#source: suck-my-pineapple

[lucem-stellarum]

So there's a thought here

The vamp bois have used the phrase "I can taste your blood through your skin", or something to that same effect

I'd like to think it's metaphorical. Just another way of expressing the "I want you, I need you" in flowery language, to disguise the blurriness between the ideas of humans (partners) and humans (food source)

But what if it's not? If it's literal? My memory is failing me, if the redacted universe has canonically established that things like blood type affect the taste of their meals, if that's something vampires would preferentially select for. Adam, iirc, says he likes the taste of certain emotions like fear and panic.

Again, iirc from my intro to psych class, there isn't a whole lot of difference physiologically between various emotions. The example was, if you go to an amusement park or scary movie for your first date with someone it might make them think they're more attracted to you because the heart pounding/sweating/etc isn't actually different so fear and arousal/attraction can "cross wires", so to speak. But hormones can have effects on your mood, and even if they're not in large amounts it is detectible by machines (depending on the hormone).

Does general health make a difference? Could they, for example, be able to telll the difference between, say, a diabetic human? Does diet? The whole, eat pineapple and avoid yogurt/cheese for a few days before sex because it changes the taste is generally accepted as true advice. Blood is how basically everything is circulated around the body, so it would make sense for vamps to be able to tell that something's different, even if it's not consciously diagnostic. And sweat is just filtered blood, after all, so you could argue that they could actively be detecting something.

I think I just convinced myself of the "reasoning" behind why vampires avoid garlic, lol.

But mosquitos and other blood sucking insects are attracted to humans by the smell of sweat/the carbon dioxide we exhale, things like that. It wouldn't be too crazy to assume that there's something that vampires are 'universally' attracted to, that they're biologically hardwired to enjoy.

I wonder what chemical it is that is attractive to vampires? Do you think there's a perfume that contains that scent available in empowered markets? Or something that would repel/disgust vampires? Do some vamps moonlight in clinics or very rural areas as (qualitative not quantitative) diagnosticians? Testing for things like blood sugar, electrolyte imbalances, pregnancy/ovulation?

[thehomophobe]

When encountering a child 🧒: Part 1

Freddy 🐻: It was a few minutes before closing time and Freddy decided took take one last look through Fazerblast before heading back to his greenroom. All the S.T.A.F.F. bots were all taken to maintenance after a huge birthday party blew out the laser tag arena. Let's just say...the kids got a little rowdy...

The only source of life (in this case robotic life) is the little wet floor bots, warning any unexpected visitors of the mess. And of course, Freddy himself. So when the soft sobs swam into his audio receptors, Freddy became alert. The arena was pretty dark, so he had to rely on the optical sensors for finding the source. 

*sob sob* 

The sound was close. Just around the corner. Freddy tries to quiet his footing, but with his metallic feet it was hard to soften them. Behind a panel reveal a small child in gray, silently sobbing in fetal position. Upon closer inspection, the child was unharmed but distress levels rose and fell slowly. They must've been overstimulated by the arena. 

"Superstar, are you lost?" Freddy kneeled to the child. They back away in fright, scared of the muscular android in front of them. 

"I do not mean any harm. I only concern for your safety." Freddy stated as he scanned the child's face.

NO GUEST IDENTIFICATION FOUND 

"I can not find your guest identification in the system. Tell me, what is your name?"

"(Y-(Y/N)..." The child sucked a breath.

"Are your parents still the Mega Pizzaplex?"

The child calmed down after seeing the android really didn't mean any harm. Sobs and pants of fear die down to normal breathing as their heartbeat lessen softly. "N-No...They left me..." The child said timidly. "They all left me..." Tears slid down the cheeks of the kid's face once more. Freddy felt bad, doleful for the child situation. How would their parents just leave them here without taking a second glimpse back. 

"That's...horrible Superstar..." Said Freddy. The lights slowly dim away. The plex was closed; it was too late for anyone to leave or come in anymore. For the time, Freddy wanted to give the child at least a comfortable place to stay until the plex opens again.  

"Would you like to stay in my green room until the next dawn? I will help you find your parents until then."

The child nodded, wiping away the leftover tear streaks and held Freddy's outstretched hand.

Chica 🐔: Closing time. Which means snacking time! 

Between the soft ambience of background music, clunky shoes clicked onto flooring in haste. Chica makes a mad dash passed security bots, hiding behind boxes and implanted greenery when needed to. A tough mission but she was built for this. Mazercise was her daily training session, if she runs through the entire thing she can run pass these guys. "Hang tight frozen pineapple pizza. I shall reunite with you on this very night." Chica internally monologues. Recently she watched a cool heist movie with a coworker last night after they fixed the screen in the arcade.

And now she feels like one of the characters. On a dastardly mission with high risk and high reward.

*(insert a montage of Chica passing by dozens of security)*

After the final mile, Chica swiftly made it into the kitchen. During her break-in she temporarily disabled the worker bot inside. Can't have any witnesses. 

Synthetic hands rubbed against each other in triumph and mischievous glee. "Alright, now where is it...?" She ponders. It's time for a kitchen hunt. Around every corner, inside every crate and cupboard, she goes aimlessly around the kitchen.

Because she forgot where the kitchen staff left it.

"It's not here either." Chica whined. With a finger tapping against her chin, she pondered. If she was a full box of frozen pineapple pizza, where would she be?

"OH! In the trash!" That's gotta be it. It's just a quick trip to the trash pile, nothing to big for her to handle.

*rumble rumble.*

"Hm?" Chica turned to the sound. Was someone coming? The door isn't locked so anyone can get in. Well, any bot can get it, the human staff had already left. *bamp*The sound of plastic dropping made the gynoid flinch. "Hello~?" She called out. Just making sure it's not an actual person.

*shuffle*

It's...it's...it's...

It's coming from the sink cabinet.

Chica stepped lightly and quietly (despite having chunky orange heels on) towards the living cabinet.

*shuffle*

It shuffled again! The sink is alive!

Wait wait wait...it's probably just a raccoon that snuck in. Chica shrugged and open the cabinet with ease...

...

Well it's not an animal, but it is a little kid. 

The child was tiny, which explains why they could fit in the cabinet. Light grays were the color of choice for the kid, but little crumbs of brown, yellow and pink speckled their shirt. And well as their mouth, which was awkwardly straight. 

"Hey! Did you take my pizza?" Chica raised a brow. The child turn frightened after hearing her demanding question. They shakes their head in fear. They felt guilty, even if they didn't eat the gynoid's pizza. Chica, after seeing this honesty and the fear emitted from the child, took a step back. She didn't mean to scare the kid, she just asked if they knew where the pizza was. 

"Aw I'm sorry sweetie. I didn't mean to be rude." She said doply.  "Come on, let's get you out of their." She gently grab the child out from the sink and into her arms to get a better look.

NO GUEST IDENTIFICATION FOUND 

"Huh? That's weird. Usually every guest registers into the plex at the entrance. How did they get in?" Chica wiped the crumbs off the kid's face as she thought out loud. 

*grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* A tummy rumbled.

"Hehe. Guess you're still hungry huh?" The child nodded. "What's your name sweetie?"

"I'm (Y/N)." The child giggled.

Monty 🐊: "COME BACK HERE BRAT!" Monty growled. Tonight, all of nights, had to be when a kid snuck into the plex last minute. Those security bots really are stupid. And now because of them, Monty going around chasing the kid in Gator Golf. The kid was fast. Incredibly fast. But luckily for Monty, he's got more stamina since he charged after the last performance of the night.

Currently, the kid stands on top of one of the gator head in the course, waiting for Monty to make a turn. Whether it be right or left, they'll the opposite. What they don't know is what if Monty chose to crawl upward towards them. Behind the gator head was the pools of water, which were cold and still. Monty approached the kid slowly, like a carnivore hunting for fresh meat. 

"Come on kid..." Monty groaned. Not of physical exhaustion, but of mental exhaustion from chasing this kid up down left right throughout the entire golf course. The doors leading outside the course were locked so the kid couldn't escape. The closer Monty got to the kid, the farther back they went.

But the kid knows that any further could lead into the freezing water.

"You don't want to take a swim, do ya?" Monty asked. The kid giggled and shook their head. They shifted left. They shifted right. They were definitely cornered. 

...

*slip*

*splash*

Well...it was bound to happen. The kid fell into the ravine, disturbing the still waters of the course. Monty huffed, this kid...

The child flailed in the water, whether it be due to the cold or that they didn't learn how to swim. The android groaned like a tired father who was always overworked to the bone; two fingers pinched the synthetic nose bridge. 

The reason why he's acting like this is because he knows this kid. He knows this rowdy child who always worn a child leash by their parents and somehow still manages to get off of it. He also knows that he was this kid's favorite. 

"Hang tight hatchling, I'ma comin'" Monty reassured the kid as he took his clothes off, avoiding any questions on why his stage clothes were wet. He waded, the water barely reaching the shoulders. The waters in the course were deep, but not too deep. Underneath the murky pools lied the goofballs whiffed from today's course and were left to rot below. He could tell; he was stepping on all of them. The kid held onto Monty's torso and carried out the pool, wet with tears and chlorine. 

"Jeez, I really gotta teach you how to swim."

