#sometimes... the internet is really great
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honestly people saying TMA has great asexual representation is kinda weird to me
it’s mentioned ONCE, offhandedly and not even by the asexual character
i’m happy we got SOMETHING, yk? but it’s not exactly… like proper representation, I think?
well anon the reason why people say that is because of that exact reason ? the fact that it wasnt treated as a spectacle and was a once offhanded mention is important to a lot of people when a lot of medias put a weird extreme focus onto the sexualities of characters . to me i really appreciate that too as someone on the asexual spectrum because that's how it is in real life ; you don't constantly discuss your sexuality , sometimes it just gets mentioned once and never brought up again . i feel like the internet also puts a strange want for people to disclaim what they identify as once asked or just in general somewhere on their profile which definitely plays into it being seen as ' lackluster ' representation . there is no better way to represent an asexual character than just going ' well , they don't do that ' , especially in something like the magnus archives . i doubt jon would be very open to going I'm Ace for no reason and i cannot see how they even wouldve put it in except for that way ! - deceit
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made a Reddit account to get on r/ProPresenter and ask questions because I have no clue how the actual technical aspects of this program work, I just know how to run it, which is one of my biggest issues lately, and holy crap. several people have given me more helpful advice in the last 6 hours than anybody I've spoken to irl has in the last month 😭
#sometimes... the internet is really great#Lu rambles#to be fair my church admin called somebody at the same time I made my post who gave us the answer#but I've gotten some more details from the redditors and also wow. I have a place I can ask people things.#people who know way more about this than me. that's amazing
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the way i think about learning and education changed sm compared to when I was younger
#like i cared so little about school when i was younger (altough maybe now i might do a little too much)#but not just that... i thought i'm just not that person who can do well at school#i can't memorise stuff well enough and i'm probably stupid anyway but who cares about that stuff and school#and i won't need it for life anyway other skills are important in the real world anyway that's all useless#i guess i also had that idea that one day i will just come up with some grand idea or business type thing to make money#i mean that's also that kind of stuff u see all over the internet and i def saw too much of that#and sure that's possible but how often and even then is it even so great having that type of job where ur never off#and like other jobs which are achieved though education have a lot of beauty too and there are many great routes which require education#at first i didn't even want to go to uni because i was so sick of school and i believed i wouldn't belong there anyway bc of those reasons#and because i thought i was too stupid in that way to make it#i also had this weird view of looking at some smart people as know it alls or being pretentious and i didn't wanna be all that??#still don't know why i thought that?? it honestly sounds sooo stupid and i also thought i wouldn't fit in with uni students anyway...#like i'm so different... couldn't have been more wrong#i never felt more belonging than at uni like this is where i'm supposed to be - the great people i met there and friends i made#and my awesome professors#i actually admire some of them so much 🥺#like i wanna be like them - whatever path i will end up in jobwise#might become a teacher too or even a professor (dare i dream lol) or sth with media could also be a great option 🤭#but what i mean why i admire them sm they're so intelligent but also many of them such great people#like empathetic helpful and idk i just love smart people#they're so well spoken and i highly value people who really know their stuff well by now and they certainly do#but not only that also having such great general knowledge u can have such interesting conversation with such people#and many professors actually have opened my eyes to many issues of our our world and made me rethink and change some of my views#or just things i wasn't even aware of bc we all live in our little bubble at time at least i certainly did#only obsessing over my little life and sometimes turning the head away from cruelities elsewhere#and i feel being an intelligent person is actually so cool now and i wanna know important stuff on many topics but especially...#about what i then can use for my future job or whatever i do in life and nothing i learn feels pointless now or almost nth#but even then useless stuff in school it wasn't all for nothing if u had approached it the right way#just learning by itself can teach you important skills and knowledge like how to learn - how to memorise stuff the best way...#or finding out what ur capable of and growing ur self esteem it's all valuable in some way
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vaguely speculating on the vocal synthesis industry like its fantasy football completely unprompted: if somehow either synthv or cevio managed to get a hold of nurse robo type t for a commercial AI voicebank i think that would usher in her era fully. we're already basically there with how much her talk banks and occasionally her utau banks are used in so many songs..... i keep saying this but i think the nurse robo era is nigh..........
