#there's no objective measure for defining How much something needs to Be in order to be Real

[braintapes]

I think one reason I love dreams so much and find them so deeply fascinating is their utterly nonsensical yet very internally consistent logic. Everything makes sense in a dream, regardless of if it'd make sense in the waking world. For me, there's a very consistent set of rules and mechanics regarding place, people, etc. I understand in an intuitive almost muscle memory kind of way what's going to happen and what I can do to affect my surroundings.

It's stream of consciousness, of course, how things play out, but I can usually wake up and look back, analyze and understand why certain things cropped up or took the forms they took. It makes sense in a way many things in waking life don't. Is interesting in a different sort of way than the usual daily routine.

When I accepted that the shit floating around my subconscious as like, random Stuff from the pool of accumulated experiences, knowledge, memory, etc. that could be assembled and played with in infinite variety..That's when I really started to enjoy the nightly routine. I get to have an adventure every night! Anything could happen!! Ideas and concepts of basic things can be distorted and viewed through all kinds of fantastical lenses! An entire section of brain which is an eternal well of creative potential...Much of which needs conscious refinement to be anything of Good Substance of course. But the possibilities themselves are exciting to think about !!

Dreams also feel, in a very sensory but also memory kind of way, much more real to me. It's easier for me to remember a given dream than what I did in any given day of the past week. The absurdities help the memories stand out, but the chain of logic is consistent enough that it's easier to recall the progression of point a -> point b than, like, what I decided to eat for dinner on, idk, Tuesday. I don't even know how many days ago Tuesday was off the top of my head. But I still vividly remember random dreams I had from 2 years ago like I had em this morning.

[talenlee]

What Is Truth (in game worldbuilding)

The question to start with: How do you present information as truthful in your world?

Okay, there’s a lot going on here, and it involves defining in order to get some specificity. The principles might be universalisable but I sure ain’t gunna pull it off here. This is primarily considering world-building for a game, and not the world-building for a conventional narrative explanation like a story or web serial or whatnot. Those are worlds where you can, amongst other things, go back in time and change the setup you have for the story you want.

And you should.

That’s what editing is.

But in the making of a world for a game, you have to make a way for people to interact with a playful space that gives them boundaries and things to interact with (that are cool and fun or ‘engaging’ if you want to be technical) and that means you need to confer the reality to these players in ways that you, the person building the world, may struggle with depicting.

The task of depicting truth is different in storytelling for a conventional narrative and for a game. Particularly, games have an interface layer that typically speaking, players have to have some reason to believe they can trust, and the job of the interface is to serve as a window between the reality of the game (ie, you are a player interacting with a playful device) and the fiction of the game (there are fuckin DRAGONS man).

See, one of the easiest ways to convey ‘true’ things to your players is to describe ideas in an entirely objective sense. This is this, this is that, and then you use objective measurements as much as you can, in the objective voice of a narrator. This is fine, this works out just okay, and I don’t want you to feel bad in any way about doing this this way, but when you present information like that, you have presented that information as reliable. That creates a sense of trust which you then can just poop down your leg when you have to explain that something you told them isn’t true.

Obviously you can be okay with this, I mean it doesn’t matter if a Metroidvania videogame has to indicate that an early message log was a lie. It needs to be done with a bit of care though because say, if a game opens by telling you that you’re using a stun gun to knock people out through the whole game, and then reveals, shock horror, that actually it’s a murder gun that has been knocking people into death with kill bullets, then the result isn’t going to be a player feeling an emotional distress at the realisation that they were doing something wrong because they trusted the wrong person, you’re going to have a player rejecting the experience, falling out of the fiction and going: this is bullshit.

(Because it is bullshit.)

I think on this because I think about how I present information from Cobrin’Seil. Cobrin’Seil is a D&D setting. It’s meant to be made for people to play in in a setting that is primarily mechanically oriented, where the world can be represented by reasonably reliably systems. Wizards in the top of the world and the bottom of the world can both cast spells that are similar and those spells may work differently under the hood, within the fiction, but are still reasonably coherently reliable things. The same is true that the followers of a death god can heal people with spells that may look entirely different to the spells of a god of the harvest but in the end, the people experiencing the outcome still wind up healed.

I think that the world of Cobrin’Seil is more interesting and more rewarding to write about if there is a strict delineation between the concrete and reliable — rules information — and the social and communicated — things people talk about in the world. That is to say, if you need to roll a few d6 or d8s for a thing, that’s rules information, segregated, and, thanks to 4th edition’s excellent trade dress (the way the books are designed to look) we have a good standardised way to express that. But if you want to know about the world, the things in the world and the way they relate to one another, then that’s where you talk to people and people have biases, and all the information presented in the world is presented as if it is being told to you by a person.

When I’m discussing the world of Cobrin’Seil, then, I know that it’s easy to state questions from a near-objective narrative position, but to deliver answers it should always have an attribution, a source. That source then gets to be someone potentially wrong, and to bring in their own biases and their own opinions.

I know that in Cobrin’Seil, I am biased towards presenting wizards who study things and write things down as a useful source of studyable information. I also know I don’t necessarily verify that information or make it widespread. Sometimes I like that because there are some things I want to be objectively true. For example: Wizards can prove that racism is based on nothing meaningfully true. On the other hand, that doesn’t mean people don’t believe in racism or engage in it, but that there is some objective authority in the universe that can say ‘look, this is a social system that sucks, and ‘detect racism’ spells won’t work.’

Otherwise, though? Things like how magic works? What gods can do? How fairies can manipulate reality? That stuff is all competing theories, maybes, possibilities, and I try to make sure it’s always at least three competing theories.

That bias remains, though, right? And it stands to reason, I, a person working in academia who is working on higher education, would likely see the advantages to and potential authority of a system like that. But that also demonstrates something of my biases towards, you know, things being written down. I could have it so that there are shamanic songs and lyrical poetry that carry important narratives of truth… except I’m not good at writing those, so I don’t.

This is what you need to be mindful of. There are ways to represent what’s ‘true’ in your worldbuilding, in the information you present to people, but you need to also be mindful of your biases. You need to maintain a sense of truth that players can engage with and you need to be mindful of where it’s okay to lie to them.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[thejackofalltrades42069]

Avoiding having a random life.

I’m back. I promise I’ll write a shorter post someday, in my mind this post was like 4 times shorter.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Intro.

I had been thinking for some time about how contradictory we are, a lot of times we think something, or have some sort of “philosophy”, but when it comes to actually doing things, we often do things that are completely opposite to what we preach or completely different from what we believe are our values or our philosophies.

To a certain degree this is completely normal and we could even say it’s intrinsic to human beings, BUT, this could be pretty bad if it’s done too much because, if for example I’m thinking in a certain way and then acting the opposite way all the time, maybe I’m acting unconsciously too much, and that’s not good (because I’m messing up my own plans all the time).

Maybe I have an objective like saving money, I suggest other people to save money, and I say I’m saving money, but I end up going out every weekend and spending it all in fancy dinners, alcohol, and ordering things online.

As Rachel said in Batman Begins, “But it’s not who you are underneath, it’s what you do that defines you”, this is completely true, you can think of things you believe and things you value, but if you don’t act accordingly, then, you’re just behaving randomly.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ideas to fight this.

Perhaps a lot of times it’s not enough to just be aware of things, to read things, to talk to a therapist or other people, because even if we are skilled or know certain information, as humans, we have certain tendencies, and we’re biased by our environment way too much, so we end up doing what people around us (and in social media) are doing.

As Rah’s al Ghul said in Batman Begins, “The training is nothing, will is everything, the will to act.” If we don’t take action with our lives, we’re not doing much, we’re just existing (that’s not necessarily a bad thing for everyone), even if we’re knowledgeable or if we’re trained, it’s easy to remain in “inaction”.

It’s completely necessary to take practical measures to change our biases in a positive way so we can improve ourselves and stop behaving randomly as our emotions dictate in that moment, if we always act as our emotions dictate at the time being, we take many bad decisions very often (like buying a bunch of stuff online that we don’t need, like behaving in a shitty way to a friend).

Perhaps a good place to start with is learning information, but that information needs to be taken to practice, and it needs to be followed up, by reading more, and by applying it to our lives and sticking to doing it at least for a month so a habit can be created. After that, we need to always give some sort of follow up, by consuming useful information, and by forcing us to make some practical changes.

Example: we can do a schedule for activities, and really do them, say you want to exercise because you sit on your butt all day, find the best time in the day, force yourself to exercise even if it’s just 30 minutes. Use sticky notes or whatever, wake up earlier, or force yourself to do it right after work or school

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Don’t do random stuff all your life.

These ideas lead to my next topic I’ve been thinking a lot recently; most people just do random actions all their lives until they die (not that there’s something wrong about it, but I can’t live like that myself).

To clarify and give examples:

When people don’t have a clear objective about what they want in life, they end up doing a bunch of senseless and random things like having a completely awful job for years and keep working there because they think they’re making a lot of money and they think they need to have a certain lifestyle, but, that could lead to a totally stressful and meaningless life.

Another example is how many people don’t have a clear idea of how a love relationship should function in the long term, some don’t even know what to expect from a relationship. Others have wild unrealistic ideas of how relationships should be, so most people end up breaking up all the time because they have a very poor management or unrealistic expectations of the relationship. This info needs to be learned, not just through experience, but also, through books, podcasts, through other people like therapists, friends, and so on.

A lot of other examples come to mind, like how so many people just spend all weekends getting drunk and being hangover, or how they spend the little money they have in fancy meals and in fancy clothes. We tend to do what others around us do, but, is that really what you want to be doing? Do you really enjoy that? Is there any meaning or future in doing that? Asking many questions like these can help find an answer, the answer will be different for everyone.

Anyhow, the way I think we can counter this random lifestyle is, knowing what we want (something realistic), and with baby steps, walking toward that goal.

If you don’t really know what you want out of life, you can start with small goals, achieving one, then the next, for example, you want to continue learning Spanish but you don’t have a lot of time, well, set a schedule and get an easy app for language learning like Busuu or Duolingo, find the best time to do it 15 minutes, and really do it, and, don’t worry if you skip a day or two, but be consistent, avoid other social media so you have the energy, take the time to do it even more in your holidays.

To provide a real example for a larger goal:

When I was 18 I was taking a French class, a guy asked another guy how come he was taking a full time French class and not working, he replied that he saved money, he said that since he was a lot younger, when his parents gave him money, he would put away some of that money, when he worked he always put away money, by the time he was taking the class he could quit for some months because he had a bunch of money saved (not the case for everyone I know, but a lot of people who can save money just spend it however they can). After I heard that guy I thought that was real smart, when I started working I would always save money, just in case I wanted to quit or in case I wanted to buy whatever or travel, over the years I accumulated a bunch of money and I thought, “huh, I could buy a house eventually”, I kept saving money for about other 5 years with that house in mind, and after about a total of 10 years guess what, I just bought a house with my girlfriend a couple months ago, thanks to my savings it’s a nice location, a nice hose, and a small mortgage (now I’m very poor, though).

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Conclusion.

My goal changed through the years, but the fact remains that I achieved a great thing because I kept saving money, it would be the same case with other goals, we just need to take small steps toward those goals, learn useful information that can guide us, do some trial and error, and so on. Even if our main goal in life changes, it’s a lot easier when we have a solid foundation of knowledge and practical skills, it’s always good to keep learning a few things here and there and taking action (beware of being too passive, but do things progressively, don’t go insane).

And, as a personal note, don’t overwork yourself and don’t try to have huge and unlikely goals, many people end up very badly when they want to achieve something that’s too great (perhaps I’ll write about this next).

[awarenessaslove]

Everything that can be created & manifested has already been created & manifested. So to say that you’re creating & manifesting something is not technically accurate because the outcome already exists in our infinite universe. The only manifestation non-secret is that nothing is ever separate from you. To say you need to manifest means in your reality, you are separate from all else. You can say manifestation principles are a “reality” of the universe but it’s only a reality for someone who is separate inside. For those who aren’t separate inside, there is no manifestation because there is no other. The current manifestation teaching is, if you want to be rich (it’s always about money, by the way, isn’t it), you need to feel as if you’re already rich. You cannot feel that you’re poor. Then, money will arrive as if by magic. This is all cut-up-ness. All separation. In a state of unity consciousness, there is no separation. This means, there is no need to feel rich nor not poor. The consciousness state already includes all. Incidentally, this is why there’s no need to feel loving or positive in a state of consciousness. Your every one moment includes ALL. This is why I call consciousness as Infinite Awareness Without Thought. It’s infinite in that it includes all. It’s without thought in that you don’t get to cherry pick what you want to include or exclude. So if a conscious person is already in a state that includes all possibilities, how do they become rich? This is the biggest no-duh that I can tell you but I have to point out that what I’m about to say escapes spiritual people. To be rich, you just need to learn how to make money and execute it well. Like almost everybody else in the world. When a person changes to living from consciousness, constructs or “laws” such as manifestation will seem incomprehensible, nonsensical, unfathomable. One would need to descend into a state of separation and psychological clog to be able to fathom manifestation laws because the equation for manifestation is as such: Person A has a desire for Object B due to a perceived lack of Object B. Person A takes action to affirm the lack of Object B, then either delivery or non-delivery of Object B occurs depending on numerous possible outcomes that can be unrelated to Person A’s desire and actions. Not only this, but supposedly, some nameless being or a universe customer service department is going to review your manifestation order, determine that it can’t fulfill your order, then send you something “better”—because spiritual people tell us that when you place your order, you need to leave a note for customer service that you are to get exactly what you asked for or better. Only a state of total cut-up-ness can fathom this and perceive it as reality, a system, or a law. The universe always looks different depending on where we are standing. If you’re facing West, that house is to your left. If you’re facing East, that house is now to your right. People try to define the universe without realizing they can only measure it with the tools they have. If they only have a ruler, everything they measure produces an answer only a ruler can produce. When we study the answers which came from other people’s rulers, that leads students to believe those answers are reality. From a healing approach, any construct or universal law you hold on to is a block against healing. We don’t heal what our minds want to protect. When you choose to give up this construct but not that, this makes your healing only partial. Complete healing asks that we give up all. Then, anything meant for you withstands the destruction of true healing. It ends up being very little. But that little bit of true gold is all you need. When almost everything can collapse with just a barely there poke from true healing, did you even have anything much before? No. But that bit of gold that withstands destruction is all you can ever rely on anyway.

Ana Coeur

[sorryforthephilosophy]

We Made Computers Stupider So We Could Talk To Them

The era of generative AI, using large language models, has made computers seem a lot smarter than they were before. But actually, we've had to teach computers how to be stupider in order to speak with them.  In particular, we've had to train them in how to believe in made up concepts that are nearly meaningless. 

Take virginity, for example.  It's one of the stupidest and most harmful concepts out there.  It's stupid because it's ill-defined but it gets treated like something that is well defined.  We think we know what it is, but it falls apart under simple questioning.  Are people still virgins if they only had oral sex?  What if they rubbed genitals through their clothing?  What about masturbation in front of a partner?  What about a medical exam where genitals were touched but not for purposes of sexual gratification?  Does it change things if someone did experience some sexual gratification even if that wasn’t the purpose of the touch?

What makes the idea of virginity even stupider is that we treat it as a binary.  If it was a spectrum representing amount of sexual experience, from those who have done nothing to those who have done everything, it would still be a poorly defined measure (because we haven’t defined what is sex, and what is the value of each sex act).  Making it a binary, though, means that trying to judge someone’s virginity means making two guesses: how much their prior experiences count as sex, and whether those experiences are enough to flip the switch from virgin to not-a-virgin.

The concept of virginity is by no means the only poorly defined concept like this.  Most concepts are “subjective” meaning imprecise, poorly defined and with a very loose correlation with any actual verifiable truths.

Even the most “objective” of concepts are not as precise as we like to think they are.  We can say an object has a certain weight, and can measure that weight in really precise looking numbers, but does that mean that weight is an objective fact?  An object’s weight can vary based on where on the planet it is (some parts of the planet have higher gravity than others) and can be influenced by the location of the moon and other celestial bodies.  And no matter how precise your measuring instrument, it’s not going to measure the weight down to the very last subatomic particle, so your weight is really just an approximation.  Even if it was completely accurate, it would only be accurate for a tiny amount of time, because objects are constantly gaining and losing electrons and other tiny particles and so weight is constantly in flux.

We only think we know what terms like virgin mean, because our brains are designed to be fuzzy guessing machines.  When we are told a concept applies to an object, an entirely unconscious process links that concept with other things we notice at the time, and the more we see these things co-occur the more these links are strengthened.  If we’re told someone is an asshole, and that person is carrying a purple teddy-bear, we might slightly associate “asshole” with “carries purple teddy bear,” but if we never meet another asshole carrying a purple teddy-bear, that link fades away.  On the other hand, if a lot of the people we are told are assholes wear white t-shirts, or smoke cigars, or drive Teslas, then those neural links are strengthened over time.  And then, if we need to decide whether someone is an asshole, if they are wearing a white t-shirt and smoking a cigar and driving a Tesla, we’re more likely to guess that yes, they are.  And this process is normally unconscious.  We don’t know what neural links we have to various concepts unless we purposefully interrogate our own brains to try to find these.

And this fuzzy decision-making process is the farthest you could get from logical, binary decision-making of the kind computers do.  There’s no one-to-one “Tesla = asshole” equivalence.  And our brains are not just learning machines but complex pattern matching machines, so it’s not even a straight forward “Tesla = +3% likelihood of asshole.”   Tesla by itself might be +3%, and cigar might be +2% and white t-shirt might be +10% but Tesla plus cigar might be +40%, and Tesla plus white t-shirt might be only +1%.  

What made computers good at all the stuff they’ve been good at for decades is their ability to be precise, logical and mathematical in their thinking.  A computer can do a logical or mathematical operation a million times in a row, and get it right every single time.  If they got it right only 99.9% of the time, computers would be completely useless for most of the things we use them for today.

Yet the precise, logical nature of computers wasn’t good enough for us.  We wanted to be able to talk to them like they were humans, so we forced our fuzzy thinking on computers.  We took billions of instances of people talking, and forced them down the throats of computers, making computers approximate the same kind of fuzzy learning we do.  So now, in every large language model, there’s an entry for the word “virgin,” and it’s linked via a bunch of probability vectors to a lot of other words and patterns of words.  And now you can go to your favorite AI chatbot and talk to it about virgins and it will act like that’s an actual concept with an actual meaning, even though it’s really a stupid word that doesn’t mean anything, and only exists because the weakness of human’s fuzzy thinking is that we can believe useless concepts like “virginity” actually exist.  Instead of trying to think more like computers, be more precise and logical, and rid ourselves of useless and harmful concepts like virginity, we’ve just brought computers down to our own level of stupidity.

[businessintelligencedashboard]

How Advanced Data Manipulation Techniques Are Transforming UK Businesses

First, let’s see what is data manipulation

If you ask ‘what is data manipulation’, its the act of transforming raw data into something more structured, understandable, and valuable. Data cleansing, data transformation, and data integration are some of the methods used for this, and the result is refined data that is ready for use. In order for companies to make educated decisions, these procedures are vital for maintaining accurate and dependable business data.

Initial Steps to Get Started with Advanced Data Manipulation

Step 1: Assess Your Data Needs

Identify Objectives:

Define Business Goals: One should clearly outline the business aspirations they aim to achieve through the process of systematic data manipulation. For example, improving customer segmentation, optimizing supply chain operations, or enhancing predictive analytics.

Data-Driven Questions: It is important to formulate specific questions that your business data needs to answer. These questions will guide the data manipulation process and ensure that the outcomes are aligned with your desired objectives.

Data Inventory:

Source Identification: Catalog every possible and known source of your business data that exists. It may be the data from your CRM systems, ERP systems, financial databases, and marketing platforms.

Data Profiling: Conduct rigorous data profiling to better understand the characteristics of your data. This may be a turning point as you need to take into consideration the data quality, completeness, and structure. Tools like Apache Griffin or Talend Data Quality can assist in this process.

Step 2: Choose the Adequate Tools and Platforms

Data Manipulation Tools:

ETL Tools: Investing in reliable ETL (Extract, Transform, Load) tools is a wise decision as they will help go through the entire process of data manipulation. Popular options include Apache NiFi, Talend, and Microsoft SSIS. These tools help in extracting data from various sources, transforming it into a usable format, and loading it into a central data warehouse.

