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holdmeclosertinytaron · 2 years ago

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RHW: Chapter Six

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A/N: Chapter six!! @brayndilyn and I spent so long working on this chapter, and this was the chapter that made me want to go to NYC even more than I already did! I hope you enjoy!

Word Count: 7.5k

Warnings: Explicit language, angst, talks of neglectful parents, narcissistic behaviours

February 20th, 2022

Boston was amazing. Liliana didn’t get to see as much of it as she would have liked but she also had the best time at her first ever signing. As they drove down the street to Barnes and Noble at Boston University, Liliana saw the line of people waiting to get in. There must have been almost a hundred people there, if not more, and she’d been so overwhelmed that she got teary.

Evelyn quickly wiped the tears away and reminded her that this was for her to enjoy and that tears would ruin photos and she didn’t want that. They’d laughed together then and Liliana took her phone out of her bag to video the line, sending it to Taron with a wtf, this is intense. They’re here for me! Asfasfas x. He’d texted back pretty quickly with a keyboard smash of his own.

He made her promise to remember him when she was a super famous author and she’d laughed at him, telling him to bugger off and that she would text him when she was in the hotel that night.

Having Taron only a text away, and only an hour behind now that she was in the States rather than the six hours when she was at home, had eased so much of her anxiety when it came to the US tour. She knew that he would give her whatever support she needed without question. Whether that was sweet support where he told her how amazing she was, or the tough love kind of support where he told her to stop being a wimp and get on with it because this is what she’d worked hard for and these people where there to prove to her that she is worth so much more than she thought about herself.

Liliana’s feelings for Taron had grown exponentially since she got back from Aberystwyth. There hadn’t been a single day since they got back where they hadn’t texted one another constantly, and Liliana still smiled like a giddy school girl whenever his name popped up on her screen. His texts were the notifications she prioritised and for the first time in years she’d started to keep her phone on loud rather than silent. She didn’t want to miss one of his texts.

Taron was the first person she thought of when she woke up in the morning and he was the last thing on her mind before she fell asleep at night. He consumed her every thought. The depths of her feelings was unlike anything she’d known before and they scared her because she was very aware of the fact that it wouldn’t go beyond a friendship with him. She tried to tell herself that she was content having Taron back in her life, hoping that if she told herself enough she would start to believe it.

After Boston, they headed to New York City where she spent the first day in another book signing. The queue of people waiting to get in went around the corner and she was so confused as to how so many people knew who she was and why they wanted to meet her.

Evelyn talked her down from a panic attack and reminded her that she did the whole thing three times in Boston so she could do it again. They got out of the car and Liliana waved to people in line before heading inside.

She racked her brain to try and remember what had been said in the meetings leading up to leaving where she’d been told how to act and what not to say and do. Evelyn told her to relax in those meetings so she hadn’t really paid much attention which hadn’t proven to be a problem until now.

‘Ev,’ she whispered into her ear as they got to the area they would be talking, ‘I’m scared. This feels different to Boston. It’s a whole new crowd. I don’t know what I’m doing.’

Evelyn turned to her with soft eyes. ‘Liliana, you’re fine. You’re going to read the first chapter of the book after you say hello and introduce yourself. Then, you invite people to ask questions but you only take three. If anybody asks you about your family and growing up, you smile and tell them that you’re thankful for all of the lessons you learnt because without those, you wouldn’t be here right now. If someone asks you anything about a romantic relationship, you tell them whatever you want. Don’t go overboard though. If someone asks about the second book, you tell them that you can’t divulge such information at this time but as soon as you can it will be on your social media and the website for them to look at.’

‘And if they ask anything else?’

‘Then you use that GCSE Drama to good use and make something up on the spot. You’re in love with an actor, surely you know some ways to pretend.’

‘Ev!’ Liliana cried, eyes wide and mouth agape. ‘You did not just say that to me.’

‘It’s the truth.’

‘Oh honey, you’re so in love with him it’s painful,’ Jacob piped up when he was done with the conversation with the manager of the store. ‘Even I can tell you’re in love with him.’

Liliana fake cried at them. ‘I really should have brought other people with me. You’re useless. Let’s get this over with.’

‘Oh wow, babe, you can have a little more enthusiasm than that.’

Liliana glared at Evelyn and took her jacket off, throwing it at Jacob who laughed at her and guided her to where she needed to be.

‘Remember, you’re amazing. You’re strong. You’re a badass bitch with a book and two of the best friends in the entire world.’

‘I have the meanest friends in the entire world,’ Liliana called back with a cackle. She could do this. She could read the first chapter of her book to a group of people she had never met and then she could sign books and take photos with people. ‘I’m ready. Let’s do this.’

‘I’m sorry miss,’ the manager said sheepishly, ‘but the doors don’t open until ten. We have an hour until that happens.’

All three of them burst into fits of laughter. They weren’t usually known for their punctuality as a group. Liliana on her own was the most punctual person, but as soon as she was around Evelyn and Jacob she was useless. They all huddled together at a table in the corner and discussed Boston and what they planned to do on their day off in New York. Evelyn had a glint in her eye when she listened to Liliana list off all the things she wanted to do but she wouldn’t give in whenever she was asked about it.

That evening, after hitting two different bookstores and meeting more people than she thought possible, all of whom praised the book and gushed about how much it had helped them, Liliana, Evelyn and Jacob headed for dinner with the CEO of Condé Nast, Robert Saurberg Jr.

Liliana had the fanciest meal of her life at the Loeb Boathouse restaurant in Central Park and she wished that it wasn’t such an important dinner so that she could send photos to Taron who had the day off from filming.

During the dinner, Robert asked if she would be up for interviews with different magazines under his umbrella where she would give exclusive access to her life. She asked if she could think about it. In the whole process of writing her book and publishing it, she never intended to become famous, and the idea made her anxious.

After that, dinner went on swiftly and they all had a great evening drinking and getting to know Robert, who gave them exclusive recommendations on places they should eat in the other cities they would be heading to after New York.

***

Liliana was reading in bed when her phone buzzed next to her. It was their last day in New York so she got to spend it doing whatever she pleased, starting with a lazy morning reading in bed before she got up and headed out for the day.

She let herself get to the end of the page before putting her bookmark in and closing the book.

Welcome to New York, it’s been waiting for you. Go to Washington Square Park at 11:30. There is a surprise waiting for you! T x

Liliana read the text five times. The first time she laughed because he’d used Taylor Swift lyrics that fit exactly how she’d felt about New York. The second time, she wondered what could possibly be at Washington Square Park waiting for her. The third time she wanted to make sure that it was actually Taron who had sent the message. The fourth time, she noted that it said to be there for half eleven and it was already ten. The fifth time, she wondered if Taron was in New York.

He couldn’t be. He had been called to stay in New Orleans for an extra few days to reshoot a couple of scenes. She thought that maybe he had planned something for her to do which started at the park so she climbed out of bed and trudged to the bathroom to shower.

While she was putting her hair up into a simple ponytail to keep it out of her face during the day, Liliana decided that she would get an Uber to the park to make her life a little easier. The price tag pained her a little but everything she did on the trip was being put on the company card so it wasn’t coming directly from her bank.

***

Liliana stopped in her tracks when she got to the archway at Washington Square Park. With arms held open ready for her to step into, and a smile bright enough to outshine Times Square, Taron waited for her. Liliana took a deep breath and ran to him. She almost knocked him down with the force of her hug but he managed to stay upright, holding her tight.

They hadn’t seen one another in almost a month but being together made it seem as though they hadn’t been apart at all.

‘Welcome to New York, little bird,’ he chuckled against her hair as he swayed her softly. ‘How’s this for a surprise?’

‘Perfect. How come you didn’t tell me you were here?’ Liliana wouldn’t let him go. She rested her head against his chest and relished in being in his arms again. He was firm against her front and she wondered if he’d worked out some while being away. ‘I’m in New York, Taron. Like actually in New York. America!’

A group of people walking past turned to smile at them before continuing on their walk. Taron tipped his head at them in a polite gesture before prying Liliana out of his arms so that he could look at her. His hands rested on her shoulders and he pushed her back ever so slightly to gain eye contact.

‘I am so proud of you, Lil, you have no idea.’ She hugged him again and he laughed happily. ‘Mam says she’s proud too and that you need to text her ASAP to tell her about the trip or she’ll have you.’

***

New York was beautiful that day, unseasonably warm with blue skies and the sun beaming down gentle rays. The cherry blossoms had begun to wake from their winter slumber and blessed the city with pink trees of heaven, petals floating down and dancing on the ground around their feet.

Liliana and Taron had walked around a little bit before they found a seat near the fountain to sit for a little while and catch up properly. They sat so close together that their thighs would have melded together had they been any closer. Liliana took time to take in her surroundings when the conversation fell to a natural lull.

The park was full of NYU students who were back in school after winter break, coffees in hand to try and keep them awake for their classes. Everywhere Liliana looked, the park buzzed with students, tourists, street performers and so many dogs she thought she might die. Whenever they came across a dog, she asked to pet it, kneeling down and getting excited.

As she admired a group of friends laughing together close to the fountain, taking photos of each other and having what seemed to be a fun day, somebody jumped on the piano close to the archway and started to play an instrumental version of a song Liliana would know anywhere.

Sign of the Times played and she closed her eyes to let the music wash over her. It was her favourite song, by her favourite artist, and she had to take a deep breath to control the quiver of emotion that bubbled in her throat.

Taron watched her tilt her head back to the sky and listen to the music, her lips turning into a soft smile. He grabbed her hand and looked at her in excitement when she looked at him, eyebrows furrowed until she realised what he was about to do.

He pulled her closer to the piano and twisted her into his body so that he could wrap his arm around her waist. They danced together to the music and Liliana smiled at him, beginning to sing along with the song.

‘Just stop your crying, have the time of your life,’ she sang quietly. Taron was in love with her voice and decided not to join in the singing just so he could enjoy it a little longer. ‘Breaking through the atmosphere, and things are pretty good from here, remember everything will be alright.’

‘Are you?’ Taron asked when she stopped singing to the music.

‘Am I what?’

‘Having the time of your life?’

Liliana nodded. There were tears in her eyes but she smiled widely at him. ‘You have no idea. I still can’t believe that you’re here.’

‘I missed you and needed to see you,’ he admitted.

He continued to waltz her around happily and she threw her head back to bark a laugh when he almost stumbled over. He pouted at her but then joined in her laugh. They didn’t care that they were in public and were being watched by hundreds of other people. They were two people, enjoying one another’s presence and being in the moment.

When the song ended and they stopped dancing, everyone around them erupted into cheers and applause and they both blushed profusely. Taron grabbed Liliana’s hand and looked at her, silently asking if she trusted him. She nodded before they took off running out of the park, laughing loudly.

It reminded Liliana of running through the rain back in Aberystwyth the year she left for university. They’d been on top of Constitution Hill cloud watching when the rain started. They had to run down the hill and onto the seafront to find shelter. They were soaked by the time they got there.

‘I want to show you some of my favourite places,’ Taron said when they were a block away from the park. ‘If you’re up for it? I know you wanted to do touristy things but-’

‘I want to see New York through your eyes,’ she smiled at him. ‘Tourist attractions be damned. Show me New York, T.’

The rest of the morning was spent wandering around the West Village where they passed countless rows of brownstones. Liliana thought they were some of the most beautiful houses she’d ever seen and kept stopping in front of them to just admire them. She couldn’t help but peek into the windows of them and wonder what the person living there was like. What they did for work, how much they loved living in New York, how often they had guests over for dinner parties on Friday evenings.

She loved London and she loved her flat but she wished she had even a sliver of green space that she could use to create a garden like the occupants of the brownstones had. Hell, she’d take a balcony she could put planters on. If it weren’t for Matilda she could have easily packed up all of her belongings and moved into one of the many brownstones she’d passed that day.

Taron obliged every time she wanted to admire one, stepping back and watching as she took it all in. He couldn’t stop smiling at her. Though he wished he could read her mind so he knew what she was thinking as she stood with her arms by her sides and her head tilted up to look at the houses.

‘You know,’ Taron started as they headed to Bleecker Street, where his favourite record shop was, ‘I love the anonymity that this part of the city affords me. Granted, I have quite a bit wherever I go but here I feel like I don’t have to put on appearances just in case. I can do whatever I want and be me and that’s enough, you know?’

Liliana wrapped her arms around his bicep, leaning on him as they walked. ‘I understand. I can tell you don’t have a mask on. It’s like when we got to Aber at Christmas, you just took this deep breath in the car and there was a different version of you in front of me. I like this version of you. I like all versions of you but this one is my favourite.’

Taron took a deep breath and smiled at her, whisking her into the record shop. They spent almost an hour rummaging through bins of vinyls. When they were at opposite ends of the shop, they would call to the other to show them music from when they were little, and when they were next to one another, they would slide whatever they’d found in front of the other person with a cheeky grin.

In the end, Liliana bought five records, one each for Evelyn and Jacob and three for herself. Taron bought himself and his mum the same record of music they’d listened to in the car when he was younger and he bought the Rocketman soundtrack for Liliana as a joke. She loved it and vowed to play it all the time.

They had worked up an appetite shopping for records so they headed to Magnolia Bakery where he asked her once more if she trusted him.

‘You need to stop asking me that,’ she laughed. ‘I trust you wholeheartedly. And I hereby respond to every future time you ask if I trust you that unless I state otherwise, I trust you with everything.’

Taron headed inside to buy a cupcake while Liliana waited outside. She stood on the sidewalk and saw the bookstore across the road so she crossed over to look in the windows. There, on the shelf staring back at her next to a bunch of tote bags and other books that she’d read before, was her book.

