#wtf is polyester

[deikshen]

Shen Yuan who, on a shitty walk through nature with his brothers, finds a sword. It's like, a black, rusty sword, but Shen Yuan is just like, hey!!! It's a sword!!! He keeps it.

And Shen Yuan accidentally acquires a Xin Mo.

He actually obviously doesn't know it's Xin Mo, at first. It's just a pretty silly sword. Xin Mo, of course, can't feed on spiritual energy and be vicious because, well, there's none of that in this world. However, Xin Mo can intrude into Shen Yuan's dreams.

Shen Yuan randomly dreams about the sword spirit telling him about the things can do. Shen Yuan thinks he won't fall asleep again after reading another PIDW update and ignores it.

Shen Yuan has that sword in his house, perhaps next to a sofa where he spends many hours. And Xin Mo, lacking spiritual energy, begins to feed on emotions. It feeds off of Shen Yuan's wild rage when he critiques novels, his frustration when he loses games, his visceral hate when Airplane screws up an update- from the constant and continuous almost repressed excitement of Shen Yuan.

And if Shen Yuan notices that the sword looks like, restoring itself? Well, it's not really that important, I mean... Of course Shen Yuan is going to ignore that until it bites him in the ass.

And it happens. Xin Mo appears again in his dreams; tells him about other worlds where he can have more power if he wields it, about fruits that he can use to obtain health and immortality... Shen Yuan already knows all that shit, he's up to date with PIDW and Xin Mo is the protagonist's golden finger and a vicious thing addicted to sex and blood.

However, the dream he had is insistent and Shen Yuan wakes up and says, well, fuck it... He takes up the sword -which has no rust at all, and in fact does look a bit like Xin Mo from some fanarts- and concentrates on thinking about PIDW. It's not like the sword is going to open a dimensional portal, true?

TRUE???

There is a dimensional portal open in the middle of his living room. Shen Yuan screams, the portal closes and he runs to hide the sword in the closet.

In his dreams, Xin Mo teases him. Isn't he curious about other worlds? Doesn't he want to see monsters beyond his understanding? Doesn't he want to explore the flora of a mystical world? Shen Yuan is too tempted. In the end, he says, fuck it. Buy xianxia tunics online, other glasses with more acceptable frames for the ancient era, gives in to the fact that he will be seen as an outcast because of his short hair and buys a straw hat with a veil, sends a message to his family group not to bother him because he will watch a marathon of One Piece from start to finish and if anyone comes to visit him he will force them to watch it with him- opens the portal and walks through.

It feels disgusting and horribly dizzy. On the other side, there is a forest.

Xin Mo pushes spiritual energy through him as soon as they arrive in that world. Tells him that he is going to need it.

The forest path leads to a village; there, it is clearly a xianxia environment and Shen Yuan is pleased that his robes fit. He trades some vintage-looking pieces of jewelry he bought secondhand for coins of that world and is ready to stay a few days while he finds some spirit fruits or something.

Xin Mo is still an annoying bitch, but Shen Yuan gets used to it. Get his spiritual fruits, start a book of pressed flowers, spend a week of simple and comfortable life missing the internet and sleeping in uncomfortable beds at inns until the spirit fruits do their work, and Shen Yuan wakes up with a strange feeling in his veins and no need to wear glasses.

Xin Mo uses that to his advantage; the stronger Shen Yuan is, the more can influence in him, and the more can feed with the favorite foods blood and sex. Shen Yuan opens a portal back to his room at the end of the week, he answers some overdue messages to prove that he is still alive, and sleeps for a whole day in his bed.

He buys more xianxia clothes online, takes a risk by getting hair extensions to dispense his straw hat, and decides to go back. Just because he wants to continue upgrading his health a bit more, and well, he can cultivate spiritual energy now, right?

It turns out to be difficult. It's difficult to get cultivation manuals and difficult to get instructions. He barely manages to do so in some awkward ways, but discovers that all the cultivation manuals are clearly in the emperor's libraries.

So, he decides that he will pay tribute to Emperor Luo Binghe. He will offer him precious things and his only condition to continue providing that is… to visit his library.

Precious things, of course, are many things that he knows do not exist in that world. Coffee beans, cocoa beans, chocolate in all its forms. He refuses to allow things like tobacco into the world, but he does allow modern spices, modern recipes!!, even cheap jewelry turns out to be a precious thing because, what the hell, of course the world of PIDW wouldn't have the slightest idea what plastic is.