Data Blending Tools: Tools like Alteryx and Grow are top-rated for data blending, allowing you to combine data from as many data sources as you please without causing much hassle.

Data Connectors:

Integration Capabilities: Ensure your data manipulation tools support a wide range of data connectors. These connectors enable seamless integration of disparate data sources, providing a holistic view of your business data.

Real-Time Data Integration: Look for data connectors that support real-time data integration to keep your data current and relevant for decision-making.

Step 3: Implement Data Cleaning Processes

Data Quality Management:

Automated Cleaning Tools: Use automated data cleaning tools like OpenRefine or Trifacta to detect and correct errors, remove duplicates, and fill missing values. Automated tools can significantly reduce manual efforts and ensure higher accuracy.

Data Standardisation: Standardise your data formats, units of measurement, and nomenclature across all data sources. This step is crucial for effective data manipulation and integration. Techniques like schema matching and data normalisation are vital here.

Step 4: Data Transformation Techniques

1. Normalisation

Normalisation is organising data to reduce redundancy and improve data integrity. It involves breaking down large tables into smaller, more manageable pieces without losing relationships between data points.

Techniques:

First Normal Form (1NF): Ensures that the data is stored in tables with rows and columns, and each column contains atomic (indivisible) values.

Second Normal Form (2NF): Removes partial dependencies, ensuring that all non-key attributes are fully functional and dependent on the primary key.

Third Normal Form (3NF): Eliminates transitive dependencies, ensuring that non-key attributes are only dependent on the primary key.

Boyce-Codd Normal Form (BCNF): A stricter version of 3NF, ensuring every determinant is a candidate key.

Normalisation involves the decomposition of tables, which may require advanced SQL queries and an understanding of relational database theory. Foreign key creation and referential integrity maintenance through database constraints are common methods for assuring data consistency and integrity.

Applications: Normalisation is crucial for databases that handle large volumes of business data, such as CRM systems, to ensure efficient data retrieval and storage.

2. Aggregation

For a bird's-eye view of a dataset, aggregation is the way to go. The goal of this technique is to make analysis and reporting easier by reducing the size of massive datasets.

Techniques:

Sum: Calculates the total value of a specific data field.

Average: Computes the mean value of a data field.

Count: Determines the number of entries in a data field.

Max/Min: Identifies the maximum or minimum value within a dataset.

Group By: Segments data into groups based on one or more columns and then applies aggregate functions.

Aggregation often requires complex SQL queries with clauses like GROUP BY, HAVING, and nested subqueries. Additionally, implementing aggregation in large-scale data systems might involve using distributed computing frameworks like Apache Hadoop or Apache Spark to process massive datasets efficiently.

Applications: Aggregation is widely used in generating business intelligence reports, financial summaries, and performance metrics. To better assess overall performance across multiple regions, retail organizations can aggregate sales data, for instance.

3. Data Filtering

Data filtering entails picking out certain data points according to predetermined standards. This technique is used to isolate relevant data for analysis, removing any extraneous information.

Techniques:

Conditional Filtering: Applies specific conditions to filter data (e.g., filtering sales data for a particular time period).

Range Filtering: Selects data within a specific range (e.g., age range, price range).

Top-N Filtering: Identifies the top N records based on certain criteria (e.g., top 10 highest sales).

Regex Filtering: Uses regular expressions to filter data based on pattern matching.

Advanced data filtering may involve writing complex SQL conditions with WHERE clauses, utilising window functions for Top-N filtering, or applying regular expressions for pattern-based filtering. Additionally, filtering large datasets in real-time might require leveraging in-memory data processing tools like Apache Flink or Redis.

Applications: Data filtering is essential in scenarios where precise analysis is required, such as in targeted marketing campaigns or identifying high-value customers.

4. Data Merging

The process of data merging entails creating a new dataset from the consolidation of data from many sources. This technique is crucial for creating a unified view of business data.

Techniques:

Inner Join: Combines records from two tables based on a common field, including only the matched records.

Outer Join: Includes all records from both tables, filling in nulls for missing matches.

Union: Merges the results of two queries into a single dataset, removing duplicate records.

Cross Join: Creates a combined record set from both tables by performing a Cartesian product on them.

Merging data involves understanding join operations and their performance implications. It requires proficient use of SQL join clauses (INNER JOIN, LEFT JOIN, RIGHT JOIN, FULL OUTER JOIN) and handling data discrepancies. For large datasets, this may also involve using distributed databases or data lakes like Amazon Redshift or Google BigQuery to efficiently merge and process data.

Applications: Data merging is widely used in creating comprehensive business reports that integrate data from various departments, such as sales, finance, and customer service.

5. Data Transformation Scripts

For more involved data transformations, you can utilize data transformation scripts, which are scripts that you write yourself. You can say they are custom-made. Python, R, or SQL are some of the programming languages used to write these scripts.

Techniques:

Data Parsing: Retrieves targeted data from unstructured data sources.

Data Conversion: Converts data from one format to another (e.g., XML to JSON).

Data Calculations: Performs complex calculations and derivations on data fields.

Data Cleaning: Automates the cleaning process by scripting everyday cleaning tasks.

Writing data transformation scripts requires programming expertise and understanding of data manipulation libraries and frameworks. For instance, using pandas in Python for data wrangling, dplyr in R for data manipulation, or SQLAlchemy for database interactions. Optimising these scripts for performance, especially with large datasets, often involves parallel processing and efficient memory management techniques.

Applications: Custom data transformation scripts are essential for businesses with unique data manipulation requirements, such as advanced analytics or machine learning model preparation.

Step 5: Data Integration

Unified Data View:

Data Warehousing: The best way to see all of your company's data in one place is to set up a data warehouse. Solutions like Amazon Redshift, Google BigQuery, or Snowflake can handle large-scale data integration and storage. You can also experience integrated data warehousing in Grow’s advanced BI platform. 

Master Data Management (MDM): Implement MDM practices to maintain a single source of truth. This involves reconciling data discrepancies and ensuring data consistency across all sources.

ETL Processes:

Automated Workflows: Develop automated ETL workflows to streamline the process of extracting, transforming, and loading data. Tools like Apache Airflow can help orchestrate these workflows, ensuring efficiency and reliability.

Data Transformation Scripts: Write custom data transformation scripts using languages like Python or R for complex manipulation tasks. These scripts can handle specific business logic and data transformation requirements.

How These Technicalities Are Transforming UK Businesses

Enhanced Decision-Making

Advanced data manipulation techniques are revolutionising decision-making processes in UK businesses. By leveraging data connectors to integrate various data sources, companies can create a comprehensive view of their operations. With this comprehensive method, decision-makers may examine patterns and trends more precisely, resulting in better-informed and strategically-minded choices.

Operational Efficiency

Incorporating ETL tools and automated workflows into data manipulation processes significantly improves operational efficiency. UK businesses can streamline their data handling, reducing the time and effort required to process and analyse data. Reduced operational expenses and improved responsiveness to market shifts and consumer demands are two benefits of this efficiency improvement.

Competitive Advantage

UK businesses that adopt advanced data manipulation techniques gain a substantial competitive edge. By using data transformation and aggregation methods, companies can quickly secure their edge with hidden insights and opportunities that are not apparent through the most basic techniques of data analysis. This deeper understanding allows businesses to innovate and adapt quickly, staying ahead of competitors.

Customer Personalisation

When it comes to improving consumer experiences, data manipulation is key. Companies may build in-depth profiles of their customers and use such profiles to guide targeted marketing campaigns by integrating and combining data. Higher revenue and sustained growth are the results of more satisfied and loyal customers, which is made possible by such individualised service.

Risk Management

For sectors like finance and healthcare, advanced data manipulation is essential for effective risk management. By integrating and normalizing data from various sources, businesses can develop robust models for predicting and mitigating risks. This proactive approach helps in safeguarding assets and ensuring compliance with regulatory standards.

Greater Data Accuracy

Normalisation and data filtering techniques ensure the accuracy and consistency of the business data, assisting you and your teams with decisions that leave no fingers raised. This accuracy is crucial for maintaining data integrity and making reliable business decisions.

Comprehensive Data Analysis

Data merging and aggregation techniques provide a holistic view of business operations, facilitating comprehensive data analysis. This integrated approach enables businesses to identify opportunities and address challenges more effectively.

Conclusion

Advanced data manipulation techniques are revolutionising the way UK businesses operate, offering far-reaching understanding into their business growth without a hint of decisions solely substituted by human intuition. These techniques have become all too important for companies to provide a conducive environment for decision-making, streamline major and minor operations, and get access to a significant edge in their respective industries. From improved customer personalisation to robust risk management, the benefits of advanced data manipulation are vast and impactful.

Any business, whether UK or otherwise, wants to provide an all-inclusive BI platform to its teams for easier data democratisation should opt for Grow, equipped with powerful data manipulation tools and over 100 pre-built data connectors. With Grow, it becomes a possibility to flawlessly integrate, modify, and analyse your business data and lay bare the insights for the ultimate success of your business. 

Ready to transform your business with advanced data manipulation? Start your journey today with a 14-day complimentary demo of Grow. Experience firsthand how Grow can help you unlock the true potential of your business data.

Explore Grow's capabilities and see why businesses trust us for their data needs. Visit Grow.com Reviews & Product Details on G2 to read user reviews and learn more about how Grow can make a difference for your business.

Why miss the opportunity to take your data strategy to the next level? Sign up for your 14-day complimentary demo and see how Grow can transform your business today.

Original Source: https://bit.ly/46pNCjQ

[notmoreflippingelves]

We don't get a definitive answer. I rewatched a few bits of "Spirit of a Wizard" just to double-check that I hadn't forgotten something.

When Ash tries to use the scepter, she is unsuccessful, and Elena claims that this is because the scepter only channels "good" magic. But is this actually the case or is Elena just assuming that it is? How does she know? Where is the proof? And furthermore, who defines what is "good"? Is it an objective measure or just whatever Elena has convinced herself at a given moment. If her self-righteousness is strong enough, could she continue to use it even in terrible ways, because her way is the "right way"?

It is worth noting that Elena does use "blaze" to kill Shuriki , permanently mutilate Orizaba's wings, and "shoot to kill" (even if she missed) Marimonda, Shuriki (pre-killing), Victor & Carla (if I am remembering correctly), Ash, and Esteban over time. While all the characters in question were villains (or villain adjacent) at the time, it's still pretty interesting that the scepter does not seem to have any qualms about attempted murder/mutilation of an opponent. Which seems pretty sus to be considered "good magic" even its used by a hero against villains.

The only person besides Elena that we see successfully use the scepter is post-redemption Esteban in "Coronation Day." A lot of people have extrapolated that he failed to use it in "Spirit of a Wizard" because he wasn't "good" at the time. But in actuality, he really didn't have much a chance to try? He only holds the scepter briefly for two moments before 1) Mateo tries to seize it back(only for Zopilote to grab it) and 2) Ash takes it out of his hands when Esteban briefly gets back.

The scepter admittedly does not glow in Esteban's hands when he first touches it, which is why a lot of people buy the "it only works for good people/good magic" explanation that Elena provides. But to be fair, it really only glows unprompted a few times in general even for Elena. So it not lighting up isn't necessarily a complete guarantee that it would not work for Esteban. He didn't have a proper chance to "try" it before its taken away.

So TLDR a few plausible explanations for how/why the scepter works the way it does that aren't simply "it only works for good magic"

You need to have been exposed to ancient magic--and possibly Maruvian magic in particular-- in order to properly use the scepter. This is why Elena (amulet + crystal well) and Esteban (crystal well) are the only ones who have used it successfully. This explains why "the scepter has powers" is BRAND NEW INFORMATION to the characters, as other "good" monarchs of recent memory (esp Elena's parents) should have been able to use it in the past but did not. It also explains why Ash isn't able to use the scepter. She just doesn't have the raw direct power that the other two have and her morality has nothing to do with it. (The scepter of Night does not seem to have this power limitation).

2. In addition to the above, you need to be "powerful" enough to use the scepter. As Elena soaked up the amulet's power for 41 years and then got more magic from the crystal well, her raw power is always going to exceed everyone else's. She simply has more magic within her even than Esteban. Not only that, but she has been training on how to use it for most of the past 4 years. Therefore, the scepter is going to be easier to use and work "better" for her than it would for anyone else. Personal morality is a non-issue. (And by the time we see Esteban use the scepter successfully, he has had much more time to train/familiarize himself with his own magic and therefore is better prepared).

3. In conjunction with both of the above, you also have to *want* to use the scepter and to be open to using it. In "Spirit of the Wizard," Esteban was very reluctant to take the scepter from Elena and would've been even more reluctant to use it against her. It's possible that the scepter picked up on his ambivalence and that this was the reason that it didn't work at the time. Esteban, while "worthy" of the scepter, isn't "all in" and therefore the scepter will ignore him.

My personal headcanon is that the scepter is almost "alive" in a sense with little "personality quirks" and a sense of agency in where/how and by whom it can be used. That's probably why it was acting up for a time after being used to defeat Shuriki. It needed a nice little nap and a trip to the doctor sunbird oracle. I think that at some level it can "choose" its bearer (not unlike wands in HP). It accepts Elena and Esteban (eventually) , while rejecting Ash and Zopilote outright--perhaps because of level/type of power or perhaps b/c certain "personalities" mesh better with the scepter's own.

A sort of compromise between "the scepter only works for objective good" and the "scepter only works for Elena's good" is to have the scepter continue to "work" but work slower, not as effectively, or in a different way than intended if Elena wants to use it for morally ambiguous things. (In one of my w.i.p.s, I have Dark-ish! (but temporarily and still ultimately good) Elena uses the some of the powers in morally questionable ways. The scepter does still cooperate for her, but it also manages to "register its disapproval" of Elena's methods by not quite working in the way that she wants/in the ways that it would've if her motives had been more pure.)

See, the thing about my Lydia the Bard-style villain song animatic script for Princess Sofia the First was that it would take extremely dire and specific cirumstances to make Sofia even morally grey. So I had a precise idea of the plot from the beginning of my process. But Elena has much more potential for a fall from grace. Her consistent major flaws include recklessness, single-mindedness, overconfidence and bitter vindictiveness. She experiences a vast amount of trauma and stress throughout her story and much focus is dedicated to her mental health as she learns healthy responses to it, non-linearly with plenty of self-destructive moments. Then she suddenly gets powerful magic controlled by her emotions that emphasizes this arc. I'm almost spoiled for choice on how to turn her evil! She's like the Anakin Skywalker of Disney Princesses. Except canon hasn’t given us Darth Vader.

Also, does anyone in the fandom have a definite answer on whether or not the Sceptre of Light only works in the hands of a good person or toward good? Because it vaguely says so on some wiki pages, but not others. And Elena attempts to directly use Blaze on Esteban several times in Season Three. Her final test by fate/the universe/whatever was to forgive him and she's acting out of unreasonable wrath at these points as he never tries to hurt her, but the laser is still fired. How immoral do you have to be for it not to work? An overall bad person or just currently having bad goals and/or motivations? Tell me what you think!

This is what I’m doing, by the way.

[roamwithahungryheart]

Daisy Jones & The Six - An Honest Review

As an avid follower of Reese's Book Club, when Daisy Jones & The Six was announced as the March '19 pick, I was intrigued. I'm always down for a fictional band to follow and fall in love with. If you've seen it, you'll understand why That Thing You Do! holds a very special place in my heart. So when I read that Taylor Jenkins Reid's latest book was inspired by Fleetwood Mac, that was all I needed to be hooked in and ready to invite The Six into my groupie scrapbook.

After another read-through of the book, and diving into the series the moment it dropped, I have a few thoughts to share.

I noticed a few comments on the Hello Sunshine IG page about the format of the paperback being hard to engage with. So I bought the audiobook before the original print version.

I feel it works better as an audiobook - after all, it's an oral history of the band. And I have to give major credit to the voice acting - it was a fun listen, with Jennifer Beals giving Daisy (inevitably) a Stevie Nicks rasp. But Miss Nicks she is not.

Daisy Jones is a precocious, headstrong character whose groovy chick persona gets lost in being repeatedly defined by her red hair and 'stunning big blue eyes - dark, cobalt blue'. No wonder she wants to break out of the box everyone puts her in. In true rock 'n' roll style, she goes off the rails, spiraling into a destructively hedonistic lifestyle with the unstoppable force of a tornado. In the Amazon Prime adaptation, the foundations are laid, but it looks like they're building something entirely different.

A review of the series by Collider calls it 'serviceable as a decent binge for people who get off on reading about how much Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham hated each other[...]' and I have to agree.

From book to screen, the journey back to the 70s is loosely translated. Sure, there are a few references to the Whiskey and the Plaster Casters in TJR's book, giving us just enough of a glimpse into the groupie scene - but this isn't the inner circle. Daisy exists on the fringe of it all, desperate to be one of the It Girls. The first episode's cinematography and costume choices are clearly influenced by Pamela Des Barres' memoir and Almost Famous, with a little bit of Ali McGraw Love Story styling for Camila Morrone thrown in for good measure.

But it falls short in a few places. For starters, the talking heads feel a little disjointed. They're supposed to take place 20 years later, yet the clothes look a little too modern. They haven't aged enough. Although, I have to say Timothy Olyphant is serving some Cougs (John Cougar Mellencamp, for the uninitiated) realness in those later interviews.

When spliced in between the main body of the story, we see nothing of the individual recollections of the characters. It's one singular objective truth. Perhaps that's the nature of the adaptations that get churned out by streaming platforms - keep it simple. Because in terms of storytelling, simplicity equates to watchable, binge-worthy television.

The story of a rock band is always anything but simple.

Maybe we'll see a little more complexity in future episodes. The story so far unfolds slowly, with only a few memorable lines. Tightening the dialogue seems to have been a slight challenge for the writers - at times it feels a little contrived. When you're working with original material that's almost entirely comprised of dialogue, it should lend itself to the screen almost verbatim with relative ease. The changes to the plot seem to have been made in order to accommodate the 10 episode format. As a result, it dulls a little of its glam rock shine.

That being said, props to Hello Sunshine and Amazon for including TJR in the writing process. It gives me a little more faith in the show, just as it did with the production company's previous hits Big Little Lies (still waiting on that third season!) and Little Fires Everywhere.

Amazon's Daisy Jones & The Six may not be as engaging as the book, but I'm still along for the ride.

[messier-47]

How the Space-Time Jutsu could have worked

In this essay I will-

SHARE how YOUR FAVORITE Naruto character could possible be able to go FORWARD or BACKWARD in time using BASTARDIZED SCIENCE! :D

Look, look, i have a casual make-up-break-up relationship with physics so while I may know the bitch I can't give you the deets, ya feel me? So either take everything I say with a grain of salt or say "fuck it" and run with it at full speed.

Okay, the Time Space jutsu I'm pretty sure canonically is a backwards summoning jutsu which means that the summonee can summon themselves and doesn't need to be summoned by a secondary party. pretty nifty.

Not cool enough for me. I need the Space Time jutsu to break the laws of physics.

Sadly, this theory DOES NOT BREAK THE LAWS OF PHYSICS but uses the Laws to support it's claim. (this theory would realistically vaporize the human body but we're talking about Naruto here and we all know that Death is just a concept to polite step around)

Okay so: Time Travel

Time is a linear force that can either speed up or slow down but it can never go backwards. However to prove something exists is to slow down time to catch the subject moving from point A to point B what the fuck does that mean? It means that if you cannot see that something is moving from Point A to Point B, then does it really exist? Yes, you just have to speed up time or slow it down. That means that TIME is the quantity that proves that everything existed within a space.

However the human eye can only see things at X amount of speed. For now I'll say 60fps cause that's what most video games are going for. The human eye can see things easily at 60fps and HD is probably 300 fps. But we are still limited by time. Things going FASTER that 300fps CANNOT be seen moving from point A to point B

The Sharingan is a dojutsu that let's the human eye see at 600fps

Which means to the Uchiha time slows down cause they're intaking much more information than the average human being.

Now we talked a bit about how Space and Time hold each other's hands in order for an object to be proven to exist

how the fuck does it turn into time travel?

