#the handle at the end is the name of my yt channel

[secondstar-acorn]

one thing about me is I will always learn a new skill to make a deranged idea come true

anyway it’s arthur + manchild

[ambrosius-art]

The oc I started my yt channel on!! Everest Crystallia, twisted from elsa, most of these I drew months ago except the one with the bow in his hair, I’m still tweaking his design.

info:

Name: Everest Crystallia 

ethnicity: French/African/Norwegian

Birthday: December 21st

age:17

Height: 5'6 (5'9 in heels)

Gender: Male

Appearance: Considerably tall with heels on, he has a dark shade of brown skin, similar to those of the people of the Frost fire fjords. Some of his most alluring features include his hair and eyes. his hair is a naturally glittery frost blonde, white hair with a slight reflective sheen to it, to which he usually wears down in a side part with a French braid on the side and light curls on the end. His eyes are an icy blue crystalline hue with iridescent flecks almost mimicking the aurora borealis northern lights and dark blue pupils. he is usually seen wearing a darker neutral brown or light cold blue eyeshadow with glitter and slightly pink tinted lip-gloss. He also has a lithe, statuesque dainty, yet lean figure with slightly pointed ears.

Family: Augustus Crystallia (younger brother by 3 years) Anruin Crystallia (father) Eisvea Crystallia (mother)  Elrynora Winterheart (great grandmother)

Likes: Singing, violin, dancing, fencing, strutcure.

Dislikes: loud voices when not singing, messy rooms, warm environments.

fears: Uncertainty, Disappointment

Magic: Just like most eldest children of his long Crystallia heritage Everest inherited the ancient ice magic of his ancestors, said to be tied to the snow queen herself. though, coming from a long line of ice fae's since he is half human inheriting ancient ice magic this resulted in him having the rare condition that is Overmagic. Overmagic is a condition to which a person is born with more mana than their body can handle. Having this condition has caused Everest multiple side effects, such as his eye color, the sheen on his hair, and his below normal body temperature and most of his spells having high blot production. as a child due to his condition, he was on strict notice to always have gloves on or some sort of hand covering to keep his magic in controllable parameters, otherwise he ends up freezing most everything he touches, due to these restrictions he refrains from using his magic altogether and is always in a constant state of holding himself back.

Signature spell; "Eternal winter": allows Everest to change the season to winter within a specified radius of his choosing, though the drawbacks are high blot production and that the winter season gets more severe the more negative his emotions 

Homeland: Frostfire fjords

Year: second

Club: Fencing team

Best subject: kingdom management

Personality and background: Everest is an award-winning teen idol, running for 4-5 years and also the crown prince and heir to the throne of Frostfire Fjords. He is the polar opposite from his younger brother, always appearing calm, regal, mature, reserved and said to be very generous and unintentionally controlling over his citizens though in person viewed to be somewhat cold, withdrawn and shy. his personality takes on a new appearance when in the public eye, appearing very graceful, demure, and somewhat flamboyant at times. However, during his childhood shortly after he had turned 8 years old his parents tragically died out at sea during a diplomatic trip, causing Everest to become more reserved, insecure, and reclusive over the years, the stress of trying to partially run a kingdom made him become isolated, severely damaging his relationship with his younger brother. He constantly keeps up a front, always hiding his true intentions and thoughts about others to please everyone, but beneath his cold regal exterior lies an insecure, overthinking child, itching for the chance to be free without the restrictions of constant expectations.

Fun facts: Frostfire Fjords and Briar valley are longtime kingdom allies through in the conflict with Bladevale and Briarvelley Frostfire fjords remained completely neutral and isolated from the wars, only providing minor support. due to this allyship once Lilia found out about Everest's parents' tragic demise, he volunteered to babysit Everest and Augustus occasionally, explaining how Everest refers to Lilia as "Uncle Lilia". This also explains how he is well acquainted with Malleus, Silver, and Sebek.

Everest is the best-known Ice mage in the world though he purposely conceals his magic and rarely demonstrates it outwardly.

Everest was once the young vice head of the royal choir and opera of Frostfire fjord's. He was the highest Sparano, explaining his high and vast vocal range.

Everest during his first year at NRC used to be enrolled in the Pomefiore house, where he studied under his idol and mentor Vil Schoenheit, but the next year he transferred and became Housewarden of CryoVain after finding out how strict Vil really is.

Everest can sometimes enter a state where he allows his magic and fae traits to manifest and somewhat even take over in order to control his magic better. In this state his appearance changes slightly with icy blue glittery gradients appearing on his hands and feet as well as ice fractals appearing on his forehead, cheeks, shoulders, hands, and neck.

Everest's Crystallia bloodline is said to be direct descendants of the snow queen.

Everest has a terrible habit of thinking things and not saying them, this habit ranges from bottling up certain feelings to even forgetting to respond when people speak to him.

Idia has actually been to multiple of Everest's concerts and had even paid for backstage passes once.

later in the main story it is revealed that Everest keeps a journal/diary of sorts where he writes his knit picks and dislikes about those he sees, he writes a page almost every night.

Everest with his unique alignment of features is said to be one of the somewhat most beautiful students in Nrc and in mainstream media, though he is usually seen to be less when compared to Vil or Neige

People I ship him with and why:

Jamil: Everest would often relate to Jamil's feelings of having to hold yourself back because of outside circumstances yet wanting to test your limits and see your own power grow. Everest would also bond with Jamil for their shared love for dancing and choreography.

Malleus: Everest, since growing up with him wouldn't fear him and would possibly relate to his isolation and being overly powerful. They would also bond since Everest makes a point to invite malleus to all house warden meetings he attends.

Silver: having both practically grown up together they would already have a proper foundation for such relationships, Everest would also come to admire Silver's drive for becoming a knight. 

also make sure to sub to my yt channel @Ambrosius_art on youtube

also CryoVain is a dorm I created off of frozen, I get that Elsa is tecnically a protagonist but she was meant to be a villain and hans is boring af and less iconic.

[lil-melody-moon]

Wow, so you have quite a history with Final Fantasy!

I don't have as much experience with video games, tbh--my mom didn't allow us to have any consoles or any computer games unless they were educational--so any video games I played as a kid were at friends' houses. (I did play a lot of online Flash games though!) Back when I had a stepfamily, I used to play video games with them a lot, though! I'd play anything from Super Smash Bros to Just Dance, as long as it was always a little silly. Nowadays, I'm much more into casual games like Animal Crossing or The Sims, but I still don't play those right now since I only have a laptop with a certain amount of space on it. Any games I play are on my phone, lol.

Are there any upcoming games that you're excited for? If you could design your own perfect game, what would it be?

I do, yeah!

There's always a way to get through mom's "No" and I'm proud of the way you did it *clap clap* Oh, so I can bet you'd have a blast with "Stardew Valley". It's on phone as well, but in general this game doesn't take a lot of space on computer. So maybe you'd check it out? 🙄

Hmmm... Besides waiting forever when Deltarune will be finished? I think not, the Ace Attorney Investigations pack came out recently - I will wait forever now to buy them for normal amount of money XD - so there's nothing to wait for. I don't keep up with what's coming out, I am stuck in old gaming and I'm not coming out of that I'm afraid. All the newer games that I added to my wish list on steam are recommendations from one yt channel, it's called "Nitro Rad". I find the indie games much more interesting now than the triple A titles.

Perfect game... I think it would be a jrpg for starters. Probably with graphics similar to Earthbound. Now if it comes to plot I would love to make a really good romance story, probably set in the fantasy universe I have in my head - and which I want to write at some point in my life, but this project is too big for me to handle as of now - focusing on the main plot of that world, so in short:

Story about a woman (let's call her Cici for now) who goes on an adventure because her father went missing after he was send with the news to the Kingdom of North. She comes from the Kingdom of South and not being a person with magical abilities, just like her father, is the main obstacle in her goal - additionally her King (Mateus) doesn't want her to go, so her running away is another problem that will have to be solved somehow. She goes through the forest of fairies and somehow gets out of it alive (the story of this forest so far is that the fairies there do not like people - I think they hate the ones that can use magic, so most population - and they are making them wander through the vast forest until they die) with a small fairy (Fina) on her shoulder. That tiny one is the first companion.

From there, they get to the Kingdom of West where they meet one of the King, the lunatic so to speak (on a side note, she knows them all because her father is the Mateus' right hand and she helps her father in his duties). She doesn't want to stay, but she ends up staying a few days in the Kingdom of West, much to this King's delight - this guy is a tricky one, no one knows his name and everyone just calls him Luna, nickname gave by the King of East (Zani) (they hate each other for more than one reason, Cici is one of them). The thing is though, Cici and Luna are getting along very well and despite his duties, Luna is like "You'll manage without me, you only have the dragons to deal with!" like it would not be a big deal - cut out the fact that Luna is the only one who can speak with dragons because of his fire magic and because of a stupid thing that he did when there was a war with the dragons. He's the second companion and the most important one, because Luna doesn't believe Cici cannot do magic.

Magic in this world works like this: kids at young age are shown magical books. If they can read it, they can learn the magic of this book only. Each user of magic has a magical pet who is their companion and the source of said magic. Let's take Luna for example: he is the user of fire magic and his companion is a fire peacock, a very graceful one on top of that. Only he can see the fire bird and talk with it. If they get along well - and believe me, they do - Luna can evolve with his magic to the highest level and be one of the most powerful magicians just because the fire peacock gets along with him well and grants him its magic.

Back to the plot: As you can imagine, Luna is right in the end and Cici can do magic, but it's one that caused the most destruction during wars and so the books about it are forbidden, yet, he has one of the three copies that were stolen and just before Cici continues her journey, Luna convinces Cici to look through the castle's library. She finds the forbidden book and to her surprise she can read it. Luna suggests her to take it and even if she knows this book is forbidden, she takes it, while Luna tags along with her for the rest of the journey.

Cici, Luna and Fina are going through the next forest, meadows that are mostly belonging to the Kingdom of East and this is where the Zani learns where Cici is (at the beginning it's almost established that this guy is the one who will ask for her hand, having her dad's approval, but Cici is in doubts and her father cannot help her with it). Zani informs Mateus about her whereabouts and he gets the order to capture her, so the trio has to hide for most of the time. Fina knows the fields and forests in this part of the world so she's their guide and she knows good hiding spots. While hiding, Luna helps Cici with the magic book and while he cannot see her companion, she can see a small, black dog that loves to bite her fingers most of the time.

While going through the troubles in the Kingdom of East they eventually get to the Kingdom of North, find Cici's father, who as it'll turn out got kidnapped on purpose - he saw who Cici gets along better with and as you can tell he's a very responsible father and instead of telling her to maybe get close with Luna, he plans on getting kidnapped with the help of both Mateus and Artalion (the King of North) because he knows that Cici will seek help in the Kingdom of West and perhaps she'll get a hint that she should be with Luna.

The game would end at this point, when the father is found and the conclusion - so coming back home, parting ways with Luna and Fina, and finally making a decision who Cici wants to be with - would be a cutscene.

I think this idea could work both as a game and as a book, but all of this is still a prototype. It needs a lot of work and as a piece of original fiction, I think I should give smaller ideas a go first. I do have one small, original idea, but this one would only work as a book 😉

[hello-naptiime]

Hi gang

I see were talking about Jonathan Piss ass ToiletJon again

And as someone who was fucking THERE, WORKING FOR HIM WHEN EVERYTHING DROPPED

Oh my FUCKING GOD AM I SO PISSED OFF.

Welcome to my rant/vent

Mutuals look away Im sorry

Tw// for grooming and manipulation. General gross things in that area

Also Jinbop.

First of all Ashlie and Jon did was gross, but where Jon failed at literally everything Ashlie succeeded.

When the news dropped of what happened in 2017 Jon made a fucking video of him crying like a little man child, and then pressed charges (also doxxed himself like an idiot) WHICH IS INSANE BEHAVIOR. Even in his written respone he was only making excuses.

At that time I was in very close connection with him, I was on his build team, I played multiple games with him. He would come into vc and hang out with us for several hours, you could consider us friend maybe! I wouldnt.

But I was at the very least in a lot of personal servers.

So when things dropped I knew almost all of the behind the scenes BULLSHIT that was happening. How everyone waited for it to blow over and stuck by him. (I got kicked out of servers too cause people knew i was against him but I was still told everything by friends who were still in there)

Then February happened. And so much more, much worse things got exposed. From only his end. I won't mention who was involved, out of privacy reasons and because I dont want to drag them into this. But holy shit dude everyone left him after that. It was over, his gross behavior with minors (included me now that i think about, sir why are you calling me and my friends cute we are 15-) His awful and manipulative behavior with people he finds useful, how he treats his teams

. He never credited anything, I made his goddamn Dimensions s2 designs, Eddie made the skins. Only Eddie was mentioned, once on a stream.

Eddie also made designs and skins for Rosethorn, and got credited in video no less.

Its not that hard and yet!

The main point is

He was still acting in 2020, the incident was in 2017. And he was acting like this, in late 2020. Into 2021.

I wanted him to get better. I really did, I had been hyperfixated on this group of people for years it hurt a lot.

But its been almost three years and he infact has stayed the same!

He is a grown ass man acting like a toddler on a public twitter account, what makes this man some one to respect in any sort of way.

Theres so much more shit I know about this man, that I can't fucking say because of the people involved not giving me permission too. And I respect that. Thats their story to tell.

Now ashlie on the other hand.

Ashlie made a concise apology and owned up to her actions, shit she made sure not to happen again. She went to fucking therapy, she broke off that relationship first and has made so much effort to distance herself from that and apologize everyday of her life.

She went to therapy after breaking things off, and she went again after the callout just to double fucking check she wasnt a horrible person.

She initially handled everything that happened in 2017 in private, like youre supposed to do. Not have a public twitter meltdown. And in late 2020 still handled mostly everything privately. She wrote out a full explanation and apology that is still very visible on her yt channel, not her twt her full 100k subscriber yt channel

I THINK, THATS GROWTH and she should be respected for that. She's actively changed as a person from the 20yr that made mistakes

And what's crazy is that Max and Ross still make youtube videos with her.

Max and Ross, YKNOW. The people who made sure fucking Jinbop got arrested and stomp Sky's name into the fucking ground for the shit that Sky did. I 100% trust those two to make a decision about a person in their circle when theyre doing some FUCKED SHIT.

IN FACT, THEY DID DROP ASHLIE WHEN THE ALLEGATIONS CAME OUT. SHE WAS IMMEDIATELY KICKED OUT OF EVERYTHING INVOLVING THEM

And they came back. They came back and started making new things and videos with her, Ross is an active participant in almost all of her videos.

I think that speaks wonders about her.

Don't drag her name through the ground I respect that woman and all of her endeavors in the future, she has more than made up for the fact.

Jon is still an awful person, and I dont think he will ever change. He's had more than ample time to and acts like whinny child on Twitter. Actively tries to pull nostalgia bait on his dying yt channel and mocks his ex "friends'" work. I want him gone from the youtube sphere and to get an actual life.

[redraven393]

Headcanons

because waiting for S3 is not my style and so I just pour out all the brain rot so it could be everyone else problem.

Leon

• In the Future, Leon would be the first to actually leave home, not in the way of gotten an apartment of his own in the hidden city, but pack some travel bags and go to Canada or smthin.

• He would travel the whole world both Top Side and other Hidden Cities out there (you can’t convince me that there is only one Hidden city in earth).

• Donnie or Big Mama gave him a cloaking broach. (Because Donnie became rich in the future and Big Mama got a lot paying to do after the thing she pulled in S2)

• He both travel with his portal and regular vehicles, because he wanted that traveling experience everyone always talks about.

• Before leaving home Leon gifted some sort of sword, dagger, or a knife that is infused with his Mystic energy to his family, turning them into a way point for him to teleport to them whenever he wants.

• He also gifted his daggers to new friends he made in his travels.

• Raph would carry his daggers around all day, but always kept them in a safe and high place if he works in the Kinder Garden.

• Mikey decorate his dagger painting the handles with blue motifs, Leon asked him to decorate his personal Swords to after seeing it.

• Donnie kept his dagger in a room full of emergency necessity, like food, comfort stuff and medical stuff, wanting his twin to receive the basic necessity he might need as fast as he could.

• Splinter keep it in the living room where he spends most of his days in, wanting to greet his son first thing when arriving.

