#technically all of that statement is completely true

[mischievousquokka]

At least it isn't complaining about kids taking up any space at all. (That's a terribly low bar.)

Also don't get me started about some self-righteous 60-year-olds in public who think the video on their phone needs to be heard by everyone within a 50ft radius (and complain about "kids these days" for completeness).

"Somebody needs to do something about Sephora 10-year-olds...these i-pad babies are so rude and don't do what they're told....oh my God, these kids can't read and have no social skills...Ugh, look at these little consumers and their Stanley Cups."

I am, in fact, actively worried for these children and I refuse to hate them for the ways that society, as a whole, has failed them.

[monstersholygrail]

Yandere!Grim Reaper

Male Yandere x Bimbo Fem!Reader || possible light dub/noncon, jerking off, fingering, sex toys, stalking, voyeurism.

A Grim Reaper has been following you around since childhood, bringing you back to life every time you die. But one foolish mistake has him finally revealing himself to you

Yandere!Grim Reaper first met you when the two of you were young. He was only a fledgling Reaper and you were actually his first job. He had been watching you all day, watching you float through life so utterly clueless about everything around you. It was cute… and it would be your demise.

While playing out in the yard you accidentally throw your ball too hard and it rolls onto the road. Like a brainless little pup you go prancing right off the sidewalk, completely unaware of the car zooming down the street.

Seeing you so sweet and happy one minute and now seeing your soul slowly float out of your body causes something to churn in his stomach, his frown deepening. This wasn’t right, you were only his age. There was so much life to live.

So before your soul can completely detach from your form he rushes over and just kinda… pushes it back in. His head jerking from side-to-side as if someone was around to catch him.

Of course, the minute you pop back up, completely ignoring the frantic shouts of the driver, you get up and grab your ball like nothing even happened. Assuring the driver and heading back into the yard to play. He stares after you with his mouth agape.

What was he going to do now? He had broken the rules for you. Did the unthinkable. Now he had other jobs to do, but you were kinda… dumb. He couldn’t just leave you, you’d surely stumble onto another accident soon with how you were going about. No, he had to stay with you. Watch over you and keep you safe. That was his new job.

It had nothing to do with the fact that he may have felt physically unable to leave your side. The thought of not seeing you so joyful and full of life every day creating an unbearable ache in his chest. He needed you as much as you needed him.

And it’s a good thing he stayed too, his previous statement coming true as over the years, now well into your college career, you stumble upon accident after accident. Where he’d have to come over and slam your soul back into your body before you went on without a care. That’s how he liked you after all.

He’d lost track of how many times you’ve technically died. You were a regular at your closest hospital, friends with all the staff. A medical marvel they called you. None of them knowing it was because of him— because of how much he loved you even from the very first day you met. But you have seemed to take the nickname seriously, somehow growing more reckless with your life.

You thought yourself invincible. And perhaps in someway you were. He would not allow you to die and in fact, he may never.

But even he has a limit.

He stands in the corner of your bathroom, his arms crossed over his chest. Watching you intently as he always does while you prepare yourself for a nice soothing bath. He had to watch you. Danger could be lurking behind every corner, especially when it came to you.

So he didn’t exactly have a choice but to watch you in your dorm every day. It not being his fault his cock gets so hard every time, never able to resist fucking himself to the sight of you changing. Or keeping watch of you overnight as you sink your toys deep into your dripping cunt and he finds himself rutting against your bed in time with your thrusts, hovering over you. So close yet so far.

And even something like this now, watching you take a hot bath, was not uncommon for him. Hey, if he could slip in to take a shower with you every morning then watching you bathe was nothin’. It didn’t matter if you never have a clue he’s there, he’s just doing it to protect you after all. A silent observer.

You walk back into the bathroom and he perks up, spine straightening against the wall as you’re already shucking off your clothes. Throwing them carelessly across the tiled floor. Saliva pools in his mouth as you reveal your soft curvy body to him, yes, to him, with a painful slowness. Almost like you’re trying to tease him, torture him with what he desires most.

He pushes off the wall, hovering close to you as you throw your shirt off and reveal your drool-worthy breasts to him. And he has drooled. He’ll probably do it again. Maybe right now. Fuck, he wants to suck on your tits so bad. He shifts uncomfortably, his cock straining against its confines even in his loose-fitting robes.

It’s so easy to get lost in you and that sexy ass body, but when a smile that promises trouble lights up your face, it quickly snaps him out of his trance. He knows that look. He’s seen it every time just before you do something stupid and he has to bring you back to life.

You spin around and rush back into your room. He groans at the way your ass jiggles as you run, a shiver rolling through his body and making his cock twitch. Though he swears it instantly begins to deflate as you come waltzing back in with your electronic vibrator wand and its charger.

You’re not serious, are you? You not actually going to do this.

Though you quickly prove him wrong as you take a step into the tub, an excited giggle leaving you that nearly distracts him. Shaking his head to refocus, his brows furrow and his hands clench at their sides. This may just be a new low, even for you. No, he can’t let this happen, this is where he draws the line.

An idea so wicked forms in his head he almost banishes it. A smirk spreads across his lips and he knows it’s not going away. It’s time, he deserves this. And it’s the best way to protect you, he’s sure of it. This way he can keep you even more closely by his side. You won’t be able to get away from him for a minute. That thought is all the motivation he needs.

So as you bend over, oh so erotically, to plug in your vibrator wand, his hand snaps out to catch your wrist in his grip. Touching you, really touching you, for the first time. His cold dead heart flutters. You try and jerk back on instinct, a gasp pulling from deep within your chest. Your wide eyes snap up to meet his as he finally reveals himself to you. His smirk only widens at your reaction as if so utterly pleased with himself.

“Why don’t you let me take care of ya this time ‘round, yeah, little pup?”

[dollfacefantasy]

bucky barnes x fem!reader cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, public sex, boss/employee relationship a/n: i just watched brave new world so <3333 this is based on the request i am going to answer in a few moments.

1:30 pm, and a quick call to your desk. "sweetheart, could you come in here for a minute?" his voice crackled through the receiver. you knew what that meant.

not even five minutes later, he had you bent over the dark mahogany in his office, your pencil skirt hiked up around your hips, the pretty pink panties you'd worn for him pushed to the side so his cock could pump in and out of you with ease.

"fuck, mr. barnes," you whimpered, taking your bottom lip between your teeth. your hands slid as they pressed down on scattered papers beneath them.

a chuckle came from behind you. his hands gave your hips a squeeze. you could feel the mechanical flex on your left side.

"what'd i tell you about calling me that?" he asked.

"that- mmm- that i should only do it at work, but- ah!" you tried to explain, cut off by his tip brushing against a sensitive spot inside you. gripping the edge of the desk, you steeled yourself to finish your sentence. "but, technically, we're still at work, sir."

you heard him hum in acknowledgement, and in your mind, you could all but see that cute little smirk on his face. the one reserved for you. even when you were just his secretary, you were still the only one who got to see it so freely.

"smart girl. i guess that is true," he said, completing his statement with a particularly hard thrust.

you squeaked at the impact, and your eyes rolled back. despite your own noise, you were just happy the desk wasn't budging an inch under his momentum.

"but since we're 'at work,' you also know that you're supposed to be quiet," he said, his voice much lower and much closer to your ear. you could feel the crisp fabric of his suit against your back. his tie feathered along your side, causing you to squirm back on him.

"i- i am," you stammered.

"yeah? you think this is quiet? quiet enough that if anybody walked by those doors, they wouldn't hear you whining for me?" he whispered.

words of defense didn't come to mind. instead, you gasped as he nuzzled into your neck, planting open-mouthed kisses along your throat. your walls clamped around his length. you squeezed him, sucked him in with everything you had, your body wordlessly crying more, more, more.

"we wouldn't want any rumors going around, would we? people already talk about how cute my little secretary is, how she chases after me with stars in her eyes," he practically cooed. "they warn me about you, you know. i don't wanna get caught up in a scandal after all."

your knees almost give out beneath you, but being squished between him and the desk keeps you in place.

you knew what he was saying was true. people did talk about you and him. speculated if your relationship went beyond what was appropriate for a representative and his secretary. but fuck, you didn't care. not while sitting at your desk during the day or laying in his arms at night, and you certainly didn't care when he was fucking you like you'd been made just for him.

"they won't," you finally answered, words closer to a babble now. "they won't hear. only you can hear."

his lips curled into a smile against your skin. "that's right, baby. only me," he said with a soft peck to your cheek.

the moment of tenderness was brief though. his mechanical hand slid around to grasp your throat, giving him more leverage to drill into you.

at this point, you were right on the edge. he had settled into a rhythm that stroked you just right every time. your release was coming closer and closer every second.

you sucked in another ragged breath, unable to get the words out to articulate what you felt inside. but that was ok. he knew all your tells. he recognized the shaky legs and grabby hands and pulsing grip of your cunt.

his hand that wasn't on your neck wrapped around your body and snaked its way between your legs. the warm flesh of his fingertips swirled over your clit, rubbed back and forth in rapid stripes to give you the final push.

"i know, baby. i know it feels so good, and i know you're gonna be a good girl and stay quiet. so cum for me," he murmured.

just in case, you covered your mouth with your palm. your body spasmed as you let release wash over you. to your surprise, you did remain quiet for the most part. only a few little sounds of ecstasy escaped your lips for your hand to muffle.

he groaned right into your ear, the noise quiet to the entire world except for you. it was only a matter of seconds before you felt the familiar burst of warmth and the uneven jolts of his hips against your backside.

once the two of you had both finished, you each took a few seconds to catch your breath. you couldn't take too long however because his lunch break was ending, and it wouldn't take a genius to figure out the both of you were doing a little more than going over briefings in here.

he eased out of you and then helped you clean up a bit. your panties fell back into place while your skirt unbunched to cover up your thighs again. you glanced in the mirror on the wall to make sure your makeup hadn't smudged. with a tug of your blazer, you were ready to go back out there.

"not even gonna give me a kiss before you go?" he asked.

that brought a little smile to your face. when you turned to him once again, he was put back together too. no remnants of you on his suit, all the buttons together again, every strand of his hair in place.

you leaned in for what was supposed to be a quick peck. but his arm looped around your waist and held you close for a few moments longer. your shy eyes connected with his when he finally let you pull away. he gave you a pat on the ass as you went to walk away.

"i'll see you after work, mr. barnes," you said with a little laugh.

[ice-creamforbreakfast]

🌵👽The Juno Collection - A Collaboration with Juno Birch and Surely-Sims👽🌵

🚀Download🚀(Patreon - Free)

PAUSE!!!

YES TODAY, the absolutely stunning collaboration between @surely-sims, the alien queen herself, Ms. Juno Birch, and I is finally here 👽!!!

Surely-Sims and I have both been longtime fans of Juno, so getting to do this collab has been an absolute dream, and we're so excited to finally get to share it with you all!

Let's get into it!!

Alien Glam Hair - There's nothing more camp and fabulous than a full head of rollers, other than perhaps a roller behive! Get ready in style with this gawjus hairstyle! Not hat compatible.

Swatches - 24 Polys - 26786 (so demure)

 Incognito Hair - Who is that absolutely stunning woman? It's just Juno doing her shopping and looking like a completely normal human woman with this modest behive in a scarf! Not hat compatible (other than the scarf overlay)

Swatches: 24 (hair) 35 (overlays) Polys: 2432 (actually demure)

More after the cut:

 Attack of the Stunning Gown - A glamorous take on Juno's glamorous take on Alien Girl's gown from Mars Attacks! Check off floor length fishtail sequin gown from your Ice-CreamForBreakfast bingo cards!

Swatches: 20 Polys: 9460

Katelyn Dress - A typical Juno silhouette with an a-line shape, bishop sleeve and a feather trim! This dress comes in a variety of swatches and is sure to turn heads!

Swatches: 50 Polys: 8182

 Kristen Outfit - Another Juno go-to is this blouse, skirt and waistcoat combo! Show your friends who's the true alien fashion queen (still Juno, sorry diva) in this 70s get up!

Swatches: 38 (outfit) 54 (blouse overlay) Polys: 5144

 Erin Outfit: Sister to the Kristen outfit, and probably one of Juno's most recognisable looks. Make a statement with this giant collar!

Swatches: 38 (outfit) 54 (blouse overlay) Polys: 5606

Untitled Sausage Dancer Costume - Juno reaches full power in a hotdog costume, so it only felt right to include one! True to the original, this features realistic bread textures and lettuce that isn't quite lettuce... Oh and who can forget the stunning flippy fringe? She's technically a hat!

Swatches: 6 (costume) 24 (fringe accessory) Polys: 4998

Attack of the Stunning Boots - Where would an alien queen be without a pair of patent platform boots? Probably in some other type of shoe, but perhaps not one quite so stunning! These quintessential boots will really complete any alien's look.

Swatches: 35 Polys: 3244

Vivienne Heels - Inspired by a particular pair of 1990 Vivienne Westwoods, these heels really make an impact...especially if you're landing from space!

Swatches: 35 Polys: 786

 Stunning Sunglasses: Aside from the blue skin, Juno is known for her very specific sunglasses with the incredibly realistic painted highlights that allow her to blend seamlessly with the Earth's population. Also available in regular tinted and clear lenses.

Swatches: 38 Polys: 1876

 Gawjus Gloves: Your regular kitchen gloves made better with some stunning nail polish! An important piece of the human disguise. Comes in fitted and loose versions.

Swatches: 35 Polys: 1748 (loose only)

Cucumber Eye Mask & Facepack - Look after your gawjus blue skin with this hydrating facemask, paired with some ominously floating cucumber slices! Swatches: 12 (mask) 1 (cucumber) Polys: 192 (cucumber)

Juno's Sickening Makeup - She's a makeup queen now...well no, I'll probably never do makeup again, but it would be truly rude to deliver a Juno set without her stunning drag makeup! This includes brows, eyeshadow, blush, lips and highlights.

 Pop Earrings - Are they popped gum, are they shiny brains? Answers may vary, but these earrings are iconic and bring some 80s flair to an outfit!

Swatches: 35 Polys: 7788

 Cyberslut Ear Stretchers - Lovely, and very shiny hoop ear stretchers when you want to make a statement, but a regular hoop just isn't doing it.