#i mean this not in a vocaloid6 haterism way but i dont think her getting a v6 bank would give her much original song usage popularity#like i dont really hate v6. its a little expensive for me for its quality rn. but i like hearing others use it and see what they do!#but straight up i see so few original songs using v6 banks. like im actively looking im not joking where are they#i liked that one tsuina v6 demo song by eo a lot i thought v6's vocoder worked well with an odd piano tune like that#but i barely see any v6 originals its crazy. im going deep in vocadb. im doing boolean searches across the internet...#actually there is a few exceptions - i see a lot of kazehikiv6 originals. una too. sometimes gumi but not as often anymore#i dunno maybe its hard to mix v6 voices? it lowkey sounds hard to mix in my humble onion orz#actually the more i use cevio/voisona the more i understand why its so popular for japanese original song producers#i dunno it has a speedy workflow + a sound that works well for japanese pop music i think#i would love type t on either software but i do think shed do fantastically in synthv2 because of how much that software thrives in#whispery breathy vocals. i think shed sound great. cevio seems more likely tho. or. cough.#something that rhymes with bace budio. but recently theyve been burning more bridges so maybe we're safe. maybe.#of course id personally also love a diffsinger or neutrino or i dunno. voicevox song. no one ever makes voicevox song banks.......#but the commercial software is easier to use and especially for original songs: u can use em in ur dawwww#of course i say all this but i dunno if type t's management is like. active.#im just saying all this because nurse robo type t keeps whispering in the background of half the new songs ive been into recently#so shes on my mind LOL
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I was at a "making friends" kind of social event just this past week and ended up having two subsequent conversations with different people that gave me an interesting reflection on my own reasons for writing without me even intending to make the conversation about it.
First conversation: The person talked about the feeling of awe from being at a music concert and how incredible it is that so many complete strangers can be united by a singular love of music. I related to it with regards to my own writing and how many people have read my stuff. Ended up telling this guy about some of the AO3 comments I've gotten from people to the effect of helping motivate them to live/just reflect on life in general. Somehow went into a tangent about a suicidal friend of mine who died when we were in high school, and me saying that maybe the reason I write so much about the things I do is because of the influence his death had on me. And the other person ended up asking me, 'So do you think it's like every time you write, you're doing it in his memory in a way?'
Subsequent conversation was with someone who was a psychologist for a day job, and I ended up telling them that I was kind of thinking of getting a degree in psychology/therapy one day because writing about mental health issues had gotten me so interested in the world of helping people heal themselves. But then I was also like, "Well, I don't know, it could be that I don't need to become a psychologist to help people with mental health. Maybe helping people by being a writer and telling stories is enough."
It was just a surprising, but topical realization for me to have talking to a bunch of strangers. For someone like me who's often preoccupied with doing and having knowledge and expertise, I often fall into the idea that you need to be directly involved in helping people to really be making a difference. I've literally had thoughts in my mind along the lines of "I'm so smart, hardworking, and dedicated when it comes to writing, but wouldn't it have been so much more of a net gain to the world if I'd decided to be this passionate about something like being a doctor or activist that actually helps people?" It's not like I truly regret being a writer (or ever will, because there's nothing else that I love so much), but in my bad moments I truly do sometimes think "Why does it make a difference if I entertain people or make them feel nicer for a while if it doesn't actually change anything in the world?" To quote one of my favorite Transformers fics of all time, "There was nothing that would have been more worthwhile, but that didn't rule out the possibility that the whole damn universe was wasting its time."
I guess the answer is that making someone feel better, even in a small way, is changing the world, even if it's just a few people, and even if it's just as simple as making someone's day better.
