#the vibes in this conversation were. not fun! (VERY positive)

[artilite]

"Do you know something?"

[hellspawnmotel]

Question: I notice on your Deltarune posts you focus on a lot about relationships and gender roles and such. May I ask why exactly? Just curious as to why find this aspect of this game so particularly interesting? Is there anything else you find interesting about DR?

well. first of all yes I find many other aspects of DR to be interesting lmao. the discarded vessel, the conversations ralsei and kris have when the player isnt looking, the dreemurr-holiday family split, anything surrounding dess, the connections to undertale, what gaster's goals are, susie's potential, kris's whole everything.... but as I've said before, I don't really like making predictions outside of themes and character dynamics. and I feel that for most of these things, I don't have enough information yet to really dig my teeth in analysis-wise, or else I don't have anything interesting to say that hasn't been said already.

as for why I fixate on the theme of gender so much.......

it just happens to be a theme I'm extremely drawn to and interested in

idk if I've ever vibed with a single character as much as I do noelle. it's like she and all her aesthetics were made for me specifically to love. and noelle is..... at least given the context of the weird route, she's kind of a girl of all time? not just in terms of being a great character, but her position represents femininity in fiction to me in the same way as like, rei ayanami or anthy himemiya. she's very much herself but in the eyes of the narrative and the viewer she becomes every girl to ever live. she's turned into a symbol. all girls are like the rose bride. there's just already so many layers and so much to analyze about it- not just from the game itself but how the audience receives and reacts to the game.

I'm a woman

my absolute favorite genre of video games is JRPGs from the 90s and 00s and let me tell you something about that. I could name more games that I have stopped playing after getting hours in specifically because the way they handled their female characters pissed me off so much, than games that I've come out of feeling like the girls were written at all fairly. how women are written in this genre, and in fantasy at large, is something I already thought about all the time. and deltarune is very much based on games like that! it's not the only thing deltarune is based on but it's the thing I personally have the most experience with. and given what we've been presented with so far, I actually feel pretty confident, for the first time in my life, that deltarune is going to continue to do right by its female characters and have interesting things to say about women in JRPGs, video games, fantasy, and fiction in general, if only in the abstract. it's something I've been dying to see done well specifically in this setting, this genre, and this medium for years. and I'm gonna revel in that as much as I can.

......writing this I forgot that you also said "relationships" and not just gender roles lol but that answer's a lot simpler. I just love watching and writing character interaction. and again, it's something I can iterate on a lot despite not having the full picture yet. it's fun and cool.

[neos127]

enha boys + variety shows

synopsis. headcanons in which your group along with enhypen are on a variety show together and fans seem to notice the connection between you and one specific member… genre. fluff pairing. enhypen boys x idol!fem!reader notes. if there are typos…they’re not there then!!

lee heeseung

being the oldest of the group along with heeseung, you were both paired together when playing the whisper challenge. heeseung tried to contain the smile on his face when he sat across from you, knowing that all the cameras on you both could pick up his reaction. it was cute to see you so flustered while trying to guess what word heeseung was trying to tell her. you would never let the boy know, but constantly looking at his lips made your stomach twist and you wished you could kiss him at the moment. sometimes you would zone out, missing what heeseung was trying to say because you were too distracted by his face. your members would laugh while you put your face in your hands in embarrassment.

your clips with him went viral on twitter later for how intimate your eye contact with him was and how you seemed to be doing the ‘triangle method’ with your eyes. heeseung texted that night you after seeing the posts— the notification made you shriek and drop your phone.

park jay

your group was featured on enhypen’s en-o’ clock episode for a game of mafia. it got intense quickly with everyone yelling and accusing each other. the chaos was amusing but in the midst of it, you were the calmest one. jay became suspicious of you, believing that you were the mafia since you had barley contributed to the conversation. when you locked eyes with jay, you smirked, causing the boy to blush a bit. he was sure that you were the mafia and got all of the boys to vote for you when the time came. turns out— you were simply a villager and the mafia actually ended up being sunghoon. you wanted to throw people off, it was funny that way. especially jay who seemed to react the way you wanted him too. it was fun to tease him and watch him become all flustered.

engenes and [your group fandom name] freak out over the interactions between you two. you’re described as being very flirty towards jay while he looks at you as if you hung all the stars in the sky. so much for being subtle…oops…

sim jake

since your group only debuted a year ago, you had not yet been subjected to the classic haunted house game. when the company finally set one up, your group was paired with you brother group, enhypen. you and jake were paired together for the challenge which made the boy excited yet nervous. he had a huge crush on you ever since he first saw you in the company building, preparing for your debut. when the two of you started the challenge to go through the abandoned building and look for clues, you were immediately jump-scared. you swore jake screamed louder than you did. he grabbed you hand and immediately pulled you away, running in the opposite direction. jake wanted to seem more tough and have a vibe of ‘i’ll protect you’ but he was sure he already ruined that. the whole challenge basically consisted of the two of you screaming, grabbing onto each other and falling all over the place. but you wouldn’t have done it with anyone else.

fans on twitter were obsessed with the chemistry between you two. the way you conversed and bickered as if you were life long friends was something they adored. and the light touches and lingering gazes that suggested more than friends was immediately pointed out and analyzed like crazy.

park sunghoon

being paired with sunghoon for the heart flutter challenge was nerve wracking to say the least. you were positive that the boy knew about your feelings, and he would definitely be taking advantage of it. once the cat ears were on your head, they began to move slightly only by you looking at sunghoon. he laughed and your heart raced because of his pretty smile. it was obvious that he was making you flustered and your group mates could be heard teasing you in the background. you tried to defend yourself and make sunghoon flustered as well, but it was hard to without seeming overly flirty.

on twitter everyone is talking about how much you were blushing around sunghoon. while it was a bit embarrassing for you, it was worth it to see all the shipping comments and videos.

kim sunoo

your group and enhypen did a special weekly idol video together. you both had back to back comebacks to promote and fans loved seeing the two groups interact so the company decided to do something about that. you felt nervous being there especially since you had the biggest crush on one of the members, sunoo. you tried not to look at him too much, scared that the camera would capture your lovesick stare. what you didn’t catch was sunoo staring at you as well, a small smile on his face whenever you talked. he thought you were adorable, and he could tell that you were slightly nervous which made you even cuter to him.

later that night when you’re scrolling on twitter, you see a bunch of screenshots, videos and even edits of you and sunoo. everyone is talking about how the two of you looked and smiled at each other the whole vid. some people tried to deny it, saying that you guys were just being friendly. but it was obvious that the stares were anything but friendly.

yang jungwon

your group along with enhypen were on a variety show together. being considered their ‘sister’ group, you were paired up for a lot of activities together. one of the challenges in this show was random play dance. being the main dancer, you knew a lot of different group choreographies and were able to execute them well. being a secret enhypen fan, you were able to dance to their songs perfectly which caught jungwon’s attention. his eyes sparkled as he watched you, feeling flustered from seeing a pretty girl perfectly execute his group’s choreography. when ‘bite me’ came on, he immediately joined you, making all of the members yell out in surprise. one person wolf whistled (jungwon swears it was ni-ki).

enegenes go absolutely insane over the two of you dancing to ‘bite me’ together. everyone used to call the two of you ‘siblings’ considering that you were both young leaders and main dancers. but after seeing the way you looked at each other, people decided that it was a little too intense for ‘siblings’.

nishimura riki

being the maknaes of the group, you and riki were paired together for the telepathy challenge. the both of you stood back to back, headphones on so you couldn’t hear each other’s movements. your groups members would hold up a sign in front of you and riki that said the same word or phrase and if you could both make the same move or action, you would get a point. you and riki proved not to be very telepathic considering that all of your moves were different. that was until you both had to act out the word ‘dance’ and started doing the ‘sweet venom’ head move at the same time. both of your groups yelled out in excitement, causing you and riki to turn around and give each other high fives.

one clip of you two went viral where riki holds onto your hand a bit too long during your celebration, his eyes only trained on your face. when the boy sees it he feels extremely flustered, but he sends the clip to you with a winking emoji, hoping to send a subtle message.

©neos127

[the-cosmic-cauldron]

Astrology Observations 08/12/2024

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Your Sun Sign as a Kid and as an Older Adult

 

Aries

Kid: Aries as a kid is a dreamer, the kind to escape in the corner of their room envisioning all that they wanted to unfold in their future. They loved solitude, as they felt they could be in their own world without interruption. They felt so intensely connected to their imagination that it became a focal point of their childhood. They begin to look at the school kids, excited by all the possibilities to bond with different people. They fell in love fast with their crushes, thinking of them constantly and hoping that they could experience the romance of their lifetime. The Aries child has a big heart and often can put their needs to the side to help another person in need. Innocent children who needed shielding from the harsh realities of the world. They desire much affection and reassurance from their family and friends.

 

Older Adult: Once the Aries becomes an older adult, their exuberant energy and impulsivity begin to slow down. These people begin to vibe and chill and don’t find themselves worked up by the usual. They focus more on stabilizing their lives so they can experience all they desire before they pass. Being around those they love makes them feel grounded, and they find that they have had enough thrills to become more routine. They begin to balance their ambitions with time for leisure and can find that vacationing, being out in nature, and tending to their home bring them satisfaction.

 

Taurus

Kid: As a kid, there was a surge of energy felt in your body, so it was easy to become irritable. You often went into your room and focused on whatever peaked your interest and couldn’t be bothered by others. You felt that whatever you wanted must be yours, and so any desire you had, you were in pursuit of. You often felt that you needed to do something, get your blood rushing, and, at times, enjoy the thrill of life and adventures. You fell easily for your crushes and often wanted to speak and spend time with them, though you had many and plenty of crushes. You may have been moody, but you were also very excited to share your positivity.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult Taurus, you have a knack for speaking. You can communicate effortlessly and may turn to public speaking, writing, and conveying information to others. You become engrossed in all of the new things you discover and find that the internet is your best friend. You enjoy going out to meet new people and may desire to change your social circle. You find that boredom sets in too easily, and so you go off to scram for your next adventure or form of stimulation. You may find that your best ideas come to you in the middle of a conversation, and you may venture into taking classes, going back to pursue another degree, or finding free courses. The library is also another one of your interests, or just purchasing books. For fun, you’ll explore new places locally.

 

Gemini

Kid: As a child, Gemini, you were reserved and chill. Oftentimes, you lay back and let others be the stars of the show. You were picky and hard to please, oftentimes stubborn. Your parents may have had a hard time convincing you when you didn’t want to do something. You could’ve thought you were far more mature than your peers and wanted your parents to give you access to things that weren’t age-appropriate. You easily got bored of your new toy and wanted new things fairly fast. There is some sort of satisfaction that the Gemini child gets from being surrounded by material possessions. There is also a deep desire for the Gemini to feel stable and to have a very fixed routine that they follow. It takes longer for the Gemini child to form a crush and to talk to their crushes.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult Gemini, you begin to crave the smell of a freshly baked pie in the oven, the softness of your bed, and a nice hot shower at the end of the night. Nothing brings you more joy than your family, and you often feel delighted being around your children, partner, and grandchildren. You look at your home as a safe haven and may find that you want to renovate or improve it. Warm and sentimental, memories mean everything to you, and as much as you enjoy making them, you also enjoy the nostalgia of reviewing them. You feel your emotions much more, and that allows you to gain more insight into yourself and others. You lounge around on the sofa with your phone in your hand and a hot tea, talking about your day. You find that stability is what makes you feel at peace, so you secure your spot at your job and make sure to keep your savings.

 

Cancer

Kid: As a child Cancer, nothing peaked your interest more than people and your environment. You wanted to explore your hometown and make new friends. You were full of ideas, and your friends were always up to the things you wanted to do. Everything was interesting to you, and you found that there were many questions you pondered. You may have always needed an answer to some new theory or question in your mind. With so much going on mentally, journals were your best friend. Writing allowed you to get it out of your head and on paper. You were the child going from one thing to the next because you hated the feeling of being bored. The most exciting thing was taking a trip somewhere, whether to the beach, your family's house, or the zoo. Going the distance for an experience was exciting and a hallmark of your childhood.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult with cancer, you find that you enjoy being recognized. You no longer want to hide and can enjoy putting your talents, creativity, and style boldly out there for others. You enjoy compliments and luxury. You aim for the highest quality items, and you find that your big heart is incredibly devoted and generous to your loved ones. Warm and affectionate, you thrive during family gatherings or in your career as you make strides towards success. Your glow becomes infectious, and you age like fine wine. People love your positivity, and you gain a lot of new friends and suitors.

 

Leo

Kid: As a kid, nothing excites you more than coming home to your favorite food. The scent taking over your house made you feel at home and delighted to exist. Family meant everything to you, and you enjoyed time with your grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and siblings. Sensitive at heart, you cherished every new friend you made. The holidays were an exciting time for you and a hallmark of your childhood. In the midst of the busyness, you took time to indulge in your imagination.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult, Leo, you find that you want to refine your life. Everything needs an upgrade, and you’re very particular in your aesthetic and taste. Your focus may turn towards being of service to those around you; you may be the one people call on for assistance. You find that you get intrigued and more pragmatic towards your career goals, and you may switch into a field where you can learn and advance. You are not easy to let people in, and you compartmentalize your life. You may have work friends, but outside of work, you tend to tread a different path and present a different character. You become organized and want to put your best self forward.

