#so... goodbye blog

[slimeshade]

[risingsunresistance]

happy birthday king, i will never stop drawing you over random pigs i find 🐖

[starlooping]

this song has been stuck in my mind for several months tbh. everyone check out MAL DU PAYS (Monophobia) by @starvingnarcissistmusic (sorry for the tag) . its awesome. does a cool pose.

edit: as someone, who had thsi song stuck in my head for month i still somehow managed to get the lyrics wrong. electric chair for op (me). it's supposed to be '"if nowhere is home". oh well XD

[phantom-peachie]

hhhh,,, skyward sword,,

screams incoherently

[skullsemi]

Wow it's been a while! Hey how have y'all been doing? I've been fine and just wanted to thank everyone that enjoyed my disney art and this blog of mine so far! I've barely been posting since these fellow characters aren't the main thing crowding my mind at the moment. I won't be as active but I still see myself posting here from time to time!

Just wanted to say all that so this doesn't look like some abandoned blog, it's not a goodbye, it's just a see ya later ✨

In the meantime, have a fishing goofy!

[maukiki1-but-cringefail]

Transformers gartic phone (awful) (terrible)

featuring @machineryfucker (fuck) & @twilightbard (spinc)

[floweypilled]

im moving to a different blog, find me if you can ;]

[danganronpa-textposts]

thank you so much to everyone who sends in submissions

[thenonbinarydetective]

I don’t care about Timsteph as much as I care about Stephanie but if people disrespect the ship as a way of disrespecting Stephanie and I will die on that hill

[ask-kazuichi-sodaaa]

[//OOC POST!]

One of mod’s fav duos! [1/3???]

u get a doodle..

All the 3 r just Kazuichi centric cuz .. this is a Kazuichi Rp account!

[ask-nurse-curly]

We might finally have a fix to our phone situation. Well, as in, Noah knows a guy who knows a guy who says he’s dealt with something like this before, so we’re taking in our electronics to see him soon.

It’s almost…bittersweet? If it works, our messages, our conversations will no longer be broadcast. They will just be…ours. Strange to think about it, after so long.

But I’m sure we’ll have our hands full regardless. After so many delays, the the hearings are finally starting. And therapy is uh, a bit of an uphill battle.

More interestingly though, someone left the door open for Toby, and while he was out, someone else snuck in. Imagine my surprise when I came home to a very dirty and very sneaky cat. Anya wants to keep it — her — and I’m not so sure yet, but we’re taking her in for a check-up at the vet first in any case.

Things are okay, despite some of my worst efforts sometimes. And if this is really it, if this is the end of an era — it had a good run, I reckon. Who knew I’d find myself already a bit nostalgic for the chorus of strangers in my phone.

Won’t miss the pregnancy jokes though, that’s for sure.

[yellowjacketsource]

Jackie & Shauna (Yellowjackets, S01E10) "End of Beginning" by Djo

[rulerofthetanakaempire]

sigh-- HEY!! remember that one time you just- SCREAMED out to the whole damn class about my colored contacts and just embarrassed me in breakfast-!? yeah! why the heck did you that-!? HUHH!?? [ //OOC : link for context in case u haven't seen the post!! : https://www.tumblr.com/ask-kazuichi-sodaaa/784171877517148160/any-embarassing-or-awkward-moments-youd-like-to?source=share]

Hmph. The difference between the hues of the two of those orbs of sight was simply too jarring to ignore. There could have only been two or maybe even more reasons.

One, that you have been hiding a deep dark power inside of you that you had been concealing for so long with those contacts (aa you mortals call it) of yours or using your powers themselves to change their colours — which could have honestly actually made me gain an ounce of respect for you, but I suppose not.

Or two, that you had been possessed by a wicked spirit, maybe even a demonic overlord such as I. And in doing so, one of your eye colours had changed to signify it. Though, perhaps I would have just let you suffer through that possession until someone else decided to intervene... hehe.

[arcadequeerz]

[gxlden-angels]

I've had this account now for 5ish years now. I've been in therapy for years, not exclusively for religious trauma but it's a major part. I've gotten better. I have a lot of content here I could reflect on, but I don't think I want to. I like knowing I progressed. I don't like looking at what from. Usually religious trauma comes up in therapy as an "oh yea...." instead of by name now. It's indirect. Enmeshment. Parentification. Vaginismus. Scrupulous and Harm OCD. Alexithymia. Derealization and Depersonalization. Paranoia.

