#the things he wants to do to that mouth
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guttr-bot · 3 months ago
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'I-I'm not... frag you.'
Yes... that was precisely the issue. And the Wrecker intended to remedy that.
"Not yet, yer' not. We can fix that, though."
There was no masking it anymore, all notions of keeping their back-and-forth in the realm of harmless flirting having dissipated entirely. His 'good intentions', such as they were, had climbed to the tippy-top of 'point of no return' mountain and had taken a flying leap right off.
And Wheeljack couldn't have cared less. He had half a mind to push the good doctor over that console and...
He was getting ahead of himself. The setting was less than ideal. While voyeurism wasn't something he was opposed to, he didn't imagine Ratchet would appreciate the risk. Especially with humans around. He could practically hear his chiding 'Ep ep ep.'
Though he supposed he could quiet any protests in a number of ways. Ratchet's mouth was lookin' especially tempting right about now.
"Listen, Sunshine, you know where to find me. Once yer done with that real important work you seem so engrossed in, why don't you do us both a favor and pay me a visit? The Jackhammer's not as roomy as yer setup here... but it's got privacy."
Ratchet’s spark leapt into his intake as Wheeljack found it necessary to lean onto his workspace and make eye contact. To which the medic swiftly turned his helm away, covering his intake with a servo. He was undoubtedly flustered and the feeling was only increasing the longer Wheeljack felt the need to flirt.
Despite looking away, he was acutely aware of how close the other’s frame was to his and it sent heat rolling over his plating in a wave. The full body embarrassment was no longer easy to hide, his flushed face plate only getting more blue.
Ratchet had half a processor to chase Wheeljack off, snap at him and threaten to beat him with the wrench on his station. But… he didn’t. He was tired and stressed out with work, and he simply didn’t have the energy to fight him off. He felt guilty to indulge in such frivolous behavior regardless, to be standing there blushing like a young academy student while Wheeljack flirted at him, but he liked it, no matter how much he wanted to deny it.
He chanced to look back at Wheeljack, his optics wandering back over to the other’s faceplate before locking into his gaze. There was an incredibly uncommon expression on the doc’s face. Something bordering on desperate and yearning. His servo fell from his own intake, his derma pressed together as his nerves began to overwhelm him.
“I-I’m not… Frag you.” He said half-heartedly, the statement holding little power in its delivery. Ratchet’s frame was heating further and further the longer they stood there, and eventually he was getting warnings on his hud behind his optics and he had to continuously dismiss them. Steam had begun to wisp between his plating seams, which finally caused his fans to kick on high, attempting to cool him down.
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egophiliac · 1 year ago
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queen of diamonds, upright + reversed 💎
I've redone this like eighty times, I have to just be done with it now and stop staring at all my mistakes oh no 🫠
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 8 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 8 spoilers#coming in well after the fact but that's what happens when the art doesn't cooperate#and i just HAD to draw something for vil's ob (re-ob?) because i loved it so much#legit put my hand over my mouth and went “oh!” when i realized what was happening#i thought it was just going to be an idia thing because. y'know. closing out his character arc from episode 6 and all#so this was like. oh! oh we're going to get ALL the inky boys!!!!!#i wonder if this is why we got a malleus flashback so early...#not to mention everyone's dreams?!#i am braced for 90% of the dreams to be kind of jokey/inconsequential because we have SO many characters to get through#and most of the time will probably be spent on our lads (literally) dropkicking their emotional problems#but i am excited to see everyone regardless!#and also kind of terrified! what on EARTH will floyd be dreaming about. do i want to know.#i do but do i want to.#man. they're probably not going to get back to it but i do wonder what silver's dream was#what was he doing when he was like 'wait a minute' and noped right out of there#lilia: here silver i made dinner :)#silver: oh boy this looks great! ...YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD#ouuuagh i'm still deep in the blotsauce guys and i'm loving it#come make snowangels in the ink with me it's great
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stevesgother · 27 days ago
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tw: trichotillomania
Steve develops really bad trichotillomania as a way to cope with the literal constant stress of fighting interdimensional demons once every calendar year and always being responsible for the lives and safety of six children that aren't even biologically his.
And it's fine at first, like no one really notices? He just wears hats a little more often because it gets to the point where he starts forming small bald spots.
Then Eddie comes along and obviously he notices because he notices everything about Steve once he's spent enough time around him.