Emotion rushed over her as she truly realised what was happening. She was in New York City and was going to other cities across the States, with her best friends from work celebrating her book.

And she was with Taron. The book was the reason she was with Taron. She’d invited him to the book launch but had no idea if he would actually show up. Part of her had hoped he wouldn’t go. She’d poured everything into the book but was unsure how she would handle seeing him again and reliving the entire thing.

But he had shown up and it turned out that inviting him had been the best decision she could have ever made.

‘I wondered where you’d gotten to,’ he said when he stood next to her. He saw the book and looked in her eyes through the reflection of the glass. ‘I saw it in New Orleans too and I realised that the book-’

‘If it weren’t for the book, we wouldn’t be here right now. We probably wouldn’t have gotten back in touch,’ Liliana finished for him, turning to face him with a sad smile. ‘I’m so glad you came to the book launch.’

‘I’m so glad you invited me.’ He handed over a tub. ‘It’s banana pudding, don’t look at it like it’s some weird alien thing.’

‘And banana pudding is…what, exactly?’ She took the tub from Taron and looked at it sceptically.

‘It’s bananas, a firm custard and cake pieces. I got a large because you have to really indulge in this stuff. If you can’t finish it, I got an extra spoon.’

'We can share it,’ she said, offering him the tub. ‘I don’t mind.’

‘I promise, the second you have some you will no longer want to share it.’

Liliana took her first bite. Her eyes instantly closed as she moaned happily around the mouthful. ‘Okay so this is what heaven is like. Good to know.’

Taron laughed at her before guiding her down the street so they could head towards Greenwich Village and the Lower East Side. They come across a small street fair on Houston Street and stop to admire the New York themed artwork.

Liliana had made light work of the banana pudding but left just under half of it, which Taron finished for her. He’d asked if she was sure and she told him that if she ate anymore then she would pop and she wanted to enjoy the rest of their day. He laughed but obliged, eating the rest of the pudding with the same spoon Liliana had used.

After Liliana purchased a small piece of artwork that she wanted to put up in her living room to remember the trip, they found themselves at a cocktail bar to ‘rest their feet’ as Taron had suggested.

Liliana was so grateful that Taron was there and had shown her all of his favourite parts of New York, or at least as many as he was able to in their one day there. He’d promised that one day they would go back and spend a few days exploring the city fully and Liliana couldn’t wait. At the start of the day she’d planned to go to all of the touristy areas but somehow going everywhere but to those places made her feel like she’d really experienced New York City. She beamed over the perfect day she’d experienced over a Manhattan, a joke because of where they were. Though she didn’t enjoy the drink as much as she thought she would. Taron had laughed at her initial reaction, her face scrunched up tightly.

‘I thought it was going to be sweeter,’ she grimaced, taking another sip because she refused to leave it after what it cost.

They laughed again at some of the things they’d done and the characters that they’d seen during the day, like the guy with a cat on his head. Liliana had had the best day and she had loved every single minute of it and of getting to spend time with Taron.

Three drinks later, the sun had started to set and the winter chill set back in. Liliana wrapped her arms around herself as they continued walking through the city, soaking up every possible minute they had together.

‘What do you think about heading back to my hotel to relax for a bit? We could get pizza and watch something on the TV? American Netflix is so much better than ours.’

Liliana nodded enthusiastically. ‘That sounds really good. I’m freezing and want to relax before tomorrow’s travel day.’

Taron pulled his phone out of his pocket and ordered them an Uber to get back. ‘You have two options for food, actually. We can get pizza, or we can order room service. Either way, we’ll nip to the liquor store near the hotel and get something to drink. Or we could get a drink from the bar, actually.’

‘As much as room service is always a good idea because…good food, I’ve had it so much these past few days. Plus, I’ve come all the way to New York and I haven’t had a single slice of pizza which is a crime, I believe. So I vote for pizza. And we can get drinks at the bar. It’s too cold,’ she laughed.

‘Pizza it is. Come on, the Uber will be here in a minute. I’ll order pizza to the hotel. There’s this place called Joe’s and they do the best pizza! What would you like on it?’

Liliana thought for a minute, going over the options in her head. ‘I’ll just have a regular old Pepperoni, please.’

***

The Uber pulled up outside Taron’s hotel and Liliana stepped out and stared at him in amazement.

‘This is your hotel?’ She asked, her arms once again wrapped around her middle. Taron nodded. ‘My room is on the 16th floor. Room 1653.’

‘No way!’ Taron chuckled. Liliana could hear the fake shock and she stared at him, blinking three times in quick succession.

‘You knew?’

‘I may or may not have had this whole thing planned out with Evelyn for a week or so,’ he admitted. ‘I swore her to secrecy but I knew I wanted to surprise you today and what better way to end the night by both being in the same hotel?’

‘So this is why she was acting so sheepish the other day at the book signing. I’m gonna kill her.’

Taron laughed. ‘Don’t kill her. It was all my idea, promise. Come on, let’s go get a drink.’

Their pizza was waiting for them at reception when they got there and Taron took it from the counter happily before he headed to the lift to get to his room. He decided that they would order drinks via room service so that they could eat sooner.

Liliana’s stomach grumbled loudly in the lift and Taron lifted the pizza box to her nose, circling it in front of her, in response. She eyed him grumpily and put her hand just under the waistband of her jeans to pull them away from her skin.

‘I am so uncomfortable in these clothes,’ she complained. ‘I might nip to my room and get changed before food, if that’s okay?’

‘No need,’ Taron smiled. ‘I’ve got a hoodie and bottoms you can borrow.’

Liliana’s heart fluttered at his offer. The last time she’d borrowed his clothes had been at Christmas when she stayed at his house for the night.

Stealing clothes from a man was a very intimate thing to her. Even when she’d had casual flings with someone, she’d never borrowed their clothes until she knew that they meant something to her. They never meant anything to her. Taron meant everything to her.

‘Thank you, that sounds nice.’

They sat together on Taron’s bed, their legs crossed and a box of pizza in front of them. Taron had bought the large pizza so that they could share, but it was big enough that Tina, Rosie, Marie and Matilda could have had some and they would all have been satisfied.

Taron had thrown Liliana a black hoodie and a pair of joggers when they got to the room and she put them on happily in the bathroom. His hoodie felt like a giant hug and it smelled like him. She kept lifting the neckline up to inhale his scent and he’d caught her a couple of times but never mentioned it to her.

There was something about the intimacy of being in his bed, in his clothes, with his knees touching hers that made her feel vulnerable. More vulnerable than she’d been in a long time.

Between touring different time zones and talking about her childhood more than she ever had, as well as being away from her safe space at home, Liliana’s vulnerability exploded and she couldn’t help the tears that fell.

Taron looked at her with sad eyes and immediately moved the pizza to the bedside table so he could pull her into his arms. The position was awkward but Liliana didn’t care. She needed the comfort that Taron was giving her.

‘Do you want to talk?’ Taron whispered into her hair softly. ‘If you do, remember everything will be alright.’

Liliana pulled away from the hug and wiped her eyes even though she still cried. She lifted the hem of the hoodie up to her ribs. The tattoo that she’d gotten five years prior when she was writing the book for the first time and thinking back to Taron being in her life sat proudly.

Taron refrained from reaching forward to run his fingers over it. Instead he looked at the tattoo again and then up to Liliana who slowly pulled the hoodie down and used the sleeves to make paws over her hands. She was starting to withdraw slightly.

‘That’s a lyric, right? A Harry Styles one? From that song we danced to earlier.’

‘It is,’ she sniffled and wet her lips. ‘But it’s also what you used to tell me when we were teenagers and I was worried about leaving for university. You always told me that everything would be alright. So as much as it’s a tattoo to represent a song that means more to me than I could ever put into words, it’s also a tattoo to represent a friendship I missed more than anything, and a person who I loved.’

Her admission was too much for her and the floodgates opened once more. She sobbed aggressively on the bed with her head in her hands and Taron held her in his arms again to try and comfort her. But it didn’t work.

The one thing that he’d been able to do so easily for so long was impossible that evening. He wanted to text his mum and ask her what to do but he needed to have his full attention on Liliana who was struggling to breathe.

He held her top half while manoeuvring them so that they were laid down on the bed, Liliana’s body rested in the crook of Taron’s body and his arms wrapped tightly around her. He rocked her slightly and hoped that the new position would allow for her to breathe a little easier.

Liliana still cried but she was calmer thanks to being able to breathe better. She looked up at Taron through wet eyelashes but closed her eyes again when Taron wiped under her eye. He looked at her with concern and she felt awful for putting this on him.

‘Talk to me?’ He asked her tentatively, tucking a piece of hair that had fallen out of her ponytail behind her ear so that she didn’t eat it. ‘If you want to.’

‘I want to tell you everything,’ she told him before closing her eyes to try to stop herself from crying more. ‘But I’m scared.’

‘Scared of what?’

‘Scared that you’ll think differently of me. That you won’t want to know me when you finally know the truth. I’m scared that I’m going to lose you again.’

‘Lil,’ he whispered, tears starting to well in his eyes. ‘I promise you won’t lose me again. I’m never going anywhere.’

Liliana took a deep breath and opened up completely. She bared her soul to Taron and told him about the day she was pulled out of school and found out about her dad cheating on her mum and how she’d spent weeks crying herself to sleep because for eleven years she’d woken up and fallen asleep in the same house as both of her parents who told one another that they loved each other and then it was all pulled out from under her.

She admitted that she hadn’t seen her dad since she was twelve and that he hadn’t once tried to reach out to her in all that time. The last time she’d seen him was when her mum told him that she hoped he wrapped his car around a tree and died.

Taron gasped when he heard that and held her close but stayed quiet. It was the most she’d ever told him and he wanted to listen to her, to let her talk and tell him everything that she wanted to.

Liliana told him about the way her mum had truly treated her throughout her teenage years, and how she’d spent more time doing things that her mum should have been doing, like cooking and cleaning and doing the shopping, than anything else. She missed out on her teenage years and she hated that she’d never get them back. She was twenty at fourteen.

When she explained that there’d been a time in her teens when she had thoughts that she didn’t ever want to think about again, just so that she could escape the constant pain she was in, Taron cried with her. He held her even tighter and told her that he was there and she cried harder.

‘I’m sorry you went through all of that. I didn’t know.’

‘I didn’t say anything,’ Liliana said, finally looking at Taron. Both of them had red eyes and snotty noses and she leaned back into his chest and held him close, inhaling his scent. ‘I didn’t want anybody to know what was really going on. That’s why I applied to Edinburgh. I wanted to be as far away as I could get so that I could start somewhere new without the cloud of Eliza and my childhood hanging over my head. I never got to be a teenager properly. I never got to go on holiday or dance in the rain or go to house parties and get drunk with all of my friends or go to concerts because I was too busy parenting myself.’

‘Lil.’

‘It’s fine. I got used to it pretty quickly. And I thought that maybe once I left for uni, things would change. I was naive enough to think that space would improve my relationship with my mum but it didn’t. It made it worse. Every time I go back to Aber to see Matilda I sit and wait for the comments from mum. She doesn’t love me. She pretends she does to other people but she doesn’t.’

‘Oh Lil, I’m so sorry.’

Liliana sniffled and started to cry fully again. She hadn’t ever told anybody how her mum felt about her before and it felt both freeing and terrible to tell somebody. ‘She told me herself, on Christmas morning. I went to the kitchen for a drink and she came in after me. I thought she wanted a drink herself but she just turned bitter for no reason. She told me that she was glad I moved away because it meant she didn’t have to pretend to love me anymore. I spent the rest of the day upstairs on my own.’

So that was why she’d been crying on Christmas day. Taron couldn’t do anything but hold her even tighter. His heart had shattered into billions of pieces and he wanted to use the pieces of his heart to patch up Liliana’s.

‘Liliana, look at me,’ he said after a few minutes of letting her cry. He tilted her chin up with his thumb and let his heart break even more when he saw just how much the sparkle in her eyes had died. ‘Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to tell me all of this. I wish I’d have known sooner, mum and me would have helped or-’

‘You couldn’t have helped,’ Liliana replied, licking her lips to wet them again. ‘Nobody could have helped. It happened, I grew up, I wrote a book and I only go back home when I really have to. And that’s only to see Matilda. And now it’ll be to see your mum too. I missed her.’

Taron looked at her for a moment and took a deep breath. Liliana could feel his chest move against hers as he breathed.

‘Lil, there’s something I need to tell you,’ he whispered after a few seconds, pushing the strand of hair behind her ear again after it had fallen. ‘On Christmas Eve when I spent time with you and Matilda, I realised…that you’ve never been just a friend to me.’

‘Taron…’ Liliana warned. ‘Please.’

‘There’s always been something there but I never let myself act on it. I think I started to realise when you were getting ready to leave for uni but I didn’t want to hold you back. I knew you needed to leave, even if I didn’t know just how much you needed to leave until right now, and me telling you how I felt would have held you back. You just bared your entire soul to me and I don’t think I’ve ever felt this kind of sorrow before. You deserve so much more than what you’ve had.

‘You deserve a family who will always show you love, and who will mean it. I want to be that family for you. I’ve always wanted to be that family.’

Taron leaned closer to Liliana until their noses touched. She could feel his breath on her lips and she froze, gulping hard. It’s all she’d ever wanted but it was too much all at once. She leaned back as Taron leaned in, her head screaming at her to get out of the bed, the room, the hotel, the city. She wanted to be anywhere but there.

Taron watched as she scurried off the bed, making some excuse about needing to be up early to head to Philly. She grabbed her clothes from the chair in the corner and her bag and left the room, letting the door slam loudly behind her.