[dainahlai]

hi!! if u still need writing prompts (referencing this post https://www.tumblr.com/r34der/751848949739061248/i-am-in-desperate-need-of-writing-prompts-for?source=share) here are some!! srry if theyre not original or boring or something

charlie and alastor at a meeting but they cant stop laughing/giggling at something stupid (charlie is banging the table with her arm in laughter trying to cover her mouth and alastor tries to stop laughing but everytime he looks at charlie he can't stop) and everyone else is done with them

the entire hotel eating pizza and having fun and charlie and alastor are sharing the only pineapple pizza while everyone else stares in disgust (its actually canon that charlie and alastor like pineapple pizza while the others dont :3)

(this can work for radiodust or radiobelle) angel and alastor have to go undercover in the human world together for something idk (or they accidently went through a portal and now they're trying to figure out how to get back to hell and they look like their human forms now)

(can also work for radiodust or radiobelle) alastor gets hurt so the other helps him/protects him against his will (alastor insists he's fine as he's bleeding out while being attacked lmao) i just think it would be cool to see charlie or angel dust protecting him in his moment of weakness since its so rare

radiobelle with jealous charlie lmao (she's in denial at first but it gets more apparent later)

here are just a few! feel free to do any and change them or whatever lol i hope this was helpful 😭 im srry if all of these suck

Omg thank youu I really do need more prompts for these! Feel free to give more asks if you have any for rarer ships (Angelicradio and so on) or even radiohusk since I don't have a prompt for that one. Do you mind if I give credits? I'm just asking in case you want me to credit you when I finish these prompts since I'll definitely use them. One day...

My favourite so far is jealous Charlie cause as an Alastor fan I just have to see him being doted on in every relationship!

[zukoromantic]

Dietry aspects that help you if you suffer from thyroid issues, specifically hashimoto's disease:

Avoid gluten. It sucks, yeah, but every source i found so far agrees on this. People with thyroid issues are more likely to be straight up gluten intolerant! If that isn't the case, you absolutely don't need to cut gluten out of your life. However, you should try to reduce the intake regardless. But not to worry! You can find brands that have pasta, bread mixes, pizza dough, even little snacks as gluten free! Alternatives are also always rice or corn for a lot of things. If you like to snack on crunchy things like cookies i can really recommend rice waffles. They even come with chocolate and other flavors a lot of the time. And as for the bread mixes don't worry, at least the german brand i get has the lowest effort kinda stuff. As in, put water, stirr, form on tray, oven, done (and i found one that is SO delicious to me even!)

Avoid pork. Also got this one from multiple sources. Like with gluten, it can be a problem if you're out a lot, BUT there is usually plenty of other meat. My go to is chicken or turkey. Beef is great too, but naturally it's more expensive than chicken etc. You don't need to cut out stuff like salami either because these days there's a lot of alternatives to pork in those regards

Veggies, veggies, veggies! I mean, who doesn't this apply to?! Vegetables are great and have so many vitamins. I try to eat a salad a day and have some veggies in my lunch. There is so many different vegetables, there's sure to be SOMETHING for you! In my salad for example i put grated carrots even though i don't like them apart from that. I also put apple to make it more sweet and delicious! (Note: for salad you should put some oil, otherwise your body can't absorb the nutrients that well. I love pumpkin sees oil bc i'm picky and don't like olive oil. But there's more you might like too!) Potatoes count as well for your vitamins. Put anything with some meat or in a stew or with rice, it doesn't really matter how you make them

Fruit is less helpful than veggies, but it's still great! Especially berries, apples, oranges, peaches, plums and more are helpful. That's because they have less sugar that for example pineapple, banana, grapes, or mango

Seeds and nuts. They can help you as well. I usually put sunflower seeds in my salad, but you can also put something in cereal or yoghurt or your lunch! They're nice and crunchy and can be great additions to some food

Less (cow) milk. Milk is fineee, but you shouldn't overdo it. Especialy with things with a lot of fat, like cream

Most fish. Most fish is great, salmon and tuna for example. In general, fish is really healthy. I don't like it but i know many do! So definitely keep eating it! :)

Eggs. Eggs are always good, get your protein! Many lovely ways to make eggs. Just make sure you don't always eat them with too much fat, so be careful with your fried or scrambled egg

Those are things i was told by a doctor or things i found from different sources on the internet. Some is obvious like you should just so in general get protein and vegebtables!

But for example, i've had hashimoto's disease for over six years now and only THIS YEAR i was told by a doctor that i should avoid gluten

So i wanted to make a little post for me and for others to have a quick check list regarding one's diet with thyroid issues! If you know/think of anything else, please share! It'll be much appreciated!

[pearlzier]

https://www.tumblr.com/pearlzier/759917745214291968/omg-the-way-i-hate-when-my-hair-is-long-but-now-my?source=share

Same anon here🤓

Did the pineapple method and NOT ONLY MY SCALP IS IN PAIN, THE HAIR LOOKS LIKE SHIT. like cmon i start school in the next week how the fick am I supposed to sleep with them to not look like shit the next day💀 like not only I look like a freaking men from '70/80 some of my hair are just fucking slight waves BRO🫵😰😡😭🛐😰🛐😔😩😡🔥🫵🧍🤓

HELPME 😭😭 THAT SUCKS IM SORRY BAE THATS SO PAINFUL 💔

[antimap101]

Hello, this is an account for archiving antiMPA posts and spreading info against MPAs. It is fairly new and I'd like to follow fellow antis. If anyone's still out here with anti blogs.

I've been going around replying to antiMPA posts to get the attention of the antiMAP community because it's kind of dead. At least from what I can see.

I was starting to worry that it wasn't big enough to be a community.

Then I found this post and was relieved. Good to know there is a community.

The fact that the map community has grown to the point where we need an anti-map community absolutely disgusts me. Stop sexualizing children and for the love of God, stop trying to weasel your way into the LGBT community. We don’t want you here. Get the fuck out, you nasty bitches or else I will personally break into your house and bash your skull in with a baseball bat.

[my-insanity-is-an-artform]

A cut from a fic I’ll never finish:

“Throwback to the time I wished to be dead rather than go through exams!” Reader says, throwing themselves to on the ground with their soup.

“What the fuck are you talking about.” Legend asks.

“Just gotta remind myself that its better to be here than back home.” Reader replies.

“Thats fucked up.” Wild says, straight to the point.

Readers’ head turns. “No its not?” They say, questioningly.

Legend scowls. “It is too.”

“Listen man,” Reader turns back to their food, ignoring the looks of horror from the rest of the chain, “Say what you will, but this is infinitely better than back home.”

Twilight frowns. “You almost died half an hour ago.” He points out.

“And I'm pretty sure my old roommate was planning on killing me and selling my organs to pay off her student loan debt. Also she ate pineapple on pizza which is a whole other level of wrong that I’m not getting involved in.” They place their bowl on the ground. “At least here I won’t lose my only source of money if I sleep in for twenty extra minutes. And I don’t have to pay rent!”

Vaguely horrified looks from the rest of the chain.

“You don’t even have a house here?” From Warriors.

“Yeah!” Reader smiles. “Isn’t it great! Now I don’t have to worry about my landlord breaking into my apartment while I'm sleeping!”

“Your landlord does WHAT.” Twilight stands up, enraged.

“That cannot be legal” Four says, looking horrified.

“It’s allowed on the barest technicality.” Reader explains. “But dont worry! He might have the key to my apartment, but he doesn’t have the key to the six padlocks I added to the door!” All of this said with unnerving cheeriness.

Time places a hand on Twilight’s shoulder, calming him before turning back to Reader.

“He never did anything did he?” He asks. Menacingly.

Reader doesn’t seem to notice the eldests fury. 

“Oh he never got the chance. My most recent roommate was a terrifying sight to behold when angry.”

“Was she the one trying to steal your organs?” Wind asks, clearly in morbid fascination.

“No that was my first roomate. Freshman year in college. Weird times.”

The horror had not dissipated.

“What the Fuck.” Hyrule says. “Seriously, what the Fuck.”

“Yeah it sucks pretty bad.” Reader allows. “So you can see why I like it here.”

“We can see it.” Sky says, still looking vaguely terrified. “I just don’t think we want to.”

“Well you asked.” Reader says, shrugging. “Besides, what I have going on now is nothing compared to my early college days. And by early I mean last year.” 

“First off, we didn’t ask. Legend did.” This from Wild, drawing an offended ‘Hey!’ from Legend. “Second, what the fuck is wrong with your era.”

“Dont say capitalism.” Reader mutters to themself. “Its true but you shouldn’t say it.”

“What’s capitalism?” From Wild.

Oh Boy.

oh my god I love this so much. Just the absolute disbelief that Reader would prefer death over their own world.

Reader is such a whole mood. The good ol' days of crushing capitalism and living off of noodles. Nothing to see here, don’t worry.

Just imagine them telling the chain this and is promptly stuffed with food and muttered promises of various ideas

Please I need more. Im begging you.