Time travel would mean that you as an object/subject move faster than the human eye, moving faster than the sharingan to get from Point A to Point B

that's it. that's all it is. in it's most simplest terms, it doesn't mean that you go at light speed or break dimensions you're just simply moving faster than the human eye could register that you moved at all

Here's how you break time

Now in physics there's this big fancy rule called "Conservation of Mass" which states: nothing is made new. you break H2O down to it's atoms you now have gas but it's not brand new atoms; it's 2 atoms of Hydrogen and 1 atom of Oxygen. everything within the solar system is used, reused, and recycled over and over again because it's atomic componets never cease to exist.

which means that In The Beginning, all matter existed, it just hasn't transmuted into something more

but how do you transmute?

Energy

the Big fucking Bang set the universe of fire and we're the grimy little worms that frolic in the ashes

Okay, but that would mean that there are two definable objects in the world: atoms and energy. and Energy, as the Law of Conservation of Mass says, CANNOT BE MADE. it comes from somewhere else. "An object at rest stays at rest unless an outside force acts upon it" energy is TRANSFERABLE it is FELT and can be CALCULATED but energy isn't an atom. it's not on our periodic table. So what the fuck is it?

Energy is a wave

You know Radiowaves? Microwaves? the spectrum of light? the waves of radiation currently giving people skin cancer? that's all just energy being felt, being seen, being measured and IT's ALL RIGHT THERE! However the Law of Conservation still exists: nothing new can be created

then that means that all the energy of the universe existed well before the Big Bang

How does this translate into timetravel?

Space-Time jutsu is just "How to get from point A to Point B so fast that the human eye can't prove that I traveled?" but Time travel is slightly different and it's how everyone in Naruto is able to go back in time in all those fanfictions

It's simple: In a fantasy world where souls can be reincarnated and bodies can withstand tremendous amounts of power (looking at you jinchuuriki) it's possible for a human body to become energy

Cool right? Now here's what's cooler: Energy existed always. The same energy it took for a butterfly to flap it's wings could be the same bit of energy that whips up a tornado. The same energy for 23 men to stab Julius Caesar could be the same energy that makes a tree grow.

But how do you prove energy? Do you have to slow down or speed up time? especially if it's a "Wave" like I said?

here's the thing: Energy exists OUTSIDE OF FUCKING TIME SO IF YOU'RE A BODY OF PURE ENERGY YOU COULD SKIP THROUGH TIME cause if all energy existed always and all energy exists outside the dimensions of time that means TIME IS YOUR BITCH

Space-Time Jutsu? it's the simplest for of how to get from Point A to Point B

but the potential at your very fingertips is being able to jump around time because you exist as a conscious wave length of energy

Okay done ranting I'm going to bed just wanted to share cause its too freakin cool not to hold it all in hope y'all understood

[fartravellingfool]

Eh, i don't think the idea that Dwarves are naturally ambiguous is a given, considering the line of germanic folklore that Tolkien was drawing from (The Nibelungenlied for example) consistently shows them as an antagonistic force; even when they aren't they are more of a neutral agent that would still demand something out of the protagonist (The Son of Ivaldi demanding Sif's golden hair for example). The concept of them being fully heroic even with their own shortcoming was very much an invention of Tolkien after much revision, if you want to stay true to the folklore you'd need to make them short miserly ugly figures who would give you magical items only if given riches of equal measure or something of that nature.

Though adding more to this i'd argue the problem with "evil" and "good" races stems from Tolkien's desire to write a story with pre-Christian roots with a Christian framework; in the olden days the monsters that orcs meant to represent are not naturalized beings but rather imminent natural forces that the protagonist have to overcome; in a Christian context where divinity exists above the natural world those spirits (along with Elves, Dwarves, etc) becomes less of a supernatural entity but a natural entity; a people with culture and traditions rather then mere residents of the fringes. even if they have a connection towards the divine in some ways (Such as the Elves in LotR does).

Naturally the Orcs comes along with this, antagonistic malicious forces now molded into creatures of flesh and blood, yet with the distinction of being "Evil", this however opens a whole box of conundrum; chiefly in order to make an "Evil" race one must define what "Evil" is to begin with.

In the Classical pre-Christian myths that much of fantasy derive from, concepts of good and evil certainly exists, malicious acts, social taboos, and imminent threats to society consistently shows up as a driving force in any story; however there still a distinction in which "Evil" as an active supernatural force that can taint and corrupts other as defined by Abrahamic theology is not something that naturally exists within all myths and beliefs and certainly not in the way it is frame in the context of sin and redemption as it exists in the Christian one.

This of course is the chief issue of the "Tolkien Moral Conundrum"; by making beings of an "Evil" nature in order to mimic the myths of old but defining "Evil" in a Christian context, there comes an issue where; the two concepts clash into eachother that is; "How can a creature that have the capability of reason be "naturally" evil?"

Much has already been said about Tolkien's own Catholic beliefs and how it pertains to his worldbuilding; chiefly the old addage of "Evil cannot create anything new, only corrupts" but here lies the problem then; by making a race of people with a conscience and sapience the naturally they should be able to rationalize the concept of "good", as goodness is an imminent truth that anyone of sound mind can percieve and evil is the rejection and desecration of it, naturally then if Orcs are a "race" and not just beasts such as the Wargs or snakes they cannot be naturally evil. If they are naturally evil then it would be an admittance that "Goodness" is not an objective truth but a subjective reality that depends on the rationale and mind of a given creature. Evil cannot create but by my making a race essentially naturally evil, then it meant Evil had created something; a new form of rationale separate from the common human ones.

Now if you make a story where goodness doesn't exist as a pre-eminent supernatural force, such as Warhammer 40k which laughs at such an idea, then this isn't really a problem; Orks are evil yes, but theiy are only Evil because we can only perceive with our human minds that they are evil, but they themselves hold a rational mind which does not contest their actions as "Evil", they just are.

But if you do make a world where good and evil exists in a metaphysical context; with gods and devils and heavens and hells, there come an issue where making "Evil races" ends up running contrary to the idea of "Good" existing as an absolute defined quality; if a race of people can be naturally evil then they must in turn naturally born with a rationality to justify their actions regardless of evil they are, and if evil can be rationalize in it's oppposition to good. Then the objectivity of a "Moral Good" becomes irrelevant and "The Forces of Good" becomes less about actual morality as an abject truth but rather a series of aesthetics and appeals to an idea of "good" that while may conform to our beliefs and values, doesn't really refer to morality as an objective figure.

This is primarily why i always found the generic fantasy "good vs evil" setting unsatisfactory; good and evil while existing as an objective force that is real is tantamount to a faction of "silver and gold knights" fighting "black and red barbarians" with metaphysics that falls apart the moment you give a modicum of thought about it

Tl;dr: i don't think orcs as evil creatures is a naturally bad thing in writing, but conforming to the tropes of "evil orcs" without further re-evaluation of what evil is, is as cliche as running the contrarian "good orcs". Nevertheless i don't think vague gesturing to tradition should bar anyone to write or iterate on an idea, whether it's orcs, dwaves and ogres; i'd agree that Orcs as Noble Savages is becoming a trope of in itself, but my appeal to adding nuance and depth isn't really about adding "goodness" to the natural idea of orcs; but of adding context; if they be evil, then how and why? How does that relate to "evil" in the setting in general?, what is "evil" in the first place? etc etc

i always find it kinda funny when people objects to the idea of writing Orcs in fantasy as anything other than evil roaming bands of warlike marauder because; "Well Tolkien wrote them like that, so they ALL must be like that" because consider this; in the early writings of Tolkien as published in The Book of Lost Tales Tolkien also wrote the dwarves as evil creatures and in The Hobbit as more comedic side characters, it's only in Lord of the Rings and latter works that the common attribute of Dwarves as noble and heroic were cemented, so we must ask then. If Tolkien himself had no qualms in revising the nature of his own races in order to add depth and nuanced to the narrative; why should we?

[fuckyeahharryhart]

THE ART OF SEDUCTION Reader Insert

After working months at his side, whether it be in the field, during training, debriefing in his office, or simply occupying the same space in quieter moments- reading in the lounge with a cup of tea, enjoying a few precious moments of peace, you were no closer at deciphering the gorgeous mystery that was Harry Hart. Your time with him merely reinforced what you already knew. And what you knew had, much to your chagrin, become increasingly and disconcertingly distracting with every moment you shared space with him. Harry was beautiful, obviously. You determined that the moment you saw him. Even from a distance, he cut a striking figure. But it was the understated way he acknowledged his own appearance, knew that it was pleasing and accepted it with grace, dignity and a matter-of-factness, that only made him more attractive.

Harry Hart’s appeal wasn’t just based on his good looks. There were other men who had more classically balanced features. It was significantly more than good genes or the symmetry of bone structure. Not that his purely physical attributes were lacking in any regard. You had already committed to memory every aspect of his form and figure, from his hair, with a distinguished flurry of silver, all the way down to his feet in their gleaming oxfords. No doubt polished with every wearing; they carried him with purposeful movement and long measured strides.

Harry Hart was a tall man. Often folding his legs as gracefully as possible under tables and desks that were just a breath too short to accommodate a man of his stature. He carried himself differently. Always with a posture, walk, a gait, that had a purpose.  Never rushed unnecessarily, he possessed the ease of someone in full control of his physical body. His movements were light, sharp, and kinetic. When he was still, he held himself straight and tall, without strain. In more casual moments, his weight would shift to one side or the other, or he might lean against a support, breaking up the long, precise lines of his full height.

Mostly, this had to do with a hyper awareness of his environment and his place in it. If Harry needed to calm a new recruit, he might stand with authority, but tuck his hands in his pockets, conveying a sense of ease and familiarity. When confronting an adversary, his stature seemed to grow as he pulled himself to his full height.  In those rare moments where he was free from personal and professional obligations responsibilities, as much as he could ever be, his figure would take on smooth curves and relaxed angles. The space he occupied was his to claim, mould, and manipulate. And Harry Hart did so with his body, his voice, his gaze, his way of dress.

Surprisingly, you discovered that Harry was a man who often communicated through physical touch. As a man of few words, who often guarded his privacy and personal life, you expected him to be even more reserved with his body language, to be even more wary of close physical contact. Quite the contrary, he was often more generous with a hand on the shoulder or a gentle pat on the back as a form of approval or encouragement. Sometimes, he would place his hand over yours as gesture of support and understanding. Harry was more demonstrative with contact and touch than he was with using words of praise or comfort. Even his proximity, whether it be as a figure in the distance or his physical closeness, could affect the energy of the room.

Rolling it over in your mind, you realised that it made sense that Harry would be comfortable communicating through touch. In some regards, he was a very tactile man, a sensual man, if not overtly so. He was a man that celebrated the senses.

In his office, though minimalist by Kingsman standards, austere even, there were touches of extravagance not influenced by tradition. All the furniture, as well as being beautifully made, focused on designs that were hospitable as well as functional. The chairs were comfortable. The lounge was upholstered in a dark, rich leather, well oiled and worn smooth by years of use. It was masculine, but also soft and inviting, a piece that you could relax and sink into.  A sumptuous throw. Pillows covered in dark velvet that were actually soft, not just decorative.

The items that did adorn his office were obviously selected thoughtfully and with care. The enticingly smooth curves of a vase, seemingly out of place, brilliant jade against the subdued tones of hunter green, tartans and plaid and the deep tones of polished wood and leather. The delicate lines and breathtaking color of a framed butterfly.  A small, sterling silver paperweight in the shape of a terrier. A cut crystal decanter, with matching tumblers, no doubt holding an insanely old and very expensive scotch.

There was an emphasis, not on the prestige or price of an object, but on its, color, texture, lines that were pleasing or challenging to the eye. Not as a flaunting of wealth, but a source of pleasure. It wasn’t an ostentatious display of the rich, it was the luxury of selection and taste. Any piece of clothing or fabric that touched his body directly was often luxurious, as well, scarfs, gloves, fine cashmere or calfskin leather. Though you had no way of knowing, you assumed his sheets would be of the highest thread count.

Harry’s manner of dress was immaculate and as precise as the polished, clipped tones of his aristocratic accent. He presented himself as a man who was self-assured with his appearance. Whatever he wore, he wore with confidence. He wore it well, without vanity, pretension, ego or conceit. Not that he needed the help of his wardrobe to face the world. His manner of dress seemed to highlight, magnify his innate sense of self.  He was not a flashy man, but he appreciated the expert craftsmanship that went into a finely cut suit. That good clean lines, quality materials, understated but interesting details could be the final polish on an already finely honed presentation.   

His clothing was the other area where he allowed himself some extravagance. A firm believer in the principle that if one’s self and surroundings are not only presentable, but impeccable, then one will always be prepared for what surprises life may decide to throw in one’s direction. In his line of work, unpredictability was as predictable as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west. His wardrobe countered the erratic nature of life as an agent.  Thus, his was a look of man who had his life in order.

Harry Hart was a man of consistency. His tie was an unfailing full Windsor, tucked under the spread collar of a pristine white shirt. An equally crisp pocket square, folded neatly, peeked from his breast pocket. French cuffs were secured with custom gold links, bearing the Kingsman insignia. His suits were mostly double breasted, in classic shades of black, charcoal, navy and grey and cut in a wool that was appropriate for the occasion, whether solid, pinstriped, or woven with a pattern such as herringbone, or houndstooth. After years as a Kingsman agent, he had amassed a considerable and varied wardrobe that consisted of classic suits, formal wear, overcoats, ties, scarves, for any occasion or any type of mission. Each Kingsman agent also wore a gold signet ring on the pinky of their dominant hand. Harry wore the ring on his right.

Kingsman suits were cut close to the body, but designed with allowances made to accommodate weapons, ensure maneuvrability and flexibility in all types of action. They were also bulletproof. It was a feature created after decades of experimenting with different textiles and weaves and exploring processes and techniques that would result in a material that could withstand the velocity and impact of of a bullet shot at close range. The lightweight, flexible lining was sewn into every Kingsman suit and many times proved to be a lifesaver.

Shoulder harnesses were used for carrying. Not belt clips. Belts constricted the body whereas a harness allowed freedom of movement. They were also easily and quickly detachable in case they needed to be removed. Belts, on the other hand, though they had their uses, could also cost valuable seconds when needed to be taken off. The carry position prevented printing and maintained the lines of Kingsman’s suits.

The fine, bespoke tailoring emphasized Harry’s height and build. Trousers were slim cut, long and hemmed with a perfect mid break. He preferred the simple Oxford rather than brogues. He styled his hair in a classic, handsome cut, and was always clean shaven, (unless in the field where there was no opportunity for a straight razor shave). His aftershave and cologne were unobtrusive but memorable. Rather than preceding him, the warm and masculine sent of woods and spices, with hints of cardamon, bergamot, the tactile sensuality of rich leather and suede, would linger after his departure, like a layer of warm dark velvet. Even his hands were beautiful. Beautiful but not delicate. Large wide palms, long elegant fingers, his nails were neat and clipped. They sometimes bore the marks of time spent in the field. They were strong and capable.

Overall, Harry Hart had the appearance of a man who embraced classics, honoured tradition, but defined his look with his own individual aesthetic personality and sense of style.

In quieter moments, when you had the opportunity to watch him without being too obvious or call attention to yourself, you allowed your curiosity to wonder over all the small details and mannerism that were unique to Harry. How his fingertips would gently find the arm of his glasses and rest lightly there, when he was thoughtful or pondering a question, as if it helped him focus or think.  The automatic gesture probably developed after years of transmitting information through the eyeglasses, which also functioned as communication devices.  Through your experience in human psychology, you recognised this as a self soothing gesture. Finding the comfort of something familiar. You were fairly sure that Harry was aware of this gesture and allowed himself some habits, that were, not particularly productive but, helpful nonetheless. Rubbing his thumb along the band of his signet ring. The way he would always shoot his cuffs when rising from his seat. Or run the palm of his hand along the back of his head, smoothing down the already polished hair.

Never had you met someone who had the ability to asses and evaluate any given situation as throughly and unerringly as Harry. Whether it entailed clearing a room, identifying a mark, or even just something as simple as slowing his pace when you walked along side him so you wouldn’t have to struggle to keep up. He was constantly aware of his surroundings and deconstructing what needed to happen to make the environment more pleasing, the conversation more engaging, the meeting more productive, the mission more likely to succeed. He was nothing if not thoughtful. Thus, when you walked with him, he always slowed and allowed you to maintain your own graceful stride.

His physical appearance, his exacting nature, his precise moments, his carefully maintained wardrobe, his formal patterns of speech, his refined accent, not to mention his good looks could intimidate even the most confident agent, let alone a green one.  That was until the person in question realised that this outward perfection was merely the layer that he presented to the world.

It would seem impossible for man to be blessed with so many gifts, but Harry Hart proved to be the exception to the rule, for he was as charming and gracious as he was handsome. His quick wit, his clever way with words, as well as his dry, incisive sense of humor could enthrall even the most unwilling participant.

He could placate the most difficult handler, assuage the most reluctant agent, enchant the most reserved target, or ingratiate himself into the most inhospitable of circumstances. When Harry turned on the full force of his charm, the people he met, let alone the men and women who worked with him, frequently found themselves elevated in his presence, their own experience heightened by his vitality and charisma. They left the experience a little breathless, a little awestruck, a little seduced by Harry Hart. You were no exception. And you had been spending a lot of time with him.

————

You found yourselves alone one evening at the manor. In the lounge, when you both happened to desire a drink at the same time. Most of the Kingsman had already departed for the shop if they were returning to the city. The rest had dispersed to their own private quarters, or were participating in whatever activity they had planned for the evening. The lounge was quiet. They way he liked it. Apparently, it was the way you preferred it as well.

Harry spotted you the same moment you lifted your gaze at the new arrival. Your eyes narrowed slightly in pleasure at the sight of him. You gave him a small, but welcoming smile. The musical clink of crystal against glass as he poured a scotch from the fully stocked bar was the only sound aside from the cracking logs in the grand fireplace.

The club was a vast space with a vaulted ceiling. The stately fireplace stood on the far wall. Like most of the manor, it was dressed in masculine shades of dark brown and hunter greens, tartan and plaids. Polished hardwood furniture, mostly antique, and historical paintings, displaying the rich history of Kingsman, whispered class and wealth. In the center was an arrangement to accommodate a more substantial group with larger sofas and chaises surrounding a massive polished low wooden table.

Around the room were smaller clusters of tables and leather club chairs tucked into alcoves for smaller gatherings or intimate conversations. 

It was at one these clusters that he found you, tucked in a quiet corner near the fireplace.

In the most relaxed arrangement Harry allowed himself while still on Kingsman property, he had his coat draped over his arm. Dressed in his shirtsleeves, tie and shoulder holster, tumbler in hand, he approached you, also with a pleasant but small smile. Pleased that you were the one that was sharing this space with him.

You were dressed quite differently from how Harry first remembered you. Well, your clothes hadn’t been memorable, but you had been. Since you were not a knighted agent, they weren’t quite sure how to classify you yet, you took the freedom to dress beyond the Kingsman uniform. Though always appropriate and surprisingly on brand, you were not quite regulation. If you were out in the field, you were in tactical, or the women’s version of the kingsman suits. You even had the shop tailor some custom pieces so you could have more diversity. When you were at Kingsman HQ or at the shop in support, you dressed appropriately, but in your own style. There were handfuls of fashionable men at Kingsman. You couldn’t turn around and not run into a gentleman turned out in Kingsman’s finest. But an attractive, stylish woman was a rarer sight. Even Harry noticed the heads that turned when you walked by.

Walking toward you, Harry took the time to observe your appearance, he told himself as spies always did out of habit. Today, you remained on the property. Without the need for being in the field, this would be your most proper look. You were dressed in a way that was very elegant, but sexy at the same time. Or, perhaps it wasn’t supposed to look sexy. Harry set that observation aside. Not the time nor the place, he thought to himself.

You were dressed in a slim, knee length pencil skirt in a very deep shade of oxblood red. It was velvet he noted when he saw the sheen of the fabric as you shifted your knees in his direction. A matching tailored jacket, that, like him, you had removed and draped over the back of your chair. Topped with a delicate, almost sheer silk blouse the color of sun bleached bone. It had tiny pearl buttons down the front, and lace detailing at the collar, cuffs and similar detailing along the button placket. A narrow dark brown leather belt circled your waist with a gold clasp rather than a prong buckle.  Dark brown suede court shoes with a tall, but reasonable heel. Your makeup was minimal and natural. You looked like you had just somehow heightened your features, but in no discernible way he could describe.