Her heart was beating so fast. She ran to the lift and pressed the button over and over until it dinged and the doors opened. It wasn’t until the doors closed behind her that she realised Taron hadn’t followed her like she thought he might.

Taron lay on his bed and rested his elbow over his eyes. He was pissed at himself for even thinking that it was a good time to tell Liliana how he felt. She had just opened herself up to him fully and in a way he’d wished she would for years. Her vulnerability was clear and he’d held her for almost an hour while she told him why she was the way she was. She had explicitly told him that she’d struggled to open up to anyone and he still took advantage of her vulnerability to tell her that he had feelings for him.

But he was also confused. He thought he’d read her right. She told him that she’d loved him, and the way she said it very strongly implied that she was still in love with him. He thought they’d made progress until she shut herself down again like she had so many times before. All he wanted was to know why, and to have her know that he was there for her.

He decided that he needed to step back and respect Liliana’s very clear boundaries. There must have been a reason she was so reserved. Everything she told him had affected her badly so maybe she needed time to realise that he was there for her.

Even though he was mad at himself for doing what he did, he couldn’t bear the thought of Liliana thinking he was mad at her for leaving him. He still wanted to be there for her, despite not knowing when he would see her next. He texted Evelyn asking for their return information to London but didn’t answer any of her questions that followed.

Liliana’s room was pitch black when she got back but she couldn’t bring herself to switch on the light. She was too sad and too weak to do anything but drop her bag on the floor near the door and stumble her way to the bed. The bed was made from housekeeping earlier in the day but she didn’t attempt to pull the covers open to climb into them. She curled up on top of them and pulled the neckline of Taron’s hoodie closer to her face where she could inhale his scent.

Her heart broke into millions of pieces as she lay in the dark, her mind replaying what had happened in Taron’s bedroom. She curled herself up more and let the tears fall. The thought of having to continue the book tour made her want to cry more. She’d always been good at putting on a fake smile, throwing her hair up and pretending like everything was fine but she didn’t know how she would manage that when she hurt the way she hurt.

***

February 21st, 2022

The next morning, Liliana woke up with the worst headache she’d had in a long time. She’d only had an hour and a bit of sleep and was feeling it.

She fished through her bag for the Tylenol she’d bought in Boston and took two with the lukewarm water on the bedside table from the day before. The room was still dark despite the curtains being open and she checked the time on her phone.

She could have stayed asleep for at least another hour but she didn’t want to have the same dream she’d had all night. Taron had confessed that he had feelings for her and she’d left him in his room alone. It played on repeat all night until she woke up with tears in her eyes.

What had started out as the best day she’d ever had, exploring a dream city with Taron and feeling so free, turned out to be a nightmare. She hadn’t expected to tell him about the years leading up to her leaving for university but it happened and she wished that she could take it all back.

Above all, she wished that she could take back leaving his room without explanation. She wished she’d have pulled away when he leaned in to kiss her, something she’d wanted him to do for so long, to tell him that he was moving too fast and she couldn’t change gears so quickly. Not after revealing her deepest, darkest thoughts to him.

She should have told him that it wasn’t that she didn’t feel the same way about him and that she was happy to finally know that he was on the same page, but she just needed him to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay again. That she wasn’t broken after everything she’d been through.

There was so much that she should have done. What she could have done. Instead she had run back to her room like a coward and wouldn’t be able to see him until they were both back in London. The only way she could have apologised to him before being back home was to go to his room before she left and do it. But she refused to wake him at four thirty in the morning. The chances were that he wouldn’t want to see her again anyway so it was for the best that she didn’t.

Evelyn eyed her suspiciously as she climbed into the car but she ignored her best friend. She sat in her seat, fastened her seatbelt and put her earphones in to listen to music. It was only a little under two hours to their next destination but it seemed to take forever.

Liliana had to stop herself from crying multiple times during the drive and struggled to keep her composure. The hoodie she’d borrowed from Taron was still wrapped around her top half and she curled into it, inhaling Taron’s scent and wishing she could change everything that happened the night before.

During the drive she started to text Taron, typing out an entire paragraph before deciding that it didn’t sound right so deleting it. She repeated it multiple times until she gave up altogether. There was no way that he would want to talk to her after everything that happened. He wouldn’t want her anymore.

Liliana somehow managed to get through the few days in Philadelphia without breaking down into tears every time she talked about the book. Evelyn and Jacob sensed that something had happened, especially with how sad she’d been and how Taron asked for their return info, but Liliana wouldn’t tell them anything.

When they were headed to LA and Seattle, Liliana realised that she couldn’t give Taron nothing so she texted him to apologise for running out. She told him that she’d get his clothes back to him when she was back in London and that she hoped the last bit of filming went okay. The text was short compared to how she normally texted him but she wanted her apology to be in person so that she could see his response. Not to mention that the way between telling him and his response would kill her. Though she didn’t receive a response at all. It was radio silent from Taron’s end and it hurt but she understood. He didn’t want to speak to her and she couldn’t blame him.

#taron david egerton #taron egerton #taron egerton imagine #taron egerton fanfiction #taron egerton au #taron egerton fluff #taron egerton writing #taron egerton smut #taron egerton drabble #taron egerton blurb #taron egerton fanfic #my writing

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taronsheart · 5 years ago

Note

Hey! Could you maybe do an imagine where Taron comforts the reader during a thunderstorm and power outage?

I’m Here

Ship: Taron x reader

Word Count: 431

Additional Tags: soft, kissing, power outage, fears, fluff, cuddling, sleeping

A/N: I am so so sorry love that this took so long to make and it’s not even that good😩 i hope someone enjoys it❤️

The sound of water droplets falling on your window was relaxing as you snuggled in Taron’s arms on the couch wearing one of his hoodies. You liked the rain and how calming it sounds. The only part you didn’t like is when it starts pouring hard outside. You were scared that there would be a hurricane or a power outage or something. Nevertheless, you enjoyed just listening to the little sounds of rain as he kept you warm. Both of you were watching a rerun of friends while sipping on some hot chocolate. Taron looked over at you and smiled softly. He loved your relaxed side. The side where you could literally just be in a hoodie and sweatpants and still look good. He thought you looked good every day and he was so lucky to have you. You turned to him, noticing he was looking at you, and blushed. “What?” you ask while grinning.

“Nothing, you just look really cute love,” Taron admits.

“You're not too bad yourself,” you say before pecking him on the lips.

Taron smiles and goes back to watching tv. The rain started to be coming down quickly, thunder becoming louder, and you got a little worried. Taron noticed and held you closer if that was even possible. He knew that heavy rain made you nervous and he hated seeing you scared. He plants a kiss to your forehead to let you know it’ll be okay. “It’ll calm down after a while babe. Don’t worry, I’m here,” Taron reassures you.

“I know. Thank you, T,” you reply.

Suddenly the room became pitch black, every lamp turned off as well as the tv, and all you could feel was Taron. You started to panic. Your breathing became heavier and you started to shake a little. “It’s okay, lovely. I know. I know. Just take deep breaths okay?” Taron said, trying to calm you down. You listened to Taron’s voice, which alone made you more content. You closed your eyes and breathed in and out multiple times until you started to feel better. You laid down on his chest and the sound of his heartbeat made you feel sleepy. Taron noticed. He picked you up and carried you to your guy’s shared room. He set you down gently on the bed and laid next to you with his arms hugging you tightly from behind. You don’t know why you always get so anxious when the rain starts to pick up, but Taron was always there to comfort you and let you know that he’s always there for you.

#taron egerton #taron egerton fluff #taron egerton x reader #eggsy unwin #eggsy unwin fluff #eggsy unwin x reader #kingsman #taron x reader #taron egerton drabble #taron egerton fanfic #taron egerton fanfiction #taron egerton imagine #taron egerton one shot #eggsy unwin drabble #taron egerton smut #eggsy unwin smut #taron smut #eggsy smut

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buckleyx · 5 years ago

Text

BREATHTAKING T.E

Author’s note: Sorry for any mistakes. English isn't native language :)

Summary: Taron pickes you up at home to attend your first red carpet togheter as a couple.

Warnings: None

masterlist

———————————–

"Hello." Tom greeted, opening the door. "She's almost ready." He nodded, gesturing the man before him to come inside.

"Okay." Taron said nervously, fixing the sleeve of his suite.

You were seeing Taron for a few months now, but today was the first time going out in public. You both were very excited, Yet you couldn't shake of the nerves that you're about to be standing on a red carpet in less than an hour.

"Ready?" Your roommate yelled.

"Yes Tom, I'm almost there." You shouted, glancing one more time in the mirror. Fixing your hair you gave yourself a nod of approval before opening the door.

The two man before you were left speechless, as you walked into the hallway. Taron admired your look, his lower lip between his teeth and eyes never leaving yours.

"Wow." Tom muttered under his breath, noticing the dress that hugged your body perfectly.

"You look beautiful." Taron admired, breaking the distant and pulling you closer. His sea green eyes full of adoration as a shade of pink covered his cheeks.

"You look nice too." You smiled, fixing his tie. "C'mon Love, before we miss our cab." He said softly, pressing his forehead to yours and giving you a soft kiss.

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dreamingabouttaron · 5 years ago

Text

The Assistant Part 29

You looked down at the small shiny blue and white invitation that sat neatly in your hands. As you slowly traced your fingers over the bumpy white letters, you held tightly onto your breath. Your mind was racing. You had arrived at United Agents that morning to find a letter addressed to you sitting neatly on your desk. You had eagerly opening it to find an invitation to the Cannes premiere of Rocketman inside alongside a handwritten letter from Taron personally asking you to come along. It felt like time had stopped. You didn’t know what to do. You hadn’t seen or spoken to Taron in months. Would it even be a good idea to go?

James looked over at you from his desk, he noticed the frozen state that you were in. “Is that your invitation?” He asked quietly, clearly knowing what you were looking at. You looked up at him slowly, still holding tightly on to the piece of card. “Are you going to go?”

You released a breath that you didn’t realise you had been holding. “I… I don’t know.”

James got up from his desk and dragged his chair over to yours. “I’m going to be honest with you and I’m saying this because I love and care about you. I think you should go. I think it would be good for you to see him. If worse comes to the worst Lindy and I are going to be there with Taron doing press so I can keep an eye on things.”

You gently placed the piece of card onto the desk and looked back over the letter Taron had written for you. You ran your fingers over his hand writing. You pictured him sat there writing it out over and over. You thought back to the voicemail he had left you a few weeks ago. You felt guilty for not responding but you didn’t know what to say. You still had feelings for him. You still craved him. But you knew you could be toxic together. Would it really be a good idea to drag the past back up again?

“Megs..” James placed his warm hand on yours. “Be real with me for a moment. Do you still have feelings for him?” You looked into his eyes and he didn’t need a vocal answer. The answer was written all over your face. “and I think we have our answer.” James climbed up from his chair and dragged it back over to his desk. “I’m taking you shopping this weekend. We’re going to find you the most perfect dress.”

That weekend you met James in Central London; you trailed around a number of different boutique shops until you finally found the ‘most perfect dress’ for the premiere. The days flew by and before you knew it, you were getting ready in your hotel room in Cannes. You had been arguing with yourself for days, was this really the right thing to do? You didn’t know what had come over you. You felt so stupid. What if he was with someone else? What if he was only inviting you because you worked for him? If you saw him, what would you even say to him? A million questions ran through your head, they had kept you up at night making the room spin.

You took one last glance at yourself in the mirror before you left your room. You were dressed in a floor length light blue chiffon dress. You had accessorised with a silver bag and silver heels. The blue in your dress made the blue in your eyes stand out. You had to admit, you looked good. You left your room and climbed into the back of a waiting car. You had been in constant contact with James, he was giving you little updates and kept checking in with how you were doing. You were so thankful for his support.

When you arrived at the premiere, you were blown away with the scale of it. You hadn’t experienced anything like this. You felt like a fish out of water. It was incredibly overwhelming. You made your way straight up the red carpet and straight into the building, ignoring the craziness of the red carpet. You quickly took your place in the cinema and waited for everyone else to arrive. As the room started to fill up, your eye got caught when you noticed Tina and Guy walking in to find their seats. As they scanned the rows for their places, Tina noticed you. You felt your breath hitch. You smiled gently towards her and she waved warmly back. You wanted to run over and hug her. You wanted her comforting ways. You wanted her to tell you everything was going to be okay. You were starting to feel a little silly when you felt your phone vibrate in your lap. You looked down to see a text from Tina. I’m so happy to see you. I’ll find you and give you a hug after the film. Tina x

You felt a wave of relief wash over your body. Something so simple made everything feel better. You quickly typed a reply as the rest of the room filled up. You watched as the rest of the cast and crew found their seats. You felt more and more anxious as you waited for Taron to enter the room. You weren’t sitting anywhere near the front of the screen but just being in the same room as him filled you with a cocktail of emotions. And that’s when you noticed him. You clocked James and Lindy following closely behind a rather sharp looking Taron. He looked incredible. You felt your heart beating as everyone in the room clapped and cheered as the last of the cast and crew took their seats.

The film itself was a masterpiece. You couldn’t have been any prouder of Taron. You could finally see why he was so busy and so stressed when you were together. As you watched the scenes play out, you thought back to the filming process and the stress and arguments it caused. It brought back so many memories of Taron singing the songs on repeats for months and months. You felt overwhelmed with emotion just thinking about it, it brought tears to your eyes. When the film finished, you made a beeline back to the hotel where you were going to meet James before you made your way to the after party. You wanted to compose yourself in case you saw Taron.

