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cyarsk5230 · 1 year ago

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NFL Offseason Theme Songs For All 32 Teams

The NFL offseason is not really an offseason at all. While February through August is slower than when NFL games are played during the fall and winter months, the NFL never sleeps. The NFL churns out storylines year-round, and the offseason is an incubator for the wildest narratives because all of it is based upon hope and projection rather than results.

To recap, I assigned a theme song to each NFL team to accentuate the need-to-know offseason happenings so far.

Arizona Cardinals

Kendrick Lamar Feat. Rihanna — “LOYALTY.”

Once upon a time, in 2019, the Arizona Cardinals then-head coach Kliff Kingsbury said, “Josh is our guy,” and, thankfully, the irony is preserved in this tweet. He was speaking of Arizona’s 2018 first-round pick Josh Rosen. By April 2019, the Cardinals used the No. 1 overall pick to draft his replacement, Kyler Murray. Rosen was traded to Miami, and that was that.

The Cardinals found themselves in eerily familiar territory this offseason. Again, they publicly declared their commitment to Murray, but questions remained because they had the No. 4 overall pick, and this quarterback-heavy class presented the opportunity to reset the quarterback contract clock. But Arizona’s promise wasn’t empty this time, and they bolstered their loyalty to Murray by using the No. 4 overall pick on Marvin “Maserati Marv” Harrison Jr., who should immediately help to optimize the flashes Murray has shown up to this point.

Atlanta Falcons

Usher — “You Make Me Wanna…”

Unlike the Cardinals, the Atlanta Falcons remained loyal to Kirk Cousins for approximately 45 days before Michael Penix Jr. made them wanna start a new relationship with him. Atlanta signed Cousins — a 35-year-old rehabbing a torn Achilles — to a four-year, $180 million contract with $100 million guaranteed. All evidence pointed toward Atlanta settling down with Cousins and using the No. 8 overall pick to get an immediate impact player to help the team maximize this Cousins window. But while Cousins was parading around to Atlanta United FC and Braves games, the Falcons were flying across the country to Washington to get to know Penix. Head coach Raheem Morris and general manager Terry Fontenot insist that Cousins “is our quarterback,” but using the No. 8 overall pick on Penix as Cousins’ successor left an unsuspecting Cousins reportedly “a bit stunned.”

Baltimore Ravens

Dionne Warwick — “Déjà Vu”

The Baltimore Ravens ace every offseason. In 2023, it was extending two-time MVP quarterback Lamar Jackson when it seemed their relationship was irrevocable. This spring, despite losing 15 players in free agency (and defensive coordinator Mike Macdonald to the Seahawks), Baltimore remained true to who they’ve always been — signing Derrick Henry, retaining Justin Madubuike, and drafting cornerback Nate Wiggins. But every season, the Baltimore Ravens come up short. Last season was the closest the Ravens have come to returning to the Super Bowl since winning Super Bowl XLVII to cap the 2012 season, but their league-best 13-4 run came to a sputtering end with an uninspired performance against the Chiefs in the AFC Championship Game. How long will this cycle continue?

Buffalo Bills

Ryan Gosling — “I’m Just Ken”

The Buffalo Bills have an alien at quarterback, and it doesn’t matter. Josh Allen is No. 2 to Patrick Mahomes. The Bills threw everything at the wall, and it doesn’t matter what they do because they are No. 2 — or closer to third or fourth, if the Bengals and Ravens have a say — to the Chiefs. At any other time, perhaps the Bills would be a ten. But the past three years, Buffalo’s season ended in the Divisional Round, twice to the Chiefs. This offseason was the Bills’ reckoning. The first iteration of the Allen-led, Super Bowl-contending Bills perished, as Stefon Diggs was shipped out to Houston, and other core players like Tre’Davious White, Jordan Poyer, and Micah Hyde left. The Bills will be viable as long as Allen is under center, but the Bills’ short-term Super Bowl chances took a hit in 2024.

Carolina Panthers

Paramore — “Ain’t It Fun”

This time last year, Bryce Young was presumably riding the euphoria of having just been drafted as a Heisman-winning quarterback prospect out of Alabama after Carolina moved heaven and earth to trade into the No. 1 overall spot. Hope, however faint, surrounded a new Panthers regime. Then, head coach Frank Reich was fired 11 games into a heinous 2-15 campaign in 2023. This offseason, Young is firmly acclimated to the realities of the NFL, where quarterbacks have approximately five minutes to prove worthy before teams give up on them, especially a franchise owned by David Tepper. The Panthers attempted to support Young by adding wide receiver Diontae Johnson and offensive guard Robert Hunt in free agency, and then drafting wide receiver Xavier Legette (No. 32 overall) and running back Jonathan Brooks (No. 46). But the weight of the world remains on Young’s shoulders.

Chicago Bears

Prince — “Controversy”

Ahead of last week’s NFL Draft, sportswriter Dave Fleming appeared on Pablo Torre Finds Out and said, “I will tell you, he scares the sh*t out of a lot of NFL teams, too. The book on him is he’s just kind of a weird kid. One GM told me it’s like if Prince played quarterback.” The anonymous GM probably intended for that to be an insult, but it is unequivocally the coolest compliment imaginable.

Like Prince, Williams challenges stale convention. His uninhibited self-expression makes people uncomfortable. His personality is perceived as controversial. Before the Bears shipped Justin Fields to Pittsburgh, there was controversy within Chicago’s fandom as to whether the Bears should keep Fields or start over with Williams. Predictably, the Bears drafted Williams No. 1 overall, and Williams is set up for success — surrounded by talented skill players like D.J. Moore, Keenan Allen, Rome Odunze, D’Andre Swift, and Cole Kmet. The Bears have done everything right this offseason — really, the past two offseasons. But people will manufacture controversies around Williams, even when he surely becomes the first quarterback in Bears history to throw for 4,000 yards and 30 touchdowns.

