#theres a lot that the author ideally would know better than to do

[angelsaxis]

i dont think we can solely blame the authors for poorly written books. yes most of the work is on them but when you read something that just feels awkward as hell or like the author was roaming free doing what they wanted, that's because the editor(s) were asleep at the wheel. when an author wants to go on a tangent and use overwritten metaphors for every single thing they want to describe, the editor's supposed to say "hey dial that back". when an author indents way too many time to for "dramatic effect" an editor is supposed to say dont do that lol. like where are the line editors lmao?

[lunatic-fandom-space]

ALRIGHT i finished the second version of the last the little vampire book, which means Im done with the books and can move on to the movies or the tv-shows right? NO because theres one more book, its a spinoff-thing which is Anna's diary. ohhhhhhhhh i feel like this will never end

But anyway, this is the version where Anton decides against turning into a vampire at the end and I liked it way better. The book is still overwhelmingly the same, there were only a few pretty minor changes, so like, I still dont particularly like it (although I had a much better time listening to it than i did reading it) but the ending was a lot better and made way more sense, its kinda baffling that this was seemingly not the first idea the author had

Basically, in the original Anton tells Anna and Rüdiger that he feels ready to say yes to the vampire transformation-question, but he just needs to do something first and then hes gonna meet with them to answer the question. That something is see his parents, so he goes over to his dad's house, he sees his dad with his new gf and also his mom with her new bf because she wants to have a civil post-divorce talk about something with her husband, and then after his mom and her bf leave, Anton overhears his dad and his gf basically celebrate becoming a family and it makes him go "theyre entering a new chapter of their life, I should do the same" and then he goes back to agree to becoming a vampire. I think this is weird and bad because so much of this series is emphasizing how much the life of the vampires suck and yeah, a lot of that has been undone but not the point that I could see Anton being willing to give up his humanity and basically his entire life because its not like he'll be able to stay with his parents or at school, yknow? Like, they still have to drink blood and they cant go out during the day. Also, I think it sends a bad message to kids, but honestly, all of these books are highkey sending a bad message to kids, so i guess its fitting in that way

But in the new version, the conversation that Anton overhears between the two couples is about him and how theyre worried about him but also think hes a lot braver than they expected and about how they need to talk things out with him once he comes back and theyre gonna let him pick where theyre gonna spend their next holidays and who will be allowed to come along and stuff, honestly some of this feels pretty unbelievable in how ideal it is and how calm theyre all being, but I guess its been a few days now since Anton went away and he did leave a note and has been calling and stuff so idk. Then his mother and her bf leave and his dad and his gf have a much more frank conversation about how much they hope that they can make everything work and be a family. This causes Anton to reflect on how much he loved his family and how nice it is to belong to one, and how by contrast Anna and Rüdiger's family dont even really call themselves a family, they mostly call themselves a clan, and from there he thinks of all the other obviously terrible things that a vampiric existence would entail. So he goes back to the vampire kids and tells them that he changed his mind, and Anna freaks out, yells at him that shes never been so disappointed by any other person in her life, forcefully takes that magic sigil off his forehead and runs off.

Anton is obviously shocked and upset by this, but Rüdiger is still there and hes completely fine with it and chill about it, so he tells him that everythings fine and that his sister is gonna calm down and they'll be friends again soon enough. Then he tells Anton that what he's about to say is very atypical for a vampire like himself, and he says "I'm actually really glad that you decided against becoming a vampire because yknow, vampires arent really supposed to have friends, so who knows what wouldve happened to our friendship if you became one" and then narration says he stops as though he's already revealed too much of his thoughts and feelings, and then hes off. The next day he gets a message from Anna whos very sorry and would like to start again, which Anton is very happy about, and he goes back his parents and its all good 👍

This ending is not only so much better, it also just fundamentally makes more sense. Thats one of the things that really added to the fanficy-feeling of the first version of this book especially, its this weird nonsensical ending thats delivered with such confidence, as if its much more coherent than it really is. I will say, I was still a little disappointed because for what felt like a solid two minutes i was CONVINCED that Rüdiger was gonna make a romantic confession and I wanted it so bad and then it didnt happen. sighhhhhh. maybe i need to start looking for actual fanfics.....

[vampismm]

Ticci Toby General Headcanons

(srry its so long i have a lot of thoughts about him... probably will rewrite later

) ---------------------------------------- - toby rogers is a small kid, around 5'6-5'7 with messy, shaggy brown hair and dark brown eyes. his hair is choppy and uneven from having to cut it himself and his eyes lack any true life behind them - to be fair, the guy himself lacks any life in him in general. he lost it all when he destroyed his life and became a proxy - but theres nothing he can do now. he knows this, and he copes hard. in ways that are less than ideal - fighting, outbursts, temper tantrums, drinking, smoking, murder - toby thinks with his fists more than he does his brain. he always has been and always will be a fighter, thats one thing he got from his father for better or for worse - he's just generally an insensitive prick - the kid doesn't care one bit about anybody but himself. its a dog eat dog world, right? every man for himself. - besides the lack of empathy, and the callousness, toby is also a weird kid in all. he crosses lines and disrespects boundaries, and is very vulgar and crude - very loud and immature. just an obnoxious prick - he does what he wants and god forbid anybody tries to assert authority over him - this is why he tends to have issues with tim. he cant stand the thought of some random guy going around acting like he knows him, or telling him what to do - nobody knows toby, not truly. he overshares and he talks a lot, but he doesnt really say much. the kid would rather kick, fight and scream than let anybody close to him - theres not a single soul on earth that toby trusts enough to rely on, in his mind all he has is himself now. especially after everything with his sister. he barely remembers it, but god does it follow him - he was never incredibly close with his sister, they just stuck by each other while dealing with their father. they bonded over the abuse in a subtle, sick way - she would stand up for him while he was being bullied in middle school, not knowing that toby would often instigate the fights. he was a violent kid projecting the violence at home onto kids on the playground - he wasnt just bullied, he was a bully too - to this day, people will often avoid him or feel uncomfortable around him. toby is just an antisocial asshole who pushes people away - despite this, he can be rather friendly at times. he's a very charismatic person when he wants to be and is scarily good at getting people to like him. - its only when they really get to know him that they run for the hills. he's nothing but a wolf in sheeps clothing and he pulls off the "troubled teen" act very well - when it comes to his 'job', he doesn't really follow through in the way he's supposed to - unless of course he's being directly controlled by Him - sometimes toby will wake up in the forest, covered in blood that isnt his and having no recollection of the past week or month - so much time has been taken from him, and so much more - theres not much he can do though. he has a job and He wont let him stop until the boy is useless. then he'll be discarded - until then, toby will continue to destroy himself just like he destroys everything around him. he will continue to be a fighter until he cant anymore. he'll continue to take and ruin lives - because honestly, thats all toby rogers has become and ever will be

[taelme]

Enemies-to-lovers!Bang Chan

request: Hey! Can i request and enemies to lovers slow burn with bang chan where they dont like each other but theres undeniable chemistry

genre: enemies-to-lovers!au, workplace/office!au, (fluff, slow burn, lots of denial of feelings lol) 

pairing/s: Chan / Reader (ft Seungmin and some ocs!) 

word count: 21k rip I got pretty carried away 

tw: not any prominent ones that I can think of, kind of hints of the whole misogyny in the workplace kind of thing 

a/n: I got super carried away writing this I hope you guys like it haha im currently working on the other requests so do look forward to those!! ill try to put them out as soon as I can~~ all this staying at home is really giving me time to write... ( I HAD TO use this gif I just HAD TO) but yes this was a little hard to find reasons why y/n wld hate chan bc im for the chan is an angel agenda but I ended up having so much fun ok BYE 

“Hey, you free to get lunch later?” You’d bumped into your friend who worked in the company’s legal department, Seungmin, on a Thursday morning while you were in the pantry preparing coffee and tidbits for your boss. 

You nodded, “uh-huh,” mixing the coffee absently, “what are you doing here?” 

Seungmin shrugged, leaning against the counter as he munched on a cookie, “felt like taking a walk. Things have been pretty busy in the legal department lately.” 

“Why?” 

Seungmin gave you a cheeky smile, shrugging, “can’t say, but you’ll find out soon enough.” 

You rolled your eyes, gritting your teeth with feigned menace towards him (his smile stayed unwavering, even sticking his tongue out at you to mock you).

“Who’s that for?” Seungmin gestured to the coffee mugs on the tray. 

“Mr Bang’s supposed to be meeting his nephew or something, he made it seem really important but all he told me was that it’s for his nephew,” you shrugged, glancing down at your two cups of coffee, realisation hitting you. 

“Shit, that just reminded me. He said his nephew doesn’t drink coffee. Do you want this?” You shot Seungmin a pleading look, holding up your now unneeded cup of coffee. 

Seungmin scoffed, taking the mug from you wordlessly, “how exciting your job is, huh,” he deadpanned, sipping the coffee, “wanna reconsider joining the legal department now?” 

You rolled your eyes. 

“I’m perfectly satisfied with my job now, thank you very much.” 

You’d prepared a pot of tea, careful not to spill the water onto the counter as you did so, transferring the pot onto your tray, “and plus, considering the amount of money I get paid for the amount of work I do, I’m more than happy.” 

Seungmin scoffed, “should’ve known it was because of the money.” 

“Alright, I’ve gotta go, see you later,” you said, picking up your tray as Seungmin waved his hand with cookie crumbs on his fingers, the clicking of your heels growing softer as you walked further away. 

Reaching the door of your boss’ office, you’d been able to faintly make out 2 silhouettes through the window from where you stood, composing yourself to make a good impression as you knocked on the door. Hearing your boss grunt, you’d pushed the door open with your shoulder, your gaze focused on the coffee table as you greeted your boss.

Setting the pot of tea on the table, you’d cast a glance at the recipient, your eyes widening when you’d spotted the boy with dyed hair sitting on the plush leather sofa facing your boss, dressed in a clean white button-down and tie, an equally well-ironed pair of pants, his posture relaxed with his legs spread casually. 

His gaze was on you, as if analysing your movements, making you direct your gaze back to your task at hand, setting the saucer with the cup of coffee onto the coffee table, placing the small biscuits your boss liked in the middle of the two. 

Holding the tray close to your chest, you cast a glance at your boss, about to bow in greeting and head back out when his voice had stopped you. 

“Y/N, please, stay here. I’d like to discuss something with you and my nephew.” 

Your eyebrows raised, lips pressed tightly together as you nodded, “oh…cool, alright.” 

“Please, take a seat,” Mr Bang gestured to the space on the sofa next to his nephew, making you seat yourself awkwardly on the other side of the sofa, your body pressing against the armrest as if trying to create as much distance as you could between him and you. 

“So, Chan, this is my secretary, Y/N,” Mr Bang gestured to you, “Y/N, this is my nephew, uh… Chris,” he spoke, the name sounding fairly familiar to you. Chris Bang? You sounded the name over in your head, not being able to connect the dots as to why it was so familiar at this point of time. 

“So, sweetheart, because I’ve been planning on resigning for a while now, I thought I should let you know that I’m planning on handing my position over to Chris.” 

Maybe this was what Seungmin was so busy with. 

You nodded slowly, trying to understand the implications this decision meant for you, “will my contract be terminated, then?” 

Chris glanced at you, as if searching your expression. He found you fairly younger than he’d expected, since his uncle had mentioned earlier that you’d already been working for him for quite some time, going onto 2 years already.

Of course, he didn’t want to underestimate you, but knowing the directors’ reputations regarding secretaries, he wasn’t sure if he could put a label on your abilities without seeing them for himself, first. And to him, he wasn’t quite understanding of why his uncle was so insistent that he needed a secretary, his past experiences with secretaries all being quite unimpressive. 

“That… is unfortunately up to Chris, but ideally your contract will resume as per normal.” 

You glanced back at the boy, who looked at you with an unreadable expression, something about his stare successfully unnerving you, the way he looked at you almost with a certain level of contempt. 

“We’ll be having a company dinner tonight to welcome Chris to the team, it would do the both of you well to get acquainted with each other before the board meeting for ceo elections.” 

You nodded slowly, still clutching the tray close to your chest as you wondered how old he was, the whole ordeal seeming as though it were something out of a movie: a young apathetic heir getting authority over a large corporation at such a young age. Was he even qualified for this position? The rest of the directors were nowhere near his age, well, appearance wise. 

As if having read your mind, your boss spoke, “I’m sure you two will get along just fine, considering you two are so close in age.” 

Your eyes narrowed, something in you not feeling comfortable with this arrangement. Dismissing the thought quickly, you shrugged, figuring it would be a change of scenery from being around the old directors all the time. 

You watched as Chris shrugged.

“We’ll see.” 

=== 

“Who?” Seungmin dabbed at his lips with his towel, picking up his glass of water to take a sip, making you frown, still trying to do your research on Chris Bang as far as your browser app would take you. 

“Chris Bang. He’s gonna take over the company from President Bang.” 

Your words seemed to have elicited a giggle from Seungmin, “doesn’t that make them both ‘President Bang’?”

Seungmin ignored your eye roll, continuing, “this was what I was referring to just now, you know. I thought you would’ve known who he was by now,” he told you, making you set your phone down on the table, open on his LinkedIn page that frankly wasn’t giving you much other than stating how very qualified he was for the job. 

“You know, Bang Chan? Ring a bell? That guy that’s been switching departments for God-knows-how-long since last year. The one that got all of us donuts one time,” Seungmin gave you a ‘duh’ look, considerably unamused. 

“Oh,” only then were you realising just who that was. You knew exactly who he was. You’d heard many rumours from the other secretaries on how he was impossibly good at anything he’d set his mind to, his work ethic and standard incomparable to anyone else in the company they’d ever seen. 

Which was why all that switching departments start to make sense to you, since it could’ve been his way of making sure he learnt the ins-and-outs of every department by the time he took over. If that wasn’t just more evidence that he was definitely a crazy workaholic.

At the time, you’d made a passing comment on how you hoped you would never have to be his subordinate, after having heard stories on how intimidating he was whenever it came to work (especially work that was improperly done). Little did you know that your comment would come back to bite you in the ass so soon. 

“Yeah, ‘oh,” Seungmin mimicked you, taking another bite out of his burger, “why d’you seem so…,” Seungmin made a pained groaning sound as he gestured to you for lack of a better word, “about it, anyway? Shouldn’t you be happy? He’s super nice!” 

You scrunched your nose up, locking your phone in your dismay, not wanting to see his face on his stupid profile mocking you with all his stupid qualifications anyway.

“I don’t know, just kind of feels a little sudden. And I hate the feeling of not knowing if I’m gonna be fired since it’s not up to Mr Bang anymore.” 

“Which one?” Seungmin joked, making you scoff, finding it just a little funny. Only a little. 

Seungmin continued, “you’re just mad because him taking over means you actually have to do work.” 

You shot him a glare, your silence being an acknowledgement that he wasn’t entirely wrong. 

“And because I love Mr Bang! He was such a nice old man that checked in on me and gave me life advice. I’m not gonna get any life advice from someone that’s basically my age.” 

Seungmin huffed in amusement, bringing his hand up to cup his mouth as if to divulge a secret, dropping his voice to a strained whisper, “transfer to the legal department.” 

You sighed, “no, I still love my pay.” 

“Then stop sulking! Chris is the nicest guy I’ve met, you’ll be fine. Just show up to the company dinner tonight and fluff him up a bit,” Seungmin shrugged, “it’ll be smooth sailing from then on.” 

=== 

You figured you should’ve tried to do a lot better to fluff Chris up during the company dinner, instead of just going over to grill the meat for the directors, under the instruction of President Bang. 

The action itself didn’t sit right with Chris, who didn’t understand why it was so imperative to the directors that you be the one to grill the meat until he realised just why they were keeping you there. 

His own uncle was oblivious of course, simply obliging at any chance he got to show off how capable you were (even if it was just grilling meat), however Chris was quick to notice the way they stared at you as you reached between them to grill the meat, your face feeling hot with the steam from the grill. 

“Y/N is very hardworking, graduated at the top of her class in college,” Mr Bang mentioned pointedly, making Chris’ eyebrows raise in surprise. 

“Really? What did you study?” He spoke, knowing very well you were listening, the other directors not paying any attention to learning your background as they prompted you to pour them a drink. You didn’t miss the way his words were accented, remembering hearing from Seungmin that he’d spent a large chunk of his life in Australia. 

Tipping the bottle, you’d answered (albeit a little preoccupied). 

“Law,” you sat back on your heels, “minored in journalism.” 

Chris frowned, not being able to understand why you would’ve chosen to work here as his uncle’s secretary of all things if you had pretty good prospects on your own. 

“How’d you end up working for my uncle, then?” He voiced, your attention diverted when you’d been prompted by a director to take a shot of your own, clinking your glass obnoxiously and leaving you with no choice, an embarrassed flush on your face. 

Taking the shot, you winced at the burn of the drink, glancing back at Chris, who was still looking at you curiously, wondering how you’d felt under the attention of the directors.  

“Did it as a temp job at first,” you told him, “but I guess I realised halfway that I don’t mind it so much, and it paid me pretty well.” 

Chris hummed, you ‘don’t mind’ this? 

One of the directors let out a grunt of distaste, “you shouldn’t worry about that, doll. The job of a secretary is to look pretty, the pride of the company is in its secretaries,” he said, clearly having already had one-too-many drinks, his words leaving an awful aftertaste on your tongue, his hand going over to grasp your shoulder, his hand going down to your arm and squeezing. 

“I always told her she’d do well as a housewife. That way she wouldn’t have to work and just mooch off her husband.” 

You mustered a smile, setting the bottle of drink down and bowing to them, Chris having lost his appetite at the way you’d just let their comments slide. 

“Maybe she prefers mooching off of the directors, instead,” Chris murmured, his sharp tongue getting the better of him, catching your attention as you were walking past him, making you stop in your tracks.  

Chris’ uncle tut his tongue, nudging the boy harshly, making him raise his hands in surrender. 

“What? Just speaking off of observation.” 

You turned around, a surge of confidence arising in you (from where? You weren’t sure, maybe it was the fact that in your eyes he was still what was standing in between you and your possible severance pay), “excuse me?” 

“I’m sorry, was there any untruth in what I said?” Chris turned, his gaze almost challenging you to speak out against the directors, not knowing that it was only serving to spur you on to speak out against him instead. 

 You scoffed, Chris standing up and awaiting your answer, a voice in you screaming at you not to be intimidated by him, especially with the way his head tilted down ever so slightly, his eyebrows raising expectantly. 

“Didn’t know they would just let any rude petty kid run any company these days,” you narrowed your eyes at him, folding your arms and straightening your posture. 

Seungmin, who was watching from his table with the legal team, grimaced, deeming Chris’ expression to be anything but friendly at the moment. 

“I don’t know, maybe it’s just a little unbelievable to me that I’m supposed to be answering to someone who just got the company handed to him,” your words were coming out faster than you could help it. I mean, you were probably going to get fired anyway, right? Might as well go down with a fight. 

“You don’t know anything about me,” Chris muttered, his voice firm, annoyance laced in his tone. Your words seemed to have triggered a spark in him, annoyed that you were doubting his abilities, blatantly disrespecting him even after knowing he could be your superior. 

Mr Bang had tapped Chris’ calf harshly, “enough, don’t keep y/n from eating.” 

Ignoring his words, Chris had stepped forward, staring you down as the tension had only thickened between the both of you. 

“But then, what would you know, right? What was that again? Right. What are you here for other than to look pretty, hmm?” He tilted his head at you, flashing you a smile that was practically dripping with sarcasm. 

You practically seethed with anger, your fists clenching as you unfolded your arms, your finger coming up to point at him, “you know what? I’d rather eat beansprouts for the rest of my life than work for you.” You scoffed. 

Chris' amused lilt to his smile was only serving to annoy you even more, making you storm over to your table with the other secretaries, all of them casting you looks of concern or shock that you would have confronted him like that. Picking up your jacket, you’d scoffed, casting him one last look before you left, not expecting to see him again afterwards. 

Well, that was the part you were very very wrong about. 

That night, you’d called your boyfriend over to submit him to a seemingly never-ending rant about Chris, getting a text from Seungmin halfway. 

“I mean, isn’t it good, then? That you can find another job?” Your boyfriend tried to reason, pressing a kiss to your neck as you straddled him where he was sitting leaning against your headboard. 

“That’s not the point,” you insisted, pausing to read the text that Seungmin had sent, oblivious to his urgent kisses trailing up to your jaw. 

seungmin (personal)  2:12am -consider yourself lucky. Spoke to Chan just now, make sure you show up to work tomorrow.- 

“The point is that, he’s arrogant. What? Telling me that I’m only here to look pretty?—“ 

“In his defence, you insulted him first.” 

You glared at your boyfriend, “Yeah, fine. But he provoked me first. And I don’t know, something about him just pisses me off,” you tried to reason, your boyfriend’s kisses beginning to distract you from your anger. 

“You know what, maybe you should just give him a shot. Maybe he’s not as bad as he seems?” 

And so you did as Seungmin had instructed, doing what you would’ve always done, grabbing your boss’ morning coffee before going to the office, ‘leisurely’ making your way upstairs as you tried to avoid any possible suit-clad blond-haired man. 

Upon reaching your desk, you’d set your things under your desk, opening your scheduler and doing a quick run through of Mr Bang’s schedule for the day, grabbing the coffee and knocking on the glass doors before entering. 

“Y/N! Just the person I wanted to see.” You nodded, walking over to place his coffee onto his table.

“You have the board meeting in half an hour, sir,” you informed him.  

“Right, thank you. Would you be a dear and be there to serve the refreshments?” 

You nodded, “yeah, sure.” 

“If all goes as planned, Chan- I mean, Chris, will be taking over from next week onwards. So this week will be the last week i’m here.” 

You frowned, “it’s a shame you’re retiring, you know,” your disappointment was evident in your tone.  

Mr Bang simply waved you off, “it’s about time, I’m sure little Chris will do a good job.” 

You’d kept your mouth shut, nodding as he stood up with his coffee cup in hand, looking at you with a smile, “shall we head down a little earlier, then?” 

You nodded, opening the door for him to exit and following him silently to the venue of the board meeting. You were surprised, to say the least, when you’d reached only to find Chris there already, currently in an animated conversation with one of the directors, smiling like you’d never seen before, dimples showing on his cheeks. 

Excusing yourself quickly, you’d gone to the pantry to prepare the drinks, your time here having made you familiar with the respective directors drink preferences. Carrying your tray carefully, you’d pushed the door open with your hip, seeing all the directors seated already, all seeming fairly comfortable around Chris, only serving to make the feeling of dread build in the pit of your stomach. 

Making your way around the table, you’d distributed the drinks to the directors personally, refusing to make eye contact with Chris as you gave him his stupid cup of tea. 

Once the meeting had started, you’d dismissed yourself outside the room, a part of you trying to listen in on the board meeting but not being able to hear much through the thick panelled glass. You were surprised when barely half an hour had passed and you’d heard applause in the room, peeping through the window to see Mr Bang give you a signal that you could come in. 

Pushing the door open carefully, you saw the directors practically lining up to congratulate Chris, leaving promptly after looking all-too satisfied with the outcome of the meeting. 

Mr Bang was speaking to Chris as the rest of the directors were leaving, “well, I guess this means my work here is as good as done. I’m sure your parents will be thrilled to hear the news,” he pat Chris on the back. 

You were about to head out with Mr Bang, eager to avoid Chris when you’d heard him speak, “Y/N, I’d like to speak with you for a moment. Is that alright?” He cast a look at his uncle, who waved him off. 

“Of course, she’s not my secretary anymore, remember?” You cast Mr Bang a look of distress, seeing him chuckle before giving you a thumbs up, exiting the room happily.  

You winced, turning around so you were facing Chris, seeing him walk over to where you were, holding out a thick bound stack of papers for you to take. 

“What’s this?” 

"A contract. You can pass it to me by the end of the day once you've made your decision. I trust that you're familiar with reading contracts?" he asked as you stared at the papers, flipping and scanning through the print, realising that his terms were considerably more demanding than his uncle. 

"You'll be able to find an additional attachment where I list what I would expect in a secretary. Feel free to consult me if you're unclear about any of them, though I don't think you would need to." 

Your eyes lingered on the section of the contract, stating that you would be on a year of probation, but that the contract could be terminated whenever he felt appropriate. 

"Whenever you deem appropriate?" you scoffed, looking up at him in disbelief. 

He smiled, "very pretty wording, don't you think?" 

"That's all I wanted to say. Remember, I'll expect your response by the end of the day." 