They're sitting with their thighs and shoulders touching on the couch in the trailer, watching a movie, when Eddie can no longer ignore the incessant fidgeting of Steve's left arm.
"Dude, what are you doing?"
"Oh, sorry," Steve replies, sheepishly clutching the hand that had been pulling with his other hand in a meager attempt to quit it.
"No, it's fine, just-- why are you pulling your hair out?"
"Oh. I dunno. I just do that." Steve shrugs because it's 1986 and no one talks about mental health so how was he meant to know there's a name for this weird habit he's picked up?
"You 'just do that'?" Eddie asks skeptically.
And Steve just nods because like, literally no one has ever made a big deal out of it before. What's this guy's issue??
And listen-- Eddie doesn't know there's a name for it either. He only knows that it clearly bothers Steve The Hair Harrington to have bald spots. So, he takes matters into his own hands.
He comes up with any trick he can think of to get Steve to stop pulling when he notices it. His ego be damned.
"Put these mittens on." Eddie tells him one day, firm.
"What?"
"Put them on!"
Or: "Harrington. Sit on your hands."
"I don't wanna do that--"
"Just. Do it."
And desperate time calls for desperate measures. It gets to the point where Eddie starts pelting random objects at him-- whatever's in arms reach-- whenever he catches Steve pulling.
"Ow, dude, what the hell?" Steve admonishes, rubbing the spot that a rubber dog toy just hit the side of his skull.
But one night, it's bad. Steve is particularly wound up tonight, for whatever reason, and his hands (both of them) haven't left his scalp all evening.
Eddie lunges forward where they're sitting on his bed, pinning Steve's hands under his own. He realizes too late what a compromising position he's just entrapped them in.
"Uh, sorry--" Eddie moves to get up, but before he can, Steve's extended forward and kissed him. On the mouth. Steve's kissing him on the mouth.
Steve pulls back, slightly mortified. And all that Eddie can manage is: "What."
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lucy-moderatz · 4 months ago
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I do feel closer to Hannibal here. God only knows where I'd be without him.
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fisheito · 3 months ago
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untold treasures under that skirt
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colresskisser · 6 months ago
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stupid little headcanon for the funny: i think remus might get dead small animals and affectionately bring them to people he likes. like cats do
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it's how he shows his love
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xxplastic-cubexx · 7 months ago
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charles doddles
below the cut is notes for myself on how i draw him cause im SICK of being inconsistent !!!!!!!
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casualavocados · 9 months ago
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#Chen Yi versus Ai Di's neck (AI DI version)
Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
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fumifooms · 1 year ago
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Dad always said I was like him
Meijack and Chilchuck Tims Dungeon Meshi, Ryoko Kui
^ 1: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 2: Bug like an angel, Mitski / 3: Woodtangle, Mary Ruefle / 4: The Third Hour of the Night, Frank Bidart / 5 & 6: FROM THE MAKERS OF "TWO-MOM ENERGY DRINK," IT'S "LET YOUR FATHER DIE ENERGY DRINK,", Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 7: Batman: Year Three (1989) / 8 & 9 : FROM THE MAKERS OF […], Daniel Lavery & Cecilia Corrigan / 10: Wilt, CJ the X / 11: How Do We Forgive Our Fathers, Dick Lourie / 12: Milk and honey, Rupi Kaur / 13: And My Father's Love Was Nothing Next To God's Will, Amatullah Bourdon / 14: Moony moonless sky, Fatima Aamer Bilal / 15: Someday I’ll Love Ocean Vuong, Ocean Vuong / 16: untitled, Joan Tierney v 17: Drunk, The Living Tombstone / 18: unknown
When your father tried his best to provide for you but he worked all the time and even when he was home he was either tired or stressed and he’s always liked to get drunk to relax and cheer up. When you know he values work ethics and respectability so you grew up to be capable and quiet. And when he says you’re like him you’re sort of puzzled, does he really know you so little, or does he know himself so little? But you like the feeling of your father ruffling your hair so you accept it, and still you stand next to your mother just as silent and just as stoic as her during family gatherings. He leaves again and again and when your mother leaves him nothing changes, really. You wonder if it’s more telling that you know him better than he seems to himself or that you don’t know him as much as you wish you did, or that you don’t think about him all that much these days. Out of sight, out of mind. And he’s never really been there, even when he was there, after all.