Cincinnati Bengals

Kid Cudi — “Sky Might Fall”

The sky is threatening to fall in Cincinnati. Wide receiver Tee Higgins reportedly demanded a trade but will likely play 2024 on the franchise tag. Defensive end Trey Hendrickson also reportedly demanded a trade. The Bengals traded running back Joe Mixon to Houston and lost defensive tackle D.J. Reader to Detroit in free agency. Such is life after signing star quarterback Joe Burrow to a five-year, $275 million and preparing to make Ja’Marr Chase a top-paid receiver. The first phase of the Burrow-led Bengals is over, but if the sky is falling, nobody told Burrow, who said during a live New Heights event that the Bengals are “built to beat” the Chiefs.

Cleveland Browns

Olivia Rodrigo — “get him back!”

Publicly, the Browns will likely gush about how excited they are to get quarterback Deshaun Watson back after his season-ending shoulder surgery in 2023. Privately, I’m willing to bet there’s a group text full of Browns-adjacent people wishing they could plot revenge against everyone involved in 1) trading for and 2) shelling out a fully guaranteed five-year, $230 million contract to an embattled Watson in 2022. Watson’s time in Cleveland has been defined by an 11-game suspension, injuries, and putrid quarterback play. Watson is holding back an otherwise solid Browns roster, and the Browns can’t get him back for it until 2026.

Dallas Cowboys

The Weekend, Playboi Carti, and Madonna — “Popular”

Jerry Jones desperately wants to be popular. If presented with the choice between winning next year’s Super Bowl or securing eternal popularity, I’m convinced Jones, in his most honest moment, would choose the latter. Jones swore the Cowboys would be “all-in” with their approach to this offseason, but they have objectively been anything but. Dallas made six moves in free agency. Dallas does not appear close to extending quarterback Dak Prescott, pass-rusher Micah Parsons, or wide receiver CeeDee Lamb — setting Prescott up to be an unrestricted (in every sense of the word) free agent next year. But why handle any football business when Jones and, by extension, the Cowboys are in the relevancy business? For Jones, any offseason in which the media is regularly discussing the Cowboys is a successful offseason.

Denver Broncos

Alexander 23 — “Crash”

The Denver Broncos dumped Russell Wilson. And they didn’t just dump him. They decided it was worth $85 million in dead money just to get him to go away. In 2023, first-year Broncos head coach Sean Payton marginally improved Wilson’s performance. Payton developed a reputation as a quarterback guru as the head coach with the New Orleans Saints, and Wilson used to be a great quarterback before inexplicably becoming unrecognizable in the pocket. As Alexander 23 sings, “Apart we’re great, but together we suck / I’m sorry for the way it ended, but ending it, baby, not so much / ‘Cause me and you weren’t built to last / We were two fast cars on our way to crash.” And so, Bo Nix is set to be the 14th Broncos starting quarterback since Peyton Manning’s 2016 retirement.

Detroit Lions

Eminem — “Lose Yourself”

The Lions are in Eminem’s second verse of “Lose Yourself”: “This world is mine for the taking, make me king / As we move toward a new world order.” The lowly Lions are dead after winning their first playoff game in 32 years and narrowly missing a Super Bowl LVIII appearance. A well-earned target is affixed to the Lions’ back, and they aren’t going anywhere. They extended general manager Brad Holmes and head coach Dan Campbell, and they continued bolstering the roster, including an extension for Amon-Ra St. Brown. Detroit football fans are losing themselves in this long-awaited culmination, breaking the all-time attendance record at the 2024 NFL Draft.

Green Bay Packers

Lil Wayne — “Let The Beat Build”

One day, the terms of the Packers’ deal with the devil will be disclosed. It is the only explanation for 30 consecutive years of great (or solid, at least) quarterback play in Green Bay — Brett Favre funneling directly into Aaron Rodgers, funneling directly into Jordan Love. As Lil Wayne rapped, “They diminish, I replenish.” Green Bay epitomizes steady construction — letting the beat build, if you will — and the 2023 season was a microcosm of that identity.

In his first full season as a starter, Love, 25, started out shaky but slowly came into his own and showed as much promise as anyone while leading the Packers to a surprising playoff run. With an average age of 25.7 years, the Packers are the NFL’s youngest team and ahead of schedule yet right on time. Green Bay additionally prioritized youth this offseason by releasing running back Aaron Jones, 29, and in favor of signing Josh Jacobs, 26, as well as 24-year-old safety Xavier McKinney, in free agency. All-Pro offensive tackle David Bakhtiari, 32, was also released, and the Packers used the 25th overall pick on offensive lineman Jordan Morgan.

Houston Texans

SZA — “Snooze”

The Texans can’t snooze and miss this moment while emerging worldly quarterback C.J. Stroud is relatively cheap on his rookie contract. And they know it. Houston traded for Pro Bowl running back Joe Mixon and All-Pro receiver Stefon Diggs, and then bolstered the defense by signing Danielle Hunter and Denico Autry in free agency. After impressive rookie campaigns from Stroud and head coach DeMeco Ryans, Houston is positioned as a potent threat in the AFC.

Indianapolis Colts

Nine Days — “Absolutely (Story Of A Girl)”

This song is about one girl, but it applies to the Colts when divvied up between owner Jim Irsay and second-year quarterback Anthony Richardson. Irsay is a boisterous figure who seems to always be the subject of a headline that could have been generated by MadLibs. Presumably, Irsay’s presence places a strain on the franchise. It’s probably really stressful for general manager Chris Ballard or head coach Shane Steichen, but one smile from Richardson after an absurdly athletic touchdown, and everything feels better. The Colts’ 2024 and beyond depends on Richardson’s rehab from season-ending shoulder surgery, but you have to absolutely love the potential of this young core.

Jacksonville Jaguars

21 Savage — “a lot”

Credit where credit is due, Jacksonville was aggressive in response to fumbling away the AFC South and missing the playoffs entirely last season. The Jags signed the likes of defensive tackle Arik Armstead, wide receiver Gabe Davis, and center Mitch Morse in free agency, and then they extended Pro Bowl pass-rusher Josh Allen before drafting LSU receiver Brian Thomas Jr. at No. 23 overall. But…

How much money did the Jags spend in free agency? A lot. How many question marks remain in Jacksonville? A lot. How many people are doubting 2021 No. 1 overall pick Trevor Lawrence as a paradigm-shifting quarterback of the future? A lot.

