?

user12: oh girl i've just stalked your entire account your face card is insane

yourusername: i do not know what that means

user13: YOU HAVE A KID ????

yourusername: yes?

user13: so we could feasibly get step dad max - DILF MAX?

yourusername: are you people okay?

user13: he's down bad for you queen you gotta get in there

yourusername: excuse me?

user14: WAIT - you don't have a husband right?

yourusername: no...

yourusername: wait why am i replying to you people?

landonorris: how did they find you first i put so much effort into my investigation

oscarpiastri: you annoyed max until he gave you her name?

landonorris: RIGOROUS

yourusername: you people have a lot of followers, what are you doing here?

landonorris: max is your daughter's hero and you don't know me?

yourusername: damn that's an ego

landonorris: excuse me ?

yourusername: idk maybe my daughter loves max because he's plastered everywhere in the netherlands - she watches the races with my friends

landonorris: we drive the orange cars

yourusername: oh she hates yall

yourusername: i might have to block you two

oscarpiastri: I DID NOTHING IT WAS ALL HIM

maxverstappen1: ummm hi!

maxverstappen1: I'M SO SORRY PLEASE DON'T THINK I'M A CREEP

yourusername: why would i think you're a creep?

maxverstappen1: NO REASON

maxverstappen1: so that coffee?

yourusername: okay .....

yourusername: i was going to text you but yk kids and she's addicted to the games and has held my phone hostage

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 702,300 others

tagged: maxverstappen1 & yourusername

landonorris: didn't leave monaco fast enough and now i'm stuck third wheeling - AND lola still hates me :(

view all comments

user16: CAN WE SLOW DOWN WE'RE GOING SO FUCKING FAST

yourusername: isn't that kinda their job?

user16: oh you gagged me there, congrats queen

user17: okay well now i'm obsessed with them and i need to know why lola hates lando so much

landonorris: she's a hater - just like her mother

maxverstappen1: y/n is allowed to hate you. in fact i'll support her in all of her hating i don't care

landonorris: i literally stayed for an extra day so we could all do something fun for christmas and HERE WE ARE

yourusername: i don't hate you lando, but i have to support my daughter in her dreams

landonorris: SHE SAID HER DREAMS WERE HER EXPLODING MY CAR WITH HER MIND

yourusername: LOL

landonorris: that is not 'LOL' that's attempted murder - i'm going to put your child in jail

maxverstappen1: woah lando that's too far

landonorris: and telepathic murder isn't ?

maxverstappen1: first of all it's telekinesis and second of all - lola can do what she wants

user18: oh boy he got attached quick

yourusername: this is nothing compared to lola

maxverstappen1: what? i love my biggest fan

danielricciardo: well fuck me i guess

maxverstappen1: yes

danielricciardo: max! y/n is right there (text me later)

maxverstappen1: oh wait ewwww

maxverstappen1: i meant get fucked.

yourusername: you can complain about third wheeling all you want but i'll deal with it if you keep taking these cute ass photos

landonorris: it's torture being an artist 💔

maxverstappen1: we also paid for everything lando, you can deal with watching your best friend being in love

landonorris: we're best friends ???

maxverstappen1: i'm your best friend - you're third at most

landonorris: ????

maxverstappen1: 1. lola 2. y/n 3. lando (maybe)

yourusername: awwwwww you're so sweet darling

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 14,859 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: i support the fia's wrongs because they brought you to me

view all comments

user19: okay miss girl this is cute but i will NEVER let the fia live

yourusername: oh this is their one pass, next time i'll unleash lola's telekinesis

user19: tell lola that we thank her for her service

user20: but please don't blow up lando please

yourusername: she said orange cars - sorry osc

landonorris: what about a red car?

yourusername: oh she likes charles so no chance

charles_leclerc: taste 💅

maxverstappen1: i guess i'll let them off just this once because i love you

yourusername: you're so generous

georgerussell63: wanna forgive me as well

maxverstappen1: why would i do that?

maxverstappen1: also we're declaring our love for each other do you wanna GET THE FUCK OUT

georgerussell63: lola is talking about blowing up f1 cars with her mind i don't want to be a victim

yourusername: oh she won't blow your car up

georgerussell63: phew

yourusername: she'll bite you in person

georgerussell63: CRIKEY

georgerussell63: well i guess you guys can go back to declaring love now ...

yourusername: thanks i guess?

yourusername: love you maxy, i'm so glad we met you

maxverstappen1: i love you more, i love having both of you in my life

user21: this was very fast but this is also very cute

user22: i think we gotta get lola on sky sports - maybe she'll bite the british bias out of them

yourusername: do NOT threaten her with a good time

yourusername: however, i will say, lola doesn't actually bite she's very well behaved and just has a bit of a feral way about her

maxverstappen1: but it's so adorable :(

hulkhulkenberg: so ... paddock play dates

maxverstappen1: WE'RE THERE

yourusername: that would make the paddock a lot less intimidating for me

hulkhulkenberg: my daughter also prays on the downfall of everyone but me so they'll have that in common

maxverstappen1

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 1,245,038 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: maybe santa is real ... love of my life was top of my list this year

view all comments

user25: idk about you guys but i've never seen him happier

user26: after this season i'm so glad the christmas break has treated him so well

user27: i can't wait for the rest of the grid to think he might let up now and then mad max get released first corner in melbourne

maxverstappen1: whatever i gotta do to get that winners trophy for lola

yourusername: this is the happiest holidays we've ever had, you've made my dreams come true and truly are the best person i'd ever want around lola. i love you <3

maxverstappen1: i wouldn't want to be with anyone else now, you guys are it for me x

maxverstappen1: now come downstairs i'm strategically placed underneath the mistletoe

yourusername: there's mistletoe?

maxverstappen1: .... the christmas fairy must of put it up ?

yourusername: you know you don't need an excuse to kiss me right?

maxverstappen1: hehehehehehehehehehe

user28: wow he's such a loser i love him

yourusername: he's * my loser and * he LOVES ME

yourusername: sorry that was rude

yourusername: but he's so worth showing off

maxverstappen1: i can't wait to show you off to the world on international tv - i gotta mark my territory

yourusername: as if i would ever look anywhere but at you

landonorris: fine! you guys are cute! i'm taking all the credit for connecting you two

maxverstappen1: and just how did you do that?

landonorris: i found y/n's instagram duh!

yourusername: actually @user12 found my instagram

user12: omg shout out

maxverstappen1: i also had y/n's number the whole time...

landonorris: CAN YOU GUYS JUST LET ME HAVE THIS? IT'S CHRISTMAS?

yourusername: you got us socks for christmas ??? (thanks tbf)

landonorris: ALL MY BUDGET WENT TO LOLA'S PRESENT I HAD TO GET ON HER SIDE

maxverstappen1: you mean the mini MCL36 that she's been glaring at since she opened it?

yourusername: i think she's practicing her telekinesis for 2025 ❤️

landonorris: FUCK

yourusername: she just wants maxy to win lando, you can't deny her that

landonorris: i can feel her puppy dog eyes through the phone

maxverstappen1: i'll do anything to win for her - ANYTHING. merry christmas xx

landonorris: that's so threatening

yourusername: that's so romantic

fin.

note: ENJOY

[fawnsflowerbed]

UMMMM NSFW MDNI OBVI!!! PRETTY PLEASE!! RAMBLING ABOUT A POST I FOUND ON X!!!!

ugh… it is EXACTLY how I picture Damnation - RE6 - Vendetta - Death Island Leon would be with you after a long trip. Like he gets back from an awful mission.

OKAY THIS IS STRAIGHT UP A TWITTER CLIP SO TAKE CAUTION BUT!!!! THINK OF IT!!!!

Man’s been lusting, starving, thirsting for his baby. You’ve been all he can think of. Every second, every minute and every hour has been spent wishing he was back between your thighs with your hips grinding against his face. He missed you so damn much. He can’t help but be slow and greedy about it, sure some of the pleasure’s for you but it’s mostly for him. Don’t get him wrong, Leon loves you. He’d give you all the stars in the sky if only he had enough spare time to count them, pluck them from the air with rough fingertips. But a man’s gotta eat after being away from his favourite meal for too long.

I think it’s especially older him cause of the pacing. This isn’t some pussy drunk rookie sucking on anything he could get his pouty mouth around, no this was deeper. This was stubble and sweat, whiskey lingering on his lips as he licks over them. This was calloused hands without callous soul looking for the one thing that could bring him solace. Pussy. Yours, specifically. Aren’t you lucky?

Your hands raking through the dark strands of his hair are what really get him though, he’s not even showered yet. He’s fucked up, bruised and battered, fresh scars littering the Band-Aid battlefield you’d newly set up on his bicep after the last time he got nicked. But he just couldn’t care less. As soon as he got through the door he was dropping his bags, placing a gentle hand around the smooth span of your throat and kissing you. The briefest signal of dominance, of love and affection and trust. Just holding your neck as he carefully drags you backwards into the bedroom, and that was enough for you to know. No words had to be spoken, not yet. And the only ones that dared leave either of your lips? Nothing but whispered comments of bliss. “Fuck, forgot how fast you fall apart on my tongue..”

Your head’s still spinning by the time he’s got your underwear tugged down and your legs tossed over his shoulders. Whimpered breaths shuddering from your lungs in timid gasps, with weak hands keeping him so strong through it all. Leon can feel the way you somehow manage to get wetter at the sight of his return. It’s flattering, really. Then again, so is the way your cunt twitches at even the idea of his cock. It has him chuckling at how impatient you get, even your body’s gotten pouty for dick. “Be patient with me baby, m’ not as young as I used to be.”

You didn’t have any time to ask him about work, or what hurt him this time. That was for another occasion, for long hot baths and replacing old bandages, forehead kisses and making dinner. That was to interrupt your domesticity later, to break the normality of a different scenario.

But here? Here he gets to forget he’s some stupid fucking agent. He gets to forget he’s anyone, all he knows is he’s yours. He’s back home, back with his darlin’, and back with said darlin’s perfect cunt spread wide on his tongue for him to lave on for the next few hours. What more could a man want?