#squiggposting#deeply personal shit just bc i feel like it and have been brooding on the final topic of this post#(if me being a writer is a waste or not) for a while#idk man it's the internet which is great bc it means i reach so many more people than i would without it#but it also means i don't really see the impact i have unless i'm told or happen to find it#i feel a little bad sometimes. like i should be more grateful for what impact/acclaim/positive influence i do have#but a lot of days i just feel...numb about it? i don't want to say i'm taking it for granted or feel entitled to more#i also talked about this to one of those people: that i have a hard time feeling things sometimes#both in a clinical depression way and that sometimes i just can't summon the emotions i think i should be#idk man i think i'm just at a point in my life where my identity (and honestly health) is in too much flux#and i'm also so damn lonely that i keep overthinking things that i shouldn't#venting#it's just weird to me how i sometimes think i feel too much/too hard and sometimes i don't feel ENOUGH#i think it doesn't help that like my dayjob is something i only generally find interesting but find no fulfilment in#so like. writing is pretty much what i've got to make life feel like it means something#everything else feels like it's something i'm forcing myself to do or is part of some long term plan or is an obligation#or something i 'should be doing'. writing is the only thing that i do and i push myself in bc i love it#if that doesn't mean something then nothing in life means anything
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I just want a life where my mom isn't so much of an asshole that on like a bi-monthly basis my eyes hurt by the end of the day from crying so hard cause she's such a fuckin giant dick
#like. I cannot stress enough. no one else in the family wants to deal with her NOT because of her disabilities#but because of how much of an ASSHOLE she is#and like. I can accept that some things are harder with her cause her mental faculties are like. idk#not great#so *sometimes* she maybe doesn't understand something or whatever#that's never been a problem for me. like she doesn't really ever remember how to use her ATM card. whatever. I help her!#it's INFURIATING tho to try to have any conversation with her when she's permanently on the fox news IV drip#like. it's insane. she's SO combative abt a lot of stuff it's to the point where I KNOW#if she went to a therapist they'd have her on new meds like *that*#it also doesn't help that numerous times drs have told her like you definitely have other diagnoses#things I wont list here because it's not my medical history but let's just say YES HOLY SHIT SHE HAS THOSE#but she literally doesn't want to be ~crazy~ so she got a new doc and got them to REMOVE THE DIAGNOSIS#said it was in error she doesn't have those#she 100000% does. and if she were on meds for them and in INTENSIVE therapy#with someone who was REALLY qualified to treat THOSE issues she might do better#I'm just SO tired bro. I'm 36 years old#and I continuously have to drop whatever I'm doing to handle every little thing for her#my internet went out I know its 8:30pm but it's out! I can't log into my hulu!#like. it's so much. and I make like. seriously not enough money. and I don't get enough hours#and this has been my WHOLE LIFE. when I was in high school I wasn't even paid for it! I was going to school and basically#parenting her and my brother#I'm SO TIRED bro. I'm so tired. I'm stsrting to cry again ughhhhhh I just really needed to vent#delete later#erin explains it all
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#i forget that tumblr is almost entirely american#because a lot of my mutuals are european#and a lot of british#presumably from liveblogging eurovision and bake off each year#but uh#its kinda annoying when you make a post where youre like hey british mutuals what do you call this thing#with a not british option in the poll#and just a lot of americans start reblogging it and being like ''in true usamerican fashion i clicked before i read''#and its like#i made this poll mostly because i wanted to know how many other british folks call them x#i probably should have been more specific but i wasnt expecting it to get more than like 10 notes#usamericans#thank you for telling me you call them that#but in this such case#i really do not care#not everything is about you#especially when we specify in posts its not#i know its because most of the internet is americanised so yall just assume everything is about you#because most things are#so i shouldn't really be surprised in anyway#but is it too much to ask you guys to at least read the post before voting#i mean i deleted the poll because i do not want to see more tags from it shdjsjjskd#and im writing this in a tag vent post because i dont want to just insult an entire swath of people#because i know a lot of americans and you guys are great#its just frustrating sometimes lmao
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Man, going back into the archives of my blog reminded me about all the really creepy anons and creepy weirdos who used to send me messages back in the day. I’m very glad that the anons and messages I get lately are nice and people are 99% friendly but, wow… back then…… those were pretty wild times…
#my followers back then ran the gamut from gross YouTube funnymen to sex fiends to people demanding I post selfies#…sometimes they were all three… 😑#plus the standard death threats for hating the reboot/having bad takes/being a woman on the internet#I have to say that tumblr has really mellowed out lately and I’m glad for it#most of the people that made this the true hellsite left so… phew! 😮💨#honestly you guys have been super great ilu all 💖
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firefox are you fucking stupid
#is it just me or have spellchecks across browsers and word processors gotten so much stupider over the last few years#is the closest word im looking for arboreal? is it? is it REALLY the only word? do i need to install another language extension so#scientific latin can reliably checked? bc that would be extremely stupid#yeayea the solution is to just Get Good(tm) but sometimes i'm only a letter off & libre will be 'idk man i have zero fuckin clue'#and like that is your entire job! that's the only reason your code exists mr spellcheck function!!! to check the damn spelling!!!!!!#i can give libre a tidge of grace but google docs & firefox? now that is more annoying bc you are the literal internet & directly connected#to where the knowledge is supposed to live 😑#getting gaslit by my computer into being worse at spelling <3 the future is so cool#like even now as i type my whines i'm like 'am i SURE im not spelling it wrong? b-o-r-e-a-l-i-s are the letters im looking at right?'#so it's especially not great for people like moi who uh already often struggle to trust their brains iykwim#harrumpph.... whatever.............