Kansas City Chiefs

Taylor Swift — “Look What You Made Me Do”

Taylor Swift’s historically prolific discography is more or less exclusively licensed to the Chiefs due to her ongoing romance with Travis Kelce, so it would be negligent not to use it.

The league let the Chiefs become the first back-to-back Super Bowl champions in two decades despite rostering an oft-ridiculed wide receiver corps in a “down year.” (Or, quarterback Patrick Mahomes and a nasty defense snatched it, depending on your perspective.) The Chiefs had to go on the road during the playoffs for the first time in Mahomes’ career, and they internalized every ounce of doubt — real or perceived — and plowed to their third Super Bowl in five years (“I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time / Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time”). Had the Chiefs not won Super Bowl LVIII, perhaps they let Chris Jones walk in free agency, but because an unprecedented three-peat and football immortality is now on the table, the Chiefs uncharacteristically made Jones the highest-paid defensive tackle with a five-year extension. And as if Kelce wasn’t already living the most charmed life imaginable, the Chiefs went ahead and made him the highest-paid tight end.

Las Vegas Raiders

Charli XCX — “Von Dutch”

In the week leading up to Super Bowl LVIII, Raiders star pass-rusher Maxx Crosby told Colin Cowherd that he was actually pulling for his in-division rival Chiefs to become the back-to-back champions because, even though he “hate[s] all the teams equally,” he wants the Raiders “to be the ones that take ’em down.” The following week, newly hired head coach Antonio Pierce joined Crosby’s podcast, The Rush, and repeatedly proclaimed his “hatred” for the Chiefs. Pierce shared his plan to institute “Patrick Mahomes rules” — a callback to the Detroit Pistons’ “Jordan Rules” — “as long as I’m here.” I imagine Mahomes and the Chiefs hearing all of this, hitting play on “Von Dutch,” and knowingly nodding along as Charli XCX sings, “It’s okay to just admit that you’re jealous of me / Yeah, I heard you talk about me, that’s the word on the street / You’re obsessin’, just confess it, put your hands up / It’s obvious, I’m your No. 1.”

Los Angeles Chargers

Tyler The Creator Feat. Playboi Carti & Charlie Wilson — “EARFQUAKE”

Tyler The Creator’s “EARFQUAKE” is about being “for real this time” because he “cannot fall short” again. It’s probably not far off from Justin Herbert’s inner monologue. Herbert has been put in positions to fail since he became their starter in 2020 — four head coaches, four offensive coordinators — but the Chargers hiring Jim Harbaugh is supposed to be different. For the past three-ish years, L.A. has been an offseason and preseason darling, but Harbaugh legitimizes Herbert and the Chargers as being for real this time.

Los Angeles Rams

Chris Brown — “Say Goodbye”

The Rams were never going to be ready for Aaron Donald, widely regarded as the most decorated defensive tackle ever, to say goodbye. But the day came on March 15 when Donald announced his retirement. The Rams will attempt to fill their Donald-sized hole with their first- and second-round picks Jared Verse and Braden Fiske.

Miami Dolphins

Dua Lipa — “Houdini”

To be fair, this song also suits the Cowboys, given the ambiguous contract situations with Dak Prescott, CeeDee Lamb, and Micah Parsons, but as is always the case when discussing the Cowboys, I couldn’t overlook Jerry Jones’ ego. Anyway, Miami is in a similar hell. This offseason, Miami felt the financial ramifications of spending big after acquiring Tyreek Hill in March 2022 to try and win within Tua Tagovailoa’s rookie contract window. Christian Wilkins, Robert Hunt, and Xavien Howard are among the starters they lost. Honestly, as a recovering commitment phobe, the Dolphins trigger me. Do you want to commit to Tua, or do you want to let him go? Are you going to live up to the hype before Hill’s contract expires, or are you going to continue to reinvent underachieving?

Minnesota Vikings

Beyoncé Feat. Miley Cyrus — “II Most Wanted”

At February’s NFL Combine, head coach Kevin O’Connell expressed there was a mutual interest in Cousins remaining the Vikings quarterback. But then, Cousins left for Atlanta in free agency, and the Vikings acquired an additional first-round draft pick — intending to trade up and get their future franchise quarterback. Cousins was grandfathered in as O’Connell’s quarterback when he took over as head coach in 2022, and it has been written all over O’Connell’s face how delighted he is to hand-pick his own ride-or-die (“Been a while since I haven’t tried to pull away / But it’s time for somethin’ new”). That is 21-year-old now-former Michigan quarterback J.J. McCarthy, whom Minnesota drafted at No. 10 overall. In Minnesota’s most idyllic projection, McCarthy and O’Connell (and Justin Jefferson) will ride together ’til the day they retire.

New England Patriots

Reneé Rapp — “I Hate Boston”

The end of a dynasty is always ugly. If reports are true, Patriots owner Robert Kraft has been doing the most to make Bill Belichick hate New England after they “mutually agreed” to end Belichick’s 24-year tenure as head coach. First, the Apple TV+ docuseries The Dynasty portrayed Kraft in a much more positive light than Belichick. Then, ESPN’s Don Van Natta Jr., Seth Wickersham, and Jeremy Fowler reported that Kraft actively dissuaded the Falcons from hiring Belichick as their next head coach. (Atlanta went with Raheem Morris, and Belichick did not get an NFL coaching job for 2024.) If that weren’t enough, Patriots safety Jabrill Peppers shared that Belichick-themed signs seem to have been removed from the team’s facility by the new regime led by rookie head coach Jerod Mayo. If the Patriots struggle as much as is projected in the coming years, Mayo and No. 3 overall pick Drake Maye might hate Boston, too.

New Orleans Saints

Destiny’s Child — “Bills, Bills, Bills”

The New Orleans Saints always owe someone money. No NFL team more frequently has chronically due bills because the Saints are constantly borrowing from the future and ignoring the concept of a salary cap. As such, the Saints remain in cap hell while hurtling toward oblivion.

