#taz: b

[jerreeeeeee]

the fact that barry and lup became liches (combined their souls with raw magical power) on a world where this is the description griffin gives:

And you find books in this world, and journals, and learn that, in its heyday, more or less everyone in this plane had some sort of magical capability. And they studied it insistently and mastered new spells and were insatiable in their growth, and it was that sort of hubris that led them to pull the plane of magic right out of the sky, which resulted in their ultimate destruction.

they just read those books and saw the results of combining matter with magic and this empty world and went “we’ll be fine though.” and i wouldn’t say they exactly got out of things unscathed, the crew’s hubris certainly had consequences, but the lich thing specifically seemed to work out pretty well?

[lithiumseven]

Ok but Taako who is old both because he’s an elf and because he didn’t age at all for a full century, who over that 100 years has been just about as involved in the world as you can get learning and researching, but on a different world every single year where everything he learns becomes entirely useless for anyone but his family after it’s context is obliterated by the Hunger

Vs Kravitz who is old by virtue of being dead and has spent countless years in one world but entirely removed from it, only sporadically even taking physical form until he meets Taako

These two start a household that knows jack shit about this world! Pop culture? Forget it. The biggest sports team in Neverwinter? They’ve never even heard of that sport much less the team. Taako speaks Mongoose but he doesn’t know how to find Killian’s pulse. Kravitz lived through the Fantasy Roaring Twenties but he doesn’t even know because he interacted with exclusively necromancers the whole time. Carey mentions a famous ancestor of Lord Artemis Sterling, someone everyone learns about in fantasy kindergarten like George Washington or Elizabeth the First, and Kravitz asks if that is her new coworker. Professional space ship scientist Taako Taaco tries to help Angus with his physics homework and realizes he has no idea what the gravitational constant of this planet even is

And then there’s the rare one-offs that are even more surprising than the gaps in their knowledge. Mookie can’t remember the ending of a fairytale and Taako supplies the answer without even thinking because there’s a very similar story on Tesseralia. Kravitz’s team wins the Bureau of Benevolence trivia night because the last question is about the composer who wrote the first piece Kravitz ever learned to play.

They go through their world both oblivious and dialed in, completely lost and altogether too aware. But they go through it together, and of that they are absolutely certain

[asexual-juliet]

will we as a society ever surpass the reveal that davenport was the seventh bird

[mios-art]

idea 1 that fits your brief: davenport holding a winning poker hand :)

idea 2, optional challenge: do a fan forgery. find a simple art piece you like and try and copy it with the tools and techniques you use! i love doing that sort of thing but i usually keep it on my computer

I’ll definitely try the idea 2 as well :’)

[semiotomatics]

when the

when the EGG BABE hits

[nebulations]

[ID copied from alt: a picture of lucretia from the adventure zone graphic novels. she is an old, thin, black woman wearing blue flowing robes, a hood, silver jewelry, and long boots. she stands tall end regally, and holds a staff in one hand and reaches forward with the other. the image is tinted blue, and there is a jellyfish in the background and backs of heads in the foreground. End ID]

how the fuck am i supposed to act like a normal functional human being when The Character exists

[jerreeeeeee]

Balance fic recs

some of my favorite balance fics. various ages, popularities, and lengths. i’ve been wanting to do a rec list for a while!

caramel by nevereverever

The first time Taako is left alone, it isn't pretty. But their lives are stuck in a loop and people come back and die again and again and he wonders if there will ever be a time when he doesn't have to fear being left alone.

2.7k, Taako & Lup Lup dies one cycle and then, years later, she dies again. But she always comes back. Hurt/comfort of the best kind.

Warmth by noxic

"It was a well-known fact among the residents of the Starblaster that Lup, Barry, and Taako slept in the same bed more often than not. It was one of those things that they just did without really talking about it."

2.1k, Barry & Lup & Taako The BLT fic of all time. Quality platonic adult sleepovers.

Taako the Matchmaker by @fantasysamsclub

In which Taako tries to set up his sister. Events take place during Stolen Century.

11.1k, Blupjeans & Taako Taako tries to set up blupjeans. Miscommunication ensues. Very sweet and funny.

red fishing line by @anistarrose

A routine performance of Sizzle it Up goes nightmarishly wrong, and at Lup’s bedside, Taako feels helpless. And when a red-robed guest appears before him, Taako doesn’t know how or what to feel at all.

