#split back sploosh

[mimaveil]

#alternatively: they have recently returned to the used chew toy!#if it’s ugly that just means it’s real

Unironically love logging onto Tumblr dot com to see a beloved mutual has discovered a new batch of sad old men to sink their teeth into and shake vigorously like a dog that caught a squirrel and following the dash backwards to the post that made them pick up the scent. Truly unparalleled social media experience.

[musashden]

Just watched a video about how during production River and Takemura were the same person and I just...

Wow

River would have been the best, most developed love interest if they hadn't split his personality and missions in two and gave the bulk to Takemura only for Goro to turn you down when you volunteer to take him out to dinner and then be forever barred from flirting with him again... Kill me.

Think about it... hear me out!

River Takemura. Half Japanese and Native/Black. Full head of hair with a grey streak. Keep the coat but make it black.

Sploosh.

Imagine the first time you see River he's Saburo's body guard. Then after he's murdered and you're murdered River finds you in the trash and gets you to Vic. The two of you spend about 3 or 4 missions trying to get the truth to Hanako only for her to excommunicate River from Arasaka. He falls back on his old skills and becomes a private investigator and reconnects with the family he has in Nightcity. A family he wants you to meet after you help him save his nephew.

... and after all that you have a date on a water tower and you finally smash.

But then... oh God him breaking up with you in PL would hurt so much more if he were that perfect. I'd die.

[charlesollielandooscararthur]

Spaghetti

Summary:Y/n HATES being ticked (or in this case poked in the ribs)

y/n stood in Ollie's kitchen, completely focused on her very important task—making microwave spaghetti. It wasn't anything fancy, just one of those ready-to-eat meals she'd grabbed from his fridge, but still, she took her time peeling back the plastic cover, making sure it wouldn't explode in the microwave like last time.

She had just reached for the microwave door when—

Poke.

A sudden jab right at her ribs.

y/n screamed.

Not a cute, surprised yelp. No. A full-blown, high-pitched, murder is about to happen shriek. Her whole body jolted like she'd just been electrocuted, arms flailing wildly—

And the spaghetti?

It soared.

The unopened plastic container launched out of her hands, flipping through the air in slow motion. For a split second, she thought—maybe it'll land on the counter, maybe I can save it—

But no.

It smacked against the edge of the counter, popped open mid-air, and—

SPLOOSH.

Red sauce and noodles everywhere.

The floor. The cabinets. The counter. Her shirt. Even Ollie's sock-clad feet were victims of the massacre.

Silence.

y/n stood frozen, sauce dripping from her hand where she had tried (and failed) to catch it. Slowly, slowly, she turned to Ollie, who was standing there, hand still midair from where he'd poked her.

His eyes were wide. His lips twitched.

And then—

He burst out laughing.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" y/n shrieked, throwing her hands in the air. "OLLIE—LOOK WHAT YOU DID!"

He was howling, doubling over, clutching his stomach like this was the funniest thing he'd ever seen.

"I—" He wheezed between laughs. "I didn't—think—it'd be that bad—"

"Oh, you thought?" she snapped, gesturing wildly at the spaghetti crime scene. "You thought you'd just poke me and this wouldn't happen?"

She was fuming. Not just because of the mess—but because he knew how much she hated being poked there. And he still did it!

Ollie, still laughing, wiped at his eyes, stepping forward like he was going to comfort her.

y/n immediately took a step back. "No. No, don't even—"

But Ollie lunged.

"OLLIE—"

He grabbed her around the waist, lifting her slightly off the ground as she flailed in protest. She could feel his stupid grin against her shoulder.

"Stop being mad, y/n/n," he murmured, voice annoyingly soft, like he wasn't completely at fault for all of this.

She gritted her teeth, arms still stiff at her sides. "You owe me spaghetti."

He hummed, pretending to think about it. "Or..."

Her eyes narrowed. "Ollie, don't."

"...we could just split this one?"

Before she could react, his fingers dipped into the spaghetti on the counter and—

SMOOSH.

y/n gasped.

Did this boy just—did he just wipe sauce on her face?

Her hands balled into fists.

"Oh, you are dead."

And then—war.

She grabbed a handful of noodles off the counter and shoved them straight into his chest. He yelped, but before he could retaliate, she went straight for his hair, smearing sauce through the strands.

"NO—WAIT—y/n—"

"YOU STARTED THIS, BEARMAN!"

Within seconds, they were both covered in spaghetti. y/n was laughing so hard she could barely breathe, even as Ollie wrestled her into a hug, pressing his (now sauce-covered) cheek against hers.

They stood there, a complete mess, the kitchen looking like a crime scene, panting from laughter.

Ollie exhaled dramatically. "Well... guess we're ordering pizza."

y/n, still breathless, glared up at him. "Yeah. And you're paying."

Just as y/n and Ollie were catching their breath, standing in the absolute disaster zone they had created, the unmistakable sound of the front door opening made them both freeze.

They turned to each other, eyes wide.

Footsteps.

Then—

"Ollie? We're home!"

Terri's voice rang through the house, followed by the sound of David setting his keys down on the counter.

Panic set in.

y/n grabbed Ollie's wrist, whispering urgently, "Fix it!"

Ollie, still covered in spaghetti, gave her a look. "Fix it? How? With magic?"

"Do something!" she hissed.

But before they could even attempt damage control, Terri stepped into the kitchen.

And stopped dead in her tracks.

Her eyes slowly scanned the room, taking in the sight before her—the sauce-splattered walls, the noodles draped over the counter, the two teenagers completely covered in spaghetti like they had fought for their lives and lost.

David walked in right behind her, took one look, and let out a long sigh.

"For God's sake."

Ollie let out a weak laugh. "Hey, Mum. Hey, Dad."

Terri blinked. "Do I even want to know?"

y/n, still gripping Ollie's wrist, immediately pointed at him. "He did it!"

Ollie's jaw dropped. "ME?" He whirled on her. "You threw spaghetti at me!"

"Because you made me drop it in the first place!"

David pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why are you two like this?"

y/n, wiping sauce off her cheek, muttered, "Good question."

Terri folded her arms, giving them that look—the one every mother had perfected. "So let me get this straight... instead of just making your food like normal people, you decided to—what? Have a food fight in my kitchen?"

Ollie bit his lip, nudging y/n slightly. "Should we tell her it was microwave spaghetti that didn't even make it into the microwave?"

y/n smacked his arm. "Ollie, shut up!"

Terri groaned, shaking her head. "You two are cleaning every inch of this kitchen. And yourselves, immediately."

Ollie saluted. "Yes, ma'am."

y/n, meanwhile, gave her best innocent smile. "Terri, in my defense, I did try to make food like a normal person, but your son assaulted me—"

Ollie rolled his eyes. "I poked you!"

"EXACTLY!"

David muttered something under his breath about teenagers, already walking away like he refused to deal with this. Terri just sighed again before giving them one last unimpressed look.

"Clean everything. And don't even think about leaving this kitchen until it looks better than before."

And with that, she walked off, leaving y/n and Ollie standing in their disaster of a crime scene.

Ollie turned to y/n, lips twitching. "You clean it."

She scoffed. "You started it!"

"We both started it."

y/n narrowed her eyes. "Fine. But if you ever poke me again—"

Ollie grinned, stepping closer. "What, like this?"

Before she could react, his fingers twitched near her hip—

"OLLIE, I SWEAR TO—"

And just like that, round two almost began. But this time, y/n grabbed the nearest sponge instead of spaghetti, smacking it against his chest before shoving the roll of paper towels into his hands.

"Shut up and clean, Bearman."

Still laughing, Ollie gave in, rolling up his sleeves. "Fine, fine. But next time? We're ordering food."

y/n and Ollie spent the next hour scrubbing every inch of the kitchen, wiping down counters, cleaning sauce splatters off the walls, and picking up rogue noodles that had somehow made it into the light fixture.

"How did spaghetti even get here?" Ollie muttered, using a damp cloth to wipe sauce off the fridge door.

y/n, standing on a chair to pluck noodles from the ceiling (because somehow, physics had abandoned them), scoffed. "You happened, that's how."

Ollie shot her a look. "Excuse me? I was just minding my business, being the best boyfriend in the world, when you—"

"—ruined my dinner," y/n cut in, hopping off the chair and tossing the last noodle into the bin. "So technically, this is all your fault."

Ollie gasped dramatically. "You're gonna blame me for your inability to hold a bowl? Wow. This is betrayal."

y/n rolled her eyes but bit back a laugh. The two of them always bickered like this—it was just how they were. But beneath it all, there was nothing but love.

After what felt like forever, the kitchen was finally clean. The floor no longer felt like a war zone of spaghetti, the counters gleamed, and the air no longer smelled exclusively of tomato sauce.

Ollie leaned against the counter, crossing his arms. "There. Good as new."

y/n took one last glance around, satisfied. "Barely," she teased, nudging him.

Before he could respond, Terri reappeared, eyeing the kitchen critically. She ran a finger along the counter, then the stove, then even inspected the floor.

Finally, she sighed. "Alright. I suppose this will do."

y/n smirked. "You're welcome."

Ollie nudged her. "She wasn't thanking you."

Terri shook her head, a small smile playing on her lips. "You two are so much trouble."

"But you love us," Ollie grinned.

"Debatable," David called from the other room, making y/n snort.

Terri just sighed. "Next time, just order takeout."

y/n gave Ollie a pointed look. "See? Even your mum knows you shouldn't be trusted in a kitchen."

Ollie scoffed. "I poked you, I wasn't committing a crime!"

"Tell that to my spaghetti."

Terri, clearly so done with them, just walked away, mumbling something about teenagers under her breath.

Once she was gone, Ollie turned to y/n, smirking. "Wanna try making spaghetti again?"

y/n narrowed her eyes. "If I do, and you so much as breathe near me while I'm holding it, I will throw it at you."

Ollie held up his hands in surrender. "Noted." Then, after a pause, he added, "But what if—"

"OLLIE."

And with that, they officially gave up on making dinner.

Instead, they grabbed a couple of snacks, collapsed onto the couch, and put on a movie. Because honestly? No spaghetti was worth that level of chaos.

[blackjackkent]

Ethel is most definitely done talking; we go straight into combat on entering the hag's lair.

"Ohhh, the big tough hero finally showed up! I told you, petal - you can't hurt me without killing little Vanra. I have you beat, so do the heroic thing. DIE!"

Rakha is really bringing out her best angry eyes for Ethel, and I love it.

This fight is, as always, a little bit of a pain because of the "Pearlspore Bell" mushrooms, which all heal/resurrect Ethel (and themselves) at the end of the round if not destroyed first. Luckily, Rakha read all of the info Mayrina had on hand back at Old Garlow's, so the gang knows this and are able to focus down two of the mushrooms while waiting for Rakha's turn to throw the hag's bane.

Ethel does try to do her usual splitting-up trick, but once again, it's easy to distinguish which one is the real one because it is the only one with the "Hag's Pregnancy" effect, which means Rakha knows exactly where to throw.

YEET.

"What did you-- hurk. Stay down, Vanra... URGGHHHH..."

Simply watch.

With a truly unpleasant wet splooshing sound, Ethel vomits up the girl, then screams in Rakha's face.

"ARGH! YOU COST ME A FRESH YOUNG HAG! I'M GOING TO PAINT THE WALL WITH YOUR GUTS, YOU LITTLE SHITSTAIN!"

-----

She isn't able to make good on the threat, of course. An added bonus of the hag's bane is that she's nauseous and unable to take actions for three turns, which was plenty of time for Lae'zel to beat the shit out of the remaining mushroom and then everyone to beat the shit out of Ethel.

Rakha feels a sort of bitter pleasure, watching Ethel fall. That's for what you did to me. Again, she thinks. But of course... she does not know how Ethel came back the first time; she does not know for certain that it cannot happen again.

Then I'll kill her again, she thinks, but the idea carries a heavy note of weariness. She is growing tired of killing... and yet so often it is the only thing she knows to do.

The girl, Vanra, comes crawling out of hiding as the hag falls dead. There's terror in her eyes and she is trembling violently from head to foot.

"Mmm... Mmmmm..."

Well, Rakha thinks to herself. Ethel may come back... but at least they did do what they said they would. The girl is alive. "You're safe now," she says gruffly. "The hag can't hurt you anymore."

The girl shakes her head, struggling for breath through her panic. "Mu... Muuuuuuu.... MUMMY--!" she finally manages to shriek, and barrels away, slamming her way out the door of the lair.

[tom-is-online]

SPLATOON X SEKAI AU

LEO / NEED - HERO MODE Ichika - Inkling - hero shot / splattershot - Agent 1 Saki - Octoling - Undercover Brella - Agent 2 Honami - Octoling - heavy splatling / dynamo roller - Agent 3 Shiho - Inkling - 52 GAL - Agent 4 After the great zapfish is stolen from Inkopolis the Neo Squidbeak splatoon, Consisting of Captain Miku and her four agents, takes out to find it!

MORE MORE JUMP - IDOLS Minori - Inkling - sploosh-o-matic Haruka - Inkling - trislinger Airi - Inkling - krak-on roller Shizuku - Inkling - aerospray Splatfests are back! Inkopolis's upcoming all-girl idol group is here to spice up the classic fest format, picking a topic and splitting into duos to support their side! Whoever's side fights hardest for their beliefs will reign supreme!

VIVID BAD SQUAD - BATTLE Kohane - Octoling - splat roller An - Octoling - enperry dualies Akito - Inkling - clash blaster / rapid blaster Toya - Octoling - e-liter After the sudden appearance of swarms of octolings, many flooded Vivid Street - becoming a hub for the Turf War scene. After a trio of Octolings against all odds swept a season's 4 VS 4 bracket many new teams have attempted to surpass their raw power

WONDERLAND X SHOWTIME - CHALLENGE MODE Tsukasa - Octoling - splatana stamper Emu - Inkling - carbon roller Nene - Octoling - splatterscope Rui - Octoling - Natuilus Come one and come all! Water or participate in WXS's CHALLENGE BATTLES! Where battling meets the outrageous! Play your part and maybe your team will receive some help from our wonderful helpers in battle!

NIGHTCORD AT 25:00 - DLC STORY MODES Kanade - Inkling - Octoshot Mafuyu - Sanitized Octoling - Octoshot Ena - Inkling - painbrush / inkbrush Mizuki - Octoling - Dapple Dualies / trislosher Despite the screams of the Deepsea Metro becoming quieter recently, the chemicals behind "Sanitization" are still spoken of with such fascination by those seeking perfection, talent or themselves.

Feel free to give me any criticism, questions or thoughts in the notes or in my asks, I will elaborate on my thought process

Also whilst I'm here I have ideas on like their nationality cuz i think its important to note down cuz like I put thought into it

Inkopolis Natives Ichika, Airi, Akito, Emu, Kanade, Ena

Octovalley Natives Honami, An, Nene, Rui, Mizuki

Splatsville Natives Shiho, Minori, Shizuku, Kohane

Deepsea Metro Natives Saki, Toya, Tsukasa, Mafuyu

Calimari County Natives Haruka

+ BONUS THOUGHTS

the Calimari Inkantation is just sung by the vocaloids cuz like of course

each unit knows the vocaloids, they are different ppl

L/N Miku (Inkling) is the Captain of Neo Squidbeak

MMJ Miku (Inkling) helps MMJ like a manager

VBS Miku (octoling) on a team with Rin, Len and Luka. helps vbs train, doubles w/ luka

WXS Miku (Inkling) she just likes challenge stuff. maybe shes like judd

NIIGO Miku (Octoling) is like a guide in the deepsea, she don't do much. She knows Mafuyu already

I imagine the L/N story being most similar to Splatoon3's main story

Mafuyu is a high-ranking sanitized octoling soldier, despite the Tenmas + Toya being from the Metro too, they don't know each other due to military ranks

Due to the metro being freed, Toya was not fully sanitized like Mafuyu, which is the reason I have come up with for his hair being like that

Akito has seen Ena go into the deepsea before and is very against the idea. Toya says it's probably a bad idea to go there so it must be horrible

Ena and Akito's dad does NOT like octolings and taught them not to since it's a thing a lot of inkling parents tell their kids.