As Harry got closer, he was able to notice even smaller details. Your beautiful hair, was twisted up and away from your face and secured in some secret way women have where it would stay perfectly in place by means he could never quite see. Your accessories were feminine and understated. Small gold earrings in the shape of teardrops, a simple gold cuff around your wrist, a Kingsman issue watch on the other. A signet ring on your own pinkie. Your nails were trimmed short and clean, either no polish or something bare. A thin gold chain around your neck with a small solid gold version of the Kingsman pendant.

Harry didn’t know what he wanted a woman to look like until he first saw you. The first time, on that first chaotic night, he had the same thought. He could give you a basic description of what you were wearing, but he could describe every feature of your face. The way you looked when you were reflective. The line of your jaw when you were determined.

And then, for the very first time he saw you, dressed, properly, walking down the long marble corridor of the HQ manor, when you had the opportunity to present yourself on your own terms. Harry thought, this is what I want a woman to look like. It wasn’t that you were model beautiful, or that your features were perfect. In London, on the streets, you could see plenty of models. They were beautiful, no doubt, and pleasing to look at, but once you were done, you were able to go about your day without a second thought. 

Your beauty had substance. The fact that Harry knew what your skill set included, to know what you had overcome to be where you were, to be the person you were, made your beauty a real tangible thing, regardless of what you were wearing. Perhaps it was that, whatever you wore, you made it part of you. It wasn’t just a pretty skirt or a flattering blouse, it was the way you wore it that made him notice you. You could have looked completely different, with completely opposite features. Harry would have still have felt the same. And he would still say, this is what I want a woman to look like.

You posessed the capacity to stir his heart. Something that had been quiet and still for a very long time. Even something that Harry thought no longer had the desire to be moved. It was certainly not something he was seeking. He, long ago, had accepted the fact that the life of agent isn’t one that fosters lasting relationships. Relationships were based on communication and he had far too many secrets as a Kingsman.

Harry was beyond the time in his life for these kinds of thoughts. He knew he had been handsome in his youth. He had his fair share of relationships and much more than his fair share of sexual encounters. He was aware that his looks had carried him quite well as he got older and that if he wanted, there were women, very desirable ones, that would be more than willing to engage in a casual relationship. Harry was by no means vanilla. It wasn’t that he was prudish in the least, or one to deny himself physical pleasure. If you were not exactly who you were, then he would have most likely allowed himself to pursue you and enjoyed whatever that relationship had to offer. The crux of it was, that he would not be as attracted to you, or charmed by you if you weren’t exactly who you were. He would not want your as much as he did if you were any different. 

——

Harry set these thoughts aside as he approached you. Even though it was obvious you were alone, Kingsman manners never failed. Never ask a lady directly if she’d like your company. Give her a polite way to refuse without making her say no. She will indicate if your presence if desired.

“Excuse me, miss.” he opened. “Is this seat taken?”

You awarded him with an amused smile. You always enjoyed his little game of manners.

You nodded toward the chair. Please.

Draping his coat on the back of his chair, just as you did, He adjusted his slacks so he could sit down comfortably and gracefully. The club chairs were low and designed to sink back into. Harry took his seat, adjusted a little until he, too, was settled in.

Since both of you were now relatively stuck in your respective positions, where you couldn’t move without significant effort, Harry simply raised his glass in your direction. You followed suit.

You were pleased when he was comfortable enough to sit in silence with you. It was one of the first tells you would look for in asset or mark. Did they have enough self assurance to be silent? Were they uncomfortable, awkward, fidgety? Did they try to fill the silence? Most often, if they lacked confidence, you would notice these tells immediately. One of your favourite activities was to sit in silence.

It was also one of your favourite activities to look at Harry Hart. The fact that he was handsome was no surprise. When you initially started at Kingsman, this was simply an objective observation, like masterful way he handled weaponry. Or the fact that he was right handed.  The more you were partnered in the field, the closer you became, both in proximity and as colleagues, his physical attributes began to affect you in ways that continued to make you increasingly uncomfortable.

You were aware his body was that of a man that you admired and looked up to. Tall, broad shouldered, slim hipped. Strong, driven, powerful. You became aware of all the things that his body could do. You had the opportunity to observe him every time you were in the field, in combat, in action.

But you also began to discern a softness, a gentleness that he could convey when he gathered you up after a surprising blast had knocked you off your feet. Hands that smoothed back your hair from your forehead upon waking up in medical after a particularly dangerous mission. A warm hand on your shoulder as you successfully accomplished a challenging task. 

You were aware that as your mentor, Harry had a responsibility to maintain a professional relationship. But with escalating frequency, you imagined how it would feel to have him pressed up against you, to feel his body, purposeful and confident. 

————

The evening was relaxed. Both of you, without the urgency of an upcoming mission to prepare, took the opportunity to simply rest and unwind. A seldom occasion. Feeling more and more at ease when both of you were together, you allowed yourself a little space to test the waters. When engaging targets, if they seemed comfortable sitting in silence in your company, would they make direct eye contact? You took another small sip of your drink, savoured it for a moment, and swallowed.

Hmmm. You were very curious about HarryHart and you were feeling surprisingly playful. You wanted to try something. Let’s say an experiment in tradecraft. You waited until you caught his eye. Harry seemed amused and matched your eye contact with equal directness. You were pleased that he made eye contact and even more pleased when he maintained it. But he was a spy, after all. Making and maintaining eye contact would be elementary for him.

With a little cheekiness on your part, you raised your glass to your lips again and took a small sip. He did not waver. His eyes even took on a little bit of curious amusement. You held the scotch on your tongue, pulled it to the back of your mouth, rolled the scotch around a little bit longer than necessary, before you swallowed.

Neither of you would look away first. You gave him a half smile, half smirk, crinkled your eyes a bit in amusement. You seemed to be saying. Ok. Your turn.

Harry had never seen your in this kind of playful mood and he suddenly found himself enjoying this little match immensely.

He could more than participate in this game. He, literally, had decades more experience than you. An agent may be able to seduce. But a gentleman agent was a master at the art of seduction. And Harry Hart was the consummate gentleman agent. One did not get to where he was in life without knowing how to pleasure a woman. He was often told he had beautiful and talented hands. That may have been years ago, but those kinds of skills, they stayed with a man.

A quick raise of his brow. Darling, challenge accepted.

Holding your eyes with his, he lowered his glass just enough to where it was in your sight line, but slightly off to the side, at the edge of your peripheral vision. You would still be able to hold eye contact, but would have to make an effort not to glance down at his glass. Especially, when you saw what he was going to do with it.

Harry held your gaze suddenly with an intense focus you were unprepared for. Out of the corner of your eye you saw that he was holding his glass, cupping it in the palm of one hand. He began to simply roll it around gently, as one would while enjoying a proper scotch. He rolled it around harmlessly, in a slow, lazy, rhythmic pattern.

You had to concentrate a little harder not to look away, but you kept his gaze. If you were uncomfortable, you didn’t show it. You hoped your gaze held a similar intensity as Harry’s. His felt, well, piercing, for lack of a more appropriate word.

This was certainly turning out to be an interesting evening, Harry thought. You seemed determined to stick this through. He would be required to dial his technique up a notch. He nested the heavy base in the center of his palm and let it rest there for awhile without moving. Then, once again, he started rolling the glass in his hand, not to stir the liquid, but to feel the surface of glass itself. He bounced the glass, lightly, as if testing the weight and feeling the heaviness.

The movement was subtle, slow, and sensuous. He let his hand explore the texture of the smooth surface. The base of his thumb pressed against the glass in slow, languid circles, sometimes rolling on to the pad of his thumb, sometimes to his finger tip. But he did this as if he were doing it unconsciously, because he was staring at you with a focus and intensity that said you were the only woman on earth, and that he wanted you.

There was truth to the term, the male gaze. It was not looking at something through a man’s eyes, it was seeing into something as a man. There was a reason why they called this particular look penetrating. It was a gaze of desire, a singularly male want and need. If done properly, it was a way to make love to a woman without touching her. It was far beyond physical contact. It wasn’t hard for him to harness his essential masculine energy. Harry had done it for years on countless honey traps in his younger days with the agency.  He hadn’t thrown the full force of himself to seduce in quite awhile and found that he was enjoying a little flex of his muscle.  If desire had a name, at that moment, it would be called Harry Hart. He let his desire roll off of him in waves.

What you didn’t quite understand, was that the game you were playing with him, wasn’t about who could keep eye contact the longest. It was a question of who was going to be seduced and who was going to be the seducer. You were approaching what you thought was a staring contest as a battle of the wills, which was why you were going to fail. Making eye contact may be a test of power and confidence, but that was a quick, brief test. A simple meeting or a darting of the eyes. It was very easy to find out who was going to be able to make and hold contact. However, eye contact for a prolonged period of time, especially between a man and a woman? It became something quite different. It was a game of seduction. It wasn’t a test of power. It was a test of control. Control of two things in this case, the seducer’s own desire, and the desire of the other person. Could the seducer harness his own desire to control the seduced.

You had not faltered yet. He raised to single brow. Would you like me to keep going?

You narrowed your gaze. Please, do.

The expression on his face all but said out loud. “You asked for it.”

Harry saw the flush in your cheeks when you noticed what he was doing with his glass. Your breathing intensified. Your pupils dilated and there was nothing you could do to stop it. 

They were very small movements, but very deliberate movements. He cupped the bottom of the glass in one palm, fingers spread as if he were holding up a small tray. Using only his middle finger, the rest of his hand now cupping the base, he began to stroke the center of the glass. Like he was using his finger to say, come here. In very slow, very deliberate, beyond suggestive movements. His other hand simply rested on the top rim of the glass. Gently holding it in place while he moved his bottom hand. He did this without twitching another muscle in his body, as if nothing had changed.

Your eyes widened. Holy fuck, you thought. With very exact and explicit movements of his hands, Harry was not just implying, but overtly demonstrating how he used them to give pleasure to a woman. The shock of seeing him within the frame of something so blatantly sexual, all the while looking at you the entire time? It was intensely arousing.

Harry was not only looking at you, he was positively devouring you with his gaze. You could feel him, his energy in pulses of heat. This wasn’t merely eye contact. This was something unexpected and you were not prepared for it. Harry was suddenly changed, maybe not changed, but different. He was harder, stronger, more demanding. He was more of everything. The polite, honorable, considerate gentleman was still there,  but now he added an aspect of himself that you had never seen or experienced before. The man was still Harry Hart, but it was also as if a part of him had been unleashed, whatever primal energy that was held in check by the handsome suits and the manners and the chivalry, had been released.

You fought to maintain your composure. He knew exactly what he was doing. His hands moved expertly, and with ease. His gaze, became even more intense, if that was even possible.

Harry continued to play and to tease as he held the glass in his palm. You knew where he had his hand. You could feel the exact placement as if it were on your own body. The base of his palm would cup your center, with the rest of his fingers spreading between your legs. His middle finger was still moving in achingly slow circles, one direction, then slowly moving in the other direction. He curled his finger under, using his knuckle, rolling it in tiny circles. Not even really moving just shifting the pressure moving from one side to the other, from top to bottom.

You saw in his eyes, that he knew, that you were not only being affected by his movements, but you were feeling sensations as if he were touching you directly.

It was the most erotic experience of your life.

Here was this beautiful man, still dressed as properly as ever in his dress shirt and tie, his shoulder holster with his side arm. His perfect hair, his perfect face. With all his dignity and respect, relaxing comfortably back into his chair, his legs spread wide, an ankle crossed over his knee, one elbow resting casually on the arm of his leather chair. Radiating such a profound sexual energy, that without even touching you, had the ability to control your body with only his eyes and the the way he moved a glass in his hand. He was so confident in his movements. His expression said, however brief this moment, that he owned you, that you were his, and he knows that you wants it that way. He can see it all over your face. He can see it in your eyes.

——

Harry wasn’t even close to being done.

He took his other hand, laying his palm over the glass, as if it was resting there. On the other side of the glass, where his thumb fell, he began to roll it around in very explicit, very familiar circles.

He felt himself harden as his own arousal grew. He didn’t try to stop it. Instead of letting it distract him, he channeled that energy through him and into you. Allowing you to witness the physical evidence of his own desire would strengthen his hold. Never underestimate the power of the imagination. You would see it. Your mind would do the rest.

Harry saw your lips part, even the slightest bit. Your chest rising and falling under your ladylike blouse as your breath quickened. Your knees pressed tightly together. He watched your face very, very carefully and intently, watching the subtle changes in your expressions as he shifted the movements of his hands, knowing that you were feeling his movements in your body. Every time your brow would furrow, or you took a sharp intake of breath, or would clench your pretty hands, as he moved his own, he knew you were feeling pleasure. And that he was the source of that pleasure.

Harry knew that there were men who were turned on by violence. For him, however, there was nothing more erotic than the sight of a woman experiencing the pleasure that you were giving her. So, he was especially aroused when he was free to look at the nuances of your face and body freely and openly. Your pleasure had reached a constant as you moved almost imperceptibly to the consistent rhythm of his hand.

And you still did not drop your gaze. Harry knew, now that you were fully aroused, you would not break eye contact. You probably couldn’t at this point if you tried. For, half of your pleasure was a result of seeing the man who was controlling your pleasure. And seeing that you pleased him, that he was also sexually aroused, intensified your pleasure. And you wanted to offer that to him, very willingly. Harry was finding out much about you in these few moments. Things that he wasn’t even sure you knew about yourself. Very few women would have been comfortable enough with their sexuality to be purely on the receiving end of pleasure. In the intimacy of their own bedroom in a committed relationship. Let alone in an extremely public and therefore vulnerable way. With a man who may be, slightly off limits. Which, in fact, probably added to your pleasure.

To see just how much you were under his thumb, pun aside, Harry paused for a moment. He kept his hand, his fingers in the exact same place. He just stilled. And watched you. After a few moments he could see the tiniest furrow of your brow. When he continued to remain still, he saw the movement he waiting for. You probably didn’t even know you had made it. It was the slightest lifting and rolling of your hips. He didn’t realize he could be more turned on, but he felt himself grow harder. It was the motion every woman made, in his experience, when they wanted more, when they were asking for more, and when they were begging for more.  The ability to actively listen and comprehend another person was the most profound influencing tactic one could hone in communication, and therefore seduction.  Which is exactly what he was doing. In a very non verbal, very physical way.

Harry began his movements again, with more intensity and purpose. He let his finger, for the first time, slide all the way up the side of the glass, even letting it lift with the upward movement of his palm. He saw your body move as if you were receiving him.

He knew you were experiencing waves of intense pleasure. He could tell you wanted to close your eyes and tip your head back. As Harry witnessed your need, he went in for his last movements. His palm pressing up into the base of the glass, his thumb rolling in small firm circles and his entire middle finger along the entire length of the glass, the tip almost reaching the top of the rim.  As if his finger were deep inside you, he made deliberate strokes while pressing into the glass, slow, but then gradually increasing in speed and pressure.

Harry knew, that you knew, the exact two parts he was pleasuring.

You lips parted, your breathing grew heavier. You had no idea what was going to happen next, all you felt were waves of pleasure. The only thing you could concentrate on was not losing eye contact with the man in front of you.

Harry knew at this point, he had let what was a silly, flirtatious game, go too far. He also knew this began as a challenge, and Harry Hart was never one to back down from a challenge. He also knew that he never purposely lost a game. If it took climaxing for you to break eye contact, then so be it.

Harry also knew he was mesmerized by the sight of you. He didn’t know if he could stop. But it didn’t matter because he didn’t want to. This moment had to hit the list of the top most erotic experiences of his life. Both fully clothed, siting in separate chairs, more than six feet apart. With only eye contact between you. He didn’t know if he’d experienced something more intensely arousing, knowing that he was the one you were feeling when you made yourself come.

Harry began to see the tell tale tremors, the quickening breath, your lips parting with cries that you desperately wanted to make that you would not let yourself, and still, you were trying to hold on. Psychologically you were making it harder for yourself, denying your own release would only make it that much more physically intense when you had to give in.

It was at that moment, that a door banged within the manor and someone appeared at the large entrance of the club room.

“Harry. That you?”

Damn it. It was Eggsy.

“Just headin’ out.” Eggsy called over. “What’s up? Looks like you two’re having a staring contest. Whose winning?”

“It’s a tie” Harry replied.

Eggsy held up his hand in a quick wave and left.

Harry gave you a quick glance, where you were still trying to maintain eye contact, wait no, you were just staring into the space behind him, concentrating on something he could not see.

——

You knew you had to stop staring at Harry, so you looked past his shoulder into the empty space behind him. At this point, even the sight of him might set you off. You were still right at the cusp of your climax and your body was still so aroused you were afraid that any movement could push your over the edge. You wanted to tell Harry to leave, but you couldn’t think of a way without embarrassing or offending one or both of you. All you could do at the moment was sit quietly. So that’s what you did. You were waiting for your body to catch up with the rest of you and settle down. Harry was waiting patiently until you were ready to move or speak.

After a bit of time, you glanced over at him, made sure it was safe. It was, and you began to relax a little, though your body still felt like a flame that was ready to ignite with any hint of friction. You just needed to stay still for awhile.

You saw Harry watching you, his face both concerned and amused.

He broke the silence.

 “And that, my darling,” Harry said pointedly. “Is how one create’s an effective honey trap.”

In an attempt to further diffuse the situation, he wanted to be frank and direct with you and not to brush what just happened under the rug. That would be awkward for both of you.  He did not want you to feel embarrassed or ashamed or uncomfortable with him or what had happened. The best way was to be as blunt as possible. He pushed down on his palms and rose out of his chair with minimal effort.

“My dear, I’ve been in the spy business for over 30 years. One does not get this far without knowing how to pleasure a woman.”

He winked at you.

“Not to worry, you’ll get there.”

Harry reached behind him for his coat, draped it over his arm, but not before you clearly noticed his own erection. Which before had just been a suggestion in the shadows. He’s hard.

The thought made you flame all over again.

“I need to take my leave. Will you be alright, here?”

All you could do is nod. You didn’t trust your voice yet.

Always the gentleman, he leaned over and brushed his lips against the top of your hair.

“Thank you for the lovely evening.”

You still couldn’t look directly at him so you turned your head slightly to the side and gave him a small nod. With a quick squeeze of your arm, you heard his departing footsteps. He was heading to the tunnels. He was going back into the city, He wouldn’t be staying at he manor. You didn’t know if you were glad or disappointed.

You were grateful to him for providing at least a somewhat graceful way to exit the situation, referring to the seduction technique that ALL agents are trained in. Harry was letting you chalk it up to a learning experience.

You opened your mouth. Nothing came out. You tried again.

“Fuck.”

It was the first word that you had said all evening.

——

“Fuck.”

Harry thought as he boarded the train back into the city. He had actually planned on staying at the manor, but with what just happened with you, he wasn’t sure if that would be the best course of action. It took all of his self control to remove himself from any temptation by leaving the place entirely. Making it impossible for him to act in a way that was inappropriate. Not that what had just happened would qualify as appropriate. At least it had the veil of a lesson on seduction. He wasn’t sure it would convince judges, but he found it a weak, but passable excuse.

No, the problem for the moment was that all Harry could see was your face as he pleasured you. How your lips parted, your breasts underneath your blouse, the flush of your cheeks. He wanted to hear what your cries would’ve sounded like. He wanted to be the one to make you cry out. His sex drive, always healthy, may have had a prolonged dormant period in recent times. But now it was raging like a fire that he unleashed and now he couldn’t put out. By letting the full force of it out this evening, it was fully awake and needed something to do. Harry had feared that if he had stayed at the manor even a moment longer, he wouldn’t have been able to help himself and would’ve taken you and had you right there.

If he could do that to you with his eyes and just the suggestion of his hands, he couldn’t imaging what it would be like pleasuring you with his entire body. Harry knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep until he took care of himself, and when he did, he would allow himself the sight of your trembling, responsive, body underneath his own as he gave you the pleasure he knew you so desperately wanted, joined together as he felt your body shudder around him when you climaxed, feeling his own release as he heard you cry out his name in pleasure.

