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apathygender · 6 years ago

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I got my laptop working again and went looking around and for some god awful reason opened up pesterchum. all of my old logs are gone except for, apparently, something i did on my own three years ago because i’m a fuckin dork who missed playing with friends.

i will now put my silliness under a read more

-- twiceAggrieved [TA] began trolling carnivorousGravitation [CG] at 00:22 --

TA: KK.

CG: FUCK.

CG: NO. I'M NOT DOING THIS.

TA: ye2 you are.

TA: we have two talk.

CG: TALK ABOUT WHAT? HOW WE HAVEN'T BEEN IN DIRECT CONTACT FOR WHO KNOWS HOW MANY SHIT STAINED SWEEPS NOW?

CG: THE FACT THAT NONE OF US HAVE SEEN EACH OTHER OR THE PEOPLE WE CARE ABOUT MOST WHILE WE FESTER IN OUR PUSS FILLED BOILS WE CALL HOME?

TA: ii 2ee you're lo2iing your touch on the2e metaphor2.

CG: I AM NOT LOSING MY TOUCH, YOU GOBBLEHEADED FUCKFOOT. YOU JUST HAVEN'T BEEN AROUND TO HEAR THEM IN A LONG TIME.

TA: 2ure. gobbleheaded fuckfoot ii2 a cla22iic. my mii2take.

TA: ju2t get iin the memo.

CG: WHO IN THESE TEN THOUSAND HELLSCAPES IS IN A MEMO, VOLUNTARILY, WITH THE TWO OF US?

TA: youll 2ee iif you hurry up and accept my iinviitatiion.

CG: FINE.

-- carnivorousGravitation [CG] gave up trolling twiceAggrieved [TA] at 01:22 --

carnivorousGravitation [CG] RIGHT NOW joined memo on board #08152X.

GG: Thanks for coming, Karkat.

CG: WHOA HEY WHOA FUCK THIS. I AM NOT HERE FOR THIS GOD DAMNED MEETING.

TA: KK come on. thii2 ii2 iimportant.

CG: NOPE. NOW I KNOW WHY YOU DIDN'T TELL ME WHO IT WAS. I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING KNOWN IT WOULD END UP LIKE THIS.

CG: GOOD JOB, PISS SPIT. YOU ALMOST GOT ME AGAIN. BUT THIS TIME I'M NOT STICKING AROUND TO READ ANY OF THAT BLUE SUGAR THREAD CANDY DRIVEL.

GG: Karkat, please. It's about our friends.

GG: I'm getting worried.

CG: OUR FRIENDS? OH! OH FUCK! I FORGOT WE HAD THOSE!

CG: GET WITH THE SCHEDULED PROGRAM, HEIRESS OF CONFECTIONARY DEMISE. WE'RE AS SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS AS THE SCARRED VIOLET SEA CAPTAIN IS SURROUNDED BY ADORING FANS.

TA: defiiniitely lo2iing your touch.

CG: SHUT UP.

GG: Huh?

CG: NOTHING.

CG: THE POINT IS THAT WE DON'T HAVE FRIENDS.

CG: YOU DON'T HAVE FRIENDS.

CG: I DON'T HAVE FRIENDS.

CG: WE ARE SANS FRIENDS.

TA: we have each other. that2 two friiend2 each.

CG: INCREDIBLE. SOMETHING SENTIMENTAL FROM THE EMOTIONLESS TALKING COMPUTER SOFTWARE. WHEN WAS YOUR LAST UPDATE, CYNIC.EXE?

GG: Karkat!

GG: How dare you!

TA: no, iit2 okay. ii updated la2t niight.

TA: thii2 patch came wiith a fuck2 fiilter.

TA: ii have no fuck2 comiing through, therefore ii have none two giive.

GG: Sollux...

CG: HA!

CG: HA HA!

CG: THAT WAS SARCASTIC LAUGHTER.

CG: YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT.

CG: THIS IS WHY I DON'T TALK TO YOU PEOPLE ANYMORE.

TA: and yet you're 2tiill here.

CG: NO I'M NOT. THIS IS A FIGMENT OF YOUR PAN'S DEMENTED SLEEP DEPRIVATION.

CG: LITERALLY NONE OF THIS CONVERSATION IS HAPPENING. YOU ARE LOSING YOUR MIND, AND YOU NEED TO GET INTO YOUR RECUPERACOON BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

TA: iit2 defiiniitely two late.

GG: Guys, please.

GG: I know you haven't done this in a while, but we did start this memo for a reason.

TA: riight. 2orry, crockpot.

CG: HEY, I NEVER SAID I WAS PARTICIPATING IN THIS.

GG: You volunteered by not leaving the memo.

GG: Now shush your cranky mouth so I can tell you why you're here.

CG: RUDE.

TA: 2hut down.

CG: GO AHEAD, EYESORE.

CG: IT OCCURS TO ME THAT I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN LISTEN TO YOUR ASININE MONOLOGUING.