You stared blankly as he shrugged his jacket off, draping it on one arm. 

"Go ahead, what are you waiting for? You can go for your lunch break now," he urged, before his features pulled into a look of realisation, "oh, forgot. That is, unless you would rather eat...what was that again? Beansprouts?" 

Your mouth opened, making as if to retort before you shut your mouth quickly, your eyes widening as he walked over to you, his gaze intense and serious, a contrast to the demeanour he wore while chatting up the director previously. 

"I can handle myself, you know," you attempted to defend yourself, watching as Chris had shrugged. 

"You have one whole year to prove that to me." 

In that one year of working for Chris, you'd learnt a lot of things. Not only about your position as a secretary, but about Chris, ( not to mention, just exactly how spiteful he could be ).  

1. Sleep was a luxury. 

In your first week as his secretary, Chris had surprised you with the sheer rate of progress he was aiming, and moving at. It was as if all the rumours you'd heard before about his work ethic were a gross understatement of his tenacity. 

You'd been having trouble adjusting to his deadlines, especially since he had entrusted more tasks to you. From surprise presentations, to drafting up proposals and reports, not to mention submitting research to him. To you, it felt as if you were doing half the job for him. 

In short, you had never missed Mr Bang more than you did then. 

Of course, Seungmin being your voice of reason, would shut your rants down, claiming it was ‘about time you do your job’, but of course, you loved to complain. Especially since it was someone you didn't have very fond feelings for that was assigning you the work. You grew increasingly irritated in the time you were adjusting to your sleep schedule, which Chris, and your boyfriend had definitely noticed. 

Because of your changes in brain activity levels, you assumed (google could only diagnose so much), whenever sleep came to you, you welcomed it with open arms.  Since waking up had become even more of a chore to run over to the coffee shop and squeeze yourself between the crowd of working adults and panda-eyed college students to get his very specific breakfast order. 

You'd gone home from a birthday party of your boyfriend and your mutual friend, things having gotten a little...out of hand at your boyfriend's apartment since it'd been so long since you'd been able to spend time together, not with you always falling asleep during video calls or refusing them altogether for the sake of getting your work done. You'd missed him, and something about being apart made you miss his touch. 

Jolting awake, (as if your body had been able to tell that your sleep was too smooth), you'd instantly sensed that something was wrong when you saw the light streaming in from behind the curtains, knowing for a fact that you usually woke up when it was still a little dark out. 

Turning around, you'd fumbled for your phone on the bedside table, letting out a loud gasp when you saw the time. You were already a whole half-hour late. 

"Shit!" 

Your boyfriend startled, letting out a groan, his arm still lazily draped over your stomach. 

"Did my alarm ring?" you asked, shoving his hand off of you and groaning, slipping out of bed quickly as you put on your clothes from the day before, not having any more time to go back to your apartment and get a fresh change of clothes. 

"I don't know, I didn't hear anything," you heard your boyfriend mumble from where he lay. 

Cursing, you'd ran over to his bathroom, washing your face quickly, a gasp leaving your mouth as you inspected the angry marks on your neck through the mirror. 

"I hate you so much," you tugged up the collar of your turtleneck, successfully hiding the marks when you’d let your hair down. 

Grabbing your things, you'd sprinted downstairs, hailing the first cab you could see and heading to your office. 

Was he going to fire me? You were still on probation, so there was no reason he couldn't, right? 

You'd fixed your hair anxiously as you jogged into the lobby, your shoes clacking noisily against the floor as you ran into the lift, even debating on whether taking the stairs would have been a better idea as the lift went up at an achingly slow pace. 

Finally reaching your floor, you’d made your way to the meeting room, tossing your bags outside the door and entering with your laptop, notebook and pen, keeping your head down and avoiding Chris’ gaze as he was presenting to the room. 

Taking your seat at the only empty seat left, (unfortunately, closer to the front of the room), you’d let out a small sigh. Expecting to hear Chris comment on your tardiness or whatnot, you opened your laptop, picking up on the minutes where you could. 

Keeping your head down, you’d felt your colleague from the marketing team lean over to you as Chris had given everyone some time to analyse what he was showing on the screen, his lack of a comment making you even more anxious. 

“Your hair’s a mess,” she whispered, making you wince, your hand going up to comb your hair into a ponytail in your attempt to look neater, hearing your colleague gasp. 

“Dude! Put your hair back down, your neck,” she whispered, your eyes immediately darting to Chris’ direction, seeing that he was in fact staring at your jaw and neck as well, turning away quickly, the reddening of his ears giving him away.

Your hands let go of your hair as though you were burned, hearing your colleague snicker beside you, “I see someone had fun last night. Was that why you were late, too?” 

You shushed her as Chris cleared his throat, embarrassment flooding your senses as you continued to take minutes, hoping that he wouldn’t be as mad at you if you showed that you were trying your best. Fat chance, but hey, you could dream. 

Chris had started to assign things that he’d wanted the different departments to focus on for the project at hand, flashing a slide of deadlines that you watched people scramble to confirm with their existing information. You were secretly hoping someone would hold him back with a question so that he was too busy to confront you. 

Unfortunately for you, that wasn’t the case today. The meeting ended promptly, Chris leaving you in relative silence as you packed up your things, your colleagues giving you a look of sympathy as you followed him silently out of the room back to your desk. 

“In my office, please,” he murmured. 

You fiddled with your fingers, already anticipating for him to fire you. 

“Can you explain to me what happened this morning?” 

Your eyes widened, not daring to meet his gaze as it flickered between anything in the room other than him, “I uh..I didn’t um…I didn’t hear my alarm ring and nobody woke me up so I overslept.” 

Chris’ stare was unwavering, leaning against his desk and folding his arms, “so is it not your responsibility to make sure you show up to work on time?” 

“No, yeah of course it is—“ 

“Then I would like to see you be accountable for your mistakes,” he continued, “I’m not saying you can’t make mistakes, everybody makes mistakes. But if your mistake is what puts an entire room of people at an inconvenience, I would prefer if you were a little more apologetic about it.” 

You’d let a short period of silence fall between the both of you, “I’m sorry,” you mumbled, your gaze fixed firmly on his shoelace, “am I fired?” 

Chris let out a small sigh, shaking his head. “No, but, you know, if you ever let anything like this happen again, I won’t hesitate to fire you,” his voice was stern, annoyed almost. 

“And Y/N, if this,” you looked up at him watching him gesture to his neck with his hand before gesturing back to you, making you cower, tugging your collar further up your neck, “is what’s the issue here. I’d suggest you start prioritising.” 

“Sorry. It won’t happen again, I swear,” you rushed to speak, bowing quickly before exiting the room as fast as you could, wanting to tear your hair out in both annoyance and embarrassment. 

You’d jumped when you heard the sound of your desk speaker, Chris’ voice sounding through the phone, “Is there a problem, Y/N?” 

Your eyes widened, rushing over to your desk phone, shaking your head as you pressed the button to reply, “no, no! Not at all. There was just a… a bug here.” 

Chris huffed, bringing his hand up to hide his amusement, watching you scramble to regain your composure. 

2. Chris was a workaholic 

It was seeing (and experiencing) all the late nights in the office and the erratic pattern of his emails on weekends that drew you to this conclusion. His routine of sleeping late and then proceeding to get up at ungodly hours to either get work done or give up on the idea of a smooth sleep, since you were aware that he tended to have trouble sleeping. Not to mention the way it seemed to you as if the top priority in his life was his work, wanting to do his best to get the company to where he wanted it to be. 

After a few months of working for him, it was very clear to you that your job entailed not only taking care of his work, but taking care of him. 

You were going over to the legal team's office to collect the binders Chan had left to them, seemingly needing one of them now, thankful to have spotted Seungmin along the way as he was leaving his desk. 

Shooting you a look of sympathy, he'd peeked his head out to glance at your area, noticing everyone else in your team had gone home already. 

"Working late again?" 

You were sure you looked horrible, with bags under your eyes and your complexion looking dull from lack of sleep, but well, you had to earn a living, right? 

You shot him a pointed look, "you know the rules, can't go home until the boss goes home," you heaved a pained sigh. 

"You know, I'm starting to wonder if he even has a social life," you thought out loud, earning an amused grunt from Seungmin. 

"I could say the same about you." You ignored his comment. 

"What d'you need?" he asked, though you were already making your way to his superior's desk, grabbing the file and leaving a post-it to say it was with Chris. 

"Nothing, just this." You let out a small grunt at the weight of the binder, your wrists aching from all the filing you'd done that morning and afternoon (you never did notice until now how inefficient Chris' uncle's document organization system was). 

"All the best," he gave you a thumbs up, earning a pitiful pout from you before you'd headed back to Chris' office. 

Knocking on his door, you'd heard him murmur for you to come in, pushing the heavy doors open with your shoulder as you shoved your way through the doors,  placing the binder onto the coffee table where he'd had his documents and laptop laid out haphazardly. 

Chan's hair was a mess, likely from running his hands through it as he worked, his tie discarded and the top few buttons of his shirt undone, looking at you with tired eyes. 

He was about to ask you for some water, but you'd seemed to have read his mind, walking over to the table near his desk and pouring him a glass of warm water from the flask. 

"I'm almost done with the filing, but I'll be outside so you can let me know if you need anything." 

You'd felt your pocket buzz with a notification, momentarily taking your attention away from Chris. 

Chris glanced at the files before looking back at you in thought, stopping you before you could exit the room, "actually, can you help me to write a report on this, I'll need this by tomorrow afternoon." 

Knowing Chris' deadlines, that meant he would've needed it by tomorrow morning, which left you no choice other than to start working on it now. 

Chris picked up a small file with a post-it note stuck onto the file, handing it to you. 

"The points are all there. I would've done it myself but by the looks of it this is gonna take a while more than I expected," he sighed, his hands on his hips as he stared at the pile of papers in front of him in disdain. 

Chris never would've admitted that he'd started preparing the post-it notes for you in case he wasn't able to complete his work in time, since he usually opted to write from his head, but he knew you worked better with structure. He'd only realised after starting to do it that it helped him draft the write-ups more concisely, so of course, the reason was always 'for his own convenience', never creating opportunities for you to think he actually tried accommodating to you. 

"This current arrangement is very un-environmentally friendly," you mumbled, staring at the papers as well. 

"I'll go get this done now," you gave him a nod, exiting his office as you pulled your phone from your pocket, the text from your boyfriend practically glaring at you, asking if you were able to meet that night. 

10:47pm - sorry, working late :( gotta work on a report due tomorrow morning - 

Biting back your disappointment at having to bail on your boyfriend again, you'd nodded resolutely, pulling up your delivery app to order food for Chris before you started on the report lest he start to get irritable because he was hungry. 

And lastly, the point you couldn't quite seem to wrap your head around, was that 

3. He was very nice, just...not so much to you. 

After the oversleeping incident from before, it was safe to say you'd never let a similar mistake repeat itself. You were constantly making sure you were alert and responsive to anything Chris could possibly throw to you (and he knew this too). 

The only downside Chris saw to this, was that it seemed as though your attitude towards the directors hadn't changed. Still swallowing their disgusting comments and serving them with a smile, even if they were looking everywhere but your face. It irked Chris. And it irked him even more that the only one you seemed to serve without a smile, was him. 

Unbeknownst to him, you'd shared the same sentiments. 

"Do you ever look at someone and wonder what is going on in their head?" you spoke. 

Seungmin snorted, "wait, are you talking about the meme or..." your lack of a response made Seungmin follow your gaze (or glare) to where Chris was seated at the other end of the table, giggling and smiling as he spoke with the other secretaries. 

"Ah," Seungmin nodded, understanding now why your spoon hadn't moved an inch from your bowl, your grip around it almost death-like. 

"What are you so mad about? He's not doing anything?" 

You shot Seungmin a pointed look, your voice lowering to a murmur, "can't you see it? With them he's all rainbows and unicorn shit but with me it's like just smiling would kill him." 

You heard the secretaries letting out giggles and impressed sounds at something Chris had just said, the sound itself enough to make you annoyed. 

Seungmin's eyebrows furrowed, looking at you in scepticism, "you know the secretaries are only being nice because they're interns, right? I heard from one of them that they're actually really scared of him." 

Seungmin brought his chopsticks to his mouth, taking a piece of food from your bowl that he knew you weren't going to eat anyway, "especially after they saw how he spoke to you during the meeting the other day,"

You scoffed, "good to know that I was the warning." 

Your phone buzzed, signalling a text from your boyfriend. Strangely enough, it'd been a while since you'd texted him, since you were busy with work and he was busy with school. 

Ignoring it initially, too distracted by Chris, it wasn't long before you saw his caller ID show up on the screen, getting Seungmin's attention. 

"I think you should answer that," he gestured, making you glance around the table in your hesitance, not knowing if it would be rude to just exit halfway. 

Picking up the phone-call, you'd turned your head, lowering your volume to a murmur, "hello?" 

"Hey, can we talk? I really need to tell you something." 

You winced, "is it urgent? I'm at a team dinner right now." 

Your boyfriend sighed, scoffing, "it really is always work with you, huh." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

You glanced at the table, standing up to excuse yourself. Chris's expression read confusion, eavesdropping on a secretary asking what happened, Seungmin replying that it was your boyfriend calling. 

You'd made your way outside the restaurant, Chris glancing in your direction and spotting you walk past the restaurant's windows, a part of him shaking off whatever curiosity that lingered in him as he focused on his conversation. After all, you did tell him you could handle yourself, right? 

Where you were, you'd moved to a quieter spot outside the restaurant, "okay, I can talk now. What's up?" 

You kicked at the ground absently as you awaited his reply. 

"Look, are you free to meet tonight? There's something I need to tell you." 

"Uh..." you glanced into the restaurant, making eye contact with Chris before looking away, "I've got to work later, though. I need to get some research done for this review that i'm behind on, I don't wanna meet you if i'm just gonna end up on my computer while you're there, you know?" 

Your boyfriend nodded, "you know, that's kind of what i wanted to talk to you about." 

"Oh," a feeling of dread was building in your stomach, recognising your boyfriend's tone to be the one he used whenever he was talking about something serious. 

The first time you heard it was when you witnessed him on a work phone-call, the second being how he spoke to your parents the first time they'd met, but this time, you had a feeling you knew what was coming. 

"Let's break up." 

You fell silent, not knowing how to respond to his words. 

"Is it, um.... is it because of my work?" You asked, a part of you not being able to come to terms with the fact that it could have been your fault, "because you know I can't do anything about that." 

Your boyfriend sighed, "I know. I'm just talking about how you've been so emotionally invested in your work you don't even have the energy to maintain this relationship." 

You frowned, "what, what do you want me to do, quit my job? Will that be better for you?" 

"Look, i've been seeing someone," he began. Your heart sank. 

"And i'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of the reason. But... it was only when I started seeing her that I realised... things between us just weren't the same as before." 

Your heart felt heavy, a part of you knowing that he was making it a lot easier to be mad at him by confessing what he did, but another part of you couldn't help but prompt him further. 

"When did it start?" 

"That doesn't matter-" 

You sighed, taking your lower lip between your teeth, "it's fine, I just wanna know." 

"Fine, it was about a month in from you working for your new boss." 

You nodded slowly, still trying to process his words. You weren't quite sure what came over you when you saw Chris exiting the restaurant, turning to face your direction and spotting you in the alley. But it was as if you were so mad at yourself, mad at him, mad at your boyfriend (or ex-boyfriend now), that you'd ended the call, shoving your phone into the pocket of your blazer before heading over to where Chris was. 

"You guys aren't going home?" you heard one of the secretaries ask as you and Chris had approached his car, his driver already sitting in the car and waiting. 

Chris shook his head with a smile, "nope, we're heading back to the office." 

You mustered a smile as you bid them goodbye, you guessed this was probably the best time to bury yourself in your work as a poor coping mechanism after a breakup, as far as movie breakups went.  

The car-ride was silent, despite the pinging of your phone, making you switch it to silent mode halfway, earning a curious look from Chris, though he didn't make to ask you about it. 

Upon reaching the office, the both of you had gone back into your clockwork routine, as you sat in his office working on your computer and scribbling down on your notebook the important details you wanted him to check. Chris found that your background in law and journalism made it a lot easier whenever it came to reading and condensing information, which had only allowed him to trust you more when it came to getting tasks like that done, saving him precious time he could spend working on other things. 

The buzzing of your phone was growing more frequent, though it was as if you were oblivious to it now as you typed away at your computer. 

"Right, can you help to postpone tomorrow afternoon's meeting, and help me to make a reservation at the steak place, 2 people." 

You hadn't made to move, pulling your phone out but having gotten distracted at the multitude of missed calls and texts just because your boyfriend wanted to 'make sure you were okay'. Please. 

"Hello? Can you hear me?" you heard Chris call, snapping you out of your daze as his gaze searched your expression, trying to read your emotions. 

"Sorry, can you repeat that? I didn't hear you." 

Chris sighed, his annoyance at your phone that had lit up with a call again getting the better of him, "you know I don't ask you to stay later just for you to waste my time, you know." 

Your gaze hardened. There it was, the side of Chris that you had the 'privilege' of being at the brunt of, nowhere near the smiley giggly Chris you witnessed at the restaurant just now. 

"I said I was sorry. What do you want me to do?" 

Chris huffed, his gaze darting to your phone as he spoke, "reservation for 2 people tomorrow afternoon, the steak place my mom likes. Postpone tomorrow afternoon's appointment with Director Lee." He told you slowly, his tone as if speaking to a young child, which only served to piss you off even more. 

"Who's calling you?" he asked. 

You shook your head in dismissal, "my...uh..." you weren't sure how to respond, watching dumbly as he made his way to where you were, lifting your phone to read the contact before letting out a huff. 

"Okay, well you can tell your boyfriend that if you're gonna be this distracted at work, you can kiss your night goodbye." 

You inhaled deeply, absolutely upset but knowing there wasn't much you could do about it. You loved your job, even though you hated to admit it. Ever since Chris came in, you were getting a lot more work experience and exposure, especially with how he would make it mandatory for you to attend certain language courses that would help him whenever you accompanied him on networking events or business galas. 

And in that moment, you couldn't help but think back to what he'd said the first time he'd scolded you when he'd told you to figure out your priorities. Maybe your boyfriend called you at the right time, maybe you just weren't ready to focus on things other than your career at this point of time. 

Turning your phone off, you'd made sure Chris saw that it was off, raising your hands up in surrender, "done. I'll book your stupid reservation now." You stalked out before Chris could chime in with a 'watch your tone'. 

=== 

You'd been working for Chris for what was coming to 2 years now. The company had been reaping the results of their hard work for a while now, and you were thankful that even though you weren't as busy as before, you still managed to keep your job. Other than the fact that Chris’ hair was now back to dark brown, not much else had changed. 

Although, one tiny change you were starting to wish for was that Chris would at least try to make things a little more bearable for you. 

You were currently at a meeting with the directors where Chris was presenting the overview of the company's performance in the past month. You would have to say you were pretty satisfied with the work you'd both done on that, working a lot more efficiently now compared to when you'd first started out. 

Your silent admiration of the presentation was interrupted when one of the directors summoned you over to ask for a cup of coffee.

Doing as you were told ( much to Chris' dismay ), you'd gone and come back in record time with his hot cup of coffee, bending down and making your way to where the director sat, not wanting to prevent any of them from seeing what Chris was presenting. 

While he was presenting, it didn't take Chris very long to realise why the director had kept asking you for things, your position from where you were squatting next to him making it all-too-easy for him to ogle at you without you noticing. 

For some reason, this seemed to have gotten on Chris' nerves, especially because that director's secretary was simply minding her own business at the back of the room. 

Did Chris think what you were wearing that day was nice? He'd say he didn't but of course he did. But unlike the director, he preferred not to be so blatant about it, especially because you were always so rude towards him. 

You'd tensed momentarily when the director had grabbed your arm, about to get up when you heard Chris' voice get louder. 

"Y/N, I'd appreciate if you would stop distracting the directors and go back to your seat." 

(Later on, Seungmin would be struggling to hold back his laughter in the printing room when Chan told him to tell you to button up your blouse a little more. 

“Why can’t you just tell her yourself?” 

Chan scoffed, “knowing her, she’s just gonna think I was looking at her… chest or something.” 

Seungmin narrowed his eyes at Chan teasingly, “well, were you?” 

Chan waved him off with a groan, “just tell her, okay? The directors are having a field day with her looking like that.”)

You'd almost scoffed at the way the director had immediately let go of you, and you straightened up quickly, heading back to sit with the other secretaries. 

"That was harsh," you heard one of the secretaries murmur to you, making you shrug. 

"Whatever, not like I expected more from him anyway." 

(You did, you totally did. You'd kill for him to be less grating with his words). 

After the meeting, you'd felt a phone ring in your bag, pulling it out to see that Chris' mom was calling, obviously not having been able to reach him. Making your way to where he was, you'd interrupted his packing of his things. 

"Your mom is calling you," you'd told him out of habit, holding his phone out for him to take, jumping slightly when you'd heard one of the directors let out a dismayed grunt. 

"Is that any way to talk to your boss?" 

Your eyes widened, Chris seeming to be enjoying the situation play out before him as you regained your composure, looking back at Chris with a sickly sweet smile on your face. In front of the directors, you couldn't act up like how you usually did when it was just the both of you, so you had no choice but to be all smiles

"President Bang, your mother is calling you," you told him, and if you were annoyed, you didn't show it, having years of practice from dealing with the directors. 

"uh-huh," Chris smirked, taking the phone from your hands and answering it as he gestured for you to help him gather his papers. 

"No, mom. I’ve told you already, i’m really fine with how things are now. I'm not going on another one." 

Not that you cared, but you had to admit you were kind of curious as to what he was so insistently refusing.

"Yes, okay, bye," he hung up, handing the phone back to you. 

You'd tried your best to suppress your curiosity, seeing as he was about to be late for his next meeting with one of his friends if he hadn't hurried. 

Fixing your blouse, you'd carried your laptop in your arm as you walked with him back to his office, with you going into the lift first, Chris having chosen the wrong time to step in as a girl you recognised as one of the interns had done so too, the number of people squeezing into the lift causing her to jerk her arm, her coffee landing unceremoniously on Chris’ tie and shirt. 

Chris let out a hiss at the temperature of the liquid, eliciting a long string of apologies from the girl. You knew that if it was you that had spilled the coffee, he would be going on and on about carelessness now, but the intern obviously wasn’t you, and so you watched in envy as Chris had given her a smile, dismissing her apologies quickly. 

“It’s fine, really. I just hope you still have some coffee left to drink,” he laughed. 

Not only was he not upset, but he was joking with her too? 

You scoffed, rolling your shoulders back as you’d watched the numbers on the elevator rise till it reached your floor, the girl looking scared for her life when you’d cast her a look, bowing to you apologetically. 

“Where did you keep the spare change of clothes?” Chris asked as he’d begun loosening his tie. 

You hadn’t responded as he let you walk before him into his office, making your way over to one of the cupboards at the side of the room and opening it, pulling out a hanger with a nicely ironed set of work clothes. 

“You can go and get changed, I’ll wait here,” you murmured, Chris walking over to where you were and giving you his stained tie. 

God, you hoped his dry-cleaning run wouldn’t make you late for your lunch appointment. 

Looking at his tie, you brought it up closer to your face to inspect the material, it was a well-made tie, you had to say. Not too skinny, the material feeling almost luxurious in your hold, tempting you to put it on in your boredom. 

Hanging it round your neck, you mustered your best ‘Chris accent’.

“You should be accountable for your mistakes! Don’t you know how many people you’re inconveniencing? Now I have a tie that reeks of coffee, look,” you held up the tie with a gasp, “and my secretary’s gonna be late for her lunch meeting!” You pointed accusatorially at the small black penholder that sat on his desk. 

“Yeah! Do you know how much you’re inconveniencing me? I don’t ask you to show up to work to waste my time—“ 

You’d stopped in your tracks when you heard Chris clearing his throat, grimacing as you tried to regain your composure, taking off the tie as quickly as you could, holding it tightly in your palm as you turned to face him. 

“Having fun?” 

“No,” you shot back quickly, not even wanting to ask how long he’d been standing there. 

Walking over to you, he’d handed you his stained shirt, his expression like that of a parent that had caught their kid doing something they weren’t supposed to be doing. 

“You know, sometimes I wish you’d talk back to the directors like how you talk back to me.” 

Your eyes widened, confused at his sudden comment, but not having the time to respond as Chris continued. 

“Get these dry-cleaned over lunch. The stain’ll be harder to get out the longer you wait.” 

