#sqh: ... fuck

[theballadofmars]

I love how mqf's oficial description is something like: a good heart who wants to help others but then you read the novel and his reaction to lqg trapping ten infected men who are crying in panic is "great now I can start to work in my experiments with decomposed people to find a cure" and gets out a lot of needles, which makes the man cry even harder.

Even if we only get bits of the other Cang Qiong sect leader's we can reach the conclusion that no one there is normal, sqq is just biased.

[benevolenterrancy]

A man needs a hobby while he's waiting for his beloved disciple to return from the dead and torture him!!!

(SQQ is a complete fucking freak and I love him so much)

[whos-the-seme]

okay but I kinda need read a fic where Shen Yuan is wife plotted (AGAIN) by some random papapa plant (dammit Airplane--) and he basically falls into a floating coma or something. on a hunt for some rare herbs with liu qingge, he's lured by the sound of his Binghe's (his lost little lamb) voice and ends up ensnared.

okay, imagine that he's being held high in the air by these vines, just asleep, and nothing can wake him, even after liu qingge cuts the monster plant down to get him. he's just sleeping, rosy-cheeked, unwakeable.

peak lords panic, and start trying to figure it out what this rare plant is. sqh wracks his brain somewhat and somewhat remembers this plot line.

they come to the conclusion that its the everlasting dreams flower or some shit. basically traps the victim in their dreams while it sucks out their qi until the person dies of dehydration/starvation or qi loss, whichever kills them first (sometimes, its not the latter, and if the person is a cultivator, they can last a while before their qi is fully drained enough that they can no longer practice inedia but also haven't died yet). meanwhile, the person won't even care because their dreams are so sweet, that they don't want to leave.

the only way to cure it? true love's song. someone who truly knows and loves the sleeper needs to sing something from the heart, and if it's pure enough or something, it can pierce through the pleasant dreams of the person and wake them up. yqy and lqg instantly become flustered, but both of them can't help but secretly wonder how it would feel to have Xiao jiu/shen-shixiong wake up at their song.

they confer with the rest of the peak lords a little outside of shen yuan's resting rooms on the Qian Cao peak, and yqy decides to sing a little lullaby he used to sing to Xiao jiu when they were still on the streets. he goes in, his voice is a steady but a bit nervous, but he croons that shit out. airplane can't believe his fucking ears. yqy could honestly be an idol its not fair wtf-- only, sqh knows he can't dance to save his fucking life, so.

when yqy finishes, he waits, but his heart sinks when Xiao jiu doesn't so much as stir. he hurries out of the room but sqh notices how the tips of his ears are red in embarrassment. of course, even when he still had his memory, Xiao jiu wanted nothing to do with him, why did he think it would change now, he just--

lqj goes in next. he murmurs a song that he constantly hears sqq sometimes strumming on his guqin, thinking that means sqq must love the song. he's not sure what else he can do, he doesn't know how to sing from the heart, but the feelings he has for his shixiong... he has to at least try to wake him.

he doesn't wake. lqj walks out in defeat.

airplane who has been wracking his brain all this time because he was trying to think of requirements for awakening so he wasn't paying attention suddenly jumps up. he doesn't mind the startled glances that the other peak lords give him.

he just remembered!

the song didn't have to be a romantic song or anything. the love for the sleeper didn't have to be romantic love, at all! he remembered this plot line that he added about binghe trying to wake one of his wives, but it was one of the wives' sisters that woke her, because she truly loved her sister deeply. causing binghe to realize that his love was becoming shallow, in that it wasn't enough anymore or blah blah blah. he scrapped that plot line and that plant after he got a ton of bad reviews for even suggestion that lbh's love (pillar) wasn't big enough and so he had lbh fix it with papapa, but whatever!

he shivered.

anyway, the story has been so warped over time that its only told that it has to be a romantic lover. but it didn't have to be.

he had an idea. he loved Shen Yuan! despite the rocky start, their shared transmigration and experiences led them to form a closer relationship, and Shen Yuan was his best friend. he knew him wholly, both in his bitchiness of Cucumber-bro of their old lives, and in the snarky-masquerading-as-pretentious SQQ he was in their new lives. He knew him as a whole of Shen Yuan, not as Xiao Jiu, or as the original goods.

