#sunseeker oneshot

[lexithwrites]

—I don't want to hold you back from where you might belong. (jegulus)

based on my post about james going to Sirius’ flat after a breakup and waking up regulus

“I’m sorry, James. I just…this isn’t going to work. I think we both thought it would if we tried and made sacrifices and we did but…I can’t do it anymore. It’s not…it’s not worth it. I’m sorry.”

The bus was practically empty at this time of night. Other than himself, there was a younger woman who clearly just finished a long shift at work, an elderly gentleman at the back who had fallen asleep twice, and a couple in the corner whispering and giggling at everything the other said. James was at the front, his temple pressed against the cold, frosted up glass. It seemed to make his headache go away, but his chest was still in pain. That probably wasn’t going away for a while.

Rachel was gone. Just like that. She told him to leave so she could figure out her next move, and so he left. He packed a bag and walked out in silence as she cried, and got on the first bus that he could. He hadn’t even put up that much of a fight when she broke up with him because he had seen it coming, felt it coming, but couldn’t bring himself to consider that she’d actually go through with it. That she’d dump him because they weren’t compatible, not anymore.

James was spontaneous. He loved adventure and jokes and trying new food and visiting new places with his friends, he was a social butterfly that needed love from everyone around him, not just one person. Rachel was the opposite. She wanted to stay at home, settle down now, start trying for kids whether they were married or not. And he loved her. He loved that life just…not yet. He was only 26 for god sake, he had one pregnancy scare with Lily and that was enough. They’d laughed about it when the test came back negative; laughed because they couldn’t be parents at 20. They just couldn’t. He still didn’t want to be one at 26, and Rachel didn’t understand why. She was a few years older than him, sure, but they had talked about their future early. She said she’d wait for him, that she understood the pressure.

And then…then she stopped waiting.

James wasn’t mad at her, really. She wanted that life and he was technically holding her back from it. Even with the ache in his heart and the pit in his stomach he knew this was right. That staying together would mean more fights about not being engaged when ‘all of her friends are married already’, and James begging her to hang out with his friends for once. Rachel wasn’t a fan of their pub night outs and band gigs, it was all too loud and boisterous.

God, James thought as the bus turned a corner and his head thumped against the glass, we really weren’t going to work.

He looked out at the road they were on and leaned forward, thump pressing into the red button on the pole for the bus to stop. The bus turned another corner before stopping at the familiar road and James stood up. He pulled up his hood to hide his face from the rain and quietly thanked the driver as he got off, stepping out into the late October weather and grimacing. He missed summer. He missed swimming in the ocean and kicking sand up as he ran down the beach with Ra—

His hand clenched around the strap of his bag and he walked towards the house, knowing it just by how many steps it took to get there. He felt heavy as he walked, converse splashing water over the pavement and shouldering the bag so it didn’t slip. The familiar black door came into view and he glanced up when he noticed a blue glow from one of the bedrooms. Regulus. If he was home then Sirius probably was, which was a good sign.

James pressed the doorbell and stepped back, hunching his shoulders as the wind began to pick up again. He shivered just thinking about what Rachel was doing right now, in the flat all alone. Was she crying? Was she exhausted? Was she relieved? Maybe she had already told all her friends and they’d come over to comfort her? Or celebrate. They hadn’t liked James all that much anyway. He blinked back tears—or was it rain—and just pressed the doorbell again; twice in quick succession.

Hurry up, Sirius.

He was about to press it again when he heard the latch, and he exhaled as the door opened, a figure standing there.

“Hey, I know it’s late, I just—“ James looked up and blinked. “Reg?”

“It’s almost one in the morning, James.” He grumbled, rubbing his face tiredly. James blinked again. He was stood in an oversized jumper and some boxers, feet in fluffy socks to keep the heat in.

“Is your brother here?”

“What? No, date night.” Regulus yawned and James mentally kicked himself for being stupid enough to forget that Thursday was date night. His mind had been elsewhere, was his only excuse. “What do you want? I was asleep.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry.”

“What do you want? You’re letting the cold in.” Regulus looked tired, fed up even. James really had woken him up.

“I—Rachel broke up with me.” Regulus stared at him, then he frowned. James rolled his eyes. “She was my girlfriend for two years? You met her. Three times.”

“Was she blonde?”

“Brunette.”

“Oh. My condolences. Why are you here?”

“Christ, I’m upset and wanted to see your stupid in-a-perfect-relationship brother, but if he’s not here I’ll just…fuckin’ go somewhere else.” James put his face in his hands, trying to regulate his breathing. Where else could he go? Maybe the train station? Could call his parents and ask them if he could stay, but that meant three hours of travel and he had no idea if the trains ran this late on a Thursday. He started to feel his breath get shaky, and he willed himself not to cry before he heard a frustrated sigh.

“Come in. Hurry up.” Regulus had stepped to one side, wrapping an arm around his middle as he beckoned James in with a scowl.

James didn’t hesitate. It was too cold outside to start arguing and he could just wait for Sirius and Remus to get back…the next morning. Fuck.

“Thanks…” he gave Regulus a half-assed smile and received an eye roll in return. James took off his shoes and set his bag down, occasionally staring at Regulus as he wasn't moving or even looking towards the stairs in a not so subtle hint that he wanted to leave. He was just...watching him. Arms folded, eyes sharp and jaw set. It was a bit unnerving but James had grown up around him, he was used to this. "I'm sorry I woke you up."

"You would have woken me up even if Sirius was here," Regulus pointed out and James nodded awkwardly. "Would you like some tea?"

Now that caught him off guard. "What?"

"Tea? You're sad, I'm offering you tea."

"Uh...sure? Milk and four sugars." Regulus grimaced. "Don't judge me."

"It's disgusting." He muttered as he padded into the kitchen, a light flicking on as he started rummaging through cabinets. James stood in the hallway for a little while before eventually making his way through the house behind him. Regulus usually stormed off upstairs whenever Sirius' friends were around, not even making an attempt at being polite. But James wasn't going to complain about the gesture he was being offered now, especially since he could really do with a hot mug of tea.

"Did you walk here?" Regulus asked, putting two tea bags into seperate mugs.

"Bus."

"You really need to learn how to drive." He pressed the button on the kettle as James snorted, seating himself at the kitchen island and shrugging off his damp coat.

"Yeah, I know. My Mum tells me every time I take the train to see her."

"She's right." Regulus turned and leaned his back against the counter, arms folded again. He looked cosy, James realised. Like he had just been bundled up in a bunch of blankets with the radiator going. He felt bad, then, for waking him. Although, if Sirius were here it would probably be worse. Having to listen to them talk until god knows when, probably get drunk to take James' mind off of the break up.

He recoiled a little. He almost forgot.

Regulus, being the observant person that he was, cocked his head a little. "Are you okay?"

"Hm? Oh...no, not really." James fiddled with his hands on the island. "She, uh, I really cared about her." Regulus didn't say anything, as if waiting for him to continue talking. "I'm not very good at the relationship thing, I think. I don't...want what everyone else wants. I'm not ready to have kids or even get married yet...someday, sure but...I just like having fun."

"You're too young for children." Regulus said and James shrugged.

"Rachel didn't think so."

"Well, that's her opinion. And it's wrong."

James winced. "You don't have to be so blunt about it."

"I'm just saying what I'm thinking." Regulus turned a second before the kettle was ready and James watched him delicatley pour the water into each mug, making sure they were equal measures before taking the milk out of the fridge.

"Can I have ski—"

"Skinny. I know." Regulus already had the carton in his hand and James felt taken aback. He remembered? He wasn't sure if Regulus had ever made tea or coffee for him before, maybe Sirius had told him? Once James tea was done, he poured in oat milk for his tea—barely even a drop—and stirred in the ridiculous amount of sugar for his guest and just some honey for himself. Regulus turned, handing the mug to James and then going back to leaning on the counter. "I'm sorry she broke up with you."

"I mean...it wasn't going to work."

"But you wanted it too."

"Yes, obviously. I'm in love with her."

"Love isn't always enough to make a relationship work." James stared at him in shock. Regulus was a wise person, even though he was a couple years younger than James, and sometimes he said things that really blew him away. He slowly reached for his tea and sipped it with a hum, his body relaxing at the warm, sweet taste.

"Thank you." Regulus gave him a curt nod before sipping his own tea. "She...it's for the best. Even if it sucks ass right now."

"At least you understand that. A lot of people would be crying by now."

"I cried when I was in the lift." James admitted and he thought he saw the hint of a smile on Regulus' lips. "That's not funny."

"I'm not laughing."

"You're holding it back, I know you."

"You don't."

"I grew up with you, I know you almost as well as I know Sirius." Regulus scoffed but didn't say anything else, just took another sip then looked at him.

"I think...even though she is valid for her wants and needs, so are you. You deserve someone who wants the same things that you do. You're a good man, James. Even if you are annoying."

James pouted. "I'm not that annoying."

"When you're not around Sirius, you're okay. Otherwise...almost unbearable."

"Ah! Almost!" James grinned at him and Regulus suddenly seemed to look rather flushed. "Thank you for the tea, I can sleep on the sofa until Sirius get's home?"

"Stay in his room. He won't come back until the morning and he'd kill me if he thought I'd let you sleep down here." Regulus said. "There's towels in the airing cupboard if you want a shower. Sirius won't care if you borrow his clothes, I assume half of your wardrobe is his anyway."

James scoffed. "Maybe like...a shirt or two."

"He wears your old University hoodie almost every day. You're practically married." James smiled fondly. If only Sirius hadn't met lovely old Remus, maybe he'd snatch him up for himself. Handsome, intelligent, wickedly funny and probably a beast in the bedroom.

Maybe James should try dating men for a bit...

"Thanks, Reg. You're pretty nice when you're sleepy." James teased, reaching over to ruffle his hair and laughing when Regulus tried, but failed, to dodge out of the way. He huffed at him and hid his face behind the mug as James got up and shouldered his bag again. "Cheers for letting me stay."