You huffed, already walking away from him, “well, when you say it like that I’d might as well go do it now.” 

You'd been keeping yourself busy with replying emails when you heard the elevator ding, the sound of footsteps getting louder before you saw a considerably young, suit-clad man walking towards your desk. 

"I'm here to see Chris? I'm Director Kang," he told you, though you didn't need him to introduce himself, knowing very well who he was. 

"He's in there," you held a finger up to signal him to wait as you picked up your desk telephone, pressing a button to page Chris. 

"Director Kang's here to see you." 

"Okay, send him in."

Chris closed the work he was doing on his desktop, making his way over to the leather couches as he saw his friend enter the room. 

"Yo, when were you planning on telling me about your hot secretary?" 

Chris' eyebrows raised, "didn't think that was something worth mentioning."

"Well, why not?" his friend frowned, his features pulling into one of shock, "wait, don't tell me... you guys are dating?" 

Chris rolled his eyes, "no, we're not. And please, for both our sakes, don't try anything funny with her." 

The director was about to respond, interrupted by your knocking on the door, the door opening slightly so you could enter. 

"Can I get you anything? Like a drink? Coffee? Tea?" you asked. 

The director simply looked at you curiously, sitting with his ankle resting on his other knee, "only if you'd care to join me." 

Chris glared at his friend, shutting him up quickly before he could say anything more, "coffee for him, I don't want a drink."

You nodded, exiting quickly.

"What did you come to tell me about?" 

"Must I have a reason to come and visit my beloved friend?" 

Chris rolled his eyes, "my time is precious." 

This made the director scoff, "is that your excuse now? Anyway, I came to ask if you were going for Brian's wedding next weekend." 

"Oh, yeah, right. He asked me about it last night and I said I would go, you?" 

Director Kang rolled his eyes, "can't, I've got a business trip that weekend." 

Chris hummed in acknowledgement, "that reminds me. I should get a gift for them soon. Who'd he say he was marrying again?" 

"This girl he met at work, she's nice. But, you know, not my type." 

As if that wasn't enough, Director Kang continued, "anyway, are you bringing a date?" 

He was interrupted once again by the sound of your knocking, the door opening as you made your way over to them, bending to place the cup of coffee down onto the table, making Director Kang gesture to you with his head, mouthing 'you should bring her'. 

Waving him off, Chris was eager to get Director Kang’s attention away from you, almost as if wanting to protect you from getting swayed by him, knowing the outcome was never too bright. 

"Y/N, you can go for an early lunch break today." 

Your eyebrows raised, the prospect seeming almost too good to be true. Since when was he so nice? 

"Huh? But I still have some stuff to hand the legal team..." you sounded unsure, though you did consider this to be luck since you were supposed to meet one of your friends from college for lunch today. 

Chris gave you a stern look, waving you off, making you raise your hands in surrender. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll go.” 

On your way out, you’d texted your friend that you were gonna be able to meet earlier, pleasantly surprised when she’d told you she was already in the area and that she was able to head over now. 

You’d managed to drop off Chris’ clothes for dry-cleaning before heading to the restaurant, spotting your friend already seated at your table. 

“Hey! Wow, you look great!” She told you, giving you a hug in greeting. 

“Feel a lot better compared to last year,” you joked, making her frown. 

“Your boss still giving you trouble?” 

Shrugging, you’d taken a seat, “nothing out of the ordinary. Seems like it’s part of his daily routine to annoy me.” 

She laughed, “I ordered our food already, if you don’t mind.” 

Shaking your head, you waved in dismissal, “no, yeah, I don’t mind. Thanks. Anyway, you look pretty good yourself, how’ve you been?” 

You didn’t miss the way she’d leaned closer to you, tucking her hair behind her ear in a pointed gesture, drawing your attention to the large gemstone on her ring. 

Your eyes widened, “no way.” 

She nodded, “I wanted to tell you sooner but you were so busy! I was glad enough I managed to squeeze in this lunch with you,” she told you, making you pout. 

“When’s the wedding?” You asked. 

“Next week. We’re going to have it in this beautiful church out of town, really really nice place,” she told you, “really romantic, too,” she added as an afterthought. 

You let out a deep sigh, “I hope you’re not going where I think you’re going with this.” 

She gave you a scandalised look, pausing as the waiter had come to deliver your food, “first of all, Brian has a lot of good-looking friends!” 

You gave her a look, prompting her to continue, “well, not that I’ve seen all of them but he tells me that a lot of them are single! And you know who else is single…” she pointed her finger towards you with an overly excited glint to her grin. 

“We’ve been through this a million times, Eujin. I’ve tried but it’s really hard to find a guy that’s willing to cope with… you know, my kind of schedule,” you gave her a tired (wistful) sigh, “and with my schedule, I doubt I have the time, not to mention the energy to date.” 

Eujin’s lips twisted into a frown, “but it’s been so long! Don’t you want to get back in the dating scene?” 

You scoffed, cutting into your food harshly before taking a bite. 

“Of course I do. But the last time I went on a date the guy basically shat on me for being a workaholic,” you huffed, “I mean, my boss’ working hours means my working hours, shouldn’t they just shit on him instead? Why is it my fault that he’s basically destroyed what I have left of a social life.” 

Eujin shot you a look of sympathy, “I’d say I pitied you, but it’s not like you can’t get a job anywhere else, you know?” 

You’d kept your mouth shut at that, “I know… it just… I can’t just leave when I’ve already gotten so used to how things work here.” 

Of course that was one reason, but you would never admit that there was a nagging inside of you that didn't trust Chris to look after himself if you weren't here, remembering how he'd overworked himself during a crucial period after he took over the company, and you'd found him passed out on his desk when you showed up to work that day. 

You'd sort of made a silent promise that as much as you didn't like him, you still cared for him in a way. In the way a secretary would care for her boss, totally. 

You decided to change the topic, not wishing to talk about your hopeless love life at the moment. 

“What’s the program gonna be like?” 

Eujin’s eyes lit up, setting her cutlery down as she clasped her hands together, “Okay, so. The plan is for it to be a sort of weekend-long thing,” she told you, holding her finger up. 

“Firstly, on Thursday night we’ll have a little girls night type thing, and then Friday is the rehearsal dinner, Saturday will kind of be a little rest day and then Sunday is the actual wedding,” she said, now holding up four fingers to you. 

Your head was spinning at the (rather enticing) thought of taking basically 4 days off of work, before the dread settled in that you had to ask Chris for permission to take those days off. 

“I hope my boss will let me take time off…” you murmured, already rehearsing in your head possible ways on how you could tell him. 

Eujin gave you a resolute look, “you can do it! If he says no just let me know, I’ll go over to your fancy office and fight whoever he is myself.” 

=== 

“How many days?” 

Chris had asked at your desk as he prepared to leave to meet his mom for lunch since she’d happened to be in the business district. 

You fiddled with your pen anxiously, “uh..4 days? Technically 3 and a half. But 2 of those are weekends I just need you to make sure you just don’t bother me on that weekend it’s a really important weekend.” 

Chris narrowed his eyes at you, unsure why you were so insistent on him leaving that weekend alone, nodding slowly. 

Whatever, he figured, she’s just lucky I’m busy that weekend too. 

“Okay.” 

“I swear I’ll—wait, you’re okay with it?” 

Chris shrugged, straightening his tie, “yeah. I’ve got something on that weekend too.” 

You let out a surprised hum, “oh… cool. Thanks…Mr Bang,” you added as a force of habit, not wanting to risk getting scolded for ‘insubordination’ again just because you didn’t call him by his honorific. 

Chris huffed, leaving before you could see his ears reddening. 

Over lunch, Chris’ mom had been inspecting him carefully as he ate, as if the answer to her worries lay in every piece of sushi he ate. 

“Is there something you’re not telling me? Are you… gay?” She asked, continuing, “because if you are you know you can just tell me, instead of constantly upsetting the girls I try to set you up with.” 

Chris gave her a unamused look, “mom, I’ve told you a thousand times. I would really love to date, but it’s hard to find someone with a similar work ethic as myself, that can keep up with my… lifestyle and who really understands my needs, you know?” 

This made Chris’ mom perk up, “that’s it! Why don’t you just date your secretary!” 

Chris almost choked on his sushi, fumbling to grab his glass of water to calm himself down and compose himself. 

“What,” he spoke between coughs, “gave you that idea?” 

His mom looked at him in disbelief, “whatever you just said, you were basically describing her, no? And plus, we’ve heard a lot of wonderful things about her from your uncle.”

Chris couldn’t help but entertain the possibility in his head. It was true, you did work at a very efficient pace with him, not to mention how spending almost everyday in such close contact with him made you understand his own needs and wants even better than he did on occasions. Chris shook his head, that wasn’t possible, right? You looked as though you’d absolutely hated him half the time, he’d be expecting too much from you if he’d expected you to fall for him. 

Chris shook his head, dismissing the thought from both him and his mom’s minds quickly, “no, mom. I’m fine with how things are between us right now.” 

Chris had let you leave the office earlier on Thursday, (much to your surprise) allowing you to have ample time to pack your bags and get a cab to the destination, Eujin having taken the liberty and helped you book your hotel beforehand. 

Upon reaching, you’d texted Eujin saying you’d reached. 

eujin 6:54pm -yay!! Lets just chill in one of our rooms, we can discuss it in the chatgroup!!- 

Trust her to be excitable even about the smallest things. 

You saw an incoming text from Seungmin. 

seungmin (personal)  6:54pm -what where r u I went over to find u but both u and Chris weren’t here- 

6:55pm -im at a friends wedding, took the weekend off-

seungmin (personal)  6:55pm -wow finally using your employee perks nvm then have fun- 

You’d checked in, marvelling at the cozy yet elegant look of the hotel as you made your way through the lobby, letting the lift take you up to your hotel room floor. 

Changing into more comfortable clothes, you’d seen the group chat saying to gather in Eujin’s room, with mentions of ordering pizza. Considering this was your first weekend away from work in a very, long while, you were determined to make the most of it, heading over to Eujin’s room. 

You hadn’t expected to be welcomed as warmly as you were, hearing comments of ‘we were so happy you could make it!’ Or ‘thank God you could take time off!’, sharing the same sentiments as them as you’d let Eujin pull you onto the bed, the softness of the sheets and pillows instantly making a content sigh leave you. 

“I ordered room service,” Eujin sing-songed, gesturing to the Champagne bottles and whatnot on the tray next to the bed. 

“I’ll have one,” you raised your hand, earning a laugh from one of your friends. 

“Tired from work?”  

You let out a loud groan, nodding. This made Eujin nod gravely, “I swear, if I ever see your boss in real life, I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind.” 

You scoffed, “you don’t even know what he looks like.” You’d gratefully accepted the glass of champagne that was handed to you. "and plus, he's not that bad, other than the fact that he finds joy in pissing me off. He just works too hard in my opinion." 

You’d spent your time enjoying the once chance you could relax to your heart’s content without feeling dread at having to wake up early the following day, enjoying yourself as you leant against the headboard of the bed, listening to stories about how they’ve been and how all of them were either planning on getting engaged soon, were in long-term relationships or already married. 

“You guys make me wanna get married too,” you pouted, earning bouts of laughter from them. 

“You’d have to actually date to do that, you know,” they told you pointedly, making you sigh. 

“You’re basically married to your job, already,” your friend chimed in, making you laugh. 

“Seems like that, doesn’t it? I was super shocked he’d let me have the weekend off, usually he’d be swarming me with emails about now.” 

“I’m excited to see Brian’s friends tomorrow, maybe there’ll be someone that catches your eye,” Eujin told you, making you shrug. 

“Just out of curiosity, though, what are you looking for in a guy? You know, we could help you keep an eye out too.” 

You hummed, shrugging. 

“I’ve never really thought of a specific…criteria I guess. I guess I’d just like someone that’s kind, looks out for me, doesn't underestimate me...sort of has the same lifestyle as me? Since it’s honestly been really hard to find someone that doesn’t hate my schedule.” 

You'd almost scoffed at the way your brain had refused to picture anyone else other than Chris while you thought about it, figuring it was probably because he was the only guy you were in constant contact with. 

Eujin looked at you resolutely, “we’ll do our best,” she held up a fist in an action to cheer you on. 

You shrugged, You figured maybe going into this with an open mind would do you some good. 

You changed the topic, directing the focus back to Eujin, “whatever, let’s just have fun, it’s your big day soon, let’s just celebrate!”

===

At the rehearsal dinner, you had yet to arrive, since you’d spent a little longer getting ready, choosing to use your opportunity to dress up a little more, not having the luxury to do so during your usual work days. 

You had texted Eujin that you were on the way with some of the other bridesmaids, her attention directed elsewhere when her fiancé had called her over. 

“Hey, wanted you to meet some of my friends from law school.” 

While being introduced, Eujin couldn’t help but wonder if they were single, remembering your mentioned criteria from the night before. 

“Oh, so are you guys all working in the law sector now?” 

Her husband shook his head, “All of them, except Chan here. He’s the ceo of Bang Mobile Media company.” 

Eujin’s eyes widened, glancing at the brown-haired boy cautiously, as if sizing him up. Y/N worked in a mobile company too, right? If she was remembering this correctly. Was it mobile or broadcasting? 

“Oh, wow. That’s impressive.” 

Eujin had let them introduce themselves more, not being able to help but think that Chan was nice, friendly, and rich on top of that? 

“I don’t get it, how are you single? You’re basically the whole package!” She wondered out loud, making Chan flush, giggling as he shook his head. 

Her husband seemed to have begged to differ, “Chan is incorrigible when it comes to his love life.” 

Eujin raised her eyebrows in surprise, not having expected someone so good-looking to have such a fate, “really? Is there a reason behind that?” 

“He’d never dated much, even back when he was in Australia. He was always super dedicated to his work,” this had served to make Eujin even more positive about this guy’s prospects as a suitor for you. 

“Oh my god, you’re exactly like one of my friends, I should totally introduce her to you when she comes later.” 

“Hey, cut him some slack,” one of his friends had spoken up, “Chan can’t cheat on his job.” 

Eujin felt her phone vibrate signalling a notification, pulling it out to see that you’d arrived already, excusing herself and practically running over to the entrance of the venue. “Chan, you stay put, I have just the perfect girl to introduce you to!” 

“Y/N! You have to come quick, I think I found the perfect guy for you.” 

Your eyes widened, clutching onto the chain of your bag as you followed her into the room. 

“He’s really nice, and friendly, and he’s good-looking! Really cute dimples! And on top of that he’s loaded. I’m so excited for you to meet him.” 

Letting her drag you along, you’d distracted yourself with the atmosphere of the area, wondering just how much it would cost to book a venue like this, tugging down your dress that was hiking up from practically running after Eujin. 

“Hey, I have someone I’d like you to meet. Chan, this is Y/N,” Eujin chirped, the names causing the both of your heads to shoot up, locking eyes with each other as a feeling of doom built in the pit of your stomach. 

Your eyes widened in panic, glancing down at your attire, back to him, who was dressed in a flowy black shirt that you were sure cost more than your one week’s pay, the top few buttons of his shirt undone to reveal a simple silver necklace, and fitted black pants, your gaze landing on the small silver rings on his ears, almost feeling as though you were looking at a different person. 

Chris thought so too, seeming to have the same panic as you as he tried not to let his gaze linger too long on your dress, nodding his head at you in greeting, “nice to uh…meet you.” 

His ears had felt hot as you nodded back at him, almost startling when Eujin had cheered, leaning over to whisper to you, “I’ll make sure you guys get to sit next to each other.” 

You were about to protest when she’d left, leaving you standing at the bar with Chris. 

“So, Y/N, how do you know the bride to be?” 

You gulped, wanting to slap yourself for how your gaze had kept returning to Chris, unable to shake the feeling of needing to be in work-mode now with his presence before you. 

“Oh, uh, we were friends since college,” you answered simply. 

“Cool, did you guys have the same major?” Chris had to stop himself from glaring at his friend, a strange feeling inside of him as he recognised the look on his friend’s face and his posture to be that which he used whenever he was interested in a girl. 

You shook your head, “uh, not quite. I majored in law but she majored in journalism.” You tried to respond as calmly as you could, not being able to shake Chris’ gaze off of you, feeling as though at any moment he was going to call you out for something you weren’t even aware of.

You saw the guy practically light up at the mention of law. 

“Woah, that’s really coincidental. All of us met in law school,” he gestured to the group of them, making you laugh nervously. 

“Where are you guys um… dates?” You asked, immediately regretting the question when you saw the way Chris was practically glaring at you. 

You didn’t understand why he was glaring at you, wasn’t it a valid question? 

“We didn’t bring dates, unfortunately. Did you?” 

You shook your head, making Chris snort. “Does it look like she brought a date? She literally came in alone.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him, unsure where his spitefulness was coming from, especially when his friend was just trying to make conversation with you. 

You scoffed, folding your arms. “Yeah, pity. Maybe I’d have time to date if I wasn’t always so busy running around doing shit for my boss,” you cast a pointed glance at him, bringing a hand up to nonchalantly run it through your hair. 

Chris smirked, two could play at this game.

“Same here, I’d probably have the time to date too if my secretary wasn’t always causing trouble.” 

“Your secretary?” His friend spoke up, “I heard from someone she was pretty cute, and nice too.” 

You’d almost wanted to agree, realising that if you did it would put you in a pretty compromising position, simply acting surprised. 

“If I had a secretary like that, I’d just date her,” one of his friends had spoken up, making your eyes widen, wracking your brain for possible responses. 

“Who knows, are you a workaholic?” You asked pointedly, earning amused grunts and laughs from his friends, “ah… it’d be too bad if I was your secretary, then. I absolutely can’t stand dating workaholics.” 

Chris narrowed his eyes at you, the both of you knowing you were just as bad at him, replying calmly, “oh, you can’t stand dating workaholics? Me neither.” 

You were thankful that Eujin had given you a small break when she'd invited everyone to take their seats so dinner could be served, wincing when you'd ended up sitting next to Chris out of habit, momentarily forgetting that you weren't attending a networking session. 

You'd hoped and prayed that you wouldn't slip up more than you already did. As much as you'd wanted to spite him, he was still your boss, and you knew he'd give you an earful for even the slightest hint of disrespect ( which you were sure you'd surpassed already ). 

Focusing on the gorgeous food they'd served you, you saw the waiter pick up the bottle of wine, pouring it for you. 

Having been oblivious, the waiter was about to pour a glass for Chris as well, making your secretary-instincts kick in, your arm darting across Chris to stop the waiter in time. 

"No, Mr Bang, you shouldn't drink that." 

Chris would have looked fairly amused if he wasn't stressed out by your proximity, with you practically leaning over him to speak to the waiter. 

You'd cursed internally, wincing at the way Chan's friend had looked at you, tilting his head in confusion. 

"Mr Bang? And how do you know his alcohol preference?" 

Chris let out a nervous giggle as you straightened up, "uh...well um like...you know it's a really funny story actually... we're um..." 

Not being able to bear his awkward fumbling any longer, you'd butt in, "We work in the same company. Yeah." 

You were lucky his friend had bought it, simply nodding in understanding, "no wonder, you guys were being so weird just now." 

Chris scoffed, "what weird?" 

You turned around in your chair, pretending to pick up your bag, "stop, you're making it worse," you murmured so he could hear you, making him bring his glass of water to his lips. 

One of your girl friends had spoken up, halfway through the meal, "wait, i just realised. If you guys work in the same office, then you must know her boss right? That dude is crazy. We all thought it was a miracle that she could take time off for the wedding," 

You glared at your friend, trying to subtly shake your head in your attempt to stop her, but she was oblivious, "she doesn't like it when we badmouth him but it's true! Ever since she started working for him it's like her social life just disappeared. Her boss is always her first priority." 

You'd never related more to how people said they wished the ground would swallow you whole. Looking down at your food, you'd tried to remain nonchalant about it, but Chris who was next to you was looking at your friend with wide eyes. 

"Oh, really? What else does she say about him?" 

You laughed nervously, waving your hands in dismissal, "nothing that concerns you."

Chris turned to you, dropping his volume to a murmur, "is that so? because i'm hearing all this and i'm getting the feeling it definitely concerns me." 

You let out a huff of anxious laughter, bringing your glass to your lips, consuming your drink in sips because your boss was sitting next to you, but secretly wishing you could down it all in one go. 

Soon enough, all your anxious sipping had made you reach an empty glass, the waiter coming over to refill it for you, earning an eyebrow raise from Chris. 

"Leave me alone," you huffed. 

Chris simply laughed, "what? I didn't say anything." 

You'd tried to pay attention to the proceedings of the wedding rehearsal, and after dessert was served people had started to mingle around more, the drinks having started to kick in as you'd felt a lot more relaxed. 

It was safe to say Eujin was as well, going around to talk to the guests and thank them for coming out of town for the celebrations. 

Soon enough, you were almost done with your fourth glass, oblivious to the way Chris was looking at you, impressed yet concerned. Feeling skinny arms drape over your shoulders, you turned your head to see none other than Eujin, cooing at you affectionately. 

"Tell your boss a huge thank you for letting you have this weekend. I couldn't even get to see you on my birthday or for the engagement party, but i'm so so glad you're here now." 

You couldn't help but glance at Chris, knowing that you'd missed both of those events because you were helping him with something. The first being when he'd almost overworked himself enough to warrant a visit to the hospital since he hadn't been sleeping or eating well (after that, you swore you'd make sure this man was getting his three meals if you could help it), and the second time being when you had to accompany him to a keynote session out of town. 

You were starting to think maybe there was a little more to unpack behind your reasons why you stayed working for Chris Bang. Your only consolation at this point of time being that the rehearsal dinner was ending soon, meaning that you could finally escape the suffocating tension you were feeling. 

"Wanna hitch a ride back together? I drove here." 

You'd almost declined, feeling as if you didn't have a right to be in his car if it wasn't work-related. Chris had seemed to sense your hesitation, simply not waiting for a reply and walking off, hoping his smile wasn't too obvious when he'd heard you jogging to meet his pace. 

He'd surprised you even more when he'd opened the passenger door for you, shutting it gently after you'd gotten in. 

You'd given in to the comfort of his car almost immediately, more-so when Chris had gone to take something from the boot of his car, getting into the driver's seat and draping the soft blanket over your lap. 

"The drive back's pretty long, might wanna make yourself comfortable." 

And you were comfortable, very comfortable. Chris had started to play some music from his playlist, something about his behaviour almost making you forget that he was the same boss that had worked you to the bone for over a year. 

"I'm sorry," you suddenly spoke, once you were in the city, "about what my friends said," you weren't sure where all your courage was coming from, maybe it was the many glasses of wine, but whatever it was, it was putting Chris in an awfully reflective mood. 

"And what I said," you added as an afterthought. 

Chris took his lower lip between his teeth, shaking his head, “nah, don’t worry about it.”

Obviously, that seemed too good to be true, and you’d looked over at his expression in your attempt to figure out if he was being sincere. He was definitely gonna fire you. 

“I’m not gonna fire you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m just kind of…like, you know, wondering,” he began, “the uh… engagement party and the birthday party that you um… you know, that you missed. Were they both because of me?” 

You pursed your lips, nodding, “but it wasn’t your fault, you know. The first one was when you’d passed out… you know, at the office, remember?” 

He nodded, prompting you to continue, “the next one was a keynote session that I had to follow you to.” 

Chris gulped, his throat feeling dry all of a sudden. This whole time he wouldn’t have guessed you’d been giving up these things for him from how willing you’d seemed to work. Was this considered neglecting the needs of my employee? Probably. But whatever it was, Chris knew that he was being harsh on you more for his own sake than yours, but he was only starting to realise now that that might not have been such a good tactic.

Chris was already pulling into the hotel, stopping at the valet services as you’d slung your bag over your shoulder, Chris coming out to open your door for you, making you grimace, feeling as though you should've been the one to open it for him. 

Walking into the hotel lobby, you'd glanced at your phone, seeing as Eujin had texted you tomorrow's plans, "did you get the schedule for tomorrow? I can forward it to you-" 

Chris let a giggle escape him, nodding, "you know they would've sent it to me too, right?" 

Your lips parted in realisation, nodding as you went over to press the lift button before he could even reach over to do so, "right, forgot." 

You were sure it was something about your intoxicated state that was making you instinctively go into work mode, whatever relaxation you thought you would be getting on this weekend now seeming all too far from reach. 

"Uh... I can check what time the hotel serves breakfast and arrange for something to be sent to your room if you want-" 

"Y/N," his tone was enough to make you straighten up, goosebumps rising on your skin for some reason. 