Shen Yuan introduces himself as a prince-diplomatic envoy from another world. His mission is to obtain certain information from this world... and the gifts are a test of the loyalty of the world from which he comes. Shen Yuan hopes that the demon court will be so enthralled by the foolish things he has brought that they will swallow his tale.

Luo Binghe doesn't seem convinced, but agrees.

So Shen Yuan comes every two-three weeks, covers Xin Mo in talismans to conceal it, transforms it into a pocket dagger, and hides it in the inner pockets of the shorts he wears underneath of the xianxia robes. And he brings a lot of gifts with him. He gets a little silly; he buys old-looking glass jars and fills them with hundreds of packets of instant ramen seasoning, and others with the instant ramen noodles. Explains how they are used and distributes them as gifts around the court. Bring candy without its plastic wrappers, more chocolates, chocolate peanuts, chocolate almonds? Chocolate powder! Powdered sugar! Marzipan! He brings makeup and skincare for the wives, and soon they are all wearing the most beautiful and impossible colors.

His chests are full of food from a distant world, their journeys seem to be long to return each time. Shen Yuan continues to learn; he is always under the distant watchful eye of Luo Binghe, but he does not steal any scrolls. He reads, he studies, he learns. His cultivation really improves, his fragile health does too.

Xin Mo is still that insolent and persistent bitch. However, the more Shen Yuan's cultivation improves... that bitch really seems to make more sense to him. As if his words were deeper, as if they settled there. So much resentment, so much pain from so many years, Shen Yuan is an unstable and irascible chaos. His gifts falter, his mood does so more.

Luo Binghe knows something is going on. He knew that this strange "prince" was not normal, but why does he look so corrupted lately? Luo Binghe doesn't know anything about him, where he even comes from, but he's going to find out. Whatever the cost.

[racingmiku2018]

if this wasnt 100% polyester id have copped

[robinsnest2111]

every couple days I remember my huge soft spot for chrissy cunningham and how I wanna cosplay her some day.... sigh...

[ablazeinhim]

I have such a problem with "semi-formal" designations for event attire because I am always ok being overdressed to a casual thing, but don't want to be the person too dressed down at the gig.

[fandomtherapy44]

Five Hargreeves X reader Coffee and Sarcasm One shot!

Summary: Y/n works at Griddy's Coffee House to make money for school. It's not the best but it's not the worst. But everything gets more interesting when a certain customercomes in her life changes in best way.

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x reader

WC: 1.8k

divider from

Firefly Graphics

reblog banner from

cafekitsune

AN/ Hey Ya'll so... I hated the ending of TUA if you liked I'm happy you did but to me, it was the worst way to end such an amazing beloved show. I know it works logically with how the show is set up but it's just so dessperseing to think they never existed. And there was a lot more that was wrong with this season. But one of the biggest to me is LILA AND FIVE like WTF. I hate the excuse of oh Five needs a love interest, like no he does not his love story was always getting back to his family and saving them, and for Lila oh how they destroyed two great characters in the last two episodes how she was just was willingly cheat on Digeo and not to mention their kids!? So this is my take on Five and Having a Love Interest. I hope you enjoy it.

My life wasn’t perfect but good, I didn’t have adventures every day, and I could barely afford to go out of state to see my family every year. Like I said not perfect but good. I worked in a little coffee/doughnut shop named Griddy’s my boss was so sweet that she let me do my schooling on the side and would let me take the extra tips from the pool knowing that I didn’t have all the money when going to school.

“Ugh I can’t do it that guy is a total asshole, Y/n can you take him.” My coworker Becky asked me with pleading eyes. I looked up from my textbook. “He’s really that bad?” She huffs and puffs. “Well no he’s just so arrogant and sarcastic.” I looked back down at my book knowing I had to finish this section. “I would but I have to finish this-”

“You can take my tips from tonight.” That shuts me right up. “Did he already order any doughnuts?” I tied my apron back over my pink polyester uniform quickly. Becky was just able to give that up because she only had this job because she was rich and her parents forced her to get this job to teach her responsibilities even though they still paid for everything she was lucky. She gets a smirk on her face and a hand on her hip. “That’s what I thought, and no.” Correction she was a lucky bitch.

