#thank you for stopping by to tell me i really appreciate it 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓😭

[rox-of-iu]

Hey, just felt called to let you know that your MQF from SVSSS doodles give me such life and inspired how I write MQF in my fics. I love how you depict him and your art style is so refreshing and cute!

Just thought you should know. Hope you have a good day!

HELLO HI THANK YOU SO MUCH??? 😭😭😭💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 GLAD TO BE OF SERVICE HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY OR NIGHT

[user13456789]

📸instagram posts!

♥️babydaddy!rafe & babymomma!reader instagram posts

warning: none!

yourusername

liked by rafe.cameron, bellahadid, sarahcameron, and 11,108 more…

yourusername: appreciation post for my babydaddy💓 i’m so happy to have you in my life. luna is so lucky to have you as her daddy. no one does it better than you. i love you more than anything. thank you for saving me and changed me to the better. couldn’t done it without u. i love you a little bit more than a lot💓 @rafecameron 💓💓

view 9,187 comments …

sarahcameron: such a good dad! being a brother? uhhhh next question!!

⤷yourusername: he’s trying 😃

kiaracarrera: y/n you’re so cute! litterly no one deserves you.

⤷yourusername: kie stopp ilyy 🥹

bellahadid: so goals!!

*liked by creator*

kyliejenner: luna is litterly the cutest little thing i’ve ever seen.

⤷yourusername: she isss💓💓

rafe.cameron: baby don’t make me cry. i love you so much

*liked by creator*

⤷topperthornton: yoo i would never imagine rafe saying this lmaoo

user: yep just tell me to jump.

user: why is every photo of his hands? kink?😭

⤷rafe.cameron: none of ur business

⤷user: okay buddy, that’s all i needed to know😭

….

rafe.cameron

liked by yourusername, sarahcameron, kelceee, and 10,109 more…

rafe.cameron: i love you baby. thank you for birthing the cutest and sweetest girl ever. thank you for making me her daddy. and thank you for changing me to a better man. a life without you isn’t a life at all. i love you more than words could ever describe. @yourusername ❤️ aaaand you’re making me really hard too 😃

view 8,165 comments…

kelceee: it’s embarrassing how whipped u are

⤷rafe.cameron: whipped? i’m litterly a dad. it’s called love dumbass. you don’t know anything about that tho do you

⤷user: lmaooo he clocked his tea

sarahcameron: euw did u have to write that last sentence?🤢

⤷rafe.cameron: i’m a grown man i can do whatever i want

yourusername: stop baby🥹 i love you so much words can’t describe. luna is more than lucky to have you. thank you.❤️ and to that last sentence, we litterly have a kid together, delete that sentence.

⤷rafe.cameron: yes ma’am.

⤷user: LMAOOOO HES WHIPPEDDD

kiaracarrera: so cute 🥹

wheeziecameron: she’s so prettyy in that pic😍

*liked by creator*

[maypiles]

OMG 😱

Found your Jackson Wang reading through hashtags *chefs kiss* 👌 Could u please do a similar reading for NCT Taeyong? His love life? Thank you so much 🙏💓

Ohhhh my god, y’all are really out here summoning me to dive into the personal lives of K-pop royalty AGAIN???" 😭💕 First of all, anon, THANK YOU for finding my Jackson Wang reading through the hashtags and for the chef’s kiss appreciation. That was a whole spiritual novella, and now you’re asking for Taeyong’s love life? ICONIC TASTE. 👌(No cap idk who is that Taeyang yet but I feel it in my bones. ICONIC NONETHELESS) You’re giving me homework, and I love it. Let me light my candles, shuffle my cards, and prepare for whatever chaos spirit decides to drop on me. But like… warning: if this turns into another “secret marriage, betrayal, crying on balconies in Thailand” situation, I’m gonna need a moment to recover. 😩🔥 Stay tuned, babe. Spirit and I are about to serve up some piping hot tea. Let’s see what the cards have to say about your boy Taeyong. 👀✨

🌊🌻TAEYONG'S LOVE LIFE 2025💛☀️

ALRIGHT, BUCKLE UP, PEOPLE, BECAUSE THIS IS ABOUT TO BE A WILD RIDE. We’re diving into NCT Taeyong’s love life for 2025, and let me tell you, his energy? CHAOTICALLY HILARIOUS. This man is out here single as hell ASF but giving "I’m trying, okay?!" vibes, and SPIRIT IS NOT LETTING HIM REST.

🌅🌅🌅🌅

SHUFFLING ENERGY:

First off, as soon as I shuffled the cards, I literally snorted. Spirit straight-up said, "IF HE EVEN HAS A LOVE LIFE." 💀💀 I mean, poor Taeyong is out here scheming like the world’s most timid mastermind, terrified of rejection and past heartbreaks, but also low-key ready to be someone’s romantic knight in shining armor. LIKE SIR, PICK A STRUGGLE. I saw the Five of Cups flash and immediately saw Taeyang standing in front of a seraphim angel (hmm so random.. DON'T JUDGE) and heard, “Shall not fret!” Spirit’s out here acting like his life coach, pushing him to grow a pair (Courage! Boldness! Step up, King!), but he’s out here overthinking.

💛💛💛💛

THIS MAN IS SUCH A ROMANTIC. He’s probably listening to love songs, getting all in his feelings, and I wouldn’t be shocked if Flaming Hot Cheetos by Clairo is on repeat. The lyrics scream "crush phase," and honestly, that’s the vibe. He’s sitting there like, “What if I just… upgraded my love life?” (LMFAO why do I keep thinking about video games? Is he a gamer or into gaming by any chance?) but also dying at the thought of making the first move. Spirit’s like, “TAKE THE CHANCE, BABE. STOP HIDING.”

☀️☀️☀️☀️

CARDS PULLED:

Let’s get to it: World, Ten of Pentacles reversed, Hermit (no kidding), Ace of Wands, Moon reversed, Ten of Swords (ouch), Two of Cups (ooooh), Nine of Wands (the struggle), Queen of Wands reversed (tea?), Chariot reversed (you ain’t going nowhere, King), Six of Cups (nostalgia, much?), Nine of Cups reversed (boohoo vibes), Seven of Swords reversed (spill the truth), Page of Cups (puppy love), Devil (spicy), Ace of Cups (OMG new beginnings?!), Knight of Cups (man’s about to risk it all), Knight of Wands (he’s TRYING, okay?!), and Judgment (this card wouldn’t leave my mind!).

BOTTOM: Justice (karma’s working overtime).

SPLITS: Empress (divine feminine vibes), Emperor (okay, soulmate energy?!), and Six of Pentacles (balance it out, babe).

🌊🌊🌊🌊

THE TEA™:

First of all, this man is hilariously, miserably single right now. He’s in hermit mode, probably journaling and making Pinterest boards about “the love life I deserve.” BUT THEN. THEN. Something sparks in 2025 (Ace of Wands), and it’s like he’s ready to shoot his shot. And guess what? It’s not some random fling—it’s real. Like soulmate potential (Two of Cups). BUT he’s terrified of rejection, of messing up things because that's literally what I heard spirit saying (Five of Cups, Nine of Wands), so he’s overthinking it to death. Taeyong, babe, TAKE A BREATH.

Spirit showed me this blond-haired masculine (which turned out to look 90% like him, BTW. Yes, ik ik I'm that gifted) on some small deserted island during what looks like a reality show??? Imagine gravel, sand, bright weather, and a random banner as tho some sort of a reality show (are we on "Two Days, One Night" vibes or something?). He’s laughing awkwardly, super embarrassed, because the manager said something hilarious. It’s playful, lighthearted, and low-key adorable.

✨✨✨✨

HIS ENERGY:

Y’all, Taeyong’s energy is SO FUNNY and infectiously playful. Like, if this guy is actually this goofy and fun, then this reading SCREAMS accuracy. He’s not just out here “finding love”; he’s doing it with childlike wonder. Spirit’s like, “It’s safe for you to love! Open up, babe!” but also karmic lessons everywhere. Whatever he’s stepping into romantically? It’s about learning, healing, and GROWTH.

🌟🌟🌟🌟

ORACLE CARDS:

This Could Be the One: Spirit is hinting that he’s already met someone who’s The Real Deal™.

Honeymoon: Are they going to meet during a holiday?! THAT ISLAND Y'ALL??! Or is there a dreamy vacation vibe coming?

Playfulness: Like I said, his energy is hilarious and adorable—he’s learning to embrace this lighthearted side because Spirit is URGING him to.

New Love: Spirit says YES to something fresh.

Romantic Feelings: Baby boy’s catching the feels, and it’s so CUTE.

Karmic Lessons, Forgiving, and Learning: Look, this is about healing from his past and stepping into something REAL.

🐠🐬🐠🐬

WHY THIS IS SO SWEET:

Spirit is gently bullying him to open his heart. He’s terrified of past mistakes (Five of Cups, Nine Swords), but this is his karmic lesson: to take a risk. And OMG, the energy of first-stage love. You know that fuzzy, giggly feeling when it’s all butterflies and stolen glances? YEAH, THAT. He’s dipping his toes into romance but probably panicking because its genuineness is so unfamiliar.

🐚🐚🐚🐚

WILD SYNCHRONICITY:

Also, can we talk about how Spirit literally showed me this blond dude in a white hoodie on an island, and it turned out to look exactly like him?! HELLO??? This isn’t even shocking anymore—I once sketched Fyodor Dostoevsky before knowing what he looked like BUT TURNED OUT I ACTUALLY SKETCHED HIM WITH A LETHAL ACCURACY (that was years before I got into spirituality and discovered my gifts), so yeah, my channeling skills are THAT girl. But still, this was wild.

🍨🍨🍨🍨

FINAL NOTES:

Taeyong’s energy is pure chaos but in the best way.

He’s ready to take a leap into love but needs to get over his fears first.

The connection feels karmic and healing, but also sweet and lighthearted.

This reading feels hilariously accurate because of how playful and funny his vibe is. HE'S SUCH A SUNSHINE!

Spirit’s like, “Take a chance, babe—it’s safe for you to love.”

So yeah, 2025 is giving “funny romance with soulmate vibes.” We’re rooting for you, Taeyong! GO GET THAT LOVE! 💖💖

(btw why is the reading so bright I'm not built for this palette but Taeyang's energy is taking over HELP-

OMG ANON LISTEN!!! 😭😭😭 So here’s the tea: I am definitely gonna check this NCT Taeyong out because HIS ENERGY??? UNHINGEDLY HILARIOUS AND HEARTWARMING. Is he an enfp?? Like, Spirit literally hit me with the giggle stick while channeling his love life, and I’m sitting here wondering HOW IS THIS MAN SO ENDLESSLY CHAOTIC AND ENDEARING AT THE SAME TIME???

I left K-pop behind like a distant relic of my youth, years ago, completely dusted and done. BUT THIS ENERGY??? I’m terrified I’m gonna Stan him soon. My retirement from the K-pop world might be OVER. 😭😭💕

Anon, if this reading is as accurate as it feels, I’m about to become his No. 1 fan. HOW IS THIS REAL?? Like, send prayers because I can already hear “Stan Taeyong” whispering in my subconscious. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! 😭😭😭💓

HOLY MOTHER OF EVERYTHING THATS UNDER THE HEAVENS 😭😭😭😭😭😭 Okay, like, hear me out—I CANNOT WITH THIS!!! NO WAY this reading isn’t the most accurate thing ever because what?? WHAT?!?! I literally went on Pinterest, right, just to get some pics of this Taeyong from NCT for the Tumblr post. AND THEN I SEE IT. I see it!!! HE HAS TATTOOS AND ONE LOOKS LIKE AN ANGEL??? 😱 EXCUSE ME, WHAT?? Is this why I literally channeled this guy earlier standing in front of a SERAPHIM ANGEL bathed in golden light, and this angel was telling him “You shall not fret”???? I’m absolutely screaming right now. Like, seriously—how is that a coincidence??? THAT'S DIVINE GUIDANCE, PROTECTION, AND BLESSINGS. BUT WAIT, there’s more. I found PICTURES of this Taeyong with blond hair, on an island, in the brightest of sunlight, wearing WHITE SHORTS. (Okay, close enough. Very close, Spirit. I see you.) AND THEN—AND THEN—out of nowhere, KRIS WU FLASHES in my mind’s eye, and I’m like “huh, that’s random, who cares??” But NO—turns out Taeyong’s in SUPERM, which has EXO MEMBERS, and I used to LOVE Kris Wu back in the day, so I’m like, WAIT A SECOND, IS SPIRIT TRYING TO TELL ME TAEYONG IS INVOLVED IN SOME WAY WITH EXO??? What’s happening right now, because this is CRAZY???!!! Like seriously, I'm SHOOOOCKED 😭😭😭. Spirit literally knows exactly what it's doing, and I’m here about to become a full-blown Taeyong stan at this point, like there’s no going back now. This is absolutely mind-blowing. I’m so shook I can't even breathe.