Swatches: 35 Polys: 1461

 Circe Earrings V1 - Simple button earrings in a truly 60s/70s style!

Swatches: 45 Polys: 260

Circe Earrings V2 - The same Circe earrings, but bigger!

Swatches: 45 Polys: 260

 Noodlesoother Earrings - Oversized, abstract 60s/70s earrings for that truly mod look!

Swatches: 41 Polys: 4584

Stunning Cat Glasses - A pair of sunglasses for Juno's sweet baby Cyril! Now they can blend in with the humans together! The space cats are gatekeeping these glasses from the space dogs. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Swatches: 35 Polys: 1476

Gawjus Wall Paint - 35 Plain paint swatches with white crown and skirting in the expanded Juno palette! Gawjus Wallpaper - A collection of camp, kitschy, mid-century and mod patterns to brighten up your spaceship or home. Country Carpets: Yes, the 'r' is silent. Lovely carpets in the same swatches available for the wall coverings!

 Juno's Stunning Artwork: Juno's art explores the world as an alien, often pulling inspiration from the trans experience. Add one of these statement pieces to your home for a truly unique talking piece your neighbours will covet but never own (apart from Sylvia-Marie Mashuga. She would totally own at least one). Also comes in a SFW version for the streamers among us...and also anyone who likes a PG experience.

Swatches: 10 Polys: 3036

Joy Despret Begone Sign - The most wretched and cursed vermin in the Junoverse, the Joy Desprets! When they see that you have all this stunning content, they'll come visiting. Head them off with this sign.

Swatches: 4 Polys: 246

Mind Boggling Mirror - Want to feel like Juno is always watching you? Perhaps even judging that outfit? Of course you do. Bring that feeling home with this mirror fashioned after her iconic glasses.

Swatches: 35 Polys: 1437

Judith Louise Doll - What Juno set would be complete without the Christina to her Joan, Ms. Judith Louise! Judith comes in a somewhat clean swatch, as well as a trashed swatch. That's not all, she also comes in a flying version as an oscillating fan!

Swatches: 2 Polys: 14910

 Juno in the Moon Neon Light - What is your house/ship missing? This. Why wouldn't you want a neon light version of Juno's face in your living room?

Swatches: 1 (adjust with the light options) Polys: 8566

And that brings us to the end of my part of the collab! If you're not following Juno, check out her socials here! Go check out @surely-sims' part of the collab here (preview below)!

[mimikittysblog]

The Princess - Prequel

Pairing: Mafia! Poly! Ateez x Fem! Stripper! Reader (ever so slightly Hongjoong focused but not by much)

Genre: Angst, fluff, a hint of smut (no actual sex scenes just mentioned)

Synopsis: Looking at ATZ you’d never expect that they were capable of being in love. Yet they are. How did this happen though? How did you get tangled up in this? And why were they so determined to keep you safe?

Warnings: Kidnapping, major violence, death/murder (not of the major characters), implied sexual activity, MxM of course, alcohol consumption, nightclubs, reader was a stripper, not proofread. So because of all of this please ⚠️MNDI⚠️ if I missed anything please let me know.

Word Count: 5,8k

A/N: ITS FINALLY HERE!!!! I won’t blabber here for too much! So I really hope you like this! Any feedback is appreciated! As well as any questions! Enjoy!

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

“Goodness this place is gorgeous!!” You squeal as you twirl around in your villa.

As San suggested, for your ten year anniversary, you and your husbands went out on a vacation. This year it was to Greece.

“You chose well my smart husband.” Hongjoong compliments Yeosang with a kiss.

“Thank you.” He smiles.

“You guys are too much!” You giggle as you open the glass doors that lead to the beach.

“Nothing is ever too much for you our princess.” Seonghwa says.

You can only smile back as you continue exploring the villa. Later that night you all, as per your request, laid on the beach to stargaze.

“Hmm 10 years with my amazing husbands.. what did I ever do to deserve thissss?” You sighed

Hongjoong who was beside you, reached over and grabbed your hand. Brought it to his lips and kissed it.

“Existing. You exist.”

Before you could protest all of your husbands sounded their agreements to captains statement.

While some of that statement holds true. As the moment the boys met you all those years ago, they knew they would give you everything you ever wanted.

The thing is.. something actually did happened to you.. something that technically you did.

That thing made them want to forever repay you. To make sure a smile will forever be on your face, your heart always content and your mind forever at ease.

The truth is your kidnapping that happened almost a month ago now, was not the first time you were taken from them.

There was only ever one other time.

That fateful night is what changed your husbands to be as protective as they are towards you now.

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

Let’s start at the beginning though.

See, while now the name ATZ sends a chill down most people’s spine in your town. Possibly even your province. Soon it’s possible even your entire country. As they’re the most powerful group of them all. 8 powerful men who wouldn’t let anything get in their way.

They didn’t start like this though.

They started out as 8 unfortunate boys all from different parts of town. Some came from cruel families, some were even orphans. Yet somehow they all met each other and instantly clicking like it was fate, or destiny. They all completed each other in a way and shared similar goals and dreams. As well as similar feelings towards the cruel world.

Hongjoong hated how he was constantly looked down upon. Yunho loathed his abusive high class life. Seonghwa and San despised the cruelty society showed them. Yeosang never understood the health care system. Mingi and Wooyoung also loathe their living conditions all because of loan sharks. Jongho hated stupid rich families that took away his.

So they set out to do something about it. Maybe not necessarily to change the world, but to change their situation. It started small, just petty theft. They then moved on to scams and then to grand larceny and so on. Their crimes kept growing and growing in severity. Eventually establishing themselves as a worthy threat.

They knew they became monsters. Somewhat becoming the thing they hated. They thought it was only fair though. If the world was going to be cruel to them, they’ll be cruel back. Sometimes even crueler.

Eventually they could take small breaks and reward themselves after all the work they’ve done.

Plus men like them need to unwind somehow. So what better way than at a nice club with cold drinks and hot strippers?

In the beginning they actually never went to the same club twice, just to make sure they’re always moving. Yet one night at this particular club, something or specifically someone, made them want to stay there forever.

You.

You were the top stripper at this club. Everyone wanted a piece of you. They were no different. Well… maybe a little different. As their desire for you from the moment they saw you was a strong familiar feeling. It felt like when they first met each other for the first time all those years ago.

What they didn’t know is that when your eyes met theirs, you felt exactly the same way. Somewhere deep in your heart you knew they were the people who will make you feel complete.

Just like that, after a single private night with you (which they paid over 10x your usual rate, just to make sure they have you all to themselves), they went from constantly moving clubs to only ever going to this one. You never complained though.

They were your favorite clients.

Behind closed doors though, they were more than that. They were yours. And you weren’t gonna have it any other way. You always got what you wanted anyway. So when they first started becoming regulars, you did whatever it took to make them want to keep you.

You didn’t have to do much really.

They were already yours the second you gave them your famous lap dances.

Yet they weren’t gonna refuse whatever you had to offer. And what you had to offer was incredibly valuable.

Inside information.

People love to talk, especially when they thought no one was listening. Yet your ears were always wide open. Always looking out for the latest inside scoop or internal plans that the boys might need. So when the next time they see you, you always have something to tell them.

While you ride them of course.

Not something you do with your clients but yet again they’ve always been the exception. They give nice tips and more.

There was also actually something unexpected that you were able to give to them. Actually far more valuable than the information you had.

Comfort.

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

It isn’t easy being them. They always have to suck up the hard parts of being what they are. It is their consequence. Sure they enjoy some parts of the job, they gain some sick pleasures for the cruelty they inflict. Yet sometimes it’s still a lot.

However with you now being with them, you’re able to just be there to lend an extra shoulder. It made things much easier. You were somehow able to make them feel human again. Not like the monsters they believed they are.

What was first an exchange of goods truly became much more. Now half of the time the guys show up, they truly just wanna hang out with you and drink.

Sure they hope to possibly get a kiss here and there too since they could never resist you. But it really wasn’t really their main reason to see you anymore.

And actually, hanging out with you was also what caused them to realize and admit their feelings for each other.

“..You don’t realize the rest has feelings for you?” You say with a raised eyebrow at the four who decided to give you a visit tonight.

They don’t always go to your club together, sometimes they go alone or even in small groups.

“Heck you guys don’t realize you all have feelings for each other?” You chuckle.

“You look out and care for each other the same way you do me! And as far as I can tell! You don’t look at me as just a friend.” You continue with a smirk.

Oh the looks on their faces. You’ve never seen these men be so shy before.

“…FUCK ALRIGHT FINE! I’ve been in love with all of you for a year now!” Wooyoung finally snaps.

“…me too..” Jongho then admits after a moment of silence.

“..I.. didn’t realize what I felt for you guys was.. love.. romantically I guess..” Mingi says sheepishly.

“..me neither… fuck I never thought I’d ever feel anything romantically.” Yunho whines.

“You’re still only human Yunho. And love like this is something most humans are capable of.” You say as you move to sit in his lap.

“What now..?” Jongho asks.

“That my dear Jongie, is up for you and everyone else to decided. But one favor? don’t leave me out of it?” You giggle.

Yunho could only chuckle before pulling you into a kiss.

“Never.”

Soon another round of fun commenced, where the boys became slightly more touchy towards each other. The next time they visited though, you could tell they were significantly more touchy. More happy too.

So after two years of constantly meeting up with you, they were able to become much more than friends. And they wanted you to be apart of them.

How could you ever say no?

It was all really wonderful.

After a few more visits since making it official the guys decided they wanted to do this properly. So they often took you out when you weren’t working. Being more lovely than all of the guys you’ve ever dated to the point you wondered if they were really a mafia group.

Every date they took you on was just filled with joy and love.

Here they also got to learn more about you as well. How funny you are, brightening their day with laughs. How kind you are with how much you care for them. How smart you are whenever there are problems to be solved and you even helped them with some of their plans. They also learned of your unfortunate background like theirs. How relatable it was. It just makes them fall for you even more and just solidifies how much you mean to them.

Because of that they started to really treat you like a Princess. They even started calling you that. You didn’t think you deserved it but they always told you otherwise. To them you were a princess.

Their Princess.

Despite everything you all should’ve been more careful though.

Cause love is a double edged sword.

And someone was about to exploit that.

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

“Good night my Joongie.” You smile as Hongjoong is leaving your club.

“I’ll miss you princess.” He says softly stroking your face before giving you one last kiss.

“I’ll miss you too.”

Tonight it was just Hongjoong visiting. Just a quick meet up to see and treat you for the night.

He shouldn’t have.

Or maybe he should’ve stayed longer.

Or He should’ve taken you home even.

‘Cause even until now, he believed if he did, what happened to you would’ve been avoided.

That is because only an hour after he left. Someone paid you a little visit. It definitely wasn’t for your services though.

Or at least your normal services.

You were just in your dressing room counting the money you made for the night. Chuckling when you realized literally half of it was from Joong, despite you no longer charging them.

When suddenly your room was busted into.

“What the fuck?!” You yell jumping up from your chair.

“Wrong room fellas. If you’re looking for the bathroom it’s on the other side of the building! Now please get out of my dressing room. And if you’re actually here looking for a night with me, tough luck my shift is over.”

They didn’t reply. Instead they took steps towards you with cynical smirks.

You immediately knew they were bad news.

Your heart rate quickened as you tried to figure a way out fast. The men were blocking your door so your window was the only option. Once you realized that you quickly threw a nearby chair at them and scrambled to the window.

You were unfortunate still too slow, or maybe they were just too fast. They grabbed you but you did whatever you could. You kicked, you clawed, bit, screamed.

Whatever you could.

The men were kinda impressed at your efforts but they weren’t gonna deal with you like this. So one of them got out a cloth of chloroform and put it over your airways. You still fought as best you could but the chemical was taking its effects.

“You’re a feisty one. I can see why ATZ likes you.”

That’s the last thing you hear before you passed out. Panic fills you as you realize the reason why they’re after you. They’re trying to get to your loves using you. But you were determined to not let them.

When you finally regain consciousness, you saw you were in a dark room. Most likely a basement. You also felt the rope that was digging into your skin, and the rough scratchy wooden chair.

“Ah! So you’re finally awake!”

You looked to your side and saw the same man that took you. Along with his thugs.

“What the fuck do you want from me?!” You growled, playing dumb.

“Oh don’t act stupid.” He snapped. “We know about your little relationship with ATZ.”

“They’re my clients?!”

“Oh no no. Word on the street is that they’re more. And after just watching you for a few weeks.. we see that they’re so much more.” He chuckled.

“Creep.”

“Maybe. Look pretty, just tell me where their hideout is, what their upcoming plans are and any weaknesses that they have. That’s all and we’ll let you go.” He said with a smirk.

“They’re literally my clients you idiot. Nothing more. I don’t fucking know anything besides their names.”

SMACK

“Stop lying.” He suddenly snapped after smacking you across the face.

He then showed you an abundance of pictures of you and your boys in the club looking far too close to simply be clients. Then he even showed you some pics of you all out on those dates.

You and Yeosang on the beach.

Seonghwa and Hongjoong taking you shopping.

San eating with you at a fancy restaurant.

Yunho, Jongho and Wooyoung having a staycation with you at a 5 star hotel.

Mingi with you at a drive in theater in his most luxurious car.

And more.

You gulped in fear looking at all of these photos. However you just took a deep breath before looking back up.

“I don’t know anything.”

You’re not breaking.

The man then chuckled before leaning down to get up all in your face.

“Pretty. Why are you keeping secrets for them huh? Do you really think they love you? You? A stripper? They’re just bored sweetheart. They’ll get rid of you eventually.” He starts laughing at you. At the absurdity that you thought that they love you.

“So you know what I say? I say get rid of them first. Throw them under the bus! Just tell me what I want to know okay? Then I’ll let you go. Promise!” He continues. Just before pulling out a switch blade and pressing it into your cheek.

“…I don’t want to have to ruin your pretty face and body. Don’t make me angry.”

…

He waited patiently while looking into your eyes. Wanting to read your expression. He then smirked widely when he saw your eyes water.

A single tear then flowed down your cheek. Thinking he’s finally got you. But to his surprise…

You’re not. Breaking.