[halforcdad]

serenading was really the last thing i ever wanted Kate to do as her grand gesture and i still don’t love it, but the amount of people who keep calling a big, awkward, public gesture hugely ooc for Kate and keep saying they miss the old whistler who wasn't dumb, oh DIA Whistler was so much better. its the show’s first season. i don’t think it’s even possible to be ooc when the writers are just starting to create these characters and we barely know them. we only saw ‘cool, confident, bossy dia whistler’ for about 6 episodes before 1x11 happened and changed everything, and while she’s still all of those things she was changing even before the breakup happened and with all the growth she’s gone through, she’s going to end the season looking pretty different to how she started (fair warning, this is a little unhinged and unorganized, just a little)

her arc has been about her learning to let people in and learning to be more honest with her feelings, to not be afraid of putting herself out there and learning how to stop pushing people away as a result of the impact Lucy and the team have had on her. it’s about making yourself vulnerable and trying to find people who will accept you even if you’re an awkward giraffe. throughout the season the writers have been telling us that she: finds it hard to be open and show her emotions, she puts her orders before her feelings at work causing everyone to view her as the ‘bad cop’ and that sucks, she really wants to make connections with her coworkers, but she doesn’t know how and she’s kinda bad at it, she was afraid of starting something with Lucy (and messing it up) because Lucy’s the most amazing woman she’s ever met and she wanted to keep it on the downlow until she felt she could handle it, is actually very charming and sensitive and goofy underneath that hardened exterior

there’s a reason Ernie describes her as “the tall one acting goofy,” she tries to keep her relationship with Lucy a secret and yet you can see her softening as a result of it and being unable to hide their connection and pull to each other even at work. Jesse notices they’re making googly eyes at each other during the Pearl Harbor tour in 1x09 and remarks that “there’s a certain DIA officer i haven’t seen around your desk recently,” because she couldn’t fight the gravitational pull drawing her to Lucy’s desk everyday, literally the worst kept secret at the office you morons! In 1x12 she’s sprinting after Lucy practically shouting after her (loud enough for all of Pearl Harbor to hear) even when she’s asking if Lucy’s going to throw their relationship away that easily. Kate gets a pass with Jane because how can you pretend you don’t care about Lucy after she could’ve died on an UC mission and as for Kai, well, he has two eyes so he definitely noticed too

the Whistler in 1x01 would definitely not be going over to Tennant’s house after 1x14 and sharing a drink with her (might not have warned her about Glenn Smith either) and maybe she wouldn’t have tried comforting her when Jesse went missing in 1x15 (not because she wouldn’t have wanted to, but maybe it would have been harder without all the stuff that happened in between as a result of the Lucy romance) and that’s growth baby!

as for her acting ‘dumb’ and goofy, whistler’s greatest hits (paraphrased):

1x07: the entire opening scene right in front of Ernie's coffee, like ladies its barely 9 in the morning 

1x09: “i want to be intimate” “here???” 

1x11: "i like this" "the coffee? its fair trade." "so i think i win the dumbass award." "yes...no! NO!"

1x14: “creds... that’s what all the cool agents say :)”

1x17: “the source of the attack was some sort of pineapple” “like the fruit?” (also forgetting she never apologized to Lucy)

1x20: while looking like a beaten bloody piñata “I’m fine just some bruises...and some minor head trauma...” “i did not have Lucy surf quotes on my bingo card today” 

1x21: “about the power of love!” -silence- “...anyway i think that’ll help us get through to David” (we were all raving about this scene and how cute it was, but we don't want to acknowledge all the work it took to get here?)

The writers have been showing it all season, this is just who she is the more you get to know her, not liking it is different than ooc

Kate just sucks at talking and processing her emotions on the spot and can’t always immediately formulate a response right away whether you’re her boss or her colleague or her ex girlfriend (she ghosted a girl for months for god’s sakes which is probably honestly where most of the ‘this feels ooc for Kate’ criticism comes from and it’s hard to blame anyone for that because wth Kate, but it also serves as the biggest indictment of how her lack of social skills has effected her life and now it’s finally catching up to her)

a lot of people call Whistler rushing in without thought or backup to be ooc, and while they’ve shown that she’s smart and good at thinking things through (figuring out a way to help the team in 1x06, with the Clark Lohan thing in 1x10, using David's wife’s fate as leverage to get through to him in 1x21), that’s been behind the scenes we never saw her do field work during her stint at the DIA so there’s nothing really to base the ooc claim on, the first time we see her in the field is in 1x17 (she only transferred to the FBI 3 episodes ago) when she rushes in and Lucy has to stop her so it’s not out of the ordinary for her to do something similar in 1x20 at Agent Jones’s house, Whistler in the office and Whistler out in the field are different because they’re different environments entirely (and she’s new to the field)

i dont think the people calling Whistler ooc for acting goofy and socially inept would call her ooc for turning down a promotion anywhere from 1x06-1x13 to stay close to Lucy after early Whistler was billed as ambitious and career-driven (but i guess it’s different because it’s romantic without being awkward...), if we’re going to throw that term out there we should examine all her actions that way not just the one’s we maybe don’t like 

you can criticize the writing and the show all you want we all have different opinions we’re not all going to agree on how good Whistler’s development has gone, but i don’t think it’s fair to say any public grand gesture or Kate acting ‘dumb’ is completely out of left field, yes she was more cold and distant and mean earlier (and maybe you preferred that way more) but as the show has progressed you get to see a different more shy, uncertain, dorky side of her and that's not ooc that's just how humans are

she’s been slowly stepping out of her comfort zone all season and Lucy’s influence on her has inspired her to finally make a running jump into the deep end to win her back because she loves her and that’s how much she means to her (my favorite post about the grand gesture written before we knew it was a singing gesture LOL) that's the whole point isn't it? the power of love! has changed Whistler! she's never felt this way about anyone before and is clearly woefully inexperienced in love, she misses Lucy and wants to win her back no matter what so she's willing to listen to anything and do anything to show her she's all in and wants to be with her and only her! love makes us do crazy things, but it makes sense after a season of pain and regret

unfortunately for some people, Kate also happens to be less competent socially so that’s going to manifest in truly awkward (and secondhand embarrassing) ways, but she’s always been capable of this because she’s a multifaceted character and the writers have been showing us that

[drinkingeorzea]

Tropical non-alcoholic cocktail of good King Moggle Mog XII

This one was fun! And a lot of work. It was also exactly what I needed after three days of being sick, kupo.

I don't have a pineapple corer that would have made this a million times easier. I was planning on doing three pineapple cups but gave up after two because my hand hurt from the cutting and scraping, kupo. Which was perfectly fine with me because the kids got their pineapple cups and I got a glass where I could see everything.

As usual I had to guess at proportions, and in this case, ingredients. Does the original drink include pineapple juice or just the pineapple cup? No idea, kupo. And because of my hacking and slashing technique I ended up with pineapple chunks that included the core and I wasn't about to spend my evening separating the two. So I just chucked the chunks into the blender, strained out the juice, and added it to everything else in a pitcher.

The fruit cocktail was the most baffling part of this recipe. It's entirely possible that the original recipe called for fruit punch or some other kind of mixed fruit drink only available in Japan. Were I to do this again, I would leave it out altogether because it didn't add much to the drink and it's not like you can suck up the fruit chunks even with a boba straw, kupo.

And the boba... well, I'd definitely do it differently next time. The brand that I used said you can make it ahead of time and store it in the fridge. I did that, added a little honey to keep things from clumping, and put it in the fridge overnight. The next day I had sad, mealy boba. So... maybe store it in water or make it fresh. Or leave it out, which is probably what I'll do in the future, kupo.

Verdict: It's guava, mango, and pineapple juice. It's yummy, kupo!

Source: https://finalfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Eorzea_Cafe

Difficulty: … | Yield: 1 serving

Ingredients:

3-4 whole pineapples (substitute 3 cups pineapple juice)

1 qt (1 L) guava nectar

1 qt (1 L) mango nectar

1 15 oz can lite fruit cocktail, undrained (optional)

Colorful tapioca boba, prepared (optional)

Instructions:

If using whole pineapples, cut out the middle to make cups. Put your pineapple chunks into a blender and blend until pureed. Strain juice through a mesh sieve into a bowl. Discard pulp.

Add guava and mango nectars into a large pitcher. Add fruit cocktail liquid if using. Stir to combine.

Add optional boba and fruit cocktail to pineapple cups or glasses. Add ice. Top with juice.

[liquid-geodes]

Compiling a list of JPisms (funny things JP has said) that will be making their way into my regular vocabulary:

"A bee's dick of a thing"

"Eff my hoot owl"

"I'm a cow"

"I'm a lawn mower moo moo"

"Sick nasty bro I made it down there"

"1 2 3 I'm a ball in distress"

"It ain't easy being hard"

"Can I put my clothes back on?"

"Ride the line like a pinecone"

"There's questions I want to know but answers I don't have"

"WISTOL PITCH"

"I will fid you bedwell"

"Let me put my naked back on"

"Slow and steady wins her"

"Are you titing my source?"

"I CANT there's a little PeNiS that hits me!"

"It's not fun down in the shaft Wade"

"I got f'd in the boom boom"

"It's a tumor dick, tudick... why aren't you a dick?"

"Thank you I blew myself"

"If it goes up you know it's time"

"STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW"

"We over shat that"

"What the frickin Jeffery dude"

"There's a big dick maze"

"The trees have no gravity"

"No gar, we're not pirates"

"Am I usher?"

"I like to eat pineapples"

"My names bethany"

"I'm one behind calm your tee tahs"

"tEAT my patience"

"We went up to go down, it's logic!"

"It was a complete strategy to my strategy guide!"

"This is actually basketball and I'm winning"

"What was I thinking? Again! Part two"

"Smack a goat and call me billy"

"No, it's crab crack"

"That's just not correct"

"IM LONELY AND NOW THE WORLD KNOWS IM SINGLE. HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

"He's got the brain power of a microwave"

"Some of us just died of dysentery"

"You ran out of pee pee"

"Come on! Be the little hoe that can!"