"Whatever. Don't drip water on the carpet. You're like a wet dog." James resisted the urge to shake his hair out. As he was walking to the stairs, Regulus called out to him. "You'll find someone when you're ready." He said, and James looked over his shoulder at him. Regulus swallowed. "Just...you're a nice person. Anyone would be lucky to have you."

James smiled softly at him. "You're just as sweet as Sirius, you know." He said, and made his way up the stairs to have a shower and pass out.

When he was gone, Regulus felt like he could breath again. He put the mug down and covered his face with his hands, wondering how the hell he got through that without breaking. James was single again, after two years he was on his own again. Regulus felt sick for being happy about it, because he shouldn't be. James was hurting and there was no way he'd ever just dive in and try to...well, he'd never be confident enough to try and 'woo' him anyway.

He was a loser. Sirius' weird little brother that stayed in his room all day and had the biggest, gayest crush on James Potter that he could barely hide. And then he turned up on his doorstep dripping wet, looking like a kicked puppy, and was now going to be sleeping one wall away from him. He groaned.

James was going to be the death of him, and god he was sick for knowing he'd enjoy every moment of it.

[daysofnights]

when sirius and james accidentally find out about regulus’ crush on james, sirius makes the mistake of assuming him and james are on the same page and tells him he trusts him to do the right thing (ie., let regulus down easy) james misinterprets this as sirius trusting him to never do anything that could hurt regulus and starts planning the wedding

[marlsswrites]

Regulus studying: James coming up from behind him and wrapping his arms around Regulus: Regulus: James, what are you doing? James: I'm being your personal blanket. Regulus: ...Can you be a blanket that helps me with charms homework? James shaking his head: Blankets don't study. Regulus smiling: sigh

[vinylfoxbooks]

March 26 - Skeptic | @into-the-jeggyverse | wc: 899

“I don’t like Regulus’ new partner.” Sirius mutters low to his boyfriend. They’re settled on the couch, mugs of tea in hand with Remus reading and Sirius curled around his partner, lost in his own thoughts. Said Regulus and partner have just left for the night, tucking into Regulus’ room. He says it only when he can’t hear them shuffling around between the bathroom and Regulus’ room anymore. 

Remus hums, putting a thumb on his line, “What about them?” 

“I don’t know, they're just… weird.” 

“I’m a werewolf, love, I don’t think you can be talking about dating someone a bit ‘weird’. I’m sure Regulus thought the same thing of me when we first met.” 

“That’s a lie,” he shakes his head, “He liked you from the beginning. I think it was all the nerdy book talk.” 

Remus gives him a flat look, “We both know that’s not true, I may have placated him with the ‘book talk’ but he was on edge around me for months after we first met.” Then, after a couple seconds he bookmarks his book and settles it on his lap, “What about them is weird to you?” 

Sirius sighs and takes a moment to formulate his words, “They… came in here strong in an… odd way. Wearing odd, hand-me-down-looking clothes that were all dirty, the way they talked was… it was like they weren’t really present.” 

“What are you trying to say?” Remus sighs, seemingly getting frustrated with his boyfriend, “And it better not be you stuck up family beliefs trying to prevent you from seeing your brother happy.” 

“I don’t think that’s it.” 

“Don’t you?” Remus hums, “I came walking into your house for the first time in a similar state, so what makes you so skeptical about Regulus’ partner?” 

“I just-”

“Listen, Sirius.” Remus sighs once more, turning to lake eye contact with him, “Your brother is clearly happy with James, it’s obvious with the way that they look at each other. They’ve also seemingly been dating long enough that Regulus would have been turned away by them if something was wrong. James clearly cared about Regulus.”

“But-”

“No, Sirius. Your brother can take care of himself, in fact we both know that he prefers to. Whether James is ‘weird’ or not, they’re nice and they seem to treat Regulus well and that’s all that matters. It should be obvious that Regulus introducing them to us was just a courtesy.” 

Sirius sighs, “I know…” 

“Excuse me,” A voice says behind them, making them both turn to it. James stands politely in the entrance to the hallway, gazing at them with the most present look in their eyes that SIrius has seen from them all day, “Where do you keep the tea that Regulus likes?” Sirius takes them in while Remus answers for him, noting their threadbare sleep clothes and lack of as many charms and jewelry pieces as they were wearing before. There are still a couple bracelets on their wrist, blue and with little eyes on the beads, and a couple pieces of jewelry in their piercings, but they’re much less decorated than they were before. 

Remus hums and watches them for a moment, “In the cabinet opposite the sink, we just had the kettle boiling so it shouldn’t take long. Mugs are in the cabinet to the left of the sink.” 

James smiles at him, “Thank you.” And with that, they sweep into the kitchen and the couple can hear the telltale signs of someone preparing some tea. Remus gives his boyfriend a look, Sirius just shakes his head and lays it on the taller’s shoulder, smiling when a hand comes up to pet through his hair. 

When they come back out a couple minutes later, Remus hums, “James?” After making sure he has their attention, he starts, “Can you tell me about how to care for the basil you got us?” 

James nods, making their way over to the couch chair and settling in it, muttering something as they put the mug of tea on the coffee table, “Basil is a bit persnickety about its care. It needs lots of sunlight, so putting it in your sunniest window is best, and it’s demanding on water. Keep the soil moist at all times. Watering it every couple of days would be best.” They gaze over at the beautiful, hand painted pot that holds the half-started basil that Sirius and Remus put on the coffee table when James handed it to them, “Once it starts consistent leaf growth, then you can start cutting off the leaves and using it for things like cooking, I’ve found that homegrown basil is extra flavourful. It’s also spiritually protective, believed to bring luck, wealth, and health to a household so take care of it and it’ll take care of you.” 

Remus seems a bit taken aback by the last part, but he collects himself after a moment and nods, “I’ll keep that in mind, thank you James.”

James smiles at him, moving to stand up, “Of course, have a good night you two.”

“You as well.” And with that, James makes their way down the hallway and into Regulus’ room once more. The interaction leaves Sirius conflicted, but he doesn’t comment on it anymore. Remus picks up his book and continues reading, shooting a glance at their new plant every once in a while.

[mrmumus]

•°°▪︎●•°My Love All Mine°•●▪︎°°•

____________________

Writed by my awesome friend

@ worse_etiquette in ao3!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66097822/chapters/170339506

Please go leave a kudo, she deserves it✨️💖🙏

____________________

Having to share the bed with someone was awkward. Regulus lay curled near the edge, wrapped under the soft blanket, trying his best not to awake the one peacefully sleeping beside him.

He turned slightly, enough to see better. James was there, hands tucked behind his head, breathing silently in the night.

A few hours earlier, when Regulus had left the room shared with Sirius—far too narrow—they had met in the hallway.

James had been standing in his tank top and mismatched pants. His glasses weren’t on his nose. He looked softer like that.

Regulus must have shown too much insecurity, because James felt the need not to leave him alone.

And now they were here, lying between the same sheets with the moon watching them through the window...

(Go to ao3 ;p)

[sommerregenjuniluft]

@croptopjames submission for mr james fleamont potter's birthday<3

2598 words - NSFW - cw: spanking, squirting, dirty talk, lil bit of degradation theyre being nasty idk it escalated

aka feral fucking your husband after seeing him in a shirt that doesn't quite fit like it used to~

“Baby, I’m home,” Regulus shouts after entering the front door, kicking it closed behind him with his foot as he balances the huge ice cream cake precariously on both his hands.

They’ve invited the whole family as per usual, what with their first year with Harry out of the house coming back from uni for his dad’s special day, Sirius and Remus driving down and picking up Effie and Monty on the way. All their friends will come later this week for brunch.

Today it’s just the few of them though and Regulus finds himself with a spring in his step at the thought of all of them together today.

James has taken the day off and Regulus was able to weasel his way into only half a shift today which he nearly missed entirely after the way James had sat down in his lap first thing in the morning and ridden him until he was shaking, cursing and babbling incoherently, all the while his husband was seated on his throne, smiling brightly, happiest man in the world, practically taking the matter of his birthday gift into his own hands.

“Hi love!” comes from somewhere on the higher level of the house.

Regulus brings the cake into the kitchen, shrugging off his jacket and quickly dispensing the celebratory sweet in the freezer before James sees it.

Not a moment after Regulus closes the drawer to grab a bowl of blueberries from the fridge James comes into the kitchen, huffing and cheeks flushed, a presumably heavy box of just…stuff in his arms that he must have gotten from the attic.

“James,” Regulus starts, blinking, “You were supposed to take the day off.”

His husband smacks a content kiss onto his cheek, grinning brightly. His glasses are smudged and sitting crookedly over his nose and Regulus is pretty sure he spotted a bit of spiderwebs in the mess of his hair.

“Ehh,” James makes dismissively, “I still felt restless after I hit the gym this morning once you left.”

He places the box down with a heavy thunk, petting its side like a horse—he’s such a dad, “And we’ve been wanting to get started on these babies after spring cleaning anyway, remember?”

Regulus rolls his eyes, fondness betraying him when the corners of his mouth tug upwards, “Mm, that might be true. Still it’s your birthd—”

Regulus halts.

“Love?” James looks at him inquiringly, hands propped on his hips.

On his very much naked hips. A palm length sliver of skin exposed between the indecently thin and short gym shorts and the—

“James, baby, what are you wearing?”

Oh, Regulus’ mouth is so, so dry.

“Huh?” James looks down at himself, shuffling in place before his head snaps back up to Regulus, “Oh! Yeah I found one of my old shirts from uni.” His husband snickers, giving a little twirl and shaking his hips from side to side like he isn’t currently taking five years off Regulus’ life expectancy.

“You–” Regulus stops again, eyes glued to the small swell of his stomach over the band of the white shorts, the dark hair splattered all over and coiling at the center, carving a path up and downwards. It’s downright indecent. His arms fill out the shirt just how they used to back in uni but with the difference that it’s more fat than muscle now—though Regulus knows well enough from personal experience how strong his husband still is. His pecs are visibly straining the material, the washed out, maroon letters spelling HOGWARTS cracking from the stretch.

Even more so when James leans back on his palms against the dining table, draping himself all prettily against the edge and smiling coyly, blinking doe brown eyes from under long lashes at Regulus as if he didn’t already have him warpped around his finger hook, line and sinker.