[scarletsaphire]

Swagger Bishie 22 bc you can *slay* that

22- Kisses in the Rain

Send me a prompt and a ship and I'll write a snippet!

If the school had been smart, they would've canceled the trip. It only made sense; bad rainstorm plus field trip to the closest state park equaled bad idea. But Casper High was clearly not smart, and so here they were, soaking wet, caked in mud, cold, and miserable. At least, most of them were cold. It was at times like these that Danny was grateful that he couldn't get cold.

If the park ranger had been interesting, maybe there would be a bright side to the whole thing, but the guy who was tasked with guiding them clearly was just as miserable as the whole lot. He wasn't loud enough to be heard over the pouring rain anyway. It did mean that Mr. Lancer couldn't be mad that the class had split into their own smaller groups to talk.

Sam and Tucker had gotten into a heated debate about conservation. Or it had started as conservation, but now it sounded a bit more like if a squirrel could take a raccoon in a fight. Either way, it was a heated debate that Danny wanted no part in, so he had let them walk ahead of him and fallen a few steps behind.

A hand found his as Dash matched his stride. "Hi," he said, just loud enough for Danny to hear him over the rain.

"Hi," Danny replied, slightly louder. His hearing was better than Dash's, and they both knew it.

"You should totally do the thing," Dash said.

"I'm not going to do the thing," Danny said, rolling his eyes.

"Why not?" Dash pouted. "It's like you want me to get sick."

"I do not want you to get sick," Danny said. "I just don't want anyone to notice that we're dry and they aren't."

"I can't believe that my boyfriend wants me to get sick," Dash complained as if he hadn't heard a word Danny had said. "And only a few days before the big game too."

Danny shifted his weight to push his shoulder into Dash's side. "You say every game is the big game."

"That's because they are!" Dash argued. "Every game is a big game, which is why I need you there at every game."

"I'd be there whether its a big game or not," Danny pointed out.

"And I appreciate it," Dash replied. "But you won't need to be there if I end up sick from all this rain!"

"You're not going to get sick!" Danny said with a laugh.

"I won't if you do the thing," Dash said.

Danny rolled his eyes one last time before letting intangibility wash over himself, through their connected hands, and over Dash. All of the water that had collected in their clothing fell to the ground in one big sploosh, but it was completely hidden by the still pouring rain. Danny kept the intangibility up, letting them walk completely dry.

"I'm dropping this before we get back to the lodge," Danny said. "I don't want anyone else to notice."

Dash waved his free hand dismissively. "Yeah, that's fair. But isn't this nicer?"

"Yeah, you're right," Danny agreed. "So what are you going to do to thank me?"

"Why do I have to do that?" Dash said. "You're dry now too."

"I was perfectly fine getting wet," Danny said.

"That's what she said," Dash interrupted.

Danny ignored it. "You were the one who wanted to be dry so badly."

"Fine," Dash said. He leaned down just enough to kiss Danny on the cheek before straightening again. "Happy now?"

Danny hummed thoughtfully. "For now. You will need to do more than just that."

"You drive a hard bargain," Dash said.

"I can let you go right now," Danny replied. "Then you won't need to repay me at all."

Dash's grip tightened. "I didn't say you should do that."

"That's what I thought."

[chimachapterbooks]

Gorilla’s Guardian - From the Activity Book Ravens and Gorillas

Ewar the Eagle sat on a tree limb. All was quiet. The Gorillas were asleep with no guard on watch. As far as Ewar could tell, anyone could walk into their compound and capture the whole tribe.

This was exactly what he had warned Gorzan about. Ewar had been helping the other tribes improve their security in case the Crocodiles or Wolves attacked. When he saw that the Gorillas had no protection in place, he couldn't believe his eyes.

"This is ridiculous!" he insisted to Gorzan. "Why, I'll bet I could sneak into your camp and take something, without any of you Gorillas ever knowing." Gorzan had just smiled. "Go ahead, brother. I'll put my favorite branch out in the middle of the compound. You try to take it, and if you can, we'll agree to any extra security you want."

Ewar had waited a few days before making his attempt, just to make sure the Gorillas guard would be down.

/ don't know why I bothered waiting, though, he said to himself. When is their guard not down?

Ewar flew straight toward the center of the compound. Just as he crossed the border, something grabbed him! It yanked him from the sky and flung him onto the dirt.

What grabbed me? Ewar thought, falntically. Was it a rope? A snake?

A Gorilla? Ewar scanned the trees, but all he saw were leaves and vines.

Hmmm, Ewar thought. That was strange. I must have snagged on a branch. I'll just keep to the ground and stay quiet for now.

Ewar crept toward the sleeping Gorillas. As long as he didn't make any noise, he was sure he could sneak in unnoticed.

Sploosh! A bucket of ice-cold water suddenly fell onto Ewar's head.

"Squawk!" he cried out. He immediately clamped a wing over his mouth.

Had he just given himself away to the Gorillas?

He stood perfectly still. A Few Gorillas snored, but none woke up.

Phew, thought Ewar. That was close. Now who threw water on me?

Again, Ewar looked up at the tree branches. But no one was there.

Well something is going on, Ewar said to himself. Maybe the Gorillas have a security system in place after all. It's time to try a new tactic.

Rather than enter the front way, Ewar decided he would go in from the back. He carefully tiptoed around to the rear of the Gorilla Compound.

Whump! Ewar tripped and landed flat on his beak! He shot back up and spun around. Sticking out of the ground was a gnarled tree root.

Ewar carefully stepped away from the tree root and started forward again.

Thump! He tripped again! He looked back and couldn't believe his eyes. A new root had sprung up in the middle of the path.

I don't know what's going on, but now I'm getting angry.

Ewar stood up and marched back to the front of the village.

Something grabbed me when I flew.Something tripped me when I walked. So now I'm going to run in, grab Gorzan's branch, and run back out. Nothing's going to stop me!

Ewar charged. But before he could even cross the border, tiny, stinging pebbles began pelting him from every side! He had to slow down to cover his eyes. The next thing he knew, a vine wrapped around his waist.

Sploosh! A second burst of freezing water splashed on his head.

"What in Chima is going on?" Ewar cried.

Then, as suddenly as it had started, it stopped. The pebbles dropped.

The vine loosened. And slowly, Ewar was lowered to the ground.

The Eagle took a deep breath and opened his eyes. Gorzan was standing over him, smiling.

"See?" said Gorzan. "We have all the protection we need."

"But I don't understand," Ewar sputtered. "You were all fast asleep. Who was attacking me?"

"It wasn't us, brother," Gorzan explained. "It was nature. We take care of the plants, and they take care of us. The lasso vine kept you from flying in. The bucket flower gave you a bath, the split-second roots tripped you, and the archer plant hit you with its seeds."

Ewar shook his head in amazement. "I wouldn't have believed it, but I'm convinced. You're right... you don't need any more protection. I don't even think a Wolf Pack could get in here. The next time I want to prove someone wrong, I think I'll sneak into someplace safer... like maybe a Crocodile's mouth!"

Gorzan and Ewar both laughed.

[tagged-jimmy-switch-writes]

The Bebop Crew, a Splatoon fanfic or something...

So I've had this idea and these characters kicking around since Splatoon 2, and i finally did something with them. YAY!

Just a little slice-of-life joint about a squad of Octolings. I don't know how much of this I will write but I have a chapter or so worth and I wanted to share it with my Sploon friends and anyone else who wants to read it.

Anyway...

Session One: Jupiter Jazz

The Bluefin Depot looked as stunning as ever today. The sight of the place almost brought a tear to Jazzmine's eyes. It had been closed for conservation efforts for ages, as the Bluefin Bay had been so littered and trashed for so long. The folks over the Bay had finally deemed it clean enough to reopen, enacting strict rules to keep it from falling into disrepair again.

Jazzmine Spiegel stood at the back of the spawn pool. She had never played with these three Inklings before, but that was the way of the Turf War. Your best friend could be your sworn enemy three minutes from now, and strangers could be fierce comrades in arms. Jazz spun her Neo Sploosh-o-Matic around one finger, waiting for the whistle to begin the match.

The whistle finally came, and the four players split from the spawn. Jazzmine made her way up the left side, covering the turf with fuchsia ink. Jazz found the fuchsia and lime palette boring. She preferred purple and orange. Other than super special Splatfest colors, those two were her favorite.

She hopped down to Shthe second layer of the stage. The spawn points rested at the top layer, outside the opposing team's reach. Once she came to the small pool of water at the center of the stage, she scoped out the surrounding area. There were splotches of lime ink around but most of the other team had missed the area.

The stage received an update during the Bay's cleanup initiative. Inkable walls appeared at the farthest edge of the stage where Jazz remembered grates. She could slip up that wall and be well into enemy territory, instead of trying and failing to throw a Squid Beakon across the water. She laughed as the memories rushed to her mind, spraying ink on the wall and dipping into swimming form.

It was harder to see while swimming, as her eyes rested on her back. Inklings and Octolings changed to their Cephalo form when swimming through their ink, returning to their common 'Kid' form to run. There was also a Ghost form taken after being splatted. Jazz had theories about it, but nobody was truly certain. Some things about Turf War weren't meant to be understood... such as spawn camping with Chargers STILL being legal.

Jazz spotted an enemy and put her Charger thoughts away. Her Special meter was full so she fired her Tenta Missiles. After briefly locking on several enemy targets, she fired her projectiles. The Special Power Up chunks in her shirt powered her missiles up. She'd spotted three targets on her map, making about twelve shots. The octoling she'd spotted swam into her missile by mistake, instantly getting splatted. Jazz cackled as she watched the girl's 'ghost' fly toward the enemy spawn.

The other two came out of hiding to avoid the ink missiles and regrouped on the right corner of the Depot. Jazz gave chase, meeting a teammate on the way. She and the squid with the Tenta Camo Brella covered the foe's lime ink with fuchsia. Sqiud laid down Ink Mines periodically along the way. The octoling, whom Jazz had splatted, fired her Clash Blaster at them, but Squid Girl spread her Brella to shield. The enemy's blaster ran out of ink, giving Jazz time to splat her.

She moved to fire on her enemy's approaching teammate, but the front of her weapon fell off at her feet! She panicked and continued firing, splatting her foe at the last second. She grabbed the missing piece of her Sploosh and tried to reattach it, being splatted by a stray Tenta Missile. The whistle blew as she flew back to the spawn in her Ghost form.

Jazz's team won by a sizeable margin. Jazz didn't stick around for a photo with her team. She scooped up the pieces of her busted weapon and ran for the train. She tapped at her phone the whole ride home, trying to contact Eddie and ask them to fix her Sploosh before Splatfest that weekend.

\/\/\/\/\/

Eddie Ein stared intently at their computer screen, waiting for Chess's next move. Playing board games over Splatnet was their favorite pastime; chess and Shogi were their favorite games. This game had lasted for days, as Eddie's games usually did. Chess the sea snail was Edd's only equal. They pondered what Chess would do next, thinking through the knocks at the door that grew louder over time.

"One-one, I know you can hear me!" Called a voice that sounded like Jazz. Edd ignored the girl at their door and typed a message into their Splatnet chat. "ONE-ONE PLEASE!"

"Edward is very busy right now. Please hang up, and call back later!" The small octoling with the bright orange tentacles finally replied. Chess still hadn't moved, so whatever Jazzmine needed would have to wait.

"Eddie, I know your game is important, but I need you to fix my Sweetheart before Splatfest this weekend!" Jazz pleaded.

"Leave your Sploosh at the door and it will be repaired in due time..." Eddie told their teammate through the door. A small flap in the door swung open, and Jazz deposited her weapon into Edd's apartment.

"How's the new song coming, by the way?" Jazz asked when she poked her head through the door, taking care not to get her spiky tentacles stuck. Eddie sighed loudly from their computer screen.

"It's been at a standstill because it's missing something... The track is open on my music software, laughing in my face. YES! CHESS HAS FINALLY MADE A MOVE!" They eagerly clicked back to their chess game, swiftly analyzing and plotting their next move. After taking it, they looked at Jazz. "Would you listen to my song and perhaps play guitar for me?" They asked, their bright orange eyes meeting Jazz's soft purples. The taller octoling grinned with intrigue.

"I don't see why not. Wouldn't Jet or Vivi play better than me?" Jazz could feel Edd rolling their eyes at that.

"Jet is grinding his life away in preparation for Splatfest, and I do not wish to deal with the attitude of Vivian Valentine. Let alone his floppy fretwork, which has no place in my music. It must be you, my wonderful Jupiter Jazz." Jazz chuckled and blushed at their friend's words. Edd was eccentric and sometimes tough to understand, but they were always honest.

"Could I come to listen now, or would you prefer later?"

"The lab is in shambles due to this chess game. Your weapon repairs should be finished by tonight, so could you come by tomorrow? Ooh, and bring Crusty Seanwiches, please!" Edd's face brightened at the thought of their favorite sloppy sandwich. Jazz nodded and grinned, twirling her bright pink tentacles.

"I'll be there! You're the best, One-One!" Jazz cheered as the door flap closed.

"This is true..." Edd bragged. Chess's next move trapped Edd's king, much to their chagrin. They typed 'GG' into the chat and closed the Splatnet window. They grabbed the pieces of Jazz's Neo Sploosh-o-Matic and got to work. They couldn't wait for Jazz to hear their amazing new song.

\/\/\/\/\/

The Piranha Pit was drenched in dark blue ink, which was how Jet always left it. He'd played several matches today, but the Pit was closing soon. He fist-bumped his teammates one final time as he looked down at his stage map. He took a screenshot for his records. Now he would Super Jump to the nearest eats.

"Midnight Black! You're still kicking around in Turf War?" Jet heard from behind him, spoken by a voice he'd sooner not hear. He turned around to see his squad mate's brother Vivian. How could Vio be remotely related to someone so insufferable? Oh well, it wasn't her fault her brother was a traitor.

"Vicious!" Jet hissed at the boy with the long white tentacles. The ocotling sneered at Jet. Jet loved pushing this terrible boy's buttons, especially when Vivi tried so hard to push Jet's.

"I'm not a part of your silly squad anymore. Call me Vivi like everyone else." Vivi rolled his eyes as he replied. It was all Jet could do not to laugh in his face. Jet pulled his tentacles out of their tight braids, letting them take their usual afro shape.

"Well, Vivi, I am still part of the Bebop Crew. So call me Jet or don't bother calling me." Jet fired back, his hands gripping his Dualies tightly. Crow and Raven had seen him through many matches. He loved the Dark Tetras with all his heart.

"Well, Jet, I'd say it was nice to see you, but I wouldn't want to lie to your face." Vivi cackled as he turned to leave.

"Wait. I want to hear it from the seahorse's mouth. Did you really give up Turf War? Or did you leave the Bebop Crew to chase some squid girl?" That stopped Vivi in his tracks. Jet thought his face would get stuck in that sneer. His eyes narrowed as he looked back at Jet.

"Who told you about her? My nosy kid sister, I'm sure!" Vivi spat. A smirk came across Jet's face at the other boy's anger.

"Wow, you really are a totally different person. Vicious would never miss an opportunity to brag about his new squeeze!" Jet laughed. Vivi rolled his eyes so hard Jet thought they might fall off.

"I don't see how that's any of your business. Does the Bebop Crew truly miss me that much?" Vivi spat back. Jet could feel the venom in his former cohort's words, but it only made him laugh harder. He turned away from Vivi, leaving him to seethe.