[takimakiiiii]

“might sound crazy but it ain’t no lie, baby bye bye bye”

part 6! to the Cosmic Girl Records

summary: the gang goes to watch the new deadpool and wolverine movie. . . without you? oh no, that can’t be right.

ollie bearman x reader & platonic!grid x reader

all photos are found on pinterest!

warnings: swearing, nothing too bad this time lol

a/n: wow. this took forever to finally get out bc i started so many other fics 😭 but here it is, it’s a bit short but enjoy!

landonorris has posted on his story: 

liked by alex_albon, georgerussell64, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, lilymhe and 5,292,402 others 

landonorris: the gang is back 💪

tagged alex_albon and georgerussell64

view 11,482,493 comments 

 user1: uh oh, has y/n seen this yet 😬

|

 alex_albon: 😰 

|

 georgerussell64: 😰

user2: may the 2019 rookies rest in peace 😔🙏 

user3: rip lando he’s in for a mouthful 

 user4: why’s everyone freaking out 

|

 user5: just wait, give it a minute 

unfortunatelyy/n: MF???

|

 user5: and there it is. 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: UMMM WHAT IS THIS 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: WHAT HAPPENED TO OH I'M SORRY I CANT COME OVER FOR DINNER I’VE GOT A DOCTORS APPOINTMENT THIS FRIDAY 

|

 user6: OH NO. 

|

 user10: dawg’s dead fs this time 😔

|

 user7: LANDO RUN WHILE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE 😭😭

|

 user8: he’s probably left the country by now 

| 

 landonorris: 😀 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: PICK UP YOUR PHONE 

|

 landonorris: no. 

|

 landonorris: @alex_albon @georgerussell RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN 

|

 georgerussell64: YOU ASSHAT I TOLD YOU NOT TO POST IT 

|

 landonorris: YOU WERE LITERALLY THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO POST IT 

|

 user9: oop 🫢

|

 georgerussell64: i never took you for a LIAR 

|

 landonorris: @alex_albon you were there you believe me right? 

|

 alex_albon:  . . . ummmm

|

 landonorris: i see how it is i’m friends with a bunch of TRAITORS 

| 

 user10: how does it feel to be betrayed by your best friends 

|

 alex_albon: 😶

| 

 unfortunatelyy/n: PICK UP YOUR PHONE 

|

 landonorris: omg i forgot about you 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: oh you are so dead 

liked by lilymhe, charles_leclerc, carlossainz64, alexandrasaintmleux, maxfewtrell, danielricciardo and 23,782,883 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: whoever said revenge is best served cold clearly has never had chimichangas before 

tagged landonorris

view 22,682,692 comments 

user1: HELP SHES AT IT AGAIN 😭

user2: absolutely violated my poor boy 😔

user3: i fear he may never learn his lesson 

 landonorris: oh i hate you. 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: just remember, you did this to yourself 

|

 landonorris: i hope you 

|

 user17: bro died mid comment 

|

 user4: his pr team got to him before he could ruin his life 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: that’s what i thought punk 

|

 mclarenracingf1: 🖕

|

 user5: LANDO?! 😭😭

|

 user6: HE DID NOT LMAOO 

|

 user11: pr team probably took away his phone privileges so now he’s hacked into mclaren insta acc 😭

|

 user12: lando rn: 🤓💻

user9: the side eye goes hard 

 user10: HELP WHERE DID SHE GET THESE PHOTOS 

|

 user14: she’s probably got a whole collection 

|  user15: mission: steal’s y/n phone 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: 😓

|

 user16: HELP HAHA 

 alex_albon: can you send me that second pic 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: don’t even think about it, you’re next 

|

 alex_albon: 😨

|

 alex_albon: @lilymhe your girlfriend is bullying me 

|

 user7: alex albon confirmed snitch 

|

 user13: at least he’s not in denial anymore 

|

 user8: can’t do nothing wrong in front of this guy otherwise next thing u know police are at your front door

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

|

 lilymhe: do you deserve it 

|

 alex_albon: no?????

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: HAH what a little liar

|

 alex_albon: why do you hate me 

|

 alex_albon: no wait don’t answer that 

|

 alex_albon: wait i’m sorry 

|

 alex_albon: don’t embarrass me please 

|

 alex_albon: answer my texts y/n

|

 alex_albon: please y/n

liked by lilymhe, charles_leclerc, logansargeant, landonorris, georgerussell64 and 23,832,993 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: shhhh, my common sense is tingling, something you clearly don’t have 

tagged alex_albon 

view 11,482,399 comments 

user1: the deadpool references, she is not holding back 😭 

user2: dayummmm pop off queen 

user3: can’t wait till it’s george’s turn i just KNOW she’s going to use the 2023 intro pose 

 alex_albon: HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO APOLOGISE 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: @landonorris ?

|

 landonorris: do i have to 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: yep 

|

 landonorris: are you sure 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: YES 

|

 landonorris: fine.

|

 landonorris: she only takes apologies in cash no card 💅🎀💋 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: mhm that’s right 

|

 user4: HELP 

|

 user5: girl has homie in a chokehold fr 

user6: the second pic 😭

 lilymhe: what is that first pic 🤣 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: alex tried to steal my car so I ran him over 

|

 alex_albon: THAT DID NOT HAPPEN 

|

 landonorris: y/n doesn’t even have her licence 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: HEY WHAT DID I SAY 

|

 landonorris: im sorry 😔

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: as you should be 

georgerussell64: why do i have a feeling that i’m next 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: my goodness, he has a brain AND feelings would you look at that 

|

 georgerussell64: oh you think you’re so funny don’t you 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: i do actually 

|

 georgerussell64: 🖕 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: 😘 

|

 user7: they’re never beating the siblings allegations i fear 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: negative. i would rather die than be related to this child 

|

 user8: child 😭 i’m wheezing 

liked by landonorris, alex_albon, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, olliebearman, carlossainz55 and 6,923,749 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: you look like something i drew with my left hand, which is coincidentally my non dominant hand 

view 3,482,429 comments 

user2: I KNEWWW ITTTT AHAHAHA I CALLED IT BITCHES 

 user1: HELP Y/N WHERE DID U FIND THAT SECOND PIC 😭😭

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: dm me 😌 

|

 georgerussell64: nO STOP 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: whatcha gonna do old man 

|

 user5: OLD MAN IM WHEEZING 💀

|

 user6: so is george 

|

 user7: 😭😭

|

 georgerussell64: call in the reinforcements @landonlrris @alex_albon

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: AHAHAHAHAHHA 

|

 georgerussell64: why are you laughing . . .  guys? guys where are you 

|  unfortunatelyy/n: their loyalty lies with me peasant 

|

 georgerussell64: i can never win around here

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: im glad you’ve come to terms with that 

|

 georgerussell64: OH YOU SUCK 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: that’s what you get for being an ass 

|

 georgerussell64: IT WAS LANDO’S IDEA 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: GASP

| 

 unfortunatelyy/n: WHAT 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: jk i already know 

|

 user6: HELP 😭

|

 georgerussell64: then why are u getting mad at me 😭

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: cuz you’re fun to bully 

|

 georgerussell64: blocked and reported 🛑

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: its ok you’re not the first 

|

 landonorris: she’s right 😐

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: ugliness rears it’s head once again 

|

 landonorris: oh you are the worst 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: 😘

a/n: tysm if you got to the end, have an amazing day xoxo santanasaintmendes

taglist: @ilivbullyingjeongin

[talkingaboutmybullshit]

quick unedited thing i wrote after i saw a bitches love me tiktok about Tim in the 90s. And kinda a response to a lot of fandom tim thinking he’s a loser that hasn’t dated or slept with anyone when canonically he’s had like 20 live interests.

“Why are you asking boy Virgin over here?” Jason said

“Jason don’t be mean,” Dick chided

“What because it’s true,” Jason flipped Dick off

Tim couldn’t hold back a snort.

“Why the hell are you laughing like you’ve gotten laid ever in your life?”

“Did you forget that him and Steph dated for a year,”

“I don’t think I was there for that? Is that why she hangs out around us because she dated the shrimp? She’s to cool for him.”

Tim made a so so motion with his hand “Officially for like a year ish. Then we kinda had this on and off thing for a few years after that. Though she wasn’t the only girl I got with during that time. I was actually dating another girl when I first got with Steph,”

“How the hell did you get not one but two girls interested in you?” Jason asked “How the hell did you even have time for that?”

“Look when I was Robin and in high school I had a lot more extra time than I have now,” Tim explained and then scrunched up his face at the memories “and that wasn’t one of my proudest moments,”

“Honestly I don’t know how you can even keep track of how many people you been with,” Dick rolled his eyes “I swear you were talking to another girl every week before you got with Bernard,”

“Oh I got a spread sheet,” Tim answered non chalently

“You got a whole ass spread sheet?!?” Jason said

“Yeah,” Tim at least looked sheepish

“Why?” Jason ask

“Well back in high school me and my friends were talking-“

“You have friends?” Jason asked

“Well back in high school at least I had a decent amount. Then I dropped out and went around the world looking for B. I kinda got out of touched with them. You know the normal post high school kinda stuff,”

“Totally,” Said the guy who died Freshman year of high school

“Anyways,” he rolled his eyes “They were asking me how many girls i slept with and honestly I didn’t know off the top of my head. So I went home, started a list. Then that kinda morphed into a spread sheet because that’s easier to manage than like a google doc. Then I was like well I have a spread sheet I can document like umm,” he looked away trying to figure out how best way to say it without being to crass “bases and stuff I got to. Then I kinda just kept up with it over the years. Started a guys data section too since bases work a little differently and-“

“You’re a freak, of course you have a spreadsheet about your sex life,” Jason said “forget I said anything and never answer questions about sex again,”

“Gladly,” Tim shakes his head wanting this whole thing to be over

“I’m surprised you didn’t know this,” Dick said “Not the spread sheet thing but Tim ummmm…”

“Apparently getting with everything that moves,” Jason answered

“Yeah that,”

“Hey!” Tim objected “I do not. Plus I think the worse of it was when Jason wasn’t around. I had more time when I was young,”

“Dude you’re still like 20,”

“Plus I got a boyfriend now so I’m settled downed. I’m busy with work and being a vigilante,”

“Never stopped you before,”

Tim cringed at that “ok high school me wasn’t the best but-“

“When the fuck did you get a boyfriend,” Jason, who just had his twentieth revelation about Tim that hour, asked

“Oh a while ago when I rescued him from this pain cult,” Tim waved him off “we were friends in high school and reconnected after that. Really I think he brings out the best in me-“

“Meaning he hasn’t gotten bored yet from a lack of adrenaline and gone on to the next person who catches his eye,”

Tim huffed “I do not want to hear any slander from the guy who fumbled Starfire,��

“You fumbled Superboy,” Dick said

“When did you even get Superboy?” Jason exacerbated by Tim’s way to messy love life. Maybe the spread sheet was necessary. Jason at least needed a time line to get this straight.