“Baby,” Regulus rasps and he barely recognises his own voice.

“Yeah, Reg?” James purrs, tilting his head and exposing the expanse of his neck.

“How long until Harry arrives?”

“An hour or two, depending on traffic,” James responds, voice all husky. Regulus is going to wreck him. Reduce him to a stuttering, squirting mess in the matter of half an hour, take his fucking word for it.

“Good enough,” Regulus grits out and then he crosses the distance in two long strides, already yanking at his tie.

They meet in a mess of parted lips, clicking teeth and tongues nudging, eager as ever, trying to lick into each other’s mouths and taste. Greedy for it, happily swallowing moans and tugging their bodies close. They slot into each other easily, practiced after all these years, decades and Regulus reckons that’s how they somewhat safely find their way onto the couch.

Regulus’ back hits the cushions with a soft oompf, barely time to gasp another breath and reach for his husband before James is straddling his lap, clasping Regulus’ stubbly jaw in warm, calloused palms and pulling him right back into their kiss. They don’t stay there for long with the way James is restlessly shifting on top of him, grinding his crotch right against the bulge in Regulus’ slacks, making them both groan.

At some point Regulus abandons James’ mouth in favor of kissing over the stubble of his cheek and jaw and latch onto his throat while simultaneously trying to get his stupid shirt buttons open. When the takes too long however James seems to grow impatient, batting his hands away and fumbling with them himself while they pant and grunt into each other’s mouths.

Regulus is nipping at James’ lower lip, already swollen and an obscene kiss bitten red and his husband makes a sound. Downright needy and he’s sitting there on top of Regulus, flushed and with that dazed look in his eyes, moaning like a little slut, so Regulus can’t quite help himself when he pulls one hand around and smacks James’ firmly on the bum.

It elicits a gasp, high pitched and followed by a long, drawn out moan and James sinking deeper into his lap, recapturing his mouth and desperately rutting down against where Regulus is hard and already throbbing. It’s a medical miracle, truly, that no matter how many times they’ve had sex, Regulus’ erection is always at its best form for James.

“Mnh,” James makes, their lips parting with a wet smacking noise, “Need you, baby.”

Regulus grunts, fingers digging harshly into the meat of James’ arse, “Slut.”

Just like expected, James whimpers, and so prettily at that. Eyebrows scrunching pitifully and he grinds once more, helplessly, “Please, please.” 

“But of course, sweety,” Regulus relents easily, licking a hot stripe up his neck, along his jawbone and then right across his slack mouth, “Anything for the birthday boy.”

James moans in response, nodding his head frantically.

Regulus nods his head towards the end of the couch where the pillows are piled, “Scoot up.”

His husband does so dutifully and it doesn’t take longer than a second for Regulus to make James lift his hips and rip the sheer piece of nylon off and throw it over his shoulder, not quite surprised yet still horribly taken off guard by the lack of boxer briefs underneath.

Regulus is left with nothing to do but stare at the mess of wet, thick curls and pink fold glistening with James’ slick, spit pooling under his tongue in an instant. He grabs James’ ankles, settling them over his shoulders, trainers still on and letting his hands drive over white tennis socks, hairy shins and strong calves. Digging his thumb in there and relishing in the gasp he elicits from his husband that way, hips twitching with the suspense. Regulus strokes up his boney knees, massages the big muscle of his thighs, the hair tickling his palms softly, all the while letting himself pitch forward, making sure to spill warm breath over where James wants him most right now.

He goes further, letting his hands rake up and over his stomach, rucking the shirt up as he goes and tucking it over the swell of his pecks, exposing him for Regulus to play with.

James is panting, short little puffs of breath, brimming with excitement and barely refraining from whimpering on the way out each time.

Predictably, he breaks once Regulus lazily swirls a tongue around his exposed nipple, holding the eye contact and watching with satisfaction as James’ eyelids flutter. He can’t help but grin, nipping at the hardened nub before he retreats, settling himself comfortably between James’ thighs and without warning diving right in.

James positively screams the moment Regulus closes his lips around his cock, sucking him into his mouth and rolling him around between his lips until the bucking of his hips throws him off. Regulus hoists an arm over James’ hips, belting him down, and wastes no time inserting one finger into James’ searing wetness, sinfully hot inside.

“Ahh yesyes, please more, love, please m-hah—” James babbles, throwing his head back when Regulus drives into him with another finger, crooking them upwards and watching shamelessly as his husband’s precum pools all over his digits before diving back in to lick at his little cock. 

He works them steadily up to each finger until he is four in deep, repeatedly hitting that spot inside of James and sucking and mouthing at the bundle of nerves until James’ noises grow an edge.

“You gonna cum for me, baby?” Regulus asks, muffled between licks, jaw aching slightly.

“Yeah, yeah, gonna– hnng,” James breaks off, screwing his eyes shut when Regulus gives a particularly harsh suck, noises obscenely loud.

He’s fisting the cushions like his life depends on it, white knuckling them in his grip, and it only takes a handful more thrusts and licks before James is shuddering through his first orgasm. Breaths coming quicker until he eventually breaks off into a keen, thighs quivering around Regulus’ head, squeezing at his skull and riding it out, grinding his cunt uncoordinatedly forward into Regulus’ face all the while convulsing around his fingers.

He squeezes in waves of pleasure and it makes Regulus so delirious that he blinks and the next thing he knows is him kneeling against James’ ass, belt undone, slacks shoved down just enough and prodding at his slick, puffy entrance with the head of his cock.

James is staring unblinkingly at the ceiling, mouth agape and pupils so dilated they’ve swallowed most of the beautiful, dark chocolate brown.

“Baby,” Regulus prompts, bending James’ knees towards his ears with a grunt, “Jamie, be a good boy and hold these there for me.” His husband slowly blinks him back into focus, silently obliging and hooking his fingers into the bend of his knees—thank the higher powers James still does yoga once a week.

Regulus leans in, one hand holding him up off the couch, the other fisting around the length of him and smearing it through James’ wetness, “Now are you going to be able to be good and keep yourself wide open for me or are you already fucked too stupid, huh? An old man? Maybe we should postpone it for next year, ay papi, what do you say?”

James whines pathetically, rubbing his head into one of the throw pillows, knotting his black hair up even more before he swallows frantically, “No, Reg, pleaseplease, I can take it. Please, love, I’m gonna be good for you, I prom–Aah—”

Regulus bottoms out in one smooth thrust, vision dotting with black spots at the mind bending heat and vice grip James has on him, already pulsing around him shallowly.

He grants James a moment to get used to being full, slowly rocking his hips back and forth and listening for when his whimpers turn into soft moans, turning needy again, and then he reaches up to grip his chin, “Then take it, slut.”

The pace he picks up into is hard, not too fast but unforgiving and steady, a sure way to drive James crazy. Regulus nips his way along his husband’s chest, nuzzling his nose through chest hair and biting and licking at his dark nipples, tasting salt and sweat, feeling his cock twitch at the taste deep inside his husband.

When Regulus feels himself lose rhythm he hikes James’ legs impossibly higher, draping one of them over his shoulder before he starts spanking him again. The angle is awkward but it’s working, going off of the way James keeps jerking at the stinging contact, clenching around the length of Regulus and working himself into a frenzy, gasping and whimpering and groaning like he’s getting the best cock of his entire life. 

“Touch yourself, baby,” Regulus demands, breath stuttering as he watches a fat tear roll down the side of James’ face, disappearing into the shorter hair at his temple.

Regulus keeps James’ thighs wide and open, rolling his hips with abandon, groaning and panting with every thrust, feeling sweat bead on his forehead and desperately trying not to lose control when James snakes a hand between his legs, frantically circling his cock while Regulus keeps pumping in and out of him.

“If you could only see yourself, baby,” Regulus grits out, “Fucking masterpiece, splayed out for me like this. Obliging my every demand, so fucking good, baby.”

James moans happily, tongue lolling out and without thinking Regulus sticks two of his fingers into his mouth, rubbing over his tongue and feeling the saliva coat them thickly.

“Can you go ahead and cum for me again, Jamie?”

James whines an affirmative around his digits, slurping messily, a trickle of drool trailing down the corner off his mouth.

“Think you’ll be a good boy and squirt all over me, baby? You know how much I love when you cum like that, hm?”

James breath hitches impossibly, eyes threatening to flutter shut as he nods deliriously.

Regulus quickly grabs him by the jaw, “Keep looking at me, James. I know you can do that for me, baby.”

And so he does.

On the next thrust James starts quivering again, fingers working furiously over his cock, mouth falling open around a silent scream and gazing Regulus right in the eyes as he pounds into him and James squirts around him. Spraying everywhere, absolutely in all directions and fucking messy, wetting Regulus’ torso and the couch—Regulus wouldn’t be surprised if the carpet wasn’t unscathed either.

That’s really all Regulus can take before his hips stutter in their pace and he buries himself deep inside James, letting the pulsing of his husband’s orgasm milk him dry as he spills and spills his cum into James for what feels like minutes on end.

At some point James lets his trembling legs back down, crossing his ankles tightly under Regulus’ bum as this one keeps jerking into his husband’s hole.

Once they’re both done Regulus is too exhausted to do anything else but collapse forward into James’ chest which he accepts with a happy hum.

They take a few minutes like this, James slowly coming to and starting to play with the curls at Regulus’ nape and Regulus breathing in the comforting scent of James, raking his short nails up and down the side of his ribcage.

After a while James presses a feebly kiss into the side of Regulus’ head, huffing out a big breath that makes Regulus rise with the motion of his chest before he snickers, “Well, happy fucking birthday to me.”

Regulus chuckles into the crook of James’ neck, dropping a kiss there before lifting and staring into his husband’s droopy eyes, “Yeah, happy fucking birthday to you, baby.”

[siriusstardust]

im literally writing a jegulus oneshot in the middle of my maths class instead of revising for my alevels which start in less than two months

oh the thrill of the double life

[wolvesandshine]

Sirius leaves the house at odd times.

With no explanation.