Chris was looking at you in amusement, one hand shoved into his pocket, "you're not working, remember? This is your rest weekend." 

Your eyebrows knit in a frown, chewing on your lip as you averted your gaze, "I know but it's just... like I didn't expect to see you here and now that you are I can't help but feel like I'm at work or something," you'd turned to wonder what was taking the elevator so long, watching as the numbers had gone lower and lower, completely skipping your floor and heading to the carpark. 

"You know what? How about this," he began, pausing momentarily when you heard the elevator ding, stepping inside the empty elevator and pushing your floor button, your heart almost stopping when he hadn't made to press any button. 

"You're on the 14th floor too?" He nodded. 

"Anyway, as I was saying. To make things easier for you, let's just pretend we don't know each other, that i'm not your boss, you're not my secretary. We're just... two people that met at a wedding? You don't have to do anything for me as long as we're here, hmm?" he offered, seeming to sense your hesitance 

"Look, I'll go first," he stretched his hand out as if to ask for a handshake, "hello, nice to meet you, i'm Chan." 

"Chan?" 

He nodded, "my friends call me Chan. People only call me Chris at work." 

You'd brought your hand up slowly, grasping his in yours, the cold metal of his rings against your skin more obvious when he'd given your hand a small squeeze. 

"Nice to meet you, Chan. I'm Y/N?" you tried, looking at him for approval and earning a nod from him, trying your best to ignore the way he was smiling. 

"Yes, that's your name," he laughed. 

Letting go of his hand, you were thankful the elevator had reached your floor without any interruptions, realising just how lucky you were to have not bumped into him earlier on as he'd continued walking with you to your room, gesturing to the door opposite your room with wide eyes. 

"My room's here." 

You made to take out your hotel room key, hearing him clear his throat, and you'd turned around rapidly to face him, strangely eager to know what he was about to say. 

"Say, Y/N, I'd love to, you know, get to know you more. What do you think about getting brunch with me tomorrow?” 

You opened and closed your mouth for lack of a response. This was inappropriate, right? But then again, you weren’t working this weekend. And technically, in this situation, Chan wasn’t your boss. So, there was nothing to lose. 

You nodded, “Yeah. That sounds…nice.” 

=== 

“Sounds kind of suspicious if you asked me,” you heard Seungmin’s voice over the speaker, making you sigh. You were already ready, lounging on your bed as if to mentally prepare yourself for a stupid lunch. 

“Right? I don’t know what he’s trying to get out of this.” 

Seungmin knew. But it’s not as if he was going to tell you, no, that was Chan’s job not his. Frankly, he’d had enough of listening to the both of you whine about your apparent personal vendetta against each other. He watched his fair share of movies, Seungmin knew how these things worked. 

“Maybe it’ll give you a chance to actually talk to each other like normal human beings instead of just bickering all the time for no reason.” 

“I have a reason, I’ll have you know.” 

Seungmin scoffed, “really? Enlighten me, then.”

You’d fumbled for a reason, stuttering in your failure to find something that validated your annoyance towards Chan. 

“I don’t know, his dimples are stupid.” 

Seungmin wanted to laugh, “so you’re telling me, you just can’t stand him because of his stupid dimples?” 

Your attention was diverted when you’d felt your phone vibrate, signalling an incoming text from Chan. 

boss  11:20am -meet u outside your hotel room in 10?- 

“Shit, he wants to meet me in 10 minutes.” 

Seungmin shrugged, “10 minutes is more than enough time for you to come up with a less shitty reason why you don’t like him. Or for you to realise that you don’t actually hate him.” 

You scoffed, burying your face into your sheets as you thought of a reason. 

“Okay, I’ve got it. I just don’t like how he treats everyone so nicely and then treats me like I’m some incompetent kid.” 

“You know for a fact he doesn’t think you’re incompetent. He literally trusts you more than he does the other staff.” 

You scoffed, “yeah, whatever. But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s so condescending about it, he thinks of me i’m some kid that doesn’t know anything.” 

Seungmin snorted, remembering the incident where Chan had asked him to tell you to button up your blouse after the directors behaviour during a meeting. 

“Oh, he definitely doesn’t see you as a kid,” Seungmin cackled, earning an eye roll from you.

Glancing at the time, you saw how it was almost 11:30, “okay, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.” 

Ending the call, you’d slung your small bag around your shoulder, giving one last glance at your appearance in the mirror in the bathroom before leaving your hotel room, startling when you’d spotted Chan there. 

Dressed in a black pullover and jeans, Chan smiled at you, bringing a hand up to touch his ear, “morning,” he greeted. 

“Good morning,” you huffed nervously.

He’d already begun walking, making you follow beside him, “did you get a good sleep?” 

His eyebrows raised at your question, nodding at you. His hair was curlier than usual, not styled up like you usually saw. “you?” 

You nodded, following him in silence as you’d gone down the list, realising he’d pressed the ground floor instead of where they were serving food on the 3rd floor. 

“You pressed the wrong floor,” you began, not expecting to see the pleading smile on his face.

“Actually, I was thinking of bringing you to this place nearby, I’ve been there before and it’s pretty good.” 

Your first thought was to wonder if it was expensive, knowing that this time you didn’t have the company card to fall back on. 

“Is it expensive?” You asked, seeing him shrug. 

“Not really.” 

Only when you’d reached the area did you realise how much of an understatement Chan made. The restaurant was a small cozy-looking place that served food that you’d only heard of up till now, located along a line of boutiques selling unusual trinkets and handmade items. 

Upon reaching, you and Chan had been led up upstairs to an outdoor seating area of the restaurant, the view of the scenery accompanied with the breeze instantly putting you in a relaxed mood. 

“Do you like it?” He asked, almost sounding nervous. 

Nodding reassuringly, you’d wanted to run away when you saw the way he’d walked over to where you were, pulling your chair out for you to sit on, making you flush. Never in your life would you have thought your boss would be pulling out your chair for you.

“You know, you don’t have to do that,” you told him, using the menu to hide your face from view, pulling it down slightly to watch how he’d rest his forearm on the table, scanning through the menu with a smirk on his face, his (stupid) dimples appearing on his cheeks. 

“I wanted to. You’d never let me do it for you on any other occasion.” 

You had to admit that there was some truth to what you were saying, choosing to change the subject by telling him you’d decided on what you wanted to eat, choosing something that was still within your budget for the weekend. 

Beckoning the waiter over, Chan pushed his sleeves up to his elbows as he ordered for the both of you, the waiter asking what drinks you would want, a teasing smile on Chan’s face when you’d insisted on water.

“What?” You scoffed, earning a shake of the head from him. 

“Nothing.” 

You’d leant back in your seat, about to tie your hair up into a ponytail, hearing the buzzing of your phone, reading the caller id to see that it was your mom trying to video call you. 

Sitting up quickly, you were about to excuse yourself when Chan had reached over, swiping to answer the call as he lifted the phone, pointing it towards you, his other hand beckoning for you to continue. 

“Hey, mom,” you spoke through gritted teeth, your rubber band between your teeth as you worked quickly to bunch your hair into a ponytail, Chan wanting to slap himself with how his ears had started to feel hot. 

“Hey, honey. Where are you? I called the office but they said you were on leave?” 

You secured your hair, taking the phone from Chan with a grateful murmur of ‘thanks’, making your mother’s eyes narrow, “who are you with?” 

“I’m attending Eujin’s wedding this weekend. I’m just uh…with a friend.” 

Chan looked away to clear his throat, catching your mom’s attention, “guy? I thought you told me you weren’t dating anyone.” 

This had caught Chan’s attention, having remembered Seungmin telling him that you’d broken up with your boyfriend. 

“No, yeah, mom it’s just a friend. Can I call you later?” 

Your mom’s eyebrows lifted, looking at you with a cheeky smile on her face, “oh, oh. Yes, of course you can. Have fun, baby.” 

You hung up quickly, shoving your phone back into your bag, looking up at Chan in question as to why he looked so surprised. 

“Your mom doesn’t know you have a boyfriend?” He asked, as if wanting that confirmation for himself, not feeling comfortable with pursuing his feelings if you were still in a relationship. 

You shook your head, “no uh…I broke up with my boyfriend a long time ago.” 

Chan’s lips pursed, nodding, “oh… sorry.” 

You shook your head, not being able to help a breathy laugh from leaving you, “don’t be. He was…it was for the best.” 

“D’you mind if I ask why? You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to, I’m just kind of…curious.” 

You shrugged, not feeling as inclined to hide the information, since it was in the past now. 

“Nah he just… our schedules always clashed and I was always too tired by the end of the day to go out to find him and I guess it like, you know, sort of reached a point where I started prioritising my work and it didn’t work out.” 

Chan nodded slowly, the waiter coming over to serve you your food, “go ahead, you can start eating first.” 

You shook your head, insisting on waiting for his food to arrive before starting. “But I’m honestly fine now, it’s been more than a year since we broke up.” 

Chan huffed in amusement, “is that why you said you can’t stand dating workaholics?” 

Your giggles bubbled out of you, “honestly, I only said that to spite you. I’d much rather date someone that understands my schedule and reaches a compromise with me instead of just always expecting me to drop everything at their beck and call.” 

Chan nodded, “I get that. Yeah, work is important and all but… I feel like if you really loved someone you’d find any moment you could to be with them. Well, for me at least.” 

You laughed, “kind of hard, when we spend almost every waking moment with each other.” 

You’d looked up from your food when Chan hadn’t responded, the waiter finally coming over to serve his food, though his expression remained, looking at you as though he’d wanted to say something. 

“yeah,” he huffed eventually, starting to eat his food. 

You’d shocked yourself with how comfortable you were in his presence with the knowledge that you weren’t working. This was what you wanted, wasn’t it? To have Chris treat you nicely like how he did the other employees. Only now you were realising how easy it was to catch feelings for him just from this one change. 

Maybe you were kind of thankful he made it easier for you to hate him previously. 

It was true that you understood him better than most, and that he understood you as well, knowing what got on your nerves and what didn’t, how you worked and how you responded to things. Albeit there were a few things he still didn’t understand, you couldn’t deny that Chan was well-liked in the office for a reason, and you were beginning to experience that reason for yourself. 

Chris had been mulling over what his mother had told him about you, wondering if you were feeling the same tension that he was even as you talked about pointless things that made you wonder why you hadn’t talked about them sooner. 

Not that it was a bad kind of tension (or maybe it was), but it was akin to the feeling of knowing that you would both have to confront a realisation soon. 

“Are you doing anything tonight?” He asked as you were heading back to the car, earning a shrug from you. 

“My friends wanted to have some kind of girls night thing, you?” 

He sighed, nodding, “same, the guys and I are going out for drinks.” 

You shot him a look, “drinks?” 

He laughed, shaking his head, “I can hold my alcohol, I just choose not to drink.” 

Your eyes widened, “and I’m only finding this out now because? Do you remember when I had to drink your drinks for you during the first networking session because you lied to me and told me you couldn’t drink that!”

Chan flushed, “I wasn’t lying, technically. I really couldn’t drink that, I don’t like white wine.” 

You shot him a harmless glare, this time, letting him open the door for you as you got into the passenger’s seat. 

“Don’t drink too much tonight, yeah?” He gave you an amused huff as he started the engine of the car. 

“You too,” you held your pinky out for him to make a promise. 

Chan nodded, linking his pinky with yours as he leaned closer to you, “deal.” 

=== 

You’d heard the sound of beeping at your door that night, wondering what all the ruckus was all about, getting out of bed, taking your hotel room key and pausing the show you were watching on your phone, making your way over to your door carefully. 

“Why isn’t the card working?” You heard a tell-tale Australian accent muffled through the door, looking through the peephole to see a head of messy brown hair, looking as though Chan was leaning against the door. 

Opening the door slowly, you’d acted quickly to grab Chan by the shoulders to steady him before he could stumble forward, the confused boy holding up his hotel key and looking at you in confusion. 

“This isn’t my room?” 

You couldn’t help but laugh, turning him around as you’d ushered him a few steps forward to his hotel room door, “this,” you pointed at the door, “is your room, Chan.” 

He giggled, “you called me ‘Chan’.” 

Taking his hand, you scanned his hotel key, bringing him into his room, finding it awfully neat (unlike yours), smoothly guiding him to his bed and letting him flop onto it. 

Letting out a sigh, you couldn’t help but to feel rather endeared, seeing him open his eyes slowly to look at you, tilting his head. 

“Sorry, I promised I wouldn’t drink so much.” 

You shook your head, reaching over him to grab at his blanket, your movements ceasing abruptly when you’d felt his hand on your back as you hovered over him, his hand moving from your back to your head, patting it gently. 

Pulling the blanket up harshly in your panic to cover him, straightening up as quickly as you could. 

“Shut up, go to sleep. Goodnight,” you said, hurriedly exiting the hotel room and going back to your room, closing the door behind you and trying to calm your rapid heartbeat. 

The next time you’d seen him was at the hotel lobby, where you’d agreed to meet him so you could head to the wedding venue together. Chan had come down wearing a nice suit, something you were more used to seeing him in, his hair styled up in a familiar manner. 

Greeting each other, you’d both decided to pretend the night before hadn’t occurred. With you being one of the bridesmaids and Chan being one of the groomsmen, you were separated almost immediately upon reaching the venue, with him having to help his friend while you helped Eujin. 

“A little birdie told me you came together with Chan,” she sing-songed. 

You scoffed, “aren’t brides usually supposed to be freaking out by now?” 

“Don’t change the topic! So, did you guys hang out yesterday?” 

You shrugged, “yeah, I guess we did.” 

She narrowed her eyes at you, “so? Is there a verdict?” 

You went behind her to take her bouquet, handing it to her as you waved her off in dismissal. 

“Too early to tell,” you lied. 

“Stop avoiding the question! Or else I’ll just have to ask Chan myself,” she huffed sulkily, making your eyes widen. 

“No, don’t do that! Okay, fine. It’s good. He’s nice.” 

Even Eujin’s makeup artist was giving you a knowing look now, making you cower under their gaze. 

“Shut up, focus on your wedding, please.” 

You wished you could’ve done some focusing for yourself, with Chan’s friends nudging him when you’d gone to the back of the church to line up with the groomsmen, all of them seeming to have conspired to let you walk with Chan. 

“Why do you look more nervous than the bride?” He teased, holding his arm out for you to take, making you roll your eyes, bringing your hand up to grasp his arm. 

“You’re delusional.” 

Okay, maybe he wasn’t. You wished you could’ve taken your advice, having been distracted throughout almost the entire ceremony, your gaze constantly flickering over to Chan, and you were sure he’d noticed too, with the way he would smirk and avert his gaze to the floor in his attempt to stop himself from laughing. 

Shouldn’t he be the one that was nervous? He was the one that had shown up drunk at your hotel room. 

After the ceremony had ended and you were all done taking photos with the bride and groom, Chan had offered you a ride to the reception venue, and you’d accepted, not knowing that you would’ve had to squeeze in a car full of his friends too. 

Sitting at the passenger’s seat (thankfully), you’d prayed for the ride to be shorter as his friends had started to question you and Chan. 

“Is there something going on with you two?” 

“None of your business,” Chan sing-songed, only serving to spur his friends on even more, your eyes widening when you’d heard one of his friends murmur.

“Wait, but didn’t he say he had a thing for his secretary?” 

Your hand went up to cover your mouth as discreetly as you could, clutching the bag of your wedding gift for Eujin and her husband and looking out of the window in your attempt to keep your composure. 

Chan had seemed to share your sentiments, his eyes widening as he panicked behind the steering wheel, his mind racing with things he could possibly do to prevent you from hearing what his friends were so freely spouting.

“Oh, did he? Then there can’t be anything going on with her, right?” 

Chan had reached over to turn the volume of the music up, much to your fortune, not knowing if you would’ve been able to handle hearing them talk more about Chan’s love life. 

Eujin wasn’t kidding when she said that she’d make you and Chan sit next to each other, and you’d ended up at a table with Chan nearer to the front, with a few of your friends and their partners. Watching Eujin and her husband enter the hall, you’d been filled with excitement at how happy she had looked, clapping and cheering for them along with the rest of the guests. 

Once they were seated, Eujin and her husband had begun to make their own speeches, thanking the respective groups of people for coming, and you didn’t miss her pointed mention of how she hoped the guests would use this time to get to know each other as well. 

The way Eujin had done things was that dinner was served so that the guests could listen to the speeches and enjoy their meals at the same time, which you didn’t mind since you were absolutely starving. 

You didn’t miss the way Chan had been subtly looking out for you during the dinner, like how he would casually ask if you needed anything whenever he would get up to go to the bar, or how he’d brushed your hair behind your ear so it wouldn’t get into your food (not without a tut of his tongue), earning many surprised looks from your friends which he was oblivious to. 

You figured he was really making use of the ‘let’s pretend we don’t know each other’ thing as an excuse to be nice to you, not that you were complaining.  

You glanced at your phone, skimming over the texts that one of the intern secretaries had sent you to ask you for help, making your friend curious. 

“Is that your boss?” 

You shook your head, “nah it’s just one of the interns asking me for help with something,” you shrugged, setting your utensils down as you swiped into your email app, ready to clarify the problem for her, making Chan furrow his eyebrows in annoyance. 

Reaching over, he’d taken your phone from you, locking it and dropping it back into your bag, ignoring your look of confusion. 

“Hey, I was just gonna email her!” 

“They’re not supposed to be asking you to do things for them while you’re on leave. No working, this is your rest weekend.” 

You’d shut your mouth at that, deciding that it wouldn’t do you any well to go against him, wanting to pull your phone out to just read the emails but dropping your phone back when you saw the look he gave you daring you to continue. 

Your friend had seemed to be fairly amused by your exchange, shooting a look at Chan, “wow, now I’m really glad you’re here. You’re the only one so far that’s managed to stop her from checking on her work when she’s supposed to be resting.” 

You scoffed. Yeah, because the source of your work was sitting right next to you in a stupid suit. 

“Good to know,” he gave you a knowing smile, making you direct your attention back the waiters, seeing that they were serving desserts now. 

“Your friends make me sound like i’m a hard-ass,” he leaned closer to you to murmur, making you smile, nodding. 

“Well, they’re not entirely wrong,” you drawled, making Chan scoff, though not being able to help the laugh from leaving him. 

He nodded slowly, his expression looking fairly amused, “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

You wondered just for a moment if he was only being nice to you for the sake of his own conscience (though Seungmin would beg to differ). And by the late afternoon, you were already starting to feel drowsy from the afternoon weather, the skies darkening as though it were about to rain. Chan had figured it would be good to start heading back. 

After you’d bid goodbye to Eujin, who seemed more than eager for you to leave together with Chan, Chan had offered to drive a few of his friends back to the hotel together with you, and thankfully this time they hadn’t mentioned anything about his love life. 

“Tired?” Chan huffed with a smile, glancing at you momentarily before fixing his gaze back on the road. 

“Yeah,” you murmured, yawning. 

“You should get some sleep when you get back to the hotel.” 

You nodded, “you too.” 

Chan nodded patronisingly, earning a huff from you, too tired to bicker with him. something in him stirring at how he could’ve been acting like this with you a lot earlier if he wasn’t always masking his concern with rude phrasing. 

His mom sure was gonna be excited the next time he updates her. 

=== 

You hadn’t gotten as much of a rejuvenating sleep as you would’ve liked, reality having kicked in that you were back to work tomorrow, the feeling lingering unsettlingly in your chest as you tried to make the most of the rest of your night. Somehow, you’d found your way to the lounge in the hotel, though that didn’t help much in lessening your dread for tomorrow seeing as the only other people here were people working on their laptops.

You figured it was not so much of dreading work than dreading Chan’s change in personality once he went back to being your boss. 

Letting your head rest on the stiff cushion of the chair you were sitting on, you’d fiddled with your phone, texting Seungmin about what had happened today. 

You’d almost startled in your seat when you saw someone take a seat next to you, turning to see Chan, his tie long gone as his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, his hair already falling out of place as he simply looked at you. 

Raising your eyebrows in a silent question as to ask why he was here, he scoffed, looking away from you but failing to hide the reddening of his ears, “shut up, I just didn’t feel like sitting with a stranger.” 

You huffed in amusement, “did you take a nap?” 

Chan shook his head, “nah, just finished a conference call.” 

Your eyes widened, “wait, why didn’t you tell me? I was doing nothing this whole time—“ 

Chan shook his head in dismissal, “you were tired. I told you, this is your rest time, I’m not allowed to touch it.” 

You frowned, your mind racing with thoughts on how tomorrow could possibly go, looking at the carpet with a hint of a pout on your face, “yeah, and then tomorrow, everything goes back to normal.” 

Chan inhaled deeply, leaning back in his seat as he turned his head to look at you, his hands clasped and resting on his lap. 

“It doesn’t have to, you know… like…” he shrugged, “if you don’t want it to.” 

Your lips parted, unsure how to respond to the implications of his words, unsure how to even process his words. 

“It’d be… unprofessional for me to continue to act like… this towards my boss.” 

Chan raised an eyebrow at you, shrugging, looking at you with an unreadable expression. 

“I think I’m way past being professional already when it comes to you.” 

You’d sworn the air had felt thicker, something about the way the night mood had felt, or how the music in the lounge had succeeded in relaxing you, but something inside of you was telling you to just do it, to lean forward and kiss him. And probably promptly resign the next day out of embarrassment. 

You stood up quickly, “oh, I think my cab’s here, I have to go,” you lied blatantly, Chan not making any move to stop you, simply lifting a hand to wave you off with a tired smile on his face. 

“Go, go. See you at work tomorrow.” 

===

“Can’t we ask Y/N to ask him?” The secretaries and interns were currently huddled in the pantry, having gathered to discuss how great it would be to have a field day soon.

“But Y/N’s equally as scary as him!” One of the interns spoke up, making the secretaries hum thoughtfully. 

You’d stepped into the pantry, walking through the secretaries to retrieve a juice packet for Chan. 

“Hey, what’s up?” You asked, one of the secretaries turning to you with a resolute look on her face. 

“Y/N, do you think you could um… like, you know, ask President Bang if we could arrange for a team outing soon? Like a field day or something, just as a break for the staff. We haven’t had one in so long!” 

You tilted your head at them in amusement, “why don’t you guys just ask him? He’s in his office now, I can go tell him you guys wan—“ 

“No, no! It’s different, you’re the only one that can convince him. We tried last month but he’d just told us he’d think about it.” 

You shrugged, nodding, “alright, sure. I’ll go and ask him.” 

Making your way back to his office, you’d tried to ignore your nerves as you knocked on the door, opening it to reveal Chan who was on the phone, holding up a finger to you to signal you to wait. 

Walking over to him, you’d placed the juice packet on his desk in front of him, earning a smile and a grateful nod from him, before he’d switched back to a serious expression. 

“No, yes, of course. We would want nothing more than to ensure a… mutually beneficial agreement between our companies.” 

You didn’t have to ask to know who he was talking to. Chan had been trying to negotiate a deal with one of the shareholders, since they had been trying to propose to get Chan to merge with another prominent electronics company in the industry. 

You knew Chan was more than annoyed, but he had no choice but to be civil with the president of the company since they did have many shares in the company from the time his uncle was in charge. 

“Yes, we can discuss this more in person over lunch, how does that sound? Yep. Alright, bye.” Chan sighed, setting the phone down and leaning his palms on the table, supporting himself with a pained look on his face, looking up at you with a pout. 

“I really don’t like him.” 

Chan sighed, “same here.” 

“Anyway, I’m glad you came here, I kind of wanted to talk to you about something.” 

“What?” You asked, watching as he’d fiddled with the papers on his desk. 

“Uh… I won’t ask you to handle things outside of work for me anymore.” 

Your eyes widened, “is this because of what my friends said? Because I’m honestly fine it doesn’t matter,” you shook your head, seeing him scrunch his nose. 

“It may not matter to you but I’m personally not fine with it,” he pressed his lips together. “Really, I mean it. Whatever I ask you to help me with from here on is only gonna be work-related.” 

You nodded. Was he trying to distance himself from me? Was it because of the trip? 

Your lips pulled into a frown, nodding more to yourself than to him, “okay…uh anyway I wanted to ask you um… the secretaries were wondering if we could have like a field day or something soon? Like just as a small break for the staff?” 

Chan shot you a look, knowing they’d asked you to ask him. 

“Do you want that?” He asked, earning a nod from you. 

“Yeah, I guess. It’d be fun to just have a day for staff bonding and all…” 

Chan shrugged, “alright, tell them to go ahead and arrange it.” 