The umpteenth edit before posting:

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭 WHAT?? NO. THERE'S NO WAY!! So I’m over here, right, I found this pic of Taeyong's tattoos—literally DROPPED MY JAW, because I’m over here trying to connect it with the whole seraphim angel I channeled earlier. And then I literally look at the COMMENTS on the pic, AND WHAT DO I SEE?? A FREAKING 111 in the comments!! 😱 LIKE WHAT??? WHAT??? HOW IS THIS EVEN REAL?? 111, the angel number, like this was the universe giving me a freaking confirmation that everything I was channeling was spot-on? I’m literally losing my mind right now. I'm over here connecting dots I didn’t even know needed to be connected, and spirit is just THROWING signs at me like “Here, have this, and this, and this!” I'm screaming, I’m laughing, I can’t even—SPIRIT KNOWS WHAT IT’S DOING!!! 😭😭😭 I cannot. This reading is like a whole divine conspiracy happening right before my eyes, and I’m just HERE for it. There's no way in hell this is a coincidence. NO WAY.

It's official: I WILL NEVER RECOVER��

*dies*

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

Sooo uhhhh I read brothers YuBin and holy shit was the story good. I genuinely felt bad for Soobin at certain points in the story because it’s so clear that Yunho has been treating him badly since they were kids and used him to get the reactions he wants etc. But that also doesn’t excuse him just allowing it to happen even if he’s afraid of Yunho. It makes him more complex of a character and I will always enjoy that over a onesided character!

And Yunho… is it bad a tiny part of me feel bad for him as well? Because something obviously went wrong for him as a child or perhaps teen for him to develop these tendencies and no adult around him clocked it and put him into therapy… he’s absolutely unhinged in the way he adores Soobin while also kinda lowkey hating him? Or perhaps hating is the wrong word, more like he gets annoyed easily at Soobin not acting the way he thinks he should act. The part where he was threatening her and called Soobin her boyfriend instead of my brother I first thought he was cleverly manipulating her into viewing Soobin as something more until I read the part where he is slowly realizing he’s jealous.

And man oh man do I feel bad for her😭 sweet summer child if I could I’d rescue you🥲 I think her and Soobin could have had a genuine friendship if he had tried approaching her to talk before Yunho did what he did and that makes me wanna cry cuz like they could have been besties with potential to be more😭😭😭 I do appreciate him trying to treat her gently even though he’s obviously going along with it all just because it makes him happy. He’s doing small acts of goodness while at the same time doing something very illegal.

All I can say is I really really enjoyed reading this one, the tension between all three were really good, there was complexity behind all three of them and I kept wondering what would happen next. Do I fear for our sweet girlie in what could potentially happen in a part 2? Yep that I do because Yunho feels like he’d just get more and more unhinged as his jealousy grows and I got a feeling Soobin would just go along with it because it’s the easy choice and in the end it most often results in him getting what he wants!

Thank you for writing and sharing it with us Star!! I think you wrote it perfectly💓 - 🫧 anon

thank you bubblessss !! i love getting feedback and you friggin nailed it with everything you said,

like i was thinking something is WRONG with yunho. and whether it's genetic or not, soobin has it too. yunho has very obviously been manipulating soobin for a long, long time. like even soobin can feel him getting angry when he's not looking at just a tilt of his head makes soobin nervous :(

he's definitely not just a victim though ! at the very very least i would compare him to the members in the baby series, they don't agree with what the other person does but they don't do anything at all to actually stop them- and in soobin's case, he actually plays into it because you're right; it gets him what he wants. he doesn't want to hurt her, but he doesn't know what else to do especially because yunho is telling him that this is what's best. he's a very layered character !! i love complex characters, reading and writing them <3

yunho too, he's not a one note asshole who does things for the fuck of it- he does things because he thinks that how they should be and he does them for his brother. which, yes, leads to the resentment and annoyance when things don't go his way but that's just who he is as a person, he's DEFINITELY got some kind of mental illness or at the very least- an ego problem

i just finished the first scene of part two and i think it'll be a good follow up !

[sukirichi]

hi suki!! just wanted to drop in and thank you so much for the tags you left on my sae fic 🥹💗 when i tell you they made my whole day!! i was really reading them giggling and kicking my feet lmao they were so sweet 🥰 i really appreciate you taking the time to read it and i’m so glad you enjoyed it!! hope you have the best day 🤗 -Dawn

hello dawn !! aaaaa omg i rambled sm on the tags there but i meant every word i said, your sae fic was so good that i had to read it again the next morning because i just could not stop thinking about it 😭 i gotta say, as a sae fan, you wrote him so well that it really made me fall for him harder 🫶🏻 hope you’re having an even better one!! xoxo 💓

[pixlpxie]

i actually think i might have a crush on you. i've interacted with you off anon sometimes (i think i even did that once from my main, i do own three blogs😭), and the way you talk to me (of course, it makes me horny) but makes me feel cared for and worthy? it's hard to explain, and im not good with expressing myself nor my feelings. it’s so easy to see that you're just so adorable, cute, and most importantly kind. i think that's what draws me in. i feel like you might be very close to my ideal type character wise (ofc it’s only based on this blog but that’s just how i feel). i sometimes find myslef thinking about you during the day (not only when i touch myself). i kind of want to believe that we would hit it off in real life.

i even find myself worrying about you sometimes, wondering if your arent overwhelmed with the amount of asks or if the hate isn��t too much on you.

you’ve created this space for people to share their thoughts, desires and even worries and it’s just so amazing. i admire you for that.

i hope this message doesn't come off as too forward or make you uncomfortable. (i know you reassured us multiple of times that you aren’t uncomfortable but really it’s just a me problem as i am a very anxious person and i tend to worry too much)

i really do hope you will have a good day!

oh and here 🫱🏻💐 i’ve got you some flowers

(thank you for being you and for creating a space where people like me can feel understood and appreciated💖)

Oh my god I truly wasnt expecting this and im literally giggling and kicking my feet 😭 i can't stop smiling pleasee😭🩷🩷 like you mean to tell me im in your thoughts and its in both ways🥴?? And you worry about me??😮‍💨 that's so sweet i might as well sob and fall for u rn😮‍💨 i think you expressed your feelings very well bc you had me all giggly and blushing👉🏻🩷👈🏻 id really wanna know who you are but however you're comfortable babe but know that what you're saying means a lot to me and I'll never forget this ask🤭🫶🏻

also im okay 🥹 the hate i get here is so funny to me it entertains me a lot and I love getting asks lately i tend to be busy so i havent been able to get back to most of them properly but im not overwhelmed trust me 💕💕 and im sure we would hit it off babe how can we not when you're this perfect 🤭 it really means a lot for me if you can enjoy here and find this blog as a safe space and baby you don't ever have to be anxious with me you can always be comfy here you know im not uncomfortable with anything you say or send💓 omg im rambling i think atp but this just made my day, trust me my day literally got better thanks to you i hope you have a great day too🥹🩷

Also thank you for those gorgeous flowers and heres a kiss from me bc youre so kissable ilysm👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻💕

[everybodyshusband]

Ok so I'm not really back to normal but I'm gonna ignore my tummy for a couple minutes in favour of talking to you because I've been dying to send another ask after your wonderful responses!!!

I'll send it in sort of bullet points bc idek if anything I'm saying is even coherent and this might be easier for you to understand? (Or it might not, I'm sorry) In my brain everything makes sense but then sometimes when I say it out loud or write it it's like "what the hell is she saying rn?" So here I go:

- that bit you wrote about swiss and Copia with the soap and swiss stops swearing even when not regressed... oh, it has my heart... Poor baby, I hope Copia makes it up to him with lots of cuddles! I can imagine them laying in bed, Swiss with his head on Copia's chest, as Copia kisses his forehead/hair/nose/whatever he can reach, and promises it's never going to happen again over and over until swiss believes him and eventually falls asleep... (He even drools a little in his sleep, but don't tell him shhhh)

- I understood what you meant about the part I thought I didn't understand in the rain fic! Ugh every time I read that fic I just wanna give him the biggest hug my poor baby... Their dynamic in that fic is so "it's rotten work" 'not to me, not if it's you' I'm screaming and sobbing about it 😭🥹😍

- I will literally always enable you to ramble about any of your fics! Anything! I'm interested!!! I promise!!!! Anything you want to bring up??? Guess what!? I'm all ears!!! Always!!

-not gonna lie I felt pretty shitty all day bc of my tummy (and still do) but your super sweet responses and thinking about sending you an ask kept me a bit motivated (and distracted from the fact that tomorrow is Monday and I gotta work 😭) so thank you!

- I wanted to ask if there's a specific fic that's close to your heart or one that you like a bit more or one you wish got more attention? Because I'll get my greedy lil paws all over it in like 2 seconds flat and start discussing it... I think I've read everything you've posted but I wanna hear your thoughts on your own stuff too!! 💓💓💕💗💗💖💖💗

You're probably sleeping rn and you'll probably see this tomorrow so I hope you slept well and the day ahead is good to you! 🩷

ooh, my darling anon, i've been hoarding this and all your other asks for much, much too long, i am so, so sorry !!! please know i love and appreciate each and every one of your kind words, even if it takes me a very long time to respond 💙

under the cut because of length, haha :'D

i hope that by now your tummy has settled down a bit, i'm sorry this bout of stomach issues seemed to hit you so hard :0 (oh, and don't worry ! your asks always make perfect sense, my friend !!)

don't worry, after the incident, copia makes sure to give soooo much extra love and care to swiss. that ghoul is not escaping those cuddles from copia without plentiful doses of extra love and chaste forehead, cheek and nose kisses, haha !! copia is so very willing to reassure swiss that he's safe and that it won't happen again, you're right (and you're also very right in that swiss drools right onto copia's papal vestments, but not to worry, the stain comes out ...eventually)

ah !! i'm glad it's making more sense now :D i have a chronic case of the "does not write the things in his head into the actual fic" haha !! i agree that rainy deserves all the hugs in the world, it's a very icky headspace for the poor little guy to be in and he deserves so many hugs for doing his best to navigate it. whether or not he accepts the hugs though is another story entirely...

again, i hope your tummy is feeling better by now. or maybe it's been long enough that you've cycled around into another rough patch ? ooh, i hope not. but either way, i'm sending you so many good tummy vibes, hehe <3 (and maybe you'll take solace in the fact that as i'm answering this, tomorrow is a wednesday rather than a monday ?)

ooooh, that's difficult, haha !! the rain fic you mentioned before is the one that's closest to my heart at the moment, i think. but i'm also quite attached to my most recent ficlet with regressed aeon and zephyr because oh my goodness, i love their dynamic and i want to explore it as much as i can, hello ?!? and then on the complete other side of the spectrum i'm very proud of this t4t raindrop filth, haha !! i think because they're all my newest works i haven't had the time to build up an "ew, what was i thinking !??!" response to them, so i'm still feeling very good about these three. and by the looks of it, other people seem to like them as well, which is a nice bonus :)

thank you very much again for your lovely asks, anon 💙 they make me smile and brighten my day every single time i look at them !! i hope life has been treating you well, my dear, and i hope that you have a wonderful day/night depending on where you are in the world 💙

[jungkoode]

Hi Kiki! :-) I've done this before, but this time I decided not to include my name becauseeee...I'm shy and I don't want to annoy you. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LMAO. 😭 but I just wanted to say, I really appreciate you as an author, I've never seen someone so passionate as you in your craft. It's very clear that you care about what you put out, and you care about your readers and I think that's so inspiring. You're a very special human being and as much as I love reading your fanfiction (the way you write and describe the vibe of each chapters of FMU PLEASEEEE it's one of a kind & so so beautiful. 😩😍), I still wanna thank you, because I just love your energy, and I check in everyday not just because I want an update from you, it's because I genuinely love reading your interactions with your readers. So yeah, keep being you Kiki :-) you honestly have made a lot of people happy with your writing, not just me. 💖💖💗💓💓 OMG i'm sorry if it's too long! 🥲

PLS STOP APOLOGIZING FOR SWEET COMMENTS BEFORE I START CHARGING YOU A FINE. You’re out here being all shy like this isn’t EXACTLY what I live for. This is my fuel. My lifeline. My entire raison d’être. Do you understand the JOY it brings me to read stuff like this?? You’re over here like, “omg sorry, I hope I’m not annoying,” while I’m rolling around on the floor like, “YES GIVE ME MORE.”

