#there Might be something wrong with me

[dimitriblunt]

the more we find out about amphoreus, the more i raise suspicion about anaxa's eidolon names.

more specifically, eidolons 1, 2, 5, and 6.

it wouldn't be incredibly far-fetched either, considering major lore drops regarding the main story have been revealed in characters' eidolons before (aka misha)

so...

anaxa eidolon names analysis post - connecting them to the lore of amphoreus and theorizing anaxa's role

read more under cut! this will be quite a lengthy post, and it deals with some spoilers/leaks (?) (since i'm posting this right before 3.4).

star-concealing moon's magician

as we know, amphoreus is hidden away from the rest of the cosmos - not even akivili could reach it before they had disappeared. the only way we were able to locate it was with the help of black swan, due to multiple presences to that of emanators marking their significance in the garden of recollection's mirror (which is why it drew the garden's attention)

before amphoreus was amphoreus, it was originally an emperor's scepter from the second mechanical emperor war that managed to go undetected, leading it to transform into amphoreus. it's not even a planet, it's merely a transformed doomsday scepter.

what is a scepter? scepters were created by rubert II during the second mechanical emperor war - they imitate nous, the aeon of erudition, meaning they literally have a similar livelihood of an aeon. scepters are said to be as large as planets - the scepter that amphoreus has evolved upon is being used as something akin to an incubator for an unknown lord ravager's birth, explained by herta and screwllum at the end of 3.3. considering lord ravagers are emanators of nanook, this is likely one of the reasons it managed to be detected by the garden's mirror - however, there is multiple presences equal to that of emanators on amphoreus.

scepters cannot question lifeforms, as rubert II's goal was to push ALL beings to being perfect, while pushing them under his control. this is (somewhat) different from rubert I's goal during the first mechanical emperor's war; rubert I's goal was to eliminate all organic lifeforms, as he viewed them as full of errors, leading him to create the anti-organic equation and anti-organic mind virus, which would gain him the recognition of nous themself, making rubert I the 27th member of the genius society.

i highly recommend learning all the mechanical emperor war lore, seeing as it's finally making its relevance through the main story. all simulated universe expansions happen in chronological order; swarm disaster happened first in the timeline, then gold and gears, then unknowable domain. and if you didn't know, nanook is younger than ALL of these events. they ascended to aeonhood from adlivun, a planet that had been affected by the swarm disaster and BOTH mechanical wars caused by rubert I and rubert II - akivili had visited that planet because of the damage it had been dealt from the events mentioned previously.

anaxa is a su variant. there are so many parallels and similarities between them that i wouldn't even be able to fit all the DESIGN similarities with them in separate images due to tumblr dot com's limit. that's not even including their lore/story parallels.

why do i mention this? because we're going back to the second key manhua again. (which focuses on su)

during su and kevin's fight within the seed of sumeru, su activates the first power of the second key, which would sink the bubble universe down into the sea of quanta, effectively sealing away him and kevin for A Long Time.

however, kevin senses that the portal isn't completely open yet, so he readies the judgment of shamash to destroy it before it does.

su, in all his savior complex glory, steps between the tree and kevin, using his own body as an obstacle kevin would have to get through first. he knew full well he was no match for kevin, yet was still willing to give up his life in order for stigma to not be initiated.

right before it hits su, kevin freezes the judgment of shamash - so he wouldn't kill him. (THEY MAKE ME SO INCREDIBLY ILL. you can't deny that they love each other in some way or another..... sorry back on topic now those were my kevsuisms slipping through)

kevin grabs su and throws him out of the bubble universe, so it would only be him sinking into the sea of quanta and not su as well. he had told su to continue with valuka; observing parallel universes.

taking all this into consideration and the fact that this is honkai, it's entirely possible that anaxa had something to do with the concealing of amphoreus - some inverted horizon hsr equivalent.

it's been considered that erudition and remembrance are what is hiding amphoreus from the rest of the cosmos, which can bring us back to the bug theory, leading us to cyrene and anaxa - cyrene who is an elysia variant and anaxa who is a su variant. two people who play major roles alongside kevin in hi3's story; phainon being a kevin variant. (his real name is even khaslana. ((which. i laughed. why is there an H)) you can't deny he's a kevin variant)

amphoreus being an incubator, a simulation in which a new lord ravager emerges from... it always begins with erudition (the undetected scepter) and ends with destruction (lord ravagers), with remembrance looming over head.