Your eyes widened, finding the exchange to have went a lot more smoother than expected. 

“Will you be needing me for anything else?” 

He looked at you as if in thought, taking his lower lip between his teeth and letting it go, shaking his head, “other than to help me book an appointment with President Kim, nothing else.” 

You nodded slowly, exiting the room. 

By only asking you for work-related things, you’d expected your work-load to decrease, but it seemed as though you were currently having the most uneventful day you’d ever had. Other than drafting proposals for the President of the electronics company, there wasn’t much on your plate. 

You’d figured you would’ve been a lot busier tending to Chan’s requests but the boy had barely come out of his office, the only times he did being to head to the washroom, barely casting a glance in your direction when he walked past you. 

As if that wasn’t strange enough, he’d even let you have a longer lunch break, much to Seungmin’s amusement. 

“Doesn’t being in the legal team sound a lot more enticing now? At least you’d be doing something there.” 

You rolled your eyes, “I still have quite a bit of research to do, so no thank you.” 

“Admit it, you’re only staying because you can’t bear to leave Chan.” 

You’d almost choked on your drink, patting your chest to regain your composure, “where the hell did you get that idea from?” 

Seungmin scoffed, “you act like you didn’t call me a thousand times during the trip to tell me about things he did.” 

You’d fallen silent at that, averting your gaze. 

“Whatever,” you scoffed. 

“Isn’t it misconduct, though? If I were to date him.” 

Seungmin shook his head with an amused snort leaving him, “what are we in, the stone ages? Go wild, literally nobody cares. They’ll probably be happy if you manage to get him to be less of a hard-ass,” Seungmin told you, glancing into his cup to see how much drink he had left, “god knows when was the last time he got laid.” 

You flushed, shoving Seungmin, “how can you say that?” 

“What? It’s true!” 

You gave him a dismayed glare, standing up with a sigh as you straightened out your skirt, glancing at the time on your phone. 

“I should probably be heading back now, I’ve got work to do,” you gave Seungmin a pointed look, pulling him up from the bench. 

“I don’t wanna go back to work,” Seungmin let out a loud strangled sound of protest, his shoes stomping on the wooden panelled floor of the rooftop. 

You giggled, a teasing smile on your face, “weren’t you the one saying the legal team was what again? Enticing?” 

Seungmin pouted, pressing the elevator button, abruptly flailing his limbs in a mini outburst before straightening up and composing himself. 

“Fine, I’m fine. Enjoy your stupid office romance with Chan.” 

You rolled your eyes. 

Chan had a consultation with the legal team later that afternoon regarding the issue with the shareholder, and you’d been all-too-distracted during the meeting as you thought about what your possible ‘action-plan’ regarding your situation with Chan was. 

Taking down notes during the meeting, you’d let your train of thought wander, almost doodling onto your notebook, with one hand supporting your head on the table before you heard the legal advisor from the shareholder’s side speak up, a guttural groan leaving him. 

Looking up with an annoyed furrow of your eyebrows, you heard him lean back in his chair, “what does a man need to do to get a drink around here?” 

“You,” the man pointed a finger at you, “go and make yourself useful, sweetheart. Get me a cup of coffee.” 

Chan’s eyebrows knit into a frown, looking at the legal consultant with clear disdain on his face, looking at you to gauge your reaction. Already expecting you to do what you always did, get up with a smile and come back with the man’s coffee, Chan figured he was too annoyed by it to let you do just that. 

About to speak up to the man, you'd shocked Chan when you narrowed your eyes at him, giving him a sweet smile, "sorry, that's not my job here. Since you're not contributing much to the discussion, why don't you make your legs useful and head right over there and get yourself some water." 

You huffed, staring him down as he glared at you, directing his gaze to Chan. "Are you just gonna let her talk to me like that? I'd fire such a rude brat if I were you. Who's your supervisor, I'm gonna make sure he hears of this." 

Chan did his best to conceal his smile, simply turning his chair ever so slightly to give you a small smile, "that would be me, and I heard it loud and clear. Now, shall we continue with the meeting?" 

=== 

You’d been spending hours at your desk, distractedly doing research as you’d kept trying to peep into Chan’s office to figure out what he was doing, to no avail. (Chan had put the blinds down halfway through the day since he couldn’t stop staring outside at your desk either). 

You were technically done with your work, and Chan did mention that you were free to go home once you were done. On any other occasion this would have been considered a miracle, and you wouldn’t have hesitated to go home. But now, there was a nagging feeling in your heart that you couldn’t just leave him here, especially with how stressed out he was because of the business with the shareholder. You didn’t trust him not to spend the whole night here. 

Glancing at the time, you saw that it was already past 10, deciding that you would give him some time to make an appearance before you left, just to make sure he was alive and breathing inside his office. 

Distracting yourself with replying emails, even playing more than a few rounds of a word-search game on your phone, you figured he would’ve come out by now, but there was still not a sound coming from inside the room. 

Once the clock had almost struck 11, you figured you’d might as well go in and check on him for yourself. Going over to the pantry to make a hot drink, you’d walked back to his office, your grip tight on the saucer in your anxiousness. 

Inhaling deeply and breathing out with a resolute nod, you knocked on the door of his office, waiting a while only to be met with silence. 

Pushing open the door slightly, you’d tried again. 

“Mr Bang, is it okay if I come in?”

Upon receiving no response yet again, you’d pushed open the door fully, your eyes widening in realisation when you saw him seated at his desk, fast asleep on the chair. 

Walking over to the leather sofa as quietly as you could, you’d picked up the blanket from the sofa, making your way over to where he was, setting the hot drink onto his desk and making to drape the blanket over him. 

Only when you were adjusting the blanket did he stir awake, making your fight-or-flight instincts kick in, strangely embarrassed if he were to catch you doing such a gesture for him. 

Blinking slowly, his eyebrows furrowed before his gaze had landed on you. 

“I thought you’d gone home already?” He pouted, making you fumble to find an excuse why you’d stayed behind. 

“Sorry, Mr Bang, I was—”

He gave you a lazy smile, shaking his head, “none of that ‘Mr Bang’, nonsense. How come you haven’t left yet?” 

You pressed your lips together firmly, pulling your hands away from the blanket as you tried to straighten up, sighing softly. 

“I couldn’t leave… for some reason. I kind of wanted to make sure you were okay, since I barely saw you the whole day.” 

Chan’s satisfied smile had grew, nodding at you as if prompting you to continue. 

“but I’ll go soon. I guess,” you blurted, “unless like you know, you need me for something, then I’m fine with staying.” You stopped yourself, nodding before you could embarrass yourself any further. 

You couldn’t help but let your breath hitch when he’d reached out to grab your hand. 

“Thank you, for checking up on me,” he murmured, his close proximity making your gaze dart to his lips, averting your gaze quickly. 

“Did you not come out of your office on purpose?” You narrowed your eyes at him, hating the way your heart was doing flips at the way he grinned, his dimples showing cutely. 

You were about to pull back out of your own internal panic, but Chan’s grip on your hand was firm. 

“I’m sorry, I know I said I wouldn’t ask you for anything that wasn’t work related from now on. But It’s killing me, because you were sitting outside the whole day and I couldn’t do anything about it…” he paused, tilting his head as he searched your expression. 

“You can refuse, but I just need you to do one little thing for me,” he murmured,  pulling you forward so you’d ended up seated on his lap, your arms going out to grasp his shoulders to steady yourself. 

“What do you need me to do?” You asked, your voice a mere murmur with how the tension was absolutely suffocating you, wanting nothing more than to just close the gap between the both of you. 

Chan’s hand went up to your chin, running his thumb over your lower lip as they unconsciously parted, “close your eyes.” 

Chan couldn’t help but smirk at the way you’d done so obediently, his hand going to where your neck met your jaw, leaning closer to press his lips against yours. 

Almost as if it was second nature, he’d let his other hand grasp your hip, his thumb rubbing the area soothingly. Tilting his head to kiss you deeper, you’d practically sighed into the kiss, your hands wrapping around his neck loosely as you felt him smile into the kiss. 

“I’m glad it’s you,” he murmured against your lips, his tongue swiping against your lower lip making you let out a surprised hum, not being able to help your smile as well. 

“We should stop,” you pulled away, breathless. 

“Why?” 

You shook your head, “I could kiss you for hours. It’s already so close to midnight.” 

Chan glanced at the clock apathetically, looking at you and shrugging, his hand running up and down your side. 

“So be it, then,” he said, pulling you back to meet his lips. 

===

“Is it just me, or has President Bang been a lot less moody these days,” Seungmin heard one of his colleagues in the legal team asking her desk-mate, making her colleague nod gravely. 

The mention of President Bang had him glancing towards his office, spotting your desk empty and figuring you were inside his office. 

“Definitely. At first I thought it was just me, but he’s been a lot less harsh to Y/N as well,” she agreed. 

“Don’t you think so, Seungmin?” 

And almost as if on cue, you’d exited his office, pulling your hair out of your ponytail to readjust it, looking around as if scanning the area to see if anyone had seen you. 

Locking eyes with Seungmin, you shot him a wink, straightening out your blouse as you’d gone back to sit down at your desk. 

Seungmin scoffed, not being able to help the smile on his face as he rolled his eyes, “yeah, I think I know why.” 

[my-writings-and-musings]

I came up with lil idea, not intented to be a request but up to you what you do with this

So, human is getting miserable, sluggish and tired. Bots ask human why, they're not sure, Rung doesn't give an answer because patient confidelity. Whirl asks if he can kill someone. Magnus says maybe. But Swerve, the lil dude, comes up with an answer. He figures it's because of the metallic nature of the ship and the human just misses nature. So they gather a group of the humans friends to help with a project, and Swerve and Ten are the "bosses". Swerve shows them what Earths nature looks like, and multiple bots lend their talents to transform two unused habsuits into thing gigantic, realistic looking forest. Some bots bend metals to create trees and Ten paints them. Percy comes up with a way to create a small weather system that creates mist and rain and stuff like that. Multiple bots make tiny, or as tiny as they can make them, animal sculptures, and again Ten paints them. Brainstorm makes the ceiling look real. It works on human time and basically there's sunset and sunrise, along with a starry sky of the milkyway. Rewind collects animal and nature sounds from the nature documents Swerve has, and now theres a stereo in the rooms that quietly play said noises. Theres just an incredible amount of detail that goes into these rooms, with a vent/tunnel that connects them. In the end it's just an exact replica of a forest you'd see on Earth. Hours upon hours were poured into these rooms, multiple bots spent a good amount of their free time in the making of these rooms for the sake of their human friend. And it pays off. The human cries from happiness. They start to become themselve again and frequently spent their free time in the room.

That's it that's the idea

That idea is BEAUTIFUL.

Rung wants to offer assistance, but therapy isn't quite enough, and he's only one bot. Whirl assumes someone must be bothering his favorite squishy, and even if that's not the case, he believes that knowing you have a buddy who'd kill for you is always helpful. It makes him feel better, anyway... Magnus considers allowing some extreme measures as it becomes clear their beloved human is indeed suffering. They're tired, glum, reclusive, and just not themselves! It doesn't take a medic to figure out this can't be good for them.

Swerve, being a sharp bot with an excellent understanding of earth, is indeed the one who puts all the pieces together. The ship wasn't built with human biology in mind, and that's having some severe consequences, both for their physical and mental wellbeing. Some rapid fire research helps him craft a genius solution, but he knows he'll need help, so he gathers a massive team in the bar. Saying it's for the human gets the entire crowd to show without delay.

Before a packed bar, Swerve lays out the situation. Humans need their environment to be a certain way, he explains, and the ship just isn't meeting those needs. Undoubtedly this is what's causing the human to feel so unwell. When some bots aren't quite convinced he has Ten hold him up so he can speak with authority, and the medics concur it's a reasonable theory, though Swerve still requests Ten hold him up because he likes to be tall. Also because it makes proposing his solution much easier when everyone can see him.

An impressive plan is detailed by charts, PowerPoint presentations, drawings, schematics along with Swerve and Ten detailing the specifics as they go. The plan is simple but impressive; make some small part of the ship feel like home. Two unused habsuites would be ideal, and while they've planned it all out, they're going to need help. In fact, they're going to need as many helpers as possible. Rodimus doesn't hesitate to put his full support behind the plan, and encourages everyone to offer what skills they can. Ultra Magnus immediately sets about recruiting and assigning tasks with the admittedly solid plan Swerve has laid out. Every bot wants to contribute something. There's over two hundred volunteers, and soon they're all working together, keeping it a secret from the human so they'll be surprised. Drift finances the massive load of supplies that they need to get started.

As sneakily as they can, the bots work in shifts to follow the blueprints, with Swerve acting as the expert on all things Earth and Ten backing him up. The initial construction is the easy part; it's everything after that's difficult. When "renting" earth animals proves too difficult and Magnus forbids cloning more, they decide that art will do the trick, and thankfully they have lots of material to work with and ample artists to make it work. Metal is bent and soldered into the shape of earth's flora and fauna, with the artistically gifted Ten bringing it to life through his excellent painting skills.

On the scientific front, the laboratory goes a little wild creating ways to capture the "essence" of life on Earth, with Perceptor inventing a simple but elegant device to mimic the planet's atmospheric phenomena. Mist, rain, humidity, aridity, even the scent of ozone... It's all in there, and it even has a handy remote! Quite proudly, he points out that the entire room will even recycle it's own water supply, just like earth does. Not to be outdone (and to show off) Brainstorm sets about reformatting the entire ceiling. For him, it's not enough that the room can mimic the climate of the planet, it needs to look like it too. Though tempted to go all out with extreme weather modes, he settles for a ceiling that produces a realistic sky just like the one on Earth. It can be sunny, cloudy, starry, and even follow a set schedule!

But of course, as a very smart minicon points out, Earth is not a silent planet! Rewind puts his talent to use gathering the sounds of animals and plants and weather patterns, all of which he mixes into a sound program of unfathomable complexity to give the room a thriving ambience. Whether it's birdsong or a gentle rain, the human will long for the sound of their home no longer. Or at least he hopes as much.

In total there's no way to know how many hours were poured into the project, but the result is well worth it. There's a grand gathering when the human is brought to see the finished effort, and for a moment, no bot dares blink at the suspense. Everyone can only hope it works...

It does, to a degree they never could have anticipated. Their long suffering friend breaks out into happy tears, in part because of the planet they so long for, but mostly due to the incredible effort that's been put in on their behalf. Everyone worked on this in some capacity, there's not a single member of the ship that didn't contribute, and it was all for their beloved human. More than a few bots cry as well. So much hugging happens that they lose track of it all. The human camps out in the room that night with a lot of bots for company, and they actually have to keep track of who does so to ensure everyone who wants to gets a turn. Some find they like hanging out in the room so much the list of bots who want to see Earth magnifies exponentially. They all promise to the human they'll go together someday. But, for now, everyone is content to relax in their little slice of the humans home.

[snekdood]

@mozart-ella-sticks​

hi i dont really care if you’re hindu lmao, i’ve been becoming hindu for years now and i’ve been learning all about it so you can’t just subdue me by saying that you’re hindu therefore i have nothing to contribute, like idc im not gonna stop saying my shit

and because i’m willing to be in good faith about this question and am willing to learn more, if you’re a hindu and hinduism is patriarchal... why are you a hindu? also, aside from male gods typically being seen as “the seed of life” essentially, what is so patriarchal about it, esp if you have a god like ardharanishvara that seems to me to embody equality, sameness and lack of division, or mahadevi, whom as you know, is considered the creator god in shaktism? because from what i’ve seen it seems there’s!!! so many thouuusands of beliefs in hinduism, so many different philosophies and so many different beliefs on who the great creator god is, so i’m not sure how you can label it as a whole as patriarchal, nor why you would continue to be hindu if you do believe that. I don’t doubt that there are hindu’s who do believe fucked up bs about women, i think i've read enough to know that, unfortunately a lot of religions get taken over and used for shitty purposes, but i’d also argue, based on what i’ve read, that shit wasn’t As bad until india got colonized, considering ppl could be gay, trans (fight me, i’ll die on this hill), and have orgies and polyamorous relationships n shit before then. since i grew up christian, i notice plenty of the christian values laced in hinduism, things i've fought against for years only to find gods i worship having conflicting narratives on what activities they get up to and what they think is right or wrong, and while i know theres many different retellings and narratives, i can't help but get a knot in my stomach when i feel the vibes of christianity. and if everything i've learned isn't enough, something inside tells me that's not how things have always been.

anyhoo, in regards to "indian radfems"-- i don’t believe you, that's not my point and also doesn't prove my point wrong necessarily if it were true? you're gonna hafta show me how being a radfem, or something adjacent, was in india before it was colonized tbqh lmao. i believe radfems run on an under layer of subtle christianity i've been calling "social christianity" which essentially means they hold a lot of the same conservative beliefs without the religious belief in god (sometimes..), weird restrictive beliefs surrounding having sex, weird divisive beliefs and desires vs men and women, and of course beliefs about gender and how any deviation or expression or identification aside from man and woman and the gender you were assigned at birth is bad for some reason, even though before it was fine in your religion!! but y’know, you don’t care about that ig, you’re a hindu who wants to uphold christian ideals that have destroyed and infected your religion, is how i feel. if women in india are mostly radfems, i feel bad that they’ve fallen for this trap. but I don’t really believe you.

also stfu about hijras before i rip you a new one. clearly you don’t know shit, you don’t interact with these people, hell, you’re probably the type of person to ask them to bless your home or some shit but then never give af about them or their wellbieng or anything. fuck off. you’re not the authority on this topic at all lmao, if you think being hindu is enough that’s funny. you’re funny. lmk about all the hijras you know and how much they love being called men, and it better be a list of at least 8 people. hijras are not all considered trans, but there are trans hijras and they in fact face worse discrimination, in many ways, in the hands of india, bc of ppl who only give a fuck about them bc of blessings or whatever, than other trans people do here in america.... but go auf kween

your proximity doesn’t mean shit if you don’t know shit. and no, i don’t think i will, i think i’ll die liberated and free, my good bitch 💖

[numbaoneflaya]

I got a lot for you, you don't have to answer all of these 💀. 2, 4, 8, 21, 35, and 50 for Jilly. 3, 7, 10, 41, and 64 for Valkya. And 6, 7, 14, 25, and 52 for Mike. And a large fry 😁

I FINALLY DID ITTTTTT IM SORRY FOR THE WAIT!! all under the cut bcs ofc its LONG

JILLY

2. What are their favourite possessions? Why? (sentimentality, history, price, etc)

-She has 2 stuffed ferrets shes had since she was little :) she calls them stinker and slinker and she loves them so much. Also a collection of friendship bracelets she pretty much makes matching ones for everyone she likes and wears them in rotation.

4. Are they a good gift-giver? What do they tend to give as gifts? -Jilly LOVES gift giving bcs she naturally hoards and steals shit and then ends up with too much shit, so what better to do with it than give to friends?? You're likely to get anything she can swipe that reminds her of u. Tries to vary it to suit whoever shes giving a gift to but her go to is something like stuffed animals and jewelry bcs thats what she likes best

8. What does their dream house look like?

-She would like an at home gym with giant climbable pillars and hoops and obstacles, or just a house with a lot of land and forest she can run around in. She's also way a fan of hidden passages and secret hiding places, anything she can snoop and weasel around in. No scary basement tho

21. What’s their ideal date like?

-Carnival or theme park! Anything with lots of action and noise and prizes. Shed want to play all the games for hours straight and go on all the biggest rides.

36. Do they trust easily? What would you have to do to earn their trust?

-Yes she trusts easily :/ mayhaps too easily. Her way of thinking is innocent until proven guilty and even then, it takes a looooot to make her start to doubt someone because she wants to believe everyone has good intentions. To earn her trust, being nice to her and other ppl is the easiest way, but she's also prone to trust you if you seem secure somehow or just in charge like a position of authority.

50. Why would they be a good partner for a road trip?

-Snacks. On demand. She packs every snack and drink you could ever hope for and stashes up on blankets and pillows too. The type to wanna play my spy and car games and to sing along really loudly to music. WILL stick her head out the window sometimes. Will want to stop at every roadside attraction. Just for fun the reason she might be a bad roadtrip partner is that she talks a lot. And will be loudly singing and sticking her head out the window. And after a while the car will start to smell vaguely of ferret and she might shed.

--------

VALKYA

3. Do they get jealous easily? If so, what usually causes it?

-Shes really not a jealous person at all, especially not romantically. Shes pretty chill in general. Even so, some times she gets jealous of all the time other people get to spend with Naryu. If Valkya feels like someone else is being prioritized over her shes more likely to act out like a baby ggdghdf

7. What’s their “type”? What romantically attracts them to another person?

-Women who could kill her and men who are pathetic, but shes open to anything. Has a thing for nerds, goths, vampires, werewolves, short people, assassins, and most importantly people who are easy to fluster. She will bone anything that moves

10. What’s a simple thing that brings them joy?

-Finishing a good book, especially a series. When shes not in life threatening danger or fucked up out of her mind shes a pretty avid reader. She likes having the free time to sit around a fireplace and snuggle up with a book, though she'll deny it if caught and say she doesnt know how to read hgfdgsd.

41. What would they dress up as for Halloween?

-Demetria 💀 shed just steal her clothes and stretch TF out of em gsdgdfhsd. Or dress up as herself bcs who needs originality when your famous?

64. Describe what their social media would be like.

- Random memes from the last century all mixed up, millions of selfies and nudes out of nowhere. Drunk posting at 4 am and getting into fights w Dem over dumb shit, subtweeting everyone to start drama. Has thousands of followers and does giveaways of shit she finds lying around her house for no reason but shes bored

-----------------

MIKE

6. Do they prefer to have a big social circle, or a few close friends?

-Shed prefer to have a few close friends as long as they ride or die. Most likely die tho. Shes desperate for frienship shell stalk someone to get to know them really well and then delude herself into thinking theyr besties. Sometimes it doesnt go well but she still gets a meal out of it even if shes sad

7. What’s their “type”? What romantically attracts them to another person?

-Someone who looks like they're up for fun! Really into alt fashion and people who seem like they dont give a shit. Confidence, fighters, rebels, anyone she can party hard with. Likes people who are interesting and is especially interested in befriending other killers, they have so much to bond about!

14. Who do they go to in a crisis/emergency? Any particular reason why they choose that person?

-Probably Zeke tbh. Since she turned him hes like the only other vamp besides prim she knows and hes always pretty level headed. Probably goes to him for advice on how to make friends and hes like “maybe dont break into ppls houses and drain their victims out of nowhere :/” and shes like “that was ONE TIME and it worked!!”

25. What are their dreams like?

-All chaotic! Theres seldom ever a storyline or anything, just bright colors and random things happening and an overlying sense of panic or dread. Like those images you look at to understand what having a stroke is like, everything is off color and melting and shes usually running away from something. Typically nightmares but about nothing in particular, just disconnected sounds shapes and figures.

52. What topic should nobody bring up around them, lest the other person be subject to a massive ramble/rant?

-ANYTHING to do with twilight. She knows everything about it. Has seen and read is 12 times over and can quote it directly at any time, do not attempt to argue twilight with her. Diehard team Edward forever. If your tied up and somehow the topic of it comes up just pray she kills you soon bcs she will go on for hours and bring out her annotated copies and force you to go through them with her.

[swifty-fox]

dude! more history rants, that was great!! I honestly probably learned more in that than I ever have in a history class

dude! Learning about history is SO much better when the person you’re listening to has a genuine passion for it! My Russian prof used to take his shoes off and bang on the table to prove his point, he would imitate historical figures down to the Russian accent (with great skill he lived in the USSR through the entire nineties which if you know anything about nineties Russia that is a FEAT. His wife to be at the time ((now a german history prof at my college)) was offered a ride in a helicopter by the Russian mob. She declined) 

Russian history is also just such a rich and dramatic and WILD history. Theres so many things to focus on like an entire semester was spent JUST studying the revolution and that was only an introductory course

Anyways since I’m here and can rant lets talk about two fun things! Lenins  name and his family as well as Vasily Grossmans greatest and most controversial works!

So Vladimir Lenin is a pretty iconic name. A pretty cool name in fact! Really rolls off the tongue and strikes FEAR into enemies hearts.

Did ya know it’s not his fuckin name? Nope! the guy straight up chose a new last name for himself! This former law student (oh yeah he wasn't even a politician no wonder the fucko didn't know how to run a country) was actually born Vladimir Ulyanov! 

but why the name change? Ulyanov is still pretty easy to say, still pretty memorable. Rolls of the tongue so on and so forth.

this, ladies, gentlemen, and everything in between and beyond, is because of Lenins older brother Aleksandr Ulyanov! 