"I'd say it was good to see you, Vi, but I wouldn't want to lie to your face." Jet grinned at his parting shot, knowing it would eat Vivi up. Vivi twirled one of his long white tentacles.

"See you around, Jet Black. The displeasure is all mine." Vivian shot back before turning to run over to his friends.

"I assure you, Vivian Valentine, it is not." Jet popped off as Vivi joined his posse of inklings. Sure enough, Orange Range was among them. Jet would recognize that braid anywhere. He dismissed all thoughts of Vicious and his new squad, checking his phone to see where the Tidal Tacos truck was parked today. Ooh, nice and close! He dipped into a puddle of ink and shot off in a glorious Super Jump. Time for tacos!

\/\/\/\/\/

Jazz had an hour or so of free time before band practice so she would watch a match. Her sister's shift at the Arowana Mall's food court should be over by the time she arrived. She caught up with Saturn and the two bought food from a different spot in the mall. They could see the stage area of the mall decently from their table, and the business had a screen to watch on in case they couldn't see.

This match was Orange vs. Purple. Jazz felt a hint of jealousy seeing her favorite palette. She looked closer at the players on the screen and realized her best friend Vincent was on the Orange team. "Rings, lookit! Volaju is playing!" She told Saturn, who nodded in between bites of her burger. Seaside Snackages made the best burgers in Inkopolis, according to Rings and Jazz.

Jet sometimes protested, but he didn't like burgers that much anyhow. His heart was with Tidal Tacos forever and always. They did make banging tacos, but Jazz could never find the truck during business hours.

The whistle blew to start the match. Jazz paid close attention to the Orange team for the first part of the match, but a player on Purple's team distracted her before long. This pompadour player was using a Stringer weapon. Jazz had heard of these but had never seen one in action. This beast fired three rounds of ink at a time. Jazz saw a shot fall short of hitting Vinny, but he got splatted moments after as the rounds exploded!

Jazz knew immediately that she had to meet this bow slinger! She watched as they threw a Toxic Mist bomb at another foe, trapping them in a purple cloud so their Special could splat them. The pompadour octoling unleashed the Killer Wail 5.1, a set of smaller but more concentrated sound attacks than the old-school Wail Jazzmine remembered. This octoling must be from the Splatlands since the hot new weapons usually arrived there first.

The match ended soon, and the purple team devastated the orange team. Poor Volaju and his cohorts never stood a chance. Jazz and Rings caught up with him for a moment as the teams shook hands after the match. Jazz saw the pompadour again and yelled out to them. "Sorry, I didn't catch your name on the screen. I hope it isn't rude, but I absolutely need to see that main weapon you're using."

"Not at all. She's pretty, isn't she?" Pompadour cheered. Jazz tried not to blush at the word 'pretty' since this octoling and their weapon both fit that description. "This here's a Tri-Stringer! Stringers are all the rage in the Splatlands!"

"So the exploding rounds are a charged shot? Incredible! One-One would flip out over this thing!" Jazz fawned over the weapon. Pompadour's ears perked up at that.

"You know One-One? I use the Splash Cannon they invented sometimes too!" The purple octoling replied with a quizzical look. Jazz nodded.

"We're in the same squad. They usually test their prototype weapons on all of us..." Jazz twisted one of her tentacles as the awful memory of the first Cannon test rushed to her mind. The Pompadour in front of her twitched and raised an eyebrow suddenly. "Something wrong?"

"You're with the Bebop Crew? They're, like, my favorite squad ever!" Seemed it was their turn to fawn. Jazz chuckled loudly, as she usually did when she met a fan. It always surprised her that anyone knew her squad without facing them in a match.

"Yeah! I founded the squad. Well, Jet and I." She mentioned. Pomp gasped again.

"YOU'RE JUPITER JAZZ? Can I have your autograph?!" They squeaked excitedly and felt around in their pockets. "Oof, I don't have anything you can sign..."

"And I don't have a pen. You know, the Crew has been short a member since Vivi left. I think you'd make a great fit! What was your name by the way?" Jazz asked. The purple one tripped over their words nervously for a moment. "Wow, I didn't think the Crew was famous..."

"You guys are all anyone talks about in the Splatlands! You're as famous as the Fabulous Killjoys are in Inkopolis Plaza!"

"I don't know about all that..." Jazz blushed ten shades of pink. Her face matched her tentacles. Her sister Rings laughed at her. "

But yeah, my name is Mulberri Stardust, and I would love to join the Bebop Crew!” Purple finally answered, a huge grin across their face. Jazz blushed even harder at their pretty smile. She pushed Rings toward Volaju, sensing she was about to make a comment that might embarrass Jazz.

“You’d have to meet the rest of the squad, and One-One might want to test your skills, but I’ll put in a good word for you!” Jazz cheered. A squid girl approached Mulberri and hugged and kissed them as Mulberri told them about Jazz’s offer. Whoa, their girlfriend was cute, too! Jazz tried not to blush any more than she already had.

“Neat! I’m Scatta! If they join your squad, you’ll see me a lot!” The squid girl mentioned. Jazz smiled as they parted ways. Jazz and Rings caught the same train, but Jazz got off sooner to make it to band practice.

\/\/\/\/\/

Band practice had gone quite well, as per usual. For a band with eight members, practice meetups were surprisingly frequent. Sometimes they were missing a horn or some keys, but only because half of them had other music projects or jobs. Jazz played bass in the band, be it a bass guitar or a double bass. Her lobster girlfriend Sandy Claws played the drums. Krillin Clubs the shrimp played keyboards.

Krillin had brought half the band with him after his last band fell out. Dizzy Diamonds the smooth sax inkling had joined with him, as did Spiny Spades the urchin on trombone, and Hammar Hearts the singing shark.

Mars Volta was their new guitarist, a fiercely talented starfish girl. She had wiped the floor with Vivi when he challenged her to a music battle and joined the band when he decided to leave. She brought Farrah Legator with her, an alligator who played a killer trumpet. The eight of them formed Asteroid Bluefin and played jazz that was anything but smooth, inspired by the soundtrack to Jazz’s favorite show.

Singing about space and bounty hunters always made for a fun practice and a wonderful concert. Jazz couldn’t wait until their next gig, though they didn’t know when that might be. They’d almost gotten onto the lineup for Splatfest this weekend, but something fell through and another band got the spot. Jazz was still bummed out about it, but there was always next Splatfest.

Sandy reached her claws around Jazz’s waist and gave her a big hug and a kiss on the shoulder. “Babe, you’re the best band leader I’ve ever had...” The lobster girl complimented. Jazz blushed bright pink at that. She had heard plenty of horror stories about the last band Sandy was in, though they weren’t much of a band. More like a singer with enough ego for a whole orchestra and the only musicians who would put up with him.

“You’re an amazing drummer, my love. It’s not your fault your old band’s singer only wanted to hear his own voice and didn’t let you play the way you like. His loss.” Jazz replied, stealing herself a kiss on Sandy’s lips. Sandy hid her face for a second as she blushed a dark blue.

“So there might be a new member in the Bebop soon? I hope they’re as cute as you said they are.” Sandy laughed. It was Jazz’s turn to blush again. “Just don’t go kissing them without me.”

“They have a girlfriend so I’m sure there won’t be any kissing unless they both want to kiss me. And I would never kiss them without you!” Jazz chuckled back. The two girls laughed and blushed for a moment more.

“I wouldn’t kiss anyone without you either, love... except Marina. I would keep her all to myself.” Sandy giggled. Jazz pouted at the idea, but she understood. Sandy had loved Marina for ages before she’d met Jazz.

“That’s fair. But hey, maybe Mulberri and Scatta will kiss both of us...” Jazz joked. Sandy laughed again at the silly idea.

“What a life that would be!” Sandy cheered as she kissed Jazz again. The two of them snuggled up together to watch a movie, but they didn’t pay much attention since they were cuddling.

\/\/\/\/\/

Mulberri stood in the center of the local training room. Edd had rented the place out to test Berri’s skills with the Splash Cannon, the weapon Edd had designed themself. The cannon was a modified Rapid Blaster with maxed-out stats. It took 300 points to charge the special since its range, damage, and fire rate were so high. It could fire three or four rounds before needing to refill ink, but a skilled blaster could cover plenty of turf with that.

One-One had created quite an obstacle course for them today. The level design was their strong suit, and they were even in the process of designing an official stage. Maybe this test would be a prototype of that. Berri was ready for anything.

The whistle that began the test finally came, and Berri came out swinging. Some Squid Balloons came at them, and they took all three of the dummies down with a well-placed blast. They climbed up a wall in Cephalo form and looked around. They blasted another dummy before dipping down into their purple ink to refill. They swam down off the wall and ran across an Ink Mine, performing a Squid Jump to evade the explosion.

More dummies popped up in front of them, and Berri splatted them with cannon fire. Their special was ready to activate, so they charged up their Booyah Bomb and threw it into the mob of dummies across the stage, splatting all of them as the whistle blew a second time.

The entire practice area was covered in purple ink, and Mulberri wore a huge grin across their face. Suddenly Jet’s face appeared on a screen. He had his tentacles in tight braids instead of the usual afro. He wore a black tuxedo. Jazz rolled her eyes at his theatrics.

“So, Jazz has recommended you, and One-One has tested you. Since you have passed, the last thing is a little questionnaire. Question One: what is your favorite stage?”

“Well, I love the Piranha Pit and Crableg Capitol, but my absolute fave is Humpback Pump Track. I detest Shellendorf Institute with all of its ceiling snipers, but it can be a fun stage sometimes.” Berri answered honestly. They hated camping chargers as much as anyone else did, and the Institute seemed to be designed for them.

“Interesting. Next question: Have you ever heard of the one called Vivian Valentine?” Jazz chuckled at Jet’s question.

“Now, Jet, that wasn’t on the last test!” She joked. Jet shot her a look through the screen.

“Mind your business, ma'am. Now, Mulberri?” Jet snapped back, turning back to Berri.

“I have had the misfortune of being in the same room with him, thanks to Orange Range. It was not an experience I would plan on reliving.” Berri answered again, trying not to roll their eyes at the thought of Vivi. They were happy Scatta wasn't friends with Range anymore.

“Third question: What handle would you use with the Crew?”

“Mercury Stardust. Anything but ‘Kuwabara the Ma’am’ since I chose that name in what feels like another life.” They sighed but put those thoughts away to focus on the questions.

“Final question: What is your favorite thing about Turf War?” Jet asked. Berri had to think for a moment.

“Honestly, what is there not to love? For three minutes all the worries of life fade away. It’s you and your three teammates against the world, and then a flash of pretty colors and it’s onto the next match. It’s pure adrenaline and it’s my favorite thing to do!” Berri answered the final question. They could see Jet thinking. He seemed to be dragging out the silence for dramatic effect, but they weren’t certain. The skill test was one thing, but Berri was never great at talking so they weren’t sure about this questionnaire.

“Well, Mercury Stardust, pack your grip and join my ship, the Bebop!” Jet finally answered. The rest of the crew cheered for Mercury as they realized they had passed all the tests. They all went to Tidal Tacos to eat after Berri’s tests. “They have the best eats in town, undisputedly!” Jet bragged about his favorite taco truck. Berri was ecstatic to be a member of the Bebop Crew.

\/\/\/\/\/ \/\/\/\/\/ \/\/\/\/\/

So yeah, that's what I have so far, as well as a couple scenes for later parts. Or other parts, since I'm not really sure if this will have much of a direction. I know like two things I want to happen by the end, but who knows?

[mysteryshoptls]

SR Sebek Zigvolt Apple Boa Personal Story: Part 1

"Child's play"

Part 1 (Part 2)

[Harveston – Outside Assembly Hall]

Sebek: Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!

Sebek: RIGHT! PUSH-UPS COMPLETED!

Sebek: I wonder what sort of training I should do next. I've finished stretches, running, and squats already...

Sebek: I know, I'll draw water from the well!

Sebek: I'll turn the handle and pull the filled water bucket up…

[splish splash] …

Sebek: ONCE THE WATER IS DRAWN, I RETURN IT TO THE WELL!

[SPLOOSH]!!!

Idia: U-Uh… Sebek-shi, it's still really early in the morning… Could you be a bit quieter?

Sebek: Early in the morning? It's already past 6 o'clock. How about you go wash your face, eat breakfast, and take a walk?

Sebek: Or, if you prefer, would you like to do some training with me, Idia-senpai?

Idia: training? me? you can't be serious lol.

Idia: specially for a night owl like me, i should still be sound asleep at 6am! don't wake me up with your noises!

Sebek: Pathetic! You may be a Dorm Leader, but you are a far cry from Malleus-sama.

Marja: Good morning, Sebek-san and Idia-san.

Sebek: Morning, Marja. If you're searching for Epel, he's cleaning the assembly room.

Marja: Why, thank you for telling me. But I haven't come in search of Epel.

Marja: I came to split wood for the fireplace. It's going to be quite chilly today.

Idia: eh? chopping firewood at this time of day…? what energy…

Marja: It's fine, don't worry. I use a log splitter so it isn't that difficult. Even thick stumps can easily be broken down with this.

Sebek: Humph, so you have to rely on the use of a machine to chop wood… This is why humans are so soft!

Idia: huh? what's so wrong with using machines? don't you understand what "efficiency" is?

Sebek: The only thing you can rely on at any given moment is your own body. What will you do if the machine breaks down?

Idia: all you gotta do is repair it～ there's no machine that i can't fix up, so.

Marja: I place the firewood here and turn on the engine… Oh?

Marja: It's not responding at all. Maybe it broke?

Marja: What a predicament. Even if I order a new machine, it'll take about half a month to arrive…

Sebek: It seems it broke, just as I said. Hey, human, why don't you fix it for her?

Idia: Eh…? How annoying… I wanted to go back to sleep…

Sebek: Hm, I see. You stated earlier that there is "no machine you can't fix up", but it sounds as though it were only a boast.

Idia: haah? a boast?? a machine of this caliber would be so easy to repair that it's almost too boring to even think about, don't you know???

Idia: marja-shi, let me borrow your wood splitter. i'll show this fool who only sees value in brute strength a thing or two!

Sebek: Humph. Then, while Idia-senpai is repairing it, I'll chop your wood for you.

Marja: Oh my, will you really? That would be a big help.

Sebek: I don't mind at all. Wood chopping can help in increasing muscle strength and core training. I would do it often back home.

Sebek: I was wondering what I could do here anyway, since there is no training equipment around. This is perfect.

[chop! chop! chop!]

Sebek: Whew… That's all of the wood here done and split.

Marja: Such a surprise… You prepared for me a month's worth of firewood in no time! That was much faster than using the log splitter!

Sebek: This level of work is nowhere near enough exercise for me. Don't you have any more firewood I can chop up for you?

Marja: Hmm, let's see. You've already split all the logs we have for the assembly room… Maybe I can ask you to chop wood at my home as well?

Sebek: No problem at all. We'll head to your home right away!

[Harveston – Epel's Home]

[chop! chop! chop!]

Marja: You're a lifesaver, Sebek-san. Aah, thank you, thank you.

Sebek: No trouble at all. This is just child's play.

Villager A: 'Scuse me～

Sebek: Mm? What? A villager just came over from a nearby home…

Villager A: Can'ya cut sum wood'p fer me too?

Villager A: Ah'm allus choppin' 'em up, but it's pre'y 'ard. Yer a youngin', can'tcher help me?

Sebek: Humph, Harveston is filled with so many weak humans.

Sebek: ALRIGHT, TAKE ME THERE!

Part 1 (Part 2)

Requested by @xerneasx95.

[crowdedimagines]

Worse Days - Aaron Hotchner

The faint dripping of water pulls me back to reality. The same sploosh happening over and over. Minute after minute. I pull my eyes open blinking, forcing them to focus. The swaying back and forth, left to right, doesn’t help ease the dizziness I feel.