I walked out to this apparently horrible guy and surprisingly he was around my age and wearing a suit, interesting. “Hi I’m Y/n welcome to Griddy’s coffee what can I get you.” he puts down the newspaper and he was one of the cutest assholes I have ever seen. “Coffee black, and try not to burn which I know can be really hard but I need my fix so try okay?” And there is the arrogant and sarcastic part.

The guy had become almost a regular and came in every night at two am on the dot and in the same suit. He looked about twenty-one but around fifty years old in his eyes. This time he came to the bar. “Ahh so we are venturing out to the bar instead of our corner booth today are we?” I asked him teasing him as he sat down. He gave me his usual roll of his eyes and groan. “Y/n just the usual okay?” I wrote it down even though I had it memorized. A black coffee and one glazed doughnut. “Aye aye, captain.”

I got started on his coffee while he was going through some type of file. I put it in front of him and see what he’s going through. “You are in the CIA, no offense but wouldn’t you be like a kindergartener at our age to them?” He looks up at me a little caught off guard. “I tested very high in ninth grade.” That sounds very real. “Okay, then I should be in the same place I was the highest tester in every grade in eighth grade.” He gets a puzzled look. “Really?” 

“What’s that supposed to mean,” I questioned in defense with my hands on my hips. He realizes what he insinuated by accident. “Not that you are dumb I know you are very smart.” I now think he was just trying to save his ass from hot coffee being poured on him. “How?” He glances down at my textbooks. “You’re studying to be a lawyer a public self-defense one at that so that’s how I know. And even if you weren’t you are working every day for the future which I would know is important. I’m… sorry if I made you think otherwise.” I accepted his apology but he wasn’t off the hook yet. “Tell me your name then.” He was baffled. “What?”

“Yeah if I’m going to be serving you coffee for the perceivable future and you are truly sorry I would like your name.” “I can’t do that I’m a CIA agent.” I picked up his cup and canceled the doughnut. “Ok well have a nice life, sir.” I step away and head back to the back doors. I can hear him sigh and mumble something under his breath. “I can’t believe I’m doing this it’s five.” I turn back with a smug smile. I put the coffee back and lean down to him.

“What was that I couldn’t hear you?” He rolls his eyes and answers me. “It’s five.” “Five as in the number?” Five I guess, huffs. “No Five as in the letter, yes the number.” I go back to my standing pose. “Hey Five you just apologized for being an Ahole so watch it, and I like it ‘Five’. ” I said as I put my hands up like it was a headline. “Yeah yeah whatever.” He jokily waved me off. “So what else can I get you Five.” Oh, I was so going to use his name as much as possible.

Five and I had been having fun being sarcastic Aholes to each other but we knew not to push the limits. This night I was very stressed because I had a major test the next day and just couldn’t obtain the information. Five walks in on the dot with his usual snarky attitude. “Hey, waitress I can’t wait forever.” Of course, he was kidding, and had only been thirty seconds since he walked in. “Not in the mood Five,” I said without looking away from my textbook.

“Oh come on you know I can’t function without the best coffee in the world.” I gave him a side eye wanting to blow him off but when I looked in his deep brown eyes I couldn’t say no. “Fine, just so you dont act like a cranky old man again.” I go over to pour it when he looks at my textbook. “You have a test tomorrow?” I sigh and walk over shuffling a little.

“Yes, I do, that I’m totally going bomb that it’s not even funny.” He’s confused. “Why, you are one of the best students in that class.” He stated so straightforwardly with no question. It felt… good when he did it was different than when my friends or parents said the same thing. “For some reason, I can’t get any of the practice questions right.” I pointed at the sheet of questions. “I’ll help you study.” 

I was a little shocked I mean we were friendly but I didn’t know we were friends. “Five I can’t ask you to do that I’m sure you have an important CIA thing to do tomorrow or whatever.” He chuckles at my little jab. “You didn’t ask I’m offering, so better fill up that pot and sit down because you are going to pass this test.” I sit down across from him. “Thank you Five.” 

“Yeah yeah don’t say I never did anything for you.” 