[patton-ly-absurd]

Spear of light, Sword of darkness

First Previous

Part 8!

The child awoke once again, and asked the same question she had asked the past month, “Where is my spear,” The guard she asked, Obviously didn't know, so he didn’t answer. That didn’t mean the order didn’t know where it was, but as nobody came to her room? Cell? Anymore she never got the answer to that particular question. She’d been in that cell for six months now. She knew all the dimensions of the room, she’d measured them herself. Five meters, by five meters, by five meters. During those six months she bided her time, trying to get information, asking questions, using weird vague language to cause change in the society of the order. Now don’t get her wrong, she did know that that monk's name was in fact Allae, but that wasn’t because she had any sort of magic power, she could just see the name in her expression. Everyone could do that.

Even when people left they always left behind a good reputation of her, those who stayed seemed scared of her. She heard whispers of how ‘her eyes, I just feel like they’re always watching me. Whenever I sleep they’re always there . It scares me’ They weren’t necessarily wrong about her watching them, whenever they were near she would discreetly watch them, and gather info off of their body language. But even with people scared of her it seemed that the elders of the order saw it fit to begin training her, which meant she had to talk with people, which meant potentially more information.

Everyone has their nervous ticks, the raising of the soldiers, making sentences longer, shaking of the leg, were the most common, but everyone is different which means different tells. So when she first began training she asked broad questions in a cheery voice, making it seem so this curious young child just wanted to get to know her teacher. Of course they knew not to answer any of her questions directly but that didn’t mean she couldn’t still get information off of them. ‘They averted their eyes, that answer is probably contradictory,’ or ‘their leg is bobbing they are probably omitting a defining factor about that answer,’ small things of course, but when you have as little or as much time as you need only scratching the surface doesn’t matter information piles up over time. For instance she learned why the order sent people in to talk to her in the beginning, someone had gone into a coma minutes after she awoke and they wanted to see if she had something to do with it. She had no idea who they were talking about, but they were probably right that she had something to do with it, ‘A more extreme version of the monks' nightmares maybe. I still don’t know why I keep hearing about those though, surely the nightmares would have stopped or the people would've gotten desensitized to them by now,’

Long story short, there were a lot of questions, and not a lot of answers. Those questions had answers, and she was going to find them, she had to know why. She had to know why she knew how to do so many things like she'd been doing them all her life but had no memory of ever doing them before. She needed to know why she felt partly empty, she needed to know where all that time had gone, and who had taken it from her. She needed to know about the boy she sees in her sleep who over and over told her “Thea, please, don’t do this,” She needed to find out what she did, and why she doesn’t remember it and the boy affected by it. She needed to know why, and she was going to find out, she just knew it.

So she got to know every tell of her trainers, and began to file all of her information. But even while she was doing that she had to pay attention to the lesson going on. She was actually learning things there. Small things like the history of some magical objects. She learned what the power of each object was as well as how these objects could change. The teachers spoke of a consciousness inside the objects, ancient unknowable gods with the power of creation and destruction, or even the bending of space. How these powerful beings became bound to such small items neither she nor her teachers knew, but she assumed it was a rather long story.

About three months after her training had begun, she had thought to ask “These magical objects, where are they now? You speak of them like they are in the past,” Her trainer, who she had grown close to over time, told her that the miracle box that contained the magical objects was stolen over 70 years ago. “So, let me get this for a second, you people lost the most important box in the world, that contains jewels that can turn back time, destroy entire cities and make both heroes and villains? Wow I wonder how the grand guardian would feel about that,” The trainer visibly stiffened when the grand guardian was mentioned, they looked at her as if they expected something from her. “Why are you looking at me like that?” She could swear she saw them mouth the words ‘Mauritius Theus’, but she filed that thought away for later. There was more work to do and she could maybe figure out what those words mean as well. For now though, she continued to question her trainer, she would get her answers soon, she just knew it.

Next

Tag list

@moonlightstar64 @nightlychaotic @ashbrea381writings @rebecarojas07 @laurcad123 @tomanyfandomsonmymind @salmakshortstories @jayjayspixiepop

[beforedawnworld]

durmstrang institute (written in cyrillic as дурмстранг) is one of the three great wizarding schools of europe, and it is the one most shrouded in secrecy. the requirements of students and staff in attendance placed on them by the school are known only to other durmstrang staff and student, both current and former. they do not share their experiences with other wixen from other magical schools, as there is a superstition among alumni that to do so would only damage the skills they learned there. tucked in the ural mountains of russia, pushed up against the arctic circle, the four-story tall castle is unplottable and cannot be found on any maps. it is known for its emphasis on the dark arts in its curriculum and in recent times has developed a reputation for producing dark wixen, most famously the dark wizard gellert grindelwald.

acceptance

durmstrang accepts students from around europe aged eleven up, including those as far west as iceland and as far south as bulgaria. as long as a student seeking acceptance to the school does not live in an area covered by the other two wizarding schools of europe, hogwarts and beauxbatons, there is a possibility durmstrang would offer them acceptance. it is never a certainty, however, as despite this wide geographic region, the school is rather selective in who is allowed to attend. first and perhaps most infamously, the student must not be a muggleborn. they must come from a family that has not spoken against the dark arts nor acted to limit education on the dark arts. the path to admittance can and has been smoothed by generous donations from the family members of those seeking acceptance, though such students have been known to get teased relentlessly at school upon arrival.

education

unlike many other magical schools, including hogwarts and ilvermorny, it is not the lighter magics such as charms and transfiguration at the core of the curriculum of durmstrang. while such subjects are indeed taught, their importance and standing in lessons is strongly undercut by the pervasive flow of the dark arts through the various programs offered. a student of durmstrang is far more likely to know how to transfigure another wixen than an object and can likely think of several… unconventional applications for a well-cast aguamenti.

as a nod to their founder, all durmstrang classes are offered in bulgarian, however the true lingua franca of this school is russian. for those unfamiliar with these languages upon their arrival at durmstrang, an eight-week intensive course in the cyrillic alphabet, as well as the russian and bulgarian languages is required for any first-year or transfer not demonstrating adequate levels of language proficiency. however, because durmstrang accepts students from an incredibly broad geographic area, professors also offer classes in their home languages, resulting in lessons being conducted in polish, romanian, and other languages. this has resulted in nearly every durmstrang student speaking a minimum of four languages, depending on their professors, their courses, as well as the origins of their fellow pupils. translation spells do not work on campus and no class is taught in english.

core classes

core subjects are mandatory up until fourth year with the exception of dark arts, which is mandatory through the student's entire time at durmstrang.

the dark arts

the core that runs through durmstrang. to any durmstrang professor or alumni worth their magic, there is no “dark” and “light” magic, it is all simply magic and like a tool, it matters only in how it is used. durmstrang has chosen to focus on what other schools would refer to as the dark arts, which is defined by the administration as: “the interaction and manipulation of organic matter through magical means via internal manipulation of magical pathways”. this seven-year course grounds students in the basics of such an approach, moving into simple spells and manipulation, both with and without a conduit such as a wand or a staff. unusual applications of more conventional “light” magic is discussed, as well as dark spell development, the definition of a curse and how to create a cursed object, and applications of jinxes, hexes and curses in practical, applicable settings.

zagovory

the study of verbal enchantments. students learn the precise pronunciations and necessary circumstances this method of magic requires and begin practice with a set of knives. as they advance through their lessons, they will eventually be required to gather a full set of teeth through their own, non-magical means in order to fuel the enchantments. the strength of the enchantment, as well as how long it lasts, depends on how much power the caster can produce, which is why a full set of teeth is crucial to actually advance in this style of magic, making the collection of those teeth what distinguishes advanced students from beginners.

magic of the body

“it is from the body that your spell must originate. the wand, if you choose to use it, is nothing more than the way it escapes. it all comes from within you.” - durmstrang headmaster katayeva leonidovna. this seven-year course examines how energy moves through the body, how circumstances can hinder that flow, and where magical energy and various kinds of magic originate within the wixen’s body. one of the slower courses offered at durmstrang, it is a basic building block in how durmstrang students and teachers understand magic. as the course continues, it builds on itself until nonverbal, wandless magic can be produced by any graduating student purely by the manipulation of the magical energies inside of them.

potioneering

students examine what a potion is, how one is made, brewing a potion with proper safety precautions, as well as the development of a potion recipe and the history of potioneering. a strong believer in the hands-on approach, durmstrang students are given access to a cauldron almost immediately and are allowed to access it whenever they wish, as long as they prove they can be responsible and follow all guidelines. as a student advances, potions will become more complex with more and more complicated effects on the body. the class is divided in half, with the first half being a lesson and the latter half being an opportunity to discuss what was applied in class. exams are given at the end of each week.

organic transfiguration

a study on the history of transfiguration, the dangers and benefits of organic transfiguration, as well as in-depth practical study of the subject. students may use plants, non-sentient magical beings, or themselves as subjects for practice. the idea behind organic transfiguration, as they teach it at durmstrang, is a simple one: you must reshape the internal magical paths of a living being to resemble something else. this results in students needing a good basic knowledge of anatomy, both human, plant, and animal, which is also offered in this course.

greenskeeping

the durmstrang version of herbology. this is the study of keeping plants alive and healthy in order to be able to harvest needed materials from them. students will interact with both magical and mundane plants, both poisonous and safe and learn how to best look after them all, as well as how to monitor their health and how to produce the best yield when needed. repotting strategies, health issues, and applications of all plants for a variety of measures and situations will be discussed. students are strongly advised to have thick gloves and warm clothing for this course.

ancient and modern runes

a study of runic meanings and their history, alongside potential divination techniques and uses for runes in academic, professional, and personal settings. runic linkings and charging will also be discussed at higher levels of the course. translation of runic texts and artifacts will also make up a portion of this course in order to gain a greater appreciation for the history of runic magic. fluency in runes, both in divination and as a form of writing, is a must in order to succeed in this course and will be taught but not elaborated on. students are strongly encouraged to seek out additional help if they are having problems reaching consistent divination successes or having problems reading the runes.

lower division electives

magical law

a study of magical law across many wizarding countries in europe and asia. laws involving regulation and condemnation of the dark arts will be examined closely and broken down to further facilitate student understanding. other laws, including travel laws, artifact laws, and laws regulating interactions with non-magical populations will also be covered in this class. students will be expected to familiarize themself with one law covering dark magic regulation from their home country and present it, arguing either for or against it.

use of magical creatures

the examination of magical creatures, including their diets, mating habits, and life stages as well as how these creatures can be used by wixen kind. proper care for these creatures will be emphasized, as well as examining unconventional uses that may not have been obvious upon first examination. students will be trained to find these atypical uses and capitalize on them as well. laws around magical creature care, movement, and reproduction will also be examined.

non-magical studies

the study of the non-magical world, including what the americans would refer to as “no-majs” and their societies, cultures, and laws. also present will be lessons on the development of the nature world, the existence and categorization of non-magical creatures, and non-magical ways of understanding internal processes and systems.. this class is only available upon request of ten or more students. to make this request, please contact the auxiliary headmaster.

homeopathy

the study of medicinal plants and animals, the development of modern medical practice, and introductions to modern healthcare with the opportunity for limited practical applications. medical spells and plants will be at the center of this course with lecture material supplemented by field excursions and guest speakers. for a student gleaned to have a great aptitude for this field, medical texts as well as great opportunities for practical applications may be available. not recommended for those below third year.

whisperings

similar to the hogwarts study of charms, whisperings is the opportunity for students to expand into a field similar to zagovory with a return to spoken magic designed to produce an effect. unlike zagovory, whisperings are used to accomplish a task, whether that be extinguishing a fire, moving an object, or polishing a shoe. students will learn both the traditional method of whisperings, which does not use a wand, staff, or other conduit, as well as the more modern method, which combines limited conduit movements with shortened words to produce a similar effect to the traditional method.

inorganic transfiguration

a study of the more popular part of transfiguration in schools such as ilvermorny and hogwarts, this class examines how to turn inorganic objects into other inorganic objects, as well as how to turn inorganic things into organic ones. durmstrang considers this a more difficult form of transfiguration as there is no flow of magic in the starting object and, in some cases, a student must imbue it with magic in order to bring about the change into an organic object. as such, this course can only be attended by those recommended for it via a letter of recommendation.

conjuration

one accio can bring an object flying across the room. conjuration teaches that but at a far greater level. as this course serves as the foundation for future studies in conjuration, it is primarily theoretical, with examination of several texts written about the subject, including an introduction to the subject, an examination of how conjuration works, traditional methods of conjuring, before moving into more modern ways of taking a great many things from there and moving them to here. towards the end of the course, students will have the ability to put their learning into practice with limited conjurations from around the castle.

sailing

a traditional and dearly beloved pastime of durmstrang students, this course teaches students how to sail without the use of magic. one of only two recreational classes offered at durmstrang, this course will discuss how to plot a course, navigate using the stars, operate rigging, steer a ship, and cast an anchor. hopefully, students will become proficient before the annual great sailing competition, a time when mastery of the water and of offensive magicks come together to prove just who is the best student at durmstrang.

flight

a popular mode of transportation among the greater european magical community, this course teaches students how to fly, including how to summon and maintain a broom, get off the ground, hover, move up and down, and how to land. after several accidents in the past, students are expressly forbidden from using magic on brooms until they have demonstrated sufficient mastery of how to control one via completion of a mastery course.

upper division electives

advanced whisperings

students interested in furthering their studies into whisperings at last have an opportunity with the addition of the advanced whisperings class, added less than a decade ago. there is a greater focus on non-traditional methods of whispering and students are encouraged to examine and explore how different conduits impact their success in whispering. traditional whispering methods will be further expanded upon by examining how many words and sounds are needed to properly whisper without it failing entirely. lessons will be supplemented with historical sources and lectures from experts in the field.

advanced conjuration

letter of recommendation required for entry into this course. after a firm grasp of the history and methods have been proven, alongside an ability to successfully conjure objects from around the castle, students now have the ability to experiment further with practical, hands-on work in conjuring. students are expected to demonstrate mastery of both traditional conjuring methods via a summoning circle as well as more modern means that do away with the ritual. the final portion of this course will involve the conjuring of organic material with a human subject capping off the class.

resurrection studies

a class focused on the history, legends, and practical potentials of the resurrection of the dead. students will begin by examining popular stories and traditional tales of wixen returning from the dead, analyzing similarities between these stories to see what, if anything, is the truth. from these individual observations, students will then present them to the class and as a group, the class will pick a few options and attempt to succeed in this most elusive of goals via experiments conducted on plant life and deceased magical creatures. durmstrang would like to remind its student body there has not been a success in this course yet and there is no reward for succeeding.

alchemical studies

a magical field as old as magic itself, students will be instructed and taught in this ancient form of transfiguration and the traditional study of the elements of nature (earth, fire, water, and air). students will learn the history of this subject, the successes and the many, many failures that have plagued this study, before trying their own hand at it, turning ore into a refined metal, conducting the elements to obey one’s whim, as well as attempting the impossible: turning lead into gold.

advanced flight

once one has mastered the basics of broom flight, that is when the fun can truly begin. this course teaches advanced techniques on a broom, including offensive and defensive moves for airborne combat. popular trick moves, including those most commonly found in quidditch matches are also taught in this course. at the end, there will be a demonstration of learning presented to student peers and faculty of durmstrang.

experimental potions

letter of recommendation required for entry into this course. for those interested in going beyond what the books teach about potions, this is the perfect course. students will learn how individual ingredients affect the outcome of a potion, how to make a potion reliably explode, and what boundaries are currently being pushed in the field of potioneering today. students will be required to attempt to create their own potions and their own recipes, as well as modify existing potion recipes to produce an entirely different effect. several course will take place with the students blindfolded, in order to teach them how to brew a potion from touch, smell, and sound alone.

advanced homeopathy

letter of recommendation required for entry into this course. for those students that demonstrated exception skill and talent in the field of homeopathy, this course is the next logical step for them and serves much more as an apprenticeship to a working mediwix than an actual class. students gain extensive hands-on experience in this subject, as well as an above average knowledge of the theoreticals behind it. students are almost guaranteed a place alongside the healthcare workers they have worked under upon successful completion of this course and upon graduation from durmstrang.

examinations

at the end of each year exams are sat in every subject with the exams that that determine placement and job opportunities coming fourth and seventh year. fourth rank oral guidance exams, or f.r.o.g's, are sat in forth year with the seventh year exams known simply as crowns, as they crown off the student's time and determine what jobs they can perform. certifications and final exams all in one.

grading

much like the non-magical russian academic grading system, grades for durmstrang are on a scale from one to five, with five being the highest and one being the lowest. 

5 (“excellent”) - shows highest distinction and excellent knowledge of the subject. equivalent to an outstanding and is a passing grade.

4 (“good”) - shows good knowledge of a subject. equivalent to an exceeds expectations and is a passing grade.

3 (“satisfactory”) - shows a credible or passing grade. equivalent to an acceptable and is a passing grade.

2 (“unsatisfactory”) - shows a limited knowledge of a subject and is below average. equivalent to a poor or dreadful and is a failing grade.

1 (“very poor”) - shows a complete failure. equivalent to a troll and is a failing grade.

extracurricular activities

while all students at durmstrang are strongly encouraged to participate and interact with their fellow students as much as possible, student involvement in extracurricular clubs is intended to advance their academics and complement their learning. therefore, most of the clubs found at durmstrang tend to be more academic in nature, or at least tangentially related. however, as is the case with many rules, there are exceptions to this.

choir

for a school with such a focus on spoken magics, is it any surprise that durmstrang is particularly proud of their choir? any student can join and will sing both modern wixen hits from around the world as well as traditional songs from russia, bulgaria, and other countries prominently represented in the student population of durmstrang. perhaps most exciting is the opportunity to learn traditional magical songs that the wixen of the past used in casting their spells. a true hit among the students, especially with the incredible contrast between their sopranos and the baritones and basses, who are the three most common vocal types in the durmstrang choir and are trained to provide a maximum amount of contrast between their voices.

conduit performance

a form of performance unique to durmstrang, conduit performance allows students the ability to become more comfortable with magical conduits outside of an academic setting. a student will choose a wand or a staff and will work with others in their performance group to learn how to use that conduit in art as an extension of their body. there are semesterly performances by this club to demonstrate what they can do, and the most popular are always routines that combine partial movement with particularly powerful use of a staff.

dark arts club

one of two school-required clubs, every student is a member of the dark arts club and as such, receives more exposure and experience with this style of magic in an informal, out-of-classroom setting among their peers. this is where students will discuss lessons, work on homework, and experiment with material learned in their lessons. however, as this is a school-required club, it meets daily for only forty-five minutes.

debate club

it is an odd idea for a school such as durmstrang, but the administration understands that there is only so far magic can take an individual and that sometimes battles must be fought in courtrooms, offices, and private buildings. this is why they offer the ability for students to practice arguing each other into submission. the topics are all chosen by the students and each debate is judged by the students as well. depending on their successes, they might advance to the next level of the club or stay to learn more about communication techniques they had not previously been aware of. there’s often a fair amount of yelling in the halls of durmstrang, but few rooms are louder than the one where the debate club meets.

duelling club

the world has entered uncertain times, but durmstrang has been expecting such an event for centuries and would even claim that this all is nothing new. any student of durmstrang is expected to hold their own in magical combat and duelling club is how this expectation is met. one of two clubs required by the school, every student in durmstrang is a member of the duelling club and as such, receives consistent, focused training in offensive and defensive dark magicks. this has led to a healthy environment of competition among students and it is believed that this school-sponsored fight club is the reason there are fewer fights between students outside of the duelling ring.

homeopathy club

a place for the truly gifted in the art of homeopathy, as well as those interested in learning more about the subject to meet, practice, and discuss their lessons in this truly crucial practice. there is almost always a steady stream of students seeking medical attention that don’t want to risk the wrath of the staff at a school like durmstrang, and this club is a place for the next generation of healers and mediwix of durmstrang to become even more familiar with healing and its many challenges. there is a joke among students of durmstrang that every friend group should have someone in homeopathy club in it as it is a near-certainty that their skills will be needed.

quidditch

a durmstrang student intends to win, in all aspects of their life, and nowhere is this more clear than among the quidditch players of their school. durmstrang has six quidditch teams, all selected from the greater student body, with the captain of each team being voted on by the team members. students are expected to have a natural aptitude towards flying, a remarkable level of fearlessness, and the willingness to win a game at all costs, which makes a durmstrang quidditch match a bloody affair, often resulting in many injuries. it is, of course, a favorite of the students and most dream of joining one of the teams.

rune reading club

one doesn’t learn an entirely new alphabet, each symbol with its own greater meaning, only to use it just in class. this is the thinking of the students in rune-reading club. these students often have a proficiency with languages or a particularly mischievous streak. students in this club are infamous for swapping their classmates’ notes for ones written solely in runes, if they don’t simply hex a student, resulting in that student seeing nothing but runes no matter what language they are attempting to read.

sailing

a classic pastime for the students of durmstrang. sailing has a long history in the school and much of this club’s time is spent preparing to win the great sailing competition, which occurs each year in the sub-arctic sea near durmstrang. students will customize their boats, practice racing, and engage in mock naval battles in preparation for the big day.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Hi!!❤️ So I was thinking about Leo’s route and realized he might actually be a yandere type character? What are your thoughts about that? Do you think he’s a yandere too?