And listen—LISTEN TO ME—I want my inbox PACKED. BURSTING AT THE SEAMS. I’m begging for chaos. Have doubts? Ask me. Think something doesn’t make sense? Call me out. Curious about the backstory, or why a character is acting like their trauma’s about to jump out? PLEASE ASK ME. I’m literally itching to overanalyze every single detail. I will go feral. I will pull out my notes. I’ll tell you my deranged 3 a.m. thought process when I decided Jungkook should be [redacted] levels of emotionally unavailable. I AM READY TO YAP. JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE.

Theorize. Ramble. Yell about the fic. Send me questions about FMU—about the plot, the vibes, the characters’ life choices (because let’s be real, most of them are BAD). Or even just yell “Jungkook” in my inbox and I’ll start screaming about how he doesn’t deserve rights after half the stunts he’s pulled. My inbox is your canvas. Throw paint on it. I will happily roll in it.

And honestly, thank you for this comment because it means the WORLD to know you’re not just here for the updates, but for my deranged little yaps with y’all. That’s what makes writing all of this feel so worth it. 💖 LET’S KEEP TALKING. KEEP YELLING. I PROMISE I’LL ALWAYS YAP BACK.

[petrichoraline]

🦊 because you're witty and brutally honest and i'm intimidated by witty and sincere people

I GOT A FOX! I got a foxxx 😭💞

putting this here in case someone else wants to surprise me

listen, this message took me on a bit of a ride cause I was excited to see my theory proven right (that some of the asks I receive on anon are by people who find me intimidating) so thank you for the confirmation!

but now: "witty and brutally honest"

is that about me?? I'm flattered and perplexed at the same time hahah because "witty" is one of my favourite qualities a person could have.. i won't deny i could be perceived as such, I trust you, it is really nice and surprising to see it directed at me like this, thank you 💓

as for "brutally honest".. one thing that i decided on when i started communicating with people on here more was that i would try to be as nice and sincere as possible. some of the people I like chatting with and i see as intimidating have a relatively blunt way of speaking. i find them very cool because they seem like the type to not care much about how they're perceived whereas i come off as a bit of a try hard. some people have a naturally warm way of expressing themselves, i work on it - I think which emojis would be suitable, stop using caps if it starts feeling like the text is becoming too invasive (???), overall i pay attention to how my words come across and i sometimes worry i come off as insincere because of it. so it really is a surprise being perceived like this :) is it in relation to the way I talk about media? i do yap a lot and i get quite direct in tags 😂 so maybe. or maybe how I answer more personal asks? in those cases i put effort into getting my points across without sounding harsh. all that's besides the point I want to make which is

please feel more comfortable with me pleaseeee

i like being seen as intimidating maybe because the people i admire are intimidating. but that is in direct juxtaposition with my goal and the efforts i've been putting towards it - i want to be approachable, for people to feel at ease talking to me and asking me questions and for us to discuss things openly because THEMES! TROPES! BAD WARDROBE DECISIONS!!!

shows are so exciting to talk about, i learn so much from these conversations and sometimes theyre just plain silly fun! and even aside from fandom stuff, i'd like to be someone people find comforting. which is why it's important i also remain sincere - someone who only ever says what the other wants to hear will soon lose all credibility, why ask someone their opinion if you know they're just gonna repeat your own back at you regardless? and also it's my blog. so. i deserve to be a bit of a bitch from time to time😄

i understand where you're coming from, I feel this way about a lot of bloggers on here and i am sure they are a lot less scary than i perceive them as haha so I can't make you suddenly find me not intimidating but i do hope you know that logically speaking (because i am being a tad bit hypocritical, my nervous overthinking self knows things and then feels feelings despite that) there's nothing to be intimidated by - this whole thing is all about having fun and learning alongside other people. whether you perceive them as smarter, more insightful or competent in their field of interest, they are all here for the same thing! and would love sharing their interest and passion with you. yes, some ppl are less sociable than others but usually you could tell if that's the case. as for me, i am directly telling you i am already going "awww" at you and your message. it takes some courage to admit that and if you're like me, you were nervous sending it but i appreciate that you did very much <3 and i can only hope you come to see me as someone warmer and easier to talk to in the future 💕💗💓💞💝

[applejuicefruit]

This might sound weird but can i request Olivier Giroud x teen reader, like where they are neighbours and reader’s parents are like drunk and drugged people so he takes care of her? In a fatherly way❤️❤️

I really love your blog! You writings are my favorites❤️❤️

Okay so you’re telling me there are NONE writings about Olivier Giroud on this app?

THIS MAN NEEDS MORE APPRECIATION

Thank you so much for requesting this! This one actually feels very personal to me.

I hope you like this💓

(Let’s pretends Oli doesn’t have kids and a wife in this story okay🤭)

also tw : domestic abuse, drug and alcohol mention, violence , oliver being the father i actually need since mine went out to buy milk and never came back ☹️

kylian mbappe is in this one too! kinda of kylian x friend reader where they both have a crush on each other 🤭

just look at the way he’s comforting kylian 😭😭😭😭😭

Safe

You grew up in a pretty messed up family.

You’re parents were caring and nice when you were a kid but once you grew up they stopped caring about you. The only reason they didn’t divorce was because they had to decided who would take care of you and since no one wanted to do it they remained married. Also because if they divorced your rich uncles wouldn’t gave them any more money. You called them for help so many times and the only thing they did was giving them money.

What a shitty family.

You can’t recall when everything started to going down you just remembered being alone all of sudden.

You lived in a fancy complex in the middle of Milan. It was a very expensive building, the one who has a gym and a pool inside of it. If it wasn’t for your uncles you all would be living under a bridge now.

Your parents acted normal in public but inside your house everything was crazy. They would constantly fight and throw things at each other. They would scream and hit each other and that made you feel so unsafe.

You tried to escape once and saying that they didn’t even realised you were gone hurt you.

You were 18 so legally you could have left, problem you had no job or degree.

One night the constantly screaming made you feel sick and you decided to sit on the stairs of your complex hoping they would stop.

It was cold and you were only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of jeans but you were so scared of going back inside that you preferred staying cold.

You waited for two hours, sitting there all alone but they wouldn’t stop. You started crying and fidgeting with your hands, your anxiety rising when you heard someone coming out of the elevator.

You pretended you didn’t hear anything so your neighbour wouldn’t ask you.

You knew exactly who he was.

Olivier Giroud, the famous football player. He played for Milan and for the Equipe de France. He won the world cup once. He’s also champion of Italy now.

He was a nice person. Always greeting you when he saw you, asking you if you were good. He was like an angel sent to heart. Everyone loved him for his caring and gentle soul.

In fact he was going home when he saw you sitting on the stairs, shivering from the cold.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” he asked with a concerned voice

“Yes” you said with a shaky voice and in that moment you cursed yourself because you didn’t want to look so weak

“Are you sure?”

“Mh-mh”

“What are you doing outside here? It’s cold,

plus it’s past midnight, you should be sleeping…”

“I’m fine”

“Have you eaten?” he asked and when he mentioned food your stomach rumbled

You were starving.

“Do you want to come inside and eat something?” he asked hoping you would say yes

“I don’t want to bother”

“It’s fine really”

In that moment you turned around to look at him and when he saw your face his heart broke a little. Your eyes red and puffy from crying.

You stood up and followed him inside his home.

His apartment completely different from yours.

It was clean and nice decorated. It felt like home.

“You can sit on the couch if you want to, I’ll get you something to eat” he said while you sat

He came back a few moments later with a very good looking sandwich and you couldn’t help to smile at his kind gesture.

You thanked him and started eating.

Once you’ve finished he gave you something to drink and set everything in the sink.

“Now can you tell me what were you doing outside?” he asked you again

“I didn’t want to stay at home”

“Your parents?” he asked and you looked at him with an interrogative face “I hear them fight sometimes” he said

“Yup, that’s my life”

“Have you called someone?”

“I’ve called so many people and no one would do anything”

“I’m sorry, truly, if you want you can use my guest bedroom and stay here tonight” he said

“I can’t accept, you already did a lot for me”

“I insist, I can’t let you go back knowing they might hurt you”

You thought about it and accepted his offer.

Just for one night.

He showed you the way and the moment you touched the bed you drifted off to sleep.

He woke you up around 8 am

“I’m sorry to wake you up but I have to go to practice, you can stay here a bit more if you want to” he said truthfully

“No it’s fine I’ve got school in one hour…”

“Okay, well, if you need anything just give a call” he gave you his phone number and you thanked him.

After that night days passed and everyday he would make sure you were okay. He texted you and asked if you needed anything. Truth was you wanted to spend the rest of your days in his apartment, away from your parents but you couldn’t take advantage of his kindness like this.

This month things got worse.

Your dad started drinking again because things were going bad at work, your mum started using again and you were on the verge of a crisis.

“Y/n!” your dad called you from the living room.

You were in your bedroom doing your homework so you decided to ignore him.

It was almost 10 pm so he would have probably fell asleep very soon. Your mom was out, probably with some druggies.

“Y/n!” your dad called you again.

You decide to go out and see what he wanted.

When he saw you he smiled a bit.

“Honey can you get me a beer?” he asked.

Was he serious?

“No” you replied back

“Excuse me?”

“I said no. I was doing my homework and you interrupted me. Plus you’re already drunk you don’t need another beer!” you said almost leaving when you saw the bottle of his empty beer crashing straight into the wall in front of you.

“Where do you think you’re going whore! Come back and pay me some respect! I’m your father” he said standing up from the couch.

You started to being scared.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…” you apologised hoping he would calm down.

You were so wrong.

He come towards you with an inhuman speed and slapped you right in face. The impact was so hard you fell to the floor. He never raised his hands to you.

“Dad I said i’m sorry please…”

“What a whore, always begging just like whores do” he said sitting on top of you “I bet you like when I hit you” he said punching your nose making it hard to breathe.

You tried to free yourself and somehow, due to the fact that he was drunk he lost his balance and fell.

In that moment you ran out of your apartment and ran through the corridor trying to find Olivier’s apartment.

“Olivier…” you almost shouted knowing on this door. You really hoped he was home you didn’t have no where to go “Olivier please please open the door” you knocked a bit louder, your eyes full of tears, your face red and you knows bleeding “please please Olivier”

That’s until you saw him opening the door with a very concerned face

When you saw him you hugged him so tight you were scared to leave him.

He was shocked, he didn’t know what was going on so he simply hugged you.

You cried into his shirt but he didn’t mind

He waited a few minutes before you calmed down.

“Sweetie can you look at me?” the moment you looked at him he saw your bleeding nose and your red cheek “What happened? Who did this to you?” he asked in a more serious tone

“My-my father…he was - he was drunk he didn’t mean to”

“I’m calling the police”

“No please no, don’t”

“Sweetheart…”

“I know it’s a bit messed up but they’re the only family I have, please…”

The moment you said this you saw your dad coming straight into Oli’s apartment.

Olivier saw it and he put you behind him in a protective way.

“Leave before I call the police”

“Why? What has done this whore for you? Is she good in bed? The only reason a football player would stay with her I guess”

“I won’t say it again, leave before I call the police”

“Nah, the bitch is coming home with me and she’s going to learn some good manners”

“Not a chance” Olivier said protecting you “now leave my apartment before I call the police”

Your dad left without not even looking at you.

The moment he left you started crying harder and shaking. You were so scared.

“Hey hey it’s fine. You’re okay he’s gone okay? He won’t hurt you ever again I promise you, I swear on my life” he said hugging you.

You simply nodded too tired to even reply.

He medicated your nose and let you sleep in his guest bedroom.

The morning after you woke up with a lot of noise coming from your apartment.

“Olivier?” you called him going into his living room

“Stay here” he simply said

“What’s going on?”

“The police is here…I know I said I wouldn’t call them but…” he didn’t even finish the sentence that you hugged him

“Thank you” you said

He smiled and hugged you back.

From that day on you continued living with him, his guest bedroom became your own bedroom. He helped you with homework and did everything a father should do for his own kids even if you weren’t his. He would bring you his matches and you would cheer for him. Who knew you liked football this much?

Until the moment of the world cup came

You couldn’t go with him in Qatar mostly because of school so you had to stay home alone for a month. You weren’t sure how to react, after your past you hated being alone.

“So…” he said coming through the door and sitting on the sofa watching tv with you “how would you feel coming in Qatar with me?” he asked you

“I-I…you know I would love to but I have school”

“I already talked with your school. Your grades are high and you’re the best of the class…they agreed to let you do online classes for a month, in case you wanted to come”

You were speechless. You said yes without even thinking.