I'm like, a real adult now I guess. I have a bachelor's degree now. I walk this upcoming weekend. I live in a house and I'm renting out a room with my own money. It has a backyard my cat likes to run around in. I had a job interview in my chosen field today. It went well

Then I'll go back to my family for the weekend and I find out they're spiraling into AI generated christian conspiracy theory videos. Their pastor is preaching about Trump being the anti-christ, and any non-Trump or Conspiracy message is the same thing he's said for the past decade, sometimes word for word. My uncle is convinced he's a prophet. He tells a story about a girl that was paralyzed after not listening to his message. My grandfather is convinced us black people are the true Israelites and chosen people. I thought I was the only one medically neglected by my aunt who's a doctor. I was not. I show her my emotions chart app. She tells me it's good so I can recognize when I feel bad and remember Jesus's love until I'm happy again. It's not normal for your joints to pop out of place apparently. We all learned this at the same time. It's Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. That explains a lot. My grandfather fell asleep to a video about the Ethiopian bible and how other bibles were made to take out miracles by Jesus and angels again. The remote is lodged in his hand so we can't change it

Then I talk about plants and food with my dad and my grandmother. My dad jokingly complains about his mom making him garden with her all day half a century ago. I give her a little kiss on her forehead before I go. My dad sends me home with leftover peach cobbler he made. I eat it with my lunch at my job. I answer phone calls at a front desk. I paid real taxes for the first time this year. I go to therapy and I talk about everything from my sex life to my graduate school plans to my opinions about generative AI (I hate it). I'm like, a real, breathing adult that has autonomy I guess. I'm not even claimed as a dependent anymore. I built my own desk that I bought from Big Lots.

You get where I'm going with this right? I'm not cured or healed by any means. Far from it in fact. I still get a pang of anxiety using the lord's name in vain and a chill down my spine when manifesting feels too close to confessing. It's harder making a personal post about religious trauma now though. It's not necessarily that I'm cured, it's just so engrained that I've created atheistic excuses to stay stuck in my religious trauma. I can pinpoint the source of it if I think about it long enough, so I don't think about it long enough

I'm not afraid to think lustful thoughts because holding lust in your heart is a sin, it's because I feel like a creep. I'm not worried I'll be sent to hell if I make mistakes that take me further from Jesus, I just think making mistakes would make me a bad person and an asshole. These beliefs popped out of nowhere, of course. They aren't influenced by the religious trauma so deeply buried in my head that taking it out would feel like taking out the gray matter of my brain itself. I'm schrodingers's man where I'm only a human when I'm observed. It used to be a deity but then it was you. I'm observed by you and that proved I'm human just long enough to get by when I most needed it. I still have that problem, but I'm seen outside of here. I see myself more often too

I don't want this post to seem like a good-bye, because it's not. I'm just currently in a period of limbo and I feel like the next generation of religious trauma bloggers are rising. I'm too busy arguing with my therapist about why I'm a bad person in a way that doesn't just boil down to "I'm a sinner in need of redemption" in a desperately-secular way. I'm self-aware enough to know that's what I'm doing, but not progressing enough to stop yet. I think what will happen is I'll eventually get frustrated enough to give up on the secular origins of my mental distress. I think a lot of you are in a similar place. You're out long enough that it feels like it should be over. You don't live in the bible-thumping, belt-wielding, gay-bashing, hellscape you once did. You might even be no-contact. You pay taxes now in your apartment. But it's not over. It's still there. It's just harder to say it's Jesus's fault I'm like this. It feels like it's been too long to still blame the bible.

It's not. It's buried in your synapses and neurons and muscles and bones and skin and hair and teeth and it's hard to remember that after 5 years. It's not oozing out into your bloodstream and filling you with enough cortisol and adrenaline to fuel an elephant anymore. It trickles though like a leaky faucet. I think I've lost the plot at this point, but you get it

Like I said, not a goodbye despite what it seems like. I just have to remember that a leaky faucet is still a concern

[sainz100]

2024 Hungarian GP | x (edited)