GG: First of all, I do not monologue.

GG: Second of all, you are darn right you have nothing better to do.

GG: Sollux and I were looking around this city, and we found some disturbing things.

GG: We thought you of all people would be interested.

CG: ME OF ALL PEOPLE?

CG: CAREFUL; YOU ARE BORDERING ON THE DISCRIMINATORY.

GG: Oh, please.

TA: 2hut up, kk. youll under2tand 2oon enough.

GG: We found some posters.

CG: WAIT.

CG: HOLD ON.

GG: What?

TA: thii2 ii2 actually kiind of a biig deal what could be iimportant enough iin your boriing a22 liife two iinterupt

CG: SOMETHING JUST CLICKED IN MY THINKPAN.

CG: YOU DICKNUGGETS WERE LOOKING AROUND A CITY TOGETHER?

CG: AS IN YOU WERE IN THE SAME PLACE AT THE SAME TIME?

CG: WHEN DID THIS START HAPPENING AND WHY DIDN'T I HEAR ABOUT IT?

GG: Oh my god.

TA: iit2 not liike that, you fettered mammalian fii2h fucker.

CG: IT'S EXACTLY LIKE THAT. YOU LEFT ME OUT AGAIN.

CG: THIS IS AT LEAST THE ONE HUNDRED THIRTY FIFTH TIME.

GG: That's an oddly specific number.

TA: iim 2orry, KK. you're riight. we 2hould have called you.

GG: Your the one who said we don't have friends and acted like you never wanted to speak to me again.

CG: OF COURSE I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU.

CG: WHY DO YOU THINK I LOG INTO TROLLIAN EVERY NIGHT?

CG: DO YOU THINK IT'S FUN TO STARE AT A LONG LIST OF "OFFLINE" CHUMPS WHO I USED TO SCREAM AT ON A REGULAR BASIS?

CG: I'M A SAD LONELY CHILD, JANE.

CG: I MISS MY FRIENDS.

TA: damn way two lay iit all down out of nowhere.

CG: YEAH, WELL. IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

GG: Karkat... I'm sorry.

GG: I didn't think that you might feel the same.

CG: WELL, I DO. DO YOU REALIZE HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE I'VE SEEN MY FAVORITE COLORS ANTAGONIZING ME IN A CHAT WINDOW?

TA: iit2 been a long tiime.

GG: Too long.

CG: NO KIDDING.

TA: then what do you 2ay two joiiniing u2 iin the biig ciity.

CG: WHAT?

GG: That's a great idea! Then we can just show you what we found instead of trying to describe it.

CG: WHAT BIG CITY? YOU HAVEN'T SAID A NAME OF YOUR LOCATION AT ANY POINT IN THIS EXCHANGE OF TEXT.

CG: YOUR LACK OF SPECIFICS IS GETTING IRRITATING.

CG: ALSO HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET TO SAID LOCATION WHERE YOU'VE BEEN SPENDING AN UNKNOWN AMOUNT OF TIME TOGETHER?

TA: look out2iide your wiindow.

CG: I SWEAR TO TROLL CHRIST, IF YOU ARE FLOATING OUTSIDE MY WINDOW RIGHT NOW, I WILL THROW MY ENTIRE DRESS AT YOU.

TA: relax, iim not floatiing out2iide your hiive.

CG: FINE.

GG: I wish I could be there right now to watch this.

CG: FUCK.

CG: YOU LIAR.

TA: ii diidnt liie. ii 2aiid ii wa2nt floatiing.

TA: iim 2tandiing.

CG: IT'S THE SAME PRINCIPLE, SNOTFACE.

GG: Snotface? Are you four years old?

CG: I AM IN SHOCK RIGHT NOW, GIVE ME A BREAK.

TA: he2 al2o bur2t iintwo tear2.

TA: 2o hone2tly, you are the 2notface.

GG: Aw, Karkat! Don't cry.

CG: I AM NOT CRYING.

CG: I AM PISSED BEYOND RATIONAL COMPREHENSION.

TA: alriight, 2top typiing at me whiile 2tandiing iin front of your wiindow.

TA: jane ii2 waiitiing for u2 back at the hou2e.

CG: ARE YOU SERIOUS?

GG: Completely and totally.

GG: Please come along. You can pack if you need to.

CG ceased responding to memo.

TA: lmao iit2 two late. he2 already run out the door and wrapped hii2 arm2 around me.

TA: what a biig wiiggler.

GG: Hoo hoo hoo!

GG: Don't lie to me, Solpatch. I know you're crying too.

TA: 2orry, lo2iing connectiion. bad 2iignal here.

TA: 2ee you iin 2even miinute2.

TA ceased responding to memo.

GG: You're a horrible liar!

GG: I can't wait to see those tear stained faces.

#homestuck #good lord i even took the time to edit it like we used to in our groups #smfh nostalgia is not good for me especially homstuck nostalgia #jane crocker #karkat vantas #sollux captor

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