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im back on my 'never shutting up about animatics i cant make' bullshit but like, orv and changgwi by ahn ye eun anyone
#i think this is like the third time im talking about this song on my blog but consider: its REALLY GOOD#ive seen many wildly different translations of this song (both english and chinese bc this song went a bit viral on cn internet a while bac#so yknow. not great. cuz i cant speak korean. but anyway#i call it the evil spirit tricks you into getting eaten by a tiger song but like idk i feel like some of the lines work rly well#got introduced to this song via absolutely incredible arknights chongyue animatic on bb so yknow#add this to the pile of 'potential animatic songs that also constantly make me think of other (better) animatics'#oh but thanks to that animatic for the idea of every time the lyrics go 'come lets dance' the visuals is just a fight scene LMAO#idk im just constantly coming up with new animatic ideas because the longer its been since i finished my last one the more i realise how#god AWFUL it is like idk if other people get this but i sometimes get youtube videos with like 200 views recommended to me for no reason#and a while back i was looking for like. an ado song or something and i got my own animatic as a sidebar recommendation???#like youtube what the fuck? anyway yeah my god its really not good#im not like. blaming my past self for it necessarily i planned that with the editing power of IMOVIE in mind thats why it looks Like That#but my god i want to make a new one so bad just to prove that i can make something better#like i got capcut now i can actually fucking edit.#asto speaks#orv
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Today I was helping run the booth for the local queer non-profit at the farmer's market and a woman told me that she would like a flag, pointing to our little bucket of flags. So I picked up the bucket and I brought it over and asked her which one she'd like.
"Well, tell me about them!"
"Oh! Okay! This one is the inclusion flag- its for everyone, including allies."
"What's this one?"
"That's the bisexual flag: it represents people who are attracted to two or more genders."
"Hmm... what about this one?"
"That's the nonbinary flag: it represents people whose gender isn't strictly 'male or female.'"
"Hmm... what's this purple one?"
"That's the asexual flag: it represents people who may not feel sexual attraction the way that others do."
She put her hand to her chest and got this really curious look on her face. "Tell me more about that!"
"Oh, happy to! So like if you're out with your bestie and someone real fine walks by and she's like 'omg look at him' and you're like 'girl get a grip?' Or like you just don't get what the 'big deal' is about sex or why everyone is so weird about it? But there's also room for like- you don't fall in love with the way someone looks, you're attracted to the person- their sense of humor and their kindness, or there's something about their personality that just makes it click for you? That's asexuality, too!"
And she got real quiet and seemed to think about it for a minute. So I grabbed our little informational sheet about different queer identities and handed her a copy. "If you want to do some research, this is probably a great place to start."
She thanked me and took an ace flag, stuck it in her hair.
Sometimes when you're online all the time, its easy to think that 'everyone knows about (topic), there's no reason to keep talking about it so much.' But while the people on the internet are real people, the internet ISN'T real life. And there are lots of people who do need to know that they do have community!
One of the jokes is that I'm a lot of people's 'patient zero' for discovering that they're queer. This is why.
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ill be real I was extremely high and looking through old gaming magazines when I saw that Dweenle and ive been obsessed with that post long since the weed wore off
would you give him your last nid berry...
