#sopping wet pathetic beast (literal)

[weepingalaxy]

i love shipping brian with people who need to learn how to rest. it is my favourite activity

[sparklecarehospital-archive]

Doom is an incredibly complex and tragic character and that makes the fact he has the backbone and social skills of a wet napkin So Fucking Funny

[hotniatheron]

people have no shame. you're going to ship murtagh with ORRIN? WHEN NUMBER ONE WIFEY FOREVER NASUADA IS RIGHT THERE?

[teruthecreator]

gimme 1 and 17 dialtown ☎️

hiiiii griffin i hope you're having a good time at graduation. probably not since u sent this ask but hey man i get i too was on my phone during graduation. anyway

1. the character everyone gets wrong

oh boy where do i start with this. i mean like. tee bee aych i feel like most people have a fundamental misunderstanding of randy. like he's not pathetic for pathetics sake he kind of intentionally puts himself in the worst situations imaginable to feed his worldview of everything being bad for Him specifically and no one else. the fandom kind of babygirls him? like treats him softer and generally makes him more of a shy uwu guy rather than a person stuck deeply in his own fractured worldview that is intentionally letting himself get worse. like randy's whole route is about making him realize his happiness is His Choice, His Decision and not a work of fate/luck/unseen outside force that he has to relinquish control to, and everyone just goes "yeah but what if we make him sopping wet uwu yaoibait guy with oliver".

speaking of oliver i feel like EEEEEEEEEVERYBODY makes him way too wacky and not actually grounded. like, despite his many odd mannerisms and such, he is still one of the few characters who has a job and is able to Maintain That throughout his route (though, of course, in the good route it changes). oliver is a pretty stable guy, all things considered. sure he talks funny and has a general inclination for the ridiculous, but a lot of people kinda coke him up and let him run loose like he's a wild animal. and i think it's more fun if you ground him in a place of reality and then let him play. instead of being the guy to drag people into stuff, let him be a part of a scenario and see what his reactions are. much more fun. also i feel like a lot of people forget how, like, awkward he is? like he tends to apologize when he says really outlandish/forward shit and seems to view Himself as a "freak" in a way that would suggest he's aware of how he stands in comparison to most people. like dude knows he's weird, and that's not Always a good thing.

and yknow what while im talking about the main dateables i would be remiss to bring up karen because like. WOW. i mean this is a problem with most fandom spaces unfortunately but the way people straightman her is so fucking sad. like people forget she literally quit her job on a Whim because someone vaguely suggested leaving and she went full throttle. karen is impulsive and karen makes bad decisions based on rash judgments and she is generally not that hard to goad into doing something stupid. i mean, she agreed to a date with gingi. twice! that takes some real loose grips on impulse control to just go along with that. like sure she is a bit more deadpan than, say, oliver, but she does have a sense of humor. she likes to use sarcasm! she has wit she has sass. also she is like. INSANELY jealous and i feel like a lot of people dont hone in on that aspect of her being the reason why she is sometimes so rash. she is fiercely protective of those she considers "hers". she wanted to Kill A Giraffe because gingi liked it. she is jealous she is rash she is impulsive PLAY IN THE SPACE STOP MAKING HER THE DEADPAN STRAIGHTMAN ITS SO BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

okay that's enough of that but just know i could've done it for every character

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

maybe i am insanely ridiculously biased but there should more content of mingus and norm. or just mingus. or norm. those two are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fascinating and i feel like people kinda gloss over that. like they're similar beasts in their rampant paranoia and flawed perspective on callum/the world and they butt heads about it like crazy. generally their dynamic is one of the most interesting parts of chapter 3 to me and i feel like there really isn't enough chapter 3-focused content out there. we should talk about these guys more. and if i have to stand on a podium and take a stand there should be more content of MINGUS. girl is the driving antagonist of AN ENTIRE ARC. BASICALLY THE WHOLE GAME IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT. AND NOOOOOO I DON'T SEE HER ANYWHERE. IS IT BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T FIT IN YOUR FOUND FAMILY DYNAMIC? IS IT BECAUSE SHE'S A WOMAN? I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DIRECT YOU PEOPLE TOWARDS HER BUT I WANT TO. if my brain was functioning at the capacity it was last july i would've written ten million fics about her i have so many days. alas, i don't know if they'll ever happen... (but if people were curious i would gladly share)

but in a slightly more biased take, i think there needs to be more normingus in the world. how we were the chosen few to proclaim the good word of normingus is beyond me. like don't get me wrong i'm happy tryt had its impact but JESUS CHRIST I SHOULD NOT BE THE MOST POPULAR. SOMEONE ELSE COME TRY AND PLAY IN THE SPACE WITH ME. I CAN GIVE YOU IDEAS. I CAN GIVE YOU SO MANY IDEAS.