New York Giants

Post Malone — “Circles”

The Giants are in a self-inflicted loop with quarterback Daniel Jones. Last March, they made the baffling and indefensible decision to give Jones a wholly unnecessary four-year, $160 million ($92 million guaranteed) contract. Jones only played six games last season for the dismal Giants, but the Giants can’t move on from him because of that contract. General manager Joe Schoen has expressed pretty lukewarm faith in Jones moving forward, but NFL Network’s Ian Rapoport reported that New York “made one last-ditch effort” to trade into the Patriots’ No. 3 overall pick in an effort to select Jones’ replacement.

New York Jets

Daniel Caesar — “Pain Is Inevitable”

Jets fans know that pain is inevitable. Jets fans know their beloved football team has needed “a lesson in mishap prevention” for the better part of 50 years. Aaron Rodgers was supposed to be the savior last offseason, but he lasted four snaps before rupturing his Achilles and missing the entire season. Forty-year-old Rodgers will return for 2024 — conspiracy theories, distracting rhetoric, and vice presidential rumors in tow — but the Jets’ solution to fix an older, injury-prone roster was to sign older, injury-prone free agents, such as wide receiver Mike Williams and offensive tackle Tyron Smith. The Jets had a surprisingly prudent draft, but it won’t matter. Because the Jets are the Jets, and Rodgers is preoccupied.

Philadelphia Eagles

The Kid Laroi — “What Just Happened”

The Philadelphia Eagles suffered a confounding unraveling to end the 2023 season, losing five of six to finish the regular season only to get embarrassed 32-9 by Tampa Bay in the Wild Card Round. All-Pro center Jason Kelce and All-Pro defensive tackle Fletcher Cox retired. Philadelphia began triage by choosing to forgo flirting with Bill Belichick and retaining Nick Sirianni as head coach. Sirianni hired new coordinators (Kellen Moore, Vic Fangio), and general manager Howie Roseman demonstrated his annual wizardry with big-time signings, such as running back Saquon Barkley, safety C.J. Gardner-Johnson, wide receiver DeVonta Smith, and wide receiver A.J. Brown. Then, Philly’s draft was targeted to address the defensive secondary, their most glaring weakness last season. It’s been a lot to process, and I don’t know if the Eagles crossed the line because I don’t even know what just happened.

Pittsburgh Steelers

Billie Eilish — “What Was I Made For?”

Russell Wilson is a shell of his Super Bowl-winning self. Wilson left the Seattle Seahawks for Denver in 2022 and proceeded to play himself out of the Hall Of Fame. He used to float, now he just falls down. Signing a one-year deal with Pittsburgh is probably Wilson’s final chance at resurrecting what’s left of his ability, and he will share the quarterback room with former Bears No. 1 pick Justin Fields, who is also trying to redirect his NFL trajectory. And looming over them will be the Steelers’ overarching identity crisis.

San Francisco 49ers

Justin Bieber — “At Least For Now”

At least for now, the 49ers are still Super Bowl favorites, despite losing to the Chiefs in the Super Bowl twice in the past five years. At least for now, head coach Kyle Shanahan gets the benefit of the doubt. At least for now, the 49ers don’t have to allocate substantial long-term money to “Mr. Irrelevant”-turned-MVP candidate Brock Purdy. At least for now, Deebo Samuel and Brandon Aiyuk are still in San Francisco, and the 49ers can avoid the disappointment of having to make tough decisions about their aging and expensive core in 2025. The only thing that could alleviate that disappointment would be absolving the persistent disappointment of not having won a Super Bowl in 30 years.

Seattle Seahawks

Tori Kelly Feat. Jon Bellion — “Young Gun”

This song goes out to Pete Carroll. At 72 years old, Carroll was the oldest head coach in the NFL. In January, he told the press that he planned to continue coaching the team. Shortly thereafter, Seattle swapped him out for “a young gun from another town,” the Ravens’ 36-year-old defensive coordinator Mike Macdonald, who is now the NFL’s youngest head coach. In a meager attempt to soften the blow, Seattle kept Carroll around as “an advisor.”

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Migos Feat. Drake — “Walk It Talk It”

Tampa committed to 2018 No. 1 overall pick-turned-journeyman Baker Mayfield with a three-year, $100 million contract. Mayfield was known as a talker before arriving in Tampa last year, but he revived his career (and recaptured his swagger) through mature leadership. Meanwhile, nobody would have blamed superstar wide receiver Mike Evans if he wanted to explore free agency and sign with a team primed to contend for a Super Bowl, but he proved his commitment to spend his entire career with the Bucs by re-signing on a two-year deal. The Bucs have expertly maneuvered these bridge years post-Tom Brady — remaining in the mix rather than totally bottoming out.

Tennessee Titans

Kacey Musgraves — “Slow Burn”

Titans fans are going to need patience. Yes, Tennessee made free-agency splashes with L’Jarius Sneed, Calvin Ridley, and Tony Pollard, but first-year head coach Brian Callahan will need time to build out his program in the wake of Mike Vrabel. The Titans have been in “slow burn” territory regarding quarterback for quite awhile. Heading into 2024, it’s far from guaranteed that Will Levis is the guy at quarterback.

Washington Commanders

Liz Phair — “Why Can’t I?”

Washington took 20-plus prospects on a group date to Topgolf, but, as NFL reporter Tom Pelissero relayed on The Rich Eisen Show, “One of those four quarterbacks who visited for the Topgolf trip got picked up by [head coach] Dan Quinn, and the other ones took a shuttle bus to the hotel.” I enjoy envisioning an awkward group date during which reigning Heisman-winning LSU quarterback Jaden Daniels and Commanders brass locked eyes intermittently with an unspoken anticipation for their inevitable partnership, beginning with the No. 2 pick in the 2024 NFL Draft. Washington has butterflies for Daniels, who symbolizes the dawn of a hopeful future after finally breaking free from a toxic 24-year relationship with former owner Dan Snyder.