#it was an ad for some game ive forgotten there were a few others but that was the funniest#ill have to go thru my history and locate the source sometime#looking at various magazines on internet archive is a really good high activity#my faves are magic trick/toy mags and old pc gamer stuff. also old dnd publications#lots of great stuff to look at sober or otherwise
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"this website uses cookies" fucking why. i wish we hadn't named it that, so cheap and unthreatening. a cookie can be anything from a single data point to actively tracking your usage throughout websites. and if you try to research it, you overwhelmingly get (ad-placed) cheery and chipper responses that "cookies are useful data tools that help websites to help you!"
one article suggests cookies allow for "more personalized websites." i do not want them to know how to personalize their website for me. what they really mean is "make this website better for advertisers." they are not going to turn the website a nice shade of my favorite color. they are going to put ads up they think i like. so it's not for me.
okay sure. it makes shopping easier! okay, great. spend money more! happy advertiser. but then why the fuck when you google how long cooked chicken good for are they skimming your data. why when you google can my dog eat tomatoes are they skimming your data. why does mixing bleach and vinegar bad? require someone skimming your data.
so now you slog through AI responses because sometimes the AI tells you no worries! cooked chicken can never go bad and all dogs go to heaven. something about this feels like being 13 before google was really-a-thing when you had to be kind of clever about how you used Ask Jeeves. what is even the point anymore. half of these sites are not written with human hands anymore. we are creating an infinite digital graveyard in order to give advertisers more space, more billboards.
you have to find the first reputable-looking site in a list of GORP.COM/HEALTH. and when you click the first thing it says is can i skim your data? and meanwhile yes bleach and vinegar bad, you've made chlorine gas.
and meanwhile! yes! the infinite digital graveyard. the internet turned into a true highway: devoid of life. endless paved monotony. the exit sign blinking - this website uses cookies.
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Actually, I think this does link in with a wider conversation that I have been thinking for a while Tumblr maybe needs to hear.
There's a common meme on this site now that no one here has any reading comprehension skills. The best one is, of course, the original "No offense but reading comprehension on this site is piss poor/How dare you say we piss on the poor" post, which gave rise to the nickname "pissing-on-the-poor website". There's also the "I like pancakes/How dare you say waffles are terrible" one. Both of these are great, because they're silly jokey ways to show two closely related phenomena that are probably the commonest ways to fail a reading comprehension check.
The first is someone reading certain catchphrases or buzzwords in the post, and based on their own biases or prior experiences or whatever else, their brain simply fills in what it reckons the poster is saying on the topic. Instead of reading the rest of the sentence and digesting it, the reader then just uses their assumption as the interpretation, and reacts to that.
The second is closely related, because it also uses biases and prior experiences to to interpret the post, but rather than ignoring what the OP is actually saying, it instead performs a series of gymnastic leaps to construct a whole new assertion on the OP's behalf that simply isn't there.
There's also a third, of course; that one is people being so eager to feel smug and superior over someone they perceive as Bad that they wilfully assume the OP is stupid or being serious when they're actually joking. And if the reader hadn't been so blinded by their desire to get to look down on someone, they'd have seen the very obvious tells, sometimes even including sentences like "Obviously this is a joke." (I think we have all seen examples of these. Also, in a bid to avoid as many reading comprehension fails here as possible, this does not include misunderstandings borne entirely of neurodiverse struggles to parse intentions; but, neurodiverse people are just as likely as neurotypicals to have ego play a part in their misinterpretation of others, and that is what this point is about.)
And the thing is... actually, we are all capable of any of these. I imagine a sizable chunk of people reading until this point were probably thinking "Lol, yeah, people are so stupid," but na, nage, I'm not having that. Literally everyone does these sometimes. And it becomes a particular risk when the topic under discussion is something that might brush against an issue that is a pressure point for you, like a social justice talking point that you are forever having to argue with internet strangers about, for example. Your brain holds schemas! And sometimes it likes to pattern match things before it deigns to tell you about its findings! And that can hit you right in the emotions, which if they are strong enough, really can shut down all rational thought.
But. This brings me to the real point of the post.
Because the thing is, we have all saddled up and gone to war under these conditions, or at the very least been strongly tempted to. And a vital skill that literally everyone has to learn, sooner or later, is:
Before you hit 'reply', double check the post to make sure you fucking understood it.
And that does not mean "simply re-read, confirm your bias, carry on." It means, "Is it possible to read this post from the point of view of someone who doesn't intend it the way I've taken it? If I put myself in the shoes of an innocent, could they still have written these words? Is there another interpretation for these phrases?"
