#the misadventures of steve and jimmy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aleatoryalarmalligator · 7 years ago

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Life Story Part 94

*Zack is a thing that happened, and I don't want to talk about him anymore even though I suppose it's only chronological and natural that I must. I am not off the hook so easily, there is still more to go. He probably made up about ten percent of my life story in some way so there's that.

I feel like these last chapters have been about him – as much as they have been about the developments in Sarah and my friendship and in my own emotional evolution. I look over what I have written on the computer screen, and I see so many Z's that don't deserve my thoughts. He doesn't deserve this kind of recognition from me.

Unfortunately, it's not quite over – though this is a turning point in the story where I began again to gain some new independence and gracefully begin treading into the post-father, post-Zack years of my life, years that I survived in the end though I had at times never thought I would. These things that happened five to seven years ago started me into the years that are what I feel more defined by directly than by what came before.

What I have hoped to do (maybe to selfishly vindicate myself, who knows?), was to express that I came into what later happened unknowingly – I didn't want to give away that Zack was a slimeball and i knew all along this would end up happening to me, or that Sarah fucked up my ability to trust people. I wanted people to understand how it naturally unfolded. And there are still pieces I am not giving away – or at least I am not trying to. I could have let on early that Zack wasn't who I thought he was, but if I had done that then there would be a dishonesty in returning to those pre-Zack times and attempting to relive the anticipation with the innocence of my unknowing. Thirteen year old me had no idea what would be happening ten years later. I fell into most of the feelings I have had quite innocently – expecting something otherworldly at most to become me at some point or other. And up till my post-Zack years, I feel like a lot of it wasn't something I could take full responsibility for – I was desperately doing anything I could in the moment to stay afloat to pursue that mysterious tingling feeling in my heart that there were better things ahead if I could just keep sailing.

And I am extreme example of a late bloomer. I feel like I am a tulip in winter. Things people my age were doing at nineteen, I have just gotten around to doing nine years later at the ripe old age of twenty-eight. I'm like an old teenager or something. It's weird. And with that I will begin again to explain the my misadventures and about that blue eyed idiot that I wasted so much time thinking about, and what that all lead to.*

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Zack had long been written off by his parents. Nobody wanted to give him money anymore long before he came to Sarah and I. He'd exhausted most of his resources. He was more or less ignored by most of his friends anymore – even the ones who had seemed like inseparable body parts to him at one point or another. And then Sarah started dating Zack, and his parents suddenly saw this drug-free, beautiful and thoughtful young girl had taken an interest in their Zack and they suddenly had found more money in their pockets to throw at him. They believed that she was there to fix their disaster of a son for them. She served some kind of purpose – to shape their egomaniacal self destructive son into some mild mannered young Christian man who's number one care was saving up for retirement and making sure he got all the grass even as he mowed the lawn outside the picket fence home where he lived a white middle class existence with his 2.5 children and submissive housewife. Sarah gave credibility to the uncredible. After my father told Zack to scram, Sarah and Zack stayed at Zack's father's place – and early on they brought me with them.

Zack's father was named Randy. Randy I had known about for years – but never talked to. He had the big nose that both Zack and his sister Whitney inherited. It wasn't an ugly nose – I think society unfairly categorizes big noses into being ugly – when on the contrary they have their own unique elegance that is often overlooked. Randy worked and was a mid-level boss at the TDS phone company. His grandparents had been responsible for bringing telephone to Minnesota – and had made a lot of money off of it. Randy had the remaining money from those times. He squirreled that money away for his retirement. He saved the rest and put it in a retirement account for when Zack and Whitney became of age to inherit it in their late sixties.

Randy had moved the family to Idaho when Zack was twelve, which I was now beginning to wish he hadn't. Both Whitney and Zack rebelled against their middle class upbringing. Either one of them could have gone to college. There was money set aside for that. But they both collectively and individually were not interested in being wealthy. They resented their upbringing, and they both inherited their mother's mental illnesses. This isn't to say that Randy wasn't also responsible for Whitney and Zack's issues. He spoiled Zack, seeing him in that patriarchal father-son kind of way. Whitney to some degree was never really given the kind of care that Zack was given by both his mother and father. Everyone said Zack was a sensitive boy who needed special care.