When you got in Qatar you went straight into your room and fell asleep on the huge comfortable bed. The next day Olivier introduced you to the rest of the team, everyone knew your past but they decided to not say anything to make you uncomfortable. They all made you feel safe.

You took a liking in Kylian.

He was the first one to approach you.

He introduced himself and you started talking.

“So how’s my belle today?” he asked when he saw you coming out of your bedroom

“I’m good thank you! How are you?”

“Fine, ready to our first match against Australia” he said knowing it was going to be a great match “in fact…I wanted to ask you if you could wear this” he said giving you his jersey “you know, as a good luck”

“Of course but don’t tell Olivier” you said making you both laugh.

Olivier tho saw everything from a distance and couldn’t be happier that you were making friends. Even if he knew he would have to talk with Kylian.

“Okay…well I better go now, I have practice” he said awkwardly

“Oh yes, sure…I’ll see you tonight”

“Yes…well, bye” he said waving to you.

At the stadium you were in the VIP section, feeling protected with a lot of security. The game went good! France won 4-1 against Australia. Rabiot scored first, Giroud scored twice and Kylian scored too. You couldn’t be happier. You knew they were celebrating in the changing room so you simply texted Olivier you were coming back to the hotel.

Once arrived you changed into your pajamas and laid Kylian’s jersey on your bed.

A few hours later a gentle knock woke you up from your sleep. When you opened you saw a very happy and excited Kylian.

“Did I wake you?” he said apologising

“No” you lied

“Sure…” he said not believing you but smiling “the jersey brought me good luck”

You couldn’t help but blush.

“You’re just good at playing football Kylian, I didn’t do anything”

“You were there, for Olivier, for me, and for the team…and that meant a lot” he said truthfully looking into your eyes. You didn’t know how to feel. You’ve never had a boyfriend, you’ve never had a real crush so you didn’t know how to act. He kinda sensed it your discomfort so he just smiled trying to ease it a bit.

You got lost into his eyes.

“I’ve spoken with Olivier” he said out of nothing “he really cares about you…that’s why he threatened me”

“He did what?” you almost shouted

“He said I have to treat you good and if I dared to hurt you he would kill me” he said now laughing and you couldn’t help to laugh too “but we’re good friends so I would never hurt you…”

Ouch that hurt.

Just friends?

He saw your expression change and he wanted to say a bit more.

“Unless…you don’t want us to be just friends?” he teased a bit and you were completely out of words.

Of course you wanted to be more than friends!

He looked straight into your eyes and saw the way you were looking at his lips so the made first step and gently put his hands on your face and kissed you. Very gently. His lips like feathers on yours. You wrapped your arms around his body and put him closer to you.

You kissed for a while before you separated to catch breathe.

“I want this” he said truthfully “I want to be more than friends”

“I don’t know how to act Kylian…I’ve never dated”

“We’ll take things slow, I won’t pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to but please, just give me a chance”

You didn’t even replied back instead you kissed him.

He smiled into the kiss.

If someone told you a couple of months ago that this was going to be your life you wouldn’t believed it but now this was really your life and you couldn’t be more grateful.

To that angel named Olivier who changed your life in the best way.

[zepskies]

Girl you're not the only one to barely survive hurricane April! lmao But I hope your boys are feeling better! Thank you so much for making the time to do this. 💜💜💜

And do you know what, I've been feeling kind of off and not really happy about my own writing lately, so that's actually amazing for me to hear right now for this little installment of ESC. Coming from one of the writers I admire most around here, I really appreciate you saying that, friend!! 🥹💓💓

(Also: Is it just me or why does SB look even hotter in Gen V? Never mind, ADHD brain is swerving off 😆)

You're not wrong!! When I was watching Gen V I had to ask myself, "did he get even hotter? Is that humanly possible?" 🫠🫠🫠

(Also the fact that he ad-libbed so many of the lines in this scene still makes me cackle and blush 😂)

And I loved the banter and cuteness in the supermarket! Also, so accurate he'd throw everything in the cart. I legit hate taking my husband grocery shopping with me because of this exact problem 😂

LOL he's one of those, is he? It sounds to me like your hubs is a lot like Russell -- adorkable but better left at home around food 🤣

His Dean is showing 😝

Oh definitely lmfao. Russell has a lot of Deanisms already, but the foodie thing I think is peak Dean Behavior.

And it might be random or me reading too much into it, but I loved lines like that and those parts of domesticity because it truly shows Russell finally had a home and something close to a normal life for the first time, and that just does something to me 😭❤️‍🩹

I really love you for this comment because that's exactly what I was getting at. 😭 It can be read as a throwaway line, but really it's about how comfortable they are together at this stage, and how much Russ has gotten used to having home-cooked meals and "special sauce" she makes for him special. 😂💖

I probably sobbed too much while reading this over the smallest shit lol. Something about your writing and the way you tell stories really makes me think about life and emotions, I guess. Stop doing that lmao!!!

ahaha honestly I love it!! 💞 I'm a romantic sap in more than just the romcom sense, I guess. Doesn't matter if it's the fantasy SPN setting, LOTR, or the grounded realism in Tracker, I feel like writing stories is all about the relationships, the internal struggle, the connections we can make to real life, and how good stories can move you for that reason. I know we're "just writing fanfic" around here, but that's just how I look at storytelling in general. 🥹

But you know what, just spray me with water like a feral cat so I stop trying to tug at your heartstrings! lolll 😝 (sorryyyyyy)

Ooof, here we go! And honestly, I can so understand both sides of that argument. Plus, on Russell's side, there always seems to be that sense of shame about his past and desire to pretend he's normal, which is totally understandable but so heartbreaking as well that he can't even fully open up to the woman he's been loving and living with for a year now. Rips my heart apart 😭

Ooooh yeah, here we fucking go with the angst train. 😅 I'm so glad you see both sides, since we agree that that aspect makes for the best arguments! 👏���� I also think as writer's we're more used to playing devil's advocate for our characters lol. We can and should be able to argue either side, even if we don't wholly agree with either one's points. 🥲

And with Russell here I'm glad you agree, because how emotionally repressed has this guy got to be after the life he's led? I didn't feel like it was too much of a stretch for him to still be struggling with this, even a year into their relationship. 💙💙

Same HC, my friend 😂👌

lolll right? If this guy can help himself to the groceries in a stranger's home, he's serious about food. 🤣

Loved how you worked this in! That story from the books stuck with me a lot too! All the "never" rules, the weird milestones... Really feel for those kids, but especially Russell and Colter 🥲💔 (The few times you think John Winchester was actually more humane and reasonable 🙈)

Michelle gave me some amazing and detailed notes on the family history bits of these books, and it both intrigued me and broke my heart for Russ and Colter especially. 😭 Ooh but I need to know more about the "never rules." Would make sense since the first book is called The Never Game lol

(Ughhhh totally! I think Ashton might edge out John on this one, and that's a tough feat. 🫠)

And again, so understandable he doesn't want to be pitied and in a way just move on with his life without constantly thinking about the dark spots. And, on the other hand, completely makes sense reader wants to *know* him on that soul-deep level, especially since she loves him and clearly plans on spending the rest of her life with him. Such a hard situation for everyone involved 🥺 Like we always say: Only a good argument when you can understand both sides 😅 And you executed this entire scene perfectly 🫶

Yess exactly! He's spent, what, 20ish years pushing all that shit down? The last thing he wants to do is dredge it all up now when he thinks he's moved past it all. But at the same time, he can't fault her for wanting to know him on that "soul-deep level," as you put it so perfectly. They're both thinking that each other is The One at this point. It's just a matter of getting through this state of limbo the reader feels like they're stuck in. Russell's finally figuring that out too as he starts to see where she's coming from. 🥲💕

Haha yes!! I'm so glad you think so because despite all the angst, I really had fun on turning what should be a basic domestic little scene of putting groceries away into a full on drama. 😅

I still love you for this 😂🩵🩵🩵

Lollll had to shoutout the Classified Files! I'm still very much looking forward to reading that prequel to TES, especially because I know you put in so much research into that. 👏🏽 We really be out here making mini novels in fanfic form 🤣🤣

Another line that hits so fucking deep 😭

Oof yeah. Idk if you've seen Yellowstone, but Kayce Dutton is a big inspo for informing me on how to write Russell in BP. He was a soldier as well, highly decorated if I remember right. He struggles like Russ (and Dean) struggles with this idea of being a good man for his wife and son, but also a trained killer. Kayce also had a line in season 2 that was like, "People don't tell war stories anymore," because they're too fucking brutal to tell.

But I genuinely loved how you balanced all the angst and heartbreak with humor. I was still crying when I snorted at this exchange 😂😂

ahaha I'm nowhere as witty as you, but I try my best to strike that balance on the heavy stuff with a little cheekiness! 😂😂 The "nuh-uh" was probably my favorite for the reader. She's fed UP for real 🤣

Again, you're really punching deep with this whole story. And maybe it's me being too attached to Russell after reading the books as well and really knowing all their pain, but you're really hitting the nail on the head with all his thoughts and his true essence 😭💙

Oh thank you!!! 💜💜 Even though I haven't read the books (yet lol), I was trying to imagine what kind of mentality Russell has been shaped into through the military for him not to be able to give it up entirely through the contract work. He's trying to figure out how to fully become his own man, without revealing the stuff he's not proud of in his past 🥲

Yup, and that's a whole other story, too. There's his past on the one hand, but also how that childhood influenced the rest of his life. We already know from people like Charlie how hard it is for soldiers to return to civilian life, but I imagine it's even twice as hard for Russell because most soldiers still have a family to come home to. They still had that sense of normalcy like Christmases and birthdays, even family checking in over laggy Skype calls, you know? And Russell had none of that for two decades and even throughout his whole childhood. I don't even blame him for stalling because he literally doesn't know a different life – not in the slightest. Aaaaan I'm crying again... 😩

God YESSS. Once again you're outlining all the things I felt inherently about how I was writing him, but hadn't fully put into words, if that makes sense. 🤣 All he knew after he left "home" was the military. He never had that grounding aspect of a family to check in to, let alone a home outside of his work. His childhood trauma is really only the tip of the iceberg, unfortunately.

And now I'M crying toooooo 😭

I love all the Easter eggs in this 😂🐣 (And I believe the burgers and fries sweatpants might have been referring to Dean?)

LOL well it is Easter, after all! 😂 I love how you always find my little eggs. YES the sweatpants were Dean-inspired!! And what happened in this Nicaragua is going to be important later on, even after Part 2...

Because yes I'm already working on Part 3 of this! You and others inspired me to keep going and let the show be its own thing. 💕💕 I just bought book 3, The Final Twist, so I can dig a bit deeper into Colter and that part of the Family Secret with Ashton. I'm going to diverge even from the books on certain things though, so some plot twists might still surprise you! 😁

Wanna know what I did here? CRIED. That's what.

Girl same, and now it's my turn to use this gif--

Can't blame him honestly 😂 Even I saved that one in TCF for a almost a deathbed confession lol.

Right? lmaoo and while it wasn't on a deathbed, Russ did wait for his girl's near-death experience to finally give that piece up. 😭

Yup 💯 I don't know exactly why. It doesn't seem to be just age sometimes of why Colter always comes across as more detached and neutral about their whole childhood. As if in a way Colter is even grateful for it because it made him who is, whereas Russell seems to hate what it's done to him. A lot of that can probably be attributed to Russell having to leave the family behind as a result, and Colter never had to give up his mother or sister at least. But yeah, of course Russell's memories of a normal life were a lot stronger than his siblings. So heartbreaking all around 😭

I think your analysis is right on point. That's probably the biggest difference between Colter and Russell on how they see their childhoods. Russell was forced to leave his family, while Colter had it easier in multiple respects, even though he went through tough training too. He was younger, so he adapted to the "training" better than Russell and had more of a normal life by comparison.

He also became a loner in life more out of choice, whereas Russell, again, didn't really have a choice. So later on in Part 2 when he and Colter have that argument in the hospital, you really see even more of the divide on where each other stands regarding their dad.