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belaenvie · 3 months ago
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ray 😼😼
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erm i was gonna work on more interesting things now that im on break but i just wanted to draw ray to get back into it honestly
my bbg forever 😍😍
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theloveinc · 1 year ago
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OlderDad!Bakugou who gets a haircut and his baby doesn't recognize him and he doesn't want his dad to pick him up 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Bakugou has a cry in the bathroom and you have to spend the rest of the night consoling him.
Also Hiiiiiii, miss u, hope youre gooooood
head in my hands bc of this, just thought abt bakugo growing out his hair a little bit right after baby's birth...takes him months to go and get a real haircut cuz he doesn't wanna burden you more than he already has and by the time he's okay with the thought (but only for "AN HOUR MAX," is what he says), he has a mullet thing going on and all this scruff on his chin🥺🥺🥺
so he gets home with his regular ol' haircut, maybe a little shorter just to account for ... not wanting to go again so soon, and baby's HOLLERING bloody murder as soon as they see him and refusing to be taken out of your arms, doing that thing where they're flipping their face back and forth to dodge a kiss...
it's so tragic bc not even a little cheek nuzzling helps to calm them bc bakugo's CLEAN SHAVEN and smells like aftershave instead of like dad when he tries!!!!!!
and after, you watch him kinda sulk into the bathroom, thinking like aw yeah thats a bummer but also pretty funny, too (esp bc the haircut does look good🫣🤓), AND HE DOESN'T COME OUT FOR LIKE an hour???
....until you finally have to ask him if he's okay in there and you're opening the door to him sitting on the toilet seat, arms crossed and red cheeks a little streaky with tears...
LJFKASDJFADSJK it's the cutest, most sad sight you ever did see!! ofc Bakugo tries to deny it, but the way he tears up again (after you're done assuring him he did nothing wrong) when his baby finally realizes it's him and smiles (and then how he refuses to give them up again until bedtime) has his ass. EXPOSED.
(i love and miss u more than air, earth, water, dirt + HOPE YOU'RE GOOD TOO BESTIE ILY)
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yuwuta · 1 year ago
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mutual masturabtion with satoru that turns into your fingers in his mouth and his fingers in your mouth and you using each other’s spit to get the other off. satoru is always a little gentler with you, swirling his fingers around in your open mouth, applying pressure with the pads to your tongue; wide, attentive eyes trying to commit the image of your open mouth to memory—it’d be easier if he weren’t audibly moaning himself, eyes threatening to roll shut when the feeling of your fingers in his mouth sinks in. longer nails carefully scratching at his tongue, lewdly wrapping his lips around your digits to suck and he always gets carried away and ends up choking just a bit. you’re both high on each other already, and it doesn’t help when you simultaneously remove your fingers from each other’s mouth; your path is straight, using wet fingers to wrap around satoru’s cock, just below the head with a squeeze that makes him whimper. satory always strays, stopping to tease around your nipples, down your chest, dragging the tip of his index finger over your navel before finally, finally, angling his hand to cup your pussy, still finding room to tease your clit with his palm before sinking his fingers inside  
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jadewritesficshere · 8 months ago
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Grey
Steve Harrington x fem!reader
Synopsis: Steve gets a wake up call from yall's daughter
Contents: talks of aging, kids being kids, references to smut but nothing explicit
Steve groans as his consciousness comes to. Something is hitting his face. Someone. Repeatedly.
Steve squints his bleary eyes open as a hand smacks him in the jaw again. A small smile appears on his face even though his jaw stings from the impact. "Morning," Steve's voice is still thick with sleep as he turns to look into brown eyes barely peeking over the edge of the bed.
A quiet voice repeats back ,"Morning," to Steve before arms reach up over the edge of the bed to try and grasp something. Small hands grab the blanket and tug it off of him slightly as the child attempts to climb up. At two and half, Amelia Joy Harrington can barely see above the edge of her parents' bed, let alone get on it.
Steve hoists Amelia up and sits her on his stomach. Steve winces as Amelia scrambles, a stray foot hitting his thigh precariously close to his crotch. Arms are thrown around his neck in a hug as Amelia lays her head against her dad's chest.
Steve feels like his heart could burst out of his chest from the joy he is feeling. A hug from his baby? The best way to wake up in the morning. Who cares if his jaw is still stinging and probably red, his little girl loves him.