A few hours and drinks later, you were standing with James at the bar. You were so relieved that he was there with you. You couldn’t have done this on your own. The party was in full swing, the drinks were flowing, the dance floor was packed and the music was incredibly loud. Everyone was having a wonderful time. You were in the middle of a conversation with James when you followed his eye line to a group of men all laughing and shouting. The group parted and that’s when you saw him. Taron.

A rush of emotions hit you, it was like you couldn’t breathe. Could this really be happening. Were you really here? You knew you were standing, but you couldn’t feel anything. You couldn’t feel your hands, legs or anything for that matter. All you could feel was your heart. It was beating, so fast you thought the whole world could hear it. Everything was so bright. Memories came flashing back. You pictured the first time you met him. You walked into United Agents and there he was. The way he looked at you and smiled. They say in the few seconds you can see a persons true feeling towards you. That’s where it all began. A friendship and love. A love that you had never felt before. You tried to calm yourself down, slowly, taking deep breaths until your breathing was back to normal and the room was no longer spinning.

The room seemed to go silent. Time seemed to stand still. There he was. Not quite right in front of you, but the other side of the room. Which quickly felt a lot smaller than it actually was. Everything was happening in slow motion. Yes, it was highly cliché; but the moment you laid eyes on him you felt something inside you shift. There was something about Taron that just...shook you. He just stood there, laughing and joking with his friends holding a beer, typical, but god did he look good in that grey velvet suit jacket.

You felt like you were staring at him for an awfully long time but you didn’t care. That’s when he noticed you, but you still couldn’t look away. His whole face softened when he saw you. Now you were just two people in a crowded room staring at each other. From an outsider’s perspective it probably looked a little weird. Then he did something, something you thought if you saw in person again it would break you. He smiled at you. A wonderful, bright smile.

Do something, you kept repeating in your head over and over again. Move. Smile. Look away. Anything, just stop staring.

You managed a little wave of your hand causing his smile to grow even more. He got pulled back into his conversation with his friends. That’s when everything came rushing back into focus. The room you were in, the people, the flashing lights, the thumping music. You could hear James calling your name beside you, but you couldn’t open your mouth to respond. You wanted to leave, you needed to get out but you couldn’t move.

You watched as Taron excused himself from his group and slowly made his way through the crowd over to you. James reached out for your hand and gave it a little squeeze before he melted into the crowd giving you time alone.

Taron stopped in front of you. You both stood staring at each other for a moment. You felt the whole atmosphere shift. There he was. You took in his features. Still exactly the same. Still the man you fell in love with.

“Hey.” He finally managed to say.

“Hey. You smiled back.

“Wow look at you. You look like a star. You’re a vision in blue.” Taron said as his eyes scanned you and your body.

“Oh, I do?” You gulped and ran your hands nervously over your frame. You felt your cheeks growing red hot.

“Hey, you came!” He said with a slight frown on his forehead. It was as if he suddenly realised you were actually stood there in front of him.

“I wasn’t sure if I should come…” You whispered in response.

‘I’m very glad you decided to come.” He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. You both just stood there examining each other. You just wanted to reach out and touch him. You wanted to make sure this wasn’t a dream.

“Megan..I.. um.. I would really like to talk to you. Alone.” He said as he leant down and spoke quietly into your ear. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but would you come up to my room with me? I think it’s the only place we’ll get some privacy.”

You hesitate before nodding and following him through the crowds. The music getting quieter and quieter as you walk away. You were glad, it allowed your thoughts to form. You wanted to be as switched on as you could for this conversation. You wanted to be open and honest, you didn’t want to hold anything back.

When you arrived at Taron’s room he shut the door behind you, leaving you both completely alone for the first time in months. Now stand in front of Taron, neither of you saying a word. Both of you building up the courage. Minutes seemed to pass, still, no one said a word.

“H-how have you been since…” Taron finally broke the silence but trailed off not knowing how to finish his sentence.

“Since that night?” You snapped. “Oh, I’ve been great. You know, it's not like I’ve spent every day for the last four months wondering what the hell happened. Wondering what I did wrong. Wondering what I could have done to have saved us.” You didn’t mean to be sarcastic and petty but yet you couldn't help it, it just came out that way.

“I’m sorry.” He bowed his head in defeat looking down at his feet.

Silence once again fell between the two of you. Moving away from Taron, you walk towards the sofa and sat down.

“Megan, I know me saying ‘I’m sorry’ didn't mean anything to you then and probably means even less now, but I really am sorry. For everything. Hurting you was something I never wanted to do.” A rush of emotions ran through you, your anger was gone. Despite everything that had happened you didn’t hate Taron, you didn’t really know how to hate him. “But, why?” He asked, his voice was barely a whisper.

“Why what?” You questioned.

“Why did you end things. D-did I do something wrong? Was there someone else…”

“No! God no, to both.” You replied quickly.

“Then why?”

“I-I” You didn’t know what to say. “I felt like we were spending more time apart than together and when we were together it was as if we were on two separate planets. We weren’t connecting at all. All we did was argue and kiss and make up. Our work schedules were just crazy and that just torn us apart even more. I thought it would be best to give you the chance to find someone who would be home when you would be. You deserve someone who you can have spontaneous dates with, someone who you could fall asleep next to every night, not every couple of months. So I decided to let you go.”

“You really are stupid you know that.” He said raising an eyebrow and laughing at your comment. “Was there any particular reason you thought I was unhappy?”

You thought for a moment before replying. “Not exactly.” You shook your head.

“Did I ever actually say that you being away with work so much was ever an issue for me?”

Once again you paused and thought about what he asked. You both knew the answers. “No.”

“But regardless, you took it upon yourself to decide what I wanted from a relationship.”

“I told you, you deserved better than what I was able to give you at the time.”

The energy in the room seemed to shift. You watched as he took a moment to take in your words. “Did you know that I wrote down all of the things you ever said that touched my heart, and when I recently read them back after all this time they still touch my heart” Taron said as he sat down on the bed keeping his distance from you. The distance between you was charged with energy. You watched as he took his phone out of his pocket to find what he was looking for. You watched his finger scroll as he read what was on his phone. He then suddenly stopped and looked at you with his wonderful wide eyes.

“Megan. You’re on my mind, constantly” he shot at you. You furrowed your brows and frowned, not knowing what to reply. “If I’m happy it’s because of you, if I’m mad it’s because of you, everything I feel is because of you. But lately I’ve been more... sad? mad? I don’t know, but I know it makes me feel twisted inside.” You watched as tears started to fall from Taron’s eyes. You could see him struggling to identify the emotions he had been bottling up within himself. It pained you to see him like this. The sight brought tears to your eyes too.

“Do you remember our first ‘date’, you took me to that restaurant that had just opened around the corner from where I used to live…” You allowed the words to fall out of your mouth as you wiped your tears away.

“Yeah,” he paused, his face changed suddenly, a huge smile growing across his face as he remembered, “You wore that pink dress, you looked absolutely beautiful. That night I just knew you were the one.”

You felt your cheeks flush with heat, you loved that he still remembers so much about it even after all this time. You placed your head in your hands as you felt the emotions of the day catching up with you. Without any words Taron simply stood up and went over to where you were sitting. He kneeled in front of the sofa and leaned forward to hug your waist. You were both practically a sniffling and snotty mess. You held each other tightly. Touching for the first time in months. Holding each other. Comforting each other. Allowing yourselves to be there for the other person.

After some time when you both finally felt like there were no more tears left in your bodies, Taron came up from where he was almost cradling you. He cracked a reassuring smile and wiped your tear-filled face with his sleeve. He kept his eyes on you. He drew circles on your knee with his delicate hands. The movements felt soothing.

“Sorry. Everything just sort of hit me. You and me, us. Everything leading up to the break up. I just don’t want you to feel like I’m holding you back or anything. I get that you would want to move on at some point. That you have to move on.” Your voice still sounded a bit shaky and not as convincing as you’d hope for.

“You think this is what I truly want? Don’t you know me at all?” Taron looked hurt while saying this. You just shrugged while not knowing what to say. But then again here he was looking at you with those beautiful deep eyes. The same eyes you’d fallen in love with.

“I never wanted this Megan. Never. I just went along with this because that’s what I thought you wanted. You seemed so determined about it. I thought you were tired of me. I thought maybe you didn’t love me anymore.”

You were almost crying again while vigorously shaking your head at his words. You had let him believe that you didn’t love him. You moved out of the chair and slid onto his lap to wrap your arms around him in a bone crushing hug. His warmth engulfed you. In your mind you tried to hug away the last couple of months. If only it was that easy.

“I left because I love you too much Taron. I had to. The way you made me feel scared me so much. I was scared so many times that you would leave me for someone else. Someone better. I felt like I didn’t deserve you or your love. Like I wasn’t worthy of it.”

“Oh God Megan! No! I’m so sorry! I know I fucked this up from the very the beginning. I sure managed to royally screw us over didn't I?” He shakes his head.

“Hey, no ones perfect, even you.” You joke, even throwing him a wink teasing him and he laughs. You are so surprised at how all of a sudden you are so comfortable with him.

Taron cautiously reaches out and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, then gently caressing your cheek. It's like muscle memory kicks in and you automatically lean into his hand, closing your eyes enjoying his touch.

“I miss you, so much.” Your eyes dart open looking directly into his, god how you missed his eyes. You could hear the hurt and emotion in his voice. Feeling his body heat radiating off of him, you notice how close you had become with your bodies practically pressed against each other.

“I miss you too.” Responding with just as much emotion. As soon as the word left your mouth, Taron reached his other hand around your waist pulling you closer. Taron looked at you and you felt the world still around the two of you. His hands now came up and rested on each side of your face. His hands caressing your face, you leaned into the touch. He looked as if searching for something. Ever so slowly he leaned forward. You could feel his breath as he came closer. Your lips collided. His soft lips on yours. Your body knew exactly how to respond having a mind of its own. You reach your arms up around his neck, your fingers glide through the short hairs on the back of his head. It was like no time had passed. You fit perfectly together. You had to pull away to catch your breath. You couldn’t help yourself from smiling at Taron who looked just as flustered as you. He let out a breathy chuckle still holding you close to him as if you could disappear at any time.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” You don't reply with words, you just pull his lips back down to yours. Both of his hands, now around your waist, they grip you harder. Like he never wants to let you got. You secretly hope he wouldn’t.

Reluctantly you did let go. Words got caught in your throat, you had so much you wanted to say so much you wanted to ask. Almost like he could read your mind, Taron brushed the tip of his nose against your placing one quick kiss on your lips.

“Well that was something.” He whispered.

You agreed with him with a wide smile on your face. Both out of breath. The two of you couldn’t hold back a small laugh. You leaned forward and rested your forehead on his. Your hands wandered to his back and neck drawing all kinds of shapes.

“Seems like we just wasted several months of our lives.” You hummed silently feeling content.

“I think we did!” You could feel Taron’s chest vibrate from a laugh. You leaned into him wanting to be closer if that was humanly possible. This feeling right here was everything. “I love you” He whispered.

You let out a deep sigh and leaned into kiss him once more. You weren’t planning on stoping anytime soon, not that he would let you. You weren’t going anywhere. You belonged right here with him. You knew it was still incredibly early but you knew things were on the way up. You could feel it. The spark was back in your eyes and you couldn’t wait to see what was going to happen next.

Tag List -

@primaba11erina @hitmeonmytspot @fuseburner @autumnslovex @tiffleen @y0ungandfuckingdumb @huathmoon94

A/N -

Thank you everyone for your love and support. I am very saddened to say that I have one more part left of this wonderful journey. I can not thank you all enough for all the kind words I have received. I will be opening up a request box soon, so if anyone has any requests or one shots they would like written I’m all ears! I hope you have a wonderful week x

#taron egerton #taron egerton fanfic #taron x reader #taron fanfiction #taron egerton imagine #taron egerton fanfiction #taron egerton drabble #Taron X You #Fanfiction #TheAssistant

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mightyfineblog · 5 years ago

Text

Staying in Tonight

Taron Egerton x Reader

“I was thinking you know,…”I checked myself in the mirror.

“How busy we both are…” I sighed and looked over my shoulder.

“I absolutely agree, darling.” Taron smiled at me from over the bed.

“Does it ever slow down?” I dragged myself to the edge of the bed.

He looked up from his computer and furrowed his eyebrows. After a moment of thought he smiled.

“Eventually it will.” I cheekily moved up and sat next to him.

“You look lovely, let me take a look at you.” He put the laptop down and eyed me from where he was sitting.

“Aw, thank you, love.” I blushed a little.

“Come over here, do a little spin for me.” His low voice, oozed like a command to me.

I bit my lip and slid off the bed. Stretching my arm over my head on the frame of the door, I stroke a little pose.

“Bloody heavens, darling. Spin around, baby doll.” He getting excited got me excited.

“This little number does really wonders on you. I approve of the deep slit. Shows your leg perfectly. Too much even.” He chuckled, drooling over my new satin dress.

“Let’s see what we’re working with here.” He sassily made his way to me.

“Hmm. Mhm. Okay. Mhm” He judged with a lifted eyebrow, trying to play a little game.

“What about my hair?” I flipped it in his face with a half spin on my heel.

“Ravishing.” He whispered, inhaling if from behind my neck.

“And your skin is glowing.” His fingertips brushed over my shoulder.

His other hand gently wrapped around the small of my waist and swiftly turned me around. In less than a second I was in my boyfriend’s arms. So comforting.

“You are doing my head in tonight.” His eyelashes flicked, as I could feel his heartbeat.

“Wait til I do this.” I smirked before tipping on my toes and pressing my lips against his.

Placing a few small kisses at the corners of his mouth, he finally responded back. He kissed me back with more pressure. His lips felt tantalizing and sweet.