"I'll write you a dicket"

"Jump, little hoe!"

"Yeah I masterbate when I fall to my DEATH"

"I'm sucking the pickle"

"Keyboards have rights'

"With size comes less use"

"No YOU thought of it, hole"

"Of sadness and hatred except, hole in one"

"I'm gonna rip my nipples off"

"That's a lot of cow holes"

"I'm not expecting to win, I'm just looking for not last place!"

"I don't know what I just did as an acorn, but it wasn't human"

"Are we dildos?"

"Oh I wanna go look at the mouse :("

"🎶 Jack frost jacking off his nose 🎶"

"This sucks like a chicken"

"A cow goes bounce!"

"You know what else blows? A fan"

"The little nutsack that wouldn't"

"I'm in last place don't take that away from me"

"Oh gravity! I forgot about that"

"I'm not sick I'm allergies"

"Thank you dude I feel pretty hot"

"The boys in the yard with the milkshakes"

"I got in then I was out burger"

"I do the same shot 3 times and get 4 different results"

"I'm bad, but I'm glad to be Brad. I'm Brad, bad."

"Do you ever want to just... eat a donut."

"Is combat on?"

"I'm gonna rip my nipples off"

"It IS a pretty dumb ramp..."

"What are you sucking you're in there"

"I am inevitable. Wade is.. trying to go too hard at the Hardee's"

"You're an egg"

"Aw babe"

"🎶 it is very tropical and I don't know why I want to cry myself to sleep everyday🎶"

"It's Romano"

"WHY ARE YOU WASTING ALL OUR TIME YOU NIPPLE TWISTING MOTHER EFFER"

"Think of a little turtle. Now think of him in soup. Yeah you're sad now."

"I'm a gOOse"

"I don't like the situation I'm in"

"I'm an idiom"

"Sit back, grab a drink, and enjoy the ride"

"If I still had nipples I'd rip them off right now"

"I can't believe it, I can't believe it's not butter, I'm a bogey"

List will be updated as I discover more

[moonbeam-dragon]

Positive Charge Part 1

Moonrise! I had an idea and I had to. I'm starting school so updates will be rocky but I had to. Tw: Megavolt's language.

It wasn't often the police asked him for help. Darkwing knew that to be true. So when the police called him from his patrol to check something out, he was surprised. He was glad, of course. It was about time they started recognizing his competence.

So he parked the Ratcatcher a few blocks from the Italian restaurant downtown. Sure, the police said they were concerned about loitering. Clearly, they expected worse, and trusted only Darkwing Duck with the case!

Sneaking up on the building, he hid behind the brick wall, peering around. Then he heard a voice. "All you need to do is talk to him. Make him laugh, blush, all that corny shit. We'll handle the rest." Darkwing knew that nasally voice anywhere. It had been bugging him for the last ten years.

"Thanks again for doing this, Sparky!" another voice said. "I owe ya one!"

"Quit calling me that and we'll call it even," Megavolt said.

Darkwing pulled out his gas gun, getting ready to attack. He heard a splashing noise nearby and spun around to look for the source. He heard a bubbly voice. "Coming to you from-"

"Don't do that!" Megavolt said, the sounds of zapping accompanying it. "I almost electrocuted you!"

Darkwing turned back to the wall, peering over. He saw the patio of outdoor tables that the restaurant used. One of the tables had a purple table cloth over it, patches with leaves and petals sewn on. Megavolt was around the corner, messing with the power box. Quackerjack was next to him, pulling the ends of his hat and twisting them around his fingers. Liquidator was on the other wall, grinning sheepishly.

"I apologize for any inconvenience," Liquidator said, sliding a bit closer. "I'm here to inform you that our plan is underway."

Megavolt huffed and zapped something. The stringed lights came on all around, giving the night air a more gorgeous look. "Good. We'd better get out of here before he gets here."

"Too bad," Darkwing muttered. "I'm already here." He shot off his gas gun and blue smoke puffed in front of him. "I am the terror that flaps in the night!" He said, jumping into it.

"Oh no, not now!" Quackerjack whined, stomping his foot. Megavolt snarled, one hand sparking in his irriration.

"I am the pineapple on your pizza. I am-"

"What do you have against pineapple on pizza?" Megavolt asked suddenly, just as Darkwing's smoke cleared.

The hero had had his cape held to dramatically flip, but dropped it. "I- You didn't- That's not the point!" Darkwing shouted. He held his gas gun up at the group. "Suck gas evil-" he was suddenly knocked backwards pretty roughly, seeing Quackerjack on top of him.

"No, no, no! You'll ruin my whole night!" the jester pouted, shaking Darkwing's shoulders. "Why do you have to be such a spoilsport!?"

Megavolt ran over, pulling the two apart. "Not happening, Dorkwing!" He grabbed the hero by the front of his costume and threw him over the wall.

"Megs!" Quackerjack said, going over. "I can-"

"No, not happening! I spent too much time helping you set this crap up for you to waste your time on this guy!" Megavolt insisted. "You stay here. I'll handle it."

As Darkwing got up, he saw Megavolt climb over the wall and was shoved down again. "Hey, what are you-"

"Shut the hell up!" Megavolt said running away from the restaurant and into the street. He held up the gas gun victoriously.

"You can't fight me while I'm unarmed!" Darkwing pouted.

Megavolt flipped the weapon in his hand, cackling. "Why don't you come get it, then?"

Darkwing growled, getting up and running after the rat. Honestly, he'd thought Megavolt was better than this! But without his gun, he couldn't very well take on the rest of the Fearsome Five.

When they were about a block away, Megavolt turned and threw the gun back. "You've got really bad timing, you know that?" he said.

Darkwing caught his gun and looked up at the other in confusion. "I have a great concept of time and how to use it, thank you very much!"

Megavolt rolled his eyes. "Whatever helps you sleep at night. A minute later and you would have fucked up everything!"

"On the contrary, Megavolt, I still have the chance to do something about it," the hero explained, shooting a canister of gas at the other.

Megavolt jumped out of the way and zapped it so it went off in mid-air. "Not if I have anything to say about it." He sent a bolt at the duck, forcing the other to roll away. The pair shared several minutes of back-and-forth squabbling.. Megavolt got annoyed with the lack of banter and decoded to pick it back up.. "You know, it costs you zero dollars to stay out of our personal business!"

"If it's a crime, it's my personal business, too," Darkwing told him, shooting a canister of water at the villain.

Megavolt leaped to the side, the liquid splattering nearby and getting his foot. "Ouch! This isn't a crime!" Megavolt told him.

"You're loitering and disturbing the peace!" Dakrwing said, pointing a finger at him.

"No peace was being disturbed until you got involved," Megavolt said. "But nosy-no-good-do-gooder Darkwing Duck had to come in. Do you know how long we've spent setting up this date?!"

Darkwing stopped where he was, staring at the other. "Date??"

Megavolt slammed a gloved hand over his mouth. "Shit. Forget I said-"

"I gotta see this!" Darkwing said, running back down the street to the restaurant. He got back to the wall and peeked over. What he saw surprised him. At the table that had been decorated, at the center of all the lights, were Quackerjack and Bushroot, having dinner. His jaw dropped. They were trespassing on private property and screwing with the security system for a date? Megavolt came up behind him suddenly, hushing him. "Since when did this happen?" Darkwing whisper-yelled, hands motioning wildly at the pair.

"Hell if I know. A while, probably?" Megavolt whispered, scratching his head. "I think Quacky said this was the first real date they've been on. So don't try and mess it up!"

Darkwing shook his head half-heartedly. "No way. So what else? Are you and Liquidator a thing, too?"

Megavolt felt a few sparks fly at his agitation. "What? No. Not my type in more ways than one," he explained.

"Oh, are you straight?" Darkwing asked, honestly curious at this point. He had gotten so wrapped up in fighting these guys, he often forgot that they also had lives behind the scenes.

Megavolt snorted, shaking his head. "Not at all! It's the electricity and water thing. And he's just too sane for my tastes."

"Did you hear something?" Bushroot's voice suddenly asked. "Behind the wall?"

"What? Come on, Reggie," Quackerjack said with a nervous laugh. "I'm supposed to be the one who hears voices."

"That he is, Liz!" Banana Brain added.

Megavolt covered his mouth and made a hand notion for Darkwing to go somewhere. Making the deduction that the group wasn't up to anything sinister and that he was close enough to interfere should they decide to try it, Darkwing followed his nemesis to the street and just walk around.

"What were we talking about?" Megavolt asked.

"So Quackerjack and Bushroot, huh? Never would have expected that," Darkwing said, trying to pick back up what they were saying before.

"Oh, yeah. Neither did I. Liqqy and I had a running bet. He won," Megavolt told him with a grimace.

"So do you have a secret relationship?" Darkwing asked, amused at the idea.

"Ha! Bold of you to assume I could be in one," Megavolt joked. Then he put a hand over his chin in thought. "Although remember something like that back in my school days." Darkwing thought back. Old Elmo Sputterspark back in high school. How would he have gotten a date? It seemed more likely now than back then. "I honestly don't know if we dated or I just liked him. I don't even remember much about him." Darkwing raised an eyebrow, staring up at the other. "I remember his name, I think. Dave- No, Drew- No, Drake! His last name was probably something like Malcolm- Mallard! Yeah, Drake Mallard, that was his name!"