Steve sighs in contentment. Steve holds his daughter close until she starts to fidget and wiggle. Amelia sits up and throws her hands in the air. "Happy Birthday!" She whispers excitedly, except she has no concept of how quiet a whisper should actually be and says it in a much too loud voice.
"What?" Steve asks, hand hovering near Amelia's side in case she slips. Amelia's eyebrows furrow as she pouts at him, a look that is an exact copy of you. Her arms slowly lower as she stares at Steve. "Happy Birthday. You old." Amelia pouts at him.
Steve blinks at Amelia in confusion but nods his head. First off, rude, he isn't that old. Steve isn't sure where she gets her unfiltered, blunt commentary (it absolutely isn't him). Second, it absolutely isn't his birthday. Not even close.
"Why uh...why is it my birthday?" Steve asks, unsure if Amelia fully understands the concept. Not sure if he can explain the idea of a birthday to a two (and a half) year old. "Grey." Amelia declares giving Steve whiplash. Before Steve can speak, Amelia points at the comforter," Blue." Steve smiles," Yes, blue."
Amelia points to her shirt," Green." Steve nods. Amelia taps under Steve's eye, lashes brushing against her finger causing him to close it. Steve hopes she doesn't attempt to actually poke his eye.
"Brown." Amelia declares. "Thats right." Steve grins, his girl is so smart. Amelia points to his temple," Grey." "That's ri- what?! No!" Steve's mouth drops open as Amelia giggles. "Uncle Dustbin says grey is old. Birthday makes old. Happy Birthday!"
The creak of the loose floorboard in the hall notifies Steve of your approach. You peek into the doorway of the room, seeing your two favorite people. One looking aghast and the other giggling at her father's reaction.
"What's going on in here?" You ask, leaning against the doorway. "Grey. Birthday." Amelia announces, like it explains everything. And it does in her little mind.
You hum in response, looking at your husband who seems lost for words. Amelia slides off of Steve and off the bed, Steve guiding her so her feet land on the ground absent-mindedly. He would never let her fall or get hurt. Or you.
Amelia half walks half dances in your direction. A prance in her step, she stops in front of you and grabs your hands. "It's daddy's birthday," She says before headbutting your leg. You chuckle and pat her head as she dances out of the room, in her own little world.
"You lying to my kid again?" You ask once Amelia is gone. Steve sputters as he sits up," I did not- our kid- did not lie." "Uh-huh, sure," you say sarcastically. Steve rolls his eyes at you as he gets up out of bed.
Steve stretches as he rocks on his feet, back cracking, before strolling over to you. "Good morning," Steve mumbles, hand landing on your hip. You hum back as he leans in and kisses you. Soft. Slow. Sweet. Leaving you longing for more as he pulls back.
"Love you," Steve says, fingers running along the waistband of your pants. "I love you too," you want to melt into him. Curl up in his arms and stay in this moment. Let the love and adoration fill the air around you.
"Do I look old?" Steve is the first to break the silence. Your brow furrows in confusion," huh?" "Amelia she," Steve huffs out a laugh," said I have grey hair." You chuckle as you bring a hand up, fingers threading through his hair," You have some but its nice." "Its nice huh?" "Makes you look distinguished. Handsome." You bite your lip and look up at him.
Steve knows that look. Knows it well. It's the look you gave him the first time you moved past just making out. The same look you gave him on your first anniversary. The same look you wore on your wedding night. The same look you gave before Amelia was conceived.
Steve can't help the smirk that spreads across his face. If getting old gives him that look, well, he won't complain.
"What about me?" You ask, batting your lashes. "Beautiful," Steve kisses your cheek," Gorgeous," he kisses the corner of your lips. He continues to alternate between kissing all over your face and praising you.
"My love," Steve whispers before kissing you softly on the lips. You sigh into the kiss, one hand tangling in his hair, the other trying to pull him closer.
A loud crash from the living room has you two pulling back from the sweet moment you stole. "What was that?" You call down the hall. "Nothing!" Amelia yells back, making you sigh but smile. Steve can't help but grin too. His life was a little hectic dealing with a rambunctious child, but he wouldn't trade it for the world. And he thinks, if life is like this, he can manage getting old with you. He wouldn't want it any other way.