• Leon travels the world and learn everything and anything that he could have his hand got into. (Someone once commented about Leon being the Jack of All Trades and it wont leave me till this day)

• Leon carries around a camera after his first travel, his reasoning is “it’s a waste to not share the view”, he made a copy of the pictures he took and share some with his family.

• Mikey used his pictures as reference for his paintings sometimes.

• He also kept a journal around in his bag, currently he already filled 3 book.

• Leon met Usagi in Japan, the two got close because “Sword buddies” (and maybe something more he’ll denied it), “I just find him neat” he says twirling the end of his mask like a fukin teen girl.

• Out all of the countries Leon visited he came back to Japan the most.

• Some of it because of Usagi, and the brothers would tease him about it whenever he came back home.

• Raph was warried about it cause Leon is still his baby brother no mater what but support Leon’s interest toward the bunny Yokai (even if Leon himself denies it).

• Mikey would be Leons go to whenever he want to rant out about Usagi and how “cool and funny and how much of a dork he is Mikey-“

• Donnie, on brand. Would track down the guy and would do background checks, if he could hack every security camera n New York with ease than he could do some spying about his twin’s eye candy.

• Splinter is happy for his son but would always tell him to be careful (look he dated a Yokai before and it didn’t end well for him, and he be damned if he would let Leon have the same fate as him)

• but actually, most of the reason why he visited Japan so much is because he found the Hamato family burial ground, and so he decides to visited them as often as he can to pay respect.

• he just found his dad’s name in one of the Graves and wonder if he would want to be buried in the same place with the rest of the Hamato’s

• Look the guy just disappears one day and never resurface for years, I think at least his manager or someone he was close to would give him some proper grave for him.

• ( I wanted Angst about Lou Jitsu, the man is a superstar there is no way everyone just brush off his disappearance, some guy made an un-solved episode about him for their YT channel)

• Leon always came home every week and bring in Gifts.

• He learns so many new languages now, and like a true multilingual that he is he would sometimes forget a word and just says them in another language entirely and mix different language in a middle of conversation.

• If his green skin can be sunburned, my guy would come home from the Philippine looking like a toasted avocado.

• Brings home a Durian one time and the smell didn’t go away for 3 days.

• Brings Mikey to some scenery so he could paint them.

• He became the tour guide for the Children in Raph’s Kinder Garden in a field trip.

• Teach Donnie some of the languages he learned cause Donnie want to talk shit about some irritating businessmen Yokai he had to work with witout them knowing.

I have more but This is getting long wtf, how manny brain rot do I have?? Someone hep me.

[chalkodareal]

yo what is up my dog ey ive been a huge fan of ur fnf mod but what in the name of shit fuck ass bitch happened to your yt?

oh WOW its been a while since ive had to talk about this. so its kinda funny in retrospect but when it happened it was like. INCREDIBLY frustrating. pretty much my mental health had taken a drop after a relationship i was in ended (although it was more the relationships fault than the ending of it) and i had been extremely stressed out by eighth grade starting as well, causing me to private every video on my yt channel. i make a community post about it, not feeling well but wanting to kiiiind of acknowledge it. so some guy comments on it, and it like "dude youve done this like 2 times before we dont care" and like. he was right. i had done this before multiple times. but it made me so pissed of that to tell the dude i was serious i deleted my entire channel from youtube, completely erasing years worth of content. jesus.

the second channel i made got deleted for stress reasons, although it happened only months before the drama with me and the other guy was revealed which made people think it was for that reason. it was not, it was unrelated.

i have a 3rd channel now, but its not a lot like my first 2 (other than the doug and bingo stuff). the youtube stuff just didnt work out, i was only 12 when everything blew up and i just couldn't handle it. it sucks it got erased, but i guess its better than if my health continued to deplete.

[devils-malady]

AU where Ethan convinced the 4 lords to flip on Miranda and are learning to function in a world that is unfamiliar to them.

•Alcina was shown the internet by her daughters and eventually found a way to make a post saying:

"Tall, single white female seeking maidens for my blood wine and what my daughters call 'Netflix and Chill'."

The post goes viral and she has more applications than she can handle with volunteers willingly donating blood for her and her daughters to use as needed. (And A LOT of offers for Netflix and Chill)

•Moreau is able to contact some ecologists to help him clean up the reservoir and bring back more of the native wildlife. But it has become a popular wildlife park and fishing destination and people are actually nice to him. He is ecstatic.

•Donna absolutely started a YouTube channel on doll making and sewing. Has become a major hit, receiving an offer with a big company to help distribute her own line of custom designs of doll parts and clothes. The site is almost always sold out because she makes relatively low stock because she still wants to make sure everything is up to her own quality standards (responding to people's comments and emails had helped her begin to address her social anxiety and she discovered online therapy). While Angie has blown up on tiktok for her prank vids. 

"My name is Angie and you're watching me turn other people into jackasses."

"*Ethan, off screen, behind the camera* Language!"

•Heisenberg has started making found metal sculptures and is making a killing off something Ethan and Mia called "hipsters". He doesn't know what those are but they sure love to spend money on the weird shit he's been making. He's really quite content with this turn of events and it's the first time he's actually liked his powers. But he would never admit it.

After discussing this with my friend, here's something we came up with in honor of the upcoming festivities:

The 4 lords want to make Ethan and Mia, the resident Americans, feel more at home, so they plan a surprise 4th of July cookout for them.

First and foremost: 

Angie is the kid from that vine, you all know the one.

Donna: "What do you have?"

Angie: "A KNIFE!"

Donna: "NO!"

Later, Donna, out of breath and holding a squirming Angie: "Who gave Angie a knife? Today of all days?"

Cassandra: *whistles innocently, slipping to hide behind her mother.*

Auntie Donna is not above using her gifts on the Dimitrescu daughters when they are being overly cheeky. Just a little zip to remind them to behave. Alcina calls it "tough love". Mia and Ethan have both told her that's not what that means.

•Heisenberg is the grillmaster. But he's shockingly (heh) horrible at it. Everything gets burnt.

Karl: "Ah, Ethan and the Winterses! Welcome to the party! Hamburgers or hotdogs?"

Ethan: "That's charcoal. That kills people, Karl." (I absolutely couldn't resist)

Someone pointed out that the Duke should be cooking to which Heisenberg responded with: "Shut yer fuckin' hole!" And went back to his grilling, doing a better job purely out of spite.

-It was Angie. Angie pointed it out.

-Heisenberg was the subject of her next prank vid as retaliation.

•Alcina and her daughters exclusively eat blood sausage for the party, while Alcina is getting wine mom drunk asking Mia questions about the American holiday, while also providing endless entertainment for baby Rose. Alcina gives the best hugs and cuddles (you cannot convince me otherwise). It is ridiculously adorable to watch her in all her 9' 6" glory, coo at and baby talk to her. (We also discussed at length the boob nest she could create just by leaning back and setting Rose between her cleavage. Hands free baby holding ftw!) (Somebody artsy please draw this, I have a need)

The daughters get jealous and start pestering her for attention before eventually having a game of chase with Moreau in their swarm forms while he's out for a swim in the reservoir. It makes him feel included.

•Moreau has been setting up a little water park for the festivities. He had a slide and water guns put in, with a water balloon station and there's also an extreme slip-n-slide that Angie has been absolutely vibrating to try (The one that decapitated those crash test dummies). Angie had to wait though because she was put in timeout for the knife debacle. But when she gets out of Angie Jail (Rose's turned over baby play pen), she waits until she can get all 3 of the Dimitrescu daughters like a bowling ball taking out pins, sending them crashing into the lake.

•Somehow, Donna was put in charge of the music, which turned out better than Ethan and Mia had expected when they saw her with the sound system set up. She gives off big old school victrola record player with opera vibes because of her aesthetic, but it turns out crowdsourcing ideas on her YT gave her a playlist of epic proportions. She also ended up messing around with a mixing program someone sent her, and the list has a few of her own mixes tossed in.

Angie (with a lot of help from the Duke and Karl) got her tiny little gremlin hands on some fireworks. That also turned out better than anticipated with only one occasion of someone getting partially set on fire. (It was Karl and it went viral on tiktok.) Angie was put back in Jail for the rest of the party.

[enduracarrotchips]

YouTuber AU

Hello welcome to Dating Scandal but with Twitter Involved (nightmare)

A little exposition here: 

Link, Zelda, Sidon, Revali, and Riju are the most popular group of youtubers on the internet and have a huge fanbase that likes to theorize, draw fanart, and write fanfiction about them. Disclaimer, I don’t actually interact with real-person fandoms myself lol there’s just too much potential for drama and misunderstandings & they’re always bound to end in a dumpster fire but that is sort of what this au is about so.

Impa, Mipha, Daruk, and Urbosa are family friends that appear in a lot of their videos/streams. 

(This is an art blog I swear)

enter vidcon 20XX

Link: 

blows stuff up/sets stuff on fire with a side of cooking vids and gaming

most are filmed outside, he does those challenges where you try to cook stuff with limited ingredients/materials

has the largest fanbase of all of them, but not the most…intimidating.

does a lot of collab videos, mostly with Impa, Daruk, and Riju because they have similar interests/channels, but Zelda appears in his videos and is seen filming and the stans read too far into it

simps. i’m pointing at you.

Most popular videos are “shield surfing on rock!—how I broke my leg” “can Daruk eat Impa’s motorcycle?” and “how to inhale ranch dressing.”

Twitter handle is @ arsonistslullabye because he’s a hozier fan

45m subs

Zelda:

theories, analyses, conspiracies, and the occasional e x p e r i m e n t

she once got link to eat a frog for 50 bucks.

most people argue that she’s better than more popular YouTubers because she actually has quality content to give to the world and she has a lot of defensive supporters

She used to get a lot of hate before Urbosa spoke up about it and scared the bejeezus out of everyone

has an actual posting schedule

“Happy Sunday everyone, it’s Zelda Hyrule and today we will be talking about cryptozoology and why blupees exist, you cowards.”

Twitter handle is @ zeldaofhyrule and she is pan. just so you know. One of those calm extroverts that mystify me to this day.

18m subs

Sidon:

fashion/life hacks. Like gourmet troom troom but if they were real people.

Has the 2nd largest fanbase

most of them are girls

Sidon has a boyfriend though, which he told everyone at VidCon a few years ago

cue the drama and shipping and the entire fandom trying to figure out who the boyfriend is. A well known reddit thread emerged that presented the common guesses being Link, Sidon, and Zelda.

“But it can’t be Zelda, Sidon’s gay.”

“I’m not in the fandom but I thought Zelda was a boy??”

“Did you just say Sidon? Is that a typo? Are you saying that Sidon’s dating himself?”

Sidon x Sidon became a fandom joke.

Don’t look at me I’m just setting up all the worldbuilding. every fandom has their weird dark sides and Sidon x Sidon is the Linkcest of the Sidon YT fandom.

Mystery BF is actually Bazz, a pretty inconspicuous guy who appeared in a few of his videos. This was confirmed a year ago, but everyone still ships him with other YouTubers because they’re convinced he was lying to throw them off his scent. He really can’t catch a break and this is why you should not ship real people.

Twitter handle is @ officialprincesidon

says “beguiling” a lot

21m subs ᕙ( ͡❛ ▿ ͡❛)ᕗ

Mipha:

Sidon’s sister, hasn’t posted a single video but just has the channel for show because she appears in so many of Sidon’s videos as a model for his makeup tutorials and whatnot

has 328k for that. Everyone loves her, she’s great. @ mimipha

Revali:

Link’s sworn rival

Link thinks they’re friends

He kept popping up in link’s Twitter threads and making snarky comments until zelda called him out for not even following link (so why was he stalking his acc) which kept the Twitter drama to a minimum

Revali was the catalyst of a few popular memes and that’s where most of his subs come from.

drags link into a few challenges that always get a ton of views because of how competitive they get

“ITS JUST ASININE” is a running joke that everyone tries to get him to say. His @ is itsjustasinine as well

Urbosa is the only person who can win an argument with him

5m subs and growing rapidly. newer to youtube than everyone else.

Impa:

Doesn’t have a channel she’s just a mutual friend of Mipha, Zelda, and Link

Rides a motorcycle, so she is used in a few of Link’s videos.

@ ihaveamotorcycle because she thinks having a motorcycle is a personality trait. the most unruly on Twitter when it comes to replying to fan’s stuff, leaking upcoming videos and generally causing chaos.

Mipha’s girlfriend. That’s how she met Zelda and Link.

Urbosa:

Is actually a model, but she has a ton of YouTuber friends because she’s known Zelda since birth.

when she entered the youtube community she didn’t realize she would be adopting like 15 children

5m subs. her videos are professional & related to her modelling career. @ urbosasfury

I feel like she would do unboxing vids. I’m not sure what she’s unboxing.

Daruk

Just a friend of Link’s, fun guy. yells a lot. once ate a rock and had no reaction.

people are scared of him for that reason

Riju:

yoga & gymnastics & “ha look at how flexible I am its eAsY” videos

you know the type

she also does reactions and is sponsored by save the sand seals charities which she is very enthusiastic about. She’s also Urbosa’s niece and the only minor in the gang (15). I like to think that the champions YT community is actually not creepy so everyone respects her a ton

doesn’t post frequently, she mostly appears in Link’s videos to jump out of airplanes or whatever. And sometimes Zelda’s if she’s interested in the topic. 500k subs, but she’s always really popular when she appears in Link’s videos.

VidCon:

In the months leading up to VidCon, some fans on the internet made a few discoveries: first of all, that the inside of Link’s house is painted green. This is a big deal because all of his videos are filmed outside either in his backyard or on trips that he and the brosquad go on to do…whatever bros do. explosions. idk. The point is he had some announcement about VidCon and filmed it inside. Only the wall and a potted plant were shown.

However, the colour was similar to the the shade of Zelda’s living room. Fans dug through years and years of old videos and found a clip of Zelda walking through a hallway, where there was an open door and a glimpse of a houseplant.

There were 2 types of responses to the theory:

“They could just be roommates guys calm down”

“and they were ROOMMATES?”

others pointed out that Link could just not have a house and had to crash in Zelda’s

Some guy on reddit claimed he had a botany degree and declared that the houseplants in the clips were not of the same genus. Normal people pointed out that the plant would have grown 4 years between the clips and would look considerably different.

#Zelink trended on twitter for a while and people posted other old clips from both of their channels and the frog video blew up again

Impa retweeted a post tagged as #zelink with “rofl” and later publicly apologized for causing confusion.

Fans noticed that in the “can a motorcycle drive over my arm” (it was clickbait he’s fine) episode 2 years ago, Link was eating out of a paper lunch bag with his name written on it in handwriting that a few people claimed to look like Zelda’s, leading people to believe that she had packed him a lunch.

However, this theory was shot down with the counterargument that Zelda can’t cook. although. i mean how much skill do you need to make a sandwich.

No one knows what tumblr is doing at this time

Zelda wore a scarf in her “Save the Sand Seals” video that matched identically to the scarf Link wore when he travelled to Hebra to film a shield surfing video, but it’s been debated wether it’s actually the same scarf or not.

Neither Zelda nor Link has spoken up about the theories, and besides Impa’s one slip on twitter, neither has any of their friends. Zelda received a lot of backlash for the assumption that she was dating Link because he has a lot of delusional fans that didn’t want her to “steal their man” or whatever the hell that type of fan would get mad about

Oh yea and bolson & karson run a zelink fanpage on twitter sorry I forgot about that

after that whole mess, everyone was even more anticipant of VidCon in the hopes that some of their questions would be answered.

The whole batch went to VidCon this year: Link, Impa, Daruk, and Riju are a gang while Sidon and Mipha go together and Zelda & Revali each go separately. Urbosa is there for supervision moral support

Zelda has always been much better at dodging questions that she doesn’t want to answer than anyone else, so her Q&A went without a hitch. When asked to confirm the rumours she said “which one?” and then moved on to the next question (without actually confirming any rumours).

Link is generally a more awkward person but eventually said that he had filmed the video in Zelda’s house because it was nicer and didn’t realize it would cause such an uproar. Fans were disappointed, but Bolson claimed he saw Link and Zelda exiting the hotel elevator on the same floor after Link’s Q&A session. No one believed him.

Fans went back to theorizing over who Link, Zelda, and Sidon were all dating, because apparently they can’t just be dating unknown people and have to be with other YouTubers

Sidon and Bazz got engaged about a week after VidCon, making at least 4 preteen girls cry

actually try 4 million

Sidon x Sidon made a brief comeback but Sidon spoke up about his fandom for the first time ever on twitter and told everyone that no, he was not dating himself. eventually, everyone settled down and accepted that none of them were in a relationship save for a few loud fans.