Darkwing's eyes widened. He wasn't hearing this correctly. He had to have the wrong name. But, maybe some careful interrogation could help. "Do you remember what he was like?"

"A fuckin' dweeb," Megavolt said without missing a beat. He snickered. "There was nothing cool about him. He was nerdy, annoying, and short. And he got bullied as much as me." Megavolt sighed. "Maybe I'm forgetting something. But something about him was special."

Darkwing sighed. Yeah, he had the right guy. And he hated to admit it. So Megavolt had been in love with him. So what? That was a decade ago! And he didn't even remember who Darkwing was.

___

He's excused himself and left the date alone. He had a lot more to think about. His arch nemesis was in love with him once. He couldn't get him off his mind. So here he sat, in the middle of the night, on the couch, leaning over his senior yearbook. He stared at the photo of Elmo, with the faint goggles and hat Gosalyn had drawn on. It had been a huge shock finding out who his long adversary truly was. It was almost as huge to find out that there could have been something between them before he went mad.

Maybe he wouldn't have gone mad if he'd been shown empathy. Maybe he would have put his powers to good if he'd been supported more. Maybe he wouldn't be a villain if he'd been shown some love. Maybe if they'd gotten closer, they could have become heroes together.

Drake sat up sharply, suddenly wide awake. That gave him an idea...

Uh-oh. Darkwing has an idea. How will this pan out? Farwell, best of luck, avoid roasted cabbage, don’t eat earwax, and look on the bright side of life! Moonset!

[simpingfortheages]

//Test it out//

You know what pineapple does...come on ;) you know...

Ally Mayfair x Fem reader

(FLUFF! SMUT But fluff too...is-is cute ngl)

Reader comes home and sees Ally in bed, one thing leads to another.

Source: mirandascroft (sorry :( idk how to add gifs on tumblr but i still gave credit :)

Long days at the office weighed down on you so much that your shoulders ached and sagged as you walked. The feeling of every muscle in your body screaming for you to lie down, to sit, to do something other than stand. You sloppily toed off your shoes that your wore for 9 hours, leaving them to clatter in a corner. Ally will understand. The cool board floor was heavenly on your sore feet , a cool reminder that Ally probably had the AC on a few hours ago. It seemed as though just by being home it was the remedy you needed.

Tossing the hefty bag from your pained shoulder onto the counter also added to your satisfaction. A smile crept its way upon your lips, just at the idea of not having to touch that laptop bag for the next two days. "Ally?" you called out for you girlfriend. Your girlfriend for 1 year and 10 months to be precise. The best decision you ever made was to walk into that restaurant,"Ally baby?" there was no answer to your reply the first time. The further you walked into the house and made your way into the living room, you already knew that she was passed out in bed. The glass that remained with 1 inch red wine left on the short side table gave you your answer.

With an extra happiness and pep in your step you skipped your way up the stairs, jumping past every 2 steps. If Ally were awake and saw that, she would scold you for setting a bad example for Oz, which luckily for you was away spending the night with one of his schoolmates. As you continued to make your way upstairs, the white door to yours and Ally's bedroom came into view. Trying to stay as quiet as possible you pushed open the door which gave a small creak, you always mentioned to Ally about fixing that, but the brunette refused to get it oiled because she liked hearing when you came home. It was a sweet gesture.

The sight of your girlfriend on the bed that you both shared made your heart swell with love. After all the trauma and terrible things she faced before she became the senator, you made it your number one priority to shower her with all the love and care that she deserved. The floor board groaned softly beneath your naked feet as you tip toed your way to the side of the queen sized bed. There she laid sprawled out on the sheets, wearing your button up flannel shirt, hugging your pillow with one leg hitched upon it. The pillow had a faded scent of the lavender perfume you famously wore. It was Ally's favourite, she said it 'made her feel safe'. You never questioned it so you continued to wear it every day.

The 2 empty bottles situated on your wooden dresser proved that point. Before you keeled down to bestow a kiss on her soft skin, you noticed a small plastic container...was it? noo, she wouldn't. She promised to share. The irresistible smell of the pineapple juice that collected at the bottom of the container was calling you. Without thinking you lifted the container to your lips and drank the remainder of the fruit you both promised to share. You eyes opened wide at the taste of how sweet the pineapple was, after you drank every drop, you rested the bowl back on the night stand.

Apparently the soft thud against the wooden table caused the sleeping senator in the bed to stir awake. As Ally shifted on the bed to turn and face you, the loose buttoned shirt that she wore began to ride up her thighs, allowing her pink underwear to peak through. Ally stopped hugging your pillow and fully rotated her body which made her shirt move even more to reveal that your girlfriend wore no bra. She was everything that you loved, the perfect woman and person whom you wish to spend the rest of your life with. Her brown eyes slowly began to open but it wasn't opened all the way, with eyes still filled with sleep Ally squinted at you as a small smile adorned her face.

"hi baby.." her voice was soft and raspy from now waking up but it was filled with glee. " hi baby" you replied with happiness in yours. Ally sat up on the bed and neatly folded her legs as she outstretched her hands for a hug. You didn't move, instead you shot her a toothy grin and narrowed your eyes at her in a joking manner. "Where's my share Al?" the adorable look of realization that dawned on Ally's face as she turned her head to look at the empty container. "OH baby, I am sorry, it was just really sweet. It was one of the sweetest ones you brought home" she pouted her bottom lip and gave you puppy eyes.

Of course you fell for it. You playfully rolled your eyes as you shrugged off your work jacket, and threw it on the chair that already had clothes from previous work days,"Well Ms Mayfair, your going to have to pay me back for that." Ally quirked an eyebrow at your sudden statement and flopped her hand down on the bed with a loud huff, "well y/n I can buy you back one tomorrow." you shook your head 'no' at her way to rectifying the situation. You knew she was a little salty now from the lack of attention she was receiving. Usually you'd shower her in kisses and take the hug that she offered when you came home, however you had another plan in store. Ally furrowed her eyebrows,"well how to make it back up to you?". You knew exactly how she could repay you.

After you removed most of your work clothes you were standing at the bedside in only your shirt with a cute fuming Ally in the bed."Don't look at me like that. You ate all the pineapple that YOU promised we'd share, I came home all excited to eat it." Ally scoffed loudly at your reply, her eyebrows went up in shock,"So that's ALLLLL you came home excited for y/n?" she threw her hands up in frustration."Yes Ally. I did" at this point the senator folded her arms tightly against her chest staring daggers at you with an annoyed look plastered on her face.

"omg Ally of course I am kidding, I came home for YOUUU toooo.." you jumped on the bed and lovingly wrapped your arms around her. To make up for rejecting her hug from before you showered her with kisses all over her pouted lips, and face. Ally's fake being angry demeanor broke when your lips trailed to her neck. She always giggled when you kissed there , she was ticklish. It was one of the things your adored and did quite often to get a reaction out of her. "Y/N Stopp!!" Ally laughed uncontrollably, she pressed the heels of her palm into your chest to try and push you off, but you were relentless."Are you ready to pay me back now?" you pulled away to allow her to catch her breathe.

"wa-wait so...so the tickle attack wasn't the payback?" Ally spoke through her struggle to regulate her breathing." NO way, you owe me big time sooo..." you stopped mid sentence to make sure she was listening to you."SOO what y/n? you know I don't like being left in suspense" you playfully rolled your eyes at her impatience,"SOooo.. you remembered that article that we read and thought was a lie?" you said watching the small gears turn in Ally's head. When she realized what you meant, a pink blush crept it's way onto her chest and face.

"I mean you do owe me baby."you continued to plant more kisses atop her flushed skin, however this time it was slow and filled with a sensual intent. Ally craned her neck to the side to expose more of her skin for you to place your lips upon,"I- i'd like to try that" the way that she stuttered her words were heavenly, you knew you had her where you wanted.When you reached her pulse point you bite down roughly and sucked at the area until you were sure that blood rushed to the surface. You usually weren't allowed to leave hickies on her since she had work, but due to her winning the last election she had gotten a lot more time off to relax and that meant staying home a little longer with you.

Ally laced her hands through your hair as you marked her beautiful skin, while she pulled at your roots for every bite you made. An almost silent whimper escaped Ally's lips, a small indication that she wanted more. Over the months of being together you learnt the little signs she gave when she wanted something. One of the ways being the way she would begin to chew on her nails when she is hungry or the way that she would start to clean when she is stressed, you learned Ally inside out and you loved every inch of her.

With every kiss you bestowed upon her soft skin, you whispered a small ' i love you'. It was soft but Ally was close enough to hear every word. She cherished these moments with you, the way you managed to make every second with her something special and memorable. It was something she held dearly to her heart. As you trailed your lips lower and lower, the coldness in the room made her skin pebbled, the hairs on her body stood up as well with the more kisses you left on her. Touching and caressing every freckle that beautified her body. She was a walking masterpiece indeed. And she was yours.

Watching at how cute and desperately her hips bucked for your attention, you adorned her inner thighs with more kisses, spitefully skipping past the area you knew she needed you the most."Please y/n, I needed you since before you came ho-home. I didn't even try anything" her words invoked a fire within you, a fire fueled with desire and passion to please your girlfriend. Especially since she held back for so long. Out of the kindness in your heart, you decided to skip the foreplay and get right to it. Immediately you wrapped your plump lips around her pink bundle of nerves, sucking in sharp bursts to invoke more pleasure. Your girlfriend threw her head back against the pillows below as she laced and entangled her hands into your hair.