Something you brought up in TES has been weighing on my mind too (and I'll eventually get into it here in BP), is the mom's position in all of this. She strikes me as very cold, and also hiding a hell of a lot regarding her husband, because how tf does a mother tell her son to leave, even if it is for the family's safety? Where's the safety for Russell? 🫠🫠

*snorts* He can be such a dork 🤣

lmfao he really is, but it also got me contemplating how the reader will react if he ever pulls that shit with Reenie in front of her. 🤣🤣

And I absolutely loved Dory in this part! She was so genuine and open with both Russell and reader. She's really walking that balance between brother and best friend well 💕 (Also love a good girls night with New Girl)

Dory is such a real one! 😭 She's doing her best here to be there for both of them, even if she can't be 100% honest with the reader yet. (Those giggly girl drunk girls nights are the best 😂😂)

Oooof and that ending! Glad I already read Part 2 because that damn cliffhanger killed me the first time around 😜 Again, friend, this was so amazing and you've really outdone yourself with this series!! You weaved all those little pieces together masterfully, and I can't wait to see what you have in store for them next. I absolutely wouldn't mind if it took a different direction from the show or books even. I fully accept your version as canon 💜💜💜

hahaaa it's a killer, ain't it? 😏 I get why cliffhangers make people so mad, but I know at least my writer friends appreciate them. They work! 🤣

I appreciate you so much, Wayne, thank you!! 🥹💕 I actually started working on the Part 3 outline yesterday. I'm going to pull from some stuff from Book 3, like I mentioned, but some stuff I think I'm going to take my own spin on and hopefully close this out in 3ish more chapters? We'll see!! 😆😆 But thank you again for your encouragement and support! Hopefully "this version of canon" can keep meeting your expectations! 💜💜💜

BREAKING POINT - Part 1

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Reader

Summary: Russell made you a promise, but “getting out” of government contract work is even more difficult than he thought it would be. Is he willing to put the past aside, or is this going to be your breaking point?

AN: Welcome back to the Every Second Counts-verse! After the cliffhanger in Bubbly, I know you guys have been wanting this next part of their story. Get ready for a rocky ride — in two parts! 😅 (Also thank you again for all the birthday wishes. You guys are the best. 🥹💜)

Special thanks to the lovely Michelle - @luci-in-trenchcoats - for giving me tons of Tracker spoilers from the books that helped me shape the idea for BP! Both Michelle and Wayne - @waynes-multiverse have been incredibly encouraging and supportive in this one. 💚

Song Inspo: “Come in From the Night” by Chicago

Posted on Patreon: 3/28/2025

Word Count: 6.8K

Tags/Warnings: Fluff, angst, secrets and lies of omission, hints of Russell’s shady past, 2x02 events, and a twist…

⌖ Series Masterlist

Part 1: One Step Ahead of the Past

You paused in the middle of the grocery store aisle when you heard the thump. Yet another item dropped into the shopping cart.

You turned your head from the display of buy-one-get-one coffee brands and rose a brow at your boyfriend, trying not to smile.

“Uh, no. I don’t think so,” you said, grabbing the box of Zebra Cakes out of the cart.

“Aw, come on,” Russell implored.

“Babe, Dory and I call these cancer cakes. And you know what, for a guy who somehow keeps in like, Super Soldier-level shape, you’ve got a mega sweet tooth for all things junk,” you teased, and then smiled hard when he snaked an arm around your waist to try and distract you. You knew what he was really aiming for.

“Super soldier, huh?” A smirk curved his lips. “We talkin’ Captain America or Schwarzenegger?”

You laughed and tried to wiggle out of his grip. He had you trapped against the handles of the cart. He sneakily clawed a hand for the cartoonish black and white box of treats, but you held it just out of reach.

“If we have these in the house, you know I’m gonna eat them too, and it’s all just going to go straight to my ass, stomach, and thighs,” you quipped.

Russell hummed a kiss into your neck.

“I got no issue with that.” He squeezed your hips. “Just makes you softer to tenderize.”

A hot blush lit up your face, especially when an older lady gave you two some side-eye as she passed by with her cart. You bit your lip to temper your embarrassed smile, but you still reached back to pinch Russell’s side in retaliation. He just laughed and dodged your hand, ultimately wrapping his arms tighter around your waist.

“It’s true,” he whispered lowly in your ear.

“Hmph, I’m sure,” you replied in amusement. 

Despite your better judgment, you tossed the Zebra Cakes back into the cart and kept it pushing, literally. Russell’s pleased grin had you almost rolling your eyes. Yes, he knew how to play you like a fiddle.

You grabbed a couple packages of Gevalia coffee and continued down the aisle, but you didn’t realize that your shadow had disappeared. Russell caught up to you after a little while, withdrawing a peach cobbler from behind his back. It was from the bakery section. Another goddamn dessert?! And how’d he get over there and back so fast?

“I know I might be pushing my luck, but what about this guy for tonight?” he asked. “At least it’s homemade, right?”

You chuckled. “Yeah, homemade. Right from the factory that delivered it to the grocery store.”

But you sighed and relented on that one too, waving a dismissive hand. Eh, it’s on sale. Pick your battles, I guess.

Russell took that as consent to place the cobbler carefully next to the carrots, broccoli, and asparagus. He was slightly mollified by the bag of potatoes.

“That’s a lot of rabbit food,” he remarked.

“Oh yeah, and it’s gonna go great with the steaks tonight,” you sweetly replied. You knew the only way you were going to get him to eat said broccoli was if he had a slab of meat to go with it. Again, pick your battles. Your man was many things, but health-conscious wasn’t exactly one of them. It surprised you, considering he’d spent most of his life in the military.

“Heeeeell, yeah. With the special sauce, right?” he asked hopefully.

“Yes, with the special sauce,” you smirked.

And no, that wasn’t a euphemism.

Russell smiled, that one that crinkled the crow’s feet around his eyes. His hand fell to a comfortable place on the small of your back as he fell into step with you. It was his habit whenever you two went out together—a familiar hand on your hip, your waist, or brushing your hair back to massage the back of your neck. You liked the contact; the reminder that he was with you, and that he wanted to be.

But his touch fell away after you entered the cereal aisle. You did hear a short buzz, but you didn’t notice until you were almost at the end, halfway through asking if he wanted oatmeal or Fruit Loops. When you realized you were talking to empty air, you looked over your shoulder and saw Russell stopped in the middle of the aisle, staring down at his phone with knitted brows.

His attention was wholly on the screen, where a brief message held more weight than it should.

Are you in?

Russell kept digesting the words.  

“Russ?” you called to him, breaking him out of his reverie. “What’re you doing?”

Shit. He typed out a reply, and he sent it before he could think better of it. He pocketed his phone and caught up to you in a few of his long strides, his long hair bouncing along with him. His hand slipped around your waist and found purchase on a belt loop of your jeans. 

“So with our soon-to-be three course meal, what’cha thinking on a movie? Wanna watch Terminator again?” he proposed.

You rose a brow at three courses, but you skipped ahead to pushing back on said proposal. 

“God, no. We watched all six movies last weekend!” 

“Aw, come on, get to the choppah!” Russell invoked his best Arnold impression, prodding at your waist all the while. Never mind that the line was from Predator, not Terminator.

You flinched, and a giggle bubbled up in you on reflex as you swatted at his hand. You pushed the cart onward to the checkout counter. 

“All right, just the first one though,” you replied. “Then I want to watch Bridesmaids.”

He playfully groaned. “Gonna make me sit through another chick flick, huh?”

“Oh no. It’s hilarious,” you said with a snicker. “Though maybe it is better if we watch that one after dinner. There’s a scene with food poisoning from some sketchy-ass meat and…yeah. Anyway, you’ll like it, baby. I promise.”

Russell gave you an indulgent smile, but inside, he hid a guilty twinge. 

“What was your favorite thing to eat growing up?” you asked.

Russell was helping you unpack the groceries in the kitchen in a familiar routine. He’d been living with you for almost a year now, and still, little questions like this sometimes helped you get a window into the man.

Key word being sometimes, because even now, he considered your question with more uncertainty than it should warrant.

"You mean, uh, on the compound?" he asked.

"Sure." You'd take any brief spotlight into his childhood.

“Uh…kind hard to answer that one. We mostly ate whatever wild game we could catch,” he admitted. “A lot of rabbit. Which honestly wasn’t my favorite, but I learned to like it.”

He soon abandoned that thought to take out the peach cobbler from a grocery bag with a devilish cackle. You knew by the boyish look on his face that he’d be cutting at least two generous slices out of that one later.

“Maybe that explains why you’re such a foodie,” you wondered aloud. Because your man didn’t just like food. He was borderline obsessed with trying new spots with you, whether it was an upscale restaurant on the bougiest part of downtown, or a sketchy taco truck on the side of the freeway.

“Could be,” he acknowledged with a chuckle.

“What was it like having to hunt for your own food?” you asked. You’d studied history and ancient civilizations for both of your doctoral degrees, let alone your experience as a professor at Wyoming University, but studying hunter-gatherer communities was much different from having to learn how to survive for your next meal.

Russell set down the cobbler on the counter. He took advantage of the task of grabbing the vegetables next, handing them off to you so you could sort them the way you liked in the refrigerator.

“Wasn’t easy,” he said, “My dad was a taskmaster. And that wasn’t just about skinning rabbits and squirrels.”

You grimaced. “Squirrels too?!”

Russell nodded.

“We had these milestones…” he trailed, as the memory reappeared in his mind. “Heh. I remember being woken up and dragged out of bed in the middle of the night. Dad had me scale a cliff in almost pitch blackness. Couldn’t see the ground below me, could barely see a few inches above me. Was the day I turned thirteen years old.”

You paused what you were doing to meet his gaze. Jesus. Happy fucking Birthday, you thought, both in sarcasm and incredulous dismay.

Russell sighed and shook his head. He continued balling up empty grocery bags.

“That. That look right there,” he said, pointing at your face. “That’s why I don’t talk about this shit.”

You quickly recovered yourself and shut the fridge.

“I’m sorry, it’s just…” You turned to him and laid a hand on his forearm, sliding down to slip your hand into his. “I’ve given you the deep cuts, right? And my brother has no problem spilling all about my awkward teenage angst, and basically every embarrassing thing I’ve ever done since I was two. But with you, there’s still so much I don’t know, Russ. Not just about how you grew up, but about your life since then.”

Russell brushed his thumb over the back of your hand, but all he could really give you was a quirk of his lips.

“That’s classified,” he said, only somewhat joking.

“Look, I get that. I know there’s a lot you can’t tell me,” you said, “but give me the broad strokes, okay? Besides Doug, who have been the important people in your life? Where were you stationed? How many countries have you seen?”

Russell let out a deep breath. None of your questions had easy answers. He knew he needed to give you something, even if it was just broad strokes. But…he just couldn’t bring himself to look back anymore. There was too much tied to things he couldn’t, shouldn’t tell you. Mostly it was for your own safety, but selfishly, there were also things he didn’t want to let loose. If he did, maybe it would change the way you looked at him with those soft, loving eyes. 

“Look, maybe that’s not something we should get into tonight,” he said. 

 Your expression shifted into disappointment. You seemed to be making that face a lot lately, whenever he told you about another job out of town, whenever he didn't come home when he initially said he would, whenever he closed up on you.

But this time, you closed up on him.

“You know what, it’s been a long day. I think I’m feeling too tired to cook,” you said. You tossed the wad of empty grocery bags under the kitchen sink and passed by him on your way out of the room, and over to the bedroom.

Russell blinked in confusion. 

“Well, wait, what’re we gonna eat then?” he called after you.

“I don’t know. Make yourself a sandwich,” you said, just before he heard the door shut.

The loud thud made him sigh through his nose. He surveyed the ingredients you’d intended to cook with strewn across the kitchen counter and rubbed a hand over his bearded face. 

“Shoulda saved that conversation for after dinner,” he mused.

You and Russell were still at odds as you got ready for bed that night. After what happened in the kitchen, you cooled off for a bit. You did end up making the steaks and watching Terminator with him, but afterward, you went back to the bedroom to read by yourself, leaving him to watch old reruns of Seinfeld on TBS.

It was never really the same without you and your colorful commentary, or the way you often burrowed into his side and commandeered most of the couch. (He didn’t mind, long as he got to cop a feel every now and then.)

He could read you all too well though. He knew you were still mad at him.

He now eyed you in your silky negligée, which he thought you’d worn to bed on purpose just to torture him a little. It was the pretty purple one with lacy edges. He bought it for you while you two were on vacation in California a few months ago. 

Russell’s phone buzzing on his nightstand distracted him. He checked it before you had a chance to see what was on the screen. It was from his handler at Horizon, detailing a string of coordinates for his next gig—plus a ticket for his flight taking off in two days. Russell planned to tell you tomorrow after you cooled off a little more, though he knew it wasn’t going to be an easy conversation. 

He tried slipping into bed behind you and wrapping his arm around your waist, kissing your bare shoulder. He nosed past the thin strap of your nightgown and inhaled the pretty, floral scent of your soap…which he totally didn’t use himself.

