#source: diary of a wimpy kid parody tweets

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

Janus: if Virgil goes on 1 more rant about Instagram cringe normies stealing his original memes, I will use his own power to take his breathing privileges away

[the-spooky-children]

Pump gets sick of everyone's shit when he gets older

[the-spooky-children]

Lila: Skid just returned from his school trip to France and said his "work there is done". What could this mean?

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

Virgil: Virgil Sanders has died

[the-spooky-children]

Based on this

[the-spooky-children]

Roy: So, I was playing a gig today and some guy told us we sucked. I was gonna go down and straighten him out, but one of his friends screamed "shut up, Dimitri!" before I could get to him. I dropped it, knowing that any man named "Dimitri" has already been fucked over by life enough.

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

Virgil: I hate getting all political and shit, but *points at Remus* what the fuck is that?

[the-spooky-children]

Pump: I'm sorry to inform you that Roy is alive and well

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

Roman: Logan can't spend any more of my money because I converted all my liquid assets to Dogecoin

-

Roman: let's say, hypothetically, I've lost $15,000 in the last 24 hours-

[the-spooky-children]

Ross: so today Frank whipped up a batch of his famous "Frankjacks" and they were... well, they weren't actual flapjacks... or pancakes... or food... Yeah, he just put a cigarette out in my eye.

[the-spooky-children]

Susie: We had to annihilate Pump after he took my computer to watch the "Annoying Orange" at 3 am.

[the-spooky-children]

Roy: feeling good, might beat up some 10 year olds

[the-spooky-children]

[the-spooky-children]

Robert: I'm experimenting with some new stuff when it comes to music. You guys like loli gangsta rap?

[the-spooky-children]

[the-spooky-children]

Robert: I'm starting a drug cartel with Ross, who wants to join?