Hiya~!❤️❤️❤️ 

As to my thoughts on Leonardo being a yandere, I don’t personally think that he is one? He appears to be the mature type, more of an indulgent deredere sort of deal. He is very emotionally defensive and can’t let anyone make sacrifices for him, but that’s not typically considered yandere in nature. I’d call it more a manifestation of unresolved trauma and nonexistent self-esteem issues he still needs to work through. It can make him a little unfair and a little forceful, but he never gets to the point where he absolutely decimates MC’s ability to live for herself or make her own judgement calls. If anything he wants her to put herself first to the point of personal self-harm. That’s the thing about his refusing to turn her in his rt; while that is controlling and wrong, there are also strong indications that MC deep down is terrified to become a vampire/rejects it herself? So I think that situation was more complicated.

Yandere’s are characterized by extreme behavior--often borderline murderous and violent--in order to maintain control/possession of the person they develop feelings for. Given Leonardo’s general track record, I don’t think this descriptor really fits him. Sure he retaliates at the end of his route but the context entailed protection from a serial killer. Even in the case of him seeking to walk into the door and follow her into the future, there was no possessive intent involved; rather he speaks to a concern that she stop sacrificing things to be with him.

Speaking of, that tends to be how I define the difference between normal love and more yandere behavior. Love tends to be more about healthy sacrifice, creating space for both people to reach each other on equal grounds (especially when it comes to creating a balance of power). Yanderes tend to be less interested in mutual give and take, and more obsessed with making sure the object of their affection can never leave them or want anyone else. They often want their S/O to rely on them for every need they could ever have, and make attempts to diminish or even sabotage their capacity to reach out to others/develop a healthy social environment.

That being said, it can be hard to define something based on what it is not, so I can offer who I think is a yandere in the game. So far the characters I see with this tendency in considerable enough measure to warrant the title are: Shakespeare, Charles, and Vlad. 

There will be some mild spoilers from future rts and JPN content, so I’m going to put it under a cut:

Given the connection between Shakespeare and Vlad, perhaps it is a little misleading to say Shakespeare is one of his own account. Even so, Shakespeare exhibits this behavior. From the CG in which he is holding manacles expressly to confine MC, to his active threatening to harm her in Vincent’s route (while one can argue it was protection, I see it only as a veiled expression of “If I can’t have you, nobody can”), to complicated instances within his own rt. Many may argue that it is not within his true nature, though my impression is that it is partially Vlad’s manipulation and partially his own predisposition. Iirc Cybird also slates him as the yandere of the game, so there’s a lot of evidence pointing to him being the biggest example of it.

Charles is a yandere but if I’m honest, he came as a surprise given his genki and generally upbeat attitude. Dazai’s route and a few of his stories in the JPN ver make it abundantly clear that his notion of love versus possession are a little confused. He pursues MC’s affections in Dazai’s route, but there’s plenty of evidence that he loves her for reasons that don’t really make a lot of sense? He knows nothing about her beyond her involvement with Vlad’s enemy, and goes to great lengths to seek out her attention/company. This escalates to the point where he openly agrees to help Dazai commit suicide for the sole purpose of “saving” MC from the despair of losing the man she’s fallen in love with. He even goes on to agree to murder Dazai in the past to answer that fervent need for her exclusive love. When MC comes to rescue Dazai, Charles is forced to confront the true nature of his feelings, and later develops what might be closer to the concept of real love for her.

Some of his event stories also indicate oddly manipulative behavior intended to guilt or sway MC into keeping all of her attention on him. Whether or not he will turn out to be a complete yandere I’m not sure, but he absolutely has the potential to sway heavily in that direction. He also, however, has the potential to ease toward more sincere, normal love--so his situation remains to be seen. There is also the fact that Vlad is manipulating him heavily with his mental compulsion, so as with Shakespeare I don’t always know how much of it is Charles or Vlad.

As for Vlad? I have...absolutely no defense or hope for this man. All I see is yandere. Granted I have not played his JPN main story so I don’t know what he’s like in love, but I have heard many indications as to his active manipulation of her mind and agency. I really don’t foresee any kind of equal relationship possible between him and the MC. There may be potential for that dynamic to be ironed out, but from the interactions I have seen--his fervent desperation to subjugate humanity and his near constant strangling of his sires’ freedom and self-determination--I sincerely doubt it would be possible for him. Even his turning MC into a vampire (which she indicated was something beyond her comfort zone/wishes in every other route) remains incredibly suspect to me. He is too self-obsessed and possessive to offer any kind of meaningful love.

While this may come as a surprise to many, Comte actually has a very slight yandere bent, but it would not be accurate to call him a yandere. The difference between Comte and Vlad is that Comte always sees these burgeoning desires within him and distances himself from being compelled to act on them to extremes. He admits to not wanting to share his MC with any of the men in the mansion, even though he’s well aware the house is like one big family; there’s no real risk to his love for her or necessity to be jealous. When MC gets hit on by another man and Comte finds out about Vlad interacting with her in his harmless florist persona, Comte gets uncharacteristically agitated. While usually measured and rational, his feelings tend to overtake him for a few minutes before he calms again--usually with reassurance of MC’s feelings for him. Furthermore Comte doesn’t usually exhibit the overwhelming violence and aggression that yanderes tend toward. And Comte doesn’t really limit her interactions with other people unless they are a sizable threat to her safety and well-being. The closest thing I can think of is his relentless buying her outfits as a means to appease his slightly possessive nature (adorning her in his colors), but even then when she tells him no he fully respects her wishes and stops. So he really only reflects potential for the sensibility, nothing concrete. In the end he’s still the more indulgent deredere type like Leonardo, just a little more balanced and possessive.

[angelsdemonsducks]

you don't like the ending (we'll find one that's yours)

“Logan,” Virgil says, softly, slowly, “you do know that you’re allowed to be a person, right?”

In the aftermath: Logan, Virgil, and things that have gone unsaid for far too long.

(ao3 link)

When all is said and done, Logan sits in his room for a little while, hands folded neatly in his lap, staring at the ceiling. It’s painted with a star map, charting the cosmos: Ursa Major by Ursa Minor, Perseus reaching for Andromeda, Canis Major ever lapping at Orion’s heels. They glow with a bright, otherworldly light against a black backdrop, and they change as the seasons turn, too, change and wheel overhead as the real night sky does. 

Though, of course, the night sky does not actually change. Just the human perspective of it. Stars are ever-constant; it is the Earth that is not, human perception that is flawed.

Roman helped him set it up, years ago. The remembrance lies bitter and heavy on his chest.

He is not hurt. He is not hurt, because he does not feel. There is a pounding in his head that refuses to abate and a stinging in his eyes that blurs his vision, but such physical reactions will stop eventually, if he ignores them for long enough. He is practiced in this, by now. He is not hurt. 

He firmly believes that there is nothing that cannot be solved with the application of the scientific method. This past hour is no different. As with all else, it can be analyzed through the lens of conducting an experiment.

He lays out the memories neatly in his mind for review.

Hypothesis: His physical presence and interaction with the other sides is not necessary for Thomas to maintain a healthily logical existence.

There are too many variables for this to be considered a controlled setting. All of the others have so many emotions, and as such, are prone to outbursts and unpredictability that may skew any data collected. He is accustomed to this, after all this time, and has learned to set his expectations accordingly. But there are two variables that can be defined with little difficulty: the independent and dependent variable. The variable that he manipulates, and the variable that changes due to this manipulation.

Independent variable: His presence in the discussion. Keeping in line with the video game theme the others seem to be holding to, he presents himself as an information-dispensing “NPC,” or “non-player character,” as he understands the definition to be, in an effort to be less intrusive in the conversation. Half the time, he does not bother to speak.

Dependent variable: How Thomas, Patton, and Roman react to this method of interaction.

It is difficult to collect data for this variable. There are no numbers to record, nothing that is quantifiable. He has to rely purely on qualitative data, collected based on observation and description. It is discomfiting, how much room for error and misinterpretation that leaves, but he is confident in his ability to be a passive, unbiased researcher. He records what he observes and nothing more.

Data: They seem tentatively interested in the beginning, curious about the novelty of his chosen method, if nothing else. Roman even takes the time to read the text box aloud. But the intrigue soon wanes. He is cut off both literally and figuratively, skipped, dismissed at every turn. When they allow him to speak, it is with begrudging toleration. When he offers silent information, they ignore him. When Deceit takes his place, they do not notice the difference.

His hands clench into fists, ever so briefly. He stares at the ceiling. At the shining stars that Roman helped him to paint so long ago as he grinned and chattered about nothing in particular, paint splattered on his clothes and all across his face. Roman is always so fussy about his appearance that Logan had thought that existing in such a disheveled state would irritate him, but when he pointed it out, Roman laughed, reached out, and swiped his paint-coated thumb across his cheek, loudly proclaiming that now, they matched. And Logan felt so warm, inside and out, despite the fact that he keeps his room at a cool twenty degrees Celsius.

This is a digression. Completely irrelevant to the experiment at hand. He pulls himself back to the pertinent memories.

From the data, results can be extrapolated. It is a simple matter of deciding whether the information gathered supports or refutes the hypothesis. He has collected more than enough observations to make a decision.

Conclusion: All data suggests

His mind stalls. He shakes his head. This should be easy. Data from experimentation, and conclusions from data. That is how the scientific method works.

Conclusion: All data suggests that the hypothesis is correct, and that his presence is neither necessary nor especially welcome amongst the others. His duty can be safely performed from a distance. Further experimentation will be needed to determine the best way in which to do so.

His eyes trace the patterns of the constellations, steadfast and sure, and he thinks about his failures. Thinks about how he attempted to be as unobtrusive as possible, how he ensured that if his input was unwanted, the others would be able to ignore him, to block him out. He gave them the option, so even if he were capable of feeling upset, he should not be. He should not care that they do not care, that they listen to him when it is convenient for them and discard him when it is not.

He doesn’t care. It was simply part of the experiment. It is simply one more hypothesis confirmed. Never mind that he was not actually attempting to conduct an experiment at the time. Approaching this issue in this manner imposes order on disordered, messy thoughts, forces him to think objectively.

Logan sits in his room, and he breathes.

Then, there is a knock at his door, rushed and urgent. He frowns. After how that disaster ended, he would have thought that Patton would be with Roman. And… he’s almost sure it wouldn’t be Deceit-- or should he be calling him by his name now? He is unsure; he was not present for the admission, which may imply a lack of permission, but Deceit confessed in front of Thomas, which may in fact imply blanket permission for all the occupants of his mindscape.

A dilemma to ponder later, perhaps. He stands, rolling his shoulders back, and crosses his room to the door. He opens it, and it’s not Patton, and it’s certainly not Deceit.

It’s Virgil.

He’s pale and hunched over, shoulders set defensively. His eyes are red, as if he’s been crying, and Logan opens his mouth to query as to whether there is something he can help him with. He did think it odd, that Virgil chose not to involve himself in the discussion at all, though clearly he has been affected by it to some degree. Of course, Patton is really the one to go to with issues of the emotional kind, but perhaps he tried and found Patton to be busy with Roman. Logan is a poor substitute, but if Virgil desires his help, then he will try his best.

“Virgil,” he says. “Is there something I can do for you?”

For a long moment, Virgil stares at him. Stares, and says nothing.

“Can I come in?” he asks at last.

Logan furrows his brow, but stands aside so that he is no longer blocking the door. “Of course,” he says, and Virgil slips past him and into his room. After a moment of hesitation, he closes the door behind him and turns to face Virgil, who stands in the center of the room, looking up at the ceiling. He looks small, somehow, and lost.

“How are you?” Logan tries. “I understand that there were some topics raised in that discussion that may have left you uncomfortable, assuming that you were listening to it, and I can’t imagine that you were particularly pleased with all aspects of the outcome. Is there anything that you would like to talk about?”

Virgil stares at the ceiling for a moment longer, and then looks to Logan. Logan is taken aback by the expression of devastation that flickers across his face, the sorrow in his eyes and downturned corners of his mouth.

He is expecting him to say something about Roman’s outburst, or about the perils of trusting Deceit as Thomas seems ready to do, but what comes out of his mouth instead is,

“Can I, um, hug you?”

Logan blinks. Plays back the memory in his mind to ascertain that no, he did not mishear. And then, uncertainly, he spreads his arms.

Virgil does not often ask for physical affection, though he is less shy about it now than he once was.

“Yes, certainly,” he says, “though, you know that Patton is--”

He is cut off by Virgil all but launching himself into his arms; all the breath escapes his lungs in a single gust. Virgil’s arms snake around his back, holding him tightly, and he buries his face in his shoulder. For a moment, Logan is completely at a loss; he does not seek out hugs because he does not need them, and typically, nobody asks him for one. In fact, he can’t quite recall the last time that he had such extended physical contact with someone.

It takes a few seconds for him to react, to bring his arms up to encircle Virgil in turn.

“I don’t want Patton,” Virgil mumbles into Logan’s shirt. “I want you.”

“I--” Logan blinks a few times, rapidly, in succession. Because surely, that does not make any sense. Patton is, objectively, the best at hugging out of all of them-- though, actually, now that he considers it, should Deceit be considered for the position, by virtue of having three pairs of arms? Would that make for a more efficient hug, if there were more arms to perform the action? How would one go about measuring such a thing?

Regardless, Patton is certainly the most practiced at giving comfort, and as the center of Thomas’ emotions, it can be assumed that he has the best mindset for it. Why, then, would Virgil claim to seek him for comfort rather than Patton?

“I’m not sure that I understand,” he admits softly, and Virgil pulls back a bit, enough so that they are face to face, though he doesn’t let go entirely. His hands are gripping Logan’s shirt so tightly that they are sure to leave wrinkles.

“I care about you,” Virgil says fiercely. “I care about you so goddamn much. And I want to spend time with you. I never, ever want you to spare me your company, or whatever the fuck that was all about in there.”

He feels a sudden, deep urge to adjust his glasses, to fiddle with his tie, to do something to place distance between himself and Virgil. But somehow, he can’t bring himself to let go of his grip on Virgil’s back. “I… see,” he says, a bit helplessly, even though he does not see, at all. “Is this about what I said to the others? That wasn’t--”

“That wasn’t what?” Virgil interrupts. “That wasn’t what you meant? Just because I wasn’t participating doesn't mean I wan’t listening. It was pretty obvious that you did mean it, Logan.”

Logan frowns. He is growing tired of being interrupted today. Logically, there is no difference between when the others did it and when Virgil does it, except for the fact that he is physically interacting with Virgil, so there is no reason for his sudden... exhaustion. That’s all it is. Exhaustion.

He’s not sure why he expected Virgil to let him finish his sentence.

“I was going to say that it wasn’t important,” he corrects. “I--”

“No,” Virgil cuts in again, and he must react visibly, because Virgil grimaces apologetically. “I’m sorry for talking over you,” he adds, voice a bit softer. “But I kinda don’t think you’re going to let me say what I need to say if I don’t, because you’re wrong, Logan. You are so, so important.”

“I was not attempting to imply otherwise,” Logan replies. “I never said that I wasn’t important. I am very aware that I am important. With an absence of Logic, Thomas’ life would surely devolve into chaos. I am well aware that my fulfillment of my duties is necessary for Thomas to live healthily and successfully.”

For some reason, this only seems to upset Virgil more. “No,” he repeats, frustrated. “I’m not talking about Logic. I’m talking about you, Logan, as a person. You are important.”

Is… he speaking circularly on purpose? What exactly is he trying to say? Usually, he finds Virgil to be refreshingly clear when compared to the other sides, so this interaction so far has been oddly frustrating.

“I’m not certain I understand what you’re attempting to convey.” He pauses. “What is the difference between me and Logic? I am Logic.”

“You’re Logic,” Virgil says, “but you’re Logan, too, and, and I just wanted to make sure that you were okay, because they kept talking over you and shutting you up and you didn’t even go and argue with them in person and then you said that, and I got--” He pauses-- “scared.”

Logan believes in the pursuit of knowledge, in enlightenment over ignorance. But somehow, some part of him dreads asking what Virgil means.

“Scared of what?”

For a moment, Virgil is silent, and something like panic flickers on his face. Then, he closes his eyes and breathes. Logan recognizes the pattern: in for four seconds, hold for seven, out for eight.

“I’m scared that you don’t know how much we love you,” Virgil says, opening his eyes. His voice is quiet and nervous and vulnerable. “How much I love you.”

For a moment, all he can register is Virgil’s arms around him: their weight, their warmth. That, and the silence in his room. 

Evidence shows that stars produce sounds, though not any that fall within the human range of hearing. The stars on his ceiling, however, are utterly mute.

“I don’t understand,” he says weakly. “I--”

“Logan--”

But no, he has had enough of being overridden. There is only so much he can take before something has to give, and he reached that limit over an hour ago, about when Roman slashed through his contribution like it meant nothing, when Patton pressed skip as if he meant nothing, when Deceit yanked him out of frame and replaced him, and he didn’t bother to put up a fight because no one was listening to him and if he couldn't accomplish anything by speaking, maybe he could by shutting up since that seemed to be what everyone wanted anyway--

And now Virgil is here, saying what? It doesn’t follow, logically, and if there is anything which Logan cannot abide, it is faulty logic.

“No,” he says, and Virgil, mercifully, allows him to talk. “No, that doesn’t make sense. If there is anything that has become glaringly apparent recently, it is that none of you want or care for my presence. No, I’m not done,” he adds, cutting off Virgil’s protest before it can begin. “I am not upset about it. I do not get upset. But logically speaking, the fact that I cannot impart even the most basic of facts before I am interrupted or overruled points to the conclusion that none of you particularly care about what I have to say. Which is, and I will reiterate this point, fine, as I do not need any of you to like me in order to perform my function adequately.”

Virgil stares at him, and then steps back, releasing Logan entirely.

“Oh my god,” he says. “That’s not fine.”

Logan sighs.

“Didn’t I just say that it is?” he asks. “There’s no need for you to be experiencing emotional distress over this matter, Virgil.”

“You just told me that you think none of us care about you, and you think I’m not going to experience some fucking emotional distress?” Virgil stops suddenly, shaking his head. “Wait, no, this isn’t about me. Logan, we’ve been treating you like shit. You’re… you can be upset about it. You know that, right? Because it’s not fine, it is so far past fine that we are in, like, Canada or some shit, and you don’t have to act like it’s fine.”

“I am not ‘acting like it’s fine,’” he says. “It is fine, and I’m not upset. I do not get upset. I’ve told you this. I don’t understand--”

“You do get upset, Logan, you are literally getting upset right now, and that’s okay, you can be upset, you have every right to be upset--”

It’s one interruption too many.

“I am not upset!”

The shout hangs in the air long after the words have left his lips. His chest is heaving, he notes dimly, and his hands are clenched. His ears are ringing, too, and his head pounds.

Oh.

