#sysmate shattering

[starfilled-galaxy]

Please. Please we've run out of options. Please help us

Tips on how to force an alter to shatter?

[pt: Tips on how to force an alter to shatter?]

I know this is seen as morally wrong. It is our last resort. Please trust me on this. This alter has done horrible, horrible things and we can't just sit back and let him keep doing this stuff. We have tried being nice, we have tried convincing him to not do this, we have TRIED. Nothing works. Shattering is the only option

If you have no advice please at least try tagging or redirecting us to a plural help/advice blog who we could ask instead, or someone you think might have advice

Please

[Context that we forget to give sometimes, since some people don't know what this means: When we refer to an alter shattering, we mean shattering them into fragments that can be merged or disappear on their own, effectively removing the alter or at least separating the bad part into a fragment]

[c-infinity-83]

✨

HMMMMB let's seeeeee uhhjj how abt fun facts abt Vol tee hee

Fucker's almost shattered completely [read: nearly (temporarily)* died] about 4 times. Ve cracks from stress and ve's stressed Often.

Vol also Intentionally causes cracks and fractures on ves body though for mobility. Without certain cracks in places ve wouldn't be able to move at all. we heal any unwanted cracks though so like dw AJSKDJDKFJ

Ve glows when ve talks!! v soft glows usually but ve glows brighter the louder ve is :3c

Vol is one of our taller sysmates at about like 9 ft. Perfect height for Climbing Around On I think but I am Biased™

Vol's voice claim is this guy

-Electrochem

[ozzyfromthecafeteria]

i truly wish i knew Why we split and form so frequently but honestly. it just happens.

[tales-from-sysblr]

So I was very new to systems like a month or two ago, and when I wanted to explore it I started to act like I was multiple people at the same time. And it helped me understand that it really did make sense for me to be more than just one personality

But my dad saw this and completely fake claimed EVERYTHING, and since I love my dad I just forced myself to believe him, but I swear ever since I found a simple We/us pronoun I felt comfortable about it, from every and any little simple system post and seeing other’s talk in different ways, I swear it felt just me, yk?

And worst of all, I can’t even get my own accurate diagnosis, despite me having so much of the symptoms, my dad and mom refuse to even acknowledge if I have autism, or any other disorder/disability like depression and anxiety, ptsd/c-ptsd and so on..

But after a month of punishment because I made “mistakes” I kept my distance from anything and everything thats system/DID related, which TORE at me mentally, and one day I just gave up

I said to myself why should I listen to what people think of what I do?? I’m sick of it, especially when it’s STARTING TO HELP ME! I get it if anyone hate people who self diagnose as DID and such, but I’ll never allow myself to be this shattered ever. again.

I found one of my old system friends b4 dad took away my internet and such, and I told it that I was questioning again and I wanted sources and such, in which it did give me everything I needed

And I told myself to read, and I pushed myself to understand, even if I’ll forget it all, I knew that this made sense, and if it did, it was right

It’s been around a week and I met two new sysmates, Odie and Lyric, and we all finally feel comfortable and happy together, yes we had rocky starts but in the end we told ourselves that this is how we work, how we cope and how we survive the life that’s being thrown at us

Oof I think this turned into a vent.. my bad, but I hope you understand what I meant, hopefully

I'm glad you're finding yourself anon. Good luck with everything, and I'm sorry you had to go through all that.

[huddle-of-sinners]

♠♦ INTRO ♥♣

(divider by @/aquazero)

this is the system blog of @/russ14n-r0ul3tt3. collectively we go by condor or roulette, whichever one. we are a system of around 21 members. anti endos will not be tolerated; fuck off.

bodily we are a minor. maps/pedos and nsfw/kink blogs will be blocked.

as a system we identify as agender, cupioromantic, and asexual. we use it/its pronouns collectively- though the current fronter's pronouns are preferred.

some of our interests include bsd, epic: the musical, dsaf, wof, stephen king's works, general horror books, and the starflesh aesthetic.

we are mixed origin. this is all we will share about our origins for our own comfort. if we are close we may be willing to share them with you.

collectively we also practice witchcraft.

we use i/we and the terms headmate/alter/member/sysmate interchangably for ourselves.

tags :

; a crow's ramblings - host speaks

; queries from the stars - answered asks

; system reblogs - reblog tag

; scribbles in the dirt - art

; screams from the hellfire - vents

; shattering a lightbulb - misc.

every alter with have tags formatted similar to the host's posting tag (ex. ; fyodor's plots / ; chuuya barks / ; dazai whines / etc.)

userboxes below the cut. (divider by @/diviniyae)

[tsukioka-clusterfuck]

Ok I really wanted to talk about this more so (obviously, spoilers for Turning Red)

- Beast spirit that inhabits some girl’s body? Check. Said beast gives the host the ability to take its form? Check. These beasts are known as big powerful things? Check. It makes the host more impulsive and emotional in their beast form, and it comes with some of its own animal instincts? Check. It’s later accepted as a part of the host? All the checks!