 

Virgo

Kid: As a kid, you were multi-talented and incredibly creative. People often rejoiced in hearing your ideas, and you had an infectious smile and aura that made people fond of you. You were generous, offering yourself and your possessions to others. With such a big heart, it was easy for teachers, parents, and friends to like you. Playtime was very exciting, and you enjoyed exploring your mind through play. You enjoyed affection, affirmations, and compliments. You stood out and did things others wanted to do for themselves.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult, Virgo, you find that your taste expands. You have an eye for beauty and art. You may find that you’re drawn to the field of the arts and that you have a desire to upgrade your fashion and style. You enjoy socializing and find that you get along with all different kinds of people, but harmony in your relationships is prioritized. Your social circle widens, and opportunities to travel, be promoted at work, or go out around town open. You find that people are drawn to you without you doing much. You care a lot about others and are constantly looking to improve the circumstances or the world. You find partnership very important and focus on deepening your bond or finding your soulmate.

 

Libra

Kid: As a kid, you enjoyed reading a lot. Your source of entertainment was learning, and it felt great to be able to read up on different subjects. You were the kid watching everyone else, observant of your surroundings; you were trying to make sense of the world around you. Kind and manner-able, you followed directions and were sweet to other children. You often looked to others to see what was appropriate behavior, and you found out quickly what you needed to do in order to fit in. You wanted to do well at everything you did, and a simple art project encouraged you to bring out all your technical skills. You wanted to impress others with your ability to surpass expectations.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult, Libra, you seek to gain status in this world. You’re not the person who wants to flaunt it; instead, something intense and intrinsic tells you you need to make a mark on this world and leave behind a legacy. You begin to pick up momentum, determined to work towards success. In the meantime, you also have a deep desire to search for the truth, and your spiritual beliefs may shift. You may find that you go through a transformation unexpectedly that shifts your perception of the world and makes you feel and see things much deeper. You can start to grow distrustful of people and become more private with yourself. It can be hard to gain access to you as you have a different perception of your relationships.

 

Scorpio

Kid: As a kid, Scorpio, you are a social butterfly. You love being around others, especially your friends who you chat the day away with. You enjoyed the luxuries of life as a kid: dining out, movies, parks, etc. You love having a good time and being out and about. Receiving gifts and new things excited you, and the more possessions you had, the more content you felt. You were always there for those you felt were not getting what they deserved because you believed in their well-being. You enjoy dressing up, changing, and experimenting with your style, and you loved romance films and had many crushes.

 

Older adult: As an older adult Scorpio, you give zero fucks. You don’t care what people think of you because your pleasure and enjoyment are what matter, and you’re going to do the things that fulfill you. You may find that you start to look at your beliefs and may start to ponder questions of life that you haven’t examined before. You may feel the need to join a religion, turn to spirituality, or go through a period of reinventing and finding yourself. You laugh loudly and have a lot of fun; distant lands and traveling locally both sound exhilarating. You’re less rigid and more open and perceptive, allowing others to understand your inner workings more.

 

Sagittarius

Kid: As a kid, you were interesting; leaving you alone wasn’t hard because there was a level of maturity you held at a young age. You were also quite introverted, always scanning and analyzing those who came close to you. You were the chill kid, but deep inside was an entire world no one knew about, and you were firm with that. You kept it to yourself and explored it on your own. Oftentimes, as a kid, you were stuck on carving out your own path, which could’ve led to either an interesting group of friends or a more lonesome social life. You were interested in an array of fascinating topics, and you constantly wanted to learn and know more.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult, you get serious. You mean business, and you want to be the boss and at the top of what you do. You don’t have time to wait on the sidelines; you need to be at the forefront. Stability means everything to you because you want to enjoy your retirement. You like to be around material possessions, and you find that you are more into quality than quantity. You are honest and direct in how you speak, but you don’t have time for the fluff; you want to know what is true and real. You find that you have an easier time handling responsibilities.

 

Capricorn

Kid: As a kid, Capricorn, you were hungry for knowledge. Nothing makes you feel more at home than learning more and getting deep into your studies and interests. You were hardly satisfied with scratching the surface as you plunged deeper and deeper into your curiosity’s. You often said whatever was on your mind, which could make for great humor or a lot of awkwardness. You always wanted to experience more, and you had a deep desire for total freedom. Outside of your fascinations, you were lighthearted and fun. You boosted people’s mood just by being around, and they were cherished for your strong personality.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult, Capricorn finds that routine is frustrating and that, after all, accumulating possessions isn’t as satisfying. The Capricorn starts to deviate from their goals and starts thinking large. They realize there is a whole world out there, and what part do they play in creating a better society for the next generation? The Capricorn takes their material possessions and donates them, does volunteer work, and advocates for other disadvantaged people. The Capricorn finds that they become interested in new technologies and different communities that they’ve never been apart of. By increasing their social presence, Capricorn gains a lot of new and unique friends with whom they can share their ideas.

 

Aquarius

Kid: As a kid, Aquarius, you were studious. You followed the rules, did what was told, and wanted to exceed expectations. You were reserved and often preferred to be in the background. You talked in a direct way and may have enjoyed extracurricular activities and being challenged. You gained a lot of awards, medals, and badges. You weren’t focused much on crushes. You were often more mature in acting or looking than those around you. You kept how you felt to yourself.

 

Older Adult: As an older adult, Aquarius, you find yourself connected to your spirituality a lot more. Your connection to others in your life is a strength, and it’s as if you feel life has transformed for you. You begin to feel your emotions more intensely, which leads you to stray off to yourself to escape into your own fantasy world. You could really find that your inner world is far more fascinating than the world outside your home. You discover sides to yourself that you haven't, and you strengthen your relationship with your partner or find yourself in search of your soulmate. The artistic side of you shines more, and you can feel that laying low and occupying yourself on your own feels a lot more fun.

 

Pisces

Kid: As a kid, you stand out; you’re sort of an odd ball in your own way. People find you interesting, and you might even be puzzled by yourself. There is a level of surprise and unpredictability that comes with it. You often, at times, rebel for the sake of it. You love meeting all kinds of people and enjoy learning about others and their lives. You find that you don’t want to tie yourself down much and enjoy grandiose ideas. When you have one, you’re sure to tell everyone as well. At times, you detach from your own world and can seem a bit disinterested in life and others.

 

Older Adult: You find that you have come out of your cave and made your mark on this world. One day things change, and you have a certain boldness that shocks others. You start manifesting and creating the life you want, and all of the things you mentioned finally sprout. You go through many phases before finding the path to what you truly feel resonates, and you’re always cheerful, making others smile. You find that you can assert yourself and your boundaries easier.

 

 

 

 

Why These Pairings End Up Together

Aries- Virgo

These signs both have a focus on goals and desire loyalty.

Taurus-Libra

These signs share sensitivity and a mental connection.

Gemini-Scorpio

These signs are both powerful, one determined to gain success and the other determined to influence.

Cancer- Sagittarius

These signs both go after what they want and value honesty.

Leo-Capricorn

These signs are both independent and confident.

Virgo-Aquarius

These signs both desire a better world and share a spiritual bond.

Libra-Pisces

These signs are both artistic and in their own worlds.

Scorpio-Aries

These signs are both strong and powerful leaders.

Sagittarius-Taurus

These signs are both physical and spiritual.

Capricorn-Gemini

These signs both speak their minds and have influence.

Aquarius-Cancer

These signs both are visionaries who don’t mind taking their time to make things great.

Pisces-Leo

These signs both are creative and involve themselves with others very well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[ellmeria]

Quick Astro Notes 🍄

— The following are just a few things I've noticed about certain placements (mostly sun). These are mainly based on my experience and observations!

I will always trust a Libra's judgment. I know they can be indecisive, but that's because they see both sides of the matter. They weigh all the pros and cons of things (they're about balance), so when they finally come to a decision, you know it's for the best.

A Taurus Venus can be obsessed with jewelry. They may not be a fan of buying costume jewelry because they care about quality and longevity. They're the type of people who inspect every nook and cranny of an item before buying it to ensure it is worth their money. They also tend to reward themselves every once in a while and encourage others to do the same! 

A lot of Virgos I know have such a way with words. I love reading notes/messages from them because they are usually well-written and full of substance.

People with Mercury in Aries are never stupid. I know that sometimes they can be loud, and confrontational and hot-headed, a bit insensitive. I get it. I somehow agree based on experience. But stupid? Nope. These people are fast learners, have amazing wit/humor, can explain even the most complicated topics with conciseness and brevity, and are just so quick and good with comebacks. Their brain (and mouth) works so fast that it becomes a double-edged sword.

Leos are magnificient. I have never seen one who's lacking in the appeal department. They know how to dress and carry themselves. I also love their eyes! It's piercing and gives very similar vibes to their animal representation (lion).

I think the 3rd House may also indicate how a person walk. This is because 3rd House rules short travels, and usually, we travel short distances on foot.

Ex: Aquarius risings may walk so fast due to Aries in their 3rd house. On the other hand, those who have Venus/Taurus in their 3rd house may walk slowly.

Capricorn placements are so attractive when they're in their leader mode. They take leadership positions so seriously that even though someone with this placement doesn't have prior experience with it, they still manage to get things done (and do well!). I noticed this with all the cardinal signs, but most commonly with Capricorns.

Cardinal (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn) and fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) always take the initiative. That one classmate who often starts the conversation about the group activity and instigates the planning? I bet they have these signs in their chart.

Every Sagittarius needs a travel buddy, AKA their Gemini friend. They have food to try and places to be.

I have never met a Pisces who does not know how to crochet or is not interested in learning the skill. They really are so creative with their hands and have an eye for beauty!

Most Sagittariuses I know have a healthy work-life balance. They know how to let loose and have fun while maintaining their 0 missed deadlines status. I am listening and taking notes.

People with many planets in the 1st House can be more assertive, have 'louder' verbal and nonverbal expressions (gestures, tones, etc.), and expressing themselves comes naturally to them. Meanwhile, those with planets in the 12th House may be more docile with their approach and have more tamed gestures and expressions.

Pictures were taken from Pinterest. Credit to the rightful owner/s.

♡ 𝓡𝓲𝓪

[hbheavensent]

Belphegor/The Sloth Ring

Oh my sweet sleepy she/they who gets off screened,,,

Also I did a bit of building with The Sloth Ring in general.

Belphegor, out of all the fallen angels, had the easiest transition from Heaven to Hell. She's practically dead to the world most of the time and conversations with her never last very long. She is eternally exhausted, excluding a cold chill that inspires you to curl up with the nearest blanket- but if you get too close to her fur you'll just melt right into it. Naturally I took away her arms, they won't be needing those. I imagine she's very magical, has telekinetic powers that move things out of her way automatically when she sleepwalks. Also some level of psychic powers, very good at reading emotions... would be awesome if she could communicate that but she rarely has the energy too. As for the rest of her design elements, I combined moth motifs with her previous sheep/llama vibes. This isn't for any good reason really, I just heavily associate moths with winter and death. I've also tried to make her shapes a touch more rounded besides the wings/cape arms. I wanted to really emulate drippy wax with her fur as well- Honestly, I'm not sure I'm happy with her but I DO love her dark smokey candle that just fucking blinds you lmao

I wanted to lean into a overwhelming presence with the big form, I honestly might go back and rework it because I'm not super happy with it but- yk. I really was inspired by the Minecraft Warden for her as she acts as more of an environmental hazard, not only are you mostly in the dark but you're completely disoriented. Like you're being pumped full of melatonin gummies and are desperate to stay awake. She's for sure in a lot of pain in her Big Fuckoff Form, all she wants to do is sleep. I imagine she can't talk at all like this, projecting feelings into people rather than having the energy to express them, which is naturally draining on anyone else.

As for the Sloth Ring, I wanted to scrap the hospital thing and fully make it into a winter wonderland. The cold really slows the world down, muffles noise, makes you want to just stay in. Why go to work when you have to shovel the driveway? Also I find it fun to make it so that Hell Literally Froze Over since she was the last to fall. Primarily for not doing their job in Heaven. Belph was the Archangel of Dreams, Visions, and Positive Energy- which was originally shared by herself and Lucifer before The Apple Incident, and then after her own fall those titles were given to Lucifer's younger brother Michael. (Who we will get to LATER, I have a lot of Extra Angels to draw.)

This is a shorter post because admittedly with finals week I have been scatter brained as all hell BUT! I do have the rest of the Sins + An Extra done and colored! Sorry this is sparce guys

Also I realized the sins Big Fuckoff Forms (particularly Mammon and Bee) are not big enough but this damn thing is as big as the canvas gets so I'll have to mess with it yet again-

[uranometrias]

wait for your love, spencer reid (pt. 2)

this is the second part to this. tysm for all the love on the first part, as well as all the new follows. this literally took so long, and i'm literally so sorry. i suck, but i hope you all enjoy it nonetheless. xx

you can read the alternate version for jj right here.

pairing: aaron hotchner x bau! reader | spencer reid x bau! reader | s7 team x bau! reader (platonic)

summary: following the dismissal of the case against the bureau, you're trying to get back into the swing of things. that moment of realization that comes with discovering the love you feel for someone else isn't reciprocates is never fun. but it's a truth you're meant to accept nonetheless, with a bit of help from your dearest friend spencer, you find that through a conversation about the realities of music and their hidden messages getting the courage to move on is not quite as difficult as you might have initially thought. especially when there's someone like spencer reid waiting on the other side. except of course, things always get difficult when it seems now as you're moving on, the past object of your desires is believed to feel the same way you always have.

content warnings: this is the sequel to angst lol. it's still very kind of angsty, but not as bad! it doesn't exactly end with spence/reader running off into the distance together, but i think it has a very bittersweet & sort of hopeful ending, which i felt made the most sense for a storyline like this. sometimes people have feelings for people that don't like them back, and sometimes it's just something we have to deal with.. sad but true. && i didn't want spence to seem like a rebound for reader, so i tried to go the route of her slowly putting the pieces together that maybe spence had romantic feelings for her && going from there. still spencer somewhat confesses his feelings for reader, hints that hotch might actually like reader, jj/reader reconciliation, because it needed to happen soz! she might have feelings for y/n too idk... she's kinda pulling everybody. this feels kinda melodramatic, but also idk i want epic romance vibes so i tried my best xx

i also love how hotch was such a focal part of this story and never physically showed up once... hmm.

tagged the people that asked for part 2 xx

@stvrlitsky , @cocopuff213 , @aaronhotchnerlover , @ofagathachristies , @blurpleuni-squid , @wolf-phoenix-lover , @babyspiderling , @queermaxwooo , @jihyowrrld , @minkyungseokie , @silentjudger , @btskzfav , @barbeddreams , @ah-blossom , @darker-december

It had been about a week since the court proceedings, you'd been more than a little surprised to find that you all managed to walk away scot free. You still hadn't managed to work up the courage to place your resignation papers on Hotch's desk, probably because you still hadn't gotten up the strength to face him or anyone else for that matter. You weren't outwardly abrasive, you'd offer small nods of greeting when you showed up in the morning, waves as you left.