Oh, no. He can’t do this. He can’t do this, and he especially can’t do this now, with Virgil in the room, because he is not supposed to be like this. He has tried so hard not to be like this, has tried so hard to be the cool, rational embodiment of logic that he is supposed to be, but somehow, he continually fails. But it is impossible to reverse time, impossible to erase the outburst now that it has been vocalized, so he stands there, shaking slightly, finding it harder and harder to meet Virgil’s eyes.

“I am not supposed to get upset,” he says eventually, to end the silence more than anything else. “I… apologize. That was unseemly of me.”

“Logan,” Virgil says, softly, slowly, “you do know that you’re allowed to be a person, right?”

He blanks.

“We’re not people,” he says weakly. “We are facets of the personality of a person. My job is to be logical. I’m just trying to do my job.”

Virgil closes his eyes and breathes in his pattern again. Then, he opens them and steps closer. He reaches for Logan’s hands, taking both of them in his own and worrying at the fingers until they begin to relax. Logan stares at them, at his hands in Virgil’s, at Virgil sweeping his thumb across his knuckles slowly and methodically.

“Then let’s look at it logically,” Virgil says. He speaks in that same low tone of voice. It reminds Logan of a nature documentary, one where the narrator uses a soothing, gentle cadence so as not to scare the animals. “Alright?”

Logan nods. He doesn’t trust himself to speak.

“If we’re all just supposed to do our jobs,” Virgil says, “our jobs and absolutely nothing else, then I would be anxious all the time, right? I mean, I already am, mostly, but that would mean that I would only be able to feel anxious. No positive emotions, no happiness. Everything that’s been so good about the past few years, with you guys, I wouldn’t be able to have that. Do you think that’s how it should be?”

His voice remains gentle, but for their impact, he may as well be shouting.

“Of course not!” Logan says. The very idea is incredibly displeasing. “But that’s different.”

“Okay, how is it different?”

“Your ability to feel positive emotions does not hamper your ability to perform your basic function. You can be both happy and anxious, at the same time or at different times. The two are not mutually exclusive.” He shakes his head. “I need to be logical, to be rational, and that is everything that emotions are not. If I allow myself to feel, then I allow my judgement to be clouded, and Thomas cannot afford to have a Logic with clouded judgement.”

Virgil frowns. “But that’s just it,” he says. “You have emotions. You’re not stopping yourself from having emotions. No one can do that. You’re just refusing to acknowledge that you have them. Doesn’t that kind of repression cloud your judgement more?”

His mouth goes very dry. He feels as though his heart has stopped, which is ridiculous, because he knows full well that his heart is functioning properly. It seems to be the rest of him that has stopped working. Drawing breath is becoming increasingly difficult, for some reason, which is frustrating because there is absolutely nothing physically wrong with him and thus, no reason for this reaction.

Virgil… has to be wrong. He’s not repressing anything. One cannot repress something that one does not possess. But then, the point of repression is to make oneself believe that one does not possess something, or that one has not done something, so if one is skilled enough at repression, one might not know that they are in the act of repressing. Which would make one an unreliable narrator, which is a disturbing concept to contemplate, because if one cannot rely on one’s own perception of reality, then what can one trust?

Human perception is so, so flawed. He cannot afford flawed perception.

“I’m not repressing anything,” he says. His voice is a reedy whisper even to his own ears. He can’t imagine he sounds very convincing. “That’s what Patton does.”

Virgil quirks a brow. “Yeah, Teach, I don’t think that’s a, uh. What did you say? Mutually exclusive? I don’t think that’s a mutually exclusive thing. Patton doesn’t have a monopoly on repression.”

“But I’m Logic,” he insists. “There’s nothing there to repress.”

Virgil pauses, and for a moment, Logan thinks that he is about to concede the argument. For some reason, it feels like a hollow victory. 

But then, Virgil draws him into another hug. He leans into it, unresisting, but his arms won’t move to return it.

“You’re Logan,” Virgil says softly. “You’re not just Logic, and you’re not a robot. You’ve gotta let yourself be human, buddy.”

“I’m not-- I can’t--” His voice catches, breaks, and he realizes with a rising horror that he has begun to cry. He has begun to cry, and it’s humiliating, because he doesn’t know why, because he’s not sad, not at all, because he doesn’t--

He doesn’t--

He doesn’t feel--

Oh.

Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, god.

He’s such a failure.

“No, no, shh, you’re not a failure,” Virgil says, and that’s just another figurative nail in the figurative coffin, isn’t it, that he’s speaking aloud without even realizing that he’s doing it. “You are the furthest thing from a failure that I know. You’re so good, Logan. Feeling things isn’t a failure. You have to let yourself feel.”

“I don’t know how,” Logan says, broken, almost gasping. He doesn’t want to be saying these things. He feels like he’s losing control, and he’s so terrified. “I’ve never known how. I have to be taken seriously, Virgil, I can’t afford not to be taken seriously--”

There. The admission is out there, out in the world, out in this world that is just the two of them, just him and Virgil locked in an embrace, just him and Virgil as his tears leak onto the fabric of Virgil’s hoodie. Once spoken, they cannot be unspoken, and Logan feels--

He feels--

Oh, how he feels, and how wrong it is--

“I promise, that’s not going to happen,” Virgil says. “You’re allowed to have emotions. No one will think any less of you.”

Is this what devastation is? Is this what a tsunami feels like as it sweeps across the land, washing civilization away? His chest is tight and hot and his eyes are burning and his ears are ringing, and he’s felt this way all along but he’s refused to acknowledge that it was happening because he is Logic and Logic is not feelings, is not listened to even when he’s not displaying unbecoming emotions, so how can he possibly think that letting himself feel would be a good idea?

He doesn’t want to feel like this.

He’s felt like this for so long.

“You already think less of me!” he says. “You, you all, you never listen to what I say, you always tell me to shut up or you ignore me or I can tell that I irritate you even when I’m specifically trying not to be irritating and I don’t know what to do because nothing I try ever works.”

Virgil makes a wounded noise deep in the back of his throat, and his grip on Logan tightens.

“We owe you so many apologies,” he says. “I am so, so sorry, Logan. I am so sorry that we made you feel like we didn’t care. I am so sorry that we haven’t been listening. I am so fucking sorry that we made you feel like you needed to not have emotions just to be heard. I am so sorry.”

And Logan lets go. His breath hitches and chokes on a sob, and he doesn’t hold it back, doesn’t swallow it down and try to forget the urge was ever there in the first place.

He buries his face in Virgil’s shoulder and lets himself cry.

“I’m trying,” he gasps between sobs, “I’m trying so hard but I can’t--”

“I know,” Virgil says. “I know. You’re doing so good. I know we’ve all been shit at showing it, but we love you, Logan, really, and we’re here for you. We’re gonna do better, I swear.”

In this moment, Logan allows himself to believe that Virgil cares. He believes in what his senses can absorb, and the evidence is undeniable; it is in Virgil’s arms around him, holding him safe, in Virgil’s low, emphatic words and the way he sounds as if he, too, is near tears, as if Logan is someone worth crying over.

It occurs to him, then, that Virgil did not come here seeking comfort. He came here to offer comfort to him. All he has to do is accept it. And he shouldn’t need it, shouldn’t want it, because he is Logic and Logic does not need comforting or reassurance, but he’s far past that point already, is already weeping into Virgil’s shoulder, so perhaps it is too late to go back. The thought frightens him.

He doesn’t know how to feel. Has never known how to feel, has always thought that it would be better for himself and everyone, better for Thomas if he just. Didn’t. But Virgil says that he can, and though Virgil can be wrong, he despises deception. Virgil wouldn’t lie to him.

Perhaps this can be a start.

His arms come up, and he hugs Virgil back. Presses up close to him and revels in the warmth even as he cries.

“The others,” he says, “they don’t, they don’t like me and they don’t listen--”

“We’ll talk to them,” Virgil says. “You and me, once you’re feeling better, okay? We’ll make this right. Your feelings are valid and your contributions are important, and we’re gonna remind them about that.” His grip tightens, and when he speaks again, it’s in a whisper, as if to himself. “You’re not alone. I know how shitty it feels to think you are, but you’re not. And you’re not ever going to be.”

And Logan, shivering and shaking in Virgil’s arms, tears still crawling down his cheeks, looks up at the ceiling. At the stars, bright and constant, like a promise.

“Okay,” he whispers, and he decides to believe, if only this one more time.

Hypothesis: They care. And I am allowed to care, too.

Conclusion: Pending.

[jenoptimist]

request:

✨Can I request something with haechan ✨

✮ Pairing: donghyuck x reader (gender neutral)

✮ Genre: adventure | fantasy | fluff

✮ Word Count: 7.2k

♡ Yakult says: sorry this took so long nonie! i do hope that you enjoy it, even though it’s, uh, probably not what you had in mind rip

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The vial of the yarrow flower essence that you were brewing had reached the perfect temperature, finally allowing you to pour it into the cauldron with the point of your index finger. The remaining ingredient hadn’t been brought to you yet but you knew that Chenle and Jisung, the most recent additions to your ragtag coven, were on their way.

Behind you, the others were speaking to one another in hushed, panicked voices but you didn’t want to think negatively. Yes, you were under pressure. Yes, he had been taken a week prior but Minhyung would be fine; he was voted as the head of your coven for a reason. Jeno was doing a great job as his substitute but you could tell that he was under severe stress–his training wasn’t completed yet after all.

You spun around when the door opened. Chenle and Jisung barged in, both looking a little worse for wear. Chenle dodged the others and made a beeline towards you, opening his satchel to retrieve the golden silk pouch. Jisung collapsed on your coach, releasing a groan that had Jaemin - who was highly proficient in healing magic - jumping to his feet in order to tend to him immediately.

“Hopefully this is enough,” Chenle said as he placed the pouch gently on top of your outstretched palm. With a groan that matched Jisung’s, he clutched his side and added, “there were so many after it.” When you gave him your thanks, he lazily saluted at you before staggering over to the couch, dropping beside Jisung the moment he was a mere centimetres away from it. Renjun was quick to follow him.

Your eyes scanned the room until you locked stares with Jeno, who nodded at you. Quickly spinning around, you sat down in front of your desk and get to work. You took an extreme amount of care while you funneled the fine and shimmery powder-like material. Although it was a slightly difficult feat, considering just how light it really was, you managed to succeed in making sure none of it would be blown away somehow. Stardust was a rare thing; it could only be obtained when a shooting star occurred which, unfortunately, was highly uncommon and have been for centuries. The Universe must have been in you favor because when Chenle used his Vision to see whether or not you would be able to obtain the necessary ingredients the first time around, he gave you a dejected negative. It was only a few hours later when he was granted a Vision that showed him and Jisung managing to collect the stardust. Thinking back to their conditions, you didn’t want to know what measures they had to take to ensure that they were the ones who had gotten it.

With one last stir, the pale colored mixture was complete. Waiting with a bated breath, you stared at the cauldron with impatience. Apparently the mixture was supposed to provide an object that would be both warm and bright that could be used against those who kidnapped Minhyung.

“Well?” Jaemin asked curiously from somewhere behind you, presumably still attending to whatever injuries Jisung had been subjected to.

Your mouth twisted. “Nothing’s happened.” You stretched your hand out, thought of the particular book you wanted and once it was in your grasp, you flipped through the pages to find the potion you used. “We’ve done everything it says here.” You sighed as you dropped your book on the desk. “I don’t know where I went wrong.”

A hand was placed on your shoulder. “It’s alright, y/n,” Jeno said soothingly. He peered over you shoulder so that he could inspect the page that it was opened on. “What does this say?” He asked curiously as he took his hand off your shoulder and pointed at something that was scribbled sloppily towards the end of the page.

“I don’t know, either.” It was in the language that your father spoke. You never learned it since you grew up speaking Common. When you were given the book by your mother, she never told you what it translated to in Common. Probably because she didn’t speak the language, either. “It’s probably nothing important.” Or at least you hoped it wasn’t.

Jeno hummed in consideration. “Since this didn’t work, we’ll meet up tomorrow and come up with something else.”

When they filed out of your small home, saying their goodbyes and touching the runes that they carved on the door frame, you couldn’t help but stare at the liquid in your cauldron with hard eyes. It didn’t make any sense! You had followed it word for word yet it didn’t work! Time was running out and you didn’t know how Minhyung was coping–there was a block in your connection that made you feel like you were missing a limb. You really, really needed this spell to work. From your research, nothing else could help your coven against the vampires that kidnapped him.

What the vampires wanted with Minhyung, or your coven in general, you didn’t know. There hadn’t been a word from them. In fact, the more you thought about it, the more you didn’t want to know. You just wanted him back. 

Determined, you waved for numerous books to stack themselves on your desk. Grabbing some parchment and your writing equipment, you sat down and flipped open the book at the top of the stack. You would find something. Anything. You’d make sure of it.

The following morning, you found yourself startling awake with an ache in your neck and a piece of parchment stuck to your right cheek. You groaned as you removed it and placed it on your desk, refusing to look at it–none of the ideas and information you wrote on it would be of any use. You yawned as you stretched, trying to rid yourself of the stiffness you felt in your shoulders.

Frustratingly, you had found nothing that could aid you on your quest to retrieve Minhyung. So many books and they were useless. You sighed heavily. A cup of your favorite herbal tea would do you some good and then you would resume your research. You were just about to make your way to your kitchen when you noticed a strange man on your couch from the corner of your eye. You turned to face him head on, to do what you didn’t know, and—! 

Correction, there was a strange naked man. Your jaw almost dropped in shock. What in the world?!

Jeno was so much more skilled at offensive spells than you were and, in that very moment, you wished that you strengthened your skills in that area. It certainly would have helped in situations such as this. Reaching your hand out for your iron skillet, anxiety and adrenaline flooding through your system as it floated towards you, you crept closer to the couch. With a firm grip on the handle - just in case he made any unsavory movements - you shook his shoulder roughly in an attempt to wake him up. There was no reaction, not even a twitch. After a moment, you poked him on his torso with the edge of the skillet yet there was still nothing. With a frown, you slightly lowered your arm. He wasn’t dead–his chest was moving up and down in an even rhythm. If he had come to harm you, for whatever reason, surely he wouldn’t have been knocked out on your couch?

With that thought, you lowered your arm fully and inched closer in order to inspect him closely. Tufts of honey caramel blond hair in waves that curled at the nape of his neck and beautifully bronzed skin, lengthy eyelashes and a cupid’s bow that lead to plush lips. As your graze traveled lower, you caught the defined shape of his collarbones and the strong build of his chest–he wasn’t stocky, in fact he was more lean. You didn’t allow your eyes to travel any lower than his ribs, wanting him to have a semblance of privacy. One thing was certain; you had never come across a person like him. There was something about his aura that was exceptionally warm and bright.

You frowned. Warm and bright. Warm and bright. Warm and bright! Cogs turning in your head, you looked towards the direction of your desk where the cauldron sat and tipped it over with the sway of your fingertips. It was empty. You looked towards the stranger again. Was it possible that he was the one that could help you with the dilemma and not an actual object like you originally thought it was?

Releasing the skillet, willing it to return to its position on the pot rack above the sink, you snapped your fingers for one of your thicker blankets and covered the man. You then called for your familiar - a crow that camouflaged against the night sky - and told her to send a message to the rest of the coven. With a gentle stroke of her feathers, she flew off.

The others were in your home in no time, practically shoving themselves through the door and took on the stances that they used when you all came across danger. They never took their eyes off of the sleeping man while they stepped further inside. You held off a fond smile, choosing to watch your familiar settle into her place near the window.

“It’s alright,” you said after a moment, breaking the silence. “I’m pretty sure he’s exactly what we need.”

“Y/n,” Renjun hissed lowly, like the man would awaken if he spoke any louder, “there’s a massive crater right outside. He could have caused it.”

Your brows furrowed. Massive crater? With a fleeting look at the stranger, you weaved through the boys to get to the door. Once you opened it, you were stunned. Numerous trees had collapsed and there was a very obvious circle shaped impact on the grass, ruining some of the flowers and herbs that you were growing. You shut the door quickly, ensuring to lock it before you resumed your position by the desk.

“Well I don’t think he’s dangerous.” You announced, aiming for confidence in your tone. Not quite managing but you hoped that it was convincing enough. Jeno slid his gaze away from the man to meet your eyes. The corners of his lips curled downwards which earned him a stern look. He lifted his brows and you shrugged, head tilting towards the stranger in return. 

“If y/n says that they don’t think he’s dangerous, then we should believe them.” Jeno said decisively. The others immediately began protesting. “But we’ll keep an eye on him, just in case.”

It had been hours of bouncing possible plans off each other and the stranger didn’t even so much as turn while he slept. The boys had agreed to spend the night in your small home, not trusting the man even though you argued that he wouldn’t have been able to pass the doorway had he any ill intentions.

After what seemed like eons, the stranger began to stir. The boys - who’s eyes were all drooping as they sat on the ground, half playing cards while the other half read their books to entertain themselves - sat up, not a drop of tiredness in their forms as they watched him slowly sit up with hawk eyes. At first he seemed confused but as he looked around the room, eyes lingering on each boy, his expression became neutral. After a look at each of them, his gaze zeroed in on you.  

“You,” he said, voice rough with disuse. The others slightly shifted forward, Jaemin moving in a way that meant you would be half covered by him. “You’re the one who called for me?” At the jerk of your head, he hummed. He was about to stand although seemed to think better of it, covering his chest with the blanket in a way that seemed self-conscious. “Could I have some clothes please?”

“What’s your name?” Jeno asked after Renjun handed the man some clothes.

“You can call me”–he paused, head tilted as he thought–“Haechan.” 

“Is that your real name?” Jisung questioned dubiously.

There was mischief in his eyes as his mouth stretched into a wide grin. “No,” he walked around the room, making you feel slightly self-conscious as he hummed at some of the items you owned. “Do you have any food? I’m hungry.”

Jaemin was the one who piped up this time. “Will you be able to help us?”

“Well, of course I will. After all the trouble you went through to summon me.” The last part was said with a knowing look at Chenle and Jisung.

The plan was discussed over a big dinner. In the end the plan was that one of you would travel with Haechan - Jaemin had reasoned that any more would seem like a threat - to where you suspected that the vampires kept Minhyung–it was well known that vampires were uncreative, so it was likely that they kept him somewhere high up in the cliffs, just off the mountains. Once the two of you were at the location, Haechan would use the alleged powers that he possessed and Minhyung would be reunited with your coven in no time. It seemed simple enough. However, as with all plans, there was one flaw and that was their whereabouts; Chenle wasn’t able to use his Sight to figure it out and because the tie you felt with Minhyung was currently unavailable, it would be a guessing game of which cliffs in particular. Haechan then mentioned in passing that he could locate them without a problem, and with that, the plan was decided. All there was left to do was choose the people to carry it out.

“I’ll go,” Jeno said, squaring his shoulders. “I’m the best at offensive spells.”

“But because you’re the best, you should stay here. Just in case something happens.” Renjun countered.

Haechan watched impassively as the boys volunteered themselves, bringing up their attributes that would assist greatly during the journey. Just as you were about to volunteer your own assistance, he locked eyes with you again. The intensity of it made you shift slightly, fiddling with your napkin on the table.

“They’re going.” He said decisively as he nodded at your direction, effectively silencing the room. In unison, the others immediately snapped their heads his way. “I’m not going if they’re not.” The statement was said in a matter-of-fact tone with a slight smirk.

Renjun looked seconds away from starting an argument. “That’s alright with me.” You agreed quickly, wanting to avoid an increase in tension in the already strained atmosphere. You gave them a reassuring smile, “I’ll be fine.”

After some displeased grumbling, Jeno nodded. “Alright, now that that’s sorted, when do you want to leave?”

“I travel better at night.” Haechan commented. You looked at him in curiosity but he did nothing except wink at you.

“Tonight, then?” You suggested. “The sooner the better, right?”

Surprisingly, there was little resistance at your idea. Soon enough the two of you were on your way, necessary belongings on a bag your back. Your familiar was soaring against the wind above you. The air was growing chillier by the second. You would have brought your cloak for an extra layer of warmth but Jisung had said something about being obvious, that both of you needed to blend in the background in the event that you came across other beings. Although he mentioned that he knew Minhyung’s location, it was still strange to see Haechan be the one who lead your duo. There was confidence in his stride as he lead; a couple of turns here and there, plowing straight ahead when you reached the area before the thickest part of the forest. It was probably only a strange experience because you were used to Minhyung leading. 