Words mixed of profanity and your name were continuously being moaned and whimpered from Ally's mouth. Hearing her curse shot straight heat to your own core. It was sexy, Ally never used words like that even in anger when Ozzy was around. Thank God he wasn't, you silently thanked the universe."oh Yes Y/n Suck it suck it suck it.." her lewd comments caused the flaem inside of you to burn brighter. You softly kitten licked at her clit, bringing your tongue's attention to the dripping arousal that was caused by you. Slipping your tongue pain stalking slow through her swollen pink folds, to gather and collect the sweet arousal you've been waiting to taste for so long. Ally's nails scrapped along your scalp from the sensation of your tongue.

She was basically dripping honey. The aroma.The taste...all of it was addictive and you couldn't get enough. As you lapped at her cunt, the senator, whose legs you were currently between,were clamping down on your head.It'd really be the best way to go out. But you were far from finished."Ally...we seem to have a problem." you spoke from between her legs, your girlfriend parted her legs and looked at you with worry,"what's the problem?".

"It's just that you taste sweeter than the pineapple." the blood rushed to Ally's cheek making her blush."And why's that bad?" she questioned."It's just that I can't get enough.." you smirked in reply as you returned your head to her dripping core. Taking your middle and ring finger, you ran it up her slit to gather her arousal.As you did so, you toyed at her dripping entrance causing Ally to whimper once more, having teased her enough, you plunged your fingers into her pussy.

Immediately her back arched off the bed, the weak springs in the bed creaked as your woman moved in pleasure. Her head twisting and turning on the pillow. Never stopping from moving inside her, you curled your fingers, grazing and caressing her g spot. She was pulling you in, her warm tight muscles begging for more of you as her arousal dripped down your hand. You loved every moment of this."Faster y/n ...fas-" her second orgasm stopped her mid sentence overtaken by loud moans. Hands fisting and gathering your hair in her palms as her eyes rolled to the back of her head, her head was empty of everything else but your name which she yelled till high heaven.

Your eyes locked onto her pussy, watching as her sensitive entrance fluttered trying to regain normalcy. You couldn't just lay between her legs watching her delicious essence drip onto the sex stained sheet. Ally was tired from her two highs that she had in a row, but she didn't know you intended to collect the rest of her."Ahh shit y/n baby please- please I can't" she felt you softly lick her, she was now pushing your head away from her center.

Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes as she pleaded, it was the most intense orgasm she has had in a while. Looking up at her you smiled and complied to the words of your girlfriend."Very well baby." You missed moments and times like this, just you and her. Usually after sex she would be off scurrying to finish off some work instead of laying beside you. "Next time you'll get to eat the pineapple. I wanna try it.." Ally spoke seductively yet there was a hint of sleepiness in her voice. You turned your head and took in her disheveled state. Only you got to see the pristine and up tight Ally Mayfair like this... you were lucky and grateful for her.

Your girlfriend shot you a small wink before getting off of the bed and making her way to the bathroom, giving you a full view of her plump naked ass. Swaying her hips as she walked away. That was all yours, and you planned to make it so. The diamond ring tucked away behind your clothes in your dresser held that promise...

[tomatograter]

Could I ask for your thoughts on Rose and her connections to the other kids? I think that Rose is one character that many people just boil down to "goth alcoholic lesbian" and it bugs me a lot, so I would like to see a different and nuanced analysis on her.

I've gone back and forth in answering this (or rather HOW to answer this) for a long while. I think Rose is one of the most crucial characters for Homestuck as a narrative, and she's incidentally always been one of my favorites. What i mean by this is that explaining rose is hard, in the way that 'summarizing every other HS subplot' is hard. Objectively, I can’t tell you why rose is good, much in the same way i can’t force you to like pineapple on pizza, but i can try to explain why *i* like rose.

So I'll try to start with a statement: Rose is a difficult little girl. She’s not sweet or compliant or naturally inclined to be motherly or comforting or even KIND, broadly speaking. She’s a cynic, a hater, and a proto-intellectual who wants to feel like she has already figured out everything that has to be ‘figured’ about the world. (Spoiler alert, the conclusion is “it sucks. Blow it to bits.”)

The things that upset her the most are the things she doesn’t know or cannot make sense of. Why does her mother act in such erratic ways? Why does she constantly debase herself in shameful displays of negligent rationality and responsibility? Is it all a game to her? Is this how all adults are, messy and unkempt and deranged? (According to Freud, whose’s name is certainly mentioned enough by Fellow Online TruthSeekers Of The Human Psyche to be considered the utmost authority in just about everything there is to know, no questions asked, the response is “i guess?”) What the fuck even happened to her cat, anyway? Anybody got a baseline 101 on mortality? Does anyone know what the fuck is going on, ever? Is humanity fated to an automated cycle of dull incompetence??????

Rose hoards and utilizes even the most esoteric forms of knowledge as her shield, sword, and building blocks against the fog of uncertainty most people describe as ‘reality’. To truly know something is to rob it of its power and make it your own, ensuring you are not only safe, but impervious to any harm it could possibly cause. Her ambition and defiance set her apart even from the other betas, who wanted to follow the rules and invest in teamwork. Where jade is whimsical and vaguely helpful in a informative tutorial pixie-like way, rose’s advice is delivered via sarcastic remarks and looking for cheats by conversing with the devil. She antagonizes the patronizing questline she's been given in favor of ripping SBURB a new one. Rose is firstly concerned with improving herself, and then maybe sort of (kind of, nothing is settled on stone, what happens, happens) pass it onto her own if they REALLY cant figure it out. There’s a sense that she would sacrifice just about anything to granted the ultimate form of knowledge, the appropriate response and middle-finger to anything, and she hungers for it, which proves to be a little self-destructive. 

Except as much as she wants to put up a veneer of detached, individualistic intellectualism, she still cares far too much for the simplest human accomplishments. She cares for her friends. She envies the lives they've led, and they sound so intriguing when compared to her sterile routine. Her pet cat was once her biggest companion and source of comfort, and finding him dead crushes her. She legitimately would've liked to have a good relationship with her mom, which as we all know ends up more or less the same way. (I tend to disagree with most people who treat rose's living situation as 'pretty good/dramaticized', having a guardian who's almost never sober isn't a comedic or easy experience.) Her quest is borne out of insecurity, uncertainty, and stubbornly trying to prove herself right. Because somebody has to be.

Her faults are just as interesting to me as her qualities, for all the 'mean goth lesbian' talk the way she misses her mother and tries to reverse-engineer a connection with her beyond the grave by dabbling with the same poisons is incredibly compelling, and speaks to a side of rose's many people take for granted: she doesn't have all the answers. She's improvising. She's, like, 15 years old and trying so hard to come off as a badass but she can barely contain her wondering babble long enough to show up for an important date in time. Even in her self-sabotage rose is earnest.

This isn't the sort of narrative you usually see applied to women in fiction, or even when it IS applied, it is only to admonish their efforts and promptly slot them into a love-interest shaped hole. (Because yeah, rose being a lesbian and not falling for any of the assumed important guys does matter very much actually.) Even her turn to grimdarkness pulls from tropes reserved to epic gritty brooding male heroes- avenging her family, wrecking anything and everything in her path, Frank Castle Punisher style. I like rose because she's like matilda, if matilda went wretched sick at age 11 and took the first chance she saw to pierce an ogre through the eyes and ride its corpulent cadaver down a waterfall. She's an unrepentant monstress, cloaking herself in mythos that justify the existence of the unknowable and unjustifiable when rationality predictably falls short of truth, and a snooty little know-it-all who wants to create something so raw and important people will have no choice but know her name, and most importantly, she gets away with it. 

[dishonestkilla]

Hate Me

This is a very short headcanon I thought of while listening to the song below.

TW: Angst, language, NSFW, 18+ content, mentions of violence, smut, toxic relationship, nasty smut it's nasty so read at ur ownnnnnnnn risk

Pairing: Drug Dealer!ReaderAU × Dabi

words: 3k

There was a thick silence in the dark alley where they stood. The only sound being the sound of tobacco burning on the other side of the cancer stick that was placed between her plush lips, the smoke she inhaled being freed the moment she breathed out, letting the toxins out towards his furious face.

Teal eyes burnt through her soul, shooting daggers at her. If a gaze could kill, she would've been long dead.

"So, that is all you are? A petty criminal?" The question was more rhetorical than something that actually needed to be asked. Dabi never knew what she actually did, hell, he now wanted to know if he ever actually was aware of who she was..But now, all that he could feel was a slice of anger blinding his sight.

"Yeah," She shrugged, still unfazed by his shaking figure and in one second, she could've sworn that a blue flame sparked on the surface of his scarred face but being the stubborn woman, the warning sign of his rage was ignored.

To her, his wrath was not justified nor was it plausible. This was her life, it had always been. Just because she let him spend a night here and there, caressed the side of his rough face, kissed his lips tenderly and loved him dearly, holding him close whenever she felt like breaking, it didn't mean that he could interfere in her business life.

"You have been lying to me all this time? Staged working at Kurogiri's bar for what? To get your hands on some filthy money?? Is that it? Money? Is that all you care for? Don't you think that our world has enough problems, wouldn't you like to be part of something that is actually worth a thing?" Dabi's voice raised slightly at the end, his hands flying up in dissatisfaction as he eyed her, but the sight he saw was anything but pleasant.