(this guy has better hair than i could ever hope to, thanks diluted slav genes) 

now sweet Aleks here was also four years Vladimirs Senior and was also a revolutionary! (seems like it ran in the family) 

Not only was he a revolutionary but he was a MASSIVELY FAMOUS ONE and kinda helped set the ENTIRE downfall of the soviet union in motion long before the revolution was even a whisper of a thought. 

How you ask? well uh.

he tried to kill Tsar Nikolas II’s dad. 

yes, that Tsar Nikolas who later was overthrown and was executed by firing squad. Sorry the Romanovs are all very very dead we found all their bodies the animated movie was very wrong. 

Anyways, sweet kolya’s father was Tsar Alexander III and he was known throughout the land as the Peacemaker! 

(also yes they're both called Aleksandr. Russians only have like. Ten names to choose from)

wow sounds like he must be a great guy with a nickname like that huh? Why would anyone wanna kill him! Sadly, the nickname is only because Russia entered no wars under his rule. He was in fact, a huge bastard. Outside of being physically and emotionally abusive to his family (he would often berate Nikolai for being weak which definitely led to some of his issues with his authority and pride being questioned later on...) he was incredibly reactionary and heavy handed when it came to ruling. he opposed ANY movement that might minimize his authority as emperor. He was famous for executing a LOT of anti-imperialist terrorists.

he also looked like this

not to insult bulldogs but this guy sure looks like one. 

Anyways, Aleksandr Ulyanov helps devise a plot wherein he and a bunch of other revolutionaries will ride by Tsar Alek’s carriage and chuck a bomb through his window and then boom no more emperor. basically, it was the 1887 version of a drive by shooting. 

Naturally, it failed, otherwise we wouldn’t be talking about this! Anyways, All the conspirators were captured and sentenced to death. (5 were later pardoned none of which were Lenins brother.) They were all hanged.

Although Lenin was involved in politics before this to some degree, this action really radicalized him and really got the ball rolling for the eventual Soviet Union. Talk about butterfly effect. 

Alright time for history lesson part TWO!! Lets talk about Vasily Grossman and his work In The Town of Berdichev! Though more technically I will be talking more about the film adaptation titled Commissar(1967). 

quick background time! Vasily Grossman was born to a Jewish family and due to prosecution (of both Jewish people and Ukrainians) at the time was forced to conceal his heritage. He actually studied to be a chemist at first and was quite successful until he transitioned later in life to being a writer and reporter! His accounts of the Ukrainian famine are the some of the most detailed accounts as well as the most controversial (to the Russian state) he also was a war reporter for WWII and intensively documented the ethnic cleansing going on. Understandably.

he was strongly supported by Maksim Gorky! (yes that Maksim Gorky, famous writer, and the man who helped develop the entire soviet education system that kinda was just brainwashing and propaganda. Reportedly later in life he considered that to be one of his greatest regrets((he was also a massive homophobe too because same sex relationships were actually legal for a while there in russia!))

Long story short, Vasya believed strongly in several things. he believed in the human spirit, he believed in supporting his Jewish brethren, he believed strongly in mother Russia and the communist party. But more than that he believed that those who do not learn from our mistakes are doomed to repeat them. 

Thus came about his work. I’ll post a quick plot summary here from Wikipedia of the movie. it’s a really good film honestly I highly recommend it. 

“During the Russian Civil War (1918–1922), a female commissar of the Red Army cavalry Klavdia Vavilova (Nonna Mordyukova) finds herself pregnant. Until her child is born, she is forced to stay with the family of a poor Jewish blacksmith Yefim Magazannik (Rolan Bykov), his wife, mother-in-law, and six children. At first, both the Magazannik family and "Madame Vavilova", as they call her, are not enthusiastic about living under one roof, but soon they share their rationed food, make her civilian clothes, and help her with the delivery of her newborn son. Vavilova seemingly embraces motherhood, civilian life, and new friends.Meanwhile, the frontline advances closer to the town and the Jews expect a pogrom by the White Army as the Red Army retreats. Vavilova attempts to console them with a Communist dream: "One day people will work in peace and harmony", but the dream is interrupted with a vision of the fate of the Jews in the coming world war. She rushes to the front to rejoin her army regiment, leaving her newborn behind.“

- White army was the anti-soviet army during the revolution. Red Army was the soviets. Pogroms were targeted areas of ethnic cleansing against Jewish peoples, namely they were villages or towns that were wiped out. 

this film was banned for something like forty years for anti-soviet sentiment. But why? it seems pretty damn pro-soviet doesn't it? 

Well firstly lets talk about how oppressive the soviet regime was by this point! In 1967 Russia was in the dying throes of Stalins regime. Yes he had died a little over a decade earlier but the government was still very much being run by his ideals. All independent newspapers were banned. EVERYTHING every single piece of art, literature, news, commercial, WHATEVER, had to be state approved. And by god was it hard to get things approved. Grossman routinely wrote of his frustrations and struggles of getting anything published because if a Russain character was portrayed as anything but a happy go lucky communist then it would be censored. Grossman first ran into this issue when he was reporting on the iron and coal mines in siberia. the conditions were terrible but Grossman had to lie and say everything was fine. It let to a real crisis of ideals for him.

The first red mark against this movie is that well, it focuses on a woman. It’s an incredibly feminist movie, with the idea of motherhood and duty and the strength of a woman being just as much if not more than a man. (for reference a Commissar is like an army Officer) 

Secondly, she abandons her post! to have a child! In communist Russia NOTHING comes before your duty to the motherland. But again she eventually realizes that the call of her country is stronger than the call of this simple maternal life and she does go on to fight so why is this a problem?

Well ultimately, it boils down to the final scene. 

"One day people will work in peace and harmony" she says. An entirely pro-soviet message. But then it is instantly contradicted by footage of the holocaust. This is a visual representation fo Grossman saying that although the communist ideal is strong in the soviet union that they are being blinded by false enemies, prejudices and will find themselves committing such atrocities (of course they already are but again he DID still support the Soviet State) Basically it was a warning to the Soviet Party! Learn from the mistakes that were made and gentle themselves!

And this, this was a criticism of the Soviet party! And thus, it was shelved for nearly twenty years.

It finally was shown again in the late 80′s  

Grossman, after attempting to publish his magnum opus, Life and Fate, had his flat raided by the KGB and all his notes, manuscripts, letters, books, publications, and pretty much his life's work were confiscated. Grossman died in the mid 1960′s of stomach cancer not knowing if any of his writings or best works would ever be seen or published again. 

Thankfully they were found and published and his massively important legacy lives on in the people who know about him. But his story is a very bittersweet one indeed. 

you can watch the full movie here with English captions! 

(tw: imagery of holocaust, some anti-semitism (if i recall) some children without any clothes bathing if i recall (its not weird but I know it was shocking for me to see at first))

(maybe I’ll talk about the TRUE story of Rasputin another time...) 

[maine-writes]

After working as a manager for a while, let me lay down some probably horrible, but still useful, advice.

If you are overqualified, make that blatantly obvious. Be a bit of an asshole about it. If you're making less than what you deserve, dont do more than what you're paid for. At least, not frequently.

Show you can do a lot more, more than what someone in your position can, but just choose not to. Make it obvious that you're choosing not to. Higher ups would love nothing more than to throw more responsibility (i.e. do multiple jobs) on you for no pay raise. If you lack the specific skill or knowledge however, totally accept it, just remember that at some point, you should ask for a pay raise if you can argue it.

Always ask for a pay raise when you can argue it. Talk about it. Although we normally dont put too much weight on seniority, we do connect it to the fact that you may be more familiar with a business's values and procedures than new people. Emphasize your skillset. Then give a high number. Your manager will either negotiate with you or payroll, depending on your exact relationship and the structure of the business. Whenever I had an employee ask about a pay raise, I'd ask for them to give me a simple arguement and a number. If it seemed low, I'd tell them, knowing what payroll would be willing to agree to.

Eventually, you will have accumulated enough skills and experience to justify a higher position and a salary. What this pretty much means is that you are such an important asset with such a diverse skillset, they'd better give you a good reason not to take your expertise elsewhere.

What managers never want to openly admit is that not everyone is entirely replaceable. More often than not, losing a really good employee will lead to a string of less-than-ideal replacements. I've had my fair share of terrible replacements.

Ideally, managers would have built a quality team and that they spend their day playing the authority role to those who ask for it, answering emails from the often nosy higher ups, and putting out fires.

A good manager understands that along with their leadership responsibilities (They must always have your back, protecting you from the big boss, angry customers, and negative coworkers), they are also the "In Case of Shit Hitting Fan, Break Glass" asset.

You are free to argue that you deserve more than what you make, you just need to make a good argument. If its justified, your manager will work with you, you are an asset they'd rather not lose. But if a higher up doesnt give it to you, and you, your manager, and anyone with any sense know you deserve more, leave. Their loss.

And one last piece of advice. 3 years is the longest you should stay in a job unless there is exceptionally open upward mobility. After the 3rd or 4th year, the higher ups will begin to try and keep you in a position, theres only so far you can go.

At that point, start looking for another job. If you are any good, people will recognize that.

[seventeendeer]

Bro give us the deets on the (sadly limited) female characters!! Tbh i can only remember like two that aren't amy, which are Rouge and Cream....i know theres more tho!!

this. this question. this is the ideal question. obviously I love 99% of the major Sonic characters, but the female part of the cast is VERY special to me and I CANNOT thank you enough for giving me an opportunity to talk about them, because they are wildly under-appreciated and seem to go mostly unnoticed outside of the fandom, which is a crime

and yes! it is true that there aren’t many female characters in the central, recurring cast, HOWEVER! there is actually a very decently-sized amount of female characters who are key characters in the plots of various games, and many that only show up for one story and then leave for a variety of reasons (just to torture me, I think, because a lot of them are some of my absolute favorite characters).

so, a warning to anyone reading this: if you’re looking to get into Sonic, please be warned that many of these character descriptions come with major spoilers!

and without further ado, a little presentation on a handful of the many oft-ignored female Sonic characters:

Amy Rose the Hedgehog:one of the series’ central characters. she’s unfortunately often mostly characterized by being obsessed with Sonic, but she’s actually a really fun character outside of that - she’s a fierce fighter, a brave hero, and aggressively idealistic. she believes in people’s ability to be good and is determined to make others live up to their true potential. she has super strength and super speed, and is occasionally shown to have magical powers, mainly clairvoyance.

Cream the Rabbit:Amy’s sister figure and close friend. at only six years old, she’s the baby of the group and quite sensitive. she hates fighting, but still stays by her friends’ sides and has helped them save the world many times. she has the ability to fly and is sometimes cast as a healer character with the ability to magically bring good luck and health to those who need it.

Rouge the Bat:a master thief who was hired as a government agent when the authorities realized there was nothing they could do to stop her criminal behavior. she tends to follow her own agenda and likes to pretend she has no morals, but deep down, she’s a caring person who will do the right thing when push comes to shove. she has super speed while in flight, as well as super strength. she’s also extremely tech-savvy and uses a lot of gadgets in battle.

Blaze the Cat:the princess of a parallel dimension who guards the magical sol emeralds. she was originally born 200 years into the future, but due to time being rewritten, she was separated from her best friend and gained a new past, where she grew up lonely and ostracized despite her status. her aloof attitude hides an emotionally broken person who more than anything needs a friend. she has super speed, as well as power over the element of fire.

Vanilla the Rabbit:Cream’s mother, who unfortunately isn’t seen in the series very often. she’s a kind and devoted single mother, who serves as a surrogate parent for the many orphans in the series. she also currently looks after an ancient war robot that has turned over a new leaf, so she’s presumably got her hands full somewhere off-screen.

Tikal the Echidna:the spirit of a teenage girl who sacrificed her mortal life 4000 years ago in order to magically contain an enraged god of nature and balance. these days, the god’s anger has been quelled and her spirit lives with it in harmony. she was originally the daughter of a chief of a Mayan-like civilization, the same one that Knuckles is descended from. she believes in peace and has a great amount of respect and appreciation for nature.

Shade the Echidna:another echidna who lived around the same time as Tikal. her tribe was stolen away by an unknown force and trapped inside a pocket dimension where time stood still for 4000 years. recently, Shade escaped. despite her young age, she was the most powerful fighter among her people, as well as the highest-ranking member of their military. she’s a ruthless tactician and fighter, but she’s also noble at heart. she’s got super strength, and uses her people’s futuristic technology in battle.

Maria Robotnik:a chronically ill human child who lived on a space station 50 years ago with her scientist grandfather and his research team. because of her illness, she couldn’t survive down on Earth, so she spent her life dreaming of the day when her grandfather would find a cure for her illness so she could be free. when the military raided the space station in order to destroy her grandfather’s work, she sacrificed her life so that her best friend could escape to Earth, even though she dearly wanted to be there with him.

Wave the Swallow:a young genius and engineer, who descended from a civilization of technologically advanced aliens that crash-landed on Earth in ancient times and used their tech to become master thieves. she prides herself on her intelligence and is something of a snob. however, she’s more of a schoolyard bully than a villain, and while she’s happy to rob people blind and cheat to win, there are still lines she won’t cross. she uses her knowledge of her people’s ancient technology to create hoverboards that her gang cruise around on.

Marine the Raccoon:I never played the game Marine was in, but as far as I’m aware, she’s a loud, excitable kid who makes friends with Blaze and plays a key role in the plot. I’m going to have to play her game eventually, but until then, if you’re curious, you can always look her up on the wiki!

Cosmo:a character from a spin-off series that I’m including here anyway because she’s one of my favorite characters in the franchise. she was an eight-year-old kid who was the sole survivor of a race of plant aliens, and watching her family be killed left her heavily traumatized and filled with both survivor’s guilt and determination to get revenge on those who destroyed her childhood. with the help of the main cast, she slowly got better and formed new bonds. in the end, she sacrificed her life in order to save her new friends and destroy her enemies once and for all.

Sticks the Badger:another character from a spin-off, who seems to have been more or less adopted into the main universe. a borderline feral child who grew up in the wild by herself. as a result, she doesn’t fit into society well and tends to be aggressive and paranoid. once she decides she trusts someone, though, she proves to be a sweet and supportive friend, with a happy-go-lucky “we might die tomorrow, so let’s have fun today” kind of attitude. she doesn’t seem to have any powers, but doesn’t let that stop her from being excellent in battle by force of will alone.

and here’s where I’m gonna stop listing characters, because I could keep going on forever. these are the ones that I think are the most central/interesting female characters, though there are definitely more out there (you’ve probably seen me mention Elise, for example, but she’s more fun because of her wonky character writing than her actual story, so I left her out). anyway, thank you for an excellent question!! bless you for giving me an excuse to talk about all these under-appreciated gals

[chimcharstar]

1-100 TELL ME ALL

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

1. What is you middle name?

Jesse

2. How old are you?

22

3. When is your birthday?

dec 9

4. What is your zodiac sign?

sagittarius

5. What is your favorite color?

purples

6. What’s your lucky number?

9

7. Do you have any pets?

no

8. Where are you from?

bc canada. my great grandparents are from russia

9. How tall are you?

5 something

10. What shoe size are you?

7?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

3 that i actually use

12. What was your last dream about?

i dont remember my most recent one but i had a banger of a dream i described in another post

13. What talents do you have?

i think expressing myself, or music, i have some talent that needs discipline

14. Are you psychic in any way?

well i am a spiritual person, in a way. and growing up in a toxic drama filled family, i have Developed the Skill of guessing how people are feeling and what they are gonna do. and i analyze dreams. so not psychic but i am really interested and intuitive whats goin on in there

15. Favorite song?

for some reason https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oilVq8-F4_Q colours by roosevelt ive been obsessed with lately i just loop that shit. loop loop loop. blaringit into my ears and speedwalking down thestreet. the beat.!!!! i feel like I  took all the colours

16. Favorite movie?

spiderverse. i really enjoyed always be my maybe.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who doesnt make me feel like im Too Much

18. Do you want children?

not RIGHT NOW

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i have no idea actually. id want a special wedding definitely.

20. Are you religious?

yes, i honestly feel like i just come like this, i dont go by any books and i dont want to be associated with christians. if i be too religious i start getting the Bad Feelings

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

yes visiting sick relatives. and one in a psyche ward.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

i got a parking ticket

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

no. maybe i did and i had no idea who they were because id never heard of them

24. Baths or showers?

showers.

25. What color socks are you wearing?

alien socks that are green and black

26. Have you ever been famous?

no. what does that even mean !!!!

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

yes because money but noooooo. its hard when one person definitely doesnt like me. if im famous some people just wont like me and theres going to be more of them

28. What type of music do you like?

stuff with electric guitars in it. funk. bops. i cant get enough lately

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

no

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

one. and sometimes NONE. i dont fucking know why its just more comfortable. id lie down on a floor and pass out

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

i usually cant fall asleep unless im on my face with my arms tucked under me for warmpth and general log shape. after that though its chaos. dreamin

32. How big is your house?

BIG!!!!!! so many rooms. so many people. 

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

on a Functional day, cereal. not because its my favourite thing but it doesnt require a lot of attention and its easiest to tolerate. my appetite is just. like this

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

HELL no.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

in my child days i shot my hair elastics around and pretended i was fighting aliens. this is definitely archery.

36. Favorite clean word?

i dont really think about words like that. pizza is a nice word.

37. Favorite swear word?

bitch. its really fun to say.

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

not all that long. if i was up the entire night i am usually sleeping in midday no matter where i am. ive disappointed many teachers. its called not caring.

39. Do you have any scars?

yes, but theres no dramatic stories to them, just me not leaving scratches and bites alone as a kid. they look kind of cool though. and theyre so mysterious. youd think id have scars from self harm but no.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

i believe so...

41. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i am 100% like morally committed to lying.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

NO. my thought process is: its rude to assume someone is going to behave badly, and they will be offended and have hurt feelings if you anticipate that. i have to like. treat everyone with exactly the same respect unless theyre a dick. otherwise its being judgmental. and it ends up as naïveté. but im okay with that . the price of being a good person

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i could do a british one once i guess LOL and it looks like now ive Absorbed a mexican accent but i never really try to talk in other accents

44. Do you have a strong accent?

i dont know how to answer this

45. What is your favorite accent?

idk i like new things i havent heard before. and thinking about how other languages work. theres a lot of different accents at my work and i honestly enjoy listening to them

46. What is your personality type?

that.... INFJ. see. psychic

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

one of the gay jackets

48. Can you curl your tongue?

dont think so

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

50. Left or right handed?

left

51. Are you scared of spiders?

depends. i had these big house spiders in my dungeon at my parents house, and id just be “hi” and set them free. but if i see one where im not expecting it i might yell a lot and tell everyone and run around and then set it free

52. Favorite food?

tacos from my old work. i was indeed. screaming, lost in the sauce. i waited until i was away from the restaurant because i knew all my dignity would vanish

53. Favorite foreign food?

idk... i need to eat more curry. i need more curryin my life. bring it on.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

clean

55. Most used phrased?

“this slaps” i feel like ive been saying that a lot

56. Most used word?

I

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

a whole entire fucking hour (when i wake up) otherwise 5min

58. Do you have much of an ego?

i do, but i hide it. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

chomp chomp. i am not a patient man.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

yes, when i know no ones around, or when im not worried about seeming like a crazy person at work

61. Do you sing to yourself?

nah

62. Are you a good singer?

no. i can sing and it sound okay.  nice even. but good??? like beautiful?????? no.

63. Biggest Fear?

someone dying, natural disaster, new illness

64. Are you a gossip?

maybe. i feel like i have the Tendencies and then im like “am i being a bad person right now”. i want to know the deets though.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

i Simply Dont Have the Attention for Those

66. Do you like long or short hair?

BOTH . long hair is more fun to draw. short hair is hot

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

fuck no. why would i. fuck off. i dont care about your states.

68. Favorite school subject?

ART ART AR T

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

introerverte

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

no

71. What makes you nervous?

people who are not Definitely Cheerful

72. Are you scared of the dark?

no. unless i think about things to scare myself on purpose

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

no unless they need to know. because im not a fucking ANIMAL

74. Are you ticklish?

depends. i can be not ticklish if im determined.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

i dont think so... i started a rumor i was from mars

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

maybe i was supposed to train some girls and then i probably didnt do a great job and they didnt listen. they say my job now is somewhat authority and im like...... ok...... 

77. Have you ever drank underage?

no

78. Have you ever done drugs?

no

79. Who was your first real crush?

someone whos OUTTA MY LIFE

80. How many piercings do you have?

two? i got them pierecd at claires lmao and i didnt get an infection because im  so salty. then i took them out because they were from claries

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

hell yes

82. How fast can you type?

so fucking fast. faster than my work finder helper. im fast im very fast

83. How fast can you run?

IM VERY FAST

84. What color is your hair?

orange

85. What color is your eyes?

green

86. What are you allergic to?

im still trying to figure that out. whatever it is gives me hives

87. Do you keep a journal?

yes. so i can get better at handwriting and just talking in general and hear what my voice sounds like. and to have a space away from other peoples needs and pressures

88. What do your parents do?

my mom is a stay at home mom and my dad shoots pop bottles into the sky

89. Do you like your age?

sure

90. What makes you angry?

everything. cabbage. i swore about cabbage for a long time the other day. i am just full of anger. 

91. Do you like your own name?

YES. i mean i chose it i better. honestly my first name ......... i feel self conscious about it sometimes. i think it was the only name for me though. it wasnt the ideal most wonderful namei could find because those didnt fit, it was MY name.

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

im going to have two sons and im naming them brick and rusty.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

yeah, i want a boy a girl

94. What are you strengths?

my strengths doing all 100 questions, this is serious muscles

95. What are your weaknesses?

the exhaustion of jumping from one question to the next especially when they are vague. im not complaining this was my idea

96. How did you get your name?

i pfound it in the baby name book and i was lie  “hey yyy, i saw that name in black beauty, lets use it for my gay coded villain what the hell!”

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

no but i did have some ancestors who lives i a mansions andhad fucking SERVANTS. before you call me problematic my other part of family was like sewing things and not going to school 

98. Do you have any scars?

weve been over this. when im older im going to get a cool scar fighting a dragon

99. Color of your bedspread?

pink, white, blue

100. Color of your room?

white

[lurkingcrow]

Could I request from the mash up “accidentally saving the day” and Baby Fic (can absolutely be accidental baby acquisition if you want) and Obi-Wan/Satine, please?

You know what? My very strange brain took one look at these and went:

"Why not both?"

It's the middle of the Clone Wars and some badguy (I'd suspect Maul but this is far too indirect for his liking - it's probably either that mad scientist whatever his name is Evalo? or one of Dooku's generic minions) decides that the best way to defeat the Jedi is to take out General Kenobi.

Of course, he's rather hard to kill these days, which is why great effort is taken to find a method of time travel which would allow him to be taken out before he becomes a Jedi.

As it happens the point at which the device is ready coincides with one of Obi-Wan's trips to Mandalore, and he and Satine are in the middle of their typical verbal sparring when a madman comes running through and shoots some strange device at the General, rendering him immobile as a portal forms behind him which the intruder promptly jumps through.

Cody of course is seconds after him, having worked out instantly that this can NOT be a good thing. What is surprising is that, as he stumbles through the other side of the portal, Satine Kryze is right behind him.

He doesn't have the time to draw breath and ask what exactly she's thinking before the portal closes behind them, rendering them alone.

The fact that they are in the past soon becomes apparent, as is their need to co-operate and find their enemy before he does something catastrophic.

It's not smooth sailing. For all that he has absolute respect for authority, Cody is a soldier and Satine a pacifist. She is not his commanding officer and quite frankly he doesn't trust her decisions, particularly when the safety of his Jedi is on the line.

Satine meanwhile is very much out of her depth. She hadn't stopped to think before running after Obi-Wan's assailant, and now she's stuck in an unfamiliar environment with a man who embodies everything she philosophically opposes. She is perhaps a bit more curt than usual as a result.

Still, they have a mission, and between their bouts of disagreement (Cody is a master of passive aggressive sniping and Satine is in fine form herself) they manage to track down the time traveller.

Just in time to save the infant he was about to harm. Cody acts as an immediate distraction as Satine snatches the baby out of threatening arms and while she protects the precious bundle Cody starts on an epic beatdown. Alas, their enemy is cowardly and manages to throw a smoke bomb or similar and escape, leaving them alone...