#Steve whines to Robin later who just sits there laughing until she cries#Until he points out she's aged too because she has laugh lines from smiling and then she spirals just a bit#He has to hold her hand and tell her its a good thing and she goes on a rant about anti-aging and its harder for women then men#How there's all this extra pressure and Steve is aghast like he isnt dumb he knew there was but he never heard it all verbalized#He comes home and kisses you and gets on his knees and tells you he loves you#He then begs you to let him show you how much he loves you wanting nothing more then to use his tongue on you#I mean why would you not let him#And when you lay in bed cuddling after he thinks again he doesn't mind aging if he's doing it with you#You wake up abruptly in the middle of the night and startle him awake#“Oh my God Amelia is going to go to high school and get a boyfriend” you whine#Steve just mutters an oh God and immediately starts thinking if it would be TOO much to have the nail bat when he speaks to said boyfriend#You both think about it for a long time meanwhile Amelia is asleep in her room with drool running out of her mouth hugging a stuffed animal#Anyways Steve nation we up??? This has been drafted for awhile but not posted but I am inspired#And I saw this and went oh yeah post that#So here it is...for u...on this fine Friday early morning#Jade is talking#steve harrington x reader#Steve harrington x you#Steve Harrington x y/n#Steve Harrington/you#Steve Harrington/reader#steve harrington x female!reader
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itadooori · 1 month ago
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those of yall who read my tags you might remember when i mentioned the concept of touch starved gi-hun crying at acts of intimacy. anyway my junhun demons were whispering things to me again
[close-ups under the cut]
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syluses · 2 months ago
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there was another wave of caleb drama on the bird app the other day about him not wanting to be ur gege at all which was lowkey super dumb bc its not true but now its making me think of an au where mc and caleb don't grow up together and meet as adults but caleb's still delusional and crazy enough to want to have that type of dynamic... like just irrationally mad that he isn't the one who raised u LMAO i always saw him as the type to just want to be your everything not Just a brother not Just a lover... it tickles my brain.. love and obsession so all-encompassing that he has to be everything in ur life
..Oh brother 😒 no pun intended. I agree with u tho nonnie 💯 Bro needs to be her everything, & if he isnt he feels worthless.
Prepare thyselfs
Alright, yall already know by know that im a big gege truther- however im perfectly fine with the people who wanna see caleb as the ‘childhood friend’- which the anglicized version essentially goes off on. Now i do believe those individuals dont see all of caleb’s unique little nuances- just because so much of them stem from the brotherly role he was ‘forced’ to fill for mc all throughout childhood- and i think they fail to recognize the paramount correlation it has to their ‘forbidden’ romance (which both he & mc ACKNOWLEDGE in the story; but ig they’re just whiting out the bits they dont wanna hear) but im not gonna flame ppl if they wanna see bro as the friends to lovers trope.
i dont agree with it, but its more or less okay with me bc i understand lots of ppl are icked out by the pseudo trope (reasonable) yet still want to appreciate xia yizhou in their own way— even if ignoring the original intention inevitably brings a certain distance to that for the lack of comprehension over his, well, ahem GEGEISM™️
The way some of them wanna DENY the asian/original canon tho is pretty insane ngl. Like homie u can still enjoy ur own (english localized) idea of caleb- but to try to erase the obvious gege/meimei implications of the chinese version is funny only because its just that stupid. Again im definitely not one of the ppl who’ll yell and shame others for not fucking with the gege vibes, but cmon… its pretty obvious that is in the canon.
And now im yapping at this point but as to whether or not caleb WANTS to be mc’s brother figure? ..Honestly i feel like that is complicated in itself, and i think the answer will vary from person to person. But for me i think its both a yes and a no. He definitely acts as her brother, thinks as her brother, regards himself as her brother. And the self awareness is absolutely there for him- as in he knows its wrong to romantically pine for mc because he truly does- in his own way- naturally see mc as his meimei as well, even if he tries to separate himself from it the more his yearning grows. I think calebs emotions revolving this are super complex. I can barely even put it into words.
He wants the full right, if u will, that the gege title grants him over her— the closeness, the responsibility, the bond— but it ultimately gets in the way when he stares at her in admiration for a little too long or leans a little too much into the fantasy of pretend girlfriend and boyfriend. Growing up, whenever he humored her and they played house, he never had to feign the part of ‘husband’ bc he already carried all that love with him. In a way, a lil piece of him kind of blames mc for ‘asserting’ the gege role on him, but he’s still just as guilty bc he happily gave in to it all throughout their growing up. He liked it, even, in those moments he could almost forget his own pathetic desires.