“Looks like your girl is finally up.”

I look around, searching for the source of the voice.

“Wake up, sunshine!” He finally sits in front of me, taking my head in his hand. His fingers are coarse and strong. He forces me to look him in the eyes, his grip tight on my cheeks. He tilts my head to the tripod over his shoulder. The red light on the camera blinks back at me.

“Smile for the camera.”

This is not at all how today was supposed to go…

Twenty-Two Hours Ago.

“Alright, we’re looking at four women, murdered and found on the beach in Miami. All from different classes and backgrounds, but similar age groups” JJ hands us each our files.

“He takes them for three days, before brutally dismembering them. The morning of the fourth day, the woman is always found.”

“He takes risks. Each of these women were taken from high traffic areas.” I comment.

“There’s more.” Garcia suddenly takes over.

“He also sends a live feed to the family of the victim.” She reluctantly pulls it up on the TV, a live feed of the women pleading for their lives. Saying their goodbyes.

“He’s definitely a sexual sadist. He finds pleasure in knowing that families are watching their loved ones last moments.” I clear my throat, pulling my eyes away from the screen.

“That’s what he gets off on.” Derek agrees. “He likes knowing that there’s people in distress on the other end of the camera.”

“Wheels up in thirty.” Hotchner simply says before excusing us all.

As soon as we land we start the process to find the unsub. It begins with all of us splitting up and going to the scenes where the bodies were found. All of them were ditched on the beach, early morning before anyone was out.

We get nothing from the populated beaches other than sand in our shoes.

We sit down and look at the profile and determine the man is bold and try to analyze the footage we have from the previous victims. Penelope is trying to find any identifying marks from the videos to see where they come from. Based on the way he treats the bodies, we’ve determined he’s likely a white male in his early thirties. 

“It looks like they’re on a boat.” I say, we’ve been watching the videos on an endless loop. Trying to catch any new details. 

“The camera is steady.” Morgan argues, looking at the TV now too.

“But look at her hair, it’s moving when she’s not. It’s like the rocking of a boat.”

“It’s possible considering he’s ditching them on the beach.” Reid comments. 

“That’s why no one sees him dragging a body all across the beach. He already had them on a boat.” Ross puzzles together. 

“The most recent body was found this morning, that means he’s going to take his next victim tonight.” Morgan says.

“We should visit where each of the women were taken. Try and get an understanding of how he was able to do so in such populated areas.” Hoctchner announces, “Prentiss and Morgan, go to the grocery store where Hannah Lane was taken, Y/n and Spencer, go to the parking garage where Amy Bryant was abducted and Rossi and I will go to the last two locations.”

We all nod and go off in our separate directions. Spencer and I get in the car and drive to the parking garage where Amy was taken. We drive around until we reach the second level and get out.

“Even for a parking garage, it’s bold. It’s packed with cars on this level. Anyone could show up at any time.” I look around.

“You’re right, they could.” A voice calls out behind me before everything goes dark.

Present time.

“Morgan, you owe me twenty bucks. I told you it was a boat.” I stretch out my neck that has a kink from hanging loosely while sitting up in the chair for so long. It feels heavy, like I’ve been in this position a long time.

The man in front of me rolls his eyes, huffing loudly.

“You picked the wrong girl if you were counting on me melting like puddy in your hands. You forget that I know exactly what you want. You want the tears and the begging.”

“Trust me. You’ll get to that point.” He smirks. “They all do.”

He leaves the room, loudly pulling the door shut behind him as he goes.

“I promise, it’s not as bad as it looks.” I plead with the camera, knowing that my team is on the other side of it. I can only imagine what they’re all feeling. We’ve had close calls with team members, it’s not any easier to be in their position right now. You feel helpless. 

“Definitely on a boat, but I think we’re just at a marina or a pier. I can hear seagulls, we aren’t rocking that much.”

I lean forward as best as I can while still being tied to a chair. There’s a small window along the ceiling allowing me to see blue skies.

“It might be a ship. I’m above sea level, I can see the sky.” I try to give the team as much information as I can possibly gather. Anything could help.

“Sorry that’s about all I have right now to help.” I look around the bare room for any other details that could help, “I think I have a concussion, and maybe a cracked rib. I can’t take a deep breath.”

Suddenly the man comes back in, just as quickly as he left, he takes the camera in his hands.

“That’s all of your Y/n time today. You should get to trying to find me, because I am going to have a lot of fun in the meantime.”

Back with the team at the Miami police department...

The feed cuts out leaving the team in silence and shock.

“There’s nothing we could’ve done. We couldn’t have known-”

“We could have waited.

Spencer looks down at the ice pack in his lap. As if the guilt wasn’t eating away at him enough before. He also received a concussion. Only he woke up on the ground, relatively nothing compared to the person he was sent out with.

“There was no way for us to know that the unsub was going to come back to visit the last scene of the crime.” Emily defends. She can see the pure anger in Aaron’s eyes. Completely unwavering, and only focused on getting Y/n back to the team.

“But that’s the thing. He wouldn’t, that’s not in his MO. He moves on to his next target. Once he kills these women he feels nothing, it’s all in the buildup, he feels nothing at the scene of the crime.” Rossi says, thinking out loud.

“Y/n helped JJ talk to the press. The unsub could have seen her then. It’s likely that he would follow the case, especially once it was announced that the FBI had joined the case.” Spencer rapidly explains.

“She’s the right age, she fits his type.” Rossi nods.

“So, he sees her as more of a challenge. He’s escalated. He knows that she is a higher risk person to take.” Emily comments. 

“Y/n, said she’s on a boat.” Morgan says, bringing up the clue that Y/n gave them before the feed cut out. 

“We’re in southern Florida, there’s thousands of boats within just a hundred miles of us.” JJ sighs, looking around to the group around her.

“Four thousand, seven hundred and fifty-two within 75 miles of here.” Spencer pipes up.

Hotchner cuts him a look. Still trying to find anyone to blame, but himself. He’s the one who sent her in to that parking garage. 

“Garcia, can you locate her based on the feed the unsub has sent us?” Aaron asks, looking at the plain black screen, hoping to see it come back on so he can see the girl behind the camera. 

“No sir, he’s using a different routing server, just like he did with all of his previous victims.”

“Y/n is not a victim.”

---

It takes some time while the team continues to try and work out locations and who the unsub could even be. He wasn’t afraid to show his face on camera, which makes things a little more difficult. He has no record, making Garcia’s life a little harder. 

The TV in the conference room lets out a crackle before the familiar room comes into their view. Everyone sets down what they had been working on and halts all conversation. It’s been several hours since we’ve seen anything from him. Y/n has been gone for eleven hours at this point.

“Welcome back to the show!” The unsub grins. 

He moves out of the way to finally put Y/n in the frame. She’s hunched over, she doesn’t look as good as she did before. It’s evident that things have changed off camera. 

“His name is Nick.” Y/n mutters, picking up her head as best as she can. “He’s five ten and approximately a hundred ninety pounds.” 

“Don’t you learn to shut up?” Nick pulls back on the hair at the back of her head. In doing so it reveals new bruises that have taken home on her. 

“Baby, we talked about this. No more sharing with them, or else you know what happens.” Nick brushes her hair out of her face now. 

“This is his dads boat.” Y/n looks at the man who has taken her with spite in her eyes. It seems in his hours spent with her, he hasn’t learned that Y/n doesn’t like to be told what to do. And that she’s tougher than she looks. 

He lands a sharp fist into the side of her head and takes a step back. He lets himself take a deep breath, trying to gain control. He doesn’t want to kill her yet, that would be over too soon. Now he can step closer again, he lets one hand wrap around her throat, halting any oxygen of reaching her lungs.

He waits for Y/n to start to struggle in her chair before he lets up. 

“You just don’t like to learn, that’s okay. I’ll fix you.” Nick takes her hand, which is still tied to the arms of the chair she’s sat in. He pulls her pointer finger with care, before sharply pushing it straight up, breaking it. 

“Garcia-” Y/n picks up her head struggling to fight against his hands, she’s coughing now still trying to gain her breath back, “You don’t need to see this. Please. Turn it off.”

“Of course, Y/n is the one being tortured and she’s worried about other people.” Morgan turns away, himself unable to watch this continue. Listening to Y/n’s screams and shouts are going to be enough to stick with him. Rossi forces himself to watch the girl he’s grown so close to since joining the team, brutally tortured in front of him. 

Everyone on this team has love for this girl. She’s managed to worm her way into everyone’s life in some way or another. Y/n always knows exactly what each person needs, and she meets it. She holds the team together when they’re all falling apart. If anything were to happen to her, it would destroy them all. 

Especially Aaron. As reluctant as he would be to admit it, this girl has wormed her way into his heart. Different to everyone else on the team, though. He saw her beauty and kindness. It was hard to him to imagine a woman ever entering his life like Haley did, but Y/n did it with such grace, and without even trying. Y/n helped him out with Jack when he needed it, and made them meals when Aaron just needed to catch a break. She didn’t even need a thank you, it was just part of her.

Without even trying, Y/n became his person and all he can think now is that he never got the chance to tell her, never even got the chance to thank her, and that he won’t let happen.  He wants to see Y/n’s face in person, not bruised and bloody through the screen on the wall. He needs to get out to save her.

“Garcia, does that help you narrow your search.” Hotchner asks their tech who is still on speaker. 

“We’ve got twenty-two Nicks with boats in the Miami area.” She explains. 

“What about Nicks who have wealthy fathers? Or boats that weren’t originally in their name.” Spencer asks. 

“That leaves me with one. Nick Hoffman.” Garcia cheers, “Sunset Harbour on 1928 Sunset Harbour Drive” 

The team takes off without a second thought, quickly trying to save their girl. They manage to get there in record time and find the boat with success. Y/n was right, it’s more like a ship with its size. 

“Morgan, Rossi, work your way around the main levels and then below. Emily and I will lead the upper level.” 

The team takes off to clear the boat. It took a few empty rooms until Emily finally opens the door to where they are. Nick holds a knife to Y/n’s throat. He’s essentially using her as a shield, ducking behind her. 

“If you take one more step in here, I will slit her throat.” Nick shouts. 

“We don’t want that to happen.” Emily negotiates, Hotch finally stepping into the room. 

“Hey! I told you guys not to move!” He presses the blade down tight against Y/n’s neck while she lets out a shudder. 

“Let her go.” Hotch declares. 

“I want a deal.” Nick grovels. 

“Men like you don’t get deals.” Emily says, her eyes trained on him and all of his movements. 

“Not even for your precious Y/n’s life?” He grins, looking down at the girl below him now. 

“Go to hell.” She mutters as best she can., 

“Maybe killing you would be worth it.” He smirks, “Then we could go out together.” 

“I’ve got better plans.” Y/n throws her head back into Nick’s disorienting him enough that Hotch has a clear shot, and he takes it. Nick’s body falls and Emily kicks his knife out of reach.

“Get me out of this chair.” Y/n shakes, squirming to get out of the spot she’s been constrained to. “Get me out of here, please.” 

Hotch and Emily both holster their weapons and rush to help her. They quickly untie her and when her legs fail her, Hotch scoops her up. He quickly walks her down the stairs and doesn’t stop once he reaches the dock, he takes her all the way up to the ambulance. 

Without hesitation, Hotch gets in with her. There isn’t anything that could keep him from leaving her now. 

“Wow, that was a dramatic ending, huh?” Y/n grins. 

“You can’t seriously be cracking jokes about this now.” He sighs. 

“I mean come on, aren’t you going to even ask how I figured out his name was Nick? I figured it out when he ow-” 

Y/n cuts herself off when the paramedic starts feeling her ribs to see which are cracked and if any are broken.

“Y/n, we can talk about this later.” Aaron smiles. 

“Am I hallucinating? Is it the lack of oxygen, because you’re smiling.” Y/n comments, finally turning to look at her boss who has a smile that she knows he saves for Jack. 

“You’re back. That’s reason to smile.” 

They make it to the hospital to find out that Y/n has a concussion, one broken rib and three cracked ribs, and one broken finger. Not to mention the trauma to the trachea. 

“The gangs all here.” Y/n smiles, noticing Garcia has flown down to join the group. Everyone has been gathered in the room since everything settled down, “What are you doing here?” 

“Y/n, you were kidnapped.” Garcia states, still in shock, “You could’ve died.” 

Tears fill Penelope’s eyes and Y/n opens her arms from her hospital bed for a hug, which she easily accepts. 

“Ehh, I knew you guys would find me.” Y/n grins. “I’m fine Pen, I’m getting discharged in the morning and we can all go home.” 

“Yes, speaking of, we should all get some rest. Especially Y/n.”

Slowly, the rest of the team clears out, giving hugs on their way. 

“Not taking your own orders?” Y/n asks, noticing her boss making himself comfortable on the small couch in her hospital room. 

“I don’t think I could leave if I tried.” Aaron admits. 

“And why’s that?” Y/n asks, carefully turning to lay on her side to face him. 

“Because I love you.” He confesses, “I have for a while now, and it’s alright if you don’t feel the same, or if my position with this team makes you uncomfortable. I just don’t think I can go any longer without you at least knowing.”

“You love me?” Y/n asks, her voice cracking. Aaron finally has the courage to look over and she has tears in her eyes. 

“Yes.” He clears his throat, “The way you have become a part of my life, and Jack’s for that matter. You bring so much light with you everywhere you go, even after a day like you’ve had today. You manage to still be the brightest person I have ever met.”

“Please don’t make me get out of bed to kiss you, because I think I would crack another rib.” Y/n sighs. 

Hotch lets out a soft chuckle before getting up from his spot. 

“Only if you promise to go to bed after this, you need rest.” 

“Promise.” 

He leans down to connect their lips, it’s soft. Y/n can tell that he’s being gentle with her. She reaches up a hand to thread them through Aaron’s short hair, using it to her advantage to hold him there and pull him a little closer. They pull away eventually, Y/n stealing one more peck before fully letting go of him.

“Ok, maybe I’ve had worse days.” 

---

AHHHHHH my first time writing for criminal minds! i hope you guys liked it! 🥺

[dandi-8nd]

The Mundane

(short, TW guns and minor blood sploosh Death)

PREVIOUS PART👇

“Okay see that guy comin’ up pushing the cart with the yellow acid drums? Jump in that gap and ride it to the tanks on the far end of the room. You’ll be able to hide behind them, but I can’t cover for you like this, they’d definitely be able to find you.”

“Are you sure?” Dandy was a little weary of Kane’s advice. Even though they established a small amount of trust and acquaintanceship she still got feelings of uncertainty and flashbacks to when they tricked her into being trapped in the vents.

“Yea, it’s in a really closed off area, and they don’t like being around the vat anyways cause it freaks em out, they only put us workin’ here cause its not white collar enough for Sligs and they wanna desensitize us. So trust me when I say they don’t want anything to do with that gross vat”

“Yea but I’d have to be near it...”

“Well it’s the price you're gonna have to pay for safety Dandy, sorry!”

“They're only trying to find me because they caught me getting that med kit for you….”

“What? Really?! Shit, now I really owe you one for this.”

“…”

“Dandy?”

Kane gently shook Dandy. He tried to make eye contact with her, but she was staring at the floor trying to decide whether or not she would be able to take his advice at face value. She decided that if what he said was correct and he was actually looking out for her, that she would decide to trust him from now on. But was it worth the risk?

“Come on now. The cart is headed this is way, it’s your only shot!”

Kane pushes Dandy into the cart. She stumbles and hits her head on one of the drums.

“Yikes...” Whispered Kane. Dandy poked her head out of the cart looking back at Kane as she rolled away. He waved at her with a guilty grimmace on his face mouthing ‘SORRY’ ”

Dandy rolled her eyes, but accepted her circumstances. The bumps and turbulence of the wheels rolling against the textured laboratory floors stopped suddenly. The steel drum once casting a shadow was lifted, making Dandy feel like a roach exposed to light as she crawled underneath the cart to avoid being seen. 