And you do have to do this step. You simply do have to. Because if your desire is to 'clap back' and call someone a gargling knobskin made of garbage, fuck me sideways but you must see that it is imperative that you check if they actually deserve that kind of treatment first. You cannot spend your time claiming that we must all choose to be kind and then not bother doing your due diligence before screaming a person's various and assorted bigotries at them. If you misread it, and they were innocent - you are the raging aggressive cunt in this situation.
It does not matter that you reacted from an emotional place of normally having to defend yourself either, by the way. Sure, that makes the quality of your human soul better than that of the average Redditor who just enjoys anonymously hurting people, I guess? But it's also irrelevant. If you messaged someone and called them a misogynist because you performed several mental somersaults and landed on your own sore spot when they meant no such thing, you are the attacker. You owe them an apology. And yeah, sure, you can explain your over-reaction as the product of your normal experiences if you like, but that is only an explanation, not an excuse. You are still the asshole here. You still need to apologise and mean it.
And you could have avoided it if you'd done that due diligence, as you should have. If you're going to take a swing, make sure it's the right target. This was once described to me as donkey people - they don't think, they just kick. This is admittedly a little unkind to donkeys, who always do their due diligence, but I feel it's an apt metaphor.
TL;DR: If you feel moved to angrily reply to something, first make sure you've interpreted it right. Don't be a donkey person. And if you ask for clarification, people are innocent until proven guilty. Ask nicely. If they are a bigot, you can then smelt them for parts.
#I reckon anyway#mileage may vary I suppose#but this has certainly made my life a lot happier to stop assuming everyone was attacking me#and to stop getting into pointless fights with no good or satisfying ending#this has been this week's Gospel According to Elanor
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going to say sth controversial yet brave which is that some of you just don't know how or don't want to be entertained by media that's just passably okay
#yes I'm talking about the new atla. hence the controversial yet brave. but also in general#istg no one on this site can just watch something for a good time#like the new atla series for example. was it great? no! was it an enjoyable way to pass a few hours on my weekend evenings? YES!#but no one on the internet wants to watch anything anymore unless you're either hatewatching or expecting it to be the greatest thing ever#sometimes!!!! its okay to just sort of like something!!!!!#its ok to watch something just to have fun!! and you can like some parts and not others!!!! it doesn't have to be all one or the other!!#also the atla fandom specifically needs to release their death grip on the source material. its literally just a cartoon from the mid aughts#a REALLY GOOD cartoon. but a cartoon. that aired on Nickelodeon dot television dot com when u were 9#its literally just mass media it exists for profit. calm down
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⭒ crush
| hamzahthefantastic x youtuber!reader au
summary: hamzah has a crush that is extremely obvious to everyone except you ... somehow?! (both written & smau!!!)
a/n: happy new years!!!!!!
— march 2024
hamzah is hungry beyond belief.
martin's already assured him both over facetime and text that he's on his way with their full course meal of chinese takeout— currently sat in the basket of martin's rented bike, jostling up and down with every bump of the toronto pavement without a doubt. yet his stomach is still throwing a tantrum, depraved of any nutrients while his brain repeats in a neanderthal-like manner "food. coming. soon." in hopes of reducing the pressure within his poor stomach.
he opens instagram, needing some sort of an escape, because naturally a little doom-scrolling will ease his (dramatic but still very real) pain. somehow, among the ridiculous animal reels and comedic twitch clips on his explore feed, he stumbles upon a reel from you. a girl with a different quality and charm to your face and character than anything he's seen in other content creators.
not only does your bubbly yet elegant voice keep him watching but the subject matter is rather fitting— you're cooking a homemade chicken pot pie for the first time. in the video you talk about how often your mother would prepare it growing up and now it's become a popular craving for you. hamzah watches intently as if he were ready to get up and make his own pot pie alongside you.
"hey! the hell are you smiling at?" martin's voice is breathy due to his trek to and from the chinese restaurant. he walks into the living room holding a crinkly plastic bag reading: "thank you! have a nice day!" with that big, yellow smiley face in between.
"huh? nothin'." hamzah dismisses and adjusts himself on the couch, "come on, 'm starving!" he reaches his hand out to take the food from martin before patting the seat next to him.
