#sobbing crying over them actually...
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sketch dump i did while i was on call with @killdevil
#šš. / visuals#šš. / my art#sobbing crying over them actually...#they mean the world to me. like i-#they're so easy for me to sketch and muse for.#granted the like ? 10 months of plotting will do that...#ANYWAY.#ft fuji & jiao/qiu. . . .#pregnancy /#RRRGHHAAAA RUNS AROUNNDDD#WUYA'S SO CUUUUTE!!!#even when she's angry she's still happy-
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I hate you. <33
Keep up the great work āØļø
*proceeds to shamble to the corner, Lloyd and Garmadon figures in hand and cries to bet on loosing dogs for the 150th time in the year.*
EHEHEEHE
Guess what? I've got more angst in the works :]
He stays miserable FOREVERRR š«¶š«¶š«¶š«¶š«¶
#āi will actually draw fluff of them somedayā i repeat into the mirror#i actually was SOBBING over them last night#as well as jay and nya#and my dnd oc skfjd#just all around cry session lmao#ninjago#garmadon ninjago
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see how i cry over fictional characters? very demure very mindful!!
#im actually sobbing rn#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd chapter 118#bsd 118#silly posting:33#:333#uzi posts:3#crying over them /gen.#I canāt do this#asagiri when i catch you asagiri
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i like to think that my mc has huge ass mer dca plushies & belphie takes them every once in a while
#art#obey me belphegor#obey me mc#rambles in the tags....#rmb#me talking about my mc should not be allowed + it makes me want to sit in the corner of shame#i HAD to get them involved. if i can talkabt obey me to the attendants then i gotta do it the other way round#which will be thru mammon and asmo... im sorry... but theyre the friend friends toter has in the devildom LOL#WHICH MEANS they experience the same shit my friends have to which is me crying over the sillies#they got levi (and satan) involved in the making of those plushies. i dont know how and why satan got involved i just know he was#this is like 100% something toter keeps a secret around the purgatory hall gang but solomon finds out and#this is just an excuse to punch solomon sorry#i love him like that#he's funny#also toter's just a TEENSY bit afraid of simeon bc yeah being with an actual angel is. yeah. what the fuck#luke doesnt need to know but also shit i gotta draw him w the daycare attendants now AAAAA#the plushies are as soft and comfy as my cloud plush (which is also what i like to think belphie's pillow is like)#(bc its so fucking SOFT AND COMFY i love hugging it and have brought it to uni at some point)#(we fucking LOVE these types of thingsi fell asleep after my test bc of it)#but ye comfy and big and they have arms = hugs#..........what do you mean i want to have them irl no i dont hahaha#sobs#i dont need another moon dissing me bc of my poor sleep sched#anyway more rambling they are not normal about the daycare attendants and HoL has to deal with it ssssssorry#louder than levi when it comes to these i fear... motherfucker looks at one thing and is just#āohmyfuckinggod five nights at freddy's security breach daycare and maptime attendant sun and moon?1!2?1ā#out of topic but mammon levi toter play mobile legends together and its HORRIBLE#hahahahhahahaahhahaha#mc rambles#must make new tag just in case i look for stuff bc ... i will forget š
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hello... please consider... yakumo in:
the classic traditional style qipaos
the modernised and modified ones
bonus: modified hanfu
he would look wonderful wouldn't he? all the more delectable and sashimiable?