“Wait what did he say? The tanks?...okay so I’m on the far end but-”

Suddenly the cart begins to take a sharp left. Dandy frantically looks around and notices a long line of tanks stacked on top of one another leading to the 2 massive body vats. One of the workers feeds a tube into the steel drum and pulls a switch connected to the wall. The tube emits a harsh vaccuming noise as it sucks the green corrosive liquid out of the tanks. A small amount sprays slightly out of a crack in the tube and lands on the worker in charge of the Acid refills.

“Sheeesh that stings what the hell!”

They frantically try to shake it off as it eats through the top layer of skin on their hand and eats away at the fabric of their jumper. A small bit lands on Dandy, burning a little hole in her sleeve. She realized that she needed to get out of there as soon as possible and, running on all fours, headed towards the tank stack and squeezed herself between the tanks at the far end of the room leaning against the wall. She let out a sigh of relief and looked out to the rest of the lab from her hiding spot.

The two sligs split up and scoped out the area looking each mud in the face, examining their hands and pushing them around with their gun barrels like they were mere objects. The morale became uncomfortable and uneasy.

“Lynn, this place is giving me the heebie jeebies, is that creepy crawly mud head here or not?!”

“Sir, one correlation I’ve noticed between my encounters in the clinic and that of what the west guards at the sleeping quarters said last night was that this thing likes dark places! The vat room is the darkest place at Claviers during the day time!”

“Okay well then why aren’t there any Mudokons crawilng up on the walls? huh Lynn?!”

“They wouldn’t be in plain sight…they’d be in the shadows! Check in the darkest corners, like those tanks near the vat!”

The two look towards the read where Dandy is hiding and look back at each other. Nezkar straightens his barret and takes on a determined posture

"Okay you may have a point there...I'll go check. The tanks, you check behind the ph dials!"

"Yes sir!"

"Oh, and Lynn?"

"Sir."

"The only reason I'll believe you this time is because you've got the testimony of the south and west night guard officers on your side, So don’t get all cocky now.”

“Absolutely sir...”

Nezkar cocks his rifle and slowly walks towards the tanks. Dandy stops breathing. She ducks herself down and tries to not be too visible. Everything suddenly goes silent. When Dandy decides to look up to see if he’s still there. It's almost like her soul leaves her body when she suddenly was eye to eye with Nezkar; his rifle aimed right at her head.

-

Beck had just finished loading and stacking the last of the bone crates. He nailed the last box closed, but the sound of the hammer was painful to hear. He winced after each hit but had no choice but to hammer faster to get it over with.

On another day he would have felt accomplished to finish all his work early, but every breeze that touched his skin made him feel uncomfortable. The chatter of the other crate loaders to him were like nails on a chalk board. He even became overwhelmed by his own skin and had an urge to rip it off. Every particle that touched him he felt. It was like he was covered in insects.

Every part of him wanted to walk up to that group in the distance and set them on fire.

Beck clenched every muscle in his body whilst taking a big breath and then released. It soothed his irritable feelings but not enough to make up for his dependency on substances to make it through the day.

He walked up to them wearing the widest and fakest smile on his face that he could muster.

How've you been! Haven’t seen you around lately! Let me bum a few cigs off you pal!”

“A few? You've got some audacity!”

“Or just one! Heh...sorry, your man’s been dopesick due to some unfortunate circumstances”

“Oh yea! Frank lost last night! to that new guy Nipples or whatever. That's too bad you ain’t get your zaw! Better luck next time am I right?”

“Yep...”

The mudokon throws Beck a cigarette and Beck pulls out a match and lights it up himself. Beck joins the group on the bench.

“I thought Kane was gonna fight Frank...what happened?”

“Oh it's a long story, Kane is in no position to fight for a little while anyways since he got capped in the hip last night...”

“You’re kidding! Is that what those gunshots were about?!”

“Yea, it was my fault though, I was pullin aggro with some freak that was pushing my buttons and a slig enforcer saw. Kane was caught in the crossfire...literally”

“Damn, that’s crazy, I feel like I’ve never seen you that chapped, but then again you’re probably having the worst comedown in oddworld right now.”

“Yea, now I just gotta focus on getting back in with the fights, that’s why I haven’t stolen that zaw dust from Snips, if I can get him on my team we can earn way more stuff than that through bets alone.”

“What about kane? He survive the weeding or what?”

“Yea, it's crazy. This little kid from the new shipment snuck into the clinic and got him a med kit. If it wasn’t for that rascal he’d be in the vat by now for sure!”

“You two always somehow get lucky”

“Yep, I’m right about ready to get lucky again. See you ‘round!”

Beck gets up, completely inhaling all that was left of his cigarette and leaving an shy husk of the former stick with the butt still in tact. He flings it to the ground and walks away.

“Hey...what the fuck??? Where’s my darts???”

They pat themselves down looking for their box of cigarettes that was suddenly missing and the group get up to scour the area.

Once Beck is in a blind spot he pulls out the stolen pack and lights himself another cigarette

-

Snips was hauling Acid Drums like the day before. He was starting to get used to the routine and at first found the mindless back and fourth labor rather mind numbing in a good way. He had quite a bit on his mind and it was a good distraction. But that feeling slowly faded away more and more with each interruption.

"HEY ITS NIPPLES! YOOOO! YOU'RE CRAZY MY GUY! IM BETTING ON YOU NEXT TIME!

“Ayoo strippy! you fucking savage! Way to go! you almost got Frank weeded today!”

“STIPPLE THE GIANT!! YOU MENACE! YOU FUCKING MAD MAN!!

Passer-by easily were able to recognize Snips from the fight the night before and a few would throw a remark here and there. It never failed to irritate Snips from not only the unwanted attention, but also the constant mispronunciation of his name. Over time as more workers passed by, the calling was more and more frequent until he finally couldn’t take it anymore.

“SKIPS YOU’RE CRAZY MAN!!”

As Snips was walking back empty handed to get his next Acid drum, he grabbed the one that the worker next to him was holding

“IT’S SNIPS. AND IF I HEAR ANYONE ELSE SHOUTING SOME WEIRD ASS VARIATION OF NIPPLE, SKIP. STIP OR WHATEVER; YOU’RE GOING TO GET WEEDED BY ME PERSONALLY. NOW FUCKING STOP THAT SHIT”

Snips threw the drum at the passing mudokons. A loud bang echoed throughout the cargo offloading area. The impact of Snips throwing the Acid Drum caused a thin crack to bust open, spraying acid out towards them and burning a few. Every worker both inside and outside of the Cargo area stopped what they were doing. The chirping and chatter went completely mute and everyone looked towards the overseeing slig guards. There were about 7 in the area, a few being woken from their sleep from the loud noise. They all looked at each other and then back at Snips. One piped up.

“Damagin’ Claviers company property is punishable by death”

Snips didn’t react, he didn’t even look at the sligs. He was unafraid, and unbothered by the threat. He looked up at the sky, observing the insects and birds flying past him. He reached out and caught a bug in his hand and pressed it in between his fingers, just enough to hold it still but not enough to kill it.

“So is mispronouncing my name.”

A few Workers gasped at his audacity to talk back to a slig. The murmurs and chatter began to grow again. The slig looked to his comrades and they all nodded.

“Alright” Said another slig “We’ll let this one pass...since you’re proving to be a rather useful Cog”

Snips apathetically shrugged, letting the insect in his lands fly away, he was about to continue with his duties when suddenly a slig shot their rifle in Snips direction, zooming past him so close that he could hear the bullet breaking the air next to his ear. Snips turned around to see one of the outside workers calling out to him fall to the pavement. His chest spewing like a faucet. The Mudokon instantly lost consciousness and died on the spot. his eyes still open and filled with fear. Snips was atonished at what had just happened but had no expression on his face. He looked back at the Sligs in charge.

“Someone’s gotta attone for this little incident. You should have just offed them yourself instead anyways instead of making a scene; makes our job easier since we have a death quota.”

A pool of blood began to grow from the fresh corpse it expanded across the ground and began to overlap the puddle of acid causing it to sizzle and foam up. The chemical reaction left an ominous smoke-like vapor into the air looking almost like a soul leaving it’s vessel.

“Well? Anyone gonna clean this shit up or do I gotta kill another one of ya’s and make this mess even bigger!”

Without missing a beat old fart came through with a bucket and rag and went right to cleaning. The disposition of the collective workers became instantly woeful and depressed. Everyone stepped away and carried on with their duties. Snips stood there looking at the ground before shaking off his brief disassociation, deciding to get back to work as well. He walked past old fart.

“If I knew they’d pull some shit like that I wouldn’t have-”

“Save it stripper nipples!”

“...Hm..”

“His name is Lerry by the way”

“Huh?”

“The guy ya got killed. His name is Lerry. Knew him since he was ehhh 14? 15? You know,”

“Oh..he liked watchin’ fight nights?”

“Yea, ever since he was a teen he’d love watching the fights. I took him to his first one and he was hooked ever since. I think watchin it was like an escape for him. He never participated though, but he always wanted to. He’d practice every single day during his break. I kept tellin’ him to just go through with his first fight, that the next day might be his last but he never listened. Always said he wanted to win his first fight and how he didn’t wanna mess up in front of everybody. He was gonna turn 30 next week I believe.”

Snips knelt down and grabbed a rag from Old Fart’s bucket and helped him clean up the mess.

“Old fart is it? What’s your real name?”

“I honestly forgot”

“But you remember the name of this guy?”

“I remember all 94 of  their names, a fraction of them are alive now and it honestly kills me. I'm not gonna pretend like I don't care either cause I do. I may be old but I'm manly enough to not give a fuck what you think of me.”

Snips said nothing, but he did feel remorseful for what happened. He now realized how detrimental it was to make such a scene like that. His actions would have a bigger impact on others than himself if the sligs were deciding to keep him alive like that.

Old fart was about to speak before he inhaled some of the blood vapor 

“ *COUGH cough* Listen I know what you went through with Rosco was hard. These boys are like sons to me; Even if they hate my guts and want me dead. I wake up every day knowing one of ‘em is probably gonna die and the inevitability of that is something I'm never gonna be numb to. I’m always gonna be left to pick up the pieces here.”

“...” Snips began to scrub faster. Even scrubbing at sports that we’re already seemingly clean.

“I also know that Dandy is like your Rosco now. And don’t lie to me like thats not it er whatever the shmucks here like to front. You can’t deceive this old man, especially when you went out of your way to save me like that on your second day here without even knowing me like that. You got a good heart. My question to you is what you’re gonna do when the little scrounger eventually kicks it back and dies. Can you handle going through that all over again? ”

Snips wanted more than anything to get up and walk away from the conversation but something was compelling him to stay.

“You've got it all wrong old man.. I lost everything....Hell, I stay losing everything even now. Nothing can replace my wife and kids, nothing. And nobody can ever replace my son. Not even Dandy. Even if that wasn’t the case, I wouldn’t dare try if it meant I was gonna go through that shit all over again. Dandy, She’s not gonna die I’ll make her stronger. I’ll only look after her until she can take care of herself which I know won’t be too long. Then I’m letting her go; I can’t put myself through that again. I'm not getting attached.”

“Really now? I hate to burst ya bubble snip snap, but ehhh...almost all my boys here are dead. And yea, I guess you can count Beck and Kane as the longest living survivors here besides myself, but that's cause they were strong, they had what it takes. Dandy’s not only a little girl but she's pretty small for her age and I'm assumin’ she's 11 or older cause that's the minimum age to get landed here. She’s thin, weak, I mean-” 

“Nobody saw what I saw. She’s got what it takes, if not more than that. If she wasn’t able to climb herself out of that vent I honestly would have let her rot in there forever. It would have been a far more merciful fate than if I had helped her out of there myself. If she can break out of a locked cell and steal fucking medical supplies to treat someone’s bullet wound and save them from gettin’ weeded, she’s not gonna die.”

Old fart let out a chuckle

"Well Nipple Stripper, if you think she's gonna live then I'll believe you...for now."

The two were able to clean up most of the mess together in a fairly short ammount of time. Snips stops and turns to old fart. He was going to correct him about his name but decided not to.

"I guess I'll weed him, since I'm the one who got him killed"

"Sounds good then" said old fart. They both get up and old fart places his hand on Snip's shoulder, this time Snips didn't shrug him off. "When the work day is over, I need ya to come see somethin with me. It's important, trust me."

"Uh...okay"

Snips grabs Lerry's limp body, rather than throwing him over his shoulders like he did for the others, he lifted and held the corpse in his arms in a more respectful manner and made his way to the body processing warehouse. He thought about the conversation he just had with old fart and whether it was worth it to keep looking after Dandy. He was turning a corner when suddenly he ran into Beck sitting on the floor leaning against a wall. He was holding his head in his hands with a cigarette in his mouth.

"Fuck stop spinning world!"

"What???"

"Everything is like spinning if I shift my eyes to fast and once it starts I can’t stop it. I have to close my eyes."

"You got a headache?"

"AND?"

"Sounds like a migraine. It's also not my problem I guess"

Beck opens his eyes slightly and sees a peak of snips before closing his eyes again.

"Oh fuck it's you!"

"Mhm."

"Listen man, I just wanted to know...what you thought about the fight last night. Do you think you should have won more? Cause I think you should've."

"Do most of the people here fall for that?"

"Oh ALL THE TIME, but it works better if I make eye contact which I can't do right now. Bur my question still stands. I mean, I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you; that was the mist entertaining fight night I've seen in YEARS. Warrants way more than a blanket and some narcotics"

"Okay."

"Do you agree or not??"

"I have to carry this body to the cadaver processing warehouse and you're enduring a migraine and knowing whether I believe I deserve a bigger reward for beating someone half to death is your main priority right now? And you're sitting here telling me EVERYONE falls for this??"

"Exactly except there's nothing to fall for and I'm prepping your ass for a win win scenario so would you just roll with it?"

"You want to collaborate with me on rigging bets"

"YES"

"Okay. I trust you."

"Welp I tried…WAIT- SHIT! Really!?!? You're down, guy? You trust me!?"

"If you ever betrayed me I'd just break your spine in half."

"Heh you're kidding"

Snips said nothing and kept walking

"You're kidding right?"

"How's Frank?"

"His spine concaved I heard"

"That's a shame.”

"Uh....right...Hey meet me at the same spot as yesterday during break!"

"Sure, let Frank know I'd be more than happy to put his spine back in place. Now if you'll excuse me..."

[bular]

Welcome to Live Commentary

I had no one to talk to while watching the movie and I hate being alone with my thoughts so I wrote everything down in my notes app. It's not coherent! Enjoy!

Aw yeah 1.5 seconds of Bular that is all I needed! Might as well stop now I've seen my boy I'm satisfied.

Why is there a nearly 4 minute recap as if I haven't watched the show at least 50 times. I should be the one giving the recap.

The beginning felt a bit forced to me but maybe that's just me? Like they just tried to squeeze too many things into a small timeframe without any buildup, it just didn't really work. Congrats on the engagement! This is my OTP so I'm very happy! But it came out of nowhere.

Nari in Douxies body is so wrong and I love it and hate it at the same time (positive)

Eli is BIG. I knew he was gonna be tall but I was not prepared for that chiseled face. Or the fact that he stepped off the ship without glasses? I wear glasses and I would not choose to step off a spaceship blind.

OkAY who had mpreg on their bingo card?

AAARRRGGHH actually said a full sentence 🥺 there is no heterosexual explanation for this scene and I'm here for it

Arcadia being the center of the universe really does make a lot of sense. I hate how much sense it makes. Despise it.