ᡣ𐭩 •。ꪆৎ ˚⋅
— june 2024
"so when are you gonna come see us?"
it was a surprise to see hamzah follow you on instagram a few months ago. you'd heard his name thrown around in certain spaces of the internet but never really indulged in any of his content.
his instagram had the format of a shitposting ten-year-old but it only made you curious about the humorous twenty-something. eventually you'd watched a youtube video of his; completely laughing your ass off and finding your eyes chasing after hamzah whenever he was in even the tiniest of frames.
it was never a serious crush by any means, just a nice piece of secret eye-candy who also happened to have a great personality and an enviously good work ethic (the effort martin and hamzah put into their videos was astonishing to you).
so you were quite nervous to be the first to dm him, in hopes of a friendship or a least a quick exchange of "hey." it was only right — you two had been liking each other's poss and stories a consistent amount.




the mellow first exchange between the two of you in april blossomed into you both constantly talking in your free time; your friendship quickly to developed a flirty back-and-forth dynamic that sometimes borders on way more than platonic. eventually martin was added to your consistent facetime calls and you’ve even let them convince you to create a discord account to play minecraft and grand theft auto online with them.
and now you’re lying on your leather couch with both of their faces displayed in your laptop’s screen, eager to hear your response.
“i don’t know…” you play with a loose end of the sweater you’re wearing, “what would we even do?”
they both stay quiet for a moment before hamzah laughs, “why are you acting like you don’t wanna say yes right now?”
a smile slowly grows on your face “okay… gimme a second,” you begin to google flight information to and from toronto.
ᡣ𐭩 •。ꪆৎ ˚⋅
— september 2024
yourusername

Liked by clairedrake, hamzahthefantastic, and others
yourusername Y’all didn’t tell me they get wild in the 6 , Omg??!! Highly requested video out neow <3
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chaserutherford 🍽️8️⃣ • ♥︎ by author
yourusername I rlly do miss u already 😖😖😖😖
ynfan01 ohhhh this was so necessary thank u mother☺️!! • ♥︎ by author
yourusername Mhm!!! Olivia Wilde head nod 💞💞
slushieeee333 y/n: slurping pasta , hamzah the whole time: 😊👀😍😊
thatmartinkid hey look ma i made it!!! 🫵😂 • ♥︎ by author
ynsnumberone THE FLIRTING WENT CRAZYYYYY
slushedyn her and hamzah are obsessed with each other i fear
thatslushykid COME BACK 2 TORONTO ASAP I NEED MORE COLLABS RN!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
hamzahluver45 ok but like it’s so obvious that her trying to flirt was just irritating them the whole time !! Like girl ..💀💀
hamzahthefantastic Posting our dms is already one thing , but TAGGING ME is actually crazy 🤔🤔 • ♥︎ by author
yourusername R u mad @ me Bby???? 😕
hamzahthefantastic BruhLmaooooooooooo
freakzahfan that's one too many "o"s just say u wanna kiss her my boy
ᡣ𐭩 •。ꪆৎ ˚⋅
“oh!” you accidentally trip over yourself while walking backwards and stumble into hamzah, who was standing in front of the unfamiliar grocery store, watching you prepare to give an intro. “jesus,” martin laughs under his breath from behind the camera. he lowers the camera, showing his feet but still picking up his voice in the mic, “you good?!”
the clip cuts to you stood upright again, "i'm in the six!!!" you exclaim loudly, raising your arms above your head. "and i'm here with slushy noobz to add to my series where other creators "teach me" their specialty. you tug at hamzah's arm and pull him into the frame with you, "hamzah tell them what you and martin are gonna teach me," you look up a him while still holding onto his arm. you interrupt him before he even begins to speak, "oh yeah! martin is also here by the way!" you point and martin flips the camera to himself. "they're just leaving me out it's fine, i know i'm out already, just vote just vote," he references with a sigh before turning it back to you and hamzah. "don't start! chase is on his way to come and film for us-" "listen! this is our plan-- we're gonna teach you how to mukbang; everyone knows we're very qualified in this field and know everything there is to know about the subject, so, uhh, yeah we're kinda experts. i dont know, would you say that, martin?" hamzah rambles. "yeah, i think that's a good way to describe us" "perfect! then you're teachin' me how to kiss next, right?" you ask. hamzah goes from looking at you attentively (hanging onto your every word) to a face deadpanned as he glances over to martin trying not to smile.