“I can never get enough of those cute lips of yours.” He smiled before biting my upper lip, which made me let a tiny squeak.

“Someone’s needy tonight…” I remarked, as his lips moved from mine down to my neck and my sternum.

“Hey with the dress.” I giggled pulling his head off me.

“Let’s stay in tonight.” His breath was hot on my neck, and his hands roaming around my bum.

“Yeah?” I pulled away, placing my hand on his chest.

“I’m more of a ‘let’s get cozy under a duvet and watch a movie’ sort of guy, anyways.” He licked his lips, while his hands were pressing my hard against his body, rocking us a little bit.

“Except, we’ll hardly even get to the telly.” I chuckled, knowing exactly where this is going.

“Ah, that’s my girl. Come here, baby doll.” He pulled me in for a kiss.

#here comes my first ever taron egerton writing #taron egerton #taron egerton x reader #taron egerton x you #taron egerton x I #taron egerton oneshot #taron egerton fluffy #taron egerton fanfiction #taron egerton drabble #taron egerton imagine #taron egerton headcanons #taron egerton fic #taron egerton smut #taron egerton fanfic #taron egerton stay at home

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captainmarvels · 8 years ago

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Say What?

Summary/Request: Why must he be like this?

Pairing: Taron Egerton x reader

Warnings: nothing but pure floof

Word Count: 570 [sorry its so short, yikes]

A/N: I’m so in love with this man; hope y’all enjoy! || main masterlist

“You’ve gotta teach me, baby.” You meet your boyfriend’s gaze, the sly smirk on his lips making you laugh as he just shook his head. “Why not?” You asked, pouting.

“Because, darling. I’ll never let you live it down if I try to teach you!” Taron bursts out laughing, and all you can do is roll your eyes as you playfully punch him in the arm.

“C’mon, Egerton! Teach me!” His eyes are closed, his hand over his heart as he tries to calm down, a few giggles still escaping him as he finally meets your gaze.

“You really think you can do it, darling? I don’t think you’ve even seen how it’s spelt!” He grins, chuckling as you shrug your shoulders.

“Write it out, c’mon. We haven’t got all day.” You nudge him in the arm, and he raises his hands up in defense.

“Baby, this is going to take far more than a day, I can assure you of that.”

“You’re joking, right?” You say, your eyes wide as you scan over the jumbled mess of letters on the computer screen in front of you. Taron’s leaning back on the couch, his arm resting behind you.

“No joke, darling. I warned you. Ready?” He chuckles again, and you shoot him a dirty look over your shoulder.

“I was born ready, mate.” He smiles, sitting up.

“Alright, mate, this is how you pronounce it: Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.”

Taron can’t suppress his laughter as he watches your mouth drop open, a gasp escaping you as your eyes widen even more.

“Llan- what?! You’ve got to be making this up!” You whisper-shout, your hands on your face as you look at him in shock. Taron cannot stop laughing, and you can’t help but join in, too.

After a few more minutes, Taron’s wiping at the tears of laughter that have escaped, and he takes your hands in his, facing you.

“I don’t know if I can pronounce it slowly enough for you, my love, but I promise I’ll try.” You grin, covering your mouth with your hand as you try to stifle your laugh. Taron eyes you, his eyebrow raised as he tilts his head.

“If you say it again, I’m gonna end up pronouncing it like Jimmy Fallon did in that one interview you guys did.”

“Robin Williams, soliloquy, yeah?” You nod, quietly giggling as Taron pulls you onto his lap, a smile gracing his lips. He cups your face, pressing his forehead against yours as you lean down.

“Silly girl, I told you it’d be hard,” He whispers, his lips ghosting over yours. You sigh, rolling your eyes as you meet his gaze.

“Silly boy, I wanna learn it for you.” Taron smiles at your words, his eyes fluttering shut as he closes the distance between you, capturing your lips with his. You grin, slipping your thumb onto his mouth as you pull away, stopping him from chasing after you. He looks down at your finger and then back up at you.

You laugh, shaking your head as he rests his hands on your hips, pulling you closer.

“No, Taron! Teach me how to say the name, and we can spend the rest of the night kissing.” He smirks, darting his tongue out at your thumb before you roll over onto the other side of the couch.

“Say no more, darling. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch is about to become your new favorite word.”

tags: @retroasgardian, @roamingharlem, @thesaraaaaahpfan, @avengershavethetardis, @buenostardissherlock, @riskybarnes, @storyofavengers, @imsecretlyromanburki, @buckyswife, @cassandras-musings, @nottheopera, @coltcas, @thefridgeismybestie, @rda1989, @callamint, @kaaatniss, @seb-ass-tian-stan-ws, @bootypoppinbarnes, @hollycornish, @h4izel, @charliexowrite, @kapolisradomthoughts, @stevnsbucks, @thewinterswimmer, @damnlokifangirl, @barnesvogue, @sebastian-stans-thighs, @capsheadquaters, @jobean12-blog, @theassetseyeliner, @buckys-fossil@worldsroses @yikesbuckster @mjuikoli @rotisserierogers@buckyappreciationsociety@supernaturaldean67 @milychetto @caramell0w @shhhs3cret @jacks-on-krack @buckyywiththegoodhair @unfoxs @mannatgalhotra @isaxhorror

#taron egerton #taron egerton fluff #taron egerton x reader #eggsy unwin #eggsy unwin fluff #eggsy unwin x reader #taron egerton reader insert #kingsman #taron x reader #taron egerton drabble #taron egerton fanfic #taron egerton fanfiction #taron egerton imagine #taron egerton one shot #eggsy unwin drabble #taron egerton smut #eggsy unwin smut #taron smut #eggsy smut

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thedeathdeelers · 3 years ago

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watching robin hood (2018) and crying because juke au for the love of GoD

#also crying cause taron egerton #the casting 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻#gonna dig up rosie’s drabble and reread it

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gigiwritess · 5 years ago

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— prompt & trope list —

p r o m p t & trope l i s t — m a s t e r l i s t

— under the cut you have a compilation of prompts and tropes I’ve created and found here on Tumblr and internet.

— don’t forget to check my fandoms post to see who and what I write for!

TROPES

1. Christmas

2. New Year

3. Valentine’s Day

4. Mother’s Day

5. Father’s Day

6. Wedding

7. Arranged marriage

8. Babysitter

9. Coffee shop

10. Book store

11. Fake dating/marriage

12. Forbidden love

13. Pet store

14. Parent

15. Teacher

16. Flower shop

17. Locked in a room

18. Bed sharing

19. Stranded due to weather

20. Next door neighbors

21. Bakery

FLUFF/GENERAL/ROMANCE

1. You seem like a bad boy/girl/person type. 2. Oh my god, did you just say that out loud? 3. You expecting someone? 4.Do you need a place to stay for tonight? 5. Look at us, we’re basically a couple already. 6. Compliments won’t pay my drinks. 7. Maybe, just maybe, if I get a free drink I might consider talking to you. 8. That won’t work. Try again. 9. You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions. 10. Do you trust me? 11. Can I kiss you? 12. It’s lonely here without you. 13. Is that my shirt? 14. You own my heart. 15. We’re more than friends and you know it! 16. I don’t wanna sleep alone tonight. 17. It was you the whole time. 18. I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending they’re you. 19. I’m not going anywhere. 20. You make me want things I can’t have. 21. Steal the blankets again and I’ll put my cold feet on you. 22. You’re in love with her. 23. I don’t know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge. 24. Are you even listening to me?! 25. I didn’t think you could get any less romantic. 26. You make everyday worth living. 27. You’ve shown me what love feels like. 28. You’ve always felt like home. 29. I can’t imagine a world/life without you. 30. I am home. 31. I’m right where I belong. 32. Can’t you stay a little longer? 33. You’re the only one I wanna wake up next to. 34. You make me want to be better. 35. I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me. 36. I think you’re just afraid to be happy. 37. Why haven’t you kissed me already? 38. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. 39. I can’t stay away from you. 40. I’m better when I’m with you. 41. I tried my best not to feel anything for you, but I failed. 42. I don’t want to be alone right now. 43. I don’t trust myself around you. 44. I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me before. 45. Can we just lie here for a moment? 46. I’ve never hated you. You just... make me feel things I don’t understand. 47. If you don’t tell me to stop, I’m going to kiss you. 48. I could get used to waking up next to you, actually. 49. Please, don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry. 50. You’re a terrible liar. 51. You’re the only person I want to be with tonight. 52. You’re not going anywhere. 53. You were always good for me. 54. You’re more than just a one night stand. 55. I’ve been falling in love with you since the first day we met.

ANGST & SAD

1. I can’t stand the thought of you. 2. Don’t fuck this up. 3. How stupid do you think I am? 4. You broke my heart and all you can say is sorry? 5. Don’t you dare to leave me. Not now. 6. I’m dying. There’s nothing you can do about it. 7. I’m not gonna lie. This isn’t how I planned for this to go down. 8. I can’t do the things you do. 9. I might never get another chance to say this. 10. Tell me I’m wrong. 11. How much of that did you hear? 12. I thought I could trust you. 13. Are you just going to leave me here? 14. Don’t. I don’t have to hear your pathetic excuses anymore. 15. You knew about this all along, didn’t you? 16. I still believe there’s a good person in you. 17. It was necessary. 18. I’m sorry this had to go down like this. 19. What the hell is wrong with you?! 20. Is that how little you think of me? 21. I’m too sober for this shit. 22. It’s not that easy. 23. You’re more than that. 24. She’s hot, but she’s evil. 25. Well, behaved women rarely make history, do they? 26. That’s not what I meant and you know it. 27. I have to tell you something. 28. Why am I not surprised? 29. She’s not yours. 30. There’s no us. There never was. 31. I made a mistake. 32. Please, don’t walk out that door. 33. When were you going to tell me? 34. The worst thing is, that even after all of that, I’m still in love with you. 35. Would you just shut up and listen to me for two goddamn seconds? 36. If i asked you to stay, would you? 37. I don’t know who you are anymore. 38. I trusted you. 39. Hang on. You’re gonna be okay. Keep breathing. 40. You crossed a line. 41. There’s no turning back from this. 42. I needed you, and you weren’t there.

SMUT — 18+

1. Don’t make me take you home and punish you. 2. I’ve never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly. 3. You’re more than just a one night stand. 4. Like what you see? 5. Try to stay quiet, understand? 6. We’re in public, you know. 7. I really don’t care. You still look hot and i’m trying not to kiss/fuck you senseless right now. 8. Are you sure? Once we start, i might not be able to stop. 9. Make me. 10. Stop teasing me so much. 11. You’re in trouble now. 12. First one to make a noise loses. 13. Mine. 14. Behave. 15. What did you just say? 16. Come here. 17. Watch me. 18. If you interrupt me one more time, so help me god. 19. If you insist. 20. Could he make you feel as good as i do? 21. You make a sound and its game over. 22. If i have to stop what i’m doing, you wont be able to walk for the next week. 23. I haven’t even touched you and you’re already this wet. 24. C’mere, you can sit on my lap until i’m done working. 25. What? Does that feel good? 26. If we get caught i’m blaming you. 27. We have to be quiet. 28. Tell me again. 29. Say it. 30. If you don’t like my teasing, then why are you moaning? 31. I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever even met that asshole. 32. You better shut that pretty little mouth before i put it to work, doll. 33. I really want to kiss you right now. 34. Then do it. 35. You’re not taking me to bed. Ever. 36. Who said it had to be on the bed? 37. She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but i bet behind closed doors she’s latex and whips. 38. Ah, he’s playing hard-to-get. Thats cute. 39. Don’t fucking touch what is not yours. 40. I’m not sure if its a sexual thing or not. 41. There’s people here. 42. I don’t care what you do, just fuck me. 43. Fuck you. 44. I’m not going to touch you unless you beg. 45. You can’t tease me like that and expect not to be punished. 46. I’m gonna strangle you. 47. Is that a promise? 48. You look a bit tied up, want me to come back later? 49. Stop distracting me. 50. I know for a fact that you can be a hell of a lot louder than that. 51. Saddle up doll. 52. What are you doing in my bed?! 53. If you're going to act like a little brat then I'm going to treat you like a little brat. 54. You'd better be quiet or everyone's going to know what a naughty little slut you are. 55. Look at you, I've only started using my fingers and you're already shaking. 56. I can't wait to be on my knees for you later. 57. Oh honey, you know, you really shouldn't tease me. 58. If you keep making those sounds I'm not going to be able to stop myself. 59. Such a needy little thing, aren't you? 60. You better watch your fucking mouth. 61. I love the way you look with my fingers inside you. 62. Wanna see what I'm wearing underneath all this? 63. I wonder what your girlfriend/boyfriend would do if they knew what you were doing right now. 64. Do you know how beautiful you are? It's truly distracting. 65. If you leave the house wearing that then the second you get back home I'm going to bend you over that bed. 66. I'm gonna fuck you in front of the mirror, I want you to see how pretty you look when you're spreading your legs for me. 67. Let me show you what happens to little brats who don't follow the rules. 68. You know, there wasn't a single thing to eat in the kitchen until you walked in.

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angelzrose · 5 years ago

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Mobile Masterlist

Welcome to my mobile masterlist! Here you’ll find the list of celebs and fandoms I write for. If you’d like a specific imagine, preference, or drabble, feel free to send in your request.

*Note: I don’t write any NSFW or smut stuff, so please don’t ask.

Dana XOX

✧༺ Imagines ༻✧

✧༺ Preferences ༻✧

✧༺ Drabbles ༻✧

Anne with an E

All

Gilbert Blythe

Buttercream Squad

All

Byron Langley

Caspar Lee

Conor Maynard

Jack Maynard

Mikey Pearce

Josh Pieters

Joe Sugg

Oli White

Celebs

All

Noah Centineo

Taron Egerton

Tom Holland

Zayn Malik

Shawn Mendes

Charlie Puth

Nick Robinson

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

All

Credence Barebone

Percival Graves

Newt Scamander

Theseus Scamander

Game of Thrones

All

Gendry Baratheon

Joffrey Baratheon

Tommen Baratheon

Ramsay Bolton

Theon Greyjoy

Jaime Lannister

Oberyn Martell

Podrick Payne

Jon Snow

Jojen Reed

Bran Stark

Robb Stark

Viserys Targaryen

Harry Potter Series

All

Cedric Diggory

Seamus Finnigan

Neville Longbottom

Harry Potter

Dean Thomas

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Ron Weasley

Oliver Wood

Magcon

All

Taylor Caniff

Aaron Carpenter

Cameron Dallas

Matthew Espinosa

Hayes Grier

Nash Grier

Carter Reynolds

Omaha Squad

All

Jack Gilinsky

Jack Johnson

Nate Maloley

Sam Wilkinson

One Direction

All

Niall Horan

Liam Payne

Harry Styles

Louis Tomlinson

Peaky Blinders

All

Luca Changretta

Bonnie Gold

Michael Gray

Isaiah Jesus

Arthur Shelby

Finn Shelby

John Shelby

Thomas Shelby

Alfie Solomons

Pretty Little Liars

All

Toby Cavanaugh

Jason DiLaurentis

Ezra Fitz

Noel Kahn

Mike Montgomery

Caleb Rivers

Slytherin Boys

All

Lorenzo Berkshire

Draco Malfoy

Theodore Nott

Mattheo Riddle

Tom Riddle

Blaise Zabini

Shadowhunters

All

Simon Lewis

Alec Lightwood

Raphael Santiago

Sebastian Verlac

Jace Wayland

Shadowhunters

All

Simon Lewis

Alec Lightwood

Raphael Santiago

Sebastian Verlac

Jace Wayland

Star Wars

All

Cassian Andor

Poe Dameron

Armitage Hux

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Kylo Ren

Bodhi Rook

Han Solo

Anakin Skywalker

Luke Skywalker

Supernatural

All

Gabriel

Gadreel

Jack Kline

Michael

Castiel Novak

Samandriel

Kevin Tran

Dean Winchester

Sam Winchester

Teamiplier

All

Mark Fischbach

Ethan Nestor

Tyler Scheid

The Chronicles of Narnia

All

Caspian

Edmund Pevensie

Peter Pevensie

The Originals

All

Lucien Castle

Elijah Mikaelson

Klaus Mikaelson

Kol Mikaelson

The Vampire Diaries

All

Matt Donavan

Jeremy Gilbert

Tyler Lockwood

Kai Parker

Damon Salvatore

Stefan Salvatore

Twilight

All

Quil Ateara

Riley Biers

Jacob Black

Embry Call

Jared Cameron

Seth Clearwater

Edward Cullen

Emmett Cullen

Jasper Hale

Paul Lahote

Alec Volturi

The Witcher

All

Geralt of Rivia

Jaskier

Why Don’t We

All

Jack Avery

Corbyn Besson

Zach Herron

Jonah Marais

Daniel Seavey

YouTubers

All

Ethan Dolan

Grayson Dolan

Finn Harries

Jack Harries

Jacksepticeye

5 Seconds of Summer

All

Michael Clifford

Luke Hemmings

Calum Hood

Ashton Irwin

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ikaris-whore · 5 years ago

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Christmas Crooning

Pairing: Taron Egerton X Reader

Prompt: this one is of my own volition and THIS post. Now it can live in all of your heads rent free too.

A/N: I hope I did good enough with a quick write up and you can see him doing literally every single piece of this.

While in quarantine, Taron picked up a few skills and one of those was finishing learning piano. You especially liked this because it lended to him serenading you more as you padded around the flat getting things ready for the holidays. Today you stood in the kitchen, the blue light from the Troubadour sign reflecting off the white counter as you made your to do list.

“Haave yourself aaa Mer-ry Lit-tle Christ-mas…” his voice started in first followed by the light playing of notes. Any time he started singing you stopped what you were doing to listen, whether it was on purpose or subconsciously you didn’t care so much.

You put the pencil you were using through your messy bun and left the pad of paper there on the counter, making your way into the main living space. His voice continued filling the space — getting louder with each line— and each note he played correctly instilled confidence in him and you could tell he was getting into it more.

Still holding back the full emotion he could put into the song he sang from the side of his mouth, one corner coming up as if he was smiling with his eyes closed, as he focused on the piano notes not noticing you in the doorway watching.

He finished the song and quickly started in on another: This Christmas. Another one slowed down, simplified notes pushed out under the pressure of his fingers tips on the ivories. It was then you decided to make your immediate presence known by walking over to him. You then pecked his cheek causing him to be startled and miss a note. “Keep playing.” You encouraged him in a whisper and he picked up just before he stopped, right into the chorus.

Sitting down on the bench beside him you joined in with him playing an accompanying tune with your left hand. The two of you sat there next to each other singing and playing together through the rest of the song exchanging smiles and soulful eyes with the lyrics— his voice overpowering yours as you still weren’t as confident as him in your voice despite him constantly encouraging you.

When finished he didn’t skip a beat, his hands moved from the white keys to your face, cupping it in his hands and pulling you towards him for a long, yet innocent kiss.

“Gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous you are.” His accent dragged out the O’s and you shook your head in his hands and your eyes glanced down away from his gaze. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” You whispered eyes floating back up to meet his. “Merry Christmas.” You smiled and leaned in for another kiss.

“Happy Christmas indeed.” Another press of your lips together before you suggested a snuggle on the couch under a blanket with a classic Christmas movie before you had to brave the snow outside to finish your list.

#taron egerton #Taron egerton x reader #taron egerton imagine #my writing #marvelousmeggi writes #don’t mind me I’m just putting two Drabbles out in one day #enjoy my little Taron lovers #and my fluff lovers

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holdmeclosertinytaron · 2 years ago

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RHW: Chapter Eight

Story Page / Playlist / Wattpad / AO3

A/N: I can't believe that we're nearing the end of Liliana and Taron's story (for now), but I'm also so excited to share the last four chapters with you. @brayndilyn and I both love how this chapter turned out, and I hope you feel the same.

Word Count: 7.1k

Warnings: Explicit language, mentions of childhood trauma, mentions of smut...

March 20th, 2022

Liliana woke up to the smell of toast wafting from the kitchen, and as she peeled her eyes open in the bright space of Taron’s bedroom, she could just about make out his figure stepping through the door, a tray balanced in his hands and a smile plastered on his face.

It wasn’t the first time she had woken up in his bed, but each time he walked into the room and saw her wrapped up in his sheets, he could barely contain the excitement bubbling in his belly. He knew that under the covers, she was still naked from the night before when they had made love over and over, only falling asleep when dawn had started to break.

He himself had only pulled his boxers over his legs so that he could go make breakfast without anybody in the flats across the street seeing his naked form. Lazy Sunday mornings in bed were quickly becoming a ritual that Liliana treasured.

Liliana reciprocated his smile, and slowly sat herself up in bed. A yawn escaped her but she only let one eye fall closed again. She wanted to watch Taron as he made his way to the bed and expertly pulled the legs of the tray down so that he could set it on the bed in front of her.

The tray was full. Taron had stacked six slices of toast on one plate for them to share. There were two mugs of tea filled to the brim, a smaller one for Taron and a larger one for Liliana. Her eyes widened in excitement at the sight.

On the smaller plates he’d put on the tray too was a pile of packets of butter, jam, nutella, honey and marmalade that Taron had taken from the last hotel he’d stayed at. He always insisted that he could need one at any given time, and they were helpful to have in the campervan.

‘Easier than taking big packs with me every time I want to go somewhere,’ he’d insisted whenever anybody asked him why he had so many.

‘This is a new tray,’ Liliana said as she ran her finger over the light wood finish. The old one had polystyrene balls at the base and wobbled everytime they moved an inch. The new one sat more sturdy and she didn’t have to hold onto it whenever she needed to shift herself to get comfortable.

Taron nodded as he climbed back into the bed beside her. ‘I bought a new one to make it easier for things like this. That other one was bothering me. I couldn’t so much as turn to kiss you without food going everywhere.’

‘You bought a new tray just so you could have breakfast in bed?’ Liliana asked as she reached forward for her mug of tea. Since she’d started to stay the night at Taron’s a couple of weeks before, she’d gravitated to one mug in the cupboard, and he’d quickly donned it hers.

‘No, I bought a new tray so that I could make you breakfast in bed whenever you stay here overnight,’ he corrected her with a smile.

Liliana shuffled over so that she could rest her head in the crook of his armpit, and Taron leaned forward to kiss the top of her head. They fell into a short silence as Taron shifted the tray so that he could let it go and it wouldn’t topple over while pulling the duvet over his legs, covering his bed and the toast he’d made with tea.

‘It’s not much today,’ Taron said apologetically as he plated three slices of toast for Liliana, offering her the butter, ‘I need to go food shopping. I’ve barely got time with being at the theatre as much as I am. And when I’m not at the theatre, I’m with you.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Liliana mumbled as she grabbed a couple of Nutella packets and the one random Biscoff packet he’d brought out. ‘I take up all of your free time.’

Taron dropped the slice of toast he was about to butter and twisted his body so he could cup Liliana’s cheeks in his hands. Her cheeks were warm against his hands, and her eyes fell closed for a millisecond.

‘I want to spend every waking minute with you,’ he told her when her eyes fluttered open again. ‘I was in no way trying to insinuate that spending time with you means I don’t have time. That’s not at all what I meant. If I could be with you every hour of every day, both awake and asleep, I would. I hate that being at the theatre pulls me away from you.’

Liliana shook her head at him. ‘No, I’m so proud of you and everything that you’re putting into this show. How about this? You make me a list of things you need from the shop and I’ll get them when I’ve finished my work for today. I can drop them off, put them away and then head back to mine.’

‘You won’t be here tonight?’ Taron asked. His eyes dropped and his shoulder slumped, and Liliana used her thumb to unfurrow his brows.

‘I didn’t want to assume that you wanted me here again.’

‘I always want you here.’

His voice was steady and Liliana knew that he was being sincere. She’d loved spending time in Taron’s flat and having more space to move around. Though she didn’t want to be a burden by overstaying her welcome. Not that Taron ever thought she was. He meant it when he told her that he wanted to spend every second with her.

‘I also only have one pair of clean underwear left so I need to go back and get some washing done.’

‘You don’t need underwear when you’re with me,’ Taron teased, nuzzling his nose against Liliana’s. ‘Now I’ve seen you naked, I would much rather you be naked around me all the time. I’ll return the favour, obviously. Who needs clothes?’

A blush rose to Liliana’s cheeks. The night before, Taron had taken his time undressing her, and loved on every part of her body. He’d kissed from her lips all the way down to her legs where he situated himself between them and kissed her in the place she felt it the most. Liliana had come undone with her hands tangled in his hair and her legs tightening around his head.

The thought alone was enough for her to shift to try and get some friction. Taron noticed and chuckled to himself, running his hand up her arm before going back to his toast.

‘As much as you would love that, I’m sure everyone at work would prefer it if I didn’t turn up tomorrow in three day old sweats and a t-shirt that I spilled curry on the other day.’

‘Everyone at work loves you so much that they wouldn’t bat an eyelid. You’re their shiny new money maker.’ Liliana groaned with a chuckle. ‘But I get it. If you want to go back to yours tonight and get yourself together for work, that’s fine. I’m sure I can handle one night away from you.’

‘I can’t,’ Liliana laughed, kissing his lips softly at first until he parted them with his own. ‘I want to come back, I just need to go and do my washing and grab some fresh work attire.’

She kissed him again and Taron leaned her back slightly before he pulled away just as quickly, leaving Liliana with puckered lips and closed eyes.

‘I do own a washing machine, you know? You are free to use it whenever you’d like. All it will cost you is-’

‘I swear if you say what I think you’re going to say,’ Liliana laughed, her finger in the air to stop whatever Taron was going to say. He laughed at her and wiggled his eyebrows playfully. ‘You are insatiable.

‘Only for you, Lil.’

***

When the toast was gone and Taron had moved the tray to sit on the floor next to the bed, Liliana buried herself back in the covers, pulling them up to her neck and breathing in the smell of Taron.

‘I don’t want to leave this bed,’ she moaned as she got herself comfortable again. ‘This moment is so perfect, I want to live in it forever.’

‘Then don’t. Come here, Love Bug.’

Taron’s new pet name made her insides turn to mush. She’d always loved to call Matilda Little Bug and Taron thought it would be fitting if Liliana became Love Bug. Liliana curled into his side happily, and started to stroke the hairs on his chest as he held her against him.

Her lips found his neck and as she pressed a series of kisses to his warm skin, the growing stubble tickling her chin and her hands wandering further south until she could feel how hard Taron was for her. Taron ran his hand down her back until he could grab her bum, pulling her in even closer and tangling their legs together.

She laughed into him as her kisses became more needy and Taron rolled them over so that he hovered over her. It took no time for him to enter her, and they fell into a rhythm, perfectly in sync with one another, until their moans filled the room and sweat beaded on their skin.

They came undone together and lay wrapped up in one another for a few moments in complete bliss, enamoured with one another and so content. Taron held Liliana against his body as they caught their breaths and he pressed delicate kisses to the top of her head while she lay curled up into him.