But everyone knew that it wasn't the same.

Penelope had been trying to get you out for a night of bonding with her, Emily, and JJ, and you'd been keen on turning her down. You don't think you were quite there yet, the wound however surface level was still fresh. Looking at Emily, only reminded you of your grief, how much you had missed her. Looking at JJ only reminded you of how she hadn't had the courage necessary to tell you the truth. You'd tried to take their positions into account, look at things through a different view, but it hardly worked. You just wanted to be left alone.

Spencer was still the only one privy to the thoughts you had about ending your career at the FBI, and everyday he seemed to be holding his breath. It had become a habit to catch him staring at you with his face pinched up like he was deep in thought. It was partially why, even as your eyes skimmed over a file, you knew that he was looking in your direction. "Spence." you mutter quietly, eyes not quite meeting his as you highlighted something of importance in blue.

He sits at attention, back straight, eyes wide. He looked like a puppy that'd been caught doing something bad and was waiting for punishment. "You're doing it again." you exhale, and then you finally manage to peel your eyes from your work, eyebrow raising as you take him in tiredly. "Do you need something?" and he bares down on his bottom lip, almost as if he was thinking over his next move. He stands tall, grabbing hold of his chair and tugging it until it was planted on the other side of yours, before he sat down politely.

"Are you okay?" he's talking quietly, likely to salvage a bit of your privacy. You'd become a bit of a walking attraction in the bullpen, everyone seemed to follow every one of your actions with their eyes. You tap your highlighter against your desk, head tipping to the side as you scrutinize the man. You didn't know exactly what was going on with Spencer, but you had a small inkling, it was nothing more than an internal feeling if you were completely honest about it.

Your sister had been asking about him quite constantly lately, and after learning that day in the courtroom that for some odd reason the duo spoke over the phone, it made you pay a bit more attention to the certified genius than before. "I'm fine, Spencer. Just like I was when you asked me yesterday, and the day before that, and the day before that." you keep your tone light, not wanting him to think that you were by any means annoyed with him. "What's going on?"

"I guess I keep waiting for you to disappear." he admits, head nodding involuntarily. "You're here right now, and you look fine." he continues, and you like listening to him, even if he was breaking one of the rules, and choosing to profile you. "So shouldn't things feel different? Better at least, like before?" he asks, and you don't expect that. Maybe he wasn't profiling you at all, and instead was expressing himself to a friend. "At least a little bit?" he asks, and you think it over.

"I don't think it'll ever be like before, Spence." and you hate to be the Betty Buzzkill, but it's as true as you can be. "How can it?" and Spencer's eyes jump across the room, landing on Emily who was not so subtly watching the two of you speak. You follow his gaze, and blink harshly when Emily's eyes connect with your own. It forces you to look right back at Spencer. He looks pensive, and you wonder how long he's been working up the courage to say more than 'Are you alright?'

"She was dead... and now suddenly she's not. That's great, but I grieved my friend, and maybe I'm not done grieving the Emily I knew before." and it's the first time you're admitting this aloud. "Our Emily, not the- Interpol Superspy." and you huff. "And look, I know I should be grateful, how many people get back the people they love after death?" and Spencer doesn't answer. "But is she really back? Is she really still our Emily? And how long before she's ready to pack up her stuff and take off? I'm not opening myself up to that again."

Spencer thinks your point is valid, he at one point had insisted that he had the worse abandonment issues on the team, but you had been right there through most of it. You were, in your own way protecting yourself from being hurt again. He couldn't fault you for that, none of them should. "I understand." and truthfully he does, and he's glad that at least you trust him enough to be upfront about it. "There's nothing wrong with shielding yourself from heartache, I just don't want you to close off completely... not from all of us."

You falter, and Spencer hates that he can't just say that he doesn't want you to close off from him. He didn't want this situation to change the way you behaved with him, he couldn't handle losing you.

"I won't." you promise. "And I won't do anything to jeopardize what we do here, I've got enough self control to be civil." you add with a small smile. "I haven't quite decided what a future at the bureau will look like, but I am willing to give things here a chance to get better." and you do love your work, Profiling was something you enjoyed doing, you wouldn't toss it away, unless you absolutely had no other choice. "So you don't have to worry about losing me, Spence." and you hold your breath, mostly because it's a bit audacious on your part.

He offers you a half smile, and you notice the way he visibly relaxes. Still, he doesn't want you to feel obligated to stay somewhere just for his sake, so he feels the need to be honest with you. "I'm not worried." he promises you, and it's a tiny fib, one that could become true if he grew just a touch more confidence. "Even if you did decide to leave one day I would put in the work to keep you in my life." and his smile stretches across his face now, and reaches his eyes. "You're not someone anyone would want to lose." your stomach twists.

"You're not either, Spencer." and you say it firmly, mainly to show just how much you need him to believe it. "I'd just make it my job to take up all your free time outside of work." and his face feels incessantly warm, like he'd stuck his head directly in the stream of scalding shower water. The funny thing about you was that you were oftentimes one of the hardest on the team to read. He figured that because he spent so much time hyper focused on you that he'd get better at it. He still hadn't, and you still managed to leave him stuck.

Comments like the one you just made were common for you, but the meaning behind it always escaped him. Were you flirting with him or were you just being nice? Was it possible that you knew that he had feelings for you? Were you using him as a rebound after the mess you'd found yourself entangled into with Hotch just months ago? The thought of him merely being an emotional rebound made him sad, disappointed, and insecure. But then he's taking in your expression, how despite your confidence you still look shy, and reels it in.

You had never been that sort of person, maybe you were just as oblivious as he was. "I'd be okay with that now." and you look a bit surprised, but also pleased. You nod your head slightly, leaning forward just a little in your seat. Spencer isn't sure if he's moved too quickly, but he's got no room to second guess it now.

"We should do something." it's not at all what he'd expected you to say, and he's surprised, it's more than evident on his face.

"Who? Us? Just the two of us?" he asks, and you find yourself offering him an amused sort of glance.

"Yeah, it could be fun." you insist, and you're not trying to play with his feelings, at least not in the traditional sense. Spencer Reid was no rebound. "It's not often we have days off, you know?" and you lean against your palm, head tipping slightly to the side. "Only if you want." you add, hoping that this addition would make him feel a touch more comfortable. It seems to work, because he untenses just a bit.

"Y-Yeah." he nods his head slightly, hair moving with the action just slightly. "Yeah, we should definitely do something." he agrees, and your smile is bright, clearly pleased at the turn of events. "When would you?" his eyes jump to his watch, and he shakes his head. "Obviously, not right now." he says and you're staring at him a bit bemused, because Spencer Reid was nothing if not a bit unserious.

"There's this music store I've been dying to check out." you say, and you witness Spencer's eyes seem to brighten. "It's sort of right on the strip, if you don't mind going with me to look at some vinyls and cd's for my collection, we could just go-" and you're eyebrows are raised, "And see what happens? There's a lot you could do..." you finish, and Spencer's already nodding his head in agreement.

"T-That's..." and he clears his throat, you think to keep you from acknowledging the fact his voice cracked in his nervousness. "Yeah, I don't mind that at all." he agrees politely. "Did you know that in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, record stores only sold gramophone records, but over time they've sold other formats like eight-track tapes, compact cassettes, and compact discs." his hands curl into one another as he relays this message and you snort.

"Did you know that there's a national record store day? It started back in 2008." and he's a bit surprised that you're shooting him a fact of your own, and one that he wasn't actually aware of.

"Really?" he questions, and your eyes sort of crinkle, smile broadening enough to show off both rows of your teeth.

"Don't tell me that I know something the brilliant Doctor Reid doesn't." you tease, and his eyes roll, though his entire demeanor remains lighthearted. "So, what's your poison?" you sidestep, but just barely, your work ignored as you focus all your efforts on keeping this conversation with Reid going.

"My poison?" and his mind of course drifts to alcohol, a bit of a confusing pivot in the conversation. "I don't really see myself as much of a drinker." he admits truthfully, and he's confused when you're laughing, hand flying up to cover your mouth as his face contorts.

"I meant your favorite music genre." you correct. "And I know you're partial to classical," and you try not to stretch your eyes. "It's great when I need to concentrate, but I wouldn't exactly say I'm dying to put on Bach and Tchaikovsky in a regular setting." you explain, both hands resting against your cheeks as you await the hopefully longwinded answer he'd have to give you.

"What if that's my only answer?" he asks, and you scoff.

"It's not." you deadpan, and he exhales through his nose. "I know you and Morgan have that understanding about music..." you explain, head cocked to the side. "He got you to listen to Nas." you remind him as he purses his lips at the reminder. "And Garcia's always sending music recommendations." you proceed as Spencer shoots you a look that clearly reads 'What's your point?'.

"Are you really telling me that out of every genre of music that's ever been released to the entire world, the only genre that's ever stood out to you is the one where old men sit behind a piano and twinkle the keys to their hearts content?" Spencer's releasing another one of those quiet laughs, this one is clearly full of exasperation though.

"I think they're doing a little bit more than twinkling keys." he corrects you, and you know that. You'd only said it to get under his skin just a little, he was fun to mess with. "Classical music is one of the only genres that seemingly does so little and is able to express the full spectrum of human emotion and life experience." he explains, and you fight your smile, leaning in just a bit more to show you were focused. You weren't sure what was happening or if anything was really happening at all, and it was all in your mind.

But you were finding that you didn't mind just listening to Spencer go on and on about whatever he wanted. You thought a lot about what had happened outside of that court room, how he'd listened to you. Really listened to you, and had never once made you feel like the emotional failure you'd imagined yourself to be. You couldn't say that in the span of a week all of your feelings for Hotch had vanished. That'd be bullshit, because deep down you knew it wasn't that easy.

And sometimes you wished it could be, sometimes you wondered why you had to fall for Hotch when Spencer was right there.

Still, whether or not you were being forced to come to grips with the fact that Hotch was not, and wouldn't ever love you the way you loved him, you couldn't deny that it was nice to have a friend there. Spencer wasn't coming to you with heavy confessions and tear-streaked cheeks begging you to look and see that he was perfect for you, which is why you think you like him even more. You knew a lot of times it was hard, rare even to find someone who would just care for you without expecting anything in return. That was Spence to a T.

"Go on." you instruct, and you find that despite the way you'd baited him into this conversation, it was well worth it. He didn't get a lot of time to just be Spencer, and with no clock over your heads, no rush for time to solve a case, you figured it was the least you could do. Especially after he'd spent the last week trying to show you how much he cared.

"I just mean that in classical music, it's actually very common to have one piece of music encompass an entire host of emotions, experiences, and subject matter." he expresses, and you hum, nodding along. "And it's all because most classical pieces use a similar formula that uses textures, dynamic colors and key modulations to express things certain words can't properly articulate." he proceeds. "That's why certain sounds and notes manage to adduce certain reactions." he seems finished.

"Oh, yeah?" you press and he nods limply, seemingly awaiting the moment you offer some jab regarding his oversharing. "I guess Mozart and Beethoven were really onto something." you mutter, and he snorts. "Still, I'd much rather listen to something a bit more obvious." you admit, not that you had a real problem with Classical Music.

"What do you mean?"

"Well I'm just saying... music's always sort of been the perfect tool for expressing everything you might need to say." you counter. "And while I agree that music in any form does a great job of invoking certain emotions, sometimes you don't want to guess what someone means." you admit, and it's partially (mostly) because you had never been good at reading in between the lines. Things always made the most sense when they were plainly spelled out.

"Or maybe that's just a me thing." you correct. "I've found that I always enjoy things when they're a little more laid out... there's no way to misunderstand when it's spelled out for you, right?" you ask and Spencer's lips curve down into a slight frown. He's not pitying you, mostly just sympathizing with how torn up you must have been about everything. Especially as your eyes instinctively are drawn to the shut doorway of Hotch's office. Spencer thinks that's when reality sets back in and hits him like a brick.

Because he knew something that you didn't. Something that would probably make everything better for you, but would undoubtedly double his heartache. In truth, he, much like everyone else on the team tried their hardest to ignore just how obvious you'd been about your feelings for hotch. spencer more than anyone.

He remembered how things had changed a few months back, how you'd started to move on all for the rug to be pulled from up under your feet. It had been outwardly cruel, undoubtedly. because while everyone else on the team seemed to be just fine with 'don't ask, don't tell', Spencer had been unable to not pay attention to the way Hotch had actually changed too. Did he hate him? Absolutely not... and he knew you didn't either, because despite how idiotic the plan was, he hadn't done much besides give you more attention.

And Spencer guessed the act of giving you more attention had unsurprisingly ended with Aaron Hotchner realizing it was something he actually enjoyed. Hence the sudden change their boss underwent.