“There was nothing even going on there!” Tim said

Dick turned to Jason to answer this question “Superboy was Tim’s first gay situation ship,”

“Was not!” Tim fought back

Jason groaned accepting he opened Pandora’s box of Tim’s messy love life.

[star-lights-up]

yo i just found a giant ~2000 ish word, half-finished cherik fic in my fanfic document. I'm kinda wondering if it's worth finishing because it's not half bad.... SO! I'm gonna let yall decide!

synopsis: Erik Lehnsherr is a workaholic. A grumpy, terrifying, workaholic who never uses his days off - and it's only gotten worse since he broke up with his girlfriend a year and a half ago. So, Tony Stark, his boss and the altruistic person he is, sends Lehnsherr on a two-week, all-expenses paid vacation to Maui, Hawaii.

Erik isn't pleased by this development, but he reluctantly goes. And, at the resort, in the room right next to him, is one Charles Xavier.

Charles is fascinating - a professor of genetics who sounds british but grew up in westchester who's been taking time off to help with relief efforts for the fire in Lahaina, since his little sister used to live there, and who is, surprisingly, easy to talk to.

On a whim, Erik finds himself stammering out a suggestion that they both travel the road to Hana, a vaguely adventurous tourist activity that Charles highly recommends, and so begins a whirlwind romance over the course of the next week.

It's set over thanksgiving - I was actually in maui, writing it in real time, but soon gave up since i didn't have my laptop 😭

Raven still lives on the island, in a big house in Napili with a bunch of her friends (Angel, Sean, Alex, Darwin, and Hank). They're all vaguely in their twenties, some edging more towards college age, some a little older. They're all surfers.

Charles works in ny, knows some people at stark industries that erik works with too (emma lmao). He's also a cane user in this. I pretty much gave him my backstory with the islands, except he has the whole coming from old money excuse for traveling (one of my parents used to live on the island so we go there when we can but not in a rich person way 😂) Basically he's been going ever since he and raven were kids, sharon owns one of the condos at the resort, but they're estranged obviously so he just stays in a room like a normal person. He visits Raven every thanksgiving but he's been visiting more often since the fires to volunteer, since they've got a lot of friends who were impacted.

Erik is kinda the stereotypical engineer!erik that you see in modern aus. He was kind of a bad boy, outsider, rough living conditions as a kid, but was super smart. Raised by Edie as a single mom. Got a job at stark industries right out of college (tony took a liking to him and thinks their friends. Erik just wonders why his boss talks to him so much and tries to avoid him as much as possible) Edie passed away five years ago, and then a year and a half ago magda, his long-term girlfriend, left him. I'm thinking he's probably bi and pretty comfy with his sexuality (same with charles. charles is just a big flirt so he hasn't been AS chronically lonely and touch starved).

Ummmm basically they do the road to hana, fall in love in that day (sounds far fetched but TRUST ME a day on the road to hana is like a week long. it is tiring. they will be bonded by the end of it and eating tacos from a taco truck.) they spend the weekend together and then charles is like "welp it's monday i gotta get back to volunteering" and erik is like "well i'm not wasting five days without you" and so he starts volunteering too.... cute boyfriend fluff... Charles takes erik to thanksgiving at raven's with him, found family, yada yada.... beach... pool.... beach.... there's this one mall that has a cotton candy machine charles would absolutely adore.... erik would probably want to go cliff jumping.... there's a cool mandala there..... beach... beach at night (so pretty) (there's lots of frogs).....

anyway.

[fadeling]

helia week ✨ 01

hi. i will be answering about 5 questions from this post by @/thewardenisonthecase every day. yay! get to know my warden or else

🌻 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 🌻

1. What is the Warden's name? Does it have a meaning behind it? How do they feel about their name?

I got the name “Helia” from the scientific name for sunflowers (Helianthus) but I don't remember what led me to look there. Then I googled “Helia” to see if that was a real name and it is and apparently it’s the feminine form for Helios which makes a lot of sense but also probably means i might be pronouncing it wrong. (for the record i say it hey-li-a) Oh well…. She isn’t canonically named after the sun or anything, that’s just a nice coincidence considering the symbolism in dragon age. It’s probably just a name that runs in her family, maybe on her dad’s side

“Tabris” is from neon genesis evangelion and with this information combined her name could mean “The Revealed Sun” if you really wanted it to 

She feels the normal emotions about her name. considers herself to identify with it :)

2. How would you describe the Warden's personality before and after the prologue? Did it change much or did they remain the same?

Honestly not very much. It feels really lame saying that but idk she just kind of Handles things because that’s how she survived growing up in the alienage with her soul intact. Your loved ones will die in brutal, terrible ways and you have to accept that. It won't be fair and it will be cruel and yet it will happen, and it could happen to you. Some people will harden themselves to their own grief and try to avoid it, but Cyrion taught her how to embrace it instead. Helia loves with her whole heart and grieves with it too, she refuses to ever let it destroy her or keep her away from connecting. She's also a little autistic which I think helps!

This is also feeds into how she manages to be self-sacrificing without having much of a complex about it. She doesn't have a death wish and doesn't desire for self-harm, but when she grows up in such a terrible place and clings onto what she has, she wants to be strong enough to fight for it. She's willing to die for the sake of protecting others and she always will be. I would say that the events of origins certainly test her though, and the choice regarding the landsmeet and the ritual were her more selfish moments. Her relationship with alistair certainly makes her more indulgent than she thought she could be

3. Prior to the prologue, who was the Warden's closest friend?

I hope her cousins count. Shianni is like a little sister to her, and she's often looking out for her and gently taking care of her and they're more likely to confide in each other than anyone else. She probably hung out with Soris more often just because he has a talent for challenging her, getting beat by her, and generally just getting them into trouble

4. Did the Warden have any romantic relationships before the game?

No I think her dad’s been telling her that he’s going to arrange her marriage since a young age and her reaction to that was just “oh okay so I don’t need to do it myself then. Thats cool.” So she simply never got into a mentality where she'd be interested in exploring romance. Also anyone who’s her age in the alienage are either her family, thinks she’s weird, are afraid of her, or dead

5. What are their thoughts on Duncan? How did they feel about his actions during the Joining?

Ummmm…. It’s complicated… When they met, she assumed Duncan was just some guy invading her territory so she politely told him to fuck off. When he declined he wasn’t even racist to her, which was nice and extremely rare, which led her to ease up and enter “ok fine I’ll just keep a stern eye on you then” mode. Then there’s the reveal he’s just a Grey Warden who knew her mom and just Happens to be around. 

So there’s this kind of weird dynamic where she feels that he’s respectable and trustworthy and yet also deeply suspicious. His goals are noble, he speaks to her properly, he’s welcome in the alienage, but she recognizes a fellow rogue when she sees one and she’s VERY familiar with what it feels like to be a target. Duncan even congratulates her for being even-tempered with him. He’s probably the best human she’s ever met so far, but he still doesn’t view her as an equal. It’s just weird.

Then the whole “sorry i couldn’t help rescue you and the others for being kidnapped. Politics right? Lol. i let you have my sword though” thing happens and it definitely further sours her thoughts on him. It’s not an outright hate, but it reinforces their gap and since her life literally hinges on him now it’s not one she feels is wise to bridge. She doesn’t fear him, but she could never feel entirely safe with him either. The Ser Jory thing didn’t help. 

Sometimes she thinks “Politics” was just his lame excuse to watch her pass some kind of test and implode her life so that she could be ripe pickings for the Wardens. She doesn’t know if she likes it better that way. She doesn’t know if he would be wrong if that were true. It’s just this solemn thing she carries with her.

Helia was sad when she found out he died. She didn’t wish that on him, and she did think his leadership was valuable. Then there was Alistair’s grief, and she saw a painting of a man she never got to fully know and hardly anything to offer the person hurting from it. 

She’ll definitely always have him in the back of her mind, but probably more often as a cautionary tale. Maybe he’s right. She’d still never want to become someone like him.

[stevenbasic]

Growing into the Job, Post 390: Cat n Mouse, p1

He looked like a baby deer, standing there in my bedroom, wide eyed and haha anything but innocent the little gremlin. 

“Have you been snooping?” I scolded, watching the power in my voice basically blowing my bra right off his face and make him take a step or two backwards, letting it fall to the floor. I was trying to sound funny, casual, playful but I’d felt my energy building building building all through my workout and tho it was sposed to relax me now haha I was like ready to nnngh blow up. And then seeing him with my bra on his face? Fucking adorable. It made me swell up even more. The poor little man needed my perfumes to keep himself from getting sick - woops! I forgot all about that, how he needs me -  and I guess there’d been enough of me in that white underwire I’d worn a couple days ago. So, he’d put it on his face to breathe, just so he could have a hint of my scent. S’okay. Now you get the real thing little boy. 

He took a step back, seeing me, his eyes huge and confused. 

“M-M-Melissa…oh my g-god…” he stammered, seeming to forget for the moment what I’d just caught him doing. Instead, he was worried about how I looked. “Y-y-you’re huge.”

I love when he stutters like that, trying to speak to me. “Oh, you noticed,” I smiled, stepping now into the bedroom…and watching him take another step back. He bumped into the shelf. A candle toppled over, and he panicked quickly trying to catch it, but it fell to the ground and knocked over one of the pictures of him I’d framed. Clumsy little monkey. I mean, I guess I can’t blame him. After my workouts I tend to bulge up, like a lot. My muscles swell up like crazy, making me look enormous. And as I came closer to him, I felt them all growing bigger still, vibrating, urging me to just reach out and grab him. 

And I did. 

I reached out my arms, to take him into a hug, but the stinker ducked and got underneath them. He quickly darted to the side, away from me.

“Jay-yyyyyy..?” I sang, turning towards him again, “What are you doinggg?” I sounded crazy like a crazy lady but haha who cares. 

“I, uhhh…” he sputtered, looking this way and that. Guhh it was so cute! Suddenly he darted to his right, but  I was quicker. I cut him off with a single step. He hesitated, backing away again. 

“I’m uh…”

You’re trying to get away from me you little scamp. “C’mere I just want to hold you,” I said, crouching down for to snatch the bra off of the ground that he’d had over his face. I took another step towards him but nnn hahaha he just kept running away. “What is up with uuuu hahahaha? Are u afraiiid of me? Afraid of what you did?”

“I-I ummmm-” he began. 

“You were snooping,” I repeated, finishing his answer for him, “You were looking through my stuff and snoopity-snoop-snooping.” At that I lunged towards him but urrrr he snuck under my arms again and scampered towards the door, running out into the hallway.