ahaha...ahah...AHAHHAH.AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
#feesh answer#the more i scrolled the more manic laughter leaked out of my face. exolkoiddeploded really#i had no images to accurately convey my emotion. so i had to make one#BEHOLD! MY PHOTO COLLAGE SKILLS!!!!!!š¤£#did you really just have yakumo-coloured outfits ready and waiting somewhere in your storage??!#your curation feels like a personal attack even tho i know you just out here doin things for You#me normally: i want the most obnoxious ridiculous over the top colour combo and clashing finalfantasia10000belts mess----#me now: ok but there's something about that 3rd modern one. it's. so simple. but. i. but i......#i need him to be cute and helpful in the traditional ones. i want him walking around in the garden just sniffing pretty flowers#wait no i want him in one of th emodified ones just absolutely DESTROYING eiden's ---#waiT no I want him IN THE FLOWING ETERNALGARMENTS WITH HIS GLOWY EYES AND SOBBING POSSESSED DEMEANOUR BUT NOT ACTUALLY POSSESSED#so just glowing and crying. got it#WAIT NO-#god it's like all the things i used to be meh about or go 'what kinda character design is this'#now i'll see it on yaku and it's.....well......#those maiden buns? the lil twin baobao or whatever? hated thsoe things forever and always#then someone will put em on yakumo and suddenly everything is fine#WHAT IS HE DOING WITH THE LIL. ORBS ON HIS HEAD. I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYONE WHO WEARS THEM.#ONLY LITTLE GIRLIES. IS IT INAPPROPRIATE TO GIVE YAKU THE BUNS#BUT I. IF HE DOESN'T WEAR HIS HAIR LIKE THAT.#i will straihjtt up put steamed buns on his head#and force him to stay still and balance them#until i finish eating them all#it's a game of pile bread on the snake#i will require a stepladder#nu carnival yakumo
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AUUUU STOP THIS MOMENT WAS ADORABLE AND SWEET AND PRECIOUS AND MY HEART MELTED FOR THEMMMMM šš
(lots of writing under the āread moreā btw incase you want my personal thoughts on things!)
Before the episode started I has been bracing myself for the genocide route, but it seem like what we ended up getting was the pacifist route because NEVER would I have anticipated such an empathetic twist??? I was dead convinced that my hopes/dreams of Puzzle redemption were squandered and left to rot (they probably still are to some degree actually lol but oh well I can accept that heās a lovable psycho). And yet this episode does the impossibleā¦.giving us an unfathomably wholesome scene that helps heal his dejected inner child, even just a little. PLEASE this wasnāt something I was prepared for and itās gotten such a strong grip on my heartstrings right now. I love themmmmm holy shittttt <33
I didnāt think Meggy would step up and try to connect with him like that especially since she was so aggressively defensive when he initially reached out. And I like that even when she gets to speak to Little/Kid Puzzles her behavior is very stern at first lol. Kinda like a disappointed older sister who canāt be bothered to put up with him for too long. But using Leggy as a way to build that bridge again was so clever of herāand hey it helped lure him into false sense of security so heād get jailed up jskjsksp. Everyone wins I guess!! ALSO can I just say whoever composed the soundtrack (Zach Preciado for the rap segment specifically) deserves just as much praise as the voice actors because DAYM the layering of all those instruments and the seamless transitions into different emotional tones was superb :))
#SHUT UP IāM NOT SOBBING MY EYES OUT YOU ARE DONāT LOOK AT ME RIGHT NOW /j#naw kidding I donāt cry easily#although it did make me say āawwhā multiple times out loud and do squeaky happy noises#THIS EPISODE WAS WORTH THE WAITING YEAAAA#although I will say think we kinda buffered severally on the intended tone of what to expect from it#like I think the fandom collectively figured it would be intense and darker themes#probably more edgy and characters actually screaming in pain or fear#kinda leaning into a Jigsaw horror movie#but this was far more light compared to any of that soooooo jksjsksp#if anyone starts labeling this episode as ānot goodā maybe consider your own personal biases beforehand yea?#donāt get me wrong I do believe thereās valid concerns over how Puzzleās character will be handled going forward#given how heās not dead (THANK THE LORD ABOVE MY BOY LIVESSSSS)#and yea guess it was missing a bit more emotional weight when it came to the threat levels#BUT the Kid Puzzles & Leggy scene made up for any of those gripes in my opinion <33#HOW COULD ANYONE HATE THESE TWO LOVABLE PEEPS I WANNA HUG THEM TOOO#okay now back to animating for the MAP project :))#hplonesome art#WOTFI 2024 spoilers#spoilers WOTFI 2024#wotfi 2024#smg4 WOTFI spoilers#smg4 wotfi 2024#little mr puzzles#leggy & little mr puzzles#little mr puzzles & leggy
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Iām having an old fandom relapse and Plan3 is the only thing keeping me sane


#Iāve been sobbing over them for 4 hours#plan3#new vid just dropped go watch it#Iāve been rewatching the By The Way series and crying#stephen#actually stephen#hosuh#hosuh lee#hart#dare i say#danplan
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I fucking hate being traumatized because why am I bawling the hardest I've bawled in god-knows-how-long because someone I didn't even like that much berated Me. gasping wailing trembling and snotting over this for several minutes.