He supposed that was the worst part about it all, the fact that everyone had the right to tell you that "nothing had happened", and there was nothing you could do about it. Because in the grand scheme of things nothing really had happened. Hotch was no heartless womanizer, Spencer couldn't even imagine the man flirting with anyone, let alone stringing someone along for kicks. Still, that didn't change the fact that you'd gotten your hopes up, and now you were back to your own harsh reality.

Not because it wasn't a real possibility, more so because Hotch was self destructive, and sabotaged himself and his happiness at every turn. Spencer wants to stay quiet, to bask in the fact that you were slowly on your own terms getting over Hotch, and paying more attention to him, but he can't do that. He'd hate it if someone did it to him. So instead he decides to throw you a bone, push you in the right direction. "Why haven't you just talked to him?" it's not what he had meant to say. He had meant to play the role of the supportive friend.

He'd wanted to pat you on the back, mumble some agreeance that would validate how you were feeling, and possibly give him cool points. Instead, here he was about to push you in the direction of someone else. He supposed that's how stupid love made you.

"What?" you exclaim, and Spencer doesn't know what's so exasperating about his question. It was obvious that you needed to, it wasn't fair that you were slowly deteriorating on the inside whilst trying to maintain some semblance of being a "team player". He said 'screw the team' if it wasn't genuine. And clearly, from the way you'd still been icing out JJ and Emily, it wasn't. Not fully anyway. He'd never rush you to get over it, mostly because it'd make him a hypocrite. He still cringes at the thought of the tears he'd shed to JJ.

But, that was his own problem.

"Hotch." he lowers his voice a little, because it's just now hitting him that the two of you have been slacking off for a while now. Emily wasn't exactly focused in on the both of you anymore, but every so often, he'd find that she still look up every few moments. JJ, Derek, and Rossi had made a habit of leaving their respective offices, eyes glued to what was apparently becoming unit news. "You should talk to him." he says simply as your eyes cross dramatically.

"What's there to talk about?" you ask suddenly distracted by a smudge on the corner of your desk.

"What happened." he says simply. "I mean, don't you think there might be some explanation you might be missing?" Spencer tries, and you curl into yourself just a little bit.

"It's still work hours and he's still Hotch." you deny, and Spencer's lips push to the side, an obvious sign of his slight discomfort about what he was going to say next. "He's not going to want to talk about it." you admit. "And what exactly do you say in a conversation like that? Oh by the way boss, I was in love with you, and it kinda felt like maybe you felt the same, except oh wait, it was just a ploy to keep me from realizing you were lying about Emily being alive?" you say sarcastically. Spencer huffs in retaliation.

"Yes actually, you could say exactly that. Maybe you'll learn something you didn't know before." he deadpans, and your nose curls. You cut your eyes over at the man, who's not amused.

"I kinda thought you'd be the last person pushing for this sort of confrontation, you know?' you admit before you can really help yourself. You watch as Spencer's face seems to set into one of surprise, his cheeks and neck slowly gaining a red sort of tint to them.

"What do you mean?" he questions, and your mouth parts just slightly. And you think the same way he's been gentle with you is the exact same way you need to be gentle with him, so you pivot, head shaking from side to side.

"Nothing." you say firmly. "Forget about it." you say quietly, and then you're looking back at your paperwork. Spencer, embarrassed finds himself fiddling with his fingers, trying to scold his heartbeat back into submission. It suddenly felt way too cramped sitting at your desk.

"You should go after work." he says, and your eyes snap back to him. "Talk to Hotch after work, I mean." he says and your stomach feels a bit tight. "I think it'll be best." he proceeds, and you frown.

"You do?" you question, and you try not to sound despondent.

"Y-Yeah, I do." he agrees despite his stutter. "Things like this don't go away on their own, you know?" and you chew on the inside of your lip, and feel that gloom cloud from earlier making its way back.

"I thought we were supposed to be hanging out today, Spencer." you start and he blinks owlishly, long lashes nearly caressing the tops of his cheekbones.

"We could always raincheck." he says, and you stare at him just a bit blankly. "It's not like it was a date or anything. They were just plans..." he adds, and your teeth chomp down on your bottom lip. He doesn't really know how to read the look on your face, but he knows that he feels like he's being noble.

"Just plans." you shrug your shoulders dismissively. "Right." and then you pick up your pen. "Well if that's what you want, I guess it's fine by me." you add, body curling into itself as you position yourself away from him.

"Isn't that what you want?" he questions, and you cut your eyes.

"Do you think I'd be sitting here if it was?" you keep your voice level, but your leg is bouncing. You're not quite sure why, maybe because Spencer was being Spencer. You supposed your comment that made it clear that you knew that he had feelings for you had scared him. Now, he was trying to protect himself, but you weren't so hungry for a relationship that you'd string him along for the sole purpose of getting over Hotch. You would've made this call had you figured it out or not, and you supposed the fact he didn't get that was what sucked. "I'm not that pathetic." you add with a quiet scoff.

"It's not about you being pathetic." he denies. "I don't think that about you., I just know that you're in a vulnerable place. You had real feelings for him, and I think it'd be best for you to get it all off your chest correctly, before you start projecting all those leftover feelings to the first person you can." and he doesn't mean it in the way it sounds. In fact the statistics about rebounds would sound a lot worse, but as usual, he's horrible at communicating exactly what he feels.

You blink. Once, twice, three times.

"I can't believe you just said that to me." you say, and you're abruptly standing up, mostly because you're about to cry like the fucking baby you were. Spencer's certain this is a new record for how quickly things could go left just because he couldn't shut the hell up. What he'd been trying to convey was that after a rejection, it was much easier to mistake platonic feelings for romantic ones. He had been a consistent shoulder for you to lean on since everything went south.

He didn't want you to think that he was being nice to you only because he had feelings for you, and convince yourself that you felt the same all because you refused to fully shut the door with Hotch. But he'd never actually meant to make it seem like you'd be so desperate, and especially not with him. "Y/N, wait. That's not what I meant-" except you're already leaving, taking in the shaky breath that told him he'd stupidly made you cry.

"L/N?" Emily's calling as you pass her, but you don't respond to her either. Instead you're rushing off in the direction of the bathroom, likely to calm yourself down. Emily's eyes are immediately snapping over to Spencer, and her eyebrows are furrowed. He instinctively looks away, internally cursing himself out.

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"Y/N/N?" you're surprised to hear JJ entering the bathroom, and you're hurriedly moving to splash at your face with water to keep it from looking so puffy. Still, JJ was as perceptive as she was pushy, so it's clear she's already put it together that you're crying. "Hey, is everything alright?" she takes on that motherly tone she uses with Henry, and the rest of the team when they're feeling down.

"I'm fine." you insist, and she doesn't look convinced. She takes a tentative step towards you, standing beside the sink you were occupying. "Seriously JJ, please just leave me alone." you partially beg.

"I know you're upset with me, but you're still my friend." she reminds you. "I'm not going to leave you in here when it's clear you're upset." she exclaims. "So you can talk to me or not, but I'm not going anywhere." she deadpans, and you sniffle, rubbing harshly at your cheeks. They're sensitive to the action, blood rushing to your face.

"You're so annoying." you mumble, but there's no bite. It makes JJ snicker, and it's a step in the right direction you're sure.

"It's my job." she retorts with a shrug, and she leans her back against the sink beside you, legs crossing slightly. "Is everything okay?" she tries again, much more gently as you frown. No, everything was not okay. You hadn't actually expected to be sitting here crying over Spencer's remark, but you supposed that the fact he believed you'd ever use him as a rebound had kind of hurt. You supposed it also didn't help that he'd so callously canceled your plans.

You'd actually started to look forward to hanging out with him.

"Do you think I'm desperate?" you question haughtily, and JJ's eyes widen, surprise overtaking her features as she turns to you fully.

"Of course not." she denies firmly, blonde ponytail bobbing with all her intense animation. "What would make you think that?" she pries, and you cut your eyes just slightly.

"You guys could have trusted me with the truth." you counter, and she falls silent. "And even if you couldn't there were so many other ways to keep me from finding out about Emily. Ways that didn't involve making me look like an idiot to the rest of the team." you mumble crossly, and you blink enough that you feel like your lashes are crumpling into your cornea. it forces you to drag a hand over them roughly, rubbing harshly at your eyes until the sensation left.

"That wasn't what we were trying to do." JJ tries, and it doesn't really matter what exactly she was trying to do. What mattered was what had happened. "You know that." she adds, and you think she's trying to appeal to the part of you that knew the type of people she and Hotch were. The ones that had proven their loyalty to the team for years and years. "Is this about Hotch?" she says and you wince because the problem wasn't that simple.

And you didn't understand why everyone seemed to think so.

You weren't some girl that couldn't handle rejection, what bothered you the most was that Hotch and JJ had felt like they couldn't trust you, and it bothered you that Hotch had felt like he had to play along to some stupid fantasy to ensure you'd play your role. And it especially bothered you that you'd mourned your friend Emily and everything you thought you knew about her, and all anyone could focus on was the fact that you liked Hotch and he didn't like you back. As if your entire world stopped all because of it.

"No, it's not about Hotch." you deadpan. "I wish you guys would just stop being so casual about it." you add on as JJ's mouth parts.

"Y/N... it's not really something that you'd ever really been subtle about. Everyone knows." and she's still trying to be gentle, despite the fact that the words still managed to slice at you.

"So that makes what you guys did, okay?" you shoot back. "Is that really the hill you want to die on?" and you're growing crosser. "This isn't about not being liked back by a guy, this is about me believing that the people I spend most of my days with have my back. How are we supposed to be a team when I can't trust you?" you press. "Because you never would have done that to Spence." you add, and JJ blinks, mostly because she doesn't know how to counter that.

"You didn't have to do it to Derek or Rossi or Penelope either." you remind her. "So what was it about me, about this that made your only course of action rubbing salt in a wound that I was doing a damn good job of healing all on my own?"

"I-I don't know." she admits, and you suppose it was an answer.

"Yeah, well I don't know if I have the patience to wait around for you all to figure that out." you mumble.

"What are you saying?" and JJ's blinking a bit more, eyes misty but not quite showing any signs of shed tears.

"I'm saying that before I didn't know if I wanted to stay here anymore. I love my job, but I don't love how it makes me feel now." you say plainly. "When Elle got like that and ignored her gut it got someone shot." you say, and it sounds melodramatic, but it doesn't feel that way at all. JJ gasps, though it's faint. "I just don't want to wait around for that to happen to me." and you inhale sharply, shuddered breath wracking through you as JJ stares at you clearly gobsmacked.

"But-" and she can't quite grasp the words. "You can't just leave." she exclaims, and it sounds like she's pleading. "Look-" and she's starting to sound just a little desperate. "Look we never wanted to hurt you, okay? And-and none of us..." and she stops to make sure she's staring you directly in your eyes. "None of us want to lose you, Y/N." she insists. "I-" and she's shaking her head again. "Please don't do this." and she sounds the same way Spencer did when he said it. Your nose twitches, "We just got the team back together." she mutters.

"JJ, that's not fair." you huff at her, and she's not really trying to be fair. She just doesn't want you to leave.

"I'm so sorry that we hurt you." and while most apologies that start that way are usually rife with deceit, JJ sounds more sincere than she probably ever has before. "And I'm sorry if it feels a little flat, especially with you already having a foot out the door." she sighs, "It wasn't okay, but-but I know how Hotch feels about you. How the entire team feels about you." she reiterates. "We can't do this without you, we can't." she emphasizes sternly. "And maybe that's selfish to bring up, but we all care so much about you." she promises.

You want to cut her off, but she doesn't give you the chance.

Classic JJ.

"Do whatever you need to! Take as much time away as you need, hate us forever if you have to, but please don't- don't walk away from what you do here." she exhales shakily. "And-and for the record, whether it helps or not... we didn't sit around discussing your... feelings for Hotch." she tells you quietly. "It wasn't some master plan that we composed, and-and I don't know... it couldn't have all been fake." she whispers, and you wonder why she's changing her tune, because just last week she was telling you that 'it wasn't real'

"JJ-" you finally manage and she's shaking her head.

"I'm serious." she insists, and your nose crinkles up again.

"Stop." you deadpan. "You're being really mean." you huff, and you begin to click at your nails just slightly. JJ thinks you're a little bit exasperating. Too stubborn for your own good, but she wont push.

"Could you just listen for one second?" she exclaims, and you're pouting as she grows more overwhelmed at it all. "I wouldn't lie to you about this." she insists, and you wonder why she, and Spencer have taken this sort of stance with you. It should make you hopeful, right? Oh, there was some chance that Hotch felt the same way as you. Except you can't be happy about it, because he's not the one that was sitting here telling you this. It was JJ.

What had you told Spencer earlier? 'There's no way to misunderstand when it's spelled out for you, right', and emotionally exhausted or not, you meant it. Which meant you refused to do the work for him. If he couldn't say it, if he couldn't admit it, than it was as if it wasn't true at all. Which is why you exhale, blinking away whatever bleariness tried to keep itself latched to your eyes. "I love you for trying so hard, but I'd rather you didn't." you instruct sternly.

JJ inhales deeply, audibly expelling the breath from her nose. "That's what you're missing, Y/N." she begins, and she reaches out, hand cupping your shoulder. "I'm not trying to do anything. Everything I've said today I meant. You're important, and you're a lot to lose." she admits. "If you're going to leave, leave because you hate the job, do it because you don't feel fulfilled any longer. But don't let this be what makes you throw in the towel, Y/N." she says and you huff again.