Strickler in a Christmas sweater is something i didn't know I needed. Jim's jacket too but that's just adorable, Jim's adorable. Oh sweet baby you're about to get fucked over so bad.

Love seeing Barbara actively participating in battle too. Good for her! Power family!!

Where are the kids tho? Is NotEnrique babysitting? Either that or they hired the girl from the Incredibles movie.

Nomura is so talented I love seeing her fighting on the good side. I can't explain it but I love digitigrade legs they're just so pretty?? Aesthetically pleasing??? Fuck yeah, legg! I could watch Nomura run around and be badass all day.

WAIT NO OH SHIT HOW DARE YOU FUCK

STRICKLER DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE NOT YOU TOO THAT'S TOO FUCKING RUDE DON'T DO THIS TO ME

THERE'S NO WAY HE'S DEAD RIGHT WE SAW NO BODY

Barbara does not deserve this I refuse to accept it. He's fine he'll be back they wouldn't kill two Changelings at once. Also Nomura is with Draal now I take no criticism.

So my favorite characters were Bular, Draal, Gunmar and Angor. And before this movie I always half-joked that everyone I love dies, how I still like Strickler and Nomura but apart from them all of my faves were killed in the very order of favoritism. AND NOW LOOK AT THIS. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I LOVE A CHARACTER. MY LOVE IS TOXIC.

OKAY I LOVE GUN RO- WAIT NO I DON'T LOVE HIM FUCK ABORT ABORT

It's great tho omg

I didn't realize it was Gun Robot when I saw it in the trailer this is amazing

Okay but imagine you're chilling in your trollmarket minding your own business when some misfit group of strangers waltzes in, steals your favorite shiny and celebrates your death before running off

"I AM GUN ROBOT" IS THE HORN LMAOOO

Nana better show up at some point to reunite with her boytoy, I'll cancel this entire franchise otherwise

Something bad is going to happen to Toby isn't it. He's getting too much screentime

Jim's hand got DEEP FRIED

ARCHIE NO

We can play Scrabble okay if they don't free them (which they must) I want an after credits scene of them playing scrabble

Douxie and Nari's bond 🥺🥺🥺

Nari pls just say what you fuckin mean the world is ending

Oh god is she going to remember killing Nomura oh nooo

Claire don't make the portal you will die again. Your hair gon be white all over

EVERYONE AVOIDING THE SCHOOL JUST RIGHT THERE LMAO RIP

I love how Darci is just with the school bus. Civilian girlfriend. But also love how the world is ending and Coach is like "fuck that I'm gonna teach these kids"

Does he know his son is pregnant

"Going back to the city where it's safe" buddy have you been to that city

Whatever happens, Nari has the coolest looking titan. Giant four legged gremlin. I'd adopt him.

WAIT SHE CAN FEEL THE PAIN?

Me: oh i love that titan

The titan 5 seconds later:

Did Nari just fucking die what the FUCK

Oh of COURSE the pages are stuck together RIGHT THERE

Seriously tho how do you not notice an entire nougat nummy in a book

Wait so Arcadia has another heartstone? Or OH SO IT'S ALIVE. OKAY GREAT. GUNMAR COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT RIGHT HUH

Love how the Heartstone has been dormant/dead for months and apparently heard Blinky say it's alive and decided to wake up RIGHT THEN

Finally they're evacuating the city. This is like, the third apocalypse there. About time.

Okay so you can't pull Excalibur from the rock, but you CAN carve out the stone. Couldn't you just carve it off the sword as close as possible and like. Use that? Just swing the whole damn rock around?

God i can NOT get over Steve's pants. I mean I read a spoiler he was gonna be pregnant but I thought it was a prank or shitpost. I did not see this coming and I am never going to be over it. I love how he and Aja just roll with it and nobody else even cares. They've seen weirder stuff. So he's pregnant now. Whatever.

Jim's hand is bandaged and his ribs still hurt. I love that they're actually consistent with his injuries. I mean sucks for him but hell yeah for hero that doesn't always win!

Okayyy here comes the heartstone. Why not!

IS HE IN LABOR

So if you kiss an Akiridion 7 times you will have 3-5 babies in a few hours. How are they not overpopulated?? Also Aja couldn't have WARNED STEVE BEFOREHAND?

Eli is so supportive omfg

So uh where are the babies gonna come out of? I'm not into mpreg how does this usually work

OH STEVE THANKS FOR ASKING MY QUESTION

Oh good thing he happens to have 8 friends still alive. Otherwise this would've never worked. Nomura had to die otherwise there would've been 10 of them.

Why is everyone bowing to Jim? Did they rehearse this?

Stuart if you hadn't taken a bathroom break you would've thrown off the math and doomed the world. That was a poop of fate my man

Ahhh the signature quote. Where did Douxie and the Akiridions learn it? Did they rehearse this too? It's really cliché but I do like it tbh

If Strickler were dead we'd see more Barbara right?

WOOO BLINKY DRIVING

Ah Jim just used she/her for Bellroc! Finally we're learning some pronouns. I've been wondering this whole time.

MY VIRGIN EYES. WHAT IS GOING O N

How are they not dying with all this lava?

She really just yeeted Varvatos

Did Claire just tell AAARRRGGHH to jump off the titan and he did it without question

I want to say I like Stuart and want him to have more screentime, but I won't say it because I don't want him to die

Jim's poor ribs

Toby can drive yoooo

Tobyyy you're scaring meeeee

So did they really need the different stone or was the amulet just waiting for Jim to choose death over giving up

I saw the armor before but it looks VERY COOL

Also I didn't mention this before but I love that they cut Merlin's name from the incantation. Good for them.

Toby you lost your helmet noooo

For real tho I'm terrified for Toby rn. I saw a comment somewhere earlier that just said "Toby no" with no context and I am AFRAID

So do Bellroc's eyes work after all? I thought she was blinded back in Wizards in the past.

DID SHE JUST FUCKING STAB MY BOY

TOBY YOU SHOULD NOT BE THERE GET OUT THE TRUCK

Bellroc maybe screaming "i'm powerless" in front of your enemy isn't the best idea

She sploosh

DID JIM SURVIVE THAT FALL AND ALSO IS THE TACO TRUCK OKAY

How is he lifting Claire like that buddy you have bruised ribs and just got stabbed

ELI HI CAN WE SEE THE KIDS

SEVEN KIDS! AND ELI JR I LOVE IT

This show really loves to give people more than the recommended amount of babies with no warning huh

She immediately knows which one is Eli Jr 🥺 okay listen I'm not the biggest fan of comic relief sideplot surprise babies, but I have to admit they're cute. Cute couple. Throuple. Eli is in on this. He even has a Junior.

I TOLD YOU WHERE'S THE DAMN TACO TRUCK NANA WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU AND NEITHER WILL I

Oh yea he better fuckin be alive I will commit murder

HE BETTER FUCKIN BE ALIVE BITCH

FUCK YOU

THAT'S A WHOLE ASS CHILD HE ISN'T ALLOWED TO DIE IT'S ILLEGAL

JIM IS GONNA LOOK DOWN AT THE GREEN GLOWING BITCH AAARRRGGHH CONVENIENTLY THREW THERE AND SEE HIM ALIVE OR SOMETHING

YEAH USE THE SWORD TO UNDEAD HIM! THAT'S HOW YOU USE SWORDS!

Unbecoming Part 2

So is Jim just gonna Groundhog Day it until everyone is fine? There's only 13 minutes left we're gonna need a bigger movie

Also I screamed so much about everyone's death and now everyone reading this after they already saw the whole thing is gonna shame me for clowning huh

The scene where Blinky is giving his goodbye speech, there are no babies and Steve has a round belly? Did he reabsorb them?? I mean I know Jim is about to un-birth them but he hasn't started yet

JUST HOW FAR BACK IS HE PLANNING TO GO

WAIT HOLD UP EXCUSE ME WHAT

Oh they did NOT just do that. I though he was just gonna go back to like, the start of the movie maybe. Not all the way

Imagine being in your early twenties with as much trauma as this kid has and having to pretend you're 16 again

Somewhere Unkar is complaining because "oh sure NOW it's a good idea"

I know Jim is wondering where Toby is because he was there before. But before, he made an entire meatloaf AND did his homework before leaving the house, so honey maybe wait a minute

For a second I thought Toby wasn't gonna be there and Jim would return to the right time. But there he is!

Alright so they're in school now, did they take the canal and just didn't mention the amulet on screen or did they pass it as if the Unbecoming episode hadn't been that traumatizing? Jim you know what happens when you ignore it

Jim maybe you're being too obvious here lmao

Soooo. Anyway. These whole past years I've rewatched this show over and over and over again are cancelled now?

OKAY AT LEAST WE SAW NANA FOR A SPLIT SECOND THAT'S IRONIC TIMING

So we get the quote again. And Trollhunter Tobias is nice. Cool. Cool AU I mean, but I don't know. I don't knowwww. I've been way too invested in everything to just accept that it never happened?? So uh. Hm. How about this.

Strickler survived because fuck you, and Toby also survived and just has scars now. Maybe a wheelchair but he's fine, also he can use the Warhammer for super speed and make it awesome once he's used to it. Archie and Charlie get freed once they rebuild the bridge (and they were playing scrabble to pass the time). Nomura is still dead because she died on screen and I can't really deny that but she's with Draal so it's okay. Everyone is traumatized but they'll be fine. NotEnrique is still babysitting 500 babies and Steve is about to bring 7 more.

In summary, I reject Groundhog Day ending but everything else was great, as long as it actually happened. It was a good movie. But you can't just cancel years of passion. Having the prospect of a million "canon AUs" sounds great for writing but at the same time nooo you can't do that he didn't have to go back THAT far HHHHH

I liked the movie. It was a great watch and a satisfying end to a franchise, but I gotta say I do not fancy the ending of it so I will from now on be in denial. I honestly feel kind of betrayed that this show was my whole life for so long, I learned every smallest fact, and they basically deleted it from existence. I know what they were going for, I think, but no thank you I will be going with my own opinion. Still gonna rewatch it a few dozen times though ✌🏻

And that concludes my live commentary that was supposed to be a small handful of notes. Feel free to shame me for my opinions. See ya!

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

One Thought, Only Video Game. (That still hasn’t announced its early release date plox I just wanna play please :cry:)

I guess while I’m sulking I can continue the reread or something. 

[No. 15 - Vs.]

So we’re back at the yacht with the crew, the boat still being surrounded by villains who have yet to approach. Mineta is freaking out about Izuku’s plan from last chapter to fight the villains in the water, saying that Izuku’s contradicting himself after implying that the villains are strong enough to kill All Might. He then suggests their only hope is to hide until heroes show up to rescue them.

Honestly, I’ve seen a lot of Mineta hate in the fandom, and did participate in it more earlier on. But the more time I actually take a look at his character, the more I realize that he’s actually got some great potential as the straight man / reality ensues to the rest of the cast who play to their shounen setting more faithfully. If you just cut out most of the perversion and worked in more scenes of him commenting on the shounen setting in a semi-meta function (like not outright referencing comics or anything, just the ‘this is crazy!’ from a IRL view on shounen shenanigans), he could have been a lot of fun, maybe even played off of Aoyama or sommat. 

Alas, that is not what we got. But maybe, in the course of this reread, I can pick apart the stuff about Mineta that could make the base for a good character, and maybe I can eventually use those pieces to make a new Mineta, a likeable Mineta. That’d be a crowning point in my career to be sure.

But yeah, like, Mineta kind of has a point here from a non-shounen POV - 'If these guys are strong enough to fight the top hero and possibly kill them, then maybe we shouldn't try fighting them ourselves when we're newbies and just try and keep away until actual trained heroes show up.' Like, their specific situation makes it impossible even without envoking shounen stuff, but, strictly speaking, he’s not wrong here. 

Anyways, Izuku sort of completely glosses over Mineta’s panic, instead turning his attention to the villains and remarking that all of said villains are suited to aquatic combat. Mineta complains about Izuku ignoring him, but Tsuyu catches on to Izuku’s point - the ringleaders must have recruited their team knowing about the USJ’s different environments. Izuku determines that their intel had told them that much, but with how careful all their planning had been, one odd point sticks out - they warped Tsuyu into the flood zone.

There’s a moment of silence between the three before Tsuyu tells Izuku to take his time, and Mineta just demands Izuku’s point. Izuku exhales and apologizes, then clarifies his point - the villains must not know about the class’ quirks! Tsuyu has a moment of surprise as the manga briefly flashes back to Tsuyu’s comment in the classroom about being at home in a flood. Tsuyu concedes his point - if they’d known about her frog powers, they’d have dumped her into the fire zone.

Izuku determines that because the villains didn’t know about their quirks, the strategy to handling them became ‘scatter and overwhelm them with numbers.’ Mineta’s shown sweating in fear as Izuku continues - the villains have the three beat in numbers and experience, so there’s only one way to win - exploit the lack of knowledge about their quirks. He then points out how the villains not trying to get on board supports his theory, while then thinking to himself how that also means that the villains aren’t underestimating them.

Now we get some fun quirk talk! And Mineta being Mineta. Sigh.

Tsuyu’s quirk is pretty versatile! She can jump high, stick to walls, stretch her tongue up to twenty meters (and wield it like a prehensile limb, as we’ve seen already). She can also ‘spit up her stomach to clean it’, which was something debated in the NWA server for a bit before we determined that it meant that she can just throw up on command, not that she actually expels her stomach like a starfish or sommat. Finally, she can secrete a poisonous fluid, though ‘poison’ is a stretch when it really just stings a little.

Mineta gets hung up on the ‘secrete’ part (why), while Tsuyu notes the last two aren’t that useful, so just forget about them. Izuku notes that she’s strong and that he underestimated her. Izuku then explains a bit about his own quirk - mostly just ‘super strength but after I use it it messes me up, basically a double edged sword.’ Which, simple, but to the point.

Mineta silently pulls off one of his hair orb thingies and sticks it to the wall of the yacht, then explains that the balls are really sticky, and that if he’s feeling good, it’ll last all day. New ones grow in where the old ones were on his head, but if he pulls too many, he starts bleeding. They bounce off of his own body without sticking to him.

(I will give him credit here, the wording for his explanation for his quirk is not skeevy as it’s made out to be in the dub. For all we know from this, it could just mean ‘in good health’ or ‘in a generally positive headspace / mood,’ not… other stuff.)

Anyways, after four panels of silence, Mineta freaks out and repeats his statement that they have to wait to be rescued, and that his quirk is terrible for fighting multiple opponents. Izuku tries to calm him down, saying that it’s a great quirk, they just have to think of how to make use of it. 

The yacht gets attacked by one of the villains, water slamming up the middle and basically ripping a massive hole through the middle. The villain states he’s getting bored and ‘let’s finish this thing’, his arms reforming / part of the water. Tsuyu notes the villain is strong, and managed to split the boat in two, all while the three of them try to hold on to each other and keep from sliding down the now angled deck they’re on.

Mineta, in tears, does a but of a battle cry and starts tossing his quirk balls into the water below, all three students and all the villains watching on silently as said balls sploosh in. Mineta freaks out some more as he turns to Izuku and points out how nothing seemed to be accomplished, while Izuku is stressed that Mineta’s panic gave away his quirk to the enemy. Izuku then realizes that no, the villains are on guard now, trying to splash the balls away without touching them. A plan sparks in Izuku’s mind. Down below, that shark villain notes that the kids only have a minute before the boat sinks and they’re all chum.

Again, Mineta proving to be a surprisingly apt straight man to the other two. Why aren’t those two scared? They were just middle school kids not all that long ago, why are they in a life or death situation so soon? (And then he ruins it with being a pervert. Sigh.)