“Never.”

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

“Hongjoong! Back from seeing darling?” Jongho ask when he saw him return home. He then walked up and gave him a hug.

“Mhm. How was the mission? Everything went well?” Hongjoong asked.

“Of course it did. Better than expected!” Wooyoung suddenly chirped in and snuggled into Joong.

“Good. Now get off me.” He said rolling his eyes. Pretending he didn’t like it.

“…Naaaahhhhh! I missed you! And our Princess! You smell like her.. hmm How is she?”

“Wonderful as always. She decided to end her shift early today.”

“Well why didn’t you take her home with you then? We all miss her you know that.” Mingi asks as he approaches Hongjoong as well. “And get off him! He’s had a long day!”

“I did too and this is how I recharge!” Wooyoung retaliates hugging Hongjoong even closer then giving him a kiss.

“I would but… I don’t know.. She also had a long day and maybe she’d want some alone time tonight..” Hongjoong explains as he moves to the couch.

“How about we just call her?” Jongho shrugs as he sits next to him.

“Yeaaahhh! If she really wants some alone time we’ll let her of course!” Wooyoung reasons as he looks up at him. “Don’t you miss her already too? I seriously can’t take being away from her for too long.” He continues.

“Enough with your whining! I’m calling her now.” Yeosang suddenly says as he walked into the room, phone in hand.

“Hmm she’s not picking up.” Yeosang frowns.

“She’s asleep already?” Mingi asks. Confused as you’re usually still up.

“Maybe she’s that tired.. lets not pester her…” Hongjoong tries to reason.

“Just try one more time. And put it on speaker!” Wooyoung says.

Yeosang only smiles at his whiney boyfriend’s antics as he dials your number again. Putting it on speaker per his request. The phone rang for a while. It rang to the point they were gonna give up and just let you rest. Thinking the assumption of you being asleep to be correct. However the phone was eventually answered.

“Oh darling! You’re still awake! Or did we wake you? Sorry love… we just wanted to know if maybe.. you’d want to come over? We all miss you! Joongie too even though he just saw you hehe” Yeosang explains with a big smile. The others expressions matching his, waiting for your response. Yet.. you didn’t? It was almost dead silent on your end.

“..Darling?”

Soon they started to hear soft panting.

A sinking feeling started to settle upon them.

“Didn’t think you’d call so soon.” A cheery voice suddenly said.

A cheery male voice.

“What the fuck?!” Mingi suddenly burst.

He then grabs the phone out of Yeosangs hand.

“Who are you?! Where’s our girl?!?”

At the loud boom of his voice, the other lovers suddenly rushed to the living room.

“What’s going on?” Seonghwa asks concerningly.

“We.. we tried calling Y/n! But.. this guy answered?!” Jongho explains in a soft panic.

“What?!” San screams.

“Your girl? Cute. Hey pretty. They’re looking for you. Why don’t you say hi? Hmm?”

“Who the fuck are you?!” Mingi continues to bark.

Suddenly a chill runs down their spine once they heard your whimper.

“Darling?? Princess are you alright?!” Yeosang yells into the phone.

You still don’t say anything, just another soft whimper.

“Speak up! They wanna hear you pretty! Oh! Maybe this will make you talk.”

“..N-no!!!”

Just then your painful ear piercing scream came through the phone.

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

It’s so much.

it’s almost too much.

The pain.

For what seems like hours these men have been subjecting you to so much pain. In hopes you’ll finally talk. You’ll finally break.

But you won’t.

You can’t.

They’ve also been subjecting you to mental pain. Screaming insults and lies. Telling you how much you don’t mean to your boys, so you should just give in and tell them what they want. How there’s no point in you keeping your mouth shut. How if they weren’t gonna kill you, your “loves” eventually will.

But you didn’t care.

You’re too far gone. Maybe you’re stupid. Maybe you’re insane.

Or maybe you’re simply in love.

So even though you’ve come to acknowledge that maybe they’re right. Maybe you really are nothing but ATZ’s plaything to use when they’re bored. That they wouldn’t even blink an eye at the fact that you’re here or if you died.

You still didn’t care.

Sure it hurts…

The thought that the men you love so much wouldn’t think twice abut throwing you away was almost unbearable.

Almost.

What was unbearable for you though was the thought of them losing. Losing everything they’ve worked for. Everything they’ve built. And especially if they lost their lives.

No.

You knew from the first moment they held you, you’d do anything for them.

As pathetic as that is.

You couldn’t care less.

You love them.

Even if they didn’t.

So you’ll die here. Tortured beyond reason. Just so they stay protected, hidden and alive.

Or so you thought.

Cause the truth is they do care…

‘They called me…’ you thought to yourself

To initially invite you over cause they missed you.

But now their concerned voices are screaming out to you. Begging to know if you’re okay. Begging for your captor to let you go. Bargaining anything for your release.

Hearing all of that you could only whimper.

Overwhelmed with a sense of relief that they in fact did love you.

But you’re determined to keep them safe. So you kept your mouth shut.

Well…

Until that knife came down into your thigh.

“NO STOP IT!!!”

“LET HER GO!! WE’LL TELL YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT! WE’LL GIVE YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT!!”

“PRINCESS!!”

“I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU! BASTARD!”

“Princess talk to us! Please!”

Your captor laughs.

“Awww.. maybe we were wrong pretty. Maybe they do love you. No matter. Still just tell me hmm? Tell me where they are.” The man taunted you. Harshly digging his finger into one of your wounds. Eliciting another scream for you.

“That’s what you wanted to know?!? FUCK FINE! WE’LL TELL YOU! WE’RE-“

“No!”

With whatever strength you had left. You yelped out a plea, cutting Hongjoong off.

“D-don’t.. don’t tell him anything..! AHH!” The finger dug in deeper.

“Even now you’re still protecting them? You’re much more pathetic than I thought.”

“Princess… Princess please.. just tell him. Or let us tell him… don’t do this..” You hear San beg softly over the phone.

“Our love.. our everything please… We can handle it.. just tell him.. or let us! Please!” Jongho added.

“Huh.. I’ve been wondering for so long! What could possibly be your guys weakness?! Turns out… I’ve been giving her a beating this whole time.” Your captor laughs along with his other goons.

“I promise you. We’ll make you fucking pay for even daring to lay a finger on her.” Yunho growls.

“Hmm I’ve been doing much more than that haven’t I pretty?”

SMACK

“STOP!”

“So tell me!”

“We’re at-“

“B-boys stop..!”

“Oh my god stop interrupting them!”

“Y-you wanted me to talk so badly?! I’ll fucking talk! Just.. let me talk to them first!” You yelled.

He stays silent for a minute. Thinking. He then sees no harm in letting you talk to them cause you are finally talking. So he then rolls his eyes at you before moving the phone closer to you.

“..Boys…” You cry.

“Princess! We’re here!” Seonghwa yells, trying to reassure you.

“It’ll be okay our love! Just h-hang on okay?” San adds.

“Just tell him what he wants to know..! We’ll handle it yeah..?” Mingi asks of you.

“My lovely boys.. please listen to me very carefully…” You take a deep breath as you get choked up. Tears streaming down your face.

“I love you. So much. So please… Give this fucker hell for me.”

As soon as those words leave your mouth, you lurched forward and was able bit into your captor’s wrist.

“ACK FUCK!!! YOU FUCKING BITCH!”

He then drops the phone trying to get out of your bite. Now while your upper body was tied up, stupidly your legs were not. So with your free leg you stomped on the phone, effectively smashing it.

Cutting off your communication with your boys.

Soon enough your captor’s goons pulled you off of his wrist.

“You’ll never know where they are! And you’ll never beat them! And when they kill you, I’ll deal with you in hell myself you fucking bastard.” You vow with conviction and eyes filled with a crazed fiery passion, after spitting his blood onto his face.

“Well then enjoy hell you psycho bitch.”

Your world suddenly went black. His fist being the last thing you saw.

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

“What? Princes-“

BEEP BEEP

Call disconnected.

“NO!!!”

“PRINCESS NO!!”

“FUCK!”

Panic ensues. The boys are spiraling, still screaming pleas into the phone hoping it’s some kind of glitch. Hoping you can still hear them.

“Yeosang please tell me you got their location?!?! Please!!” San yells to the boy who was trying to locate you through the call.

“W-wait! I-it’s still searching!!” He yells back, eyes filled with tears after hearing everything. Eyes frantically looking at his laptop screen, begging for it to give him your location.

“The call ended!!! Are you sure the GPS can find it?!” Jongho asks.

“It has to!!! God knows what’s happening to her!!!” Wooyoung answers him.

“Please.. please princess hold on… we’ll find you..!” Seonghwa pleads softly into his shaky hands.

“FOUND IT!”

“LETS GO!” Hongjoong barks.

Within a blink of an eye, the boys got into their vehicles and were off. Disregarding any traffic laws and almost certainly causing some kind of accident. But that’s a later problem. They just needed to save you. Quick.

“We’re on our way.. please just hang on…” Yunho says softly as he floors it.

And just like that they found the place where the GPS says you were. It looked like an abandoned house. However based on the armed guards that were surrounding the area, they’ll bet that you were in fact in there.

“Everyone be safe!!! But do what you must to find and get her back!!!” Hongjoong orders through their radio.

Just like that, without mercy and a second thought they stormed in, killing anyone and everyone that wasn’t you in this wretched building. Every room they entered, their eyes searched frantically. Desperate to find you. Absolutely terrified of your fate.

Now you would think that they were outnumbered. As you would think the entire building is just filled with tens of henchmen and it was just the eight of them. You would in fact be correct. They were outnumbered.

However that didn’t matter.

The reality being nothing has ever stopped them before.

And nothing will stop them now.

Especially with your life on the line.

They’re filled with so much pure rage and determination. To the point that if they had to save you in hell from the devil himself. They would.

So what should’ve been a death trap for ATZ. Became a death sentence for your captors.

Eventually Mingi who was ahead of the others, found a looked door. With all his might plus with the adrenaline pumping through him, he broke it down. He saw it lead to a basement and he just knew you were in there.

“GUYS!!! COME HERE!” He shouted before running into the basement.

Yet when he got to the bottom, dread immediately plagued his heart. What he found should’ve filled him with relief but it didn’t. What he found was you. Unresponsive. Tied to a chair with your head tilted down. Bloodied and bruised beyond compression.

No.. you can’t be…

“P-princess…”

“Mingi?! Did you find he- ...no… please no…” Yunho whispered.

The others soon followed Mingi into the basement. When they all saw you though, they feared the worst. When Hongjoong saw the sight of you, he felt his world completely shatter.

“Princess…” He said before running to you and getting on his knees before you. You looked so broken. He didnt even have the heart to touch you.

He couldn’t see you breathing… So he believed the worst.

“Princess no..”

Some just catching a glance at you and already couldn’t take it. Causing them to turn away while holding in their tears. The others just kept staring at you, holding on to hope, approaching you softly.

Hongjoong then ever so softly moved your blood soaked hair out of your equally bloody face.

“Princess.. wake up… l-look at me please..”

Just hours ago he left you at your club after a lovely visit filled with laughter and love. Just hours ago he saw you smile so beautifully at him. Just hours ago you kissed him goodbye. Just hours ago… you were alive…

He’ll never forgive himself.

“I’m so sorry… I’m so so sorry…” he sobbed.

He looks down unable to look at your state anymore. At the sound of their boyfriends cries, they all broke down.

They couldn’t believe that they were too late. They couldn’t believe that they lost you. They knew that they should get out of there. They’re sure more men were gonna come after them but they’re finding it hard to care. You were gone. What does it matter anymore?

Or so they thought.

As Seonghwa was approaching you to cut you out. He noticed your finger twitched.

‘She’s alive..?!’ Seonghwa thinks, eyes widening

Then he sees you trying to move your head ever so slightly and he knows you’re still alive.

You’re still with them.

“S-she’s moving!!! She’s MOVING! she’s alive!! Hongjoong she’s alive!!!”

Hongjoong, who was closest to you, along with everyone else’s eyes immediately snapped back up and saw your own fluttering open.

“…j-joong..ie..”

“P-princess!!!! Cut her out now!! Seonghwa!! Yeosang!! Take her to the nearest hospital!! Do what you must to get her urgent care!! We’ll deal with everything later!! Princess hold on okay??? Just hold on!!” Hongjoong orders.

As quickly and carefully as they could, they cut you out of your restraints and carried you out. While Seonghwa and Yeosang left to take care of you. The others are going to deliver on their promise.

So they continued their massacre in this building. They continued to kill anyone in their sight, being more brutal now. Knowing you were no longer in this building. Also because they saw what they had done to you.

No person should live after what they had done to you.

Eventually they burst into a lavish office. Only to see just a man sitting at his desk sipping wine.

“So? You’re finally here. Did you get to her in time? Or did she kick the bucket already?” He chuckles.

Recognizing his voice, they knew this was the man responsible. They also saw the blood on his hands and clothes. It completely blinded them with rage once again, that this man could tease them like that as he was splattered in your blood.

So while usually the boys did enjoy some stupid banter between their enemies. Obviously though, they’re currently not in the mood.

So without blinking, let alone saying a single word. Hongjoong walked up to him and knocked him out with a single wrath filled punch.

Oh your captor will think hell will look like heaven when your boys are done with him.

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

Your eyes begin to open. Bright light is what greats you. For a split second you thought you died. Thankfully though you felt their hands on you. Knowing that it’s their way to make sure you’re still there with them. At the flutter of your eyes they perk up, waiting to see if you’re really waking up.

You did.

You opened your eyes fully and take in the sight of them.

My goodness…

They look so disheveled..

They’ve never looked this sad, this worried, this.. broken…

You couldn’t help but pout a little before slowly smiling when you really understood the situation.

You’re still alive. You’re still with them. And they’re right here.

“M-my loves…”

Not a single pair of eyes were dry in that room.

Everyone started to sob at the reality that you’re gonna be okay.

“We did what you asked princess… we killed him. We made sure he suffered too.” Hongjoong tells you in a whisper.

“He won’t hurt you anymore.” Yeosang adds.

“No one will.” Seonghwa says.

“We promise.” Wooyoung tells you as the others nod.