“Nuh-uh,” you warned without even looking at him. It was a firm no on the touching, to which Russell exhaled and leaned back on his pillow, carding a hand through his hair. 

“Come on, baby. How long’re you gonna ice me out?”

“Until I actually know the man who’s in bed with me,” you snipped back testily.

“Hey, that’s not fair,” Russell said. He drew back in and kissed the side of your head, rubbing a hand down your shoulder. “You already know the important bits.”

“Oh, yeah? Like what?” you dryly replied. It was a struggle not to give into his touch, but this wasn’t the first time you two had a conversation, verging on argument about these things.  

He knew it all too well.

Still, he hesitated. Like what? How I’ve spent a long time doing what I’m told, and not a lot of asking questions. Probably not as much as I should’ve.

He shook his head. “I’m not gonna lie, I’ve seen a lot of shit that would blow your hair back. But even though my growing up was…unconventional, to say the least, it’s made me good at what I do. Most importantly though…” He pressed another gentle, lingering kiss into your neck. “This is where I want to be. You’re the one I wanna move forward with.”

He felt you take a long breath. He hoped it meant that you were hearing him, that you were softening.

“How are you going to do that when you’re away on another job?” you asked. 

Russell paused. 

You moved away from his hold and sat up in bed. He followed suit as he noted the look on your face, tired and upset. His brows furrowed, despite the prickle of guilt bubbling under his skin.

“What’re you talking about?” he said.

“Don’t even try it. I saw the coordinates pop up on your phone just now!” you snapped, and you make a sound of frustration, rubbing your face with both hands. “You promised me, Russell. You promised you’d be done with contract work months ago now. So what is it? Is it that you need more money for your brewery?”

Russell swallowed. The truth was, he’d made the target goal on his business account months ago, but he’d also found one reason or another to accept the last few jobs out of town. There was pressure from Horizon to stay on. They didn’t want to lose a valuable “contractor,” after all. But it was also his own unwillingness to give up the feeling of knowing exactly what he was doing, what he had been trained to do, and secretly, the way his work kept him on the edge. 

That flip in the stomach that forced him to make decisions in the breadth of a second? 

Well, it was a hard feeling to give up, and an even harder life.  

He rubbed a hand over his face with a tired sigh.

“Look, it’s more complicated than that,” he said. 

“You know what, I don’t think it is,” you shot back. “I think you’re a lot like Charlie, except this—this kind of work is your fix.”

The accusation stung like a hot iron poker. Russell opened his mouth to sling back a retort, even though he knew your aim was deadly when you wanted it to be.

You just turned away from him and shut off the light. 

In the morning, Russell woke to your side of the bed being cold and empty. It made him feel hollow, shitty, after the events of last night reared back up in his mind. 

He lied there between the sheets and listened. He could hear your familiar movements in the kitchen. Letting out a deep breath, he forced himself out of bed. 

After brushing his teeth and raking a hand through his messy bedhead, he cautiously approached the kitchen. Russell lingered in the doorway just outside of view. He found himself watching you putter around in your little nightgown, fuzzy slippers, and frizzy hair. Your fingers got tangled in it while your free hand grabbed the eggs from the fridge, your hip propping the door open. 

You’d made a pot of coffee and even set out his mug for him, as was your habit. Your own mug laid half-empty on the counter. His mug was somewhat special, though not just because it currently had a spoon resting inside it, ready for his sugar and cream.

You bought it for him last time you blew half your paycheck at Marshals; a home goods store he could rarely drag you out of within an hour. That mug featured all the major condiments, including sriracha, which was what made you think of him. It matched the sweatpants you found for him, covered in cartoony fries and burgers. 

They might’ve been silly gifts, but he liked that. He liked that you thought of him in the little things that somehow added up into the big things. They reminded him that you’d given him a chance. You’d given him home cooked meals, and let him make you a few too. You’d watched virtually every popular ‘90s movie that had ever been made with him—or at least, every one you thought he’d might like. You had a list of the 2000s to tackle next. 

You were an encouraging sounding board for him, whether it was talking about what he’d serve on the menu of his future brewery, brainstorming names, or even looking up what paperwork he would need to get started. You’d also been helping him navigate his relationship with Dory, and your brother Charlie, and even Colter, whenever Russell’s still admittedly distant relationship with his brother came up.

Russell washed your car and took out the trash and washed the dishes whenever you cooked, but standing here right now, it finally clicked just how much you actually did for him. How much you cared, and put your actions behind the caring part. You’d given him a place to come home to after decades in the service, and years more on the road.

Hell, you were his home. You and his sister.

But now, he realized why you were so upset. You thought he had one foot off of the firm foundation you were trying to build with him. You thought he wasn’t wanting to fully commit here, to you, and to the things he claimed he wanted. You were struggling to understand him.

So Russell entered the kitchen officially, padding in on sock-covered feet until he could slip his arms around you from behind. You stiffened in his grasp and turned to look at him over your shoulder. 

“Russ,” you warned, but he shook his head. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” he said. “You were right.”

You paused, allowing the fridge to close. Slowly you turned in his arms. You bit your lower lip and granted him a dubious gaze. Still, he counted it as a win when you tentatively held him back, slipping your hands over his biceps for stability. 

“About what?” you rose a brow in challenge.

“I’m gonna start shopping around for real estate here in Laramie, but first, I’m gonna start making moves on the business proposal for the brewery. Would you mind looking it over for me?” he asked. 

Your head tilted as you considered what he was saying, as well as what he wasn’t saying.

“But aren’t you…leaving?” 

“I’m not taking that job,” Russell said. “I’m calling Horizon today, tell ‘em I’m retiring. For good this time.”

It took a while, but his words seeped into your mind and settled there on the ocean floor. Tears began to sting in your eyes, but you nodded and reached up on your toes for a sweet, lingering kiss. You stroked his cheeks and slipped your fingers through his hair when you hugged him. He held you back just as tightly. 

He knew he hadn’t given you everything you asked for, but this felt like a good start.

Russell expected the call at some point, but half an hour was a new record. It was a Saturday, and he made sure you were busy in the laundry room before he took the call in your brother’s old room—AKA: Russell’s office. 

Charlie had been out of rehab for a few months now, rooming with Manny, one of his old unit buddies. Your brother agreed to leave the family house to you though, since you’d always been the stable one who could actually take care of the mortgage and the general upkeep of the house. Russell joined Charlie and his friends for beers every so often, either at Charlie’s apartment, or a new bar close to downtown. 

They traded stories and friendly fire at one another, Russell from his side of the branch in Special Ops, to Charlie and his friends in the Air Force. Dave and Manny could be especially loud-mouthed when tequila was involved, but Russell welcomed the good-natured ribbing with a few good pot shots of his own (he was still a little proud of “glorified flight attendants”).  

Now though, Russell held the phone to his ear and greeted the man on the other line.

“Hey, man. What’s up?” 

“What’s up?” Adam intoned. “‘What’s up’ is that you’re leaving us high and dry, Russ. What’s that about?” 

“Look, you know this was never a permanent gig for me,” Russell replied, speaking quietly just in case you were close by. “It’s high time I took a break, settled down, you know?”

Adam snorted. “You don’t have a civilian fucking bone in your body, Russell.”

“Well, that’s nice. I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

“Look, you’re the best man I ever worked with. The best CO I ever had. You pulled my ass outta the fire more times than I’d care to admit,” Adam said, “but you remember that last tour?”

Russell sobered. “You know I do.”

“And you remember what I had to do to get us out of that mess. Out of Nicaragua.”

Not like you’d ever let me forget it, Russell thought. Though it was nothing he didn’t see behind his eyes when he went to sleep.

“But when I got this gig, and they asked me who I’d recruit, you’re the first guy I thought of,” Adam said. “Well, you and Dougie. He fucking quit on me too.” 

Russell was happy for Doug. He and his wife just had their first baby a few months ago. One chunky little boy. 

“Look,” Russell said. “I’m grateful for…everything, you know that. But this is just something I gotta do. I’ve got other responsibilities now.”

“Yeah. How is your girl, huh? Been wanting to grab a beer with you, maybe get to finally meet her.”

Russell’s lips twitched. He didn’t talk about you as a rule, not to anyone in Horizon. Aside from Doug, Adam was the only one on the payroll who knew Russell’s real name, let alone about you. This was supposed to be a secure line though. 

“She’s waiting on me, Adam. Can’t keep doin’ that to her,” Russell replied. 

After a while, Adam sighed. 

“All right, Russ. I hear ya. I’m fucked, but I hear ya.”

“You’ll be fine,” Russell smirked. “You’ll find someone young and fresh off the meat market.”

Adam scoffed. “Right. These kids. Half of ‘em anxiety ridden pussies or juvie fucking flunkies. Can’t hack even half the shit we went through in basic, let alone eight months in Baghdad.”

That led into familiar territory. Russell shot the shit with his old friend for a few more minutes before he finally let Adam go. The phone hung from Russell’s hand after, and he expelled a sigh. He felt a twinge of regret, like he was letting go of hell of a lot more. 

After he left home and enlisted, it didn’t just become his life. It became who he was. Both his body and his mind were shaped by the structure of the chain of command, the mission, the follow-through. Muscle-memory.

Putting that aside had been harder than he imagined. After all, what the hell was he, if not a soldier?

Russell wrestled with that question longer than he cared to admit. It even had him getting up from his desk to consult a glass of bourbon he kept on the bookshelf. 

…It’s for the best, he reasoned. 

Even now, Russell didn’t get to see his little sister as often as he liked. Their work kept them moving in different directions, her busy teaching schedule not often gelling well with his more unpredictable one. But today, a Tuesday, he was taking her to lunch between classes.

She stopped short in the doorway of her office.

“Oh! Damn, I forgot…”

She meant to invite you too, but when she took her cell phone out to call you and see if you were busy, Russell laid a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s okay, she already knows I’m here,” he said. “But you and I are long overdue for some brother-sister time.”

Dory hesitated, but at his grin, she smiled back brightly and put her phone away. “Okay, then. Where do you want to go?”

He took her to a nearby café you told him about. It was one you and Dory frequented at least once a week, either for coffee and pastries, or for a nice protein bowl.

“Why is everything a damn bowl nowadays? They’re all just trying to be Chipotle,” Russell groused, but he ate his bowl of wild rice, steak, and arugula salad with just as much gusto as a carton of Chinese fried rice. He polished it off with a beer and tried to stifle his belch.

Dory rose a brow, but after a beat, she couldn’t hold in a laugh.

“Well, doesn’t seem to bother you that much,” she remarked. Her amusement slid into a teasing smirk. “Matter of fact, looks like you've been eating well since you started shacking up with my best friend.” 

Russell grinned around the lip of his beer. "What're you tryin' to say, D? You fat-shaming me right now?"

"Aw, I wouldn't go that far," she laughed. "You just look like you're settling in to this civillian thing."

Russell smirked. He couldn't argue with her. According to you, he was in super soldier shape. Still, he knew you were being a little too generous. He had softened around the pouch a little since he’d stopped moving around from motel to motel, no time to get comfortable, as he was now. His hard work was also looking different these days—sitting at his desk or on the couch with his laptop. He wasn't a complete sloth though; he still worked out on the regular.

“Gotta admit, she keeps me well-fed,” he said. Though there was no mistaking the glint in his eye, or the waggling of his brows. Dory snorted and shook her head. 

“Please, I don’t wanna hear about any of that. It’s bad enough I had to endure the beginning stages when you two couldn’t be in a room together without eye-fucking each other. Or sneaking off into a public restroom at our work Christmas party—to actually fuck each other.”

Russell spluttered a laugh into his beer, making a slosh of amber liquid run down his shirt. Dory smirked and handed him an extra napkin. He coughed and blotted out most of the stain himself, but gave her an accusatory look through his amusement. 

“You guys seem to be doing well though,” Dory said, her eyes softening along with her smile. “She told me that you finally quit Horizon.”

He rose a brow and set down the empty beer. “Finally?”

“Well, sorry, but she’s not the only one who worries about you, you know?” Dory grabbed her brother’s hand. “It’s been good to have you around this past year, getting to know you again. It feels like having a bit of home back.”

Russell smiled ruefully, squeezing her hand.

“Thought you didn’t like to think about all that.”

“It wasn’t all bad,” she admitted. Her head tilted in thought. “I remember, you used to sing to me whenever I couldn’t fall asleep.”

His mouth twitched, his eyes softening.

“Couldn’t blame you. That place made some weird-ass sounds at night,” he replied, though he sighed deeply through his nose. “You were just a kid.”