Remus knows it’s not order business - he’s the one on a secret mission from Dumbledore after all.

And he tried confronting Sirius about it but well, they always ended up in the same argument with Sirius asking what he was up to.

And he couldn’t very well say he was working under Greyback cause he knew for a fact Sirius would storm in and murder everyone.

He wouldn’t be opposed to it if not for that fact that he knew that his work was important.

Meaningful.

But that still didn’t explain Sirius’s behaviour.

He thinks Sirius might be cheating on him - if not for the fact that he knew Sirius loved him more than possibly anyone else ever can.

So that only left one thing didn’t it?

Sirius was the spy.

And that’s the beginning of the end of the marauders.

In the end, Remus never quite finds out where exactly Sirius had been disappearing off to.

He never finds out that Sirius was searching for the ghost of someone - holding onto the hope that they escaped, that they’re still alive cause he was never meant to outlive his younger brother.

In the end, Sirius never finds his answer either cause he dies before the note is found.

[curiouslymyown]

i rarely post my writing, but surprise! 578 words, jegulus, fluff?

Regulus hated people getting too close to him and flinched at even the slightest brush of somebody’s body against his.

Growing up in Grimmauld Place, things like that were never his choice. There were forced hugs from distant relatives he had never heard of. Cold hands placed on his shoulder, sharp nails digging into his skin. Bruising grips on his waist and thighs when he said something out of turn. It didn’t matter what he was doing, or where he was, someone was always holding him down.

When he started Hogwarts, people quickly learnt that getting too close to Regulus Black was an easy way to get yourself hexed. Even accidentally brushing your shoulder against his in the halls wouldn’t end well. There was only one person that didn’t make him recoil if he got too close, and that was Sirius. But even then it was a rare occasion and only ever on his terms. Sirius never pushed, he understood what it was like growing up how they did.

Then James started showing up. It wasn’t much at first, just a few flirty comments, a wink and a smile as bright as the boy wearing it. Regulus wasn’t an idiot, he knew James liked him, but he also knew he couldn’t give James the relationship that he wanted, so he forced himself to act disinterested.

Even as months past, James never stopped with his attempts at romancing Regulus, ranging from a simple, “hey, gorgeous,” in passing through the halls, to waiting outside one of his potions lessons, holding a single rose. It was when he did something so ridiculous and so beautifully James that Regulus found his walls slowly breaking down. As time went on, it was getting harder and harder to rebuild those walls, so Regulus began to avoid James completely.

It was going well, until one morning, when Regulus was walking to breakfast, he somehow found himself alone in a corridor with him. He tried to leave, hoping that he had gone unnoticed, but as he was turning around, ready to go back to his dorm and skip breakfast altogether, a hand wrapped itself around his wrist.

That was all it took for him to be back at that house, seven years old and a heavy hand unwavering on his arm. Nine years old, harsh fingers gripping his shoulders. Eleven years old, and nails piercing through his skin. Touching, always touching, holding him down, clawing at him, dragging him, deeper and deeper into somewhere he can’t escape from-

“Reg, please,” a voice so softly spoken, bringing him back, “please, don’t run from me.”

Regulus turned around, not looking up at the boy, but instead focusing on the hand now placed gently in his. After the immediate panic had settled, Regulus found that this was nothing like what he was used to. It was warm, and light, and it wasn’t forced. He could easily let go, and they would no longer be touching, their arms falling to their sides, but Regulus didn’t want to. He liked the weight of James’ hand in his, and it was this that made him grip his hand a little tighter, finally looking up at the older boy.

“Okay.” Barely a whisper, his walls rapidly crashing around him.

“Okay?”

“Okay, James,” Regulus could hear his heart though his chest., “I won’t run.”

The smile that followed, Regulus could only hope he was responsible for more of something so beautiful in the future.

[ecstarry]

One Shots Masterlist

Dare to Stay - Jegulus - T - 5.1k

The only thing that could make Regulus return to England after winning the war eight years ago, was Draco. What he never expected was to be faced with the unresolved feelings he had for his nephew’s Quidditch coach: James Potter.

Final Match - Jegulus - E - 3.7k

On his fourth day at the Olympic Villa, James finally decided to talk to the one athlete he couldn’t stop thinking about: Regulus Black.

Dearly Departed - Rosekiller - E - 1.6k

Rosekiller funeral meet cute

In the Light - Jegulus - G - 1.1k

James has been nursing a crush on Regulus for years and is determined to make this Chrsitmas the perfect night to confess his feelings.

Come Get Me - Jegulus - M - 1k

“How did you know where I was?” James asked as Regulus grabbed his arm and walked him towards the exit of the bar. “Doesn’t matter. Did you drive here?” James flashed his keys and Regulus snapped it out of his hand. “You’re unbelievable,” he mumbled. “Look at you still caring for me.” A grin spread across James’ face.

Parallelos - Jegulus/Drarry - G - 2k

After ten years married to James, Regulus faces a new challenge as Harry reveals to him an unexpected crush.

The Gift - Wolfstar - G - 1.1k

Remus tilted his head, but before he could ask anything, Sirius continued. “Is there space for one more?” he whispered, almost in a plea. Remus nodded slowly and opened his arm to make space on the rocking chair for Sirius. His husband comfortably settled on his lap and Remus held his entire universe between his arms.

Closer - Jegulus - E - 1.3k

James has been avoiding Regulus all day after he had a sex dream, his confession rewards him with something even better that he could ever had dreamed off. A first kiss that turns into something more.

Invisible String - Jegulus - T - 3.9k

James keeps going back to the bookstore to talk to Regulus, the cute employee, unaware that Regulus does not work there and only keeps coming back each day to talk to him too.

Spring Break - Jegulus - M - 2.1k

James is willing to do anything to get Regulus' attention, including, participating on a wet t-shirt contest where Regulus will be the judge.

Mine - Jegulus - M - 3.5k

James Potter is in love with Regulus Black. Regulus doesn't mind. Not one bit.

Home - Jegulus - E - 1.5k

Regulus, who has been waiting three years to fuck James Potter is moving in with him. Unaware, that James has been wanting the same thing for just as long.

Made for Me - Jegulus - M - 1.8k

"James?" Regulus gazed at him, utterly bewildered. What on earth was James Potter doing standing outside his door on Valentine's Day, holding an actual bouquet of flowers? "Yeah, that's us," James and Regulus turned at the sound of Barty and Evan's voices, each arching a brow, silently urging them to explain. "We signed you up for the Uni's matchmaking program. My guess is that you got matched with Potter." "YOU DID WHAT!?" Regulus snapped.

[kawaiibarty]

unedited jegulus oneshot at exactly 1,4k words based on this insta post (please check out the artist they're so cool) the ending is so rushed because i cba 😭😭😭😭😭

Saying that Regulus wasn't used to this would be one of the greatest understatements he'd ever make, and given his past, well that says a lot.

It happened when he and James were in the library, and where Regulus was meant to be studying, he'd found himself staring at the other boy intently. He couldn't help it, anyway. The boy that was usually loud, chatting non-stop to ensure that Regulus was painfully aware of his presence now sat with his nose buried deep in a book he'd chosen from the shelf at random. Except he hadn't turned the page in about seven full minutes and Regulus was beginning to feel weirdly irritated by the fact that James hadn't said anything since he'd asked to join him (which would be a groundbreaking first).

“Good book?” He finally asked, and James jerked, clutching the book towards him as if it would run away. Regulus frowned at the startled ‘deer-in-headlights’ look on the other boy's face.

“Uh, yeah?” James said, cheeks turning pink, and he must have noticed the vaguely irritated way Regulus watched him because he stared back at the open book. He gestured to it rather weakly and said, “Very interesting. Yes.”

“So tell me what it's about.”

James balked, looking rather stupid with his mouth hanging open. Regulus sighed, running a hand through his hair, cursing himself mentally as he asked “Potter, are you okay? And don't give me that look, I'm just as surprised as you are that I care.”

James' blush spread to his ears and he shook his head, then nodded and when Regulus sighed again he shrugged, defeated.

“If I wasn't, there's not much you could do to help anyway.” James said, looking back at the book, trying his best to feign nonchalance but Regulus wasn't stupid. He reached forward, pulling the book away from James.

“Hey, that's not fair.” James grumbled indignantly but made no move to take it back.

“Come on, Potter. You force shit out of me the same way, have a taste of your own medicine.”

James worried his lip, looking down at the table, “I told you. You can't do anything about it. It's stupid.”

Regulus groaned, sitting all the way back in his chair.

“Potter, between you and I, I sort of actually care about you, okay? Seriously, if you have something that's bothering you,” he caught James’ eyes, finishing weakly under the curious scrutiny, “you can tell me...”

Silence dragged and Regulus wondered if he'd pushed too hard. The golden boy of Gryffindor tower looked as though he hadn't slept for days and Regulus told himself that he was right to ask, after all James’ eyes were far too tired for someone who is usually smiling at everything.

Regulus opened his mouth, then closed it. An overwhelming urge to bundle the other boy up in a giant blanket and stroke his hair until he fell asleep washed over him. He cringed, attempting to shake the thought out of his head and promptly failed when he turned his eyes back to James. The Gryffindor looked pathetic and he wanted to kiss him square on the forehead. He couldn't stop himself, Regulus let his mouth betray him. Just this once.

“I could hug you, if that's what you want.” As James laughed, Regulus thought that the betrayal was worth it. It was small but it was something.

“Did you mean to say that out loud, Reggie?” a tinge of humour, almost entirely sincere.

“Hm, maybe. What gave it away?”

James perked up slightly, head tilted to the side in that curious way of his, “I'm pretty sure that when you don't like a thought you've made you screw your face up and all. You do it a lot anyway.”

Regulus scoffed, a little embarrassed “No, that's ridiculous. What's wrong with you? You've never turned down a hug before, anyway”

“Real smooth subject change, and I never did turn it down. I just—” James smiled a little bashfully this time, fingers picking at the edge of the table, “— uhm, it's really nothing. I, uhm…”

Regulus mused that he must have sighed a million times by then. He rolled his eyes, palms smacking against the table.