#personal#sanism#abuse mention#child abuse mention#I'm still not entirely done crying really. I'm just trying to stop and calm Myself. not doing well at the moment#because someone on the discord server mentioned trump's inauguration and I basically said 'I don't like trump either#but it's still important to keep pushing for change. who's in office doesn't change that' and he just. immediately escalated the situation#accused Me of not caring about oppression. I explained Myself further but he told Me to go fuck Myself and capped it off with#'you already admitted to being a fucking narcissist so why would i want to be around you' (exact quote BTW)#and I just can't stop sobbing. I don't know if I've cried this much since I was 13. I keep having to pause My typing because I start crying#I didn't hate him but I wasn't attached to him either. it's just that I have so much fucking trauma along these lines#so many instances of My mom putting words in My mouth. getting short-tempered with Me over benign remarks that I didn't understand#because I'm autistic. dismissing My opinions. making Me hide My feelings and issues from her#because she's made it clear that she doesn't trust people like Me#it's made Me have so much trouble handling even friendly social interaction. I've only just learned how to do that#I just can't handle having that same mistreatment forced onto Me by anyone else. especially with so little warning or build-up#and what makes Me break down even worse is the fact that I know I'll have to deal with him again#he wasn't even punished while this was happening. despite the server owner and other mod being online. the owner just said 'stressful day'#and the other mod started talking with a regular user about how it was uncalled for once he had already left the conversation#nobody even checked in on Me. even though I stayed online for a good half-an-hour afterwards. I only just logged off a few minutes ago#because the notifications from unrelated conversations started overstimulating Me#regardless. I don't even want to see him again. I don't want to be in the same server as him I don't want to talk to him I don't want to#but it's not a real formal server. it's a 'friend group.' and they've shown before that they prioritize keeping the peace#over actually punishing hostility. just a week or so ago I told them I wasn't comfortable with them using the R-slur#and someone freaked out over My complaint being 'politically correct' and left. he was brought back just a few days later. and before that#he had already derailed a previous discussion I tried to have about the word by sending gifs featuring it and redirecting the conversation#that sucked but at least it wasn't outright triggering. but I just can't stand the thought of having to be around someone#who treated Me so much like how My abuser has. that's the most I've ever had to relive My trauma because of someone else#that's the most anyone has ever mirrored it to Me. I just can't stand it but I know I'll have to be around him#I don't even know if he's gonna apologize. he's made it clear how little he thinks of Me as a human being. PLUS
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tragic siblings "regulus and Sirius" this, betrayal "Sirius and regulus" that
WHAT ABOUT THE ROSIER TWINS.
Evan who joined the death eaters to protect his sister and to make sure that she didn't have to join. Evan who at same time, betrayed his sister by getting the mark. Pandora who still died because of Voldemort. Pandora who's death got written off as "a spell gone wrong" when she was trying to finish what her best friend had died for. Pandora who had a DAUGHTER and didn't get to raise her child because she died. Evan who never got to meet his niece because he had to not associate with his own sister just to keep her out of harm of the Death Eaters. Pandora who died trying to stop the person who her brother pledged his loyalty to. Evan who died while fighting with a person on the side of the war that Pandora was on. Evan who got the Death Mark and immediately knew that Pandora would never forgive him. Pandora who truthfully never fully did.
Pandora Rosier who knew in her soul when her twin brother had died. Pandora Rosier who still cried because he had still been her brother.
Pandora and Evan Rosier. Siblings on opposite sides of the war.