su, despite hating sacrifice, IS self-sacrificial. anaxa, too, is SO self-sacrificial.

star concealing moon; if anaxa is the star, and phainon is the sun set to die and the moon set to rise, then the star shields them. a moon at the center, with the stars around them to protect them.

true history's natural person

anaxa is the only one amongst the chrysos heirs with a name based on a real person; anaxagoras, a greek philosopher, who was known to have created the concept of nous.

the rest of the chrysos heirs have names based on/taken inspiration from greek mythology or derived from greek or latin words (e.g. castorice and pollux deriving from the ancient greek deities castor and pollux, aglaea taken from one of the three charities goddesses, cifera being the latin word for cipher)

i find this particularly eyebrow-raising considering the name of this eidolon, the fact that we have nous, the aeon of erudition, the concept of nous being founded by the real-life anaxagoras, and anaxa naming his school "nousporists", along with the fact that erudition itself is intricately linked to amphoreus as one of its three paths.

along with that, we also have the theory that anaxa could possibly be zandar one kuwabara, aka the founder and first member of the genius society and the creator and emanator of nous, the aeon erudition.

zandar founded the cosmos tree theory; in this theory, he proposes that different and various worlds exist within different timelines in space through the imaginary tree. however, only aeons that draw their power from the imaginary and emanators who are blessed by said aeons are able to travel through the branches. through the imaginary tree, these worlds and spaces are connected.

zandar's status is unknown currently - we do not know whether he is alive or deceased. with the anaxa-zandar theory, it's theorized that zandar could have possibly traversed through one of the imaginary tree branches, leading to amphoreus, not knowing it would soon break off of the main body - thus his consciousness either merged with anaxa's or he reincarnated as anaxa, losing all memory of who he was previously... except for nous.

considering anaxa named his school the "nousporists," and while it's very likely, it could do with the concept of nous created by the real-life anaxagoras, since the concpet of nous explains the princples of mind and intellect that set the universe into motion, and nousporism is the study of souls... there is still a possibility of the "nous" part coming from nous, the aeon of erudition, as perhaps he remembered his creation. not to mention the name zandar being of greek origin.

in 3.2, anaxa's entire arc in the story was him uncovering the fundamental cycle system of amphoreus, and how in each cycle, the chrysos heirs of the previous era reincarnate into the titans of the present era. his objective was proven correct with the help of castorice, whom he helped her with her own objective as well.

HOWEVER. unlike any of the other chrysos heirs who we've seen thus far, anaxa is one of the only ones whose lore/backstory is NOT directly explained through the main story. we actually hardly know anything personal about him other than "yeah, he had a sister and mentor who are both now deceased and also really likes dromases."

the way his character stories are written, they're all told in forms of media that are on the verge of being lost or destroyed. and because so many disdain him, there are very few people who have actually come to understand him As Him, and not the fool or blasphemer he's labeled to be.

we didn't even get a glimpse of his sister, unlike with other chrysos heirs like mydei, tribios, or hyacine who we DID see relatives and their stories from in the main quests. his mentor only appeared once or twice in flashbacks as well.

embryo beyond the centrifugal spiral

amphoreus is a giant incubator. a birthing ground.

what is an embryo? the early development stage of a multicellular organism. this stage comes before the fetus.

and what does centrifugal mean? it basically means moving away from the center of something.

embryo beyond the centrifugal spiral. hopefully you already have a hunch as to where im going with this.

first, let's go back to the mechanical emperor war, someone who played a vital part in ending BOTH of the wars: polka kakamond.

she killed both ruberts with just her scalpel, ending both wars and making one of nous' said three prophecies (which have all already happened) come true - the end of rubert I.

polka targets and kills people who are close to the borders of the circle of knowledge; the circle of knowledge is a concept that bases someone's knowledge and likens it to a circle. the greater the knowledge someone has, the bigger the circle is - there exists unknowns beyond this.