You had to wonder what sort of powers he possessed for him to be able to locate their whereabouts with little difficulty.

“So,” you began as you stared at the crackling fire. The two of you had decided that you deserved a break after five hours of non-stop walking. Your familiar had gone to search for something to feed on, leaving the two of you to set up camp. Food wouldn’t be a problem for the moment since you packed some with you. “You were the one who created the crater outside my house, right?” 

The corner of Haechan’s lifted. “You’re clever.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Yes, I’m the one who created the crater, y/n.” He confirmed after a chuckle. 

“I knew it!” You looked around, gestured him to lean closer to you. From up close, you noticed how there seemed to be sparkles in his pupils. Was he what you thought he was? Probably. The evidence connected seamlessly; from his aura, the empty cauldron and the crater. If you raised your suspicion, would he answer truthfully? You hoped so. “Are you a star?” You finally whispered. Stars were a thing of legend and, until now, you were in two minds about whether you believed that once every couple of hundred years, one would shoot from the sky. There were tales of them posing as a human and adapting to society; some were said to have families and everything, effectively gaining the full human experience.

“Very clever,” Haechan said with a nod of confirmation. With a calculating scan of your face, he asked, “what do you want to know?”

You wanted to know absolutely everything that he could tell you. Like how old the universe really was - and in turn, how old he was - and whether or not the myths about stars were true. There were other questions, too, and Haechan answered them all patiently, thoroughly covering each topic that you brought up, looking amused. By the time your familiar returned, satisfaction evident in the way she immediately perched on a branch, you and Haechan were something like friends, laughing at a mishap you recounted that involved Jisung, a pond and some geese.

In between your laughter and trading of stories, you noticed that Haechan had been closing the gap in the middle of the two of you ever since you asked him to lean in earlier.

“Cozy?” You said with a grin as your eyes swept back and forth between the two of his, still fascinated by the flecks of sparkles you found in them. His eyes were very pretty. They were softly shaped and you guessed that if he were smiling - a real one, not the half smiles he had been shooting at you - they would turn into crescents.

“Extremely!” Haechan replied loudly, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you even closer.

You fought a smile as you shrugged his arm off and went to grab some berries from you bag on the opposite side. You stuck your tongue out at Haechan when he winked at you as you made your way back.

The following day saw the two of you deep in the forest where you were practically dragging a whining Haechan by his wrists. He dug his heels into the soft soil. “I need to sleep! Please! even just a couple of hours. We can travel at night.”

You didn’t want to stop. Minhyung was possibly in grave danger, there was no time for frequent breaks. Although you thought back to two days ago when he said that he traveled better at night and the fact that he was a star. You glanced at the sky, squinting as the sun hit your eyes.

“We can walk a little further, just to find somewhere better to set up camp. Sound good?”

“Thank Cosmos!” 

While Haechan was sound asleep, your familiar stood guard at a branch as you were practiced some light offensive spells that could prove to be handy. When you had enough of using your spells on unsuspecting sticks and rocks on the ground, you rummaged through your bag to retrieve a book that you brought along. Not that you read much, unable to keep your eyes away from Haechan’s sleeping form. From the two days that you knew him for, he had been nothing but playful and boisterous. Haechan was easy to get along with and he made the journey just that bit enjoyable–you wouldn’t wish for anyone from the coven to be kidnapped again but you were glad that a positive came from the experience. 

When the sky darkened, stars twinkling brightly, Haechan was completely recharged. He chatted the ears off of you, practically skipping ahead of the two of you. Once another handful of hours of trekking had passed, you had grown tired and so you set up camp once more.

“Do you miss it?” It had only been three days but as you stared at the sky, observing how the stares shined, you had to know. “Being a star, I mean. I know it’s only been three days but...” You trailed off, not knowing how to end your sentence.

Haechan hummed, shifting from his position beside you. “Not really? It can get boring, you know, watching all you humans live your lives. I’ve always wanted to experience the things that you all do, like go to the beach or eat cake. It’s why I jumped at the chance when you summoned one of us, they wanted to send someone older.”

“Oh,” you traced a triangle using the stars for each corner with your eyes. “What’s it like being a star?”

“Well one thing is that you’re literally hot all the time and it can get pretty repetitive,” he paused for a while, as if having an inner debate. “Another thing is that it can be lonely”–his voice was low, like he was telling you a secret–“which sounds weird because there are so many of us. We’re surrounded by each other all the time and I love the others, I do, they’re my brothers and sisters but I just feel out of place sometimes, you know?”

“Yeah,” you turned over to your side and startled when you found Haechan already staring at you, his head propped on his elbow. “What does Haechan mean? That can’t be your real name, right?” He did have to think about it after all.

“No it’s not. But do you really want to know?” He gave you another one of his half smiles.  

“Absolutely.” Your eagerness showed in how fast you answered.

“Okay then,” he replied after a chuckle. “It means ‘full sun’. My real name is Donghyuck, or at least that’s what the others call me.”

“Full sun,” you repeated lowly with a smile. “It suits you. Do you want me to keep calling you that or do you prefer Donghyuck?”

 “Call me what you want.”

The rest of the night was spent speaking face to face, keeping your voices low in case of any possible intruders. The longer you talked, swapping a few secrets every now and again, the more it seemed that Donghyuck was glowing and at first you thought it was exhaustion catching up with you, however the somewhat dim glow slowly but surely turned into a bright one as the conversation continued to flow. When you brought it up, curiosity getting the best of you, Donghyuck had swiftly changed the topic, his ears pink. You thought about his adorably shy smile before you shut your eyes to go to sleep.

Another handful of days had passed and eventually it had been a little over a week since this whole operation began. The two of you were nowhere near the end of the forest but you were making great progress, so great that your familiar trusted your companion to keep you safe while she flew back to update the others. Donghyuck was challenging himself to stay up longer during the day so as to not inconvenience you, too, clearing noticing how late night traveling affected you. It was very thoughtful of him and it had something warm and unfamiliar uncurling inside of you. When you said as much, of course leaving out the warmth you felt, a hint of a smile played at his lips as he glowed.

“I’ve been very good about not asking again,” You said when your laughter died down. The two of you had hopped across a river and Donghyuck had slipped a little and fell in the shallow water. “But I can’t take it anymore.” You watched in amusement as Donghyuck rose slowly, his trousers soaked in different areas, as he laughed along with you. ”What does the glowing mean?” He was doing it again.

That had Donghyuck sobering up quickly, his glow dimming. A shy expression took over his place as he averted his eyes from yours. “Um, well, it happens when–”

The sound of rustling came from somewhere behind you. The two of you froze. As you inched closer to Donghyuck, an arrow whizzed through the air, just about missing your left shoulder. A series of spells ran through your mind before you settled on a simple disarming spell. It would be slightly difficult because you couldn’t pinpoint their exact locations but hopefully it would work out fine. There was a vague noise that indicated that they were successfully disarmed. You swayed your hand up into the air, launching the weapons far away without much thought. It was only then that they made themselves known. They were five women, all of different ages. There was confidence in their stances and a hardness in their eyes that spoke of great experiences. 

You stood directly in front of Donghyuck without a thought, prepared to protect him at all costs. “When I say go, you’re going to make a run for it okay.” You instructed lowly, hoping that the others wouldn’t hear you. There was a spell you had in mind, rested on the tip of your tongue. Donghyuck had managed to let out a word of protest but you were having none of it. “Now!” 

The women launched themselves at you as you began muttering the spell. Unfortunately, you weren’t fast enough and your concentration was broken as they started to physically fight you. You threw some of the light offensive spells that you practiced days prior, managing to throw them off. With a kick to the back of your knees, you were down. There was an arm at your throat in an instant, effectively choking you and making you claw at the owner of the arm as you struggled. Just as your vision began wavering, you vaguely registered Donghyuck’s voice and then you could breathe properly again. 

“I told you to go.” You said with a wince once you finished greedily gulping some air.

With another half smile, he said, “I ran away for a second but then I thought, how could I leave you behind?” 

You huffed, one part frustrated and two parts pleased. “Idiot.”

From there, the women tied you to one another with a thin silver chain. You would have thought them foolish if you hadn’t recognized the chain from one of your books; it was the kind that wouldn’t break no matter what captive did to it. The women formed a pentagon around the two of you, successfully caging both of you in. Although you wanted to break the silence, to demand where they were leading you, you had enough self-preservation to know not to. You huddled closer to Donghyuck when you noticed the woman closest to you glare from the side of her eye when he stumbled over something.

The seven of you kept moving uphill for hours on end and when you reached the gates leading up to a huge manor, it clicked. These women weren’t just a random group of people who wanted to see if either of you were worth anything valuable. No, these women were part of the group that had taken Minhyung. They lead you past the iron gates and through the tall, intricately designed doors and you barely had time to look at the beautiful decor as they lead you through another set of doors. It was there that you saw two men and women seated at the top of the room, some spectators gathered on the sidelines as the five women guided you to the center of the room. Minhyung was nowhere in sight.

“Ah,” one of the men spoke, “so this is him?”

The woman in front stepped to the side and then you felt yourself being shoved from behind, Donghyuck experiencing the same treatment beside you. They weren’t as menacing as you thought they would look. In fact, they looked a little bit like royalty with the way they sat and how they dressed in well fitted suits and beautiful lace gowns. One of the women stared at Donghyuck, her head tilted slightly. There was a distinct look of hunger that shined in her eyes that you didn’t like. Not one bit. 

When you were about to demand for Minhyung’s presence, he stepped out from somewhere behind the four, a man directly behind him. You didn’t like the hand on your friend’s shoulder but Minhyung didn’t appear to be physically harmed in any way, he didn’t even look unkempt. It was confusing to say the least. While you were thankful that he seemed fine, there had to be some sort of catch.

“Are you okay?” You asked hurriedly, your desperation to know his condition overruling whatever self-preservation you had.

Minhyung nodded in affirmative. “We’ve come to an agreement but...” His eyes flickered to Donghyuck as he trailed off. You followed his gaze and found your companion completely composed, shoulders squared as he met Minhyung’s eyes and nodded minutely. What was going on?

“When I said I volunteered to be summoned that was true,” Donghyuck began as Minhyung was allowed to make his way over to you. The women surrounding you released the chains and dispersed, their task evidently completed. “But we’ve always known.” There was a sad smile on his face now and you hated that you saw that before the smile you imagined he would have when he was happy, the one with the pretty crescent shaped eyes.

“Known what?”

“Oh you poor thing,” one of the women at the front spoke, her tone condescending. “He didn’t even tell you?”

Minhyung had finally reached you, squeezing your shoulder as he took the space on your left. In return, you grabbed his hand as you whipped your head to the four at the top of the room, demanding to know what they knew about the whole situation. From your other side, Donghyuck fumbled with his words.

Eventually the other woman cut him off and told you herself. “The blood of a star”–your eyes widened at the blatant exposure of your companion’s true nature, the woman smirking when she noticed–“is very special.” Your stomach dropped, sensing where the conversation was heading. “Stars are made of old magic. Drink even one, tiny drop and the consumer will be overcome with an immense power, regardless of what being they are.”

“But if that’s the case why don’t you just take a drop now so we can go home then?” There was a titter that rippled through the spectators while their leaders looked at you as if you were some stupid, lowly human. Whatever had dropped in your stomach began churning, you began to feel ill when you realized that they were planning to bleed him dry. “No! You’re not going to do that, I won’t let you.”

“Silly witch,” a man from the crowd spat, “it was predestined! Our oracle does not lie.”

Dropping Minhyung’s hand, you turned to face Donghyuck who mirrored your action. “You can’t let them do this! What about the beach and trying cake?” You were well aware of how pathetic you sounded but continued anyway. “We all know that I’m not the best at offensive spells but Minhyung is here and we can defeat them.” There was a rumble from the crowd at your words but you barely acknowledged them, desperately scanning Donghyuck’s face. “You’re my friend. I won’t let this happen to you.” 

Regardless of the fact that you only met the man a little over a week ago, your friendship was still very valid. You’d be damned if you were going to let him go without a fight. There were still things that you wanted him to experience, one being properly introducing him to the others. They would be great friends, you just knew it. At your admission, Donghyuck was openly pleased. The glowing was back again, not as bright as you’ve seen it or anything, it just faintly surrounded him. The gears in your mind were turning again.

“Well isn’t this just precious,” the other leading woman spoke, “the star has-”

You didn’t hear what the rest of what she said, the room suddenly becoming silent as if you have been sucked into a vacuum. In your confusion, you stole a quick glance at her to find her lips moving but no sound coming out of her mouth. “This glamour won’t last long,” Donghyuck said, addressing you and Minhyung. “Minhyung when this drops, which should be in a couple of seconds, I need you to shut your eyes okay? I have a plan.” To you, he said nothing, his right hand came up to caress your cheek. 

“...shame to do this to you, really.” 

The moment her voice came back, the hand on your cheek dropped and you found yourself engulfed in a warm hug. “Trust me?” Donghyuck was glowing brighter as one hand cradled the back of your head while the other was positioned at your lower back. When you said nothing short of, of course I do why would you ask that, the light around him became even brighter. “I’m your friend?” He whispered into your ear, referring to your earlier statement.

“Of course you are, I wouldn’t have said I trust you if you weren’t. If I’m not yours I’ll be thoroughly disappointed and let them eat you.” His chuckle was directly in line with your ear and made you suppress the shiver that wanted to travel down your spine. “If we survive this, I’ll buy you all the cake you want.” 

“Yeah?”

“You bet! And I’ll...” You proceeded to make a bunch of promises, shutting your eyes when you could no longer stand the brightness that he was emitting. As you spoke, your eyes squeezed shut while you enjoyed the warmth, you felt Donghyuck rest his cheek on top of your head. When you had nothing else to say, he began humming softly and swaying the two of you. 

The screams that the two of you had pointedly ignored throughout your conversation had subdued substantially, withering into nothing but pained groans. Part of you wanted to take a peek but you weren’t sure if it was safe to open your eyes yet. The other, slightly larger part of you wanted to continue swaying with Donghyuck for a little bit longer; you found comfort in his arms.

Unfortunately, all good things had to come to an end and so soon enough Donghyuck stopped swaying the two of you and released you from his hold. Within a second, Minhyung joined your duo and began exclaiming how incredible Donghyuck was. As he continued expressing his awe, you drowned him out as you looked around. The vampires had disintegrated into nothing, the only sign of their existence being the numerous piles of clothes that littered the ground. The sight of it made you wince, feel a little sick to your stomach and so you looked back to your friends.

The journey home allowed Minhyung and Donghyuck to become fast friends which was mostly due to the fact that they had similar humor and were both quick witted. Between the banter that the three of you bounced back to one another, it felt as though you were facing your front door quicker than expected. It was your familiar who spotted you first, alerting the others without hesitation which resulted in them surrounding the three of you as the spoke over each other.

You all but face-planted on your couch when you were near enough to do so. Logically, you were aware that you needed to bathe properly and eat whatever comfort food you had in your cupboards but something about travelling for so long to watch vampires end up as nothing did something to your energy levels. Not even a moment later, there were fingers carding through your hair which paired perfectly with the chatter in the background in relaxing you. They were so gentle, like that time you and Donghyuck were comparing hair textures a few nights ago. Maybe it was Donghyuck who was playing with your hair; it certainly was a nice thought and feeling, one that you wouldn’t mind experiencing for the rest of your life. The thought made you shoot up immediately. Donghyuck’s bewildered expression came into view.

“You’re not leaving, are you?” The question came out louder than expected, embarrassingly high pitched, causing the other to stop talking.

“They’re right,” Renjun piped up from somewhere behind you, “you’ve successfully aided us with our problem so there’s no need for you to stay, is there?”

“No,” Donghyuck’s gaze fell to the ground. “But once a star has fallen”–his fingers clutched onto his trousers–“they can’t return.” The statement had an immediate negative effect in the atmosphere and made you tear your eyes away from Donghyuck in order to look at the others pleadingly. 

‘Can he please stay?’ You mouthed at them. After willingly volunteering himself to help, knowing that he would never return to his original state, surely he at least deserved to join the coven. The thought of him not joining felt wrong in a way, like if the Earth were to orbit the Moon instead of vice versa. 

The others looked to Minhyung who, with his easy-going nature, smiled brightly at Donghyuck as he walked towards him. With a hand on his shoulder, he said, “you can stay with us.” The way Donghyuck’s eyes widened and snapped up to scan Minhyung’s face, as if to look for a sign that he was joking, pulled at your heartstrings. “Don’t look at me like that,” Minhyung said, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly, “it’s only right.” 

Donhyuck’s gaze shifted from Minhyung to the other boys until they finally rested on you. You plastered on an encouraging smile, subtly nodding to him. Donghyuck’s fingers released his grip on their grip on his trousers and his hopeful expression gave way for a small smile. After clearing his throat, he softly said, “thanks.” 

Life after Donghyuck joining the coven was stupidly easy. Just as you suspected, the boys had gotten along swimmingly. The more days that passed, the closer they all became and it made you feel warm on the inside; that all your boys - because, yes, of course they were yours, just like you were theirs - were beginning to form a bond like no other. Your relationship with Donghyuck was more or less the same but there was an attraction that you had for him that you didn’t dare acknowledge. It was something that would stay in the back of your mind; no matter how many times you got lost in his eyes or how adorable he was when he got particularly excited about something. You knew you were done for when one warm evening, the boys were lounging in your home after the day at the beach and Chenle was recounting the time Jisung had tried to brew a potion and how it left him with blue skin for weeks. Donhyuck had leaned forward to let out a full bellied laugh and you had to look away before you wouldn’t stop staring. Jaemin caught your eye, though, and the way he subtly winked at you had you scrambling to do something, anything, so that you could ignore how warm your cheeks had gotten.

A couple of weeks after that found you and Dongyuck under a large tree near you home, sitting across from one another on top of a picnic blanket with a pretty, buttercream frosted cake in between the two of you. Donghyuck was staring at it hungrily, fork in his hand. You gestured at the cake when he shot you a quick glance, smiling at him with amusement. The first bite had his eyes growing wide before shoveling more of it into his mouth, both of his cheeks bulging with the amount of it. You could hardly suppress your laughter, not even with a hand pressed to your mouth. At first he gulped it down, smiled bashfully and pushed the cake towards you. Then when you refused, content with watching him enjoy it by himself, his eyes sparkled with mischief and before you could even think to move away, he swiped some frosting across your nose. In retaliation, you returned the favor and so it became a mini food fight of sorts until you two stood up and began chasing each other around the forest, your laughter being carried by the breeze.

“Happiness,” you said breathlessly as you laid on the grass, not caring about grass stains ruining your clothes. Donghyuck mimicked your position, laying close enough so that your arms were touching. While you enjoyed the warmth that he was radiating, you shifted so that you could face him, elbow on the grass as your temple rested on your palm. “It’s happiness.”

“Hm?” Again, he copied your position and you couldn’t help but giggle at how silly he looked even though you probably resembled his current state–minus the glowing. 

“The glowing,” you stated, eyes flickering to his lips for a quick second. “It happens when you’re happy, right?”

“You’re clever as always, sunshine.” 

You snorted, “of course, Haechan.”

There was an electrifying current that followed as you and Donghyuck stared at one another for the next couple of minutes until you broke it, fearing that you might do something like tell him your feelings or kiss him or, if you were brave enough, both. With the sway of your finger, the picnic blanket was folded up and began floating back to your house. You offered Donghyuck your hand and pulled him up when he took it. 

With frosting still covering both of your faces, the two of you began walking back in silence. Your arms were lightly swinging back and forth at your sides until your right pinkie was captured by another. You slyly glanced at Donghyuck from the corner of your eye, who refused to look at your direction. Heart racing, you rearranged your hands so that they were locked together, unable to fight the smile that made its way onto your face. When you reached your front door, still hand in hand with no words spoken to each other, you raised the back of his hand to your lips and pressed a soft kiss. A glance at your companion showed him mirroring your smile with his eyes directed on the ground, the glowing brighter than ever.

Before you could look away, he met your gaze and said, “I’m the happiest when I’m with you.” Then he gave you a peck on the lips, let go of your hand and ran inside. And what could you do except follow him, a goofy smile plastered on your face.