You smile at them before crying even more.

“I’m.. I’m just h-happy you’re here… I’m happy you.. you actually love me..” You sob.

“what?! Of course we do..!” Yunho says

“He.. he made me think… y-you’ll… you’d throw me away..”

“Never.” San promises.

“I was.. so scared… b-but I promised myself t-they wouldn’t get to you.. I.. I wasn’t gonna let them..!” You cried harder, remembering all they put you through.

The boys did what they could to comfort you. Reassuring you that they were safe and that you are very loved. Your cries and the stories you tell of what they did to you also causing them extreme pain.

At the end of your retelling, you heard a soft thump. You all looked over to see Hongjoong on his knees beside your bed.

“J-joongie..? My love what are you-“

“I’m sorry… it’s all my fault.” He starts, with a shakiness in his voice.

“Hongjoong my love that’s not true-“

“No. It is. I should’ve brought you home. I should’ve protected you. You didn’t deserve any of that. I.. I’m sorry.” He starts, tears streaming down his face.

“But I promise you princess. I will do. Anything. And everything. For you. To make sure this doesn’t happen again. To make sure you’re safe, happy and loved. I’ll make sure nothing will ever harm you again. I swear.” He vows to you still on his knees.

As you were about to speak, all of your boys then began to sink to their knees as well.

“We swear too.” Jongho vows as well.

“Darlings…”

“We’ll make sure you’re the most respected. The most feared. The most important person anyone will ever know. No one will ever dare harm you again.” Yunho adds to the vow.

You hear it in their voice. They mean it.

And these boys always delivers on their promises.

“My loves… Thank you.” You say softly.

Just like that, that’s how the tradition of people bowing down to you started.

It took you weeks to fully recover. The boys making sure to keep you company and you get the best service while you were healing.

Though they had lots to do though. They had to deal with the hospital and the traffic accidents caused trying to get to you. It was all worth it though. Because at the end of the day, you’re always worth it.

Once you were discharged they surprised you by revealing that they bought a new home. One where you’ll be living in with them. It really was a dream.

A couple of years later, you all finally decided to tie the knot. It was a lavish but small wedding. You nine are the only family you have. So it’s just you and the very confused officiate. You wouldn’t have it any other way though.

It really was the best night of your lives.

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

Ten years later here you are.

Celebrating your anniversary once again.

After your night on the beach, most of you were discussing what else to do while you’re on vacation. You noticed however that one of you was not there. You looked around the villa to find Hongjoong at one of the balconies.

“Joongie..? Sweetheart? What are you doing here my dear husband hmm?” You ask as you approach him. Hugging him from behind.

“…I can’t believe we’re here.” He softly mumbles.

“..in.. Greece?” You ask confused

Hongjoong chuckles before turning around to hug you.

“No. I can’t believe we’ve been married for ten years.. together for.. what 16? And.. happy. After everything…” He says softly cupping your cheek and rubbing it softly.

You giggle before nodding.

“Me neither darling.. but I can see the sadness in your eyes. What’s troubling you hmm?”

“..I just… I can’t believe you still love us after everything. My love.. you got kidnapped again…. after I promised.. I vowed. that I would keep you safe. You stayed with us after all of that and I can’t really see how... I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if you suddenly ran away fro-“

You then cut him off his rambling with a kiss.

“Never say such ridiculous things my husband.” You said sternly. “I would gladly get kidnapped everyday if it means you’d be the one that saves me and I could be with you forever. Why? Because you’re worth it.”

“You’ve made me feel so happy, loved and alive all these years. When before you all I was just surviving. I love all of you so much. You call me your princess because you treat me like one. Why would I ever run away from that? …Please stop blaming yourself for what happened to me all those years ago and what happened recently. None of it was your fault. Besides! Remember what I told you all? What really harmed me that night was not the physical aspect of it. Sure it hurt. But what really made it torture was the thought that you wouldn’t save me… that you didn’t love me. But you do. So it made it worth it and I never once doubted your love for me ever again. So please never doubt mine.”

Before he could argue you cut him off with a kiss once again.

“No arguing with your wife on our anniversary. …or ever cause I’m always right anyway.” You giggle.

It caused Hongjoong to laugh too before nodding and pulling you into one last kiss.

“Alright.. I love you darling. Forever.”

“I love you more.”

“YAAAH WHAT ABOUT US??”

You turned around to see the rest of your husbands, Wooyoung in the middle all pouty.

“Oh just get in here already!” You say before they all quickly come over and wrap you two up in a big group hug.

Getting here wasn’t easy. There are also a million things that you guys went through that parts of you wish you didn’t. Sometimes you wish you all were just a normal married couple that wasn’t constantly targeted.

Yet moments like these…

Yeah.

It’s worth it.

“Sooooo ready to continue celebrating our ten years in this beautiful place my loves?” Yunho asks

“Let’s go!”

.✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ✧.

© mimikittysblog 2025

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[zozowrites]

I Lied

Emily Prentiss x BAU!fem!reader

words: 1.8k

Warnings: kissing, canon typical violence (happy ending)

A/N: this was originally inspired by the song I Lied by Housewife, and then I kept writing and it took a turn (oopsies). Also not proofread.

For game nights at Penelope’s, you could always depend on fun mixed drinks and maybe a hangover the next morning. This is why you enjoyed nights at Rossi’s better; eating good, homemade Italian food, drinking good wine, and dancing with your friends and coworkers would never let you down. 

Reaching for the bottle or red, Emily refills her glass and tops of your own, absently letting the strap of her tank top slip off her shoulder. She doesn’t seem to care that you’re watching her with a hint of friendly want in your eye. The silky cream of the tank top perfectly complimented her brown slacks and black hair. It somehow brought out the red of her lipstick in a way that made it match the wine she was bringing up to her lips, after she had clinked her glass against yours with a wink. You were also a little wine-drunk, but it didn’t escape your mind to know the added swing in Emily’s hips was because she wanted you to watch her walk away. 

As the night came to a close, everyone paired off to head back to their respective homes, and it only felt right that you and Emily split a cab. 

When the car stopped outside of her apartment building, she paid for the cab and you didn’t resist when she grabbed your hand to pull you out of the car and up the steps with her. 

She lets go when you reach her door, so that she can unlock it. In the silence it dawns on you that you’re maybe standing too close. You can’t escape the awkward feeling. 

“What are you doing?” Emily asks and pushed the door open. It’s almost like she could read your thoughts. 

“I’m making sure you get home safe.” Is all that you could respond with. Technically true. 

She rolls her eyes and doesn’t need to grab your wrist again to know you’ll follow her inside. She hands you a glass of water, clinking it with her own like she did to your wine glass earlier in the night. 

However this time she doesn’t walk away. She lingers in front of you, sets her glass down on the counter to your left and rests her other hand on the other side, so close to you that when you breathe the soft warmth of your hip brushes over her wrist. 

She’s searching your eyes, but for the first time with Emily you don’t know what she’s looking for. You had spent a good two years as coworkers before the line got a little blurry. You’ve spent the last ten months sharing looks and jokes and whispers on the jet, or long talks in the hallways of hotel rooms on trips. The pair of you seemed to communicate the most through your eyes. Quick glance on the jet, playing off of each other’s ideas in meetings, or the look of simple understanding, when to anyone else it likely wouldn’t feel that simple at all. Of course there were the lingering touches, the flirty quips, and the occasional gentle and worried gaze, because no complicated relationship could be complete without those too, right? 

Your heart was practically beating out of your chest, and you were certain Emily could hear it. If only your mind could think about something other than what Emily’s lips might feel on yours for long enough to feel embarrassed. Or better yet, get your wits about you. This was your coworker, after all. This was your friend, after all. Because that’s what you two were, right, friends? 

“I’m not staying over,” You blurt out. Jumping the gun, you know, and she knows you know, seeing it in your eyes. 

“Okay,” Emily whispers, having gotten closer in the time your mind had spent running in place. “Just a little taste, at least until we’re sober?” 

She asks it as a question in her eyes but a statement in her words. 

You don’t have to nod, you just have to let the warmth of the moment, not caring that maybe it’s the wine or Emily’s enveloping aroma. She takes a step closer to bring one of her legs slightly in-between yours and her lips are quick to follow. 

Soft and full and warm and the perfect amount of wet, every physical feeling you’ve ever experienced before fails to even draw close to what you feel. Remembering to kiss her back, you follow her lead of taking in slow, moving your lips with hers in a perfect rhythm. Like the two of you were designed for this. 

Break for air and her hips against yours, the cold counter cutting through your own lacy-hemmed shirt. Goosebumps run up her back and you follow them with your fingers, twisting the hair at the nape of her neck around your fingers to bring her mouth back down to yours. 

A few more seconds and then you tug lightly, and it earns a soft moan from Emily, which is immediately swallowed by the relative silence in the rest of her apartment. 

It kicks you to your senses and you pull her face away by your grip on her hair. 

“What?” She asks, eyes searching your face before resting on your own eyes, which makes her thumbs stop rubbing the small circles into your hips that you hadn’t noticed until it stopped. 

“I’m not staying over.” You repeat yourself, not sure if you’re trying to tell her or yourself. 

“It’s too late to take a car, I’ll sleep on the couch.” She says and starts to gather different things from around the apartment. 

You stop her with a hand on her shoulder, keeping her still and pressing your front into her back to lean over and kiss her temple gently. 

“I won’t take a car if you don’t sleep on the couch.” 

She turns to look in your eyes and suddenly she gets it. 

“Ah, plausible deniability.” She says, smile growing over her sharp features. 

And so you don’t take a car and she doesn’t sleep on the couch. Instead you fall asleep innocently wrapped in each other’s arms in her bed, the soft linen twisted between your intertwined legs. 

Soon, Friday nights became your favorite nights. Before, it used to be Saturday, since you had a normally free day behind you and a hopefully free day in front of you. 

Friday’s had surpassed it when after the next few weeks of long cases ended with a night at the bar with the team, or a night at Derek’s or Penelope’s or Rossi’s. And that meant that your night ended with Emily’s sweet lips on yours. 

And then somehow when there weren’t team activities, you two still had plans on Friday evenings. You cooked steaks and drank wine and made out at your place one week, then binged movies and ice cream and got to kiss each other’s sticky lips the next. And somehow along the way alcohol wasn’t even involved anymore. 

“New case,” JJ says as she walks briskly into the bullpen, pulling you out of your planning for the weekend. Maybe you’d do a chill night in and something in the morning? A bookstore or a cafe or something. Maybe a walk along the mall. 

Everyone got out of their seats and made their way to the conference room, where JJ explained the series of three murders with the same MO but dying in seemingly random places. Wheels up to Oklahoma in 30. 

Two days into the case and you knocked on the door of a woman who said she had information on the killer but refused to leave her house or give it over the phone. Yourself and Reid took out your badges and she let you in when she answered, all slightly frazzled hair with a green shawl wrapped around her. 

She led you to the living room, where you sat on sofas across from each other, a few cups of piping hot tea sending rolls of steam into the air between you, bringing the soft smell of earl grey with it. 

The conversation was long, and the woman had nothing much to say, but each time one of you tried wrapping up the conversation, she said she had something more and proceeded to then talk in circles, still saying not much at all. 

You had enough. Confidently, you stood up and reached out for the woman’s hand, intending to thank her for her time and explain that you had to go on your way. She took your outstretched hand and yanked it down to her level, still in her seat. This caused your head to go crashing down towards the tray of tea, and one of the fragile cups shatters on the impact with your forehead, making blood gush from your face. 

Waves of searing pain start to rip through your body, starting in your head and the woman tightens her grip on your neck, which you didn’t even know she had. You can’t help but let out a cry, not really sure what it was adding to the scene. 

Through the little you could see, Emily appeared in the corner of your eye, and you guess it was Reid who knocked the woman out, and she fell to the ground, subsequently leaving you to collapse into Emily’s arms. 

The extra kerfuffle had left you seemingly unscathed, although it did require an extra day in Oklahoma for you to be medically cleared. That was more than enough time to explain to you and Reid (who had worked out this theory on his own over the course of the physical encounter) that the woman was actually the unsub you had been looking for, and the team had luckily figured out that she poisons her victims with tea. 

Emily follows you onto the plane, and instead of sitting in her regular chair, she opts to sit next to you on the couch. After what you thought was a respectable amount of time, you lean your head against her shoulder. She takes a deep breath and slips her hand into yours, reveling in the comfort of your proximity, of knowing you were still alive. She had a funny mixture of feelings swelling up in her. Something had shifted the moment she heard your scream and ran straight into the house, against Hotch’s orders. It was like she had no control, no thoughts in her head. She needed to get to you.

The rest of the team seems to share a knowing look, which anyone could have picked up on, profiler or not. All your friends were catching on. Neither you or Emily seemed to mind that people had some guesses or assumptions about what was going on. You didn’t care, as long as she kept her hand in yours. And she had plenty of time to sort out her own feelings later. For now, she'll make sure you get home safe.

[minimomoe]

How to Train your Demon

Pairing: trueform! Sukuna x Fem Reader

Summary: Life has all kinds of wins and losses. You don't know which category to put your new demon husband in though.

Tags: MDNI!, red string of fate trope, true form sukuna, librarian reader, soul mates, reincarnation, accidental summoning, love at first sight (but it's one-sided (until it's not)), Sukuna is demon, but he's v much in love, smut and stuff eventually i guess....

Part: I. II. III. IV. V. VI. VII. VIII. IX. X. XI. XII. XIII. (completed)

Rule no. 9: Make Sure Instructions are Explicitly Clear

When you came back to the kitchen, Uraume was still there. In fact, upon further inspection of your kitchen, the place looked cleaner than before. Cleaner than the first time you moved in. You were grateful but felt strange. You didn’t ask them to tidy up but Uraume did it without your request. You came back before leaving to set the record straight because you didn’t need nor want a housekeeper. 

You eyed the empty plate that laid in front of Sukuna with disdain. It was practically clean, the greasy streaks from the meaty meal painted the white porcelain.

“Uraume, you don’t need to do all of this,” you gestured around to the house. “You’re a guest here. Please, take it easy.” “You’ll confuse them,” Sukuna said gruffly. “But as of today, Uraume will not be confined in the house.” 

