#submitter: aniragreenleaf

[incorrect-kabaneri-quotes]

Biba: Oh please, you wouldn’t hurt a fly!

Ikoma: You’re right! Because a fly is an innocent creature that never knowingly did anything to anybody. You, however, I would maim.

[incorrect-kabaneri-quotes]

All I have is Ayame-sama, and Ayame-sama is full of sunshine and candy and hope, and every time I try to tell her the world is on fire, she just hands me a marshmallow to roast.

Kurusu, probably

[incorrect-kabaneri-quotes]

Yukina: Going to Plan B?

Ayame: Technically that would be Plan G.

Yukina: How many plans do we have? Is there a Plan M?

Ayame: Yeah, Ikoma dies in Plan M.

Kurusu: I like Plan M.

[incorrect-kabaneri-quotes]

My own father thought I was a monster… He was right of course, but it still hurt.

Biba

[incorrect-kabaneri-quotes]

Mumei: You’re not my mom!

Kajika: I don’t act that way! What do you think, Ikoma?  Do I act like a mom?

Ikoma: Well, I -

Kajika: Please, stop rubbing your eye and speak clearly when you talk!

Ikoma: Yes, mom!

[incorrect-kabaneri-quotes]

Biba: There’s three ways to do things; the right way, the wrong way and the Biba way!

Ikoma: Isn’t that the wrong way?

Biba: Yeah, but faster!

[incorrect-kabaneri-quotes]

Mumei: Where do babies come from?

Ikoma: Grownups.

Mumei: Where do grownups come from?

Ikoma: Babies, now you know.

[incorrect-kabaneri-quotes]

Mumei: That’s because Biba has a challenging personality!

Ikoma: What she means is he’s mostly a jerk. But, every once in a while, he can be a dick.

[incorrect-kabaneri-quotes]

What am I going to do with you, Biba?! I don’t want to say this is a new low, because every time I do, you take it as a personal challenge!

The shogun to Biba, probably

[incorrect-kabaneri-quotes]

Mumei: It’s okay, if you get scared, you can just squeeze my hand.

Ikoma: I am not scared!

Mumei: Yeah, and Suzuki’s love life isn’t pathetic.

Suzuki: It’s true!

[incorrect-kabaneri-quotes]

Powerful fused colony, please accept this humble and tasty offering.

Kurusu while holding up Ikoma

[incorrect-kabaneri-quotes]

Sukari: The hunters asked me a lot of questions about Ikoma. I played dumb.

Yukina: Was it hard?

[incorrect-kabaneri-quotes]

Biba: Surrender.

Kurusu: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.

[incorrect-kabaneri-quotes]

Horobi: We need you to distract the town leader.

Biba: Right.

Horobi: What are you gonna do?

Biba: I’m gonna kill them all. That oughta distract ‘em.

[incorrect-kabaneri-quotes]

Ikoma is gonna be okay. I made him a PB&J. He said he didn’t want it, so I ate it. He was still sad, so I made him another PB&J. He didn’t want that one either, so I ate it. Anyway, Ikoma wants to be alone for a little while and we’re out of peanut butter.

Takumi, probably (Rest in peanut butter)

[incorrect-kabaneri-quotes]

Kurusu: *takes out knife* We have ways of making people talk…

Kurusu: *takes out an apple* …by giving them fresh apple slices.