#taevyn plays swtor

[kaylerinarts]

Little doodle of my trooper and Aric because I haven’t drawn any SWTOR in way too long even though I’m still obsessed with it

[kaylerinarts]

Well apparently the hold SWTOR’s had on me for the past ten years doesn’t plan on letting up anytime soon (I’m looking at you, Aric Jorgan and Malavai Quinn 😒) and I’ve obsessively running through my trooper and consumed by all the feels again, so have this angsty drabble of a F!Trooper and Aric Jorgan.

Takes place just after the mission where you have to make the hard choice about saving Jaxxo

The Burden of Command

300 against one isn’t a choice. He’s right. Of course he’s right.

But just because it’s right doesn’t make it any easier. And that’s the burden of command isn’t it? To be the one to make the hard choices and then shoulder the consequences?

She wants to scream, she wants to cry, she wants to hit something. Anything to get the sounds of her friend’s dying pleas out of her head. Crying, begging.

No please. It can’t end like this.

And the heart of the matter, the little question she keeps asking herself over and over, has been ever since she told the prison overseer to push that dreadful button, is this: what if it was him?

One day it could be.

Because deep in her gut, she has this sinking suspicion that if it had been him instead, if he’d been the one life against hundreds, she would have made a very different choice.

“I wouldn’t let you.” He says after she confesses this haunting notion, late that night when she can’t sleep and he finds her pacing the bridge and starting vacantly out at the stars. He stops her with a gentle hand on her shoulder, turning her to face him, cupping her face in his hands, making her look him in the eyes. “Just like I know you wouldn’t let me.” His voice is steady, sure, and she tries to let it anchor her like it did when her friend had begged not to let her die. She wants to believe him, wants to believe she could be that strong, but for the first time in a long while she feels like she has an awful lot to lose, and it’s a thought she can hardly stand.

Soldiers die around them every day, and that’s the reality of war, but now that it’s here, now that it surrounds them outside of the comparatively small scale skirmishes they’ve been used to, she’s feeling selfish.

She doesn’t cry. She thinks she might feel better if she did, but the tears don’t come. She just feels numb and sick.

He silently takes her into his arms, and she lets him hold her.

[kaylerinarts]

Here. Have a shirtless Malavai Quinn. For, um… reasons the good of the Empire.

[kaylerinarts]

If Malavai Quinn's return doesn't feature him saying, “Didn't loose you,” I'm going to be most upset.