and also, both he and Shen Yuan had discovered they both liked some similar songs during one of their weekly private meetings a few weeks ago, while Shen Yuan was there under the guise of planning their eventual escapes, but was actually just drinking up all his wine and ransacking his snacks.

he's got this! (he hopes.) (he would quite not like his bro to die from an unwakeable coma.)

confidently, with incredulous stares following him, he walks into the room and sits at shen yuan's bedside. and proceeded to sing, as smoothly as he could, a vocaloid love song. if nothing else, it might shock Shen Yuan awake to hear a random ass vocaloid song in his dreams. the lyrics are actually pretty sweet and soft, but he can't stop imagining the music behind it, making it funnier than it should be to sing it.

[Shen Yuan, whose dreamscape has become completely synchronized to his current living conditions and so he dreams of the serene bamboo hut: *sitting at his table with binghe pouring him more tea* *sudden hatsune fucking miku disturbing the atmosphere*

Shen Yuan: 👁️👄👁️]

while he tries not to giggle as the song comes to an end, the stares of the other peak lords boring into his back from the doorway (he can just hear them thinking, "yqy and lqg couldn't wake him up but you think you can?" but maybe that's just his imagination. or maybe they think the song is shitty, what does he know--), shen yuan's eyes flutter open.

airplane, who didn't think this would actually actually work (though he hoped), gapes at him. Shen Yuan, eyes half lidded from sleep, gazes back.

"uh..."

"The everlasting dreams flower, really? That was a really good plot line, can't believe you, ah," Shen Yuan yawns, "dropped it in favor of more papapa as always, you shitty author." He can't catch a break. Why did he wake this guy up again?

"he's awake!?" multiple voices cry out.

THUMP. yqy has fainted.

they both have forgotten their audience. liu qingge has goes outside to punch a tree. the other peak lords are in various states of disarray, disbelief, and discomfort. liu minyan has appeared out of nowhere to take notes. mu qingfāng rolls his eyes and comes in to check shen-shenanigans's meridians.

"Can't believed that shit worked, honestly," Shen Yuan says, eyeing one of the older disciples try to drag YQY to a cot. he is starting to rouse. "hatsune miku, really?"

"aw! well now you know how deeply and purely I love you, shixiong!"

THUMP. YQY has fainted again.

more sounds of breaking trees from outside. mu qingfāng warily calls out a warning to avoid his good medicinal trees, thanks.

after a while of conversation, with eyes closing a bit once more, from exhaustion, rather than the plant poison, Shen Yuan gives Shang Qinghua a small smile. As his eyes flutter shut again, he says, "I love you too, bro."

[disgracefulthings]

Qi Qingqi: Isn't it weird how nearly everyone we know had awful families

Liu Qingge: That is weird

Yue Qingyuan: And those of us who don't, it's because we have no family to speak of

Shen Qingqiu: It's like we're being tormented by a very lonely god

Shang Qinghua: Well excuse me! Maybe if I was loved as a child then I would probably know how to write about a loving family!!

Peak Lords: ...

Shang Qinghua: ...is what the lonely god must be thinking...

[artsarasp]

[Mission Objective: Run.]

[Prev] [Masterpost]

[cintiri]

I wonder if Shang Qinghua and Mobei-Jun ever have a sense of solidarity as The Ones The Main Characters Delegate Tasks (wife plots) To.

Like, they both get home and flop on the bed and it's like

SQH: How was your day my king? Mine was awful.

SQH: I was at a peak lord meeting and YQY was asking SQQ about some deal with the demon realm for a special artifact SQQ wants. But like it was a very delicate operation and would take a lot of careful maneuvers or maybe a marriage and since the LITERAL DEMON EMPEROR is his husband and HE wants the artifact,

SQH: And SQQ just looked me dead in the eyes and said "Have Shang-Shidi deal with it."

MBJ: Mnn. Junshang showed up on my hunt, told me to get him an artifact.

MBJ: I had to do six trials of power for the six tailed axolotl clan. They tried to get me to marry a princess. I killed her.