With a baby. And the slain bodies of his former guardians.

"Who could do this to a child?!" Satine asks indignantly, softly bouncing the little redheaded boy in her arms, "What could possibly be so important as to mandate this monstrosity?"

Cody looks up from where he's been searching through the effects, and then back down at the datapad that had been tucked beneath a cloak.

"I think I know." He says, offering her the device, screen displaying its contents in bright array.

"JEDI CANDIDATE: OBI-WAN KENOBI"

...

They find some supplies as they figure out what to do next. Their enemy's purpose is now clear, they need to find a way to protect little Obi-Wan and find a way home without disrupting the timeline.

As Cody points out, their best bet to solve both problems is the same: deliver Obi-Wan Kenobi to the Temple on Coruscant where the Jedi can shelter him and perhaps provide them with advice on a way home.

Satine looks hesitant (a multitude of What Ifs going around in her head, perhaps Obi-Wan didn't NEED to be a Jedi?) before she nods her head in agreement.

Of course now they need to GET to the Temple without attracting attention. And they're not exactly high on resources.

Which means you now have a long road trip, Satine and Cody with Baby Obi in hand travelling by whatever cheap transportation they can find getting closer and closer to Coruscant, ever watchful for the foe they know is out there, following them.

Of course this gives a lot of time for Cody and Satine to talk. It's awkward. Two people with nothing in common but the man who was once/is the child they cradle so gently. But with no one else to turn to it happens.

They argue. Profusely. Over politics, ideals, passions. Cody is determined to make her see that whatever his origins he truly believes in the Republic, will do all he can to protect the people within it and that even if he had the choice he would still fight if it stopped Dooku's armies from overrunning planet after planet. Satine sets out to show him the long term consequences of this war, the concessions creeping in that erode the very foundations of society, that someone needs to take a stand against the thoughtless violence and warmongering etc etc.

That they both just want the war end, the Jedi to be able to return to being peacekeepers, is something that gives them common ground.

(Unstated is the deep and abiding adoration they both hold for a certain Jedi Master who had better damn well appreciate what they're doing for his sake)

They're completely taken aback the first time one of their fellow travellers tells them what an adorable son the have. They're still shocked the next trip when an old Tholothian pats Cody on the shoulder with a wry "Wives, huh?" following one of their tiffs. By the time the giggling teenage daughter of the freighter pilot compliments Satine on having "such a helpful husband" (Cody had diaper duty that day), they've decided to just roll with it. It makes a good cover, and if people are going to assume it anyway...

(For the record.Baby Obi-Wan is adorable and they both dote on him far too much. Neither is looming forward to giving him up, even if it means retuning to a version of him who doesn't wail so much whenever they get more than two steps away.)

There are a few near misses and almost disasters, they definitely get attacked by pirates at least once, and by the end of it both of them find themselves eyeing the other with great appreciation...

(Satine is a truly impressive shot, Cody kind of wants to stick her in front of the shinies and let her completely decimate their egos. And Cody's impressive athleticism and resourcefulness make Satine wonder what he'd look like in proper Mandalorian armour.)

There's some sort of final showdown on Coruscant, where they successfully manage to subdue their opponent and get possession of the time travel device, before reluctantly having to let Obi-Wan go back to where he belongs...

(There are tears. And kisses. And as they tuck the blanket around those little limbs and hand him and the datapad off to the rather confused Temple guard, Cody and Satine silently vow that one day their version of him will be just as content.)

From there it's just a matter of getting back to their time, and both of them feel more than a little reluctant. Despite it all, it's been nice to be free of the confines of duty, to just be a happy couple travelling the galaxy together.

Cody looks at Satine. She looks back. And then they reach for one another and allow themselves one single passionate kiss before time catches up with them.

"Thank you husband." "It's been a pleasure, wife."

And they step through the newly formed portal.

Life resumes.

The war continues ever onwards, and if Commander Cody of the 212nd happens to use his spare time to send messages back to Mandalore reassuring a certain Duchess of his and his General's continued welfare, then it's nobody's business but his own.

And if the Duchess of Mandalore seems to take more interest in the legal status of the GAR, starts looking at the laws regarding multiple consorts well, it's not a crime to dream.

Yet little changes until the fateful day Maul decides to launch his invasion and Obi-Wan Kenobi disobeys orders and heads to the Twilight...

Only to find Cody waiting for him. "Hurry up Sir, theres a lady waiting on us."

Obi-Wan protests of course but Cody is adamant and probably ends up ending the argument by kissing his Jedi into submission.

Obi-Wan kisses back of course, but they've got a Duchess to rescue and a planet to save and while I don't know the specifics, if they save Mandalore, how exactly they find out about the chips and prevent Order 66, but I know that one day Satine does indeed get to see her boys stand next to her in the armour of Clan Kryze that she so carefully picked out as their family celebrates around them.

And they live happily ever after.

:)

[matrixaffiliate]

Like the Storybooks

Co-written with @hufflepuffmarlenemckinnon​

FFN and AO3

(sorry everyone, my internet died as I was trying to post this)

Chapter 20

Sirius, as matter of habit, rose with the sun. He was already, to some extent, aware that Marlene did not. She would have to be woken by a lady’s maid in order to be on time for breakfast. But on that first day of their secret marriage, Sirius stayed in bed with the sleeping princess and just took in the sight of her. She’d cast off her shift entirely nearly as soon as her inner chamber door was shut behind them and hadn’t found instance in the interim to reclothe herself.

Though he’d certainly seen representation of the nude female form in paintings and sculptures, but this was a new experience. He had not expected that his life would include an extremely undressed heartbreakingly beautiful woman lying sleeping next to him. The the new day’s light peeked through the bed curtain, reflecting off her hair like a halo. He silently thanked the lord that his new wife slept deeply and well into the morning. The look on his face was probably worthy of all the ribbing he would take from the king and then some. But he couldn’t help it. He’d always contended that a princess like this should not, by all logic, have been a real person. He had only become more sure of this as he fell in love with the woman. He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her sleeping head.

She stirred. Little sounds escaped from her perfect mouth but none of them came together into anything that Sirius understood as language.

“Good Morrow, My Princess.”

Though he’d intended to remind her that they were meant to tell the king and queen about their marriage and beg their blessings, he forgot all about it as Marlene’s mouth found his.

The couple were not in attendance at breakfast that morning.

After a truly mortifying experience involving the Lady’s maid, Emmeline, Sirius was quite glad to be clothed and above suspicion that afternoon.

Eventually the opportunity presented itself for himself and Marlene to speak privately with the King and Queen.

After they’d made a show of propriety for lookers on, and were well out of earshot, Marlene took no prisoners in the endeavor.

“We’ve entered into a precontracted marriage. I assumed you’d be pleased with the match. It was rather late into the evening when the discussion came to pass, you see. Waiting until morning to beg your permission seemed both unnecessary and vexsom.” She was fearless in such a way that set Sirius’s pulse racing. The walls he’d carefully constructed around parts of his mind had come crashing down all at once and only hours ago. He was still adjusting to the fact he didn’t just love her; he was allowed to desire her. The whole thing was very distracting, to say the least.

James’s face was truly a sight as he took in the statement his cousin had matter of factly dolled out. He cycled through confusion to shock, onto mild disgust and finally to amusement. Sirius could have predicted the exact responses, but they were quite a lot of fun to watch, regardless.

“You broke through my knight’s chastity belt? I thought he had it soldered on.”

“Marriage tends to be the key to such things.” Marlene smirked at the King and then winked at the Queen who chuckled.

Sirius still had not said said anything up to that point. He’d expected that the king would make some sort of crack about the concept of chastity. He’d been a little too loud in his defense of the virtue being ideal in a knight for this to have gone any other way. It did not stop his face from heating up with embarrassment. Why did this have to be discussed? Couldn’t they just… talk of war or something? Surely they had enough battles to plan that this was all very silly?

He chided himself that he’d rather plan the demise of his own family, where good men would surely die, than tolerate a little embarrassment. Marlene, surely did not seem embarrassed in the least. She seemed quite pleased with herself.

Sirius no longer wanted to think about war, all he could think of was how very difficult this secret would be to keep. It was a battle unto itself to refrain from touching her.

“Am I to understand your mild insults as your blessings upon our union?” Sirius smirked, tearing his eyes away from his wife to meet his dearest friend and sovereign eye to eye.

“Yes many blessings and all that. But it’s not going to be popular with… nearly anyone… so I hope you have some sort of plan.” James turned to Marlene with a pained expression.

“I always have a plan, cousin.” Marlene rolled her eyes with a huff and Sirius restrained from kissing her as her eyes flashed dangerously. “You knew my mother. I’m ashamed you had any doubt.”

“I had no plan. Largely, I just do what her Grace tells me.” Sirius admitted, chuckling as Marlene regained her temper.

“Well that sounds like the start of a long and happy marriage to me. What’s the plan, your Grace?” Queen Lily’s warm smile reassured Sirius that he hadn’t stepped on any royal toes in making this rather hasty decision.

“It’s best if we keep our union a secret from the court until my husband returns to me a Duke.” Marlene moved to take Sirius’ arm and smiled at her own jest. She was making it very hard not to kiss her, and by the look on her face she knew it.

“Your instincts are good, cousin. I hope that you’ll advise me someday when the Chief Minister has decided she’s had quite enough. Though I am concerned that there will be rather glaring evidence of your marriage before we are able to take Semprapuria, at least with the current plan in place.” James looked pointedly at Marlene.

Sirius didn’t quite understand. Everyone was already meant to think that they were in love. What evidence could be so glaring that the whole court would become suspicious that the affair was more than courtly in nature? Before he put it together in his head, Marlene's voice chimed in.

“Worry about the fruitfulness of your own marriage cousin. Leave me to mine. I have contingencies worked out, in any case.”

James rolled his eyes, “Of course you do.”

Sirius could have kicked himself. He’d been rather preoccupied and had somehow failed to consider the fact that Marlene could be with child.

“Your Majesties,” Sirius heard the stilted formal tone to his own voice and nearly cringed. “Do we have your leave to go to Father Hagrid? I’d prefer we get this in the church records so there will be no questions as to the honor of the Princess.”

“My husband and I are of one mind. Is Father Hagrid a trustworthy holy man?”

“He’s been my confessor since I was 15. I trust him with my life” James answered without hesitation.

“Very well then. There’s no time like now.” Marlene looked up and nodded.

Sirius was very happy, in this instance, to follow the Princess’s lead.

Sirius pulled his boots off as he sat down on Marlene's - their - bed, and sighed contentedly.

“I’m so glad that everyone protested my idea to marry you off just after you arrived.”

Sometimes words just happened to Sirius. This was clearly one of those times. Though his statement was entirely true the look on Marlene’s beautiful face as she reacted was proof that they’d been completely inadvisable.

“You… what? You wanted to marry me off? This was never brought to my attention! Explain yourself, Sir!” Her attempt to look very angry was admirable. But there was still a hint of laughter in her eyes as she chided him, and standing there in her underskirt completely undermined her faux chagrin.

“Don’t look at me like that!” Sirius smiled and stood to walk up to her. “It wasn’t some wicked plot and it was to my own brother!”

“Well believe it or not that does not make it sound any better from my perspective.” Marlene's face became wide with shock. “In fact it makes it a sight more nauseating.”

“Oh come on, Marly…” He wrapped an arm around her waist and slid the other hand along her cheek. “All I knew about you was that you were the strangest lady I’d ever met and you considered me the most handsome gentleman at court.” He smirked down at her. “It seemed like a kindness to marry you to a man who bares a strong resemblance. I wasn’t aware that you’d only have the genuine article.”

“You are quite lucky Sir,” Marlene snaked her arms around his neck and Sirius knew he was in the clear, “that you are so very handsome. I don’t generally think I’d be over fond of the touch of a man who wanted to have me as his sister in law.” She rolled her vivid blue eyes. Her bitten lips curled themselves just so, into a most captivating smile. Sirius pulled her closer. The look in her eyes was fast becoming addictive. He lifted her shift from the bottom to tease soft caresses up the outside of her thigh.

“Well it does appear that I am lucky then. Because you seem more than a little fond of my touch.”

She only nodded and took in a sharp breath. Her eyes were so full of want as he brought his lips to hers. When she practically melted into his kiss, he knew that he was more than lucky.

They couldn’t have been asleep for long when a messenger burst into the Princess’s chambers. This was highly irregular. Therefore Sirius had to assume someone was there to harm Marlene and prepare to defend her with his own life… while completely naked. He’d always thought he’d die with a sword in his hand, but he’d not pictured it quite like this. Life had taken a turn for the strange when Princess Marlene came to live at court.

“I am not here to do anyone harm! I’m just a messenger!” The man cowered as Sirius pinned him against the wall, sword at his throat. “Lady McGonagall sent me to collect Sir Sirius! She says it’s… about your family? That’s all I know. I promise. Please lower your sword and… put on some clothing?” He said the last of his plea in a hushed voice.

“If you even think about saying anything about this you will regret it for the rest of your life, do you understand?” Marlene interjected in a disconcertingly threatening voice for a woman who had been screaming bloody murder not a moment ago. Though she was still standing naked as the day of her birth, she held herself with such authority that she might have been wearing her cousin's own crown.

There was no time to think. Sirius’s head was spinning as he quickly dressed and, since there was no going back from this in any case kissed his wife goodbye as he followed the messenger. He was sure whatever news awaited him was grim.

[dear-jjh]

Lost in His Eyes | Hwang Minhyun

requested: no format: in paragraphs characters: hwang minhyun x reader word count: 3.2k genre: angst author’s note: my first wanna one post for this month! i’ve been wanting to write for minhyun and i’ve been planning and sorting out my ideas for this scenario even during my exams but only finished it during the beginning of this week. i hope you’ll like it and let me know what you think! feedbacks are greatly appreciated and motivates me to write more and better. thank you ♡ 

masterlist

Minhyun… you met him at your friend’s house party, Jisung’s. The moment you laid your eyes on him, you knew that you wanted to get to know him. His dark brown eyes felt like it captivated a part of you when he made eye-contact. Something about his innocent, pure eyes made you slightly tremble, your heart rate increasing, and palms sweating.

It took over a month for the both of you to get to know each other fairly well. After he saw your skills by the way you fixed up Jisung’s house for the party, he asked you if you could help him with his since it would be his first one.

Who were you to say no? Who were you to reject his pleading eyes that stared deeply into yours? You said yes with no hesitation at all.

He mentioned that his party will not happen until two or three more months, a party to celebrate the ending of the first term but he just wanted to let you know early about it so you can plan ahead, way ahead.

During two to three months before the party, you both didn’t waste any time. For the first month, Minhyun would always ask you out for a quick coffee at the nearest shop by your campus to talk about the upcoming party.

It made you smile, just witnessing how nervous he was but at the same time, you could tell that he was too excited for it.

You would spend your time together at the cafe just talking about all of the things that can happen at the party. For the first month, meeting each other at the coffee shop has been a routine right after your last lecture in the afternoon.

Sitting down, ordering a drink and laying out both of your ideas. It was fun, you weren’t even able to do this with Jisung’s. Jisung made you do your thing, he left everything up to you and all he did was buy the materials that you needed.

But it was different with Minhyun, you were able to tell that he wanted to get involved with all the planning. It was only a house party yet he treated it as if it meant a lot to him. Maybe he wanted to prove your schoolmates that he wasn’t just a smart, quiet guy from his group of friends, maybe he wanted to show people that he can also have fun like his friends, maybe he wanted to show people the other side of him.

For the first month of your quick meetings, you were able to slowly get to know the other side of Minhyun. Yes, he was still quiet and shy, but he showed you a side of him that you barely saw at school. He was goofy, funny and it was pleasing to spend your time after school with him. You weren’t sure when, at what point did you start to feel some sort of connection with him. A deeper connection, you supposed.

You became really good friends with Minhyun and the coffee shop dates became more frequent than usual. The usual talks about that party’s plans became the topic that you started to least converse about. Your conversations became deeper, more personal. Sharing about your life experiences, stories, moments, and how your day went.

You both started texting each other every day, every night, which left you with 4 hours of sleep on average. You text messages contained with nothing but non-sense, something that only the two of you understood and sometimes, some late night deep talks. Messages that made you think twice about your relationship. It felt like you had something but at the same time, there was none.

Confused, was what you felt. Your feelings for him deepened each passing day and you didn’t know what to do with it. You didn’t know if he felt the same way or if he even felt anything at all.

Action speaks better than words, they say, you decided to go with that saying. Minhyun wasn’t the best on expressing himself through words so his actions meant something more to you, at least. Actions such as dropping you off in your class and even picking you up sometimes. It never failed to surprise you to see him leaning against the wall as he waited for you to come out of your class. HIs face lighting up when he sees you approaching him and once you do, he would slide his arm around your shoulder and rest it there. Your body tensing up because of the sudden contact.

During your coffee shop “dates”, you used to sit right across each other but he began to sit beside you, his face sneaking in beside yours to check what you were looking at on your laptop. You could feel him breathing on the side of your face and it would made all the hair in your body stand up.

After your coffee shop “dates”, he would offer you a ride home since its already dark outside. “Come on, I’ll drop you off home.” he offered as he picked up his books from the table and placed it in his backpack. You shook your head in refusal and he slightly pouted his lips upon hearing your rejection.

“I can’t let a girl like you walk home at this hour, its already dark. I’d hate myself if something bad happen to you.” he insisted, with another pleading eyes that you can’t find yourself saying no to, and so he ended up dropping you off that night and the next few nights after that. It always happened but one of the most recent ones caught you longing for more.

When you were about to step out of the car, Minhyun stepped out first and ran to your side to open the door for you. He walked you to the door of your apartment and kissed your forehead. When you felt his lips on your forehead, all you could think was, is this just a dream? Because if it was, then you wouldn’t want to wake up from it. He stepped back after his gesture to see your cheeks turning rosy pink, “I’ll head home now, I’ll see you tomorrow!” he smiled and turned his back.

You stood frozen in place but before he could get into his car, you managed to form a few words to say to him.

“Thank you again for dropping me off, text me when you get home. Goodnight!” You said in a louder tone of your voice so he can hear you clearly. Minhyun nodded and left. You received a text from him that night saying that he got home safely.

That night, you barely got any sleep, just from all the thinking and questions you had. Why did he kiss your forehead? What did that mean? What was your relationship? Was he aware of your feelings? Did he feel the same way? Questions that remained unanswered until the day of his party.

Time passed by so fast. Well, thats what they say, it flies by when you’re happy and you were, because of Minhyun. Months passed by and theres only one more week until his party. He came with you to buy the decorations and the materials to use, he also bought the drinks for the upcoming night. Minhyun was rich, he was popular and intelligent. He was kind and actually cared about his studies. He was good-looking too. In short, he did fit your ideal type, he was your ideal type. It wasn’t hard to fall for someone like him. 

You began to start decorating three days before and Minhyun asked you to come over to his house. You hesitated to go since it will just be the two of you but he forced you to. With his pleading eyes that you can never resist, you said yes.

When you got there, it was quiet. You could feel your heart beating so fast and you were afraid that Minhyun might hear it. You pressed the doorbell and in just two seconds, you heard Minhyun rushing out of his house to open the door. He was wearing a plain white shirt and medium-washed jeans, and his hair was still air-drying from his shower, you assumed. “Welcome.. to my house.” He said shyly while looking at the ground trying to avoid eye-contact.

You smiled at him, “Can I come in?” you asked. Minhyun quickly nodded and gestured you to come inside as he locked the door behind you.

You laid out all the materials and the decorations that you will be using for the party and Minhyun just paid close attention to your movements then he suddenly remembered.

“Are you coming to my party?” he curiously asked as he lifted up the remaining bags from the floor to the table.

You looked at him, a little flustered, “Am I invited?”. You saw his eyes widen as if you just said something that completely swayed him. He slightly laughed, “Of course you are!” he exclaimed. You walked towards the living room to place some decorations on the coffee table. “I’ll see, I have a meeting that night with the student board but I’ll try to go after the meeting.” you chuckled and turned to look at him.

He frowned, a little bit, he looked a little.. disappointed. “Okay.” he sighed.

-

You finished your meeting with the student board early and it turned out that two of them were also headed to Minhyun’s party. You texted Minhyun before you leave the restaurant that you had your meeting at, “I’m on my way, I’ll see you soon.”

You checked your clock and it was almost midnight. You sighed, regretting the fact that you agreed to start the meeting at eight o’clock in the evening instead of six. If only you started early then you wouldn’t be so late at the party.

You grabbed the paper bag underneath your chair. You had brought a dress to wear to Minhyun’s and your make-up kit to touch up. You stood up from your seat and told the members of the board that you will just quickly change.

“You look fine already!”, one of your co-members joked. You laughed at her and just proceeded to go one of the restrooms.

It only took you about fifteen minutes to change and fix your make-up, making it a little bolder than how you would usually have it, a little bit more noticeable. You wanted to look nice, and different for tonight. You wore a black silk dress that flowed nicely over your body, it didn’t hug your curves but it caught attention just like how a fitted dress would. You were sure of that because as soon as you walked out of the restroom, your co-students’ mouths were parted and the other customers turned their heads at you, making your cheeks flush and heat up a bit.

You checked your phone and it has been twenty minutes since you texted Minhyun, and there was still no reply. It was odd, knowing him, he would reply as fast as he can. Maybe it was only because of the party, maybe he was drinking with his friends and didn’t bother checking his phone. You shrugged it off and headed to the car to go to Minhyun’s house.

-

Before you step out of the car, you could hear the people at the party screaming as if they were having the time of their lives, the loud music can probably be heard even from a few blocks away.

You entered his house to see a few people already passed out on the ground and on the couch. You scanned your eyes to check the decorations and you smiled to see most of them still intact despite the wild crowd.

You headed towards the dining area to see Jisung and his other friends sitting down, no sign of Minhyun though.

Jisung greeted you with a loud hello, you assumed he was drunk but he denied it. “Where’s Minhyun?” you finally asked.

Jisung giggled as he jokingly patted your shoulder, “Are you dating him...yet?”

You were stunned by his question but you honestly wanted to ask yourself the same thing. “What? No, why would you ask that?”

He just shrugged off your question and told you that Minhyun has been drunk. Incredibly and surprisingly drunk, he claimed. “Hes probably in his bedroom, he passed out pretty early, he drank too much.” Jisung added while laughing.

Without wasting any more second, you started to walk up the stairs to see where Minhyun was. There was a weird feeling in your stomach, it was undescribable. You were sort of nervous, but excited. It was a confusing feeling.

When you finally reached the second floor, you searched for his bedroom door. A few steps to the right, you finally found it. It was at the end of the hallway.

You knocked at his door, twice, but no one opened. You presumed that maybe he was just sleeping. You placed your warm hands around the doorknob and began to turn it. When you finally opened the door, you were welcomed by the moonlight coming from his window, it was enough light to spot where Minhyun was.

You looked around, your eyes shifting towards his bed and when you did, your heart dropped. You suddenly felt cold, numb. You clenched your fist and covered your parted lips with your other hand, your vision beginning to blur.

It was Minhyun and a girl laying on his bed. Beside each other. Pieces of clothing laid on his bedroom floor and Minhyun sleeping soundly while they were covered with his gray comforter.

You wanted to drop on your knees and let your tears fall freely. You wanted to let out your loudest cry but you had to hold it in to not wake them up. To not let them know about your presence. Minhyun moved from his position and turned to face whoever that girl was. He wrapped and rested his arm on her waist and dozed off to sleep again.

Trying to control your tears, you bit your lower lip and covered your mouth with your hand, and started to open the door behind you to walk out of his room.

As soon as you opened the door, you heard Minhyun call your name, but you were fast enough to get out of his sight.

-

You were clueless on how you got home from last night. You could remember all of the eyes on you when you walked down the stairs crying. Jisung even tried to ask you what happened but you ran out the door ignoring everyone, everything.

Your head ached a little bit, maybe because of all the crying from last night. You got home and took out the vodka that was in your cupboard and drank half of it by yourself, not even aware of the pain that it will bring you the next morning.

You could remember Minhyun trying to call your phone for god knows how many times, but you ignored it. The text messages that he had sent you were countless, but you didnt bother taking a look at any of them.

You felt numb from what you saw last night. You didn’t expect that Minhyun was the type of person who would sleep around with other girls. Well, people tend to surprise other people a lot and maybe this was yours.

Your phone rang from your side table. The ringing made your head hurt so you didn’t even pay attention on who was the caller.

“Hello?” you answered with your morning voice.

“Y/N..” he whispered.