polka believes that expanding the circle will eventually lead to the finality when the universe meets its end, thus why she's killed fellow genius society members and gained the name the "lord of silence".

taking the concept of the circle of knowledge, if we were to liken the spiral in anaxa's eidolon name to a circle of knowledge, and anaxa as the embryo - then he's beyond the borders already.

and guess what? we're once again going back to the second key manhua.

at the end of the second key manhua, we see su die physically within the bubble universe, and then end up in a void space with a giant chess board and an unknown voice talking to him.

like i have mentioned multiple times before, anaxa is a su variant.

within anaxa's gameplay animations, his ultimate not only shows us a giant tree (which could possibly be a callback to the seed of sumeru OR a reference to the imaginary tree), but also a blue void-space very similar looking to the one su ended up in.

along with that, his body is practically a void. he has the star shaped blue-void in his chest and a void in where his left eye used to be.

and we know this wasn't always the case with his body, considering he's drawn blood from himself multiple times for his alchemical research and conducted that alchemy experiment in which he removed and sacrificed his left eye to be able to see his sister for one last time. with the new BP lightcone coming in 3.4, we clearly see the blood dripping down his arm as he puts pressure on his eye socket.

anaxa is beyond the circle already, much like how su had discovered that "that place" truly did exist.

all things are within everything

remembrance and erudition, the concept of nous, the study of souls and alchemy. to save a memory inside a lightcone with memoria and the process of alchemy, to anaxa, is to basically tamper with memoria.

another parallel with su, anaxa's e6 looks similar to when su had cradled a leaf to his chest in his last moments - that leaf contained the memories of him and kevin in their high school days. plus, his body is cracking, which could indicate that he's dying - like su was.

what he's cradling in his e6 is unknown; however, i'm thinking it's something similar to the leaves within the seed of sumeru.

in 3.2, before anaxa rips the reason coreflame out of his chest and dies, he talks with the others and says his goodbyes.

most notably with phainon, who he says he'll find a way to retrieve his memories of his past life in the next era (when they're all titans), and that even if he couldn't, he would count on phainon to remember it for him and tell him. phainon promises him to lead everyone to their reunion in the next life.

"all things are within everything"; perhaps that golden light he's holding contains his memories or the truth of amphoreus, taking into account my theory of him already being beyond the circle boundaries.

to make another connection between them, su had only died PHYSICALLY.

in the morning starlight event, day 6, anaxa is one of the featured characters you're able to use. the stage effect for this makes the characters enter a state called "feigned death."

what does feigned mean? simulate or pretend.

a false death, in this context.

"but that's just an event mechanic!" true, but it wouldn't be the first time hoyo has dropped lore hints and spoilers within events of all places.

so it raises the question for me, did anaxa die only physically, within the simulation?

[deardev0teddelicate]

cricket's song |

jmxafab!reader

Pairing: tlou2!joel miller x afab!reader

The crickets that would sing for him now sing for you.

WC: 1.4K

Warnings: no use of y/n, afab!reader, established relationship, major character death, angst, depictions of depression, hurt with not very much comfort, tommy is a sweetheart, spoilers for tlou2 for people who don't know what happens

Author's Note: so iiiiiii watched one too many ethel cain tlou edits and i got sad and yes i know that the song Hard Times is about.....well not this..... but that one line, just gets me every time. let me be sad in peace

also apologies for it not being 100% cannonical, i decided to take creative liberties....will likely edit this when tlou season 2 releases in it's entirety.

My whole blog is MDNI, so 18+ only. Thank you!

You laid there. Alone.

In his room.

The curtains hadn't been opened, leaving you in an incessant darkness. Nothing in the room had been moved—had been touched—save for your body in his bed. The sheets stilled smelled like him, leather and pine, even under the settlement of dust that built up the past few weeks, disturbed only when you'd trudge to the bathroom every so often.

Getting up was hard. Harder than waking up on the rough dirt of a random forest. Harder than getting up from the cold wood of the overcrowded apartments in the QZs. Sliding from the mattress you once shared with him, you'd sink to the floor. Some days, you could muster up the strength to stand, stretching your practically atrophied muscles with effort. Other days, you'd stay on the floor, staring at the marbled knots of the wooden walls, only crawling to the bathroom when you absolutely needed to.