Cindy was Randy's wife in the beginning, and Whitney and Zack's mother. They divorced when Zack was sixteen. At that time, Zack had been dating Melissa, whom I agonized over back when. Whitney had been dating Melissa's older brother, Josh. It was weird, but I guess it wasn't incestuous exactly – and it wasn't intentional. They just liked one another I suppose. What made it weird was, after Cindy and Randy's divorce, Randy decided to marry Josh and Melissa's mother, Theresa. Zack and Melissa broke up, but Whitney and Josh dated on and off even after their parents married each other. And I suppose I couldn't blame them since they had been dating long before their parents hooked up.

Theresa, was/is a drunk. She had a hard life – but somehow despite all that she retained a lot of youthful attributes. She slept with a lot of people. She fought with her children. And eventually she attempted to commit suicide. It was around the time that Randy was hunting for a new wife. Randy is simple. He had no need for anything more than someone to fill the role. He heard Theresa had attempted to kill herself, he drove up to her trailer, literally walked in and took her with him in his pick up to live with him and get married. And this really probably saved Theresa's life. It wasn't romantic by any means, in fact I think Randy's need to adhere to the social structure of being married for the sake of being married, and capitalizing on some poor drunk woman who's son was dating his daughter, knowing she would be vulnerable enough state of mind to say yes to marriage without question was rather base. Randy didn't seem right to me honestly, but he was so simple and pragmatic in his day to day life, you had to sort of tilt your head to see the discrepancies at times.

As for Cindy, she remarried too. The guy was basically a none moving entity that sat on the couch all day and watched football. Occasionally Cindy would scream and cry at him, but he would just sit there unflinching. The thing about Cindy is that she is very mentally unstable. I talk about a lot of mentally unstable people in my own family and in my own life and to some degree myself as well. But even at it's worst, even with my father for instance, most of the time he is a self aware and resourceful independent person. Most of the brokenness is environmental and societal. Cindy was born broken. She is insecure and needy, she screamed and cried. She went into religious tirades. I believe she would be capable of murder if she were only brave enough to go through with it.

She seems at first like a submissive homemaker. She's a brilliant seamstress, probably the most brilliant seamstress I've ever known. She can make anything. But she's somewhere between a helpless blubbering mess and a vicious religious freak. She can go between sobbing hysterics and insecure feelings of being tread on – to a sudden bloodthirsty obsessive anger. However, she seemed incapable of acting out on that anger directly. I thought my mother was bad until I met Cindy. Her first son was named Jimmy, and Jimmy had been taken away from Cindy due to Cindy being a danger to him. That was years ago, before she had Zack and Whitney. Right before the move to Idaho, Cindy had heard voices telling her she was a prophet of God and she had to leave her family and venture off into the world to proclaim the message of the Lord. She ended up hitchhiking to Las Vegas or something, and from there she was places into an asylum. Randy got her out. He never talked about her mental illness. He seemed to find mentally unwell women, and then proceeded to ignore them and play house with them in a very non personal way, or at least it seemed to me to be impersonal. I wondered if there was some kind of method to his madness.

I remember the first night I was driven up to Cindy's. She lived twenty miles up the grade north of Kendrick in a town equally as small – called Deary. It was the middle of absolute nowhere. It was later evening. She came to the door manically excited. She was drunk. I had a lot of sympathy for her. It looked like she was feeling everything. She was so excited to have Zack over. I could tell that she was really obsessed with Zack. Eventually Sarah and Zack went into another room, and I ended up spending a half hour talking to Cindy. She kept pouring herself more wine. She had been crying all night. Randomly calling people and yelling at them. I could tell everyone ignored her. Her new husband Steve sat stoically on the couch watching reruns of Home Improvement. He never moved or spoke. Cindy would scream at him, and he might as well have been a log. Zack ignored his mother too. I guessed this was what you did with her. She was insatiable. Still, I could only imagine that being Cindy had to be extremely lonely. Nobody wanted to be around her at all.

She took me into the back room of her house. In that room she had drawn pictures of Zack and Whitney as babies. She literally had set up these shrines of both of them as babies. And she talked lovingly about the both of them, but as I came to realize she was more interested in the idea of Zack and Whitney as babies then she was of them as adults. Despite the weird Christian homemaker thing gone wrong, I did have to acknowledge that Cindy had a very creative element to her. She was talented, and crafty. She then got out pictures of Zack and Whitney from twenty years before and though I barely knew her at all, she went through each photo with me one by one in great detail. I went along with it, as Zack and Sarah ate and carried on.

