#they are trying to coparent

[tealcicada]

Do you know that "Lemme see what you have!" "A knife!" "No!" vine with a little kid and his mom? That's 100% Sari and Megatron in your Megamom AU.

Yes it's exactly like that

[azirastars]

eddie always going to buck whenever hes having problems with chris is so crazy to me. like EVERYONE else in the 118 actually has kids, buck is the only one without any, and eddie STILL goes to him.

theyre coparents your honor!!!

[kettlefire]

Prepare for the unexpected. (DPxDC)

Everyone knew about the reign of Pariah Dark. Even those who did not dabble in those realms have heard the tale of the tyrant. A power-hungry man who ruled over the dead with an iron fist.

Following the rise of Pariah Dark, his realm had been effectively cut off from communication. Many mystics and magic users knew better than to open the door of nightmares that could arise if Pariah Dark's reach went further than his own realm.

Except, the universe had plans to bring the realm of the dead back into the cards.

A new opponent, one that had all of Earth's heroes scrambling for options. A being with powers of a god over weather, destruction was on the horizon. A world ending threat.

It's the only reason the Justice League was doing this. In a deep bunker, far from close civilization as a precaution, the heroes looked on with grim expressions.

The world was already being threatened. It would be destroyed regardless of what the league did. So it only made sense to make the last ditch effort. To summon someone strong enough to defeat the threat.

No one wanted to do it. No one wanted to be the one to pull the realm of the dead back to the living. The consequences were untold if this succeeded. If Pariah Dark was freed and defeated the threat, whose to say he won't want control?

That was a problem for later. For the aftermath. For now, the league could only watch on with bated breath as Constantine completely the summon ritual.

They watched on as the shadows in the room seemed to darken and grow. As the sigil sputtered to life with a glow that was growing increasingly brighter. A sudden gust of wind rushed through the room, the temperature began to drop with eaching ticking second.

And then it was all gone.

The room stood perfectly still. Just as it had been moments before. Nothing changed. No giant king standing before them, no sign that the ritual worked.

The room stood deadly still for another beat before the murmurs started. The team trying to make sense of the situation, figure out what went wrong.

Constantine swore up and down that this was the correct ritual, taking offense that they would even think the problem was on his end. It only made it better when it finally happened.

A loud sound ripped through the room, pulling everyone's attention back to the summoning circle. Just in time to see a tear appear in the space above the circle.

A thin tear that ran the length of eight feet. The fabric of the dimension seems to curl at the edges, pulling back to reveal a deep glowing swirl of greens. A dark gloved hand reached through, fingers curling around the edge of the tear, stretching it even further.

A portal. The ritual had worked, but there had been a delay. A delay that had every hero nerves on edge. Each team member tensed, weapons at the ready as they watched the being stretch the portal to the right size.

Then, a foot stepped out with a heavy thud. A dark boot that looked otherworldly despite its similarity to mortal clothing. A deep black that seemed never-ending. A second foot quickly followed before a full body emerged from the portal.

Not many people in the room have ever seen Pariah Dark, let alone know what to expect. Based on what Constantine and Zatara had said, this wasn't Pariah Dark.

A man had stepped out of the portal, standing at almost seven feet tall, and built like a brick house. One glance at the glowing white hair, deadly red eyes, and shard teeth was enough to know this being was not to be messed with.

But there was no giant show of armor or royal garbs. There is no large crown at the top of his head or jewelry from the infinite realms laced around his neck.

Instead, the man stood before them in combat boots, worn-in ripped jeans, a graphic t-shirt, and a spiked leather jacket. Despite his almost normal clothing choice, the man's jacket seemed to be a never-ending depth of the dark night sky. If one was to look closely enough, the cosmos could almost be made out in the sea of darkness.

None of that would have prepared them for when the man spoke. His tone sounded more bored than anything as he took a step forward.

"Oh, so now you need the help of the dead." The man had spoken, running a hand through his hair. When Batman took a step forward to speak, the man raised a hand. Immediately commanding silence in the single gesture. "I'm on babysitting duty and have yet to have a cup of coffee. I'll be right back."