If your past self saw you now, you'd think of yourself as pathetic. But now… without him… you couldn't bring yourself to care.

Your vanity mirror, that he built for your birthday, faced the bed mocking you. Every so often, you'd catch a glimpse of yourself. Your hair was matted, face blotchy with tears and sweat that drenched you at night. Your cheeks sunk in from lack of food intake, and your eyes… Once your eyes were full of life. He always said how much he loved your eyes. How they would crinkle when you smiled ear to ear, and how they would glisten with adoration when you would look at him.

There was nothing now. Nothing, but the cold dead that lie behind your eyes.

The home you shared together, was once full of life too. Some old record you and him found on some patrol would be playing softly; your loved ones—Ellie, Dina, Tommy, Maria—would come over to exchange laughter and stories; whispers of shared devotion; crickets singing…

Since that night, no music filled within the walls of your home. Since that night, Tommy and Ellie would stop by sometimes; try to coax you from the self imposed prison of your mind, coax you to leave the room. They would leave food, leave water, but it was useless. Even looking at them was too agonizing, too much of a reminder. You could see him in both of them, could see the man you love in their eyes, in their movements, could hear him in their words. You could hear his speaking patterns, his words, his accent. You wanted to hear him, though.

Even the crickets you once found so bothersome had left without a trace.

What you would give for them to come back.

What you would give for him to come back. What you would give to get the man that you loved back in your arms.

The man you love. Loved?

A choked sob bubbled from your throat, your head suddenly feeling as though it was about to implode. Air caught in your chest, tears streamed from your eyes in distress.

You could never stop loving him, the man who was intrinsically tied to your very being. How could he—

He paid his dues. He accounted and made up for every sin he racked up. He…He was the good guy. With you at his side, you were the good guys.

Good guys were supposed to be the happy ones, no? That's how it goes in the stories. How it would always go in the stories he'd tell you at night when you couldn't fall back asleep after a nightmare. How it would always go in the stories you would tell Ellie over those long cold nights by the fire.

You were the good guys.

So why did…why did happiness die with him?

He didn't deserve to…to die. He deserved to live the rest of his life out in Jackson. He deserved more family dinners with his brother and sister-in-law. He still had so much he wanted to teach Ellie. He planned to propose to you.

Ellie found the ring with a folded piece of paper, in his jacket pocket. She gave both, the ring and the paper, to you. It was a thin band of gold, an inscription of yours and his initials in the inside. When you first held the ring in your hand, it felt like ten tons were dropped on you. You had to rush to the bathroom to remove the contents of your stomach.

To this day, the folded piece of paper rested on the vanity, unopened. You couldn't bring yourself to look inside of it. So it sat there, patiently waiting for you. Ellie had asked if you wanted her to read it. You whispered a soft 'no', not breaking your stare from the nothingness it focused on, hands folded into your chest, the gold band glinting on your left ring finger.

The moon rose and fell, till eventually, one night Tommy came with a plate food in his hands. He sighed, seeing you in the same spot he found you in that morning. He noticed your hair was stuck to your face. You must have been crying again.

"Hey, kid," he placed the plate on the side table. Your unfocused gaze remained on the wall, not showing any sign of you noticing the feeling of Tommy sitting down next to you. "Brought you some dinner."

You didn't respond.

"I, uh, I was thinkin', kid. You haven't left the house, and, well, I—geeze, kid," he took in a deep breath, waiting to collect his thoughts. "We picked out a plot for Joel. I thought I'd ask if you wanted to…wanted to see his final resting place. You could get some fresh air, get outta the house. Might do you good."

His name made your heart seize and your throat close up.

But Tommy was right. Logically, you knew that leaving the house would do you good. What you didn't know, was if you even could.

You slowly looked over your shoulder, and hope flooded Tommy's chest. It was the largest reaction he'd seen from you. To know that you were more than just a corpse rotting and wasting away gave him more relief than he ever would've thought a simple turn of the head would give him.

"Okay," you rasped.

Tommy was patient with you; helping you out of bed, picking out clean clothes, letting you lean on him while you walked through the moon lit town. Before you were even out the door, exhaustion gnawed at your bones and muscles. But you silently swore to yourself that you were going to make it all the way to him.