You cocked your eyebrow at Sukuna who stood up from his chair. You already sensed that whatever today’s agenda held would get under your already itchy skin. 

“You will take Uraume with you to work.”

Ah there it is. The start of a headache right behind your eyes because of his overbearing protection. “There wasn’t a question mark in that statement.” 

“I was not asking,” Sukuna crossed his arms over his chest with a heavy finality. “Uraume will go with you.” 

“I don’t need a babysitter,” you gritted out. “If anything, it would be better for you for Uraume to stay with you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a job to get to.”

On your way out of the door, you found Uraume holding your work bag along with your tumbler cup filled with your favorite drink. You awkwardly took it out of their hands while muttering thanks. “And you do not have to come to work with me. Take a break,” you added before you left the house to your coworker waiting for you in her car. 

“Finally. I thought I was gonna have to drag you out of there myself,” Jess joked when you buckled yourself up in the passenger seat. 

“Sorry about that,” you laughed weakly. You eyed your house, your face barely able to hide your forehead scrunching up in a wince. 

“Is something wrong? Is Cleo still sick?” 

“What? No, she’s fine… just fine…”

Jess nodded but did not believe you. “Okay. Let’s try this again but this time don’t be as cryptic. Is there anything you want to talk about?”

You were unsure of how much of your situation you should reveal to your coworker. You were close enough to call her a friend, she’s the one who even offered to take you to work for as long as you needed until your foot healed, but you didn’t know just how deep that friendship was. You decided to test the waters with a very generic situation. 

“I’m just having… relationship issues.”

“Shut up, since when?!” Her eyes lit up even as she kept them on the road. “You know after Toji I didn’t think that you would be interested in men anymore. Are you still dating guys? Or are we talking about a lucky woman this time around?”

“Worse,” you snorted under your breath. 

“Huh? I can’t really hear you.” 

“I said it’s still a man. I just– I think I’m in over my head here. He wants to get… married.”

“Oh,” she said quietly. “He proposed to you?”

“God no,” you quickly corrected. That was technically true. No proposal but apparently soulmates. “He keeps on bringing marriage up. He’s very serious about it.” 

Jess tilted her head side to side, carefully preparing her next set of words. “Getting married is a serious matter. I mean, it’s not permanent. It’s messy, but you could always get a divorce if he switches up on you.” Jess gave you a quick glance from the corner of her eye. “But you never mentioned wanting to be a wife before. Don’t let him rush you.”

“I’m not,” you promised. “I never thought about it, but…”

“But what?” Jess prompted. The car was stopped at a redlight so she could fully look at you. You sat with your hands in your laps, palm up, tracing the lifelines over and over again. 

“I don’t know. I don’t hate it? He gets on my nerves like no other. He’s old fashioned, bossy as hell, kinda sticks out like a sore thumb,” you listed off with knitted eyebrows.

“So what do you like about him?” Jess snorted. Your face uncharastically softened. Jess wondered if you knew how much affection for this mystery man you held in your body.

“He’s not ugly, for one. I happen to like his face a lot,” you admitted. “There’s also a sense of understanding that comes with him. And, we have… history with each other. Don’t worry, I’m not getting caught up in the nostalgia, but it does make things complicated.” 

You hadn’t realized it but you and Jess made it to the library already. She parked the car and shut off the engine, plunging the car in silence. You both stared out the windshield, watching your other coworkers mill into the building. 

“How long have you known him?”

You shook your head. “If I told you that you’d think that I’m crazy. I’m talking straight jacket and padded walls crazy.”

“Alright then. Keep your secrets. I’m not telling you this because I want to be a bridesmaid for your wedding, but I do hope you guys work it out. Fully commit yourself like you are a married couple and see how it feels. I mean, you’re only dating right now, so you can always back out.” 

If only it was that easy, you thought to yourself. Still, you appreciated her help. “You’re right. Thanks, Jess. I really needed to get that off of my chest.” 

Jess beamed at you and you couldn’t help but to smile back. “I can’t wait to meet him once you feel comfortable. And if he does break your heart, I will break his legs.” 

The thought of Jess, who was smaller than you, taking a crowbar to Sukuna’s knees tickled you deeply. The image made you laugh loudly and Jess was happy to see you back in high spirits. You both climbed out of the car hand in hand, giggling all the way to your work stations. You separated, leaving you to hobble over to the front desk for your shift and you prepared the desk. Suguru would not come in until a few more hours, but you watched the door like a hawk for the return of the book Sukuna came from or Suguru. You were only interrupted from your task when a small voice coming from the other side of your desk called out your name. You peered over to find one of your favorite patrons with multiple books teetering in his hands already. 

“Yuuji,” you crooned. “You’re here early.”

“Good morning! We’re going on a road trip so Dad said we have to run ear-rands! I chose the liberry first!” 

The pink haired boy grinned up at you with a smile full of missing teeth that warmed your heart. 

“A road trip right before school starts. Lucky you,” you nodded. You reached over to take the load out of his arms and began to scan them. “Do you think you have enough books to keep you busy?”

Yuuji nodded furiously. “I really like this series.” 

You inspected the book you checked out and saw that it was a fantasy book about dragons that was the latest craze with kids. It had amazing illustrations along with a simple but captivating plot. You gave Yuuji a thumbs up. “This is a good choice. You gotta tell me how it ends when you come back.” 

Once again you were given a bright flash of teeth from the young boy. For a second you had a bout of deja-vu. You’ve known Yuuji since he was in diapers, but you had a strange feeling that you have seen his face somewhere else before. The thought was gone as quickly as it came by when Kento Nanami came up with his own set of books to check out. 

“Good morning,” he greeted in his velvety voice that slid in the air like jazz. He gently placed his stack on the desk and lifted Yuuji from the floor to rest on his hip. 

“It’s always a good one when you stop by,” you winked. You spied Jess shelving books from across the floor but her gaze was firmly stuck on the blond man. You bit back a giggle from the way she was missing the shelf multiple times from staring too hard. 

“You know, since Yuuji likes fantasy so much, I would recommend a knight story over there where Jess is standing. It would be right up his alley,” you offered. Nanami craned his neck to your point and Jess ducked below the shelves to hide in record time. “Well, she was standing over there,” you scoffed. “Yuuji said you’re taking a trip?”

“Yes, it’s last minute,” Nanami mused. He looked almost disappointed that he didn’t see your friend in the section you directed him to before he turned to face you with a soft smile. “I’ve been so busy. I want him to have at least one fun memory besides the activities held here.” 

“I hope you two enjoy yourselves,” you said earnestly. Just as you were printing out the receipt for the books you saw a familiar swish of white hair disappear behind the nonfiction section. You have only seen it once but you were sure of who it belonged to. 

“Thank you. We will,” Nanami promised. You helped him pack the books in his tote bag without putting Yuuji down and fixed it on his other shoulder. “We’ll see you soon.” 

“Of course,” you waved, but your attention was already drawn elsewhere. You had enough patience to make sure there was nobody else in line that you needed to help before stomping wobbly over to where you saw Uraume. They were not-so-subtly stuffing their face in a book larger than their head to hide their identity. 

“Uraume,” you said in a low warning tone. They slowly dropped the book and looked at you head on. “What are you doing here? How did you get here? I thought I told you to stay at home.” 

Uraume skillfully only responded to your last statement. 

“Lord Sukuna insisted that I come and watch over you. He’s worried over your condition.” 

“He should be worried about his condition when I get my hands on–”

“Did Kento say anything about me?” Jess said behind you, scaring you out of your body. You put your hand over your chest to calm your frantic heart and Jess apologized. 

“Oh I didn’t know you were talking to somebody. I love your hair,” Jess complimented Uraume and they blushed. 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s cool or whatever,” you grumbled, pulling her away from Uaraume before she got a better look. You would have to deal with him later. As you were walking Jess back to the front desk she repeated her question. 

“He would’ve, if you didn’t do that little disappearing act.” 

“I just didn’t expect to see him,” she groaned. “Nobody should look that fine so early in the morning.” 

You found Uraume moving from section to section, seemingly not concerned with your whereabouts but you knew better. You were very annoyed, practically seething internally from Sukuna’s blatantly sending Uraume even though you had said not to. There was no getting through to him. 

“Aw man,” Jess sighed, looking down at her phone. You looked at her expectantly and she turned her phone to you. “Suguru’s not coming in today. One of his daughters is sick.” 

Fucking fantastic. “Poor girl,” you said instead. 

“Yeah, he said she got a nasty fever. I hope it’s nothing serious.” 

You already zoned out from the conversation, trying to come up with ways to work around his absence in relation to your demon issue. You slumped down into the nearest empty chair and spun around despondently. 

Jess poked your shoulder. “Lighten up. You don’t have to take on his shift, somebody else already took care of that.” 

“That’s great,” you mumbled without any real conviction. 

All you could do is hope that the universe was still on your side and you could get the journal back with or without Suguru being around. 

Thanks for reading loves!! lemme know what ya think xx

Part: I. II. III. IV. V. VI. VII. VIII. IX. X. XI. XII. XIII.

M.list || Twitter || Ao3

[izumiphoenix]

The Truth Behind the Mask

(1/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

Even before I played, I kept stumbling upon Astarion fanart and memes that made me assume he was just some overrated character who was only popular because of his flirty, sassy attitude (I’m so sorry Q^Q). That’s why I didn’t have the best first impression even before I started.

And even in-game, when you first meet him, Astarion seems like a shallow, selfish and flirty guy - someone who doesn’t really care what others think and just follows his whims.

Couldn’t be further from the truth!

From what I’ve seen in some discussions on social media, though, a lot of players still hold that first impression - even after completing his route. I’ve even seen people call him a red flag, label him evil or say they were disappointed in general.

Also, I feel like most guides (at least the ones I’ve come across) simplify his character too much - mainly focusing on which choices will gain his approval or disapproval. Maybe that’s to avoid spoilers, but still. There are definitely other players who see the deeper layers too - so this is just my way of sharing my personal journey of discovering the real Astarion.

So, how did that first impression start to unravel? When checking with the guide and watching his reactions and body language, I started thinking about why the approval/disapproval tips work.

How Approval Looks on the Surface

Let’s look at some general tips for gaining Astarion’s approval points: 

choosing evil replies/actions 

seeking power 

siding with evil characters 

deceiving your opponents  

supporting his desires  

being understanding and accepting towards him 

(bonus one, haven’t seen guides mention this) sarcastic replies  

And disapproval points: 

making pompous heroic statements (like “Worry not! I shall save everyone!”) 

helping the weak 

being open about your party's situation (tadpoles)

being judgmental or unsupportive towards him  

naive/goodie-two-shoes responses  

In most cases, it is explained by his natural inclination towards evil forces and power, making Astarion seem like a self-centred and power-hungry vampire who might, with Tav’s influence, turn to become a bit of a better person. Or not. 

But while it’s technically true that those actions affect his approval, there’s much more nuance to why Astarion reacts the way he does - especially in the early stages.

So what's really going on?

The first contradiction that made me feel confused about the reasons for Astarion’s reactions was how nice Tav is being to him (of course, if you chose good replies during their interactions) – a person who is mean to everyone else would be just as mean to Astarion. It didn’t make sense to me; a kind and understanding Tav would fit much better in the story.  

So what is going on there? Why does Astarion need a kind and gentle Tav who is cold and dismissive to the rest of the world?

Because he is terrified.  

When we first meet our pale elf, he has just escaped (as in been kidnapped) from 200 years of slavery, humiliation and torture where his wellbeing completely depended on Cazador’s whims and every mistake meant punishment. Of course he’s paranoid. Of course he’s always calculating risk. 

It’s not about Tav’s choices being good or evil, it’s about their possible consequences for Astarion. He doesn’t want Tav to be evil, he just wants to feel safe. That’s all.  

Let’s Look at That List Again

So let’s look at his approval/disapproval list again: 

refusing to help someone - approve! we don’t want to risk 

seeking power - yes, please! power means safety!

siding up with evil characters - they are strong, so why not use this to our benefit? 

deceiving your opponents - we didn’t even have to fight and got want we wanted? don’t see a problem  

supporting his desires - maybe this time, I won’t have to fight for what I want

being understanding and accepting towards him - finally someone doesn't treat me as a monster

sarcasm - humor is our everything, especially when there’s nothing else left 

On the other hand:

making pompous heroic statements - you are saying these cringe things with a straight face AND putting us in danger? hard nope! 

helping the weak - no one helped me, why should we bother 

disclosing truth about their situation - have you heard about caution?!  

being judgmental or unsupportive towards him - no thanks, had enough of that

naive/goodie-two-shoes responses - are we going to be fine with a leader like that?..  

What Kind of Tav Does He Need?

Astarion isn’t looking for an "evil" Tav - he’s looking for safety. Well, technically, he isn’t looking for anyone at all. But the kind of Tav he opens up to tends to be:

pragmatic, cautious and clever

emotionally intelligent

non-judgmental

strong enough to lead and survive

That’s why he feels comfortable with a Tav who might choose to be distant toward strangers but treats him with consistent care. In this context it’s not suspicious, it’s sensible. He doesn’t expect help from the world, and he respects those who understand that reality. In a hostile world, survival is more likely in a group, so he clings to the party and tries to secure his place using the only tools he knows: charm, wit and usefulness. And a part of that strategy, making sure the leader favors him and he won’t be cast aside, leads to his initial approaches for Tav. But we’ll get into that more in another post.

So if Tav shows kindness to him? That’s exactly what he’s aiming for. And it doesn’t even matter that much if they still go out of their way to help others - because if the care they show him feels real, that already shifts something deep inside. That already gives him a reason to start hoping that this might be real.

The Mask

So there’s the charm, the flirtation, the flair for drama. Some players may read that as shallow or even foolish. But it’s not. It’s a mask - one he’s worn so well and for so long that it feels real. It’s what kept him alive under Cazador for the last 200 years.

But if you keep going, if you give him time and space to feel safe, you start to see it slip. The closer Tav gets to him, the more glimpses we get of his real self - thoughtful and warm, wary and sharp, sometimes silly and awkward, and, beneath it all, deeply hurt. And if you stay with him through to the end, when he finally feels safe enough to stop performing, his whole demeanor changes. He’s calmer. More grounded. Still witty - but in a different way.

Still Astarion. Just more himself.

<next part>

<back to masterpost>

[utilitycaster]

The people who get on every D&D post, no matter how untagged

Guy presenting the most basic obvious DM-ing tip of all time as if it is a rare pearl of wisdom. Technically guy is gender neutral here but also 99% of the time this is a mansplainer

Person who is trying really hard to argue that Paizo is a scrappy little indie darling

Person who is trying to convince you that a genuine scrappy little indie darling game that is extremely niche and completely unlike D&D in every way is what you actually want to be playing in lieu of D&D instead of, perhaps, in addition to D&D

Person who, when you point out the above re: the games they are recommending, calls you a capitalist bootlicker for enjoying a popular game you already own and don't need to spend any more money on and indeed haven't spent money on in several years, and argues that you must prove you are True Supporter of Anticapitalism by buying their favorite game.

Person who has clearly had a really terrible specific D&D experience tied to an egregiously bad DM or other player assuming this is universally a problem

"All that matters is that everyone has fun! This statement is useful, actionable, relevant, and definitely not meaningless pablum said by people with nothing of worth to add but nonetheless insist on speaking."

Forty separate people who talk about their D&D game at length in the tags despite it being tangentially related at best

Of those forty, one will specifically talk about a game that sounds like a horrifying nightmare for everyone involved but will not indicate they FEEL that way about it

One person will talk about their D&D game very briefly in a way that is actually directly related to the content of the post and is beautifully illustrative

person who is deeply into Forgotten Realms lore and does not realize that like 95% of D&D players are NOT deeply into Forgotten Realms lore (this is shifting with BG3 but still) and are basically that xkcd meme

[lilithofpenandbook]

So they say Snape's the moody emo of the staffroom (or at least that's what I expect most people would think)

Snape? Severus Snape? Severus "you want me to kill you now or should I write a lil speech about you first" "bows to Umbridge ironically" " 'ghosts are transparent' " Snape?

No. No no no no no. He's not the emo!

He's the life of the staffroom!

Things were all normal before Snape showed up. Youngest professor ever. Was a death eater last week. Way too small for his height. Just lost the person he wanted to protect. Has a lot of bitterness and trauma he hides with sarcasm.

Of course at first some were wary, some kind. Soon he integrated. And he's the life of the staffroom.

His reaction to Dumbledore telling him to kill him was a sarcastic, sassy lil joke! You think the man that bowed to Umbridge after being deliberately unhelpful, the man who pops up behind people in corridors, the man who waited for the perfect moment to address Harry and Ron after the two crashed in in Harry's second year, you think he's gonna be the silent one?

He is absolutely not the silent one. He's probably the liveliest of the group. He's sassy, he's sneaky. He's the one who walks in completely silently, right up behind one of the others, and whispers "boo" in their ear. He's the one who pulls faces behind someone's back or mimics them. He's the one who keeps a deadpan expression while ruining the song someone else is listening to by singing along in a serious voice with his own "lyrics" that are incredibly rude or incredibly stupid, or who walks in bobbing his head like a demented turkey, legs all bent, deadpan face, while someone else is trying to listen to music. He's the one who offers to bring Coke to staff parties and when McGonagall says they are not having childish fizzy drinks that are chock full of sugar and all the way from a muggle store he clarifies that he meant Cocaine and cackles at her annoyed face. He's the one who deliberately can't find something just to make someone mad. He's the one who pretends to have no idea what someone is talking about just for a laugh. He's the one who butts into conversations with a sarcastic joke. He's the one who gives people damaged quills and giggles when they get mad at it for not working. He's the one who won't sit properly in a chair and instead leans all the way back just because it makes McGonagall's eye twitch. He's the one who makes unhelpful statements which are technically true but still unhelpful and clearly trolling.

He's the one who makes everyone so mad, he's such a nuisance.

He's the one who makes them laugh so hard, he's so ridiculous.

He's the life of the staffroom.

[paninicupcakke]

Forfeit 💉🇷🇺

(OC HeavyMedic oneshot)

(CW: suggestive / adultery)

Location: Upward

Both Red and Blu teams were currently waiting around for a payload match to officially start up. All of them were scattered around mingling with one another. Heavy used this opportunity to ask out the Blu doctor. The Russian peaked over behind one of the large desert boulders, catching a glimpse of the enemy Medic and Spy. Both men were busy quietly gossiping to each other.

Medic suddenly began to playfully tug on the Frenchman's necktie. Causing the Russian to enviously glare. He then loudly cleared his throat, causing both men to flinch and look behind them. He then took a few steps ahead, walking closer behind the boulder.

“May I have word with doktor?…Privately.” Heavy firmly asked. Spy and Medic both glanced at each other then back up at Heavy.

“Uhh…sure.” Medic hesitantly obliged. Spy slyly smirked. Grabbing both of the doctor’s shoulders, inching him closer towards Heavy.

“Go ahead, he’s all yours.” Spy teasingly replied before swiftly walking back towards the Blu’s respawn building. Medic adjusted his glasses nervously.

“What did you want to talk about?” Medic asked. Heavy took an anxious breath before asking the question he had rehearsed in his mind.

“I wanted to ask if you would be interested in dinner…after work.” Heavy shyly proposed.

Medic’s eyes widened in slight confusion and disbelief. First, this man spared him on the battlefield just the other day. Now, here he was. Asking him out on a random date. It was becoming clearly obvious that this Heavy was infatuated. Medic folded both arms, peaking his head out behind the boulder. Looking aways over at his Red counterpart. Red Medic was currently occupied, happily mingling with their Engineer just a couple miles out.

“I could have sworn you belonged to someone else.” Medic slyly asked. Heavy rolled his eyes, letting out a disgruntled sigh. That statement was technically true. The man just hated being reminded of his own disloyalty. Heavy shook his head no.

“Heavy does not belong to anyone.” Heavy sternly declared. Medic glanced the man up and down.

“Hmm. Well…not having to cook tonight does sound rather nice.” Medic said, leaning his back up against the boulder.

“Da. I plan to make simple home cooked meal for us.” Heavy proclaimed. Medic eagerly glanced him up and down once more. A home cooked meal certainly had more romantic intentions than your average diner date. The thought of his brutish enemy cooking him a meal felt oddly alluring. Medic suddenly brought a hand up to lightly graze against the Russian’s chest. Hooking two of his fingers into the neckline of the man’s shirt, tugging down on it to reveal even more of the man's chest hair.

“I’ll gladly provide the dessert. That is, if you let me stay the night.” Medic crudely stated. Heavy’s cheeks instantly flushed at the lewd suggestion.

“If that's what doktor wants...I-I see no problem.” Heavy bashfully obliged. Medic flirtatiously chuckled, grabbing at the Russian’s gold chain dangled around his neck. Pulling him down an inch closer, intentionally brushing their chests together.

“Ja. I’ll have dinner with you…on one condition.” Medic piped up. Heavy blinked.

“What condition?” Heavy asked.

“Forfeit.” Medic deviously proposed.

Heavy gulped, anxiously glancing over at a couple of his Red teammates that were off in the distance. Medic brushed his gloved finger underneath the man’s chin. Causing Heavy to slowly gaze back down at him.

“If you forfeit this match...” Medic began to say. Inching his lips close to the Russian’s ear.

“I’ll give you a small taste of what's to come.” Medic enticed further. Heavy’s mind went to complete mush. He stood a few silent moments, anxiously rubbing the back of his neck. All his rational thoughts were clouded by this doctor’s flirty proposition. According to the Russian, this opportunity was well worth betraying his crappy teammates.

“Da. I forfeit.” Heavy quickly answered.

'Guten junge.'

Medic pondered with a cocky grin. He then grabbed the man by his shirt collar. Quickly pulling him down into a messy but firm kiss. Heavy quickly took his hat off, shielding both their faces temporarily. Desperately melting into the deep kiss. Feeling the doctor’s tongue eagerly swirl and prod inside of his mouth. Medic eventually detached from the kiss. Leaving a small string of saliva connected at their lips. Heavy's hat slipped from his fingers and onto the ground. He was left with a flustered and dazed expression.

"I'll catch up with you later." Medic bashfully grinned, then suddenly waved goodbye. The doctor quickly sprinted off back towards Blu respawn to prepare for battle.

Heavy was stood there looking entranced and dumbfounded. He anxiously picked his hat back up from the ground, dusting it off over his knee. The Russian's mind immediately went to planning out various ways to sabotage his own teammates into losing this upcoming match.

[kikyoupdates]

Indebted ⭑˚🥀⭑ 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑑𝑙𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑛𝑒𝑟

yandere!ocs x f!reader

yandere, reverse harem, yandere reverse harem, original characters x fem!reader, slowburn, isekai

Following your mother’s recent passing, you are visited by a group of men claiming that your father abandoned all his debt and obligations, leaving you to take his place.

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The office reeked of cigarettes, printer ink, and burnt coffee. It was your first time you’d come in over the past few days, and needless to say, the atmosphere had not been missed.

With the exception of Yuki and Hikaru, the rest of the members still didn’t like you. Well, perhaps Masahi could be excluded from that group, but for the most part, your statement held true. It was already stifling enough being the only woman in a building full of criminal men, what with the way they eyed you down as if you were a fawn ready to be preyed on. You’d been expecting that much. But the constant loathing in their expressions was easily a hundred times worse. 

You were aware that the yakuza has some sort of code of honor that they adhered to, among many other strict traditions and customs, though they were also subject to modernization, like most things in society. So, you could only imagine how frustrated they must feel to have to share their space with some common civilian, not even part of the yakuza, who was a woman on top of everything else. It probably felt like a big slap to the face. Like you were making a mockery of their whole organization.

But it wasn’t your fucking choice. Surely they realized that? You didn’t want to be here. You wanted to be as far away from here as humanly possible.

None of this was your fault. You really wished they would stop glaring at you in a way that suggested otherwise.

“None of them can stand me,” you muttered out in a defeated tone. Yuki heard you and peered over from his desk, brows pulled together.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s pretty obvious. They aren’t exactly trying to hide how they feel about me. If Ryu hadn’t ordered them to keep their hands off me, I’m sure they would have killed me by now.”

“They’re not as bad as you might think,” he said, offering a sympathetic smile. “Most of them work hard to provide for their families, or have stuck around out of respect for the previous boss, like I mentioned before. It’s not as if all of them are here because they enjoy violence or crime in general. It’s more of a learned lifestyle for them, if you can call it that.”

You chewed on your bottom lip. Even now, they kept stealing glances your way and occasionally muttering something under their breaths. If you had to take a guess, it probably wasn’t anything pleasant.

“Call it whatever you want,” you sighed. “Still doesn’t change what they think of me. I’m sure they like you because you’re a proper member. Plus, you’re nice and friendly. As for me… it seems like I’ve got a bit of an unpopular streak.”

Yuki grinned, a bit too eagerly, in your opinion. “Do you really think that about me?”

“About you being nice? Yeah. You’re pleasant to be around. If I’d met you anywhere else, there’s no way I would’ve guessed that you were involved in something like this. No offense,” you quickly added.

“Everyone has their own circumstances. What one person chooses to do with their life might seem completely absurd to the next.”

“I guess so.”

You agreed with him, to some extent, but you personally didn’t think there was ever any excuse for committing crimes. Unless the person was being forced to do something under duress. Like you.

Would what I’m doing technically count as a crime? I’m basically a prisoner, but I’m still running their books and helping their business along. Am I… already a criminal?

You hung your head. Great. Yet another thing to feel endlessly shitty about.

“Hey,” Yuki said, motioning towards the door. “Do you want to go outside to get some fresh air for a bit?”

“Won’t I get in trouble?”

“It seems like Ryu’s in a meeting right now. He won’t notice if we slip out for a few minutes. Besides, everyone else takes breaks from time to time.”

“Well… okay,” you nodded.

Funneling your energy into work was usually the best way to distract yourself from all the problems you had, but questioning your current involvement in society had left you feeling understandably drained. You knew that being here wasn’t your choice, but you didn’t want to ever be responsible for something that would end up ruining another person’s life. At the very least, you hoped a situation like that could be avoided.

It was starting to warm up outside. You were well through spring, but it felt like the temperatures were only just now lifting substantially. Seeing some sunlight every now and then was nice. Even just right now, even if you would only end up being out here for a few minutes, the sensation of the warm rays falling across your cheeks was a sweet, momentary bliss that wouldn’t be forgotten soon. 

“It’s a nice day,” Yuki beamed. He reached into the inner pocket of his blazer, casting you an inquisitive look. “You don’t mind if I smoke, do you?”

“Go ahead. I’ll be fine.”

“Thanks,” he hummed, flicking his lighter on and positioning the flame at the end of his cigarette. He inhaled sharply, held it there for a moment, deep within his chest, then blew out a long plume of smoke that quickly dissolved in the air.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” you remarked.

“Only sometimes. It’s a bad habit I picked up recently,” he admitted with a chuckle. “You know, from most of the guys in the group.”

“It’s dangerous. I don’t want to be that person that always nags, but just be careful. You’re a good guy, you deserve to live a full life.”

His deep emerald eyes went completely still for a moment. After another drag of his cigarette, he exhaled softly.

“You really think I’m a good guy?”

“Well, relatively speaking,” you said, laughing a bit. “I mean, you are still part of the yakuza. So maybe your morals aren’t exactly perfect, but from what I’ve seen so far, I would say that you are a good guy, yes.”

The smile he gave you was kind, but somehow, different than before.

“I was just teasing,” he assured. “I know what you meant, and I appreciate you saying it. Considering everything you’ve been through, it means a lot that you’d be willing to still think highly of me.”

“Well, it’s not like you’re the one who brought me here.”

“Yeah. Guess not.”

There was a bit of an awkward silence that followed. For a while, he just went on silently smoking, but you felt a reason to fill in the gap somehow. Or maybe you just enjoyed talking to Yuki more than you realized.

“Uh, that friend of yours from high school,” you began.

Shit. I don’t know if I should even be bringing this up.

Thankfully, Yuki didn’t look offended. “Yes? What about him?”

“What was his name? I was just thinking you hadn’t really mentioned all that much about him. I-I mean, as long as you feel comfortable talking about it, of course.”