I didn't ever spend too much time around Cindy though. I remember one time I went with Sarah and Zack into Lewiston because Cindy was having an emotional breakdown and wanted to eat ice cream at Dairy Queen and talk about it. I had put in one of my very favorite sixties records 'Odyssey and Oracle' by The Zombies. It's better than the Beatles. I wouldn't say that The Zombies were as a whole better than The Beatles because they only made two albums and only one of them is solid. But for what is there, it is extremely solid. And Zack didn't like it. In fact, I could tell Zack was really annoyed if I ever put in music to listen to. I thought he was pretty basic. I was getting tired of the menfolk getting annoyed at women for picking the car music.

We ended up spending a lot of nights visiting at Randy's house. It was also the first time I really spent time with Whitney and Josh. To back up a little, I met Whitney and Josh briefly one time before. Zack insisted that Whitney meet Sarah. He called her and convinced her to come into Zany's and eat lunch with him and I. It was either right before or right after I told Zack the truth and all that good stuff. At this point of course, I was silently in a state of shock – and attempting to come to terms, but I was going along with it all as though nothing had happened. Whitney and Josh strolled into the restaurant. Whitney, I hadn't seen since high school. She was quiet – humbly dressed, pretty but tired. Her clothes had paint smudges on them from her number one hobby which was painting. She didn't seem very direct. She was friendly for the most part. When her and Zack talked, it reminded me a little bit like when Allison and David talked. Siblings close in age form their own kind of communication that is hard for other people to be fully apart of.

Josh came in with Whitney. They weren't dating anymore – but they always stuck around one another until Whitney got a boyfriend. Then Josh would get upset – and then she would eventually get bored of whoever she was dating and come back to Josh. At best they would date two weeks before she tired of Josh and went looking again. They had decided I guess to stop that six months prior – so maybe the cycle had ended for good this time (they had been living this way, sort of obsessed with one another for seven years), but nobody believed they were done with each other. Though I was private in my personal evaluation, I had never met a more stuffy, conceited little man in my entire life, then Josh Boyer. He looked to be around his late twenties. He was not friendly – he was tense. He didn't look happy with his meal. He seemed overtaken with a weird kind of nervousness, and though he was quiet the entire meeting, I sensed a lot from him. He was pretentious. He thought he was smarter than everyone around him. He seemed personally invested in being unhappy about being in the presence of other people. I wondered why he even bothered to come in at all if this was so painful for him.

It felt really strange because I had MySpace stalked Josh and Whitney for a year or two in my late teens and now we were sitting here eating a meal together. It kind of freaked me out.

The second time I met Josh and Whitney was at Randy's house. I brought Allison with me this time. David didn't want to come. Everyone in the group was an introvert besides Allison – who was younger than us and didn't know what to say to anyone and was mostly happy to be included in this venture regardless of her age. Besides Allison there was Whitney, Josh, Zack, Sarah and myself. Sarah was probably the most ready of anyone to be outgoing – but only insofar as it meant she wasn't going to be too personal. We all sat outside Randy's house in the green perfectly manicured back yard that ran around the house to the front. Zack looked tired. Whitney looked down quite a bit. Josh seemed distracted. I eyeballed everyone curiously in silence. Allison smiled.

There seemed to be some kind of pressure that we all needed to befriend one another. I am not sure why we all felt that way. I guess there were motives. I told Allison six months previous that she should befriend Whitney. It had been part of Operation-get-Zack-to-be-our-friend-again, but she now had it in her mind to befriend Whitney in a real way. Josh, I later learned, was interested in Sarah. Zack wanted us all to become religious and be in some kind of cult – but now that we were all together he had no interest in that ever happening. I didn't actually want to be there at all – I was feeling very lonely and sick inside that day but I fought it off by smiling which felt insane but I couldn't bust out crying in front of people so it was my only recourse. I mean, we were probably the only alternative people in the same age bracket in a sixty mile radius who wasn't going to the University of Idaho.

It was an awkward and deceptively sunny early evening. We all had tickets to see Bright Eyes in three weeks and we made small talk. David had mysteriously opted out of seeing Bright Eyes' final tour, as the project was on hiatus after the last album. We invited Sarah. Sarah bought a ticket for Zack – who I guess was going to be our driver.