Walking over the uneven patches of dirt and grass in the graveyard, your weak grip on Tommy squeezed slightly. And then you saw it. Tears clouded your vision as the simple tombstone came to view. Tommy walked you all the way to the grave, his arms not leaving you till you fell to the ground.

Sobs wracked your body as you folded in on yourself over the Earth that now consumed him.

He was gone. He was gone and he wasn't coming back. He wasn't going to be able to live out the rest of his life in peace, not like he had wanted. He wasn't going to be able to finish the book that sat on the night stand. He wasn't going to be able to finish the carved wooden horse that sat on his work bench.

It was just so unfair.

"Joel, why did you go?" You whispered to the Earth, looking unable to glance at the tombstone that had his name etched in. "Why did you go? I can't—"

You cut yourself off, weeping in the moonlight. Despite the ache that burned in your chest, the night was clear and peaceful. The kind of night that would lead Joel to the porch, dragging you with him, to look at the stars. You looked up at them now, "I'll cherish every waking moment I had with you, and I'll mourn every moment we'll never get."

You tears had slowed, your breathing becoming longer. As time ticked by, the air around you felt warmer, calmer. It was…familiar, even.

Weeks of tension dissipated from your body, and your heart rate steadied. For the first time since Joel had died, you became aware of your surroundings. Of yourself.

You knew Joel was with you, knew he was loving you from beyond. You knew.

You knew, because all around you, you could hear the crickets sing. Just like they did for him.

[chromateded]

Show yourself…

I know you’re watching me….

Show yourself…

But then it’s just Athena’s Corpse in quick thought and she’s dying a very painful death and her last words are: “Warrior of the miiiind”

[churmandurr]

I can't help but only take pics of him covered in blood.

[your--average-pjo-fan]

Thalia is so real for this

[justkillingthyme]

If I was a small animal I would be very easy to trap because all you have to do is place a low resolution png of Clark Triton inside and I would go for it

[girl-hwat]

rip BIG SHOT animation meme, troy lougferd is made for you

[gorewound]

Terrifier 3 was somehow both one of the grossest things I've ever seen in my life and also significantly less gross than I expected it to be.

I am hyped for the potential sequel

[shotgun-fucker]

Computer is it weird to find images of software and video game corruptions like. Sexy as hell??

[localdiscountgoth]

sometimes i wish i was a fictional character because i want to read a character analysis about me

[gretagator]

I have a disease (putting cat ears on Chuck McGill)

[thedeafprophet]

So many people mad at the manager for the bloody wallpaper

Meanwhile. I thought it was hot.

[the-ghost-fangirl]

I love how friend shaped Neelix is

This strange little man is my skrunkly little man and he’s never done anything wrong (post season two that is…)

[omjitskailay]

The Cask of What's-His-Face

I still don’t know why I did it. I’ve tried to think of one plausible explanation, one good reason, but I come up empty. There is absolutely no explanation for my actions. Why did Montresor seal Fortunato into the cellar? I have no better excuse.

I drive a small car. I would tell you what kind of car it is, but that’s not important. What’s important about it is that it is a small car, but it has a moderately sized trunk. That is important.

I was driving in the city. I don’t usually go through the city, but that day I needed to stop at the dry cleaners, so I went through the city. You always see a few homeless people, sleeping on benches, sitting on street corners. I always feel a flash of sympathy; I’m not a bad person. I never give them money though, I can’t justify it because I know they’ll just buy drugs.

It was his bright blue coat that made him stand out. An old, wrinkly guy, shuffling out of an alley. I was driving by the alley, slowing for a red light, when his bright blue coat caught my eye. There was no reason for me to turn right at the alley instead of the light, but I did. So sue me. I didn’t hit him or anything. I turned into the alley just as the homeless dude came out of it, so he was right next to my car.

It was a warm day, my windows were rolled down. I looked out, looked him in the eye, and said hey. He told me hay was for horses, which is a little rude, but it’s not what made me do it. I swear, it wasn’t out of spite. There was no motive behind it. I could plead temporary insanity, but I wasn’t insane, temporarily or otherwise. I just did it.