SQH: ...Please tell me it wasn't for the Snowfire Opal.

MBJ: ... Then I shall not say.

SQH, who just finished negotiating for said Snowfire Opal: FUCK.

[confuzing]

Something from the Shen Yuan is Mobei Jun's little brother outline:

MBJ's initial meeting with SQH goes down the same until SQH gets MBJ back to the inn- at which point MBJ pulls out a talisman he activates- and a few minutes later Mobei Yuan pops out of a portal and starts fussing over his big bro until he falls asleep.

SQH is freaking out because MBJ called the kid A-Yuan and SQH knows his Mobei clan history (he had like 100 pages of unused backstory) and Mobei Yuan was supposed to die in a political assassination when he was 2, this kid is way older than that! Like... Six or something?

"WTF?" he whispers under his breath.

And then he's getting death glares thrown at him from the Mini Mobei and the kid whispers back. "What the fuck do you mean WTF??"

There's much whisper-screaming about transmigration and who SQH is and then eventually Mobei Yuan smacks him- he's remarkably strong for a little guy.

"Ow bro! Why?"

"That's for never using my brother's actual name anywhere in that fucking book! Do you know how long I spent not sure if the only sibling who's nice to me was Mobei Jun or just canon fodder???"

"Well considering you're like, 5-"

"I'm seven thank you."

MBJ wakes up before they can keep bickering, and SQH decides to just never mention that the System was absolutely going to let him murder MBJ, so which sibling fills the role probably isn't actually that important for plot stuff.

No need to stress little Cucumber Bro out, he's having it rough enough being a kiddo in the Northern Desert Court.

[yhvxn]

Tianlang-jun finds it strange that a servant looks so much like his beloved, a slight interest arises?

I wish I could see more fanfics like this...😭😭😭😭😭

[moo-chemia]

finished rendering this, tbh I’m not really happy with this HAHA anyways cumplane amirite

[deikshen]

Shen Yuan who, on a shitty walk through nature with his brothers, finds a sword. It's like, a black, rusty sword, but Shen Yuan is just like, hey!!! It's a sword!!! He keeps it.

And Shen Yuan accidentally acquires a Xin Mo.

He actually obviously doesn't know it's Xin Mo, at first. It's just a pretty silly sword. Xin Mo, of course, can't feed on spiritual energy and be vicious because, well, there's none of that in this world. However, Xin Mo can intrude into Shen Yuan's dreams.

Shen Yuan randomly dreams about the sword spirit telling him about the things can do. Shen Yuan thinks he won't fall asleep again after reading another PIDW update and ignores it.

Shen Yuan has that sword in his house, perhaps next to a sofa where he spends many hours. And Xin Mo, lacking spiritual energy, begins to feed on emotions. It feeds off of Shen Yuan's wild rage when he critiques novels, his frustration when he loses games, his visceral hate when Airplane screws up an update- from the constant and continuous almost repressed excitement of Shen Yuan.

And if Shen Yuan notices that the sword looks like, restoring itself? Well, it's not really that important, I mean... Of course Shen Yuan is going to ignore that until it bites him in the ass.

And it happens. Xin Mo appears again in his dreams; tells him about other worlds where he can have more power if he wields it, about fruits that he can use to obtain health and immortality... Shen Yuan already knows all that shit, he's up to date with PIDW and Xin Mo is the protagonist's golden finger and a vicious thing addicted to sex and blood.

However, the dream he had is insistent and Shen Yuan wakes up and says, well, fuck it... He takes up the sword -which has no rust at all, and in fact does look a bit like Xin Mo from some fanarts- and concentrates on thinking about PIDW. It's not like the sword is going to open a dimensional portal, true?

TRUE???

There is a dimensional portal open in the middle of his living room. Shen Yuan screams, the portal closes and he runs to hide the sword in the closet.

In his dreams, Xin Mo teases him. Isn't he curious about other worlds? Doesn't he want to see monsters beyond his understanding? Doesn't he want to explore the flora of a mystical world? Shen Yuan is too tempted. In the end, he says, fuck it. Buy xianxia tunics online, other glasses with more acceptable frames for the ancient era, gives in to the fact that he will be seen as an outcast because of his short hair and buys a straw hat with a veil, sends a message to his family group not to bother him because he will watch a marathon of One Piece from start to finish and if anyone comes to visit him he will force them to watch it with him- opens the portal and walks through.