Whitney and Josh awkwardly pulled out Apples to Apples. I haven't played it so long I don't remember how it works now. I don't remember who won either. We all said very little as we played the game. Then we decided to go inside and sit around the big dining room table. Randy's kitchen-dining room area was painted red. The floors were classy hardwood. Everything was well put together. Zack was coming down from meth and he went to lay down on the couch and watch television.

Whitney an Josh ended up arguing with one another. It wasn't something I knew anything about, but it made me feel awkward and at first I sat on the couch with Sarah and Zack even though I felt like being away from them desperately. I tried to overhear what was being talked about. What it sounded like was this. Josh was obsessed with Whitney, but Whitney didn't want to date Josh, and Josh didn't want to date Whitney but he was mad that Whitney wanted to date some guy she just met in Moscow, and Whitney in turn was angry if Josh lost interest in her. Josh's mother Theresa had been drinking, and she was getting upset with Whitney and demanding that if she was going to put her poor son through this, if her son had spent the last seven years obsessing over her and groveling and living on her behalf rather than going to get a healthy normal girlfriend and getting a career, then Whitney needed to date Josh. Which Josh seemed to simultaneously approve and disapprove of. Theresa was raising her voice, and from what I could tell, she delighted in the nonsense of it all more than Whitney and Josh combined. She was clearly the most invested. I thought it was strange that Theresa would want Josh and Whitney to date, considering she was Josh's mom and she was married to Whitney's dad. How normal could that be? It seemed really intimate and weird for them to be talking about this in front of everyone. This would never have flown in my family. Someone would have screamed or thrown a chair or punched someone. I liked this managed chaos so much better. It seemed interesting to me that people naturally chose to put their problems with one another at the table and confront them and talk about their disturbed feelings instead of use the might makes right method, which I had generally always rejected and felt repressed by.

I chose to 'use the bathroom' at one point in this open exchange going on in the next room, so I could walk passed and get a better sense of who everyone was. I needed to see their faces. As I walked by, Theresa was looking emotional and frustrated at both Josh and Whitney. Whitney looked slightly vexed. Josh was proclaiming that he was dedicating his life to Whitney even if he meant nothing to her. His eyes were intense and sort of crazy. Eventually the arguments stopped, and everyone in the family went out for a smoke – like it was halftime. Allison and I came into the dining room and nervously sat next to each other. Sarah eventually came in too and Whitney did most of the small talking that kept the conversations going. Josh eventually came in as well. He was silent and was looking around nervously, but as we talked more and more and as Whitney and him sipped on beers, everyone started opening up more. Josh went outside for an hour, and when he came back he was an open book.

He started by introducing himself. He told us he was Josh Boyer. He said he was capable of doing anything in the whole world, if not for his two major flaws. He was a coward and he was lazy. I don't think I had ever met someone who just openly said such things about themselves so nonchalantly and I was entertained immediately by his self deprecating sense of honesty and humor. He came about life in this awkward offbeat kind of way that probably didn't work in most social atmospheres. He had seemed so uptight and stuffy when I first met him. Now he was being recklessly shameless. I was amused but half embarrassed for him, and he knew people felt that way and he didn't seem to care. He told us that he was a connoisseur of the fine arts, and his role in our lives was to make sure that all four of us women's art was out in the world. He claimed he had the power to make this all happen, but he never specified how. I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. He always seemed to be simultaneously telling some level 100 nihilist joke that only you and he could understand – often using himself as the main character of that joke, or if his ego really did tell him that he was some kind of upscale eccentric socialite gentleman, a long lost remnant of a bygone era.

What I liked about Josh was that he seemed able to slip into any conversation without any of the awkward judgment one would naturally expect. You could be talking about cannibalism or old people sex or anything that made people feel uncomfortable and he seemed to have a clever opinion on the matter. He didn't ignore anyone either. He looked at everyone in the room equally when he talked. It gave me this strange refreshing sense that I too was part of the conversation. For my entire life, I had always been the baby in my friendships. Often my friends talked about their dirty secrets away from me. There was this general assumption that I wasn't an equal. And I had internalized that in many respects. I learned to read between the lines in conversation and to be a good listener. But Josh gave each person at the table careful consideration when speaking. I was so used to people only looking at only Sarah. It might have been something of my own doing I will admit. I have never exactly been the queen of eye contact and I usually expected Sarah to be the main reason people were talking around me at all. Plus, Sarah generally seems the most classically interest in any given subject another person is talking about. I generally just listened.