I turned, bra still in hand, and stepped after him. By the time I got out of the bedroom he was already scooting down the stairs. 

“Why are you running away from meeeee..?” I called after him as he hit the bottom floor and disappeared around the corner. I giggled. Of course I could just boom out, use my bossy voice, and make him turn right around. I could make him crawl back up the stairs to me til he got to my size 15s, but where's the fun in that hahaha? Well, that actually does sound fun too haha…but I have a better idea.

I  walked to the top of the stairs. “Hide and seek? Is that what you want to play, honey?” I spoke. I made certain he would hear me. My voice, I knew, could carry through the house. In fact it could shatter all the windows, if I wanted. “Cat and mouse?” I continued, as I took my first step down towards the bottom floor. I was still in my workout clothes, this tight white top and black leggings, but my muscles were so pumped up from even just the tiny little weights my mom had downstairs that they were nearly bursting out of my clothes. Maybe I’ll do that, when I catch you, make you watch me burst out of my clothing. 

“So, where is little mousy?” I asked, when I got to the bottom of the stairs, “ Big big kitty wants to playyyyy…” In all honesty I felt less like a kitty and more like a giant mama she-lion stalking for dinner, but I was willing to go with it. I glanced down at the table, this narrow thing that my mom kept in the atrium. My eyes narrowed.  I’d dropped a bunch of ‘Lean In’ and ‘Movement’ pamphlets here last week, and he’d obviously been looking through them. I could smell him on them. 

“I see you found my pamphlets,” I called out to the house, holding back a laugh, “Interesting reading, hm?” I knew I shouldn’t leave these laying around; they're supposed to be for girl-eyes only. Whatever. “And you were looking at that picture of me from the fitness competition? I was big for a twe- …nineteen yr old…” I said, “I’m so much bigger now.”

Come back here and I’ll show you.

---

Oh my god, oh my god! What the fuck is happening?? I thought to myself, having moments ago ducked behind the couch, my heart racing with the panic of a hunted animal. What do I think I’m doing?? Seeing her like she was, being caught in her bedroom after finding all the things I’d found - those pamphlets, her notes and ravings, my instinctual reaction was ‘get away from this giant crazy lunatic’.

Deep breath. I know I know I know…this was Melissa. My girlfriend. Of all the people I’d ever met she was one of the most sweet and tender. The perfect girlfriend. At times. 

But it was more than fair to say she could - at other times - be rather unbalanced, and this was clearly one of them. I could see it in her eyes, as soon as I saw her upstairs. She was manic. She was possessed by this need to get bigger, stronger. She claimed it was to protect me, but why did I  suddenly feel so endangered? Why? Was I just confused? She wouldn’t actually hurt me, right? No….no. But I…I needed time to think, to process. What did her having all that propaganda imply, what did all that stuff I found on the shelf mean for us? For me?

“Come out come out wherever you are…!” I heard her tease, giggling. Urk! She was close, walking just on the other side of the couch I was hiding behind. I had to crouch down, shrink down even smaller not to be seen, almost crawling under the couch. I could feel her passing by, and I watched as her long, long legs came into view walking away. Her big thighs bulged through spandex leggings, thick, hip-width muscle lapping at the base of her tapered, heroic torso. The twin planets of her ass rocked back and forth rhythmically swaying as she made her way towards the enclosed indoor pool to look for me. She was carrying the big white bra I’d been breathing from; it dangled from her right hand. Is she using that as bait?

I refused to fall for it. Now was my chance. 

Behind her back, just as she was stepping through the sliding doors, I darted away. Trying my best to stay quiet, I scooted towards the kitchen, and through the back hallway. There was a door there that led outside. If I made it outside, maybe I could-

I could what? As I got to the back door, and my hand met the handle, I froze. I was suddenly assaulted. Assaulted by doubt, apprehension and a new wave of nausea. 

Ugh. Ugh ugh- I- can’t. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t open the door. Something in my rat brain was stopping me. Somehow I knew, as the taste of bile hit the back of my throat, that things would only get worse out there than they were in here. I had a flash, a mental image, a picture of it. I would be cold, weak and alone, and the reality of it made me shiver. I couldn't do it. I’ve got to think of something else���

-----

I knew he wasn’t in here. I knew he wouldn’t dare go into the pool area. It was too frightening for him now that he was afraid to go near the water by himself. He might fall in again, drown without me.

Yeah, the pool room would be off-limits, even if it was  just to hide from me.. Plus, I knew where he was anyway haha. I could hear him. His heavy breathing, his little steps as he scampered from the great room.  He was trying to be sneaky but to me they were clear as day. I came out here anyway just to give him some time to try to get away, maybe find a really good hiding spot. I wasn’t worried that he’d go outside. If he did, then he’d be really scared, and he’d feel even sicker. So no. I wasn’t worried. He would need me soon.

But I wanted to hold him so bad. Like, now. 

So, after just a little bit - I counted to ten in my head - I turned around, came back into the main living area, and closed the slider to the pool behind me. “I guess you’re not in there,” I called out, knowing he could hear me. I peeled off my workout sneakers - one, two - and dropped them on the floor. Socks too. I liked the feeling of the house shaking under my bare feet, but first I listened. I could so easily sense him and everything about him now. So cool. 

“Oh are you starting to feel sick? Does you're tummy hurt? Hm hun?” I announced, “Being away from me is just so hard, huh?” Slowly I started to walk and yeah haha - <boom boom boom> went my feet. “Take a deep breath hun. There should be enough of my perfumes around so you can handle it - I’m really sweaty haha - but still. You don’t feel so good, do you?” It was like I could feel his stomach turn. “Come to mama. You can sniff her bra again, and make it all better <giggle!>”

This is like playing hide and seek with a toddler. I glanced around the great room, making a show of looking under the couch cushions and behind the big potted plant that I really needed to water, but I knew he wasn’t in here. He was like a little kid, so predictable so I kinda already knew where he was.It was so obvious. Plus haha I can hear his heartbeat. 

He was scared. Was he really trying to resist me?

“Hiding in the kitchen, hm?” I called out, as I casually made my way towards him. I’d turned off my perfumes, completely, a little while ago.  I didn’t really know I could do that, but I guess I can. I giggled to myself. If you're not going to play nice sweetie, then I'm not going to either. I can withhold from you. Let’s see how much you like that.

“Get ready, hun,” I said, “Here I come…”

---

Oh no! How the hell?!? I could hear her coming closer, the house - and everything around me - shaking under her feet. She couldn't possibly know!  

My heart raced anew. I thought I’d found a spot, the perfect place. Here, in the dark, I could be quiet. I could try to deal with this building nausea. She’d never think I could actually fit in here, right? I’d just had to push a few cleaning products out of the way and curl up a little. Suddenly my height is an advantage, I thought ruefully, but if she knew I was in the kitchen, it wouldn’t be long until-

<boom boom boom!> her footsteps were coming closer. 

How are they so loud??

She continued to talk to me, teasing me as she approached. “Haha I bet you’re wondering: ‘How does she know, huh? How does she know I was looking at the pamphlets? Her picture?’ Are you wondering that, sweetie? Are you wondering how I know?” 

She was in the kitchen, now. I heard her opening some of the upper cabinets. “I was downstairs working out with my mom’s little baby weights, lifting them all and I felt it. Haha I felt you, what you were doing,” she continued. A cabinet door <slammed>, making me flinch. “How does it feel to have a girlfriend that can read your mind, honey??”

Oh my god she’s crazy, I thought to myself but, for a second, I couldn't help but consider the horrifying possibility. I shivered in some dark mix of fear and arousal. What if she could?

I heard a loud <THUD> as she looked through a garbage can, followed by the clinking of utensils as she opened - a silverware drawer? How small does she think I am??

“Wanna know what else I can do?” she asked as her heavy footfalls - <boom, boom, boom> - approached even closer. What small bit of light came into my hiding space, the little sliver through the door, was eclipsed by the shadow of her legs as she passed in front. She’d stopped. She was now a foot away from me, if that. 

I knew, I knew it right then and there. She was waiting for me. She was standing there on purpose, blithely talking to me and indulging my little game of hiding from her. She totally knew where I was.

“You know, don’t you? That I know exactly where you are?” she began, “I can feel it, but that's not all. I can also tell you’re shaking. You’re quivering. You’re afraid.”

My eyes went wide. How? How was this all possible? I knew I needed to hide. I needed to get away, but all I managed to do was get myself trapped, and now she was coming to get me.

 “Awwww, honey, sweetie…don’t be too afraid…”

<BOOM!>

An enormous footfall, inches away, rattling the cabinets, glassware and indeed the entire house around us. I covered my head and went into a fetal position I heard her begin to laugh. All my nerve endings were screaming and I’d tucked away, backing deeper into my little hole as far as I could.

“You like that?” she chuckled, as <BOOM!> she slammed her foot again into the kitchen floor, to shake the house even more violently and causing me to nearly jump out of my own skin. I heard something crash and shatter in another room. “I can make my feet really heavy. I can make earthquakes for you,” she said, from where she stood right outside my hiding spot, “That’s kinda sexy, right?”

I tried to keep myself from moaning, whining, whimpering - I was so scared! - I didn't want her to hear me. She knew I was here but…but…

“Come on out, sweetie, come on out and I can show you what else I can do,” she continued, “I can use my breath, I can use my eyes, I can use everything that’s super about me and we can have so much fun…”

I couldn’t help it, I let out a noise. It was a groan? A moan? A little whine? Whatever it was it sounded pathetic, and I’m sure she heard it…

“Ohhhhh, sweetie..!” I heard her exclaim, “That little noise! Are you feeling okay? All hidden away from me, away from my perfumes?” I saw her shadow shift outside. “It hurts your tummy, doesn’t it? Being without them? Makes your head all ucky?”

Nnngh. Oh my god. Yes. I wanted it. I needed it, now more than ever. I needed to smell her, to breathe her in. I just need a little.

“Just a little? That’s all you need?” she cooed, torturing me with the promise and an infuriating little giggle, “Come on out, then. I have something that might help.”

I reached my hand out toward the door. I shivered, I shook. My bones rattled like a junkie, my mind desperate.

Wh-What is it?

“‘What is it?’ Hmm, here’s a hint,” she began, frightening me with her evident ability to know what I was thinking,  “it's smooth, and silky and white and it’s reeeeeally big. I think it'll make you feel allll better. You just have to ask nice.”

My breath rattled in my lungs as I pictured her caressing it in her hands. Oh Christ.