#they make me sick#āEvan willingly and happy joined the death eaters in canonā IDC jkr doesn't know him like I do#he would never#Yes I'm aware that Pandora dying bc she was trying to destroy the horcrux isn't actually canon but idgaf <3#pandora lovegood#luna lovegood#evan rosier#Evan and Pandora Rosier#evan and pandora#they're twins#tragic siblings#Siblings on opposite sides of the war#marauders headcanon#marauders era#slytherin skittles#They makes me sob every time I think abt them too long#the marauders era#pandora rosier#They might be js as tragic as regulus and Sirius but y'all aren't ready for that conversation#Bc half of y'all still think that Sirius hated regulus#And y'all clearly don't understand sibling relationships </3#rayn rants#I was crying over them earlier#they're so special to me#:(
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Do you ever think about how Amane's warnings were either seen as threats (by Mahiru and audience) or as just test of patience (by Shidou)? Do you ever think about how Amane likely was just trying to protect the ones she cares about? Do you think she didn't actually want to kill Shidou, but felt like she had to to save Mahiru? Do you think that's why she's mad at us for not stopping him?
First MV, shows her helping a (cartoon) cat, getting punished, then promising to be good. Gets voted guilty and punished, giving a message that practicing medicine is bad and deserves punishment.
Second MV, shows what the punishment was and that the cartoon cat was real cat.
Do you think after that first vote result, she started to think of Milgram as the same as her mom? That Milgram has the same rules against medicine? That if Shidou continues to practice it, Milgram will punish both him and kill Mahiru?
Do you think Amane killed Shidou immediately after knowing that he was voted Innocent? Do you think she felt like that was a huge risk and that she'd get punished again, this time for ending a life too early before it was supposed to, but that she thought it was worth it to protect Mahiru from same fate that the cat she took care of faced? Or do you think she waited until she was voted Innocent as well, to get confirmation that it's acceptable to punish someone for breaking the rules? Do you think even then it felt like a risk given how close she was to being voted Guilty again? Do you think she's currently scared of what we'll do now?
Do you think she regrets the decision? Do you think she too blames herself now for Mahiru's death, along with millions of voices that blame her for it?
#Amane thoughts randomly spawned while I was listening to MeMe (vocals only) vers. on loop#Started somewhere after āthat moment at 02:33 mark sounds so angelic with how Natsuki Hanae's voice echoesā thought#somehow brain immediately connected āMikoto's voice -> аngеliŃ -> аngеls -> Gоd -> rеligiоn -> Amaneā#catch the subtle censoring so I stop getting those fuckass tumblr ads that keep showing up every time I mention those specific words#or go through Amane or Fuuta tags (scrolling through Amane and Fuuta tags and there's 99% chance I'll get jumpscared by rеligiоus ad)#Oh my gоd 99%... 99.. a 9.... Like... Like... 09... Mikoto reference... (fucking hell get him out of my head too. Why is here.)#Mikoto why are you fucking everywhere. I can't escape him either.#Mikoto thoughts would be at least bearable if they were actually easy to put into words in some way or another.#But they're such a fucking mess that I can't even do a āsomething something (insert vague ideas)ā with him.#Don't mind the tags. Focus on Amane post above. I'm just losing my mind in the tags. As usual. :)#Okay. Uh. Completely losing it Because Of fucking Mess Of Mikoto Thoughts aside. Back to Amane.#I actually believe Amane doesn't and never has hated Shidou. She may have been frustrated by how he brushes her warnings aside and how he#he would treat her as a child and. If minigrams are to be taken into account. how he never took no for an answer no matter how many times#she told him she won't eat the pancakes. but being frustrated with someone's actions =/= hating them.#She did not hate him. She did not hate Mahiru. She had nothing against either of them. She was trying to save them from Milgram's punishment#And when both of them ignored her warnings. She had to take matters into her own hands to try saving at least one of them.#It's 02:10 AM and I'm over here getting sad over a fictional child that is constantly misunderstood and seen as evil by the fandom#meanwhile a fictional man from same media won't leave my mind either. Help. Sobbing Crying Breaking down Shattering into millions of pieces#that. that last one. may have been a poor choice of words. given what fictional man it's about. š¶#Anyways. Throwing this into the wild. Good luck to anyone who's about to read this wall of text (post).#Double (... š¶) the luck to whoever also reads through this nonsensical second wall of text in tags.