I had the coffee fresh pot made and an extra glazed doughnut laid out when Five walked in. “What’s this- Whoa!” I threw my hands around him hugging him. “Thank you thank you thank you!” He seems unsure but then hugs me back. “I’m assuming that it went well.” I lean back with my arms still around him.

“Top of the class thanks to you!” For the first time, he gives me a genuine smile. “Good.” I then notice the tension between us I awkwardly let go and try to change the tension. “Um, I have everything ready for you. I got to go to do something I’ll be back.” I quickly scurry back to the doors I think about that moment and how it shifted how I saw him. Fuck I think I like Five.

It had been a couple of months after that moment and that I think I like Five has now changed into I know I like Five. So how the hell was I managing this crush good question, I wasn’t. Every time I looked at him my stomach did flips and would not stop. 

One day I was whipping down a table when a guy walked in and sat down at the bar. “Hi there what can getcha you.” He looks around like he was seeing something nostalgic. “Wow, it looks just like the other one.” He muttered. “What was that?” I asked.

“Oh, nothing I’ll talk a vanilla latte and chocolate eclair.” He then looks at the nametag. “Wait are you Y/n?” I look down I mean I think I am. “Right silly question my brother talks about you all the time. You know five.” Five? These two are brothers? “Five is your brother? And he talks about me?” 

“Right that does sound a little silly with how young he looks- I mean is, we are all adopted and my name is Viktor.” He holds out his hand and we shake. “Well, that makes more sense now.” I laugh. “Yeah he talks about how you want to public defense lawyer and how happy you make him so I wanted to thank you it’s been a while since he’s had a good friend.” Right friend what else would we be. “Of course but he can be a…” He finishes my sentence. “An asshole.” “Yes.” We both laughed.

Before I realized it had been six months since I first met Five and it was also Christmas the dinner was being decorated with a disgusting amount of Santas and jingle bells but I liked it reminded me of home. Five walks in an hour late. “Five you are late is your old mind finally catching up to you,” I smirked. “Ha ha, no I had to do something.” I was turned and there was a present on the counter. “Aww Five are you going soft on me.” “Just open it before the sun rises.”

I pull back the paper and there is a jewelry box. I opened it and there was a handmade bracelet. “Uh, I can take it back If-” He reaches for it. “No no, I love it thank you.” I go around the counter to hug him. This time tighter than last to show him I truly loved it. We let go slowly and he puts his hand on my cheek and we lean in. The kiss was slow but still passionate his lips a little chapped but still soft somehow. We let go and put our heads against each other giggling. I looked up and there was mistletoe. “Well, Five we just turned into a Hallmark cliche.” 

“I’m fine with that I’m just sad I didn’t do it sooner.” “Oh really, how long.”

“After I helped you study and you hugged me, Y/n I like you It’s just I’ve really never had a healthy relationship before to be honest I’m a little scared.” 

“Well it’s the same for me Five but we will figure this out together.” “Can I kiss you again?” I grip him by the tie and pull him down into another kiss. And I can’t help but think all this happened because of coffee and sarcasm.

To me, that's how you do a romance. Hope you guys enjoyed it.

[bonnibelleangelica]

Writing: Things I Learnt the Hard Way #14

~Word Choice~

In any given scene, you will need to come up with anywhere from hundreds to thousands of words. The exhaustion of it either comes from a need to find exactly to right word, or from an over-abundance of choice. There’s just so many options.

So let me give you a tip.

Pick words that are themetic. Let them help you more than just convey what's going on. If you character is in a heated moment with her love interest, tensions are high, he’s not “looking over her”, tell me “his gaze stroke her from head to toe.”

Examples:

You can have entire scenes where no one flirted, no one tried anything, no one even thought about how this would be the perfect time to do it. But fuck, why was that still so steamy? Oh it's because instead of making the main character to follow the rules, he told her to behave, bending her to his will whether she liked it out not. Bending? That’s what he should do to her. I’m reading this book because I want him to hurry up and... What was it you said? “His boiling gaze pinned her to the wall, giving her no choice but to submit to his terms.” So they fucking up against the wall freaky-style? No? Oh wtf he just looked at her. Then why am I pregnant?

If your character is disgusted by a peasant's lack of hygiene, tell me how the stench infected their nose. It's more than just judgment, they worry that kind of lifestyle is contagious.