3k, Barry & Lup & Taako Also the BLT fic of all time. Excellent subtle Taako characterization, and my favorite depiction of the familiarity-but-not of being voidfished. Warning for major character death.

Sunny-Side Up by @barry-j-blupjeans

And the world? The world loved Taako. For once in his gods-damned life, people loved him. They didn’t care about all the flaws, they didn’t care where he came from or who he was before. They loved his food and they loved him. No one would ever quite be at Taako’s level and that was something he thrived on. There would never be anyone who could measure up. Taako deserved this happiness. He worked for it. He wasted his fucking life away for it.

5.7k, Taako A wonderful character study, revolving around the role food plays in Taako's life. Fairly minor but impactful characters like Sazed and Taako's aunt are utilized in a very meaningful way. So well-written and warm. Warning for brief suicidal ideation.

On the Deck of the Starblaster by @papergardener

“What the… what are you all doing? We have work to do!” It’s a justified reaction, Lucretia thinks, to finding your entire crew literally lazing about on deck not an hour into this new cycle. “This one's on me,” Taako says. “It’s a new trend I like to call: taking a fucking break.” Cycle Nintey-Five. Everyone’s maybe not doing so good and could use a little warmth.

6.5k, Lucretia & Taako Near the end of the century, Lucretia is feeling rough. Taako pulls her out of her funk and initiates a much needed rest. Fantastic characterization, of Lucretia as a whole, and the loyal, warm side of Taako. Warning for mentions of a suicide attempt and suicidal ideation.

leaving, as an injustice by @anistarrose

When Mavis is eight, she starts finding her Dad asleep on the couch in the morning. Sometimes, he’s even all the way out on their tiny patio, with his head slumped onto a pillow atop the chess table, and bags beneath his eyes. In one of their following games, he tells her about tactical retreats.

4.7k, Mavis & Merle A study of Mavis and her relationship to Merle. Incredibly insightful into criminally underrated characters. Excellent Merle characterization.

Permission by vaguenotion

She’d been doing this on and off for the last hour, as if daring the men to catch up to them. Daring them to fight her. Every time seemed like a final stand. Here is where I will meet them, her shoulders said, hiked up around her ears. Here is where I’ll make them pay for what they’ve done. But then Taako would grab her hand, and she would turn and see the bruising on his throat, the blood drying on his brow, the tear in his shirt. And she would grip his hand in hers and together they would keep running.

12.6k, Taako & Lup My favorite depiction of the twins as children, both in character and realistic. Beautifully atmospheric, with so many small details that make the setting feel so real. Warning for assault and harm to children.

Come Hell or High Water by @nillial

“Taako,” Hurley asks, “where’s your magic umbrella?” Taako looks behind him. He had tossed the Umbrastaff in the path of a neighboring vehicle, which was beginning to catch up to them. He sees them now, far in the distance, and he sees his Umbrastaff, too, lying dangerously close to its wheels. As if on cue, he watches the tires crush it to pieces. “Whoops,” he says. - Lup is trapped. And then she isn’t. --- In which Taako breaks his umbrella during the Petals to the Metal race, unknowingly freeing Lup, who is almost immediately captured by Kravitz. After becoming a member of the Raven Queen's retinue with Kravitz as her trainer, she has two missions: 1) find her family, and 2) ruin Kravitz's afterlife. A story about enemies becoming friends and lost families finding their way back to one another.

197k (currently), Lup & Kravitz Incredible characterization. I love the way Lup is written. Hilarious shenanigans, sweet friendship-building, and terribly sad sometimes, because it dives deep into the reality of Lup existing in a world that's forgotten her.

Very cold water on a very hot day by @keplercryptids

Sometimes a family is a nerd who can't swim and the crunchy-haired watersport inventor who teaches him how. Surfer lingo required.

3.1k, Barry & Taako Deep dive into the beach year. Excellently in character, well-written dialogue, and a beautiful depiction of their growing friendship.

Children of Atlas by @papergardener

They’ve survived the apocalypse and now as far as they know, they’re the only ones left. Perhaps it was inevitable that they’d consider… repopulation. Lucretia writes up a weekly schedule to try and address that. Absolutely no one is happy with this.

76k (currently), IPRE crew The premise for this one is incredibly offputting, but I'm so glad I gave it a chance. The characterization and quality of writing is absolutely wonderful. I also love the attention to detail of the realistic difficulty of just surviving. Fantastically atmospheric, this fic dives deep into the uncertainty and fear of the first cycle, when the crew are all strangers, and the love that turns them into a family. Warning for extensive discussion of sexual assault.