  “p-p-please..?” I peeped out, from my dark little spot, giving into my weakness and perversion as I finally revealed myself.

I heard her giggle. 

“Please what?”

“p-please may I come out..?” I asked.

“‘Please may I come out and..’? What else, honey?”

She was going to tease me, punish me, show me the folly of ever trying to get away from her.

“please may I come out,” I began again, my voice timid and meek. Just as weak as I was. I didn't even really know what I was saying anymore. “A-and…” oh my god oh christ what am I saying “...c-can you put your bra on my face?” 

What the hell’s become of me??

 I really need to get out of here!

“Oh, of course sweetie,” she giggled, apparently amused and tickled pink by the candidness of my pathetic request. “I would love to do that, but where are you?” she teased.

“I-I’m down here…” I said, from inside my lair, as I lightly pushed open the cabinet door.

---

“Oh good boy!” I sang, laughing. Omigod this was too much hahahaha! He asked! I got him to actually ask for it! “Good boy, good boy,” I said, immediately crouching down and opening the under-sink cabinet where he’d been hiding from me. “Oooo you look so cute, so little and curled-up and scared under there, like a little boy hiding from his - nnngh - mommy.” 

Did I just say that out loud haha??

He still had on his wrinkled little work shirt, his wrinkled little work pants. His brow was all wrinkled up too, he was so nervous, embarrassed. He looked up at me. “Aww, sweetie! It’s okay! Come on out!”

I knew I could have helped him, reached in and lifted him right out of there, but I wanted to stand and watch him crawl out toward me, Which was exactly what he started to do. 

Awkwardly, so awkward, he started coming on out, unfolding himself from the little ball he’d curled himself into. He got partway out, from the cabinet, before he stumbled and fell into a little heap at my feet. I giggled at his clumsiness, and looked down at him.

He started to try to get his hands under himself, maybe trying to stand - but I could tell he really wanted to scamper away.

“Nuh-uh,” I immediately said with a frown, placing a big, bare foot of mine onto his chest. I gently (well, maybe not so gently haha)  pushed him down, until he was laying on the floor. With his scared little eyes looking up at me as I had him pinned on his back, it was priceless! 

 Oh, haha, poor baby. Are you afraid that I saw through your little escape attempt? Afraid I read your mind? This was just too much fun!

“Stay there for a minute,” I told him, my foot now pushing him into the polished hardwood floor of the kitchen. Nnnngh omigod is that a boner? Is he…haha omigoddd…liking having my foot on him, being stepped on? Little man don’t you know I could crush your ribcage like celery sticks?

I considered pushing my foot up, rubbing it in his face. I could make him lick and kiss my toes to make it up to me, for all this running away and hiding. Kiss my feet. The boys in the basement ask to do it. Maybe you should learn to do it too. 

“h-how did you know I was in there?” he finally asked, from down on the ground. There were so many questions in his scared little eyes, but he was really just having trouble accepting the truth about what I could do. I figured I should keep it simple.

“Let’s just call it women’s intuition,” I said, smiling my biggest warmest smile at him as I took my foot off him, leaned down, and picked him right up from under his arms. My bra still dangled from my right hand but I had no trouble; he weighed practically nothing. I could hold him off the ground like this for as long as I wanted, watch him squirm. I looked him right in the eye as I slowly started to pull him in-

Oh ho the little noodge! He put his hands up to my chest, trying to push off, push me away. 

‘Still afraid of me huh? Even with that big boner in your pants?’ He pushed, the little twerp. “Oh like that’s going to help!” Nnngh! That’s only going to make it worse haha! ‘Now, come to mama…’

 I arched my back, pressing my big breasts just further into his small hands. I couldn't keep from moaning. "OOoooOOoooo I like the feeling of your little hands on me, Jay,” I said, “It makes me feel even bigger!” 

It’s true. Maybe I’m a bit mean sometimes, maybe I’m a bad girlfriend but comparing his shrunken body to mine was like my favorite thing to do. “You’re so small, so little and weak,” I said to him, “and when we’re together I feel huge. I love feeling huge.” I giggled. His hands were mushed right into my boobs, basically disappearing. “Do you promise you’ll keep getting smaller for me?”

His jaw was quivering, his eyes big and wide. He was staring at his hands, seeing for himself just how smsll they were compared to my breasts. He was just so powerless. Shocked, he looked up into my face... His brain was slowing down. He was having trouble talking. I had let go just a little of my pheram- uh, perfumes - I didn’t like when he felt sick to his tummy! - but it’s not like he was babbling, or salivating all over the floor. I could just tell he was lost in me. And not just in my size, he was lost in all of me. Sure he was paying attention to  the swell of my shoulders and traps  which, nnngh, were still all pumped up and enormous and maybe haha a little intimidating. But his eyes also traveled into my eyes, my smile, my big thick hair. I just loved how he was looking at me. It's quite nice, sometimes, to be such a bombshell haha.

He was like a baby deer, and now that he’d been caught by the hungry mama bear - haha me -  with his big wide eyes, all his trembling? He might as well have been drizzling himself in honey. “Sweetie I need a kiss, a nice big one,” I told him, unable to help myself as I pulled him in. 

He could tell as soon as my my lips pressed against his: I just wanted to eat him up! He could feel how wonderfully full my lips were and just how easily they engulfed his. He felt their softness and warmth overtake him, and, nnngh, I wanted him to imagine them pressing up against his entire body, being sucked into my mouth, me eating him up! My lips needed no help pulling him into them and haha as we kissed he could feel his breath being drawn from his lungs by my own stronger ones. I held his breath from him and when I finally released him he found himself panting.

“M-Melissa, oh my god…” he managed, his head swimming from lack of air. 

My cheeks warmed up and my excitement built even more. I opened my mouth to respond, but instead a moan came out and once again I pressed my lips against his. Now I really began to suck him in, a huge kiss.

It’s like…I didn’t mean to kiss him again. I should really be punishing him, for snooping, for running away from me and hiding. There were other things I should be doing, I knew, to show him his place, but I wanted him inside me so badly and as I kissed him my mouth opened wider and worked against his, overpowering his smaller lips with my own while again drawing the breath from inside him. I sucked in, and in, and in. He struggled a little, then a lot, in my hands. Squirming around, the little cutie.

I thought maybe I should break the kiss but - haha no -  I didn’t wanna, even as his chest began to strain and I began to get concerned I might collapse his skinny chest. He’d stopped moving. So instead I breathed into him, filling his lungs. I’d taken the breath from him so I could give him my own. Don’t worry, I can give you what you need to breathe. What I breathed into him was better than regular air. It was my air, my oxygen, it was all me me me.

Stil, he began to squirm again, like he was trying to get away from me. 

“You are being such a stinker!” I laughed, breaking our kiss and holding him so our faces were just inches apart. I cocked my head and regarded him, falling into thought as he gasped. “I’m beginning to think that your email friend and this ‘resistance’ are a little problem for us. Are they making you think this way, act up like this, all naughty? I don't want them infecting my perfect little man with bad ideas.”

He shook his head, still recovering. “N-no, Melissa, I just w-wanted to…f-find out more…” 

“Oh, Jay, I know,” I said, trying to stay calm. Think, Missy, think. Be patient with him. “Well, as long as you stop reading those emails, it's no problem.” At least for now. 

He didn’t have a phone, at this point, no one could text him either. We looked through all his mail, made sure he only got stuff we’d want him to read. In fact, is there any reason he needs to read at all? God haha mmmph! That would be amazing! Emptying that little head of his until he can't remember how to read. I could just picture it: I imagined myself looking into his eyes and draining him of all his big-boy smarts until he was like a simple little child, watching all his brains just dribble out. That way I could read to him at night, help him along with books at bedtime. Books like - what’s it called? One Fish, Two Fish? Red Fish, Blue Fish? Or haha One Boob, Two Boobs, White Boobs, Brown Boobs. That should keep him focused on what's important. Haha Boobs Boobs Boobs hahahahaha. 

Sometimes I sound crazy, I know. But everyone is a little crazy when they're in love, right?

“So, though, is that why you were sneaking around snooping? Reading those pamphlets and looking through my stuff?” I asked as gentle as I could be when every inch of me just wanted to, nnngh haha toss his little man body onto the counter and climb on top of him. “You trying to figure me out?” I continued.

At that, I lifted him a bit and <plopped> him on his butt, right onto the granite of the kitchen counter, next to the sink. His little legs dangled off the side. I put my hands down - I was still holding my bra - on either side of his knees, resting the weight of my upper body on the stone and leaning in towards him. Instinctively, he leaned back a bit. People get like that, these days. They have trouble handling me when I get close.

“I should punish you but, well, here. Let me tell you a little about what’s happening…”

===================================

thank you to @artaibyanuartoraigyrov for the base image in the first pic, and to RiF for help in editing.

As always, more on Patreon:

[malkon-dova]

Final Performance / The End (outer wilds)

1st session playthrough liveblog | endgame spoilers ahead for outerwilds | no dlc spoilers please (haven't gotten to it yet)

So the title is self explanatory but. theres quite a bit of content to unpack before we get there so.

at the end of last liveblog i had two things to do: Ash Twin Project, and something I had neglected to mention: Probe Tracking Module!!

If I'm honest, I really didn't care about it much-- ATP was right there!! I wanted to finally figure out it's secrets!!! but i ended up finding the probe first because well. save the best for last yknow? AND MAN.

I'M GLAD I DID.

And oouhh!! the puzzle to get into the core of giants deep was so cool!!! i had to get a few nudges by my friend to get on the right track, but after looking at the rumor log and remembering the jellyfish insulation, I knew what i had to do!! (poor jellyfish though..)

but GOSH. THERE'S SO MUCH THERE. 9,318,054 PROBE LAUNCHES TO FIND THE EYE. THAT'S. INSANE. FUCKING INSANE. AND THE COORDINATES!! DUDE! THE MOMENT I SAW THAT. I KNEW I HAD TO PUNCH THAT INTO THE VESSEL

either way!!!! whether or not I had figured some preetty important lore- i had 1 thing left, Ash Twin Project (Squeee!!!!)

solving this puzzle was kind of funny! i figured that the 'broken' ash-twin warp was the solution, but i was stuck on the fact that the ash pillar would suck me up before i could warp (i knew this bc i tried to do this before out of curiosity). i was able to send my camera through though while i was wandering around- which helped confirm it led to ATP. but the 1st way i actually got there myself was through *waiting* for the the ash to stop pouring out onto Ember and wait for the twins to align, and well.

it sure worked haha (had NO time whatsoever to explore it though, the sun explode music was in full blast). but i did figure out the intentional route! seeing the warp activate in front my eyes by putting my camera on it a few sessions ago helped me realize (along with the nudges and hints my friend was giving me).

and well. the moment i had time to explore, that basically spelled the beginning of the end

finally getting the timeline was cool! the nomai being completely ganked by the ghost crystals was insane; its good but also completely disturbing to know that the comet rupturing was their ultimate downfall. jesus

but yeah. um i saw the advanced warp core and well. its the source of the loop, aint it? no core, no power to keep me from looping post sun-explosion

theres nothing else to do besides take it..