Let your word choices tell us about your character’s perspective and beliefs. Especially in first person, your character isn’t going to be neutral in his own head. He’s not walking up and happy describing the beautfiul detailing on his exes wedding dress or his bully’s charming smile, why would he? When you’re bitter and bias, you find problems, so let him find them.

“Her dress is cream and floor length, the silk fitted around her chest and arms with a train that flows out behind her. The buffet is a wealth of soups and curries, some sweet pastries being set aside for dessert. I look back in time to see her remove her veil from her swirling golden bun and dinner begins.”

Nah, be bitchier. She’s a cheater and he’s bitter as hell. Rake her through the mud.

“The dull white fabric, probably polyester if I know her, drops to the floor from her waist to drag along the carpet. The sleeves buckle at her elbows, clearly expecting to have more room, but based on the overflowing buffet of slop and over-sweetened pastries, I’m guessing she abandoned her diet. Probably around the time she fried her hair off with bleach.”

Same wedding, different character-building. Now you know the kind of people they are. These are not the words of someone who hates this woman, just like the first example is not a man who has been cheated on and then invited to the wedding. Abandoned her diet? Interesting word choice.

Good luck xox

Check out “My Writing Tips” in the tags for more, and check out my new book here > @statusquoofficial

[austinslounge]

thanks for the answer! i wonder, why was his relationships with hot/can read polyester t-shirt girl toxic? like i never read the whole lore and everything; i just saw that cindy was super shady towards austin and talk some shit on an interview, kinda wanna know wtf that crazy family did to him

i wonder, why was his relationships with hot/can read polyester t-shirt girl toxic?

Lmao!! 🤣 Good one!

In answer to your question, I don't think any fans are ever going to know for sure because we weren't in his relationship.

The signs that we as fans picked up on that the relationship may have been toxic were:

She was always spotted kissing other women and men while in a relationship with him

She was consistently disrespecting him in subtle ways

His body language with her

She was constantly calling the paps on them, and you could tell that he didn't like it

He was liking Instagram posts tagged "toxic relationships" and "my girlfriend hates me" (especially last year)

The man looked tense, unhappy, and uncomfortable around her most of the time, but yet would look so happy, relaxed and carefree with just about everyone else lol 😄

But unless Austin somehow gets candid about his previous relationship with her in a print interview or something, we're probably never going to know.

[mutiniir]

How the heck do I draw *ahem* “women breasts?” Don’t worry, I’m not a weirdo. I’m a female artist who still has no idea how to draw em after 7 years.

from my experience, drawing boobs is like taping water balloons on a flat chest 🤔 they work the same way in physics too. they can come in all shapes and sizes. just make sure they dont suck in all the fabric of the shirt for no reason other than "i gotta emphasize that they have massive jugs!!"

like wtf no?! that kinda shit only works on tight clothing what are those boobs doing inhaling an XXL polyester shirt??

im not good at giving art advice sorry but i hope some of these make sense

[ihatecispeople]

even £800 suits these days will have polyester lining. I saw a £1600 wool coat with polyester lining!!! Only way to escape this shit is to make everything yourself like wtf!!

[slowly-grand-garden]

why can't I find proper synthetic clothing on my country's online marketplace

where the fuck are my acrylic turtlenecks. why is the only polyester no print t-shirt I managed to find is fucking sports brand one and costs like 5 cotton ones.

did fast fashion decide synthetic materials are too durable for them or something. I ordered some unholy 50% cotton-25%something-20% acryl-5%wool blend but it turned out to be ITCHY so I had to send it back.

never thought I'll face THIS problem. I just want to wear some familiar plastic wtf

[dinosaurcharcuterie]

I propose that any blend, whether fiber, thread, fabric or clothing has to have an unmistakable word for "blend" in its name. (e.g. viscose blend fabric)

Any fiber mentioned in the name has to either be the most-used fiber in the blend, or be preceded by it, like an ingredient list. (e.g. wool-silk blend roving)

No fiber which constitutes 15% or less may be used in the name, but all fibers must be listed on label included with sale. (see: above meme)

If a process of creating fabric could misrepresent what fiber content is included (fulling, linen weave, etc.), or present as a different fiber at a glance (satin weave anything as a silk dupe), that process must be disclosed in an unmistakable way. (e.g. fulled acrylic-wool blend slippers, linen weave polyester pants)

And if any corporate type wants to whine that that's tedious:

1. Just as tedious as going CSI on wtf you're selling us

2. Absolutely none of these rules prevent you from using a single fiber type and just selling it to us as what it is.

What's up, I made a meme that I'm sure is extremely broad-audience and relatable

[boypr1ncesss]

like why does this polyester look rlly good. like wtf. i might use it for her.