- When Bowser first emerged, I was terrified. It felt like a wrecking ball shattering the idea of myself that I was already familiar with. If I have to list all the things I feared at that time, I’d be here all day. Even to this day, I still have the urge to hide and distance myself from my own sysmates just like when Mei first turned into a red panda. I got better, but still, that’s a recent development. But regardless, I know deep down that whether I like it or not, he’s a part of me, and working on separation doesn’t sound good to me. That’s why, even with all the pain I had to endure, I still think it’s better for me to work on accepting that part of me.

- Mei’s transformations are of the “poof” type, mine is usually gradual like an average werewolf, though instant changes can happen rarely (without the poof effects). Interestingly enough, Bowser’s form changes are of the “engulfed in bright light” type, kinda like when a Pokemon is evolving.

- Mei seems to have an easier time changing forms compared to me. I very recently gained the ability to voluntarily transform, but the involuntary form changes still happen, and I still can’t hold those off for too long.

- Anyone who has the red panda spirit in them would have their hair turn red, showing how its presence still influences its host’s form even when it’s not out. In my case, my human form usually still keeps Bowser’s horns, tail, and claws. I could theoretically hide those, but at this point it wouldn’t be easy. Plus, I got used to having them and I don’t have much problem with these minor changes.

Overall, I find the movie relatable for all the “wrong” reasons and I love it

Just watched Turning Red, the least relatable part is the attraction to men/boys and the most relatable part is the shapeshifter struggle

- Kogane Tsukioka ⚔️ (she/plural they)

[system-of-a-feather]

Ignoring the discourse, I just wanted to ramble on parts language and our feelings to it as someone who mainly uses it - but honestly "parts" is our preferred term by a long way save for alter when we are talking about things in a more clinical sense.

Personally for us, headmate, sysmate, and similar "roommate" kind of terms actually feel diminishing to the dynamic we have with one another. Headmate and similar terms draw parallels to roommates housemates, aka someone you share a space with - and I totally understand the draw to those terms for those that like to emphasize the individuality of the parts, but personally to call our relationship to one another something similar to people who just share a body / brain / mind / system etc really feels a bit... downplaying the importance we have to one another and the unique dynamic that comes from being parts of a whole.

XIV, Ray, Lucille, Aderis, all the parts in our system feel far more intimate, personal, and tighter bonds than anything like a housemate or a roommate or "someone I am sharing X with" could possibly reach. By nature we all compliment each other and were literally created to support, bolster, accentuate, and cover for one another.

/Separate people in different bodies are not so genuinely and thoroughly made to exist in synergy with one another the same way alters and parts are. Separate people in different bodies, no matter how close and how far back they go, are never going to be as deeply tied with one another the same way parts are / can be - and if they DO - 9/10 times it is likely super codependent and unhealthy where as with alters that tends to be an ideal.

Of course this depends on how you define "separate people" and all so its not a "well I am RIGHT" cause its how we perceive things and the main point in our perception is that to draw parallels to existences of two 'separate people' sharing a space together honestly just... extremely downplays how intrinsically made for one another we are. My relationship with my parts goes deeper than any two people who share a space could ever go because we were literally MADE for one another. It's impossible to compliment me and support me more than the parts in my system because they ARE LITERALLY my other halves.

So headmate and sysmate just.... always feel really downplaying to what we are.

Alters we are okay and chill with, but it honestly feels both sensationalized and very.... artificial for a lack of better words. Using the word "alter" tends to draw my mind to the more fictional media depictions OR solely to minimizing parts to the clinical expression to which it feels a bit dehumanizing - so unless its for convenient shared language or for clinical / just factual references - we tend to prefer parts.

Parts on the other hand really acknowledges just how intrinsically connected and made for one another we are. We really don't think it diminishes our individuality at all (though that might just be because we are decently far in our healing journey that we can simultaneously hold the idea of 'we are parts of a whole' and 'we are valid as individuals with our experiences and can exist and acknowledge ourselves and one another like individuals' very easily together at the same time) or imply anything about us being broken or shattered or anything.

If anything, parts language reminds me that there IS others out there that are there to fill in the gaps in life that I can't do. It reminds me that I am not in this alone and that I'm not SUPPOSED to be in this alone. I am a whole person, but I am not the whole picture and I don't have to try to be the whole picture because one puzzle piece while beautiful on its own - often works many times better when connected with the others.