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sridharm-1980 · 1 year ago

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🏆 | @UPROXX predicts Taylor Swift to win “Album of the Year” & “Song of the Year” at this year’s #GRAMMYs

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cyarskaren52 · 1 year ago

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Taylor Swift Dominates The 2024 iHeartRadio Music Awards Nominations, As Do SZA, 21 Savage, And Others

The iHeartRadio Music Awards unveiled their 2024 nominations today, January 18. Taylor Swift is leading the way this year, with a total of nine awards that she’s up for, including the coveted Artist Of The Year. Close behind her with eight nominations are SZA, Jelly Roll, and 21 Savage.

Basically, the categories are stacked, and it truly is anyone’s game. The awards show will take place on Monday, April 1 at 8 p.m. ET, and will air live on FOX.

Continue scrolling to see a complete list of this year’s nominees (via Billboard).

Song Of The Year

“Calm Down” – Rema and Selena Gomez

“Creepin'” – Metro Boomin with The Weeknd and 21 Savage

“Cruel Summer” – Taylor Swift

“Dance The Night” – Dua Lipa

“Fast Car” – Luke Combs

“Flowers”- Miley Cyrus

“Kill Bill” – SZA

“Last Night”- Morgan Wallen

“Paint The Town Red” – Doja Cat

“Vampire” – Olivia Rodrigo

Artist Of The Year

Drake

Jelly Roll

Luke Combs

Miley Cyrus

Morgan Wallen

Olivia Rodrigo

Shakira

SZA

Taylor Swift

Usher

Duo/Group Of The Year

(G)I-DLE

Blink-182

Dan + Shay

Fall Out Boy

Foo Fighters

Jonas Brothers

Måneskin

OneRepublic

Paramore

Parmalee

Best Collaboration

“All My Life” – Lil Durk ft. J. Cole

“Barbie World (with Aqua)” – Nicki Minaj and Ice Spice

“Boy’s a liar Pt.2” – PinkPantheress and Ice Spice

“Calm Down”- Rema and Selena Gomez

“Creepin'” – Metro Boomin with The Weeknd and 21 Savage

“Good Good” – Usher, Summer Walker and 21 Savage

“Rich Flex” – Drake and 21 Savage

“Thank God” – Kane Brown and Katelyn Brown

“Tomorrow 2” – GloRilla with Cardi B

“TQG” – Karol G and Shakira

Producer Of The Year

Carter Lang

Dan Nigro

Jack Antonoff

Kid Harpoon

Rob Bisel

Songwriter Of The Year

Aldae

Ashley Gorley

J Kash

Jack Antonoff

Michael Ross Pollack

Pop Song Of The Year

“Calm Down” – Rema and Selena Gomez

“Cruel Summer” – Taylor Swift

“Flowers”- Miley Cyrus

“Kill Bill” – SZA

“Vampire” – Olivia Rodrigo

Pop Artist Of The Year

Doja Cat

Miley Cyrus

Olivia Rodrigo

SZA

Taylor Swift

Best New Artist (Pop)

David Kushner

Doechii

Jelly Roll

Rema

Stephen Sanchez

Country Song Of The Year

“Fast Car” – Luke Combs

“Heart Like a Truck” – Lainey Wilson

“Last Night” – Morgan Wallen

“Rock and a Hard Place” – Bailey Zimmerman

“Thank God” – Kane Brown and Katelyn Brown

Country Artist Of The Year

Jason Aldean

Jelly Roll

Lainey Wilson

Luke Combs

Morgan Wallen

Best New Artist (Country)

Corey Kent

Jackson Dean

Jelly Roll

Megan Moroney

Nate Smith

Hip-Hop Song Of The Year

“All My Life”- Lil Durk ft. J. Cole

“Fukumean”- Gunna

“Just Wanna Rock” – Lil Uzi Vert

“Rich Flex” – Drake and 21 Savage

“Tomorrow 2”- GloRilla with Cardi B

Hip-Hop Artist Of The Year

21 Savage

Drake

Future

Gunna

Lil Durk

Best New Artist (Hip-Hop)

Doechii

Ice Spice

Lola Brooke

Sexyy Red

Young Nudy

R&B Song Of The Year

“Creepin'”- Metro Boomin with The Weeknd and 21 Savage

“CUFF IT”- Beyoncé

“Good Good” – Usher, Summer Walker and 21 Savage

“On My Mama” – Victoria Monét

“Snooze”- SZA

R&B Artist Of The Year

Beyoncé

Brent Faiyaz

Chris Brown

SZA

Usher

Best New Artist (R&B)

Coco Jones

Fridayy

Kenya Vaun

October London

Victoria Monét

Alternative Song Of The Year

“Lost” – Linkin Park

“Love From the Other Side” – Fall Out Boy

“One More Time”- Blink-182

“Rescued”- Foo Fighters

“This Is Why”- Paramore

Alternative Artist Of The Year

Blink-182

Fall Out Boy

Foo Fighters

Green Day

Paramore

Best New Artist (Alt/Rock)

Bad Omens

HARDY

Jelly Roll

Lovejoy

Noah Kahan

Rock Song Of The Year

“72 Seasons” – Metallica

“Dead Don’t Die”- Shinedown

“Lost” – Linkin Park

“Need A Favor” – Jelly Roll

“Rescued” – Foo Fighters

Rock Artist Of The Year

Disturbed

Foo Fighters

Jelly Roll

Metallica

Shinedown

Dance Song Of The Year

“10:35”- Tiësto ft. Tate McRae

“Baby Don’t Hurt Me” – David Guetta, Anne-Marie and Coi Leray

“Padam Padam” – Kylie Minogue

“Praising You” – Rita Ora ft. Fatboy Slim

“Strangers” – Kenya Grace

Dance Artist Of The Year

Anabel Englund

David Guetta

Illenium

Kylie Minogue

Tiësto

Latin Pop / Urban Song Of The Year

“La Bachata” – Manuel Turizo

“La Bebe (remix)” – Yng Lvcas and Peso Pluma

“Lala”- Myke Towers

“Shakira: Bzrp Music Sessions, Vol. 53”- Shakira and Bizarrap

“TQG”- Karol G and Shakira

Latin Pop / Urban Artist Of The Year

Bad Bunny

Feid

Karol G

Manuel Turizo

Shakira

Best New Artist (Latin Pop / Urban)