Her face had been contorted into a crooked smile, head tilted go the side just a little, orbs darker than usual. That grimace made him so mad, he could've sworn a vein in his neck popped from how tense he had become.

"Listen to yourself, acting all big and tough. Fucking hell," Y/N blurted, a big puff of smoke leaving her throat as she laughed out, "So what if I am not the Messiah. So what if I am not like you, a saint, a chosen one. I have been doing this ever since I left home, if you don't like it, you don't have to be going out with me." She continued, face turning serious, her orbs now igniting a new flame in themselves.

"You don't have to love me, if you don't want to accept me," her voice was barely audible when she said that but knowing Dabi, Y/N was sure he heard her.

"Why don't you let me help you then? Because I do love you, fuck, I love you so much, isn't it proof enough that I'd put myself as a villain at risk to be exposed to some junkie that would die to sell me to the police? Just to be able to he-" before the real eyed male could continue, he was interrupted, Y/N now also tensed up, lips quivering, she was mad and it was evident.

"I don't need your damn help, you bastard!" And in the next second, her hand had made contact with the surface of his face, leaving a red print behind.

"I owe you nothing and don't want to either," she hissed, jaw clenching, hands balled into fists as her gaze was now hunting him down.

"Owe me? Who in the fuck told you that in a relationship people owe each other things?!"

"Who in the fuck dated you, so that you know now?!" Her words weren't little knives into his hearts, no, it was like her ever so soft hands wrapped around the organ itself, crushing it inside of his chest. Just like that.

"You don't mean that," He whispered, now suddenly vulnerable, hurt and saddened.

"Yes, I do. I do, because you always claim to know everything, mess up my business, try to tell me what the fuck to do, and then dare to teach me on relationships. Reality check, Dabi. You're a villain, a burnt, brutal, scary villain. Nothing more." She yelled at this point. Tears welling up in her eyes, entire body shaking in frustration as her voice made it's way to the ears of the black haired man.

His lips were shaking, and now it wasn't only anger and sadness inside of his guts, it was something much worse.

Dabi wanted to wrap his hands around her throat and squeeze. Hard.

But no, not like one of the times where he had her against the wall, hips plowing into hers, one nipple between his fingers as she moaned loudly at his ministrations, head against the concrete. Not like those times where he let out his steam on her, ravaging her body, leaving purple marks on her satin alike skin that he had adorned with love bites moments before.

It wasn't one of the many moments in which she submitted to him with a mewl because of how roughly his digits burned her as a sign of affection alongside of his length caressing her velvety walls, bruising thrusts being the source for the nasty clapping and squelching noises that filled the room of the empty bathroom stall in some random club.

This was different, he wanted to cut her oxygen supply for good, watch as her face started to grimace, eyes rolling back as he took her life ever so slowly before burning her perfect body in his flames, feeling her warmth one last time before extinguishing her.

Without even noticing, he had moved forward, trapping her between the brick barricade behind her, caging her between his arms while holding her down with his own weight.

The way she looked at him caused a low growl to erupt his chest, a rush of heat running down his spine as he watched her with intent eyes.

Now, it was his turn to smirk twistedly at Y/N as the girl gulped. It wasn't like she was weak, the opposite, her quirk was one to be feared at least to say, after all, she could manipulate other people's nerves to bend at her own will, if she wanted to, she could cause him severe pain, but instead of that, she let him pin her down with his eyes. Despite of being powerful, she was fairly aware of Dabi's high pain tolerance as well as his immense strength. Y/N wasn't stupid enough to try and fight the male when she was intoxicated at that.

"Let me show you what you do to me.."

Before she could even protest, his lips had been attached to her sweet spot right below her right ear, a meal leaving her plump lips, melting at his touch and the way his calloused hands traveled the surface of her body. Arms now around his neck as she pulled him impossibly closer, causing Dabi to snicker against her throat while leaving wet kisses on her neck, marking her in his wake.

"Look at you, already a whimpering mess and I haven't even started yet," he rasped, now standing up straight again to meet her desperate gaze.

"Shut up," the girl retorted with sass, now it was her turn to tease him.

Lips colliding with his own, the taste of nicotine and whiskey flooding her senses, everything a blur and the reason on why they had started to banter long forgotten, the only thing mattering being their lust and desire for one another.

While his fingers tugged at the strands of her locks, her own had started to fumble with his belt, haphazardly ripping away the leather piece before she slid down the wall to kneel in front of his growing erection.

The heels of her shoes now meeting the wall as he had granted little space so she could do whatever she wanted to.

Soft pecks placing themselves against his restrained bulge before his hands wrapped themselves around her hair, making her look up at his gaze, "Get to it," he ordered and Y/N didn't have to be told twice before pulling his pants and boxers down to below his thighs, just enough to grant access to the angry tip of his cock, precum already leaking down the slit.

Experimentally she licked a stripe from his base to the tip, tasting his slightly pineapple flavoured release.

Yes, pineapple. She had forced him to eat the fruit regularly, if he wanted her lips around his length and his shaft down her throat.

One hand wrapped around him, thumb and index finger not able to touch, she started to jerk off the tall individual in front of herself, eyes focused on his leaking tip, paying attention to the area with kitten licks.

"Did you forget how to suck dick? Do I have to remind you?" He snapped at her, a sneaky smirk on his face.

Not wanting to play his petty game, the female let her head down till her nose met with his pubic bone, irises blown wide with lust at the sight of him groaning, his head lulled back at the immense pressure of feeling the walls of her throat inviting him.

Repeating the action a few times she then proceeded to suck down his erection with quick yet impactful bobbing motions, cheeks hollowing around him, practically milking him for whatever he was about to give her.

The two were fighting, they hated each other at times and probably had been at the verge of killing the other more than just once, however, they also knew each other more than anyone else did and not only physically but also emotionally. Now, the knowledge of one another's body and sweet spots were the advantage of their frankly scandalous little escapade in some dark alleyway where she had been dealing some of her 'happy pills' and 'devil's lettuce' the latter being what she was high on herself. The only difference being the passion and burning desire that fueled her intoxicated mind to wander even more. 'Test the waters and play with fire', as she liked to say.

One of his scarred hands darted out into her hair, nimble fingers digging in as he took a fist of her locks into his palm, pulling her head down his entire shaft, the intrusion causing a soft gag to escape her throat, eyes shooting up to meet his mischievous gaze upon her, the sight of his lazy smirk yet fiery orbs sending a jolt straight to her core.

He had regained control of what was going down, his hips now ramming into her mouth as if it was a fleshlight for him to abuse. The mere sight of how her pretty lips wrapped around his tip just to be parted more whilst he forced her down onto his length, the way she salivated all over him, drool now dribbling down onto her exposed cleavage that was peeking up from underneath the flimsy top she wore, her eyes slowly watering as she laid her hands on either side of his thick thighs. It was mesmerizing, if he could he would take a picture of it.

Finally satisfied with one last thrust into her sloppy cavern, the male didn't wait any longer before pulling her up to her wobbly legs, turning her around, he pushed her face into the wall behind herself, moving behind her as his lips latched onto her neck again, leaving bite marks here and there while his hands made quick work of her leather pants, pulling them down her thighs hastily, groaning at the sight of her lacy panties, "Seems like you've expected this, yeah? Getting fucked by no other than your man in a nasty alleyway." Making her sneer at him, she was quick to reply to his comment, "My man? Darling, you're not even a man in the first place!" That was it.

That was what caused his next moves to be crude and rougher than usual.

Pinning her arms behind her back as he bent her over against the wall, hips plowing into her, intruding her insides to spread for him, grunting as her wet, spongy walls clenched around him.

Without further do, he started to slam into her with slow, yet deep thrusts, the force of each thrust causing her entire body to jolt forward, pushing her against the wall even more.

His moves never faltered as he pulled out of her so merely his tip was coated in her juices, forcing his entire dick into her repeatedly before he set a steady pace of in and out.

Dabi was taking his time judging on how he dragged out the moment by changing between steady thrusts and reckless ramming.

One hand that supported her hips whilst she moaned and mewled at her insides being rearranged by him over and over, lifted, igniting a fire for a second before raining down onto each ass cheek of the girl in front of himself, leaving red hand prints that would stay for quite some time, marking her squeal at the force, the rough treatment being painful yet so pleasant that she couldn't help but moan out incoherent words as his hips sped up to an erratic pace, knocking the air out of her lungs.

"Yeah? What was that? Who isn't your man, huh? Say that again, I want to hear you say it." The way his voice seemed so unfazed caused her to roll back her hips like some sex-crazed animal, whimpering at the lack of treatment when he suddenly pulled out just to forcefully pull her flush against himself.

However, Y/N wasn't that fragile, with that being said, a smirk crept onto the female's flushed face, "Not you-" Her answer caused a low growl emit from the male, as he pulled her back by her hair, now back arched even more as he groaned against her ear, voice raspy, the hand that held her wrists wrapping around her throat, cutting the air supply of the girl, hips assaulting her again, the sound of skin slapping filling the quiet alley.

As her walls clenched yet again caused by him abusing her cunt for more than half an hour without letting her release, each time pulling out just to make sure she'd get the message of who was in charge. At this point she was shaking, her jaw slack while tears ran down her cheeks, staining her face.

"Come on, baby, tell everyone here who your man is and I will fuck you until you cum all over my cock, little slut," He could swear that he felt her grow even tighter around his length as he degraded her yet again.