“So were you, Russ,” Dory reminded him. 

He held her gaze for as long as he could stand. Eventually, he lowered his eyes. He released her hand and went back to polishing off the flourless chocolate cake she’d ordered for dessert. 

“That night…you really recognized the man Dad was talking to?” Dory asked after a while.

Russell was a little surprised she was bringing that up, but he nodded slowly. 

“I did, but hell. That was twenty years ago.”

She bit her lip. “I still can’t believe Colter thought you…”

“That’s in the past too,” Russell said, his tone even more dismissive.

Hmm. Protesting a little too much, Dory thought.

“Did you ever tell her?” she asked.

They both knew who she meant. You.

“She knows the main bits, but you’re asking if I told her how our brother thought I killed Dad?” Russell scoffed. “No. Didn’t think that little footnote would go over well.”

Dory stared back at him with concern in her blue eyes. She didn’t like keeping things from you, even if it wasn’t her secret to tell. Unfortunately, her family had a lot of secrets.  

“It’s not worth getting into, D,” Russell said. “That, or any of it…though I don’t know. I don’t think Colter’s ready to let it go. He believes me now, but he wants to know who got to Dad, and why. He’s tenacious, I’ll give him that.”

Unlike Colter, it seemed, Russell had an image of his father that had lasted in his mind. It wasn’t a good one. 

Paranoid son of a bitch. 

Russell couldn’t really blame Colter though. He was young when they were taken to the compound. He probably didn’t remember his friends, the house, the way they lived before. 

Russell had been ten years old. He remembered being on the baseball team doing well as a pitcher, and having to lie to his coach and quit the team. Russell remembered saying goodbye to his best friend, Randy, who he never saw again. Russell remembered having to lock up his tears and help his mom take care of his younger siblings, and make sure they were settling into a musty old cabin in the middle of the woods. 

“I’ve tried looking into it before,” he admitted.

Dory’s brows raised. “When?” 

He waved a dismissive hand. “A long time ago, when I had government access to some things. Got a whole lot of nadda.”

“No good is going to come of it, and I told Colter the same thing,” Dory said, shaking her head. “Whatever happened, it’s better if we all just move on.”

She continued eating. After a beat of hesitation, Russell followed suit.  

A couple of weeks later, Russell felt like he’d made good progress. He narrowed down his search to three different spots in downtown that were up for leasing, though one of them was a bit too close to Howley’s for your comfort, which meant he really had two options. Both were walkable, but one had more parking availability, while the other was a better price for the amount of interior square footage. It was a lot to consider.

You’d given him the number of a good commercial realtor you knew, thanks to your boss, Dr. Goldstein. Looked like that stuffed suit was good for something, other than piling his work onto your plate so he could get his monthly back wax. 

You were still at work on a Thursday when Russell’s phone rang. He quirked a brow at the caller ID, but a grin tugged at his lips when he answered. 

“Well hey there, Ms. Greene.”

“Russell, where are you right now?”

“Chillin’ at home. Working through some stuff on my new business venture. Though if the next question’s ‘What am I wearing,’ I gotta remind you that I’m happily off the market,” he teased.

“And thank God for that,” Reenie dryly remarked. “Listen, I need your help. Actually, I think Colter needs you.”  

He detected the urgency in her voice now, and he sobered. 

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“I don’t know, but I need you to find him. He’s been missing for over 24 hours.”

“Looks like I’m gonna be a little late for dinner,” Russell told you over the phone. "Uh, okay, maybe a lot late."

“What? It’s kind of hard to hear you. Do you have the top down on the Chevelle?”

“She’s a Chevelle Malibu, baby. Well, technically, Malibu for short—”

“Russell, what’s going on?”

“It’s nothing to worry about. Reenie called, and it looks like Colter might be in a hard spot. I just need to go help him out,” he replied. Really, he was fighting his worry as he pressed his foot a bit harder on the gas. The sleek Chevy flew down the highway at a speed that would make you hit his arm, if you were here. 

“Why does it sound like you’re giving me the kitty gloves version?” you asked him in suspicion. 

Russell smiled ruefully. This was why he loved you—for your mind. 

“Again, nothing to worry about. I’ll be home by the morning…probably.”

He heard your heavy sigh. 

“Okay, Russ. Just be careful, please.”

“Hey, you know me. I’m always careful.”

“Right,” you snorted. 

The curve of his lips kicked up into a grin. “I gotta let you go, but I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah, okay…I love you.” 

His face softened a fraction. “Love you too, sweetheart.”

You hung up with your boyfriend and slipped your phone back in your purse. An undercurrent of worry churned in your stomach. You knew Russell was downplaying whatever was really going on. Reenie wouldn’t call him for help unless Colter was really in trouble, or else why wouldn’t she call the police? 

That rewardist work that Colter did, it had led him into some shady shit, according to Dory, like insidious cults, serial killers, and corrupt politicians. She talked to Colter now more than she used to, but even then, she knew he wasn’t giving her the whole story about most of his adventures. 

Must be a Shaw family trait, you thought sourly. 

With Dory on your mind, you decided to call her up and make tonight a girls’ night. You hung out at her apartment after work, splitting a bottle of wine and several orders of Mexican takeout while watching reruns of New Girl. 

“Where do you think they are right now?” Dory asked, for a moment sobering from laughing at Jess’s antics. 

You had your glass of wine poised to your lips in thought. “I don’t know, but I do know Russ wasn’t telling me the whole truth. I think Colter’s in trouble.”

Dory worried her lip. It clearly didn’t sit well with her that both of her brothers were MIA right now. You tried calling Russell earlier for a check-in, but his phone went straight to voicemail. Colter’s number didn’t even ring. It was just a dial tone, with a disembodied voice saying this number has been disconnected.

But there was nothing you two could do. Reenie had advised you to sit tight and wait for one of them to check in. 

“You know, I may not understand them sometimes, but it makes sense to me why they are the way they are,” she said. “They had it worse than me growing up, either because I was the youngest or because I was the only girl.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, though you had a feeling you knew where she was going with this. 

“I remember, Dad used to make them sleep outside sometimes. Somewhere in the middle of the damn woods, without supplies, without food,” Dory said. She actually began to tear up, her blue eyes turning pale and glassy. “I heard him and my mom arguing about it once. Finally he agreed to go out there and watch out for them—from a distance though, so they wouldn’t know he was there.”

You stared back at her in dismay. That hurt your heart so fucking deep. No wonder Russ didn’t want to open up about this shit. How can I blame him? How can a father…

You shook your head, resting a hand on her arm. 

“But why? Why did your dad do all this? Russell said he was paranoid, but…what was he running from?” you asked.

“We don’t know,” Dory admitted. After a moment, she looked over at you and held your gaze. “All that we did know, was that his death wasn’t an accident.”

That revelation shocked you. Your mouth parted, though no words escaped. 

Dory set down her wine and got up from the couch. Then, with a certain decision weighing in her eyes, she went over to her room. 

“D?” you questioned. “You’re just gonna drop a fucking bomb like that on me and walk away?!”

Not getting an answer, you rose to follow her, where you watched in bewilderment as she dug into the recesses of her closet until she found a plain white shoebox. It was just some old cardboard, frayed at the corners, but Dory hesitated to even open it. 

“What are you doing? What is that?” you asked.

“A few years back, a family friend gave this to me. Apparently it has some of my dad’s old stuff,” she said. “I’ve never wanted to go digging through it because I wanted to leave the past behind me. I think it’s been easier for me to say that, but not so easy for Colter and Russell.”

After a beat of hesitation, she handed the box over to you. 

“Would you give this to Russell when he gets back?” she asked. “He can do whatever he wants with it. Look inside, try to piece together what happened, or just burn it all. Either way, I’m done. As far as I’m concerned, my dad wasn’t really my dad after he took us to live in that place. And my mom…” She laughed humorlessly. “She was no saint either. She went along with everything my father did.”

You took the box from her with some concern. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Honestly, I don’t even like having it here. It’s just a…bad reminder.”

You rubbed a hand over her arm in comfort. "You guys never went to the police?"

Dory shook her head. "Mom didn't trust anyone, least of all the police. She probably thought it was safer for us."

"God, I'm sorry," you said. After a beat, you set down the box and pulled Dory into a hug. She rested her chin on your shoulder and squeezed her eyes tight for a second.

"It's okay," she said. "...It's in the past." 

Sure, you thought. But there were some scars that didn't fade, no matter how much you ignored them, banaged them, or tried to soothe them.

You took the box and left her apartment shortly after. She offered to let you stay the night so you wouldn’t be alone, but you declined. Russell installed a state-of-the-art security system in your house, making it feel like the safest place in the world to you. That was where you’d be able to sleep tonight, even with this mysterious old shoebox.  

The drive back was devoid of traffic this late at night, but after what happened with Eddie Mendez last year, you always felt uneasy driving alone at night. A good part of you was also still trying to digest all of this.

On one hand, you could understand Colter and Russell wanting to know what happened to their father. If Ashton was murdered, the reason could explain everything they went through growing up. 

With all of these thoughts rattling through your mind, you couldn’t even be completely relieved when you pulled into the driveway of your home. You walked into the house quickly, shut the door, and input the code to lock everything behind you.

Holding your purse on one shoulder and the box under your other arm, your first instinct was to find a good hiding place for it. You began to wonder if you should’ve accepted it from Dory at all. If her father’s death was no accident, then what was he killed for?

But…Dory had this thing in her closet for all this time without incident. Surely there was nothing diabolical about it. Ashton Shaw had been a professor too, right? It probably just held some keepsakes, a few old essays, some paperclips and 20-year-old dust bunnies…

You found a place in the house that a burglar would be unlikely to look for something valuable (again, really, what kind of burglar would want to steal a shoebox of old junk?), and you took a deep, calming breath in the middle of your living room. 

You still hadn’t been able to get in touch with Russell. All your texts had been going unanswered. You grabbed your phone and began to find Reenie in your contacts, but you paused. You were reminded of something you forgot to do when you walked in the door. 

Along with the coded door lock, there was an app on your phone where you could monitor the cameras strategically placed outside the house. However, when you checked the app, you realized that the camera feed said Unavailable. For every single camera. 

Your brows furrowed. That’s weird… 

Seconds later, the first bullet broke through your impact windows. 

AN: 🫣 Oh sorry, did I not mention there was a cliffhanger? You can rant and scream in the comments, it's totally fine. 😂

As you can see, we're in the middle of 2x02, with my own twist on some things around it. Plus some material from the books making it into this part - and more heavily implied in the next part - coming next Sunday!

Next Time:

While the phone rang, tucked between your shoulder and your ear, you were forced to set down the gun. With trembling hands, you quietly rifled through your medicine cabinet for gauze or an ace bandage. Fuck, yes! Okay. This could work. You found the big square bandages that stick on. Russell bought them the last time he came home with a couple of nasty abrasions from a job.

Still, the phone rang.

Come on, come on, come oooon!

“Hello?” The lawyer’s voice was smooth and retaining a note of exasperation.

“Reenie! Where’s Russell?” you whisper-hissed.

“I have him right here. What’s wrong?” she asked. Immediately, her tone shifted to concern. You’d never met Reenie in person, but you knew she worked with Colter and, according to Russell, was damn good at what she did. 

You didn’t give a shit about any of that right now.

“Put him on the phone, please!” 

In a few seconds of shuffling, you finally, finally heard his voice. 

“Sweetheart, what’s going on?”

A breath of relief escaped you in a rush.

“Russell,” you sobbed.

⌖ Keep Reading: PART 2

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[fatuismooches]

I saw ur response about that arranged marriage au with Capitano and i can't stop myself from laughing just thinking about his soldier teaching him "How To Communicate with Your Lover 101" 😂

Like, imagine his soldiers asking him to demonstrate of how he usually express his love to reader 🤣 so, one of the fatui soldier decided to act as "his lover" and.. Oh boy, it went REALLY awkward bcs he just *STARES* at them like he is a monster staring into their prey's soul 😭

When they ask Capitano about it "..my lord, is that your way of expressing your affection towards your lover every single day?" and when he said yes, all of them just facepalm'd so hard and internally screaming "HOW THE HECC YOU EVEN THINK THAT AS 'SHOWING AFFECTION'-" 💀😭 Dear Tsaritsa, he has a long way to go.