At the same time, Tsuyu kind of has a point as well. They all came to UA to be heroes, and the fact that they signed up for it and got in by fighting robots kind of weights those who get in more towards the side of people who are likely to see trouble and jump in rather than those who run away. So Mineta being entirely cowardly and wanting to run and hide sort of… belies his purpose being in the hero course at all.

And then of course the second half of this page, just as good as the first:

Another moment of Pro Hero Deku, Symbol of Hope shining through early Izuku’s nerves and doubts. You can see the moment Mineta realizes Izuku is just as scared as he is, but is acting in spite of it. Which will in short order inspire Mineta for his part of the plan to make their escape.

Another small thing that I really find interesting from this is the choice of quote Izuku pulls from All Might’s documentary - ‘The moment when the enemy thinks they’ve won represents your best chance.’ This is something that actually comes up several times going forward in the manga - most notably, All Might’s fight with AFO at Kamino, wherein he fakes having nothing left in order to make AFO’s guard drop, then uses all his strength to take AFO out in one shot.

I think, though, that this interview came before All Might’s first fight with AFO, since I doubt he had much time or interest in them after his injury. And in turn, I think this might be a small hint to All Might’s first fight with AFO, even if not intentional - I wouldn’t be surprised if AFO thought All Might was defeated after that blow to his stomach, but All Might managed to surprise him and take him out while he was overconfident in his victory.

Am I reading too much into random little things again? Probably! But it’s fun.

We get a little bit of a view from the villain’s side of things, with one villain commenting on the ‘little one’ whining and how the kids ar a bunch of babies. The villain who took out the boat, who seems to be the leader of their group, I guess? Says Shigaraki said not to get careless - it’s not their age that matters, but their quirks… and clearly the villain’s quirks have the advantage in the water.

And then we get Izuku enacting the plan. What’s the plan, you ask?

Do what Kacchan would do, of course.

One of the villains scoffs and determines Izuku’s just a dumb kid, and that as soon as he lands, they’ll gut him. Izuku, meanwhile, is thinking about how no matter how big a smash he pulls, the villains have them surrounded, so he can’t hit them all. He also determines that even if they make it out of the flood zone, there’s more villains to worry about, so he can’t afford to sacrifice a whole arm. As he starts falling towards the water, he has his fingers prepped with power and ready to flick, frantically muttering to himself to keep the egg from exploding. 

Back on the deck of the ship, Tsuyu is poised to leap, Mineta tucked under her arm. Mineta is internally stressed over how he saw Izuku shaking, he knows Izuku’s as scared as he is, so how??? Meanwhile, Izuku calls out his attack - a Delaware Smash - and, well.

RIP to that glove. And the Flood Zone. And his finger. 

The villains are all blasted away with the water, while Izuku swears over his busted finger before calling out to Tsuyu and Mineta. Tsuyu leaps from the deck, grabbing Izuku around the waist with her tongue as she soars past. We get a rather graphic up close shot of Izuku’s finger, bloodied and bent backwards from where it should be. Very graphic, what the fuck.

Mineta’s reaction to the sight is shock, followed by him shouting again and throwing a ton of his quirk balls into the water, all while thinking about how Izuku is always doing the coolest things. Mineta just keeps tossing them in among the villains as he notes that that’s all he can do in comparison. 

The water starts to get sucked back into the middle by gravity and the vacuum from the blast, dragging the villains and the quirk balls, with the latter sticking to the former, and in turn sticking the villains to each other. The villains freak out that the balls are sticking to them and can’t be removed, and then in being stuck together in one massive blob. 

As the villains are all sucked into the middle, Izuku explains that by delivering a strong shock to the water’s surface, it spread,s and once it rushes back into the center…

Tsuyu’s one-liner count: like ten at this point, IDK I haven’t been counting. She’s just taking every chance she gets and running with it.

And I love Tsuyu’s little ‘good job’ to the other two for their parts in the plan. What a great little moment to end the chapter on. See y’all next time on ‘Shigaraki continues to traumatize school kids.’

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 269: LAID HIM OUT LIKE A BROCHURE

Previously on BnHA: Endeavor, Mic, and Aizawa finally caught up with Crust and Miruko after 19 years to help deal with the High End Noumus. Aizawa used his quirk on them, but Girl Noumu was able to get away and shoot acid at them all, and that one bone-tentacle-y Noumu was also able to attack Mirko with his quirk. Speaking of Mirko, she spent most of the chapter kicking away at Tomura’s Noumutank like those guys with the battering ram in Beauty and the Beast. Or maybe just kicking it one time very, very slowly while we cut back and forth from the scene. It was hard to tell. But either way, she didn’t quite manage to shatter it and instead just left it all cracked and leaking. Anyway so everyone keeps saying that if Tomura escapes that would be Very Bad, and I’m inclined to agree, especially since Aizawa and Mic are looking all serious and vengeful, and I’m really going to need them to not die, ever.

Today on BnHA: Endeavor helpfully and terrifyingly cauterizes Mirko’s wounds while Aizawa holds off the Noumu with his quirk and buys time for Mic to go after Ujiko and Tomura. Mic and our new optician friend Exress race down the corridor and Mic immediately uses his quirk to shatter Noumuraki’s tank, which is the fastest and most efficient action we have seen in this entire arc so far. Mic then CORDIALLY INTRODUCES UJIKO’S FACE TO HIS FIST, which caused me to have an awakening, but unfortunately the same can’t be said for Tomura, who’s now lying on the ground very much not awake and seemingly dead. So I guess that’s it, guys. Looks like Dabi is the main villain now. Good for you Dabi, those are some pretty big britches to fill. No that wasn’t a crack about your height. God you’re sensitive. And so now we get to wait another two weeks! You know what, let’s just focus on the part where Ujiko got flattened like a paper bag.

so this is the chapter that was originally scheduled to be released on Kacchan’s birthday, but what are the odds he’s not even in it. how do you all think the traffic light trio is doing. this has been the world’s longest evacuation. or do you think they already finished a long time ago and are just hanging out now and being all “can’t wait to hear back from everyone else, I’m sure they’re all fine and dandy.” which would be funny, you see, because everyone else actually isn’t fine and dandy at all! do you get it. ahaha jokes

anyway so this chapter is titled “the three of us”, so I’m guessing there’s more Aizawa/Mic/Shirakumo angst on the horizon! so you’re just going to keep on assaulting my battered heart then, Horikoshi. cool. coolcoolcoolcoolcool

HEY NOW

HORIKOSHI WE TALKED ABOUT THIS. I WILL LAUNCH YOU INTO SPACE

fffff -- okay well whatever!! it’s a manga!! she’ll be fine! they have manga science! Recovery Girl can heal her legs and her side and everything else, and get her a nice new robot arm, and she’ll have a cool scar on her ear. happy thoughts happy thoughts

FFDFSF

IS HE TALKING TO ME OR HER. I FEEL LIKE HE’S TALKING TO ME. don’t worry Endeavor I will look away for this part

lol excuse me what now

5 minutes?? by whose reckoning, exactly?? jesus christ. I bet if he turned his flames off we’d learn that he has grown a whole new actual beard. Endeavor. civilizations have risen and fallen. okay you know what, new theory, Ujiko’s basement lair is somehow running on Narnia time

OH MY FEELS HE SAYS HE OWES HER A DEBT AFTER KYUSHU. referring of course to when she showed up out of the blue to save his ass from Dabi. anyways though how nice of him to express his gratitude by setting all of her wounds on fire

I guess we can stand down from red alert now though since Mirko is clearly going to be just fine

somehow she has more calm while getting her horrific injuries cauterized than I do when trying to decide whether or not to sell electronic turnips in a video game

wuh oh

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HE’S A BARREL OF LAUGHS. actually no that’s a lie, you definitely would have had and did have more fun while fighting Mirko

also, this angle of Endeavor’s face, though

AWAKE! AVAST!! HOLD TIGHT YOUR BUNS! IF BUNS YOU DO HOLD DEAR

god damn it as per usual I have no idea what is going on in action panels even when I stare at them intensely for a full minute or more

I don’t even remember how many Noumus are left at this point now. who’s that sunfish-looking one on the right near Mic?? is he a new one?? is that Crust jumping around in the middle, or is he the one standing near the sunfish Noumu? who is it that’s firing that laser or whatnot in the middle?? did this big Noumu in the foreground on the left just get decapitated??

honestly it seems like they almost have things under control at long last. Aizawa and Mic should just head after Ujiko is already and leave the rest of them to it

so Mirko is now giving them all the details about Tomura and how he’s currently chilling out floating in his sensory deprivation tank

and she’s all DON’T LET SHIGARAKI WAKE UP as if she wasn’t the one trying to smash the capsule open in the previous chapter?? or did she assume he would just sleep through all that lol

also the High Ends have apparently still not completely woken up themselves yet. guess we should be grateful

WELL HELLO

if Aizawa Shouta ever cuts his hair I will declare a national day of mourning

anyways though, reinforcements! about fucking time

did anyone else immediately blink right after reading that last sentence, and then feel a profound gratitude for being able to blink freely at will. holy shit. blinking is so great

what happens if he has to sneeze?? oh my god. and what the fuck why is this a one-man show anyway, where the hell is your husband

okay there he is

“I’m here, too,” says Vision Hero: Exress. and so he is. so what kind of quirk do you have, then, x-ray vision? really hope not, no offense. just don’t see how that would exactly be useful right now. or maybe it’s laser vision, in which case yeah okay we can work with that. you heard the man, go on ahead then

this motherfucker is still alive?!

I really cannot express enough just how steep of a cliff Endeavor has fallen off of in this arc. he has not done a single useful thing aside from the cauterizing. so now it’s up to Eyeballs Hero: Sees Real Good to hopefully somehow oneshot this guy whom the number one hero barely managed to scratch

OH MY GOD AN ACTUAL PLOT TWIST

CRUST ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING. took me a minute to realize he was shouting “go” in that speech bubble, as opposed to randomly screeching out his age, 60

Mic and Aizawa are so hot but I’m feeling such impending doom right now

-- oh no. oh fuck. I just realized -- why are they splitting them up?? sir that’s his emotional support hero

ffff for reals though I feel like Mic doesn’t have the same plot protection as Shouta. and I also feel like this is a very stupid decision in general, and that the guy who can cancel out quirks should be included in the group of people rushing in to capture the scary big bad whose quirk is an insta-kill. but what do I know, I’m just a regular person who didn’t go to hero school and get their hero MBA so MAYBE I’M WRONG. but am I

oh shit oh shit oh shit

not really clear on what Mic is doing here since he should in theory just be running like a normal person, but I can’t complain much about the dynamic pose. and meanwhile Ujiko has finally snapped to the fact that he should have woken Tomura up a good half hour ago!

and on top of all that, it sounds like they didn’t destroy all of their supervillain research data either, so if he does manage to escape we could be right back to square one before long. good thing they definitely positively won’t let him escape!!

OH MY GOD THIS SHIT IS FINALLY HAPPENING AHHHHHH

MIC’S VOICE IS SO POWERFUL IT INSTANTLY SHATTERED THE GLASS WHICH EVEN MIRKO’S NOUMU-DECAPITATING RABBIT LEGS COULD NOT BREAK, OH MY BISCUITS, WE STAN AN ICON AND A LEGEND

DID HE MANAGE TO STOP HIM BEFORE HE ACTIVATED THE WAKEUP SEQUENCE OR WHATEVER THE FUCK? IF YES WHAT IS EVEN GOING TO HAPPEN NOW, WILL TOMURA JUST CURL UP IN A LITTLE BALL AND CONTINUE TO SLUMBER PEACEFULLY WITH HIS HAIR ALL WET. HE’LL CATCH A COLD

BUT FOR REAL THOUGH OBVIOUSLY HE IS GOING TO WAKE UP AHHHHHHHH

nghhh everything’s shattering all dramatically and in slow motion

swear to god if this chapter ends with Tomura opening his eyes while we cut to another two week break, I will... ... ...well I guess I’m about to find out though because that’s exactly what’s going to happen isn’t it

(ETA: if you can sleep through Present Mic’s attack you can really sleep through anything huh.)

lol but first

sploosh. down he goes. timber. still a sleepy boi. I take a nap right here

LORD, MIC IS ABOUT TO RIP UJIKO A NEW ONE AND I’VE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE?!

CUE HORIKOSHI CUTTING TO SOME MORE FLASHBACKS OF OBORO TO MAKE US ALL SAD. THAT’S RIGHT, I KNOW ALL OF YOUR TRICKS! BRING IT

1) the fuck is he doing, 2) is this the first time we’ve seen Aizawa call Mic by his name??, and 3) WHAT DID I TELL YOU THOUGH

MY HEART IS A STONE! I FEEL NOTHING! YOU CAN’T HURT ME SO GIVE IT UP. please give it up sob

OH NO

UNDONE BY AIZAWA’S SOFT EXPRESSION AND WISTFUL EYES NOOOO I lied I am not a stone at all I am a big squishy marshmallow of feels oh fuck

OH WOW

DON’T EVER LOOK BACK. ON THE WORLD CLOSING IN!! BE ON THE ATTACK. WITH YOUR WIIIIINGS ON THE WIIIND

he straight up ENDED HIS LIFE. holy shit. 4/24/2020. the day I was sexually attracted to Present Mic

anyways now back to your regularly scheduled sad feelings at the reminder of the fact that yep, Ujiko and all of his fucked up experimenting absolutely did make Aizawa cry. not that I’m saying that’s a crime of even greater magnitude than all his other crimes of kidnapping and torture and research using human children. I absolutely am not saying that. just implying it. in a joking manner. semi-joking. partially. kind of

(ETA: also, belated shout out to the fact that his excuse for doing it was so he could verify that it wasn’t another clone. and since it’s Present Mic, there’s a 74% chance he screamed out “CLONE CHECK!” in English too, which, bless.)

I know there’s a particular side of fandom that largely thinks that all heroes are Garbage Scum, but I mean, look at this scene though of Gazerbeam crouching down to gingerly check Tomura’s vitals. idk, I thought this was surprisingly gentle

I should probably be more concerned about that statement, but truth be told, I’m much more anxious about Gazerbeam going the way of his namesake shortly henceforth. please be careful please I know he looks all floppy and wounded and surprisingly vulnerable --

-- okay, very surprisingly vulnerable --

I really do have a thing for the hair covering the eyes huh. I’m learning things about myself!

but still! he could basically just blink at you at this point and you would turn to dust, Gazerbeam. DUST. ASHES. DEBRIS SCATTERED TO THE WINDS

wow apparently that space tube was doing a lot more than I thought

mhmm. sure. Horikoshi. dude, I can see you sitting there shaking with barely suppressed laughter. did you really think this would get us to let our guards down. are we a joke to you. did you think we would just be all “oh gosh I guess he really is dead then, wow, what a twist”

oh!! the reinforcements!!

did you hear that guys. it’s done. the heroes won and Tomura is dead and it’s really over just like that. what a positive ending for everyone. except Tomura I guess

I’ve said before that U.A. needs to add a course about tempting fate to their curriculum, and I stand by that. this is absurd. it’s like y’all want to die

oh look at that Endeavor finally killed one

was that really so hard. could you not have done that earlier

-- GODDAMN IT ARE YOU REALLY DOING THIS AGAIN

“what if... I dragged it out so much that the dragging-out was the cliffhanger?” that’s some galaxy brain you got there dude. let’s just end the chapter on that WHY NOT

anyway. so there you have it guys. just look how dead he is. that’s the smile of someone who is absolutely, certainly, one hundred percent dead. look at him, all at peace. definitely not gonna finally wake up two weeks from now and properly introduce himself to our new friend Gazerbeam and my new we’re-just-trying-something-out-and-taking-it-slow-and-we’ll-see-where-it-goes boyfriend Present Mic!

lol I can’t lie, these last couple chapters have tested my patience a bit! fortunately this chapter had many saving graces in the form of Mirko, Aizawa, Mic, and for reals though Gazerbeam whom I genuinely did grow attached to almost immediately for reasons beyond my grasping. but I’m starting to get an inkling that Horikoshi is just incapable of pacing himself well whenever the story moves to a basement. or maybe I’m just cranky on account of being holed up in lockdown since time immemorial and only getting my new BnHA fix every other week! maybe, that could be it. maybe. ah well. at least Present Mic punched Ujiko in the fucking face

[keeroo92]

Crimson Tide Ch8

Chapter Eight - Sink or Swim

---Nero---

Nero hated swimming.