Bad Gyal

GALE

Mora

Yng Lvcas

Young Miko

Regional Mexican Song Of The Year

“Bebe Dame”- Fuerza Regida and Grupo Frontera

“Ella Baila Sola” – Eslabon Armado and Peso Pluma

“Indispensable” – Carin León

“Qué Onda Perdida” – Grupo Firme ft. Gerardo Coronel

“Qué Vuelvas”- Carin León and Grupo Frontera

Regional Mexican Artist Of The Year

Calibre 50

Carin León

El Fantasma

Grupo Frontera

Peso Pluma

Best New Artist (Regional Mexican)

Gabito Ballesteros

Gerardo Coronel

Grupo Frontera

Junior H

Peso Pluma

K-Pop Artist Of The Year

(G)I-DLE

Jung Kook

NCT Dream

Seventeen

Stray Kids

K-Pop Song Of The Year

“Bouncy (K-Hot Chilli Peppers)” – ATEEZ

“Cupid (Twin Version)”- FIFTY FIFTY

“S-Class” – Stray Kids

“Seven” Jung Kook ft. Latto

“Super Shy” – NewJeans

Best New Artist (K-pop)

BOYNEXTDOOR

NewJeans

RIIZE

xikers

ZEROBASEONE

Best African Music Artist

Burna Boy

Rema

Tems

Tyla

Wizkid

Best Lyrics

“Dial Drunk”- Noah Kahan

“Flowers”- Miley Cyrus

“Greedy”- Tate McRae

“Houdini”- Dua Lipa

“Is It Over Now? (Taylor’s Version)”- Taylor Swift

“Last Night”- Morgan Wallen

“Lovin On Me”- Jack Harlow

“Nonsense”- Sabrina Carpenter

“Paint The Town Red”- Doja Cat

“Vampire”- Olivia Rodrigo

“Water”- Tyla

“What Was I Made For?”- Billie Eilish

Best Music Video

“3D”- Jung Kook ft. Jack Harlow

“Dance The Night”- Dua Lipa

“FLOWER”- JISOO

“Flowers”- Miley Cyrus

“I’m Good (Blue)” – Bebe Rexha and David Guetta

“Kill Bill”- SZA

“La Bebe (Remix)”- Yng Lvcas and Peso Pluma

“Paint The Town Red”- Doja Cat

“Seven”- Jung Kook ft. Latto

“TQG”- Karol G and Shakira

“Vampire”- Olivia Rodrigo

“What Was I Made For?”- Billie Eilish

Best Fan Army

Agnation

ATINY

Barbz

Beyhive

BTS Army

Harries

Livies

Louies

Niallers

Rushers

Selenators

Swifties

Social Star Award

Alex Warren

David Kushner

Flyana Boss

Gracie Abrams

Jessie Murph

Megan Moroney

Natalie Jane

Noah Kahan

Favorite Tour Photographer

Alfredo Flores – Sabrina Carpenter

Anna Lee – Coldplay

Carianne Older – Charlie Puth

Catherine Powell – Kelsea Ballerini

Cynthia Parkhurst – Jonas Brothers

David Lehr – Morgan Wallen

Joshua Halling – Louis Tomlinson

Mason Poole – Beyoncé

Matty Vogel – Misterwives

Ravie B – Adele

Ryan Fleming – 5 Seconds of Summer

Sanjay Parikh – Shinedown

TikTok Bop Of The Year

“Boy’s a liar Pt. 2”- PinkPantheress and Ice Spice

“Collide (Sped Up Remix)”- Justine Skye

“Cruel Summer”- Taylor Swift

“Cupid (Twin Version)”- FIFTY FIFTY

“Daylight”- David Kushner

“Her Way (Sped Up)”- Party Next Door

“If We Ever Broke Up”- Mae Stephens

“Paint The Town Red”- Doja Cat

“Water”- Tyla

“What It Is (Solo Version)”- Doechii

“What Was I Made For?”- Billie Eilish

Favorite On Screen

J-hope IN THE BOX

Love To Love You, Donna Summer

Louis Tomlinson, “All of Those Voices”

Prince: The Final Secret

Renaissance: A Film by Beyoncé

Jelly Roll, “Save Me”

Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour

TLC Forever

Favorite Tour Style

Beyoncé

Carrie Underwood

Doja Cat

Elton John

Harry Styles

Jonas Brothers

Madonna

Måneskin

Sabrina Carpenter

Shania Twain

SZA

Taylor Swift

Favorite Debut Album

Jung Kook, GOLDEN

Chlöe, In Pieces

V, Layover

Megan Moroney, Lucky

Lauren Spencer Smith, Mirror

Raye, My 21st Century Blues

Bailey Zimmerman, Religiously

Reneé Rapp, Snow Angel

Tyler Hubbard, Tyler Hubbard

Some of the artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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magxit · 2 years ago

Note

https://twitter.com/UPROXX/status/1717663141792751924

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sadgirlglimmeringdarling · 2 years ago

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The question here is what does Lana refer to as poverty? Like, what is her definition of poor or poverty? Because, her saying "my parents fought about money everyday" doesn't mean your poor. Rich people kill each other every other day about money.

Also, Lana's been a multi millionaire since 2012, thanks to Born To Die. Her definition of "poor" is very different then the reality of what being poor is.

I'm just trying to understand Lana, but like everything she does, she makes it hard to.

Her father claims in his recent interview, that they were well to do. You can read that over here:

Lana's "poor" story does not match with the story her father has been sharing in the press while promoting his own album.

So which is it? Because I'm a bit confused here.

Who do I believe? I believe years of video, photographs and her father's recent interviews.

Lake Placid is not a poverty stricken place, for god sakes, rich people go to Lake Placid to vacation!