Because Josh didn't treat me like Sarah's chambermaid, I eventually felt confident enough to comment on whatever it was he was talking about. I rarely felt comfortable doing any talking at all, but somehow Josh didn't make me feel weird about it. It wasn't that he was super accommodating or comforting. He wasn't that way at all. He just seemed to acknowledge the bleak emptiness and awkwardness of everything in life, his life, our lives and our fucked up imperfect world in general in a way that most people seemed afraid to acknowledge, especially on first meeting. Josh was talking about how anime was made in slave like conditions at some point, and I commented that most pieces of work were built on the backs of slaves and/or suffering in general and then we talked about the pros and cons of such a system. He also didn't flinch when I disagreed with him. He seemed intrigued and interested, and he wasn't afraid to dig into whatever I had decied to talk about. Secretly I have always been opinionated. I just stay quiet most of the time because when I talk it seems like I make people uncomfortable. I knew I could talk one on one with Sarah without her being weirded out, but mostly I just got this sense that I should keep my mouth shut for the most part. Be an observer of events and not be a part of the events themselves. Perhaps I don't have a clear understanding of where boundaries are laid down. I don't know what's socially acceptable to talk about.

Josh didn't seem to either though, so we ended up having a lengthy meandering conversation that didn't feel weird or forced. This was new to me. And he didn't get mad when I disagreed. That was something I was especially unused to. It goes without saying that disagreeing with any one of my family members in a serious way and they would get offended and would react angrily. Josh didn't get offended. He seemed to have different trains of thought that all seemed to be systematically comprehending the situation he was in at different ways, all working simultaneously. And he was hilarious and it was disarming. He still seemed pretty pretentious to me, but he seemed a lot different then when I had first met him. It almost felt like I had met two different Josh's.

Zack came in eventually from his nap. He sat besides Sarah, and Theresa looked at them both and started asking questions. Everyone was marveling at Zack's lucky break. Not being able to understand why a girl like Sarah would be with someone like Zack, they assumed Sarah must be some magical being here to rescue Zack. I think a part of Sarah's mind thought she might have been as well. They asked Sarah if she was dating Zack. At first she was reluctant, but then as she was quizzed further she just said she was. Zack was suddenly jovial, stating this was the first moment she had openly called their relationship what it was. He seemed really proud of himself.

Later that night, we were going home. I said goodnight to Josh and Whitney. I felt like I had a better sense of who they were as people. We got in the car with Zack and Sarah in the front. As we made our way back to where Zack and Sarah were staying, I couldn't help but notice there something felt really ugly in the car. It wasn't coming from me. I just felt this really ugly vibe in the back of the car that night. It was Zack. I didn't really get it at first. It almost felt like he was angry – or like he wanted to hurt someone. Where was this even coming from? Sarah had just openly confessed they were official to his family. Should be not be happy? Sarah had put in a Mark Lanegan album, and Methamphetamine Blues was playing very loudly. The speakers shook in the back seat of Zack's car. Zack was driving very poorly. It was dark and he was speeding down all these winding farm roads and there was mist everywhere. I felt carsick. At times I could tell that we were going dangerously around corners. Sarah looked back at me, and I could see the denial and confusion on her face. In some strange way, I pitied her. There was some underlying sense that she was trapped with Zack, that she was going to be the one that curbed the tides of Zack, or die trying. I was miserable, but at least I was free from whatever this dark ugly feeling I was getting that was coming from Zack. This was something Sarah was going to have to let into her soul if she wanted to be close with Zack.

We didn't crash that night. We made it to the bedroom. I briefly went in and talked to them in their room. Then Zack kind of grabbed Sarah and started tickling her. I felt weird about it. It felt like a power move. Sarah hated being tickled. Her cousins used to hold her down and tickle her as a child and it left her with this really negative association, plus it just kind of hurts some people, myself included. There was something really ugly that I didn't like the look of on Zack's face. Some kind of nonconsensual sense of power he now felt over Sarah was at play. Never had his face looked so hideous to me. Since she had admitted that they were now officially girlfriend and boyfriend, the gloves were off I guess. And Sarah didn't like the way it felt. She wouldn't admit it to me or to anyone. She wasn't admitting it to herself. But she hated this and it was too late for her to take it all back. I wanted to help her, and my first reaction was to tell Zack to knock if off. But the roles weren't clear, and it soon seemed strange that I had involved myself considering Sarah wasn't putting up for herself. I was forced to leave the room eventually.