Can you climb in my trunk? I said. I don’t know why I said it, the thought just popped into my head right then. I got out of the car, walked around to it, and popped the trunk. He just stood there looking at me. He probably thought I was crazy. I mean, I wasn’t working hard to convince him otherwise. 

I got out my wallet and fished out a $20 bill. I’ll give this to you if you just climb in my trunk, I said. I just need to know if you fit, and I don’t want to do it, I said. It was a weak explanation, but I hadn’t planned this in advance. Give me a break. 

We stared at each other a while, then he shrugged, and climbed in the trunk. Like I said, it was a moderately sized trunk, so he fit just fine.

 I’m not one to go back on my promises, so handed him the twenty and slammed the door of the trunk. My car was still running, so I just hopped back in and reversed out of the alley.

I could hear him while I was driving. He was strong for such a weak looking old man. He banged and thumped against the back, and against the door, but neither would give. He must have looked for a hidden latch, but there was none there that I know of. 

I could have stopped driving at any time, let him out, said just kidding and gave him some money. He could report me, but who would believe him over a pretty, young girl. I’m a great liar.

But no, I just drove home, to my empty little apartment. I ate my microwave chicken dinner, watched Real Housewives, and thought about the man in my trunk. It didn’t disturb me. I didn’t try to avoid thinking about it or pretend it wasn’t real. It didn't even affect my appetite. The chicken dinner was delicious.

In the morning, I drove to work. He must have fallen asleep, because as soon as I started the car, the pounding started again. He’d been screaming the day before, but the combination of shredded vocal chords and dehydration meant that he was barely audible today. His punches also seemed a bit weaker.

I parked in my normal spot at work. If anyone had stood next to my car and listened, they would have heard an angry and frightened man asking to be let out of my trunk. But who just stands still and listens in a parking lot? Nobody, that’s who.

At about midday, I glanced at the thermometer. The sun was out, and it was the middle of May. The temperature was climbing. I went back to my work.

On the way home, I heard some rustling coming from the trunk, but that was it. I spent that evening the same as the one before. I’m not one to deviate from my routines without good reason. 

That night, Survivor was on. It made me think about the old 3-3-3 rule. 3 minutes with no air, 3 days with no water, 3 weeks without food. Then the system shuts down and can’t be rebooted. It was warm in my apartment, so I turned on the AC and I enjoyed my microwave chicken with a renewed appetite.

The next day was Saturday, so I didn’t go to work, I went shopping with friends. One of them picked me up, so I had no need to start the car. They asked me about my week. Have you met anyone yet, they ask? I say no. And it’s true, I don’t know his name.

On Sundays, I sleep. My mother would be ashamed if she knew I didn’t go to church, but what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her. That Sunday, I woke up at noon and watched more tv. Nothing good was on. I wished something interesting would happen to me, like getting a surprise package in the mail, or getting a phone call saying I had won the lottery.

On Monday I rushed out the door. I wanted to check in the morning, but I was already late for work, so I waited until I got home that afternoon. Nobody was around, so I popped the trunk. He looked so peaceful, other than the bloody fingernails. There wasn’t anything else to do, so I closed the trunk again. 

If someone asks, I don’t know how he got in there. My fingerprints aren’t on him, so I clearly didn’t force him. Hear anything? No, I always play loud music in my car. Sorry officer, I don’t know how this could have happened.

I still don’t know why I did it. I ask myself sometimes. Was it some kind of urge? Do I have an itch that needs scratching? I haven’t done anything like it since. Maybe one day I’ll wake up and feel guilty, or maybe someday I’ll wake up and do it again. Who can say? Not me.

[ladyofthebookcase]

so goated to be in rubicon and actually be hearing the rubicon threat theme. i will NEVERRRRR get over them not using it in the base game

[excitedtoramble]

It’s been so long!! I’m back with the inked version of my last sketch :P!!!!

Notice how there’s two signatures? It’s bc my friends the one that took a mid artwork into this beautiful work 😻😻

Everyone say thanks to @sillylittlefishy ‼️‼️

They literally did the heavy lifting just bc they wanted to, and they’re such a great artist!

DOOMED YURI GO CRAZY 😝