You want to know what places are of poverty in New York? Harlem. Spanish Harlem. Many streets in Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten Island. Manhattan was already included in this list with Harlem, but lets add Jackson Heights to the list too.

I live in NYC so I know what I'm talking about. I lived in NYC all my damn life. People went camping to Lake Placid. People vacation at Lake Placid. Poverty my ass!

This is Lake Placid:

I'm not sure why upper middle class or rich people love to feign poverty. At least Taylor Swift never pretended to come from the slums. She was well to do before her fame and is very well to do now and thank the lord she never pretended to be poor.

Lana and Halsey both play the poor is me schtick and it's past ridiculous. Like Lana, Halsey's parents were well to do upper middle class folks who own homes in New Jersey. Halsey loved to tell the press she lived under bridges or in the middle of the street or slept with random men just to have a roof over her head. She loves to make up stories about almost becoming a hooker because she was so poor. The truth was, Halsey was living with mom and dad and when she had one of her hissy fits, she would go live with her grandparents - who were just as equally well to do as her parents. Halsey never went hungry or lived in poverty and neither did Lana.

For Lana, there's tons of photos of her in private planes, boats and high society diners. A good website that keeps track of her past is this page right here:

Another lie busted is that Lana's parents knew Lana was singing around bars and little clubs. They knew she was a singer way before SNL.

Some images from 2008:

Hundreds of images like this can be found on Lanapedia, just scroll down and click on the dates.

Among the many businesses Rob had, one of the most lucrative ones is in Real Estate. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics the average real estate agent earns $45,990 each year, but the range in income is massive. One-tenth of real estate agents earned less than $23,000, and 10% earned more than $110,000. It is important to note that some real estate agents only work on a part-time basis, but most work a full 40 hours per week.

So...this poverty schtick Lana is trying to pull...

Also in the topic of plastic surgery...

She lies about that, what else would she lie about?

Exactly.

Thank you to Uproxx for calling out her BS:

By the way, after boarding school, Lana's parents shipped her off to Spain. That also takes money. Spain isn't cheap either.

In a now deleted video that Lana posted on Honeymoon, she talks about growing up poor. She also posted this response.

Uproxx already wrote an article bringing up a recent interview Rob Grant did saying how well he did in all his businesses.

There's also the many photos of Lizzy growing up riding in private jets.

I never thought Lana was ever rich. I thought she was always middle class but she makes it sound like she was poor on foodstamps. She most certainly wasn't that poor. Her dad's interview makes it sound differently. Who do I believe? I believe dad. Lana lies about her plastic surgery so I don’t believe much of anything coming from her. Pictures of her in private jets and fancy parties with her family are all over her fanpages. I have a feeling more articles looking into her past will be coming out. This is why she should never answer to trolls. Also how did her parents not know she was a singer until she did SNL in 2012? There are literally images of Lana hanging out with her family from 2006-2012. Chuck did her hair and took photos backstage of the SNL performance. See how it doesn't add up?

#lana del rey #rob grant #lake placid #jesus take the wheel

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taytay4ever · 8 years ago

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Amid So Many Stories About Bad Men In The Media, Taylor Swift Strikes Back With ‘Reputation’

In the run-up to her sixth album, Reputation, Taylor Swift has been discussed first as a global brand, with the media analyzing her every machination and whether it has induced her possible “obsolescence,” and then as a musician. But now that this record is finally in the world, let’s start with Swift’s music for a change.

Reputation is a cold, convoluted, often surly record, heavily weighted with overly complicated prog-R&B arrangements, awkward attempts at rapping, and lyrics that underline every reference to Swift’s casual hook-ups and late-night binge-drinking. At the risk of libeling Swift’s usual stable of expensive pop-auteur collaborators — headlined by Max Martin, Shellback, and Jack Antonoff — some of the songs seem almost pasted together, with verses barging indelicately into pre-choruses as tempos shift in jarring fashion. The elegance of previous Swift blockbusters like 2012’s Red and 2014’s 1989 has gone missing.

And yet, Reputation adds up to a fascinating and often moving, self-portrait. On the biggest possible stage, Swift has fearlessly exposed some of her rawest vulnerabilities. For the first time in years, Swift seems like a rather ordinary human being, with all the unattractive flaws and nagging hang-ups that suggests.

As was the case with Reputation‘s bewildering first single, “Look What You Made Me Do,” the album is initially off-putting, as sour and difficult to like as Swift’s previous pop album, the candy-coated retro-pop showcase 1989, was sweet and catchy. Swift is nothing if not a pop-music prodigy, a seasoned hitmaker at age 27 who already displayed preternatural gifts for crafting heart-rending earworms more than a decade ago, at a time when her peers were struggling to write essays on The Great Gatsby (which Swift pointedly references on Reputation) in high school.

Swift’s franchise is creating the types of songs that people like without even trying to like them. And yet Reputation is decidedly not in that tradition — sure enough, the album’s early singles have not captured the public’s imagination the way those undeniable world-beaters of 1989 did. It seems intuitive that this represents a failure on Swift’s part. But then you dwell on this album’s lyrics, which are laced with violent imagery and obsessed with control and score-settling, and all of a sudden the turbulent, herky-jerky music makes more sense.

Reputation doesn’t fail at being likable, because being likable for once doesn’t seem to be Swift’s agenda. Rather, this album succeeds at expressing a litany of deep, intractable resentments by a world-famous pop star who seems alienated from all but a tight circle of trusted confidantes. “Here’s a toast to my real friends,” she crows on the album’s bitterest track, “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things.” You suspect she’s not addressing more than a few people.

Who is Taylor mad at? Who do you got? No specific names are mentioned in the lyrics to Reputation, so instead there are opaque references to “older guys,” “the world,” “what I can’t have,” and “the liars.” But, above all, what haunts Taylor is the proverbial “they” — in “I Did Something Bad,” they are “burning all the witches, even if you aren’t one.” In “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things,” Swift loves her baby because “he ain’t reading what theycall me lately.”