Link and Zelda still got the occasional “when will you tell us who you’re dating?” comment but most of them were joking and the people who still hardcore shipped them were generally frowned upon. Zelda’s popularity went up after VidCon and she regained the 200k subscribers she’d lost after the first theory dropped.

Two months after VidCon, Link posted a video titled “Zelda and I’s House Tour!” and gave around 45 million people a heart attack

as revealed in the video, they had actually been dating since they were 16 and everyone’s just a fool.

the potted plant is named Hestu.

[writing-fool]

mlqc | let’s hit rewind

What kind of videos would the MLQC guys make if they were YouTubers? I think this is a youtube!au, but to be fair, Kiro probably has a YouTube channel in canon. See it as you will? I won’t really talk about their life outside of YT/internet so you can decide for yourself whether this is an AU or not, and whether they’re a full-time YouTuber or not.

As always, enjoy, and requests are open!

Love,

R.

Warning(s): none

Victor

Victor probably has a cooking channel

scratch that. he absolutely starts as one of those Aesthetic™ cooking channels like Cooking tree, HANSE, Sweet The MI or Nino’s Home.

his channel is called Souvenir because he’s not THAT original you can’t expect everything from a man, people. 

he starts off doing these voiceless cooking videos, but after a voice and face reveal at 2 million followers where he cooks something for his followers as a thanks...well, who wouldn’t want more of that sultry voice and glorious face

currently has about 4 million subscribers

Victor’s channel is kind of comparable to Junskitchen, a rather relaxed, casual atmosphere combined with exquisite, refined cuisine

if he feels like it, he does a voice-over, otherwise he just puts calm jazz, blues or r&b over his cooking

HAS done an ASMR special. low-key dislikes the video because he has to whisper voice-overs but people LOVE it

likes making all kinds of foods, but his channel features quite a lot of sweet foods and desserts because a certain dummy has a sweet tooth

a pretty popular feature during quarantine is Cooking w/ Sou, essentially a live stream where Sou (aka Victor) cooks a whole three-course meal while talking to and instructing his followers

his subscribers notice that he doesn’t really need editing to look clean during cooking because his technique is IMMACULATE

by the end, he’s made a themed dinner for two...which always raises a question mark

is Sou single? does he have a roommate? a girlfriend? a kid? WHAT?

after getting your explicit permission, Victor addresses the situation in one of his recent Q&As

“Why do I always make dinner for two? I have a fiancée, she edits my videos in her spare time. She works as a producer. *you wave your hand over the lens* Dummy.” he breezes over it like it’s no big deal even though he’s a tad nervous about exposing something personal like this

his fans blow up the internet, baffled but not entirely surprised that someone like Sou isn’t a bachelor

of course, some leave hate under the video honestly, people who do this to celebs who start dating are HORRIBLE

most subscribers are super supportive of your relationship and thank you for the editing that makes Souvenir such a well put-together channel...also did he seriously call his fiancée a dummy? such a tsundere!

sometimes, you’ll (well, your hands...we’re keeping a bit of privacy here) even be in the end shot of videos, munching away at the carefully plated food

one day, Sou will be making a video titled Wedding Cake.

Lucien

Lucien’s channel LucidLight is a tad bit all over the place

he’s a man of many talents, and his channel reflects just that

i’m not saying it’s a disorganized channel, because the theme is very much there - the uniform theme in Luci’s content is a cozy background, a cup of tea and a soothing thumbnail

i mean that content-wise, his subscribers don’t really know what they’re going to get next...he has a slightly similar style to the YouTuber simon plant 

his content varies from interesting science theories to poetry reading sessions to ASMR to painting/sketching to cooking and much, much more

he has an heavenly soothing, smooth voice. it’s his trademark since Lucien doesn’t show his face on camera. ever. 

doesn’t have a TON of subs, because his channel is a bit of a niche thing, but I’d say he has 1,2 million subscribers and 400k followers on his added ‘business’ Instagram

he holds a lot of live streams on Instagram/YouTube (i know Moments exists in the game, but that’s more like a Facebook or Twitter kind of app...) and is always shown with just his torso and neck in frame. the lives usually include some poetry reading and generally just having a nice, relaxing chat with his followers. they can last up to 5 hours at once, and YOU know it’s because he doesn’t need sleep like a normal human being, but his fans are still asking questions about his timezone

his subscribers are strangely fascinated by his mysterious, gentle nature and also incredibly obsessed with his large, elegant hands

his ASMR videos are often roleplays of Librarian Lucien or Professor Lucien explaining to people why their rest is important

other times, they include soft affirmations, positive whispers, finger fluttering, hair touching and maybe kissing sounds...

Lucien paints a lot too, although he works primarily with ink and pencil sketches. you’ll find a watercolour or oil painting somewhere, but they’re not his most prominent media

his art videos are usually silent, although he might say something once in a while. there’s always some type of solo instrumental music playing in the background.

he does educational videos about biology and universe theories, but will also have reading sessions about scientific books

not intentionally secretive about your relationship, but he’s not one to mention it either

the first time you appeared on screen was when he was doing another live stream. he’s in his office talking about a play, when you come padding in to bid him goodnight.

“Yes, indeed. Laura’s glass menagerie, as the play suggests, is a symbol of fragility. Laura herself is very frail, but her favourite—”

“Good night, darling.” your soft voice rings through the room. viewers see Lucien’s torso turning a little bit, a hand on his shoulder and a curtain hair appearing from the top of the screen. his hand moves, presumably to cup the person’s cheek, before a soft kiss is heard through the mic. “Sleep tight, my love,” he murmurs.

“Ah. Laura’s favourite glass figurine is the unicorn, which...”

people are in uproar, but Lucien is a strong-willed man who refuses to explicitly announce the nature of his relationship.

his subscribers stop asking after a while, because it really isn’t any of their business, and they now know Lucien’s a taken man

you kind of appear on live streams accidentally a couple more times, but nothing’s really changed about Lucien’s content

the only thing he WILL say, and this is purely to give you credit, is “Ah. The background instrumentals in my art videos are played live. Yes, my lover’s very talented.”

you guys are the mysterious, talented, soft-voiced power couple of YouTube

Gavin

Gavin’s channel probably starts as a joint channel with you, something like Rachel and Jun

it’s relatively obvious from the start that Gavin from Birds&Cops is in a relationship, since you guys have a vlogging-style channel

your channel is filled with gym vlogs, travel vlogs to other countries and a lot of self-defence and sport at home videos. 

you guys also post a lot of funny vlogs talking about your day, going on fun dates, of course food vlogs in restaurants, all that stuff...

you often sit down and talk about your life, and maybe you’ll even do a mukbang during it for someone so fit, Gavin does eat a lot of food. 

Gavin’s channel didn’t blow up right away, because vlogging channels aren’t exactly unique, and he looks like the typical ‘straight boy with a girlfriend’

but he started gaining followers after people noticed how cute and blushy he acts, and how incredibly respectful and caring he is towards you

one of the most popular videos is Boyfriend Does My Makeup and it’s adorable. Gavin’s handling your face with so much care, and comments like “I know what this is, I’ve watched you do it many times.” or “Babe, does it hurt? Should I be more gentle? I’m sorry...my hands are rough.” make everyone SWOON

toxic masculinity left the chat. Gavin loves taking care of you in any way, whether it’s getting pads, chocolate and hot packs during your period or braiding your hair

in those yoga/celebrity fitness routine challenges, subs get to see Gavin in a tight singlet and sweatpants/shorts, and it’s HOLY

you’re very much aware of the attention Gavin receives from female fans, and how lucky you are to have found such a sweet partner

Gavin will usually see this type of comment while scrolling and will turn to you and go “Babe, you know I’m the lucky one here, right?”

anyways, a feature that you do to show fans the extent of Gavin’s sweet personality is Pranking My Boyfriend, where you set up the camera for a harmless prank like pretending to have a nightmare (similar to channels like Farina Jo)

that particular video was so fun to shoot, because it ended up with Gavin softly singing a lullaby to calm you down in his arms

“Baby, wake up. I’m here, you’re safe.” Gavin knows how to deal with panicking people, but he hates this prank afterwards because ‘he didn’t like seeing you in pain’

fans squealed. Birds&Cops gained like 50k subs through that video. the channel’s currently at 999k subscribers

overall, it’s just a really lovely, family-friendly channel

Kiro

Kiro knows his way around the web, alright?

not even just as Key, but he’s had a YouTube channel since the age of 15

his channel, CtrlAltChips is a hit with many people of many, many ages

he streams gaming sessions on Twitch and posts them on his YouTube channel afterwards

other content includes (primarily) covers & original songs, simple talking videos, thrifting & fashion videos, mukbangs and candid dance videos in a studio

think of chloe moriondo, doddleoddle, Victor the Drum Destroyer and Cat Strat

alternatively, for the ARMYs here, think of Jeon Jungkook as a YouTuber

Kiro has about 18 million subscribers, which is A LOT, but he’s been on YouTube for 7 years and he’s made a name for himself as a super likeable and bubbly guy with an angelic voice and killer moves

you’d think he’s just a cute boy when he sings acoustic covers, but his dance moves suggest that he’s not THAT cute

also how does he stay so fit with all those snack mukbangs?

he has a segment named In Our Kloset where he talks about social issues (because our boy uses his platform for good) around the world while customizing (not just pins. we’re talking patches, sewing, painting, embroidery) thrifted clothing to his liking. at the end he holds a little fashion show with his new outfits

after a while, you’ll see many of his outfits in giveaways or on sale for charity. Kiro tries to give back to his fans as much as he can, and how better than by sharing a piece of his unique clothing with them?

a great singer and performer. has held actual concerts before and has an actual music career (author-nim leaves it up to you readers to decide whether this is his idol career or some other musical project)

keeps his private life PRIVATE. he knows how the internet works, and he knows there’s no way he can keep your relationship a secret forever, but he’s not about to expose it to the world because of that reason

keeps tabs on information or rumours regarding you and makes them vanish

he’s simultaneously the most open and the most secretive out of the four boys. his fans know his favourite colour, what type of underwear he wears (trunks. Kiro wears trunks.), his birthday,...

but they know nothing about his past, his location, his close social circle or his family (teeechnically he’s an orphan but ig we’re talking about his mentor here. the blood of the covenant blah blah blah...y’know?). Kiro protects his loved ones fiercely

for someone who’s kept so secret, you’re actually really involved in Kiro’s virtual persona. you’re usually behind the camera during his In Our Kloset videos and are in charge of extra research regarding topics so he doesn’t spread any misinformation 

you also give pointers during filming (of course, these bits are edited out) because Kiro tends to trail off and get distracted when sewing

another way you’re involved is setting up the food during mukbangs. you have a great sense of aesthetics, so all of his videos in general will go through you.

while you like being low-key in Kiro’s life, you don’t want him to feel like he has to protect you from all the hate. 

he doesn’t particularly love keeping you a secret either, and it makes him feel guilty because he doesn’t want you to think he’s ashamed of you. he could never be.

you guys give it a good chat over how you’re going to announce it, and he just ends up making a video titled Miss Chips where the two of you sit down and talk to the camera

“Hello my little chips! Uhm, as you can see, there’s someone sitting next to me today. Maybe you already guessed from the title, but this is...my girlfriend, Miss Chips,” cue the cute jazz hands in your direction, “We’ve been dating for a long, loooong time, right, Miss Chips?”

“I just wanted to share this with you guys, since it felt wrong to keep such an important person in my life private. I hope you’re all kind to her, because I love her dearly,��even to the point of giving up my snacks...so it’s serious.”

it really is that serious, hm?

Hope you enjoyed reading! 

[lookingforhobi]

♡ tour ♡

TOUR (Part Two)

Summary: It was just a tour with your friends to explore Seoul. But life gave you Namjoon. Yes, Kim Namjoon, the leader of a world-renowned group BTS.

Author’s Note: This is originally planned as ONE-SHOT but some comments were asking for it. Long overdue because life happens but here it is finally! Please don’t reupload or make YT content without my permission. This is purely imagination.

Click the link for the part one on my Youtube channel

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x reader

au/genre/warning: too much heartbreak; mentions of self-harm, mental health issues; pregnancy warning, unprotected sex; aggressive

Word Count: 12.9k

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Your hands are shaking as you shuffle through the set of keys to your new apartment. This has been the biggest leap of faith you ever did so far. Well, aside from your craziness and dating Kim Namjoon! But you try your best not to think of him and remember the promise you made yourself not to reconnect with him anymore. You are here because finally you’ve gotten the offer in the University to teach- a dream that happened before you started knowing Kim Namjoon better, not just as idol but the real Kim Namjoon. You sighed when you finally open the door and immediately shut it behind you. It feels different and home sickness starts to creep in. The last time to set foot to this country was with your friends, with the goal just exploring what the place has to offer, but Seoul gave you Joon. “Here you go again with Namjoon, Y/N,” you sighed to yourself. Sometimes you wish you are in different world, in parallel universe. Maybe there, things would’ve worked out. Or maybe in another life, you’d be in the same world and life would be better. “Suck it up!” you told yourself. You can’t live in what ifs and what not’s. You’re here, now. That is what matters.

You picked up your phone and dialled your Mom’s number. Living away from home, with no friends around, in a place where your what ifs are, are kind of tough. You swallowed hard when your mom picked up. She was supportive of your dreams, but when she learned you’re going to Seoul she got worried. She knew about you and Namjoon, though confused what is the real reason of the breakup, she knew you’re in for another heartbreak once your ways intersect again.

“My sunshine, how are you? How’s the apartment? How’s your flight? Have you eaten yet?” your mom worried as ever. “I’m good, Mom. Apartment’s nice, but I haven’t unpacked yet. I just got here. The flight? Urgh, I slept before the plane takes off so…” You laughed. “that’s good. Do you have food there? At least eat something before resting. You can unpack later" You smiled at her remarks, you’re going to miss her sweet nagging and the way she babysits you sometimes. “Mom, I’m a grown-up woman. A strong independent woman. Okay? Don’t worry. I got this handled like a queen!” you chuckled. “Like me,” she added. The call run for what it feels like forever, as you talk about your goals and schedules and anything, you started unpacking your stuff. Placing the family photos carefully and making sure your apartment feels like home one way or another. You smiled seeing your friends’ photos. It was the greatest adventure that winter. It was unexpected, the events were unplanned, it left a big impact of your life..and to think about it, it is one of the reasons you decided to pursue your dreams. Partly, Namjoon pushing and keeps on bugging you to, but mainly because this is where you dreamt of settling way long before you knew BTS exist. Your fascination to South Korea, the culture, tradition, and history of the place made you fall in love, added the amount of KDramas you grew up with- being Goong on top of the list because of the historic and cultural twist of that rom-com.

“Rom Com,” you laughed to yourself. The word that got Namjoon puzzled the first time you talked about favourites. He made a lot of funny poetic thing out of those words, clearly making a big deal of flexing his brainy ass! You smiled to the memories of your dating journey. But as soon as you realised, bitterness and sadness took over again. It has been 3 years since the breakup, and you can’t still take it out of your system. You blamed yourself for being a weakling, a coward. Overly dramatic and pathetic. Well, that is what other fans told you when they found out he’s dating someone. Great thing is BigHit got to intervene before people starts digging into HER that makes Namjoon’s heart flutter and inspired. Writing the song HER in record-breaking time. You can’t bear to hear it now without crying your eyes out for days. It teared you out completely, leading to issues that needs professional help. He didn’t know about that, of course you would never say it. You ended the relationship without further explanation. You dropped it like it doesn’t matter anyway. “It was just a fling.” That was what you said. But you know clearly it was not.

Of course, it’s hard dating an idol. The moment you stepped into the airport when you left after your Seoul getaway, you knew it won’t work. You cling on to the promise that he’d make time to visit you secretly, or make sure you can come to their concerts if your schedule permits. But as life gave you Namjoon in an unexpected time, fate decided to give you the bitter reality. He missed your calls, he forgot your birthday, he’d text once a month. You tried to understand all of that. He clearly has dreams to chase, and you can’t expect him to be with you-especially with their growing popularity. All the concerts, and pressure of producing new tracks, is too much for him…and you came along. Another added stress to what is already on his shoulders. He pleaded to make it work, but you knew it won’t. The biggest part-lack of human touch. You crave for it. You needed it. You needed to be reassured, and you consider touch as your love language. And it is very impossible for two people living miles apart. Heck, worlds apart! At first, you find ways. But virtually, is nothing compared to what you’ve shared back then. The amazing touch, sounds you never knew existed, his deep voice moaning your name… You shake your head once more. “Not gonna happen again. 3 years, Y/N. He moved on. You broke the poor man’s heart because you’re weak. So let him go. Let go!” you say that every day, like a mantra that keeps you going through the whole day.

You opened your SNS to check up on your friends and update them of everything. They are already planning of visiting you. Unlike with them, they did not break Yoongi and Jimin’s hearts. They made it clear after that triple date not to get involved emotionally. They knew better, you did not listen to them, hence they named you “the hard-headed, heart-breaker”. You love their honesty though, and the way they put up with all your drama and crying and making sure you’re attending therapies. It’s not that you’ve attempted to end your life though, you just didn’t find any more reasons to do the things you used to love. You started drifting away from everyone else, shutting doors even to your mom, your blank stares , and the forgotten ways to find happiness. They were the first to notice you drifting away from life. They initiated therapy sessions, made sure you were never alone but still maintaining your independence, and still respecting your privacy and preferences. They are your lifeline. And without them here, it is a tough journey. But you know, you were never alone really. You found your ways of dealing and living with it, you know the pre-warning signs. You grew stronger through it all.

By the end of the day, your apartment is tidied up, all your stuff are organised, and you felt yourself starving. You decided to have a walk around the neighbourhood, looking for essential spots around the area. You found your way towards one convenience store, and that is when it hits you. Looking straight ahead, his face is plastered everywhere- even on drinks! You wish you could just have amnesia and forget you ever met. If you could just start over, you would not let a strange man jumped into your taxi from the airport. You sighed as you try to ignore his grin from the coffee canister. You picked Hoseok instead. Their group has gotten huge that if you meet people from the outer space, they will certainly know about them, too. The idea made you smile, and as crazy as it sounds. But that what Namjoon has always manifested- their message transcends to everyone. Not just being popular but creating an impact that could change one or two lives. Yet he clearly cannot see how one group touched millions of people, and continue touching and attracting positivity to every homes. You are so proud of what they have become. Not that you have personal history together, but because before you’re HER, you’re an ARMY first. You look back to the moments when you have been struggling and how the group manage to lift you up. Ironically, the leader became one of the reasons for your confusion and heartaches for the last 3 years. If there’s an advice you can give to your younger self- DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH AN IDOL.

Weeks by, and little by little you get to adopt and create a system of how you’re going to survive this new beginning. You have also met some friends which are so lovely, even some from your country. Luckily, when Hallyu wave is the topic, you can manage to explain the true reason of you coming to South Korea- which is their rich cultures and amazing landscapes. You’ve also visited the places on your bucket list with the guide of your friends, particularly Felix. He has been very accommodating and welcoming and would give you amazing trivia about the places. You spend a lot of time together and sometimes he’d pick you up at work. He’s a nice guy, and you’re starting to like him but you know you’re not ready for anything yet. You made that clear the first time you talked about relationship, but not revealing the identity of the reason.

Days rolled to weeks, turned to months and before you know it it’s been almost a year since you’ve moved. You have been thriving and surviving, managing to build a wall between you and all BTS-related stuff. It has been quite a struggle because they are everywhere but you were able to filter the Namjoon you dated, pretend he’s a different guy from the BTS leader. Because from what you’ve learned, he is really different from RM. Namjoon is real, RM is just a tiny speck of Namjoon.

Fate must’ve been really bored one day you went to a coffee shop after work. It was an unexpected get together with your friends when a familiar face appeared. Your heart begins to race, you feel blood draining from your face, and you hold your breath. “Seems like you’ve seen a ghost” said Ligia. You can’t speak, you just stared at Manager Sejin and Namjoon entering the café. “You said you’re not into KPop?” asked Jenna. You can’t find answers, you can’t think. All you want is to bask in Namjoon’s ethereal presence. He still has that effect on you. The photos from everywhere is nothing compared to the actual Namjoon. Photographers don’t do justice no matter how they try. The man’s beyond aesthetic. His hair, that silver hair you always compliment…and did he hit the gym? He clearly did, his shoulders… his chest…oh that veiny arms who used to wrapped around your waist. That chest you used to sleep on. You’re longing for his touch…. You sit there staring at him, not minding all the questions and commotion from your friends. Not until…

“Y/N?” His voice, his heavenly voice, waking you up from your frozen state. “Oh my. You’re here? Here, here?” he walks towards you and all hell lose. You looked at your friends and strangers looking blankly at you two. Manager Sejin manages to warn anyone not to take photos, bodyguards started coming in. But you, everything seems to be moving slowly. “Ba---” he was about to say it, as if it’s the most natural thing to say. “Nam—Namjoon. H-hi" you finally found your voice, shaky and whispered, but still manageable. You didn’t know how but your friends seemed to be nowhere. It’s just you and Namjoon now, even Manager Sejin seems to have left. “Why? How? When?” he asked. Not sure how to answer, you just shook your head. “I’m sorry. I can’t, I… I don’t know how to explain.. not now, Joonie" you whispered. He smiled but you know he’s confused as well. You stood there for what it feels like eternity. You longed to touch him, you wish you could. But reality is creeping in. If you do it, it’ll ruin your Namjoon. It’ll ruin him and the guys. You cannot afford to do that. You kept your composure and bowed, attempting to walk away. Because any second, you’d burst crying and it’ll be no turning back. Your friends will start asking questions, social media will be filled of your photos, articles will be put up, heck Dispatch has its own ways of finding even your whole information. No, you must leave now!

“Can I at least call you?” he suddenly whispered. “I deserve answers, Y/N" he begged. You looked at him, he’s devastated as well. Was he struggling for the past years too? Trying hard to hide his true emotions, putting up a show for the whole world to know he’s doing great? You nodded. “Same info", you replied. “Thank you. It’s great to see you" he bowed, too formal, too stiff. He walked away first from the back door as Sejin walked past you. You bowed to both at them as they make their way out. When they’re gone, the store reopened but you chose to go home immediately leaving your friends with all their questions and worried looks.

You turned everything off- phone, SNS, laptop…anything that could connect you to the outside world. Right now, you just wanted to be alone. Soak in your own tears and begin hating yourself again. He was few feet away, so near…yet so far. You pinched yourself to make sure you can still feel anything except the emotional pain. Any pain, anything that could divert you from the thoughts of what if’s. “fuck it!” was all you can say while opening another bottle of beer. Sometimes you question how you get so lucky that Namjoon knows your existence. Yet cursed because every move means you could destroy him. “I just wanted a normal life! Date a normal guy! Hold his hand in public! Kiss him in front of the crowd!” You started shouting, over and over until you get exhausted. Curse.

You’re woken up by loud knocking. You checked the clock and it’s 4am, you only had 30 minutes of rest and whoever this is means it’s urgent by how heavy the knocks are. You remembered turning off all your connections, your friends must have been so worried. You peeked at the door, a tall guy’s silhouette stands there. “The fuck you want? Who are you??!!” you yelled. Beer breath coming out and you’re starting to get really dizzy. “open up Y/N" he whispered. “Namjoon? How the fuck did he managed to find me? You asked yourself. “Sorry, wrong house" you answered. “You can’t fool me. Let me in, please. It’s freezing" he begged. “Fuck Namjoon, it’s 4am what the hell are you thinking?” you asked him as you opened your door. You have enough beer in your system to act brave as you face the inevitable questioning. His scent was the first you caught. And God knows how much you missed that scent. 4 years since you’ve last smell that, and it brings back all memories. But now is not the time to think about those memories. “You’ve been drinking?” he has a hint of annoyance in his voice. You chuckled “duh!”. He sighed and sit himself down. “Why are you not answering?” now he seems concerned. “Disconnected outside world" you managed to reply as you tried your best to walk straight. “Jeez, Y/N! You’re wasted. This is not clearly the time" he remarked. “Yes, Kim Namjoon. This is not our time! There will never be our time!” you hissed in anger. He froze by your reply, hurt perhaps, and you started sobbing yet again. “In another lifetime, perhaps" you cried before everything turned black.

You woke up with the worst hangover headache. Everything feels heavy, and the sunlight is not helping at all. You groaned as you roll over your bed and noticed your clothes on the floor. Sudden gush of shock rush through your system as you try your hardest to recall the events from yesterday. NAMJOON! You immediately looked for signs of Kim Namjoon in your room. Aside from clothes on the floor, you’re also wearing new set of pyjamas. “Oh no no no no no no!” you prayed nothing happened between you. It will be a disaster, and you can’t let it ruin your lives again. You quickly run towards the kitchen and notice that the bottles of beer are now neatly packed by the kitchen counter, the living room tidy and not a single evidence of mess. “Joonie?” you asked. But no answer. You can’t be dreaming. No matter how drunk you were last night, you know he was here. He was, and the note on the table confirmed it.

Took the liberty to cook you breakfast. Also have medicines for headache. Lemonade on the fridge. Answer my messages/calls.

-NJ

You asked yourself how can he act as if nothing happened? Like you didn’t break his heart and tore him to pieces? Are you that irrelevant? Worth forgiving without even asking for one? How can he move on so easily? You did this, and your suffering for it but he acts cool and pretends to be okay. You pushed the food aside and went on to get the lemonade, which another note was attached.

Food first before medicine.

You rolled your eyes. And sighed as you open your phone. Messages came flooding through. From friends, your mom, voice mails, and notifications. But above everything, an unknown number with lots of missed call logs. You debated whether to call back that number, as if you don’t have a hint of who owned this number. Like on Cue, the number begins calling you. You were startled and almost dropped your phone. Your heart racing and skipping a beat at the same time.

“Hello?” you greeted.

“Finally!” Namjoon groaned.

“Why?” you asked plainly. “Nothing. Just making sure you’re up and eating.”

“Yes, I saw the notes. Thanks" you sighed. Then followed by silence.

“I have to go. But I'll call you again" he said, and ended the call.

What’s new? You mumbled to yourself. It was like that. It started with calls like that. He was always busy, you get it. You let him be, talk to you whenever he can. You never asked directly or demanded anything from him. His free time means writing new tracks, and talking to you at the same time. You were okay with it. His voice calms you down and brings comfort. He would send surprise gifts, too, with the help of Abi and Maigne.

You decided to call your friends.

“Whattt??? He went to your apartment? What was he thinking???” Maigne freaked out. “I don’t know, I didn’t get the chance to ask.” You answered. “Y/N! You didn’t…..did you?” Abi asked with questioning look. “No!.... I don’t know! I woke up with different set of clothes” you looked down, trying to recall everything but to no avail. “You…aiissshhh!!! I don’t know. How are you though?” Maigne asked, concern taking over. You shrugged because honestly, you don’t know. “Is there…is there any news? You know, SNS?” you waited patiently as both of them tried hard not to spill the tea. “Hmm. Nothing so far. Clear from dispatch. Comeback goals…, few buzzed about Namjoon and mystery girl at a coffee shop.. nothing much.” Abi said, as she scrolls absent-mindedly through her feeds. “Yeah, same", added Maigne. They were busy scrolling that they did not catch your reaction from the last statement. “Coffee shop". “What?” they asked in unison. “That was me" you swallow painfully. “Why would you leave that detail???” Maigne asked. “I was pre-occupied with him barging in my apartment. But yeah, that is how we met.” And you filled them with all the details you can remember. They are confused as well, and have different opinions on how to deal with Namjoon. “We’ll be filing our vacation leave soon. Hang in there, okay?” Abi reassured and you smiled as you ended the video call. You didn’t bother calling your Mom about Namjoon, she’ll just worry and you know she’s had enough of you getting your heartbreak.

You let go and ignored the urge to text him again. Besides, you learned that they’re preparing for their comeback. What you need to prepare is how to answer your new friends. Of course you can’t tell the truth. “I attended couple of album signing and other events for BTS. They have very sharp memories,” you lied. They didn’t bugged you again, as it has become a norm for the fans to attend public events. Days pass and you decided to focus on your work instead of basking around the idea of Namjoon, or reaching out to him. But then you receive a message from him:

Namjoon: Can we meet?

You: Outside? IDK Namjoon. It’s all over SNS

Namjoon: I’ll pick you up. The guys wanted to see you, too.

You: Is that even a good idea?

Namjoon: They missed you

You: Should we be talking first? I don’t want them to get the idea that I’m coming back

Namjoon: ok

You know it hurt him, just as much as it hurts you. But it is for the better. They might get the wrong impression of you coming back to Namjoon’s life just because you’re here now. They might protect you, they can protect you. They have been always supportive of you and Namjoon. But the main concern here is- will you be able to protect them especially Namjoon? You’ve put him in so much stress and heartbreak already, you can’t let that happen again as much as you missed him. His image is more important than anything. It’s the best you can do.

You: you can come here. We can talk here.

You were fixing your dinner when you heard someone knocking. You are not expecting anyone, except Namjoon. You furrowed your brows, it can’t be… But when you opened the door, it is him.

“Hi. Wasn’t expecting you. I thought we’d schedule or something,” you stuttered. “Oh, did I catch you in a bad time?” he hesitated. “No, no. I just thought you’re busy. Come in,” you try your best to calm your nerves. Seeing him here, miraculously you’re sober this time, makes you want to cling yourself around his arms. Feel him, touch him. It took all your might not to do that. “I’m preparing dinner. Do you wanna…join?” you can’t hide the awkwardness, but he smiled. The most reassuring smile. “Sure,” he attempts to stand up but you signalled him not to. It’s like you’re both testing waters, trying to hold back everything. “So, how are you?”, he asked while looking at the photos on the table. You scoffed “Surviving”. He nodded and smiled a little. “You?” you asked. “Album prep’s going on nicely.” “No, Joon. Namjoon. You.” You insisted. “I like it when you call me that. And yeah, I guess I am trying to survive, too” Then silence followed. You know it’s time to talk about what happened, but you don’t want to ruin dinner. Stalling, you’re good at it. Prolonging your agony perhaps but at least you’re buying a little more time to look at him. The man who was once you called home. “Dinner’s ready. Wine?” you want to kick yourself for offering alcohol when you want to talk about serious stuff. He nodded, showing his dimples. Your favourite…one of your favourite parts of him.

Dinner was fine but awkward. He tried to lighten up the mood by talking about the new album, the past concerts, the craziness of the guys, and how they get full schedule for the whole year. You are very proud of them, how they handle everything together all at once. “How are you, Y/N?” he suddenly asked. “I told you, surviving.” You replied. He nodded. “Listen..” you inhaled deeply. He sighed; he knows it’s THE TALK you’re going to have. “I’m sorry for bailing out.” You dropped your gaze on the floor, not wanting to see how devastated he is. “I should’ve tried harder. I should’ve... I should’ve fought harder. But I just couldn’t. I had to let go,” your tears begin to pool in your eyes. Your vision becomes blurry. He didn’t move. He didn’t say anything. So, you continued, “You were the nicest guy- RM or Namjoon. And I just can’t be with you. I can’t ruin you, Joon. I won’t forgive myself if that happens. I can’t defend you. I can’t…” “please, stop” he sighed. “It’s not on you, Y/N. I was too busy I forgot about you, your needs. My promises” he sighed. “I knew it won’t work. But at least we tried?” you whispered, sobbing. “We did,” he whispered too, voice starts to crack.

.

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.

.

Months past, you focused yourself and everything into work that you never had any chance of thinking about what happened during that night. It was all dramatic but freeing. You stopped questioning everything and decided to move forward instead of dwelling in the past. He is doing well, too. You started to follow them on SNS again, started watching their new MVs and interviews. You smile once in a while, and ironically, their new songs comfort you. You were back being ARMY. Whatever happened in the past is far behind your control and concern right now. Besides, you are an ARMY first. You also started going to the places you once visited with Namjoon. Your favourite place to unwind and de-stress is the restaurant near Han River where you went on a dinner date. It was awkward at first, memories came flushing. But every time you set foot, it becomes your comfort zone. Plus the view is really relaxing and heavenly. One hell night, you were rushing to get away from all the stress of work, you drive all the way there only to be told that the whole place is reserved for VIP visitors. To your dismay, you sighed and stayed outside for a little while. While you were about to go home, someone called your name. “Y/N? Is that you?” You turned around and you were immediately enveloped into his hug. “Oh my! It is you! Wow!” Jimin giggled. “Jimin! Hi. Um, what…you’re here?” you asked in panicked. “Yes, the boys are inside. Come!” he pulled you. “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Chim.” You said shyly. “Oh don’t worry with Namjoon. He’s cool, he’s moved on. We know.” Your heart pains by his remark. “Yeah. But… I don’t know.” You hesitated. “Just drop and say hi then I’ll let you be. I promise. We just missed you having around.” He looked at you with puppy eyes, and who would not fall for that trick? Especially coming from sweet Jimin! You sighed and you let him lead you inside. “Look who I found outside!” Jimin screamed. They all looked at you, mouth wide open. You can’t bear look at them but you turned your gaze to Namjoon. “Y/N?” he stood up and walk towards you. “H-hi. I was about to go home. You guys enjoy the night.” You bowed to them and walk away, but Namjoon caught your arm. “No, no. Stay for a while. Join us. Right guys?” he asked them and they all nodded. You caught Yoongi’s eyes and he looks at you with angry look. You move your gaze to the floor, trying to contain your tears. “Yeah, Y/N. Join us” he said plainly. You know Namjoon felt the intensity of Yoongi’s words, too, but he shook it off. You smiled a little, unsure about Yoongi’s reaction. “So, Y/N. What have you been up to? Are you staying for good? Or you gonna run again?” he asked bitterly. “Hyung. Let’s not.. please drop it” Namjoon interrupted. The guys fell silent. You inhaled sharply, you were put in a hot seat, might as well give them what they want to hear. To hell with all the inhibitions and pretentions. “Look, I messed up, big time,” you started. “Y/N, we’re good. You don’t have to explain. We’ve already talked” he whispered. “No, Joon. We talked, but they didn’t hear me. They also need to know. What happened was not just between you and I. They were affected, too. I know.” You sighed. “I messed up. You’ve been so protective of me, of us. You did everything to keep my identity away from spying eyes. You protected me in a way I can’t protect you. I… I felt useless, I felt like a hindrance. I can’t come near you because I’m too afraid to be exposed. I can’t let myself ruin your career.” You swallowed hard before continuing.. “Namjoon went through a lot, I know how it feels because I got my heart broken too, you know. But you were there to console him, you have full schedule to at least help him get off his mind from me. I have nothing. I always had you to comfort me, but when it all happen, I can’t even listen to a single song nor can’t bear to say your name. You were my comfort, and I broke you. It’s selfish. I’m sorry. I will leave you be.” You started crying hard. Not giving a fuck of what you look like in front of everyone. You let your heart out, you’re

standing there vulnerable and looking pathetic but you don’t care anymore. You wanted to scream, you wanted to say you still care but you didn’t. You didn’t want to hurt them again especially Namjoon. “You know we are ready to risk everything just to see Namjoon happy again. He was doing well. Now, you’re here again? Why?” Yoongi asked without any emotions. “They offered me a job here. I know I should’ve rejected it. It’s dumb. But don’t worry, I will not get in your way.” You answered back. “That’s not what I meant, Y/N” Yoongi softens. He looked at you and to Namjoon. “Is there a tinge of hope when you accepted the offer, that Namjoon is part of why you accepted it?” he asked. You looked at Namjoon and started sobbing again. Because yes, you knew Seoul is home. You knew he was here. You didn’t expect nor look for him, but you let fate decide. You readied yourself of the possibility of bumping into him. Namjoon was about to hug you but you stepped back. “I can’t do this. Not again. I’m sorry” you bowed and run as fast as you could. Away from them. You opened up another wound, you did this. But you also felt relief for having the chance to explain to the guys why you did what you did. It’s for the best. Hopefully.

.

.

.

“So, since you’ve fully admitted to be an ARMY, can we please please please attend their concerts?”, begged Ligia when they announced the concert details few months after the storm within you had settled. “Concerts? You mean not just one day?” you asked bewildered. “YES! I’ve been saving up and finally getting enough money to go worldwide!!” she exclaimed proudly. You shook your head, “I don’t know. I have to look at my schedule first.” She screamed with excitement. “No promises!” you replied laughing. You fixed your schedule the next day you went to work, great thing concerts are scheduled during weekends. The ticket selling was nerve-wracking though! All your friends-ARMY or NOT, help you buy VIP tickets for both days. But Ligia seemed to be wanting more so with her constant nagging, you both applied for soundcheck for both days as well. And life gave you what you’ve wished for- both days with soundcheck privilege. “You’re one lucky, bitch!” she screamed when you told her you got them, unluckily for her she was not chosen. “Well, it was your idea!” you laughed, “I’ll sneak a photo or video for you” you tried to console her. “Namjoon,” she replied. All of a sudden, you gasp. “What??? I said I like Namjoon. Have photos or videos of him doing Bapsae please!” she begged. The memories of your first night came rushing on you. He was indeed great in that movement. You blushed as you tried to contain the giddy feeling taking over you. “Sure,” you managed to answer with cracking voice.

.

.

.

The day of the concert and you and Ligia were too excited and messy all at the same time. Her enthusiasm got over you as well as you both giggle with the posters you made and the outfit you’ve chosen for each other. You were planning something comfortable but Ligia won’t drop the lace and harness the boys were wearing during the previous concerts and concepts. “I’m not sure about this. We’ll be standing, screaming, dancing and crying in these tight outfits for 2 hours!” you screamed. “As long I catch Namjoon’s glimpse, I don’t fucking care!’” she screamed harder. Namjoon, looking at other girls with these outfit. Bitterness takes over. You sighed and let go. You’re not in any position to complain. He’s heavenly, and his dark gaze would turn anyone into feelings not known even to themselves. You shake your head to dismiss another thought of him. The que is outrageous as expected! But one thing that is amazing- ARMY strangers turn into friends the moment you’re in the que. They are all friendly and giddy and for a moment you know you’re part of something big, a family, a universe. And for what it feels like forever you are glad you’re alive in this lifetime witnessing history made by BTS. Ligia decided to come early even if she’s not part of the soundcheck, she wanted to meet all the ARMYs and started distributing gift and tokens to her new found family. You smiled and waved at her when it’s time to enter the soundcheck area. Adrenalin pumping all over your system, like it’s your first time seeing them. You smiled, trying to recall the happy memories you personally experience around the guys. One by one, the guys showed up. Hyping ARMYs and the crowd goes wild. You were screaming as well, and then he saw you. Out of all the crowd, his eyes dart on you. He looked at you from head to toe, and back to your face. You suddenly stopped and bit your lips. The boys were busy saying something to ARMY but here you are locking gaze with their leader. You saw him mouth WOW while looking at you- in a black tight leather mini skirt, mesh stockings. Red lace bralette topped with black leather jacket, choker and harness all over your body. You were cursing Ligia for making you wear such outfit but seeing Namjoon’s reaction made you feel glad. He liked it, clearly. Then Hoseok went to him and bumped him, signalling they’re about to start the soundcheck. Hoseok saw you as well and waved at you with wide eyes and silly smile. Only then you heard ARMYs screaming and you’re taken back to your senses. You pinched yourself and tried not to be too obvious with what’s happening in your body every time Namjoon looks at you. He’s sending butterflies, making your heart beat faster, taking your breath away. You remembered your promise to Ligia and took the risk of getting your phone out. It is prohibited though, but you don’t care anymore. You’re doing this not just for Ligia but for memories of what is happening to you, to him, right here. Like he knows what you are doing he went near to your area, winked sending all the ARMY screaming. Then for a moment, they rested and talked. Hoseok laughed and looked at you and all the members nodded. Jimin went to talk to the producers and Yoongi talked, “Okay this is not in the setlist but guess what?” and on cue, Bapsae played! “Shit” was all you can say as they disperse taking their own places in the stage. And a tease as he is, he chose in front of you. Your eyes widened and he showed his smirk, and you swore as you almost dropped your phone. He was at it- hard and wild. Making you sweat, swallow, squirm and trying to compose yourself. You reminded yourself once again of the reasons why you both decided to stop trying. You were fine, but damn Namjoon teasing you like this. You can feel the heat on your cheeks as he dances in front of you, locking gaze subtlety. He’s enjoying this, and whatever it is you are teasing him as well biting your lips and parting them with a sigh. He laughed and shook his head when the song ended. “WOOOOOOWWW! Amazing! See you later ARMYs!!!” screamed Jungkook. And that marks the

end of soundcheck. Before they went back, he glanced at you one more. You smiled.

You were out and showing the video to Ligia when suddenly you received a text. You quickly grabbed your phone away from her just in time the pop-up notification shows.

Namjoon: Wow. Lace and leather huh?

You: Ligia made me wear it.

Namjoon: Suits you well, Y/N.

You: Stop. I’m not going for the soundcheck tomorrow anymore!

Namjoon: you got 2 days? Just my luck

You: Rest.

Namjoon: See you later.

You furrowed your brows to his last reply but dismissed it anyway. “Who was that? You’re blushing!”, exclaimed Ligia. “No one.” You quickly deleted the messages and hand her your phone, “You want to finish the video or what?” She giddily takes it and melts in her own world.

After the concert, you felt as if you’re drained. Every time a concert ends, it’s like it brings you to a state of separation anxiety where you don’t know what else to do except re-live every moment. It goes like that all the time. You hang in there till the next time you get to hype with them, and longing starts to creep in. They were beyond amazing tonight, setting standards for concerts to the highest. Ligia was so happy and can’t stop talking about them, now confused more than ever between who her real bias is. “So, who’s your bias? I was too focused and I lost count how many times I swerve lanes tonight!” she exclaimed on your way to your apartment. “I don’t have one,” you answered honestly. “They all hit you in different ways, you know? So I threw that bias list and hype up to whoever that gives me the most feels in different situations.” She nodded. “So glad I was able to see them live. We’re lucky” she remarked. Yes, you are. And to your luck, you noticed a car parked outside your building. Great thing Ligia lives on the other building so you went separate ways. “See you tomorrow! And be sure to wear the outfit we’ve chosen or else..!” she bids as she runs to her building. Your eyes started to linger on the car parked. You don’t want to get your hopes up but who would park there with an unreleased Hyundai Palisade?

You dismissed the thought and continue walking towards your door.

Namjoon: 2 minutes

You ignored the message and decided to reply later as you settled in your couch to rest. But your rest was disturbed at exactly 2 minutes. When you opened the door, Namjoon entered quickly, looking back if someone saw him. “Shit, took you so long to go home,” he remarked. “Are you insane? Why are you here, Namjoon! Fuck, there are people outside! You’re trying to get Dispatch expose you, huh?” He laughed and sighed, basking in the sight of you and your concert outfit. Suddenly you became aware of what you have done to him. “No. Hey, this is fun. But Namjoon, we talked about this.” You tried to calm yourself but your voice is failing you, cracking because of how intense he looks at you. “Why did you go to the concert?” he asked. “I’m an ARMY and I missed seeing you perform.” He chuckled. “I- I mean all of you. Pft, not you alone! You know.. you and the boys, and..” you are shaking under his gaze. “Yeah, and why dressed like that? You know you’re attending soundcheck and it’s not crowded” he whispered. You swear his low, dark voice, would be your death. “Ligia’s fault.” “Hmm” he replied and walk closer to you. You tried to walk back, you really need to walk away. This is going to be messy and you made mental note of how this would ruin you and his career. You know better, you have to. But your body froze, your heart beats fast, your breath shallow in anticipation. The butterflies went swirling and your heart just keeps on failing you. You blame your hormones for being too wild tonight, for letting it take over the moment your eyes lock during soundcheck. The intense gaze while dancing, the memories of you having wild sex that winter. The urge, painful urge of longing for his touch. The feelings are all too overwhelming. He feels it, too. That is why he is here, risking everything just to see you. It’s not lust, it’s not just mere body craving. It’s the longing you both have been trying to contain. You both tried ignoring it when he went for closure. You know how much he strained himself not to touch you, kiss you. But tonight, all of the what if’s and risks are slowly fading. You crave for him. God knows how much you miss caressing his silky hair, kissing his soft velvety lips, playfully poking his dimples. Seems like he can read your mind, he sighed. “Y/N,” he whispered and touch his forehead to yours. “what are you doing to me?” “Joonie, I think…” you can’t finish your sentence. You just want to grab him and kiss him like it’s your last day on earth. “Baby, I want you back” he whispered, longing voice, almost begging. “I need you, Y/N. I need my yellow. When you left, I struggled a lot. I am good at hiding, but this time, seeing you here. I am willing to take the risk. Please, come back” he hugged you tight you can feel his heart beating fast. “Namjoon, we’ve talked about this. It’s a big risk for you and the whole group” you cannot deny the fact that you wanted him, too. You wanted him and willing to do whatever it takes, but what if you ruin his image? The group worked hard to where they are now. You can’t just take it away from them just because you are deeply in love with their leader. “We are all adults, we are humans. We are not perfect just as the society wants us to be. We need love, too” he whispered. You melted, like a butter your heart melts away. Who are you to deprive the love Namjoon deserves? Who are you to take his yellow away? You are coward, and you’re making him look pathetic to be begging for you. “Baby, I want to. You know how much I love you. But what if…” he didn’t let you finish. You admitted that you’re still in love with him through these years is enough for him. He slowly dip his face towards you, inch by inch you can clearly see him brightening, gaining his own beam of light. He loves you, you love him.

Whatever it takes, you throw all your worries away. You kissed him. You let your love and adoration to Kim Namjoon take over. The kiss was surprisingly slow, no rush despite the years of being apart. You take it all in, passion and pure ecstasy. His lips as soft as ever, his hands caress your back delicately as if afraid this is not real. It’s like your hand has a mind of its own, you caress his soft silver hair. His hands travels from your back to your waist and before you know it, he’s carrying you to the couch. You sit on his lap, aware of all that is happening inside his trousers and the heat building up between you. You need to feel him, you want him so bad you deepened the kiss. His tongue gently asking for permission, and you let him in. Soft moans and gasps are all you can hear in the silent living room. Before you could go any further, you break it. “Why?” he whispered. “You still have concert for tomorrow, Baby. And as much as I want you to spend the night here, I do. God, I really do. But I want to-“ “Let’s take things slow” he finished. He smiled sincerely and kiss you again, more passionate than ever. You nodded and he pulled you into a tight hug. “Oh how much I miss you, Y/N. I don’t want to let go.” He chuckled. “Me, too. So much that it hurts. But for now, you are RM. And as RM, you have to be at your 101% tomorrow. Today, you’ve been so rough and full of energy. I don’t want to have that energy all to myself tonight.” You teased. “But what about your outfit? I wanna ruin it, rip it off. Replace that choker with my hands” he whispered. “I love that. But not today” you teased back. He grunted but brings you into a tight hug. “So this means, you’re mine. Right?” he asked. “Silly! I am always yours, Kim Namjoon. Always.” You kissed him once more, savouring the feeling of being enveloped into the arms of your man once more. You were enjoying the comfiest hug when his phone buzzed. He answered but still holding you close. “Yes. I’m here at Y/N’s apartment. Shut up! No, I’m going back later. Let me fucking enjoy my girlfriend, Hoseok! STOP CALLING ME!” he laughed as he ended the call. “What was that?” you asked. “He keeps on asking if I’m coming home tonight or if I want to meet them at the stadium tomorrow instead” he chuckled. “Hoseok and his cuteness!” you giggled. “They missed you, you know. They saw you today, and they keep on bugging me to bring you there” he looked at you, asking for permission. “I missed them, too. But we’ll work it out. After what happened to Yoongi, I don’t know if I’m even welcome anymore,” you admitted. “Hey. Babe, it’s fine. When you left that night, we had discussions. They fully understand now. He even asked about you today. He saw you, too” he explained. “And…?” you bit your lips, bracing for a heart-break. “He wants to make up. So please come with me after the concert tomorrow?” he showed his dimples, acting cutely. “What if someone sees me?” you are worried and questions are starting to pile up again. “We got it covered, just like the old times. Besides, we’re adults. We’re all going to date one day, it just so happens that I got you first” he chuckled. You rolled your eyes on him, setting your head on his broad chest. “You’ve gotten big” you teased. “Wait till I show you. Now?” he whispered. “Not today” you laughed.

Your next concert outfit was the complete opposite of yesterday. You choose to wear BT21 pyjamas, complete with headband and other accessories. Since Ligia is wearing Koya, you chose to wear Chimmy. When Namjoon saw you at the soundcheck, he can’t stop laughing and even pointed it to Jimin, to which he almost rolls on the floor with too much laughing. It was fun seeing them doing the things they love, and seeing Namjoon so happy today. Others also noticed it by the amount of SNS updates of how he was looking so fine today and his dimples deeper than ever. To your surprise, they change some of the song line up for day 2. They added Outro: Her. You have mixed emotions over that song. The song he has written for you in under 20 minutes. You were on the phone then, and suddenly he interrupted you. “Wait, baby. I have something… stay on the line” The next thing you know, he was singing. His vocals that soothe you, and the sweet humming while he tries to put it all together. When it was complete, he let you hear it. “You’re the first to hear this demo. My HER” he said excitedly. “Also, your tear?” you asked sweetly. He chuckled, “yeah, my start and end”.

And now, hearing it after the breakup and now reconciliation, it hits you. All to different places but most importantly in your heart. He is so sincere and innocent and pure, and your heart swells with pride. Kim Namjoon, the philosopher, all yours. You look at him while he’s singing on the stage and it seems like he’s looking for someone- YOU. You were in barricade, so you are very near the stage. You screamed so loud even Ligia was startled. “KIM NAMJOON! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I WOULD NEVER HURT YOU!” And just like that, he saw you. He beamed and went to you, continue singing. To others, it may seem normal as the boys usually do that-even to the point of taking videos of themselves using ARMYs phone. But to you, it’s different, it is special. He sit, looking at you while singing. You stood there, calmly crying while Ligia’s looking at you then Namjoon then back to you, while her eyes wide open and mouth dropping. It hits her. She knew. But you don’t care anymore. You only cared about Namjoon. Your universe. When the song ended, they did their ending spiel. One by one they thank ARMY for two amazing nights and promising to see ARMYs again. They are set for world tour and you brace yourself for another rollercoaster ride.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?” Ligia shouted after the concert ended. “What was what?” you pretended to know nothing. “The fuck! Tell me the truth! How’d you know Namjoon? First the coffee shop, then random texts, and now HER?” Ligia interrogated. “You have to stop reading fanfictions! Jeez!” you tried to shake it off by laughing at her reaction. “Oh don’t give me that shit, Y/N! Truth, now” she demanded. “Look, I am so tired. Can we talk about this tomorrow?” you smiled reassuringly. “You were flirting with him on the stage! And..” she gasp. “What?” You look at where Ligia is looking. “Babe,” Namjoon called you, walking towards you. “What is happening. I’m going to pass out! You… he..” she can’t finish her sentence. “What in the world, Namjoon?” you scolded him in front of your frozen friend. “It’s taking too long. I had to steal you away from…?” Namjoon looked at Ligia. “L-Ligia” she answered like she’s under a spell. “That’s enough drooling over my man, Ligia” you jokingly warned. “What the fuck, you traitor! He’s my bias!” she said jokingly but internally screaming. “What about you two get in the car before dispatch comes here?” Namjoon whispered. You pulled Ligia with you, who is clearly still in shocked. You were both greeted by the security, no other BTS members. They must have been too tired or having after party. “Where to?” asked one bodyguard. “The restaurant near Han River please” Namjoon replied, enveloping you into tight hug and kissing you on your forehead. Ligia shriek by Namjoon’s gesture. “So.. you two? If you don’t mind me asking?” interrogated Ligia. The security answered, “All information about personal life of BTS members must be kept in private. Should there be breached with the member’s personal life, please know that you are held liable and may be called to address in the court.” “Holy shit. That strict huh?” Ligia replied. You and Namjoon chuckled, and the body guard cleared his throat. “You’re in this mess, girl. Sorry” you laughed. “I still have a lot of questions though” she insisted. You shook your head and smiled. “Shit, I should’ve went straight to my apartment!” she sighed. “I trust you. But by this time, Bighit might have your information. Shhh. So” you joked around. “For fucking real? I don’t want my visa to be revoked over this relationship.” She laughed. “We’re kidding. And yes, Y/N is my girlfriend” Namjoon answered. “Lucky you! I might start crying now” she replied, literally teary-eyed. “Hey, I’m not gonna take your bias-RM, away. Kim Namjoon is mine, RM is for all ARMY” you replied. He tightened his hug around you, “I think I’m the lucky one.” He kissed you in the forehead once again.

The dinner went well, with Ligia talking and asking about how cool being the biggest boy band right now, the groups plan for the future, and keeps praising them and thanking them for all the music and inspiration they give to everyone. Namjoon feeds her with details about the preparation from the concerts while subtly keeping his hands tightly wrapped around your waist. He doesn’t want to be rude but you know he wants to rest now. When Ligia run out of things to say, she finally retreats. “so, how am I going home now?” she chuckled. “We’ll drop you off your apartment.” Replied the bodyguard. “What about you, Y/N?” she asked. “Oh she’s coming with me.” Namjoon replied casually. Her eyes wide and smirked, “oh..” You shake your head with her reaction. “Seems like you both are ready to bed, wearing pyjamas at concerts.” Namjoon chuckled.

After dropping Ligia, you went to your apartment to get some stuff. You decided to visit the boys and celebrate with them before they go to intense rehearsals for their upcoming world tour. They’re going to the US for couple of months and you have decided to stay rather than go with them, besides work needs you here and you haven’t had time to file your leave. You’re okay with it. You have manage more than a year without seeing each other, what is months compared to it. At least now, you know he’s just literally around the corner when they’re back home.

The boys greeted you one by one. They are as welcoming as ever, and unlike the previous encounter at the restaurant, Yoongi came in hugging you and ruffling your hair. “Welcome home, Y/N” he said. “Oh Yoongi, I missed you. Sorry about-“ he didn’t let you finish. “Let’s forget about it. It’s done. We’ll start anew!” He pulled you in and you settled beside Namjoon as they set up their table for after party. “Oh shit, we have VLive schedule! We promised ARMY!” reminded Jin. “Oh okay, no worries. I’ll leave you guys alone. Will just roam around Namjoon’s room” you said goodbye to them and settle in his room, opening your Vlive as if you’re not in the same house with them. When they started the live feed, you noticed your bag near Namjoon. “Shit!!! ARMY eyes!” you immediately texted him informing about the bag. He stood up and clumsily took your bag away. Comments came rushing on VLive asking about the bag and Jin trying to find a perfect excuse. “I am fond of bags” Hoseok saved him. “You want to see what’s inside my bag? Maybe I’ll do that on the next VLive.” He added. Namjoon came running inside, giving you your bag. “I’m sorry” you lowered your gaze. “Hey, it’s all good, Baby. Just an excuse to kiss you, I’ve been dying to kiss you!” He kissed you passionately until you hear the boys shouting for Namjoon. He immediately ran out, hair dishevelled and Taehyung almost choke laughing. “Hyung, your hair. A mess! You must’ve-” the boys cut him out and he realized he almost spilled the tea. They all laughed and being silly talking about everything they love about ARMY, the concert, and how excited they are for the upcoming world tour. They promised to go on live during their breaks and will go home as soon as it’s over. “We know you will be waiting for us, we will come back as soon as possible!” Namjoon promised. “In an instant, yeah hyung?” teased Taehyung once more, sending Namjoon blushing, and his eyes nowhere to be found. “Gosh, these guys” you laughed.

After the VLive ended, you went out and joined them to their after-party. He couldn’t take his hands off of you, drawing circles on your lower back. They are already getting drunk- Hoseok turning into tomato red, Seokjin louder than ever, Yoongi being savage but turns out he is really funny, Jimin can’t barely open his eyes from too much laughing, Jungkook dozing off, Taehyung started to sing every song on their new album, and your man whispering how excited he is to be finally introducing you to his family. You almost choke at his plan. Meeting his family is a big deal especially in their culture. You can’t just bring someone without being sure of your future with her. “You’re probably just drunk. Come on, let’s go!” you tried to pull him up but his stronger. He pulled you on his lap and start kissing you. “So this is what were witnessing every day?” Taehyung remarked. “Hmm mmm” Namjoon replied, mouth still exploring yours. “AISSHHH! Get a room!” Yoongi shouted. “That’s hot!” remarked Hoseok. “Oh my god! Stop! I’m getting turned on!” joked Jimin. You laughed and tried to push Namjoon away but he deepened the kiss. “Show off! Just clean up after your mess. Not a single drop in the our common area!” Seokjin exclaimed. “Baby-stop” you managed to finally free yourself from Namjoon. He laughed and you can now clearly see the expressions of the members. They have their phone on both of you, probably taking photos and videos for blackmailing. “Stop it, you guys!” you said embarrassed. You covered your face and they all laughed. “We’re just happy you are finally here, Y/N. Really. Namjoon’s glowing again. And he’s writing tracks more than ever” Hoseok commented. “I’m never leaving. I’m here to stay” you reassured them. “You’re gonna live here? Great! But I’m serious about the rule- if you’re going to do it in all common areas, please clean up” Seokjin commented. “No! Just learn how to knock in my room and even my studio, especially you Jimin and Jungkook” Namjoon replied. They both nodded, and the night ended with more laughter and more beer.

You woke up with a very bad headache and it took you minutes to make up where you are. Too many KAWS figures, bonsai plants, paintings… “Namjoon?” you immediately called out his name but he’s nowhere to be found. You went out and the boys greeted you, the living room smells like pancake and the maknaes running around chasing after the last banana milk that Jimin is holding. “Where’s Joonie?” you asked Jin while helping him prepare the table for breakfast. “RKive I think” he replied. You went there and smile at the sight of your man. Brows furrowed, lips plumped, he’s clearly in the zone of making another track he didn’t even noticed you walked in. “Baby, do you want to have your breakfast here?” you politely asked, trying not to disturbed him. “Oh, sorry I didn’t notice you, babe. Good morning, sunshine!” he enveloped you into tight hug and kissed your forehead. “What are you up to?” you asked, noticing the emptied coffee cups on his desk. “Working on new tracks. There are so much to do, I don’t want to miss the ideas that came rushing this morning” he pulled you into his lap and wrapped your arms around your waist. “Breakfast first, please? I don’t want you get sick especially you’re going away” you pouted. “Hmm, what about dessert first?” he whispered. You furrowed your brows, not sure if you have the same meaning of dessert. “What dessert?” you innocently asked. He pointed at his groin, which you notice a big tent. “Oh, need help with that?” you replied playfully. He winked and in an instant you pulled yourself up from his lap, turned his chair around and dropped on your knees. “Fuck,” he chuckled while quickly letting his fleece shorts drop. You are still amaze by the sight of Namjoon’s huge dick despite having to ride it many times before. The years without him, you haven’t forgot this amazing view and you’d relive it a million times. But right here, right now, you can’t help but be thankful of following your heart rather than living in what if’s. “Are you just gonna stare at it?” he chuckled. “You’re a god.” You managed to reply before slowly running your tongue along his shaft. You could hear his deep moans. He grabbed your hair to have better view of how you beautifully you suck his dick. You take it all in, tasting his sweet-salty precum. You circled you tongue on his tip, gently running from side to side, trying your best to please your man. “Fuck, Y/N. You’re so fucking hot!” he managed to say in between his gripped teeth. Jaw clenching, and clearly trying not to go deeper to hurt you, you gathered all the courage and deep swallowed him whole until you can feel it at the back of your throat. His eyes were wide and he tightened his grip on your head “Shit baby! You’ve been a practicing?” he has a tinge of annoyance in his voice. You’re taken back to that night when you first had sex, it was still new to you. “hmm” you replied, sending the vibrations to every inch of his thick manhood. You let go for a second to catch your breath. “No, sir. It was you, only you!” And that’s the truth. No matter how intense your longing for him or any human touch, you’ve never bed a guy even after your break up. You can’t think of sucking other dicks except Namjoon’s. “Such a good girl,” he managed to reply before you started sucking him again. Namjoon’s moan is all you can ever hear in his studio and you start bobbing your head faster, determined to make him cum in your mouth. “Shit baby. I’m cumming… fuck.. Y/N ahh” he filled your mouth with his warm, heavenly juice. You looked at him and swallowed, making sure no drip on the carpet. You suck him clean! “Fuck that is so freaking hot!” he exclaimed while guiding you back to his lap. “Your turn, baby” he whispered. You bit your lips and gently shook your head. “What? Why? I want to make you feel good.” He pleaded. “Tonight, my love. You have full access” you teased and bit his earlobe. He groaned and laughed, pulling you closer to him.

You went out after Jin keeps on knocking, telling the food is getting cold. They were all shocked and started laughing when you emerge. “What the hell are you laughing at?” Namjoon answered. “You realized your door was not closed yeah?” Hoseok exclaimed, chuckling. You buried your self in Namjoon’s back in embarrassment, prayed that a UFO is real and that they’ll suck you up any second now. “Shit sorry” chuckled Namjoon. “Pft, it’s alright. It’s not like Hoseok has been silent during sex, too” Taehyung respond. “Hoseok?” you looked at his innocent smile. “Shut up, Taehyung. It was a one-night stand!” he yelled back laughing. You shake your head over their mischievousness, somewhat it comforts you. They are adults, indeed. And they need skin ship, too, like everyone else. Sometimes, seeing them playfully talk about adult stuff and just being their own selves inside their house makes me feel like they have another persona. Being an idol must’ve been tiring, especially they started too young, and society has been very keen to each move they make. You settled down and joined them for breakfast, thinking about how lucky you are to be spending these days with them.

World tour preparation was tiring, even for you. You decided to go home that night but Namjoon asked you to come back. “I really wanted to make up to you, spend the days here before we go for the tour. Please, baby?” he whispered with his cute little puppy eyes. You can’t help but say yes to his cuteness. He giggled like a playful kid before calling the security to drive you up in your apartment and pick few clothes and stuff. On your way back, you decided to buy the boys some ice cream cake and banana milk. It’s a small gesture as a thank you gift for welcoming you again in their home and being so supportive of you and Namjoon. Jimin yelp in joy when he saw the ice cream cake, and Jungkook immediately take the banana milk, carefully labelling each for the members. Jin continues to impress you with his cooking skills, making you feel embarrass for not cooking deliciously as he does. “Aish, Y/N! You will learn through the years. Even if you and Namjoon get married, you will still be with us so I can teach you all the cooking skills!” he said proudly. You blushed at the thought of you and Namjoon and marriage, but it’s too early to tell. You’re still starting over, testing waters,, though you are quite sure you can see him in your future. You noticed him missing again, while the guys are gathered up for a movie marathon. And then suddenly, Vlive notified you that BTS is live. You opened the notification and you see him showing off his new collections in his studio. You smiled proudly as he talks about the future plans of BTS and the new tracks he’s working on. Somewhere though, in the middle of his VLive he showed a pair of baby shoes. He said it’s for his collection, accessory of some sort. The tiny brown baby shoes! “Wooopppss, someone’s planning for the future.” Laughed Taehyung. “Oh my, you’re pregnant Y/N????” asked Jimin. “NO! no no no no no! Oh my god no!” you said blushing. “You can tell us. Are we going to be fathers?” insisted Hoseok. “No….I don’t know. No!” you said laughing. It is impossible, you haven’t had sex yet. But of course, you can’t say that to them, a little privacy is precious especially living with them. You immediately sent him a message:

You: Kim Namjoon, are you out of your fucking mind? The boys are grilling me now asking if THEY ARE GOING TO BE FATHERS?! WTH does that even mean?

You saw him on Vlive reading something and he laughed. You are not sure if he’s reading vlive comments or he’s reading your message. Either way, you have forgiven him for such silliness, especially seeing him how he brightens up when he showed the baby shoes. One day, someday, Joonie you promised yourself. When the VLive ended, you stared at him trying to look mad. He laughed and scooped you from your sit, twirling you around before sitting and putting you on his lap. You saw Taehyung grinning as if thinking of mischievous things. “So, baby shoes huh?” he started. “Taehyung, stop. I am not pregnant” you laughed. “Well, not for now.” He replied making you shake your head. “When that time comes, we will let you know, Tae” Namjoon reassured, “But for now, Y/N are going to bed. Might as well you guys too. Long day ahead tomorrow. Meeting with Bang PDnim and the tour team.” He added. The guys all had mischievous smiles as they say their goodnights to you.

“Urgh today’s tiring, and I missed you!” he whined. “I was just out to get my stuff, you missed me already? What will happen to you when you’re in tour?” you asked. “Come with me?” His question came as a surprise. “Baby you know I can’t do that. People will start to wonder.”

“But what if Bighit hires you?” he insisted. “As what? Translator? You already know English. You’ve been doing it since then.” You laughed at the idea of being their translator. “No, no, baby. You’re needed. I’ll talk to Bang and-“you didn’t let him finish. You put one finger on his mouth to make him drop the topic. “Baby, I’m okay with my work now. And if you ask Bang PDnim, he might refuse. Code of conduct, all the policies..you know.” You sighed. “But you’re my girlfriend before they hire you, so technically we didn’t breach employee policies?” His being a smart-ass on this one, he has a point though. “I would love to stay by your side all the time, but it will look like a huge favour and special treatment especially I am your girlfriend” you insisted. “Just please try?” he kissed your forehead. He’s not going to drop this of until you sighed and nodded. He smiled sweetly and kissed you. It was a sweet, passionate kiss at first but the moment you hold unto his neck, you can feel the heat throughout your body. It’s been too long, way too long, that you’ve been wanting to feel him. You cannot hold on any longer so you deepened the kiss. You heard him let out a moan, a cue that he wants what you want as well. Tongues teasing, lip-biting. His hands roamed around your body, tightened his grip on your waist and gently laid you on the bed. “Lock the door!” you reminded him. He jumped as quickly, almost tripping which made you giggle at his clumsiness, and in less than 5 seconds he’s back on top of you. “Oh finally! All mine!” he whispered, almost ripping his shirt as he struggled to get off. You can feel your core getting hot, with every kiss and touch. He bites your lips teasingly, making you moan. You deepened the kiss getting as aggressive as he is. He found your sweet spot on your neck, sucking and biting, leaving marks as he goes down to the curves of your breast. He removes your dress in one swift motion, leaving you in your lace bra and panties. His gaze turning dark as he roams his eyes through your breast down to your core. “So fucking gorgeous! And all mine!” he whispered as he licks your cleavage making you tighten your grip on his hair. “and fucking taste good, too" he added. You prepared for this night, wearing a front-lock red brassiere that screams fuck me daddy. “Strip for me", he commanded. “Hmm, all bossy are we?” you teased. “Do it or you’re not gonna have any of this" he grinned while removing his boxers. His dick hard, reddish, and ready. You bit your lips and stood up. “Don’t make a move, don’t dare touch yourself “ you commanded. Two can play this game, you thought. He grinned and positioned himself on the bed frame. You slowly pull one strap, so slow he groaned. You are basically eye-fucking him, if there’s even a thing. To his surprise, you started slow dancing as you unlock your bra. Throwing it in front of him. You can hear him groaning and trying hard not to touch himself with your own little show. “Fuck, baby. I can’t wait to slide my cock on that” he growled. “hmmm I’d love that. Can’t wait to feel the friction here…” you touched your nipples and slowly caress your breast. You glide your hands on your stomach, “and here, too. Your hot mouth sucking, biting…” You slowly, soooo slowly, shake your hips to get out of your lace underwear, “your tongue, fingers, and your hard cock here" you were about to touch your self but he grabbed you, spinning you around, dropping you on the mattress. You moaned by his aggressiveness and eagerness. “Oh Baby, can’t wait to fuck you hard, you’ll be sore for days!” he whispered as he playfully bite your nipple. “oh shit, Joon!” you moaned. You can feel your core dripping. You needed some friction. You started grinding getting ready to take whatever Namjoon’s going to offer. “Look at you so needy" he suck your breast so hard you know it’ll leave marks and bruises the next day. You tried pulling him, scratching his porcelain skin. “Baby, pleasssee" you beg. “Say it. What do you want, Princess?” he grinned. “touch me! Fuck Namjoon. Or…or thighs! Friction. Now!” you

almost scream. He chuckled and pulled you, making you sit on one of his thigh. “You asked for thigh. Thigh is all you get" You take it, whatever that could satisfy your longing. You grind, not minding the mess and juice scattered on his precious well-tone thigh. “fuck, I can feel your wetness! You’re wild!” he chuckled. “shut up, suck me" you guided his head on your neck. You want him to leave marks all over your body, a mark that signs you’re his and he’s yours. And he did. You moaned by the intensity of each bite, but it’s not enough. “fuck me, baby. Hard" You’re almost begging. “thought you’d never ask" he replied.

He guides you and you slowly sink into his long, thick, hot rod. Your wetness helping you both settle, adjusting to each other. “shit your tight. And wet..god Y/N” he moaned. With each grunt and moan and sucking he does, it gives you more courage to be rough at him, too. You started circling your hips, and he let’s you do as you please. He tightens his grips into your waist and pumps you until you both find your rhythm. “baby, I'm cumming" you bite his shoulder to muffle your own moan. “Go ahead, baby. Cum for me. You’re a hot mess and fuck I love you so much!” he continued going deeper and deeper until you reach your high. “Turn around, hold here" he guides your hands to the bed frame and lifts your butt, slapping it before sinking in real deep. “fuck Namjoon!” you yelped with the sudden sting, but it feels you nice you have to ask again. He circled his hips, hard and deep, one hand on your waist and the other in your boob. Too much sensation, overwhelming and with every thrust you can hear the bed frame creaking. You had to try not to scream with each thrust, so you suck on Namjoon's finger instead, biting it at the process but he didn’t care. He’s too focus riding you and making sure you hear his praises about you and moaning your name. “baby, where do you---" you didn’t let him finish his question, you tightened your walls around him making him moan louder “inside!” you replied. You reach your high at the same time, moaning each other’s name. He gently pressed and massage your navel as you come to stop, making you feel good as you both calm down. “Wow baby!” he chuckled as you both collapse to the bed. He flips you over and kissed your forehead, then your lips. As sweetly, passionately, and heavenly. “I love you, Y/N” he whispered on your lips. “I love you, my Namjoon" you replied, making him blush.

“I missed fucking you that hard,” he chuckled, as you both catch your breaths. “We have all the time, baby!” you responded, enveloped in his arms. “But… how are we going to explain the ripped sheets?” you added. “We might need to stock up linens here from now on,” he replied.

After cleaning up, he went out to look for fresh linens. Luckily, the guys are all asleep now, more like you prayed they’re really asleep now, realizing how hard and loud he made you cum. “Baby, please consider joining us in our tour? Even just this leg? I can’t bear a day without you..not again?” he whispered when you’re both settling to sleep. “I promise. I’ll take a vacation leave and if it’s approved, I’ll come. Don’t get your hopes up just yet. I’m not going to drop my work; I’ll just try being your translator for this leg.” He made a cute face, the one that his dimples are showing, eyes closed, and then getting shy right after. Your heart melts every time he does that and wonder how lucky you are to have him in your life. Yes, you are never going to let go. Not anymore. He deserves the world, he deserves someone who he can share the real Namjoon with, someone who will be his shoulder through ups and downs. Someone who can accept all the flaws and cons of dating someone like him. You are ready to fight for him, against all odds. You are ready to give your life to Kim Namjoon.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Author's note: Planned to end it here but I guess I'll be making Part Three soon 😂🤷‍♀️

[ask-the-milgram-prisoners]

[META] Blog intro (pls read)

Hi, this ask blog was created by @doctorbunny (me!) and is going to be all in good fun.

What is MILGRAM?

MILGRAM is a multimedia mystery project by Takuya Yamanaka and DECO*27. It is a series on YouTube of animated music videos about 10 strangers who have all commited murder (in some way) and been brought to the mysterious MILGRAM prison run by Jackalope and amnesiac guard Es. There is also audience participation as we get to vote once per day as to whether we think a prisoner can be forgiven or not (the English translation uses 'guilty/not guilty' but do not be confused all these characters are said to be guilty right from the start, we're voting on if we can forgive them) As I write this, we're approaching the last MV of season 1 so now is a great time to start if you haven't already! [link to the official YT channel]

Ground Rules

Mostly just basic stuff:

Don't send in asks that are bigoted/discriminatory/exclusionary in any way

Don't send in any NSFW/sexual asks

Don't try to start drama (about irl issues or fandom junk)

I struggle with tone myself, so I'll usually give benefit of the doubt here, but please try to not be rude

Don't bash any characters/ships (you don't know who someone else's favourites are, after all)

Don't even bother trying to send in harassment. It will be deleted without comment

Don't send in personal information/trauma. This is a public blog and i am just an internet guy, not a therapist.

I love theories but this is a character blog so do not send in theories/speculation about what will happen in the story

On a similar note, since this is an unoffical blog, I do not know where the canon story will go, so do not send in asks about the character's murders (EG 'Shidou, how do you feel about killing so many people?' or 'Haruka, who did you kill?')

This is going to be a light hearted blog, so whilst MILGRAM deals with heavy subjects like abuse and murder, I will not really be diving into that stuff so keep heavier asks to a minimum, even if they are based on canon things.

Don't send in asks that could be major triggers (so mentions of SA, EDs or SH, for example)

Shipping

In MILGRAM ship names are based on prisoner numbers: - So 0204 would refer to Yuno (Prisoner 002) being shipped romantically with Muu (Prisoner 004)

I enjoy shipping and do prefer some ships over others, however since starting this blog I realised that I don't really have interest in including that stuff here

If I do make ship content it will probably not be in ask comics

Feel free to send in ship-based asks anyway but I may not end up answering it depending on my opinion about the ship/specific ask (don't take this personally, for example I don't ship Mahiru and Shidou but there's no deep reason for that, I'm just not interested in it and if you enjoy it then I'm happy for you!)

Originally I was going to have a list here of ships I did/didn't ship but what i was into kinda changed over time so maintaining a list would be a pain, since I might not even end up drawing it here anyway

Already stated not to send me discourse. But I'm repeating that here because I just have no interest in that stuff.

Warnings/disclaimers

As mentioned above, MILGRAM deals with some heavy topics. I want this blog to be a fun place. If anything darker happens I will try to tag it but please feel free to ask me to tag something! (but if you can handle canon MILGRAM, you'll probably be ok here) (sorry this was so long but I wanted everything in one place)

edit 1: changed up the Shipping section a bit

[davidmann95]

"Infinite Frontier": has DC actually learned anything and will things actually be better?

‘Learned anything’ might not be the right way of putting it, because this doesn’t seem to be a refinement on anything they’ve done before so much as - as Bleeding Cool speculated in November (that’s a donotlink so go ahead and check it out) - laying the groundwork for a much bigger shift a little ways down the road to fully digital-first titles collected in trades and only a handful of remaining regular periodicals centered around the biggest marquee names and aimed more at bookstore and supermarket audiences than the comics direct market, presumably alongside OGNs and some prestige/Black Label material. They’re consolidating their titles around recognizable names, making a Walmart-style anthology a tentpole Batman title and experimenting with fewer but thicker monthly comics with backups, and slapping relatively few #1s on even major shifts like Bendis/Marquez on Justice League which would seem to suggest the BIG change is still to come. For now, and again this seems to line up with this being the endgame, the goal seems less than a handful of remarkable titles than linewide consistency; few if any of these books are going to end up all-time classics even if there are several standouts, but even the worst of the bunch look merely tepid rather than total disasters in the making, and in that regard it feels like the improved version of the basic Rebirth creative ethos. They’re here to button up their shirts, demonstrate some professionalism and competence, and prove they can make a model aimed outside the Wednesday Warriors work.

Anonymous said: You know how you wanted Superman writers to start harping on how “he’s just a regular guy” and do cosmic space god Superman? Apparently PKJ has said he plans to do exactly that with Superman in his run. Also seems like Jon will get one of the main books and Clark will take over the other, so Bendis won’t be writing him, he’ll be written by PKJ or Lewis most likely. Interview is on Coliseum of Comics YT channel.

Anonymous said: I don’t think Bendis is writing Hon as Superman. Given that FS seems to be dictating the direction of the line, Lewis or Watters seem more likely for that job. Would prefer either of them, they’re both good indie workers.

Between tweets, this interview that I’ve had relayed to me by a friend, and new solicit material: the plan seems to be that PKJ will only be handling both Superman and Action Comics for about a year, and after a big Action story illustrated by Mikel Janin he’ll remaining on that while Superman goes to someone else. And with very pointed notes that there should be space for both Clark and Jon ‘between the two books’, Jon standing in front of Clark in multiple promotional images, and Superman #29′s mention of “a new Superman”, it seems likely that Jon will in fact be taking on the title himself in the present along with Superman proper (probably as you said with Lewis or maybe Watters - if it’s not a self-contained future book I doubt Bendis is doing it after all) while Clark and PKJ remaining on Action. He even apparently said he was involved with the original 5G plans as they morphed into Future State, and that stuff from that is going to continue to be mined: between this and the Future State Batman being in the Infinite Frontier group shot along with Yara Flor Wonder Girl and the Flash of Future State: Suicide Squad, I think we’re gonna see a lot of legacy characters taking over in the present and that’s when we’ll see the big new wave of #1s absent here (probably paired with some cosmic type like Waverider or Spectre going “events are happening earlier than they were ordained!”). I’d go so far as to guess the digital first vs. few remaining periodicals will be divided between the new generation heroes and ‘classic’ material, though which is which would depend on DC’s priorities and which they feel would be best serviced where.

Further thoughts on the books outside my previous immediate initial takes now that full solicits are out:

* Is Justice League just being used as a catch-all for all the stuff the other ‘Infinite’ branded covers didn’t cover, or is this indicative that Bendis/Marquez Justice League will rope in a lot of characters beyond its immediate cast, given the big DCU group shot for this line was already on Infinite Frontier proper? The solicit mentions Flash for instance being part of the team even though he’s only on this cover, not the main one.

* That Superman Red & Blue is being launched alongside this - with further King stuff in the works for Black Label too - would seem to suggest that DC’s actively going to continue putting together prestige works, rather than putting those entirely by the wayside in favor of the mass-market stuff. There was word awhile back that Black Label might be going under as part of this shift, so glad that a place for a more creatively free approach seems to be remaining intact. Also they got the Final Fantasy logo guy to do a Superman cover, so cool!

* Ok, so it’s a new Swamp Thing altogether, along with more next generation stuff maybe that’ll be an in for me.

* Oh thank god the Batman logo is finally good again after a decade. Not exactly excited though for these Williamson backups with Damian, even should him seeming to rejoin Talia turn out to be a misdirect.

* “In the aftermath of Dark Nights: Death Metal, catch a glimpse of brave new worlds within the DC Universe...but what are these strange planets? As we delve into the parallel lives of the Man of Steel and the Dark Knight, we'll meet new villains, new heroes, alternate realities, and a transdimensional collision that you will need to see to believe! It's the dastardly debut of a cadre of new villains, including the Spider Lady and her poisonous webs, Dr. Atom, who sports a Kryptonite pendant, and the maniacal machinations of the Unknown Wizard! You've never seen Batman and Superman like this before—so buckle up and get ready for the start of a new era courtesy of writer Gene Luen Yang and artist Ivan Reis!” THIS IS EVERYTHING I WANT FROM COMICS, INJECT IT INTO EVERY VEIN IN MY BODY. I assume this is where we’ll see Calvin Ellis given his presence on the Infinite Frontier cover? And is Reis gonna stick around, or will it be a different artist each issue for this multiverse story?

* Spoilers for the apparent new Wonder Woman status quo behind rot13: Fb rfcrpvnyyl nsgre ure nccnerag qrzvfr va Qrngu Zrgny naq gur pbfzvp fgnaqneq frg ol Vzzbegny Jbaqre Jbzna, vg frrzrq bqq gur svefg fgbel ol gur fnzr grnz gnxvat bire ure obbx jnf tbvat gb or nobhg ure svtugvat Ivxvatf. Ohg ab, fur'f va Inyunyyn, orpnhfr fur'f nccneragyl nyy nobhg fbyivat TBQ CEBOYRZF abj. Tbq, cyrnfr yrg guvf grnz fgvpx nebhaq naq svanyyl znxr guvf obbx nyy vg fubhyq or.

* And as one era begins, another ends with Grant Morrison’s alleged final DC comics arriving on the same day in March with Wonder Woman: Earth One Volume 3 and The Green Lantern Season Two #12.

[cyanisbirdmom666]

AGH I need to ✨vent✨

Most of the stuff said below the cut will be about stress, religion (Christianity), betrayal, frustration, and sadness. So yeah if you don’t wanna read about it just keep scrolling. I just wanna tell someone (in this case, Tumblr) because I don’t know who else to tell. My brother’s over it already, and Melon

Also most of the stuff down there won’t make sense since I’m not feeling great (honestly I’m mostly confused) so read at your own risk.

[context] I’m a religious girl. I go to church, read the Bible, pray and PRAISE JESUS HALLELUJAH. But I’m also very lonely. I have a few friends and they’re all from church. I have two best friends. I’ll introduce you to them, using their nicknames for privacy reasons. I’ll start with the Pastor’s family. My Pastor’s name is Ramen, and he has two daughters, Melon and Safari. Melon is my best friend. The Pine family has three kids, Beanstalk, Zuko, and Suki. Suki is my best friend, Beanstalk and Zuko are my brother, Sokka, best friends. The Doctor’s family has only one kid, Marlin. He and Zuko are BFFS. Inseparable. We all work together at church. Suki, Melon, and I work with the cameras- we’re the camerawomen that record videos for our church’s YT channel. Ramen’s mom in Cuba watches our videos, people in Mexico also watch them- there’s even a woman in Germany who watches them! Safari, Beanstalk, and Zuko handle the techy stuff. Audio, Ramen’s microphone, powerpoints, and the editing of the videos we record. Sokka’s job is just to make us laugh, and Marlin is there for support. We make a great team. And I have a feeling Beanstalk and Safari like eachother- they’re always together and Beanstalk have Safari a bouquet of flowers to her on Valentine’s Day. Is that part important? Probably not but I added it anyway. Let’s move on.

Sometimes Ramen comes over to my house to talk to my parents. It’s not often but it’s happened before. Usually talk about adult-church stuff (ie. planning activities, money, or just to talk) that I don’t care about. My great grandma died recently (she was also very religious, she had a great relationship with God. I miss her) so I assumed Ramen came over to talk to my dad about that (comfort I suppose).

I don’t mind when he comes over, because he always brings his daughters, Safari and Melon. We all hang out in my room and watch movies or do homework together. It’s fun. But yesterday, Wednesday May 12th, was different.

After Ramen talks to my parents, he usually leaves. But this time, he called my brother and I over to tell us some sad news. My dense brain was thinking this was about my late grandma.

It wasn’t.

We sit down and he says that he has bad news. The Pine family called him yesterday (Tuesday, May 11th) to tell him that they weren’t going to attend our church anymore, and that their decision is final. They don’t want to meet up with Ramen. And that must hurt Ramen since... the Pine family and Ramen’s family had been together for years. Melon and Suki grew up together in Cuba (I’m the newer, American friend who teaches them about pop culture because oh boy, Melon is a clueless bean. We met a year ago.). Beanstalk and Zuko are like the sons Ramen never had, and Safari and Melon are like sisters to Suki- the point is, that they were really close. For the Pine family to just... cut it off like that is super strange. Yam and Er (the Pine children’s parents) were always so friendly and nice- heck, they were the ones that invited our family to church! They’re the reason we got out of our Mormon church and started to attend this Christian one (much happier here, I have- well had, friends)!

For a second I thought it was a joke.

It was so unbelievable. Er and Yam didn’t even explain why they were going to leave after so many years. They have the right to leave... but it was so sudden. It felt like betrayal I guess. It still feels that way. They said that they had been thinking of leaving, for months now. I don’t know what we did wrong. What if I did something wrong? What if I made Suki mad and that’s what caused them to finally make their decision? Was it all a lie? If they were thinking of leaving for months now, was everything they did and said a lie? Why?

I only ever see Melon and Suki when we go to church or have activities. We had a lot of plans for over the summer. We were even planning on saving up enough money so that the whole church could have a DisneyWorld activity. “But Cyan, can’t you just do it anyway, even if they don’t attend church anymore?” I mean we could, but it’ll feel different. Off. Even today, when we texted eachother, it seemed off. Fake I suppose. It didn’t feel the same. It’s hard to explain why.

Them leaving is like losing them forever. Sure, Suki and I might still see eachother, but it won’t be as often. And eventually we’ll drift away. I lost half of my friends. The church lost 60% of the boy population (we’re down to two oh noooo). And Melon lost her childhood best friend.

This has happened before. See, before my family joined, Ramen was preaching at a different church. Everyone got along until there was a stupid argument between Ramen and another pastor. The other Pastor was jealous of Ramen’s popularity and finally snapped when Ramen bought food for an old dude going to church there. Apparently Ramen isn’t supposed to feed hungry old men. They didn’t let Ramen preach there anymore, and basically kicked him out. Melon and Suki had a friend at that church, named Lime. And yeah, the three would occasionally meet up but eventually, they drifted apart because Suki and Melon weren’t going to Lime’s church anymore.

And I’m afraid the same thing is happening here with the Pine family.

Everything was going so smoothly. We were making summer plans. Zuko and I were getting along really well (Erm.. I sorta like him. A lot), and Safari and Beanstalk kept getting closer. Suki and Sokka FINALLY finished their teasing war. It was perfect. But I guess perfection can’t last forever. I had honestly thought that even though the world was ending, and we were all dying (persecution, I believe it will happen, if you don’t that’s fine but don’t argue with me about it, I gave you a warning up there) I thought we’d always be together. The Pine family, Ramen’s family, and my family. Even if the other member left or drifted away, I really thought we’d always stick together.

But I guess it didn’t work out that way.

And I still don’t know why it didn’t work out that way.

So not only is that happening, but tomorrow I’m taking a big AP test that I’m definitely not prepared for. I’m cramming but I, very scared and stressed and I just wanna skip over to Summertime.

But that’s not how things work so RIP me.

🪦 Cyan Sushi, 2??? - 2021

No I’m not actually dead. But I feel like I am and will be dead soon so yeah. Piano and birds are the only things keeping me sane.

[sugarcoated-eloquence]

Targets (K. Howard)

SOMEONE convinced me to write some Howard angst. (I’m looking at you, @sweetestrequiems​) Soooo.... here it is! This is a short fic I wrote this weekend, and I will put a trigger warning: it does mention Howard’s past with men, while not in detail, it is mentioned. And yes, there’s a tiny snippet of Parrlyn for you hoes.

Part 1 of a new series I will be writing.

I would put a taglist but I have literally ONE friend on SIX tumblr and I already tagged them. <3 ya, Kit.

Edited taglist: @patdfobmcr-yt

Take care of yourselves, kiddos, and enjoy! (Fic is below one of my favorite gifs of Aimie.)

February 13th. How fitting that the young Katherine Howard died the day before Valentine’s day. This was the first year she would be alive again for the date and her mind was not being very kind to her. The brunette had been a little off-kilter for weeks. Sure, she had nightmares often but the night terrors and screaming trickled in about a week before, the other queens taking shifts to wake her from them. Because of this, Kit was exhausted. She looked it, her acting showed it, hell even her dancing was slightly behind everyone else’s. The usual night consisted of one of the others sleeping in the small armchair across from Howard’s bed, the thrashing and screaming usually being enough to wake them so they could calm her down.

Most of the time, the nightmares were only about some of the abuse she endured... all the times she had been taken advantage of, for lack of a better term. But more and more lately the name Thomas was being cast out in her fits of nightly terror. Thomas Culpeper. The last man Howard ever mentioned, the last man she ever thought of loving... the final word to escape her mouth was his last name.

Luckily, though, on this particular evening, the anniversary in fact, the gals decided to all hang out and watch a movie. A good night-off tradition, a time to sit and laugh and keep their mind off of what made them all similar. A good distraction from Henry and the past. They had settled on a random Hallmark channel romance, perfect for Valentine’s day. Everything was calm, for once. Kit fell asleep rather quickly into the movie, a result of all of the late nights. She curled up into her oversized sweatshirt and rested her head on Boleyn’s shoulder.

Anne looked to Seymour, smiling. “She likes me better.” She mouths, a large smile decorating her face and a devilish glint entering her eye. Jane rolled her eyes in response and then pointed to the television, a way of telling Boleyn to be quiet. Anne simply puts an arm around Kit’s shoulder and continues to watch. She had to admit, it was corny as all get out. Kit was surprisingly still, but on the inside, hell was raging. Every few minutes or so her nose would twitch, or she’d let out a slightly bigger breath than usual, so the girls weren’t thinking much of it. It was different than usual, a calmer beginning to the storm that was about to happen. Stormy, almost like the day itself.

She could see the glint of the axe. Almost too shiny in the cold, dark, February morning. She had spent the night before laying her head on a stone, figuring out just the right way to stretch her neck, her right cheek red by the time she was done. She knew she would face towards Henry, so he would have to see the pain in her eyes one last time. And now, standing there, hands bound behind her back, two men keeping her from moving, Howard felt weak to her knees.

She stirs, ever so slightly, a small whimper rising from her small frame. Anne tightens the embrace, shushing her softly. Better to stop things early.

She could see Henry, stone faced, but not looking directly at her. Cold eyes in a revenge filled body. She’s pushed forward, but falls, quickly being pulled back up and helped up to the scaffold. The stone was larger than the one she had been given, dull and wet with the small bit of rain that was falling.

Kit still hated dark, rainy days. She shifts, unconsciously pulling out of Anne’s embrace and curling up more, hands going to her neck. It was the same thing every night, they always found her small as can be, hands around the neck.

Anne looks to Jane, who’s focused on the movie. “Ahem.” She points to Howard. “Let her be.” Jane responds, knowing that some nights it was better to just let Kit go through the motions.

She didn’t cry, not until she finally laid her head on the freezing stone. She remembered looking at him, and he wasn’t even looking at her, not until she got to the end of her begging.

More stirring.

Though she had been stripped of her title, she knew Thomas was there. With every bit of courage she could muster up, she pushes the statement past her pale, quivering lips. “I die a queen, but would rather die the wife of a Culpeper—“ Her own statement is broken by her voice cracking, and she’s said enough.

“No—“ Her legs kick slightly, hitting Anne. “Okay, no, I’m waking her.”

She closes her teary eyes just before the axe blade cuts through the crisp air, and then Anne is shaking her awake, tears and screams coming from the small girl. “Kitty, it’s me, it’s okay!” Anne says softly, knowing how volume could sometimes rattle the girl even more. Howards screams again, heaving breaths shaking her body and tears flowing from her eyes. Jane gets up at this point, turning the movie off and turning all of the lights on. “THOMAS!!” Kit snaps awake, crying and quite roughly pushing Anne away from her. It doesn’t physically hurt her, but Anne is a little touchy at the fact that Kit rejected her. Nonetheless, she just sits down on the floor, ready for when Howard needs her. Jane rushes to the couch.

“Shhh… Kitty, its okay. It was just a dream. He’s not here.” The calming, motherly voice chimes softly, but Howard won’t listen. “It wasn’t a dream, it HAPPENED! I’M SICK OF IT!” She sobs, and Anne goes to take her hand, but she flinches away, hopping up and pushing past the cluster of women around her. She walks nearly out of the room.

“Don’t—“ A breath. “—touch me!” She stands away from them, still breathing heavily and hugging herself. Anne is pretty hurt furthermore by Kit’s rejection, a few tears welling up in her dark green eyes. Parr pulls her aside, while Jane goes to handle Howard. “You know it isn’t you, right, love? She’s struggling, we all have… Remember how bad your nightmares got a while back? And today, of all days…” She wipes one of Anne’s tears and kisses her forehead quickly. “It’s okay, love.” Anne nods and shows a small smile.

Jane wraps a blanket around Kit, much to the girl’s dismay, shushing her and gently rubbing her back, getting her to sit down at the kitchen table. She kneels in front of the shaking girl. “Kitty, sweetie, I need you to take some deep, deep breaths for me. Look at me, okay? Look in my eyes.” Kit reluctantly does so, eyes wet with tears and full of anxiety and fear.

“It won’t go away.” She sniffles, letting out a huge sigh and hugging her knees to her chest. “He’s everywhere, Jane. He’s absolutely everywhere and so is every other one and I’m just—“ She takes a breath, knowing getting worked up now would just worsen it. “I feel like there’s always someone there. I feel like there’s a target on my back, Jane—” She starts to cry at the end of the statement, falling apart. Jane pulls her into a momma hug. “Shhhh… I’m here… None of us are going to let anything happen to you.”

Kit nods into Jane’s shoulder, Anne and the other girls entering the room quietly. “I’m so tired—“ It’s muffled, her small body shaking with sobs, and Anne has to turn away for a moment to gather herself. It hurts to see her cousin crying. Parr takes her hand and she turns back, kneeling down to where Jane was sitting. “I’m here too, Kitty. I’ll always be here.” Kit moves to hug Anne and Jane goes to get her some tissues.

“I’m so sorry Anne— I didn’t mean to be rude I’m just—“

“Shhhh… it’s okay. He hurt you. He hurt all of us. We will never get mad at you for feeling the way you do, I promise.” She pulls out of the hug, holding Kit’s face in her hands and wiping her tears. “He may have had the upper hand then, but now, we choose our stories. We get to rewrite it.” She nods, and Kit nods along with her. “I don’t wanna see my best gal cry over some fat, old toff.” She pulls her into another hug. It seems at last, the young Howard had finally found some form of peace.

Jane sets a box of tissues down on the table and tidies up the living room area, straightening the crooked couch from when Howard shoved off of it. After a little bit, out of the corner of her eye, she sees the girls disperse, and Anne and Kit go to their shared bedroom, leaving the blanket on the floor next to the chair. She picks it up and folds it, mumbling to herself. Tonight wasn’t the night to grill them about cleaning. It would be better just to keep the peace. At last, it was silent, and the worst day of Katherine Howard’s life was finally drawing to an end.

[dragonsaphirareads]

The Worth of a Name

[wodorfimina]

tw: possible animal abuse, animal death

So yesterday, my friend and I stumbled upon this youtube channel called Rescue Animals. The name is pretty self explanatory, they upload videos where they rescue abandoned animals. Unlike other channels run by non-profit organisations, they don't have any contact info nor website, and they don't seem to be any organisation either. There is no way to adopt any of the animals they rescue (which is strange, where do all the animals they rescue go? do they keep all the animals they rescue?). It all seemed a bit weird.

The rest will be under a read more with some pictures that can get a little heavy, open on your own risk 

The first video we watched was this one (tw: blood). It appears that this puppy was recently abandoned (as in, he looks healthy and not starved), however, he has what appear to be blood stains. So this puppy could be injured, right? But instead of taking the injured puppy to a vet, what they do instead is put him in a cardboard box and take him home.

At home, they try to feed the puppy with a syringe, which obviously does not work, and can be very dangerous if you don’t know how to do it.

They give him a bath and voilà! The injuries magically disappeared? (We have the suspicion that they stained him on purpose to give more “impact” to the video. The puppy could have also stained himself on the landfill but the placement seems rather deliberate).

And at the end of each video they always say to “share and subscribe to help street puppies find a home” but how are these puppies supposed to be adopted when there is no way to contact the owners of this channel?

Then there’s this video where they literally show a dead animal (tw: animal death) Is that even allowed on YT?

They also have a video where they take a baby fox from the wild. It appears that this baby fox was trapped in a net and couldn’t get out. So they free the baby fox, take him home and feed him, which is not the protocol to follow with wildlife animals.

Is this the proper way to handle a baby fox? (genuinely curious). They don’t show what happens to the baby fox after they take him home and feed him, where is this fox now? Did they release him into the wild again?

In this other video they find a very injured kitty (tw: blood, injuries; video rather graphic so open with precaution…) that needs medical treatment ASAP, instead they take it home and proceed to “treat” it. As we’ve stated, we’re no animal experts or know how vets work, but honestly the setup of the “clinic” is rather laughable (it’s seems like the bottles are set up randomly and other whatnot)  and they do a very poor job on treating the kitty.

They literally have an empty bottle which where pretend to soak into the cotton that its clearly still very much dry!

With which they then proceed to “disinfect” the injury. It feels like they’re playing pretend vet (?) but with a real and wounded animal for views. The good thing is that they have follow up videos of the kitty and the injury healed well, so I have the suspicion they took it to an actual vet after filming the video.

We hope this reaches someone who actually knows about this stuff, as we are genuinely worried about the well being of these animals. We also think that their intentions are not bad, maybe they're actually helping these animals and finding a new home for them. However, that doesn't excuse that what they're doing in some videos is questionable (for example, taking an animal from the wild). Their videos have lots of views and someone could think that what they're doing is right and try to imitate that.

If it is indeed animal abuse, please help us report these videos and the channel. They have a lot of subscribers and even more views.