It feels disgusting and horribly dizzy. On the other side, there is a forest.

Xin Mo pushes spiritual energy through him as soon as they arrive in that world. Tells him that he is going to need it.

The forest path leads to a village; there, it is clearly a xianxia environment and Shen Yuan is pleased that his robes fit. He trades some vintage-looking pieces of jewelry he bought secondhand for coins of that world and is ready to stay a few days while he finds some spirit fruits or something.

Xin Mo is still an annoying bitch, but Shen Yuan gets used to it. Get his spiritual fruits, start a book of pressed flowers, spend a week of simple and comfortable life missing the internet and sleeping in uncomfortable beds at inns until the spirit fruits do their work, and Shen Yuan wakes up with a strange feeling in his veins and no need to wear glasses.

Xin Mo uses that to his advantage; the stronger Shen Yuan is, the more can influence in him, and the more can feed with the favorite foods blood and sex. Shen Yuan opens a portal back to his room at the end of the week, he answers some overdue messages to prove that he is still alive, and sleeps for a whole day in his bed.

He buys more xianxia clothes online, takes a risk by getting hair extensions to dispense his straw hat, and decides to go back. Just because he wants to continue upgrading his health a bit more, and well, he can cultivate spiritual energy now, right?

It turns out to be difficult. It's difficult to get cultivation manuals and difficult to get instructions. He barely manages to do so in some awkward ways, but discovers that all the cultivation manuals are clearly in the emperor's libraries.

So, he decides that he will pay tribute to Emperor Luo Binghe. He will offer him precious things and his only condition to continue providing that is… to visit his library.

Precious things, of course, are many things that he knows do not exist in that world. Coffee beans, cocoa beans, chocolate in all its forms. He refuses to allow things like tobacco into the world, but he does allow modern spices, modern recipes!!, even cheap jewelry turns out to be a precious thing because, what the hell, of course the world of PIDW wouldn't have the slightest idea what plastic is.

Shen Yuan introduces himself as a prince-diplomatic envoy from another world. His mission is to obtain certain information from this world... and the gifts are a test of the loyalty of the world from which he comes. Shen Yuan hopes that the demon court will be so enthralled by the foolish things he has brought that they will swallow his tale.

Luo Binghe doesn't seem convinced, but agrees.

So Shen Yuan comes every two-three weeks, covers Xin Mo in talismans to conceal it, transforms it into a pocket dagger, and hides it in the inner pockets of the shorts he wears underneath of the xianxia robes. And he brings a lot of gifts with him. He gets a little silly; he buys old-looking glass jars and fills them with hundreds of packets of instant ramen seasoning, and others with the instant ramen noodles. Explains how they are used and distributes them as gifts around the court. Bring candy without its plastic wrappers, more chocolates, chocolate peanuts, chocolate almonds? Chocolate powder! Powdered sugar! Marzipan! He brings makeup and skincare for the wives, and soon they are all wearing the most beautiful and impossible colors.

His chests are full of food from a distant world, their journeys seem to be long to return each time. Shen Yuan continues to learn; he is always under the distant watchful eye of Luo Binghe, but he does not steal any scrolls. He reads, he studies, he learns. His cultivation really improves, his fragile health does too.

Xin Mo is still that insolent and persistent bitch. However, the more Shen Yuan's cultivation improves... that bitch really seems to make more sense to him. As if his words were deeper, as if they settled there. So much resentment, so much pain from so many years, Shen Yuan is an unstable and irascible chaos. His gifts falter, his mood does so more.

Luo Binghe knows something is going on. He knew that this strange "prince" was not normal, but why does he look so corrupted lately? Luo Binghe doesn't know anything about him, where he even comes from, but he's going to find out. Whatever the cost.

[nikonuee]

Shang Qinghua should make the Xianxia version of Redbull.

Maybe he can't get Coffee in this world (Why Oh Why did he not write in coffee-) But He'll eat his own paperwork (And maybe go down for attempted murder-) if he doesn't start getting more caffeine in his system to deal with tax season!