You were doing a lot of that today. "We'll make up for it." she begins, and then she sighs. "I'll make up for it, however long it takes." and you think her pivot from sharing the blame to taking it all for herself makes you feel a little less like you were being ganged up on. She was no longer the spokesperson for everyone involved, and was back to just being JJ, your friend JJ. "Please?" she tries again, and it's not like her to beg, which tells you all you need to know about how serious she was.

"We should get back to work." you mumble, and it's not quite the answer she's expecting, but at the very least it was a promise that you both still had until the end of the day at the very least. She doesn't have the strength to fight her smile, arms looping around you in a move that's much too invasive for your still sour mood, but you don't slight her for it. You instead let her hug you, because obviously it meant a lot more to her than you knew. She'd missed you.

"Alright, alright. That's enough." you tease, moving to lightly push the blonde off of you as she exhales.

"Can you blame me? I thought you were gonna hate me forever." she admits honestly, and you crinkle your nose.

"Guess I'm softer than I thought." you reply, and she waves you off at the remark. Still, despite this slight turn in the direction of your relationship with JJ, you still couldn't feel all that settled. But, you know hiding out in the restroom was by no means the best choice. So when JJ moves to leave, you tail her, surprised when on the other side is a nearly pacing Reid.

"Spence?" JJ exclaims in surprise, the tawny haired man turns to you both. He's immediately looking past JJ to take you in. JJ follows hos gaze and whistles under her breath, deciding that her job was done. She offers you a hopeful sort of look before she continues on towards her desk, leaving you and Spencer mostly alone.

"Are you okay?" he asks, and you're subjectively alright, for the moment. You're better than you were, but not as good as you could be. You're not anywhere near where or who you were before, but you suppose after what the team endured there wasn't much that could be done about that last bit. "I'm so sorry." he's exclaiming, and of course, he means it. He always means it. "I didn't mean to-" and he doesn't really know how to articulate all his thoughts correctly.

He's good with words, knows facts and statistics and data, knows what runs through his mind when he thinks about you, and knows what he wants to say. It's when he opens his mouth that things go awry, because despite all his grand attempts, he always manages to screw up when it came to expressing the emotional side of things. His pep talks sometimes fell flat, and a lot of times he missed the mark when it came to cheering someone up. But, he'd never wanted to be a person who hurt you, so he needed to fix it.

Even if it ruined everything forever.

"I wasn't trying to insinuate that you'd-" and he motions between the both of you. "I don't think that you see me as a rebound." he finally vocalizes. "That would mean you'd have to see me in a potentially romantic way." Spencer's voice is as steady as it often was when he was giving a geographical profile or helping to relay some form of fact or evidence during a case. Which said a lot about his intentions, and how serious he was about you not misunderstanding him.

"I was merely trying to note that a lot of times in circumstances where we're faced rejection from someone we hold to a high regard, it's really easy to misinterpret our own feelings and latch onto people before we really mean to." he expresses, and your chewing on the inside of your cheek, albeit subtly. "For example, because you've established me as someone who you can trust during this time, it'd be really easy for you to misinterpret what you think you feel for me." he says, and your eyebrows furrow inwardly.

"How could I possibly do that? They're my own feelings." you retort.

"Because, the first thing people do after a breakup, is they seek validation, or a new way to boost their esteem and self worth." he doesn't quite lecture, but it's clear he's intent on your knowing all of this. "And that doesn't necessarily mean that you're vying for me as a potential person to bounce back with, but a lot of times when you don't process the end of a previous emotional bond, your view of the entire new dynamic can be warped." he proceeds, and you're still not really understanding his point, instead you're feeling more silly.

"What are you saying, Spencer?" you question quietly.

"All I'm trying to explain is that I don't want you to tell me that you want to go out and listen to me promenade facts unless it's what you really want to do." he says, "I don't want you to feel like you're obligated to play along, because you think we're in the same boat... where we- we love someone that we can't have?" he presses, and he winces once it's out, you think you may have started holding your breath. "Does that make sense to you?"

You nod your head limply, and you take in his words. You find that your little hunch about your dear Spencer was correct. You also note that it doesn't quite scare you the way you'd initially believed it would. "Spence, I wouldn't do that to you." you remind him, and he nods too.

"I know that." he promises. "At least not consciously, but our minds can play tricks on us. You could think that this is what's best, moving on... forgetting about- about everything that happened." he presses, and your lips form into a thin line. "And then wake up in three weeks and remember why you fell in love with Hotch to begin with."

"Or-" and his eyes widen.

"Or?"

"Or...I could choose to stop waiting around for someone to not be afraid to love me." you counter. "I could- I could choose to hang out with my friend, Spencer and be okay with whatever happens after that. I could- We could do that. And it could be okay." you purse your lips. "Because, it's what I want to do. Nobody's entitled to my feelings but me, and you know what that means, Spencer? It means that if you think that you might love me, you need to be okay with that." he looks a bit startled that you're saying it so bluntly, but stays quiet.

"And you need to know that sometimes your statistics are gonna be wrong, and sometimes the guy that's too scared to admit how they feel doesn't get the girl." it's a shock, you can't say that you've fallen out of love in a day, you can't say that you've fallen in love in a day. But you do know that Spencer Reid managed to invoke a hope inside of you that you hadn't managed to feel in a long time. He made you girlishly giddy, and you liked talking to him, you liked listening to him, you liked the way it felt when you'd made plans together.

And maybe there was no such thing as a happily ever after where everyone gets who they want, maybe in three weeks you would wake up and find that you and Spencer were better off as friends, but you weren't going to hold up your life in the hopes that maybe someday Aaron Hotchner would wake up and decide he was finally ready to love you out loud. Not when there was a chance to take your own life, your own emotions by the balls and do with them what you wanted.

"He doesn't?" Spencer asks, and you're not quite sure you can place what emotions are resting on his face and in his eyes.

"We can find out." you offer, and it's not some heady and heavy declaration of unyielding devotion, but wasn't that sort of how every relationship started? With some decision to take a chance. Maybe, you didn't really know. "There's this music store I've been dying to check out." you say, and for the second time that day Spencer seems to brighten right in front of your eyes. "It's sort of right on the strip, if you don't mind going with me... there's a lot we could do…" and the small change is almost everything. It's scary, causes a pit in your gut.

Still, it's a nicer feeling than uncertainty and the hollowness left behind by idleness. "Are you in?" you ask, and Spencer is already nodding his head, smile reaching his eyes as his pretty teeth reveal themselves to you, eyes twinkling in a way that's very very beautiful.

"Yes." he agrees with a simple nod. "I would-" and you think it's cute the way his smile refuses to leave, and sweet the way he's suddenly grown nervous all over again. "I'd like that-" and his voice cracks, and earns him a laugh, your own demeanor seeming to change as your excitement starts to brew in the depths of your chest.

"Good." you beam.

"Good." he repeats, and there's a small moment, a flicker where you're certain you both look nervous, frightful of what came next. But it only lasts a second, because you're both suddenly being called by Derek, a resounding 'Pretty Boy, Pretty Girl' forcing you out of your bubble and back into the fray. With another shared smile you find yourselves in step, making your way back towards the heart of the bullpen where the rest of the team is huddled. It's rare when work is so light, but you know as well as everyone else, you'll all take advantage of it.

When Penelope smiles at you, you smile back, and it's real.

When JJ plants herself on top of your desk, the two of you actually laugh, spilling secrets and trading gossip like nothing's ever changed.

When Rossi calls you Piccola, you relax even more into the familiarity of being surrounded by your teammates.

When Derek slings an arm around your shoulder and plants a kiss to the top of your head, you remember why you loved your job.

When Emily calls your name and waves you and JJ over to the group, you oblige, meeting Emily's eyes with no mirth left behind. When she calls you by your nickname, you feel that familiar swarm of familial adoration filling your chest, and recognize that things with her would be okay. You find that in the grand scheme she is still your Emily.

When you find yourself standing next to your boss, his usually stern and stoic persona shed in the presence of the team he considered family, you hardly bat an eye. When he smiles at a joke you make, you're pleased, but the anxiety, the panic that tormented you is all gone. The butterflies are too, replaced with the respect you remember.

And when you find yourself looking across the circle and meet the pretty brown eyes of one Spencer Reid, you feel it when your heart tremors, just a little bit.

And you think, in the end, you made the right decision.

[sramoonlight]

Robin for a night

Content you’ll see here: bat sis, batfamily, reader

English its not my first language so please be patient!

The batcave wasn’t a place where they usually hang out, but since you moved to the manor you had the weird idea to wait for them to go on patrol or see them once they come back, usually you do it alone maybe with Titus or with Alfred the cat but this time you were playing cards with Cassandra.

It as 12 o’clock and you were waiting for Damian, well, Bruce was

— Achu! — You sneezed covering your nose, you thought you were starting to get sick but there was nothing staining your hand

— Gezz (reader) maybe you caught a cold after all this nights — you knew that wasn’t true, you don’t sneeze without reason only if-

Damian appeared taking his usual militar position next to his father, he looked normal but he can’t lie to a twin sense

— Im ready for patrol, father —

— No, you’re not, you’re sick — You pointed causing Cassandra to raise an eyebrow not knowing why did you say that, of course, for her eyes Damian was absolutely good

But then he sneezed, a deep one that you knew he was holding back

— I can’t take you out like that, you can get worse — Bruce said taking off the domino mask on Damian’s face, he groaned on response not happy to put on time out

You chuckled at his reaction looking at your cards again, you kept playing with Cassandra as you overheard the conversation behind you.

Damian hates when someone sees him as weaker, but about this? You can’t argue with your dad, because you know, once he gets a very bad flue you’ll get one too

— But you’re right, it’ll be hard without Robin — Your father said and Cassandra looked at him, you mumbled something to ask for her attention in the game

— You can pick a replacement, I’m sure Tim would be happy to be Robin again —

Another groan, Damian doesn’t look happy about it

Eye contact

Your head moved to face the floor, you can already know what is in his mind and you need to think in something to not do it

— I request (Reader) as my substitute for tonight — damn demon!

— I can’t, we don’t look alike anymore — you tried to convince Bruce that it was a mistake

And you had a point, your hair was longer than Damian’s so it would be weird to see Robin with at least 20 cm longer hair

— You can have the hoodie at all times, it won’t be weird, Damian does that sometimes — Your instantly looked at Cassandra, she chuckled at your reaction.

— That’s fine with me, I’ll use this to bond more — The worst was that Bruce is happy with that

Damn family!

The Robin costume felt weird on you, you had almost the same seizures as Damian but you need to take a deep breath every some time, you loved your father but he doesn’t have any chest.

The Batmobile doesn’t feel weird actually, it’s like being in a car that has ultra futuristic mechanics, not too futuristic, without knowing much you can point at certain buttons knowing what they do.

Going back to the point, Damian let you borrow his katanas just because you didn’t have your weapons at the manor

And god, you can’t say that you missed the feeling of having that on your hands

— Let’s go Robin — Speaking of feelings, you have to admit that being called Robin gives you pride

Like if that tittle gives you magic.

You ran along Bruce chasing minor delinquents, just a few punches and they’re out

Who said that being a vigilante could be this fun? Still, you had to pressed back the smile on your face, Damian doesn’t smile when he’s on patrol

— You’re enjoying yourself — Bruce said looking at the way you kicked the thief’s face, not too hard because you didn’t wanted to break his jaw

— sure I am! This is so fun — you cleared your throat adjusting your voice to sound like Damian’s it wasn’t perfect but you can say it gives the vibe.

Being a vigilante felt so refreshing, you didnt punched to kill and that makes your heart feel lighter

— Robin careful! — in a blink you saw one of the thieves approaching with a name in his hands

And in a blink you unsheathed the katana on your belt

Cling cling

One more hit and you’ll be over with this, you just need to disarm him

“Go for the chest!”

A voice shouted and without hesitation you obeyed thinking it was Bruce giving you an advice maybe to end this duel faster than ever

But you couldn’t be more wrong.

You didn’t notice when something red stained the katana, neither when you felt your hands so wet that you had to let go of it, but instead of being dropped to the floor you could see how it is standing by its own

Well.. not like that

— Oh, oh god — Words left your mouth, not impersonating someone but being your true despair, you just stabbed that thief.

Hands shaking as you looked at your father, with eyes as open as yours Bruce doesn’t know what to do, like time was just stopped

Should you take it out? No, that’s stupid

And even if you tried, your hands are shaking enough to not let you do anything else

Why does this disturb you? You’re not new to killing people, but it was the first time in weeks

The first time Bruce saw you doing it.

Your head screamed to you, asking to run, to do something and you can only see how Bruce punched his opponent before running towards you

Your body moved by its one, you ran away as quickly as you could, running away from what Bruce is planning to do to you

Of course he will, right? His number one rule is no killing and you just disobeyed.

It doesn’t matter if he shouted your name not caring if he was on patrol, your legs couldn’t stop moving

You screw this up, on your first night as Robin

What is he going to do to you?

What is going to be your punishment?

Your lungs asked for air but you didn’t listed until you found a place to hide, the hood wasn’t up anymore and you had to cover your ears

Not because it was loud out there, but because you wanted to stop the screams on it

Screams that you hear when it’s dark out there, when the moon can’t be seen and you’re alone on that London room

And what makes it even worse, the way you can’t find air, the suit felt too tight for a moment like it was suffocating you

— (Reader)! — you heard someone calling you but you can let them see you, you know that when you panic and cry like this you can only wait for punishment.

Heavy breaths, your heartbeat feeling even more lauder now that your hands are on your ears

You’re alive and they’re not.