[aeipathism]

also these. God. they put something in this dynamic and I am but a simple man

im so possessed by whatever hugo and lycaon have going on. trying to tally their marriage/divorce rate could be a grad level math class. I need to study them

[sadboytournament]

ROUND TWO

Propaganda

Orpheus: Everyone else in that game is a smoking hot babe and here's Orpheus, banished because he was too sad to play music and then when you bring him back he still sits in the corner being sad until you fix his marriage. Even after he gets his happy ending he just has sad vibes

Kit the Fennec: He is literally a sopping wet beast. Some guy who was taken by a scientist and experimented on until he lost all of his memories and now exists to serve another. He has water powers. His nickname is Drippy. Basically, if Tails from Sonic was sad and more pathetic

[splatsvilles-fashionista]

I know that I'm super late about this, and everyone has already talked about it at length, but if you're not caught up on the news then the reason there's an evil pirate clown staring at you on your dash is because of Netflix's live-action adaption of One Piece, which started airing today and tumblr's apparently doing some kind of promotional thing for it. The clown is Buggy, and he's first major villain of note the protagonists face off against.

Having been a One Piece fan for almost as long as some of my mutuals have been alive, I like him, but I understand that not everyone's into a clown staring at them 24/7. That said something I want to say about this whole situation is that I find all the animosity towards him super funny because his whole thing is that he's one of the most pathetic men in the entire series. Just the most sopping wet beast of a guy you can imagine. True cringefail malewife material. No one respects him or takes him seriously even in the slightest.

The thing I am getting at is that all the disdain he is receiving is in character. Your scorn is literally canon-compliant, and that's just so funny to me.

[stop-spreading-this-poll]

Round 1 Poll 75: Either one or the other

Durarara!! submission:

LITERALLY every single piece of information wrt """"""sociopaths"""""" as it relates to izaya. it's either ""izaya is a SOCIOPATH because he's doing this all for the lulz (he's not) and doesnt care about anyone (false)"" OR ""izaya's NOT a sociopath because he feels remorse a scant few times (that actually IS counted under the ""lack of remorse"" criterion, if you do feel the emotion but justify it it still counts) or he has emotions (you can have aspd and have emotions) or has character depth (""""sociopaths"""" arent 2d caricatures guys)"" no matter what its just a gross misinterpertation on what aspd ACTUALLY IS, complete with using outdated terminology. durarara fandom shut the fuck up about sociopaths EXCEPT FOR ME because i actually HAVE aspd. usually i'm a big champion of ""you CAN write abt the experiences of a demographic you are not a part of"" bc as long as you do research its chill. but none of these people did any research and i'm done being nice. shut the fuck up

Warrior Cats submission:

Mapleshade is either a cool serial killer who was perfect at her murder and was a girlboss through and through or she was a pathetic sopping wet innocent beast who deserved better with zero in between

[eightdoctor]

please elaborate on the Paul films you think are good (I’m assuming Withnail is one of them lol)

hello thank you for the ask!! i always love getting them :3 but yeah upon looking at pauls filmography ive realized ive seen wayyy more of his tv stuff than his films (most of which are kinda just really bad but made good by the fact i get to look at him) and i think his tv stuff is usually way better than his movies so im just gonna go through all the movies ive seen. with him

i should note im literally mostly ranking these on how paul llooks in them. because i watched these during quarantine and its all a blur

withnail and i <- literally my favorite film of all time i can quote the whole thing. i watch it in my head when im bored. it changed me irrevocably. i love it and also paul is justsuch a wet sopping pathetic sexy beast in it

paper mask <- ok i did like this one. it's kind of insane and an entertaining watch and it's one of his movies that ive actually seen multiple times. paul plays the banjo and sings in it a bit and he's also really cute in his little outfits while committing medical malpractice and identity theft

the doctor who movie <- you already fucking know what i think of this one baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the biographer <- oohhhh he's wearing glasses...... and a cute sweater.........i found this one interesting enough. i think

hotel! <- blantant fucking airplane! ripoff but still kind of really funny in my opinion if you like that sort of humor. peter capaldi is also in here

the rainbow <- isn't good but you get to see his bare ass and watch him run naked in a field so that has to count for something i suppose. i also think it has his first ever sex scene in it so it's funny to watch

dealers: this one is about the stock market and i dont remember shit from it but i sure did watch it !!!!!!! but hes a little business boy in a little business suit and even wears a turtleneck

catherine the great: this one is only for the most skilled paul mcgann watchers as his brothers are in it and literally i can't tell them the fuck apart. and i dont remember anything in it except paul has a scar (hot)

lesbian vampire killers <- this fucking sucks. james corden is in it. it's supposed to be a comedy but none of it is funny except for the parts with paul :)

the monk: not good in the slightest but he has a tonsure which is hilarious. to me

downtime: it's fine i think. im putting it last because i cant even remember what he looked like in it

[ballsballsbowls]

Had a Very Important work all-hands meeting at a weird day/time with an undercurrent (from my normally very friendly and casual manager) that this stuff was Serious Business, unlike all of our other meetings.