"D-D-Dabi.." her voice was a mere whisper and not enough for the hot headed man, shaking his head as his hips came to a halt again. Denying her release all over.

"What, princess, I couldn't hear you and I bet no one else could either. Use your pretty brain if you want to cum."

Those words finally pulled her trigger as she started to beg the wanted villain, "H-hah~ Please, Dabi, I am yours, all yours and - you're my m-man, please make me cum.." She pleaded, voice desperate and in a hoarse tone.

Pleased with her begging, the black haired criminal picked up his recklessly rough pace again, one hand creeping to her front as he started to rub her clit in circles, and all of that combined to the low growl and grunts coming from him while biting her neck was enough to make white flash in her vision, body trembling as her release gushed out of her abused hole, screaming out his name.

Vigorously shaking in his arms as he worked her furthermore until he released his seed into her, painting her walls white whilst she milked him.

"I've got you, I've got you." The man cooed, caressing her body as he slowly let her calm down before pulling out of her, helping her redress as he pulled his pants up himself, watching her lean against the wall, hair tousled and mascara running down her eyes as he held out a hand, wiping away the black streaks lovingly, her head automatically leaning into his touch.

"I hate everything about you," she mumbled, making him chuckle, cocking an eyebrow at her as he watched her put a blunt between those lips of hers, lighting up the piece before inhaling the toxins inside of it, eyes rolling to the back of her head in comfort.

Moving forward he took the piece from her, he grabbed her jaw after she took another big hit, kissing her softly, tongues and smoke mixing together before he took her hand and lead her to his nearby apartment, with her just strolling after him like a lost puppy just to be cuddled up on his chest moments later upon her arrival in his shabby little space, arms around him while smoking yet another blunt.

Looking up at his turquoise eyes that held so many unreadable emotions, she let out a huff, pouting at him before laying her cheek flat against the surface of his sternum again.

"I didn't mean that," She slowly admitted, looking up to see him smirk a little, man if she could've just punched him. Well, she could..But shouldn't..Unless..

"I know that you were just Dic-"

"Don't say it, I swear to god, do not say it!"

"Dickrived,"

"Ugh! you're such a dork."

Both laughed at the silly comment Dabi made proudly, his entire chest puffing up before he embraced her with his arms, "Am I really such a monster?" He suddenly asked before she unexpectedly kissed his lips with passion, in an attempt to quiet him down.

"Shush, no you aren't. And even if you were.. You are my monster." Those were the last few words he heard before they both drifted off to sleep, never knowing what would expect them next.

-----------------

A/N: This took longer than I thought, phew. Hope y'all thirsty ones liked it hehe.

[livinginfictions]

Tag/Ask Game

This is a sort of Check-in Tag game thing? I was tagged by @vikingstrash, so thank you dear!

1. Why did you choose your url?

I used to have a different tumblr, and then my sister saw me on it and literally took the mouse and made me follow her own tumblr, and it made me So Immensely uncomfortable, I immediately went and made a whole new blog, and messaged all my mutuals privately to tell them I was moving so my sister wouldn't find out. As I struggled to come up with something more creative than 'time-lady," I remembered one of my mom's favorite sayings, "Reality sucks, live in fiction" and since livinginfiction was taken, my friend (who was helping with the crisis) and I added an 's.' Voila. Seven years later, it's the only username i have online. XD

2. Any side blog?

Three, actually. We've got @merthurismycrack where I reblog Merthur shit, @samspsychicpowers for some SPN stuff, and the side blog that's basically my main blog at this point: @asterekmess which is where all my Teen Wolf and Sterek stuff goes.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

Uhhh, I've been on this blog since August of 2014, but my old blog was started in....March 2013. I've been around a fucking while.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

HA. Fuck no. Do I look that organized? Y'all get three hours of spam reblogs, and then I disappear into the aether. How it should be. XD

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

This is essentially the same as I said for question one. Sister found the old blog, and I needed a new one. I tend to make my side blogs for more pointed material, so that my main blog can have like...the amalgamation of general stuff i like, and then I can keep the fandomy content more concentrated into the side blogs.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

Originally, I did not have this icon. I had this pic I found online with these Beautiful bronze wings against a black background. But then, around the time I decided I wanted to sort of...simplify things and make my username for my online stuff all the same, with all the same pfp's so that I was easily recognized, etc, I realized that....that picture was not mine. I didn't design it or anything. And i couldn't find its source to ask for permission to use it. And it started making me feel shitty for using it in the first place. So I spent like an hour and a half trying to make my Own Wing pic to use, and failed miserably. As a last ditch effort, i went through my 'artistic' photos on my phone and found this one. I adore sky pics, and cloud pics, etc, so it was super my thing, and I just slapped it on there. Still not sick of it. XD I also went to my side blogs and changed out the pfp's for photos that I'd taken, except the sterek blog, because that one is literally just a black triskelion on a white background, and it's a pretty non-specific thing. I would have used a picture of my Own Tattoo, but it's very hard to get a picture of my back that doesn't have weird lighting, and I'm just too lazy.

7. Why did you choose your header?

All my headers are also photos that I've taken or art pieces that I've made. In the case of this blog, it's a picture I made with a 'galaxy maker' online thingy. I love green. I love blue. Ta dah. In general i just try to find something that gives me the right vibes or has the right color palette to match what it's for. (orange and blue for sterek, trees for merlin, and wings for spn)

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

On this blog? I.....just spent two hours digging through all my posts tagged 'personal' bc i wanted the post that I MADE with the most notes...and i have no idea. I mostly respond to other posts, rather than making my own. The highest note count i can find is a post i made abt having friends that aren't in your fandom, which means you can use inspirational quotes to help them through tough times without them realizing ur quoting doctor who or something. 22 notes. *fingerguns* I'm famous, i know.

9. How many mutuals do you have ?

Is...is that a thing i can check?? or do you expect me to hand count??

10. How many followers do you have right now?

Uhghhghghgh, this blog has 439 at the moment, and i'm pretty sure not a lot of those are porn bots, bc i usually screen new followers for it. a lot of them have come over from my sterek blog though.

11. How many people do you follow?

hehe....uh...36.....one of which is my husband....

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

I don't even know what the requirements for something being a 'shitpost' are....but i think no?

EDIT: I Take it Back, I just found a post I made with "Hot Take: PIneapples are an honorary citrus fruit" and I believe that counts? So YES.

13. How often do you use tumblr?

Uh, nearly every day, multiple times a day. Sometimes i forget it exists for a couple days, though. It's my only social media. I dont use twitter or facebook or instagram. I Have Accounts, but I literally dont open those apps more than once a month.

14. Did you have a fight /argument with another  blog ? Who won?

My sterek blog gets in fights more often than it should. XD I'm feisty. And I dunno who wins, i think no one. it's tumblr. there's no real winning or losing.

15. How do feel about “ you need to reblog  this” post?

Oh 90% of the time I'll fucking ignore it on principle. I come to tumblr to enjoy myself and escape. I refuse to guilt the shit out of myself and my followers for not reblogging something deemed Essential. I don't care how deep the topic is or how heavy. Sometimes that's WHY I'm not reblogging it, because I don't want that shit on my blog. The other 10% of the time, I'll go to most recent reblog that Doesn't have the guilty shit on it, and then reblog that.

16. Do you like tag games?

It sounds narcissistic, but I like being tagged in them and doing them. I just Really Really Really hate tagging anyone else.

17. Do you like ask games?

Yup, I think they're fun, though I really don't think anyone wants to know this much about me.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Uhhh...I have no clue. I think...I think I might be the tumblr famous mutual, or at least my sterek blog is....

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Yup. My husband.

20. Tagged?

Uh, no one. makes me anxious. XD If someone wants to do it, go ahead and claim i tagged you, i promise no one'll call ur bluff.

[diverse-hearts-moved]

⛧𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐈'𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑!

1. Alias/Name: Mirakell, Mira, Myra ~

2. Birthday: 19th April

3. Zodiac sign:  Aries

4. Height: 4′11 (I am a tiny lol)

5. Hobbies: Writing, RPing, Reading, Gaming, listening to music, freaking out over my broken body

6. Favorite color: Red’s and Blues ~ mainly blues tbh

7. Favorite book: The Amber Spyglass by Phillip Pullman. I love His Dark Materials.

8. Last song: Never Let Me Go - Florence and the Machine

9. Last film/show: Omg I can’t recall the name >_< My netflix habits tend to all merge together...

10. Recent reads: Currently re-reading The Old Kingdom collection (Garth Nix books)

11. Inspiration: Music and games tend to be my biggest inspirations. One of the things that hooked me to Genshin was that the world somewhat reminded me of the setting of my novel - though the way in which God’s interact with humans is a million times more complicated, lol. Tales of Vesperia is another source of media I play when I need a muse boost for the novel ^^

12. Story behind URL: Honestly - It was simply a name I picked up when shifting from singl e muse blogs to a multimuse that spans multiple fandoms. So the canons became Diverse-Hearts and my ocs are @diverse-hearts-ocs​ for I am that lazy when it comes to URls xDD

13. Fun fact about me: I’m in a long distance relationship, I’m allergic to pineapples and peanuts and I’m tired or in pain 90% of the time ~ OH I own a cat called Biscuit ~

Tagged by - @windblumebard​

Tagging - Whoever wishes to do it! I suck at tagging people soz >_<