I truly do believe that caleb feels regretful over the brotherly role he operated under for just about all his life… But i also truly believe that he would have it no other way— the smallest idea of anybody else assuming that spot in her life makes him furious. Because again, he wants to take care of her, he wants to protect her, to bandage her scraped knees and hush away her tears, to cook breakfast lunch and dinner for her and have almost as much of a say in her life as gran does. (…past tense.) He wants the proximity, the domestic life with her, the casual closeness and again, the slight dominion the ‘brother’ role gives him over her.
Lets not forget that in all of this, for all his cheerful, reassuring smiles and easy quipping comments, that there’s a little worm in the back of caleb’s head that wants ultimate control over his meimei. and yes, even just in calling her his ‘meimei’— or her running face first into his strong arms bc she knows, as family, he’ll always have her back— some of that control is given. Its so hard to articulate this pls kill me. But i hope u know what i mean.
At the end of the day, for all his reservations about it- and the actual blame he lowkey tries to put on mc for it- Caleb does and always wanted to be her gege.
Because if he was never her gege, he’d be nothing. His responsibility over his meimei— his sister, his friend, his closest confidant and hopefully, one day, his wife— is frankly all that gives him purpose.
And yeah maybe he is a little crazy because of it... But he knows she loves him too, deep down. He knows her better than anybody else, after all. The same can be said about his love for her: nobody in this world could ever hold even a fraction of all that Caleb both internally & physically shoulders for her.
It’s as much of an ugly curse as it is a beautiful gift.
Duality my friends, duality
#mailbox#caleb love and deepspace#just tagging this as caleb so i can easily go back to this later if i want#ive always wanted to talk about this with yall but never had an excuse to open my mouth#so im soooo happy u sent this ask lil nonnie but at the same time i apologize for rambling ur ear off LOL 😖❤️‍🩹#this man makes me feel such insane things#analyzing his character feels like a nosedive down a rabbit hole#my shoes is sticking out the top like the cavediver memes lol#anyways i could talk about this for DAYS but i will spare yall the agony of listening to me 💀#also the day twitter burns to the ground will be a good one imo#i deadass thought after elon took it over that ppl said they were gonna leave??#so why are they still there causing needless beef & drama 💀#i only really only use youtube and tumblr in terms of social media so 🤷🏻‍♀️#im kinda under a rock to some stuff i guess but#more peace to me lol#nonnie i hope u know this ask actually made me gear up tho like i was rubbing my hands to answer this one#but idk lemme know yalls opinions on this#again i know interpretations on his chara can vary bc hes so fricking complex#but do yall think he WANTS to be her brother? hates it? both?#i think he’d be 100% fine with it if it didnt score him all those dirty incredulous looks from onlookers (and mc) :]#what do u mean i cant be in love with my meimei?? Fine. then she’s not my meimei (continues to treat her exactly like his meimei)#(minus the acknowledgment)#Aight ima shut up
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s0fter-sin · 9 months ago
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(cw non-sexual kink, cis male tiddy sucking)
nikolai takes one look at ghost - at the stiffness he holds himself with, arms held rigidly at his sides as he glares ahead, each breath carefully measured to make himself unnoticed - and knows it’s been too long since he’s checked on his boy
all it takes is a single look, catching his bruised and tired eyes, and ghost all but slumps. nikolai turns, heading towards the 141’s private rec room and he doesn’t need to hear the near-silent footsteps to know ghost’s following. he pulls him down onto the couch, bringing him into the circle of his arms even as he weakly tries to pull away
“don’t need it, nik; don’t have time…” ghost argues but it’s hollow at best
“hush, sweet one,” he soothes his halfhearted protests and thumbs his mask up above his lips. “always so nervous; so lost...”