[bramtees]

Funny Skeleton "WTF Is A Kilometer?" T-Shirt – The Ultimate Lazy American Statement

Ever found yourself utterly confused when someone mentions kilometers? Do you instinctively measure distance in football fields, burgers, or “just down the road a bit”? If so, the Funny Skeleton "WTF Is A Kilometer?" T-Shirt by Bramtees is calling your name—probably in miles, of course.

Why This Shirt Is a Must-Have

Hilariously Relatable – If metric units make your brain hurt, this tee speaks for you.

Premium Comfort – Made from soft, breathable fabric, perfect for long car rides where you refuse to convert kilometers to miles.

Conversation Starter – Expect chuckles, eye-rolls, and maybe a few metric-system advocates trying to explain (don't worry, you can just walk away… in miles).

Perfect Gift – Ideal for your America-loving, metric-system-hating friend who still asks, “How many football fields is that?”

Who Needs This Shirt?

✔️ Anyone who still doesn’t understand the metric system (or refuses to). ✔️ Road trip lovers who trust only miles per gallon and not some weird “liters per hundred kilometers” nonsense. ✔️ Sarcastic souls who enjoy making people laugh (or roll their eyes in frustration).

Final Verdict

If the metric system feels like an unnecessary foreign conspiracy, then this Funny Skeleton "WTF Is A Kilometer?" T-Shirt is your new uniform. Wear it proudly, embrace your mile-measuring ways, and let the world know: converting is overrated.

🛒 Get yours now at Bramtees – where sarcasm meets style!

Want me to tweak anything or add more SEO elements? 😊

More Design at Bramtees

[taeminno]

Sweater After Monday and Tuesday

Sweater After Monday and Tuesday Maak je week wat luchtiger met onze "After Monday and Tuesday Even the Calendar says WTF" sweater! Deze grappige en comfortabele trui is perfect voor iedereen die een hekel heeft aan de maandagblues en een vleugje humor in zijn outfit wil brengen. Gemaakt van een zachte en warme katoenmix, ideaal voor casual dagen thuis, op het werk of tijdens een ontspannen uitje. Met deze sweater trek je gegarandeerd een lach en laat je zien dat je de week met een knipoog tegemoet gaat. Perfect als cadeau voor vrienden, collega's, of gewoon voor jezelf. Draag het en maak van elke dag een WTF-moment! Wij hebbent deze sweater speciaal ontworpen en zal ook speciaal voor jouw bedrukt worden. Elke sweater is daarmee uniek. Mooie sweater van 80% gekamd katoen / 20% polyester en heeft een perfecte pasvorm en voelt zeer zacht aan. Comfortabele lengte voor een vlotte retaillook Perfect Sweat Technology. Binnenkant geborsteld. Door de stretch aan de mouwen en onderboord krijgt deze sweater een modieus uiterlijk. Mouweinden in Elasthan Onderboord in Elasthan Wasvoorschrift 30 °C, normaal programma  

[you-need-not-apply]

Vegans do more harm than good 90% of the time! Please research wtf your using before you go and use it because it’s “vegan”

Also polyester/ plastic is made of dead things that turned to oil after millions of years… so it’s not vegan.

[every-single-day]

What if instead of hiding away at the church, Johnny and pony went on a crime spree. Pony wanted to do cool shit like Paul Newman and Johnny just went wherever pony did.

"Wow," pony said in awe. "This car is so fire."

Johnny gave him a sideways glance and looked down at him. "GANG wtf u talking about?!?! We're in the country."

Pony opened his mouth to respond, but something caught his eye. There was a figure in the distance, riding a flying carpet? "Hey Johnny," He said as he nudged him in the arm to get his attention. "What's that-"

KABLOWIE

the mysterious figure flew right into ponyboy, knocking him off his 4 legs!

"Sorrey matey," a boy with a new york said as he held out a hand to ponyboy, pulling pony to his hind legs. "I'm just tryna get to santa fe."