The songs on Reputation don’t necessarily lend themselves to the sort of “Which boyfriend is this one about?” parlor games that people usually play with Taylor Swift albums. The animus instead here feels intangible and existential, which is why Swift’s belated embrace of hip-hop, while artistically tenuous and bound to be viewed cynically by those who believe Swift is an opportunist, is such a crucial development on Reputation.

It’s easy to laugh at Swift’s stilted flow in “…Ready For It?” or puzzle at the ill-advised “street speak” of the chorus. (“I, I, I see how this is gon’ go.”) But the overt feistiness of rap allows Swift to front-load emotions that she has previously kept concealed behind frothy pop hooks and that iconic “Oh, I can’t believe my good fortune!” award-show face. “I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put ’em,” Swift spits in “End Game,” which shoehorns cameos by Future and Ed Sheeran that would seem preordained by a streaming-service algorithm if Swift were more enthusiastic about streaming. (Reputation is not yet available on any streaming platform.)

Swift has written similarly barbed lyrics in the past, of course, but back then there was usually a trace of playfulness. When she refers to herself as “insane” in “Blank Space,” you can sense the self-deprecation and implied eye roll. But Reputation — aside from that stray cat joke in “Gorgeous” — is mirthless. This time, when Swift buries a hatchet, she draws blood.

Swift has been a magnet for criticism lately — some of it fair, much of it not. The media narrative has turned so rapidly against her that it’s almost hard to remember that, for much of her career, Swift was a darling of the press. As late as 2015, the New York Times was still inclined to refer to her as an “underdog,” and there were no shortage of Swift defenders in the press eager to call out perceived slights, whether it was an indie-music site not reviewing 1989 (even as virtually every other outlet on the planet lavished the album with coverage) or the sexism of Ryan Adams covering the album in its entirety.

But nobody sees Swift as an underdog in 2017. Now, she’s an establishment foil for Cardi B, whose scrappy smash “Bodak Yellow” removed “Look What You Made Me Do” from the top of the pop charts after “just” three weeks this fall. “Look What You Made Me Do” has sunk precipitously ever since, along with the followup single “…Ready For It,” which peaked at No. 4.

Certainly, it’s worth noting that these songs haven’t made the impact that singles like “Blank Space” and “Shake It Off” did. But the whispers that Swift is now finished as a pop star, as Spotify-powered rappers storm the charts seems a tad premature, given that Reputation is projected to move an impressive-in-any-era two million units in its first week.

Did anyone really expect Swift to keep on churning out 1989-sized pop bangers in perpetuity? Who faulted Beyoncé when Lemonade — which like Reputation is clearly conceived as an album rather than a playlist of singles — also didn’t produce any lasting chart hits? (The highest charting single from Lemonade, “Formation,” peaked at No. 10. At least Taylor spent the better part of a month at No. 1.)

Here’s a criticism I agree with: Swift should condemn the alt-right cult that reveres her as some sort of blonde Aryan goddess. Her apparent stubbornness on this issue is strange, considering that sending out a press release against Nazis is literally the easiest thing in the world to do. (I suspect she doesn’t deem it necessary to declare her anti-Nazi bonafides, as opposed to being reluctant to anger conservatives, a frequent charge from critics. But letting the controversy linger nonetheless is nonsensical.) However, the larger argument that Swift’s stock as a pop star has slipped because she’s maintained a largely apolitical public persona doesn’t wash.

Swift, like virtually every artist, is a narcissist. And, by and large, that’s why people like her, because when Swift sings about herself, she does it in a way that makes millions of people believe she’s actually singing about them. That is the job of a pop star. This weird insistence that a musician who has previously shown no inclination to be a political commentator must suddenly register her yay-or-nay take on Donald Trump, Black Lives Matter, or Hillary vs. Bernie says more about our displaced reverence for pop stars than it does about Swift’s supposed moral obligations.

Isn’t it possible that Taylor Swift genuinely has nothing to say on these matters? And isn’t that okay? If given the choice between performative wokeness and authentic non-engagement, I’ll take the latter, please. Besides, as we’ve seen demonstrated time and again lately, the personal is political, particularly when it comes to one of Swift’s primary subjects: The power struggles between men and women.

Reputation arrives in the midst of an ongoing moral apocalypse in the entertainment industry, in which sexual harassment and assault have been properly re-contextualized in the popular consciousness as expressions of dominance and humiliation, typically by straight white men over women. Swift herself has been victimized by this power imbalance, by a Colorado radio DJ who groped her during a station visit in 2013, when Swift was 23. (Swift won a civil suit against the DJ this summer.)

It might be hard to conceive of Swift, one of the world’s most famous women, as somehow subordinate to a faceless radio jock. But consider how country radio has suppressed women, or how chart success (which is still enabled greatly by radio airplay) has come to dominate, dubiously, how we determine relevance or even artistic merit in popular music. If the fallout from the Harvey Weinstein scandal has taught us anything, it’s that even famous women can be abused by much less famous but nonetheless well-connected men behind the scenes.

But with Reputation, I sense that Swift is finished with that. In her new songs, Swift always has the upper hand. If anyone is going to get broken, it’s the guy in the equation, who’s typically an older (and therefore patriarchal) figure. (“I’ve been breaking hearts for a long time / And toyin’ with them older guys / just playthings for me to use,” she seethes in the dirge-like “Don’t Blame Me.”) If she does decide to settle down, it’s up to the other person to accept her shortcomings, not the other way around. (“Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me,” she sings on “Dress.”) Either way, she gets to be the dominant one, the person who always gets what she wants, including the last word.

After listening to Reputation, I think I understand why Swift’s been seemingly indifferent about her recent bad PR choices, including her threat, via a lawyer, to sue a blogger who criticized her silence on the white supremacist issue. And I get why she’s retreated from the media to the comfort of her massive cult on Tumblr, an audience inclined to perceive her venting and femme-fatale posturing as cathartic, rather than merely petulant.

If Reputation had a nutgraf, it would be, “Why should I have to explain myself?” To Swift, going through the paces of tending to her “perfect” public image seemingly provokes the most resentment of all, since it only seems to make people expect even more from her. Haven’t they already taken enough?

Uproxx

#taylor swift uproxx

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