-and then fly directly into the sun, causing me to die permanently and to get. credits.

the end! what a lovely way to get an existential crisis (i was staring at the pause screen for a hot while after, i was a bit shaken up haha)!! The music doesn't help, the looping sun-is-gonna-explode music reprise is sososososo scary dude. its beautiful but I genuinely was gonna have a heart attack.

but nah, of course- just dying? that's not it. i knew that that warp core was destined for the moment i saw it's ass. and man.

plugging in the warp core, inputting the code here (AND IT WAS IN THE BOTTOM CORNER TOO?? THAT WAS COOL), and WARPING??? WAS INSANE. i was panicking the entire time but the MOMENT i activated it...

woah.

WOAH. WOAH. WOAH. WOAH. WOAH. THAT'S THE EYE. THAT'S THE EYE. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK. OH MY GOD. OHH MY GOD. OH MY GOD OH OH WOAH WOAH

OHHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD OH M YO GOD OH MY OGD GHDSGG?? OH GODDDDD WOW OKAY OKAY OKAY

OKAY COOL OK OK OK UM UM?? UMMMM??? UMMMMMMMMMMMM

WEEEEE

I wish i had a screenshot of when I was falling through the eye, but if i'm being honest, my jaw was on the floor and i was two seconds away from hyperventilating after seeing basically hell- so i think i miiiiight have an excuse to have not screenshot it. that place was scary.

yknow what else is scary? hard teleporting back to the museum. absolutely terrifying. jesus christ.

i suppose this is purgatory

wow.

i'm glad solanum could be part of this. i hadn't heard her piano accompaniment till this sequence, so it was a welcome surprise.

but. yeah. and there we collapsed the universe in on itself, allowing it to be born anew

i'm.

being completely honest here, as i'm typing this, i'm getting weepy all over again- I'm. genuinely so. so so touched by this game. the moment it ended and credits started, i broke down. completely. i hadn't sobbed like this over a game in a bit. like i cried playing isat, and it had it's own share of The Horrors, but Outer Wilds? that completely broke me.

this game is a masterpiece. and absolute masterpiece. it's a story about loss and helplessness, but its a story about acceptance.

i was so scared facing the end, but im sure that was intentional. after all, death- or the end is terrifying. who wouldn't have at least a smidge of fear before seeing their demise? the cycle of renewal has come to a close and it's time to move on.

fuck. fuck man. fucking fuckity fuck christ. im never recovering from this. i will never ever recover. i will not. i refuse. i will take his hurt and live with it forever. my heart will know it intimately

I'll see you guys next time during dlc,,,

additional thoughts: the eye- like everything related to the ending is terrifying. i've loved quantum stuff ever since i learned about it in this game, but MAN does it take it up a notch. a whole planet of quantum. terrifying. genuinely terrifying. the thunder and constantly altering lighting causing the plants and rocks to move is so scary (the oxygen refill is appreciated though) the campfire/final performance location at the end being the title screen location is crazy too!!!!! AND THE MUSIC. OH THE MUSIC THE MUSIC. ATC'S MUSIC IS SO SCARY BUT SO FITTING. ITS THE VERY LOCATION WHERE YOU MEET YOUR END. THE CORE OF YOUR LOOPS. YOU CAN PHYSICALLY HOLD YOUR OWN FATE IN YOUR HANDS AND EITHER PERISH OR DO SOMETHING. OHH... OHHH MY GODDDDDD ALSO I LOST MY CAMERA BUDDY TO THE EYE. which SUCKED. BAD. i was really sad i lost em :( i needed the companionship

but seeing them in the future was nice (didn't get a screenshot of them whizzing by unfortunately)

but yeah! again. amazing. amazing peak game. best 22 minutes of my life. 9,318,054/10

[soupdeewoop]

Taylor owns her masters!!!

and i have so much to say lol my blog doesnt reach a lot of people but its my tumblr and its my space so whatever

(this seems so intimatidating even to me i swear its not its just a rant)

first, i CANNOT believe that she did this. she dropped this news on a random friday, start of my english class, where we were supposed to put our phones away and watch the fucking movie (which was the book thief, so sad me and my frinds almost started crying) and it was an EFFORT to keep my phone away cause i JUST saw the post and was trying to open up her website to read the letter but its ok i did eventually i just read it very quick.

there was so much exciting news lowkey my stomach was doing backflips cause i saw the pictures with her holding her albums and was like, ummmm wtf is this :/. this is not normal. and my mind went to rep tv which was stupid but its engraved in my brain to clown for rep tv 😭. anyways she had her OG (not stolen anymoreeee) and was so flabberghasted loll

ANYWAYS what realy stood out to me was when she said that when she basically said that she was so close to havng it and then it being left like GUYS. THIS IS SO HUGE IM SO HAPPY FOR HER I GENUINLY DONT KONW HOW TO FEEL. i havent been a fan of her since i was a kid, i only REALLY started listeing to her the night ttpd came out, but shes like part of my routine to listen to her songs and talk about new theories and stuff and its been SO FUN.

im just glad that she has them back, she really deserves them and also her using the money from the eras tour was SUCH A SMART MOVE. like im assuming thats probably why she had that tour, cause logically it shouldv been a midnights themed tour right? (ok ik i have to consider lover, folkolre, and evermore that all got lost in the pandemic, but its just something i thought about) just something that didnt add up to me kind of. but either way, we all helped her in a way so i think we desrve to give ourselves a pat on our backs, even if you didnt go to the shows.

ok so other things i have in mind is obvs about rep and debut. I know we have been clowning for rep for around 2-3 YEARS so obviously its what we are thinking about. i know a lot of people are thinking abt rep tv and the vault tracks. SOOOOO about that lol she did even record quarter of that album. allllllll that clowning omg we REALLY WERE CLOWNS i lowkey feel stupid but its alright, its all for fun. (im she she saw it too, esp after her being like, i know i know, what about rep tv? LMFAO) also, anyone who takes clowning seriously and gets genuinly mad and upset at her.... idk what to tell you, fix yourself maybe? anyways the concept of rep tv possibly being released after ttpd was kind of jarring bc think about what ttpd was about and then think about was rep was about... like shes not going to rerecord that so soon after ttpd 😭. i did like the idea of it being released before debut tv bc itll be her reputation and then her name, but still, eh. I totally get why this wouldve been a difficult thing to re record because it was one of her most lowest points in her career, full of raw emotion, and redoing that is just impossible. I do believe we might get vault trancks, like she did say its a posibility, but i dont think thats going to be soon. this is such a huge part of her life, there;'s definetly going to be some sort of reset or rebrand (not neccesarily an album) that might happen, so i dont thnk she will delve into rep that soon. idk if she WILL do it tho, but personally i know ill be very excited if it comes out lol.

ok onto debut. she did say she re recorded that, but idk when she might release that. i mean technically there isnt rlly value to her releasing debut tv version, but idk maybe she might as its her forst album, her namesake, defnietly important to her that she wants to bring to light again. ive never listened to debut (sorry) but i wont feel guilty about listeing to stolen versions anymore so i just might!!! again, i cannot believe we were closer to potentially getting debut tv then rep with all of our clowning 😭😭😭.

ok, now onto the future lol. like a said, something refreshing, like some sort of rebrand (even i dont know what i mean by this, but like something that doesn't keep dwelling on past albums and stuff (???)) im not sure if its anything necessarily new. In reagan baylee's video, she says that this might be like the end for the ttpd era, which, honestly, makes sense. personally ttpd is in the time where you cant really experience to its full extent, like you just HAD to be there (personal opinion), so i definetly think there might be some new vibes. i feel like clowning for multiple things might not be there, but clowning as a whole,,,, i mean thats like a cannon event for swifties and theres no way taylor is gonna stop dropping easter eggs.

now for ts12, i know there are a lot of theories, and ik this is kinda going against what i JUST said, but ts12 will come at some point. in my mind its gonna be a happier, grown up lover. like glitter gel pen songs all overrrr. especially bc honestly lover couldve been sooooo much more but bc of her losing her albums and the pandemic and such, that era was cut short, and then the albums after weren't really pop song, cute, happy albums too, so hopefully ts12 is like that.

so yea

this is a reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy long rant but idk ig i dont rlly have poeple to tell lmfao

if youve stuck around this long, well, kudos to you!!!

@moonytoast-x

[cyber-skeletons]

um um um

Artie introduced me to your age regression Megatron headcanon and ooouuuhh

ummmm i was wondering if maybe you could tell me more? :3

SOOOOOOO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE, my life exploded (with positive things!!!!!) and things have been SO busy

Seriously thank you for prompting me about this because I have a Lot of feelings. For one, age regression is hardly represented positively Anywhere. And age regression isn't to be confused with age play in a kink context or plural systems (like us!) that have younger/child members, either. The former is roleplay, and the latter has actual individual children who don't mainly exist in an adult stage. Age regression is defined by Medical News Today as "when a person's thoughts, emotions, and behavior revert to an earlier stage of development." (Forgive me if you already knew all this ^^')

So onwards to Megatron. Being constructed cold fully-grown during functionism has GOT to do a NUMBER on one's psyche. Childhood is so important to social sapient creatures (i.e. humans, whales, elephants, etc. AND ALSO TRANSFORMERS) and when they have a "wire mother" or no parental figure at all, they come out... really, really messed up. Namely, they have trouble communicating with others, are timid, suffer anxiety and fits of violence, and even self-harm. Now, Megatron's aggression and murderous tendencies can be explained by him being thrown into the gladiator pits of Kaon after an Extremely traumatic event, but being thrown off the factory floor and directly into the mines from his creation couldn't have helped matters. And his original strong aversion to violence and dedication to pacifism could very well be from insecure attachment.

BUT. Megatron sure did attach himself to one bot in particular.