“You're frustrating me.”

James mimicked him, “You're frustrating me.” He punctuated it with an exaggerated pout, slamming his hands on the table and flinching at the noise. Stupid Potter.

“Okay, so you want to be hugged?” Regulus would be lying if he said he'd feel disappointed if the hug was properly rejected, but he kept his face as neutral as possible.

James hid himself behind his hands, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses, “Yeaaah, I guess.”

“Ugh, what do you mean, ‘I guess’? It's either yes or no.”

“I'm like,” James reached out to thin air, waving his hands in little circles and Regulus would've found it endearing if he wasn't itching with mild irritation, “I don't know? Like, uhm…”

“Merlin's fucking beard, Potter. Spit. It. Out.”

“You're so tiny!” James screwed his face up, shaking his head.

“What? I am not.” Regulus didn't bother with being embarrassed by how defiant he sounded because James Bloody Potter calling him tiny was not something he wanted to hear after being picked on by Barty and Sirius for his height every time he breathed.

“I mean, like—” he gestured to Regulus, then to himself and when it seemed words failed him he groaned, hands coming back to his eyes.

“I hug you right?”

Regulus squinted at him, “Uh huh…” every word that James sputtered out concerned him more but he let the other boy speak. He wanted to hear everything.

“And then, uhm, yeah it's like,” James gestured stupidly again, “I hug you, and you can, you know? Lay your head on my chest.”

Understanding dawned on Regulus, he smiled, then caught himself and schooled his expression as best as he could. Pointless, considering James had already noticed and the Gryffindor’s face was redder than Regulus had had the privilege of seeing. He looked dumb. In a cute way.

“You're scrunching your face up again.” James mumbled.

“So you want to feel smaller than me when you're being hugged?”

There was a moment of Regulus waiting expectantly for a vacant James to answer and when he didn't, Regulus nodded, feeling his cheeks heat up as he stood, pulling a stool away from the bookshelf behind them.

“I'll take that as a yes, then.”

Regulus stood on the stool, arms held open.

“What are you—”

“I'm not waiting all day, Potter.”

“I didn't take you for a jokester.” James said, something vulnerable in his voice caused Regulus' heart to stutter in his chest.

“I'm not. Now come on, before someone sees me standing here like an imbecile.”

Slowly, James stood too. He looked everywhere but at Regulus, inching forward like a little kid afraid of tripping over something.

“James. It's fine.” Regulus’ attempt at sounding genuine must have worked because as soon as he'd said that, James' forehead was touching his chest. Regulus cautiously wrapped his arms around the boy, feeling arms snake around him at the same time.

James sighed, breath hitching a little. They stood like that for a bit, Regulus praying to whatever muggle god was out there to mute his racing heartbeat.

“So…are you okay, Potter?” he asked as a distraction.

Fists clenched into Regulus' shirt, another little sigh. A little bit like a hiccup. Regulus’ heart did that jumpy thing again.

“Potter, I asked—”

“Say it again.” muffled and softer than Regulus had heard James speak in his entire schooling career at Hogwarts. A lot of firsts for one day, it started to make Regulus dizzy.

“Are you okay, Potter?”

James shook his head defiantly, probably messing up Regulus’ shirt and tie in the process, “Nah uh.”

Regulus fought a tired groan from escaping, gritting his teeth he managed; “Use your words, you baby.”

“My name.”

"I did—" Oh.

Oh. Regulus was properly blushing now.

“Oh, uh. James, are you okay?” he whispered, knees weak with embarrassment.

James' grip relaxed and he pulled himself away gently, looking up at Regulus. A dopey smile plastered on his face, eyes a little watery.

“Yeah, I think I'm good.”

“Okay.”

Regulus really, honest to Merlin could not stop himself this time as he leant forward, kissing James on the forehead.

He was stupid. In a cute way. So it's fine.

[lexithwrites]

— I don’t want to hold you back from where you might belong. (Part two)

decided to carry this on since everyone was so so sweet about the original oneshot<3 ALSO part one is hereeee

Having James stay with them had very quickly turned into James living with them, and Regulus was starting to lose his mind.

The Black Brothers didn’t have a spare bedroom when they moved in. The little room beside Sirius’ had been made into an office/laundry room/bits-and-pieces-that-had-no-other-home room. And it was too small for a double bed so they never bothered with it, until James started to stay. One day had turned into three, which turned into a week, and that eventually led them to picking up a single bed from IKEA in Remus’ car that Regulus thought looked a bit like a child’s bed.

“You’re always so negative,” Sirius grunted as he and James held the huge, flat pack box above their heads and ever so slowly made their way up the stairs. “He’s moving in, so shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything bad about him moving in. I just said that his feet are going to dangle off the edge of that ages four and up bed.” Regulus muttered from the landing, leaning against the bannister as he sipped his matcha. That was the only promise capable of making him come along that morning, that Sirius would get him Starbucks. In reality, Regulus really liked being around James.

It was actually very pathetic and Regulus knew that. He didn’t have to actually talk to James to enjoy himself, he just followed him around like a puppy and occasionally grunted when he was asked his opinion. Sirius had taken over most of the day; he insisted that he had an eye for interior design. Both Remus and Regulus decided not to bring up the current state of his bedroom, or the mountain of dirty clothes piling up that had mostly certainly developed enough bacteria to come alive by now.

Regulus watched the boys huff and puff up the stairs before dragging the box into the now empty bedroom, and then looked over at Remus who trudged up behind them with his cane.

“Would you like tea?” Regulus offered.

“No,” Remus smiled softly at him, “thank you.”

“What is it with you and tea?” James panted, pulling up his shirt to wipe his sweaty face. He looked sinful, and Regulus ignored the urge inside his brain to lick his chest.

“It’s polite, and Remus is a guest.”

“Not everyone wants tea.”

“You did.” Regulus felt his neck heat up when James looked at him, both of them thinking about the night he showed up at their door. Remus raised his eyebrows but didn’t say anything, just wandered into the bedroom to help Sirius as he grumbled about IKEA packaging their items stupidly. “Is that bed going to fit?”

“Yes, Regulus.” Sirius mumbled, tearing open the box and making Remus wince because: “sweetheart, we can’t return it if you ruin the box.”

“Are you sure? It looks too wide.”

“I’m very sure, we measured it.”

“I don’t think it’ll fit.”

“For fuck sake, it’s gonna fit!”

It didn’t fit.

It was slightly too wide for the door to properly shut, meaning James’ bedroom would always be on show through the crack in the door. Sirius was at his wits end by late afternoon and stormed outside for a ‘well earned’ cigarette with Remus, who was petting his hair and saying how handsome and strong he looked whilst building furniture. It seemed to calm him down enough not to kick over a second garden chair, at least.

Inside, Regulus was curled up on the sofa with Luffy—a tabby that he picked up off the street the day after they moved in. He followed him home from the corner shop and Regulus didn’t think twice about letting him inside, even though Sirius nearly went mental and made his brother bathe him at least three times. Sirius and Luffy decided they were mortal enemies that day—and reading a book when James decided to bother him.

He’d showered after they finished his room, and had been singing Mariah Carey very loudly; Regulus had been intently listening even if James couldn’t carry a tune. It was endearing. But now, he was stood in the kitchen doorway with grey joggers on, no shirt, and a towel wrapped around his shoulders. He looked like a tanned god and Regulus absolutely loathed him for it. He was still glistening from the shower and water droplets were trickling down his back, and Regulus wondered how strong he would feel if he were to run his hands over his shoulder blades and down towards his—

“What are you reading?” Regulus jumped and Luffy meowed himself awake, upset that he had been jostled.

“It’s…called the pumpkin spice cafe.” Regulus replied, suddenly realising that he was eye level with James’ stomach. Christ.

“Isn’t that a smutty book?” James grinned. “Pretty sure Mary has it. How graphic are the sex scenes?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t got that far.” He lied.

“Liar, bet you have.” James was grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

“Why do you care?”

“I can’t imagine you reading about sex. Or…having sex in general.”

Hurtful. “Good. You’d be a pervert if you did.” He said, turning a page he hadn’t even read yet whilst wishing James would think about him having sex. “My brother would punch you.”

“Sirius would never.”

“He might.”

“There’s nothing I could do to make Sirius mad at me, Reg. Nothing.”

Being with me would.

“That sounds like you’re challenging yourself.” Luffy started to purr in Regulus’ lap and rolled over onto his back to show off his tummy to James, tilting his head and swishing his tail. Traitor. Cooing, James reached down and stroked him…which meant he was leaning so close to Regulus now that he could smell his shampoo.

Apple. Raspberry. God, why does he have to smell this good?

Regulus felt his mouth go dry as he stared at James almost putting his face into his lap just to pet Luffy, and he swallowed. He wanted to pet James, he realised. Touch his hair and tangle his fingers in it, maybe tug it so he’d look at him again with those gorgeous brown eyes, watch the way his lips parted in a gasp, hearing his breath hitch, his hand going to his waist—

“Oh my god, where is he putting his fingers!?” James cackled, pointing to the book. Regulus looked down and read the lines he was focused on and went red. He’d accidentally turned to a smutty chapter.

This day truly couldn’t get any worse.

[wolf-star-chaser12]

Little Notes

| Little Notes - word count: 2874 - jegulus/starchaser oneshot

no warnings |

James knew he should give the book back to Regulus, but the sticky notes inside made it almost impossible. When he opened the book to see whose it was, he didn’t expect to see several sticky notes with Regulus’ handwriting inside. 

James meant to give it back right away, he did, but the sarcastic comments and responses to the boring history book made it automatically interesting. It didn’t help that James also had a slightly massive crush on the book’s owner. 

James wanted to know everything about Regulus, Sirius was only so much help after all. He felt guilty, reading the first few notes. It felt like he was trespassing on something private even if it were only witty remarks as to why people throughout history were stupid and what they could have done better. But if he wanted to know Regulus better, there was nothing more intimate than knowing one’s thoughts.