I ended up getting my first job. Sarah and Zack had gone into Burger King to eat a crappy hamburger, and I had come with. Sarah insisted that I ask for a job. I didn't want to work at Burger King. This Burger King in particular had always seemed very unclassy. It was dirty and the workers didn't seem all there. But a job was a job at this point. I was close to perhaps getting a job at Zany's as the dishwasher still, but there were no guarantees, and I couldn't wait forever. So I humbled myself and agreed to go to the front and ask for an application. The manager walked out after my awkward inquiry, and he wanted to have an interview right then and there. I was very nervous, and in the end I know I did horribly. The manager looked rigid, angry, and like a man who was slowly dying of some horrible disease. He accepted me against his better judgment and he openly stated as much. He admitted he was just desperate, and I though he was not impressed with me in any way, he had no better options at the moment. I had to be there the next day for training. I had somehow been given a job.

So, I came in the next day, and they demanded I wear this hideous polo shirt and that I had to tuck it in my pants and a visor. I put them on in the bathroom, and marveled how fat it made me appear. I left the bathroom nervously. I was lead into the back kitchen area where the sandwiches were assembled. I had never been in the back of a restaurant before. It had all seemed like one big mystery. There seemed to be a lot going on, and I was dazed by it. Strangely, nobody came up to me and offered to give me a task. I nervously asked someone what I should do, and they shrugged and walked away. I was extremely nervous. I felt like I was doing something wrong. Was I supposed to train myself? How did this all work? I tried to ask a few people. The best answer I got was from a young girl who kind of told me in this vague way to ask someone who I later learned hadn't shown up that day what I should do. Most of them wouldn't even answer me. They would look at me, and then to one another and they would roll their eyes knowingly.

About a half hour later of standing there feeling criminally guilty for having done nothing and not understanding what to do upon my own initiative, I was lead to the back area where they wanted me to toast bread. They showed me this food machine that I put buns into. I was told to just do this. So I sat there for an hour grabbing bags of hamburger buns off of big industrial plastic shelf. Eventually I was told I had done it wrong. I had been toasting the wrong side. I had wasted probably ten bags of buns. They took the buns and they threw them away. I felt horrible. For one, how could anyone waste food like this?? They might not be properly toasted, but it was still perfectly good bread. Someone in the world I am sure would love to have those buns. For two, I felt like I had just destroyed property. I had just wasted company assets. I was surprised when the girl came up to me, shrugged and simply told me to stop. I felt like I deserved to be arrested for the mistake I had continued on making for so long that rendered the buns unusable.

After four hours of either standing there, or toasting bread till they told me to stop, I just had this internal knowing that this wasn't going to work out. I was not made for this kind of existence. It all seemed so mind numbing. I actively detested the philosophy of this place. A person didn't show up for their shift while I was there – and nobody even seemed surprised. The turn out was constant. The manager walked around looking sick and angry and eventually told me to leave. I was offered a free hamburger, but I refused. The smell of the meat made me feel sick. There was something hollow about this place, and places like it. The monotonous tasks almost felt designed to burn the individuality right out of you. The workers seemed dead inside – and seemed obsessed with the ten minutes every four hours allotted to them so they could smoke and look bleakly out at the Lewiston hills till they came back in and did it again. And day after day they would do this until they walked out. And once they walked out they would go find another job that was like this. There seemed to be something horrible and draining about it. As a child I had harbored some fantasies about Burger King. I had always loved wearing the paper crowns. Now I just felt grossed out. I had seen the other end of a place like this. I felt like I had confronted death. I was told to come in the next day. I knew I would never be walking back into that building again – for food or otherwise. I didn't even feel badly about this decision for Sarah's sake or my own even. I knew I would have to surrender to the monotony of the lower working class, but not like this. Not Burger King. There had to be a trace of human dignity to me. I didn't go back and collect my paycheck. I put my uniform in a bag and left it on the front door late one night hoping the employees would find it.

PART 93 - https://tinyurl.com/yc8mae7e

PART 92 - https://tinyurl.com/yb7bwsuw

PART 91 - https://tinyurl.com/yar8e8rp

My Life Story in Chapters, PARTS 1-90 (this link below will lead you to a list of all the chapters i have written thus far).

http://aleatoryalarmalligator.tumblr.com/post/168782771574/life-story-sections-1-90

#text #life story #writing #long text

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