Terminus was Megatron's "cloth mother" (although Terminus sure is INSISTENT that "no attachments" is the only way to go about life, and would be HORRIFIED to think of himself as Megatron's nurturing figure). Megatron is NEVER portrayed as touchy-feely, yet he clings to Terminus, is constantly trying to touch him, sacrifices his own fuel and strength for him, HUGS him. He sought out meaning and affirmation and comfort and affection from Terminus, and Terminus... well, he tried his best(?). But that's a whole other meta.

Finally we're at the actual age regression. I don't think it's a reach that any cold constructed mech would age regress as a response to stress or trauma, and even the mighty Megatron is no different. I think Terminus... would have tolerated it, so long as Megatron understood that it was "shameful" and did it only around him or in private. I can see Megatron regressing to a pre-teen (a la the Earthspark Terrans) or even as early as a toddler, babbling softly to himself, crying, rocking, and sucking on his thumb. He may even have stolen a doll or made one out of ore and carries it around with him and hugs it while regressed. He didn't have a childhood, so his processor makes one for him.

Post-Terminus and as leader of the Decepticons, Megatron has fully internalized that age regressing is shameful and will get him killed if discovered, so he masks and squirrels away behind locked doors to wait for the episode to pass. It would take a looooot of deconditioning to get Megatron to trust someone enough to allow them to see him regressed and let them take care of and comfort him, whether that be Soundwave, Optimus, Rodimus, Minimus, Rung...

I don't limit this headcanon to IDW1 either. Every Megatron age regresses, to me. It just... makes sense to me, and gives me all the feelings.

[destinyc1020]

I don't always agree with your views but I enjoy your blog. I miss the days when a difference in opinion didn't resort to attacking. I miss pre-covid when people were more tolerant

Zendaya and Tom didn't adandon social media just because they are older, they are off social media mostly because of people being negative and attacking them. When Tom was filming TCR and people comparing how he looked to Anne Frank thinking it was funny. Big surprise he then announced his break from IG. Zendaya grieving the death of her co-star and people attacking her. Then attacking her lack of response to the middle east in October which I feel was the final straw for her.

People don't have to agree with every opinion but there is no need for name calling. All you achieve when you do that is the risk of driving people away.

Thank you Anon 🙏🏾 I appreciate your kind words. 🥰

I totally miss the more care-free days of the pre-pandemic era as well. People have become incredibly wound way too tightly these days. 🥴

Anytime you (Gen you) are getting SO ANGRY and having an issue with who someone chooses to post on their OWN personal blog, that is a sign that maybe you need to take a vacation, go out and touch some grass, or do something to improve your mental health or well-being, because it is really not that serious. Imagine, being annoyed at something as minuscule as that, when there are waaaay more important things going on in the world today to be angry about. 😒

Look....I follow a VARIETY of blogs (as you all can probably tell), and even if I'm not a fan of every single person that individual posts or blogs about, I still appreciate their posts, and I don't have ANY issues seeing other actors on my timeline feed. Not at all.... not in the least! To me, it's really not that serious. I love MANY different actors and celebrities in Hollywood, and I've posted about a ton of various people (and topics!) on my blog.

And why that Anon was coming for my post about Denis, acting like I need to "quit complaining"....ummmm, I only mentioned him ONCE in reference to my thoughts of him being snubbed for a Best Director nod. ONCE!! The Oscar nominations just came out yesterday! You think I wouldn't have an opinion on some things? 🥴 I saw Josh's IG story this morning and agreed with him. That's it!

No, that Anon was really just showing what they were TRULY upset at, which was the fact that I post Timmy and Austin on my blog too "frequently" for their liking I guess. 🙄😒 The truth finally came out towards the end of their ask. 🙄

I'm sorry if I like Austin and Timmy. I'm SORRY if some of them have been filming and also doing press tours and interviews over the past several months... and one just got nominated for an Oscar. One just broke up with his gf.... like, c'mon! Look, I'm sorry!

I swear 🤦🏾‍♀️

And even if NONE of those things were even happening, I still have a right to post whatever and WHOEVER I want on my blog. 🙄 Point blank. End of story.

I don't like people who try to police other people's blogs or manage what they post. That's so dumb and silly imo. 🙄

Re: Tom & Zendaya....

Yea girl, I totally don't blame Tom or Z for getting off social media and also not even interacting with fans on there anymore. People are CRAZY out here, and you really have to protect your peace! I can only imagine how much worse it is for them, when me as a normal person is getting unnecessary hate for no good reason.

Even if we don't always agree on a topic, there are ways to express your disagreement in a very respectful and open way. We don't have to resort to name-calling or rude asks. 🙄

I've always said that I don't mind dissenting opinions, but at the very least, be respectful when you share them?

Anyway, I think it's a shame what Tom and Z went through, especially making fun of someone's looks when he's filming for a role (hello??), or acting like Z has to be the authority on all issues going on around the world?? Like, come on! 🤨 That's way too much pressure. And I don't blame her for just not even posting anything on her IG anymore about ANY issues. People don't know how to act. 🙄 Or, they'll say, "you posted for x issue, but not for y issue!! You're a hypocrite!" 🥴

Well guess what, now she doesn't post for anything. Happy?

While I do miss Tom and Z's more carefree days on social media, I'm actually very glad that they have both decided to protect their peace. 🙏🏾❤️

[quackquackcey]

Writers Wrap

(ty for the tag @demonicfaerie 💛 I am late to the game but hehehooha ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

Favorite Story you've worked on this year: i have no clue lol, Derek's Kumquat probably? Technically i worked on it dec 2023 & posted jan 2024 so idk if it counts as this year LOL, it was originally my fic idea for sterekreversechallenges' Sterek 1000 Cakes Challenge based on the word prompt 'kumquat' but the plotbunny was too fat for me to write in time 😂 I've reread it many times & like to laugh at the dumb kumquat puns & jokes everytime when I do 🤣 (also ofc the smut is peak 🤌)

Favorite character you've written this year: Stiles or Derek! Idk which though - Stiles is funner & easier to write for me in the sense that i tend to write him a bit rambly/there's more of a lighthearted tone to his inner monolgues/thoughts, but I actually relate to Derek a lot so depending on the fic, writing Derek's depression & struggles always feels cathartic to me, especially since I'm often in the midst of one of my fat depresso™️ waves when I write those fics LMAO 🤣

Favorite scene you've worked on this year: uhhhhh 👁👄��� tbh i have the memory of a peanut - aka i dont remember shit unless i just finished writing it LMAO also i have fav scenes in most of my fics so imma just cop out on this 🤣

Favorite piece of inspiration you've used this year: uh do people count as inspiration LOL i shan't tag anyone, but renmackree my love always inspires me 💛 & posts from hotgirlstiles & kittykatstiles always get my sterek engine revving ahaha 🌝 i did try out songfics for the first time this year (which i heard are easier to write but honestly i find them challenging?? LMAO)

Favorite line or lines written this year: my peanut memory is failing me once more lmao 💀 but i will try, ummmm lemme pick lines/scenes from a fic i havent mentioned in my ao3 wrapped either - "You're my god"

*2 hrs later* i got sidetracked rereading it lmfao

He tore a scroll just as Theo opened a wooden box, and Stiles came face to face with an old friend. A thrill ran down his spine. "Ah," he said with a smile as runes flowed from the scroll to the earth. "It's you. It's been a long time since you possessed me." The nogitsune blanched, if that was possible. "You—! It can't be!" Stiles laughed, finally standing up from where he'd sat behind Derek as he pulled his bat out of a swirl of wind. "I end all things that begin, but have no end. What am I?" The nogitsune took a step back, then another. Stiles strolled forward. "I end all things that begin, but have no end," he repeated, tapping his bat against his shoulder. "What am I?" Theo took one look between Stiles' smile and the retreating nogitsune and tried to escape—Scott pinned him down to the ground with a conflicted grimace. "C'mon now," said Stiles as Derek came to stand beside him on the porch, slashing down the wall of earth one of the gods conjured with a flick of a claw. "I thought you loved riddles." He slashed his palm, ichor spreading over his bat, and the nogitsune froze. "I end all things that begin, but have no end," he spoke, winds blowing. "What am I?" The nogitsune tried to flee, the winds blocked their way. They turned back towards Stiles. "Death," they said, and Stiles slammed a hole out of their side with a booming crack of his bat.

--

Heat radiated in thrumming, scorching waves as the blazing sphere of fire descended on him, and he waited for the last second, when all eyes would be on him, to open the crack once again; he waited for his skin to begin burning, smoking, to clench his fist with a resounding cra— Nothing but cold, cold air touched him. No breeze, no smoke, no fire. All he saw before him were clouds and for a moment, he thought that he'd been sealed away, until he noticed that the other gods still stood there, silent, staring at the clouds as well.  The thin clatter of an arrow dipped in liquid violet shot by Hoderi, God of the Sea, broke and fell to Derek's feet, an echoing pindrop amongst the speechless hush. It was only when Stiles' arms wrapped around him that he realized. The entire top half of the chamber had disappeared. Clouds stretched out before them past the razor sharp edges of the shortened walls, cut in a single slash so quick and clean that it cleaved through the walls in a soundless sweep like butter without anyone noticing until after the fact. And the cause of it floated behind him, arms looped around his neck—one hand lifted to cut an ichor-tinged line through the air, and Hoderi's head rolled to the floor. What remained of the chamber roared back to life. Attacks rained on them, but Derek just stared at the way Stiles' wet eyes blazed as the skies darkened and the clouds thundered with vengeful rage. Tears mixed with ichor left gold-tinged tracks on Stiles' cheeks, and maybe it was because Derek's vision darkened around the edges or because his body couldn't feel anything past the poison throbbing through his veins, but he brushed his lips against Stiles' face to kiss the tear tracks away, a barely there graze.

god sterek au my beloved

Written piece or accomplishment this year: all my fics are accomplishments to me ngl LOL the longer fics take more time & effort ofc but the shorter ones present a diff challenge 💛 is that a cop out answer lmao? the feral wind that lit him ablaze is the obvious one aside from Derek's Kumquat, but i'll also stick my 1st songfic golden hour here & "You're my god" bc the latter had a month deadline & I wrote that whole month & still had to cramwrite my ass off....LMAO 😭 totally my fault though for deciding to do god au worldbuilding for it frnjekfen

no specific tags, just an open tag from me if anyone wants to do it bc im late as shit & probs everyone has done this already LMAO