Just like that, both the man and portal vanished into thin air. Leaving behind a group of stunned heroes. Not only was the man not Pariah Dark, but he was also supposedly babysitting.

"Did that just-"

The Flash had been the first voice to speak up, his eyes trained on where the man had once stood. Except he had barely made it through the first few words before the man was suddenly back.

The man that now had a child hanging off his shoulders and another teen being held up by his scruff. Unlike the man, these kids looked human.

Too human for Bruce's liking. The dark black hair and bright blue eyes had every heroes eyes flickering to Batman for just the briefest moment.

"This isn't fair! I'm not even the king. Why do I have to be here!" The teenager had been complaining the moment the man had reappeared. Arms crossed tight over his chest and seemingly used to being held dangling. "Besides, who brings kids to a show down! Wait til I tell mom about this."

"Aw, come on, Danny. This is gonna be fun!!" The younger girl seemed in much better spirits than the teen, Danny. She had climbed up the large man, sitting on his shoulders and resting her arms on the mess of glowing hair. "It's like take your kids to work day! Ooo, Dan! Can we fight too!?"

Unlike the two kids, the man looked purely exhausted and annoyed. The man, Dan, dropped Danny like a sack of potatoes as he took a long drink from the travel cup in his hand.

It didn't take a genius to recognize the look of an exhausted parent in Dan's expression. A look many of the league members were well acquainted to. A look that even had Batman grimacing with sympathy.

"Can it, little shits. You two were grounded, remember." Dan had growled at the kids before shifting his focus back on the team of heroes before them. His glowing eyes set in a deadly glare. "Pariah Dark isn't coming, and he never will. He's been dethroned and banished. We're the best you've got."

A summoning that started with a group of on edge and scared heroes looking for the ghost king, ended in a way no one expected.

No one was even sure if it made any sense. They weren't sure if they should feel hopeful or in despair.

Because truly, what was a ghostly man with two seemingly human children against a godlike foe with the control over the weather?

The unspoken question of power and ability seemed to vanish following Dan downing the metal travel cup of coffee, and crushing it in his fist.

He tossed it to the side, straighting up his posture as he looked over the heroes. Dan might not be a hero, but he's been playing family for too long.

An almost feral, bloodhungry grin spread across the man's face, sharp fangs on full display. The look made the man suddenly look even less human. He looked closer to a demon from the pits of hell rather than the exhausted parent he looked just a few seconds ago.

"Point me in the direction of this bastard. It's been too long since I let loose and had some fun."

[shadowycorner]

The new season of Ginny & Georgia had NO business being as good as it was.

Like the writer's room really put on their big girl pants and said y'all have played enough, it's time to put my actors to WORK.

Damn.

[hvr-22]

A Johnnytess comic during one of their earlier visits on the Mayship. Testament tries to do their makeup. The rest under the cut,, enjoy :D

[owlithere]

After my post about Jason's naming skills, I started thinking about Mar'i Grayson because I remember shipping Robstar as a child.

So let me indroduce you to Marilla Hope Grayson or Grayson-Wayne (although in the media they twist it to Mary Wayne) as our girl needs a legal name on Earth. I chose the middle name Hope because of Dick - as he is the hope of superheroes. However, I also considered Ruth, but somehow it didn't sound right.

As I am not sure if I want Dick and Kori to be together while raising her or not, I choose to give her godparents to make the situation more complicated and fun!

In my mind, Kori appoints Jason as the godfather on the basis that he has no responsibility like Roy (who has Lian) - well at least in the begining, will do anything for the little one and knows how his family ( the bats) function. Dick appoints Donna as his Wonder Twin and amazon - which will help with the little one's powers.