— Hey little one, come here — a pair of arms took you out of your hideout, you tried to fight back, pushing him away to do something

But he embraced you, that pair of arms hugged you tightly

— Shh, it’s okay — Bruce hugged you trying to calm you, to calm the voice in your head — I’m not mad, it’s okay —

A kind tone that makes you cling to him, the tears don’t stop but instead you have someone to hold you

— Oracle, send someone to.. — you didn’t hear that last words, instead you keep sobbing in your dads arms

And that man doesn’t let you go until you can’t cry anymore, it felt like hours.

He didn’t cared, he kept rubbing your back as your hiccups made you sound like a kid, and you were, the worst of all was that you were a kid playing to be a vigilante

You rubbed your eye wiping away the tears, finally you could speak

— What happened there (reader)? You were doing so good — Bruce didn’t stopped talking to you in a kind tone, you wondered if he just do that by his own or if he learned to do it

— I- I don’t know, I was just fighting and then my instinct told me to do it — a short explanation let Bruce humming in response, another rubbed in your back asking you to continue.

— I didn’t want to, I wear I didn’t —

— I know, don’t worry, Oracle made sure that he’s okay — You felt better knowing that you didn’t kill him.

Bruce wiped away the tears in your eyes, you could only hear the silence as he let you thought for a moment

He pulled up the hood hiding your face from everyone, his arms lifted you carrying you like a big baby, or that was what you feel

— Let’s go home, we had too much for tonight —

The sun went up and you didn’t notice when it was another day, you hugged your knees on the floor

You don’t know where you’re at, you just know that you jumped out of Bruce’s arms to hide again, not even taking off the Robin suit

This time no one went after you, knowing that you needed time to process.

Someone knocked, now you could see that you were under a table on the library and that someone was Jason.

— Space for one more? — He joked getting under it with you, his legs sprayed not even trying to fit in, just being by your side as you kept in silence

— I know the feeling, you were used to do bad things and once you do them again it hits you — words that didnt helped your heart feel better, instead making you remember the moment

— When I was your age I did one of those too —

— No, you didn’t —

Your voice sounded rough, consequences of crying and not getting any water after it.

— I did, as Robin too — Jason hugged you by the shoulders pushing you closer — I was so mad that I moved without thinking, and once I knew, that man was on the floor — you looked at him, he looked back

He wasn’t lying, he had the most honest eyes you had seen

— How do you deal with it? — you asked, not because of his story, because you knew he used to kill as much as you did.

He thought for a moment, his hand rubbing your shoulder

— You never do, you just live with that — the answer was one you were expecting, your mother used to say the same thing when you ask that question

— But, that doesn’t calm the storm in your heart — He pointed at the symbol in your chest

— You did bad things, but it’s on you if you want to keep doing it — it felt weird, the man who killed, that doesn’t hesitate before shooting someone said that to you — Change for the better, and undo all the pain you caused —

In a moment you hugged him, hiding your face from the world

— Let’s get you out of this thing, little one —

Your head doesn’t hurt anymore and the screams are no longer there, you still need to take a moment but you know that no one blames you for what you did

You’re a different person right?

[b1asho]

Erm, oc comic? Just click on the images idk how to change the image position formatting here yet :(

This is what I've been doing all this time, I need to practice putting these things together. I like some things and had fun, but it also looks kind of yucky.

Oh well

Featured here are Rinshi, a muttreazik, and their boss/sister Maro, a Sundyne who's been (violently) ousted from her extremely politically important clan (for terrorism and attempted assassination :D )

The two are hiding from authorities in the SEZ, and not having a great time in general.

Here's a buncha other info, aka i want to talk about my wretched ocs :

-Rinshi is a mancer, meaning they're a muttreazik with a degree of control over matter around them (think telekinesis). Their blue eyes aren't the result of my choice of coloring, thats the color they are all the time (a highly highly unusual color for muttreazik, even in the 'other' color category).

Rinshi is also a 'they' in the same way you'd call an animal an 'it' rather than a 'he' or 'she' if that makes sense. They don't think of themself as nonbibary in the human sense, instead it's more of an "outside of the binary and therefore a nonperson" way that Cerest use for xenos. It's the only option that's not male/female/he/she that they're aware of in this point in their life

Maro is a she (and VERY upset that it means she can't ascend to God emperor)

Rinshi is hunting with a nail that they’re controlling with their mind because that’s a lot easier than chasing down the alien rats yourself.

Normally this would be very easy for them but they’re kind of going through it right now, thus the major space-out and eye-bleed at the end (which normally happens to mancers who either overextend themselves or try to do stuff without any energy support from the body)

Not all Cerest-homeplanet animals have a decentralized nervous system like Cerest themselves do (such as these two animals, who have all their thinking meat in their head), but either way a shard of metal through the face isn’t good for anything

There are pockets of Cerest wildlife in the SEZ if you look for them hard enough, which Rinshi has to do because they’re currently in the outer reaches of it away from any inhabited districts where you could just buy/steal meat products. They're spending a considerable amount of time doing this since they're trying to keep a large hypercarnivore alive right now.

Maro got her face and torso cut up pretty bad during her.uh. Incident. Luckily Cerest heal fast, though infection and only eating rats has complicated and prolonged things. They’re currently living in an old habitat pod, which she can hardly leave thanks to the healing process (which has left her pretty much unable to walk. If she could, she'd definitely be the one doing the hunting because she has fewer qualms about killing things than rinshi does.)

This conversation is pretty out of character for her, but like she said, it's boring spending most of your time asleep in a garbage heap rather than pursuing your ambitions of ruling the world. Thankfully, she can always just ask her trusty retainer about things they don’t want to talk about.

‘et kerusit’ is just the Cerest version of like ‘my liege’ but specifically in the Sundyne female context and specifically for someone in Maro’s (former) rank/position in her (former) clan. "Princess" is also a pretty close analog but neither really sounded right so I made up some words. "Retainer” is the closest word I could find for what Rinshi is to Maro, and it fits fairly well (there is probably a better word out there but i like the old-timey knight vibe) they were originally employed to her clan as basically her little assistant and mandatory friend/bodygaurd/ally/etc. This happened mostly as an insult to her because that role should normally fall to a fellow sundyne and not a 'lesser species', but she has made it work.

I'm still testing this out but the Cerest language conventions are also why the question marks are out front most of the time, they don't change tone to indicate a question and instead just say an "I'm asking you a question" word at the start.

Rinshi also has a sort of stutter no matter what language they're speaking, with different words and sounds causing prolongations or repetitions. They didn't have any kind of support for the issue growing up, so theyre not great at managing it. So that's why some of their words are like that

The aforementioned rank difference is also why Maro gets 2 << instead of 1 when speaking (she's using a different enunciation of words to indicate her status, as is Rinshi. Basically ï for royalty i for commoner, or something. If they were speaking a Drecu dialect rather than a Sundyne one, their words would be in these things -> [[ ) .

As I’ve mentioned up there, they see each other more like siblings in their own mini clan (but she definitely calls the shots in their relationship )

Muttreazik think rebirth is real and they’re kind of right (at least within their own species). Rinshi does NOT want to dwell on where they used to live but those ideas were drilled in at a very young age.

[yeetfanficccc]

Love is for other people Boq Woodsman x reader oneshot Wicked musical

Concept- Shiz years AU(everyone is just vibing at Shiz and nothing goes wrong because I can’t emotionally do that right now) 

(Y/N) is one of Galinda’s friends trying to get her to admit her and Elphaba like eachother. Boq takes an interest in (Y/N) instead of Galinda. Nessa is just vibing and doesn’t like Boq because plot connivence. Fiyero is Fiyeroing in the background. I made up some fun Ozian words for Galinda to say! Not proofread, gender neutral reader

“So, you like her right?” 

“What!” Galinda gasped in her high-pitch tone clutching her chest, “I positively do not! That would be absurd, impossilosious even. We are just friends...” She spoke the last word in a breathy sigh, her long eyelashes fluttering. “Very good friends.” 

“Friends that stare at each other longingly from across the room?” Just that moment Galinda’s face snapped back to me from her not so obvious turn to Elphaba across the lunchroom during our conversation. ShenShen and Pfannee were eating near us and were only kind of aware of Galinda’s crush, so she leaned in further to me. 

“Hm.” She crossed her arms with a pout, “(Y/N) you’re too perceptive-its frustafacating!”

“You should tell her, really. From the way she looks at you, I think she might like you to.”

“Really?!” Galinda shot up from her seat eyes a blaze, “I mean… that would be nice.”

“I don’t know for sure of course. But you’ll never know if you don’t ask. Just think about it.”

“That’s the problem, I am very bad at thinkafacating when she’s around. My mind goes to mush. It’s very�� very… oh I don’t know…”  

Galinda looked longingly at Elphaba on the other side of the cafeteria. 

Ever since the night at the OzDust, Galinda’s true view on Elphaba seemed to bubble to the surface. She pretended to hate her for so long that once they admitted they should at least be friends, all those deep-seated emotions were at a boiling point. For weeks now, (Y/N) watched as her most confident, cheery friend turned into a blushing idiot whenever a certain green witch was around. Really, it was adorable. 

In a way, I was a bit jealous. Sure, I’d had my fair share of crushes, but no one who made me feel like I was dancing on clouds high in the sky. So, I resigned myself to love from the sidelines. I supported my friends, kept my fancies to myself, and pretended it didn’t bother me. Love was for other people, not me. 

“Oh! Elphie is coming this way.” Galinda grinned, “how do I look?” 

“Beautiful as always. I’ll leave you to it.” I patted her on the back, “good luck.”

After a nod and signature toss-toss, Galinda shifted her focus from me entirely to Elphaba. I snuck away, smiling at seeing my friend so happy. My afternoon class wasn’t for another 20 minutes, so I decided to take a walk as a little treat. Shiz had breathtaking grounds, it was one of the main reasons I came here, I liked to take advantage of whenever able. 

“(Y/N)!” a familiar voice called waving his arms up and down. My soft smile grew.

Before, I knew it, Boq appeared at my side, “hey Boq!”

“Lovely day, isn’t it?” he said with a sheepish grin, “the clouds are umm… cloudy!”

“Boq, have you ever been in love?”

“What?” his face turned as red as his hair. 

“Sorry.” I laughed, “That was sudden of me. I just never have and was wondering what it felt like.”

“Oh.” A small disappoint fell over his face, “well I-I have.” 

“Really? How long did you date them?”

“Oh, we never dated. It’s just this person I really admire…they’re kind, smart, and endlessly breathtaking… they’re probably out of my league though.”

“Wait is this current? How come you never told me!” I grabbed my friend’s hands, and the poor boy looked like he was on the verge of passing out “sorry, sorry I got excited.”

“Don’t be sorry. You never need to apologize to me.” He said with sudden seriousness. It took me aback a bit, even making my cheeks heat up.

“Are you ever going to tell them? About how you feel?” 

“I want to. Even if it’s just so they could know how amazing they are. But it’s terrifying. I don’t want to mess anything up.”

“That’s really hard.” I directed us to a clearing and laid on the ground. Boq followed suit, our eyes to the bright blue overhead. The wind swept past us, and for a moment the rest of the world fell away. 

“That cloud,” he pointed, “what do you see?”

“A dog. No wait, a girl maybe.”

“I see a scarecrow….and next to him is a lion, with a man- but not a regular man he’s stiff- like he’s made of tin.” 

“How?” I teased shaking him, “how did you unlock such a clear vision? I just see clouds!”

“(Y/N), there’s something I really want to tell you but-“

“Well look at these two lovebirds!” 

I peeked up to see Fiyero, hands on hips, gazing down at us with his perfect face. 

“Hey Fiyero…” Boq sighed, “Wait. What did you call us?!”

“I was just going to my favorite slack off spot only to find it occupied by you two. So, naturally I assumed this was some kind of romantic tryst. And during the school day no less! I must say I’m rather impressed.”

“Move, we want to look at the clouds not you.” I sat up. Boq next to me was clearly a bit frustrated.

“You’d be the first.” Fiyero contested. I mean, he wasn’t wrong, “Well, if this isn’t a date then I guess I’m free to ask (Y/N) on one.”

“WHAT?” Boq and I said in unison. 

Fiyero was nice as a friend, but I would never want to be with someone like him. He just wasn’t serious about anything including me. I had no idea where this was coming from. 

“You, me. Tonight, at the Ozdust.” 

“Well I don’t know what to say really…” 

“Wait!” Boq said way louder than he intended to, based on the growing exasperation on his face. “I want to say something first. (Y/N), I don’t want to freak you out but the person I was talking about earlier was you.  We’ve been friends for a few months now and I always have so much fun when I’m with you. You make everyone around you happier and brighten their lives. I think you’re incredible- but I understand if you just want to be friends. All I want is for you to be happy.” 

“Boq,” I choked, “that was the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. I would love to go on a date with you, to try things out.” 

“Please say I’m not dreaming.”

“You’re welcome.” Fiyero patted Boq’s head.

“Did-did you ask them out just because you knew I’d intervene?!” Boq stood up glaring at the prince.

“I like helping people. Besides it worked! Not that I wouldn’t want that date if this doesn’t work out…” Fiyero leaned down and kissed my hand, “but I want to see my friends happy.”

“We’re not friends.” Boq corrected. 

Fiyero sauntered off whistling and I was left picking up the pieces of what the hell just happened. 

“Did you really mean what you said?”

“Of course.” Boq blushed.

“Well Woodsman,” I kissed his cheek, “I’ll see you tonight, 7.” 

~ a month or so later

"And then Fiyero asked me out which lead Boq to finally confess!" I recounted my boyfriend Boq and I's coming together for the 100th time. I loved the story.

"Still, nothing is better than Galinda here stopping in the middle of her sentence to tell me that she dreams of me every night and just kept going like nothing happened." Elphaba laughed as her girlfriend lovingly pouted.