From the sound of the voice, you already knew who it was. Minhyun.

Him saying your name sent shivers all over your, and you suddenly felt cold but your tears betrayed you and before you knew it, they were already flowing down your cheeks. Its funny how his voice had this much impact in you.

You slightly pulled the phone away so he  wont hear your light sobbing. You were ready to end the call until, “I can explain.” he said, sounding more like he was trying to convince you to listen to his voice.

You let out a deep breath before speaking. “Theres nothing to explain, you don’t have to. I already know.” you sighed and tried to hold in the tears from falling again.

“But—“ he protested but you immediately cut him off, “Don’t worry about it. I’m okay. I’ll be fine. You don’t even owe me an apology or an explanation,” you fake laughed and paused, “We’re not dating, right? We’re just friends and you’re free to do anything that you desire to do and if that was one of them, then as a friend, I’ll wholeheartedly support you.” you lied, wholeheartedly? Really?

Minhyun sighed on the other line, “Y/N… Don’t do this, please.” he begged. You smiled, a bitter one, “Don’t do what?” you asked. You shook your head, “Nevermind, don’t answer that.”

You didn’t want him to say anything that will make you think otherwise. You just.. wanted to breathe and slowly let go of all the feelings that you have for him.

“I had a lot of questions, Minhyun. Last night, I wanted to ask you for answers. My stupid ass even wanted to confess to you because I thought that maybe, just maybe, you had some sort of feelings for me too.” you paused again, to catch your breath and to gather all the words that you wanted to say to him.

“But last night, I got my answers and you know whats funny?” you slightly chuckled as another drop of tear escaped your eye and decided to flow down your cheek, “I got my answers without even asking you, without needing you to answer any of them. Everything suddenly became clear to me.”

And with that, you didn’t even let Minhyun respond to what you said. You ended the call and as soon as you did, you broke down crying, again.

You took it in a positive way that he decided to call you about what happened, instead of meeting you in person to talk about it. With his soft, gentle, brown eyes, you didn’t know if you’d be able to resist it. It would have been fatal because every time he looked into your eyes, you felt weak and vulnerable, you were lost in them. If he looked into your eyes and pleaded again for you to listen to his explanation, you knew that without a blink of an eye, you would say yes, as always, not being able to resist.

You reflected on your questions and tried answering them by yourself based on what you witnessed last night.

Why did he kiss your forehead? What did that mean? He kissed your forehead because he wanted to and it didn’t mean anything to him. It was a friendly kiss, although you weren’t sure if friends usually did that. It obviously meant something deeper to you but clearly, none to him.

What was your relationship? You were friends. Thats it. Friends who had romantic feelings, well, just you. It was one-sided.

Was he aware of your feelings? Maybe, maybe not.

Did he feel the same way? No, most likely not. If he did, he wouldn’t be in bed with a girl, right? But he was.

Even though you weren’t happy with the answers to your questions, you were thankful that at least they were answered. Although, all you could do now was just hope that the answers that you received were the complete opposite from what you’ve gotten.

posted on 180504

[stuffandsundry]

Arc 1: The Beat Riders

Premise

Most of the early episodes don't need to change all that much, compared to later--

Ah. Shit. I forgot to address my beef with Kaito. ok gimme a sec uhh. Ok. Okokok so here we go. I'm not gonna do this for all the characters because mostly, character introductions are fffffairly okay. Some are better than others but like, they're all at least workable… except. HIM. Kaito, the most out of all the gaim characters, makes zero sense so im gonna throw EVERYTHING out and try to extrapolate something based off of backstory given from Gaiden and canon and a little bit of real riders. Hope it makes sense. So, recap of backstory: Kaito's family used to be decently middle class and he played near the shrine tree, until Yggdrasil came in and bought them out. Kaito's dad didn't really know what to do after losing his purpose in life and turns to drinking/gambling, and they rapidly lose whatever money they had gotten from the corporation, dad becomes abusive, parents kill themselves and Kaito is left at an orphanage and grows up bitter and vaguely traumatized. Gets into a lot of fights at school, is a history nerd, etc. Cool, that's workable. Extrapolation from that for this scenario (oh yeah also, I did say girl now, it's Keiko now)

Keiko rreally hates Yggdrasil. If they had never moved in, maybe her family could have stayed together.

She's always looking for something to challenge her- she saw her family "give up" early on, and she doesn't want to end up like them. Struggle as proof that she's alive? No sympathy for people who've given up fighting, in her eyes.

Related to Point 2. Believes in a fair fight. There's no use in beating down someone clearly weaker than you, and anyone who does that is a coward and a bully. And if you need to lie to someone to beat them, then that doesn’t count as an actual victory. Wants to be acknowledged as the best by her own power.

A lot of pride. Doesn't like accepting help or depending on others/seeming weak. Talks big but also has a lot of like. Self-worth issues, thinks that people have to be "worth" something to be allowed to live, which comes from being abandoned by family so young.

Listen I know that this is a Very Standard anime rival lone wolf archetype but it didn't get to be a standard because it /Didn't/ Work, also I got really attached to Keiko halfway through typing this just let me have this please, I rarely if ever see it applied to girls,

Actually, the soccer episode also gave me the idea that Keiko would be the type of person that just. Rolls with things, no matter how vaguely ludicrous they are. Re: canon soccer episode. What are you gonna do when you get punched in the gut, sending you to an alternate dimension where the city wasn't destroyed and everyone uses the power of the drivers to play soccer? Clearly, become the best damn armored soccer player ever. That's such a funny trait I'm keeping it. It would be such a good source of deadpan comedy. Example: in high school Keiko was a delinquent who got into fights, how did she end up captain of a dance team? Nobody knows. (Most likely: somebody tried to insult her by saying that she couldn't dance for shit and she decided that the best way to rise to this challenge was to… take over a dance team and make them teach her.) Simultaneously zero chill and weirdly chill. Chill about all the wrong things.

Okay, back to plot. Only minor changes for the first 14 episodes, which I'm collecting into an arc--

Instead of Micchy becoming Ryugen, I wanna say that Micchy shows the rest of the Beat Riders the driver he got from Sid ahead of time and Mai sees her chance and asks him to give it to her. Because on one hand, Mai's grateful that Kouta's staying behind because Yuuya's gone missing and Mai isn't sure that she can handle being the final word of authority in Gaim, but on the other, Mai's kinda annoyed that Kouta stayed behind because it's like he doesn't trust her to be able to protect the team. Just because she's doubting herself doesn't mean that he should! She wants to stand on equal level with Kouta, so the driver. Micchy does give Mai the driver, because he cares a lot about Mai.  However, subconsciously or not, he was looking forwards to being the one of the people that the team relied on, so a seed of resentment is also planted here. This colors his decisions in favor of keeping things secret from the rest of the team moving forwards as well.

Within the team, Mai and Micchy more-or-less switch roles, except that Micchy is also finding out a lot of Yggdrasil's-- and his sister's-- secrets in the meantime, so he's still extremely relevant. This way, there's a character arc set up for both Mai and Micchy-- Mai needs to learn that Gaim will follow her (like they did when Yuuya was around) not for her fighting ability or anything, but because she cared about people and wanted to make them happy. Mai realizes that she didn't need to change in order to become a strong leader, because she was already a strong leader and she just needed to trust in herself. On the other hand, Micchy's going to eventually realize that staying quiet about things that upset him is actively working to make his life worse because his friends and family aren't mind readers and they can't tell if they did something to upset him if he doesn't verbalize it. And if his friends and family really, truly care about him, then they'd be upset at THEMSELVES about hurting him, not at him. His secretive martyrdom is a ticking time bomb for everyone.

Ah yeah, one plot change I have to mention here: Keiko doesn't want the other teams to be her vassals because what's the fucking point, Team Baron is the best anyways. (That entire thing was a little. Hm. Idk how much sense it made, man. And it only lasted like two episodes so there was no point to it except to show that Kaito was an asshole even???) So in this 'verse, the reason that she gives Hase and Jo more powerful lockseeds in the first place is because. Gaim is the only real challenger to Baron, which means that theres only one person that she can fight meaningfully and that’s boring as shit. Raid Wild and Invitto still want to fight, they're just lacking the means. The only real surprise is that they come after her with drivers, which she didn't know they had. She has mixed feelings about the sneak attack. On one hand, maybe Hase and Jo are stronger than she thought they were! On the other, those motherfucking SNAKES,

Oh wow I just realized that having Keiko instead of Kaito makes that scene where Mai goes into the forest alone and Baron finds her… really gay. Mai bandaging Keiko's arm and they talk about their childhoods together… Mai remembers that Keiko would always watch her dance and Keiko tells her she was too shy to go up and say hi… Mai's deal wanting to protect those that she holds dear and all that jazz, while Keiko's a cynical SOB. ( By the by, Kouta's not super concerned with Mai being in there until he remembers ah. Mai doesn't have a Lock Vehicle so she can't get out, and the white armored rider is in there, which is when he rushes in like a fool. Except he's on his own while Mai is with Keiko, so it ends up being Kouta who has to get rescued, etc, etc. a lot of early stuff goes this way tbh. Small changes, but overall plot stays same so im not gonna outline it all.)

Takako's thing is a lot more. Okay. Bear with me here. I feel she'd def be far more defensive than Takatora was, because she's got a lot more to prove, and she's pretty isolated-- again, handing out the drivers wasn't her idea, and she's not getting the respect someone else might get at her job level, it's really stressful but Takako's kept going because the people around her-- Ryumi and the other scientists-- say that this is all going to work. Enter Akira. (YEAH. YOU HEARD ME. KAZURABA AKIRA DESERVES A BIGGER ROLE FUCK YALL)

Akira works for Yggdrasil-- she used to be part of a subsidiary, but her last project just got wrapped up, and she was reassigned to Takako's division as junior project manag-- what the fuck. Oh my god?? Is THIS what Yggdrasil's doing? WAIT THAT'S HER LITTLE BROTHER, SHE RECOGNIZES THAT SUIT. If you have Akira and Takako working together I feel that a lot more is viable here, you could compare and contrast Akira's ideals and Takako's. You can def. challenge Takako's ideology that a little risk and loss now is worth the gains that studying Helheim will grant in the future. Akira can act as audience substitute, basically. She's here to yell "SUPERVISOR KURESHIMA, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, WHAT THE HELL" as takako eventually realizes that… possibly… maybe Akira has a point. She's spent so long chasing the company's bottom line she forgot things like, you know, empathy. The problem is, does she realize this too slowly to do any good? Also, what does Ryumi think about Takako's convictions wavering?

So while we're getting introduced to the main players of the Yggdrasil corporation through Akira, the Beat Rider side asks the questions: Who made these drivers, and why give them out to us? And whats with the strange forest? Which eventually leads us into the Christmas game, and the Yggdrasil base camp incident. Kouta learns considerably less than he did (seriously, how did those scientists not get suspicious) but he does learn: this forest is called Helheim, the scientists here work for yggdrasil, and that the Sengoku is the scientist in charge of this project. And then they realize that kouta isn't a yggdrasil employee and raise the alarm except oh no, that’s the moment that the inves attack and suddenly they have more to worry about. Again, minor changes. Kouta sees his sister at the Yggdrasil base but doesn't get the chance to talk to her, everything else can basically go as it did… incluuuding Hase.

Okay. Hase.

Here's how this works. His driver gets broken, okay, fine. Jo doesn't abandon him right away. Even if he's kind of an aggressive musclehead, they've still been working together for a while. But she's not enough to fight alone, and Hase can see that it's really only a matter of time before Jo's goodwill runs out. So he eats the fruit! And does not turn into a monster right away. Instead, it gives him the power that he was looking for this entire time-- he is able to fight on even level as the rest of the armored riders, even though his belt is broken, and it looks like everything is okay. With this, some of the other Beat Riders are considering eating the fruit too. Why's everyone so worried anyways? Besides, they look delicious… however, Micchy points out that Yggdrasil handles the fruits with the utmost caution, and that just because there are no visible harmful effects doesn't mean that they aren't dangerous, etc.

Kouta and Akira also sit down to have a talk about the driver over dinner one night-- they've both been kind of keeping secrets from each other. Akira tries to convince Kouta to stop using the driver because she knows that it's dangerous but isn't sure if Kouta knows that (remember, last time she saw Kouta using the driver in person was Episode 2 shenanigans) -> Kouta shows his sister that yeah, he knows that this isn't a joke, but he wants to help people like she raised him to do. Right now, they need the drivers to fight. Akira relents because he's right, but promises him that after the immediate crisis is over, they're going to have to have another talk about this. Kouta plans to bring his sister to the Gaim garage so that she can brief everyone on everything she's overheard in her the short time she's been working as Takako's assistant, but that'll have to wait until the weekend when she's free. Meanwhile, important stuff is going on in the rest of the city. Show that the beat riders have been losing their audience because of a sudden string of disappearances in Zawame (caused by ppl eating the fruits), and the police are encouraging most people to stay home. Not a lot of people are willing to go outside anymore-- they're scared, and rightfully so. Inves attacks are growing more frequent.

This is pretty frustrating for most of the Beat Riders, especially because people are telling them to break it up and just go home too. More and more Inves are showing up, too… And then some official or something shows up one day and says that until ZPD solves the mystery of the disappearances, the stages are going to be closed. And this is when Hase snaps. See, Hase has been using the belt for a while, so he's built up some immunity to the Helheim fruit's effects. (He doesn't lose it immediately like Yuuya did) But it's still not enough. He'd been acting erratically. More aggressive, recently. And today's the last straw. Hase gets into an argument with the official, it starts getting ugly, Jo steps in between them and…. Hase transforms into an Inves. People are taking pictures of it and everything-- even though the Beat Riders Hotline shuts down the live camera feed quickly, its not fast enough. And Hase goes after Jo. Kouta and Mai run over to pull him off of her and he runs off and everyones going???????

Hase holes up in a warehouse somewhere and mostly transforms back except for hand and he's terrified, he doesn't know what's going on. Jo finds him first and yells at him HEY WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, DUDE which, while totally understandable, does nothing for Hase's stress levels. He transforms into an Inves and runs out onto the street, where the others, still searching for Hase, stumble onto him. They end up fighting near Charmant and Oren comes out to see what the fuss was all about, he ends up joining the fight. Hase's lashing out in fear and pain but also he's putting civilians at risk, so the Beat Riders are forced to fight him even though they're well-aware that they can't just like, do a murder. Meanwhile, Keiko gets cornered in Helheim by Youko and Takako, and she is captured. Takako leaves halfway into the battle because she gets word that they've tracked down a Beat Rider that became an Inves and she has to take care of it ASAP. Kouta, Mai, and Jo are still fighting Hase (and also Oren, who doesn't really know what's going on and is trying to kill the inves) without actually trying to fight Hase when Takako shows up. She tells them that that Inves is no longer human and tries to put an arrow right through him, with intent to kill. When the smoke clears…

Jo falls to her knees, because she protected Hase. In the shocked silence afterwards, Jo tells Hase to run. She doesn't know whats going on! And maybe Hase can be kind of a jerk sometimes, and really annoying, he's still her friend, and she doesn't want to see him die. Hase regains some degree of control over his transformation and he backs away, runs off. Takako tries to go after him but is blocked by Kouta, who tells them to get Jo out of there and he'll handle the white armored rider. Spoiler alert: he can't handle the white armored rider, but he bought enough time for the rest of them to get out. Kouta is taken in by Yggdrasil.

I think this is a good place to stop for now, so I'll do more later. Okay, see you around!

[frankincenseisnotamonster]

The Rise

EXPECT IT! 

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DEETS:  

Today is the day we investigate. 

“Then one day you realized you would still be fighting duels, 

That you don’t just wake up changed, 

Your fight for change is in all the work, 

In every micro adjustment you make,

Every time you learn a new chord progression, 

It’s in the days your pinky slowly becomes more mobile, 

In accepting each setback after each triumph, 

And taking refuge, 

And feeling a sense of solace, 

That it is all practice, 

Practice in not betraying yourself, 

Practice in being soft, 

Practice in injuring the patriarchy, 

Practice in holding up up one more stair for the womxn who will come after, 

Gazing up at the infinite spiral, hoping for a better chance for the next generations, 

A view from the summit, 

That’s why you practice, 

That’s why you fight, 

That’s a reason to rock.” 

What a wild time to be alive. This shelter in place has been stressful and devastating for so many, and while there is suffering I am grateful for the pause. I have been practicing more guitar and yoga, and doing shadow work. Shadow work refers to a type of psychology that examines the shadow, part of ourselves we may try to hide or deny. Hi ego, hey shame, welcome back pride, you never really left though right, I accept you selfishness, oh judgement my old friend. 

Stuff like that, I don’t want to look at it, but that’s a gift of time, like the universe saying, “oh I see you have a lot to work on, well you gon work on it now!” 

And I feel personal work, shadow work, inner work are important for activism and helping others, so you can meet community from a place of deep awareness. This is important. 

It’s strange similar to the guitar battles, this quarantine, this time is making me face my self. Like I’M REALLY FACING MYSELF! And this is hard, but it is strangely enjoyable. I’m thankful for the privilege to be able to look at myself as a complex, imperfect human being. I feel like I am going through a dark night of the soul over here, but maybe thats what I’m always doing. 

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I am thinking of my upcoming guitar battle, the 3rd one, the last one. And to go forward I want to take a moment to go back to what I post 2 years ago in May 2018: 

Over the course of about 5 years I ran into 3 guys that I had different experiences with, but all of them left me very changed and usually for the better.

I was lovely lonely and wanted attention so I reluctantly ran towards guys who wouldn’t and couldn’t give me affection. But this wasn’t all true.

I wanted what was unavailable because I didn’t want to face myself. And the problem with attention is that you cannot have enough. I ran to the wrong people to run away from myself.

After many tears, waking up at 6 am, doing things I wasn’t proud of, manic, and out of breath what I remembered was guitar. I think what we seek out and what we envy says a lot about us.

And what I noticed about all these dudes was how much fun they seemed to be having playing guitar. So I try to listen to my envy now, my difficult parts, the hyena. Walk with your hyena.  I want do what I admire others for doing.

So instead of running to guys with guitar, I will try to be a girl with a guitar running to myself. But is that really such a good idea?

Looking at this is so fun, because even though I am still doing lots of work on myself and on guitar. This is the time to do it, and I am learning again and again how to run to myself in the most authentic and true way for me.

 I still do things I am not proud of, but things do knock me down like they used to, trespasses make me laugh, I’m walking with my hyena, accepting the hard parts of myself and I’m having fun playing guitar!  I know the more I learn the more fun I’ll have. 

One of my dear friends was married recently, and although the wedding that was planned couldn’t happen, like the rebels we are my group of friends created a small event for the married couple! This was really special to me because my band mate and I got to play some music for them and create a special song just for them. When I think back to a few years ago maybe I could have done a play or something I don’t know! But now I can make and play music, I can give a special gift to my friend who has been in life for 16 years!  Even if I am not that good yet, it truly warms my heart that I can give in that way, especially to the important people in my life. 

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The joy I have been able to experience because of playing guitar only happened because I let hard things happen so I am thankful for the hard things too even as I work on them. 

Some area of darkness I have been focusing on are self-sabotage and self- betrayal. In my first guitar battle and before 2019 I was really focused  on undoing societal messaging, undoing the toxic norms I was internalizing from capitalism and the patriarchy. In this revolution, in 2019 and 2020 I got more feedback from 2nd guitar battle and beyond. 

Now I am digging into what I like to think of as a 2nd ring of conditioning, parental experiences, and how they play out in my life.  There’s some generational healing especially around addiction. I have a lot more empathy now for those struggling with addiction. Addiction is the kind of god that makes your knees  tremble, the human-ness in me has reverence for something that can take your soul so completely. 

One of my good friends shared a poem with my a few years ago by Portia Nelson that reminds me how the process of moving through self-betrayal or bad habits, doesn’t happen fast, it doesn’t happen easily and will just look like small changes over time that can add up to a hard won new behavior. 

I love this poem so much. I cry every time I read it. The chapters acknowledge the process, and shows the change in how we take responsibility for and ultimately give love to ourselves. I’m at like Chapter 3 now, and looking forward to 4. 

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One of my other wonderful and lovely friends said to me some words, that I am like a detective investigating and I was like wow I relate to that so much. All this work I like to look at, as if I am solving a big mystery. The only big mystery is reconnecting to myself when I really think about it, and a lot is life work, like all our lives just letting it all be a fun mystery party. 

As I investigate and self-examine I have been reading and going back to old things to give me some perspective and its been awesome! I started reading, “Untamed” by Glennon Doyle and did not know how badly I needed this nor, how much felt like revisiting old truths with even more verve even more vigor. I had some reservations at first, but after hearing some recommendations from multiple people I had to dive in. Glennon as the title implies  weaves a memoir of how she was caged and how she got free. So much of the book resonates with ideals that I love like womxn being wild, be dark, insatiable, untamable. It covers these usual things like how the patriarchial society teaches women to look outside themselves for validations, to not have wants, to be desirable rather than to desire. How it hurts guys too,how it cages everyone no matter your gender.  So theres all of that usual stuff and other great reminders that feel really relevant as I shift through shadows. Here are some echoes and snippets from the book that made me feel full: 

don’t avoid pain, pain is magic, maybe you don’t have to seek it out, but if you try to resist it, try to stop it you’re gonna stop yourself, your gonna stop your spirit. 

not in rebelling and not in obedience

know and let it stand, know what you want, do what you want, don’t ask permission, don’t explain. 

a woman full of herself is what we need 

One line that reminded me a lot of the guitar battles for me was , “the moral arch of our lives bends towards meaning, especially if we bend it with all our god damn might”. The guitar battles are my way of bending with all my might, and I’m so glad I did and so glad that no matter what I’ll continue. 

This book also reminds me of another book I have been reviewing, “Succulent Women” by Sark, which talks about so many different great ways to heal and be a woman that really living. It mentions how when we block our darkness we also block our joy and I couldn’t agree more. Sometimes pain is to big to feel, but I think if you have the opportunity and the space for it exploring the darkness is always a fruitful venture. 

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The most revolutionary world to me is one where womxn are living in a way that is most true and beautiful (as the author of Untamed notes) a world with no war, where people are fed and have healthcare, have homes, have clean water, that honors softness, honors feeling and empathy for surely in that kind of world many womxn would rejoice and capitalism and the patriarchy could not exist. 

I want the music I make to be a dream plan for womxn that know life can be more beautiful more just, more caring, more true. 

Investigating the darkness feels good and feels right and my guitar battles are also my way of doing that. One day these battles will be over, but whether I beat my rivals or not isn’t the main point. I’m discovering things about myself, so in the best way I can,  I practice so I’m able to dream, plan and imagine through music a world of joy for womxn, because I believe that would be the most joyous world ever. 

I rewatched a film that is dear to my heart that I saw as a kid. Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind a Hayao Miyazaki film, which takes place fear in the future after the conflicts of humans have left the earth’s ecosystem completely devastated. Most of the earth has become a toxic jungle and small villages try to survive, and in the Valley of the Wind lives Nausciaa who loves plants and animals, and is a scientists. Seeing how things are today wearing masks, like they do in the film, conflicts raging so sporadically its hard to know which side is which, the film doesn’t feel to far off from life today. 

I bring this up because Nausicaa is a great example of a female protagonist who leads with her softness and sweetness. She loves deeply and is thrown into a rage when her father is killed needlessly by a neighboring kingdom hellbent on destroying the toxic jungle. I appreciate Nausicaa because she is strong and intelligent and seemingly fearless, but what I admire the most is that she cares.  

I work a lot to protect myself and sometimes hide my softness (although I could never really forget it!). I guess for a while as I have been growing up (and I still have so much growing up to do man!) I started to think maybe I shouldn’t be soft anymore, or vulnerable. 

However its something I really like about all my friends, that I like about Nausicaa and now always want to say I like about myself. I am soft! I am a tender heart here me roar!

I hope as it is May day all the work from shadows, from investigations can help us all imagine and create and take with our hands, as labour and the oppressed of the earth have done so often the justice we all so duly deserve.   

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UPDATES

I have been practicing a lot of basics like scales and chord progressions which is good for me since I am always trying to go to fast.  Since we have more time I have been getting a lot more hours of practice in which is really all I want just to practice forever muwhahahaha!  Really trying to slow down even though I can barely play as it is and already want to move on to sweep picking. I am slowing down like a snail working on different signature for a project. No plans. No expectations. Enjoying making something that I can’t wait to share, mostly with the ladies :) . 

I love when you call me names by Joan Armatrading *my new fav