Kori: I would like Jason to be the godfather. Dick, dubious: Why? Wouldn't Roy have been a more calculated choice … Kori, interrupting: He's your brother and my comrade. He knows both you and me. He'll do anything for the little one. Roy has Lian and needs to focus on her.Plus you'd be suspicious of our nature like I am of yours and Barbara's. Dick: eh, right. What about the godmother? Kori, a bit too quickly: Your choice as long as I know her. Dick, after reflection: Donna? Kori: Great choice ^^

[idonthaveanyurlideas]

back on the 'buddy bails kip out of hell AU' ft. the rat grinders finally caught up to them and theyre SO pissed that the divine manifestation of their values and desires isn't playing along with their "we hate you so bad and never want to see you again and i'm gonna stab you if you get too close i will i promise i'll do it" game

[bloodyhandprint]

watching buck bothered & bewildered and holy mother of god back to back is just soooo fun. it was literally Always about eddie 💅

[vaguely-concerned]

I've landed on some stuff about rye's awful ex-boyfriend: his name was Maxellan Anaxas, the youngest and most woefully superfluous child of the Duke of Cumberland. By the time of his early 20s he’d managed to make enough of a party boy menace of himself back in Cumberland that his family sent him off to Nevarra City to stay with an aunt in the hopes that she'd straighten him out. (it's hard to know whether this was intended as a punishment more for him or for her. Fambly politics!).

wanting to reinvent himself as a hashtag Intellectual upon his arrival at the capital yet blissfully free from any genuine intellectual curiosity or desire to apply himself to gaining any skill of his own, young max hit on the perfect idea: to revive and expand after a brief lull — in his aunt’s name, of course, he is but a humble servant to the family name — the grand tradition of the 'Duchess Games' of the late Duchess Ravria Anaxas (I'm a bit unclear on the timeline here, so for now I'm imagining that this would have been his grandmother or great grandmother and thus aunt’s either mother or grandmother in turn. I feel like she was a more private introverted person and resented the way the tradition had completely ruled the household while she was growing up, and she shut it all down upon ravria’s death half out of spite, even with the way it tanked her own influence. Five fucking minutes of peace and quiet with my cup of tea without some umm actually cumberland scholar infodumping at me PLEASE. Actually looking at it like that I kind of get her lol). 

That shit was free real estate for a young man with new ideas and the urge to impress, though. That's right, max created a Salon tm where he befriended a specific set of the other capital nobles, called in some of his old contacts in cumberland, and rapidly surrounded himself with intellectuals, writers and artists of all stripes to act as patron for -- sunbathing in their reflected radiance until he too appeared to have a pleasing tan of intellectual merit. (he was actually pretty damn intelligent in his own right and especially good at deft social maneuvering, obviously, but he was also chased ever on by the snarling hounds of his many and crippling inferiority complexes from being raised as the kid no one had been clamouring for, the ‘oh. Yeah, and max. Of course. If we must’ of the family, and with very little ability to maintain his attention on anything that did not ultimately center on himself or could somehow profit him for any length of time. you know the type. He was is uncomfrotable when we are not about me. He may have been a little bitter that practical consideration meant he had to do all this in his aunt’s name and initially largely with her money.)

the deal he and his aunt eventually struck was that he managed her new growing art collection until it was the envy of the whole city with all the associated prestige and social clout (he had genuinely good taste and a knack for understanding and eventually guiding the market), and in exchange for handling everything public-facing or social for her she quietly sponsored his renewed party boy antics, art commissions and fancy dinner parties for his arteeste friends far beyond what his punishingly reduced allowance from his father would have permitted. (oh no how the family politics turntables, the fuckup family members have teamed up). And once a year it all came together in a series of debates and competitions to prove who was the smartest specialest little boy (gender neutral) in all the land etc. even the mourn watch received gracious invitations to leave their grave tending for a few days and participate. the levels of backbiting, in-fighting, professional envy, intricate rivalries and love affairs with associated duels and near-constant inebriation going on within his circle of influence as some of the greatest minds of a generation mercilessly competed against each other for maxellan anaxas' attention and generosity were, of course, near radioactive at all times, and that's exactly how he liked it.