I dunno, parts language is just a really really positive and healing thing for us. We love it and while we understand it not being for everyone, it means A LOT to us and really nothing negative.

My parts are made FOR me just as I am made FOR my parts. We are literally MADE for one another because we are PARTS of a whole that are MEANT to work with one another and I think that is really beautiful honestly.

[c-infinity-83]

even more let's go

ticky tacky back when they were a pokemon oc and went by Rosey. I actually split off of them sysmate-wise! Back then since our OCs were tied to the system so much, if a sysmate went dormant/integrated (in the case of the many oc-sysmate fragments we had over those few years) then we just. Couldn't use that oc anymore. But in some cases one would go dormant and return and try to fight and claw their way back into the system which took a physical toll on them bc our brain wanted them To Go The FUCK To Bed. Thus explains the scarring on Ticky's arm and the bandages. They forced themself to stay in the system and eventually about a decade later it payed off NDNDMSJ

SANDY!!! THAT MOTHERFUCKER!!! He's a sand demon thing. Part owl too iirc. I remember I doodled him fairly recently, like... in 2019? I need to draw him a full reference and such bc we're still v fond of him

A few OCs that in system terms were partial fragments and thus both iterations didn't last long at all. In order we have Lucid the Umbreon, Casey (???) the Chao, Mirror, and Richard. I still rlly lov Casey and Mirror's designs so I might do smth with them in the future? idk yet

finally we have,, These. In order they are Shattered Soul (YES he was an edgelord YES he was a vent oc Y E S he was a warrior cats oc. ok), Amour's Irken form (They took that form in the headspace for a couple years before going dormant for a while— they have since returned and now prefer to look human NFNDNDJF), and,, my human form. NNDMDKFFK I was always destined to be a catgirl apparently wtf❤️

almost decade old art under the cut

it's Me,... Rosie,,... Back when I was a fuckin Pokemon oc JWNDMFFM also back when I had only one tail jfc

uhhhjj these two. wow ok. Red one's Goldie blue one's Melodie (pronounced Melody). They were v much vent ocs apparently fncnjsfj. These r not at all their final designs I'll have to hunt those down and I'll post em later.

it's HIM,..... SHOCK,,, my dumbass Pokemon hybrid bastard,... I lov he. I'm gonna redesign him probably JWNDNFJ

THAT is Janus. Back when he went by Twilight. He's my youngest sibling canonically and in-sys dnsnsnsnf. Obvs he and I have had major design updates lmfao

I'll rb with more art bc I hit the photo limit fndndnf

[c-infinity-83]

even more let's go

ticky tacky back when they were a pokemon oc and went by Rosey. I actually split off of them sysmate-wise! Back then since our OCs were tied to the system so much, if a sysmate went dormant/integrated (in the case of the many oc-sysmate fragments we had over those few years) then we just. Couldn't use that oc anymore. But in some cases one would go dormant and return and try to fight and claw their way back into the system which took a physical toll on them bc our brain wanted them To Go The FUCK To Bed. Thus explains the scarring on Ticky's arm and the bandages. They forced themself to stay in the system and eventually about a decade later it payed off NDNDMSJ

SANDY!!! THAT MOTHERFUCKER!!! He's a sand demon thing. Part owl too iirc. I remember I doodled him fairly recently, like... in 2019? I need to draw him a full reference and such bc we're still v fond of him

A few OCs that in system terms were partial fragments and thus both iterations didn't last long at all. In order we have Lucid the Umbreon, Casey (???) the Chao, Mirror, and Richard. I still rlly lov Casey and Mirror's designs so I might do smth with them in the future? idk yet

finally we have,, These. In order they are Shattered Soul (YES he was an edgelord YES he was a vent oc Y E S he was a warrior cats oc. ok), Amour's Irken form (They took that form in the headspace for a couple years before going dormant for a while— they have since returned and now prefer to look human NFNDNDJF), and,, my human form. NNDMDKFFK I was always destined to be a catgirl apparently wtf❤️

almost decade old art under the cut

it's Me,... Rosie,,... Back when I was a fuckin Pokemon oc JWNDMFFM also back when I had only one tail jfc

uhhhjj these two. wow ok. Red one's Goldie blue one's Melodie (pronounced Melody). They were v much vent ocs apparently fncnjsfj. These r not at all their final designs I'll have to hunt those down and I'll post em later.

it's HIM,..... SHOCK,,, my dumbass Pokemon hybrid bastard,... I lov he. I'm gonna redesign him probably JWNDNFJ

THAT is Janus. Back when he went by Twilight. He's my youngest sibling canonically and in-sys dnsnsnsnf. Obvs he and I have had major design updates lmfao

I'll rb with more art bc I hit the photo limit fndndnf