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akdbdndjshdf
#feel fucking crazy sometimes ugh ik rn itās partially bc im kinda tired and i havenāt eaten#but like i do kinda wanna cry bc my friends be planning smth without me LMFAOOOOOOOOOO#it sounds so dumb :| ik itās not tho lmfaobscbdbdndndkkdksjdhekws#i honestly just need to stop thinking and eat smth or just go to sleep bc i rly donāt feel like#making food rn lmao but#idk i like writing out my thoughts here sometimes so i think imma do that ;-;#bc like my two friends who iāve been seeing nonstop lately mentioned getting pho w a group#and i def think i said i wanted to join#but they all like were talking abt it today and i think they started a gc to plan it and they do actually have plans#but idk shit abt it#and ik if i asked they would say i can join#but goddammit i could not bring myself to ask today#and honestly even thinking abt needing to ask makes me kinda want to cry#BRUH i wish i was over friendship exclusion bullshit#itās this one fucking friend in middle school who made me sob a million fucking times#bc she straight up ignored me when we were w other friends#and my friends rn donāt do that#but idk being left out of this gc has made me insane ig ššš#they canāt even all fit in her carā¦ā¦..#idk like they also never said anything directly to me abt it even tho they were talking abt it in my vicinity#they asked someone else if she wanted to go ;-; like kinda absently but still#i hate that im complaining abt this i hate that i feel fucking crazy complaining abt this#like i can totally see a world where i just fucking ASK and my roommates like oh shit ur not in the group i didnāt realize#but also i could be deluding myself#its literally. not that deep im seeing the two of them tmrw and i can ask when im not out of my mind#ugh fucking fuck sometimes i hate relationships#but ik to some extent that these ppl like spending time w me even if its hard to believe sometimes like rn ig#but to think i have to start all over in a few months and find those ppl again#šššššš« š« š« š« š« š« š« #anyway iām fine i need to chill and do something productive ššššš
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that girl in my english class that i hate forced me to send her all of my notes on an hour long documentary that she didnāt watch

#okay donāt read tags unless weāre friends bc lowkey vent under tags#personal#she literally leaned over me and forced me to send them#why am i doing her fucking hoemwork#sheās such a fugly bitch#sheās so clapped sheās such a mean bitch#i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her#i hate her i hate her#sheās such a munter she smells like so..? bodyspray#i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her#I HATE HER#SHES SO MEAN#SHE ROLLS HER EYES WHEN I TALK#SHES THE WORST#IM CRYING ON THE BUS#I CANT GO TO CLASS ANYMORE#I H A T E HER#actually sobbing on the way home#sheās so horrible#sheās way bigger than me too#sheās 6 foot and iām 5ā2#and she hangs out with the scary kids that do drugs#iām really upset about it she makes me hate my favourite class
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#i'm so tired of being so emotionally fragile that stupid things make me cry#i have so many actual real things to cry about and i can distance myself from all of them enough to get by#and then something small and stupid comes along and i'm sobbing into the sofa#over some goddamn socks. i didn't even think i'd attached that much meaning to them but apparently i did#i just wanted to be the hot goth girl i dream about being. and i let my principles slide enough to make mildly unethical purchases.#and now i am having a breakdown because it was all a waste anyway and now i have contributed to fast fashion and air pollution#and i didn't even get something nice out of it. i just get more guilt and more proof that fundamentally the problem is me#please ignore#mine
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not me lying wide awake at 5:30am on a sunday on my day off bc after almost a full year I finally FINALLY realized the implication of the end of remember them from the cyclops saga