now please imagine 19 year old rye ingellvar -- gangling, naive and self-conscious, just at the beginning of his transition, having barely ever spoken to anyone outside of the mourn watch before in his life and thought a little odd even among them, talented but too restless to consistently apply it to anything and so starved for any kind of affection after renn's death eight years prior that his subconscious was ready to do fucking Anything to obtain it who needs self-respect I am so lonely I could gnaw myself to the bone without help from any beetle -- dropped straight into this piranha tank of nevarran high society :') he never stood a chance, especially when max immediately sniffed out the possibility of adding a promising young watcher to his own private collection of devotees. ("he collected art for his aunt, and peple for himself," rye tells lucanis many years later, while lucanis vibrates with 'please please PLEASE can I kill him for you, I will pay you to be allowed to kill this man' energy. 'that is very sweet but you’re late to the party, unfortunately — I heard he already went and got himself killed in a duel a couple of years ago over fucking the wrong person’s husband' 'given the proclivities of your people, may I go out there and put him down again?' 'huh. there's a thought. let me think about it. also I love you <3')

I only have the barest outlines in my mind of the professor who served as rye's mage mentor growing up/shathann equivalent in his life, but I feel like rye getting together with max (after an intensely effective charm offensive on max’ part, he was very good at making you feel like the most special person in the room and even meant it this time, probably, at least until he got bored) would be the thing that made that relationship permanently cool after already getting strained as rye grew up and continued to be 'difficult', unfocused and underachieving despite his potential. she meant well and was right to try to warn him because as you can tell the writing was pretty much on the wall from the beginning (and for all her shortcomings in a parental capacity she had loved rye since he was all but a baby and didn't want to see him hurt), but a) in all of human history literally when has well-meaning sensible advice ever gotten through to a young person in the throes of their first big love and b) she was not particularly gentle with her advice.

in hindsight it was perhaps not a promising start to order him into her office to tell him "he is not good for you. he is not good for anyone, least of all himself. Yes, I wager he can be nice from time to time if he feels like it, but he is not kind, and you are too good to be just another addition to his inane collections. WHY are you wasting your time with some noble whelp instead of focusing on your studies, these last crucial years of your training??? did I teach you to be so careless with your duties?" and that's when resentment built up over years (especially since most of the actual nurturing part of parenting had been renn's domain and she'd been kind of helpless to help rye with the grief after he died beyond the odd watcher truism and awkward ‘chin up sport’ pat on the shoulder) finally broke its dams in rye's heart and made him snap back. (despite having some parallels here, the biggest difference between rye and taash’ base temperaments is probably that rye would never dream of talking back to any of the adults in his life growing up the way taash does with their mother lol he was more of the people pleaser who nevertheless couldn’t seem to please anyone/high masker. More given to Flight and Fawn than Fight overall, but with that repressed rage building up even banished to the deep even more for it, of course.)

so after he's shot back with uncharacteristic ferocity that "so when exactly am I going to get to have anything other than duty in my life? do I have to stay down here among the dead and wait until I join them to be allowed to have anything of my own at all??" and she's answered "...that is what the order asks of us, ella -- I mean, rye. watcher ingellvar" more perplexed to hear him raise his voice with her than angry in turn but completely at a loss for what to do with any of it........ there wasn't really much left to say. and so when the predicted catastrophe unfolded over the next few years like a very slow yet inevitable train crash with the relationship rye had hoped would be the big good thing that could make it all mean something turned increasingly toxic and controlling, there wasn't really anyone there to catch him as he crumbled nor help him pick up the pieces afterwards. (which then as now also has a lot to do with him not letting anyone in to help him; he did have some watcher friends who sort of tried but were gently rebuffed until they mostly gave up.) and that's partially why rye is the way that he is today probably. the first thing/person to get through to him and his depression after all this was varric almost a decade later, and that in turn is why the realization of what actually happened to varric sealed solas' fate so irrevocably.