Johnny's jaw flew to Nebraska. "J-J-J-JACK KELLY?!?!?!"

The new Yorker looked at him like he was crazy. "Bella?" He called out. "Where are you loca?!"

Johnny pulled pony closer and whispered in his ear. "Yo this male tenor is crazy, let's dip."

The white boy tenor's head snapped in their direction. "My name's clyde, not Jack," He scoffed. "Besides, I'm going to Orlando."

Ponyboy's tail waved away the flies, and his snout scrunched in confusion. "Orlando?"

Clyde's face brightened. "Yes! Orlando, Orlando, I love you orlando!" He sang out. "SeaWorld, and Disney! And putt, putt, and golfing!"

The two Oklahomians looked freaked out. "What the hell?"

Clyde paled. "H-hell?" He stuttered out. "NO! NOT THIS AGAIN!"

A Starbucks double shot espresso came flying towards Clyde. It picked him up and they flew into the sunset. "NOOO! Not this spooky Mormon hell dream again!" He screamed until he was too far to be heard.

Pony was terrified. "What the sigma?! Let's help him!" He pulled out a glock 19 and started aiming at the Starbucks cup.

Johnny was also terrified. "What the fart?!" He tooted. "You can't just do that!"

The wrestled over the gun, whether to shoot the cup or not. Eventually a gun shot rang out. Both collapsed to the floor. Johnny with a heater in his hands, and pony with a hole in his horso (torso (pronounced whore-so (a pun on torso because horse-o and torso rhyme))).

A siren rang out in the distance and the pope came and arrested Johnny.

Johnny sat the in back of the pope's cybertruck, head in his hands. What else could go wrong?

He was dropped off at an all men's prison. It was boring and scary for a 16 year old. He stuck to himself, isolated from the rest of the prison. At night he woke up to a green light. Johnny had always believed in the green light. That's what made him fool enough to try.

"Pop," a voice rang out as it danced around a cell pole. It was a man. A beefy man who resembled Mr. Clean.

"Six," a male in a blue uniform with blonde hair and a smile as bright as the sun sang while holding a bowl of chocolate batter.

"UH uh," a ginger said as he waved his finger in a disapproving manner.

"Stop!" A voice screamed. "No more cell block hip hop!"

"Too late," some blonde guy sang.

All 5 guys stood infront of him and started dancing. "STICKAYYYYYY," they sang.

"No," Johnny whimpered out in disbelief. "This can't be happening!"

"Don't do it johnny," the blonde finger (Dallas "Tulsa" Winston) warned.

"Yeah!" The golden retriever named Zero Sugar Shirley Temple 7-UP agreed. "It's not worth it."

"Ethan Slater.."

"No!" The ginger and the crooked nose guy yelled.

"Ethan Slater"

Dallas "Tulsa" Winston ran at him in slow-mo.

"ETHAN SLATER!!"

The ground split in half and light started to burst out the cracks.

"Nyehahahahah 🧽👔" a voice laughed as it echoed throughout the continent.

A yellow sponge levitated on the ground and out the Crack. His mouth opened and spiders crawled out. "I've been.."

They all nodded in suspense. "You've been..?"

The deity lowered to the ground and walked up to Johnny. His skin was tanned like gold, shiny like silver. His face was curvy like a sponge. He adorned a pure 59% cotton and 59% polyester gown and a golden crown. He left a trail of Lillies in his wake. Vines and flowers grew in his footsteps. His eyes were brown and rich like honey. Once you mad eey contact, you couldn't let go. He radiated warmth like a mid summers day. He curly orange hair alike to an orange. But greasier. His skin is smooth like silk. Freckles dotted his cheeks like constellations. If you looked close enough, you could spot the ursa major.

Ethan slater's pale pink lips parted as his vocal cords started to buzz. The moment his voice rang out, birds and wildlife started surrounding him. Doves dropped flowers on his head, and rabbits started hopping out their holes. His lips curved into a smile as he spoke his last words.

"I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."

Js a thought 😁🎀 (I've been busy, sorry, dont get too sad without me 👅 (don't go counting hairs..) (these are lwk so fun to make, it starts with an idea and spirals into this))

The amount of references in this one is insane. I think my favorite part was the over explanation of the horse-o joke.

I love that even when you're busy, you still have time to understand my lore <33