James' curiosity overpowered his guilt. So he spent the next hour reading through the boring history book, only made better by Regulus’ remarks. At first, it was just chuckling and little huffs of laughter, but then it grew louder and louder. After three warnings to keep quiet by Madame Pince, he was finally kicked out of the library for laughing too hard and loud.

James walked up to the Gryffindor tower, wiping away tears as he remembered the whole ass paragraph Regulus wrote on why Dumbledore was incompetent and could have easily been defeated by Grindlewald. James respected their headmaster, but Regulus had some pretty strong points as to why he wasn’t truly the strongest wizard.

The Marauder’s room was strangely quiet but a quick look at the map showed that Sirius and Remus were in the astronomy tower and Peter was in the greenhouse probably checking on his plants. Another quick look showed Regulus in his room with Crouch and the Rosier twins, along with Marlene’s girlfriend, Dorcas.

James smiled as he thought of their little group, he always wondered how they managed to become friends with Pandora, but nobody could turn her away. Then again they probably didn’t need to since she was Rosier’s sister. But why Dorcas was friends with Crouch and Rosier remained a mystery. She insisted they were secretly soft and refused to let anyone know it, but she also admitted they were as insane as they appeared.

James was caught up in thoughts of Regulus and his friends, but mainly Regulus. He definitely needed to give the book back to him tomorrow. But he also wanted to know more about him. Just then, James had a brilliant idea. He would respond to each of the little comments, even the paragraph.

James spent the better part of two hours writing little responses on the sticky notes. At one point he wondered where Regulus got the sticky notes but then he quickly dismissed it thinking it wasn’t important. He was the most productive he had ever been, writing silly little responses to Regulus. If only he were this productive with his actual schoolwork. By the time he finished writing responses, Peter had already fallen asleep and Sirius and Remus stumbled in, hand in hand. 

“Prongs! You’re still awake? Don’t you have quidditch practice in four hours?” Sirius asked.

James looked at the clock that every dorm had— the only clocks that worked throughout the school, just so they could get up in time.

“Shit, I got carried away. But so do you, in case you forgot.”

Remus’ brows went up in surprise. “You’re doing homework? You? James Potter?”

“Yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes. He decided to go with it since he didn’t want anyone to know yet about his maybe not-so-little crush. James knew Sirius would be fine with it and support him, but things were still tense. After Regulus ran away with him, they were still trying to figure out how to be brothers again.

Thankfully the couple left him alone and he soon put away the book, falling deep asleep.

—

If James weren’t the captain of the quidditch team, he would strangle himself for making him get up so early. He wasn’t going to complain, it was worth it responding to all the little notes and getting an up-close look at Regulus’ mind.

James didn’t know when he would be able to see Regulus, at least not until dinner. Even then, he would probably be in the kitchens, away from everyone else. They didn’t have potions that day— Regulus was so smart he was in the seventh year’s class. James sighed as he thought about how smart Regulus was, how beautiful and deadly. It was his own fault when Sirius snuck up on him during the practice he was supposed to be leading.

“Okay, that’s it. Practice is over,” Sirius shouted. 

The team looked relieved to be dismissed even ten minutes earlier.

“You can’t do that,” James said in disbelief. 

“I can, I will, and I just did. Besides, you’ve hardly been leading practice today. Marlene is doing all the work.”

James felt a stab of guilt. Was he really so caught up in his thoughts of Regulus that he wasn’t able to focus on quidditch? Apparently so. He flew down with the rest of the team, hoping to avoid his best friend for a moment longer. 

“Not so fast.”

James grunted as he was pulled back hard by his quidditch jersey. He and Sirius stared at each other before James began to run his hands through his hair nervously.

Sirius sighed. “What happened?”

“What do you mean?”

Sirius punched James on the arm. “Don’t be dumb. What happened?”

“Noth– nothing happened I swear mate.”

Sirius glared at him. It was unnerving how much the Black brothers looked alike. They practically looked like twins, the only difference was their height, hair, and eyes. Not to mention the way they held themselves. But their glares could kill. Luckily for James, he was practically immune to the death glare.

Suddenly, Sirius’ eyes lit up with mischief and sheer joy. “You were thinking about someone, weren’t you?”

James grinned, unable to help it. 

Sirius gasped, “You weren’t doing homework last night were you?”

“Nope,” he continued smiling.

“What were you doing?”

James shrugged. “Eh, just writing.”

“Who is it?”

James' smile faltered then. Sirius wouldn’t be mad, but was it the right time? Regulus made him so happy with his mean comments and sarcastic responses. There had to be something wrong with James, but if there was nothing wrong with Regulus, then what was so wrong with loving him?

Oh. It wasn’t a slight crush. No, it was so much more wonderful than that. He, James Potter was in love with Regulus Black. As simple as that.

Sirius seemed to misunderstand James’ silence for something else when he pulled him in for a hug. James held him tight, not caring that it wasn’t something most boys did. But Sirius was his brother, he would gladly hug him any time.

“I won’t judge you, or be mad. You know that right?”

“I know. Just don’t know if it’s the right time to say anything.”

“That’s okay, you don’t have to. Do they make you happy?”

With no hesitation, James responded, “Yes.”

They pulled away from each other, and James’ hands were still on Sirius’ shoulders. “He makes me so happy, you have no idea.”

“Oh yeah?” Sirius said. 

“I’m just worried he doesn’t feel the same.”

“Well, if he doesn’t, it’s his loss.”

James grinned even wider. “If he doesn’t, I’ll woo him.”

They left the pitch and headed down for breakfast. James hoped he would see Regulus, even if it was in passing. James knew he and Regulus had a gap between classes around the same time, he would try to find him and give him back the book.

When the time came, James was buzzing with excitement. Just the thought of being able to talk with the beautiful boy made his heart soar. He knew he was cheesy and romantic, but that wouldn’t stop him. Looking at the map, Regulus seemed to be walking from Ancient Runes to the library. Much to James’ delight, he was alone.

He rushed through the halls, only slowing down whenever he saw a professor or prefect— even though he needn’t worry about prefects since he was Head Boy. James arrived shortly before Regulus did, which was perfect because he could say he had just found the book.

Regulus looked like a dream with his curls framing his pale face. He always looked perfect— at least that’s what James thought. Regulus walked up to the table where he left his book and looked confused for a second when he realised it was gone.

“Regulus,” James said breathlessly. “Hi.”

Regulus scowled but his ears turned slightly pink. “Where’s my book James.”

He called me James.

“Wher– oh! Here.” James handed him the book, trying not to show his nervousness. What if he didn’t like it? What if it made him mad? 

“James, why did you have my book?”

Regulus’ green and grey eyes were so pretty, James could get lost in them forever. “I just found it, I figured you didn’t want anyone to accidentally take it or put it away so I was going to give it to you but you just got here.” He was rambling and he knew it. But the boy in front of him made his mind melt like butter.

Regulus looked at the book suspiciously before saying, “Thanks.”

“Y-yeah.”

They stood there awkwardly for a few seconds. 

“Right, I’m leaving.” Regulus walked bruquely past James and out of the library. 

James was too dazed from counting Regulus’ freckles— he counted fourteen before he left. James wanted to feel a little disappointed at the interaction, but Regulus didn’t outright insult him or ignore him for once, so James was more than happy. He walked out of the library and to his next class with a lovesick expression.

—

Regulus didn’t immediately think there was anything off about the book. James seemed to be telling the truth so he wasn’t worried. He walked to his next class and met Pandora on the way.

“Did James give you the book yet?”

Regulus stopped and looked at her with a confused expression. “How did you know?”

“I know all sorts of things.”

“I know that,” he said exasperatedly. “But you know everyone’s secrets and little details. This wasn’t even a secret.”

Pandora giggled. “Of course it wasn’t a secret. I saw him take your book last night after he got kicked out my Madame Pince for laughing too loud. I was going to grab it myself but he got to it first.”

Wait what? “Last night?”

Pandora nodded. 

This instantly made Regulus suspicious of the book, but he wouldn’t be able to check it until he finished this last class. All throughout Transfiguration, Regulus’ thoughts kept straying to James and the book. Pandora said James was kicked out for laughing, but why was he laughing? Surely he wasn’t laughing at his notes, was he? 

“Panda?” he whispered, quietly enough so Professor McGonagall wouldn’t catch him.

“Yes?”

Regulus hesitated. “Why was James laughing last night?”

Pandora smiled sweetly, instantly knowing what Regulus was really asking. “Your little notes you always make.”

Regulus felt dread pool in his stomach.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “He wasn’t making fun of them, he kept muttering how funny you were and how smart too.”

Regulus felt a funny little flutter in his chest. He tried to concentrate on the rest of the lesson, but his thoughts were filled with James and his laugh. Oh, how he would give anything just to hear James laugh. The things he would do to be the one making him laugh. 

He was gone for James Potter, his brother’s best friend. 

There was no way someone like James would possibly like him. After all, he was only “Sirius’ little brother.” James would never see him any other way. Impossible.

Pandora leaned into him again. “Maybe when you stop blushing and daydreaming about him, you should open the book.”

If Regulus wasn’t blushing before, he sure was now.

As soon as Transfiguration finished, Regulus tried as subtly as possible to rush to his room. Judging by Pandora’s smile, he wasn’t that subtle to her.

When he got to his room, he noticed the curtains around Barty’s bed were spelled shut and there was a silencing charm around it. Thank Salazar, Regulus would kill Barty first and then Evan if they forgot it again.

Regulus closed his curtains but didn’t bother putting up a silencing spell. Opening the book, he had no idea what to expect, but it was not this— little notes under his little notes. Butterflies erupted all throughout his body and he knew he was sporting the biggest blush ever. He read through the notes like his life depended on it. James’ notes were variations of his if he had said something sarcastic. 

“Pathetic. I could do better.”

“Could you?”

“Honestly, I’ve never seen so little common sense from someone. There’s a reason history is documented just so people don’t repeat it.”

“Clearly this guy doesn’t understand that.”

“I could’ve done that in half the time and with less mess.”

“I would love to see that happen.”

“She left obvious traces. I wouldn’t have gotten caught.”

“She truly shouldn’t have left the gloves there.”