I think rye and mage mentor did reconcile a bit before she died when he was in his early 30s, but in a way that mutually and ruefully included the understanding of the things they couldn’t be to each other and the acceptance of that. That might be the only funeral of someone close to him where he lead the ceremony, at her request — with renn he was just Baby and numb with grief, and with harding ( :’( im so sad) and varric he’s too torn up about it still and emmrich kindly steps in when the team come together to have a little memorial post-game for everyone lost. 

(re: the inferiority complexes and charm offensives: yes, max is who rye means when he tells illario he reminds him of his ex. (‘Not in a good way.’) And illario not unsympathetically is like ‘yeah I get that a lot’ and it’s ironically one of their most simpatico moments. During that interminable dellamorte family dinner party, they truly Got each other.)   

tl;dr: rye may have had a very bad relationship in his early twenties that almost ruined his life (he very nearly didn't finish his trials to become a watcher because of it, breaking up with max for good literally like. a week before the point of no return and having to do half a year's worth of work in that one fevered hungover week lmao, that orb he keeps in his room is a miracle in several ways) and that made him even weirder at intimacy than he already was naturally, but at least it permanently vaccinated him against the particular 'prove yourself to me and I'll give you my honest respect, trust and affection (prommy, this time for sure)' game that solas likes to play with people. I think even feeling the impulse to impress solas rise within him would make rye immediately nauseous and 'lmao nah baby I've been here before I've seen this room I've walked these floors and it sucked the first time around too. Fool me once shame on me fool me twice I’m ready to bite someone’s throat out actually.'

[genericwizard]

The fun thing about creating a bunch of "next generation" ocs is that you start out with all the ships you care about, but in order to have fun playing with your new dolls you need antagonists and just more kids to hang out with in general. This is how you start really making fun ocs bc then you have kids who are children of pairs you don't even like or think should have had kids.

[brooklynishere]

Also on the subject of Hazbin Hotel, I was perusing the wiki and read in the trivia section that Angel likes kids but is a bad influence, and that Husk is great with children, so now I really need an accidental child acquisition fic

[adhd-winterfalcon]

(some parent get-together thing at rose’s school)

random parent: *purposely deadnames and misgenders rose in a conversation*

donna, rolling up her sleeves: you wanna say that again?

the doctor, holding her back: they’re not worth it

random parent: wow, would you look at that. it’s the f^g and the hag!

the doctor, rolling up his sleeves: what the !@&$ did you just call her?

shaun, holding both of them back: you’re a grown adult bullying a child. it’s absolutely pathetic. you obviously use insults to hide your own insecurities, and tonight you decided to take it out on my wife and brother-in-law. that was a bad decision. don’t make it again.

random parent: …

shaun: anyway, have a good night everyone! :D

[eddiediazenjoyer]

GODDDD shannon diaz….. she can literally do whatever she wants forever like actually. what you have to understand is that she was NINETEEN!!!! when she had a child and her husband fucking joined the military. that alone literally gives her the pass to do whatever forever. but also . her husband left her alone with his insane parents who questioned everything she did and a baby that became her full time responsibility . at the age of nineteen . and then came back and responded to her begging him to be a present partner and dad with :) i was providing :) and told her that she shouldn’t go back to work even part time. if u take off eddie goggles for one singular second (very difficult…. trust me i know) you’re like ohhhhhh i see. she deserved to do whatever she wanted FOREVER

[thebisexual-disaster]

There is no heterological explanation for whatever the fuck is happening between Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz

[chatdomestique]

I think dating* should be reserved exclusively for people who have non-romantic goals. Which isn’t to say you can’t hope for romance at all, it just doesn’t make sense to court a literal stranger if your priority is finding love.

If your main goal is romantic, you should allow romantic love to grow naturally from your friendships. Stop forcing romantic relationships with people who you wouldn’t even like as a platonic friend, and then wondering why you don’t feel loved.

*going out with someone to determine if you like them and want to move forward with a relationship. not to be confused with having a partner you’re already committed to

[fruitlessthoughts]

You are so pretty! Are you single?

Yes but I still live with my ex 😞