Yuki angled his gaze away from you. Ah. There it was again. That same expression from before.

“Sure, I can tell you more about him,” he mumbled. “His name was Sora. He kind of gave off the impression of being really distant and aloof, but he was surprisingly emotional. I guess it kind of goes without saying, but he got in a lot of fights. He was good at beating people up, and that’s why he helped me out when I was in a tough place.”

“He saved you, right?”

“Yeah. Those bullies never bothered me again after that whole incident. It was a really weird thing for him to do, considering we barely knew each other from class, but… he wanted to help, I guess. Some people are just like that.”

It really was interesting. According to what Yuki had said, Sora had also been a part of the yakuza at the time, and even well into the future. He was already involved in crime, but he still looked out for others when he wouldn't benefit from doing so. Even people like that had their own brand of kindness. Perhaps they had always been good to begin with, but life simply led them there. Everyone had their own circumstances, just like Yuki had said.

You wished you could say the same for your father. That he was a kind, loving person deep down, corrupted by alcohol and promises of wealth. But he’d never been like that, not for as long as you’d known him. Perhaps he was a better man when your mother had met him.

“I’m sure Sora is still watching over you, even now,” you said.

You’d been hoping to comfort him, to maybe even bring a muted smile to his face, but neither of those things happened.

Yuki stared up at the sky with a vacant expression.

“If he really is… I wonder what he would say to me.”

The office reeked of cigarettes, printer ink, and burnt coffee. It was your first time you’d come in over the past few days, and needless to say, the atmosphere had not been missed.

With the exception of Yuki and Hikaru, the rest of the members still didn’t like you. Well, perhaps Masahi could be excluded from that group, but for the most part, your statement held true. It was already stifling enough being the only woman in a building full of criminal men, what with the way they eyed you down as if you were a fawn ready to be preyed on. You’d been expecting that much. But the constant loathing in their expressions was easily a hundred times worse. 

You were aware that the yakuza has some sort of code of honor that they adhered to, among many other strict traditions and customs, though they were also subject to modernization, like most things in society. So, you could only imagine how frustrated they must feel to have to share their space with some common civilian, not even part of the yakuza, who was a woman on top of everything else. It probably felt like a big slap to the face. Like you were making a mockery of their whole organization.

But it wasn’t your fucking choice. Surely they realized that? You didn’t want to be here. You wanted to be as far away from here as humanly possible.

None of this was your fault. You really wished they would stop glaring at you in a way that suggested otherwise.

“None of them can stand me,” you muttered out in a defeated tone. Yuki heard you and peered over from his desk, brows pulled together.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s pretty obvious. They aren’t exactly trying to hide how they feel about me. If Ryu hadn’t ordered them to keep their hands off me, I’m sure they would have killed me by now.”

“They’re not as bad as you might think,” he said, offering a sympathetic smile. “Most of them work hard to provide for their families, or have stuck around out of respect for the previous boss, like I mentioned before. It’s not as if all of them are here because they enjoy violence or crime in general. It’s more of a learned lifestyle for them, if you can call it that.”

You chewed on your bottom lip. Even now, they kept stealing glances your way and occasionally muttering something under their breaths. If you had to take a guess, it probably wasn’t anything pleasant.

“Call it whatever you want,” you sighed. “Still doesn’t change what they think of me. I’m sure they like you because you’re a proper member. Plus, you’re nice and friendly. As for me… it seems like I’ve got a bit of an unpopular streak.”

Yuki grinned, a bit too eagerly, in your opinion. “Do you really think that about me?”

“About you being nice? Yeah. You’re pleasant to be around. If I’d met you anywhere else, there’s no way I would’ve guessed that you were involved in something like this. No offense,” you quickly added.

“Everyone has their own circumstances. What one person chooses to do with their life might seem completely absurd to the next.”

“I guess so.”

You agreed with him, to some extent, but you personally didn’t think there was ever any excuse for committing crimes. Unless the person was being forced to do something under duress. Like you.

Would what I’m doing technically count as a crime? I’m basically a prisoner, but I’m still running their books and helping their business along. Am I… already a criminal?

You hung your head. Great. Yet another thing to feel endlessly shitty about.

“Hey,” Yuki said, motioning towards the door. “Do you want to go outside to get some fresh air for a bit?”

“Won’t I get in trouble?”

“It seems like Ryu’s in a meeting right now. He won’t notice if we slip out for a few minutes. Besides, everyone else takes breaks from time to time.”

“Well… okay,” you nodded.

Funneling your energy into work was usually the best way to distract yourself from all the problems you had, but questioning your current involvement in society had left you feeling understandably drained. You knew that being here wasn’t your choice, but you didn’t want to ever be responsible for something that would end up ruining another person’s life. At the very least, you hoped a situation like that could be avoided.

It was starting to warm up outside. You were well through spring, but it felt like the temperatures were only just now lifting substantially. Seeing some sunlight every now and then was nice. Even just right now, even if you would only end up being out here for a few minutes, the sensation of the warm rays falling across your cheeks was a sweet, momentary bliss that wouldn’t be forgotten soon. 

“It’s a nice day,” Yuki beamed. He reached into the inner pocket of his blazer, casting you an inquisitive look. “You don’t mind if I smoke, do you?”

“Go ahead. I’ll be fine.”

“Thanks,” he hummed, flicking his lighter on and positioning the flame at the end of his cigarette. He inhaled sharply, held it there for a moment, deep within his chest, then blew out a long plume of smoke that quickly dissolved in the air.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” you remarked.

“Only sometimes. It’s a bad habit I picked up recently,” he admitted with a chuckle. “You know, from most of the guys in the group.”

“It’s dangerous. I don’t want to be that person that always nags, but just be careful. You’re a good guy, you deserve to live a full life.”

His deep emerald eyes went completely still for a moment. After another drag of his cigarette, he exhaled softly.

“You really think I’m a good guy?”

“Well, relatively speaking,” you said, laughing a bit. “I mean, you are still part of the yakuza. So maybe your morals aren’t exactly perfect, but from what I’ve seen so far, I would say that you are a good guy, yes.”

The smile he gave you was kind, but somehow, different than before.

“I was just teasing,” he assured. “I know what you meant, and I appreciate you saying it. Considering everything you’ve been through, it means a lot that you’d be willing to still think highly of me.”

“Well, it’s not like you’re the one who brought me here.”

“Yeah. Guess not.”

There was a bit of an awkward silence that followed. For a while, he just went on silently smoking, but you felt a reason to fill in the gap somehow. Or maybe you just enjoyed talking to Yuki more than you realized.

“Uh, that friend of yours from high school,” you began.

Shit. I don’t know if I should even be bringing this up.

Thankfully, Yuki didn’t look offended. “Yes? What about him?”

“What was his name? I was just thinking you hadn’t really mentioned all that much about him. I-I mean, as long as you feel comfortable talking about it, of course.”

Yuki angled his gaze away from you. Ah. There it was again. That same expression from before.

“Sure, I can tell you more about him,” he mumbled. “His name was Sora. He kind of gave off the impression of being really distant and aloof, but he was surprisingly emotional. I guess it kind of goes without saying, but he got in a lot of fights. He was good at beating people up, and that’s why he helped me out when I was in a tough place.”

“He saved you, right?”

“Yeah. Those bullies never bothered me again after that whole incident. It was a really weird thing for him to do, considering we barely knew each other from class, but… he wanted to help, I guess. Some people are just like that.”

It really was interesting. According to what Yuki had said, Sora had also been a part of the yakuza at the time, and even well into the future. He was already involved in crime, but he still looked out for others when he wouldn't benefit from doing so. Even people like that had their own brand of kindness. Perhaps they had always been good to begin with, but life simply led them there. Everyone had their own circumstances, just like Yuki had said.

You wished you could say the same for your father. That he was a kind, loving person deep down, corrupted by alcohol and promises of wealth. But he’d never been like that, not for as long as you’d known him. Perhaps he was a better man when your mother had met him.

“I’m sure Sora is still watching over you, even now,” you said.

You’d been hoping to comfort him, to maybe even bring a muted smile to his face, but neither of those things happened.

Yuki stared up at the sky with a vacant expression.

“If he really is… I wonder what he would say to me.”

For the most part, you could say that the night had gone well.

Other than the offhand comment Ryu had made earlier, he was being much less degrading than usual. You still weren’t exactly sure what his angle was, but it was better than being yelled at or threatened, in any case. The food had been good, the atmosphere had gradually grown less stifling, and perhaps it was the alcohol in your system, but your mood was fairly high.

“Oops,” you giggled, stumbling a bit in your heels. You wished you hadn’t worn them, but Ryu had been adamant that you dress your best tonight. Still. Considering how tipsy you were right now, it was making it a bit of a pain to walk straight.

Ryu chucked softly. “You look like you’re struggling. Here,” he said, offering you his arm. “Hold on to me so that you don’t trip.”

Normally you would have politely refused and insisted you were fine on your own, but the alcohol was impairing your judgment a bit. You carefully interlinked your arm with his, a bit taken aback by just how firm his muscles felt, then took a moment to steady yourself.

You looked up at him with dazed, glassy eyes. “Thank you, Ryu. This is much better.”

“Ah,” he breathed out. He pursed his lips, gently smoothing down your hair. “You have a beautiful smile. Especially when you smile without holding anything back, like right now. I would like to see it more often.”

Were you smiling? If so, it was probably because of the alcohol. No, definitely because of the alcohol.

“Okay,” you nodded. “I’m glad you think I’m beautiful.”

“Pfft,” Ryu chortled. “I think you might be a bit drunk. Don’t worry, we’ll be home soon and you can get some sleep.”

“Okay. Thank you, Ryu.”

“No need to thank me for that.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

He outright laughed this time, and your head was feeling more fuzzy by the second. He was right, you’d had too much to drink. You couldn’t wait to get into bed.

Ryu made sure to help you along up until you got into the car. The second your head fell against the back of the seat, you closed your eyes and began slipping into a state of unconsciousness.

At the same time, several men parked close nearby in their own vehicle were, without your knowledge, spying in on the two of you. The man in the driver’s seat glanced over towards his side, fingers curled around the steering wheel.

“That’s definitely him, boss. What do we do now?”

Tatsumi leaned forward and chuckled darkly. “Nothing for now. But… it looks as though Ryu is rather close to that young lady. I wonder how he’d react if she were to go missing.”

More chapters are available on Quotev or Wattpad!

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💞 main masterlist ♡ character appearances

[oacest]

oacest scholars, do you have any gcest fic recs for a beginner?

we decided to answer this in brief and limit ourselves to three recs each or, as evidenced by past failures to answer this same simple and straightforward request from other people, we'd spend forever quibbling about our choices and never actually post the dang thing. here, in no particular order, are some good jumping off points:

trill's recs:

1) @snickfic's baby, you're gonna be the one that saves me, aka my fave fic (technically series, it's got two parts) in this entire fandom. in which liam gets knocked up in the mid 90s by someone who's not noel, to noel's intense anguished jealous heartbreak mild dismay. even if you're not really into mpreg this one is well worth it. the characterization is god tier. bal and i insisted that jackie, who staunchly doesn't like mpreg, read it and even she was converted.

2) i could be your lover, you could be all mine, by hapaxlegomena. a collection of unconnected porn ficlets. lots of extremely tasty stuff in here, i reread random bits of it regularly.

3) the D'YA WANT SOME? series by one of our own triumvirate, bal! im sure she's squirming in horror that im including it but it is by far the best, most well-written, most well-characterized, thoughtful, hilarious, hot, fascinating work in this whole fandom imo, and is a perfect intro to the whole concept of pre/early days oasis and what noel+liam might have been getting up to behind the scenes (as it were) before they were famous.

bal's recs:

1) Filmstar, an orphaned fic on Ao3. This one gets recced plenty but for good reason. It's very funny in a deadpan way and the Liam in it is such a perfect little weirdo. It's a great fic to start with, readable even if you don't know all the lore and whatnot.

2) outta sight and outta mind by lustmord. this author writes Trauma and specifically the brothers' trauma in a way I find endlessly compelling. (for all that Everyone Knows about their shitbag dad, it is still such an unspoken and often unpredictable presence in the room; you can't really get into them without tangoing with it in some fashion)

3) Let Me Be The One, by @savageandwise. absolutely fantastic Liam voice, this author just GETS him. I often think about this quote as a literal thesis statement for Noel's whole insane deal:

You think he's perfectly willing to allude to it in public if he's the one pulling the strings. Cause he thinks he's cleverer than the rest of the world. He thinks it's edgy and rock and roll when he does it. It's his brand of anarchy. And when you do it you're just stupid and embarrassing and determined to destroy everything.

jackie's recs:

1) Trying To Find A World That's Been and Gone by @storyshark2005. my colleagues graciously let me be the one to put it on my list because this is Thee fic. as we were all getting into Oasis initially, this fic was our constant companion and teacher, holding our hand as the fixation unraveled within us. it's a present-day fic that beautifully and masterfully unpacks the entirety of their relationship from the glory days to the estrangement and it is so jam-packed with research and details, you can just assume that everything that's being referenced is based on something that actually happened. in my opinion, this is where any new fan should start.

2) If I Had a Gun by @savageandwise. it's probably cheating to put another fic by this author when bal's already done it, but... I don't care lmao. in many ways we're splitting hairs because all this author's fics are worth your time. but I do hold a special place for this one because it so wonderfully captures the tenuousness of their dynamic at any given moment. how they could go from fighting to flirting to hating each other to needing each other in rapid succession. it feels so true.

3) Here's Looking At You, Kid by RedheadAmongWolves. don't be thrown off by the fact that this is one chapter away from completion, it's still totally worth it. the characterizations are great, the vibes draw you in, the UST is delicious. honestly, this is really meant to function as an overall author rec. there were several here I could've chosen. [ETA: this fic is now complete!]