#that song has one of the most powerful ending crescendo sequences ive heard in maybe all of musical theater#so it. always felt incomplete after ALL that buildup during the I AM THE INFAMOOOUS#only to just drop to SILENCE. no music. no fanfare. just ODYSSEUS!#he doesnt even really sing it he just sort of... shouts it#and then its followed by the faintest sound of ocean waves#its poseidon. listening. THATS why athena said DONT#poseidon heard that declaration and came back to get him later#š¬#i just looked up the lyrics for ruthlessness too and poseidon basically spells it out š#ive only listened to that song once or twice tho and i guess i wasnt too focused on the words#anyway i relistened to the songs on friday and theyve been rotating in my mind like a 7/11 hotdog#the whole cyclops saga especially is just.... so so good#they truly dont make music about bashing peoples heads in like they used to#the first 3 songs of the saga especially... oof#how they blend one into the other back to back and end up making like a 10 minute narration of events#the whole thing is so bone chilling#it gets my heartrate up lol#PLUS the theme of pain and vengeance bring more pain#EVERY time polyphemus says 'what gives you a right to deal a pain so deep'#and when odysseus says 'what good would killing do when mercy is a skill more of the world could learn to use'#rocking back and forth sobbing crying#remember them the next time that you DARE choose not to spare! remember them... remember us... remember me!#cant wait for everyone to turn their back on this musical in 5 yrs#like they did with hamilto.n#hamilto.n never stopped being good actually#yall are just embarrassed about being weird fanatics over people who rly existed
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i think my mafuyu moment hit me worse than i thought
#marloās stuff#i am legitimately crying. btw.#those clownsā¦ā¦do you see their happy little facesā¦..do you see how cute they areā¦ā¦ā¦..sobbing#oh i love them so much#oh i didnt know it hit me hard enough for me to start actually crying over wxs holy fuck
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Iāve finally finished P3R!
So now of course I must write paragraphs abt how much I loved it. Spoilers below the cut!
I can say without any hesitation or doubt that P3R is by far the best game Iāve ever played in my life.
They truly did such a wonderful job with remaking this game, so much so that it really makes me look forward to the possibility of more persona-remakes in the future. Iām so thankful that they stayed true to the original story, but improved where it was necessary. Iām blown away by every detail they put into this game, and how they managed to make even the menu screens absolutely beautiful.
Iāve always tended to get a bit sappy/emotional about games I really like, but I genuinely do believe that the persona franchise, specifically p3 and p4, have changed me as a person. Theyāve effected me emotionally, and helped me navigate the meaning of my own life. I got invested within the persona franchise at a very young age (I think I was in the 5th grade lmfao š), and it was the first game series I really fell in love with ā and that was only through watching playthroughs on YouTube at the time. Looking back on it, I think that itās what really sparked my passion for video games, and also game development in general.
I started getting back into the persona franchise about 1 and a half, maybeeee 2 years ago, and being able to reconnect with the games and fall in love with them all over again has been such a crazy cool experience. Playing P3R after playing the original p3 was such a joy, and I can confidently say it emotionally impacted me just as much as the original did, if not more.
Itās not often I feel the urge to replay a game right after I finish it, usually I have to give it a break for a bit, but Iāve already started my New Game+ run of P3R and Iām not feeling even remotely burnt out, which I think is another example of how much I absolutely adore this game.
AAANYWAYS if youāve read this far hi!! Rambling and getting overly emotional about video games is my one and only talent fr so thanks for listening š«¶
#please tell me Iām not the only one who cried and sobbed at the ending lmfaoo š#literally like. full on sobbing. tears streaming down my face and everything š#actually felt exhausted afterward fr. crying should be considered a workout idc#anyways WOOO I love this game sm yayyy#I still get teary eyed every time I watch the opening animation š LISTENNN#When I say this game raised me I really mean it bc 5th grade me was OBSESSED#5th grade me also should have had more internet restrictions clearlyā¦..#persona 3#persona 3 reload#p3#I do wish we couldāve had a Strega fight w all three of them though#but Iām letting it slide bc the whole takaya & jin shifting and coordinating attacks thing was cool as hell#love them#strega my dearest#stregaā¦save me stregaā¦strega save meā¦#this is about to become a strega fanblog Iām being so fr#ALSOOO tell me why Junpei is one of the most relatable characters ever bc my god some of his lines hit me like a truck#now that Iām reading over this thereās really not even spoilers#but the tags certainly do!#so Iām leaving it as a precaution#anyways. as someone who constantly thinks about morality and the balance between life and death in general#itās really no surprise this game has had such a big impact on me haha
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