‘I don’t have to be at the theatre until later this afternoon,’ Taron said softly as Liliana pulled the covers back over her body to shield herself from the cool air of the bedroom.

“What did you have planned for the day, aside from that entirely unnecessary washing?”

“Nothing in particular, once I was done at my flat, I figured I could drop everything off here, and then I planned on getting coffee in Covent Garden or something and writing a bit because I want to get a head start on the second book before I come to see you tonight at the theatre. Why, what were you thinking?’

‘I thought maybe we could go out for a few hours? Maybe we could get lunch somewhere nice before I go to the theatre.’

‘There’s a burger place I wouldn’t mind trying in Leicester Square if you’re up for it?’ Liliana asked excitedly.

The thought of spending the rest of the morning and the first part of the afternoon with Taron was enough to make her want to jump out of bed and get ready.

Since getting back from New York, Liliana and Taron had spent pretty much all of their free time together. If Liliana had early morning meetings, she would stay the night with Taron so she was already closer to Central London, allowing her a coveted lay in and cuddles before heading off to work.

Taron had cleared out a drawer for her to store some spare clothes the first night she stayed over, and she’d done the same for him, deciding that she really didn’t need ten different workout sets when she barely worked out anymore.

If Liliana texted Taron late at night and told him that she was struggling to sleep, he would pick her up and take her back to his place where he knew she’d sleep comfortably, or if he was too tired, he’d crash at her place with her. Either way, she slept better with him by her side.

Taron always put one of his hoodies on in the morning if he knew that Liliana was going to be there, and sprayed his cologne on it before folding it neatly on the edge of the bed for when she got there. Without fail, Liliana would walk through the door, head to his bedroom for the hoodie and change into it before getting herself a cup of tea and curling up with a book until he got home.

Whenever Taron was at the theatre on days where he had two shows, he would send Liliana funny selfies of him falling asleep in his dressing room on his break, or photos of him and Jonathan pranking everyone else there.

If Liliana wasn’t in the office at any point, she would run to the theatre to take Taron a coffee and snacks, and to give him a quick kiss. On days where they were alone in the dressing room, and if Taron wasn’t too tired from rehearsing or performing, other shenanigans would occur.

They had so quickly fallen into a routine. Everyday they allowed themselves to grow more in love than the last. They were constantly learning new things about each other, and doing everything they could to show one another just how happy they were that they were finally together.

‘Burgers sound really good right now,’ Taron nodded happily, peeling the covers away from his body so that he could jump in the shower. ‘What’s it called?’

‘Honest Burger, I believe. It’s less than a two minute walk from the theatre, and there’s quite a few coffee shops nearby that I can go to and work before I get to the theatre.’

‘That sounds good.’ Taron leaned over the bed to kiss Liliana before he ran into the bathroom and turned the shower on. ‘Fancy saving water?’

***

‘Hey, Love Bug,’ Taron called sweetly as Liliana rounded the corner to the theatre. He waited at the stage door for her, and pulled her into a large hug when she got close enough. ‘Did you manage to get much work done?’

‘Enough,’ Liliana replied softly before she pressed her lips to Taron’s in a soft, chaste kiss. Despite feeling at first that it would be strange to kiss Taron whenever they saw one another, it felt natural to her. To them both. ‘I have what I think should be a pretty good plot down at least. I’ll see what Bea thinks tomorrow before I send it up to Martin.’

Taron nodded as he held the door open for Liliana to walk through. As she passed him, he tapped her bum and stifled a laugh when she guffawed at him.

‘You-’

‘Come on,’ he laughed as the door banged closed behind them, ‘let’s get upstairs where it’s a bit warmer. I’m glad you managed to get some work done though. Are you staying for the show still or do you need to get off?’

‘I’m staying.’

Liliana turned to Taron, standing at eye level thanks to the step she’d climbed onto. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss. Taron wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close, parting her lips and tasting the coffee she’d had while working.

‘You two need to get a room,’ a voice echoed down the stairs. Liliana pulled away quickly, already out of breath, and turned to the top of the stairs to see Jonathan Bailey fake gagging at them both. ‘Like seriously, can you keep your hands off each other for longer than two minutes at a time?’

‘You’re so funny,’ Taron deadpanned, resting his hand on the bottom of Liliana’s back so he could guide her up the stairs. ‘Come on, Lil, let’s go upstairs. We can chill in my dressing room for a bit before the show starts.’

‘Jonathan, do you want to join us? You can tell me all of those stories you said you had about Taron.’

Liliana stepped onto the landing and Jonathan immediately wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug.

‘I have new ones to tell you.’ The glint in Jonathan’s eye made Liliana beam and Taron stop in his tracks.

‘I’m not sure how I feel about the two of you being in cahoots,’ Taron said softly before he walked to Liliana and kissed her cheek. ‘He’s going to steal you away from me.’

Jonathan chuckled and kissed Liliana’s other cheek. ‘Don’t listen to him, darling. He’s just jealous of our ever-lasting love.’

‘You two are as bad as one another,’ Liliana laughed. She walked into the dressing room and immediately flopped onto the sofa near the window. ‘Now, whoever gets here first gets my undying attention for the next hour.’

***

Liliana looked around her in awe. Every seat in the theatre had been filled with people who were going to see Taron perform. She could tell that some of them were fans of his because they got giddy when he walked on stage, and Liliana smiled to herself, flashes of that morning playing around her head.

Unlike the first two times she’d gone to see the show, Liliana had booked her own ticket, and had chosen to sit in the very middle of the front row in the Circle. She wanted an unobstructed view for the first time she would be able to see the show from start to finish, and from where she was she could see Taron perfectly.

Whenever Taron averted his eyes up to where Liliana sat, she would wink at him softly, aching to see the ever so tiny upturn of his lips when she did. To everyone in the room, who was laughing when something funny happened and gasping when the lights suddenly went out, it looked as though Taron was finding a spot in the room to keep his attention.

Liliana watched the show and her heart ached. As she watched Taron and Jonathan fighting their emotions, and the struggle Jonathan’s character had over the desire to have children and start a family, Liliana felt the familiar pang of regret for not thinking about Matilda every waking hour.

Life after Christmas had been amazing for Liliana, and she’d been distracted by Taron and their budding relationship more than she would have thought. It wasn’t that she didn’t think about Matilda. It was more that Matilda wasn’t her first and last thought every day like she was before.

Liliana hadn’t seen Matilda since Boxing Day when she left Aberystwyth last, and as much as she really didn’t want to have to see her mum ever again, Liliana had to see Matilda. As the show came to an end and everybody stood up to give a standing ovation, which was entirely deserved, Liliana booked herself a train ticket home for two weeks later.

She knew that Taron would understand her need to go to Wales. If anything, she could see him offering to take her back in the car so she didn’t have to get the train.

But she needed to do it on her own. Matilda deserved to know why her big sister, who she loved more than anything else, wasn’t around much. Liliana wanted to explain everything to Matilda. Why she left Aberystwyth, why she left at Christmas, why she wrote the book. Matilda needed to know that it wasn’t her fault that Liliana didn’t go to Wales often.

Liliana stayed in her seat until most of the theatre was empty before she made her way down the stairs and towards the stage. Taron opened the hidden doorway and ushered Liliana in quickly.

She wrapped her arms around his body tightly the second she could and held him against her happily, breathing him in and kissing the spot of his neck she could reach without going onto her tiptoes.

‘I’m so proud of you,’ she mumbled into his skin as he pushed the door closed again. ‘So incredibly proud.’

‘I did alright then? I was weirdly nervous with you being in the audience. I wanted to be perfect for you.’

Liliana pushed Taron away enough to look at him fully. ‘You did amazing, baby. So amazing. I find the fact that you got nervous very sweet though. I have a gift for you as a congratulations on a great show, but it’s at home…in your bed…naked.’

Taron’s eyes lit up as he leaned down to kiss Liliana, his hands finding purchase on her rear. ‘That sounds fun.’

‘I’m going to Aber in a couple of weeks,’ Liliana said quickly. ‘I need to go and see Matilda. I’m sorry it’s last minute, and I hope you hadn’t made any plans but I need to-’

‘Lil, it’s okay. Do you need me to drive you there? I’m more than happy to. I’ll even come with you in general so that you’re not on your own in the house with Eliza.’

Taron knew how hard it was for Liliana to go back to Aberystwyth in general, but he knew with the way she’d told him she needed to see Matilda, her eyes not quite as sparkly as they normally were when her sister was mentioned, that she was going to talk about important things with her, and he knew how difficult that conversation would be for Liliana.

Liliana smiled at him softly and leaned herself against him, her hands gripping the hem of his t-shirt tightly. ‘I’ll be okay,’ she mumbled against him. ‘I need it to just be Matilda and I when I talk to her. And I need to go back and spend the time with Matilda without being distracted by you and your body, and your lips.’

Taron leaned down to kiss her softly before he nodded in understanding.

‘I also couldn’t possibly pull you away from work. Not after I saw you perform tonight.’

It was then that Taron realised just how much Liliana would always put everybody else first, and he decided that he would always put her first. He wouldn’t allow her to become an afterthought any longer. She deserved to be put first and to be somebody’s priority, and Taron was going to make her his.

‘You should have heard the group of girls in the row behind me. They kept giggling and ogling you the entire time. And when you looked at me, they thought you were looking at them and would fangirl so hard.’

‘I spent my entire performance ogling you, Love Bug. They weren’t even on my radar. But I’m glad they got a kick out of my love for you. If you don’t need me there with you, do you want me to drive you?’

Liliana shook her head. ‘I’ve booked a train. Thank you though. I leave on the 8th and come back on the 15th.’

‘You’re going for a week?’ Liliana nodded. ‘Are you sure that you’re going to be okay for that long on your own? I’m only asking because I don’t want you to have to go through what you went through at Christmas again.’

‘I need to go for the week. I have too much to talk to Matilda about, and I’ve not seen her since Christmas which was a shit show anyway so I need to make it up to her. Eliza is working while I’m there anyway so she’ll see it as free childcare for Matilda with it being the school holidays, and I can make it so I have to see her as little as possible.’

Taron looked at Liliana sadly, kissing the top of her head as he linked their fingers together to walk up to the dressing rooms where they could get ready to go back to his flat. To go home.

‘I don’t like the sound of you being used as free childcare, Lil.’

‘That’s the thing,’ Liliana said with a soft smile, trying her best to show Taron that she was okay. ‘Eliza, which is now what I’m referring to her as, will see it that way. I see it as uninterrupted time with Matilda where I’m free to do whatever I want with her without having to ask permission. I’ve already got a list of things I want to do with her, including a girly shopping day and a cinema trip.

‘It’s going to be a week of Matilda being my only priority. I’ve emailed Martin and booked in a last minute week off work for ‘writing purposes’ so I have no work to do while I’m there. I will obviously call and text you all the time too but I want to spend as much time just Matilda and I as I can. It’s what she deserves.’

They rounded the corner into Taron’s dressing room and Liliana sat on the sofa near the window while Taron turned on the tiny shower in the corner of the room.

Liliana’s head fell to her shoulder as she looked at Taron in awe. Her breath caught in her throat when he pulled his t-shirt away from his upper half and pushed his trousers down his legs. He turned to her and smirked when he saw her gawping at him.

‘Like what you see?’

‘Yeah, I do,’ Liliana smiled happily.

Taron climbed into the shower after he’d taken his underwear off, but Liliana could still see him through the frosted glass door. She watched as he cleaned his body, her mind running to multiple different places, and her body aching to be closer to him.

April 8th, 2022

Taron reached behind his head awkwardly to shut off the alarm he’d set the night before. He wanted to take Liliana to the train station seeing as though she wouldn’t let him drive her back to Aberystwyth. Liliana had insisted that he didn’t need to because it would mean he was going out of his way before work and she was a grown woman who could get to a train station on her own, but Taron insisted that he wanted to take her.

In the end, he had persuaded her over to his side in a way that only he could, and she agreed to let him drive her to the station while she was putty in his hands. They hadn’t fallen asleep until it was past midnight, so Taron made sure to set an alarm himself so that they wouldn’t sleep in.

He turned back around and snuggled into Liliana who was curled up in his arms. Smiling down at her, Taron tried to burn the moment to his memory. In the four weeks since they finally got together, there hadn’t been a single night where they hadn’t slept in the same bed. Going a week without feeling the warmth of Liliana pressed against him, of him pulling her closer to him when he woke up in the middle of the night, of waking up to her snuggled into him happily sleeping, was going to be hard for him.

Not wanting to wake her up abruptly, Taron pressed his lips to Liliana’s to rouse her from her sleep. He continued to press kisses to her until he could feel her kiss him back, a soft moan of happiness vibrating through her, and even then he continued to kiss her until his second alarm went off five minutes after.

‘Come on, Love Bug, I think we should get up now if you want to make your train.’

‘But your bed is comfortable, and you’re here. If it weren’t for Matilda I would not be going today,’ Liliana mumbled against Taron as she pushed herself against him more. His skin was warm against her front and she wanted to run her hands down his chest and continue with the previous night’s activities, but Taron pulled himself away before she could. ‘What are you doing?’

‘I love you, and as much as I would love to start something fun right now, you really do have to get up and get ready to leave. Do you want something to eat before you go? In fact, ignore that, I’m going to go and make you some breakfast and a cuppa tea. What do you fancy?’

Liliana was groggy as she slowly began to sit up in the bed, pulling the covers over her chest to stop from being exposed to the cool air of the room. ‘Hmm, can I just have toast and a banana please? Oh and a coffee. A big coffee. I didn’t sleep much last night.’

‘And whose fault is that?’ Taron asked teasingly.

‘Oh absolutely yours.’