the video cuts to a clip with the three of you, finally, all in one shot now that chase is behind the camera. you pull a cart out from its slot and push yourself on it before standing both feet on top of the tiny foot bar, gliding through the automatic doors.
next, a clip of martin speaking to the camera while you and hamzah look through different pasta sauces together, "okay we didn't really explain this well but essentially we're all going to cook a nice dish and then eat it together in front of you guys. isn't that cute?" "yeah, can't wait for us to mukbang together" hamzah speaks. martin turns back to the camera with a smirk, "i bet you wish you were mukbanging with us huh, chase?" "no. and you just made that word up." martin's face falls.
the entire grocery shopping trip is filmed with little moments like hamzah mispronouncing a few brand names, martin talking to strangers about which pasta noodle to try, and you randomly walking off into estranged aisles "just to see if things are really different here"
now, you're all back at martin's home; you read aloud the recipe and hamzah is stood practically on top of you as he also looks down at the phone, all while martin lays ingredients out of the counter. "okay simple enough," hamzah says. "yeah, and you're still gonna make me do all of the work anyway," martin huffs sarcastically. you giggle a bit, "martin the most you'll have to do is boil water, i'll force him to do the rest." "huh???!! who??" hamzah questions, his smiley face “accidentally” leaning far too close to yours. "you, duh!" you laugh and turn away to look for a large pot.
throughout the cooking process you slowly stop helping; talking to mandy while you two eat chips and salsa while leaning on the counter or petting the pets instead of doing any of the tasks given to you from the self-proclaimed chefs.
"this is literally your video! what the hell y/n?!" martin whines when he finds you and mandy making a tiktok in his "man cave" together after you'd told them you were going to the bathroom, "seriously mandy?" all of the audio can be heard from the mics on your clothing. "where was she?" hamzah says monotonous as he scrolls on his phone. "making freaking tiktoks with mandy of course!" you giggle as you walk into the kitchen behind him, "what? the food is practically done, we're just waiting on garlic bread!" you shrug and hamzah immediately turns at the sound of your voice. "well, you gonna at least show us?" hamzah asks casually placing his hands on the counter around you, trapping you in the space between him and the marble surface. "yeah," you tilt your head so you can look at his face as you make fun of his not-so-friendly gesture, "you wanna keep breathing down my neck like that while i show you?" he laughs and moves away to cover up the embarrassment of being called out. "stop!" you laugh and bring him back into frame forcing him and martin to watch you and mandy dance on your phone screen.
the four of you sit on the carpet with plates full of chicken alfredo and pieces of garlic bread laid out on martin’s coffee table. you all talk about your experience in toronto so far, how you and hamzah first met, … et cetera.
martin attempts to teach you canadian slang: “keener is big here.” “actually? what the hell does that even mean?” “it’s kinda like a try hard— people will call you a keener if you’re doing too much, basically.” “wait tell me more!” “i mean things like buddy is way too common here. some random old guys will call me that and it always throws me off??” “yeah they always say it so demeaning,” hamzah laughs. “do you guys actually say ‘eh?’ all the time? i feel like i haven’t noticed it a lot.” you ask genuinely. “i won't lie.. i say it more often than i like to admit!” mandy says. you’ve noticed that no matter if you’re the one speaking or not hamzah’s eyes keep glancing and sometimes full on staring at you (he really doesn’t mean to but he thinks he’s finally processing that you’re actually here with them after months of wanting this) you're flattered nonetheless.
at some point hamzah and martin recreate a scene in lady and the tramp, successfully slurping at the same noodle until hamzah retreats and martin sighs at his lack of commiting to the bit. you laugh along before asking hamzah’s to share a noodle with you with a smile slapped over your face, “me next?” he fights off any blushing with a roll of his eyes and his response of, “yeah? ask me again in a sec.”
after you’ve all finished eating, you complete the video with a big smile and a promise of more collaborations in the future.
ᡣ𐭩 •。ꪆৎ ˚⋅
•••
#hamzah the fantastic#hamzah x y/n#hamzah#hamzahthefantastic#hamzahthefantastic x reader#hamzah x reader#hamzah imagines#martin and hamzah#slushynoobz#slushy virus#slushy noobz virus#slushy noobz#hamzahthefantastic fanfic#hamzahthefantastic x you#hamzahthefanatasticxreader
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