So, some herbs and ill-advised monster parts (The feathers of the 3-headed celestial bull being a key ingredient had him ugly laughing when he figured *that* out-) mixed in with his tea later and viola! DIY energy supplements! Yippee!

He is defs going to use this responsibly!

(Spoiler: he doesn't and when he eventually crashes and gets brought to Mu Qingfan. He gets the reaming of his life about untested medicines and then bullied into allowing MQF into helping refine it because like HELL the doctor is giving up those stimulants!)

[hackauthorairplane]

i think shang qinghua and tianlang-jun should have a weird chemistry that make other people (lbh, mbj, sqq, etc) confused and uncomfortable

post-maigu ridge but pre-moshang getting together, for whatever reason sqh and tlj are in the same proximity in front of others, probably their first ever conversation -> sqh is really not as scared as the others think he should be! sqh usually does his snivelly coward bit when around demon lords, and no one would call him stupid so why does he seem...weirdly chill? is he starting a conversation about the latest bingqiu rpf?! 🤨

why is tlj interested in what sqh is saying? why is he laughing at the joke sqh made? why is he so enthusiastically responding, leaning forward in interest, eyes glimmering??

Shang Qinghua, why are you staring at the former demon emperor's boobs????? why are you smirking like that??????!

[benevolenterrancy]

honestly. if you decided to create giant fucking corpse-head-spiders to populate your world with then this is exactly what you deserve.

[whos-the-seme]

very sleep deprived but what if: "I dunno, I'm just saying--" sqh wiggles his eyebrows at him.

"stop saying. immediately." to punctuate his words, sqq goes for his true and tried technique: throwing a fan at sqh's forehead with deadly accuracy. it strikes true before the other could dodge and the other lets out a hiss of pain, but stops talking with a small whine of "bro--" and a pout.

a few minutes later, when sqh is still sending him shiny wide eyes and exaggeratedly rubbing at his forehead, sqq sighs. without thinking, he leans over to smack a giant wet kiss on the slightly reddened spot, pushing a bit of spiritual energy into it. he dismisses down the intense urge he has to bite and make it worse. the mark disappears.

"there, I healed it. fucking happy?"

"very happy, thank you very much"

sqh looks at him from underneath his eyelashes, a teasing smirk growing on his face at getting sqq to capitulate, and sqq rolls his eyes, bc sqh honestly could've and should've done it himself, what does he look like, a fucking healer?? he already has to deal with without a cure and sure the amount of energy needed to heal a small knock on the head was so minuscule that it wouldn't affect him even on a bad day, but like???

he's been giving in more and more these days but its not his fault that the airplane was so convincing when he started to act fucking pathetic and just made sqq feel bad for him a little.

(and okay, he likes how vicious, apathetic, hyper competent a-hua can sometimes just be so cute and needy--)

someone cleared their throat.

sqq instantly freezes. he carefully does not notice from the corner of his eyes how sqh has also gone rigid.

in eerie and stiff unison, they both turned their heads to face the rest of the room. the very full room. the very full room of other peak lords. the very full room of other peak lords because they were currently at the monthly peak lord meeting.

the very full room of other peak lords that were staring at him and sqh because they just witnessed him plant a kiss on sqh's forehead.

the silence stretched.

damnit, airplane.

[disgracefulthings]

Shen Qingqiu: Have you ever noticed that most of the Peak Lords are, uhh, you know...

Shang Qinghua: Gay AF

Shen Qingqiu: Sure

Shang Qinghua: Of course, I made them that way

Shen Qingqiu: Really? Even Liu Qingge?

Shang Qinghua: Dude, you can't seriously still think he's straight! C'mon bro

Shen Qingqiu: Well are there any straight Peak Lords?

Shang Qinghua: Of course, there's five of them

Shen Qingqiu: And which ones are those?

Shang Qinghua: ...I don't remember their names

[artsarasp]

I didn't have enough spoons to draw the full comic page, have some shitpost instead.

y'all should know that sqh's system is absolutely not touching whatever mess sqq's system has going on.

[Masterpost]