Passionately.

He hated how the water flowed against his skin, how even a twitch of his hand would ruin his back float. Hated how his ears popped when he dove, how blind he was during every descent. He hated how his breath ran out in under sixty seconds.

But above all else, he hated when he had to piss.

This is so disgusting…

The water was too murky for any yellow stain to appear, but the warm zone left behind was unavoidable. It reminded him of children in a public pool, relieving themselves as they pleased until you smelled the urine mixing with chlorine. He shuddered in revulsion and did his business quickly, hoping they found a portal before he had to take a shit.

“Right, let’s keep going,” he said. Dante smirked and splashed away, heading toward the horizon where the sun kissed the water. Soon they would run out of daylight and would have to figure out how to rest or search in the dark, but they didn’t have any alternate ideas.

Dante dove first, his body slicing through the waves at a near perfect angle. Nero waited for a count of fifteen before following with a much less elegant sploosh. The foggy water meant he had to guess at where his uncle wound up, but so far they’d been lucky. He searched for any sign of motion, diving deeper until he spotted a flash of something to his left. The young warrior angled his right arm and focused, extending his ethereal blue limb as far as he could until it grasped the familiar leather.

He took hold and shifted, pulling Dante to his side as he propelled himself skyward with his wings. His uncle kicked to assist him, and within seconds their two white heads broke the surface.

“See anything?”

Dante glared at him. “No, but I could’ve stayed down longer. You need to give me more time.”

Nero sighed, rolling his eyes. They had the same argument every few hours and he responded with the same answer he always did.

“Okay, next time I’ll let you drown.”

“What’re you talking about? I’m a fantastic swimmer!” Dante replied, rolling over to display his skill with a clumsy backstroke and consequently sending a wave right at Nero’s grumpy expression.

He didn’t flinch as the water cascaded over his face. What was the point? Only a click of his tongue revealed his fresh annoyance.

“Whatever. Let’s go again.”

“Count to twenty this time, yeah?” Dante called out, already on the move. Nero growled and followed a beat later, his arms aching with fatigue as he forced his body forward.

Dante took a deep breath and vanished into the surf with a cheeky salute. Nero frowned and started the count, ticking off the seconds. The water sparkled in the fading light, and for a moment he imagined he was on the beach of Fortuna, taking the kids for a swim as Kyrie started lunch. His heart ached and he tried to resume his count. That was twenty, right? It wasn’t worth risking. He inhaled and plunged into the surf, wide eyes already scanning the depths.

Dante didn’t get very far on most dives, descending less than one hundred feet to stay within Nero’s range in case something went wrong. It left thousands of feet unexplored, but without diving gear this was the best they could manage. Only twice had he truly needed to help his uncle reach the surface. The first stirrings of worry coiled in his gut as the pressure forced his ears to pop and he still saw no trace of the man. He dove deeper, squinting as panic set in.

Dante was nowhere to be seen. What number was he on? Forty? Forty-five?

Fuck, gotta breathe soon!

Nero released a stream of bubbles as he rose, gently fluttering his wings. His heart pounded erratically and his system flooded with adrenaline as he broke the surface alone.

“Dante!”

He spun, searching the waves for a flash of white. Only the pale greenish-blue hue of the sea greeted him and he cursed. With another deep breath, he forced himself below the water once more. He ignored the insistent pressure squeezing his skull, the ache in his limbs and the exhaustion in his muscles as he descended as far as his body allowed, counting the seconds.

Nothing. forty-three seconds had passed. Could he last to fifty?

No, I need the time to reach the surface. Damnit!

His wings pumped a brutal rhythm and he shot upward, churning the tides in his wake. The dull tightness in his lungs sharpened, his time running out. Fifty-eight seconds gone. His throat spasmed and he coughed, exchanging the last few precious bubbles for water despite his willful refusal to breathe. Sometimes, the body had no choice.

Shit!

He kicked and clawed, desperate to reach the surface as the edges of his vision darkened. Nothing mattered outside his need for air, and he didn’t notice the first stirrings of motion nearby. With a final push, the sweet caress of a breeze touched his cheeks and he gasped, hacking up mouthfuls of water and bile.

I fucking hate swimming.

He shifted to human and laid on his back, staring at the dusky sky as he recovered. There were no stars; the night would be black as pitch. Impossible to navigate. He needed to find Dante, now. Nero sighed and opened his lips to call for his uncle, praying for a response this time. If he was still underwater, it was already too late.

“DANTEEEE!”

Nothing.

Except… was that a roar?

Nero’s brows furrowed in confusion as he shifted to locate the source of the sound. Roars usually didn’t preclude good fortune, especially not in the Underworld. It could only be bad news and he braced himself for disaster.

A lithe shape cut through the waves, heading straight for him. It was massive, at least sixty feet long. Definitely not Dante. He couldn’t see much due to the shitty lighting, only a few shimmering scales and what looked like a yellow fin. Another roar echoed across the sea and he gulped.

Water demon. Great.

He drew Red Queen, gritting his teeth and facing the beast in a fiendish game of chicken. Its beady eyes met his and he shifted, revealing his devil form for a heartbeat. A cheap intimidation tactic, but it dipped to the side, passing by his left with dozens of feet to spare. He was about to call out an insult when the last few inches of its tail crossed his vision and he spotted a flash of crimson leather.

Only Dante…

Without pausing to think, Nero threw out his demonic arm and reeled himself in, hitching a ride on the demon’s tail. If he was wrong, he’d never find Dante now. Not moving at this speed.

“Bout time, kid!”

I’m going to murder him.

He adjusted his grip and peeked over the rubbery spine to find Dante, scarlet jacket flapping in the spray as he held the demon’s fin in a white-knuckled fist. The man had to nerve to smirk as he greeted his nephew. If he didn’t need to hold on with both hands, Nero would’ve punched him. Hard.

“This is Terry! He likes sushi and long walks on the beach!” Dante shouted, struggling to be heard over the rushing wind.

“There aren’t beaches here, dumbass!”

Dante frowned but shook it off with a casual shrug. “Whatever! Keep an eye out for a portal, should be easy to spot in the dark!”

Nero grunted and shoved his irritation away, focusing on the mission. He could deal with Dante later. Preferably on dry land. With a stick. Repeatedly.

He contented himself with imagining various ways of unleashing his annoyance, periodically refreshing his grip or shuffling his feet to gain better traction on the slippery scales. This was the closest thing to rest he’d gotten in days. As the hours passed in a blur of rushing wind Nero struggled to keep his drowsiness under control. He fund himself blinking quickly to focus his vision for another scan of the dark water more often than he liked.

His hands were cramping, his thighs and calves numb from the continuous cold spray. Every nerve felt lethargic and clumsy. It was a miracle he didn’t drop into the waves.

“Oh, SHIT!”

Dante’s shouted curse banished his fatigue, alarm bells ringing at the tone of his uncle’s voice. He didn’t see anything and was about to comment that Dante needed his eyes checked when the beast they rode howled.

And another howl answered it.

---Dante---

Dante gritted his teeth and tightened his grip, bracing for the impending confrontation. He might be wrong, the two demons might not fight, but better safe and embarrassed than dead. The waves rolled over a rounded shape in the distance, rapidly growing larger as it approached. It was pointed straight at their ride, the intention becoming more clear with every passing second.

“Hold on!” Dante cried at full volume.

“No shit, Sherlock!”

Under his thick soles, Terry shuddered as the attacker slammed into his side a few dozen yards ahead of their precarious perch. Blood tainted the salty air as it ripped open the meat of its prey, but their mount wasn’t going down without a fight.

His body curved until Dante spotted his beady eyes glinting in the last rays of sunlight. As the bright orb vanished, the environment faded away and went utterly black. The darkness was so complete it made Dante claustrophobic, a surge of anxiety flooding him at the loss of visual input. All he could do now was hold on tight, listen and pray.

Another howl. Fluids splashing, more blood hitting the water. Growling. Gnashing teeth, only a few feet from his face. Terry’s muscles coiled and extended in turn, a rotation of attack and defense. A slam of flesh. Hissing. Motion sickness – Terry must have lifted his tail.

Hope Nero’s got a good grip…

Gurgling. More splashes, the scent of blood overpowering that of salt. Another slam. Tearing. A squeal of pain.

Come on, Terry! You got this!

Coiled muscles. Tissue splitting. Scales whizzing past his face to hit the bloody waters below. And then, the unmistakable sound of a death rattle as Terry went limp.

Fuck!

Dante didn’t dare to draw breath as the corpse grew still, sinking a few feet into the sea. The attacker keened its triumph and dug in, sickening crunches and slurps rending the air. They needed to move. It would eventually find them if they stayed here, clinging to its dinner like fleas. Dante exhaled, lowering one leg into the water. There was so much blood now, the fluid was warm.

The attacker’s greedy sucking sounds got closer. They were running out of time.

“Let go, quietly,” Dante whispered. Nero grunted his agreement and only the shifting weight of Terry’s remains told Dante when he released his hold. He listened for a reaction, his heartbeat racing through his ears.

The attacker paused; it felt the motion, too.

Double fuck!

The faintest outline of spiked fins and thick plates of toughened skin shifted as it turned toward the source of the disturbance. Dante lowered his second leg, dipping into the heated mix to his thighs. Scales littered the surface, yellow and gray.

Wait. I can see?

Even as he processed the change, the dim illumination strengthened into a buttery glow. The epicenter was over one hundred yards away, partially blocked by the damned attacker, but the shade was unmistakable.

A portal.

All they had to do was reach it.

This is gonna suck.

The beast snarled as the light brightened further and it turned to asses the threat. Dante didn’t hesitate, unclasping both hands as one and dropping into the viscous sea with a soft plop. He took a silent breath and dove, doing his damnedest not to disturb the water as he crossed under Terry’s corpse. He trailed a hand on his slick scales, tracing the curve so he knew when to rise.

Thanks for the ride, pal. Here goes nothing.

He surfaced as slowly as a snail, tilting his head to breathe instead of risking the beast hearing drops fall from his hair. There was Nero, paddling a few yards away with narrowed eyes and a clenched jaw. He floated to the young warrior on his back, almost motionless.

“Portal. See?” he murmured.

Nero nodded, his gaze sharpening with determination. He leaned into a back float of his own and flashed a thumbs up. Time to move.

Dante adjusted his body and fluttered his hands, propelling himself toward Terry’s head. Or what was left of it. Judging from the subdued splashes, Nero was close on his tail as he crossed in front. He gagged on the stench of exposed brain tissue. Why it smelled so much worse than regular dead bodies, he couldn’t imagine.

Moment of truth. Luck be a lady tonight!

He turned his head to the attacker, grimacing as it feasted. There wasn’t much left of Terry at this point, poor fucker. A few lengths of sinew entangled with muscle fiber, a patch of scales here and there. They definitely would’ve shared Terry’s fate if they had stayed put.

The beast paid them no mind as the two men floated on, either not noticing or not caring enough to kill them. Still, Dante didn’t risk speaking until a football field separated them, counting the seconds and keeping his eyes locked on the gargantuan creature. He’d never seen anything like it. Granted, this was his first time in Armisael. He’d have to be a moron to think the same demons resided on a damn water world.

Regardless. They made it. He let out a sigh of relief, judging the distance as safe and opening his lips.

“Ready to dive?”

“Let’s get out of here,” the young warrior replied.

With a final mournful glance at Terry, Dante inhaled and sank into the depths, Nero a beat behind. The yellow glow was glaringly bright, but it did nothing to dispel the murkiness of the water. He struggled to keep himself from comparing it to piss, with little success.

His ears popped and the vice crushing his skull tightened. The portal had to be close.

Otherwise we’re screwed.

His lungs screamed for air, bubbles streaming from his lips as he forced himself to go deeper. Forty seconds. They might be able to make it back up, but not for much longer. Nero wouldn’t, at least. He glanced at the blue outline of his nephew, making a quick rock on hand signal.

Nero vanished as the yellow light flared. The insistent pressure on his cranium eased, and Dante closed his eyes against the blinding glow, knowing he was crossing. He took a tiny sniff to confirm, coughing in relief as he smelled hot mustard and methane. Now for the extra fun part.

Let’s see what the wheel of fortune gives us this time…

His feet flattened, solid ground forming under his expectant soles. He stepped forward until it felt safe to open his eyes and took in his surroundings, waiting for Nero to join him.

Finally, a damn break!

The plane was the perfect temperature, and the air smelled of citrus. Green grass covered a hillside nearby, a pair of trees rising from its crest. Blue skies without a single cloud stretched overhead, tiny winged demons flitting about like songbirds. Dante’s lips spread into a wide grin as Nero’s heavy footsteps joined him, a surprised gasp slipping from his mouth.

“Whoa… are we home?”

“Not even close, Kin of Sparda. Spardakin. Ha ha…”

Dante’s heart leaped in alarm and he spun, drawing Ebony and Ivory and bringing them to bear against the new threat – a hunched figure, misshapen and demonic. Its black lips grinned at him, beady eyes staring down the twin barrels as it chuckled. Its laughter reminded him of dry paper, crackling and spent.

“Give me one reason I shouldn’t kill you,” he commanded. By now Nero had Blue Rose drawn and leveled, an echo of his own posture.

The demon hummed and extended a single, spidery finger to push all three weapons aside. Three simultaneous clicks marked his and Nero’s attempts to fire, and it laughed outright as Dante glared at the water dripping from his gun.

“Ha ha… I knew you’d be such fun. I’m glad the rumors proved true, for once.”

“What the hell are you talking about? What rumors?” Nero exclaimed.

The demon tutted, spinning in a circle and smirking mirthlessly. “Why, the rumors of a new ruler, of course! I live to serve, your majesties.”

It bowed, twirling its hand theatrically. Dante stowed his useless pistols, his apprehension plain as he met Nero’s mystified gaze. He had a sinking feeling this demon was about to redefine the phrase ‘mischievous demonic shenanigans.’    

Fuck.

[optimistic-smiler]

Do it

Okie! I have four Splatoon Ocs who are in a group together! ( Technically five but one doesn't do turf war or ranked battles)

This is Split ( or Switch)! He was the one to make the team and is somewhat of the leader of his group. He mains a Sploosh-o-Matic! They call him Split because he's super sweet when outside of battle but inside he becomes stoic, nothing on his mind but winning. He hates being Splatted and hasn't been since his first battle.

This is Scowl! Their hotheaded never happy Charger bamboozler 14 mk ii main that takes battles very seriously. They call him Scowl because of his face. He tends to soften up a bit around his friends but it's hard to break through that mean facade he has. He watches his teams back in battles. He may or may not like Split a little bit.

This is Flora! She is up close and personal! Wielding Dapple dualies and taking challenges head on. This tends to get her Splatted a bunch in battles but it's all in good fun! They call her Flora because of her hair clip and she has a huge fascination for plants! She is the light of the team and keeps everyone's head high even when loosing.

This is Wave! She is new to turf wars taking her brother's place amongst the team. Split and Flora welcomed her with open arms but Scowl didn't seem impressed. She mains the Bloblobber and is very good with it. She tried being a Charger main like her brother but didn't turn out right for her. They call her Wave because of her wavy hair. She is very shy and tends to mumbled when talking. But she loves her friends and will do her best to help them in battles! Flora helps her practice too!