"I was covering my bases!" Galinda defended.

"All you had to do was ask and I would have done my Boq magic on you." Fiyero jumped in.

"I would have confessed on my own!" Boq tensed grabbing me tighter. My heart skipped a beat every time he got adorably defensive. Which around Fiyero, was a lot. "Eventually..."

"Please with my sister, it would have taken nothing. She would tell me about how frustratingly lovely Galinda was nearly everyday..." Nessa Rose giggled.

As I looked at my friends around me and my loving boyfriend at my side I sighed. My heart was bursting at the seams. Maybe love wasn't just for other people, maybe love could be found in the most unexpected places and people. Like a way too handsome munchkin boy who was brave enough to spill his guts to me after some clouds in the sky.

[verdemoun]

Fun fact, Kieran may have been originally supposed to live longer, at least judging by his many unused voice lines (found on YouTube) and a longer hairstyle which I actually think looks better for him (found on rdr wiki of cut content). Maybe he was supposed to go to Guarma? The voice lines to me suggested going on hunting missions with him but I’m not too sure.

spoilers. obviously

fun fact i have listened to the 2+ hours of Kieran's cut voice lines so many times even my housemates know it and groan when they walk in and i'm listening to it. Did you know one of his cut voice lines for a near miss in a shootout is 'whoo, nearly took my head off!' to foreshadow his eventual demise? And he has several variations of lines telling Arthur to rest with the gentlest tone suggesting he would have been one of the few characters to show concern for Arthur's illness in later chapters? And slightly less relevant but there is a cut interaction in where he asks Jack to sneak him some food only for Arthur to threaten to kill him BUT CALLING HIMSELF UNCLE KIERAN???

screenshots by cad5150

About Guarma, all but confirmed. Here is one of his cut outfits, which I think very obviously suits the vibe of what most of the gang wore in Guarma like compare it to Micah's Guarma outfit in particular. Additionally he has this hood as an outfit accessory: some people think it was intended that when he rides into camp Horsemen Apocalypse there's a moment of the hood being taken off and then the characters having a much more visceral reaction to his eyes being gauged out but personally I think it makes way more sense that he was meant to be in Banking, the Old American Art 'replacing' Sean as an extra gun. Which would have been really cool because I would have loved a conversation where they bring up they're a gun short and it spiral into more reflection on how they're not just a gun short, they're a man down, they lost the 'joy in their lives' Sean Macguire and they were still hurting instead of just NEVER MENTIONING HIM AGAIN other than a few rare character lines.

Side tangent also his scarf is different in his guarma outfit which is it's own essay because if you're going off the blue high honor red low honor theory this so strong implies we could have seen some really cool character development. looking at what the gang were wearing in banking and then in guarma there's no obvious explanation as to where he got it. how cute would it have been if we got a scene where mary-beth gifted him a scarf?? but the also terrifying implication that we might see kieran become less high honour good boy blorbo to someone a bit more morally ambiguous?

I think the question really is how he would have fit in in Guarma, which of course we will never know and considering how much cut content there is about Guarma. Like everyone else in Guarma makes sense: Dutch's descent into immorality being so clear even Arthur questions it, Bill being the one trusted to look after Javier following his rescue, supporting their friendship in rdr1, Micah reaffirming his position as an actual piece of shit in his lines responding to Hosea and Lenny's deaths and complete lack of empathy. Maybe a kieran who is slightly more ruthless and active in shootouts in guarma but also shows compassion for arthur as arthur gets sick? Maybe the attack on Hanging Dog Ranch was meant to be more a revenge for Kieran's death assuming he was taken and killed similarly to his death in chapter 4 (given how much much foreshadowing there is for his death), but just another misery in chapter 6 that hits harder because we have more time to grow attached and see him develop?

Except. Except then we get to cut outfit kieran.

first. hellooooo sailor. but who is this man. who is this man who looks older. and wears a very, very low honour red scarf. and is obviously dressed still as an outlaw, and didn't go live a happy life with mary-beth. is it. is it possible. kieran was not always meant to be doomed by the narrative??

is it possible we would have seen kieran become more loyal to dutch and micah, true to his army abandoning, gang jumping, choosing to ride with the o'driscolls rather than die, immediately 'loyal' to the vdls despite torture because being alone meant certain death, coward nature? or would he have just been a character john could encounter in the epilogue? perhaps shaken by knowing arthur, as one of his very, very few friends, died trying to be a better person and abandoned any effort to be more than an outlaw?

but. but kieran. shirt all buttoned up. scarf on. thick coat. hair slightly feral and wild. why does it looked like you're all dressed up for the cold, buddy? like- like you might have been hiding out up mount hagen.

[songbirdseung]

INTERRUPTING THEIR LIVE / EN-

synopsis: you basically walk in the room without knowing they are doing a live.

HEESEUNG 이희승 ~

man would be very smug about it.

teases the fans, not showing any emotion of shock or fear.

maybe flirts with the fans to distract them.

The room is softly lit, with a cozy atmosphere. Heeseung sits in front of his computer, headphones on, engaging with his fans during a livestream.

Cue the door opening. You enter the room with a playful smile. "Hey, Heeseung, what are you-" Heeseung quickly signals her to stay quiet, pointing to his headphones. YN tilts her head in confusion. Heeseung mouths "Livestream" and points to the camera. YN's eyes widen in shock as she realizes the situation.

"Livestream? Oh no, I didn't know!" You mouth and make your exit. Heeseung remains calm, reassuring you with a smile. "It's okay, just act natural. We'll have some fun with this."

As you stand frozen in uncertainty, Heeseung turns his attention back to the camera, addressing his fans. "Hey, everyone! Surprise guest in the room. Say hi to YN!"

The chat explodes with excitement as fans greet YN. She nervously waves at the camera. "Hi, everyone… surprise?"

Heeseung chuckles and decides to lighten the mood, teasing the fans. "You know, YN, they've been dying to meet you. Maybe I should let them ask you some questions."

"What? No, no, no!" He laughs at your panicked state. "Come on, it'll be fun. Ask away, guys!"

Fans flood the chat with questions, and Heeseung reads them out loud, turning a potentially awkward situation into an entertaining interaction. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" You turn to him. "Just go with the flow, babe. It's all in good fun."

JAY 박종성 ~

i feel like he'll be very smart about it

like he'll say that it was just a female staff

since the fans don't know he's in a relationship and he wants to your privacy kept.

Jay is engrossed in a livestream with his fans when you unexpectedly enters the room. Realizing the potential frenzy this could cause, Jay remains composed and signals YN to exit discreetly. Once she leaves, Jay smoothly addresses his viewers.

"Well, that was an unexpected interruption, wasn't it? Sorry about that, folks. Just had a female staff member come by for a quick discussion. You know, the usual behind-the-scenes stuff."

Fans in the chat are curious, but Jay skillfully deflects, maintaining a sense of mystery. "Who was that? Another secret collaboration?"

He seamlessly shifts the conversation, redirecting attention away from the personal intrusion. Fans continue to engage, unaware of Jay's relationship.

JAKE 심재윤 ~

cue his "kamchagiya!"

this man would be dramatically surprised by you

would'nt be scared and just pans the camera to you

now you were the one yelling "kamchagiya"

Jake is in the middle of a lively livestream when the door unexpectedly swings open. Startled, he jumps in his chair, the shock evident on his face. "Whoa, what the—?"

As the door fully opens, Jake's expression shifts from surprise to pure delight when he realizes it's you. He grins and playfully pans the camera towards her. "Well, well, look who decided to drop by! Say hi to everyone, YN!"

Caught off guard, you blush and try to playfully hide behind Jake, aware that the fans might not be aware of their relationship. "What's the matter, love? Shy all of a sudden?"

YN peeks out from behind Jake, giving a shy wave to the camera as the chat explodes with excitement. "Wait, is that YN? OMG, Jake's got a girlfriend!"

"Surprise, surprise! The secret's out, guys. YN and I are here to spread some love and positive vibes."

Fans flood the chat with heart emojis and messages of support. Jake wraps an arm around YN, who is still blushing and trying to hide her smile.

SUNGHOON 박성훈 ~

stoned face

pretends you're not even there.

even if the fans asked who it was, he'd say it was a ghost or they are just imagining things.

When the door quietly creaks open, without even flinching, Sunghoon maintains his stoic expression, pretending not to notice the unexpected intrusion. You enter the room with a playful smile.

"Hey, Sunghoon, what's got you so focused?" Sunghoon continues the livestream as if you're not there, calmly responding to fan comments and questions without acknowledging her presence.

"Who's that behind you, Sunghoon?"

"Behind me? There's no one there. Must be your imagination." YN, amused, tries to stifle a laugh as fans become increasingly curious about the mysterious figure in the background.

"No, seriously, there's someone there!" A fan writes. Sunghoon remains deadpan. "A ghost, perhaps. We're in an old building. Wouldn't be surprised."

YN decides to play along, covering her mouth to suppress her laughter as fans continue to speculate. "Guess I'm just a ghost, huh?"

Sunghoon nods "A very talkative one, apparently."

SUNOO 김선우 ~

cutely covers his mouth in shock.

tries to distract the fans and trick them.

but eventually introduces you to the fans.

You decide to surprise Sunoo, not knowing he was in the middle of his livestream. As you open the door, Sunoo is visibly shocked, his eyes widening in surprise. He quickly covers his mouth cutely, attempting to hide his shock from the viewers. "Oh my gosh! What are you doing here?"

You join in on the fun, playing along with Sunoo's antics. "Just wanted to see what you were up to, Sunoo. Mind if I join?"

As fans start commenting about the mysterious figure in the background, Sunoo decides to play a little trick. "Who's there with you, Sunoo?"

"What? Oh, I didn't see anyone. Must be your imagination." After a bit of teasing, Sunoo can't contain his excitement any longer. He dramatically uncovers his mouth and grins at the camera.

Alright, alright! The big reveal! Everyone, meet YN! Surprise!

The chat explodes with excitement and curiosity as Sunoo introduces you to his fans. You wave at the camera, and Sunoo can't help but giggle at the enthusiastic response from the viewers.

JUNGWON 양정원 ~

would be professional about it, like jay

say you were a staff or something

would apologize to you after the livestream

The door quietly opens, and you, posing as a staff member, enter the room. Jungwon glances at you briefly but maintains his composed demeanor, acknowledging your presence with a subtle nod.

Understanding the need to keep things professional. While fans in the chat begin to speculate about your identity, Jungwon smoothly redirects the conversation. "Who's that in the background?"

"Oh, that's just a member of our staff handling some behind-the-scenes tasks. Nothing to worry about." The fans seem satisfied with the explanation, and Jungwon seamlessly continues with the livestream, focusing on the topic at hand.

Once the livestream concludes, Jungwon turns his attention to you. The fans, unaware of the true nature of your presence, continue to discuss the livestream, and Jungwon wraps up with his usual charm. As the broadcast ends, Jungwon takes a moment to express his gratitude once again before you both leave the room, maintaining the air of professionalism that defines his public persona.

NI-KI 西村 力 ~

our little menace

will tease you like jake did, trying to pan the camera to you

would straight up tell the fans and tease them as well

You sneak into the room, knowing that Ni-ki would welcome the playful interruption. As the door creaks open, Ni-ki spots you and grins mischievously. "Well, well, look who decided to crash the party! YN everyone!"

He playfully tries to pan the camera towards you, eager to share the surprise with his fans. "Say hi to YN, the troublemaker who just barged in!"

You playfully wave at the camera, joining in on Ni-ki's antics. "Wait, who's that? Ni-ki, who's with you?"

"Oh, this? Just a little troublemaker causing chaos. You jealous yet? Fans in the chat express a mix of confusion and excitement. "Are you serious, Ni-ki? Who is that?"

"Oh, don't worry. You'll find out soon enough. But hey, if you leave hate comments, it just means you're jealous."

As the fans continue to speculate, Ni-ki finally decides to spill the beans. "Alright, alright! I won't keep you in suspense any longer. Meet YN, my girlfriend."

Fans flood the chat with emojis and excited comments, welcoming you into the fold. Ni-ki continues to tease and playfully interact with the fans.

[chaosherald]

A Word with Friends (2 of 2)

Started by @hedwigoprah , hosted this week by @seaglassmelody

Tags for anyone who wants in <3

This week's word is: Sanguine

Definition (Adjective): optimistic or positive, especially in an apparently bad or difficult situation.

(Totally different vibe from entry #1 😂 Takes place pre-Tearstone Island, post almost everything else. Established Rookanis. Mourn Watcher Rook takes a field trip with Jacobus. I am very much on team "Rook gets to adopt Jacobus and eventually the rest of house Egrativi" - even if my girl isn't a crow, she is marrying into that whole world and she has a thing about making sure orphans find a family, whatever that ends up looking like. Also fun to lean into the Mourn Watcher doing necromancy around outsiders thing. ^⁠_⁠^ )

Rook leaned against the railing, watching Lucanis, Teia, and Viago grow more animated as they conversed in rapid fire Antivan. Crow business, Lucanis had said apologetically before leaving her to her own devices in the balcony above the Cantori Diamond. It probably would have been safe enough for her to head back to the lighthouse on her own, but she knew Lucanis would worry and she was loath to waste what little time the two of them had together.

Well, three of them. Spite was making an effort to be seen, at least by Rook, and it was getting harder to keep a straight face as he stalked behind Viago, alternating between parroting his stern expression and pulling faces at him. How Lucanis was managing to focus on whatever business they were discussing was beyond her.

Movement to the side drew Rook’s eye from the Talons (and demon) to Jacobus, angrily stalking past Rook towards some of the plush chairs on the other landing. Heir was watching him with a long suffering look Rook knew well from her own studies, that of a professor at the end of their rope with a promising but stubborn student. With one last glance at Lucanis and Spite and the conversation in which she understood one word in ten, Rook followed the young assassin. 