I feel bad for the soldier tho, imagine u have to deal with so many things since u are a Fatui and then u have to help ur Captain with his love problems 😭

I'm sorry if this is messy but omg Smooches thank u for feeding me more Capitano brainrot bcs god... i REALLY want him so bad 😭😭 I hope u are doing well and have a great day! 💓🙏🛐

-🥝

RAHHHH I LOVE THIS!!! Fatui soldiers being the best wingmen for their boss. + If we think about it there's probably a book in Tevyat related to couples communication/advice 101, the soliders probably tell him that it might be more helpful than them (they're not sure how much longer they can last in this conversation) Capitano ends up purchasing multiple and now he reads them alone in his office and internally he thinks "damn couples actually do this? i messed up 😭 they hate me now 😭"

That poor soldier, being in the Captain's presence is already hard enough but having him standing in front of you, staring into the depths of your soul without a word?? They're not sleeping tonight. And now the soldiers have an amazing story to tell around the campfire at least, the time the 1st Harbinger demonstrated his ways of affection in front of them.

And he just keeps staring until one of the soldiers has the courage to interrupt and ask him if that's really how he shows affection and Capitano just... nods like it's normal. And now Capitano is not an idiot because he can still clearly see how his soldiers are scratching their heads awkwardly and sending each other strange looks, and he immediately knows that this was not a good demonstration in the slightest. He would just clear his throat and be like "ahem. apologies for wasting your time. back to training." And then the soldiers would honestly feel bad and throw him a little advice like "sir, maybe you should gift them something nice to show your appreciation for them." 🥺 "or perhaps lord capitano, maybe a letter would be nice!"

Though these good ideas he's still a bit lost, because 1. he doesn't know what you like very well, and he doesn't want to accidentally gift you something bad. But then he realizes he can just ask the attendants! Yes, this is going good. As for the letter... he wonders what he should ask you. Are you doing well? Normally these are questions you ask someone in person, especially since you two live in the same house... but you seem to be a bit on edge while he's around. Maybe writing it down will be easier for you too! Hopefully you'll respond.

No thank YOU for feeding me this omg you make me love Capitano 1000000x more ily 💖💖 I hope you're doing well too 🥝 anon mwah!

[yanteetle]

💕💞💓💌

I love what you're doing. Please, never stop being yourself. A lot of us appreciate you silently, and I just felt the need to tell you that I adore you and everything you've worked hard for. You're amazing, shoot for the stars. Have a nice day/night, Teets. (sorry, I'm not good with words.)

You after telling me the most beautiful, heart wrenching, show stopping, mind blowing, emotionally wrecking, glorius, masterful, precious and heartwarming ask ever: sorry I'm not good with words 😗

Like OLLIE NO- this made my day a million times better!! I'm not even kidding, I had to do a double take when I checked my inbox today because I was THAT surprised you sent me such a sweet ask!! Thank you Olliee, this means the world to me! 😭❤️❤️ I adore you and your work, and I can confirm you my friend Saki loves your work just as much! I really appreciate being able to get asks like these, they really keep me going and I'm honoured to receive this from you! ❤️ Please have a nice day Ollie, take care and please have more faith in your writing! You're doing amazing sweetie, don't give up!

[svnoohe4rts]

i cried. no, im still crying. I WOKE UP AND THE FIRST THING I READ WAS BED OF LIES PT 4 AND MY EYES ARE BURNING SJDJENDKSJDJD i hope you know that your writing is incredible, out of this world, FUCKING AMAZING. you dont disappoint, AT ALL. if no one says it to you today, or whenever, IM PROUD OF YOU FOR BEING ABLE TO FINISH IT. you did so well and YOU FINISHED IT AMAZINGLY. loved the ending, i loved it all. so so proud of you and really, theres so much rollercoaster of emotions from the first chapter to the last. i cant??? I CANT. idw to stop saying that im proud of you bc I GENUINELY AM SO PROUD OF YOU. thank you so much for this amazing story, ill read it over and over again and ill never get tired of it. i cant wait for more smuts/fluffs/angst from you, ill read everything. thank you for taking your time and energy to write bed of lies, appreciate you so much 😭😭😭🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

STOP UR GONNA MAKE ME CRY I’M SO SORRY FOR MAKING U CRY FIRST THING IN THE MORNING 💔💔

this is probably the sweetest thing anyone has ever told me. i am so so happy u enjoyed reading the whole fic & i’m so thankful for the amount of support i’ve received from u sweetheart </3 i can’t thank u enough for telling me ur proud of me, i almost burst into tears when i first read it LIKE ACTUALLY words cannot explain how thankful i am for u, i don’t think u understand the impact ur words have on me 💞

i doubt i’d be able to finish writing this fic if it wasn’t because of all the encouragement and love i’ve received so i should be the one thanking u, i can’t thank u enough like actually 💔 I’M SO BAD AT EXPRESSING MY FEELINGS I’M SO SORRY i just want u to know that this message means more than u think,, thank u from the bottom of my heart 💓💓💓

i love u & once again, thank u for always supporting and encouraging me. i appreciate u more than u could ever know 🫶🫶

[kpophubb]

hi honey 🕊💌

first thank you for your warmest words and kindness , you aren’t late I send it today in between my sessions 📖🥺🥹😭❤️

I’m so happy for you <3 congratulations 🎉, hope you can follow your dream and become someone you want to be ~ plus I wish you a lot of positive experiences 🥰💪🏻🎉 👩🏻‍⚕️

Ukraine 😔 I miss everyone so much , I miss my home 🏡 my dog ( I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to go there back one day and if it’s not ruined by weapons and bombs .😣😞

I really appreciate your support , like so much that tbh it feels unreal ❤️

Today I’m having a very hard day I haven’t been crying for about 2 weeks I think , as long as I can remember, but today I did like 4 times (( thank you for kind words , I actually took a screenshot to read them again 🥺💝

Today I was sitting and thinking that I’m so tired .. I’m so exhausted always looking for acceptance , always expecting ppl to be nice to me, like same I am to them..

I’m enfj and I think it’s the most insecure type of all of them I read the profile and it says I’m always looking for acceptance , validation and praise from others … and that’s true , I don’t know what kind of creature -freak am I ? .. z, feeding and living literally for others approval 😔

Did you name your niece ?:) I guess you might have some family business going on but ! Don’t worry posting ff late , pls STAY day is on august 3 heh omg 🤧🥰😍🥰

Also don’t forget about your own happiness and well being , I hope you are surrounded with support and love ☺️😇😍

Have you got any other dreams recently ?

What books 📚 have you bought?

Could you pls put a link somewhere for that fic with hy + sunghoon? So it’s easier for me to find 🥲💓

Todays song recommendation , also feel free to share smth with me🤗💖

Good night & have a nice day / morning , everything that you are having atm. Sending hugs. And I love YOU TOO🥺🥹💗

~ 🐁 anonie:)

Hi anonie 😭🥺💕🤧 first of all the jakey heart pics omg🫠🤧 (hit me right in the gut and heart) and our baby riki pic 💝🥹 aaah the greatest start to a message! Ahh it must be quite devasting right?:( like you’ve suddenly been thrown into a nightmare and everything feels so so foreign and frustrating. There’s no guarantee if you’ll ever be able to go to your country/home back and I picture you feeling so lonely. *pats on the shoulder* please stay strong. And keep working towards finding a new home, focusing on jobs for now. Life sometimes gets so unpredictable and it feels like everything’s over and you’ve lost, but a bad turn doesn’t mean you’ve hit a dead end. New doors always open and it’s very tough at the start but later on, you will reach a beautiful destination I promise. 💓 and I am literally an enfj too? My personality is a mix of ENFJ and ENFP. So I understand what you’re talking about. We’re very loyal and people’s person and that’s why it easily affects us when we’re not kindly treated by those around us. And getting other’s people approval/acknowledgment makes us feel so valid. But truth is, I adjusted myself to the reality of this world long time back. Not everyone is gonna be nice to you or be grateful to you no matter how nice you are to them or how much you help them. It’s some people’s nature. That doesn’t mean you have to stop being a nice and kind person to everyone around you. Just try to give without expecting anything in return ok? That’s how I’ve trained my mindset and I’m able to be happy now no matter what. As for the validation thing, I am not a confident person either and I have high self doubts and anxiety. I feel like I’m not good enough in a lot of cases and I often seek approval from others around me BUT I have changed that (and am still trying to) I have decided to be my own cheerleader. I tell myself that I’m worth it, I’m doing my best, I am enough etc. I find my spirits and acknowledgement from ME MYSELF. Bc think of it this way. No one knows your efforts more than you or god, so why do u let others who haven’t seen how hard you tried tell u that you’re bad/good at something? Don’t give anyone that right. To hold authority over how you feel about yourself my love. 💞 and don’t criticise yourself for being this way. There’s nothing wrong in yearning for others’ affection or approval or attention. Human beings were always created to be with eachother, no human being can exist alone. It’s how we were made by default.

And yes I did name my niece haha her name was decided even before she was born😆! Ill show u all the books directly when they arrive- reading books give me all this maturity since they’re always about young adult/slice of life/romance. Here is the link to my most favourite songs by bebe rexha that helped me so much in my rough times.( I’m a mess , sabotage , empty ) And ofc the link to my two fan fictions that involve hyunjin x sunghoon crossovers! (When you fangirl too much over another idol) & (when they find out their crush is dating another idol )

As of now I don’t have any other dreams 😛 apart from making tons of precious memories that I’ll be able to take with me for the next chapter of my life. Binge read books, Netflix dramas and animes, watch kpop comebacks and ofc go out with my best friend! 👯💞 I am friendly with almost everyone but I have only one best friend! Piece of advice to you: be friendly and nice with everyone but let only a few people get close to your heart. Since we get hurt easily and expect easily, don’t let your heart break by letting too many people in. 💘 have an even better day, much love & warm hugs! 🤗❤️

[maiverie]

SHUT THE FUCK UP I CAME BACK ON THE BEST DAY EVER… MAI WHAT IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY? APRIL 6TH? I’LL NOTE THAT DOWN RN 📝 HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY HOLY SHIT!!! DUDE YOU’RE LITERALLY THE OLDEST BUT MOST CHILDISH PERSON EVER (BUT I LOVE THAT)!! I LITERALLY LOVE YOU BESTFRIEND.

Jokes aside, I’m really sorry I haven’t been active and there to support you. :( Maybe when the holidays come around? I’ll pretty much be back on track and updating everything. BUT MAI. You have always been there for me, dead or not and I’m so thankful I could find someone as kind and caring as you are. AHHH YOU ARE LITERALLY A WALKING SHINY STAR AND YOU MAKE MY WORLD BRIGHTEN UP EVEN WITH A SINGLE WORD! Your existence itself just makes me jump in excitement every time I hop onto this app. YOU are the reason why I even come back from time to time, honestly. Although I wish I could provide you a better gift than writing to you in your inbox but I hope you take my words for granted because I mean EVERY, I mean EVERY word that I state in this. Iseriously, seriously, seriously, SERIOUSLY hope you have the best 21st (?) ever my beloved, I love you so much. GET SPOILED LOADS!! I’LL SHIP AN ALBUM (AND MYSELF) OVER WHEN I CAN 😈 🤍

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SELEENAAAAAA NAURRRRRRRRR IM LITERALLY SO DEPRESSED AB MY BIRTHDAY DONT EVEN TALK TO ME ISUCKEJC I HATE IT HERE IM ACTUALLY FUCKING ANCIENT 💀AND STOP THIS I LITERALLY LOVE U SM????? ICB WE’RE FRIENDS LIKE IM SO GLAD WE MET THRU TUMBLR AND WHAT ARE THE FUCKING CHANCES URE FROM AUS TOO 😭😭💗💗💗 ITS FATE ME THINKS

OMFG NOOO DONT APOLOGISE???? 😭 omg school is actually wild these days so i totally understand r u kidding :(( DONT WORRY AB ME BESTIE PLS TAKE CARE OF URSELF??? ILYSM U LITERALLY ALWAYS MAKE ME SMILE WHEN U COME ON TUMBLR AND STOP IM LITERALLY SOFT RN DONT TELL ME U COME AROUND HERE BC OF ME IM GNA CRY 😭😭😭💔💔💔 URE ACTUALLY WILD I LOVE UR ENERGY SM YOURE SO FUNNY AND FUN TO CHAT W I APPRECIATE U SM WORDS CANNOT EXPLAIN :((( you’re actually the best person ever,,, i just know everybody in ur life loves u bc how could they not :<<<< the way u just brighten up everything??? 😭

NAUR BC I WILL DEADASS SHIP U SMTH ONE DAY??? OR PLS COME TO BRISSY???? jokes watch me rock up to syd 😈 ILYSM FR :(( SO GLAD TO HAVE U IN MY LIFE 😭💗💕💖💞💓💕