Probably 66% of the meeting was how he is changing the process we use for holiday scheduling for 2024.

Hours later, I caught myself thinking, "I suspect someone complained about it, which I don't blame them, but there's a nonzero chance that they have complained on my behalf. They saw me working two Thanksgivings and two Xmas in a row (which I literally chose to do) and I came off as such a pathetic sopping wet beast that they are upset watching it."

[beifong-brainrot]

Remembered the SUPERIOR animated Beauty and the Beast.

"Stories from my childhood" Slaps. Literally almost every single one of their stories slaps except for the one with the rooster and the old ass car that one was weird.

But god the beauty and the beast one. It's beautiful. The beast is genuinely likeable. Plus he looks so pathetic.

Look at him. Hes such a sopping wet cat. He looks like he makes the laminated papervsheet wobbling noise. Him and beauty (who is named Anastasia) are genuinely really sweet together. I don't know if I pick up a lot of romance from them but I adore their relationship all the same. Like I'd always got queerplatonic partners from them.

Also shout out to Anastasia's dad and his 'best friend and travel companion'

Like what is going on here guys

[samuelroukin]

Blessings upon you and your keyboard!

(this is about you writing Soap as a pathetic sopping wet beast of a man. I need more)

KSJKJDHFT thank you and you're sure to get it because i literally can't resist doing that to him

[zalerazz]

(knows very little about enstars) top 5 enstars?

oh fuck yes here we go, not necessarily in any order

1. Mika Kagehira

He's a silly little guy. A pathetic sopping wet beast. A kitten left out in a cardboard box in the rain. He's so strange and bizzare. He once almost buried his roommate alive. He goes "Ngaah". He rescues thrown away plushies and fixes them. He carries around a picture of Shu everywhere?? He's a little weirdo with a huge heart I wanna ruffle his hair

2. Shu Itsuki

He's just as weird and strange as Mika but on the opposite end of the spectrum. He laughs like "Kakakaka!" what's up with that. He used to be a really shitty person but he's been through a lot and grown and changed and I'm proud of him!!! He's still a bit of an ass but he cares a lot and that's just who he is.

3. Arashi Narukami

God I love Arashi... Arguably one of the more normal characters in enstars tbh. She's such a sweethearttt and she would do anything for her friends but has a hard time asking for help... relatable tbh. Her voice is one of my favorites in the whole game bc holy moly it's so fucking beautiful???

4. Ritsu Sakuma

I don't say this often about characters, but he's literally me. He has delayed phase sleep disorder (basically nocturnal),gets weak in the sun, and has a chronic pain condition. Literally did the writers base him on me?? He's clingy and likes attention, much like a cat. His friends compare him to a shadow; he's always around, but can be pretty quiet. He also gets jealous and has abandonment issues. It's like looking into a mirror I swear

5. Sora Harukawa

Sora is very often misunderstood by the fandom at large which is very sad bc he is so special to me!! He's very extroverted and talks in the third person, and some people kinda dumb down his character which is very not him. Despite his young age, he's extremely emotionally intelligent. He used to mask a lot before joining Switch, but he feels like he can truly be himself now with the support of his friends. He gets along with everybody and treats everyone the same regardless of how strange they may be. My one gripe with him is that his synesthesia is really unrealistic; synesthesia doesn't exactly let you see people's emotions or see if people are lying. But regardless, I love him.

ty sm for the ask bagel ♡

[huahualania]

Alright who’s ready for hotboy summer

[sadboytournament]

Round One

Propaganda

Kit the Fennec: He is literally a sopping wet beast. Some guy who was taken by a scientist and experimented on until he lost all of his memories and now exists to serve another. He has water powers. His nickname is Drippy. Basically, if Tails from Sonic was sad and more pathetic

Muichiro Tokito: His mom died from a sickness, on the same night his dad died trying to get her some herbs. Then, a year later his twin brother, Yuichiro, died trying to protect him from a demon. He ends up killing the demon and laying next to him until they are found. He survives and trains to become a demon slayer. Tokito suffers from amnesia and doesn’t remember his past until a battle with a very powerful demon. Also he get chopped in half by his demon ancestor lol.

[sowlmates]

the winternight trilogy is excellent in many ways but the best thing for me was how surprisingly pathetic morozko was. he is introduced as this immensely powerful immortal who you expect to be cold, detached and badass but as soon as you get to book 3 he has the worst time ever. he does not want to be here. he just wants to sleep. he's translucent. he's a sopping wet beast. he's literally melting. he's down bad for a woman who wants to see the world burn and he's going to be so pathetic about it