‘Whatever helps you sleep at night, Love Bug.’ Taron smiled as he leaned down to kiss her once more before he headed out to the kitchen to make breakfast.

They had just over an hour before they had to leave and Liliana’s suitcase was packed near the front door already, so all she had to do was get ready and then put her toiletries in the suitcase before she left.

She decided to take it steady getting ready so she grabbed one of Taron’s hoodies from his drawer and pulled it over her body, holding the sleeves like little paws in her hands. Walking into the kitchen, she smiled at Taron.

He smiled back at her when he saw her walk through and he motioned for her to sit at one of the barstools at the kitchen island just as he finished her cup of coffee.

Liliana took the mug from him when she had sat down and thanked him quietly before she took her first sip. Her eyes fell closed at the first drop of warmth hitting her tongue and she sighed in delight.

‘How are you feeling about the trip?’ Taron asked when he’d finished buttering toast and joined her at the island. ‘Are you ready?’

‘I’m excited to see Matilda, obviously. I love spending time with her and getting to see her, but I’m also so nervous. I’ve hidden this part of me from Matilda for so long and I’m so scared that she’s going to see me differently once she knows the truth.’

‘Being nervous is normal,’ Taron assured her as he kissed the back of her hand delicately, ‘but I’m sure it’ll all be okay. She won’t see you as anything other than her big sister who she loves. I saw the way she looked at you at Christmas, Lil. The love and pride she has over you won’t disappear just because you share your truth with her. If anything, it’ll grow.’

Liliana smiled sadly. ‘I hope so. I’m also nervous about seeing mum again. I haven’t seen her since Christmas when…well, you know.’

Taron’s hand lifted to rub Liliana’s back as she took a bite of toast. He could feel her leg shaking underneath the table and he wanted to wrap her up in bubble wrap and protect her from ever feeling that way again. He had promised to protect her and he worried that he wouldn’t be able to protect her when he was in London and she was in Aberystwyth.

‘I know, baby. I know. You know my mum’s door is always open. She’d be happy to see you while you’re there, if you have any free time. You could even take Matilda around and introduce her to the girls, I’m sure they’d get on like a house on fire.’

Liliana looked at Taron and gulped before she took a deep breath to try and calm herself. When she’d first woken up, all her nerves had been at the back of her mind, but the closer it got to leaving, the more her back heated up and her skin crawled with anxiety.

‘That would be nice. I was hoping to maybe take an hour to see her. I meant it when I promised that I wouldn’t be a stranger anymore.’

‘How can you be a stranger when you’re sleeping with her son every night?’ Taron asked playfully, leaning forward to catch Liliana’s lips with his own. ‘She’ll love to see you.’

‘She’s going to know,’ Liliana said when she pulled away from Taron’s lips to eat more. ‘She’s going to take one look at me and know that we’re together. I don’t have a poker face when it comes to Tina. You know that. She took one look at me at Christmas and I broke. Oh god.’

‘Relax,’ Taron laughed. ‘Everything is going to be okay. What time do you get back next week?’

Liliana was thankful for the change of subject, and immediately grabbed her phone to check her train times to get home.

‘My train gets into Euston at seven thirty. Am I coming back here or am I going back to mine?’

Taron swallowed his last piece of toast before replying. ‘I’ll pick you up and you can come back here. We’ll have a chilled night and you can tell me all about what you did with Matilda. How does that sound?’

‘It sounds as perfect as you.’

***

Liliana could see just how busy the train station was even from outside, and the nerves that Taron had worked so hard to ease for her came barreling to the surface again. Taron noticed immediately and unbuckled his seatbelt so he could lean over and pull her into his body.

‘You can do this,’ he whispered into her hair. ‘You are stronger than you think. You show me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days. I love you so much, Lil.’

‘I love you too, T. I’ll see you next week.’

Liliana kissed Taron three times on the lips before she opened her door and stepped out. Taron followed her and got her suitcase from the boot for her. He held her to him in a long hug before letting her go.

‘You’ve got this. I’ll see you next week. If you need me, call me. I’ll be there faster than you can say my name. I don’t care if I’m in the middle of a performance. You are my priority.’

Liliana smiled at him as she pecked his cheek and stepped towards the station. When she got to the door she turned around and saw Taron standing by his car still, his hand in the air waving to her. She blew him a kiss before walking through the doors and into the station where she found her platform and put her earphones in.

She spent the entire train ride listening to Harry Styles on repeat, thankful that his music helped subside the nerves, if only for a little while. When Sign of The Times came on, she smiled to herself as memories of her day in New York with Taron played on repeat in her mind.

As her mind wandered back to the best parts of the day in New York, she couldn’t stop her mind from also wandering back to the awful part of that day. With her anxiety already through the roof because of going home and having to be around Eliza, it was all too easy for the intrusive thoughts to creep in about Taron as well.

The past month with Taron had easily been the best of Liliana’s life. She had finally run into love rather than away from it, and Taron made her feel safer and more comfortable than anybody ever had before. But she was also acutely aware that the other shoe could still drop–and most probably would, given her track record–given the amount of baggage that she took into the relationship.

Taron was comforting and understood her life and how hard she had it now, but how would that change in a year? Or in five years? Or if they ever got married and had children? How long could he continue to be there for her before he began to resent her and the emotional damage she carried with her everyday?

Liliana was already so deeply and emotionally attached to Taron that she knew if, and when, he decided he’d had enough of her, that it would break her completely. That thought scared her more than anything else. She’d lost him before and it had broken her. To lose him again would shatter every piece of her.

Tears threatened to spill over as she let the intrusive thoughts ruin her mood even more than it was already, and it was only when the train jolted roughly around a bend that she snapped out of it and wiped the tears away. Harry was still playing through her earphones and she had to pause the music to come around.

She hadn’t realised that she had spent most of the train ride distracted by her thoughts, and that she was only thirty minutes away from Aberystwyth. She resolved herself to get her emotions under control so that she could be strong for Matilda, no matter the daggers that Eliza would throw her way throughout the week.

When the nerves come back and music does nothing to help, she opens her messages with Taron and scrolls back to find all of the photos and videos that Taron had sent to her over the weeks since they’d been together, including one that he sent her of Jonathan running around the theatre demanding to be called Viscount.

Liliana recalled each adorable text and all of the selfies Taorn had sent soothed her mind and put a big smile on her face. They had such a way of reassuring her that Taron cared for her deeply.

Wiping under her eyes, Liliana could only imagine how crazy she must have looked to everyone else on the train carriage with her, with her smudged mascara and smile. She chuckled to herself softly.

Just as she went to watch another video, a text from Taron came through and her heart fluttered at his name.

I love you. How are you feeling? Xx

Liliana took a deep breath before typing her reply to Taron, checking the carriage to make sure that the ticket conductor wasn’t on their way over.

I love you too. I won’t lie, I am shitting myself. But I don’t think I’m telling her today which is helping. I don’t want to put a damper on the entire trip. Might leave it until the night before I come home. Is that a bad idea? Xx

Liliana watched as the three dots appeared almost instantly underneath her message.

If you feel like that is going to help then do that, Love Bug. If you do decide that you need me there just text me okay? I meant it when I said I’ll be there faster than you can say my name. I promise you. You don’t have to be on your own for this. Or ever xx

That’s one of many reasons why I love you. I promise I’ll let you know if I need you. I’m almost in Aber now so I’ll message you later when I’m settled xx

Don’t forget my mum’s door is always open if you need it xx

***

April 13th, 2022

The first few days of Liliana’s trip back to Aberystwyth were filled with activities with Matilda, as she had promised herself to do.

She had bought train tickets to Birmingham so that they could have a girly shopping day in all of the big stores they didn’t have in Aber, and Liliana introduced Matilda to frappuccinos from Starbucks.

Taron sent Liliana money so that they could go for a meal while they were there, much to Liliana’s protests. They wound up eating in a fancy restaurant and Matilda couldn’t stop gushing about how much fun she was having, which Liliana was thankful for.

Liliana took Matilda to the cinema where they ate their weight in pick and mix, and drank more Tango Ice Blasts than they could count. On the way home they had to stop multiple times to use the toilet, and when they got back and had to eat the casserole that Eliza had made for them, they both looked at each other in regret before laughing and forcing the food down.

Matilda had crawled into Liliana’s bed most nights and slept curled up beside her, which Liliana loved. She’d never gotten to have sleepovers with Matilda and she’d hated it. Each time she felt the bed dip, she would scoot over enough for Matilda to climb in before wrapping her in her arms and holding her tightly.

They spent an unseasonably warm day at the beach where they built sandcastles and buried one another’s feet in the sand. They ate ice cream and fish and chips–which they had to shield from seagulls–and ran into the water and stayed until their feet went numb from the cold.

Matilda told Liliana all about school and her best friends, and the one boy she thought was cute. Liliana told Matilda about her time in school, and how she and Taron used to go to Constitution Hill all of the time to sit and watch the sea and talk about things they’d kept secret.

When Matilda asked Liliana if she could show her the hill, Liliana didn’t hesitate, though she did make sure that they went up in the funicular because she was too tired to walk all the way up. They sat in the same spot that Liliana and Taron used to sit in, and Liliana was tempted to tell Matilda about everything while they were there.

The hill had always been the place where she could reveal her secrets without feeling like they would get anywhere else. Everything she said was washed away with the sea, floating away so that she felt light. But as she looked at Matilda, who looked at the sea with the same awe that Liliana did, she knew she couldn’t ruin the moment.

On days where it was raining, they spent the day at home watching films and baking. One day they made pizzas for everyone and despite the tension between Liliana and Eliza, they all sat and ate together in the living room while watching The Princess Diaries, Matilda’s new favourite film.

Liliana had told herself to be strong for Matilda throughout the week and she had stayed true to her promise, even on the days when Eliza wasn’t working and would drop in her usual passive-aggressive comments at every opportunity. Liliana took each comment on the chin for Matilda’s sake, despite her instinct being to run out of the house and straight to Tina’s where she could wait for Taron to get to her and hold her close.

Between shows in a two show day, Taron Facetimed Liliana so that he could catch up with her but also so that he could talk to Matilda. She was just as enamoured by him as she was at Christmas, and she talked his ear off about school and the things she had done with Liliana.

The entire time, Taron listened intently and Liliana just watched the two from the side, smiling to herself. Matilda wouldn’t stop talking about Taron when they got off the phone, and had asked if they could talk to him again the next day.

Liliana had explained that he was busy with work but that she would ask when he was free next so that they could chat to him again.

Most nights before she fell asleep, and before Matilda joined her in her bedroom, Liliana would cry to Taron on the phone. She felt as though she had missed out on so much of Matilda’s life, and missed seeing her grow up from the tiny baby she first met to an almost teenager who had crushes. Taron could tell that Liliana struggled during their calls, and it broke his heart that he wasn’t there for her where he could hold her in his arms and soothe her.

‘I couldn’t ever live near Eliza again, but I wish I lived closer to Matilda,’ she told Taron one evening when he called her. ‘Does that even make any sense?’

‘It does, Lil,’ Taron replied softly. He’d just climbed into bed after work and rolled over to face Liliana’s side. He missed her more than he thought he would. ‘Do you want to go to my mums? I can text her now and tell her that you’re staying. My bedroom is probably all set up.’

‘I’ll be okay. I’ve promised Matilda that we’ll go out for breakfast tomorrow and I still have to tell her everything. Thank you though, honey.’

Liliana could hear Taron’s smile through the phone. And she could feel his anxiety and worry for her too.

‘You are an incredible big sister. You know that, right? The best big sister ever.’

‘You’re just saying that to make me feel better,’ Liliana pouted even though Taron wouldn’t be able to see. She’d hardly been there for Matilda and the guilt ate at her daily.

‘No I’m not. I’m not just saying that. Look at everything you’d done with her these past few days. You’ve travelled to Birmingham, you’ve spent time at the beach and gone to the cinema. You took her up the hill and made forts and homemade pizzas. You’ve watched all of the films she’s wanted to see and you’ve made sure that she knows you’re there.

‘You’ve done more with Matilda in these past few days than I can guarantee anybody has done with her in a long while. And she’s going to remember this time for the rest of her life, I know it. You didn’t see the way she looked at you when we Facetimed. She looks at you like you hung the moon and the stars specifically for her.’

‘If I could have, I would.’

‘I know you would have. Which is why you’re the best big sister.’

‘She turns eleven this year and I bought her a build-a-bear in Birmingham. I recorded a voice message telling her how much I love her so that she can squeeze it and hear my voice whenever she wants to. How sad is that?’ Liliana let out a breathy laugh as she snuggled further into the covers.

Time was ticking on and she knew that it wouldn’t be long before Matilda came crawling into bed with her. As much as she was excited to get back home and be with Taron, she would miss having her little sister go to her for comfort on a night.

‘That’s not sad,’ Taron said sincerely, and Liliana could hear the crack in his voice. ‘That is the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. And I’m getting choked up thinking about it.’

‘Aw, T, you’re adorable. Like a little teddy bear. I am also so sorry that I’m burdening you with all of this. You’re probably exhausted from work and now you’re on the phone with me and I’m foisting all this on you. Get some sleep. I love you.’

Liliana choked back her own tears because she wanted to be able to compose herself before Matilda came into her room.

‘You are never a burden, Liliana. Please don’t think that. And it isn’t a burden to share how you feel at all. You can always talk to me about anything. I’m always going to be in your corner, Lil. I hope you know that.’ Taron had hoped she could hear the sincerity in his voice.

After they said their goodbyes and shared how much they loved one another again, Taron knew that he had to do something special for Liliana when she got back to London. He began thinking of a way to surprise her and let her know how special she was not only to him, but to everyone important in her life.

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