[chelseahotel2004]

haiii cleo first of all your sylvie lockscreen is so cute i love her hair <3 second of all what was your initial inspiration for blue contact and what are some of the influences you’re drawing from? also one time you mentioned time travel and i would love to know more about that aspect hehe

awwww thank you jules you are too kind!! ❤️😋 i wasn't originally going to put this under a cut but i got carried away with this ask LOL so ummmm.. good luck down there. huge kudos to anyone who actually reads this mess. i love you

there are two massive works of inspiration that i owe so much of the creation of blue contact to! the first is the song 'UFOF' by big thief. words genuinely cannot describe how important this song is to me - if they could i would not have spent the past three years working on a three volume graphic novel. the first time i listened to it i genuinely sobbed like im talking aching in my chest/utterly inconsolable. i knew there was something special in the song, but i didn't know just quite what. i started listening to it on repeat in an attempt to figure out just what it was that caused me to have such an intense reaction to it. every time i listened i found a tiny new sliver of a story about two sisters and an alien, and that story ended up being blue contact! i always say that i didn't "write" the story of blue contact and this ^ is the reason why; sylvie and mags were always there and i just had to find them. it's kind of like that michelangelo quote about seeing the angel in the marble and setting it free (not comparing myself to michelangelo here obviously LOL, just the concept). at the risk of sounding like a total crazy person i will say that truly sylvie isn't a character to me but an independant being/idea who i just so happened to be lucky enough to connect with in some way, which is why i am so desperate to tell her story ^_^ if im being SO genuine blue contact is my burden to bear and it has kept me going through so much... like in my hardest times i think 'well i can't kill myself yet because i haven't had the chance to share sylvie's story and i owe it to her to set it free/i can't let it die with me'. which may sound dramatic but is true!!!! because of my obsession with blue contact i have listened to UFOF so many times that it has actually become my second most listened to song of all time, being just narrowly beaten out by 'say yes' by elliot smith. i would post lyrics but this is already getting too long and every single lyric is equally as important as the next so just go listen to UFOF

the second major source of inspiration behind blue contact is the webcomic [:x.X//<angel_chain.05>\\X.x:] by cate wurtz! angel chain really did two things for me: firstly, it helped me decide that a graphic novel would be the best medium for telling the story of blue contact. i never intended to write a graphic novel (too much work to do writing AND art), but angel chain proved to me that it was the right choice. sigh. anyways, the relationship between edie and rue in angel chain helped to cement the dynamic between sylvie and mags for blue contact. obv angel chain and blue contact are very different stories, but it really helps to see a model of something similar to what i'm trying to achieve. anyways ily cate wurtz you are my icon

onto the time travel stuff! lowkey i shouldn't have teased the time travel because actually getting into what happens would mean spoiling the largest and most important arc/volume 2 lollll. so please forgive me for how vague and unsatisfying this is 🙏 what i WILL say is that it is not "time travel" in the traditional sense. the perspective of vol. 2 shifts over to that of the lady of perpetual flames - who i'm now realizing i haven't actually addressed much in any of my posts, sorry - who is in a sense a timeless being. she doesn't experience time in a linear fashion, but in a fragmented one. kind of like how a spider web is made up of with different linear threads that attached to each other to form larger image, if that makes sense? since the narrative is kind of taken over by the blue lady here, the perspective of time shifts accordingly, and we get to see scenes from janet+mags' early life before sylvie joined them, as well as seeing what future-sylvie is up to! in all these scenes 2007-sylvie is still there, but not in a "physical" way - more in the sense that her connection to the blue lady carries her along throughout time and makes her into the throughline that allows the events of the plot to happen without the entire universe collapsing in on itself. sylvie isn't the spider: she's the two twigs that the spider weaves her web between.

anyways i hope this was interesting and/or informative !! i love this story so thank you for giving me an opportunity to ramble about it jules !!!!!!!!

[flower-boi16]

"I Wanna Dance With Some Ollie" Is a Good Episode, Actually (A Response to The Alphajay Show)

Before I start this post I want to say that I am a fan of The Alphajay show, I really like watching his content and I think he makes good videos. That being said, however, the TGAMM segment in his "Ranking The WORST Episodes Of 2023" video is awful and just gets a lot of shit wrong to the point I especially have the motivation to debunk what he says in the video. So... let's just begin.

He starts off the segment by saying this:

"I Wanna Dance With Some Ollie is one of the worst episodes I've seen this year. And it's one of the most disappointing episodes I've ever seen since making this channel. And to basically summarize my video on it, the first season of Molly Mcgee builds up her character perfectly. You have the girl who moves from town to town. Wanting to build strong memories in her now forever home. Even if she was cursed by a ghost. Her positive aura radiated the otherwise miserable town and her ambition combined with her amazing musical sequences and solid comedy that took her do gooder attitude, and gave her a very much welcome edge for an amazing character who I rooted for to save the town and was ready to watch season after season of it....she threw all of that away for a boy named Ollie"

....what? No she didn't. I really don't know what Jay's talking about here? Molly didn't throw away her goal of enhappifying the town for Ollie, all she ever did was just get a crush on him. Saying that she threw all of that away for a boy seems kinda disingenuous to me. It just looks like he's mad because...Molly got a crush on a boy. Like, is she not allowed to have crushes or something? After this he says this:

"However this isn't just romance shifting a person into doing things that they otherwise wouldn't do because that's natural that's understandable. This is about a show, brut forcing a romance that otherwise wouldn't have made sense without understanding why people clammer over the ones done right. I brought up Spider-Verse earlier and that's a great example of romance done right. Gwen has her own life own motivations and her own cool aspects that are not connected to Miles. Likewise, as said in my video about Molly Mcgee, Luz and Amity from the first season of The Owl House worked because Amity had a life, motivations and cool aspects before liking and meeting Luz. Also the Grom episode wasn't the like the 5th episode that they went to. They actually built up the tension of wanting to see them get together."

Wait...does Ollie not have his own aspects that aren't connected to Molly too? Like, he's a kid who was taught to hate ghosts and became a ghost hunter, and he got a whole episode where he went through character development over his guilt about hunting ghosts, not to mention the whole conflict of his parents finding out he's friends with a ghost. Ollie also does have aspects about him that are not related to Molly, are the ones I just mentioned somehow not enough?

Alphajay is saying this as if Ollie's entire character is just about his romance with Molly and that his whole character revolves around her, but that's just objectively false. After that he complains about the episode "Beats you over the head about how much it wants to you spread the ship" which really isn't worth talking about so lets talk about the thing he says after that:

"You'd think the girl who went to the ghost world and defeated the chairman to free all ghosts would be a little bit more quick to explain why Ollie shouldn't be discriminatory towards all ghosts, especially Molly's best friend who is a ghost who gets caught and trapped at that very same concern"

Ummmm...

Alpha. Didn't she literally try to do that in Book Marks the Sprite? Ya know, the last episode these two interacted in before this? She did try to explain to Ollie that ghosts may not be evil but she wasn't able to convince him.

So after that he ends the segment and moves on to talk about an episode that I am assuming is from modern Spongebob. Again, I do like Alphajay's content but a lot of the stuff he said in this segment was just straight up objectively wrong. 

[sex-obsessed-lesbian]

The Tale of SOL's Highly Mediocre First Hypnokink Play Partner

CW: mediocre consent practices.

I realized that I posted this on Twitter but never on here, so for anyone who hasn't heard this one before, buckle up for the story of SOL'S Highly Mediocre First Hypnokink Play Partner!

It's the fall after i graduated college, I’m starting to dabble in the scene, I’ve found hypno tumblr and am like “omg this thing I’ve always fantasized about is REAL and people actually use it for SEX???”, and I go to a nearby university's kink group meetup about hypnokink.

As part of the class we pair up and try some stuff. I pair w/ this guy—a college senior, he’s actually tranced to files etc. so he knows a bit more than me at this point about how this works IRL. He does a perfectly middling progressive relaxation induction on me.

I say “Oh okay i think i see how this works” and proceed to ZONK him because like, I'm a good top and have good instincts (and also improv training).

And after that, we proceed to meet up a few times as practice partners—I still live with my parents so I come over to his dorm and he exiles his roommate (Jesus Christ i thought I’d be done with this shit when I graduated).

So the problem with this situation is that I never got a proper pretalk or explanation of what trance did/n't feel like, what hypno could/n't do or make you do, how safety and agency work... So I was both SO WORRIED about doing things against my will or losing control, AND SO WORRIED about it not working on me, that i was unhypnotizable and couldn't do the thing. I can’t realllly blame him, he was as new as I was, but it was… not a great situation.

The thing I CAN blame him for was when I was said “I don’t want any triggers” and he was like “aww come on a reinduction trigger would make it so much easier” and kept wheedling me about it. Not a good look.

(OFC part of the reason he really wanted a reinduction trigger was because he (like me, at the time) only knew how to do 10-minute progressive relaxation inductions, lolsob.)

And I think both times we got together I was like “Dude I’m a lesbian, I'm here for kink practice and I don’t want to kiss or get physical with you” and then at the end he’d be like “Waah I want to kiss you!!”

Against my better judgement I went along with it cuz like, we’d just been doing hours of kinky shit and I was turned on, but like. Surprise surprise, I'm a lesbian. (Also he... wasn’t all that good a kisser. Shocker, that.)

The kicker is, after the second time this happens, he texts me to say “So i just found out i have mono” like SIR I DID NOT EVEN WANT TO BE KISSING YOU AND NOW YOU HAVE MAYBE GIVEN ME MONO???

He did NOT give me mono, turned out I already had antibodies, and I didn’t ever play with him or see him again, so it’s mostly a happy ending but like… bruh.

But on a more serious note, I... still carry some of that baggage with me. (Though obvi this is nothing compared to many people's genuinely traumatic or abusive first hypno/kink experiences and i don't wanna take away from that!)

Never having gotten a real pretalk, going into my first trance experiences so scared (in both directions), feeling like a """bad subject""" (b/c he wasn't great at dropping me AND b/c I didn't feel comfy with him)... has really stuck with me, unfortch.

I am still unlearning that stuff, and so thankful to all the FAR, FAR SUPERIOR hypnotists who have helped me in this journey. It's also why I'm waging a holy war against people who use the term "bad subject" or don't give proper pretalks.

No one should feel uncomfortable when exploring this kink! (Or like, as non-uncomfortable as possible.) I hope it's a joyous thing for as many folks as possible! And that's why I have SO many thoughts about pretalk and framing for new subjects (see e.g. my class notes on Setting Your Subjects Up for Success).

So ummmm uhh thanks for coming to my TED talk, treat your partners right and don't try to kiss people who've explicitly told you not to kiss them, there are more kinds of inductions than just progressive relaxation, stay hydrated! <3

🦈 FIN 🦈