Emissary Davenport by DragonWrites

A series of stories where Captain Davenport is secretly an emissary of Garl Glittergold, Gnomish god of pranks. And when you're a serious-minded captain on a mission to save all of reality, having a cheerful trickster god as your unexpected patron can get a little strange...

300k, Davenport A series of four works set in an AU where Davenport is an emissary to the leader of the gnomish pantheon. My absolute favorite depiction of Davenport, ever. The first three works are explorations of Davenport as a character and the relationships between people and gods in a DnD world. The last, Lost Gods, is the best fanfiction I've ever read. I can't express how good it is. The attention to detail among myriad plot threads, the building of themes, the characterization across just about every single character in Balance, all come together to create 223k words of a genuine masterpiece.

[lithiumseven]

[lithiumseven]

Taako: I love you

Kravitz: I love you more

Taako: Good.

[jerreeeeeee]

he needs enrichment

[vivitalks]

i'm sure this post has been made before but the "the list of people i trust and things i believe is down to no one and nothing" to "i trust angus mcdonald entirely" journey that taako takes in the span of roughly one in-fiction hour during lunar interlude reunion tour is so important to me. adventuring partners and friends who have saved his bacon more times than he can count? nah fuck em. organization that has protected him and given him a purpose and fresh start? new stone of farspeech who dis. this nerdy ass boy detective? "angus i trust you implicitly and here's the 100% exact truth as we understand it"

[nebulaeyedfish]

Dearly beloveds, we are gathered here as one. Facing the future as one. Whether that future be darkness or light, we do not know. Just like we do not know, in our lives, if we’re going to head into darkness or light...

I'm proud to reveal my piece for the Taz Balance Zine, Through the Static, which released last week! See @taz-balance-zine for more information on how to see the rest of the wonderful works! I worked incredibly hard on this piece, which is one which I've been trying to paint, off and on, since about 2018. My previous attempt, from 2020 is still up on my blog. Merle & the Church of Fungston is one of my favourite parts of the whole podcast, and I'm thrilled to have been able to try and bring that moment to life.

[nebulations]

[ID: A collection of excerpts from the transcripts of The Adventure Zone: Balance.

1.

Merle: Um, is there a health plan? Director: Uh, just don’t die.

2.

Griffin: She’s a little bit, uh, disoriented. She just woke up, and- Travis: I slap her. Griffin: She slaps you back. Director: Booyah.

3.

Director: [whispering] Pistachios. –she says Merel: Shelled? Director: Yes, I leave the shells on them. Gives you stronger, sturdier teeth. Now get the hell out of my office 4. Director: Uh, any other non-terrible questions?

5.

Taako: Cause he loved Pringles too much? Did he pop and then neglect to stop? Director: Hey if that’s a crime we all deserve to be thrown in the brig, right?

6.

Magnus: What- what happens to the bracers after we’ve found all seven objects? Director: Oh, shit,

7.

Merle: Alright. Uhh. I am smartest. My friend, Taako is– Director: Well, listen to you.

8.

Magnus: I want to be Lord High Awesomesauce. Director: Nope, that sounds dumb. End ID]

went looking through moonlighting/the first few lunar interludes to make myself sad with some of the earlier moments with Madame Director but instead i was just reminded again and again how funny everything she says is and how I Love Lucretia

[ninjasmudge]

kravitz adventurezone ❤

[nerdepic]

a redraw ₊˚⊹♡

[nebulations]

[ID: Excerpts of a fic which is partially formatted in regular dialogue and partially as Homestuck pesterlogs (colored serif text, transcribed here in bold without quirks like numbers replacing letters).

1.

JADE: light of creation? "Yes," said Lup. "We're here to recover it. It won't fall for a few days yet, but it looks like-" "How are you talking in color?" Taako interrupted. JADE: um

2.

TEREZI: (A questioning emoticon) "…Okay. I think my brother might be onto something. How exactly did you do that?" TEREZI: DO WHAT?

3.

"I have… an announcement." All eyes went to the elf. "It's very important that you all listen very carefully to what I have to say." He cleared his throat again. TAAKO: check this shit out. End ID]

i wrote a short taz/homestuck crossover back in 2018, just the IPRE crew running into Earth C, and obviously it’s not up to my current standards but i’m still not sure i’ll ever write a joke funnier than this one

right at the beginning:

and then, lup meeting terezi:

and finally, right at the end, having had a whole year to investigate: