#the internet is something to be consumed in moderation and shared with all

[archivewriter1ont]

[youremyheaven]

Rahu & Ketu: Abuse & Addiction

TW: drug overdose, death, suicide, abuse, childhood abuse

Nodal influence can be very destabilising and intoxicating. They're opposites but as they say the extremes of anything is a meeting point for it's opposite, so Rahu & Ketu share many similarities.

Rahu & Ketu are both shadow planets, Rahu is the head whereas Ketu is the tail. This in itself reveals much about the nature of the two. Rahu is over immersed in the world whereas Ketu is completely cut off from it.

When I say Rahu is over immersed/over stimulated, I don't mean they're profoundly connected to reality, I mean the opposite, they're deeply immersed in Maya/illusion that they often have no sense of reality. Rahu is the head, imagine if you lived in your head all the time? You'd be in your own la la land, disconnected from what is actually happening around you. This is Rahu energy. Without your body, you cannot use your senses, you cannot fully feel alive or experience reality. Rahu being the head means you're cut off from what is "real". You only live in your head and what happens in your head is very subjective and completely illusory.

They are so deeply immersed in an illusory world. This can manifest as substance addiction, video gaming, fame, material success, internet addiction, overly obsessed with "binging" content, maladaptive daydreaming etc, any experience that disconnects you from what is "real" and immerses you in something that feels very real but isn't real. Both Rahu and Ketu people suffer from addiction, Claire had mentioned that Nodal influence can make someone prone to addiction but why Rahu and Ketu are addicted tend to be very different. Rahu is overstimulated, they always need more of everything. There are people who spend 10 hours a day just watching YouTube videos or IG reels or whatever, that's because they need that much stimulation, since they live in their heads. Their minds need that kind of fodder to thrive off of. Once you start using any kind of substance, your brain builds a tolerance for it and you have to start using higher and higher doses to get the same high. When a Rahu native accumulates wealth, they start indulging in it but nothing is ever enough. They never feel "full", they don't have that fuse in their brain that flares up and says "this is enough". Basically they never know when to stop, they just keep going and going and going with anything they immerse themselves in. People play video games for 3-4 days straight without leaving their game set up. They don't ever feel satisfied. This is scary because "feeling full" is our brain's way of asking us to stop. Without that mechanism, we would overindulge and overdo everything which is what these natives do.

This is also why relationships are so tricky for Nodal people. They give too much and immerse themselves to the point where it's detrimental to the relationship. You either feel like you're losing part of yourself to it or the other person feels like you're consuming their energy too much (which makes them feel drained). Moderation does not exist for Nodal people either they're completely detached or they're completely obsessed.

Its similar to Jupiter energy in the sense that Jupiter is also very expansive and has the ability to immerse itself in everything and give so much but Jupiter has other principles that firmly ground it in reality as it is not a shadow planet like Rahu. It is not suspended in an illusion, Jupiter natives give so much or do so much because they have the internal space to do so, not out of a tendency to immerse themselves in Maya/illusion. Jupiter is the opposite, they see through Maya and find it hard to consciously part take in it.

Taylor Swift- Ardra Moon

She works harder than anybody in the biz. Her concerts are like 3 hours long and she does like 40-50 shows on average. She's ALWAYS doing THE most. She releases a new album every 2 years or so, has other projects etc this is a positive manifestation of Rahu energy because it allows you to be deeply immersed in your craft and your world but it also means you live in a bubble and you are cut off from "real life".

Ketu is the tail, it is cut off from reality and feels profoundly disconnected to reality. It is hard for these natives to feel like they relate to anything. This is why Ketuvians struggle with addiction. They use substances because they want to feel something, want to feel tethered, want to feel connected. They have to use higher doses because it helps them feel heightened emotions when they usually don't feel anything at all.

Ketu is connected to spirituality because natives who feel disconnected from the real world to this extent find it easier to immerse themselves in the occult and in esoterica. It is more abstract and requires you to think non-logically, i.e, experientially, but this is something Ketuvians have a hard time with, they themselves feel very "abstract" or like they aren't real or don't exist, so while they're intrinsically drawn to the esoteric, they feel untethered/ungrounded by immersing themselves in it too much. They need something they can cling to, they need something solid that they can attach themselves to.

All Rahuvian nakshatras belong to the Shudra caste, specifically the Butcher caste, this is very interesting because Shudra is the lowest caste (Mleccha is "outcaste" which means it exists outside the system entirely), to be Rahuvian means to operate on the lowest level. Butchers have to slaughter meat to make a living, that is unpleasant and brutal work, and only if they are disconnected from it can they keep doing it. They cannot be too focused on what they actually do because then it will be hard for them to do their tasks. They're not repulsed by it because they're disconnected from it.

2/3 Ketuvian naks are also Shudra caste whereas Ashwini is the only Ketu nak that is upper caste as it is a Vaishya nak.

(table by me hehe)

Rahuvian naks are found in all 3 ganas (Swati is deva gana, Ardra is manushya gana, Shatabhisha is rakshasa gana)

2/3 Ketuvian naks are Rakshasa gana (Mula, Magha) with only Ashwini being a Deva gana nak

I feel like Ketuvians are always made to feel like the bad guy / people villainize them a lot. They're the "ugly ducklings" who have to "win" approval as they're never accepted for who they are.

Rahu needs to immerse itself in something because its sensory perception is limited and they need to really indulge to grasp what is "real". Its very common for people with heavy Rahuvian or Rahu in a malefic placement to experience hallucinations or feel like their grip on reality is very thin.

Ketu has nothing perceive with at all. Its like being completely lost in the shadows or the dark. There's no perception taking place at all, it makes the natives inwardly drawn because its truly hard for them to absorb from their surroundings unlike Rahu which absorbs easily and fully. Rahu is over immersed whereas Ketu lacks immersion at all.

Lets look at the yoni animals of Rahu & Ketu naks respectively

Rahu: Ardra -dog yoni, Shatabhisha- horse yoni, Swati-buffalo yoni

Ketu: Magha-rat yoni, Mula- dog yoni, Ashwini-horse yoni

one common theme is that all these animals are abused, mistreated and exploited

(rats are the go to animal for lab testing, dogs are valued for their loyalty and are at the mercy of their owners, horses are made to endure so much labour, buffalos are farm animals)

all of these animals are also associated with dirt/filth in some way or another which is perhaps why people with Nodal influence often have a dishevelled appearance. They're bad at taking care of themselves.

Both horse yoni & dog yoni are divided among Rahu & Ketu naks whereas the yoni consort for Swati is Hasta (Moon ruled) and Magha is Purvaphalguni (Venus ruled).

Horses are very strong but very fragile animals. They start walking almost immediately after birth, they sleep standing up but they require a lot of attention and care as their health tends to be very fragile. Even though horses are associated with working hard, its not exactly innately part of their nature, it's just that they've been domesticated into being that way. It represents a very powerful active energy, as horses can be highly temperamental and unpredictable.

Dog yoni on the other hand, makes a person very needy and eager to please others. Dogs depend on the affection of their owners and without it they feel unhappy. Both these nakshatras have obsessive tendencies and a people pleasing nature. They're also two nakshatras who endure abuse the most.

I've noticed that a lot of people tend to have both nodes in their chart and I wonder what its like to house such contradictions. On one hand you're extremely involved, on the other, you're supremely detached.

The entertainment industry is one where people with Nodal influence really thrive but also often, self-destruct themselves. Its immensely hard to balance these energies since Rahu heightens whatever is in it, the way Jupiter expands whatever it touches. Both planets make you feel manic but in different ways.

Addiction is the result of an overactive nervous system and a coping mechanism. Ketu feels cut off from society/life/the world so in order to feel connected, it over indulges. Rahu needs something that will help them fully lose themselves, idk if I'm explaining it properly but you know how the best movies you've watched are the ones where you feel like you were in them experiencing those things with the characters? Its like that

There is an unhappy pattern of Rahu & Ketu influenced people being abused, I have especially noted this among child actors but also others.

Taylor Momsen- Swati Moon

Her parents signed her up with Ford Modeling when she was just 2 years old. "No 2-year-old wants to be working, but I had no choice. My whole life, I was in and out of school. I didn't have friends. I was working constantly and I didn't have a real life."

This theme of not experiencing "real life" or reality is very prominent in the lives of Rahuvian and Ketuvian people. It can be interpreted in many ways according to the context but there is always a sense of being deprived of what was "normal" or "real" as a result of which these natives had to live in their imagination or indulge in other things.

Like the child star who worked their whole life playing other people (acting is very Rahuvian) or the loner kid who spends all their time immersed in movies or video games because that feels more "real" to them.

Fame is also an inherently Rahuvian experience bc it's an illusion & a prison.

Judy Garland- Ardra Rising, Mula Moon

She was emotionally abused and controlled by her mother who got her addicted to drugs by the time she was a teenager. She was also sexually abused by the studio executives she worked with. Judy had a very tough life.

Aaron Carter, Ardra Moon, Mula Rising

Aaron Carter claimed that as a teen musician, his family spent $500 million of his money on 15 houses and 30 cars. He claimed that when his parents sold the houses, he didn't get a cut of the profits. He also alleged that his dad shot a .44 magnum near his ear — which resulted in him going 70% deaf in one ear — to force him into signing a $256,000 check.

Being heavily tattooed (more examples at the end of this post) is also a very Nodal thing to do.

He unfortunately passed away in 2022 from an accidental drug overdose. This is also a very unfortunate pattern among Nodal celebrities.

Macaulay Culkin- Shatabhisha Moon, Magha Sun & Mercury

 Macaulay Culkin's father Kit managed him during his childhood career. Macaulay has shared that his father was controlling and had him on a very busy filming schedule in the early '90s. He added his father made him stay up every night to study the lines he would have to say the next day. Macaulay asserted that his father was "such a crazy person" that he forced him to do SNL without cue cards when he hosted the show at 11 years old. Macaulay has explained that he felt his father was jealous of him because “everything he tried to do in his life I excelled at before I was 10 years old.”When Macaulay stopped acting after his 1994 movie Richie Rich, he told his parents, “I’m done, guys — hope you all made your money because there is no more coming from me.”His parents were never married and after he stopped acting, his mother filed for custody. Macaulay ended up taking his parents to court to stop them from controlling his $17 million in earnings. Since then, he and his father have been estranged.

I feel like the "child star gone wild" is a trope meant specifically for Nodal people

Keke Palmer, Magha Sun & Mercury, Mula Moon

Palmer shared on IG:

"Due to traveling and scheduling both of my parents had to stop working to support my career and be present for my three siblings, leaving me with the financial responsibility around age 12. Which I took great pride in because I knew what it would do for generations to come and a huge blessing that I could even help out. However it caused me a lot of pain because I essentially had to abandon my childhood feelings and desires, becoming like a parentalized child, which is something some of you can probably relate to in your own way. This was something that I have had to continuously work through because I am grateful but often feel like.. I missed “IT”. Life can be such a tragic comedy because how funny is it.. that now becoming an actual parent, and the responsibility I’ve always carried being more valid now than ever, has in fact given me the chance to feel what it’s like to be a kid again, I get a chance to explore a lot of the things I missed out on with my son, His freedom is like, the most priceless gift to me. He is already teaching me so much, it’s like he awakened the little me inside that I thought was long gone."

Ketu dominance = being your own parent, being neglected by your family or having to be your parent's parent.

Michael Jackson, Magha Sun & Mercury, Shatabhisha Rising

From a young age Jackson was physically and mentally abused by his father, enduring incessant rehearsals, whippings and name-calling. Jackson's abuse as a child affected him throughout his grown life. reading about the lives of the Jackson siblings and how severely they were all abused is very perspective altering and sad

Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen, Magha Moon, Ashlesha Rising (inc the ashlesha placement bc its another nak often subject to control and abuse)

“With what we were doing in business when we were younger, I don’t think it ever felt like we were actresses,” Mary-Kate “Because we spend so much more of our time not in front of the cameras, building a brand. Ashley agreed, saying: “I always looked at myself, even as a kid, as a business woman.” Mary-Kate said she wouldn't wish her childhood on anyone, and said she felt like a "monkey performer." 

they quit acting in the mid 2000s and rarely make public appearances and god only knows what they endured in the business bc neither of them will talk about it.

Sarah Michelle Geller, Ashwini Sun conjunct Ketu, Shatabhisha Moon

Sarah herself enjoyed the path she'd ended up on, she has rules in place for her own daughter. Recalling the "industry abuses" she experienced as a teenager in Hollywood, she said she hoped she'd "set up a safety net for these actors that I didn't have," but that she and husband Freddie Prinze Jr. have "rules in place" that mean daughter Charlotte "can't be in front of a camera until she graduates high school."

Kylie Jenner, Swati Moon

Kylie started appearing on her family's reality show when she was 10

In 2016, she told her sister Kim in an episode of the show: "I feel like I've had anxiety for too long. I feel too much, I care too much, I read too much. Some people are born for this life and some people aren’t. I just know I’m not supposed to be famous.” in an old IG post she said: "I’m proud of myself, my heart, and my strength. Growing up in the light with a million eyes on you just isn’t normal. I’ve lost friends along the way and I’ve lost myself too sometimes. My first tattoo was 'sanity' to remind myself everyday to keep it. I’ve struggled with anxiety my whole young adult life." "I know I don't want to be famous forever. There's gonna be a time where I feel comfortable, I'm at a good place in my life, and I just stop."

Natalie Wood, Ashwini Moon

The late Natalie Wood was forced into acting by her mother, Maria, who missed her chance to become a performer and instead focussed her efforts on pushing her daughters to stardom.

While young Natalie had a natural talent for performing, it seemed that her reason for going to movie sets was more to please her mother than to quench any desire of her own. 

Bella Thorne, Mula Moon

"I was sexually abused and physically growing up from the day I can remember till I was 14. When I finally had the courage to lock my door at night and sit by it. All damn night." She has also stated that she only started acting as a child to support her family.

Drew Barrymore, Shatabhisha Sun

 Drew's mother took her to clubs and allowed her access to drugs and alcohol, ultimately leading to her institutionalization at the age of 13, and emancipating herself at 14. Drew described fame at such a young age as "a recipe for disaster."

Edith Piaf, Mula Sun & Mercury, Magha Mars

Born in Paris practically on the streets, she struggled from day one, the daughter of street performers. The mother, a singer, eventually abandoned both Edith and her father for a solo career. Piaf spent her youth entertaining passers-by, receiving little formal education in the process. She often accompanied her father's acrobat street act with her singing and at various times was forced to live with various relatives, in alleys or in cheap hotels. An aborted love affair left her with a baby girl at age 17, but little Marcelle died of meningitis at 2 years old. Devastated, Piaf returned to the streets she knew, now performing solo. Her fortunes finally changed when an impresario, Louis Leplee, mesmerized by what he heard, offered the starving but talented urchin a contract. He alone was responsible for taking her off the streets at age 20 and changing her name from Edith Gassion to "La Mome Piaf" (or "Kid Sparrow"). Piaf grew in status entertaining in elegant cafés and cabarets and became a singing sensation amid the chic French society with her throbbing vocals and raw, emotional power. From 1936, Piaf recorded many albums and eventually became one of the highest paid stars in the world.

Later in life she became an addict and died in poverty at the age of 47.

Brittany Murphy, Swati Moon & Venus

she was a child star who was managed by her controlling mom. she battled with eating disorders and drug addiction. rip britt.

Justin Bieber, Shatabhisha Sun conjunct Saturn

Justin shot to fame at a very young age and was severely exploited by his management/everybody around him

Now here are some heavily tatted celebs and their placements

L to R

Rihanna- Shatabhisha Sun

Paris Jackson- Ardra Moon

Cheryl Cole- Ardra Sun & Mars, Shatabhisha Moon

Demi Lovato- Magha Sun

Jungkook- Magha Moon, Mula Rising

Ruby Rose- Swati Rising

Machine Gun Kelly- Ashwini Sun

The 27 club refers to a phenomenon where several musicians have died by age 27, many from an overdose. Unfortunately many of them have Nodal influence.

Brian Jones- Shatabhisha Sun

Jimi Hendrix- Mula Rising

Amy Winehouse- Mula Moon

Kurt Cobain- Shatabhisha Sun, Ardra Moon,

Janis Joplin- Ardra Moon, Mula Mars, Asc conjunct Ketu (in Dhanishta)

Jim Morrison- Ketu conjunct Rising (in Shravana)

several other celebrities who have died from overdoses also tend to have prominent Nodal influence

John Belushi- Mula Rising

Phillip Seymour Hoffman- Mercury in Ardra 2h, Mars conjunct Ketu in Swati

Prince- Shatabhisha Moon, Ketu in Ashwini

Whitney Houston- Shatabhisha Rising

River Phoenix- Magha Sun conjunct Ketu, Swati Ascendant conjunct Jupiter

Elvis Presley- Shatabhisha Moon

Margaux Hemingway- Ashwini Rising

Nodal planets are shadow planets and it can be very difficult for these natives to manage this energy as it is energy without a source, Rahu & Ketu don't have physical form or existence, that is a lot of uncontrolled energy to possess within yourself. Many people turn to spirituality and other esoteric sources and good Rahu & Ketu influence is vital and necessary to study or gain access to gnosis, study astrology or other occult matters but when this energy is imbalanced in their chart, these natives are more prone to self-destruction than any other planetary dominance simply because the unbridled energy is impossible to contain and requires some kind of coping mechanism. I have dated several Nodal men and they all dealt with varying degrees of addiction to varying substances and they all spoke about "wanting to feel more real" or how "nothing feels solid". I will try to focus on the positive manifestations of the Nodes on a future post.

thanks for reading<333

[cinnamonest]

Yandere Profile -- Eijiro Kirishima

Ahhh I finally finished this one! I love my loud red boy bless him

For @shorkbrian !!

Tws:  Fem reader, yandere, delusional mindsets, kidnapping, manipulation, stalking, mentions of death, normal yandere content, mentions of a high school setting

Tws (below cut): Noncon, throatfucking, pain content

This is also the first time I'm including my new severity scale (which I just made a post about before this one) in a profile!

================

Severity Scale

Intelligence/Perceptiveness: 6 Brutality: 5 Physical capability: 9 Mental/emotional instability: 6 Restrictiveness: 5 Sexual sadism: 6 Stubbornness: 8

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

He's actually not one of the yanderes that stalks from a distance - he's not so nervous that he can't approach you, no, he's comfortable enough to talk to you in person. Being away from you physically is almost painful, he wants to spend as much time with you as possible. He's also one you might catch onto a little bit, because he's just on the border of being a little lacking in self awareness to the point that he doesn't always realize when he's smothering you. Of course, it aligns well enough with his general personality that you won't think too much of it, just that he can be a little overbearing or clingy.

That being said, he does do his fair share of information collecting when you're not together. Boy is a master at data collection - he'll find socials you forgot you had, posts you made years ago, every major information collection site there is, he'll use to find everything he can about you. Your socials, your friends' socials, your relatives' socials. Even if you have one of those apps that lets you see who's stalking you on your social media, he's already planned ahead for that, and uses a variety of burner accounts so you never notice a thing.

Especially in later stages, as his mental stability is slowly worn down, he's prone to the classic yandere persona flip. Can go from his usual very energetic, spirited, happy go lucky sort of demeanor and, in very shocking and unexpected moments, become highly aggressive towards others, or even snap at you with an uncharacteristic coldness. However, he's aware enough to know he's doing it, and quickly backpedals once he does, apologizing and telling you he's just having a really bad day. Only these "bad days" seem to pile up quite a bit as time goes on.

Similarly, he becomes more delusional with time. At first he might actually be fairly receptive towards your friends, even male ones, and while his behaviors and stalking is present, it's not over-the-top just yet. It will take a few months but gradually he finds himself slipping into an increasing pattern -- just one more hour sitting outside your dorm room, just one more text, one more post of yours from five years ago, just one more of this or that and soon it's completely spiraled out of his control.

He's also aware enough at first to realize you might not be too keen on, you know, essentially imprisonment. If it weren't so fucked up, it would almost be funny to watch him - rehearsing the whole speech he will have to give to darling when she wakes up to himself in the mirror, nervously pacing, not making eye contact the whole time he's explaining himself and later finishing off telling you you're here forever with a "so, uh, yeah," and a nervous little laugh. He's a bit panicked himself but will do his best to calm poor darling down, and, as he tells himself, your initial reaction will be bad, but you'll adjust.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

He's surprisingly patient and can bide his time. If you're good, he's one of a few where you may be able to prolong your freedom and evade captivity for a very long time, years even. In order to achieve this, though, you'll have to never question his very much questionable behaviors, listen to him when he says not to talk to anyone else, spending every waking moment with him, that sorta thing. So really, it only works for a very naive darling who is already paranoid of others. For most people, who will, you know, call him out on his bullshit, he'll change his mind about letting you be free pretty quickly.

This is especially true if he feels like he's losing you -- if you just get upset that's one thing, but if he senses you're starting to become wary of him or even avoid him, he'll be pushed to the edge very quickly. He's not the brightest when it comes to his methods, most likely opting for a very simple break-in during your sleep or kidnapping you on the way home sort of deal.

He was something of this "waiting period," a time some types of yanderes have where they try to be normal. These types of yanderes are most likely to start of their relationships as normal and organic and only gradually devolve, or snap, into a higher state of delusion and unhealthy behavior. He's no exception to this, and you may get a few months of a very normal relationship with only small red flags that seem to be gradually increasing. 

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 

To escape, only moderate difficulty, actually. To stay escaped? That's a different story.

You see, he's got a slight predator-prey thing going on and will most likely give you a window of opportunity here or there (not a lot, only when he's carefully arranged it out). Early on he has a tracking device implanted in you while you're knocked out, but never tells you about it. He'll let you get a little ways, never so far that there's any risk, and always stays within very close proximity. Watching your worried eyes as you can't shake the feeling of something watching you, knowing you're questioning your own sanity in your state of paranoia. It's really cute, watching you dart your head back and forth into the shadows, every which way except for the actual place he's standing. Will wait until you inevitably run into seclusion, when you take that turn onto a corner with no eyewitnesses, when you duck into a business closed for the night for cover, and he'll have a hand around your mouth before you can even make a noise.

He knows he should be mad, but he gets off to it so much it's hard to be genuinely angry rather than just... Roughly exerting the pent up energy into you. Which in and of itself is something of a punishment.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

It's a mix of "more intelligent than he lets on," and "still kinda on the dull side." In particular, he's not very good at telling when someone is lying. It's honestly a coin toss every time you try, which actually makes it more difficult, really. You'll be just hopeful enough that maybe you can deceive him on this one thing, but there's a 50-50 chance it won't work. Unlike a super intelligent yandere who you automatically know better than to try, you'll keep getting your hopes up and trying with him, which ultimately results in more punishments when it fails.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He's moderate on allowances, but still restrictive on contact. As in, he'll get you the things you want, especially once he's making tons of money as a pro. Lets you have a highly controlled phone, complete with internet, but given a lock to prevent commenting or sending or uploading of any kind (aside from messages to him, of course). He doesn't really care too much about the media you consume or whatnot, but if he decides he doesn't like something specifically -- say, youtube videos on lockpicking -- then he'll probably take it away for a time until he can figure out how to better control it.

He's one to let you roam his place to an extent, once again it's a case-by-case basis of "you have this privilege until you do something to lose it." You can cook and access the kitchen until an incident of you hurting yourself or attacking him. You can watch tv and roam around until you break something intentionally out of spite. That sort of thing -- he deals with the problems when they arise, but is generally fairly lenient on your allowances, so really it's very unwise to take that privilege for granted, since it's a lot more than what a lot of yans would allow.

When you're really really good, he'll definitely let you go out with him. As we'll discuss, he likes to emulate normalcy, and really likes the fun kind of dates - theme parks and movies and the like. It'll be quite a while before you get to this stage though, as he has to feel 100% confident you won't try anything at all. Of course, if you do try anything, the privilege will be lost until you earn it back. However, this will also be entirely undercover on his end, probably wearing masks and sunglasses or the like. He doesn't want people to see you with him and recognize him, like a lot of the mha yans, he fears the potential of someone using you against him.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

Once again a "make them up as you go" guy. Listen, he didn't plan much beyond the initial kidnapping you and security, so there's a lot he hasn't thought about. From day one, what's made clear is you're not to leave and that you need to accept the way things are as soon as possible, and you know, be a doll and be sweet for him. As time goes on things get added -- don't look up this or that, don't attack or resist, don't backtalk him, don't give him the cold shoulder, etc etc. Over time it will amount to a lot, actually, you see, he's got a very specific image of how you should behave in his mind. Anything that deviates from that will quickly become a rule. So it's kind of like a puzzle for poor darling, you're not given an exact image of what you're supposed to act like or what you're not allowed to do, you just gradually find out with trial and error and an ever-growing behavioral rule list what is and isn't acceptable

.He can't stand isolation punishments, can't take being away from you for that long. He might try at first, but, almost comically, he cracks very early and brings you back out (just went you thought you were gonna get a break from him). It's primarily, (in our sfw section) a matter of losing privileges. To him, he knows that one of the worst punishments is boredom, so he'll take away your things that occupy you and leave you with nothing, potentially restraining you to a single room, so that you eventually cave and apologize.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

He uses social methods or underhanded, subtle tricks to eliminate people rather than killing them. Frames them for stealing, or some other misdeed to get them expelled, ruins their social reputation, fakes messages to make you hate them, maybe even to make them hate you. that's during the school-age stages of things. Now, an older hero Kirishima, definitely uses his status to get things done the way he wants. Come on, who in their right mind would try to take the girl of a pro hero to begin with? They were asking for it. He has a few similar methods -- ruins their public image, frames them for a crime, or, if they're persistent enough, may very well just use a couple connections to make sure they disappear -- potentially disappear entirely, or perhaps get permanently hospitalized from a bad accident, become the random victim of some villains, etc.

That being said, during the pre-kidnapping stages, he's definitely gonna start fights with other dudes for looking at you the wrong way. Even if it's horrifically embarrassing, he thinks of it as a show of manliness. You'll eventually have to pull him off and calm him down before he pummels the poor victim of choice completely. Over time, this earns him a reputation for being insanely protective, and it makes people start to avoid both him and you, which is all the better in his mind.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

With most things, he's pretty slow to anger, tries to be very patient and understanding. You have to wittle down that patience with repeated and deliberate disobedience to get a snap out of him - which is highly possible, considering poor darling initially is given no bad reaction. You'll think he's a pushover since he doesn't get super mad the first time, or the second or third, so when he finally does snap it's pretty frightening - it's all the irritation bottled up and released at once.

He tries hard to project the image of who he's known to be - a chill, good natured, optimistic guy, which is why he manages to be so patient. He doesn't want that image ruined for you, and he's very very particular about, and worries about, the image of him in your mind. He has a deep need for you to see him as a heroic figure, to look up to him, and to see him as above you, so he doesn't want to ruin that with violence and anger.

It's usually a literal snap of some sort - whatever he's holding gets slammed down on the table, or crushed or snapped in half (say, a glass or pen). His voice gets low, and builds up into a snarl. Definitely one to grab you by the hair. Drags you to wherever he deems a suitable place to take care of your issues.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

He doesn't think about these things too much, and really, he's somewhat in the middle or can even fluctuate. A lot of it depends on you. If you're good and obedient, he treats you like you're an angel, says he doesn't deserve you. Now, if you're not being so good, he might sometimes let the frustrations slip out into some bitterness, likewise muttering that you should be a bit more grateful that someone like him loves you so much.

That being said, he does want you to see him as above you, wants you to look up to him and, simply, he wants you to think he's amazing and heroic! He goes out of his way to repeatedly impress you with displays of strength and the like, and, like a lot of the hero yanderes, will frequently subject you to watching the news of him saving people. He exaggerates his heroics significantly and makes sure you know just how many people he saved, and of course, he makes sure to show you every girl that blows up his phone after finding his number somehow, all the adoring females fans, and so on, in a very blatant attempt to make you jealous -- having all those fans does get his ego going a bit.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

Definitely strongly determined. He wants not only your acceptance, but also to somewhat normalize the relationship. He emulates a lot of normal behaviors like aforementioned dates, but also things like "date night" at home (cuddles on the couch and watching TV, playing games, takeout etc), little good morning texts for you to wake up to when he has to leave early, making food together. It's so tender and sweet that sometimes you could almost forget that you're being trapped against your will. It also, of course, is very beneficial for his imperatives, considering that that sweetness will only help you adjust more quickly.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Probably the previously noted extent to which he strives towards a very butchered resemblance of normalcy. It's like he wants to just be a normal couple... but he doesn't, he can't. I'd say that even he himself kind of struggles with it a bit -- psychologically, he's one of the yanderes that deludes himself because he has to. It doesn't come super naturally, it's that, being forced to recognize how unhealthy and harmful his extreme controlling and possessiveness is, to come to terms with the fact that those urges aren't normal... the guilt would eat him alive if he actually stopped to think about that, if he actually allowed himself to admit that reality to himself. So, he doesn't. He will push that thought away, even though it does exist somewhere deep down, until the day he dies. He couldn't live with himself if he didn't delude himself into believing it's all necessary, and that he's good to you. A lot of his more lenient tendencies stem from this.

It's a conflict between parts of his brain -- a duality of sorts. One part says he wants the normalcy -- he wants dates and love and sex and fun and he wants it all organically, he doesn't want to be a kidnapper, doesn't want to have to do these things. But as much as he wishes he didn't have to, the other part of him does, in fact, say that he has to do these things. Yanderes that have these sorts of internal conflicts due to a strong sense of morality (which he DOES have, really) tend to have a "waiting period," as he does, which I mentioned above -- a time where they try to go about things normally but find themselves unable to.

As a result, I'd say he's one of the yanderes that's actually very likely to start off as an actual boyfriend, rather than a stranger or a friend. He's confident enough to ask you out and charming enough to get a yes, but he just can't control himself over time.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

Like some of my other yans I've discussed, he has what you call reactive sexuality. On his own, he's average for a young man, but once he has someone he really has a lot of affection for, that drive goes up significantly in their presence. There's a lot more stimulation, after all, it gets those hormones raging and the urge to fuck goes way up pretty quickly now that there's an availability.

He's moderate-to-heavy on the perversion for what you'd expect from a guy like himself. He's far from pure but he knows exactly how to teeter the line of being just gross enough to make you squirm and blush without being such a horndog that he actually offends you or drives you away. Not that he won't push that line as far as he can, constantly testing your boundaries.

As for touchiness, oof he's VERY touchy. Poor darling. It, like many things, increases with time in the pre-kidnapping stage -- even from the get go he's prone to slinging an arm over your shoulder or leaning on you, but that progresses into gradual soft gropes that you almost feel like you imagined, and extended touches, hands gripping your shoulders, etc. Post-kidnapping, very touchy all the time. Very much a cuddler and likes to grab at everything he can when he does so.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

It's eh, moderate, but ultimately, as in yandere nature, force will be used if necessary. He's so sweet about it at first that it almost doesn't even feel like it. He tells himself you're afraid, and any lashing out is just because of that. Even if you say he's the problem, he thinks that's just because you're embarrassed to admit you're scared. Everything you can come up with, he'll loop back to that rationalization. It helps him get over any potential guilt he'd otherwise have, which he certainly would if he didn't lie to himself.

He's so sweet about the whole thing its nauseating for poor darling. Wiping away any tears on your face, taking a long long time to prepare you up with fingers and touches and words, and telling you it'll be ok, that it only hurts for a second, that he'll make you feel so good, that you'll be happy this happened just as much as he is.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

Oral fixation

This boy just... saying he wants you to blow him is understating it. He wants to throatfuck you -- grab you by the hair and use your face like a toy. In the beginning he'll be gentler, but he fantasizes about reaching a point at which he can really just go at it, train your gag reflex to be virtually non-existent. He likes to cum down your throat, but even more he loves pulling out at the last moment and telling you to hold your mouth open and tongue out, jerking off onto your tongue, getting some on your face, and telling you to swallow.

Roleplay/Lingerie

Specifically, he'll get into anything service related. Maid outfits galore. He loves treating you like a doll, really, dressing you up in whatever newest lewdest thing he can find. Definitely keeps up with the newest outfit trends of the egirl type of sphere -- loves the things like thigh highs, virgin killer sweaters, garters, anything of the sort. Very much into the "cutesy" type of stuff on you, expect lots of pastel colors and soft fluffy things. Also 100% will get a tail plug and animal ears of some kind. And it's not just for looks, he likes you to act out the role, too. He's actually super-blushy about the whole idea at first, but he does like the idea of being called "Master," especially when it's all soft and embarrassed coming out of your own mouth. 

Size difference/strength difference

It ties back into the thing of wanting you to look up to him. He loves loves loves seeing the faces and the little squeals you make for him when he gives you displays of raw strength - and he'll be sure to frequently remind you of exactly how strong he is. Standing-fucking, slinging you over his shoulder when he's dragging you back home, picking you up and throwing you on the bed, grabbing you by the hips and lifting your entire body up and down when you're on top of him and using you as effortlessly as if you were a near-weightless fleshlight.

No matter which size you may be, he loves it whichever way. If you're tiny and short it gives him an automatic power rush, but if you're larger and taller he loves that too - it gives him a massive ego boost that he can pin you down and control your body with such ease, bonus points if you thought he couldn't since you're bigger than he is.

Size kink pt 2

Also a size related thing, but specifically dick. Listen I refuse to believe this man doesn't have a girthy, thick dick. And he loves the things it can do to you -- the way you gasp and shudder, even little whimpers of pain. He feels bad if there's any pain, but he can't help but get off to the squeals just a little bit, the tears in your eyes are just so cute. Definitely loves making a visible bulge on your stomach, and will make sure you see it too, holding your head in place to force you to watch your stomach bulge every time he thrusts in. Bulging your throat is equally hot, as mentioned above. And he loves the way that there's just that slightly visible gape for a few minutes after he pulls out as your body adjusts.

Threeways

Perhaps very rare for a yandere, he's one of a few that isn't 100% opposed to sharing, provided it's with special individuals, namely a certain blonde friend. Not so much in the relationship aspect, but a sexual one, and it's very well-controlled on his end, with him having the ultimate power over the whole situation. There will always be things that only HE can do to you that no one else can, of course, and it's all only with those he trusts to never spill about your existence. Still, he just really really likes seeing you get spitroasted, really. Can you blame him?

And of course, he'll make sure to get reassurance from you that you only love him and don't care about Katsuki at all, and if he ever gets even the slightest feeling that that might not be the case, it's a kink he'll give up easily if it means soothing the potential raging jealousy.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

He actually really, really likes the thought of being a dad. It's sort of a pride thing, having a family he can love and support (it's not like you're gonna be allowed to work), showing you off to everyone. And of course, the emotional attachment you'll undoubtedly form, the dependency you'll have on him. 

Getting to watch cum drip out of you and never having to pull out is a nice bonus, too.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Big into overstim. It's perfect because it's a punishment that is both effective, doesn't technically hurt you, and releases all those good chemicals all at the same time. He doesn't initially want to hurt you too bad, but, if you're really bad -- either in terms of the severity of the offense or the number of times you continue to do it -- he can reach a point of anger at which he'll resort to impact-pain-based punishments, too. Ever the sweet one, he actually does research first to make sure he won't go too far and seriously injure you, but once's he's made all the right purchases, I could see him settling on riding crops, he will make you hurt.

And, really, because it all gets him off at the same time -- the strangled little cries and mewls and whimpers are so much hotter than they should  be. He likely blindfolds you the whole time, partially to increase your fear and anticipation, but also so that you don't know he's jerking off to the whole thing.

The aforementioned throatfucking is also an effective and very quick, straight-to-the-point punishment when need be. If he's super mad and doesn't have the self control to take you elsewhere he may very well just dump you on your knees and demand you open your mouth or else you'll be in for a lot more pain. If he's in that kind of borderline-sadist mood he can get cruel with it too -- cumming in your mouth but not letting you swallow, making you hold the gross taste against your tongue for several minutes, or, his favorite guilty pleasure he feels too bad making you do most of the time, slamming your face all the way down and holding his cock all the way down your throat, perfectly still. No matter how hard you try to pull back or beat on his thighs, he has an iron grip and will hold you there until you nearly pass out.

Also, hell, just fucking him can be a punishment if he wants it to be. He can manhandle you with such a brutality and strength that it's genuinely painful. You want to know what it feels like to have a, literally, rock-hard dick ramming into your cervix?

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Very much a thigh boy. Not only are they soft and pillowy, but he loves to bite and suck at the insides of your thighs and leave lots and lots of marks. They're just as much for you as they are for him. He makes sure you always wear shorts or short skirts (or nothing is fine too) to make sure said marks are always within your vision.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The future is symmetrical

When Mitch Kapor articulated the principle that “architecture is politics” at the founding of EFF, he was charging technologists with the moral duty to contemplate the kinds of social interactions their technological decisions would facilitate — and prohibit.

At question was nothing less than the character of the networked society. Would the vast, pluripotent, general purpose, interconnected network serve as a glorified video-on-demand service, the world’s greatest pornography distribution system, a giant high-tech mall?

Or could it be a public square, and if so, who would have the loudest voices in that square, who would be excluded from it, who will set its rules, and how will they be enforced?

As with its technical architecture, the political architecture of the net is a stack, encompassing everything from antitrust enforcement to spectrum allocation, protocol design to search-and-seizure laws, standards to top-level domain governance.

Among those many considerations is the absolutely vital question of service delivery itself. What kinds of wires or radio waves will carry your packets, who will own them, and how will they be configured?

For decades, a quiet war has been fought on this front, with two sides: the side that sees internet users as “mouse potatoes,” destined to passively absorb information feeds compiled by their betters; and the “netizen” side that envisions a truly participatory network design.

This deep division has been with us since the internet’s prehistory, at least since the fight over Usenet’s alt.* hierarchy, flaring up again during the P2P wars, with ISPs insisting that users were violating their “agreements” by running “servers.”

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/11/altinteroperabilityadversarial

Above all, this fight was waged in the deployment of home internet service. The decision turn the already-monopolistic cable and phone operators into ISPs cast a long shadow. Both of these industries think of their customers as passive information consumers, not participants.

As an entertainment exec in William Gibson’s 1992 novel Idoru describes her audience: “Best visualized as a vicious, lazy, profoundly ignorant, perpetually hungry organism craving the warm god-flesh of the anointed. Personally I like to imagine something the size of a baby hippo, the color of a week-old boiled potato, that lives by itself, in the dark, in a double-wide on the outskirts of Topeka. It’s covered with eyes and it sweats constantly. The sweat runs into those eyes and makes them sting. It has no mouth…no genitals, and can only express its mute extremes of murderous rage and infantile desire by changing the channels on a universal remote. Or by voting in presidential elections.”

Contrast this with the other cyberpunk archetype, the console cowboy who doesn’t merely surf the digital, but steers it — the active participant in the technological/media environment who is more than a recipient of others’ crafted messages.

For a long time, Big Tech and Big Telco tried to have it both ways. AT&T promoted teleconferencing and remote family life conducted by videophones in its 1993 “You Will” marketing campaign. Youtube exhorted you to “broadcast yourself.”

But AT&T also set data-caps, kicked users off for running servers, and engaged in every legal, semi-legal and outright illegal tactic imaginable to block high-speed fiber networks.

Youtube, meanwhile, blocked interoperability, leveraged vertical integration with Google search to exclude and starve competitors, and conspired with Big Content to create a “content moderation” system that’s two parts Kafka, one part Keystone Kops.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/12/12/fairy-use-tale/#content-id

While the questions raised by broad participation in networked society are thorny and complex, one question actually has a very simple and factual answer: “How should we connect our homes to the internet?” The answer: “Fiber.”

There is no wireless that can substitute for fiber. Wireless — 5G, Starlink, whatever — shares the same spectrum. We can make spectrum use more efficient (by tightly transmitting the wireless signals so they don’t interfere), but physics sets hard limits on wireless speeds.

Each strand of wire in a wired network, by contrast, is its own pocket universe, insulated from the next wire, with its own smaller, but exclusive, electromagnetic spectrum to use without interfering with any other wire on the other side of its insulation.

<img src=”https://craphound.com/images/broadband_comparison.jpeg" alt=”EFF’s broadband comparison chart, showing the maximum speeds of 4G (100mb), DSL (170mb), 5G (10gb), cable (50gb) and fiber (100tb).”>

But copper wire also has hard limits that are set by physics. The fastest theoretical copper data throughput is an infinitesimal fraction of the fastest fiber speeds. Fiber is millions-to-hundreds-of-millions times faster than copper.

https://www.eff.org/wp/case-fiber-home-today-why-fiber-superior-medium-21st-century-broadband

We should never run copper under another city street or along another pole. Any savings from maintaining 20th century network infrastructure will be eradicated by the cost of having to do twice the work to replace it with 21st century fiber in the foreseeable future.

Trying to wring performance gains out of copper in the age of fiber is like trying to improve the design of whale-oil lamps to stave off the expense of electrification. Sure, you don’t want anyone sitting in the dark but even the very best whale-oil lamp is already obsolete.

But besides future-proofing, there’s another reason to demand fiber over copper or wireless: symmetry. Our copper and (especially) wireless infrastructure is optimized for sending data to end-points, not getting data back. It’s mouse-potato broadband.

(this is especially true of any satellite broadband, which typically relies upon copper lines for its “return path,” and even when it doesn’t, has much slower uplinks that downlinks)

By contrast, fiber tends to be symmetrical — providing the same download and upload speeds. It is participatory broadband, suited for a world of distance ed, remote work, telemedicine, and cultural and political participation for all.

Fiber is so obviously better than copper or wireless that America paltry fiber rollouts needed to be engineered — they never would have happened on their own. The most critical piece of anti-fiber engineering is US regulators’ definition of broadband itself.

Since the dawn FCC interest in universal broadband, it adopted a technical definition of broadband that is asymmetrical, with far lower upload than download speeds. Despite lockdown and broadband-only connections to the outside world, Congress is set to continue this.

The latest iteration of the Democrats’ broadband bill defines “broadband” as any connection that is 100mb down and 20mb up (“100/20”). Both of these speeds paltry to the point of uselessness, but the upload speed is genuinely terrible.

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/07/future-symmetrical-high-speed-internet-speeds

US broadband usage has grown 21%/year since the 1980s. 100/20 broadband is inadequate for today’s applications — let alone tomorrow’s (by contrast, fiber is fast enough to last through the entire 21st century’s projected broadband demand and beyond, well into the 2100s).

Any wireless applications will also depend on fiber — your 5G devices have to be connected to something, and if that something is copper, your wireless speeds will never exceed copper’s maximum speeds. Innovation in spectrum management requires fiber — it doesn’t obviate it.

Today, the highest growth in broadband demand is in uploads, not downloads. People need fast uploads speeds to videoconference, to stream their games, to do remote work. The only way a 100/20 copper network’s upload speeds can be improved is by connecting it with fiber.

Every dollar spent on copper rollout is a dollar we’ll forfeit in a few years. It’s true that cable monopolists will wring a few billions out of us if we keep making do with their old copper, but upgrading copper just makes the inevitable fiber transition costlier.

China is nearing its goal of connecting 1 billion people to fiber. In America, millions are stuck with copper infrastructure literally consisting of century-old wires wrapped in newspaper, dipped in tar, and draped over tree-banches.

https://mn.gov/commerce-stat/pdfs/frontier-service-quality-report-final.pdf

Indeed, when it comes to America, monopoly carriers are slowing upload speeds — take Altice, the US’s fourth-largest ISP, which slashed its upload speeds by 89% “in line with competitors’ offerings.”

https://pluralistic.net/2021/06/27/immortan-altice/#broadband-is-a-human-right

America desperately needs a high-fiber diet:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/03/30/fight-for-44/#slowpokes

But it has a major blockage: the American right, who have conducted history’s greatest self-own by carrying water for telecoms monopolists, blocking municipal fiber:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/17/turner-diaries-fanfic/#1a-fiber

It’s darkly funny to see the people who demanded that “government stay out of my internet” now rail against monopoly social media’s censorship, given that a government ISP would be bound by the First Amendment, unlike Facebook or Twitter.

Luckily, Congress isn’t the only place where this debate is taking place. In California, Governor Newsom has unveiled an ambitious plan to connect every city and town to blazing-fast fiber, then help cities and counties get it to every home.

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/15/how-to-rob-a-bank/#fiber-now

In tech circles, we use the term “read-only” to refer to blowhards who won’t let you get a word-in edgewise (this being one of the more prominent and unfortunate technical archetypes).

The “consumer” envisioned by asymmetrical broadband futures is write*-only — someone designed to have other peoples’ ideas crammed into their eyeballs, for their passive absorption. A consumer, not a citizen.

As Gibson put it, it’s a person who “can only express its mute extremes of murderous rage and infantile desire by changing the channels on a universal remote.”

Cyberpunk is a warning, not a suggestion.

[hermeticimp]

Why Social Media Should Actually Be Represented By the 12th House

Hello beautiful people! So, an enlightening conversation with my lovely mentor Ada led me to realize that social media, so often attributed to the 11th house, can be argued to actually be under the lure of the 12th. Shocking, I know, but let me give my reasoning first.

Ada wrote a brilliant article on redefining the 11th house, so please check that out to get a better understanding of what that house represents. I will explain a little about the 12th however. The 12th house represents hidden influences, secrets, escapism, fantasy, dissolution of the ego, and the collective unconscious. It is the yawning ocean that seeks to devour us all… Okay, so maybe not quite that last one, but close enough.

Either way, it is a place where our conscious mind becomes subsumed by our unconscious one. Not it the same sudden flashes of insight and resonance with the 11th house, but like a giant wave crashing over you and pushing you under, opening up a whole new world you never knew existed. Or at least, one you rarely acknowledge does. With that explanation out of the way, let’s turn our attention to social media.

Social media - the innovative method of communication that has entirely changed the way we communicate and express ourselves with one another. It’s where we go to be honest, right? To share our opinions with the world and find people who totally understand where we’re coming from? It’s technology and becoming social with known loved ones and strangers alike! How on earth could it fall under the mysterious, dissociated influence of the 12th?

Well, friends, let’s gaze into the abyss together.

I’ve been a part of the spiritual community for bordering on 4 years now. Tumblr, Twitter, and Discord have been my biggest spaces for finding people I have an affinity with, though Facebook is quickly becoming another niche for me. I’ve watched people come and go with the tides. It’s been bothering me quite a bit lately.

Two common reasons I see are losing the self and burnout. For all the personalization that social media provides us, it’s actually rather depersonalizing. Psychology has told us that social media can be helpful, but it often causes disconnection. From families sitting at tables using their phones instead of talking to each other to people checking their social media as soon as they wake up rather than taking the time to sit with themselves to prepare for the day, social media turns us away from the real world to become absorbed in the virtual one.

That virtual world leads to the creation of a “persona” or character - an avatar to represent us in the subspace. It then interacts with other avatars in this e-world. It makes me think of this scene from one of my favorite anime, Psycho-Pass. It’s this futuristic, cyberpunk world where everyone’s mental health is easily scanned and coded with a hue referred to as the titular “psycho-pass”. The clearer your hue, the better you are. The darker it is, the more likely you are to be taken into custody or even killed for the safety of society. I highly recommend it because it has a lot of amazing themes like justice, civil disobedience, the dangers of technology, and so on.

Anyways, there’s an episode where the lead character, Akane, participates in this online VR space where she and other people are projected into the e-world, dressed up as their respective personas, and interact with each other. There’s a sense of camaraderie...up until a murder occurs. As Akane investigates, she finds that people she thought were friends in this space quickly turn against one another.

While the example is a little extreme, my point is that social media is just like the online VR space - a place where we interact with a small part of a person and not their true selves. That’s not to say that online friends aren’t true or important - I’ve found plenty of great people online - but there is an element of role-playing here that suits the 12th house over the 11th.

The 12th house is ruled by Neptune, the planet of illusions, the arts, and spirituality. It’s a hazy planet that casts a mist over what it touches. Fantasy falls under the domain of this planet as does wish fulfillment. And what is social media if not a way of creating a fantasy where we can escape the outside world? Remember that escapism falls under this house. We go on social media to connect with others, sure, but we also use it as an escape from the reality of our offline lives.

However, Jupiter classically (and modernly co-rules) the 12th house as well. Jupiter is the planet of optimism, faith, expansion, and luck. Each of those is great in moderation, but Jupiter doesn’t know the meaning of that. Thus, overindulgence, grandiosity, greed, and blind faith can all become issues.

Finally returning to how that impacts people leaving social media, the planetary influences of the 12th better reflect what social media is like. People can lose themselves in their persona, being consumed by this side of themselves that becomes larger-than-life.

In the spiritual community, this can happen through people coming to think of you as a divination machine, constantly channeling the Universe to the point where it’s hard to see where the “diviner” ends and the self starts. That’s 12th house energy. Spirituality can consume us on this side of the internet until it’s our entire world.

(Of course, this applies to any community you join in. I’m just using the one I’m most active in.)

Ada, in her article, mentions “ego death” being something social media causes and I find that to be true. I’ve seen people lose themselves so much that they have to walk away to retain any sense of self and/or sanity. It becomes too much (Jupiter) and they have to retreat into themselves (4th house of privacy and getting back to one’s roots) to regain a sense of who they are. They lose themselves in the persona and not always for the better.

With burnout, the above applies, but a recent revelation provided by the lovely Brook Waldorf in her BTS Yoongi reading helped me understand that the issue here is fear and worship. People fight to maintain the perfection and expected output of their persona to the point that they are deathly afraid of disappointing others and losing their spot as the current desired person.

They fight against themselves, pushing themselves to the limit to avoid a fall from grace and to keep from letting down the people who look up to them. While it may work for a while, the lack of self-care can drive them to retreat (4th house) and leave that persona behind to live the life they truly desire. That last statement is where they move into themes of the 11th - the House of Resonance.

While that went darker than intended, I think that presents a good case for social being considered under the 12th’s domain rather than the 11th’s. Feel free to leave your takes below!

[gerrydelano]

okay! not to make a serious post out of nowhere, but i have noticed a rather troubling trend and i kind of want to address it, at least in terms of my own space. however, i do think what i’m about to say is pretty important, and so if you can take the time to read/reblog this, i’d really appreciate it.

for context, i tend to get some pretty heavy waves of asks telling stories/saying what entities people would be aligned with, which in and of itself is not inherently bad! it’s a fun thing to think about, we’ve basically been given a Dark Personality Test as an Evil Treat by this cool podcast we all love, which is meant to be explored and examined through a personalized lens! that’s what fiction is for, we’re meant to immerse ourselves and pull it out into the world. that in and of itself is fine, usually, so long as we keep in mind the line between examination and validation of behaviors that are not really to be admired or aspired to.

however, some of the messages i’ve received are a bit genuinely concerning. i know that this may sound a bit stuffy and i don’t want to be a killjoy because i know we’re all trying to just have fun here in horrortragedyland, but some of the topics that have been broached to me in the context of The Worst In Us are leaning into some rather unhealthy territory? i’ve been guilty of thinking this way, too, which is why i want to dial back a little and explain my take on it + maybe shake a little bit of sense into whoever needs it, too. 

obviously talking about these things in general is the only way to find ways to cope with or unlearn bad habits or ways of viewing yourself/the world. we should Not keep things bottled in forever, and i definitely acknowledge that sometimes it’s way easier to test the waters of sharing certain Scary Thoughts with strangers on the internet than it is to, perhaps, seek a therapist/even acknowledge the possibility that you might benefit from seeing one.

the thing is, we could all probably stand to get a little better at talking about these things without framing them (to ourselves primarily, but evidently also to others) as like. “oh this awful, frightening, thing makes me interesting/sets me apart/is Cool.” if nothing else, we should try to be conscious about That behavior in particular. it doesn’t always get talked about; i’ve never actually seen another person bring this up. i could have used it a long time ago, personally.

because i know from experience that viewing things like that can get very dangerous in the long term if we don’t practice moderation and give ourselves a little pinch every now and then. thinking about things this way tends to make people more reluctant to let go of certain behaviors and beliefs, because after a while of maintaining them, we eventually start to view them as immovable pieces of our identities. 

this can escalate to a point where someone suggesting that you try to pursue healing can feel more like an insult; like they’re trying to take away a piece of who you are. concern becomes an attack on our comfort zone, because we have been trying to cope with these things BY adapting to them, by molding ourselves to them, by getting used to them in the hopes that they will stop hurting if we just accept them.

it seems harmless to just relate to something you heard in some media you’re consuming, but it’s one of those things that can grow immensely over time somewhere under the skin and we don’t even notice it until it’s something we can’t fathom trying to unlearn. i know, i promise you that i get it. that’s why i’m saying this, at the risk of sounding like i’m taking things too seriously. i promise i’m saying this as someone who is STILL struggling with it. 

even my last few posts are guilty of it! i’ll be flippant about being beholding aligned because a lot of what i experience/do fits the bill for it and just leaving it at that is a way to make sure that other people understand without me needing to go deeper. it’s easier, it’s shorthand, it can even be funny. 

but my paranoia is not funny, it’s debilitating. my need for acknowledgment versus my terror at being perceived is not an interesting thematic foil, it’s agonizing. the fact that i attract dark stories from strangers is not just a sign that i’m approachable, it’s also fed into by the fact that i am afraid to set boundaries a lot of the time. me oversharing so much right now is not just a Beholding Behavior, it’s a product of having gone through a set of traumas that resulted in me being licensed to talk about this topic at all.

it’s all fun and games until you immerse just a little too far, and i think now is as good a time as any to remind everyone (including myself) that you can pull yourself out of it. you should try. you’re gonna have to do it more than once, you’ll have to catch yourself because if this is a habit you happen to have then it is going to take a few tries to break it, but you can do it. 

and also, frankly? some of it can get really uncomfortable for whoever you’re sharing with. not everyone will have seen, but i actually got asks today that more or less used the extinction to romanticize ecofascist ideology and it was very clear that a line was not drawn where it should have been. so, i’m saying this not only for the sake of you guys’ health, but also as a bit of a wake up call to anyone who may be unintentionally parroting some really bad rhetoric under the guise of coping or feeling weirdly validated by a piece of fiction that gives you a justification for a belief you need to reevaluate.

so, to those who may need a little push, here’s your sign.

step back just a little bit and examine how you tell strangers on the internet about some of the potentially toxic beliefs you may hold about yourself, about the people around you, about the world you’re in. take care of yourselves, and try not to let yourself get sucked into this particular rabbit hole. been there, done that, still sort of doing it, and i don’t want that for anybody else, y’know? be safe.

[consumingromance]

yikes people are misunderstanding you. I'm glad to see a likeminded person I always found it odd how the vore community here refuses to acknowledge that NSFW, Kink, and Fetish are all not inherently sexual and refusing the labels isn't necessary.. But I suppose they'd have to refuse it in order to justify the presence of minors yah? Might not be a sexual experience but it is a sex adjacent community and should be moderated as such

I feel so bad for anyone who experiences shame relating to the suggestion that it’s a kink/fetish. Because I get that. In high school I wasn’t on social media (strict guardians - I was allowed to do a lot of things) but like in senior year they stopped caring and I searched things like “eaten by a dragon” or something? And then I saw the word ‘vore’ which led to Wikipedia:

Vorarephilia (often shortened to vore) is a paraphilia characterized by the erotic desire to be consumed by, or sometimes to personally consume, another person or creature, or an erotic attraction to the process of eating in general practice.[1][2][3] Since vorarephilic fantasies cannot usually be acted out in reality, they are often expressed in stories or drawings shared on the Internet.[1] The word vorarephilia is derived from the Latin vorare (to "swallow" or "devour"), and Ancient Greek φιλία (philía, "love"). And I’m like - paraphilia?  I don’t have a paraphilia. I don’t even want sex. I can’t be a deviant sex freak. I’m not that kind of girl. All this internalized shame and misogyny. The idea that liking this meant I was a sick freak and bad. I felt more broken than ever. (I’m gray asexual/hyposexual and sex-repulsed to trauma/CSA so like - serious issues around my sexuality). Because kink/fetish = sick/wrong/bad. I backspaced and shut my computer and just sort of stewed in shame for a bit. Then after I turned 18 I was like...ok so I’m technically allowed to look at anything I want, maybe it’s ok to look at it. So I ended up watching a bunch of cartoon vore compilations on youtube.  And then I went to college, joined a gay-straight alliance, and drank some of that sex-positive feminism juice and was like - there’s nothing wrong with your sexuality. As long as you’re not hurting anyone without their consent it’s fine. How I am is fine. Maybe I can write stories for others like me. However, I acknowledge that vore is a kink/fetish and that for people who aren’t into it may be disturbing. Weird at best, distressing at worst. SO - I do not reblog vore stuff to my main. I keep it on my side blog, my kink blog. Which isn’t dirty or wrong or sexual because I acknowledge that this interest isn’t universal and is a unique aspect of individual sexuality/interest. (sexuality is not inherently sexual) It’s about organizing content so people who want it can see it but I’m not exposing anyone without their consent. So like when people have tags like DNI if you’re a kink blog I’m like - but I use a kink blog for kink content and vore is a kink. I am not putting vore on a general content blog nor am I going to knowingly interact with minors. Which isn’t about what minors are allowed to like - it’s about what spaces are safe. Like you realize you’re gay pretty young but that doesn’t make grinder a safe app.  AND with kink stuff, there’s a LOT of potential for abuse BECAUSE it’s not obviously sexual. Like creeps getting minors to engage in kink stuff with them because they don’t know it’s kink.  (side story - there was this guy in the con scene who took extreme perspective shots of girls because they wouldn’t realize what was going on. Finally, a cosplayer/model who had been around the internet and knew that giant/tiny was a kink was like - I think he has a giantess fetish. There’s no reason for this angle. Then he ended up commenting on a youtube cosplay video we made from the wrong account (giantess fan account). She confronted him and he had a folder of giant pictures he’d taken of girls without their consent and saved. THAT IS CREEPY AND WRONG. Minors should be aware of what is a kink/fetish, not because having a kink or fetish is wrong (it’s not) but BECAUSE if you don’t know then harmful people can take advantage and use people without their consent (which is wrong. Doing things without informed consent and an adult doing things with minors who CAN’T consent IS WRONG). 

[thanium]

How this sub got started

19 years and some months ago... (Date unknown, November 2001)

Casually enjoying lunch hour. Mostly alone, figuring out my place in a new environment. Growing up, I travelled a lot, so learning and surveying a new environment to adapt into was, unfortunately, nothing new to me. During this time, I saw an alpha female for the first time in my life. I couldn't look away; what I felt over me was a consuming power and the need to be bound. The feeling didn't go away that easily either. My focus was completely shot for the rest of the day, the only thing I wanted to do was go home. When I finally did, my journey into discovering my submissive side began; at a really young age.

So, at this time education wasn't widely available. Common internet speeds were dial-up (fucking lol), this also wasn't something I could widely talk about in a moderately religious household. So, it was all up to the mind at this point... as strange as it was, this was legitimately all I had. Other details will be being purposefully omitted. I will only share these at my own discretion.

August 2008 - March 2012. These were years I finally got to explore this with my first partner. It was my wake-up call to figure out my role sexually, but also as a human being. The thing with youth is education just isn't there. During this time, when I was finally of age I was able to purchase things for myself, explore everything more than my wildest dreams could even imagine. I owe my former partner a huge thanks for being open to trying this with me, as she was pretty understanding and patient with me. In this period of time; I was able to experience bondage, impact play, CBT, power exchange, protocol, OTK spanking and collar and leash lead.

[weingenious12]

Top 12 in-demand Tech Skills for 2021

The market is transforming at a breakneck pace. Within rapid technological adoption across organizations, several conventional job roles are becoming redundant and are being displaced by newer profiles with evolved skills requirements.

The solution for professionals in this environment is the continuous acquisition of industry-relevant skills. With a firm finger on the pulse of the fast-changing business ecosystem, here are the 12 most in-demand tech skills that companies will look for in 2021.

App Development – Mobile – iOS/Android

In an epoch when the world is heading towards digitalization, mobile apps are gaining incredible traction in all spheres of life and are becoming an indispensable part of the digital ecosystem. Smartphones have become essential items.

These days smartphones, numerous technologies have become unavoidably in our lives. And you can’t ignore that app development has given increased revenue and mobile app development trends started rising and materializing. Both app developers and users are responsible for this evolution.

However, we cannot ignore the fact that these trends have simplified our lives in most of the ways. Hence mobile app development trends will dominate the year 2021. Given the growth in mobile apps, it should come as no surprise that opportunities to work as a mobile developer will only increase in the coming years.

Burning Glass, which compiles and analyses many job postings from across the earth, estimates that mobile app developer jobs will grow 30.7 percent over the next decade.

Cloud – AWS/Azure/GCP

Now, it is no longer the question of whether organizations have to opt for cloud computing or not, the question now is which cloud platform to opt. it has grown into a vast and complex ecosystem of technologies, products, and services that is boosting the economy into a multi-billion-dollar economy. numerous cloud providers compete for an ever-expanding cloud market share. You can find top it companies in india also so you can understand how they work in this concept

A Gartner report predicts that by the end of 2021, the market for public cloud is all set to reach $411 billion in 2021 from $260 billion in 2017.

The cloud computing market is currently flooded with numerous cloud service providers, but AWS, Azure, and Google Cloud Platform (GCP) proudly retain the top three slots.

Machine Learning

Machine learning is attracting more popularity in modern tech. It is a crucial tech skill as it can be applied to diverse industries, including finance, education, health care, agriculture, etc. Businesses across the world are looking at it as the most profitable and innovative skills to adopt. IT firms have already started counting on and adapting solutions supported ML models.

The companies using AI and machine learning are going to be on the top-notch tech firms within the 2021s. Those IT experts who started educating in AI and ML themselves are bound to earn top salaries in 2021. According to McKinsey, 49% of companies are currently exploring or getting to use machine learning. From 2021 to 2024 The global machine learning market is projected to grow from $7.3B to $30.6B, attaining a CAGR of 43%.

UI/UX

It’s no secret that design-led companies outperform their competitors, and we’re increasingly hearing how designers are making their way into corporate boardrooms. With more companies competing to get consumers’ attention today, there is a growing demand for good UI/UX designers.

LinkedIn listed it as one of the 10 most in-demand skills for 2021. In India alone each month, it is estimated that 1,500 to 2,000 UI/UX design jobs for junior designers are added. However, despite encouraging factors like the growing prevalence of a gig economy, the high demand for UI/UX designers, and how lucrative the jobs are when it comes to qualified professionals who can fill these positions. There still exists a significant skill gap.

This skill gap is something that has impacted India’s economy as a whole. A recent skill gap analysis by the Government of India concluded that by 2022, approximately 109 million more skilled workers would be needed. Demand for pixel perfect, usable, and pleasant UX demand is high, especially with accelerating digital transformation underway globally.

Low Code – Mendix, OutSystems

While the Covid-19 has impacted the marketplace for low-code development platforms, overall growth outlook looks promising. Despite the economic recession and negative impact on technology investments, the Low-Code App Development platforms market in 2021 is expected to post double-digit growth in the coming years.

The Universal low-code development platform market is expected to grow from USD 13.2 billion in 2021 to USD 45.5 billion by 2025, at a CAGR of 28.1% during the forecast period. The growing need for digitalization and maturity of agile DevOps practices are expected to strengthen the use of low-code development platform market across the planet.

Adopting low-code development platform solutions for Many Industries like Information Technology (IT), healthcare, manufacturing, government and defence, retail and eCommerce, Banking, Financial Services and Insurance (BFSI) are expected at the simplest rate. Mendix and OutSystems are the best Low-code Development platforms of 2021.

Cyber Security

Security experts are much required in every company and industry, no matter the organization’s size and nature. With organizations fighting a never-ending battle against cyber attackers, the necessity for defenders is generously increasing. As for the longer term, cybercrimes will annually damage $6 trillion of worldwide property by 2021.

While cybersecurity jobs are in high demand, impacting 74% of organizations by remaining unaffected for the third year in a row, in such a scenario, the demand for cybersecurity professionals is going to be high as it is for several years to come.

Cybersecurity professionals are among the foremost sought-after talent this year as companies across sectors seek to strengthen their data security. There are currently over 67,000 job openings in cybersecurity within the country, additionally, to the present, the growing beeline of digital back offices and GICs being found out by large MNCs is also adding to the need for data security and hence the demand for talent in 2021.

DevSecOps

DevSecOps concept will become more important in the field of software development in 2021. The demand for cloud-based architecture to supply mission-critical information technology services to businesses requires a replacement and a more robust methodology. 

Growing demand for DevSecOps which provides highly secure application delivery processes by small and medium scale enterprises across the globe is a key factor expected to drive the growth of the market owing to its ability to provide high speed and agility in the development of delivery cycle of a software.

The Asia Pacific DevSecOps market is primarily attributed to increasing advancements and adoption of emerging technologies such as cloud computing, the Internet of Things (IoT), and many others across various industry verticals in 2021.

Data Visualization

People love stories, and the concept of data visualization for storytelling is rapidly gaining popularity. In 2021, The data visualization market is moderately competitive. The players within the market are innovating in providing strategic solutions to extend their market presence and customer base. This is allowing them to secure new contracts and Knock new markets.

The global data visualization market is expected to register a CAGR of over 9% during the forecast period (2021 – 2025). The emerging nature of knowledge visualization is encouraging a shift toward analytically driven businesses, where users can explore data in various sorts of graphical representations, which were initially only available in tabular reports. Need for Data Visualization engineer is additionally increasing as data is increasing day by day.

Data Engineering

The demand for Data Engineers will still fuel a shortage of knowledge engineering talent in 2021. Data Engineers make it possible for businesses to interact altogether with the flamboyant, advanced analytics, and insight generation that data science produces.

Companies realize as they try to quickly implement data science and AI initiatives, and most urgently, try to enable self-service data science and analytics across their entire organization, that they need more Data Engineers to make this all possible. 

The global big data and data engineering services market is facing high demand. Growth estimates from 2017-2025 range from 18% to a whopping 31% p.a. Companies are investing in data transformational projects with no end in sight. This indicates a tremendous future need for Data Engineer skills.

Internet of things – IoT

The evolution of the IoT has already been around for a short time. After the introduction of the latest metrics for a post-ISA era, Internet-of-Things technologies are successfully re-engineering businesses and modifying optimal ways of running them. These technologies affect nearly all the prevailing industries: healthcare, insurance, smart buildings, manufacturing, transportation & logistics, retailing, and more. 

The most significant IoT trend for 2021 is that IoT networks of connected devices that folks are interacting with are getting to extend, and therefore the amount of knowledge that one can experience from these networks will increase, too. We have deliberately adopted a new lifestyle of being connected all the time.

This is impossible to ignore, and the IoT industry is meeting us halfway. IoT trends 2021 promises to place a spotlight on in both consumer and industrial fields prove that the longer term has already begun, and therefore the technology will keep changing our lives.

Blockchain

The Blockchain Era is has arrived, and it’s now. Enterprises across various sectors of the industry are warming up to the concept of the decentralized ledger. There’s a global wave of Blockchain adoption among companies and businesses to deal with fundamental business problems.

The adoption of Blockchain technology is occurring at such a rapid scale that Gartner predicts the business value of Blockchain tech will exceed $3 trillion by 2030. Blockchain is one of the fastest-growing skill sets now a days with jobs during this domain growing at a mind-blowing rate of two,000-6,000%, and therefore the salaries of Blockchain Developers being 50-100% higher than conventional developer jobs.

The most promising blockchain trends in 2021 are BaaS, short for Blockchain As A Service. It is a new blockchain trend that is currently integrated with several start-ups as well as enterprises.

Gamification

In 2021, we will expect Gamification to step into a replacement level of approachability, functionality, and lifestyle integration because it would appear Gamification has grown up. Gamification in 2021 will make a bigger impact within industries, which have customary processes like education, healthcare, pharmaceuticals, financial services, and so on.

In such industries, Gamification of learning was implemented mainly in areas of compliance and important operations, but with sustained results, Gamification will find application in other areas of learning as well as sales training, onboarding as well as soft skills. The benefits of Gamification to consumer and employee engagement are so apparent, and there’s no doubt about that.

In recent times, we’ve seen companies prioritize the implementation of Gamification to incorporate learning. It has been a permanent fixture in marketing, corporate learning, and training.

However, Gamification is slowly creeping into fields where people were skeptical about its adoption. For example, civic and political organizations were hesitant to embrace Gamification. But it’s predicted that as Gamification finds new meaning, its use in these fields will become more prevalent.

[morningsound15]

You say it's hard to come into a new fandom because you're not a "moderately well known" writer there. You say people should leave more comments and kudos. And that's all true. But when was the last time you gave an unknown writer a chance, the last time you left a comment? In my experience the well known/popular writers rarely give anyone who's not well known the time of the day. Looking at your bookmark list, full of the same popular names when it comes to supercorp and clexa, I doubt you do.

this ask made me sad :(

that’s not rlly what i was saying about entering new fandoms I was more being annoying & complaining bc i was feeling whiny, it’s no ones fault except mine that im not deep in any other tumblr fandom communities I knew it wasn’t good analysis just wanted to b annoying for a moment

I’d encourage you to look through my bookmarks tag, bc while ya there are a lot of clexa & supercorp fics because those are my main fandoms for reading (they are also some of the largest f/f fandom fic communities on the internet, so there’s constantly new & amazing content there), but it is full of a bunch of other weird rarepairs and couples from lesser known shows & things that are not very well known

also if i get to the end of a fic & i like it i literally always comment! or at least I try to. i didn’t always used to do that but the more involved I’ve gotten in writing fic the more active I’ve been as a fic consumer. I don’t spend all my time reading fanfic, so it’s harder for me to find unknown gems, which is why I like to put out calls for other ppl to send me fic recs! Bc there are some fandoms I’m not deep in so I end up finding stuff people have already read. ive left comments on hundreds of fics and I follow tons of different writers on here to keep up with their work & posting schedules! idk for sure if this is true I guess, but I think I’ve commented on every fic that’s in that bookmark tag, & I usually add a little note in the bookmark too, & if I revisit a story I try to comment again. Even if it’s just a “still love this” I do that, so would love for the accusations & assumptions to cease lol

(also it isn’t like a bad thing to like work that other people also like — sometimes there’s a story that’s so good you have to bookmark it.)

My bookmark page is not representative of the amount of fic I read / kudos / comment on / enjoy! I don’t bookmark every fic I read & like, only WIPs I want to follow & things that really impacted me & blew me away, or things that gave me joy & I want to revisit some day. U cannot judge my fandom behavior on my bookmarks list alone (also those fics are all bangers so no h8 to those authors pls I literally love them). I try to have good fandom etiquette because that’s what I hope my readers would do too! idk if you’ve been following me for a while but I am pretty liberal about sharing fic recs & fanart on my own blog, like if I see creator work I like I always try to reshare. I don’t have very many followers but I don’t think that matters too much

sry obv I’m not perfect & don’t expect anyone else to b perfect so im sry if that’s how my words came across but it rlly is something fandom has lost since the boom of tumblr & fandom. idk sometimes I get comments or messages from ppl being like “I’ve read x y z stories of yours and I finally just had to comment” or “I’ve been reading fic for 5 years and have never commented before” and it’s like thank u! But also pls comment on other people’s stuff! Spread fandom love!

anyway sorry for the rant anon, I hope u have a nice day

[vpn-program]

Reasons To Choose A Virtual Server Instead Of A Dedicated Server

The Endorsement Of electronic machine to get fully a hosting remedy can be a serious quick progress. The majority moderate and small partnerships with restricted requirement of capital used this to function their favourite alternative. This system comprises a sturdy ability to satisfy out the gap between cheap shared-hosting together side high-priced focused internet hosting. Together with hosting, most authorities may readily meet up with just about most their custom technical prerequisites and never needing to devote lots of finances to larger-than essential distance for preserving along with other components attributes they could not utilize on a regular basis.

 Other reduced Fees that VPS web hosting provides; it truly is additionally a protected course of action that's comprised together with the backend server making use of each and applications host turning out to be their own aspect. The notion of electronic equipment is not new; the notion of dividing sources of personal host's existed to get many of a long time. All special hosts operate individually and ordinarily don't require any intimate connection with unique servers that is often located on the specific very same server. These servers behave like they truly are in a something of servers which can be hosts which can be not individual. With this specific hosting selection becoming more popular now, somebody may wonder specifically what rewards it supplies over the servers which can be very dedicated. The benefits of VPS are multiple and diverse in character as well as just about any committed procedure.

 Multiple Domain benefit: it truly is theoretically possible to sponsor a number of domains from just VPS system. This really is an important feature because your company that includes registered multiple domains names can host it in to an electronic 최고의 vpn hosting atmosphere without a excess selling price.

 Performance Isolation: if hosting those sites such manners, your own internet site does not suffer any negative whilst the operation along with additionally sources of the website is divided by others. It gets exceptionally essential from your long-term as you are ready to control and interrogate committed applications in any moment in addition to easy operation.

 Functional Isolation: This specific form of servers don't discuss any form of applications or services together with various servers around the specific very same stage. You may discover restricted resource allocated to each man for CPU use, memory and processes.

 Price Cutting: the entire amount of price incurred to maintain this server up is quite a bit lower in comparison to total price tag of running another server. Irrespective of the way that the minimize is only restricted by price tag and also to not other features as you'll acquire equal multitude of protection, versatility and also other capital as you get it achieved with dedicated servers. The level of versatility that consumer gets is basically at the cost which is percentage of this which she he or she would have now been covered servers that are dedicated.

 Perfect manner For little to medium size ventures: electronic equipment is relegated into a smaller to medium size establishments hosting their own particular online site in a minimum amount of cash annually. In specialized only a huge variety of associations conducting on line trade and also acquiring higher-traffic requires dedicated server utilizing enormous hosting space along with other committed software; nevertheless smaller and average size sites can de light from the internet hosting services and flexibility with all the help of hosting that is digital. Together with all the custom necessitates of instruments which individual sites demands, digital machine possess arrive big aid.

 Despite the Fact That Amount of performance and reliability advantage out of your servers is high, the Gap it supplies in contrast with digital servers is not major for moderate And smaller dimensions websites. At Any Time You choose to Receive a Digital server, you are Spending cash on the sheet with this server along with custom sponsor requirements. Along with These programs can extend when you increase.

[noobietech-blog]

Best Important Factors to Think about Before Using Free Web Hosting

Free web hosting is a popular trend in the current web hosting globe, where one has to make and run their internet site at no cost, with no cent invested. One has to come across tens of thousands of different free web hosting businesses over the Internet using a fast search. These different businesses aren't exactly the same, but they're alike in the sorts of absolutely free web hosting providers they are providing. As a result, before you begin looking for any free server, dining table out all of your crucial conditions clearly is the secret. Then specify the ranking for all these requirements within their descending sequence, begin with the person with the maximum priority. This can help to push to your host choice to be simpler and less time-consuming.

A few Important aspects to consider when it comes to finding a free web host-

a. Ad-free hosting - The simple fact is these free web hosting businesses are providing their services at no cost, which in turn they'll have the liberty to put their ads on your own sites at no cost, that's the earnings where they're targeting for in the first location. This is the way they make money and live.

It's quite tough to locate some free hosting that is advertising free, however the least that you'd most likely do would be to check out what type of advertisements are they posting at your website. If the server is honest to split the content of their ads along with you, with those ads not portraying any components of violence, it's worth consideration particularly if yours is a little internet business and is restricted with respect to preparing a budget for the beginning.

b. Space / bandwidth - Free hosting frequently rent their servers and all of the resources of the exact same server has to be shared with all of its customers, which is up to tens of thousands at a specified time period. As a result of this fact, it's quite rare and improbable for free web hosting to supply large bandwidth and distance to some of their clientele. If you're provided by some free providers with over 10GB of bandwidth and space, you ought to reconsider the deal carefully before purchasing in for there could be concealed mischief and tricks on the other side of the monitor.

The normal quantity of bandwidth provided by a free host array from 1GB to 3GB, and should you believe your website would need more than that level of bandwidth, then the information is to go for paid hosting because they are going to have the ability to satisfy your hosting requirements rather than totally free web hosting.

c.Technical Support - It's quite rare to find any technical support in the totally free web hosting provider as you haven't being paying to get the monthly charges to be requesting the service today. Since this non-charge services have to be operated inside a decrease budget compared to dedicated or shared hosting, they can't manage to person to the live service, rather their customers will be requested to get in touch with the specified telephone number or email address should you chance to manage some problems regarding your websites and its own providers.

If your site is encouraging a little internet business and intermittent down-time remains okay, then free web hosting is the best selection for you. But it is going to be a different case if you're in charge of a massive operation supporting countless smaller businesses or possessing tens of thousands of customers, where complimentary hosting is not something sensible for moderate or large internet enterprise.

Have you ever heard of Bluehost? Bluehost Hosting is a trusted web host with powerful capabilities. Being among the oldest brand in the business, they have something you ought to have a peek at. Check out Bluehost review to learn more.

[multi-fandom-fictions]

Consider 9 ways to promote your channel on YouTube.

 Content

1. Add your own badges

2. Come up with an attractive name.

3. Analyze the Google Search Results Page

4. Add a call to action

5. Allow (and remind) people to embed your videos

6. Use cross-advertising

Research problem

7. Harness the power of playlists

8. Start the weekly video publishing cycle

9. Engage viewers to interact with you

To summarize

1. Add your own badges

The viewer's eyes will stop on your video for literally one or two seconds - and during this time you need to convince him to watch exactly your video. A good badge is just as important as the name. Do not neglect the opportunity to make an eloquent thumbnail that well conveys the content of the video. For example, after VICE added a thumbnail to one of their videos, it got to the YouTube homepage and became one of the most popular videos:

There are some simple rules that you should follow when creating an icon, because it is displayed not only on the official YouTube site, but also used as a preview image when someone embeds video material on their site. Google makes the following recommendations:

Resolution: 1280 by 720 pixels (minimum width - 640 pixels);

File Format: JPG, GIF, BMP or PNG;

File size: no more than 2 megabytes;

Desired aspect ratio: 16: 9.

You can add a thumbnail immediately after downloading the video. To add an icon to an existing video, go to the “Video Manager”, click “Edit” and select the “Custom Icon” option to the right of the video.

2. Come up with an attractive name.To promote on YouTube, you need to create an attractive title. It’s necessary to describe the content of the video in a sufficiently comprehensive manner so that people would like to watch it, and keep in mind that YouTube’s too long title will simply crop it. The name should be interesting, but not sound like a clear "lure." Try to add keywords that users won’t be able to resist.

3. Analyze the Google Search Results Page

There are several ways to improve your position in search results. The most effective SEO maneuver is keyword analysis. One approach you can take is to analyze the Google Search Results Page (SERP).

The point is: focus on the keywords that Google always provides video links as search results. For example, if you enter “cool dances” into the search, then almost the entire results page will be occupied by video. After all, few people want to read an article about dancing, but everyone wants to look at them:

 If you see that on the first page of search results there are almost no text links, but there are a lot of videos, then this is a great keyword. For comparison, you can check similar queries. For example, “cool dances” or “cool dance moves”, and see in which case the search results are best suited to your video, and for what queries there will be fewer competitors. Use them to promote videos on YouTube.

4. Add a call to action

If a user watched your video and left, it means that you did not give him the opportunity to do something else on your channel. In the context of YouTube, there are four main types of user actions: subscribing to a channel, watching your other videos, commenting on a video and clicking on the “Like” or “Share” buttons

End savers. They look like hints, they only appear at the end of the video and occupy the entire screen.

Video descriptions. Descriptions are important - insert a link to your website or social media accounts in them and do not hesitate to ask viewers to click on them!

5. Allow (and remind) people to embed your videosWhen you upload a video to a channel, you can enable or disable embedding it. Embedding allows you to take a video and add it to another site, blog, channel - and this can perfectly advertise you. Just do not forget to indicate that when reposting a reference to the author of the material is required.

When promoting a channel on YouTube for free, to enable the ability to embed video, go to the "Video Manager", click "Change" and check the "Enable embed video" checkbox in the advanced settings.

 To embed a video, viewers will need to click on the Share button

6. Use cross-advertising

It may not seem like such an advanced technique for free promotion of the YouTube channel, but you will be surprised to learn how many people forget about the possibility of using other areas of their activities to promote the channel on YouTube.

Paste your videos regularly in newsletters, blog posts, email signatures, and social media descriptions. Find a way to make your videos interesting to the “consumers” of your other content and make the most of your audience.

Research problem

The marketing company found that the most views of a particular video occur in Paste your videos regularly in newsletters, blog posts, email signatures, and social media descriptions. Find a way to make your videos interesting to the “consumers” of your other content and make the most of your audience.

Research problem

The marketing company found that the most views of a particular video occur during its active promotion.

You can’t just create a video page and move on. To support the growth in the number of views, you need to continue to advertise the video, analyze the search results for keywords and make the necessary changes, respond to comments and moderate them.

 7. Harness the power of playlists

Playlists help people find your videos, can raise your video in search results and, most importantly, the next video in them starts automatically as soon as the previous one ends. Users need to make one clickless to continue watching your content. You can experiment with adding other people's popular videos to your playlist - perhaps users will continue to watch your videos after watching a third-party one.

Playlists also provide the ability to attach additional keywords to videos.

8. Start the weekly video publishing cycle

Posting new videos regularly is the best reason to subscribe to your channel. If viewers know what to expect - say, a video on a specific topic or with a specific presenter every Friday, the likelihood that they will subscribe to your channel increases significantly. And this allows you to recommend your remaining videos to subscribers, so do not neglect the regular release of the video.

One of the best examples of this approach to creating and promoting a channel on YouTube is Moz, which many Internet marketers are waiting for every week. Also pay attention to how this series of videos is grouped on the channel page:

 The Moz channel is well organized thanks to the distribution of videos into various categories.

9. Engage viewers to interact with you

Interaction with viewers works both ways - if you want users to interact, you need to interact with them. The sphere of interaction with the audience includes responses to comments, subscribing to other users' channels, creating video responses, organizing contests for viewers, collaborating with other brands and much more - only your imagination is a limitation.

In many ways, YouTube is a typical social network, and, like in any social network, you need to act in real time, on business, and sincerely. Communication with viewers and holding contests will ensure an influx of viewers who will regularly return to your channel. Working with other brands will open a new audience for you.

To summarize

We hope that the tips in this article will help you in the comprehensive promotion of the YouTube channel, and the number of your subscribers will only grow.

[r0sefromc0ncrete-blog]

Get The Gaming Help You Seek With These Top Tips

Get The Gaming Help You Seek With These Top Tips

Do you need some suggestions about video games? Everybody has a question sometimes, and the Internet is the place to get the answers they need. This article will give you some great tips to increase your gaming experiences.

Put the subtitles on. If you can't hear the dialogue because of the music or gunfire, you must do something about it. Search for the game's subtitle option. It's typically included in the audio section. You can generally find a setting here to toggle subtitles on and off.

Before purchasing a game for a child, make sure to look at its rating. This rating indicates the appropriate age levels for games and lets you know if they include violence. It can ultimately help you determine whether or not you want to purchase the game.

Remember to take cover while reloading your shooter video weapon. A lot of time people get killed when they are just not controlling their character. You don't want this to occur to you! Find cover and then reload.

Stretch every fifteen minutes during video game play. Repetitive movements involved in gaming can be stressful for your body. You need to stretch your muscles to prevent cramping and also to benefit your circulation. This is for your health.

Spend some time with your children by playing games you all enjoy. Almost every child has at least some level of interest in video games, providing an opportunity for them to learn some valuable skills. There are many educational video games out there, not to mention the hand and eye coordination your kids will get from playing the games.

If you have children, you should utilize the parental controls whenever possible. The game might be able to be played online. If it does have this capability, minimize your child's access to the Internet. Also, keep an eye on the requests for friends and how much time they can play.

Buying the right console for video gaming can be a tough decision. You must consider everything from your own needs and preferences to the advanced features and capabilities of each system. Try researching online. Reviews of consoles can give you a better idea of which are the highest quality. Consoles are expensive, making it extremely important to do your homework before parting with a few hundred dollars.

Consider getting a demo of a game prior to getting the full blown version of it first. These video game trials are extremely helpful in helping you determine if you want to spend your hard earned cash on a game. If you enjoy a video game's demo, then you can go get the complete version of it.

Gaming is fun but enjoy other hobbies, too. Playing too much can be bad for you. Make sure that you enjoy other parts of life also. People can become addicted to video games, so exercise moderation when playing them.

Tr reducing your level of cheat codes used for skill-dependent games. Using cheat codes on these types of games only cheapens them, making them not worth playing. Implementing cheat codes or other tricks can help you when are stuck or when you need to get past a difficult level or catch up.

When you go to buy a new video game, keep an eye on how much it costs. Just because a game is expensive doesn't make it great. Find out all you can before making a decision. Online reviews can also be very helpful in deciding whether to make a purchase. Avoid buying something when you have doubts or not completely sure about it.

If you're selling your old games, be sure to post some online ads to draw up some interest. Sites like eBay and Craigslist are great places to reach lots of potential consumers, but don't begin with them. There are lot of times, however, where there are shipping problems or people that won't pay on auction sites. Try selling your games locally to avoid getting scammed.

Use what you have learned here to educate your others about gaming. Your friends and family will most likely be grateful for the information you can now share with them on gaming. And if you practice enough, you could even join competitions. Gaming is an excellent hobby but also a viable career choice, so give it some thought if you 파워볼사이트  are interested in games above the level of the average player.

[yesvac]

Podcasting Dungeons & Dragons: How “The Adventure Zone” is Reviving Oral Storytelling

Topic: Podcasts, oral storytelling, “The Adventure Zone”

Date: 14 October 2019

Read time: 10 minutes

When I was young and visited my grandma’s house, I always asked her to read me Go, Dog. Go! by Dr. Seuss before I went to sleep. This was a reasonable request when I was little, but when I began to grow older, regularly reading chapter books on my own, I would still ask my grandma to read me Go Dog. Go! at the end of the night. It was something about how she sat at the side of my bed, squishing me up against the wall, and said those words that had been repeated many times before. And I am not alone in my fond memories of repeated oral story. People love repeated stories, ones told over and over: myths, narratives, family tales. We love these stories not only for their themes and the multitudes of love they contain, but because oral storytelling is a deeply human instinct: in 1998, a professor at the University of Texas at Austin described that “oral tradition… becomes story as it is retold, resung.” So where do podcasts of the modern age factor in? Podcasts are a medium of oral storytelling, and I plan to explore that idea through exploring the podcast “The Adventure Zone.” “The Adventure Zone’s” specific medium of storytelling and its enjoyed popularity teaches lessons about methods and mediums of story, and how they impact storytelling.

To understand how a podcast can do that, it’s important to know what “The Adventure Zone” is. “The Adventure Zone” is a series of publicized recordings (or, a podcast) created and recorded by the McElroy brothers (Justin, Travis, and Griffin McElroy), podcast-artists and comedians, with their dad. In it, they participate in and play a Dungeons & Dragons campaign they call “Balance.” “The Adventure Zone: Balance” has 69 episodes, and seven story arcs, amounting to over 75 hours. During the podcasts, the players not only play Dungeons & Dragons and fight monsters, but also develop each of their characters, and Griffin, the Dungeon Master of the game (for those who aren’t intimately familiar with D&D: he crafts the story and moderates the game), creates a web of story and plot throughout the 75-hour runtime of the campaign. There’s no way to tell how many people listen to “The Adventure Zone Podcast,” because there are dozens of podcast-streaming websites and no publicly posted number of listeners or listens; however, in the past few years, the show has enjoyed a boost of popularity and a geniune “following” of listeners. But why? What compels people spend dozens of hours listening to four men play Dungeons & Dragons? 

As I mentioned previously, podcasts are one of the newest and most explosive forms of oral storytelling. While not many of the younger generation watch news on the television (or watch television at all), almost all of them listen to public radio or podcasts through an app. As Nicholas Mirzoeff discusses in his piece “How to See the World,” the newly created “global network” has allowed us to “create, send and view images of all kinds, from photographs to video, comics, art, and animation.” Podcasting is an aspect of this new global network and may be counted as an image shared through it. Most people own technology that gives them access to podcasts through the internet, and consuming their shared images is easier now than ever. 

Through the medium of podcast, there is a certain shared experience akin to the shared experience of intimate oral storytelling. It harkens back to the days of shared story through oral connections, over a fire with friends or a family story not recorded in a written format but passed along through generations. As Juliette de Maeyer recognizes in her article “Podcasting Is the New Talk-Radio,” podcasts “bring you to places you’ve never been… give you the impression of sharing an animated kitchen-table banter... with a couple of friends. In that regard, podcasts are a “sensational” medium.” In “The Adventure Zone,” during long monologues by Griffin, the Dungeon Master, there’s often background music that recalls the musical theme used before in the campaign or arc, while Griffin narrates a story with meaningful themes of death, family, love, loss and loneliness. Certainly, “The Adventure Zone” is a sensational medium when it uses repeated music to elicit an emotional response. Additionally, this concept relates to Thomas Turino’s idea of artistic connections in his piece “Why Art Matters,” when he claimed that “the connections expressed through art flow from and create a deeper sense and a different type of understanding.” By using the repeated artistic expression of music in the podcast, the creators tap into a deeper level of understanding of the listeners. Many podcast creators do. 

What comes from this emotional response and formed connection is an imagined community by the podcast-listeners. In “How to See the World,” Mirzoeff discusses Benedict Anderson’s theory of imagined communities: that all communities are imagined, because people in it have not truly formed a connection with all of the other members. Anderson describes imagined communities of nations, which often result in patriotism, or imagined communities of readers of newspapers, who feel connections with the readers of the same newspaper. In that case, listeners to podcasts are certainly members of an imagined community, both with the podcast artists (those who record podcasts), in the case that they feel an intimate connection through the oral tradition of storytelling, and with the other fans, in “fandom.” Two fans of the same podcast who have never met can form bonds across boundaries of nation and language because they have an imagined community of being two people who both really, really like this podcast.

But let us rewind a bit, and understand more about the oral medium of storytelling. I want to talk about the oral medium in general and why it’s so persuasive now in 2019. It’s clear that the younger generation of people are less interested in big media the way previous generations have been -- big media meaning CNN, ABC, Fox News and CBS. Even big news outlets like The Atlantic and Washington Post and The NY Times enjoy less recognition and popularity from Millenials and Gen-Z readers. Most people in this age group do not watch the news but instead listen to NPR on their favorite podcasting platform, or any other podcast and talk-radio medium recordings. There is good reason for this. As a Maeyer describes “big news” in 2019, it’s often clouded with “hateful trolls, hysterical fake news outlets, a news agenda led by Russian hackers, and a never-ending spiral of conspiracy theories.” The oft-repeated mantra of “fake news” has led to the younger generation’s rejection of big news outlets with a lack of trust, and it could also explain the younger generation’s attraction to podcasting and oral storytelling as a way to strip the spread of information down to individual voices and intimately shared connections. 

If I allowed myself a paragraph to nerd out about “The Adventure Zone” in my article about “The Adventure Zone,” it’d go a bit like this: That’s not to discredit the importance of the creativity and outstanding qualities of “The Adventure Zone.” For my argument, it’s just one example of a podcast, when there are thousands of podcasts in the world, that connects to its listeners through the format of oral storytelling. But this podcast is the real deal for an example of how revolutionary podcasting can be as a contributer to storytelling. What other form of storytelling requires its consumers to listen and pay attention for almost 100 hours -- and they do it, quite willingly? And it’s not a bore -- “The Adventure Zone” podcast is carefully organized into seven different arcs, all with unique characters, different settings, connected through a complicated non-chronological plot. It’s an intricately woven story with fully developed and realized characters and relationships between them: romantic relationships, friendships, fully-developed and realistic portrayals of family. And one of the reasons why I think its portrayal of these relationships is so popular is because it is created by a family. This podcast is created by three brothers and a dad.  They know what sibling relationships look like. They know what familial loss looks like. And the result of it is something that is so rarely created: a collaboration between a family. And, when it comes down to it, it’s also just a really funny podcast. 

Justin: Uh, I’m, I’m playing, uh, a wizard.

Griffin: ‘Kay.

Justin: His name is spelled “T-A-A-K-O”.

Travis: So like “tay… tay-ko?”

Griffin: So like “tayko…”

Justin: “Tahk”… Well, I mean, the… It’s two “a”s so…

Griffin: Is your wizard named… Are you naming your goddamn wizard “Taco”?

Methods of communication and mediums of storytelling (or, more simply, the ways to tell a story) develop along with the rapidly changing world around us. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Podcasts are widely available to any person with an internet connection and a device to listen on. Creating friends and sharing connections with people who also love the same media is a beautiful thing, regardless of how empty the promise of an imagined community is. Also, one of the reasons I study humanities is because of its focus on humans and their stories. And from what I’ve seen, the shift from bigger, more corrupt and corporate-influenced outlets and big news to individual voices has simply resulted in more intimate storytelling, and a focus on stories from people.

[3500things]

national coming out day 2019

originally posted 10.11.2019 on my personal facebook page

To everyone:

National Coming Out Day is today, Friday October 11, 2019.

And I know this post is late. I realize it is after midnight on the east coast so technically it isn’t National Coming Out Day anymore, but something happened tonight that was monumental- and I didn’t get to finish my initial thought while writing earlier. Keep reading, please:

I am excited to celebrate in my first National Coming Out Day, in 2019, as an officially-out member of the gay community. However, today has been very emotional as it causes me to pause for a moment and reflect on my own journey and how I arrived here. As I am reading articles and newsfeeds on the internet today and seeing people compelled in the acceptance and encouragement of this day, to come out, I must say I have very pointed and mixed emotions.

I have mentioned and identified myself as a gay man in a few blogs that I have written recently (that I am sure nobody reads), however, this is really the first time I have publicly acknowledged it as a whole on Facebook- other than to those who I have directly come out to. I have taken pleasure in promoting myself as an ally for a few years now, but I am tired of hiding behind that identity and am ready to step out into the light and live a full, unfiltered and authentic life.

I have known I was different for a long time. I felt feelings as a young child that I simply did not understand, and those feelings did not go away- they never have and only intensified over time. I was raised in an extremely conservative-Christian household, taught that being gay was an immoral and unnatural thing, I got the hellfire and brimstone speech and I was encouraged and forced to speak hate towards things that were supposedly against God. And I did those things. And I hurt people. And I never wanted to do them. But, I always knew that I was what I was forced to speak out about.

I became extremely depressed and suicidal in my teenage years. I tucked away my true self and I damaged myself mentally and physically with the rhetoric I was forced to digest. I never felt like I could be me, until now. In this moment. But getting to this point hasn’t been easy. It has been countless therapy sessions, panic attacks, many nights crying myself to sleep and length of time to get me to finally accept myself and allow myself to explore with the God-given (yes, God-given) gift that being gay has ultimately brought me.

Let’s talk about God for just a quick moment. Know that I am a spiritual person but there is no religion here. Not a drop.

You can throw Genesis 19, Leviticus 18 & 20, Romans 1:18-32, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 and 1 Timothy 1:8-10 at me all day. The Bible says what it says, but it does not mean anything to me personally. The Bible was a manuscript that was written for an ancient time, in an ancient time and does not take into consideration the advancements in human thought and condition over the many years since its inception. The Bible should not be a standard to compare, govern nor should it be used as a tool ultimately control how people live nowadays. Without discrediting the text itself, I do believe there are great life-lessons to be learned from the Bible about love and how to conduct yourself in a more upright way. However, I believe that taking the current Christian argument to the case of homosexuality is the wrong thing to do. And I will vehemently disagree with anyone who does this. It is damaging. It is hurtful and it adds no real value to anything.

Contrary to what religious types will argue, being gay is not wrong. It is not ungodly; it is not a sin and gay people will not go to Hell- even if there is such a place. Being gay is way more than a physical thing. It is an emotional intelligence, it is the idea of love, acceptance and tolerance that comes with a huge responsibility. Being gay is not defined by who you love or choose to be intimate with or enter into marriage with. It is not a choice; it is a reality, a truth, a tangible thing. It is also a greater expansion of oneself, ones spirit and your ability to express love and accept love.

Saying that I was a repressed gay man until the age of 34 is the understatement of the year. I wanted so desperately to explore my sexuality in high school, when at age 16 I decided that I had struggled long enough with trying to figure out what being gay meant and finally internally accepted that I was.

However, I didn’t have the freedom to operate in or express my sexuality, as a teen in my household, at the time. I got bullied in school for not dating women, so I did, and I eventually married a woman. Several years in, while trying rather unsuccessfully at keeping the charade going and while being accused almost daily of being a closeted gay man- we divorced. I had to lie to my friends and family, I had to create a scenario where I was the good guy and she was the bad guy and she did all these things that contributed to the breakdown in our marriage. I wanted something that I felt like I couldn’t have at the time and I couldn’t be the partner she needed much less deserved. We are both better people apart than we ever were together and marrying her is the single biggest regret in my life.

As I’ve grown older and started to formulate my own opinions and ideas about things, I decided to distance myself from my faith and seek a journey of my own understanding. Part of that journey was finally resolving in this year to come out to friends and family.

I told everyone by the end of July, except my dad. I know his opinion of gay folks- he has made it clear. Nothing derogatory of course, but the ignorance to it shows through sometimes. I also know where he stands from a religious perspective- he has also made that clear. He has accepted my friends who are gay, he wants to meet my new friends who are RubiGirls, see a drag show and he wants to know things or ask things but is sometimes hesitant to do it.

I’ve been on an exposure-therapy campaign with him over the past several months. I put a pride flag in my bedroom, some drag queen paraphernalia went on display, I went to 2 Pride celebrations this year- one in Dayton and the other in Cincinnati. He knows what I’m doing is out of the ordinary for me because I’ve never done it before but have always wanted to and have been interested in it. I wanted to go to a Pride event for many years, but I just couldn’t do it. So, as I’ve slowly been exposing him to things and being a little more vocal about my standpoints and viewpoints on LGBTQIA+ issues in the news and culture, he has started to gather and form an opinion.

Today, I was reading a page on Facebook that stated it was a moderated safe space for individuals who were not out to talk and share their stories. What I read was heartbreaking; just the sheer ignorance of parents and things they say to their children just for being gay. I wanted to talk to dad about it, and I did. I told him some of the terrible things that happened to people- mostly issues between sons and fathers- and he expressed to me his disgust with families disowning children just for being gay. I understand and fully appreciate his comment of “…well, I don’t understand it totally, but I’d want my kid to be happy and healthy. There are bigger ‘crimes’ than being gay.”

This ultimately led into a 90+ minute conversation where I was able to tell him how I felt and my entire 16-year backstory. There is more to discuss between he and I, but my tone was measured and precise. The main thing I needed to say, in order to heal myself, be true to myself and allow myself to advance in my life were these 4 words: Dad, I am gay.

We talked and talked some more. He is not mad, a little confused (which is a normal response), and more reflective. He expressed to me that he wants me to be happy, healthy and to make wise decisions (typical dad advice). He also said he loves me and supports me, and always will, regardless of any decision I make – good or bad – in my life.

What a relief this is! On my first real National Coming Out Day I was able to finish writing the prologue of my story of becoming the person I always knew I could be. I am starting to write the chapters of my new life around all the garbage that is in the past. It’s a new day and I am ready to face it with the full support and love of my parents by my side. I truly am blessed and lucky to have this experience play out as it did. A lot of people do not get what I have, and I am very fortunate.

For those of you who need support in whatever journey you may be on, reach out to me if you feel comfortable in doing so. I’m a safe person to come out to. If you’re reading this and you have questions, contact me too. I’m an open book- ask away. If you’re reading this, and you have nothing positive or of value to say then move on.

Thanks for allowing me to share my life so unfiltered and express that vulnerability on the internet for all to consume. This goes a long way in my healing and with moving forward in my life. And, thank you to all of those who have supported me in the past several months as I have made declarations to you about my life. Your love and support mean the world to me and I can never thank you enough.

Love, Jacob