[the-loststone]

HotD Team Green Defense

The amount of people who fail to grasp Team Green's perspective is honestly staggering to me. So many people are Team Black, maybe out of some (misplaced) belief that they are being feminists and advocating for female power, or something like that, and choose to ignore the very legitimate worries and motivations of Team Green. Admittedly, the show has gone out of it's way to villainize Team Green as much as possible, while victimizing Team Black, and deviating from the source material for this narrative. (I would tell them to be suspicious when showrunners do that because they did the same thing to Daenerys in GoT and everyone was surprised when she turned around and burned a city down in a rushed ending because the show never properly developed her arc.) Nevertheless, despite their efforts to make Team Green the less appealing side, if I had to compare motivations, Team Black is the more villainous.

So many people dismiss the fact that for Rhaenyra to secure her throne, she would have to kill her siblings. They write it off as paranoia of Alicent, or ambitions of her and Otto, that they are making excuses for Aegon to be made king instead of Rhaenyra. But that's just not true. These are very real likelihoods. Even if Aegon did not seek the throne, or he and his brothers decided to gracefully allow the succession to pass to Rhaenyra, it would never be peaceful. Just look at Rhaenys and how Corlys is still bitter and Viserys has been worried that they may come after him since she has a right to the throne. That's one of the main benefits in having Rhaenyra marry Ser Laenor was to join their claims. Or look at how worried everyone was of Daemon, and how he may seize power after Viserys. The only thing keeping him alive was his brother's love for him, the fact that their house was dwindling, and no one was fighting on his behalf over Viserys. So if there is every another claimant, it would be a great worry that the side in power may be kicked off by another claimant. And Aegon and his brothers are men, and just by virtue of having dicks, they have a better claim to the throne. All laws, precedent, and cultures in Westeros have male heirs before female heirs. The king's word does not change that. And note that the King only made Rhaenyra his heir over his brother. So technically, the King said "all my children first, including my daughter, then my brother." (Something already controversial because if it was accepted before, Rhaenys would be Queen and he would be nothing). But he never again made a statement for the lords after his sons births. He never reinforced Rhaenyra's succession as his heir outside the privacy of their own quarters. Alicent even said, let the lords come and decide, and make vows, and he and Rhaenyra reject it because they worried the Lords would choose Aegon.

Rhaenyra knows, to inherit without rebellions every few years from lords who are unhappy with her and want to supplant her with her brothers, she would have to kill her brothers and make sure there are no people who can contest her right to inherit.

And this is just Rhaenyra's succession. Now add in the fact that she's claiming illegitimate children as her heirs. Very obvious illegitimate children. Even if Rhaenyra managed to successfully inherit with no push back from anyone, and no one wanted to supplant her with her brothers so she didn't have to kill them then... well guess what, she'll have to kill them to secure her son's ascension to the throne. (And if she won't then Daemon certainly would). And then, even if she does kill all the Greens, then there's the issue of her legitimate children vs. her illegitimate children. Even if the kids grew up to love each other, someone may say, well the first three shouldn't inherit, let's put the legitimate ones on the throne. And then you have a completely different succession crisis.

Viserys' actions may seem to the viewers as promoting girl power and feminism, but that's not what's happening. He's being an abusive, neglectful shit. He's deliberately putting the rest of his children's lives in jeopardy, and even the Strong grandchildren he claims to love, because by keeping them in the succession despite their obvious illegitimacy invites people to contest that. And that's not to say he couldn't have taken steps to remedy this. He could have changed the rules so that succession passes to the eldest child, regardless of gender. But he didn't. He could have acknowledged that his grandchildren were illegitimate and forgiven it and legitimized them as Targaryens, but he didn't (conveniently usurping Valeryons - and people may argue that Baela/ Rhaena can still rule being married to Jace/Luke, but that's not the same as being able to rule in your own right, otherwise, why not take the offer for Rhaenyra to marry Aegon).

But since he didn't do any of these things, the only way to stop the Dance would have been for him to make Aegon his successor. Something that everyone would have been relieved by because it would have prevented war. But he didn't. And so, Alicent has to fight to keep her kids alive. The Greens have to push their claim to survive. Whereas, had Rhaenyra graciously backed off her claim, saying that yes, she had 3 brothers, and while they were younger, the laws and precedent are in their corner to inherit, then she would have lived. People wouldn't have fought for her claim if she hadn't pushed it. Nor would they fight for an illegitimate heir.

But some may say... Well Rhaenyra has more supporters. She does. She has the Velaryons and countless other houses backing her. So do the Greens. (the Greens have the wealthiest houses). But once it becomes a fight to throne, it's less about who has the right, and more about who can offer you the most. Notice the Starks and the Baratheons agree to fight because they'll get a wedding out of it (and the Starks because they'll have somewhere to send people during their current famine). The Vale because of the blood ties. The Lannisters because of past insults. Once it's decided to be a fight, it's never about who actually has a right to the throne, it becomes about who can give you the most so you can help them win it.

And this is what it really comes down to. Rhaenyra had a choice. She can back off, and her family can survive. Her brothers can live. Her sons will live. Or she can inherit, and her brothers can die. And she is perfectly willing for her brothers to die. And some may say that that's a very jaded view to take on Rhaenyra and she would never kill her family if she could help it... but it would be out of her hands. It would be necessary to protect her son's right to inherit and to keep away possible rebellions.

And you know, fine, that's okay. She wants to fight for the throne, more power to her. She can go after the throne and kill her brothers. But I don't think it's right that people say that she's the aggrieved party. She's not. She's the aggressor.

And that is why I'm team Green. Because Alicent is right. Just by living and breathing, Aegon and his brothers are threats to Rhaenyra. And this would have happened no matter who Viserys married. Sure people can be upset that Alicent married her bffs dad (something that only happens in the show because in the books, Alicent is 10 years older than Rhaenyra and they weren't close), but that doesn't mean her children should die because Rhaenyra is the preferred child. That doesn't mean the realm should be thrown into war because Alicent 'seduced' a widow. (And I say that with heavy sarcasm because Viserys is a grown ass man.)

And then there's the argument of who's the better house because of blood purity. It's a ridiculous argument and I'm honestly annoyed by people who are Targaryen purists and believe in the whole, dragon supremacy. Hightower is badass house. A lot of people don't realize that they've been around since The Wall and Winterfell were built (Bran the Builder built Hightower, commissioned by the Lord / King of Hightower). They've been around since before Targaryen's rode dragons. So spare me the ridiculous arguments of who's got the most Targaryen blood. If anything, Team Green is more Westerosi, you know, the country they are trying to rule.

In the end, the show will do what it does best, and disappoint you. Either they'll continue pushing this narrative of girl-boss queen and fail to show the complexity of the political situation that result from Rhaenyra's decisions. Or they might stick to the book and have a complex issue actually displayed and show both Aegon and Rhaenyra's descent into madness.

There are more issues one could delve into. Like the fact that Rhaenyra married Daemon. That either Corlys Velaryon has so much unhinged ambition that he's ignored deaths in his house to side with those who have literally murdered his family (cough cough Vaemond and Laenor) (and the whole Laenor excuse in the show makes no sense because no way in hell are Rhaenyra and Daemon risking that he's ever found and that their kids are declared bastards; it is much cleaner for them to do it like they did in the books and kill him) or there will be serious repercussions from the deaths of Velaryons and continued discussion of the succession of Driftmark/High Tide.

But that's the main summary of my thoughts. 👍

If you made it to the end of my rant. Thank you.

[aveloka-draws]

I would like to preface this with an apology for the Asgardian-sized wall of text I want to throw at you. If you've ever seen the movie Hot Fuzz, I just had a massive brain wave in regards to that recent interaction you made between the Lamb and Theon. So here we go, lots to unpack.

What I find very curious about that little interaction was how unintentionally massive its impact was. It was just a short exchange between the two but the ramifications could be severe. Whether the Lamb meant to or not, they might have made the situation for Theon significantly worse or perhaps more accurately, far more unstable and given their own current nature, that is not too surprising. Theon was suspicious that Leshy is hiding something and the Lamb says 'Do you want me to tell you what it is?'. The Lamb just confirmed that Leshy is hiding something. Now in all fairness the Lamb could be lying from Theon's perspective. Getting some kicks out of their followers and seeing the madness unfold is becoming of them. However that likelihood is vastly nill. The Lamb seems to like Theon for starters and thus would not be inclined to lie in the first place. Plus regardless of the Lamb's intents, they are the Leader. So by default, Theon is inclined to believe their word.

Thus with that statement, the situation is already far worse. Now Theon knows Leshy is in fact hiding something, and his brain can start to work the pieces out. He is not a stupid cat by any means, and he can already tell that the area of soreness relies around Darkwood. That is where Leshy seems to clam up. He already suspects they were a disciple and given Theon's nightmares, this narrows his suspicions down. If Theon wished to really investigate this down to its roots, he could go behind the scenes to attempt to acquire a tiny dot of ichor. He wouldn't need much, all he'd need is a single drop to taste. Hopefully in a dose that would not burn his insides like those of the uninitiated. Whether that meant striking a deal with a disciple or through the Lamb, who knows how. But if he tasted it he could compare it against the taste of Leshy's 'odd' blood and tell how similar they tasted. If the taste was close, Theon would have his answer and from there the harrowing realities only close in with two distinct scenarios. Bad case, Leshy was in fact a disciple of the God of Chaos. Worst case, he was that God. Thing is, if Theon was really paying attention he'd have his answer without Leshy saying anything at all.

Whether Leshy realizes it or not, he completely revealed his identity by waiting to tell Theon. Leshy waited this long to tell Theon anything, by this point they have grown extremely close. Had Leshy told Theon who he was, shortly after they met or starting getting close, the impact would be far less significant. Theon would have been shocked, gone through his reactions, and likely distanced himself. However, now they're both madly in love. By waiting this long Leshy has single-handedly sown as much Chaos into Theon's life as he possibly could, thus betraying his efforts and revealing his true nature. Theon has now an impossibly difficult situation to contend with. He has been in love with the very god that he was to be sacrificed for. In all technical details there really is no reason why Theon cannot continue to love him. Leshy would never hurt Theon intentionally nor do something truly egregious against him. However the very fact that Leshy has put Theon in the situation where he has to relive his nightmares everyday is only made worse by the inescapable chaos that surrounds Leshy. Whenever Theon gazes upon him, he knows chaos will follow. Suddenly all of his actions will enter a new light. The five-finger fillet, the midnight hi-jinks, other follows becoming mischievous. It turns from, "Leshy is just a bit out there." to, "He is Chaos incarnate." Theon, should he continue by Leshy's side, would have to live with that everyday for the rest of his life. No matter how much Leshy attempts to change himself it's impossible to escape the chaos, it's akin to commanding a Sunflower to cease being a plant. Chaos is in Leshy's nature. Asking him to subdue the chaos would mean he ceases to be Leshy. It's the classic paradox of the very thing that drew Theon in in the first place is now the most painful reality.

Whether the divorce truly happens or not, as our expectations could be subverted, Theon will never be the same afterward. He will have to find some way to make peace with the nightmares one way or another, and accept that chaos will follow him no matter how good a life he lives. It is quite fascinating too. Leshy is now responsible for damning a second loved one to Hell.

I thank you again for your amazing work and taking the time to read this.

Dont apologize i loved this i agree thank you for the asgardian sized wall of text hshsh

[watarfallar]

Incorrect quotes because they're funny

Scar: You have an impressive pain tolerance. Grian: Thanks, it's the trauma.

Scar: Where are you going? Grian: To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide on the way.

Grian: Scar, no. Scar: Scar, yes.

Scar: Do I least have a chance to explain myself? Grian: This is America, so nope! Scar: This isn't America, this is OHIO!

Scar: How do ethical philosophers feel about murder? Grian: Well, it’s frowned upon. Scar: Okay, but what if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier? Scar: That’s okay, right?

Scar: Grian, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I’d like to withdraw that statement- Grian: Aww, thanks- Scar: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.

Grian: Remain CALM! slaps Scar multiple times

Scar: My head hurts. Grian: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

Grian, in the hospital: Will you visit me when I get out? Scar: Lol nah, I hate graveyards.

Grian: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles? Scar: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.

Grian: Can I have your number? Scar, visible texting: I don't have a phone.

Scar: I wanna sleep for 40 hours. Grian: You know that's called a coma, right? Scar: Scar: That sounds so refreshing, I could totally go for a light coma right now.

Grian: You are, of course, wondering why it is I have brought you here tonight. Scar: Actually, Grian, after all these years, I just sort of go with it.

Grian: Try not to roll your eyes at me. Scar: I don't have pupils.

Grian: Hey. Scar: pissed off You… complete …ASS, Grian! You show up here after WEEKS, and you say “hey”?!

Scar: I love hearing Grian shouting at someone else. It makes such a nice change.

Scar: Any idiot would know that. Grian: I knew that! Scar: See?

Grian: I know this isn’t going to end well and I don’t care. So don’t you try and stop me, Scar! Scar: I wasn’t stopping you. I was asking if you had a spare camera so I can record this.

Grian, looking at their reflection: Now, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be? Scar: Well, that's you. Grian: Me?! Is that what I look like? Scar: You don't know? Grian: Busy day.

Scar: hiding something in their coat I think we should adopt another kid! Grian: No. Scar: Why not? Grian: Because when you say “kid”, you mean “cat”, and we already have fifteen of those. Scar: unzips coat Sixteen.

Grian: Breaking News, Scar has disappointed us.

Grian: You are an absolute fucking dork. Scar, singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork! Grian: sighs Yeah, you're my dork.

Scar: You know how some people consider “may you have an interesting life” to be a curse? Grian: Yes…? Scar: Fuck those people. Wanna have an adventure?

Scar: I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows. Grian: I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts.

Scar: Okay, two person huddle. Grian: You can't huddle with two people. This is just a hug.

Grian: I couldn't do this without you, Scar. Scar: Sure you could. Not as stylishly, of course.

Grian: CHARACTER. FLAWS. ARE. FUCKING. IMPORTANT. Scar: Me when someone tells me to stop eating mayo packets like they’re gogurt tubes.

Grian: What's gone wrong, Scar? Scar: Hey! That’s one hell of a thing to say to a person. Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis. Grian: That’s technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling? Scar: Well… There’s a crisis.

Grian: I know one person who finds me funny! Scar: Okay, who?… and you can't say yourself! Grian: Okay then I'm out.

Grian: Did you ever have like a pet run away and find it or anything? Scar: I had a lizard that I burnt.