Jacobus flopped onto one of the chairs, the grace of his training the only thing saving him from being the poster child of awkward teenage angst and drama. Rook sat down on a chair opposite, smiling at him. “I take it training is going well?”

Jacobus glared at Rook, but without any real heat. “We haven't even touched weapons today. All we've been doing is acting shit.”

“Oh?”

“You must school your expression, Jacobus. Be a mask,” he said, doing a solid impression of Heir. “When you are angry, appear sanguine. When you are flustered, wear confidence. When you know you have them, do not let an early victory cross your face and give away the advantage.” Jacobus grimaced, dropping back to his own voice. “Who cares what my face looks like? My knives send the message they need to send.”

“True,” Rook said, “but Heir’s job is to make sure you're the best you can be. Controlling what kind of information you are giving a target? Especially in a way most people don't think about? That's powerful.”

Jacobus didn't look convinced.

Rook smiled, quirking a brow. “Like right now? Your face is saying ‘Rook, you are full of shit.’ You generally don't want your friends to know when you think they're being stupid.“

Now Jacobus looked away, a slight flush coloring his cheeks. “I don't think you're stupid. I'm just done with sitting around here making faces.”

“Well, if I promise to keep nagging you about your expression, do you think Heir would let you leave for a bit? I have an errand to run in town while Lucanis is occupied and could use some help.”

Jacobus grinned, springing to his feet, his excitement at possibly getting out of the Diamond and away from his training palpable. Rook could see why Heir wanted him to work on controlling his expressions. “Yes, absolutely. What do you need?”

“I need to find a place of unclaimed dead. A burial site. Or a place with a lot of shipwrecks or drownings. I know I've sensed some nearby.”

To his credit, Jacobus did a decent job guarding his expression. Slightly widened eyes and an almost imperceptible step back was fairly neutral as far as such things usually went.

“Now that wasn’t bad. You only look slightly horrified.” Grinning, Rook stood up. “Let's go clear our outing with Heir before the Talons finish their work.”

It didn't take long for Jacobus to lead them over the Crow’s Road to the waterfront in the drowned district. Along the way, Jacobus told Rook some of the stories he'd heard about the area he had chosen, stories of dumped bodies and squatters left to rot in abandoned, half flooded warehouses. Once they were on the ground, Rook took the lead, fade light seeping off her hands to make small dancing lights that guided her towards a likely target while imbuing Rook and the area around her with a diffuse green glow.

Jacobus kept his eyes away from the lights, face set and serious as he scanned the rooftops and alleyways around them. 

Rook glanced back at him. “You alright?”

“Yep,” he answered, a little too quickly. “This isn't creepy at all. I am also not thinking about what the First Talon will do to me If I let anything happen to his whatever-you-are while we're out here.”

Rook laughed. “I can see the worry in your face. Relax your brow and try not to be so obvious about checking every shadow.”

“I'm not going to slack on keeping watch,” he grumped, but Rook noticed he did make an effort to relax his face. “What exactly are you doing anyway?”

“I told you: looking for unclaimed dead.” Rook turned down an alley that ended at a canal, following the guide lights. “I have made contact with a knowledge spirit who is willing to help me with something, but we need a good vessel for it to talk through. It would like to experience the crossroads without fully manifesting outside the Fade. A skull with the right resonance would be the best amplifier while allowing it a presence at the lighthouse. It will essentially be a controlled haunting.”

Jacobus listened, pursing his lips in thought but otherwise keeping any confusion he might have had off his face. “Right. Sure. A skull for a spirit. What is the spirit helping you with?”

Rook kneeled by the edge of the water. “If I'm going to continue being the First Talon’s ‘whatever-I-am,’ I figured I should brush up on my Antivan.” Rook closed her eyes and reached a hand out towards the water, forging a connection with the skull she sensed a couple feet away buried in the silt. She could feel the magic swirling around her, pulling the skull up from the water, and levitating it just over her outstretched hand. She opened her eyes to look it over, glancing at Jacobus to see his reaction.

He was staring, but otherwise calm. “You're doing this for language lessons? Why not just ask Lucanis? Or hire a tutor?”

“I'd like to surprise him. And Knowledge was really excited by the idea. Something about the fascinating dialects and colorful turns of phrase. You know, you are being remarkably sanguine right now, Jacobus.”

Jacobus was leaning towards the skull, reaching out a hand to touch it, all calm curiosity. “Huh?”

“Necromancy makes most people uncomfortable” Rook said, reaching for whatever spark of its previous life still lingered around the skull. 

“Oh. I mean, I trust you. And I'm a Crow. I can handle a dead body or a bit of magic.” Jacobus’ face froze for a moment. “Though now I'm thinking about just how many dead bodies are in the canals and stuff that we don't know about.”

Rook smiled slightly. “Best not to think on that too much.” Rook let the magic around her fade, carefully taking the skull with both hands. “This skull belonged to a fisherman. He fell on hard times when one of the merchant princes negotiated exclusive rights to fish the best spots in the bay. He loved Treviso though and was intensely proud to be Antivan. Whatever the skull remembers of him seems amenable to helping.”

“Do you need it's permission? Like, can't you just make it do stuff with your magic?”

“Yes, but Watchers try to hold ourselves to higher standards.” Rook stood up, carefully wrapping the skull and securing it in her pack. “Imagine what a mortalitasi without such scruples could do in a place like this. Treviso has so many forgotten bones, waiting to dance.”

Jacobus paled slightly, looking back over the canal. “You could just summon skeletons out of the canals?”

Rook caught his eye, keeping her face blank, tilting her chin up slightly, channeling the imperious calm of some of the more intimidating of the senior watchers she had worked with over the years. “An undead army at the snap of my fingers. The stuff of nightmares.” Rook summoned another flare of veilfire, letting it shine from her eyes while small flames flared over the water behind her. “You can't tell if I'm joking or serious right now, can you?”

Jacobus had taken a full step back, hand drifting to one of his knives. “I - wait are you messing with me?”

Rook smiled, letting the veilfire go and waving a hand over her face. “Control your expression and you can control the conversation. See?”

“That's not funny, Rook.”

“But it is effective. Come on, let's get back to the Diamond.” Rook started walking back the way they came. “Besides, I will need someone to practice speaking Antivan with besides Knowledge. If you make a face every time I mess up a verb tense, it's going to be very discouraging.”

“Oh, I'm going make so many faces. Pained, disgusted, horror every time you mess up.”

Rook laughed, looking over her shoulder as she grabbed onto the trellis to climb back above street level. “Perfect. You practice controlling your expressions and I'll practice Antivan and we'll both master something new.”

Rook didn't quite understand the exasperated Antivan phrase Jacobus muttered as he followed her up the trellis, but she was pretty sure she got the gist. 

[dykehelly]

i feel like you’re the best person to ask SO: if i were planning on using dating apps to date women (i am), what are important things to know about bios/swiping and choosing/which apps to use etc? a baby lesbian needs ur help, if u don’t mind

hehehe! so during the past couple years I've only met people on lex and her. her is more of a traditional dating app, just wlw-focused (+nb +the occasional trans man +the occasional very lost cis man), so you swipe through people and see matches etc. lex is more of a general queer community/dating/hookup/event posting situation, where you set your location and radius and age range and then you can see all the posts that have been made within those parameters. I've used this if I'm looking for a specific situation (e.g. my milf hunting posts lol) or if I'm looking for a date at a specific time and want to cast a wide net. I've also made friends on there, had hookups that turned into friendships, found someone to non-sexually tie me up, etc. lol. I know people use hinge and bumble a lot, but I haven't used them.

as far as profiles, a few things I would include (some of these will be in drop-downs probably):

general type of thing you're looking for (casual? see where it goes? long-term relationship?)

whether you're looking for monogamy or polyamory, or open to exploring either (in my experience on her, it's about 50/50 mono/poly)

some reference to being trans positive to deter t*rfs (I believe the her app will ban people if they get too aggressive about their transphobia but there are still people who fly under the radar)

potentially interests or hobbies

this one is totally up to you but I added my like ~desired sexual role~ after a bad experience with a woman who was like. clearly looking for a dom top but did not express that initially. maybe more of a concern for casual dating/hookups tho

try not to make it too too long! also on any platform keep an eye out for bots.

also my biggest tip is that it's SO EASY for conversations to fizzle out on dating apps, so just talk long enough to get the vibe and then propose getting coffee or something as soon as it feels comfortable!

as far as choosing/swiping, I feel like that's very personal but as a rule of thumb just swipe on people who you think are attractive who also have similar relationship goals.

also don't be afraid to bow out if you're not feeling something or if someone makes you feel uncomfortable.

ALSO—my friends had to remind me of this—"not responding to an initial message" is not ghosting, and neither is "letting a brief conversation fizzle out." you don't need to formally withdraw from every conversation.

anyway. have fun!!!! good luck! <3

[yudrein-aile]

Woah just reached the ch where its revealed Keilusa was planning to appoint Kishi as crown prince.... bro.... the usurp and win Civil War before it begins vibes r off the charts

Reading 536 was such a god damn treat for me personally. Like

As he waited for the coughing to subside, Yuder contemplated Emperor Keilusa's true intentions. According to the Empress, the Emperor wants Kishiar to become the Crown Prince. However, if something were to suddenly go wrong—due to hasty action fueled by newfound hope—and the Emperor died prematurely or encountered any issue, then all his plans would be in vain. The same would apply if something happened to Kishiar. 'Considering that, it's not surprising if he finds it more comforting to prepare for a future he can somewhat control and anticipate.'

I’m not sure Katchian can became a threat as he is – too immature, with too many powerful players on the keyboard, but it would be interesting if Keilusa does die now, wouldn’t? All his plans put into motion, only to die—

You can tell how much I’ve been craving a civil war AU for this fandom lol. I suppose I have one fic heading there but that’s a different conversation

That aside, I have been wondering for how long Keilusa has been planning for this and when he informed Faria of his plan. Like, having the child they wanted to become their successor murdered is already horrible, but I don’t think Katchian was terrible from the start. He was fucking fourteen. Fourteen-year-olds are not irredeemable. Was Diarca’s influence to great already? Did Keilusa also think that Katchian was only going to be Diarca’s puppet and that’s why he couldn’t tolerate him?

Or was it simply a question of trusting his brother more?

I tend to put Kishiar’s Awakening as my terminus post quem for Keilusa putting decision into action. While Kishiar's entire condition is obviously not fixed by Awakening, it has stabilized enough that he’s not dying in the next five years, that he’s most certainly going to outlive Keilusa – and outlive him he did! Even in the first timeline, dying bc of the Red Stone injury, he lived approximately a year longer than Keilusa.

But yeah Keilusa wants Kishiar as his heir so badly.

Like in 60 we got

'Kishiar. So, is your vessel still fine?' 'Thanks to your concern, brother, it's perfectly fine.' When they were alone, Kishiar called the emperor 'brother'. Although this was against etiquette, when they were alone, the emperor called him by his real name, not his title, so it was all the same. 'What a pity. If the late empress saw you alive and breathing healthily without any outburst, she would undoubtedly have been so upset that she would have risen from her grave. It's quite regrettable that I can't show her that her most important decision was so wrong.

And in 110 the info that

Originally, the position of the Crown Prince was set to be Kishiar La Orr's. However, about 20 years ago, due to the strong influence of the then Empress, Inella La Orr, at the imperial family meeting, Keilusa La Orr was appointed as the Crown Prince. It is said that the late Emperor and Empress Inella had a major dispute over this issue for several years, and their relationship was not good.

Like, tbh I think that – unlike Kishiar, who I don’t see as ever really considering the throne as a position for himself – Keilusa was very much aware that their father wanted Kishiar to be Crown Prince (or at least, be given more time to pick which one of his sons would inherit the crown) and continues to consider the position Kishiar’s. Not just because Keilusa genuinely has no other heir he approves of, but because he trusts his brother with it. Keilusa is the pettiest bitch being so self-satisfied that his grandmother’s schemes led to nothing, that Kishiar is still well and thriving.

Uh, excuse the off track ramble.

TLDR: god yeah civil war would be fun, don’t think Katchian could pull it off anymore tho.

[lukolabrainrot]

What about Australia people always forget that stop 😂 They were looking so engaged in one of the events it looked like their engagement party. I loved the vibes there what is your opinion on it ?

Ah yes The Land Down Under. I'll say this:

I definitely picked up on some major flirty energy between them, but I wasn't really getting the same nonverbal cues between them that signaled to me emotional connectedness (like the heart eyes) that I got from Verona onwards. ESPECIALLY from N.

I will talk about this more when I analyze N's Polaroid pic, because I have a LOT of thoughts on what was going on between them in April, but essentially, I think L was so much more obvious in Australia about his feelings because he sensed there MIGHT have been a green light from N that they could be more than friends, and he was starting to test the water.

He didn't really get any confirmation from N that those feelings were reciprocated (which I think they actually were), so he goes back to A, the InStyle stunt happens, and then we get the disconnected nonverbal cues from L/N in Milan.

L, being a people pleaser and probably VERY upset that N was upset at him, was (I believe) the one that initiated that he and N needed to talk in Milan. Which I think lead to some BIG conversations about their deep feelings for each other that I think they had needed to have for a while (AND some fun in the sheets 😉)

And that is why I think there was a positive shift in their emotional energy between each other for the rest of the tour (except for the premieres, but I have already talked about my thoughts on that here and here)...

But weren't they so hot here?! 🔥🔥 I loved this dress of hers!! 😍

What were some of your favorite parts of the Australian leg of the tour?