Some were actual notes that gave his opinion, meaning James took the time to read through the passage of a class he was no longer in, just to give his insight. It was the most adorable thing Regulus had seen. The giggle slipped past his lips before he blushed in embarrassment at the noise.

A dramatic gasp sounded from Barty’s bed. “Did you hear that Rosie?”

Regulus shoved the book under his pillow.

Evan pulled back Regulus’ curtains with delight. “It was actually Regulus.”

“Impossible,” Barty said.

“Bat, do you think someone is using polyjuice potion?”

“No one is dumb enough to sentence themselves to death by impersonating Reg.”

“I’m right here,” Regulus scowled.

“You just fucking giggled,” said Evan.

“Shut up,” he growled. Regulus shot them a glare that made them fidget from nervousness. 

Barty dropped it, surprisingly. “We’re about to go to dinner, you coming with us?”

Regulus sighed. “I’ll meet you there.”

They smiled and left the room. 

Regulus spelled his curtains shut and cast a silencing charm this time. He grabbed his pillow and screamed into it before dissolving into giggles. He put the pillow back and took a few breaths to regain his composure before heading to the Great Hall.

—

James swore he wasn’t stalking Regulus, maybe, but when he looked at the map and saw Regulus heading towards the Great Hall, James jumped up and nearly ran to intercept him. He didn’t know what he was going to do or say, but he would figure it out.

Turning the corner, he nearly tackled Regulus to the ground. The boys jumped back before either one could get hurt. Much to James’ delight, he noticed Regulus blush from his ears to his neck before he scowled.

“Do you ever pay attention?”

“To you, yes,” James smiled.

Regulus gaped and flushed a deeper red before he found his words. “You shouldn’t go through other people’s property.”

“Yes, well, it’s technically not yours but the library’s.”

Regulus raised his brow. “Why?”

“Why what?”

Regulus cleared his throat. “Why the notes?”

James hesitated. “Because… You never really talk to me— in fact, this is the longest conversation we’ve had. It felt like it was the only way I was going to talk with you.”

Regulus studied him carefully, visibly relaxing. “I’m not, I don’t.” He took a deep breath. “I’m not good at talking.”

“I know,” James smiled fondly. 

“Then why bother trying?”

“I want to get to know you, Reg.”

“But why?” he asked softly.

Forget wooing, James would just tell him. Maybe not that he was in love, but that he had feelings.

“I like you. As in, I fancy you and want to date you.”

Regulus stared at him with wide eyes. When he still hadn’t responded, James began to get nervous.

“I-I mean of course, if that’s something you’d like. I probably shouldn’t have sprung this on you since you don’t like talking about feelings or feelings in general. But I like you and I was planning on wooing you but then I thought it would be better to just tell you but you probably don’t like me back and I should’ve stuck with wooin–”

James’ rambling was cut off. Because Regulus Black kissed him. He was kissing Regulus Black. In the hall where anyone could walk by and see them. 

He was kissing Regulus.

“I’m not good at talking.” Regulus looked at James. Green and grey on hazel eyes. “But I can try to show you.”

“I’ll take anything and everything you have to give me.”

“It’s not very much, James.”

“It’s everything to me.”

“Even the little notes?”

“Even the little notes.”

James took Regulus to the kitchen for their first unofficial date. It might have taken them longer than necessary because James kept stopping to kiss Regulus.

[maybetheyredrunk]

tw: angst, self-harm, suicide attempts, death.

REGULUS BLACK

Regulus is heartbroken when James and Lily starts dating.

He doesn't realise why.

And then Remus is talking about Sirius, and saying similar things to what's in his head. "He makes me feel loved, and safe, and wanted. The way he laughs, the way he talks. That's why I love him." And that's when Regulus realises. Oh shit, maybe I love him. The way he smiles, the way he laughs, the way James is the sun to his sky.

James is oblivious for a while.

But then Lily realises she doesn't love James the way she feels like she should.

James and Lily break up, stay friends, and James realises he loves Regulus. The way he smiles, when James gets his attention, or he reads a book that he loves. The quietness. The way he bursts out with his opinions if he feels strongly about something. Regulus finally loving the person who he wants to, openly.

They go up to the Astronomy tower each Sunday, just talking. Each Sunday turns into twice a week. Twice a week into every other day. Every other day into every day. And they're so happy. And Sirius is all "You're dating my baby brother!" and "Brotherfucker." and "Ugh.", but inside he's so happy to see Regulus loving someone openly and fully. And Remus supports the both of them, and so does Peter, and Lily, and Dorcas, and Marlene.

Then Walburga and Orion make Regulus get the Dark Mark.

He's screaming, crying, begging them not to. "Please Mom, please Dad, I can't lose this." Throwing himself in front of them, trying to run away.

Him eventually realising: It doesn't work.

So he gets the Mark. Stays silent as the needle punctures his flesh over and over again.

And then runs to Hogwarts.

Regulus sobbing in the common room of Slytherin, arm swollen and bleeding as he tries to rip the ink out of his skin with his nails, held by an equally sad Evan and Barty.

Sobbing because he's going to lose his brother again, going to lose his friends, his boyfriend, because of ink that he didn't want.

Him trying to grab a knife, scissors. Evan and Barty have to restrain him and watch him constantly, making sure he doesn't carve out flesh from his bones.

So the Dark Mark is permanent.

And Regulus would rather see his boyfriend, the love of his life, not know him, rather than see James hate him for what he didn't want to become.

So he goes to the Astronomy tower after having ignored James for weeks. James didn't know why.

And he tells him. "I got the Mark." And shows him his arm.

And James' eyes widen.

And then - "Wait Reg-"

Regulus sobbing out one word, doubled over in pain, wishing he could go to James. One word.

"Obliviate."

And Regulus erases all of James' memories of him, he's powerful and precise enough to.

And James leaves the tower, confused as to why he went up there in the first place.

And Regulus is sobbing, tears running down his face, hair messed up, clutching at the railing of the tower, wishing he could get the mark away, would do anything. Anything to ease the pain.

He climbs onto the rail. Decides life isn't really worth living anymore, not without his sun. Evan and Barty see him, and run for him, and barely manage to catch him in time.

He makes three more attempts before realising he can't.

So he runs.

Runs so he doesn't have to see that James and Lily get back together, happy and oblivious. Lily's confused as to what happened to Regulus. Regulus who disappeared. Runs so he doesn't have to face Sirius, his disappointment and anger. Runs so Remus can't find him, his kind words and gentleness would make him unravel. Runs so none of his friends can follow. Barty and Evan search for a long time. But they never find him.

James is 18 when Regulus leaves. He's 17. Regulus dies the same year. Trying to make a difference. Regretting that he didn't earlier.

And as he lies on the cold hard ground of the island, Kreacher beside him, holding his stomach in pain from the liquid, but the Horcrux destroyed, he thinks. Of James. Of his smile. Of his laugh. Of his kisses. The way he lit up Regulus' world, because he was the sun to Regulus' sky, because Regulus needed James to be bright.

And he thinks. I'm sorry. He's left a note.

But he doesn't expect James to find it. Ever.

Regulus is 17 when he dies.

And he wishes that he had longer.

But even the brightest stars all fade.

thanks to @sweetmelodygraphics for the dividers!! Her work is amazing, please go check it out.

@into-the-jeggyverse @noblehouseofgay @my-castles-crumbling @reggie-the-starboy @ultravioletbrit @strawberrystainedfingertips7 @caiiius @iamgayforyourmom1510 @wh0re-for-w0lfstar

[vinylfoxbooks]

November 11 - Adore | @into-the-jeggyverse | wc: 1,055

“How did you know that you loved Remus?” Regulus hums, poking at his food. A part of him hates this, hates that they were ever put through a situation where they’re awkward just sitting on a couch together eating. He hates that they have to put in effort to bridge the gap and have a peaceful relationship. But hating it doesn’t mean he won’t try. 

Sirius hums, looking up at him from where he was intently watching his own food, “What do you mean?” 

“I mean you- you risked everything for Remus. You risked our parents for him, how did you know that was something you… how did you know that the sacrifice was worth it?”

It’s a while before Sirius pulls together a response, long enough that Regulus almost regrets asking, before he sharply inhales and puts his plate down on the coffee table. He moves so he’s sitting cross-legged facing Regulus, “As long as I’ve known him, even before we were dating, I knew there was something special about him. I didn’t… I didn’t know what it was at that point, and it took me a long time to learn that I could like boys, which he and James were the ones to teach me that, but there was something that was… pulling me to him. I always wanted to sit next to him, I always wanted to know his opinions on something that I liked, and I always wanted his approval.” 

He takes a couple seconds to take a sip of water, giving Regulus the time to put his own dishes on the coffee table, before he clears his throat again, “Then we started dating and… I don’t know, I don’t think I loved him when we first got together but then… I just spent time with him, we were going on dates, we were more open with each other and-” Sirius smiles softly, looking down at his lap, “I can’t explain how it feels, loving him. It’s… warm, and comforting, and a little scary because I don’t know how to let people love me… It starts in my chest and just… warms my body. Also it… it wasn’t like a dawning realisation, but more one of those things where he said something and I thought, ‘Merlin, I love him’ and that was that.” They’re both silent for a moment, and Regulus takes the time to watch over his brother’s expression and body language, he acts like he’s comfortable, and he has a sweet smile on his face that Regulus only saw for the first time when he saw his brother with Remus. 

And then he takes a second to look over at the previous night. James had come over to the flat to spend some time with Remus and Sirius, and they had managed to coerce him out of his room, which Sirius was greatly confused at. Then, at the end of the night, Remus and Sirius ‘tucked in’ for the night early, leaving James and Regulus alone. While not common, this did happen sometimes, and James was quick to splay themself out over the couch that they now had to themself and grab the remote from the coffee table to put on a random show that they’ve both watched before. 

And James had asked him a question, something stupid, like they usually do to get him more comfortable around them, get him talking. And then they’d laugh at something that they said and warmth would bloom in Regulus’ chest. And the two would talk and they’d joke and James would sometimes make comments on the show after lapsing into silence, usually a stupid comment that would get Regulus to insult them. And it was comfortable, and it was warm. 