he tugs his shirt up, showing off his belly and the heavy swell of his hairy pecs; nipples already pebbled. he cups the back of ghost’s head, his thumb brushing over his exposed jaw and ghost is helpless to follow as he gently leads him to latch onto his breast
“i have you,” he promises
no matter how big he is, in presence or in stature, nikolai is bigger; encompassing his whole body in warmth and safety, the familiar scent of cologne and motor oil filling his senses just as the heat of his tit fills his mouth
ghost’s eyes roll back and he nuzzles deeper into his chest, sinking into him and lets his mind empty as he suckles
-
soap didn’t mean to. he didn’t mean to walk in on something not meant for his eyes. he just wanted to check on ghost; he’s been so distant lately, different from his usual bad days and he doesn’t know how to help him but that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to try
but he didn’t mean for this; for guilt and a heated, confused want to chase through him as he enters the rec room and realises nikolai got to ghost first
realises they’re not just necking on the couch; that ghost’s lips are pressed tight to nikolai’s furred breast and not moving away, a gentle hollow thinning his exposed cheeks as he sucks, his throat softly bobbing as he swallows
nikolai’s cupping the back of his head, fingers drifting through the blonde hair at the nape of his neck and he looks so fond; like there’s nowhere he’d rather be than on their broken in couch with ghost curled around his body, sucking what must be a deep ache into his tit.
then nikolai looks up at him, frozen in the doorway and soap-
soap runs
-
nikolai gives soap a few days before he tries to talk about it; gives him a chance to come to terms with what he's seen. it's almost adorable; how deep soap’s flush grows when he sees him, how he stumbles over his words and can’t quite make eye contact
but it also tugs at him that he feels the need to shrink, to brace himself from whatever punishment he thinks is headed his way; shoulders hunching in, arms wrapped almost defensively around his body before finding whatever excuse he can to run from him
run from himself
he wishes he could wait for soap to come to him but he knows lost boys and their fear of coming in from the cold
nikolai keeps himself gentle as he uses his bulk to corner soap; stopping him from running but also using it to show how easily he could hide in him if he just let himself give in. if he let him take care of him the same way he takes care of ghost
"but... but it's wrong," soap whispers, fingers tangling with a gold cross at the hollow of his throat (a cross so similar to one he’d melted down all those years ago), but he speaks with such clear longing; eyes wide where he stares up at him, all but begging to be told otherwise and it almost breaks nikolai's heart
"no, lovely boy," he denies softly and soap shudders as he cups his face and backs him up against the corner; hugged by both walls and nikolai himself. "there is nothing more natural."
he caresses soap's cheek. he feels him shake under his touch, his eyes already growing dewy, and chances drifting his fingers over his bottom lip. soap's breath hitches and he looks up at him with so much fear - so much trust - and hesitantly opens his mouth to let them sink inside
nikolai doesn't press them too deep, doesn't threaten his throat, but they are thick and wide; filling his mouth and comfortably weighing down his tongue
with a small, involuntary moan, soap closes his lips around his fingers and nikolai catches him with his body as he goes limp. he coos as he starts sucking; wrapping his other arm around his head and brings him into his body, hidden and safe and small
"my good, lovely boy," he whispers and soap lets out a cracked whimper. "you are not wrong."
he isn't ready yet, much the same way ghost wasn't ready at first. but feeling soap tremble and suckle at his fingers, nikolai knows he'll soon have another boy tucked safe to his breast
#soap thinking it’s wrong not bc nikolai and ghost are men (though that’s part of it)#but bc he knows the church would see it as a bastardisation of the virgin mary#the mother feeding christ; the ultimate act of care and love#and it must be a perversion; it must be a twisted imitation of something pure#right?#it cant be something genuine; pure; bc if ghost can have it… does thst mean he can too?#soap desperate for such comfort and acceptance; things he thinks he’ll never receive#bc he knows he’ll never be worthy of such things#never devout enough; never loyal enough; never well behaved enough#shaming his family and his church along with it every time he opened his mouth#he constantly chases this elusive ‘good enough’; always forced himself to be better; stronger; /perfect/#bc then it will mean he’ll have earned it right? he’ll be given the love he’s always yearned for but always fell short of#and nikolai who was raised russian orthodox? all he can see is a burnt out reflection of himself#he recognises the same longing he used to feel before he realised he will never be enough for them#that they want him to be a man he will despise and even then he’ll still be denied the comfort he wanted#and he doesnt want that; for ghost or soap#he’ll give them everything they want and more until they understand everything they deserve#we’re a team. ghost team#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#nikolaighost#nikghost#nikolai x ghost#niksoap#nikolaisoap#nikolai x soap#cod nikolai#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod
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