Regulus shakes his head to distract himself from his thoughts, “And how did you know that leaving mum and dad for him would be… worth it?” This is dangerous territory, Regulus knows this. While they’re both getting better with conversations like this, a lot of the time they end up screaming at each other when they get on the topic of Sirius leaving.

Sirius seems to know this too, because he takes a second to think of his words before speaking, “It wasn’t just Remus. You and I both know that I could’ve run to his, but I went to the Potter’s. Because Effie and Monty and James, their house, made me feel that same comfortable, but scary, warmth. That was love, watching Effie and Monty dance in the kitchen was love. And I figured that… if I felt the same thing with Remus as I did watching Effie and Monty then, that meant Remus and I could be Effie and Monty, right?”

He shakes his head, “I was scared, I was so scared, but I just held that warmth close to my chest. I didn’t really know if it would be worth it, if Remus and I would stay together, but I believed that it could be.” 

Regulus nods after a couple seconds, “I think I know what you’re talking about.” 

“Do you?” Sirius looks shocked for a moment, “For someone in particular or?” 

“Maybe,” the younger says after a second or two, “It’s… it’s for James, maybe?” He furrows his brows, “But that could also be because I know what you’re talking about at the Potters’ house.” 

“James?” Sirius says after a beat of silence, “How long?”

“I don’t know…” he shakes his head, “James and I hang out when you and Remus leave and they…”

“They adore you.” Sirius smiles softly, reaching out and offering a hand, but not touching Regulus. He takes his brother’s hand. The older shakes his head, “I don’t know how they’d feel about me telling you that and I don’t know if it’s more than just James being really affectionate towards everyone but… I know that you’re special to them.” And his words make Regulus’ chest fill with a comforting warmth… he smiles softly and Sirius seems to know what that means, “Take your time with it.” And Regulus just nods, thinking back on all the nights that the two of them were left alone. On the way that Regulus had a weird obsession with James since they properly met. 

“Thank you, Siri.” 

At that, Sirius pulls Regulus into a hug, “Anytime, Reg.”

[watchtheprongss]

James Potter always wanted to be the perfect friend. The one who will always be there for his friends. So, when, his best friend, Sirius Black, his other half, showed up in this living room in the middle of the night of boxers' day, James potter was there to take care of him.

It had always been like this, the two of them, along with Remus and Peter, against the World.

After being disowned, Sirius was sure that his brother would hate him, James knew it couldn't be true but Sirius believed Regulus was just like them.

Until Regulus showed up.

It wasn't during the night as Sirius. No, Regulus had showed up at the crack of dawn. James had just woken up for his morning runs when he saw a figure approaching the gates of Potter Manor.

-

Euphemia Potter loved kids. Not only hers, but every kid she saw. She wanted them to be happy, and she was always ready to fight for their happiness.

So when Sirius had shown up, and a year later Regulus too, she gave them a home and a family. She tried her best to be there. Though it seemed James had already taken the role happily. She, of course, noticed how fast James and Regulus had gotten closer in the span of two months. She noticed how her son was able to just, calm down, when he was with Regulus. He was never as agitated with Regulus as he normally was. She didn't know if he knew that.

All she knew was that she was going to support all of her kids.

-

People at Hogwarts talked about the change in James, he didn't bully the Slytherins - or well, just Snivellus, really- nor did he pick any fights. The pranks were always a constant, but there was one thing that stood out amongst other things. James Potter was no longer going out of his way to impress Lily Evans.

Some thought it was another one of schemes, so some said that he's showing Evans how he has matured so that she would take him. Some even said that he had just simply moved on from her during the summer, or found another girl. It was only James who knew how it was all because of Regulus.

How his mere presence always calmed him, made him feel at peace. It was not about Lily Evans or any other girl. It was always about Regulus, and his eyes which always seemed to show more than his face ever did. It was Regulus, his sloppy curl that fell over his beautiful grey blueish eyes, and his smile. His smiles. His snarky remarks, his lovely voice. Just Regulus.

James knew, of course. He knew where his feelings were headed and he wanted- no. That wasn't right. That was not how it was supposed to go.

He was in Gryffindor, just like his dad. A quidditch captain, just like his dad. A Head boy, just like his dad. He was also supposed to marry his pretty, Hogwarts sweetheart, girlfriend, just like his dad. Regulus wasn't supposed to be in the picture. James was never supposed to fall for- no. It was going exactly as it should be.

Lily Evans had finally started to think of James as a human than a toerag. Wasn't that always the goal? To impress Lily, then why doesn't it feel complete to James? Why does it feel like a very important part is still missing from his life.

why

wasn't

it

enough?

It was Lily, who made the first move. Always the one to take the lead, she had asked him to a date in Hogsmeade. He said yes because , what else are you supposed to do? When your "dreamgirl" asks you out? So he did, and he did everything other thing you're supposed to do when a pretty girl is interested in you. They became the so called "Star couple" of Hogwarts. The Head boy and the Head girl, dating, in love, it was the epitome of cliche. But James wasn't, not really. It wasn't as if Lily didn't know, she knew that he loved her, really. Just, he was not in love with her, and she wasn't either. Maybe, she was getting there. It was hard for James to think of that.

It was the fall of 1979, when Frank and Alice got married. James had no idea what he was thinking when he asked Regulus if he wanted to go for a walk after the wedding, but Regulus was just so, so, so.. just.

Which is how they ended up walking in the woods a few hours later, talking.

"Sirius and Remus living together in Italy, Peter off to Asia, now that you've graduated, you'll be going to Paris and well, I'm not good like Lily so I'm grumpy," James said while walking down the path, not noticing the stiffening of Regulus' spine at the mention of Lily. He and Lily, they were on a break. Lily needed space to herself after her parents' death, to process everything without a relationship to handle. Everyone just thought they were over. Maybe James did too, maybe he wanted it to be true.

"You know," Regulus hesitated, "You don't have to stay here."

"Why?" James glanced at him, amusedly. "Are you saying I fuck off to some other country too?" Regulus looked at him, inhaling sharply, preparing to speak. James looks in his eyes, drowning with that one emotion. The one they aren't allowed to acknowledge. Immediately knowing what's about to happen, James started to shake his head.

"No." He choked out with tears welling up. "No, you- please don't. You don't get to do this, not now. Please"

"It's no use James, we've let it sit for too long. We've got to let it out..."

"No. no..."

"I've loved you ever since I knew what it was like to fall in love, James–"

"No, we don't have to–"

"I couldn't help it, Jamie. I couldn't– and you've been so good to me – I've tried to show it, to say it, but you wouldn't let me; now I'm going to make you hear and give me answer because I can't go one like this any longer." He glances at James to see him crying with his eyes closed, he was shaking his head.

"I've tried to save you from this – I thought- I thought you would understand," James said but Regulus went on, choosing to ignore him.

"I've hated myself or feeling like this, and I have worked so hard to make me worthy of you. I waited and waited and I never complained for I hoped you'd love me, thought I know I don't deserve you– I'm not half good enough–" James stopped him by moving forward, cupping his face with his hands.

"Yes, you are, you're a way too good for me; and I'm so grateful for you and–" James choked out as the tears returned to his eyes. They were both crying now, looking in each other's eyes– "God, Regulus, I'm so fucking proud of you, I don't understand how you don't see yourself the way i see you. I don't see why I... I can't love you as you want me to."

"You can't or you're too afraid to?" Regulus asked sharply, suddenly feeling the beast clawing at his heart.

"I can't change how I feel, Reggie. I'm sorry, I know- I know how unfair it is of me to say that– and just please, I- You're right, you know," James said, looking at him with heartbreak written across his face. "I am afraid, and you can't tell me that I have no reason to be."

Regulus backed away from him as if physically struck. "I can't love anyone else, Jamie." He cried softly.

"It would be a disaster, Regulus! We can't be – this. People are being killed for being like this, I– I can't do it." James didn't know what he was more afraid of; being in love with a boy or being in love with Regulus. All of the Gryffindor bravery in him had disappeared the moment he had realized– realized what exactly? That he was.. gay? No, but Lily... so gay-ish? Or that it was Regulus? The boy he was in love with?

"Just say yes, James Potter! Just say yes, that you love me because I know you fucking do. I've seen the way you look at me, James. I know that's not how you're supposed to look at your best friend's baby brother, so just fucking say it like the Gryffindor you are."

"I've tried to do that and I have failed. I can't say it truly, okay Regulus? I can't say that I will love you without fear so I will just no say it at all," He looked in his eyes, "And one day, Reggie? You'll see that I was right. You'll thank me for it–"

Regulus interrupted him angrily, "I'll be damned if I do!"

James continued without acknowledging him– "You'll find some lovely girl, who will love you and adore you, and make a fine wife for your fine house. I wouldn't. I'm- I'm a guy and when people will look at us as if we are freaks, you'll be ashamed of me, and we would quarrel– we can't help it, can we? Not even now! I'm loud and I'd hate those big ass bookshelves I know you're planning on getting and you'd hate my overbearing touches and we would be un--happy and wish we- wish we hadn't done this and- and everything will be awful!"

Regulus just nodded at him, glancing away and trying to go back up the hill "Anything else you want to add?'

"Nothing else just... I don't think I will ever marry," Because he doesn't. He thinks that maybe he and Lily will be together again, but he doesn't think that they will every marry. He doesn't think he even wants to be married, "I am happy as I am and I don't- I don't think I will ever love anyone the way I love y- the way- I don't think I will ever love someone enough to want to marry them."

Regulus has stopped walking now, staring him down with tear stained face with a sharp gleam in his eyes before he shook his head as if shaking himself out of his thoughts, "See, I think you will care for someone, and love them, and live and die for them, because that's who you are James. That's who you've always been. Maybe that'd be Lily, you now? I know you will, it's your way, and you will." He paused, looking him in the eye. "And I'll be there with you at every step."

"Reggie.. please," James whispers.

He straightens up and walks away. James cries and cries. His heart breaking and his body on fire. He feels lost, even though he is the one who broke both their hearts.

And well, Regulus was right, wasn't he?